Paul Virzi's Mic Drop Marriage Proposal | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

First Date with Lauren Compton: Paul Virzi's Mic Drop Marriage Proposal

Release Date: December 10, 2024

In this engaging episode of "First Date with Lauren Compton," host Lauren Compton invites stand-up comedian Paul Virzi to share his humorous and heartfelt journey through marriage, comedy, and personal growth. The conversation offers listeners a deep dive into Paul’s life, showcasing his wit, resilience, and the dynamics of his long-term relationship.

Introduction to Paul Virzi

Lauren Compton sets the stage by introducing Paul Virzi as a seasoned comedian with appearances on Netflix and Comedy Central. Paul reveals his latest hour-long special, "Reasonable Man," which he filmed at the Den Theater in Chicago—a venue he describes as "intimate" with a "great stage" (01:06).

Comedy Career and Personal Life

Paul discusses the blend of personal and observational humor in his routines. Having been married for 17 years, he intertwines stories about his family life, including his 15-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter, into his acts. He humorously contrasts his on-stage persona with more controversial topics, illustrating his versatile comedic range.

"I talk about everything—from family stuff to weird topics like abortion rallies and mental challenges." (01:34)

The Unconventional Path to Marriage

One of the most captivating parts of the conversation is Paul’s unique story of meeting his wife. Their paths crossed multiple times through mutual friends and workplace connections, leading to a series of comedic yet heartfelt encounters. Paul recounts the first time he spoke to his wife—a tense phone call where she accused him of cheating, unaware that he wasn't (03:09).

Navigating Relationship Dynamics

Paul emphasizes the importance of date nights in maintaining a strong relationship. Despite his demanding schedule as a comedian and their active family life, he and his wife strive to prioritize their connection through regular outings. He likens date nights to "a quarterback taking the offensive line out", highlighting their role in protecting and nurturing the relationship (10:14).

Love Languages and Emotional Support

When discussing love languages, Paul values understanding and personal space as his primary ways of feeling loved. He appreciates his wife’s ability to give him space to handle his thoughts and emotions, which is crucial given the mental challenges that come with his profession.

"Her kind of letting me have my own space... just being understanding about what I’m going through." (12:33)

Humorous Anecdotes and Personal Preferences

The episode is peppered with Paul’s signature humor as he delves into various personal preferences through a “This or That” segment. From choosing between cats and dogs to debating pineapple on pizza, Paul provides laugh-out-loud responses that reveal his quirky personality.

"I don’t like pineapple on pizza. It could be good, but no, my ultimate answer is no pineapple on pizza." (21:27)

Memorable Stories: Surprise Parties and Proposals

Paul shares two significant life events filled with humor and emotion:

1. Surprise 40th Birthday Party: Paul describes the overwhelming surprise orchestrated by his wife and team, which initially left him panicked but ultimately heartened by the support of his loved ones (29:06).

2. Marriage Proposal: In a hilariously nerve-wracking recount, Paul narrates his attempt to propose to his wife during a dinner at a restaurant. Distracted by a Dodgers game highlight, his unconventional approach led to an awkward yet memorable moment before he successfully asked her to marry him (44:43).

"It was like my mic drop, not as awesome as this. And then I got on one knee. It was awkward." (48:05)

Balancing Career and Family

Paul discusses the challenges of balancing a demanding career with family life. Frequent travel and late nights make it difficult to maintain consistent date nights, but he and his wife adapt by finding creative ways to connect when possible.

"When we can, we're just... we're just me and mom going to the restaurant." (11:25)

Conclusion

Paul Virzi's appearance on "First Date with Lauren Compton" offers a blend of humor, vulnerability, and insightful anecdotes that resonate with listeners navigating their own relationships and personal challenges. His stories underscore the importance of communication, understanding, and making time for loved ones amidst life's chaos. This episode not only entertains but also provides valuable lessons on sustaining meaningful connections.

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Notable Quotes:

• "I talk about everything—from family stuff to weird topics like abortion rallies and mental challenges." — Paul Virzi (01:34)
• "Her kind of letting me have my own space... just being understanding about what I’m going through." — Paul Virzi (12:33)
• "I don’t like pineapple on pizza. It could be good, but no, my ultimate answer is no pineapple on pizza." — Paul Virzi (21:27)
• "It was like my mic drop, not as awesome as this. And then I got on one knee. It was awkward." — Paul Virzi (48:05)

Transcript

[Alex]

Alex, do you like canned cranberry sauce or should we make it ourselves? That's my mom. She didn't know about Instacart's family carts. So wanna make pecan pie this year, yes or no? Oh, and how many boxes of stuffing? So I told her we could just share a family cart and add all our holiday favorites to the same order without losing our voices or our sanity. It's so much fun. Alex, can you get my holiday village out of the attic? Baby steps, Alex, baby steps. Shop Instacart this holiday season and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. Alex, I'm so excited to see you tonight. First Date, baby. First date. I can't wait.

[Paul Verzy]

First date.

[Alex]

What's up, you guys? Welcome to another episode of First Date. My guest today is a standup comedian. You have seen him on Netflix, Comedy Central. He's got a new special out called Reasonable man on YouTube. Paul Verzy.

[Paul Verzy]

Yes. Thank you for having me.

[Alex]

Thank you for coming on.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, I'm glad to be here.

[Alex]

So you were just telling me that you filmed your special in Chicago.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, the Den Theater, Chicago. Love it, love it. Intimate. Great stage looked great. So Chicago was great to me during my touring. So I'm like, I'm going to. I actually told the crowd, I go, you guys are so good to me, I'm going to do it here. And I did.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

What's some of the like the content of it? Do you talk about relationships? Is it?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, a little bit. You know, I've been married going on 17 years. I have.

[Alex]

Congratulations.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. I have a. I have a. I was about to say little boy. I have a 15 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. It went insanely fast. So. Yeah, talk about that. But then there's other stuff too, you know, like it's. It's not just family stuff. It's like I'm weird. I think people are like, you're kind of like family and sitcom, but then you'll do an abortion rally, like mentally challenged. So I just talk about everything.

[Alex]

That's cool.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Alex]

Well, congratulations.

[Paul Verzy]

Thank you.

[Alex]

You said it's like an hour long.

[Paul Verzy]

Yes, hour long special.

[Alex]

Amazing. So you've been married 17 years?

[Paul Verzy]

My mom November 17th. So yeah, very recent. 17 years.

[Alex]

Wow. That's my ex husband's birthday.

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, yeah.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Hopefully it's a good omen.

[Alex]

Yeah. I mean it's a Scorpio season.

[Paul Verzy]

Yes.

[Alex]

Or maybe it was the 14th.

[Paul Verzy]

Still Scorpio.

[Alex]

It's been so long. I don't even remember.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. Still Scorpio, though.

[Alex]

So where did you meet your wife?

[Paul Verzy]

Dude, it's kind of crazy. Okay.

[Alex]

I love this.

[Paul Verzy]

It's kind of crazy. My wife kept popping up in my life. So you know the way, like, school districts, sometimes they have rival high schools.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

So I went to the rival high school and I dated her best friend. Her, like, one of her best friends from junior high was like my high school sweetheart. And I never. I just heard about her through the girl I was dating.

[Alex]

No way.

[Paul Verzy]

Yes. Oh, my friend Stacy. And she just went. Yeah. We lived in different parts, so she had to go to this high school. And I went here and I never saw her or knew her until you.

[Alex]

Just heard about her.

[Paul Verzy]

I just heard about her.

[Alex]

Oh.

[Paul Verzy]

My friend in. My best friend in junior high. And we had to split up and go to different high schools. And I was dating her friend the first time. This is a true story. I don't know if I ever said this on a podcast before. The first time I ever spoke with my wife, that is my wife and mother of my kids say the first time I was a senior in high school and she called me up, yelling at me, going, how dare you cheat on my friend. You don't know who I am, but I heard you cheated. How dare you do that? And I'm like, you don't even fucking know me. I don't even know you. I wasn't cheating on anybody. Like, my mom was in the kitchen cooking and this random girl calls me up. Cause she got my number from my girlfriend or ex girlfriend at the time, and she yelled at me. That was the first time I ever spoke to my wife.

[Alex]

Did you cheat on your ex girlfriend?

[Paul Verzy]

We were always on and off. I mean, maybe, but I don't think so.

[Alex]

Was it a breakup and then you hooked up with someone else and you were broke and so wasn't cheating.

[Paul Verzy]

It was like that high school thing where you're with somebody for so long, but then when you're off, you gotta maybe do your own thing. Yeah. Like you said, like, that you were broken up. And then word got out and then I get this random phone call from this just girl yelling at me. When I'm a senior in high school.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Then fast forward, school's over. I. I become a busboy at Applebee's.

[Alex]

I love Applebee's.

[Paul Verzy]

I become a busboy at Applebee's. And I'm like 19, 20 years old. And I started basically kind of like dating the manager there. And as a busboy and that the manager was my wife's best friend in high school.

[Alex]

No. So your wife had a lot of best friends.

[Paul Verzy]

So she had a best friend in junior high that they split.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Paul Verzy]

And then her. And then her best friend in high school. So she would just show up to Applebee's as her, you know.

[Alex]

But you didn't know. You didn't like.

[Paul Verzy]

No, then I do. Then I did. Like, when she would show up to Applebee's, I was like, oh, you're the one that yelled at me about that.

[Alex]

I knew, okay.

[Paul Verzy]

And then. And then. And then she popped in my life again. I moved to Queens. She moved to Jersey City. We found out we were down there, and we started to, like, hang out, go to the movies, but she just wanted to be friends. She just wanted to be friends. And we'd go out and I'd go, you want to get drinks? And then I'd get hammered, and I'd try making out with her in the car and shit. And she would be like, I don't know. And I would. And then I was like, let me go home. Let me, like, get you home safe. And she did live in a shithole. So that was my excuse. Like, I was like, how could your parents let you live here? This is fucking horrible. And, yeah, and then she was like, no, you don't have to take me home. And then that's when I knew. And I was, like, trying, and she kind of was just giving me this pushback kind of pushback. And then.

[Alex]

How long did that go for? It?

[Paul Verzy]

Five months.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Paul Verzy]

It went for five months. And I remember one night, I was living in Manhattan, my older brother and I go, man, this girl is like, I'm getting tired of this. Like, I keep. You know. And I'll never forget. He just goes. He goes, dude. He goes, if it doesn't work out, it's her loss. Fuck it. And I was like, yeah. I was like, yeah, what the fuck? And we went to go see that horror. You know?

[Alex]

That's some girl talk, by the way.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, but it worked. Call me a bitch. It worked. It worked. I was like, yeah, you know what? I don't need this shit.

[Alex]

Fuck her.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, I'm a good man. And that horrible Chris Rock movie Head of State was out when he was, like, president and Bernie Mac was his running mate. And it was actually kind of funny. But I remember me and my brother went to. And I'm like, if I don't hear from her this weekend, I'm done. And, like, I was at peace in My mind, in my heart, I'm like, I'm fucking done, man. Her fucking loss. You know what I mean? And I remember, like, talking myself into things. Like, man, she likes whack dudes. Anyway. Fuck. You know, just saying. And then all of a sudden, that night, I got a text from her that said, I miss you. And it was almost like the universe, like, as I was done, she just goes, I miss you. Yeah. And then here's a funny one for you. We're sitting down, having dinner, having drinks, and things are going well. So it's 100% true story. And all of a sudden, she gets a call. I'm sitting across from her at the table. We were in a restaurant in Manhattan, and she just goes, hello. What? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She starts crying. She gets up and walks out. She's outside the window. I just see her crying. She comes back, she goes, my dad just had a heart attack. My dad just had a heart attack. And I'm like, yo, it's not good. No. But I was also like, you know, he's alive, you know, like, he's.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

So I was like, you probably shouldn't be alone tonight. I was like, you probably. You probably need. Cause I knew he lived. So, you know, I was like, you. You know, you shouldn't be alone.

[Alex]

This is a mo. This is an open door.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. I was like, you got it. You can't go home like this.

[Alex]

Yeah. It sounds like you need a drink.

[Paul Verzy]

You know, you can't. Yeah. Like, you need to talk.

[Alex]

Yeah. You need a shoulder to cry on or addict to fuck.

[Paul Verzy]

This guy. I didn't even meet this guy. He's cock blocking me. I didn't even meet him yet. I didn't fucking meet this guy.

[Alex]

This guy.

[Paul Verzy]

Rest his soul. Rest his soul. He did pass away. Not then, no.

[Alex]

But this works in your favor.

[Paul Verzy]

And then. Yeah. And then I guess over time, she was just. We just had a. We just had a great time, you know? We had a great time. And then all of a sudden, that was it. That was it. I started dating her seriously when I was, like, 23, 24, and she was with me for the majority of my standup career. When I first started doing standup, I would do, like, I would do all the black rooms, urban circuit. I would do contests. Like, I literally came up in comedy, like, eight Mile style. I swear to God, Like, I'd be the only in the room in a. In an all black room in New York.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

And it was like, white boy, you better be funny. And they'd put me on and I would do it. And then I would call her, like, while we were friends still, like. Or I was trying to hook up. And I'd be like, yeah, I think I. You know, I think I did good. This and that. And she was with me all the way from pretty much, I would say maybe, like, I would do. I was doing comedy two and a half to three and a half years before she got, like, really involved in my life.

[Alex]

Cool.

[Paul Verzy]

And here we are, 17 years later, two kids. Wow. Yeah.

[Alex]

What a great story.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

All the way from, like a junior high. So does that girl know now that your ex girlfriend, that was your high school sweetheart?

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, they know. Yeah.

[Alex]

Does she think it's weird?

[Paul Verzy]

No. Like, I've kind of lost touch with obviously everybody else.

[Alex]

I mean, I guess now it doesn't, like, matter, but at any point in time, was it.

[Paul Verzy]

No, no. Because it was years later. Like, it was kind of years later and. But one time we were drinking in a bar and she had a. My wife. We were drinking in a bar. She had a boyfriend. And I had a girlfriend at the time. And I told her. I told her four years before we started dating. I said, I'm gonna marry you. And she said, what are you talking about? You have a girlfriend, I have a boyfriend. I was like, watch, I'm gonna marry you. I pulled that Tony Montana shit and I won.

[Alex]

That's amazing. Yeah, I love this story.

[Paul Verzy]

I'm just a fucking winner. You know what I mean?

[Alex]

All you do is win, win, win, you know?

[Paul Verzy]

I mean, listen, some guys fall short. I don't.

[Alex]

It takes one girl's dad having a heart attack.

[Paul Verzy]

No, thank God. Like, he was really cool. Like, nothing happened to him that night. But then, you know, he dealt with some issues. Rest his soul. He was great. But. Yeah. Yeah. And then that was it. The rest is history.

[Alex]

That's cool.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Do you guys what it. So now that you guys have been married for 17 years and you have kids.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

What is your idea of a. Of a date night?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, date night's important because when things get, you know, with two kids and, you know, my wife works from home now, remotely, since COVID and I'm on the road a lot, so we needed that. It's like I always say, date night is the most important. It's like a quarterback taking the offensive line out. They protect you. You gotta make sure. You gotta keep things good. It's just dinner and going back to dating. Talking, getting wine and. Yeah. And just. Just kind of like Putting aside all the wild shit that's going on with the responsibility and just kind of getting back to, like, what started it.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

How often do you guys do date night? Like that.

[Paul Verzy]

We want to do it like once every two weeks, but it's hard. I say we try to do it like once a month.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Because I'll be away. She'll be. You know, it's.

[Alex]

It's a lot finding a time to go out and do that.

[Paul Verzy]

Well, my kids need, like, somebody's. Someone's got practice. My kids are athletes and they're good athletes and both play two sports. So it's like when I'm home, I'm like an Uber driver. It's like, I gotta get, you know, Lucas practice, Sophia, this. Volleyball, soccer. So it's like a lot, you know. So when we can. We're just. But they are old enough now to chill at home, so we'll be like, oh, me and mom are going to the restaurant. We'll see you later.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

What is your. It's a weird question. What's your love language?

[Paul Verzy]

What do you mean? Like, kinky shit?

[Alex]

No. Unless we want to, like, jump to that level, but. So love language is like, what makes you feel loved? Is it physical touch? Is it words, evidence, information? Some people enjoy gifts.

[Paul Verzy]

No, I would just say, like, her being quiet, but like, in a. That sounds bad. Like, like. No, not like, shut the fuck up. Like, her. Her kind of letting me have your own space. Yeah. And like, you know, as a comic, we go through shit in our minds and you go. You know, sometimes there's sadness, depression, anxiety. Sometimes letting me go through that, like, okay, he needs, like, you know, because then I know she's understanding. So I guess the love language would be like just being understanding about, like, what. What I'm going through. And then look, a little touch here and there. A little affection never hurt anybody.

[Alex]

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[Paul Verzy]

Yes.

[Alex]

Yeah. I feel like the more pregnant I get, the more physical touch matters.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

To me because before I was always like whatever, like we can have sex whenever and it's fine. But now is like what? My body changes. It's like important. I guess. It was never like important.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay.

[Alex]

To me.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. No. My wife, it's like I love, like I'm more affectionate, I think, than she is.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. Like I love just even something simple like just hugging and all that shit. I'm just like. But then once a hug I get like, you know, I'm on the road a lot so I'll get a chubby with a hug. I've gotten chubbies with a normal hug in the kitchen. And then after that I'm like, do you wanna. And then a lot of times she's like, nah, I can't. She's like, I can't. What are we talking? I'm working. What are you.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

And I'm like, then don't hug me. I got a hug.

[Alex]

What do you guys do you guys watch movies at night or like TV shows? Do you have like.

[Paul Verzy]

No. My wife is like in bed at 9:45, sleeping by 10 and I got that comic schedule so I'm not in bed until like 1:30. But sometimes we'll lay down and just watch like a show or. She's very much like, I don't want to. My wife is like a 12 year old boy. She watches. She falls asleep to Harry Potter. She falls asleep to Marvel movies. She falls asleep to Ryan Reynolds. She falls asleep to like. I'm just like, you're watching Iron Man. She's like, it just makes me.

[Alex]

Yeah, she'll just. I love her.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, that's what she's saying every night. She'll watch. You know, there's certain movies.

[Alex]

I've watched Harry Potter so many times.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

That I think my boyfriend is like concerned.

[Paul Verzy]

No, no, I've. My wife has fallen asleep to every Harry Potter movie consecutively for 12 years. I go to bed to that.

[Alex]

That's what I do.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I put it. And he's like, now he's not shocked at all.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But I'm a full on here actually in Austin, they have a night stroll or something. Oh, she'd love that. All Harry Potter.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, she would love that.

[Alex]

Oh, I can't wait to go. But it's a Christmas thing.

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, she would love that. Yeah, she's into that big time. So she's very much like, she likes the routine. She likes to go to bed and she likes like, she doesn't like if I go to bed and I go, hey, can I watch my movie or can I watch something? She's like, if it's something that I'm not familiar, it's gonna get me unsettled.

[Alex]

Well then you have to also like, stay tuned.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like, you have to like, you want to know what happens next because it's something new, right?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alex]

Harry Potter.

[Paul Verzy]

She knows like, she knows it in her sleep.

[Alex]

Same.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, she got. She was into this like, she was into this like Shrek phase where like Shrek was on at night when I would come to bed every night and I was like, what the fuck are you, are you 12 years old? What are we doing Here. And she's like, no, I just know it. I just know she wants to go to bed to something she just knows and is familiar with. Yeah.

[Alex]

I wonder if that's a childhood thing where we just, like, love comfortable.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You just feel comfortable knowing.

[Paul Verzy]

I think you nailed it when you said, like, she doesn't want to lay down hearing something that now she's got to pay attention to.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. In the background.

[Paul Verzy]

Exactly.

[Alex]

And Harry Potter has, like, a really great soundtrack.

[Paul Verzy]

The background is. Yeah.

[Alex]

So I have this tasting menu, and I always wait till the end to do it, and then sometimes I forget about it. So I'm gonna do it now.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay.

[Alex]

So it's a this or that.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay.

[Alex]

So it's first thing that comes to your mind. You just answer it.

[Paul Verzy]

Like, first thing that pops in my mind.

[Alex]

Cats or dogs?

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, okay. That's tough. I love both dogs. I love both, though.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. I had two cats, Stanley and Thomas. They were real brothers. One lived to almost 19 and one lived to almost 17. I got one of them for my wife's 26th birthday, and then we got another. Another one from the same litter the next day. And they were like, dogs. My cats were like dogs. And I'm not like. I know the way people say that. Here's the problem with cats. Okay. Problem with cats is. Here's the problem with cats. People get a cat, and then they fucking put. And it's under a bed for 15 years. Cause they don't. You have to. I used to walk around with my cat like it was a football. Always holding it.

[Alex]

Really?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. You gotta treat a cat like a woman that you like at a bar. But you don't want to be too much, Right. So you take it. You would hold it, put it down. Then you put it down and start walking away. And the cat's like, oh, this is not a threat.

[Alex]

So you walk around holding your cat. Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

You get a cat, you walk around, you touch it, you handle it, you play with the cat. But then you put it down and you're like, yeah, go. And then it's like, oh, shit, I want that again.

[Alex]

Huh?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I didn't know that.

[Paul Verzy]

And then. Yeah, because what normally happens is people get a cat, the cat's skittish, and then the cat's under the bed for you ever. You have that friend that's got a cat, but you never saw it. Every time you fucking go to the house, you never see it.

[Alex]

It does usually scatter.

[Paul Verzy]

Scatter. It's scared. It's under A bed. It's like, that's not, you know. Yeah, so. But our cat, my cats, I'd be like, stanley thing would run over like a dog, huh? Run over like a dog. So I do love cats because they died and I was so heartbroken, I had to take them each time to get put down. Oh, no, I'm not getting cats anymore. So now dogs.

[Alex]

Dogs.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay. A beach vacation or a mountain retreat.

[Paul Verzy]

1,000% beach.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. What am I going camping? Fuck that.

[Alex]

No, you could go to like Big Bear and sit in a Jacuzzi in the mountains.

[Paul Verzy]

No, I'm gonna sit on the sand, look at the ocean and enjoy life. I don't do lakes. Lakes is trash people. Lakes is trash, lakes is trash. Mountains, hiking, that's all.

[Alex]

What about Lake Como?

[Paul Verzy]

Nah, fuck that. I'll be in. I want to go to the beaches in Sicily and Spain. And I want to go to Jersey Shore. The LBi and Jersey Shores. Beautiful beaches. I want to be on the beach. 1000% beach.

[Alex]

Okay. Pizza or tacos? I mean, I feel like you have to be pizza.

[Paul Verzy]

I mean, I can't even believe the question. Look at me.

[Alex]

You did Chicago for your special. You live in New York. Like, nothing about that. Screaming tacos to me.

[Paul Verzy]

Pizza.

[Alex]

Pizza. 1000% thin or thick crust?

[Paul Verzy]

Thin.

[Alex]

Do you like pineapple on your pizza?

[Paul Verzy]

No, but I don't think, you know, I don't think it's that, you know, I don't think that people should be killed the way people act like it.

[Alex]

I don't like pineapple.

[Paul Verzy]

I don't like pineapple on pizza. I wouldn't get it, but I did hear, actually Joe Rogan, I don't know if you saw that clip, but he says that pineapple with anchovies is like the most addicting thing, so. And I like anchovies, so I'm going to give that a try. But no. My ultimate answer to that question is no pineapple on pizza. Man.

[Alex]

That's like a weird.

[Paul Verzy]

I know, but it could be good. It could be.

[Alex]

That's like. That's like pickles and potato chips to me. That's like a weird combo. But they taste so good. That's salty.

[Paul Verzy]

It like it hits like you don't think it would. And then you're. And then you think about it later.

[Alex]

Yeah, you get like a dill pickle and some salty ass lay's chips.

[Paul Verzy]

You know what I had today? It fucked me up, man. I had. Do you know, I just, just last year, Last year was the first time I really understood. I never knew what bagel and lox was.

[Alex]

Oh, really?

[Paul Verzy]

Ever? I didn't know what it was because I just figured, like, Jewish food is terrible, right? Like, right?

[Alex]

Yeah. Most people. Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Like, you don't know what's like, oh, we're going, let's go get some Jew. Right? So then they were like, you gotta try the bagel and lox with capers. So I had it last year, 2, 20, 23, I had it. And I was like, oh, my God. Because I like sushi. So since it was smoked, I was like, I'm not going to like this because it's not, like, raw. Anyway, I fell in love with it today in Austin. I went to a place called Cafe Crepe.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Paul Verzy]

And it was the salmon and capers with a light, light layer of cream cheese on a crepe. And in the crepe was a little bit of sliced tomato. And it fucking changed everything in my life.

[Alex]

It was good.

[Paul Verzy]

It was. It was nuts. I'll come back to Austin for that.

[Alex]

Really?

[Paul Verzy]

It was nuts. So. But it's a combo. You don't think a crepe? Because when I think of crepe, I.

[Alex]

Think sweet, like Nutella and strawberries or something.

[Paul Verzy]

It was. It was insane. And less than a bagel with, you know, because a bagel's heavy.

[Alex]

So, you know, I. Speaking of Jews, I thought that kosher meant salt. When someone would say that, it's kosher.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I would think that it was extra salty. Because growing up, my mom always had kosher salt.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Yeah. Like, huge letters. They would just say, like, kosher salt.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So whenever I'd go somewhere, they're like, it's kosher. I'm like, okay, it's gonna be salty. And then I would eat it, and it was never fucking salty. And I'm like, this is the worst kosher food I've ever had in my life. None of this is salty.

[Paul Verzy]

What nationality are you?

[Alex]

I'm English.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay.

[Alex]

I learned. I did a 23andMe.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay.

[Alex]

And so Compton is an English last name, and I'm like, 100% Northern European.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay. Nice. Are you excited about that? No, I'm not.

[Alex]

It's so bland. It's like kosher. Like, I feel kosher, but the thing.

[Paul Verzy]

Is, like, I feel like people from there or like English people aren't as warm, and you see more warm than that. So there's got to be something else got mixed in.

[Alex]

I like. Like, English people drink tea and stuff.

[Paul Verzy]

Like, not tea, you know? No. Tea or coffee?

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, tea.

[Paul Verzy]

That's, that's, that's hard.

[Alex]

You want tea if someone's like, would you like some tea? No. Get away from me, psycho.

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, okay.

[Alex]

Tea. Do you drink tea?

[Paul Verzy]

I mean, I'm definitely more coffee, but I'll, I'll with tea. I mean, sorry.

[Alex]

Maybe green tea. Yeah, I went to Japan. I drank little English breakfast.

[Paul Verzy]

You don't like a little honey? No.

[Alex]

All right. Tea.

[Paul Verzy]

Sore throat.

[Alex]

Anyway.

[Paul Verzy]

All right, next question.

[Alex]

Netflix binge or an outdoor adventure?

[Paul Verzy]

Netflix binge.

[Alex]

You know, I think I'm with you on that.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Singing in the shower or dancing in the mirror?

[Paul Verzy]

Singing in the shower can do.

[Alex]

You have a good voice.

[Paul Verzy]

I mean, probably not, but I mean, I'm not going to dance in a mirror just because I just. Dancing is like. Yeah, you know, I'll. You know what I mean? Dude, what fucking like dancing in a mirror is.

[Alex]

I had to think about that for a minute. But yeah, isn't that weird?

[Paul Verzy]

Dancing in a mirror is literally sociopathic. It's crazy.

[Alex]

Yeah. People who drink tea, if you fucking dance in mirrors, if you look in.

[Paul Verzy]

The mirror and just start dancing and. And you're alone, that's lunacy. That's crazy. Singing it in the shower is normal because you're like getting ready to go out.

[Alex]

You know, you're hyping it up.

[Paul Verzy]

Maybe the last song you heard in the car. Your playlist. Sometimes, like when I'm in the shower, sometimes I'll just put my. I'll just hit my playlist while I'm in the shower. So like sometimes. But if I got out, dried off, and then looked in the mirror and started fucking dance, that's the craziest thing in the world. That's wild.

[Alex]

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[Paul Verzy]

Oh, man.

[Alex]

Was in my room.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Staring at me, twerking in the mirror.

[Paul Verzy]

That's how psychotic dancing in the mirror is that. You remember it from 7 years old?

[Alex]

I do. It was so cringe to me, too. And I apologized immediately. I was like, I'm so sorry you had to see that. I didn't even enjoy it. Like, this isn't. No, no one is gonna like seeing this. We've all learned something today.

[Paul Verzy]

I love that you had the wherewithal at seven to be like, dad, I'm sorry. I don't know what.

[Alex]

Yeah, I was like, I just. I'm. I'm so sorry that you had to see that. And I had to try it.

[Paul Verzy]

That's good.

[Alex]

So that was the only dancing in the mirror I've ever done. I never did it again. I learned my lesson. Burned. You know you're a sneaker guy, right?

[Paul Verzy]

Yes.

[Alex]

Okay. I was gonna ask, sneaker, do you wear thong sandals ever?

[Paul Verzy]

My wife got me this brown pair when we're on vacation. Sometimes they're kind of, like, dressy, though. They're like. So I don't really wear them, like, a lot, but. No, I would say not even 2% of the time. Ever.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

No.

[Alex]

If a guy wears thong sandals.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. He might as well be wearing a real fucking thong.

[Alex]

Yeah. Red flag.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I don't want to see your toes. No, no one wants to see your toes. I don't even wear thong sandwiches. Have you ever had a surprise party?

[Paul Verzy]

I did for my 40th, and it was so surprising that I thought I was gonna have a. Like, I had to gather myself.

[Alex]

Really?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. Yeah. It was my 40th, and my special had come out. My special had come out on Comedy Central a few days before.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Paul Verzy]

So everybody, my manager and my whole team planned, like, oh, he's gonna go on interviews and he's gonn. So we're going to Set up an interview late at night in the city. They told comedy clubs, don't book Paul. Right. And my wife. And they did this thing called the Brandy Library in Manhattan where you go downstairs and it's got all of these whiskeys and they talk about them and all this different shit. And they told me I was going for an interview down there. So I go down this spiral staircase. It's like 7:30 at night. And I just turn the corner. And every single person close in my life, my mother, my friends, comedians from la, were just all standing there. And I turned and they surprise. And it fucked me up so much that I had to. I walked out for a second. It was so. It was so. And one of my friends goes, I don't know if he's ready for. This is a little much because, like, I'm running around the city and I'm like doing this and that. And it's like the end of the night, I'm thinking about going home. I just want to go home. And then all of a sudden, like, everybody I love and it took me a second. It was cool after that, but it was wild.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. I was good with it after that.

[Alex]

So your manager threw that for you?

[Paul Verzy]

Well, my wife and manager kind of worked it out together. Yeah. Yeah.

[Alex]

That's cool. I've never, Excuse me. Had a surprise party, but I've thrown them.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like, I've given them to other people.

[Paul Verzy]

That's a caring, nice thing.

[Alex]

I feel like it's cool. It's a lot of work.

[Paul Verzy]

That's the thing. That's the thing.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

And you don't want to be the one to ruin it.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Having that hanging over your head and.

[Alex]

You have all these people that are, like in on it, trying to, like, make it happen. That if one thing slips, it's like.

[Paul Verzy]

One of my friends was like, who I always talk to. I would call and like two days leading up, and he would go, hey, I'm sorry, I gotta run. I'm at my parents. And it was just weird. And he was so afraid to fuck it up that, like. So he went up to me. He's like, I was so terrified. And I'm so sorry that I was doing this to you. He didn't even want to talk to me. He was like. It hurt me. He didn't want to talk to me. Cause he didn't want to be the one. Cause if you're the one, that's bad.

[Alex]

That's funny, though. Um, let's see. I'm gonna jump through some of these thicker ones. Do you like road trips?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, sometimes. I mean, as a comic, it's hard to, like, love them just because we're always traveling on the road. We're always in like a car service or an airplane or an airport. So I guess with, like, loved ones for a vacation, it's okay. But I travel so much that I would say I don't need it.

[Alex]

You'd rather fly?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Alex]

Chocolate or vanilla?

[Paul Verzy]

Chocolate.

[Alex]

Cake or pie?

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, God. That's the hardest one so far. Because, I mean, a good slice of pie is no joke.

[Alex]

What's your favorite slice of pie?

[Paul Verzy]

I mean, you know, warm apples. Crazy. If you don't like warm apple with a scoop of vanilla, you're. I've had. But I've had cherry pie. That was good. What a pecan. Pecan pie is fucking nuts. But I like white cake. You know what? Gun to my head. If you put a gun in my. In my mouth, I mean, that's. That's. I know that's aggressive. I don't. There's never gonna be like, cake or. But like, there's like. That's not even a. Would ever be a thing. But if you. If I had to choose gun in my mouth, I would say pie. I mean, I'm just getting my cake. Cake. White cake.

[Alex]

So we went from all these crazy pies to gun in your mouth, white cake.

[Paul Verzy]

Gun to my head. Cake. Because I think cake, you could get ice cream. You could get like the vanilla with the chocolate frosting, or you could go double vanilla. You could go light inside and outside, which is really good. So gun to my head, I'd say cake, but it's a close. It's close.

[Alex]

That was a wild question.

[Paul Verzy]

That was. No, that was the toughest one you gave me. That was the toughest one for sure.

[Alex]

High five or fist bump?

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, man. I always say fist bump. Now it's 2020. You know, like a high five is. That's a little.

[Alex]

I tried to give my boyfriend a high five the other day.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It didn't go through. His restaurant had his five year opening in Dallas. And so he was like telling me, he's like, today is five years that my restaurant's been open in Dallas. And I was like, fucking good job, dude. And like, I went to give him a high five and I meant it.

[Paul Verzy]

But no kiss. Like.

[Alex]

But that's the thing is I wanted. Like, it's a restaurant opening, so I.

[Paul Verzy]

Was like, that's cool. I get it.

[Alex]

You know, I was like really trying to congratulate him.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And he went like this, like he was like kind of gonna.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then reeled it back and looked at me like, what the fuck?

[Paul Verzy]

That's great.

[Alex]

Like, we're not roommates.

[Paul Verzy]

That's. I love. I like this guy, he put his.

[Alex]

Hand out and he just looked at me. He's like, no.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. He's like, you're pregnant. What the fuck are you.

[Alex]

Why are high fiving me? And I. Even again, it was like my dad. Dad walking in when I was twerking. I just apologized. I was like, I'm sorry. I don't.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, he's like, I put a baby in there. Like, what the high five. I would say, but I think there's a place to high five. Like if you're two. If two friends over at a game.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

A home run. Right. You'll lean over, high five. It would be weird to do that, so. But I think like in a normal engagement, I would just kind of do that. Or the regular Dapper up.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Makes sense. Dine in or delivery?

[Paul Verzy]

You mean dine out or delivery?

[Alex]

I guess so.

[Paul Verzy]

Well, no, cuz you mean like, that's.

[Alex]

Kind of like the same. Would you rather eat in or get something delivered?

[Paul Verzy]

Man, it really depends on my mood that day. That's a tough one. I like going out, but I would say. Yeah, I would say restaurant. I'd say go out.

[Alex]

Same.

[Paul Verzy]

I would say go. I do love a. Hey, you want to just sit in and. But I think at the end of the day, like, if everybody's feeling well, go out, go sit down and go to a restaurant.

[Alex]

Food isn't the same when you get it to go.

[Paul Verzy]

Right.

[Alex]

And no matter what you do, if you put it in the oven or in the air fryer or in the microwave, it's never the same.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, I would say go out.

[Alex]

I'm like, I'm a dine in person.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Let's see. I'm gonna ask you three more and then I'm gonna go back to my questions over here.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay.

[Alex]

Theme park or water park?

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, man. Damn. This is like the cake or pie. I would say gun to your head. Gun to my head. Theme park or water park? I think you'd have to go theme. I'd have to go theme. Just. Cause water. You only really have one option. You're getting wet. There's different ways to get wet. You're going in a pool, you're sliding down something. I think a theme park you can go on like either. Like a virtual thing with something on Your head. Or you could go on a roller coaster. I would say theme Gun to my head. Gun to your head. See, this is the thing about gun to your head or gun in your mouth. It's there. You have to. You have to. It makes it quicker.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

You get to it.

[Alex]

Yeah, you right? Yeah. So gun to your head. Mustard or ketchup?

[Paul Verzy]

Fuck, man. Gun to my head. Mustard or ketchup? I think I use mustard. Much, much less, but I. Mustard. It's mustard. I use it less. No, listen. I use it less, but I like it like.

[Alex]

You like it more.

[Paul Verzy]

I use it less because. And ketchup is really filled with sugar. Mustard.

[Alex]

Can we please make a compilation of all of these? This is so funny. Oh, man. Which was the last one that I want to ask you, man? I've got, like, two more. I'm gonna ask you two more.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Alex]

Pancakes or waffles?

[Paul Verzy]

Pancakes.

[Alex]

Okay. That was too easy. Sunglasses or hats?

[Paul Verzy]

Sunglasses.

[Alex]

This is like, deal or no deal? It's, like, so serious.

[Paul Verzy]

Am I like, why do guests not take it like this? Like, do other guests?

[Alex]

This has been the best tasting menu ever.

[Paul Verzy]

That's what the I'm here for.

[Alex]

Gun to your head.

[Paul Verzy]

I like these.

[Alex]

Suit and tie or pajamas all day?

[Paul Verzy]

Suit and tie.

[Alex]

Really?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Why?

[Paul Verzy]

Pajamas is like, you know, what am I, a fucking 12? You know, it's like, you know, my son and, you know, like, 15 year olds, you know, they go to high school now and, like, they'll go in, like, Uggs and crocs and pajama bottles.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah. Like, super casual.

[Paul Verzy]

Like, it's so casual now in these high schools and junior high schools that they wear, like, pajama pants and like, just like. Like you'd go to bed. No, I'm a grown man. I got a suit and suit and tie.

[Alex]

Suit and tie, yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Plus, I'm not a pajama. Like, I can't go to. You can go to bed in pants, and I can't do that.

[Alex]

That's true.

[Paul Verzy]

Right.

[Alex]

Maybe because I'm pregnant. I'm just like, Right.

[Paul Verzy]

You're in a different. You're in a different mental state of comfort right now.

[Alex]

That's what it is.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because I do love dressing up.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

That's one reason why I like to always do my podcast. I'm like, yes.

[Paul Verzy]

Get to look.

[Alex]

I get to dress up. I get to do my makeup and my hair, and it's always like kind of. Kind of a sweet thing. But the minute I go home, it's off with everything. It's over. Yeah, it's makeup off, hair up, pajamas, Harry Potter.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, that does sound incredible.

[Alex]

That's me. Okay, my dessert question.

[Paul Verzy]

Dessert.

[Alex]

Like, so through this menu, we have a tasting menu, and we have a dessert menu and different things.

[Paul Verzy]

So we're not talking. Like, when you said dessert, I was like, thinking rainbow cookies.

[Alex]

Oh, no, that's a category on this show.

[Paul Verzy]

Gotcha.

[Alex]

So it's the last question, but there's two. So what do you do to cheer someone up when they're feeling down?

[Paul Verzy]

I would say take them out. I would take somebody. Take somebody out, get their mind off of something. Now, you talk about anybody. Like, my kids, my wife, or we.

[Alex]

Could get specific, but in general, like a friend. Let's go with, like, just a bro. Friend of yours.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like your best friend is having a bad day.

[Paul Verzy]

I would say take them out. We'd probably go to, like, a. Like, a cool cigar lounge where we could get a drink, smoke a cigar, watch the game, get our mind off shit, talk sports, but also talk about the problem that that individual is having just to get him away from it and to just kind of like. I feel like one thing that I do good as a friend and I think my friends would admit, would say this, is that I'm like, I'm there for you. Like, if you want to talk about what's going on in your life, if you want to talk about the problem. Because I've been through a lot of shit when I was younger, so I'm like, I'm there. So I would go somewhere where they could air it out and be open about it and just help them with that. So I would say, like, a drink, a cool bar, a cigar lounge or some shit like that. Take them to and obviously pay. You know, you gotta pay.

[Alex]

You sound. You seem like the kind of person that has, like, a lot of really close friends.

[Paul Verzy]

I'm very. I have a very small circle.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Even in comedy, like, I'm cool with everybody, but I'm not. Like, you're not coming to my house at Christmas.

[Alex]

You know what I mean?

[Paul Verzy]

Like, it takes a certain. Like, I have, like, five or six really dear friends.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

You know, But I like to go in the clubs, do my thing, and go home and be with my kids. So that's kind of how I am.

[Alex]

Yeah. What is the sweetest thing you've ever done for a significant other?

[Paul Verzy]

The sweetest thing. I mean, I surprised my wife with a trip to Jamaica.

[Alex]

Oh, that's cool.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, I just. I was like, it's your Birthday. We're gonna go to Jamaica and we're gonna fly first class, and we're gonna stay at a sick resort, and we're gonna do it for four days. And you don't have to think about anything but chilling and drinking and enjoying it. And she was like, oh, shit. And then we got into a fight. Cause she got me, like, a fucking sweatshirt for my birthday.

[Alex]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, she went to fucking Dick Sporting Goods and shit and got me, like, a. And I took her to fucking Montego Bay. But yes.

[Alex]

You know how they say, like, what goes around comes around. It needs to come the fuck?

[Paul Verzy]

No, but I. I will say she did. She crushed it with. She's taken me. I gotta say, she got. If she hears that, she can be like, fuck. She has taken me on vacations, and she's really crushed it with parties.

[Alex]

She did the surprise party.

[Paul Verzy]

The surprise party was above and beyond. And she has taken me to vacations before. But we got into a fight once, because I did that. And then, like a dick, I threw it in the face. I was like, montego Bay sweatshirt. And it turned into a whole thing. So, yeah, that was kind of on me.

[Alex]

I feel that. Yeah, I did. I've told this story before, so I won't go, like, too far into this one.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But the worst gift exchange I ever did is I bought this guy that I was dating. He loved coffee.

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, I thought you said a car.

[Alex]

I was like, no, no, I'm nice.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But I'm not that nice. Yeah, I bought him a coffee machine, but it was like a Breville. Like, big, nice one. It was, like, 1500 bucks.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And he had, like, a shitty coffee machine. So I, like, got him this really nice coffee machine. I dated him for, like, a year.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Alex]

So I got him this coffee machine. And I'm not kidding. This was Christmas. I was like, you open your gift first. And then his gift to me was a coffee mug.

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, shit.

[Alex]

That was handmade. It had no handle on it, so when you touched it, it was so hot you couldn't hold it.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And it was handmade by a model that he met on Instagram. Oh, yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay. Yeah.

[Alex]

Very shortly after that.

[Paul Verzy]

That was it.

[Alex]

That was it.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I was like, yeah. Wait a second.

[Paul Verzy]

That reminds me. Did you see that commercial where, like, the guy got his wife, like, a truck or some shit? Or, like, one got a truck and the other one whistled and a dog came out and it was like. It was. It was a pickup truck versus, like, a puppy. And I was Just like, what the fuck? This is responsibility. This thing's gonna be shitting everywhere. This guy got, like, a raptor or whatever. I was like, but that. Yeah. No, I do think you could tell in a relationship if, like, if. Cause the worst thing in a relationship is somebody selfish, right? If somebody is selfish and you could find that out early. And even little gifts, like. Cause it's not about the gift, right? It's not about the.

[Alex]

Yeah, it's not about the action.

[Paul Verzy]

It's about the reason, right? So, like, you could see how somebody behaves and maneuvers with little things, and you go, oh, that's them in a nutshell. And I think that shit like that is red flags for sure.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

How did you propose to your wife?

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, my God. Dude, you didn't see the bit?

[Alex]

No.

[Paul Verzy]

Is this a setup or.

[Alex]

No, it's not a setup. I haven't seen the bit.

[Paul Verzy]

Okay, well, this is.

[Alex]

But do the bit.

[Paul Verzy]

You guys are. You guys are gonna love it because it's nuts, and it's. It's ridiculous. And it was a big part of my. For people want me to tell it sometimes, so. So I was never more nervous in my life, right? Never more nervous. It's 100. True story. So we go to a restaurant. I spent a lot of money on the ring, right? It was, you know, I. I. I went big, and I was nervous, and I. I wore these socks up to my knees, and then I rolled up the sock. I had the. I had the thing in my sock in my leg, right? And I'm. I mean, I'm so nervous going into. Right? Like, I was like. I couldn't even be, like, I'm a standup man. I've gotten in front of hundreds and thousands of people. But, like, this was a level of nerve. And I'm looking around. I kept looking around like I was gonna, like, rob the place. I kept looking. Or she was. She was, like, really, like, I was on edge, and. And it was all weird, and I'm trying to think about how to do it. And it was a really nice restaurant, but they had these little TVs up in the corner, and it was like. It had, like, an ESPN thing on, but it was, like, a nice, elegant restaurant, but they had these little TVs with, like, some sports on, highlights or whatever. And we're sitting there, and I'm looking around how to do it, and then I'm like, all right, let me get creative. I'm like, what if I. What if I put it in a bread basket right? And she takes bread and then sees it. But then I saw like the little Mexican dudes, they kept taking the bread baskets. And I'm like, I don't want to have them take it.

[Alex]

You know what I mean?

[Paul Verzy]

So I'm like, shit, what should I do? And I just go, paul, you gotta go to the bathroom and really regroup because this is fucking nuts. I go, this is. This is like. I mean, I was panicking, Lauren. I was panicking. So I go to the bathroom and I go, listen, dick, she's gonna say, yes, stop this, okay? Go out there, confident like a fucking man, and give her the ring and do it right? And I get out there, I'm like, yeah. And as soon as I sit back down, all that courage that I just got in the bathroom, right out the window, I'm back. I'm back to square one, right? So I look up at the TV and there is highlights of a Dodgers game, okay? Now, there was a outfielder on the Dodgers named Sean Green. And one day he hits four home runs in a game. And the highlights of that four home runs in a game is like. It's like a pitcher pitching a perfect game. It's very rare. And I'm just watching it, so nervous and I'm just like, oh, I go, this guy. You got four home runs in one game. And my wife goes, oh, that's all. And then my mind goes, now, do it now. And I take it out and I just go, not as awesome as this. And I put it down and I fucking lean back. I leaned back like I just hit a game winning three pointer. I go, not as awesome as this. And I went like that. And she just goes, what? And I just started describing the clarity. I didn't even get on a knee. I'm like, yeah, that shit is the best. There's nothing that's like a top notch. There's no, no inclusions in that. And she was like, what? And she's like, you know, you gotta get on a knee. And then like delayed. I got on a knee. The worst ever. The worst ever. That's a true story. That's a true story.

[Alex]

Did she cry? Was she excited? Was she.

[Paul Verzy]

No, she was probably disappointed in a way. She was fucking. Really? I said, not as awesome as this and put it down like it was the dopest shit any dude could ever say. And it was the opposite of that.

[Alex]

It was like your mic dropped.

[Paul Verzy]

It was like my mic drop. Like, not as awesome as this. And then I was like, you know how much that caught, like that was fucking. That's like the dopest ring. Like nobody my age gets shit like that. And then she's like, you know, you gotta get on a knee, right? And I was like, yeah, of course. And then I did. And then that was it. That was awkward.

[Alex]

Oh my God, that's so funny.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, it's true. True story.

[Alex]

That's amazing. How long did you date her before you proposed?

[Paul Verzy]

Four years.

[Alex]

Okay, so it was a good amount of time.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, we lived together, I think for like 2 ish. 2 and a half? Something like that, yeah.

[Alex]

So you knew she was gonna say yes?

[Paul Verzy]

I knew she was gonna say yes. But it's still nerve wracking. It's just the whole process of it is nerve wracking. Like you gotta. You gotta take to the. You know, you gotta take her to the place that you want to do it. You gotta kind of think about how to do it and. Yeah, and then, and then just the whole act of like, hey, you know, we bit, you know, it's like, how awesome is this? Not as awesome as this.

[Alex]

Not as awesome as this.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, so, yeah, I mean, listen, it was bad, but it's a story.

[Alex]

No, I think it's great. I love it. It's funny. It's you.

[Paul Verzy]

It's definitely me.

[Alex]

It's so you.

[Paul Verzy]

It's me for sure.

[Alex]

So did you get on one knee?

[Paul Verzy]

I did.

[Alex]

So you just got up and got on one knee and you were in the restaurant?

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, we're in the restaurant. I got on one knee yesterday.

[Alex]

Were people clapping?

[Paul Verzy]

No. Cause it was like we were like in the corner and there was some people over there. And like after her initial shock, I just got on the knee and did it. So it was like a quick thing. There wasn't a lot of people there to see it.

[Alex]

Okay, cool.

[Paul Verzy]

That's the other thing too. Like making a spectacle of it is. Is nuts to me, I think.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

You know.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Like that, that'd be a weird. Like if the whole restaurant was packed and everybody started clapping, that would be. Yeah, that'd be hard.

[Alex]

What was the restaurant?

[Paul Verzy]

It's not there anymore. It was called Ecclese. It was a restaurant in White Plains, New York that was an Italian. An Italian restaurant. Very, very nice. Yeah. Good, Great food. It's not there anymore, but yeah. Yeah.

[Alex]

Well, awesome. This has been such a fun show.

[Paul Verzy]

Oh, thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

[Alex]

I feel like we should title it Paul Verzy Gun to my Head or Paul Versy. Yeah, Verzy Vizy. I told you in the beginning. You kept saying no.

[Paul Verzy]

No. That's why. No, I'm not busting your chops. That's why I said it.

[Alex]

Damn it. Yeah.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah. No, but thank you for having me on. Thank you for plugging the special. Thank. This has been a lot of fun. I can do those one word things all I could. Just come on and do that.

[Alex]

The tasting menu.

[Paul Verzy]

That. That was insane.

[Alex]

I'm glad we did that because so often I don't do that and I always want to.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Alex]

Yeah. You did great.

[Paul Verzy]

Thank you.

[Alex]

Yeah. So where can people find you?

[Paul Verzy]

Paul Verzy is my handle. Alversy V I R Z I the new special reasonable man on YouTube right now. Guys, go to my YouTube and just hit the subscribe button. I have two other specials. They might be going some other places, but my Netflix special and my Comedy Central special will also eventually be on my YouTube. So you can see them all there. Datespaulverzy.com Bone to pick podcast with Bobby Kelly. The Verzi Effect. There you go.

[Alex]

That's great.

[Paul Verzy]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Well, thank you so much.

[Paul Verzy]

Thank you for having me, guys.

[Alex]

Thank you for tuning in to another episode of First Date. We'll see you next time. First Date. Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? First Date. I can't wait. You told your mom about me? Just stay ready. Delete my number. First date, your parents are your roommates. First Date.