Post-Love Clarity w/ Joe DeRosa | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

First Date with Lauren Compton: Post-Love Clarity with Joe DeRosa

Host: YMH Studios
Guest: Joe DeRosa
Release Date: August 5, 2025

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Introduction

In this emotionally charged episode of First Date with Lauren Compton, comedian and content creator Joe DeRosa joins host Lauren Compton to delve deep into his personal experiences with love, heartbreak, and self-discovery. Unlike previous episodes that focus on light-hearted first-date antics, this conversation takes a profound turn as Joe opens up about his first serious relationship and the subsequent breakup that reshaped his perspective on dating and life.

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Joe's New Comedy Special

The episode kicks off with Lauren acknowledging Joe's new special, "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden," available on his YouTube channel (@00:02). Joe humorously comments on the challenges of navigating YouTube's vast landscape, ensuring fans know where to find his content.

“Yes, and my YouTube is oderosacomedy. Cause nobody can find anything anymore unless you tell them exactly where it is.” – Joe DeRosa [00:02]

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Personal Challenges and Allergies

As the conversation progresses, Joe shares some personal struggles, including his recent development of a milk allergy and his battle with nut sensitivities. These health issues have significantly impacted his lifestyle and dietary habits.

“So, I can’t have milk. I can’t have milk chocolate. I can eat that for some reason, and it won’t bother me, but I can’t eat a Snickers bar. My throat gets so itchy.” – Joe DeRosa [05:05]

Joe explains how these allergies have forced him to avoid many of his favorite foods, complicating social situations and everyday enjoyment.

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The Breakup and Its Aftermath

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Joe's first serious relationship and its subsequent end. He reflects on how meeting someone special later in life changed his long-held bachelor mindset.

“This was the first person I truly loved. Truly loved. And I was. I’m 47. It was late for me to experience this for the first time.” – Joe DeRosa [14:43]

Joe describes the mutual nature of the breakup, characterized by emotional vulnerability and a shared understanding that the relationship wasn't sustainable despite its depth.

“We were both devastating. It was one of those breakups where we were both crying a lot, but we were both saying to each other, we can’t do this anymore. It’s not working.” – Joe DeRosa [12:03]

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Impact on Joe's Perspective on Dating

The relationship profoundly altered Joe's approach to dating. He discusses moving from a casual, bachelor lifestyle to a more intentional and time-conscious approach to relationships.

“It altered my perspective and it has put me into a very all or nothing headspace.” – Joe DeRosa [18:38]

Joe emphasizes the importance of investing time and emotional energy into meaningful connections rather than fleeting interactions.

“I had to consider the value of time. There's no wasting time on something that doesn’t have potential.” – Joe DeRosa [22:18]

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Views on Monogamy and Soulmates

Joe's experiences have also influenced his thoughts on monogamy and finding a soulmate. He expresses a desire for deeper, more authentic connections, contrasting his previous views.

“I would like to be with somebody that is experimental. Transparent and open.” – Joe DeRosa [22:25]

He elaborates on the concept of soulmates, describing a connection where two people can be both best friends and romantic partners.

“It’s like, when you see someone walk into a room, and every time you see them, you see them for the first time.” – Joe DeRosa [24:04]

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Insecurities and Personal Growth

During the episode, both Joe and Lauren discuss their insecurities shaped by past experiences—Joe through his adoption and Lauren through repeated instances of being cheated on.

“I have abandonment issues because of my adoption.” – Joe DeRosa [32:30]

“Every relationship that hasn’t worked out has 95% been because the person has cheated on me. That makes me pretty insecure.” – Lauren Compton [36:05]

They explore how these insecurities influence their relationships and interactions with others, emphasizing the importance of understanding and overcoming personal barriers.

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Navigating Public Perceptions and Societal Prejudices

Joe addresses societal prejudices related to looks and career, particularly how being in the entertainment industry can lead to misconceptions about one's personal struggles.

“Society positions us in a certain way, and we have to fight to get out of that if we don't like it.” – Joe DeRosa [40:10]

He discusses the stereotype that comedians or attractive individuals don’t face real-life challenges, debunking this notion by sharing his own experiences of stress and emotional turmoil.

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Sweet Gestures and Mutual Support

Despite the challenges, Joe reminisces about the sweet gestures between him and his ex-girlfriend, highlighting moments of genuine care and support.

“She was at my house on Valentine's Day... she was being cute and funny, like, 'Isn't it funny that I got you candy and flowers?'" – Joe DeRosa [52:45]

He also recalls how she supported him during times of illness, reinforcing the depth of their bond.

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Conclusion and Reflection

As the episode wraps up, Lauren and Joe reflect on the transformative nature of Joe's relationship and the lessons learned. Joe appreciates the vulnerability shared during the conversation, finding it cathartic and enlightening.

“I loved it. I enjoy talking about real stuff, getting a whole new side of you. It’s such a different side compared to the first time you were on this show.” – Lauren Compton [45:36]

Joe expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share his story, acknowledging the growth that came from his experiences.

“I loved it too. I like to talk about real stuff, getting a whole new side of you.” – Joe DeRosa [45:37]

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Notable Quotes

• “This was the first person I truly loved. Truly loved.” – Joe DeRosa [14:43]
• “If it's not love, I'm not doing.” – Joe DeRosa [18:38]
• “I had to consider the value of time. There's no wasting time on something that doesn’t have potential.” – Joe DeRosa [22:18]
• “Society positions us in a certain way, and we have to fight to get out of that if we don't like it.” – Joe DeRosa [40:10]
• “She was being cute and funny, like, 'Isn't it funny that I got you candy and flowers?'" – Joe DeRosa [52:45]

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Final Thoughts

This episode stands out as a heartfelt exploration of personal growth, love, and the complexities of modern relationships. Joe DeRosa's candidness offers listeners a deeper understanding of the emotional journeys that often lie beneath the surface of public personas. Lauren Compton skillfully navigates the conversation, creating a space where vulnerability leads to meaningful insights and shared human experiences.

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Listen to the full episode here.

Transcript

[Lauren]

Oh, you have a new special.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

Oh, I've seen it. Not your special, but I've seen you promote it.

[Joe DeRosa]

Uh huh. Okay.

[Lauren]

I'm so excited to see you tonight. First date, baby. First date. I can't wait. First date. And we're back to another first date, but this time it's a second date with one of my favorites. Why are you looking like that?

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm letting you do the intro. I'm just waiting for you to introduce me.

[Lauren]

He has a new special out. It's called I never promised you'd a rose garden. It's on his YouTube channel now. Give it up for Joe DeRosa.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes, and my YouTube is oderosacomedy. Cause nobody can find anything anymore unless you tell them exactly where it is.

[Lauren]

Well, YouTube is a vast place.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. So that's the YouTube. Thank you for plugging that. I appreciate it.

[Lauren]

Of course.

[Joe DeRosa]

How are you doing?

[Lauren]

I'm good, how are you?

[Joe DeRosa]

I ate a lot before I got here.

[Lauren]

Did you bring. What is that?

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm gonna tell you, but not yet. No. I went and met Adam Eget and we ate. We went to Little Deli and we each ate a giant hoagie and a piece of meatball pizza each. And I'm a little sedated, so I'm trying to get my energy up.

[Lauren]

Did you have any alcohol?

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, no, no.

[Lauren]

This is just. You full?

[Joe DeRosa]

This was just a full lunch. But I was thinking about it on the way over here and I was like, I'm a little tired. But I was like, you know what? If. If we were on a real date, this is what I would have done before the date. Just to show up to even the field.

[Lauren]

What?

[Joe DeRosa]

No. Because you're too hot of a chick. So if I showed up all like, I'm full of energy and feeling good, it would make me look.

[Lauren]

Then I might think you like me.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, well, I look too desperate. I gotta show up like, yeah, whatever, lady. Let's go.

[Lauren]

No, no, I would love that. You show up with all this energy and you're like excited, excited to see me.

[Joe DeRosa]

I know, I'm just kidding. I will be fine. Energy wise. This is a cookie that I was gonna share with you.

[Lauren]

Do you even want it?

[Joe DeRosa]

I brought it for us.

[Lauren]

But you're full on the date. I won't say no to a cookie, but if you're full and sedated, full.

[Joe DeRosa]

Has never stopped me from continuing to eat.

[Lauren]

Break me off a piece.

[Joe DeRosa]

No. So I got this. This just looked good at the place. Again, Little Deli, very Good. If you're ever up that way.

[Lauren]

Where is Little Deli?

[Joe DeRosa]

Wow, it's a bit north.

[Lauren]

Oh, wait. What kind of nuts are those?

[Joe DeRosa]

That? I don't know. Are you allergic?

[Lauren]

Hold on. If they're walnuts or pecans, I am.

[Joe DeRosa]

Hold on, let me see. This is a flourless brownie cookie. And she said the whole point of it is it sort of emulates the corners of the brownie panel. You know, where it gets, like, crunchy.

[Lauren]

Yeah, those are walnuts. I have to eat a part that doesn't. It doesn't have walnuts, cookie.

[Joe DeRosa]

I don't know how allergic are you? Is this, like, peanut allergy where you'll, like, die and shit?

[Lauren]

No.

[Joe DeRosa]

You sure?

[Lauren]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, break off that at piece there. It looks like. It looks nut free, but you'll just get, like.

[Lauren]

Oh, wow, it's so soft.

[Joe DeRosa]

You'll just get, like, itchy. Please really inspect it.

[Lauren]

Oh, man, there's walnuts in it.

[Joe DeRosa]

Joe.

[Lauren]

I can't eat that.

[Joe DeRosa]

Wait, what about this piece?

[Lauren]

No, look, it's in it.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, I know, but hold on. I think this is nut free. No, no, it's all. There's so much.

[Lauren]

There's so many walnuts.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm not crazy that there's a lot of walnuts in it either. Well, I'm just gonna taste it. I don't really.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's a shame that you can't have. That looks good.

[Lauren]

So good.

[Joe DeRosa]

You guys want a cookie?

[Lauren]

I wish I could.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, my God. It literally does taste like.

[Lauren]

It looks so good. I will get an ulcer.

[Joe DeRosa]

An ulcer.

[Lauren]

Oh, I will get lots of little ulcers.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, your mouth.

[Lauren]

In my mouth. I can't have regular toothpaste. Like, I have to have Marvis, otherwise my mouth will break out and I can't have pecans or walnuts. There's a three. The only three things in this world I can't have. And it's, like, horrible.

[Joe DeRosa]

What's Marvis?

[Lauren]

Marvis Toothpaste. It doesn't have some kind of substance in it that all other toothpaste has in it. I don't even know. I don't even know.

[Joe DeRosa]

I can't have. And it's not lactose intolerance. I have a milk allergy now that I developed as I got older.

[Lauren]

Really?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And it's something with. I've looked it up because weirdly, I thought it was lactose intolerance that I developed. And then I had almond milk and I got sick in the same way from it. And I was like, wait, how is that possible? And I looked it up, and it said there's a chemical in the way milk is processed that can cause you to be allergic to milk. And almond milk is often processed with the same chemical.

[Lauren]

Really?

[Joe DeRosa]

So it's not the dairy you're reacting to, it's this thing in the milk. So I can't have milk. I can't have milk chocolate. I can eat that for some reason, and it won't bother me, but I can't eat a Snickers bar. My throat gets so itchy. Deep inner ear itch.

[Lauren]

Ooh, that's the worst.

[Joe DeRosa]

And then if I have enough of it, meaning a few mouthfuls, I'll puke. It's like it sits in my stomach and it's like, well, shit, it's. It sucks.

[Lauren]

Well, this. It, like, the. The nut thing sucks for me too, because so many desserts are made with pecans or walnuts. It would. It would shock you. Like, English toffee is made with pecans. Carrot cake is made with either walnuts or pecans or whatever.

[Joe DeRosa]

You're right. I never realized that.

[Lauren]

These kinds of cookies, it's unbelievable.

[Joe DeRosa]

A lot of brownies.

[Lauren]

A lot of brownies. My favorite sheet cake is made with, like, walnuts.

[Joe DeRosa]

What's your favorite sheet cake?

[Lauren]

It's just a brownie sheet cake.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, man, that sucks.

[Lauren]

It's. They're in everything.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. I don't.

[Lauren]

Salads.

[Joe DeRosa]

I won't eat a salad that has nuts in it.

[Lauren]

Like, you know, like the. They're like apple walnut vinegar.

[Joe DeRosa]

That salad is a horse's mint. It's a horse's ass salad anyway.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

I can't stand that fruit in a salad. Makes me feel.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Like it makes. I can tolerate apple, maybe, but when somebody's like, oh, my God, they have the best salad as strawberries, I want to spit on them. I'm like, it's just disgusting. It's disgusting to put fruit and salad. I do prefer nutless desserts. I like peanut butter and stuff, but, like, I don't. I just don't think, like, walnuts and walnuts as a nut. They don't have much flavor. I don't know.

[Lauren]

They don't.

[Joe DeRosa]

They almost taste, like, watery or something.

[Lauren]

They're boring. It's a boring ass nut. Like, why not put something that does have flavor and they don't. Walnuts don't even have a good crunch. They're like a soggy nut.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's what I'm saying. It's like, watery, right?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's a juicy.

[Lauren]

I don't miss it.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, no, no.

[Lauren]

And they ruined shit for me.

[Joe DeRosa]

That was one of the positives. Sorry. I ate a lot of salami.

[Lauren]

What a weird thing to say.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was so much salami. You should have seen the amount of salami. I can tell a lot of ham. It was really good though. No, that was one of the bonuses when I developed the milk allergy was because one of the things I couldn't have anymore was ice cream. So I just was like, well, you know, once in a while I'll find dairy free ice cream and whatever, but I'm not going to seek it out. And it's not a thing that's going to be readily available. It helped just kind of wipe clear a food group.

[Lauren]

What about cheeses?

[Joe DeRosa]

Most cheeses I'm fine because it's. I don't know. Again, it's got to do with the processing. So maybe because cheese is aged like this thing disappears, but certain cheeses will do it and I never know when interesting. So I'll remember cheese that I can have where I'm like, I have had that brand. I know I'm fine with it. But sometimes, yeah, I'll try a new. I'll go to a diner and get a cheese omelet or something and all of a sudden my throat itches and I can't eat it.

[Lauren]

Shit. Yeah, it kind of sucks my allergy. This is the last time I'll almost spent 10 minutes talking about our allergies. But it's all right. My allergy doesn't show up until the next day. So like I could enjoy that cookie today and I'd be like, damn, that was good. But then tomorrow and for like a week I would supper.

[Joe DeRosa]

God, the ulcer thing, I've never heard of that.

[Lauren]

I don't know, I've never even met anyone that has the same thing. But anytime, even just a little bit, even the oils of the nut, if it's like. If it's even in there.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, well, the peanut allergy is the worst.

[Lauren]

It's sad.

[Joe DeRosa]

The people like literally it's like airborne. They'll die. Like you can't serve peanuts on the airplane. The person will die.

[Lauren]

I know there's. Some of them are really crazy.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, it's wild.

[Lauren]

Well, I have some follow up questions. This is our second date. So last time you were here you were a bachelor. Are you still a bachelor?

[Joe DeRosa]

Wow. You know what? I didn't even think we. Despite the subject matter of the podcast and having done it a Couple times now. Because I did one or two of the lives with you, too. I didn't even think that we. We were going to talk about this. I've been through a full relationship and breakup since I last saw you.

[Lauren]

No way.

[Joe DeRosa]

And it started. It started the night that we did the Creek and Cave live podcast with me and Chris DiStefano.

[Lauren]

You're welcome.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. That was, like the. That was the fourth time I'd ever hung out with her. But that was the first night we ever, like, kissed. And it became, like, romantic, really, that night.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Joe DeRosa]

Isn't that crazy?

[Lauren]

That's awesome.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But it ended.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. Yeah. It's over. Yeah.

[Lauren]

How long has it been over?

[Joe DeRosa]

A few weeks. I don't. Maybe a few weeks. At the time of this recording.

[Lauren]

Can I ask what happened?

[Joe DeRosa]

We had a great time, but we just. I think we just hit a place of incompatibility where it just wasn't going to work for different reasons. I think if you wrote it all down on paper, the pro list would have far outweighed the con list. Absolutely. It was just like the con. The one or two cons were so robust because they had to do with compatibility that they would consistently shatter all the pros or throw the pros off course. It was tough. She was a great person. Is. She's not dead.

[Lauren]

I was just about to say, why are we talking about her like she died?

[Joe DeRosa]

She was murdered shortly after we stopped dating. No, no, no. She's. I'm kidding. She's. She's. She's a good person, and I hope that she remains to think I am as well. But it just, you know, it just didn't work.

[Lauren]

Did you tell her that these things were, like, ruining it?

[Joe DeRosa]

She told me.

[Lauren]

Oh, did she break up with you?

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, no. It was a very mutual thing. I think it was a weird breakup because we were both devastated. It was one of those breakups where we were both crying a lot, but we were both saying to each other, we can't do this anymore. It's not working. But let's try to remain on good terms and be friends. But I think we both also kind of realized. I remember the last real conversation we had was at the end of the call. I said, I love you. I will miss you. And now I'm gonna give you your space because you have to, right?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And we both, I think, hung up, kind of thinking, well, we'll text. And, you know. And we just didn't.

[Lauren]

So you haven't heard from her?

[Joe DeRosa]

We interacted twice since Then once, because I ran into her, and then another time, I sent her a text, something private that she was on my mind. And I was like, I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and that whatever, I hope all is well. But that was it, because I think we kind of knew, like, we had gone from being nervous to date because we were both comics, to then saying, okay, let's fuck it. Let's just date, to then being like, okay, let's go out. But then breaking up and then trying to go out again, and then breaking up and then being like, okay, maybe the going out part's the problem, and we need to just have space. And we tried every iteration of it. And I give her a lot of credit for being willing to try these different things. Things, because they're not easy, but you're trying. You know, we were both just trying to figure out, how can this work? Because we have so much fun together, and we laugh and there's such an intense connection, you know? And by the time, you know, we both said this, but by the end of it, it was like, I feel like we've been dating for, like, years, you know, like, and not in a bad way, but it just didn't. It just wasn't gonna work, at least at this time. And so, yeah, it was very mutual. But, yeah, it's hard. I mean, I'm not gonna sit here and play like the tough guy. It was very hard.

[Lauren]

Breakups suck sometimes.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's the first time I've ever. I had one or two women in my life that I said the words I love you to prior to this person. But when I was with this person, I realized I didn't really mean it. I thought I did with the other person, and I didn't. This was the first person I truly loved. Truly loved. And I was. I'm 47. It's, like, late. It was late for me to experience this for the first time. I've been on Lifelong Bachelor, and, you know, I've been on the. I'm on the road and stuff, and, you know, and it's funny, like, my friends, who obviously I talked to about my breakup ad fudge nauseum, you know, they'll be like, what happened this weekend? How was, you know, Lake Tahoe? Mean, any chicks? You know? And I'm like, no, I don't want to, man. Like, yeah, like, it's like. It, like, shifted me because I had never experienced that. I had never experienced true love, and I'd never experienced a connection both emotionally and physically, truly with another human being in this way. So it was, like. It was hard. The breakup was hard.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God. What the fuck went wrong? She had a dick. Like, what's going on?

[Joe DeRosa]

No, that would have been a nice bonus.

[Lauren]

I mean, she sounds so.

[Joe DeRosa]

Then we would have had something in common.

[Lauren]

Love. How long did it take you to tell her that you loved her?

[Joe DeRosa]

I remember the night. I don't know the timeframe of it, but I remember the night she was dropping me off at the mothership to do a spot. And I go, all right, well, I'll call you later. I love you. And then I was like. Like, it just slipped out.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I just. She's like, oh. Oh, okay. Bye. All right. And I had to, like, run on stage. I was running late, so I was, like, running upstairs, and I was like. I got up there, like, two minutes before I had to go on.

[Lauren]

Did you just think about it the.

[Joe DeRosa]

Whole time I went on stage and I was like, so, how's everybody? And I was like that. And the crowd started laughing. Cause they were like, what's going on with him?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I was like. I just blurted out I love you to my girlfriend in the car when she was driving off. Never said it before, so I'm a little fucked up about I don't know what's going on right now. And the crowd was laughing, and I just started talking about it, and it was funny. But.

[Lauren]

Well, I imagine people who follow, you know, that you've been a bachelor for so long, so that information is pretty. Pretty striking. That's brand new for you.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was. It was kind of. Yeah, it was kind of weird to, like, talk about it. Not. Not bad weird, just unique. Like, but it was. I've had this movie podcast called We'll See youe in hell for, like, 10 years. And, like. Like, I. I remember for the first time on there saying, like, I have a girlfriend, like. Cause I never. Yeah, you're, like, forever on there. For. For nine years. I talked on there about, like, being single and, like, dating and the ups and the downs and all that shit.

[Lauren]

Yeah. So now that you've had this experience.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

Does it change?

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, you're my rebound. This is. I'm looking at my watches.

[Lauren]

You're a good rebound.

[Joe DeRosa]

See how long it's been. You're a good rebound. I always like a rebound to be a married woman with a kid.

[Lauren]

Yeah. You know, I'm a safe place.

[Joe DeRosa]

I go the opposite with a rebound. A lot of people go, hey, let's go Frivolous. And fun. On this rebound, I go, let's bring on more problems. Give me a married woman with a kid. Let's complicate it even more.

[Lauren]

Just get the whole kid and caboodle, you know.

[Joe DeRosa]

Wait, sorry, what was your question? Have I what?

[Lauren]

So now that you've had this experience.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Has it changed your perspective on dating?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes. Yeah, 100%.

[Lauren]

So are you. Do you think that now you want to meet? So, like, before your guys would call you when you would travel and you're like, I don't want to meet a girl. Now do you. Are you more interested and open and meeting other people, Women to try to.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. I mean, look, I don't want to sit here and fucking, you know, martyr myself and be like. And be like, I just. If it's not love, I'm not doing. I don't mean it like that. You know, I'm sure there will be flings and whatnot, but it altered my perspective and in. I feel like it's put me into a very all or nothing headspace. What I mean by that is if. If. If I'm. If I'm in a another city and there's a woman in another city that I'm attracted to and she's attracted to me and she were to say or we were to discuss, like, hey, dude, it is what it is. If you just want to have some fun tonight, let's hang out. Like, let's just have a good night. And if it was that candid, that sort of broken down and simplified, like, yeah, sure, that'd be fun. If it's not that I don't. I find myself losing interest in spending time with anybody that I might not be able to pursue a second or a third or whatever thing with. And that doesn't mean, like, I am only looking for a strong commitment. It just means like on the road, it's like, I don't know, like, when I was younger, it was fun to like meet a girl after the show or meet girls after the show, and then they take you out and you go out and you're flirting with this one, and then you start talking to that one and you spend your night flirting and like, hopefully eventually hooking up and whatever. It's a fun experience, you know, but like, it's a young man's game and. And it's just. I don't. I don't know. This. This experience changed it where it was like, it kind of. There's other stuff going on in my life too right now, like, personal stuff. With my family and stuff that are. That is like, sort of really magnifying to me, the importance of time. So I think, like, that's what I really took away from the relationship. And I mean that as a positive about my experience with her. She helped me understand the importance of time. And like, even though it didn't work out, I don't regret any of it. I had a wonderful experience with her. And even the hard times where we fought or something, those were beautiful. That was growth, you know, they're hard. But to me, to me, at least, it's things that you reflect on and you. And you grow from that. And I think, I guess what I'm getting at is now I look at things in the value of time. You have the simple, hey, we both get it. It's one night. It's a fling. Let's have some fun. That's very time sensitive. It's like, we're not wasting any time. We understand. And then the other side of that is, okay. If I'm gonna go spend an entire night with a woman and she's gonna do the same with me, I hope we're both thinking about like, well, there's a reason to invest in this right now and there's an interest in it potentially going further. And it's like, obviously if I go on a first date after a show in Reno, Nevada, there's probably not much of a chance of a follow up date. You know what I mean?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

So I don't know. I guess that's if that all makes sense.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So do you still think monogamy is insane?

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, I said that last time, right?

[Lauren]

Mm.

[Joe DeRosa]

I don't know. Yeah, I would like to be with somebody that is experimental. I don't know if I would be okay or not with either of us. I theoretically thought I would be okay with the idea of me or the other person sleeping with somebody else. I don't know if I would be good with that, but I definitely would like to be with. I mean, just transparent. I would like to be with somebody who's like a little experimental. Like, you know.

[Lauren]

Yeah. You know, but things change. And I think that's part of the beauty of dating and having different experiences with different people is like, right now you might think that having someone that's experimental would be nice, but then if you fall in love and things are working out, you might not want that later. Yeah, so.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, the thing that started to affect my take on monogamy was I had, obviously I have dated women that I have Been repeatedly attracted to. Like, it's. This is not a knock at any person I've ever spent time with, but there was an intensity I had with my girlfriend of attraction that I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I even thought it was, like, humanly possible. You know what I mean? I kind of thought, like, I don't know, that was different. That altered me in a way.

[Lauren]

What was it that captured you?

[Joe DeRosa]

It was the soul thing. It's like when you think a person's truly beautiful inside and out, when you see them walk into the room, It's a puke, what I'm about to say. But the room lights up, you know, like, you see this person come in, and every time you see them, you see them for the first time.

[Lauren]

I like this version of Joe.

[Joe DeRosa]

Thank you.

[Lauren]

This is a great Joe.

[Joe DeRosa]

Thank you. Well, it only took the shattering of my heart and soul to get here, but yay. But, yeah, when you see them, it's. You know what I mean? It's. There's an illumination, but I think that comes from. Obviously, it starts with physical. It begins there the first time you meet them, the second, third, fourth, fifth time you see them. You know, you go on a handful of dates with somebody and they show up and they're hot to you and, you know, into whoever else, but. And you're like. And so at first, it's just like, wow, she's hot, or, she's beautiful, or she's so cute, or whatever it is. And now. And then. I'm sorry. And then eventually, like, as you start to connect to them, like, really connect to them, it's like. It's just a different. It's a different thing. So I think that's what changed. I think that enhanced, you know, so.

[Lauren]

What were some things that you did differently once you started feeling like your souls were meeting that you didn't do before?

[Joe DeRosa]

You know, I'd lock her in the house, wouldn't let her go outside.

[Lauren]

Typical.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. I'd punch a man if he looked at her. You know, stuff like that.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, what did I do differently? That's an interesting question. I don't know if I have an accurate answer for that, but I can tell you that there were things I appreciated differently. David Tell had this great joke about. It was a long time ago, but he had this great joke about. I forget the setup, but the punchline was like, sex and murder. Or sex and murder are essentially the same thing. After you finish, either you're like, I gotta get out of here. What the hell was I thinking? Which is so funny. But, like, that, like, idea. Like, that's an exaggerated version and a very funny version of what I'm talking about. But, like, that idea or that feeling of after you finished being, like, sort of physical and whatever. Because, you know, usually a date sort of crescendos to that. And then once that happens, whether it's somebody you're dating or not, you might often, male or female, feel like, boy, it'd be nice to just kind of sleep in my own bed right now, you know? Or, boy, it'd be nice to just go home and my dog's there or whatever it is. And I never felt that with her. Not even kind of once. Like, she'd be at my apartment for four straight days. And when she left, I was sad. And when she called me an hour later, I was happy. And I remember there was this really, for me, like, a really key moment. I don't know if it resonated with her in the same way it resonated with me, but she came and stayed with me when I was in Pennsylvania. And the town that I have a house in in Pennsylvania is a very, very fun town. It's super. It looks like Gilmore Girls. Like, there's all these restaurants and bars, and there's water, and it's just really beautiful. And then all my boys live there that I grew up with, like, all my closest, oldest friends.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

So we were gonna. It was a Saturday morning. We were gonna go out with all my buddies that day. I was so excited about that. Cause I was like, man. Cause she, like, she could hang. She could drink. Like, I was like, this is gonna be fun today. Anyway, we woke up in the morning, we had sex. The sex was awesome. And then we were laying there, and I just said, how cool is this? And she goes, what? And I go, we get to hang out now all day. And I was. I just. In that moment, I was like, jesus. Like, that's a. You can feel like this. Like, you can feel like. And I don't mean it crassly. I don't mean, like, if. Like, we. Like, if we had sex in the morning, I would want to go home or not have her there or anything. I don't mean it like that. I just meant, like, the double excitement of, like, how can I be this attracted to this person and then be this excited to hang out with them right after? Like, that was a collision of. Of emotions that I had never experienced.

[Lauren]

Well, I think it's so. It sounds like you're. You Guys kind of became best friends.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

And I think that's one of the beautiful things about being with someone is when you guys do have so much fun together.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

And you want to be with that person.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes. She made me laugh a lot and that was very important to me.

[Lauren]

Was that new for you?

[Joe DeRosa]

No, I dated funny people, but she made me laugh like the way, like, my bros make me laugh.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

You know, people can make you laugh the way, you know, like a comedian makes you laugh or something. Like, and by that I mean socially the way a comedian makes you laugh. Like, comedians are in, you know, a lot of the time in conversations, are very witty or charming or whatever. And I've known a lot of people that have made me laugh in that way. But like, the way you're like, boys make you laugh. You're like, fuck you, dude. You know what I mean? Like, like laughter in a way. Like, I do this thing with Shane where like, I'll be like, like, we'll be drinking and I'll be like, he'll like fuck with me. And I'll be like, you just wait, dude. One day I'm gonna fucking come straight at you, man. You better guard your fucking jaw, dude. You know? And then he'll go, oh, please try it, dude. I will fucking end you. And I'll go, I know you will, because this will end on my own terms. This is about control not victory. And like, it just. We laugh really hard. And I'm like, that's such a dumbass thing you say to one of your boys when you're drinking. It's so stupid. It's like, only the two of you get why that's funny.

[Lauren]

Uh huh.

[Joe DeRosa]

And she makes me. She made me laugh like that, like. And it's like, that's not easy to come by, you know, she made me laugh in the way that, like getting wasted in my friend Scott's basement. And I would hit him as hard as I could in the head with a textbook when he was drunk, but he would want me to do it. And he would be laughing even though it hurt. I wouldn't hit her in the head. But my point is like that stupid shit you do with your boys.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I'm only saying my boy, boy, because I'm a dude. But that just dumb ass shit you do, like, where you're like, nobody will ever get how funny. It's like, it's like why the Kevin Smith movies are funny. It's why Clerks is funny. It's like this guy captured what it's like, to hang out with your boys.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And, like, figured out a way to translate it to everybody. So, like, that I'm digressing too much into this point. But the. But that was a really, really cool thing that, you know, she really, really made me laugh a lot. And that's like, you know, that's not easy to find, you know, I don't think at least.

[Lauren]

No, it's not. But finding a soulmate isn't easy to do either. It takes a lot of searching. And it sounds like it took you.

[Joe DeRosa]

47 years to find and lose a soulmate. Yes.

[Lauren]

But you did it.

[Joe DeRosa]

I did it. I can die now.

[Lauren]

You did it.

[Joe DeRosa]

All right, next stop, cancer. And we did it. We did life. So we did what most people do. Go ahead. Sorry.

[Lauren]

Do you get jealous easily?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

What do you. What? What do you get jealous over? Flirting? I mean, I guess, like, I'm insecure.

[Joe DeRosa]

Because of my adoption. I have abandonment issues because of my adoption.

[Lauren]

You were adopted?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Oh, I didn't even know that.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, it was just last week. But they're nice people. No? Yeah, I was adopted. Or am adopted, but you have a lot of subconscious abandonment issues.

[Lauren]

Have you ever wanted to see? Okay, I feel like that's always the follow up question, right?

[Joe DeRosa]

It is. I just. I just was on another podcast and they asked me that and I used to have a joke about it when I first started in stand up. I'd say, every time you say you're adopted, people say, excuse me, did you ever try to look for your real parents? I say, no, I pretty much took the hint when they abandoned me. Oh, that was a big joke I had when I was a younger, younger man and a younger comedian. But so, no, no, I am curious, but not curious enough to go out and seek them. No. It's a lot of work, it's a lot of money, it's a lot of time, and you don't know what the fuck you're gonna find. He thinks it's gonna be this, like, field of dreams, no moment, you know, where you play catch with your dad for the first time. It's like, these people could be psychos. I don't know. You know what I mean? It's a real Pandora's box that I don't know.

[Lauren]

If I was in yours, if I was adopted, I would do the same thing. I would just. I would take the hint.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And it's like, you know, my parents, they adopted me when I was nine days old. It's like, that's all I know.

[Lauren]

They're your parents. Those are your.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't. Yeah, it's like, I don't know anything else. Like, it's like there's not a moment where I can remember the change.

[Lauren]

Yeah. No. Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

So. Yeah.

[Lauren]

But it's a curious question, though.

[Joe DeRosa]

Of course. I get it. Some people have.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

I would do it if, like. If, like, a TV show came to me and say. Said, like, hey, we'll do all the work part. You just have to let us document it. Then I'd be like, well, shit, that's an interesting opportunity. I should probably do it.

[Lauren]

That's actually an interesting idea for a show.

[Joe DeRosa]

I tried to pitch it a couple times as a docu series and. Or documentary, and the repeated rejecting answer I got was no, because we don't know how it ends. Isn't that fucking insane?

[Lauren]

No one knows how it ends. That's the show.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. Isn't that insane, though, that that's the entertainment industry now? We don't know how your documentary ends. Oh, you mean the thing where I'm supposed to capture real life?

[Lauren]

Yeah, the reality series.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. I'm sorry we don't have a scripted ending for how my fucking Halliburton documentary ends. Like, I don't fucking know.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Weird. I would think that that would be a hit show.

[Joe DeRosa]

Maybe. Maybe I'll do it on my YouTube or something. But. But your question was, do I have jealousy issues? They're not issues, but, yeah, I tend to get. I get. Yes, I'm insecure because of that.

[Lauren]

I'm insecure and I wasn't even adopted.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Why are you insecure?

[Lauren]

Well, every relationship that I've ever had that hasn't worked out has 95% been because the person has cheated on me. And that. That makes me pretty insecure.

[Joe DeRosa]

Can I. Let me. I want to ask you some questions.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I say all of this respectfully, but I want to just speak candidly because by all means, we don't have time.

[Lauren]

Hey, I'm your rebound.

[Joe DeRosa]

But, like, you're a very, very, like, traditionally hot woman, you know? You know that you've been playboy and all that stuff.

[Lauren]

Thank you.

[Joe DeRosa]

Do you think because of your. The way you look, you had not. Not through your fault? I just mean, do you think because of your looks, you attracted the type of man that is. That tends to be potentially a little more superficial?

[Lauren]

Yeah. Like, I'm.

[Joe DeRosa]

And cheats for that reason.

[Lauren]

I think that at first.

[Joe DeRosa]

Right.

[Lauren]

Guys probably look at me like a toy. Like I'm fun.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And I feel like I'm fun. Like, I like to go out and have fun, especially when I'm in relationships. When I'm dating, like, I like to drink, I like to, like, have sex. I'm like, I'm a fun time.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But also I've been taken for granted a ton. And then when you lose it, so. So when I get cheated on or someone, like, treats me kind of like shit, like, throws me off to the side, I'm over it. And I don't go back. I'm like, I'm not the kind of person that likes to go back.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, that's tough.

[Lauren]

And so once a guy will find out, fuck around and find out, then this regret starts happening and guys will usually wanna come back and be with me. And that doesn't work.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well. Yeah. And it shouldn't work. That's not fair to you.

[Lauren]

But that has happened to me so many times that it's like, well, fuck, what the fuck is wrong with me? I feel like I am a full package. Why do I get treated like shit? Why does that? Why? How come that kept happening to me over and over again? So it makes me insecure.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And there's. Look, there's societal things you're up against. You know, there's prejudices that you're up against. There just are. Everybody loves to go, oh, if you're hot, please. There's no. And it's like, no, that's not true. I was looking at your Instagram feed one day because you posted something about like, oh, lasagna.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I was looking and it was like, slides, you know, in the, in the post or whatever. And I was looking at the slides and I was like, oh, wow, Lauren knows how to cook. That's really cool. And then I caught myself and I was like, why are you surprised that she knows how to cook? And I was like, because she's hot. You think, like, she wouldn't know how to cook. You know what I mean? And I'm like, no, that's fucked up of me to think that. But that's what I mean about a societal prejudice against a person that looks a certain way. You know, comedian. There are comedians that get it a lot. You're too good looking to be funny, you know, or you haven't suffered because you're good looking. And it's like, well, there's probably 3 million beautiful children that come from very rich families in this country that are pretty fucked up and miserable right now. You know what I mean? So it's those prejudices, or Cs, however you say it, of society, I think apply in all directions. They apply to you. And I get it. It's like, because whether any of us like it or not, society positions us in a certain way, and we have to fight to get out of that if we don't like it. And the way you got positioned, a certain type of dude is in that lane. You know what I mean? It's almost like you're in a stream and all you can eat is what's coming down that stream. And then you have to go, I gotta go to another fucking stream. I don't like this. You know what I mean?

[Lauren]

I got better at dating, though.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, well, that's. That's what I mean.

[Lauren]

I started choosing different people that, like, so, you know, more normal guys. More, like, not anyone in the entertainment industry.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

And so I started. And then my type kind of became guys that were pretty average so that I would be, like, the star to them that wouldn't get thrown to the side for some other girl that was, like, equally.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I know a lot of hot women that do that. Seriously. I know a lot of hot women that are like, no, I don't date, like, equally hot dudes.

[Lauren]

No medium ugly. You gotta be medium ugly. You need to have some sort of a belly. I like, like, you know, I like a. You gotta. You got, you. You cannot be muscular hot. I don't want you in the gym. I don't want, like, working out.

[Joe DeRosa]

Where were you five years ago? In my life, I meet all your standards. Can you find me another Playboy model that's like, I just want you to be a lump of shit?

[Lauren]

Almost all of them.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm right here.

[Lauren]

Almost them. All of. Almost all of those models are like that.

[Joe DeRosa]

Ladies, let's go.

[Lauren]

Girls don't want a guy that's, like, trying to compete.

[Joe DeRosa]

Great. I love it now. Like, it's tough. It's. Yeah, Insecurity is really tough. I have a thing in my life where I'm noticing, and it's not. It's just people in my life in general. Like, not dating necessarily, just people. Excuse me, but I'm noticing I've had a tendency because of my insecurities over the years to gravitate towards people that have a certain amount of control issues and a certain unwillingness to compromise. And because of my insecurities, I'm willing to endure that for far longer than I should. And you know what I mean? It was a real light bulb moment I had where I Was like, why am I always. Not always. I have a lot of wonderful people in my life, but there are just people here and there where I'm like, why do I find myself in this same weird conflict again, like, with a different type of. And I'm like, because it's not a different type of person. It's this type of person that you're.

[Lauren]

Yeah, it's a type. It's a type.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And you get attracted to the same types of people.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

And usually it's not even a physical thing, because they could all look somewhat different, you know?

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, that's why I'm saying, for me, it's not even romantic necessarily. It's friendships. It's just relationships, period.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

You know, but. But insecurity will allow you to gravitate towards a certain type of person and put up with stuff that is not good for you. Yeah, obviously. But again, it's even. Not to get too deep or put too fine a point on it. It's even prejudice of me to be surprised that you said you were insecure. You see what I mean?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Do you see what I mean? Of course you can be insecure. You're a person who's had your own experiences. But we think things, and we don't imagine the other person could be going through it. And then that makes people treat people poorly because they think, well, you don't hurt the way I do. So I got to, in defense of my own self.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Strike out against you and do a shitty thing, because that's how I protect me. Because you're gonna do it first.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Joe DeRosa]

And then the other person's like, no, I won't.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I wasn't gonna do anything, but it's just a defense mechanism. And I think most of the time, we walk by people and we don't even think twice about what they're going through. And you think sometimes when someone is very attractive, that they don't have problems because they're a pretty person and life must be easy. Right?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And it's. Yes. And it's all. And it's all relative, too. People think that about. I get that a lot from people that aren't in my line of work. Not about my physical looks, about my job. You know, people think. Because, you know, they see you on, you know, an episode of Tires, and you get to write for a TV show, and you just performed over here, and there were all these people laughing and, you know, and then you were on this big podcast that they listen to everywhere, whatever it is. They think, like, yeah, you just wouldn't get it, man. Like, your life, like, what are you even worried about, man? And it's like, no, dude, it's a job. My job is just like your job. My job has headaches and problems and stress, and it makes me feel crappy at times, and it makes me feel good at times. It's a job like any job. But people, they don't. You know, they think, no, there's no way you could possibly ever be down or whatever.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

You know.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. So anyway.

[Lauren]

Well, this has been a very interesting rebounding day.

[Joe DeRosa]

Was. It is heavy.

[Lauren]

I feel like I loved it.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, good. Okay, good. I loved it too. I like to talk about real stuff, getting.

[Lauren]

Getting a whole new side of you, and it's such a different side of you compared to the first time that you were on this show. Compared to now. You're like a whole new person.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was a lot. In a good way. That's really nice to hear, though. I don't. You know, I.

[Lauren]

You're so much more relatable.

[Joe DeRosa]

What the hell did I say the last. I don't remember what I said.

[Lauren]

Well, the last time that you were on the show, you. You were, like, 100% sold on, like, being single forever. Like, pretty much monogamy was, like, absolutely insane. No question about it. And you were very set in your ways that your life as a bachelor was the way you were gonna spend the rest of your life.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And you came across as sort of a douchebag. What kinda.

[Joe DeRosa]

No.

[Lauren]

Yeah, because.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, you invited me to a second date at the end.

[Lauren]

I did, but I wasn't expecting you to not be a douchebag bag again.

[Joe DeRosa]

Look, admittedly I had had a few before I came on last time. No, I was at a brunch and I rushed down.

[Lauren]

But I just. But. But it. But I'm saying that because it was like you hadn't ever had a real girlfriend. And it was like, how do I break? How do I crack this egg? Because you were so in your own world, in your own bubble of, like, you being single and wanting that life. And it's like I wanted you to fall. I would have wished that on you to fall in love, to have an experience, to, like, understand what a. What your. What a soul mate can feel like.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, it's. It's. It's like, perhaps I'm not passing the buck here. I had a great time being a bachelor for a very long time. It was very fun. But perhaps, as we talk about it, I don't know, Maybe I'll learn as I go that some of that was.

[Lauren]

A defense mechanism, but that's what I'm saying. You're so much more interesting and that you have this experience under your belt. It's like, what's gonna come for you next. I'd love to keep following your relationship life because you're probably the most interesting person.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, well, thank you. That's a nice compliment.

[Lauren]

To go from not having a conversation.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, I think you meant it ever that ever lived.

[Lauren]

The most interesting on a show. Even though I like to think that everything revolves around me.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, I love doing this show. I feel like I learn. I do not think you're a douchebag.

[Lauren]

I don't think you're a douchebag anymore either.

[Joe DeRosa]

I never knew you initially did.

[Lauren]

Well, of course not. I would never tell anyone that.

[Joe DeRosa]

But you're not trying to say. My impression of you initially was that you. And I'm not just tit for tat.

[Lauren]

No pun intended, tit for tat.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm not tit for tatting you right now, but my impression of you initially was that I was not aware that you're as deep as you are. Not that I thought you were flimsy or something like that. I just. It was just, you know, I just thought that you kind of just played it very. You know what I mean?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I was delighted. It was. The second time I saw you. It was probably the live show.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

When we did the live show, and, like, you were like. You were pregnant. You were very pregnant. We were, like, right at the end, I think, and you were just. There was just, like. I saw a warmth in you. And as we talked backstage and stuff, and I was like. I remember thinking, like, you know what Lauren's like. I thought she was cool, but, like, there's, like, a deeper thing there than I think I initially realized. And then, like, sitting down today and talking the questions you're asking and stuff, I'm like, oh, this is cool. Like, this is a person I could, like, really, I feel like, talk to. Not just talk to, but, like, learn from. Learn some stuff from. So it's been nice, and. Yeah, we'll see what happens next.

[Lauren]

This has been a great second date. I feel like this is what all second dates are about.

[Joe DeRosa]

I agree. I agree.

[Lauren]

Well, what is the sweetest thing that you did for your girlfriend when you guys were together?

[Joe DeRosa]

Um, I. Well, yeah. All right. Yeah, it's probably this. I was supposed to not see her for a few weeks, and I was Supposed to be up in Pennsylvania. Pardon me? And she was down here. And I knew she was sad that we wouldn't see each other, as was I. And I had an opportunity to get on a plane to get down here without her knowing. And I called her roommate, and I set it up with her roommate. And then her roommate did this thing where she's like, hey, I went to the apartment building and I stood in the hallway. And her roommate did the thing where she's like, there's a package out here. Can you please help me? This box is, like, huge. And then she came out and I was sitting in the hallway. That was probably.

[Lauren]

Was she just over the moon?

[Joe DeRosa]

She was. And then we broke up three weeks later.

[Lauren]

Oh, no. Oh.

[Joe DeRosa]

Sorry. It's too funny to not say. It's too funny to not say. It's unfortunate, but yes, that week was a beautiful week. We had a really nice. Not that we had a bad three weeks. It's just.

[Lauren]

Wow, it was so sweet. And then it ended so sour.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, it didn't end sour. It's just. It's. That was my favorite thing that I ever got to do for a person. Because, you know, that's the exact kind of thing I don't like to do. I don't like to get uprooted when I have a plan in place and then have to go do it because I'm like, no, then I gotta go back down there. And then I so like. To be able to do that and get over my own bullshit felt really nice. But I feel like I equally should say the sweetest thing she did for me. Right? Like, I don't want it to be about what I did for her. But, yeah, she. This is such a. It's such. It's such a. I don't want to say small, like, meaning. It didn't have meaning. I just mean, like, it's the little shit that I'm just like, you know, like, it really kills me.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

And she was at my house on Valentine's Day and the doorbell rang. And I was like, who the fuck is that? And I went to the door, and it was a guy with a dozen roses and a box of candy. And she, like, got it for me just to say, like. Like, she was being, like, kind of cute and funny. Like, isn't it funny that I got you candy and flowers? But she also was doing it to be like, you know, I love you, Happy Valentine's Day. And it was like. It was just such a sweet, adorable. I was like, God, man, that's really. That's really nice. And then another time when I was sick, she was in Austin and I was in Pennsylvania, and she, like, was having all this stuff sent to me.

[Lauren]

You know, like medicines.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was, like, different medicines and, like, ginger shots and turmeric and all.

[Lauren]

Oh, that is really sweet.

[Joe DeRosa]

You know, like. And she just was having it, like, sent. And, you know, like, that kind of shit to me is like, wow, that's really, like. That's truly, like, lovely.

[Lauren]

That is really, really nice.

[Joe DeRosa]

Right?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

All right. Should I not have made the comment that we broke up through. I feel bad I said that.

[Lauren]

Why? That's what happened.

[Joe DeRosa]

I know it's what happened. And it was.

[Lauren]

That's exactly what happened. You showed up, you're like, hi. I love you. And then it lasted for three more weeks. Good day. Like, what the fuck?

[Joe DeRosa]

When we were breaking up, we said to each other, we were like. We might be the first couple that actually coaches each other through the breakup. Like, that's how tight we were.

[Lauren]

So do you think y' all are gonna be, like, friends?

[Joe DeRosa]

I hope that that can happen. Yeah. I hope so. But you can't. This is the thing. I'm sorry. Do we have to go? Am I going on too long?

[Lauren]

Tell me.

[Joe DeRosa]

Okay, give me another 30 minutes. Well, let's cut this in half, and when my next special comes out, you can save. No, the space thing is necessary. It just is. You can't. And I didn't get that. I'm learning all these things for the first time. You can't get through the breakup without the space thing.

[Lauren]

No, of course not.

[Joe DeRosa]

And if the breakup is the thing that you both need, because ultimately you're both hurting from the relationship, you have to do the space thing. And in doing the space thing, you don't have contact. So then all you can say is, I hope the day comes where we can. Where we can be friends. You know? Like, if I saw her right now, I wouldn't be like, you know, like, I would talk.

[Lauren]

What's up, girl?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I would talk to her, and I. You know, I would hope that we'd have a conversation. But, like, it's. You know, it's tough. It's like. You know, it's a weird thing, because the reason you have to do the space thing is so you protect the emotions and the urges that might lead you back into the scenario that wasn't working for the two of you. So who knows what the time limit on that is? I have no idea. You know, I always kind of thought you could do a thing where you text here and there and you can't. You just can't. So I hope that. I think that day will come and I hope that it does. And I think we're on fine terms now, as far as I know. You know. So, like, that's it, I guess. I don't know. We'll see what happens.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Well, I'll have you back for a third date.

[Joe DeRosa]

Thank you.

[Lauren]

And you can update me.

[Joe DeRosa]

Updates. Ooh, that's. There's something.

[Lauren]

There's another one. The updates.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, you should do something with that. Yeah, do something with that. Updates. Maybe a second series, a spin off. Yeah, yeah. Something where like. Yeah, maybe a person comes on and tells you about a date or some event romantically they have coming up and you're like, can you come in next week and give me a break after it happens in just 20 minutes? And that's a little thing for like TikTok or something.

[Lauren]

I think that's great.

[Joe DeRosa]

I think it is too. I think you should do that.

[Lauren]

Thank you for coming on my show.

[Joe DeRosa]

Thank you for having me.

[Lauren]

Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for telling me about your dating experience.

[Joe DeRosa]

Of course.

[Lauren]

I really enjoyed this.

[Joe DeRosa]

I really did, too. Thank you. I actually needed it. It was cathartic. So thank you very much.

[Lauren]

Of course.

[Joe DeRosa]

And watch my special please on my YouTube Joe Derosa comedy. Thanks, Lauren.

[Lauren]

Thank you, guys. Thank you for watching another episode. This one has been very fun. We'll see you next time. First date. Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? First date. I can't wait. You told your mom about me? Just say, you ready? Delete my number. First date. Your parents are your roommates. First date.