The Circus of Love w/ Zach Zucker | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Circus of Love" featuring Zach Zucker | First Date with Lauren Compton

Podcast Information:

• Title: First Date with Lauren Compton
• Host: Lauren Compton
• Guest: Zach Zucker
• Episode Title: The Circus of Love
• Release Date: May 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this vibrant episode of First Date with Lauren Compton, comedian and variety show producer Zach Zucker joins Lauren to delve into his multifaceted life, exploring his career, personal relationships, and unique perspectives on dating. The conversation is a blend of humor, candid revelations, and engaging anecdotes that paint a comprehensive picture of Zach's journey both on and off the stage.

Background: Zach Zucker and Stamp Town

Zach Zucker introduces himself as an award-winning performer and the creative force behind Stamp Town, his production company and variety show. He describes Stamp Town as a “vaudevillian, fun, clowny variety show” that incorporates elements of circus, burlesque, dance, magic, and music, diverging from traditional stand-up comedy. Zach emphasizes his commitment to creating a lively, inclusive environment that celebrates unconventional talent.

Notable Quote:

“Stamp Town is like a vaudevillian, fun, clowny variety show with like, circus and burlesque and dance and magic and music and really anything but non-traditional stand-up for no reason.”
— Zach Zucker [00:45]

Zach shares that Stamp Town performs from Wednesday to Saturday at the State Theater and tours major cities like New York, Los Angeles, and London. He praises the show’s dynamic energy and its ability to bring together a diverse group of performers who thrive in a non-corporate, respectful, and communicative setting.

Dating Life: Current Status and Past Relationships

Transitioning to his personal life, Zach reveals that he is currently in a state of limbo, intermittently seeing someone while navigating the challenges of a nomadic lifestyle. His experiences highlight the difficulties of maintaining consistent relationships amidst constant travel.

Notable Quote:

“I've been seeing somebody on and off for a bit and then we've taken some time off and then I was back out there and yeah, I guess I'm out there... on these streets.”
— Zach Zucker [02:16]

Zach reflects on his past relationships, many of which were influenced by his commitment to Stamp Town and the transient nature of his profession. He discusses the unique dynamics of dating within his variety show, emphasizing the importance of maintaining professional boundaries despite the close-knit community.

Personal Preferences: Types and Deal-Breakers

Lauren and Zach engage in a playful yet insightful discussion about their preferred attributes in potential partners. Zach describes himself as a “hopeless romantic” and a “lover” who appreciates the beauty in everyone. However, he candidly addresses his red flags, such as being unintentionally hot and cold due to his undiagnosed ADHD, which sometimes causes him to withdraw unexpectedly.

Notable Quote:

“I am a lover. And you know what? I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm a clown.”
— Zach Zucker [06:17]

Zach emphasizes that respect and positive treatment towards his friends and family are non-negotiable traits he seeks in a partner. He expresses a desire for equality and genuine connection, rather than superficial admiration or fan-like adoration.

Insights on Relationships and Change

The conversation delves into the complexities of personal growth within relationships. Zach acknowledges the possibility of change but underscores the importance of mutual growth, even if it means growing apart. He shares his struggles with accepting that not everyone can or will change alongside him, highlighting the emotional challenges this realization brings.

Notable Quote:

“If you ask my heart, I'm usually open to it. I feel like I have accepted... everything in my life has come back around at least one to eight more times after I thought it was done.”
— Zach Zucker [07:22]

Zach also touches on his experiences with therapy, crediting his friend Candace with helping him navigate his emotional landscapes and relationship dynamics.

Clown School and Professional Challenges

One of the standout segments of the episode is Zach’s vivid recounting of his time at clown school in Etampes, France. He shares humorous and sometimes harrowing stories about the logistical nightmares of performing as a clown, dealing with costume malfunctions, and maintaining his character in everyday situations.

Notable Quote:

“Being a clown is awful. It's a logistical nightmare.”
— Zach Zucker [35:10]

Zach highlights the dedication required to his craft, including traveling with props like fake dynamite and handling misunderstandings about his comedic persona. These stories not only provide comedic relief but also shed light on the less glamorous aspects of his career in entertainment.

Favorite and Least Favorite Things: Music and Food

The duo explores their musical tastes, with Zach expressing his disdain for certain pop songs and artists. He humorously critiques contemporary music, contrasting it with his continued love for hip-hop and R&B, which aligns with his recent dance journey.

Notable Quote:

“What is your least favorite song of all time?... I've really been back in my hip hop bag as I've started my little hip hop dance journey lately.”
— Zach Zucker [27:00]

When discussing food, both Lauren and Zach reveal a shared love for Mexican cuisine and sushi. They debate the merits of sushi as a first date option, noting its cultural significance and the opportunity it provides to learn about each other's preferences and habits, such as using chopsticks.

Notable Quote:

“I think sushi is a good first date because it's usually not messy. Don't fuck your tum tum up.”
— Zach Zucker [31:55]

Romantic Gestures and Gift-Giving

A heartfelt segment of the podcast focuses on romantic gestures. Zach recounts his elaborate Valentine's Day surprise, which included personalized gifts that reflected his partner's interests. He discusses his strengths as a gift-giver, driven by his attentive and listening nature developed through his performance background.

Notable Quote:

“I got her like Tesla car keys and then also got her a nice mix of all of her little treats and things that she likes.”
— Zach Zucker [41:00]

Conversely, Lauren shares her own romantic endeavors, including theatrical birthday surprises and meticulously planned dinners, highlighting the importance of creativity and personalization in expressing love.

Conclusion: Looking Ahead

As the conversation winds down, Zach updates listeners on his upcoming performances and the continued success of Stamp Town. He expresses optimism about future shows and the expansion of his creative endeavors, reinforcing his passion for entertaining and connecting with audiences worldwide.

Notable Quote:

“Guys can find me on the Internet @Zach Zucker on TikTok and Instagram and on our website. I think by the time this comes out, I'm gonna be taping a special in New York May 18th and 20th at Bell House.”
— Zach Zucker [49:02]

Final Thoughts: This episode offers an entertaining and honest glimpse into Zach Zucker's life, balancing humor with genuine insights into his personal and professional experiences. Lauren Compton skillfully navigates the conversation, allowing Zach to share his stories and perspectives in an engaging and relatable manner. Listeners are left with a deeper understanding of the complexities of balancing a demanding career with the pursuit of meaningful relationships.

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Find Zach Zucker:

• Instagram: @ZachZucker
• TikTok: @ZachZucker
• Website: stamptowncomedy.com

Upcoming Shows:

• New York Special: May 18th & 20th at Bell House
• Edinburgh Fringe: 21 nights of Stamp Town
• Lincoln Center Special: June 28th

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Thank you for tuning into another episode of First Date with Lauren Compton. Stay tuned for more candid conversations and entertaining stories in future episodes!

Transcript

[Lauren Compton]

I'm so excited to see you tonight.

[Zach Zucker]

First date, baby. First date. I can't wait. First date.

[Lauren Compton]

Hello and welcome to another episode of First Date with Me as your host, Lauren Compton. My guest today is an award winning, perfect performer and producer. I'm going to read this right off the screen as well as the host of Stamp Town. You'll have to tell me more about that.

[Zach Zucker]

I would love to.

[Lauren Compton]

You can find out more about him on Instagram at Zach Zucker and get tickets to see his comedy@stamptown comedy.com. what is Stamp Town?

[Zach Zucker]

Good question. Stamp Town is the name of my production company as well as a variety show that I host and run. So it's, it's like a vaudevillian, fun, clowny variety show with like, circus and burlesque and dance and magic and music and really anything but non traditional stand up for no reason. Then, like, other than, like, I just, like, don't know how to do it. Well, I was like, let me lean into my strengths. Like, let's get all, like, the freaks and all the people who are, like, aren't getting booked on the other stuff, and let's put together the rowdiest, fun, saucy little show we possibly can.

[Lauren Compton]

When is your show? I know that this, this podcast is going to come out and so people are going to miss it because Moon Towers right now. Yes, but which day are you doing that?

[Zach Zucker]

So I'm doing it Wednesday to Saturday at the state theater. So nights for Moon Tower, and then we do it mostly in New York and L. A and London, and then we, whenever we have, whenever we're booked anywhere else, we'll go.

[Lauren Compton]

That sounds so fun.

[Zach Zucker]

It's fun. It's a good time. I'm biased, obviously, but I think it's pretty fun.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, well, send me the info. Well, I guess I can go to Samtown comedy dot com.

[Zach Zucker]

How about that?

[Lauren Compton]

Well, thank you for coming on my show.

[Zach Zucker]

Thank you.

[Lauren Compton]

This is all about your dating life.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, God. And I've been coached so many times by friends, loved ones, lovers, and my team to be like, hey, just like, shut the fuck up. Sometimes you don't have to, like, share everything. And then I was like, okay, cool, cool, cool. Oh, so I'm going to be really fighting against God today to know this show.

[Lauren Compton]

You can let it all hang out. Let's go ahead and get into some appetizer questions. What is your dating life like?

[Zach Zucker]

Even that I'm like, all right, don't say anything crazy. Like, it's just started, like, work up to it. I, at the moment, I'm in a bit of a limbo. I'm in a bit of a limbo state. We'll see where I'm at, where this comes out. I've been seeing somebody on and off for a bit and then we've taken some time off and then I was back out there and yeah, I guess I'm out there. I'm out there on these streets. Oh, God, what a nightmare.

[Lauren Compton]

So you're for the streets right now?

[Zach Zucker]

I'm for the people. Okay.

[Lauren Compton]

Have you ever dated anyone within your variety show?

[Zach Zucker]

Yes, we actually, I mean, the circus is like a fucking. What a crazy way to. Okay. The circus is different. You know, we, I think, are kind of the opposite of corporate America and the rest of the world where it's like, hey, we actually are adults and we're respectful and we know how to communicate and work with each other and we all travel all the time, so we all kind of live on this, like, good time. Not a long time time frame. And yeah, you know, a lot of people have fucked everybody and we all love each other and it's like, well, you know, I can't perform and work with and be best friends with a bunch of like, you know, dope ass virgins. You know, we got to make sure everybody knows how to fuck good. Oh, totally. Oh, God, that's a horrible thing because then it just sounds like horrible and like everyone's look, so you're a traveling orgy sometimes. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I've never said this like this ever in my life. I've said it so much more eloquently or just not at all. And then, yeah, whatever. Yeah, Sometimes people have sex with each other. I want people to leave our shows feeling horned up, but I like to keep it where it's like, you know, I, my client, I went to a clown school in France and my teacher was always like, you know, you have to be a bit poots. You have to be a bit of a whore and show a little shoulder if you want to. But it's more of like the, you draw them in to get tickets and that's the brand. Yeah, you, you keep it separate actually in real life. So, you know, like I, we like to give off this fun, saucy energy. And it's like if you come, you might be able to find somebody in the show. But ultimately we're all like, ew, no, please don't. Like, we all just love Each other.

[Lauren Compton]

Are you the ringleader?

[Zach Zucker]

I would say so, yeah. None of the orgies, just of the show. I've never been involved in any show related orgies. I just need to clarify this down the barrel of the camera. I know, I've like really, I've really backed myself into the worst fucking corner I possibly could right here. I. I get mines elsewhere. What is your type of, um, usually someone who doesn't like me very much. Someone who doesn't like, really respect me. What isn't my type is somebody who tells me that they like what I do. I want to know that you like what I do, but I don't ever want to hear it. You know, I think I come from a via negativa, bisexual, mommy, daddy issue background. So I'm like, you know, I want to know that you appreciate this and I like to talk about art and the fun parts about it, but when as soon as someone starts to be like, you're so funny, I immediately I'm like, okay. I think actually, I think the mic's actually not working. So I gotta go.

[Lauren Compton]

My mom's calling. I gotta go.

[Zach Zucker]

Mom's calling and you know, I'm not gonna be answering, so I do have to go.

[Lauren Compton]

What is. Do you like physically, do you like hot people? Do you like medium ugly?

[Zach Zucker]

This is awesome.

[Lauren Compton]

Totally ugly buff.

[Zach Zucker]

I love fugly morons, you know? No, I don't know. I.

[Lauren Compton]

That is, that's a category.

[Zach Zucker]

No, I would not. I don't know. I'm kind of. I am a lover. And you know what? I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm a clown. You know, I'm a. I'm a clown who has been on the road for the better half of the last 13 years. I know I look like I'm 16, but I'm actually only 17. I think, I think I'll be 32 by the time this comes out. So, you know, I've. I've just. I don't even know why I was gonna say that in the first place, but I kind of love. I love all. I love everybody. I can feel like I can see the beauty in anyone. And if you have a fun connection and the timings right, it's like, why not have a good time, enjoy your life.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you like people? Have you ever dated anyone shorter than you?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Doesn't bother you?

[Zach Zucker]

No, I really am kind of like, I'm kind of open to everything. There's. There's nothing that will immediately turn me off unless you're like, actually mean to my friends. Or my brother.

[Lauren Compton]

Is that, Is that your big red flag?

[Zach Zucker]

I would say so. I mean, it's like, you know, there's. There's sometimes you could see folks who, like. I think if I meet. I meet most people around like some entertainment related stuff because that's just what I'm doing a lot of the times. And if you see someone looking at you, I'm sure you know this as well. It's like, if you see people looking a bit like this, it's like, all right, yeah, no, thank you. If they're kind of projecting this idea onto you, like hooking up with what I would. I dare to hesitate to use the word fans. That it does not appeal to me and I don't enjoy that. I like to have an equal. I like to be on an equal playing field. I don't like there to be this, like this, you know, I want to find the dynamics with somebody on our own, in our own life. But like, I would like to come in. It is like, you know, two individuals looking at each other as individuals and not like you're the guy from the thing that doesn't ever do it for me.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. Do you like to be in exclusive relationships?

[Zach Zucker]

I have not been in so many, but I have tried every time that it's popped up. And that was recently. I was in something where, you know, I was. I was off the market for a while for like eight months. And that was the longest for a while that it's been for me. And I was really proud of myself that I was able to do that because I just like, didn't think that was something maybe I was after or capable of or wanted.

[Lauren Compton]

Was. Is that the longest relationship you've ever been in?

[Zach Zucker]

I've been in longer on and off. Like, will they, won't they's? Because again, I've just been kind of around and like, you know, until the pandemic, from like 2013 to like 2020, I was on the road. Like, I didn't live anywhere. I was like, we were strategically nomadic as, as we would call it. And so, you know, I'd have like, people that I would see in areas when we would get. Get back there. And if we're both like single or it lined up, we would see each other and it was great. So it's like, it's so cringe to be like, oh, I like lovers around the world. But it's like you have people who you have these great connections with and when you see each other, it's like really wonderful. So it Allows you to have these like more deep, deeper intimate connections without maybe the long term commitment that like being on the road would just like murder if you're, you know, like we weren't just moving around between like LA and San Francisco. It's like we were changing cities and continents like 40 to 50 times a year.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

It's just a nightmare. So it was hard.

[Lauren Compton]

When you end a relationship, even in general, how do you feel about going back to an example?

[Zach Zucker]

And you're catching me in a moment right now. Look, if you ask my friends, I shouldn't do it. If you ask me, I probably shouldn't do it. But if you ask my heart, I'm usually open to it. I've. I feel like I have accepted. I kind of in my mid-20s was like, Hey, I kind of release expectations of like, I don't know at all whatever is going to happen or what could or could not happen. But everything in my life has come back around at least one to eight more times after I thought it was done.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And you know, as long as I am, am feeling good about it and they're feeling good about it, which I would say, like, truthfully, for the most part, I feel I've like, done okay with, then why not? You know?

[Lauren Compton]

Do you feel like people can change?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, I do. I would like to think so. I mean, otherwise then I'm not going to change. And I'm the same piece of I was when I was like 18, you know?

[Lauren Compton]

Right. You have to be able to grow and learn from mistakes and it doesn't.

[Zach Zucker]

Mean that everybody will with you. And I think that's the hard part is like, you want to be like, oh, I think you will grow with me. But it's like, actually we need to grow away from each other and then maybe we can come back or maybe we won't. But like, in that immediate moment, you have to be honest and be like, yeah, it's not happening right now.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. Well, it sounds like you've had therapy, girl.

[Zach Zucker]

I got therapy right after this shout out to Candace. She's my best friend and she always goes, don't call me that. I'm your therapist. This is a service. But that's just Candace being Candace now. She's the best. I love her. I always go, yep, yep, time to fix my brain. And then I leave. Fixed every time.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

But I unravel quick.

[Lauren Compton]

Sick, dude. I hate hard truths. Like, whenever you say that someone can change, it just might not be with you. It's like, oh, yeah, I'M like, no, but why can't it be with me truly?

[Zach Zucker]

And. And then you're like, oh, is it something that I'm doing? But then the therapy part is like, no, it has nothing to do with you. And that's, I think, to me, even harder to accept where it's like, but I should be able to help and provide something to change this and this person. But, like, it doesn't have anything to do with me. And I can try. You could try all you want, but, like, really removing it and being like, hey, here's the information you've been given from this situation, from your feelings, and from what the person directly tells you or how they act. And then you could choose to keep hitting your head against a wall that is not going to go away.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, well, maybe this time it'll work out. Or you just have to move on. And it sucks. Especially like, when you, you know, I've done. I think I've. I think I've made a choice for a while to keep some of the deeper intimacy away. As a child of divorce and all my friends divorced and all my family divorced.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Being on the road, I was like, ah, maybe I don't want to let folks in. And then when you do, it's like, man, I have to, like, find. It was like eight years since I found somebody that I wanted to share all this stuff with. Now I gotta go another eight years again without this, like, sucks.

[Lauren Compton]

We don't know if it'll be eight years.

[Zach Zucker]

Of course not. Of course not. But you know.

[Lauren Compton]

But you don't know.

[Zach Zucker]

You don't. And I don't know. And I have to. And this is one of those times where Candace will say, hey, just because you think it doesn't mean it's true.

[Lauren Compton]

So that is true.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

What is your biggest pet peeve in a relationship?

[Zach Zucker]

Ooh, I don't know if this is a pet peeve, but something that I had struggled with at times is like, and this maybe makes me. And this is why I was, like, kind of not. I was just being really upfront with people I was meeting where I'm like, hey, I. If I get a call tomorrow, that's like, hey, you need to go to London for three weeks. It's like, I'm like, I have to go do that. And there were times where there's people I was really loving to be with where then I'd be like, hey, we have a festival coming up. Like, I'm about to do 45 shows in the next, like, 26 days. Like, I kind of need to, like, be head down for a little bit. Sometimes people would take it. They would take it personally, and it would weigh on me. And it was really hard because then in these moments, I would start to know, like, oh, man, this isn't gonna work. Because what I'm about to have to go engage in is probably activating some sort of anxious or avoidant or some sort of, like, attachment style here that's now not working. And then me, from Candace's help am able to identify maybe a little earlier on or as it's happening, like, ooh. I think knowing what I'm about to undertake is only going to make this worse. And I've tried, like, I've tried my best a lot of times to, like, put the relationship or put this on the same playing field or the same level as some of the work stuff that I was doing. And then the work would. The work would suffer. And it's like, fuck, I'm like, letting down, you know, 30 people in a company right now. And that was kind of like what I've decided, you know, I've sold my soul to is the stage. Like.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And so I. It's not really a pet peeve because it's nothing wrong with someone. It's just. It's just, like, someone's personal feelings, but, like.

[Lauren Compton]

But it's a problem for you.

[Zach Zucker]

It's a problem for me, yeah. And then it would. And then it would suck because it would just be like, oh, man, this isn't gonna work. And then I think I would sometimes cut things off too early, but it's like, I know what the next few steps are gonna look like, and it's not gonna. This part's probably not gonna get remedied in, like, a way that we both want. So I, like, without you knowing this and without then me trying to, like, overdo it, where it's like, hey, you know, it's not gonna work out. You know, you have to try and find that balance. And it's. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard.

[Lauren Compton]

You know, if you broke up with someone like that, though.

[Zach Zucker]

Baby, baby, I love this. I guess he's a bit French. He started off, like, a bit more kind of like Expendables franchise and then went a bit more French there. Babe, babe, truly, I love the way your hair smells, but, like, I just can't do this. God, I'm fucking. I'm screaming red flags. No.

[Lauren Compton]

How long have you been at your variety show? How long have you been working at this?

[Zach Zucker]

So I have been a traveling performer for about 10 years, and this variety show has been going on for about eight years.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay, so then it is for anyone to think that they can come into your life and derail it. I know from what you've been working at.

[Zach Zucker]

And the bummer is, is that I found somebody who I wanted to be my queen and be the little queen of this little empire with me, and it just. It didn't work out, which is a bummer. And I was like, if I had just been better with my boundaries and been more focused the way that, like, I had been with everybody else, maybe it could have worked better. But I was like, I just, like, actually really cared about somebody for the first time in a while and then, like, threw myself at this person because I was so excited. But yeah, it's been. It's been nice to kind of get back to focusing on the thing that I love. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I get to be around all my friends who love me, and then, you know, I get to have some fun along the way. So it's a nice little. It's a nice little time.

[Lauren Compton]

When I started this podcast, it felt really intimidating. Setting up filming schedule, logos. It was super overwhelming. And every day seemed to introduce a new decision that needed an answer. When you're starting off with something new, it seems like your to do list keeps growing every day with new tasks. And that list can easily begin to overrun your life. Finding the right tool not only helps you out, but it simplifies everything. And that can be a game changer for millions of businesses. That tool is Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of business around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started, Shopify has a ton of helpful tools like design templates, AI, content creation, marketing and inventory resources. Turn your big business idea into. With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.comdate. go to shopify.comdate shopify.comdate how do you feel about love bombing?

[Zach Zucker]

You know, I'm, I'm for it. I'm for it. I think, to me, I think definitely when I was younger, before I was aware of this term, I was like, oh, I've done this a lot and probably in a bad, like, not in like a bad way where I'm like, nasty. But it's like, I've probably just given A lot of this, but I also feel a lot and like, I am a big, big fucking little weenie romantic, you know? And I have a big, stupid heart and a huge fat ass and a little tiny wiener. And I am a big simp and so.

[Lauren Compton]

You sound like a dream.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

We always say Stamtown is a collective of sims with tiny wieners and big hearts. And we don't do drugs or drink alcohol. We just smoke weed and drink beer. And that's our motto. And we're for the kids. Also, obviously, it's not all true, but, you know, I was like.

[Lauren Compton]

But wait, wa. Wait.

[Zach Zucker]

I know.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm like, are we drinking o' tools?

[Zach Zucker]

No, no, no, no. Everyone's. I don't drink, but everybody loves to drink in the squad. Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Let's get into our main course questions. What is your biggest red flag? Like, you. About you? I never know how to ask that question.

[Zach Zucker]

No, it's a good question to ask. I think I am. I think, unintentionally hot and cold. Like, when I have a moment, I'm, like, really excited. And then I have, like, you know, horrible, undiagnosed, unmedicated ADHD and, like, attention focus, and I'm like, ah. And then I can go off into the world. Then, like, five weeks later, like, oh, my God, I haven't said anything, baby. And then I'll come back. And I'm like, yeah, of course. Like, I fudge this. I didn't, like, say anything for a while. My. My. Like, red flag of the red flag. Like, this is where the brain went wrong. And I was like, um, when you said that, my first initial thought was, like, I'm too good of a lover.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, my gosh. You know, I had a guest that came on that said he was too smooth.

[Zach Zucker]

No, it's a nightmare. And I'm like, no, me. I'm a. I just like to say it's fun to, like, monitor my brain when it's like, what could be, like, the worst thing to say here to see how it goes? Like, that was that intrusive thought popping in there.

[Lauren Compton]

But some people are serious.

[Zach Zucker]

I know.

[Lauren Compton]

And then I just don't post them.

[Zach Zucker]

Me, I just get the post of me being like, yeah, I'm a tiny wiener. So. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think your biggest red flag is?

[Lauren Compton]

Um, I require so much attention.

[Zach Zucker]

I love that.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm like a Pomeranian.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Like, I need to be brushed, and I like a fluffy pillow to sit on. And, like, I'm.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm high maintenance, which is fine.

[Lauren Compton]

That's. That's my thing.

[Zach Zucker]

And that's fine.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm high maintenance, but I'm low maintenance.

[Zach Zucker]

I get you.

[Lauren Compton]

So, like, I like all of the attention and I want all the love. Like, bombs away.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Lauren Compton]

But. And then I'm also, like, really easygoing. And if we're clicking, then I'm cool as shit. Yeah, but I need lots of attention.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And if you're not getting it, then. Then I don't know, if you're like me in this way, it's like, oh, well, then I'm a nightmare. And I'm like, oh, then you just think I'm the most annoying person in the world.

[Lauren Compton]

Then I spiral.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Obviously. Look, I'm not giving, like, stable. Yeah, yeah, I'm a. I'm a fucking clown. Like, I can be real with myself. Even as you said, red flags. You know, it's funny, this last girl that I was very deeply in love with, she. She would. We always joke that she was kind of like a show poodle. Same deal as well, where it's like, she's always kind of up on all fours like this, like, needing to be walked and pampered and taken care of. And one thing that she would talk about, and I've been thinking this, this whole podcast is like, she was always talking about how, do you think as a guy, you ever ask women questions? Or do you think that guys, like, don't ask enough or ask enough questions? And this whole time I'm like, first off, am I supposed to be asking questions back? Am I being a bad. Am I being a bad ally and feminist and bad guest by not asking questions? And then I spoke to some of my guy friends about this because we were. We were talking and we're like, hey, has anyone ever brought this up to you? And it's so funny because I don't think it's that guys don't ask women questions. Is that when guys hang out with guys, we don't. We don't know anything about each other. Like my friend Joey, I'll give a shout out to Joey Dardano on here. Joey was saying he was like, to me, a dream night is. I go to my friend's house whose parent who's like one of my closest best friends. I don't know his parents names. I maybe have met his brother or sister once. Don't know anything about them. We go and sit and watch something that we could just go, okay, that's gay. That's stupid. That's hilarious. I Leave. And then I go, wow, that was the best night of my life. And it's like, that's how boys hang out, I think. And then when, you know, again, I love. I'm. I got my hoops in. I'm one of the girlies as well. I love to girly out with the girlies, and it's just a completely different style of hang. And I do love that as well. But, like, I think about this with my boys. Like, we still talk about real stuff, but, like, we never ask a question. We just start saying shit and then don't shut up all night long until one of us is like, all right, I think I need to go to bed now. Dude.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm the opposite.

[Zach Zucker]

You're this way.

[Lauren Compton]

I mean, so if I go and watch a movie with a girlfriend, whether it's at, like, say I invite a friend over and she's like, oh, yeah, let's just order some food and watch a movie. I think we're watching the movie. But she thinks that Sex in the City is just going to be, like, playing in the background and we're going to, like, gossip our faces off.

[Zach Zucker]

It's like, I need to know what camera.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm like, can you shut the fuck up?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm like, I'm trying to find out what happens with Mr. Big here.

[Zach Zucker]

And. Yeah, and there's. We got a lot to get through.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, like, come on here. Like, what are you doing? Why are you talking?

[Zach Zucker]

And that's. Yeah. And that's also. This was this wonderful. Last person that I was with, she was similar way. It's like, when we'd be watching stuff, I'd be like, so. And she'd be like, hey, can you, like, shut the fuck up? There's, like, a movie on right now. Yeah, but I'm here and you're here. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Dude, I'm nuts. I'm absolutely nuts.

[Lauren Compton]

If you want to talk to me, take me out to eat.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Because I can. I can sit down at it like this.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

If we had a meal, like, oh, I could go him.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Just don't turn a movie on.

[Zach Zucker]

Don't turn a movie on.

[Lauren Compton]

That's my ADD where I'm like, yeah. And I'm just, like, tuned in.

[Zach Zucker]

I get you. Because I feel like sometimes I think. I think I like to watch. I like to watch stuff in kind of like a community way where we are kind of also chatting. And like, if. So, like, I watched the White Lotus finale with my. My best friend, Brandon and his boyfriend Eddie shouting them out. And they're sweet, two little dogs. And it's like, I could tell that they were wanting to talk way less than I was. But as stuff's happened, I'm like, yo, are you fucking kidding me? I'm just like, kind of hype manning it a little bit, you know, I'm getting in there with some like and, like, saying stuff. And I could tell that they were not feeling it that way. But they love me and they accept me. But I. I wanted to chat more than I think they were wanting to.

[Lauren Compton]

The only time that you can talk that much when the TV is on is if it's sports fair. If there's a football game, especially baseball. Yeah, maybe basketball. Depends on who's playing. Talk my ear off, please. Distract me from the fucking bullshit that's happening on that's going on the tv.

[Zach Zucker]

Like, anything me, I'm glued to the tv. I'm like, don't talk to me. I have to watch the ball bounce.

[Lauren Compton]

But if Harry Potter is on, shut the fuck up.

[Zach Zucker]

I get you. I get you. That's so funny. I feel like I would. It would be hilarious for us to watch a movie together because I feel like we would clash, but I would find a way. Now that I know this, I would find a way to be like, let me show you that it's actually really fun to talk the entire movie.

[Lauren Compton]

I would attempt it.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Where do you think is the perfect first date place? What do you think? Wait, going out on a first date. What's the perfect move? What would you do? Where would you go?

[Zach Zucker]

Man, this is where I start to show some of my. There's some flags or an experience. I was also called out by this last person because she was like, do you ever, like, go on dates? And I was like, I haven't really, like, gone on dates so much because I just, like, wasn't seeing the pen. Seeing the pen hit the paper. And I'm like, oh, God. Big fucking loser. Tiny wiener. Talks too much, but a legend in bed.

[Lauren Compton]

Want to watch Harry Potter?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Yeah, watch Harry Potter. Reminder to watch Harry Potter tonight. Wondering what happens in fourth one.

[Lauren Compton]

It's just like all my notes, like, what to get at the grocery store. It's just a grocery list growing. It has nothing to do with you.

[Zach Zucker]

$4 DVD bin.

[Lauren Compton]

Harry Potter, like, plastic baggies. 8 ounce 16, question mark.

[Zach Zucker]

16 ounce steak.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm like, oh, shit. Hey.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

What were you saying?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, no, it was good. It was kind of distracting from my lack of answer. I I feel like I'm like, I don't drink so much, so I'm. I don't love to be in a bar, but I obviously, like, I will go anywhere that anyone that I like wants to go. Because I. I'm a people pleaser. I like to make people. I like when people are happy. So it's like, if you have a place that you want to go that you love, fucking bring me there. I'm ready to have the time of my life. I love to go dancing. I don't know. I love to make a fool to myself and move my body around. I also, like, in my heart, just like, love to dance. That's been.

[Lauren Compton]

Where do you go dancing?

[Zach Zucker]

Ideally somewhere where they're playing. Like, look, I love hip hop, so I'll go anywhere, any sort of hip hop.

[Lauren Compton]

Like a club.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm not a club guy, but I would, like. I realize in my mind I'm like, just describing, like, God, like two stepping. I mean, I'll go two stepping for sure, but, like, I'll go. I love to go to places. God, I suck, dude. I love to go to places where I can control the music.

[Lauren Compton]

Where is that? Like a, like Waffle House?

[Zach Zucker]

Like kind of like a. Like, like a green room. My house? Someone else's house. Party was a jukebox.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, okay. Like Spotify and stuff.

[Zach Zucker]

Or just like, if we're.

[Lauren Compton]

Leave it to me to be like, jukebox.

[Zach Zucker]

No. And I also took that and I was like, God, I wish I could run with this. But I did. I did put it. I went. We did. We. There's a bar near a venue that we perform at in Soho in. In New York. And I. They have a jukebox there. And there was a group of people there that like, we were just like, how can we really upset everyone here? And we just. We just. We put on. I mean, I obviously, you know, person aside, and I think we're all allowed to have one. But we played R. Kelly. We played ignition remix like 40 times in a row and just kept putting it in every other song and just watching everyone get, like, really upset with it. And I personally found that to be very funny. And I was rolling that body. You know.

[Lauren Compton]

What is your least favorite song of all time?

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, you know, when you become a clown, everything that's bad starts to become the things that you love. And so there's like nothing that's even like, really bad anymore. But I was like thinking, like, and it can't be my least favorite song if I don't Remember the name of it? But, like, there was the. What was like, Katy Perry had, like, an. Her, like, lady anthem that came out last year. That was truly one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my life. And I just, like, couldn't believe it. And I was like, girl, it seems like. It seems like, like the, like, a men's rights turned, like, we are the problem type guy wrote this song from a female perspective and gave it to you. And it was from, like, 15 years ago. And do you know the one that I'm talking about? Does anyone know this song?

[Lauren Compton]

I don't know.

[Zach Zucker]

It was, like, her lead single, like, last summer. It was like. Oh, maybe it was Woman's World. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's. It's a. It's a tough one. It's a tough one. But I think maybe even beyond that, like, God. I grew up in Chicago and I worked on. Man, I'm really hitting the big ones today. But I grew up in Chicago and I. I worked on a charity with Kanye as a kid, and I, like, obviously looked up to him a bunch. And he had one song on one of his albums called Donda called We Made it, which is probably the, like, it's just like an. It's like, just an unlistenable piece of music. And that I was laughing with my friend about the other day is like, I don't know how anyone could have put that out there and been like, yep. To the masses, you know, like. But there's. I guess there's more. There's, like, genres of music I don't listen to, but I've really been back in my hip hop bag as I've started my little hip hop dance journey lately. And so I've been like, really in my hip hop, R and B era as like, every Jewish kid from the suburbs is. You know, I'm perpetually, like, wanting to be a rapper and a dancer unironically, but ironically, through my comedic characters.

[Lauren Compton]

My least favorite song. Well, that comes to mind is that song. I think it's by M.I.A. the paper planes.

[Zach Zucker]

And it's like da da da da and a. Yep. Oh, yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

So that song, when it came out, it seemed to be everywhere, and that's kind of how, like, hit songs are start.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

You know, you go to a bar and it's playing there. You go in your car and it's on the radio. Like, it's everywhere.

[Zach Zucker]

And then people are remixing it.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, my God. And I went to a bar when this Song had first come out and I had already started hating it. And something about this song, I remember it being the first song I ever truly hated. Like, it would give me a visceral reality. I, like, my eyes would roll in the back of my head and I'd just be like, I hate this song. Yes.

[Zach Zucker]

Ah.

[Lauren Compton]

And I was at this bar and there was a DJ and there was a guy that requested the song. And I heard him request it and he was like, will you play Paper Planes? And I just. Knee jerk reaction. I was like, don't play that song.

[Zach Zucker]

Please don't.

[Lauren Compton]

Please don't play that song. And the guy started getting angry and he was like, I'm requesting this. Obviously, we're in a bar and he's drinking.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

And he's like, I requested the song. I want him to play the song. And I'm like, okay, but I hate that song. And if he plays that song, it's going to be super loud and I can't do it.

[Zach Zucker]

It's me problem for you. And then I'm going to leave.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And then everyone's me pissed because I'm gone. Yeah. I'm not here anymore.

[Lauren Compton]

Anyway. Just. It was like a lot of back and forth and I was just like, are we arguing about this stupid song? This song has gotten so much attention.

[Zach Zucker]

What's also beautiful about that, though, is that that could turn into like a really hot, passionate love affair. Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Good.

[Zach Zucker]

You guys could have made out so hard. I've been like, fuck you. Fuck you.

[Lauren Compton]

I slap him and he's just like, I like you.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

And then he just. Yeah, Mr. Mrs. Smith.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. He pulls out a pillow, you sit on it. Ooh.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm like, ooh, I could be a Pomeranian.

[Zach Zucker]

I think maybe actually my least favorite song. Do you know that guy Benson Boone.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, Selena Gomez's guy.

[Zach Zucker]

No, he's the other.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, no, no, no. He's the American Idol someone.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. And he like, the. That shit, like, absolutely drills my brain. And it's fun. Like, again, it goes. It's to the point now where it's like, funny. But I'm also just like, I have so many talented musical friends in my life that I wish could get even an eighth or a 36th or a hundred billionth of the attention that that is getting. And I don't understand it. And maybe this is me being jaded, but it's true. But I'm just like, this sucks. It's like, obviously sucks. And I, I. Every time that I hear that little thing, like, it. He Also just wears the same shit every time. And I'm just like, brother, you know? Come on.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Wash your clothes.

[Lauren Compton]

Let's go.

[Zach Zucker]

Let's go.

[Lauren Compton]

What is your favorite kind of food?

[Zach Zucker]

I love Mexican food.

[Lauren Compton]

Me too. Do you like sushi?

[Zach Zucker]

I do like sushi.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you think sushi is a good first date?

[Zach Zucker]

I think it is because it's usually not messy. Don't fuck your tum tum up. But, you know, it's like, I made.

[Lauren Compton]

I never even thought about that.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. It's like you get fuller faster with rice. So you can. You can eat some soup. You could eat some edamame. You could go, soup, edamame, maybe some dumplings and some sushi. And you'll have no. No problems. Nothing that would make you gassy or need to go to the bathroom or anything that could impede the later half of a night or.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Make you feel weird. Of course, there's maybe the potential of, like, raw fish or something, but I have never had that problem.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. I feel like you would learn a lot about a person, too, having sushi for the first time.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

First of all, you learn if they like fish or not.

[Zach Zucker]

There you go.

[Lauren Compton]

But it's also a cute food.

[Zach Zucker]

I also. I do think it's a cute food. And you get to. Also, you get to watch someone use chopsticks. And you either get the ick or you get the cute one.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Or you're like, okay, damn, you're cultured. You're well traveled.

[Lauren Compton]

Or you get someone like me who just uses their fingers.

[Zach Zucker]

I love that. I love to eat with my hands.

[Lauren Compton]

I do, too.

[Zach Zucker]

I love it.

[Lauren Compton]

I think sushi is a finger food.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

I pick up all sushi like this. Yeah. And then I put it upside down on my tongue.

[Zach Zucker]

I do it like the cloth.

[Lauren Compton]

Like the cloth.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I always miss it all over myself. Picking up a full cup of soup and dropping the cup in my mouth.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, my God. That'd be really funny.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Cause I. I remember, I like, when I first started dating this most recent person, I took her out to a Mexican restaurant that, like, I prefer a taco truck. Like, I live in la. I'm a truck boy. Again, shout out Juanito's Tacos. It's the best fucking place in the world.

[Lauren Compton]

Is that the one in Echo Park?

[Zach Zucker]

This is one. It's in City Terrace. But there's one in Echo park called Taco Zone that I love, and that's also Shout out Taco Zone. That's in a Vons parking lot kind of Doxing myself. I live around there. Don't see your address. Don't say your address. But I. But I prefer that. That type of Mexican food. But then I. My brother and I went to, like, a nice spot in New York a few years ago, and this girl is, you know, again, she's. She knows her shit. She knows all the best restaurants. She knows all the best bars. She got the fashion down. She. She knows it. And she's taking me. It was funny. Every time we go out anywhere, she's like, hey, so I was thinking about trying here. Like, what do you think? And I'm like, you know, that means nothing to me. Like, it just washes. I'm like, this. I don't. I don't understand any of this. And I. She was like, you know, I. When we first started hanging out, I thought this was just gonna be, like, a little quick little fling, but you seemed, like, really serious about this, so I let you take me out to dinner. And I, like, was like, I gotta take you to this place. And it was, like, truly one of the worst. Like, she was, like. It was really endearing because, like, it sucked. But, like, that. You were so excited, and you wore a shirt with a collar on it, which is not something I'm known to do. And so she was like, that was. That very. That endeared me to you early on in the process. And so I tried, but, you know, that was more as well. I'm like, oh, man, I've got, like, a belly full of, like, nachos and, like, yeah, tacos. And I'm like, not. You know, thankfully, I'm not. Nothing bad is happening, but, you know, I'm fighting external forces. I'd prefer not to be. I don't want to be naked being like, oh, oh, I got enchilada rolling around in there.

[Lauren Compton]

Tell me about clown school.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, I. It's the best. It was the best experience of my life. I was 20 years old, so last year I went. Yeah, I was 20 to 22, and I was there. It's in a small village just outside of Paris called Etampe, La village d' Etamp. And funny enough with Stamp Town. Etampes translates to stamp. So Stamp Town is an homage to our clowns.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, cool.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

How did you hear about clowns? What made you want. Did you travel from here?

[Zach Zucker]

So I was in Los Angeles. I moved at 18 to be a star. I know. Brave knowing no one had no experience. Obviously, it's worked. Yeah. And I. I was working at the UCB theater. And I was like interning there, scrubbing the toilets for free classes. And my night manager worked for Sacha Baron Cohen's company. And Sasha had studied at this clown school. And at the time that I was like interviewing this teacher, Philippe Golia came to America, came to Los Angeles, and I was like, okay, let me use my little good Jewish boy networking skills. Let me go take this workshop so I have something to talk about in the interview. And I went and took this workshop and it just blew my mind. Like, I had never seen anybody approach this, especially after this kind of like bullshit, you know, I was in like a bullshit wankery acting theater conservatoire in LA as well. And I was taking all these like wanky acting classes and I was not really finding my groove and improv and sketch. Like everyone was like, you know, play to the top of your intelligence and play a version of you. And I'm like, I want to play two chopsticks going through a divorce, you know, like, I want to play a cupboard. And they're like, all right, brother, like, chill out. And so I felt way more free in this clown school or in this clown class. And I got the job for Sasha and I had the best time of my life working there. It was like a really unfunny 19 year old, like, living the dream. And I halfway through was like, hey, I want to go to this. Like, this is my dream job, but I want to perform. I want to go to this clown school. And he went, go. So I went and I was supposed to go for six months and then two weeks in, I signed up for the two years and it was 75 of the weirdest people from 40, 45 different countries. Like, you know, it's. It's. It's a bunch of people who have nowhere else to go, but they feel this call and this desire in their heart to be on stage and it's like nothing else works. But I, I know I have this and I know I want to do this. So you end up there. It's like you don't choose to do this. It's like, it sucks. Being a clown is awful. It's a logistical nightmare. You know, my, my costume. I've given myself thrush five times for my costume. It's embarrassing, you know, And I travel with fake dynamite and fake guns and fake money. And on one of my most. With this most recent partner, like, I went to go, she was sick. And I was like, oh, perfect opportunity for Zachy boy to swoop in and be a sweet man here. And she Was like, can you go to this dumpling place around the corner and get me like a dumpling soup? She lives in China or she lived in Chinatown. And I was like. She was like, it's cash only. And I was like, oh, perfect. We just made some money off merch. Reach into my bag, pull out some money. I go to this place in Chinatown, I go to pay for it, and I realize as I give it to them, there's like these like three 60 year old Chinese women putting my money through this money machine. And it's coming out fake. And they're like threatening to call the police and yelling at me because I grabbed my prop money by accident. So I paid with accidentally faked a hundred dollar bills. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. I'm like a character comedian. I promise, like, I promise I have a rubber chicken in my pocket and pockets full condoms that I don't use. And then I ran back to go give her the soup because I finally, like, I finally made it there. And she had to leave because she had to go somewhere else. She had like an appointment so she didn't get to eat her soup. And she was pissed off at me and I was like, this only would, like, this can't happen to anyone else. Yeah, it's a nightmare. And then also it's like sucks to be a clown too, because people are like, oh, you're comedian, like, tell me a joke. And I'm like, oh, I don't. And then I got clowned at TSA in Syracuse. The woman was like, hey, get a load of this guy. He's a comedian, doesn't tell any jokes. And then everyone's cracking up at me and I'm like, this is awful. And then she's like going through my bag. Why do you have all these Oscar awards? And what are all these diet like, what are these fake bullets that you have in here? And I'm like, I promise you, it's like, it's for like a really high art character. Theatrical, comedic, physical performance. You wouldn't understand. So it's a nightmare. But it was, it was the best. It was the best time.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you have a clown name?

[Zach Zucker]

No. One Ick for me. And red flag clowns who make it their whole personality and have names. They're like, I'm. I'm Bucket Magoober. And my. I'm a sad face, white face clown. Get a life. It's embarrassing. It's fucking embarrassing. And you're embarrassing and you're ruining this for all of us. All Right. It's already hard enough to be a clown. Obviously. I didn't speak to my family for 10 years until they accepted this. So, like, I'm working through that. I'm working through the industry. You say clown, that's like saying a slur. No one wants to hear that. So don't make it your life and ruin it for the fucking rest of us.

[Lauren Compton]

So what's your rate for kid parties? I'm kidding.

[Zach Zucker]

It depends. I've never done any. I don't do any I. While Stamp Town is for the kids, we do not do any kid friendly performance.

[Lauren Compton]

I know, I was just kidding.

[Zach Zucker]

But I do want it to be. I do want kids to love it the way that like, I like I. My holy trinity growing up was like Jackass south park and Ollie G. Yeah, it's like the way that I watch that. I hope people somehow have access to our stuff, which they don't because we perform in mostly 21 + environments. But you know, Godspeed.

[Lauren Compton]

That's awesome.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Well, you said that you're a romantic.

[Zach Zucker]

I am.

[Lauren Compton]

What is the sweetest thing you've ever.

[Zach Zucker]

Done for someone I don't know about, like single sweetest? You know, I've like flown. I've flown across and done some big surprises for like people's either birthdays or like big events or moments in life. Most recently for Valentine's, like, you know, just like, I think I can really nail the mix of like romance and fun and like silly where it's like, hey, I'm. I can. I'm a good gift giver because I listen a lot. And I think that maybe comes from performing where it's like, you know, you have that deep listening skill. And I like most recent Valentine's Day, you know, obviously sent. I have a. I have a list of everything this person does and doesn't like. And so I know to make sure to really thread this needle here. And I'm like, again, the more information you can tell me, the more I have to work with because again, I am a clown. I am as dumb as advertised. It is. It is an impediment. It's a nightmare. And so the more I have to work with, like, the more I can, I think, really deliver. And we were, I don't know, it's like this. I don't think this is maybe the most romantic thing I've ever done, but I was really proud of this one was we went out to dinner a few weeks before Valentine's Day and we were. Unfortunately, we had to be Apart for this, I was in Los Angeles and she was in New York, but we were out to dinner in New York before it and there was a woman who was outside on the FaceTime with her friends and she like burst out of the restaurant as we were like waiting to go in. And she went, he bought you a fucking Tesla? No fucking way. He bought you a fucking Tesla. And he was like, oh. And then she like was going on about this. Then she was like, oh my God, by the way, show me those new rock hard titties. I can't believe he bought you these rock hard titties. And I was just like dying being like, yeah, are you hearing this? Like, this is, this is crazy. And so for Valentine's Day. And then also she has, you know. I know, like the wine she likes and the gin she likes and some other things. So like I got her a like humongous like drag, like, like an F size, like fake titties bust that was like a chest plate to put in your stuff. And then I got her like Tesla car keys and then also got her a nice mix of all of her little treats and things that she likes. And then also like leading up to it had gotten her a she. She loves look Rousseau, the, the, the cooking brand. And she was look after like a new kettle. And like, oh, yeah, I got this. I got some like cheese plate. Like really got like, damn, you are.

[Lauren Compton]

A good gift giver, girl. Damn.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm a woman lover.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

I can't help it.

[Lauren Compton]

Has anyone done anything really romantic for you?

[Zach Zucker]

No.

[Lauren Compton]

We need to change that.

[Zach Zucker]

I know. And that's what I'm working. That's what I'm trying. I have a hard time accepting gifts though. And I have a hard time accepting. I don't like my birthday. I usually travel on my birthday, so I'm unavailable for a lot of it. I love a cross country birthday flight. And I just, I struggle with like, okay, I'm talking about my kinks now. I struggle with praise and I struggle to receive positive affirmations or positive, any sort of positivity. I want to know there's like deep love and trust, especially with like my best friends and like my creative partners. Like those are, those have been my partners for the most part. But I struggle to like, I don't know how like I all. I am desperate for praise and attention on stage, but in real life I'm like, yeah, yeah, I get. It's like, oh, well, now what?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

But I would love someone to do something nice and romantic and Sweet for me, you know?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, I'm a good gift giver, too. I'm very romantic. And I have.

[Zach Zucker]

What are some of your favorites that you've done?

[Lauren Compton]

I've talked about a few of them on the show. One time for someone I was with, his birthday, we used to eat sushi all the time. And so I decorated the house like a sushi bar. And I, like, did hanging lanterns, and then I laid on the table and I put sushi all over me.

[Zach Zucker]

Girl, let's go.

[Lauren Compton]

And so he came home, and there was, like, a black curtain, and so he had to open the curtain, and then it was, like, super well lit. And I, like, I'm very theatrical, too. So all of my gifts are, like, theatrical. Like, it's like a show.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

And then I just go down the rabbit hole. Like, I had, like, banana leaves. Like, you know, it wasn't like I could just put sushi on me. I, like, had to have the banana leaves. And then it goes on and on and on and on and on until it's like this, like, voila, like, moment.

[Zach Zucker]

And it's like, well, you're the biggest. You're the gift here. You're the biggest gift on top of all this.

[Lauren Compton]

And it's like, I, like, put it all around the Pomeranian.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, exactly. And you're like, this is the sushi you're getting tonight. You can pick me up with your hand and drop me in your mouth if you want.

[Lauren Compton]

So moments like that, you know, like, I did that, and then I'm trying to think of, like, I. I have done so many. I. I love to cook. And so I've done, like, the stereotypical. Like, I get lingerie. I. So my man now for Christmas, like, two years ago.

[Zach Zucker]

Husband, Boyfriend. Fiance.

[Lauren Compton]

He's my husband. We got married.

[Zach Zucker]

Come on, hubby. Come on.

[Lauren Compton]

But he still hasn't proposed, and I have no ring.

[Zach Zucker]

Got it.

[Lauren Compton]

So got it. But we did go to the courthouse, pulled a number, and he was like, yeah, I'll marry you. And I'm like, yeah, I guess.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, I guess so. Whatever cares. Also on the inside being like, will you do a big thing?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

So, girl, I want to come over and hang out with y' all. I get you. I fully get you.

[Lauren Compton]

I get you. So for my husband, two Christmases ago, I. We go to Michelin star restaurants, and that's, like, our thing. He owns a barbecue restaurant, which is, like, just, like, so casual. But we love going to fancy, fancy, fancy dinners. So I did a. Miss a Michelin star tasting menu. At home. And I, like, even went and had, like, super nice paper and I printed a menu, and then I was wearing lingerie and I cooked, like, I don't know how many.

[Zach Zucker]

Course, everyone who had your chance, like, y' all fudged up. Y' all fudged up for real. This is the dream. This is the dream right here.

[Lauren Compton]

And that was like, his Christmas. One of his Christmas presents. And then.

[Zach Zucker]

And she said, one of one. Not. Not the Christmas present. One of the Christmas presents.

[Lauren Compton]

No, Then I did get.

[Zach Zucker]

So.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, I'll tell you this other one. And then I know we have to go, but this. So I bought someone that I was with. I fucking hate this guy. A coffee machine. And it wasn't just. He loved coffee, like, more than anyone that I've ever met, he loved coffee.

[Zach Zucker]

It's like, all right, get a hobby.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. Like, do we have any else that we like? Yeah, it was no coffee mug coffee. And so I bought him this, like, 1500 Breville coffee machine. I know that one for Christmas. You know, like, grinds the coffee. It has the thing. Like, it's all a thing. And then I gave it to him. And for Christmas, he was like, open mine first. I was like, no, open mine first. And so he opens mine. And then he was like, maybe you shouldn't open mine. And I was like, no, let me have it. And it was a coffee mug. And not only was it a coffee mug, tell me.

[Zach Zucker]

It was, like, one of the funny ones that was kind of crude.

[Lauren Compton]

No, it was. It was a porcelain coffee mug with no handle. So you burn the shit out of your hand when you touch it.

[Zach Zucker]

Aren't men amazing?

[Lauren Compton]

I'm not done. And it was made by a model that he met on Instagram and DM'd her and was like, oh, I like your pottery. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Let me come buy a coffee mug. Never even told her that. It was, like, for me, he just went and bought this co. Like, it was his way to meet up with this model. And he bought a piece of her art. And he. That was my Christmas present.

[Zach Zucker]

And it obviously sucked not to. Like, there was no way. It was.

[Lauren Compton]

It was the worst coffee. It didn't even have a fucking handle. What kind of low IQ model makes a coffee mug with no handle?

[Zach Zucker]

One that a coffee loving idiot will meet on Instagram.

[Lauren Compton]

My God. Three days later, he moved out.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, my God.

[Lauren Compton]

Anyway, good night. Thanks for coming on my podcast.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, obviously. I mean, I feel like we could. Truthfully, we could gab for three and a Half hours. We need to throw on a movie. Oh, man, I don't wanna go. There's so much more to say. I can't believe I started this off by saying, like, yeah, we're like a traveling orgy idiot. Well, I'll never get this.

[Lauren Compton]

No, you started this off by saying, I'm not gonna say too much. Yeah, and then you said you were.

[Zach Zucker]

A travel George and then gushed and then gushed about the person I'm still deeply in love with. Love it. Don't I love it. Don't I love it.

[Lauren Compton]

Thank you.

[Zach Zucker]

Thank you for having me.

[Lauren Compton]

Where can everyone find you so you.

[Zach Zucker]

Guys can find me on the Internet? Ackzucker. On TikTok and Instagram and on our website. I think by the time this comes out, I think I'm gonna be taping a special in New York May 18th and 20th at Bell House. Check it out. And then we're doing another run of shows this year in Scotland, the Edinburgh fringe. We're doing 21 nights of stamp Town. And we're also doing a special one in New York this summer at the Lincoln center on June 28th.

[Lauren Compton]

Fantastic.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Guys, thank you for tuning in to another episode of First Date. We'll see you next time.

[Zach Zucker]

First Date.

[Lauren Compton]

Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner?

[Zach Zucker]

First Date. I can't wait.

[Lauren Compton]

You told your mom about me?

[Zach Zucker]

Just say you're right.

[Lauren Compton]

Delete my number. First Date, your parents are your roommates.

[Zach Zucker]

First Date.