The Family Man w/ Michael Yo | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

Podcast Summary: First Date with Lauren Compton – Episode: The Family Man w/ Michael Yo

Release Date: May 20, 2025

In this engaging episode of "First Date with Lauren Compton", comedian and podcast host Michael Yo joins Lauren for an honest and humorous exploration of his personal life, relationships, and experiences as a family man. The conversation delves into dating challenges, parenting, life changes, and maintaining relationships, all punctuated with witty exchanges and candid insights.

---

1. Introduction and Guest Spotlight

Lauren Compton kicks off the episode by introducing Michael Yo, highlighting his comedy work, his podcast "The Yo Show," and his latest special, "Snack Daddy." Michael expresses appreciation for the show's crew, emphasizing the collaborative effort behind the scenes.

[00:19] Michael Yo: "Thank you for all the hard working people on this show that make you look great."

2. The Art of Taking Compliments

The conversation begins with a playful exchange about compliments. Michael humorously critiques women's tendency to downplay compliments, sharing his own journey towards accepting praise more gracefully.

[01:28] Michael Yo: "I love women. But y' all can't. You can't take a compliment."

3. Personal Reflections on Appearance and Health

Lauren opens up about her past struggles with weight and acne, discussing how her self-perception has improved over time. Michael responds with humor, discussing his own relationship with food and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

[01:58] Lauren Compton: "I've been taking compliments better now. When someone's like, oh my God, you're glowing. I'm like, thank you."

[02:18] Michael Yo: "I just think about you eating a whole watermelon and then shitting the rest of the night."

4. Balancing Family Life and Personal Challenges

Michael shares insights into his life as a father of two, offering advice on parenting and setting healthy boundaries with family members who may struggle.

[03:16] Michael Yo: "My son's eight, my daughter's five. Give me some advice."

[23:07] Michael Yo: "You got to set that boundary."

5. The Move to Las Vegas: A Fresh Start

The duo discusses Michael's decision to relocate from Los Angeles to Las Vegas following his battle with COVID-19 and frustration with rising homelessness in LA. Lauren relates with her own experiences of encountering homelessness in California.

[17:10] Michael Yo: "I live in Las Vegas now. Oh, that's the best place I've ever lived."

[19:00] Lauren Compton: "I opened my door and a homeless person was sleeping on my doorstep."

6. Navigating the Dating Scene and Relationship Red Flags

Michael candidly discusses his experiences with dating apps, particularly Raya, and the challenges of identifying genuine connections versus red flags, such as his encounter with a seemingly straight athlete.

[09:37] Lauren Compton: "You went out with an athlete. How was that?"

[10:18] Michael Yo: "He was horribly secretly gay."

7. Communication and Apology in Relationships

Lauren and Michael delve into effective communication strategies within relationships, emphasizing the importance of sincere apologies and thoughtful responses to conflicts.

[25:29] Michael Yo: "You have to say I'm sorry right away."

[25:52] Lauren Compton: "Can everyone just take that? Take that and do that. That works."

8. Personal Growth and Self-Reflection

Michael reflects on his past selfishness and ego, attributing his personal growth to his experiences as a father and the challenges he faced in his athletic career.

[27:57] Michael Yo: "Oh, man. I am selfish. I learned to."

9. The Proposal: A Romantic Grand Gesture

One of the standout moments is Michael recounting his elaborate and heartfelt proposal to his wife, incorporating surprises like involving their dog and orchestrating a day filled with photoshoots and celebrations.

[48:07] Michael Yo: "I surprised her with our dog... and I took the ring off the dog's neck and I put it on her finger."

[48:12] Lauren Compton: "That's so cute."

10. Playful Banter on Appearance and Relationships

The episode takes a humorous turn as Lauren and Michael discuss societal standards of beauty, including topics like breast augmentation and the evolving preferences in romantic attractions.

[40:41] Lauren Compton: "Well, now that I'm breastfeeding, they're huge."

[42:14] Lauren Compton: "You're sounding gay."

[43:01] Michael Yo: "Mountain biking, you're by yourself, hitting a bunch of bumps. Yeah. Not gay."

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Concluding Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Michael promoting his upcoming shows and Lauren humorously addressing the humorous dynamics of their "first date." Their candid and humorous dialogue offers listeners a blend of heartfelt insights and lighthearted banter, making for an entertaining and relatable episode.

[51:28] Michael Yo: "First Date."

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Where to Find Michael Yo: For more of Michael Yo's work, visit michaelyo.com and catch his special "Snack Daddy" live in New York City at the Gramercy on September 13th or 20th, House of Blues in Houston on September 20th, and Dallas on November 7th.

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This episode of "First Date with Lauren Compton" provides a candid look into Michael Yo's life, blending humor with genuine discussions about relationships, personal growth, and balancing family responsibilities. Whether you're seeking laughs or relatable life experiences, this conversation offers something for everyone.

Transcript

[Lauren Compton]

I'm so excited to see you tonight.

[Michael Yo]

First date, baby. First date.

[Lauren Compton]

I can't wait.

[Michael Yo]

First date. Do you talk anytime soon?

[Lauren Compton]

Soon.

[Michael Yo]

Okay.

[Lauren Compton]

What's up, you guys? Welcome to another podcast of First Date. My guest today is a comedian and he's the host of the yo show podcast. His new special Snack Daddy is available now and you can also catch him on tour. It's a true.

[Michael Yo]

It's a true tour. It's an Asian thing.

[Lauren Compton]

Michael Yeoh.

[Michael Yo]

Yes, I'm here. Woo hoo. Thank. Thank you for all the hard working people on this show that make you look great. Big shout outs to all those people behind the camera.

[Lauren Compton]

I thought you were gonna say all the hardworking people on this show.

[Michael Yo]

No, not you. Them.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, I know.

[Michael Yo]

Because when I walked in, she goes, I just record. And they do everything else.

[Lauren Compton]

They do.

[Michael Yo]

I know. They're so amazing.

[Lauren Compton]

I show up and I talk.

[Michael Yo]

I know.

[Lauren Compton]

And then I leave.

[Michael Yo]

And then podcast.

[Lauren Compton]

And then boom, it happens. And then everything works.

[Michael Yo]

First of all, can we acknowledge your beautiful hair? Yes, yes. So a person on the show, I don't know their names, I didn't get everybody's names, but he complimented your hair. How great it looked. Any, Any, any.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, and he's the one that gave me the compliment.

[Michael Yo]

He did. And he did. Yeah, he gave me.

[Lauren Compton]

And he did.

[Michael Yo]

And he did. He gave you the compliment. And then the first thing, like every woman would say, he complimented how great you look. And you go, I didn't look good last week. Which one? I look bad. See, that's what y' all always trying to find the worst things. That's the problem with women. I love women. But y' all can't. You can't take a compliment. You can't, you can't.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. Well, since I'm. Since I'm not pregnant anymore and I'm not as fat as I was.

[Michael Yo]

Okay.

[Lauren Compton]

I've been taking compliments better now. When someone's like, oh my God, you're glowing. I'm like, thank you.

[Michael Yo]

So you found that disrespectful before when somebody says you're glowing because that means you're.

[Lauren Compton]

I was never glowing.

[Michael Yo]

You weren't. You were miserable.

[Lauren Compton]

I was. I had acne. I was like pudgy.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah, I was crave. What was your crave?

[Lauren Compton]

Fruit.

[Michael Yo]

What?

[Lauren Compton]

Fruit?

[Michael Yo]

That's the worst.

[Lauren Compton]

No.

[Michael Yo]

How are you gonna crave fruit?

[Lauren Compton]

No, it wasn't like, I just craved like an acai bowl.

[Michael Yo]

Okay.

[Lauren Compton]

I wanted like a whole pineapple.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, wow.

[Lauren Compton]

And then I wanted an apple and I Wanted the apple with peanut butter and I wanted everything.

[Michael Yo]

I'm just thinking about. I'm just thinking about you eating a whole watermelon and then shitting the rest of the night. That's all I thought it was. Just everything coming out of you.

[Lauren Compton]

It was just seeds on seeds on seeds. Oh, that's.

[Michael Yo]

That's.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, a lot.

[Michael Yo]

That's. That's a lot.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Hey, welcome to the show.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, so anyway.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah, but that don't.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm taking compliments now.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, great. Well, you look great.

[Lauren Compton]

Thank you.

[Michael Yo]

And your baby is two months.

[Lauren Compton]

Yep.

[Michael Yo]

And that's great. And like, you seem like you have it together.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

No, you don't. No, I get that. No, you don't. No, you don't. It's great, though.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you have kids?

[Michael Yo]

I have two. Eight and five.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay.

[Michael Yo]

My son's eight, My daughter's five.

[Lauren Compton]

Give me some advice.

[Michael Yo]

I would say you're going to get frustrated. You're going to get so angry at them.

[Lauren Compton]

Shake them.

[Michael Yo]

No, don't shake. No shaking.

[Lauren Compton]

Don't shake.

[Michael Yo]

No punching.

[Lauren Compton]

No punching.

[Michael Yo]

Shaking. No throwing.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay.

[Michael Yo]

I don't understand the parents that throw their kids way up in the air. Have you seen these white people? They throw their kids way up in the air to catch them. I'm like, why would you do that? What if you miss? You never see black people do stuff like that. No black person gonna throw their kid up in the air like that. Only white people. White people do some amazing things. I'm sorry you're white, but the only. What I'm saying is I see this in pools. They throw em up every picture.

[Lauren Compton]

That's my husband. He's.

[Michael Yo]

Why? Ask him. Why are you throwing our child in the air? They're not a Frisbee.

[Lauren Compton]

It's fun.

[Michael Yo]

It's fun. Not for them. Not for them. It's fun. And if you drop. Just think how dumb that is. That's it. You could drop them.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

No, no. And another thing, I'm in New York. I go to New York a lot. This is one thing black people do not do. And I'm half black and half Asian. If you're questioning in it, I'm half black.

[Lauren Compton]

Stick around.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah, stick around. No, what they'll do is they'll take pictures with cops. Like, who does? You see this? Tourists. The white tourists will walk up to cops and go, hey, let's take a pic. You'll never see black people walk up the cops and go, let's take a picture. No, it's crazy things, y' all Do.

[Lauren Compton]

But the white people are mostly Europe.

[Michael Yo]

When they're doing other white, They're American white. Y' all just love cops. Like, my wife is white. I know this. My wife.

[Lauren Compton]

I didn't know she do that.

[Michael Yo]

My. I didn't know. My wife got pulled over once, and I was in a car. I never knew you could talk back to cops. And they're okay with that.

[Lauren Compton]

What did she. What happened?

[Michael Yo]

Oh, she asked the cop, was I really speeding? Are you going to show up to court? I don't think I was speeding. You need to look at your radar again. And I'm just like, oh, my God, you can do that. Like, this is amazing. I mean, it blew me away. But she's super white. My wife is like, where are you from?

[Lauren Compton]

She has blonde hair, right?

[Michael Yo]

She's beautiful blonde. But where are you from? Like, what city?

[Lauren Compton]

Mesquite, Texas.

[Michael Yo]

Mesquite. My wife's from Wyoming, so she, like, super white.

[Lauren Compton]

That is really white.

[Michael Yo]

She white. I call her white white. Yeah. And, like, she gets all the privilege. All the privilege.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. But it's great.

[Lauren Compton]

But you love her.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, my gosh. I love her so much. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life.

[Lauren Compton]

How'd you guys meet?

[Michael Yo]

A blind date. A blind. Before that.

[Lauren Compton]

Really?

[Michael Yo]

Before the apps, I was doing a red carpet with Sharon Osborne. I was hosting a breast cancer awareness event, and my mom beat breast cancer three times. So I was hosting this event, and a reporter, Sharon, was trying to call Kelly to hook me up with one of her friends because I was single at the time. And then a reporter overheard us and go, hey, if you're single, I got the perfect girl for you. But she hasn't been out in two years. And I go, what kind of troll is sitting in there doing nothing for two years? And then we met the day after. Valentine's Day. Is amazing. Never wanted to leave each other's side. And we got married two years later on Valentine's Day.

[Lauren Compton]

Really?

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. It's amazing. She's the best.

[Lauren Compton]

Where'd you guys go for your date?

[Michael Yo]

It's a place in LA called. Oh, my God. Blue Jam.

[Lauren Compton]

Blue Jam Cafe.

[Michael Yo]

Blue Jam. Yes, absolutely. Oh, yeah. That's where we went for our first day. Right on. I think it's Melrose or one of those streets.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. So we went there. That was our first date. And it was. It was a breakfast date.

[Lauren Compton]

So to be honest, I like a breakfast date.

[Michael Yo]

I love a breakfast date.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you think that's a good Date for a first date.

[Michael Yo]

It is. It's way better than dinner. Dinner's a lot of pressure, stressing up. It's. It's, you know, the pressure of after.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

How's the night gonna end? Does he pick you up? Does he not pick you up with breakfast? Nobody's going to pick somebody up for breakfast.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

You know, that's weird to pick up somebody on a first date for breakfast. Right. You just meet there, have coffee, have breakfast, and it's good food, and then.

[Lauren Compton]

You can go about your day.

[Michael Yo]

Exactly. Hey, and if you don't like them, you'd be like, oh, well, you know, I got to meet my friends. I got to do that. So you have a whole day of lies. You could. You have a whole day of lies. You could tell at night, you know, what are you going to say? Yeah, like, I don't. Like, you have to be going to work, you know. Did you ever get into the app thing?

[Lauren Compton]

I did.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, really? See, I missed.

[Lauren Compton]

None of it ever worked, though.

[Michael Yo]

Really?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. No, I. Like, I went on dates with people that I would meet on some apps, but I had to exclusively stick to Raya, which is where, like, all the douchebags go.

[Michael Yo]

Why'd you have to stick to Raya?

[Lauren Compton]

Because I would get. My profiles kept getting deleted on the other apps because people kept saying I was catfishing.

[Michael Yo]

Really?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. And I would get reported all the time, and my profiles kept getting deleted.

[Michael Yo]

Because they're, like, really on these apps, trying to find somebody.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Really. What's your. I know who you're. I've seen the guy. Your husband. Ish. Guy?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, my husband.

[Michael Yo]

Husband, ish.

[Lauren Compton]

Well, no, we're married. He still hasn't proposed.

[Michael Yo]

I still haven't married, and he didn't.

[Lauren Compton]

We went to the DMV or the clerk's office or whatever, and we, like, pulled a number, like, at the meat market at the grocery store, and then we just went up, and then some girl sitting behind a screen married us in, like, five minutes.

[Michael Yo]

So you married? Never proposed.

[Lauren Compton]

Never has. Still hasn't proposed.

[Michael Yo]

This because you got pregnant or something?

[Lauren Compton]

Well, so I. It was a week before I gave birth, and I. And I.

[Michael Yo]

He waited. He was like, we're going to make.

[Lauren Compton]

Sure this was not his idea. I was like, you have two options. Either we get married and he can have your last name, or we don't get married and he gets my last name.

[Michael Yo]

Who? What's his last name?

[Lauren Compton]

Black.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, I like that last name. Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

But mine's Compton.

[Michael Yo]

I know. Which is kind of blacker than black.

[Lauren Compton]

I know I'm gangster. I know I'm more gangster.

[Michael Yo]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Lauren Compton]

We'll back it up a little bit.

[Michael Yo]

Come on now. Now you're being ridiculous. She just said I'm gangster.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm so hood.

[Michael Yo]

Yes, you are.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm thug life.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, wait, so Mesquite Tech, did you ever live in LA?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, for 16 years.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. You shot some movies? I saw.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

I do research on people, too. Thank you. I know all about you. Yep. But what type of guys were you into on the apps? Was it the type of guy you're kind of married to, or was it.

[Lauren Compton]

You don't have a choice? No, on the apps, they're on Raya. Remember? It was only Raya.

[Michael Yo]

It's just celebrities, right?

[Lauren Compton]

For people that. Yeah, it was just people in the industry.

[Michael Yo]

Was it real celebrities or was it kind of celebrities?

[Lauren Compton]

It was like, anybody that had more than, like, 2,000 followers on Instagram.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, so my mom is in there, too. My mom's crushing. My mom's on Raya.

[Lauren Compton]

Raya was so lame. It was. It. They really, like, you had to apply, and then they looked at your Instagram profile, and if you were, like, Instagram popular, you got to be on there. And it was mostly, like, people in the entertainment industry or athletes.

[Michael Yo]

So. Athletes. Did you go out with any athletes?

[Lauren Compton]

I did go out with an athlete.

[Michael Yo]

One.

[Lauren Compton]

One.

[Michael Yo]

Okay. How was that?

[Lauren Compton]

Horrible.

[Michael Yo]

Why?

[Lauren Compton]

I just. I think he was secretly gay.

[Michael Yo]

Really?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Why? He didn't want to make out with you or anything. He didn't want to have sex with you.

[Lauren Compton]

He had a gay voice.

[Michael Yo]

And I.

[Lauren Compton]

Had to listen to that shit for.

[Michael Yo]

Like, okay, I'm him, so. No, you're him and I'm you, so what do you want to do tonight?

[Lauren Compton]

No, I can't even. I can't even do it. But he, like, his best friend was gay.

[Michael Yo]

Okay.

[Lauren Compton]

That was a red flag for me.

[Michael Yo]

Okay. Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

A straight guy, male, hangs out with a gay guy, hangs out with a gay guy.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

And then he just.

[Michael Yo]

He just. What sport? What sport?

[Lauren Compton]

He journaled.

[Michael Yo]

He journaled? Oh, he was in touch with his feelings.

[Lauren Compton]

Really in touch with his feelings. Did yoga. Oh, my gosh. When he read my journal, cried hysterically. Hysterically.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, so you journal, too?

[Lauren Compton]

I only journaled because he made me journal. He made me. He was. He thought. He made. He shamed me into making me feel like I wasn't in touch with my feelings and said that I never communicated with him. So I said, fine, and I journaled One time. And I had a pros and a cons list of everything that I liked about him, which was, like, three things. It was like, he has blue eyes. He's male. He is. Okay. And then all the bad things. It went on for, like, 14 pages.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, wow.

[Lauren Compton]

And so he read that one day, crying. When I came home, he was huddled in a corner, bawling his eyes out. And I was like, you're gay.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. Yeah. Did you tell him that When.

[Lauren Compton]

When he finally left.

[Michael Yo]

When he finally left, you're like. You're gay.

[Lauren Compton]

I was like, oh, by the way, you're gay.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. So no intimacy at all?

[Lauren Compton]

Some, but that's.

[Michael Yo]

But not great.

[Lauren Compton]

But it's just like. He probably just liked getting his dick wet. By anything.

[Michael Yo]

By anything. Right? Yeah, Yeah, I got you. Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

I think he was gay.

[Michael Yo]

Okay. We.

[Lauren Compton]

That was my one athlete.

[Michael Yo]

And when you were in bed, did he call you Larry instead of Lauren? He's like, Larry.

[Lauren Compton]

No.

[Michael Yo]

So Amazing Larry.

[Lauren Compton]

God, that would have been so much easier to break up with, though. I wished he would have.

[Michael Yo]

And the problem with athletes, like, they're super ripped, too. Like the specimens.

[Lauren Compton]

But he had, like. Okay, okay. Abs. And he was like a dual athlete.

[Michael Yo]

A dual athlete?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, he was like a pro. Man. I'm gonna give him away. He was a pro mountain biker and a pro skier.

[Michael Yo]

That's not a real athlete, though. I thought you meant, like, a real athlete.

[Lauren Compton]

Like, that's even more offensive than calling him gay.

[Michael Yo]

No, that he rides a bike. A mountain bike.

[Lauren Compton]

I agree.

[Michael Yo]

You know, like athletes to me. I can't believe you just called him a professional athlete. Look, no disrespect to mountain bikers, to.

[Lauren Compton]

All the professional mountain bikers out there.

[Michael Yo]

On a hill somewhere right now, kicking up. Right. No, I thought you meant football, basketball.

[Lauren Compton]

No.

[Michael Yo]

Every guy you dated was white?

[Lauren Compton]

Yes.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, you never taste the flavor? No, no, Never. Okay. All right. I just.

[Lauren Compton]

Vanilla.

[Michael Yo]

Vanilla. Oh, no, no. I'm married. No, but I'm saying. But my wife also married a half black and Asian dude, you know?

[Lauren Compton]

So were you the first half black? Any black?

[Michael Yo]

I never ask. I never ask about. I don't want to know. I do not want to. I don't know how many people my wife slept with or any women I've hooked up with. I used to live in Austin.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you think that you're the first? So you think you're the first or you have an idea that she might be into.

[Michael Yo]

No, I have no idea.

[Lauren Compton]

No idea.

[Michael Yo]

I don't ask. I think that's the most ridiculous question to ask. Tell me about what today they call it body counts or whatever they call it.

[Lauren Compton]

Body count, Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

I would never want to know because I tell people, never ask me that question if you're not prepared to hear mine and you don't want to hear mine, like, you do not want to hear mine at all, you would hate me. So don't start this, okay? You know, like, put it like this. In my 20s, I lived in Miami, south beach, in my. The older I got.

[Lauren Compton]

So that's like four or five hundred people right there.

[Michael Yo]

Right there. And then in Austin, I was a big radio DJ in Austin. Damn. And they even changed my name. I was called Johnny Blaze in Austin because they thought Michael Yeoh was too urban.

[Lauren Compton]

Too urban.

[Michael Yo]

So I called myself Johnny Blaze. And they go, yeah, that's more like it. Even though you probably don't know, but Johnny Blaze's Method Man's, AKA like. So they didn't know it was Wu Tang. Part of Wu Tang, but I called myself Johnny Blaze. So I was on the radio for like five, six years on KHFI here. And, man, this is when south by Southwest was a day, just one day. And I lived across the street from Palmer Auditorium for $600. And it was in. Our radio station was on Barton Springs Road. I never forget. I would walk to work and man, 6th Street.

[Lauren Compton]

You look good for being 120.

[Michael Yo]

I am. Well, I'm half black and Asian. I'm actually 137. You're welcome. You're welcome. No, but I'm old. I'm old, but I take care of myself. But, man, body counts. Like, I. We threw down. Like, I've done my partying where I'm done, you know? Yeah, but Austin has the most beautiful people to me. Beautiful ladies. Yeah, guys, but beautiful ladies, like, in it. They all kind of look the same, but they're all beautiful.

[Lauren Compton]

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[Michael Yo]

I live in Las Vegas now. Oh, that's the best place I've ever lived.

[Lauren Compton]

I have a friend that lives out there and she loves it.

[Michael Yo]

Amazing.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you gamble?

[Michael Yo]

No, I perform on the Strip.

[Lauren Compton]

This is so weird. Everyone that lives in Vegas, they don't. Y' all don't gamble, Y' all don't party, really.

[Michael Yo]

So you ride steers since you live in Texas.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay, touche.

[Michael Yo]

Okay. Okay. No. Well, you may ride a different steer.

[Lauren Compton]

But I guess when I think of Vegas, I don't think of, of doing anything else. When you think of Austin, you think of like music and comedy and other stuff.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. Vegas, though, you think, yes, strip. But there's a whole nother life. It's so family oriented, actually.

[Lauren Compton]

Isn't that wild?

[Michael Yo]

It's crazy. And it's the best thing that's ever happened to me in the family. I love it. I love it. It's the most community I've ever been in. Like, people really like each other there. And what's great too, it's not too left, it's not too right. It's a 50, 50 state.

[Lauren Compton]

Right.

[Michael Yo]

You get to hear everybody's views disagree, but everybody gets along, you know, and you learn. Like, I moved there from la, and as soon as I pull up, this is during election Trump, like the first one, and I pull up into my left and right, I pull up, moving from la, Trump signs. And our house was in the middle. And I'm like, what has happened? It's like, what? And then I met them, the nicest people you ever meet. And then you find out all this political stuff does very. That's very niche. Like, there's extremes on both sides, but most people just want to care about their families they don't care about.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

You know, And I said, and you learn that and then you're like, all right, this is all this, this, the news is all just a show, but in real life, in a 5050 state, it's fantastic, you know?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

When did you guys move to Vegas?

[Michael Yo]

Right after I got out of the hospital from COVID That's when we moved to. Yeah, I was on Rogan a while ago talking about it, but I was one of the first people in the hospital with COVID Almost died.

[Lauren Compton]

Really?

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. And then. And then LA went to shit. There was tons of homeless people in our family.

[Lauren Compton]

I know all that. I moved to Austin right after Covid.

[Michael Yo]

So I moved to Las Vegas. I lived in Studio City right by the bridge. So, you know, it was just like encampments everywhere.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

And I was walking my 3 year old son at the time and a homeless person threw a can at him. And I was like, why am I paying all this money to live in this? They can't even get their ish together. So we moved to Vegas, fell in love, and been living there ever since.

[Lauren Compton]

I had a similar experience where I was living in a house in Venice and I opened my door and a homeless person was sleeping on my doorstep. But I lived. But you know how the houses are in California. Like you can have an expensive house.

[Michael Yo]

Next to a shack next to a.

[Lauren Compton]

On the street and it's like you're. It's not really your property once you walk out the door.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. It's Venice, though. It's so much homeless in Venice. Where. We never saw it, where I lived. But soon as Covid happened, literally the encampments were mocking the neighborhood. They would put. There was one encampment where a guy had a tent. He put glass doors on his tent in a satellite dish. Just the mock, dude. Just the mock that we couldn't do nothing about it.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

And it was a bad time. And then we were just like, I'm done with it. I'm tired of paying all this money to live here. The taxes and everything.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Moved to Vegas and it's like also no tax, no state taxes. Like, it's just a better place to live.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. Well, the closer you get to the beach, the more expensive it is and the more homeless people there are 100%.

[Michael Yo]

Because if you were homeless, wouldn't you want to live close to the beach? Why would you want to live in the city? Put me on a beach. I would be homeless in Hawaii right now if I was homeless. Hawaii. Have you ever met a friend that was homeless? Met a friend, like somebody you grew up with, that you ran across Was homeless.

[Lauren Compton]

That was homeless?

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. No, it's weird.

[Lauren Compton]

I know someone that I think is on the verge of being homeless, but.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, well. But this happened about 20 years ago. I knew him from middle school and high school. I went back to Houston to visit, and I was downtown. We were leaving a Rockets game, and a guy comes up to me and says, can I have some money? And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we made eye contact, and it was like. We flashed. We both flashed back to high school, and that was the first time I was like, oh, my God. Like, And I'm talking about homeless. Homeless. Like, smelled beat up, drugged out, and it was.

[Lauren Compton]

He was on the street.

[Michael Yo]

On the street, and he asked me for money, and literally, I could feel he knew who I was, and he knew I knew who he was. And to see. We both feel very awkward in that moment. And I gave him money, and he goes. And I saw him walk away. He goes, I'll pay you back. I'll pay you back. I go, yeah, yeah. I was like, no, you're not. But. You're not. But it was just a crazy moment to see someone you knew in high school, middle school, and is now homeless. And it was so sad.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

It made me look at homeless people differently, but it was like, it's. If you've never. And I don't want people to experience this, but it's so different experiencing someone you knew. Knew in high school and middle school, and now you see them homeless. It's crazy.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. I have a friend that I used to kind of, like, work with a little bit, and then I didn't talk to him for a while, and he would, like, text me and ask me for money.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

And then it went from, like, being, like, 100 to 200 bucks to, like, $2.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

And I was like, oh, man.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. It's bad, right?

[Lauren Compton]

It's sad. And that was.

[Michael Yo]

That's the only $2, or did you cut them off? You probably. No, I'm serious. Because there's a certain point where you got to say, I'm out.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, I.

[Michael Yo]

You cut them off.

[Lauren Compton]

The last time that I talked to him, I gave him, like, 100 bucks. And I was like, don't ask me for any more money.

[Michael Yo]

Good for you. You got to set that boundary.

[Lauren Compton]

Otherwise, it's like, I'm inviting that into my life.

[Michael Yo]

You're supporting it in a way.

[Lauren Compton]

And it got weird. And it's like, I don't like to have people super close to me. That could also be kind of. That can get scary.

[Michael Yo]

No, it can. 100%. 100%. Well, I'm glad we brought it down, but you know what? You know what? But we're here and we're having fun.

[Lauren Compton]

But that's just true. I mean, that's like straight up facts.

[Michael Yo]

Well, I mean, I've had past friends that I can't hang out with now because of promises I made in middle school, you know?

[Lauren Compton]

Really?

[Michael Yo]

Oh, like, hey, if I make it, I'm gonna take, you know, like middle school. You're young, you're like, oh, if I make it, I'm gonna take care of you. If you make it, you're gonna take care of me. I had a guy 20 years later said, hey, you remember that promise you made to me in middle school?

[Lauren Compton]

You're like, whoa, dude, I haven't talked.

[Michael Yo]

To you in 20 years.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

And just out of blue phone call. It was the craziest thing. Craziest thing.

[Lauren Compton]

Damn.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, I have some questions here.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, bring them on.

[Lauren Compton]

That people have pitched me to ask you.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, bring it.

[Lauren Compton]

Nothing's too crazy, but just people want to know your opinion on some things.

[Michael Yo]

Give it to me.

[Lauren Compton]

What is the best way to fix a fuck up?

[Michael Yo]

Fix a fuck up?

[Lauren Compton]

Like the best way flowers. Like, what are you doing?

[Michael Yo]

Oh, you talking about in a relationship.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. If you mess up.

[Michael Yo]

Oh my God. Well, you always mess up. If you're a guy, you always mess up. Anything you do will mess is a mess up. Like, you can be nice and it's a mess up. You ever. You could compliment your wife and it's a mess up because you complimented the wrong thing. You know, everything. Like, just enjoy the mess up. Like I. What I like to do. This is how this. And guys are so dumb. We're dumb. We do this. But I feel a guy. You have to say I'm sorry right away. Like before I start sentences, I'll be like, I'm sorry. And then I'll say what I gotta say. Like, I apologize before I even say anything to my wife. Because it's. I just feel sorry holds so much weight. But you gotta mean it. You can't be like, well, I'm sorry. Cause then I mean, you don't mean it. You gotta be like. You gotta be like, baby, you know, I know I messed up. And what I said was really mean because I just said it and I didn't think about it and I'm sorry.

[Lauren Compton]

It's okay.

[Michael Yo]

No, but I just want to make sure you're okay because I really didn't mean it. Yeah. And you mean everything to me and I love you so much, and I would hate to ever hurt you like that. So I say it again, I'm sorry.

[Lauren Compton]

Can everyone just take that? Take that and do that. That works. You don't even need flowers if you do that.

[Michael Yo]

You just gotta say it. Like, you mean. So many guys get mad and be like, well, I'm sorry. They're like, well, that doesn't fix it either. Yeah, it's like, I've learned, I've learned, I've learned. Like, my dad's taught me. My parents been married 51 years. I just saw em. They taught. My dad was like, never say the first or second thing that pops into your head. That's how you stay married. Just keep it to yourself. Say that third thing. And literally when my mom says something idiotic, you see my dad counting in his head. He's like, oh, that's great. Yeah, it's like. You literally see, like, okay. But I learned that.

[Lauren Compton]

Well, the first thing is, what the fuck? The second thing is, fuck you. And then the third thing is. Yeah, okay, you're right.

[Michael Yo]

You might have a point there. Yeah, I think. Yeah, I'm dead. No, it's so true. That's the. That's the life advice. Never say the first. If you want to be married, never say the first. As a man now, a woman can say anything they want because we just got to take it. And getting married, you just need to know that. But a man like me, I'm a comic. So I really. With all my friends, with you, I'll say the first thing, you know, but with my wife, she's more. You gotta understand how your wife is too. Like, my wife is very sensitive, beautiful person, selfless person, amazing. But I know she's. She has a kind heart. So I can't attack that where she can say anything to me and I just laugh it off.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

And my mechanism. And that makes her even angrier because I laugh when she's mad, you know, because I think it's funny. But, you know, then you have to follow. And then she's like. And no. And then she's like, well, I didn't say it. Like, my wife gets so angry because instead of saying the first or second thing, I look at her just like, shake my head. She now she says, I can't shake my head. So now I'm like, what am I supposed to do? What? Like, I can't show any. Like, literally, I'll just walk away and shake my head. She goes, why are you shaking your Head. And she's nice and she's beautiful. But, like, that's. Now she has to get used to me shaking my head. Cause I won't say the first. Second thing. Cause you know, our first and second thought could be very mean.

[Lauren Compton]

Of course.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. So say the third.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

That's really great advice.

[Michael Yo]

Thank you.

[Lauren Compton]

What do you think is your personal worst quality?

[Michael Yo]

Oh, man. I am selfish.

[Lauren Compton]

Really?

[Michael Yo]

I'm so selfish. I learned to.

[Lauren Compton]

I wouldn't have guessed that. You don't seem selfish.

[Michael Yo]

I used to be very selfish. And ego. Oh. Big ego back in the day. And then I got out the. I was like, a college athlete. I played football for the University of Arkansas, but I got too many concussions.

[Lauren Compton]

That's not a gay sport.

[Michael Yo]

No, it's not. It's a man's sport.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Even though you put your hands under somebody's ass to get a ball and you hug them. And you hug them and you tap them on the butt.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

And you see them naked in the shower.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

It's not gay, though.

[Lauren Compton]

It's not gay.

[Michael Yo]

No.

[Lauren Compton]

Not gay.

[Michael Yo]

No.

[Lauren Compton]

No.

[Michael Yo]

Mountain bike, you're by yourself, hitting a bunch of bumps. Yeah. Not gay.

[Lauren Compton]

Not gay.

[Michael Yo]

Not gay.

[Lauren Compton]

No.

[Michael Yo]

What was I saying? I forgot.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm sorry.

[Michael Yo]

Football. No.

[Lauren Compton]

Your worst quality. You're selfish.

[Michael Yo]

Selfish. So I had a big ego too, in high school. Cause I was a good athlete. Went to college, got too many concussions. And I saw my dreams disappear about being in the NFL. And that humbled me out. So I know you could have something and lose it right away. So then I've been a different person, but, like, selfish. Oh, well, you can't when you have kids. So that's went away since I had kids. You know, you could be married and.

[Lauren Compton]

Be selfish, but what do you do now? So it's like you've, like, quit smoking, you quit drinking. What's your advice?

[Michael Yo]

Comedy. Getting out the house.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

You know what I mean? Traveling by myself, doing. Going to different cities and stuff. Like, that's what. I enjoy it. But I also miss my family, too. A lot. Like, I don't. Like, I'm very, like. I guess I'm just very. I don't have vices and stuff. I'm boring.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

And that's. That's a great thing to be. Is very. A boring person.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

I have tons of friends that live down here, and they're my age, and they still act like they're 20, but.

[Lauren Compton]

Do they have family?

[Michael Yo]

No.

[Lauren Compton]

That's it.

[Michael Yo]

No. No. But a family takes away your because for the. And you know this now, and you don't really know it until you have a kid, but literally, you would die for something.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

You wouldn't let anybody ever hurt this thing, this child. Right. And until you have a kid, you never know that. You never know. You could have a brother. You could have a sister. It's different. You could have a parent. It's different. When that's you. I'll look still. My kids are 8 and 5. I look at them and go. Look at my wife and go, that's us. Like, we did that.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

It just still blows me away. But I knew when, like, without a doubt, when I would die for them. Die for. Because I don't know if I would die for my wife, you know, but my kids. 100%. 100%. I mean. And you're. You're the same way, right? Like, if somebody said, your husband or kids, you may well take my husband. My kids got to stay. You know? I think every parent would make that choice.

[Lauren Compton]

That's true.

[Michael Yo]

What father is going to be like, all right. A gunman will be like, your wife or your kids be like, well, baby, I love you, but we got to. And the wife will be like, do the kid, save the kids. You know, so. Because we care about our kids. It is so much so. I'm not trying to be. It's just the way it is.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

All right.

[Lauren Compton]

Who's your emergency contact?

[Michael Yo]

Oh, my wife. Not my parents. They're too old. They won't be able to find me. They'll be like, what? What? He's lost. What? Yeah, they're 80 and 74. Oh, man, they're crazy. My parents are crazy. I do a podcast with my parents, and they're bananas like they are. They say the crazy. They're so blunt and honest. Yeah. My wife is my emergency contact for everything. For everything. Because she would understand anything I do. You know, any trouble I would get into, I don't get in trouble. But, yeah, she's mine, not my parents. Like, I won't even let my parents watch my kids because I don't trust them. Never trust any parent over 70. Don't trust them with your kids. They will beat them. They will beat your kid. Because that's how they raise kids. Right. They beat the hell out of us. Well, me at least. And I don't want. Like, I could just see my. And they don't have the patience. No. See my. I let my kids hang out with my wife's parents.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Because they're young. They're like 6065. Like, the vibrant. Like, my. My dad is 80. He don't have the tolerance for kids.

[Lauren Compton]

My first whoa. Moment after I had a kid.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Was when I realized I'm going to be his emergency contact. And when you realize that you are someone else's emergency contact, I'm like, yeah. Oh, my gosh.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Like, suddenly the amount of responsibility that comes with being someone else's emergency contact.

[Michael Yo]

But that's only for mothers. Like, kids are never gonna put their father. That's for mom. Moms hold that burden. Like my son or daughter. When they get my wife, it's mom. It's Mom.

[Lauren Compton]

It's always mom.

[Michael Yo]

It's Mom. Yeah. It's supposed to be Mom.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

It came out of you, you know, if they came out of us, I'm sure it would be dad. Dad. Well, you know.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Mom, you have this thing. They're on your boobs and.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

You know, like, you're breastfeeding and what? They're with you more than the father at the beginning. So. Yes. Like, I get annoyed. You know, like, they'll. My wife will run it, walk in, and they'll be like, I walk in, they don't even look at me. It's fine. It's fine. Fathers get. Let me tell you something. Fathers get no respect anymore. No worries that we don't. Like when our fathers came home, like, people were scared, you know, I walk in the house, nobody's scared. We need to go back to where people scared. I want the respect of walking in my house. And people are, Daddy, so. And they're rushing around trying to fix stuff like that. Like I did.

[Lauren Compton]

That's not what happens.

[Michael Yo]

That's not what happens.

[Lauren Compton]

What happens when you go home?

[Michael Yo]

Nothing. They don't even look at me sometimes.

[Lauren Compton]

They're just. They don't even know. It's just. You just walk in the door.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. It's like. It's like, almost like I'm single. I just want to know how he pays attention. I'm like, this sucks, man. I want some fear when I get home.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Just a little. You don't, like, not scared where he's going to beat me? Scared, Like. Like, oh, my gosh. We. Let's make sure.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, Daddy's home.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah, Daddy's home. Let's make sure. Like, we're. We're going to say hi. At least. If we don't say hi, we could be in trouble.

[Lauren Compton]

They just walk right by you?

[Michael Yo]

No, they're on the couch watching. They don't Even look up, I'm like.

[Lauren Compton]

And I'm the one flipping through the channel.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. I'm the one like, hey, I'm home. They're like. And then without looking at going, hey, dad, no respect. See, it's so wrong. Like, we need to go back. Like, that's one piece of our parents I would bring back is the respect for the father when he came home. And they don't even have to mean it. Just fake it. Just make me feel like I mean something when I walk in the door.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

That's all I want. That's all I want. It's not funny, Lauren.

[Lauren Compton]

I think it's funny. What is the secret? Okay, well, the secret. You kind of answered this one. The secret to longevity is never say.

[Michael Yo]

The first or second thing.

[Lauren Compton]

That's the same. That's the same thing.

[Michael Yo]

It's the thing.

[Lauren Compton]

What is something that you learned from all of your past relationships.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, okay, okay. If you date someone bipolar, let them tell you before they move in. Find that out before they move in. Don't let it be a long distance relationship. You're like, oh, this is great. Then when they move in, they're like, what are you coming home so late for? It's like, who are you? What just happened? Like, literally. Yes. That was a mistake, I would say. Yeah. That was the big one.

[Lauren Compton]

That is. That is.

[Michael Yo]

Cause it's hard, like, when you date long distance, really get to know them more than you would. Because once they move in, it's a completely different story.

[Lauren Compton]

Have you dated a lot of people long distance?

[Michael Yo]

No. Couple? Most of them, like. Most of them. A couple. They. They came out. Most of them came out. Right. Except that one. You know, that was Bad situation.

[Lauren Compton]

What's been. Besides the relationship that you're in now. Besides being married?

[Michael Yo]

Yes.

[Lauren Compton]

Before that. What was the longest term relationship you had?

[Michael Yo]

Maybe a year.

[Lauren Compton]

Really?

[Michael Yo]

Oh, yeah. My motto was play it for life without a wife. That was my thing.

[Lauren Compton]

Plan for life.

[Michael Yo]

No, player for life without a Plan for life, player for life without a wife. That was me. That was the old me, though.

[Lauren Compton]

I can tell, because that was rusty. That was not like the gangster, like.

[Michael Yo]

But back 20 layer for life without a wife.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Like, it doesn't hit the same.

[Lauren Compton]

No, it was. Was like, so, dad. That was like.

[Michael Yo]

It sounded like a dad joke.

[Lauren Compton]

That sounded like. Yeah, like, don't say that ever again. That was the last time you said that.

[Michael Yo]

Are we retiring that on?

[Lauren Compton]

We're letting it go.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, so I can't be in the club like playing for life without a W. No, you're right.

[Lauren Compton]

Don't you feel like that?

[Michael Yo]

Feel it. Dates me.

[Lauren Compton]

That has some cobwebs on it.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. You made me realize that. And that's the whole reason for me coming on this podcast, to find out my faults, obviously. And you're right. You're right 100%. It is so. It is old because nobody says player anymore either.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. Well, what do you call a guy that, like. Yeah. What is a guy?

[Lauren Compton]

Like? A boy.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, a boy for life without a wife.

[Lauren Compton]

Then that's even worse.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Now, what's a boy.

[Lauren Compton]

Is someone you've just fucked.

[Michael Yo]

Well, yeah, I would want to be, like, if I was single, why wouldn't I want to be a fuck boy?

[Lauren Compton]

Right? It's a player. It's a player.

[Michael Yo]

So it's a player.

[Lauren Compton]

A player in these days is a fuck boy. Is a fuck boy. It's someone who's not serious.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, well, shoot, that's fine. I'll be a fuck boy. Like, if I was single fuck boy all day, I would have shirts that say fuck boy. Yeah, fuck boy. That's dope. Dope. I just said dope. I just said dope. That's. Is that too old? You know what that means? That doesn't mean the drug. That means that's bad.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Okay.

[Lauren Compton]

That's cool.

[Michael Yo]

That's cool. You're. You're like. I'm older than you, obviously, but not by much. Not by much. Not by much.

[Lauren Compton]

How old are you?

[Michael Yo]

Huh?

[Lauren Compton]

How old are you?

[Michael Yo]

How old do you think? Well, you know.

[Lauren Compton]

I don't know.

[Michael Yo]

No, tell me how old you think I am. Look into my NBC.

[Lauren Compton]

But it's. It's impossible to tell with a half black, half Asian. No wrinkle. That's right, Guy. That's like, play it for life.

[Michael Yo]

Play it for life without a wife. What? Hold. Tell me. I won't get offended either way.

[Lauren Compton]

47.

[Michael Yo]

47. I'm 60.

[Lauren Compton]

No, you're not. No, you're not.

[Michael Yo]

I'm 60.

[Lauren Compton]

Is he 60? You're not 60.

[Michael Yo]

I'm 60.

[Lauren Compton]

No, YOU'RE not 60. No, YOU're not.

[Michael Yo]

I'm 60.

[Lauren Compton]

Bring it up. Pull it up.

[Michael Yo]

See?

[Lauren Compton]

50.

[Michael Yo]

I. Dude, do I really look 47?

[Lauren Compton]

Yes.

[Michael Yo]

See, here's my thing. I don't know if you can really tell, and maybe because between now 37 and 55, you really can't tell people.

[Lauren Compton]

Maybe not you.

[Michael Yo]

Well, no, because I feel like people take way better care of themselves.

[Lauren Compton]

They're.

[Michael Yo]

Because you're 37.

[Lauren Compton]

No, because now Ozempic is a thing, and I.

[Michael Yo]

But what's that got to do. Oh, people just go, yeah, but that doesn't. You can be thin and look like shit. Yeah. Because your face can still be like.

[Lauren Compton]

I think it. I think that dates people. I think that you lose a lot of weight, but you look old when you do that.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It dates like. It's more about skin care.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Do you use stuff on your face?

[Lauren Compton]

Like what?

[Michael Yo]

Like, stuff.

[Lauren Compton]

Like what stuff?

[Michael Yo]

Like, do you have a.

[Lauren Compton]

Like, makeup? Like, am I wearing makeup?

[Michael Yo]

Do you put cream? Do you put, like.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. I do take care of my skin.

[Michael Yo]

See? Why you acting like that was a weird question?

[Lauren Compton]

Because I didn't know what stuff you meant.

[Michael Yo]

Well, what stuff do you think I meant? Huh? What stuff do you think I meant?

[Lauren Compton]

I thought you were talking about makeup. Did you kind of.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, I think sort of a very dirty mind, I would say.

[Lauren Compton]

I use. I use toner.

[Michael Yo]

I don't care about that.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay. We're not going into the skincare routine.

[Michael Yo]

Care about that. It was just a. Oh, my gosh. She really. I do not care.

[Lauren Compton]

I thought you wanted to know my skin. No, I don't care.

[Michael Yo]

No, I just wanted to know. Do you. Oh, my gosh. I don't care about toner makeup. I was just like. Do you have.

[Lauren Compton]

Do I use stuff?

[Michael Yo]

Do you use a moisturizer?

[Lauren Compton]

Sometimes?

[Michael Yo]

Okay, that's it.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you want to know which one?

[Michael Yo]

No. You've killed this conversation. This is the worst podcast ever. First date. This is a terrible first date. Thank.

[Lauren Compton]

That's okay. You'll still come back. They all do. They all do. It doesn't fucking matter.

[Michael Yo]

They all come.

[Lauren Compton]

It doesn't matter. Blonde hair and big boobs.

[Michael Yo]

Do you feel like your boobs are better now or before?

[Lauren Compton]

Well, now that I'm breastfeeding, they're huge.

[Michael Yo]

Do you like them bigger?

[Lauren Compton]

No.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

No.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. I think boobs are out.

[Lauren Compton]

I disagree.

[Michael Yo]

No, no. I see you wear the little short shirts and all that stuff.

[Lauren Compton]

They're not out.

[Michael Yo]

No. What? I don't think. I don't think guys are impressed with, like, there was a time 10, 15 years ago where, like, every woman wanted big boobs. Now it's not hot anymore.

[Lauren Compton]

You're sounding gay.

[Michael Yo]

No, I'm not gay. No, no, I'm not.

[Lauren Compton]

You're sounding gay.

[Michael Yo]

No, I'm telling you, big boobs are not a thing like they used to be. Ask any guy in their booth.

[Lauren Compton]

Guys Are boobs a thing?

[Michael Yo]

No, I didn't say that.

[Lauren Compton]

I mean, boobs are still a thing.

[Michael Yo]

But they're not as big as they were, like, where every woman wanted them. Oh, I think they've gotten bigger. Oh, they're young. I like it.

[Lauren Compton]

I think that they sound.

[Michael Yo]

Y' all sound horny back there, like you're whacking off. They're like, oh, they're so big. Oh, my God. You hear that? That's gay. There are three dudes in the back. Oh, my God. Each other. They're talking like that to each other. Back. Oh, my God, it's so big. Oh, I like them big. Oh, my God. Anyway, I don't think. I don't. Look, I remember when. And I'm talking about plastic surgery.

[Lauren Compton]

This is like me saying big dicks aren't a thing.

[Michael Yo]

Well, no, dicks and boobs are like, why do y' all always compare boobs to dicks?

[Lauren Compton]

Because you don't have anything else.

[Michael Yo]

When's the last time you ever, like, a dude can't stick their boob into your vagina like you stick a dick in a vagina? What are your boobs? Your boobs have nothing to do with a dick. It's two different purposes.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay.

[Michael Yo]

What I'm saying is boobs used to be a thing where every woman wanted to get implants. I don't think that happens anymore. I. I guarantee you, if you look it up. Look it up. I guarantee you plastic surgery for boobs has gone way down. They're more into the ass. They're more into the. The ripped abs. Ladies. More into fitness. It's not about boobs. It's not about boobs anymore. I know you got big boobs, and you're really offended by that.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm not. Mine are real.

[Michael Yo]

I don't think you are. Okay, don't get mad. I didn't say. Did I ever say they weren't real? She's talking to me like I'm attacking her now. I'm just saying they're not as popular surgery as before.

[Lauren Compton]

Well, I. No, I do agree. I do agree that the ass. Now that we've learned how to do the ass. Yes, that. That is more popular to get done.

[Michael Yo]

But we have some data. Show me the data.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay. Since 1997, the annual number of breast augmentation procedures has increased by 206.8%.

[Michael Yo]

No, no, no, no. That's a wrong stat. That's wrong. Let me know. Let me tell you why. That's because it's 1997.

[Lauren Compton]

You're going to go up against the AI overview on Google.

[Michael Yo]

No, no, see, that's misleading. Let me tell you why more people have it now. Because it was in 1997. It would hurt people. They did it wrong. Now it's a lot cheaper. Now it's a lot. Okay, there's.

[Lauren Compton]

From 2018.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah, but that's coming out of COVID Nobody could do nothing during COVID So now that was zero percent of code. You couldn't get boobs during COVID That was two years.

[Lauren Compton]

So they're saying in 2020, 2021 to 2022, there was a 29% boost in worldwide.

[Michael Yo]

Do you understand? That's during COVID That's. It's. Let me give you an example. Let me give you example. If you. If every store is closed, right? And then it's Covid. So no store is open, but three stores open. That's all the stores that are open even though they. Because the other ones can't.

[Lauren Compton]

Michael, am I.

[Michael Yo]

Am I making sense? No, I'm just saying, when you have none. Oh, I'll put it like this. I'll put it like this. You know, when people release comedy albums, the trick is, is when you release a comedy album, to make it go number one, all you got to do is buy 10 copies at one time. It'll shoot to the top of the chart and people like it's number one. But it's really not. It's only because you bought the most albums that hour.

[Lauren Compton]

I can't wait to read you this next episode.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, my gosh.

[Lauren Compton]

Stop it. While breast augmentation remains the most popular cosmetic procedure. 143,000, 364 breast lift procedures.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, lift is different than breast augmentation, right?

[Lauren Compton]

Yes, it is different.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, so you're talking about two different things, Lauren.

[Lauren Compton]

No, it still says while breast augmentation remains the most popular. It's just saying that the second most popular is breast lift.

[Michael Yo]

I gotta do my own research on this.

[Lauren Compton]

This is Google. This is Google.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, see, they're turning it off. Well, whatever, man. Okay, I just feel it's a lot cheaper to get. But it's not. Okay, okay, do this, do this. This is what I'm saying. If they are getting it, they're not getting the big ones, they're not getting the Ds.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay, so ask AI overview. No, hold on. What is the average size? This is what we're doing. What is the average, average size? Titty.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, before you bring it up, let me make my statement, my whole statement. All along has been. People are not getting them super big anymore. They're not big. Boobs are out. I said that.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Michael Yo]

If they are getting them, that's one thing.

[Lauren Compton]

If they're getting them. Okay.

[Michael Yo]

CB.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay. Average. Average size. Okay. In who knows what 300 and 400 cc's is?

[Michael Yo]

Well, can you.

[Lauren Compton]

What is the. What is the.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. What size is 300 cc?

[Lauren Compton]

3 to 400. CC.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah. Cs. Cs aren't big.

[Lauren Compton]

It's CC.

[Michael Yo]

No, but I'm saying that's probably.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, a C is average.

[Michael Yo]

A cup. See what I said? What I said.

[Lauren Compton]

Now hold on. It says for women with an a cup, a 300cc implant may result in a B or C cup. But with a B cup, which most women are at least a B.

[Michael Yo]

No.

[Lauren Compton]

Yes. A cup is like.

[Michael Yo]

Now you're.

[Lauren Compton]

No, A cup is scary movie A cup. And he punches her in the tit because she's flat chested. Most girls are B cup. So a B cup results in a.

[Michael Yo]

C or D. C. But they don't want Ds anymore. Do you have Ds?

[Lauren Compton]

I'm like a triple D. Are you really? Yeah. Oh, but I'm out.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm no longer. I'm not a Hollywood agent. Called me average.

[Michael Yo]

Did they? Your boobs, the whole shebang, the whole package. Average.

[Lauren Compton]

34 years old, blonde hair, double D boobs. I was average.

[Michael Yo]

Really?

[Lauren Compton]

I was out. I was out.

[Michael Yo]

I can see that.

[Lauren Compton]

They were like.

[Michael Yo]

I understand.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Cause there's so many of you.

[Lauren Compton]

That's what I'm saying.

[Michael Yo]

There's so many.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. I'm like a walking copy. Like, print copy, print copy.

[Michael Yo]

Your new name is Xerox.

[Lauren Compton]

That's what I mean.

[Michael Yo]

That's what you are.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

No, I get it. I understand why you said that. You're not in anymore.

[Lauren Compton]

No, I'm average and I'm out.

[Michael Yo]

But I think you're average and I'm out. Beautiful personality though.

[Lauren Compton]

Thanks. Fuck you too, Michael. You remember how you say the third.

[Michael Yo]

Thing that comes in here? That was the first, I believe. No, I believe that.

[Lauren Compton]

Definitely the first.

[Michael Yo]

No, but I think you're beautiful and kind and average.

[Lauren Compton]

Shut the fuck up. All right, so for my dessert question, let's get you out this goddamn door.

[Michael Yo]

I love it. I love it.

[Lauren Compton]

How did you propose to your wife?

[Michael Yo]

Well, what I did was I surprised.

[Lauren Compton]

Her with a breath augmentation.

[Michael Yo]

No, no, no. Malibu Winery. So I surprised her friend, took her out there and I surprised her with our dog. At the time. It had the ring around his neck. So we go out there and I dropped on one knee and I said, baby, you're the love of my life. I can't live one more day without you. Every day that goes by that we're not married is a wasted day. Will you marry me? And she said yes. And then the next surprise was we went into that. I rented out a house at the Malibu winery. I flew her best friend in, that's a makeup artist, to do her makeup. And I had. I forgot the designer name, but we had, like 20 dresses she could choose from because we took engagement photos right there.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

On Malibu Winey. And then after that, I threw a surprise dinner with her for all her friends and flew in a bunch of her friends from other cities. And we did. I forgot the restaurant, but we did it that night. And it was so amazing because my wife is so giving to other people. And to see her the center of attention, it just made my heart warm. And that's. That's. That was the whole day of proposal to photo shoot, to throwing her a surprise party. And she didn't know any of it.

[Lauren Compton]

But how did the dog come into place?

[Michael Yo]

What do you mean, the dog?

[Lauren Compton]

The dog had the ring around his neck.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, yeah. So he walked up with me.

[Lauren Compton]

So she saw it?

[Michael Yo]

Yes. She saw both of us coming. And I dropped to one knee and I took the ring off the dog's neck and I put.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay, so that's what I was wondering is when.

[Michael Yo]

Yeah, we got video of it. It's so. It's so awesome.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, my God, that's so cute.

[Michael Yo]

That's one thing I am, a romantic. I go above and beyond.

[Lauren Compton]

Has she done anything really romantic for you?

[Michael Yo]

Everything she does, like, you know what? She just is. Like I said, I'm selfish. She's so selfless. Everything I'm good at, I mean, everything I'm terrible at, she's great at. So that's why we're like. Like the perfect.

[Lauren Compton]

You found a really good match.

[Michael Yo]

We did. We did. Did you?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

That's nice. Isn't it great?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. And I met him in person.

[Michael Yo]

I think that that's the key.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Michael Yo]

How'd you meet?

[Lauren Compton]

At his restaurant.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, okay. That's nice. And he. Does he cook steak?

[Lauren Compton]

He owns a barbecue restaurant. So he cooks meat.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, I. It sounded way more romantic. You shouldn't have said the barbecue part, because I was thinking five star restaurant, Michelin star restaurant. He owns a barbecue joint?

[Lauren Compton]

No, he owns a barbecue joint.

[Michael Yo]

That's great.

[Lauren Compton]

What's it Called Terry Blacks.

[Michael Yo]

Is it?

[Lauren Compton]

Here it is.

[Michael Yo]

I'll go. I want to go. I love barbecue.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, if you want to go, I'll hook you up.

[Michael Yo]

All right, cool. I don't.

[Lauren Compton]

Do you like barbecue?

[Michael Yo]

I love barbecue.

[Lauren Compton]

No, I'm going to hook you up.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, thank you.

[Lauren Compton]

Just say thank you. Take a compliment.

[Michael Yo]

Okay, you know what? Chill out with your boobs, okay? Just because big boobs are out and you're mad about it. God. I've never said. You act anyway. You act like I attacked your boobs.

[Lauren Compton]

No, I didn't.

[Michael Yo]

I just said. There. It's not.

[Lauren Compton]

You just called me average.

[Michael Yo]

No, no.

[Lauren Compton]

You said I was out.

[Michael Yo]

No, Your agent called you average and I just agreed with him.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay, fair. I'm not offended, though.

[Michael Yo]

No, you shouldn't be. You shouldn't at all. I'm not. I feel great.

[Lauren Compton]

I would have you back for a second date. Thank you. Can I get a thank you?

[Michael Yo]

Thank you.

[Lauren Compton]

You're welcome. Well, you guys, this is. Where can people find you? Oh.

[Michael Yo]

Michaelyoh.com for everything. Michaelyo.com watch my special snack daddy in New York City. I will be in New York City at the Gramercy September 13th or 20th. And then House of Blues September 20th in Houston. And November 7th, House of Blues in Dallas.

[Lauren Compton]

Hell, yeah.

[Michael Yo]

Hell, yeah. You better come out with your big boobs.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. Take your big boobs and your big fake ass to Michael Yo's show and don't be average. Don't be average. Be a play up a life.

[Michael Yo]

Oh, no. Stop.

[Lauren Compton]

All right, you guys, thank you so much for watching another great episode of First Date. We'll see you next time.

[Michael Yo]

First Date.

[Lauren Compton]

Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner?

[Michael Yo]

First Date.

[Lauren Compton]

I can't wait. You told your mom about me?

[Michael Yo]

Just say you're ready.

[Lauren Compton]

Delete my number. First date, your parents are your roommates.

[Michael Yo]

First Date.