The Harsh Truth About Dating Younger Men w/ Zainab Johnson | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast Title: First Date with Lauren Compton

Episode: The Harsh Truth About Dating Younger Men w/ Zainab Johnson
Host: Lauren Compton (A)
Guest: Zainab Johnson (B)
Release Date: January 27, 2026
Studio: YMH Studios

---

Overview

This episode dives deep into the complexities of modern dating, especially as experienced by women in comedy. Lauren Compton, comedian and content creator, sits down with stand-up comic Zainab Johnson for a vulnerable and hilarious conversation about red flags, green flags, the harsh realities of dating younger men, the importance of honesty and communication, and how self-preservation shapes modern relationships. The two comedians share stories, compare notes on emotional pacing, and break down what makes a person truly "dateable"—all while maintaining quick wit and candid self-reflection.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dating, Relationships, and Emotional Self-Preservation

Timestamps: 01:44 – 04:35

• Relationship Status & Experience

  • Zainab reveals she’s been single for some years but has dated; distinguishes between ‘dating’ and being ‘in a relationship’. Labels to her mean intent towards something deeper.
  • Both discuss the tendency to end things when they no longer feel right, with Zainab admitting:

    "If I get even a little bit uncomfortable, just a little bit, I'll be like, I don't like how this feels, so I'm gonna go." (03:40 — Zainab)

• Self-Protective Dating Behaviors:

  • Zainab describes her habit of leaving first (“runner”) and always wanting to rip the band-aid off if things feel off.
  • She seeks clarity and directness, preferring uncomfortable truths over drawn-out uncertainty.

2. The Value (and Cost) of Brutal Honesty

Timestamps: 04:51 – 10:15

• Wishing for More "Honest Mode" in Relationships:

  • Zainab jokes about wishing she and others could just "activate the spectrum" (i.e., have the directness sometimes found in people on the autism spectrum).
  • Both reflect on how being direct can actually lead to positive outcomes (or at least save wasted time), even if it’s harsh to hear:

    "Just, I'm a rip the band aid off type of person, which is probably why I go to you and be like, hey, what's... Like, I don't..." (08:16 — Zainab)

• Clarity as a Gift and a Challenge:

  • Lauren marvels at Zainab's ability to directly state what she feels and expects, and how that can send people into “deep thought.”

3. Finding "Cool, Confident, Straightforward" Men—And Why It's Hard

Timestamps: 13:57 – 14:56

• The Elusive “Dateable” Guy:
  • Zainab names confident and straightforward men as her type, but laments how rare it is to actually find men who aren’t just fronting at first.
  • She suspects men often feign directness out of a misguided sense of sparing women’s feelings:

    "I just feel like guys kind of don't want to hurt girls feelings. Like they think we're fragile in that way." (14:47 — Zainab)

4. Dating Younger Men: Fantasy vs. Reality

Timestamps: 16:42 – 22:24

• Delusion in Dating Markets & Younger Men’s Expectations:

  • Zainab shares a DM from a much younger man, which went from sincere to crass:

    "'Will you let me put a baby in you?' and that's where he lost me." (18:57 — Zainab)

  • She points out that many younger men claim to “love older women” but it’s often a superficial or situational preference.

    "No, you don't. You just like me right now. If I were… a Martian, they'd be like, but I love Martians!" (20:42 — Zainab)

• The Problem with Overt Sexuality & Family Expectations:

  • Zainab stresses the importance of real talk about age, fertility, and family expectations, but insists delivery matters: crude pick-up lines are a huge turn-off.

5. Red Flags, Emotional Patterns, and Communication Habits

Timestamps: 22:47 – 26:10

• Personal Red Flags:

  • Zainab admits she can go from “hot to cold” quickly in romantic relationships, sometimes shutting down or going silent, despite being otherwise communicative and rational with friends/family.

    “There’s times where I’ll just go silent, man.” (24:22 — Zainab)

  • This emotional self-control (or lack thereof) can make her seem guarded or hard to read.

• Relationship Endings & Moving On:

  • Once Zainab loses romantic desire for someone, it “rarely comes back,” and she doesn’t believe in revisiting exes.

6. Attraction, Aging, and Perception: The “Getting Ugly” Moment

Timestamps: 27:45 – 36:00

• Losing Attraction and the Irreplaceable “Cute” Factor:

  • Discussion about how, once someone loses their appeal (“gets ugly” in your eyes), it’s hard to recover.
  • Zainab:

    “That’s the worst thing—for me to stop thinking you cute.” (27:50 — Zainab)

• Double Standards on Attractiveness Over Time:

  • Both discuss how men often age into “debonair,” while women don’t have a direct equivalent unless they remain conventionally beautiful (see: Halle Berry as an exception).

• Humor vs. Beauty:

  • Lauren asks which Zainab would rather lose in a partner’s eyes—funniness or beauty?

    “For my ex, I’d rather him think I’m beautiful… I prefer a million people to think that I’m funny and for him… to think I’m beautiful.” (34:13 — Zainab)

7. Dealbreakers & Dating Hygiene

Timestamps: 36:41 – 41:00

• Dealbreakers:

  • Obvious dealbreakers: lying, abuse.
  • Specific: bad hygiene or “having a smell”—anything from dirty fingernails to questionable dentist habits is an immediate no.

• Dating Story – Snaggletooth Guy:

  • Lauren shares a story about a guy with a removable fake tooth, which at first is funny until his behavior turns her off (caught making out with someone else at a bar).
  • Key lesson: Once turned off, flaws become magnified.

• Notions of Exclusivity:

  • Lauren admits, after several early dates, she expects a degree of exclusivity, especially if physical intimacy is involved, and that seeing someone she’s dating kiss others “fizzles the desire.”

8. Communication and Expectations in Early Dating

Timestamps: 45:52 – 47:00

• Need for Expressed Exclusivity:
  • Zainab highlights the need for explicit communication of expectations, not assuming shared values after just a few dates:

    “You had an expectation that wasn’t quite communicated.” (46:37 — Zainab)

9. Attraction, Social Perceptions, and Romantic Gestures

Timestamps: 48:47 – 54:16

• Social Impressions Matter:

  • Zainab tells a story about instantly losing interest in a crush after seeing him with a woman whose “whole boob” was out and not being cared for.

• Most Romantic Gestures:

  • Grand gestures are nice, but Zainab is most moved when someone pays attention, remembers details, offers support for her career (writing down a bit she says), or shows authentic, individualized care.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Ending Things Early:

  “If I get even a little bit uncomfortable… I’ll be like, I don’t like how this feels so I’m gonna go.”
  (03:39 — Zainab)

• On Brutal Honesty in Dating:

  “I wish we all had a little bit of, like, Asperger’s… you can just press a button… somebody just tells the truth and you can just accept it…”
  (07:09 — Zainab)

• On Men Claiming to “Love Older Women”:

  “No, you don’t. You just like me right now. If I was a Martian, they’d be like, ‘but I love Martians!’”
  (20:42 — Zainab)

• On the Crude DMs:

  “‘Will you let me put a baby in you?’ and that’s where he lost me.”
  (18:57 — Zainab)

• On What Truly Moves Her:

  “To me, the thing that comes across as the most romantic to me is if you show up for me or if I feel like seen and heard by you.”
  (52:05 — Zainab)

• On Exclusivity and Communication:

  “You had an expectation that wasn’t quite communicated.”
  (46:37 — Zainab)

---

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [01:44] Zainab’s relationship history and approach to endings
• [03:08] Outgrowing relationships and leaving before getting hurt
• [04:51] Issues with communication and wishing for directness
• [13:57] Defining her “type” and struggles with straightforward men
• [18:57] Younger man’s crude DM story
• [22:47] Biggest red flags and self-acknowledged flaws
• [27:45] Losing attraction—"getting ugly" to each other
• [34:13] Would you rather your ex think you’re beautiful or funny?
• [36:41] Top dealbreaker: bad hygiene or a personal “smell”
• [39:29] Lauren’s “snaggletooth guy” story
• [45:52] Conversation on communication, exclusivity, early expectations
• [48:47] How social perceptions can instantly kill attraction
• [52:05] What counts as most romantic (paid attention, career support)
• [54:20] Where to find Zainab (social handles, website, live shows)

---

Tone & Style

Candid, comedic, at times raw but always engaging. Both speakers blend humor and vulnerability, sharing personal anecdotes without sugarcoating the awkward—and sometimes painful—realities of dating. The banter is light but the insights are often profound.

---

Summary for First-time Listeners

This episode is a masterclass in honest, humorous, and sometimes uncomfortable reflections on dating—particularly as a woman, as a comedian, and as someone who refuses to tolerate emotional games or lack of hygiene. Lauren and Zainab’s conversation is accessible yet eye-opening, offering both laughs and real talk for anyone navigating the modern dating world. Expect plenty of memorable one-liners, relatable stories, and meaningful advice about knowing your worth, setting boundaries, and pursuing genuine connection.

Transcript

[A]

I'm so excited to see you tonight. First Date, baby. First date. I can't wait. First date. What's up, you guys? Thank you for tuning in to another fabulous episode of First Date. My guest today is a stand up comic touring all over the country. You can see her live anywhere. Give it up for Zainab Johnson. Hey.

[B]

Yay. I guess I could have clapped for myself.

[A]

Of course. Always clap for yourself. You were asking me if I've always lived in Austin.

[B]

Yes. Yes. Yes.

[A]

I was born in Dallas.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then I moved to LA for, like, 16 years.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And then I moved to Austin, like, five years ago.

[B]

Did you move to Austin during the pandemic?

[A]

Right after.

[B]

Okay, that makes sense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you were like, no, we moved actually the end of 2019, that would be like, oh, okay. Wild. You must have really wanted to, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I came out here at the very end of COVID Yeah, it was still kind of going on, I guess, a little bit, but it wasn't anything crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where do you live?

[B]

I live in la.

[A]

Do you like it?

[B]

I do. I'm from New York, so it's very different, but I've been in LA for a long enough amount of time now, and, yeah, it's cool. Like, you know, LA is like, you go as fast or as slow as you want, you know? And I like that about the city where I feel like New York, that's not an option.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like New York is, like, it's. So whether you like it or not. But then when I go to, like, places that all they offer is slow. I'm like, you got to get me out of here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah. Are you dating anybody?

[B]

I'm not dating anyone right now.

[A]

When was your last relationship?

[B]

My last relationship was a few years ago.

[A]

So you've been single for a minute.

[B]

Yeah, but I've dated people. But, like, I don't know. Are relationships and dating different? I think that they are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, a relationship is like a tie that you have with someone.

[B]

Well, I think there's, like, labels, too. Like. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, you officially call someone, like, your boyfriend or your girlfriend.

[A]

Right.

[B]

With the hopes that it progresses to something else. Yeah. But so far, mine has just ended at. It goes from boyfriend, girlfriend to ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, which is totally fine.

[A]

Is there a common thread why they end?

[B]

Oh, wow. If I. If I. Okay, let me see a quick answer. I would probably say, I don't know, like, they haven't been, like, cheating or, like, that's over with. That's. So far in the past. I haven't had those experiences. Experiences in a while.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, where you just feel, like, distrustful of somebody, or I think sometimes they just outgrow. Like, you just. You just recognize, like, oh, I like this person. I'm having fun. But we don't. We're really not on the same page long term.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or I think this happens to a lot of women. So much so that it's probably cliche at this point, in my opinion. It is like, you realize, like, whew, I'm a bit foolish, Further ahead of this guy than I'm comfortable with. And then I think maybe, like, really, really deep, deep, deep down inside, I think I get a little bit scared. And I'll always call it quits before you can call it quits. If I get even a little bit uncomfortable, just a little bit, I'll be like, I don't like how this feels, so I'm gonna go.

[A]

Tell me you make the face too.

[B]

Where you're like, sorry, I don't. I probably don't make that face. I don't know what face I make.

[A]

But I would make that face because it's like, the. Ooh, how are you gonna take that? Yeah, it's true.

[B]

But you know what? No, I definitely don't make that face. I think I make the face of, like, so please convince me to stay.

[A]

Yeah, that's even harder.

[B]

But if they don't convince, like, I've had, like. Like, I've had one. So. So it backfired on me. I did it one time. I was like, I'm being honest in a moment when I'm saying, like, I don't like how this feels. Right. I am under the assumption that relationships are supposed to feel good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when they stop feeling good, I'm like, we have to talk about it. Right. Am I. I mean, the reason why I'm asking you, and these are not rhetorical questions, is I'm asking people who seemingly are in successful relationships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So maybe. Maybe there's something that. I don't know. But, like, sometimes when it stops feeling good to me, I'll go to the other. I'll go to the guy and be like, hey, this doesn't feel good to me. Does it feel good to you? And there have been times where the guy's like, I feel great. And then there's times where the guy is like, well, now that you mention it. And now that you mention it, that sends me. That sends me over. Yeah. It makes me so upset.

[A]

But I think it's such a mature way that you go about it where you're like, this doesn't feel good. See, I go up to my husband and I'm like, hey, dickweed, what's your problem? Like, if he has any kind of like. And then he'll just like, straight tell me, like, what's up. Yeah, but I guess that's different than what you're saying. But if I. Cuz we've been married for like four years, so. So every now and then, I mean, it's not like. How do I explain it? Like, sometimes he'll just want to, like, do his own thing, like work on his computer or whatever. And then I'm like, you're not giving me attention. You don't love me anymore.

[B]

Uhhuh. So I think if you had. I think that the equivalent would be if it got so consistently that. That you were like, are we. Am I considering divorce? Oh, do you get what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, if somebody's just in a mood or something that I'm seeing, I'll just say. I'll be like, oh, okay. It seems like you need space. Or it seems like you. Are you okay? All right, well, I'm here. Let me know if you.

[A]

I see what you're saying. Do you know what I'm saying?

[B]

But I'm talking about when it starts to consistently feel like the patterns have changed and maybe I didn't get the memo. I got it, you know, and it's like, if I. So if I didn't get the memo, I'm not gonna sit here. Like, I could imagine what's. I could assume I could try to figure it out myself, but I could just go right to the source and be like, hey, am I crazy?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is this all happening on only my end?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because maybe it's something with me, Right? Or like, are you feeling this too? Or is this. Is this. Am I right to be feeling like something has shifted? You know, and then that's their opportunity to, you know, tell you what they're feeling. Yeah. To either calm my, you know, fear or discomfort or comfort my discomfort, or be like, yeah, I don't like you no more. I mean, don't say it like that, but I, you know, although I do wish that we could. I do wish that we all had a little bit of, like, Asperger's. I know you ain't supposed to say that, but I do. I wish that we all had a little bit of it and like, it can Activate it, like, shows up to protect us. You know what I'm saying? Like, when somebody just tells the truth and you can just accept it, like, without the emotion of it. Like, okay, that was the truth, and I don't need to be in my feelings. Like, I just wish that we could just be, like, press a button, like, spectrum, you know?

[A]

You know, like, yeah, the truth will set you free.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, the truth will also set you free of me.

[B]

So I choose your words wisely. Yeah, I would appreciate that, though. I'll be very honest with you. I would prefer, even if a guy was a bit harsh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you whack. I don't like you. I don't. You know, I would rather that than he just string me along and be, like, an idiot, you know, like, give me false hope. And that is worse. Just. I'm a rip the band aid off type of person, which is probably why I go to you and be like, hey, what's. Like, I don't. Like, I'm. I'm. I'm like, I'll be bratty maybe once. You know, like, I won't return your. I'll, like, get distant for, like, a day, and then you'll be like, hey, what's up? And I'll be like, okay, I'll just have to say the truth. This doesn't feel good. So I just. I didn't feel like talking, but I need to be better. So does it not feel good to you? Do you want to stop? You want to keep going? Okay, we could try to keep going again.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But then when we keep going, if I have to come back to you for the stop, I'll be like. So last time I asked you if we should stop, and you said we.

[A]

Wanted to keep going.

[B]

You said we wanted to keep going, and we. We went, and I just. I don't foresee a positive destination.

[A]

You're too good at this. Like, that's the kind of text message where I would read that in my car, and just, like, I'd read it and I'd put it in my lap, and I'd be like, how do I respond to this? And then I'd, like, start driving, and then I'd pull over, and I'd, like, start to write a text, and I'd be like, no, that's not the answer. And then I, like, you're sending people into, like, deep thought because you're so straightforward and, like, you're wording.

[B]

Yeah. But you're great with it in the pursuit of clarity.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I Don't think most people are that clear.

[B]

And which is why I would like us all to have a little bit of that thing that helps us. I mean, you know, it helps us, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I was like doing. I did a show. I did like a show at a college and some, you know, a comedian opened up and opened up for me and he talked about having Asperger's. You know, he obviously, you know, he still said it. Cause he can say it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so the. As I was talking to, like, the girls in the audience, you know, this girl's like, she's single. And I'm like, what do you look for? And she's like, I just don't want nobody to lie to me. I'm like, you should be dating him. He couldn't lie if he tried. You know, you're missing your. You guys are missing the signals. They're your man. Go get them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know. Yeah, yeah. So maybe that's the reason why I'm single. I kind of pull out, you know.

[A]

If it like that one giggle on.

[B]

The back, I kind of, you know, I'll run, but I'm not, you know, it's weird, right? Because it's like somebody that's straightforward. You wouldn't think that they're a runner, but I just, I think sometimes I'm just like, this guy seems like he's gonna be too weak to break to hurt my feelings.

[A]

What's your type? Health, wellness and GLP1s have been a hot topic for a while now. It's incredible to witness the results people are seeing from using GLP1s. And yes, there's the weight loss part. But what really stood out to me is how much better people feel overall. Improved energy, more confidence, and better biometrics as a whole. Today's sponsor, RO offers the first FDA approved GLP1 pill for weight loss at the lowest cost around. It has the same weight loss ingredient as the shot and packs comparable results. The robody membership includes access to FDA approved GLP1s, unlimited provider messaging, side effect management, and more, all for just $45 for your first month and $145 per month after that. The ROE membership fee excludes the cost of GLP1 medication. I love what RO is doing with this. I'm a huge supporter of the pill. Go to ro co first date to see if you're eligible for the new glp1 pill on ro. That's r o co sl first date to get started on roe. Go to roe co safety for boxed warnings and full safety information about glp1 medications. It's the time of year to reflect on how far you've come and how much further you want to go. With the new year right around the corner, it's time to let go of the excuses and start your business with Shopify. We've been using Shopify at YMH for forever here and we love it. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners just getting started. Shopify has everything you need to sell online and in person. They have hundreds of templates to match your brand and built in AI tools to help you write headlines, descriptions and even edit product photos. Marketing is built in too, so you can create email and social campaigns that reach customers and grow as you do. You can handle orders and expand to new markets all from the same dashboard. In 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.comdate. go to shopify.comdate that's shopify.comdate here. Your first this new year with Shopify on your side.

[B]

I like a cool, confident, straightforward guy.

[A]

Where do you find that kind of guy?

[B]

It's kind of hard because they kind of show up like that at first, right? Because. Because they kind of show up like that at first and then they slowly. You know, I just think, I think guys, I. I don't know where to find those guys. Cause if I knew I would go and I don't know where to find those guys. Cause I feel like if I found that guy I would be telling you like I'm expecting my second kid, you know. But I just feel like guys kind of don't want to hurt girls feelings. Like they think we're fragile in that way. And I think that that's like a. I don't know if that's like a cop out or if they're really. If they really think they're being like empathetic. But I don't need it. I want you to be like, nah, I don't like you.

[A]

Next then you're gonna be like wait.

[B]

No, I'm just kidding. I'm gonna be like whew, it was rough. But thank you for not wasting my time.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Do you meet people in person? Typically?

[B]

Yeah, I meet people a lot in person. Guys come to my shows.

[A]

Do you like that?

[B]

Yes and no. I like it when they are just at the show and had no idea who I was and they had the show they're at the show and they're like, oh, like, you know, oh, wait, who's this person? It's very impromptu. Everything is spontaneous. Right. I don't quite like it if, like, they've been a fan for a long time, and I finally get to their city, and then they sit front row, and then they're like, you know, they can be a bit interrupt, you know, Disruptive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, yeah, I don't. But I only don't like it because I don't. Ain't nobody showed up that I liked, if we're being honest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you get what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If it were, like, just a bunch of fine, successful, intelligent, eligible bachelors that know how to cook and are healthy and, you know, all of those things just at my show, like, you know, hey, yeah, then I'd be polyamorous. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But, like, this is this. I'm always hesitant to say this because it sounds so mean, but again, to go back to just, like, pure honesty. Like, I'm quite amazed at the delusion that exists in some of the people that ask me out.

[A]

What do they say or what do they do?

[B]

Okay, prime example. This. This guy sent me a message, right? And he says, hey, would you ever consider marrying a younger guy? And I said, you know, first I kind of looked at his profile and, you know, to see, like, do I even want to respond? Right? And so then I said, how much younger? After I looked at his profile, I said, how much younger? And he told me the year that he was born, which was maybe, like, eight years younger than me. And I said, so I didn't follow up with a yes or no. I responded with, would you ever consider marrying an older woman? And then I wrote, would your family be okay with you marrying an older woman? And he's. And I asked that very specifically because people like to get into conversations, and I can get serious real quick. I'm a person. Whenever you're ready to tell the truth, sit at the table with me. I won't shy away from. I'm not really the flirty girl. Like, I'm not gonna be going back and forth in the messages with you. Like, you know, like, well, I'm. I mean, I'm young at heart. Like, nobody's doing that. Nobody's doing that. But if you. If you want to get into the thick of it immediately, I'm your girl, you know? And so. And a lot of people are beholden to their families and their Community pressures and, you know. And so that's why I asked that. And so he said, it's not about them. They don't make a decision about what I do. Then he says, but I do want to have children. Right. Which is a reasonable thing, in my opinion, to put out there. I mean, sure. I mean, you're not dating me, so I don't really need to know that, but sure, you can state that. I think it's fair to state that. But then he says, will you let me put a baby in you? And that's where he lost me.

[A]

What do you expect from someone in preschool?

[B]

I expect. I think he thought he would. I think he thought he ate with that. You know what I'm saying? I think he thought he ate and he got ignored.

[A]

What a dumb. Dumb.

[B]

A dummy. Yeah, a dummy.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

And there's so many other ways.

[A]

Like, maybe he thought you would take that lighthearted because you're a comic.

[B]

Possibly he thought he was funny.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And let me tell you what.

[A]

There is no.

[B]

They don't be funny.

[A]

Harder death sentence.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Than when a guy tries to be funny to a comedian. Like, just be yourself. And maybe that wasn't.

[B]

Maybe that wasn't. Either way. Either way. Thank you, but no, thank you.

[A]

Yeah. Ew.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I just, like, I wanna put a baby in you. Just isn't hot. It's not at any stage. It's not like, yeah, there are other ways.

[B]

Last time somebody was like, let's go half on a baby. R. Kelly's, like, in jail. You get what I'm saying? Like, that's like, you. You know. Yeah, so.

[A]

Yeah, just don't say that part.

[B]

Yeah, but I think that there's, like. Like, if that's a major concern for him. Like, hey, I am attracted to older women because I think that is. I don't shy away from that conversation either. Right. Like, most of the guys that I've dated in my recent past have all been younger than me. And I. You know, guys tell you what they want you to. They tell you what they think you want to hear. And so I'll be like, oh, I didn't realize I was older than you. And they'll be like, but I love older women. And it's like, no, you don't.

[A]

You.

[B]

You just like me right now. If I were. Whatever. If I was like, I'm a Martian, they'd be like, but I love Martians. You know? Like, that's just what guys do.

[A]

But you don't look like an older woman.

[B]

Of course not. Which is why I'm 62. No, I get it. But they think that I'm their age. Right. It's like a pleasant surprise to know, like, oh, wow, I would have, you know, whatever. Which is. I think it's just, to me, discovering somebody's an age difference is the same as discovering, like, oh, oh, wow. I was born in New York and you were born in Oakland. Do you get what I'm saying? Like, it's just information.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. But I think that I'm no idiot and I'm not, I'm not delusional. So if I am getting serious with a younger guy now, we don't have to go into all of this. But it's like, I'm super fertile. I have frozen eggs. We could get into that conversation. I'm not really worried about that. Although I know that that is a real conversation. When you start dating people who are, what, like any 35 or older. You get what I'm saying? So it's like, I don't think you should shy away from that. But you also, you gotta know how to talk like. Yeah. If I let that slide, can let's say I fell in love with him. This guy that said in the dm, yeah. You gonna let me put a baby in you? Cause it makes it so overtly sexual. Right. Now I gotta worry. Now I gotta worry. Like, what stupid shit is my husband saying at the party? I gotta carry that for the rest of my life. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, God. Where he at? Saying something he think is funny and it ain't funny. Where's he at? Oh, God.

[A]

Go get your man.

[B]

Yeah. You know, like. And you realize it when you. 20 years in, like, dang. He does say stupid shit. The first thing he said to me was stupid. Way back when in that message, you.

[A]

Had the red flag.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And you chose to wave it around. We're grandparents now.

[A]

Yeah. Fuck.

[B]

And he's saying stupid stuff to our daughter in law, you know?

[A]

Yeah. What is your biggest red flag in dating?

[B]

Like what, like, what's the thing that's going to make. Like if a guy in a.

[A]

Like, like your, like, what's the thing that, like, you're very honest and straightforward, which is a green flag. What is your red flag? What would you need to work on?

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. H. Maybe going from like hot to cold. Quickly, quickly, quickly. In my best moments, I'll say, give me a moment. Give me a day. But I find that I'm a Little bit less controlled in a romantic relationship with friends, with family, I'll be hurt, bothered, whatever the emotion is. And I'll be like, you know what? I will talk to you, but I need a day. Just give me a day. Cause I don't wanna say something I don't mean. You know, I'm pretty rational in that way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But that can go out the window very quickly in a romantic relationship for me. Yeah. And so I'll. I'll shut down, meaning, like, you see how I'm super communicative? But there's times where I'll just go silent, man.

[A]

I imagine that hurts so bad.

[B]

Yeah. I'll go silent.

[A]

You're so.

[B]

You're.

[A]

Cause you're so clear, and you're so good at having conversation that if someone got invested and was like, okay, this is who this girl is. And then if you, like, ghosted for a day, I'd be like, oh, my gosh. Why is she not respon. What did I do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I would have, like, a whole day of panic attacks.

[B]

Yeah, for sure you did something.

[A]

You just don't know what it is. You're like, let me guess.

[B]

And then I will not. Like, you know how people. They give you. They go silent, and then you talk about, like, I'll. I'm not gonna come out of it without some sort of acknowledgement and accountability. I'm not gonna come out of it. And I think that that could be a bit of a red flag. And also, I'm a little bit controlling. And not ever controlling of him, but just kind of controlling of my own state of being. And in that, it can cause me to be a bit elusive, a bit, like, almost. What's the word? It starts with an A. When it's like, you don't have emotion. Um.

[A]

Apathetic.

[B]

Mm. Possibly.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Can we cut this? I'm dead. Let's edit that part out there. No, I'm kidding.

[A]

I'm kidding.

[B]

I'm kidding.

[A]

That's so funny. Yeah.

[B]

It can cause me to just be a bit guarded.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that's a red flag because you sometimes don't know where you stand with me in my protection of myself. I've had guys who I've dated be like. I don't quite know. Like, I'll like them a lot. And they'll be like, yeah, I thought you didn't like me. And I'd be like, oh, my God, I was practicing writing my name with your last name. Like, not really. You know what I'm saying not any, you know, have you.

[A]

Have you ever gone back to an ex?

[B]

No.

[A]

Once it's over. Done.

[B]

Yeah, for the most part. Because I want. During the pandemic, I like, started talking to an ex again. That. But that's the pandemic. That's.

[A]

That doesn't. Nothing in the pandemic counts.

[B]

And very briefly, you know, but I kind of lose whatever makes me move on. If we were deep in it, like, if we are. If we're somebody that, like, if we went on like a date and for some reason we didn't really follow up with one another and then later on we like, reconnect again. That's there. But I'm talking about I was in a full fledged, like, relationship or really serious, like, dating scene, and then something causes it to end. I think whatever makes me. I just. I sort of lose. I lose desire for the person, and it's very hard for me to get desire back. Does that make sense?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm like, yeah, we could be friends, but, like, I don't even really think you cute no more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, that's the worst thing for me to stop thinking you cute.

[A]

When someone gets ugly, all of them, all of a sudden, you're like, yes.

[B]

When they get ugly, it doesn't come back. No, it doesn't come back.

[A]

No. But I think that that's such a. That people get ugly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause then you never look at them the same.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can look at pictures of them kissing other people and you're like, what?

[B]

Have you ever thought about you getting ugly to someone? That just hit me, just in this moment, girl.

[A]

I'm so hideous to so many people.

[B]

Really, I've never even thought about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't imagine it. Oh, my God. I'm discovering something about myself right now, dude.

[A]

Cause it happens to everyone.

[B]

And so like, like somebody that used to like me thinks that I'm hideous.

[A]

Terribly.

[B]

That I don't even. You know what we. Let's call him. I have to know what I mean, I get like.

[A]

I mean, you have to be ugly to someone for someone to move on. Cause if people look back at you and they're like, God, she's beautiful, then they. They can't.

[B]

No, they don't got to be like, she's beautiful. But they could be like, yeah, she.

[A]

Cute, or whatever, that means you're ugly. If there's a whatever.

[B]

Okay. So I can understand somebody not having desire for me anymore, but to. To be like, she's not cute. That's Wild. That is wild. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That's like for somebody to be like. Cause it's different for men. And women like men. Really? Sometimes. Don't be cute unless you like them. Yeah, like they literally don't be good looking people. Hold on, hold on a second. Do you get what I'm saying?

[A]

I do, I do.

[B]

It's very easy to like a man that is not good looking.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

But men don't be liking women that are not attractive for the most part.

[A]

I don't know. I've seen some pretty hot guys with some twos.

[B]

That's something else. We gotta unpack. But for the most part.

[A]

Have you not seen a guy and you've been like, why, why is he with her?

[B]

Aesthetically, that's so rare. No, to be honest with you, in la, I'm in la, but I travel the world. It's very rare. Guys. No, no, it's. I'll see. I'll see a guy who is with a woman and she's a. You could tell she's an ugly woman. Like her personality, her spirit. But it's like, oh, now I understand why he's with this ugly, this awful human being. Because, like, she's hot. Do you get what I'm saying? But like, I think women just generally, especially when we're younger, we just. Girls look better than boys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Until we. Until we start getting older.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Something about men, they just look. You know what I'm saying, when they start to shrivel, like a raisin. They just get better.

[A]

They do. With the white and.

[B]

Yeah. With the.

[A]

They turn into like a silver fossil.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. With the salt and pepper.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They get debonair. There's no like, debonair equivalent for women. It's just like you either hot and then you not. But men get to be debonair. What is. What is. What's. What's the older class? What's that classy lady that isn't. Yeah. We gotta find the debonair word, the female equivalent. Debonair word.

[A]

Botox.

[B]

No, like, think of, think of. Okay, so like we call.

[A]

What's up?

[B]

So Halle Berry is going on 60 years old, right. She's 59 years old. I guess she's just still beautiful. Like, as a woman. I guess you just. You either stay beautiful or you don't.

[A]

She's still golden.

[B]

Yeah, she. Oh, golden. Golden. I ain't never heard nobody call Halle Berry golden.

[A]

She looks golden in every photo. She glows.

[B]

That's how she glows. Yeah, she's beautiful.

[A]

She glows gold. If you look at a picture of Halle Berry, she glows gold.

[B]

But that's what I'm saying. So you think any of her exes is, like, Halle Berry ugly?

[A]

No.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. No, but I bet you it's a couple of her exes where she, like, why did I let that monster touch me?

[A]

Like, look at her.

[B]

There's nobody. I don't care how much you hate her. You can't. You're not gonna say, like. No, I just. I mean, yeah, we used to date, but now she's ugly to me. I wouldn't even trust that man.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

If I was on a date with a man and he was like, yeah, I used to date Halle Berry. But, you know, now I'm past that. Like, I don't even find her attractive anymore. I would be like, get me off this. Bring the check. Bring the check. Because he's lying on the first date.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But, like, she's also looks like she's 32 years old.

[B]

She's. Yeah, she's. Okay. We shouldn't have used Halle Berry because she's rich now.

[A]

I feel terrible about myself. Like, I don't want to look at her. Look at her dress, look at her arms.

[B]

But don't. Okay. We shouldn't have used Halle Berry. We have to not use people who are beautiful and rich and celebrity. It's like, you can't compete. We shouldn't have used Halle Berry. We shouldn't have used her. She's. You know. But if we.

[A]

I don't know, we'll take her down.

[B]

I just. I don't know. To think that, like, some guy that used to like me. I come. He. He could say the worst things about me. She's an awful witch. But for him to be like. But, yeah, for him to be like, she's not beautiful, that's crazy.

[A]

What if they were like, she's not funny?

[B]

Well, if.

[A]

Would you rather not be beautiful or not be funny for an ex to look back at you?

[B]

For my ex, I'd rather him think.

[A]

I'm beautiful and be like, she's so pretty, but she's not funny.

[B]

Yeah, I don't care if he thinks I'm funny. I mean, like, I do, but it's more important for me. For. He's not paying for my show. He's not paying to come to the show. I do not need his. One versus a million people. I prefer a million people to think that I'm Funny. And for him, that one person to think that I'm beautiful.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. He could be like, I actually would probably get a kick out of it. Yeah. If, like, the man I loved was like, you know, you not funny to me. I would probably die laughing every time. Like, I would probably create a whole hour of material on how the man I love does not find me funny like that. That would, that might, I might get a kick out of that because in my opinion, it would be so courageous.

[A]

Your DMs are going to get flooded with all these guys that like, hey, beautiful, you're not funny.

[B]

But here's the thing. He can't think women aren't funny. No. He can't be one of those.

[A]

But if he, like, only male comics think that.

[B]

If he's like, if people, if people go up to him and be like, oh, my God, your wife, Zaynab Johnson, she's so funny. And he's like, meh. Let me just tell you what it would. It would send to me. I would just love that. It would be like our running. It would be our bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I would be like, honey, what do you think about this? And he's like, I don't get it.

[A]

That's how, you know that's a bomb ass joke.

[B]

That would be our. And I would love it. But if he was like, I just am not seeing the beauty in you anymore. See, I would be like, I think it would affect me being funny on stage.

[A]

Oh, no. So we need a guy that thinks you're beautiful and not funny at all.

[B]

No, he can also think I'm funny. But I'm just saying, if I had to choose, I would like for him to think, you know, I would like for him to think that I'm the sun, the moon and the stars.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But if I had to choose, I would want him to be like, I mean, I know she. I know, I know that. Listen, people find her hilarious and I, you know, she's, she's my beautiful wife. I would be like. And then every so often in our relationship, I would do something that would make him laugh so hysterically. Once every six years. And I would appreciate those moments. Like, like a baby.

[A]

Yeah. What is that?

[B]

Sounds great to me.

[A]

Yeah. Right. What is the biggest deal breaker for you? Let's say you find your soulmate. What can he do to, like, ruin it?

[B]

Like, obvious ones are like, be like a pathological liar or like, you know, like an abuser or that stuff is really easy. But I think for me it would be if he had a smell.

[A]

Like, bad hygiene.

[B]

Yeah. Like, bad hygiene is like, also like, easy. Right? Like, nobody chooses anybody with bad hygiene. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think, I don't even think I could initially be attracted to you. If there's any signs of overt bad hygiene, I think we not even gonna make it pass. I get, I get kind of grossed out if, you know, nails are like, fingernails are dirty or if fingernails are not the right length. I. I pay attention to all of that on a first date, you know, like. Yeah, I don't. You know, like, how. When are you going to the dentist? So that's kind of easy. But if he has like a chip. Were you going to say, when are.

[A]

You going to the dentist?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I've never heard anyone say that.

[B]

Oh, do you. That's a shame.

[A]

When are you going to the dentist?

[B]

Or like, how do you go to the. What I'm. What I mean is, like, I don't want to be on a date with somebody and be wondering that. If you're wondering that, then that means that something drew your attention to a problem.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Versus the thought of like, I bet he go to the dentist a lot. Mm. You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But if he has a smell, like a smell that he can't quite. It ain't like bo, it's just his odor.

[A]

You know what this reminds me of? Hold on, I have to tell you a story. I went on a couple dates with this one guy and we went to a theme park and we rode this ride where they had black lights in the ride. And I looked over at him and I was having fun. I was like laughing and I was like, oh my God, look at that. And then I looked at him and he was smiling and he had one tooth in the front that was glowing white. And I was like. And I just like stared at it and I was like, oh my gosh, he has like one fake tooth. Which is fine. Yeah, yeah. And so we get off the ride and I had to mention. Cause I can't like the bag of nuts. Like, I can't not. I can't not say something. It will bother me for the rest of eternity. So I was like, hey, I just want you to know that in a black light your tooth glows.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he goes, oh, yeah, it's fake. And pops it out and had a full blown retainer with one tooth on it. And he like, could pop it in. And I laughed so hard at the fact that it wasn't like a veneer.

[B]

Yeah. Or like an implant.

[A]

That's what I mean. Like, it was just, like, this detachable tooth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I thought it was so funny, and that was like a quirk to me. I was like, wow, this guy. And then he ruined it. After like, three or four dates, he told me that he was at a bar somewhere in North Hollywood. And I was like, oh, I'm just gonna, like, I didn't tell him that I was gonna come by. He thought I was, like, at home. And I was like, I'm just gonna pop by and. Cause I was actually in the area, and I was like, okay. I hung the phone, and then I went to the bar, and he was making out with someone, grabbing her butt, and I was like, oh, snaggle, dude.

[B]

That's the thing when you mess up, we only see your flaw.

[A]

I could only see the tooth. Then I was like, damn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This guy.

[B]

That's so funny. But I love that you. Did you ride by and say, you know, he could pop out his tooth. Dude.

[A]

I actually tapped on his shoulder, and he turned around and looked at me, and I was like, hi. And I just turned around and left and left. And I never talked to him again.

[B]

Oh, I love that. I love that you confronted that. But I also love that you told him at the. You know, after the.

[A]

Oh, if I'm gonna tell you your tooth glowing in the dark, I'm for sure gonna confront you about making out with another girl. I am not that bitch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That, like, sees it and goes, yeah. And then runs away. I'm like, this is my moment.

[B]

I like that he also leaned into it, you know? Like, I think that that's best, you know, if he would have been like. If that would have embarrassed him, and then he started acting weird towards you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then that would have been like.

[A]

No, I thought it was, like, we both had, like, a great laugh over it.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, he could. He could keep the retainer tooth, or eventually he said, yeah, it's not a big deal, but it's like, bro, and you out here making out, and you're.

[A]

Cheating, like, doing, like. And it's not really cheating. We were not exclusive. But, like, we had been on a couple of dates, and, like, dude, I just don't want to see you making out with anybody. If we're talking, like, I better be the only one you're really interested in.

[B]

Now, how make that make sense. Okay, go.

[A]

If we're talking. If I'm like.

[B]

If I'm saying you're not in a relationship. And you're not. So there's no expectation of monogamy.

[A]

I guess if I go on, like two or three dates with someone, I've already asked questions. If they're seeing other people, I'm like, what are you looking for? And I would say 100% of the time that I went out with people, whenever I was dating, they would always say, I'm not really seeing anybody else. You're the only person I'm going out with. And I would say the same thing. I'd be like, I'm not going out with other people either. And I wouldn't. I never really. I couldn't really date multiple people at once. That just was not for me. But I also didn't have a lot of time. So if I had free time, I was spending it with this one person that I was interested in, and I would either latch on and I would, like, keep it going, or I would dismiss this person after like, two, three dates and be like, I'm not interested in this.

[B]

Okay, so now I get it. So. So there is sort of like a bleeding of the lines for you after a few dates to the boyfriend, girlfriend status.

[A]

I at least wanna know that, like, if we're gonna start having sex, that you're not sleeping around.

[B]

Yeah. Because I. I mean, I agree. So part of it I agree with. Right. Which is. Yeah, if I like somebody and I am seeing them, talking to them, whatever. No, I don't wanna see them make out with anybody else. But I don't believe that I. I don't believe that I have the right to tell them not to. Unless we've discussed that. That we are not going to be.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But also, I feel like. Like it's every person's decision for themselves. Like how he. If he wants to go make out with other people and I see him doing that, then it's my decision to not be interested in that guy.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Of course. And I'm like, okay, well, then, now that I've seen this, it's really turned me off. And I'm just like. I'm. Then for me, that desire has kind of, like, fizzled. Like what you were saying with desire.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if.

[B]

Yeah, you're basically watching him in a porn.

[A]

Then it's like. Then I'm supposed to kiss that mouth.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And it's like, was the girl hot? No.

[B]

Oh, come on, dude.

[A]

No.

[B]

Was he drunk?

[A]

Yes. Don't care.

[B]

I don't either. I mean, but yeah, he was at a bar.

[A]

And he was very drunk. But he was making out with this other girl.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who was larger than him.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I was just, like, in size, I was gonna say.

[B]

Or on Instagram. Large.

[A]

I don't even think Instagram was around when this one happened.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But no, I just. That's just. That's just my own thing too. And if guys, like, really are open about, like, hey, I'm really kind of, like, dating around. I'm, like, talking to a few girls. I appreciate that honesty so much, but I don't know how to take. I don't know how to take it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I'm looking for someone who's like, like, pretty single and, like, going on one or two dates with people and then wanting to explore something more with one person.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But that's just how I felt. And I also didn't date, like, a ton of people in my life. Like, I dated, like, less than 10.

[B]

Yeah. Same. Same.

[A]

So I guess I had a weird thing where I would get more serious a little bit faster. Because that's what I wanted.

[B]

Yeah. Or at least. I mean, at least your expectations are very serious, which I don't think that there's anything. I. I actually don't think that there's anything wrong with the way that you operate or process. I just think that there's just a slight step missing, which is, like, clear communication of, hey, I know we've only been on two or three dates, but if you, you know, are making out with anybody, or if you. If in. In us. In between our. This date and our next date, you meet somebody and you want to kiss them or go on a date with them, I would prefer if you let me know, because then that might change how I feel, you know? Like, I just think that you. You. You had an expectation that wasn't quite communicated for sure.

[A]

And especially.

[B]

And that's okay.

[A]

But with that one, too, I was like, in my super early 20s.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So I was also, like, way younger.

[B]

And I think it's okay. Cause all you did was, like, you just decided to remove yourself. Now, if you were somebody that was like. And how dare he. And now I wanna give him a lecture about it. You know, it's like, that doesn't make sense.

[A]

But he was also, like, on trial. Like, I was testing out the waters with him too.

[B]

You know, like, you gotta. You know, the way you speak is really funny. Cause I thought, like, you were gonna talk about a criminal. Like, I'm like, girl.

[A]

No, he was on trial.

[B]

I'm like, he dated the more you. He does not sound like a judge.

[A]

I'm the judge, the jury and the lawyer. I'm all three of them.

[B]

I thought you was dating a snagatooth criminal girl. I was.

[A]

He was standing trial and he went to prison, so. For life?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was like, oh, okay.

[B]

I think that it is, like. It is something to, like, see a man that you like with another, and it can really change, depending on what that woman gives off. It can really change how you feel about again. In my very early twenties, I remember I was in college. There was this guy on campus that I like, this guy that went to my school that I. I just thought he was so cool, so attractive, you know? Like, I mean, truly. I thought he was like, oh, man. Who. You know, like, I gotta figure out a way to, like, get in the eyesight of this guy, right? And I remember there was a party. Like, there was a party at the school one night, and I worked the coat check, and he walks up with this girl. And part of me was like, oh, this is the guy. But then part of me was like, oh, no, he's here with a girl, right? And as they're checking, as he's, like, checking his coat, the girl standing there, she seems nice, but one of her whole boobs is out of the shirt. The whole boob. The entire breast is out of the shirt. And I wait a little while for him to, like, say. And he's, like, flirting a little bit with me. Like, you know, like, I think he's just a charm. A guy who tries to charm everybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so as he's saying, whatever he's saying, I kind of push past him and I go to her and I go, your boob is out. And she was like, oh. Like, she had no idea. And in that moment, the way I felt about him, I never felt that way about him again. I instantly lost attraction because I'm like, how are you with a girl? Her whole boob is out. You didn't notice that? And if you did, you didn't tell her.

[A]

Yeah, you're not looking out for this girl.

[B]

I'm talking about at that culture. I'm talking about instantly. Yeah, I did not like this guy anymore. Maybe like a year later or something. Like, he started liking me because at some point, I got into his eyesight and he, like, invited me to a party or invited my friend to a party, and we went to the party and he was really. And I. I hated to. I said, bruh, you lost me a coat check. You, You. You lost me at is. No, I will never see. When I look at you, I see a woman's titty out. That's all I see. I don't see you. I don't. He dressed the same. So super fashionable. I don't see none of this. I just see you got this girl in the street looking crazy. Yeah. And I can't be a girl in the street looking crazy.

[A]

No.

[B]

So, yeah. You are of no use to me, sir.

[A]

He's that guy that is walking around at that party and you're like, what kind of dumb shit yes is he saying right now?

[B]

I couldn't believe it. Because, you know when you have sometimes a crush, especially when you're younger, it can occupy. It can almost feel like you're in a relationship. It occupies so much of your mental space. And then when you don't like them, you kind of like, well, what do I. I don't even know what to do tonight.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I got so much free thought, you know?

[A]

You know, that's so funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?

[B]

I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

What is the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone?

[B]

I don't know. I like, I recognize when, like, I've gone on. Okay, so, like, I've been in relationships where guys have planned really big. Like, because I'm Muslim, I don't celebrate any of the holidays. And so guys that I've been in relationships with, they recognize like, oh, her birthday is where I can go all out. Because that's the thing that she outwardly celebrates, you know? And so I remember one year, a boyfriend that I had, it was like a multi part. I mean, we were at. We were horseback riding. We were at Six Flags. We were. This was like a multi day planned. Like, he had everything down to a T. And I recognized it that he had put in the hard work. I appreciate it. He didn't tell me to dress right. It's like what I would have wore for the horseback ride. I would have wore the Six Flags and vice versa. Do you get what I'm saying? It's like he didn't really tell me how to plan.

[A]

Was he just trying to surprise you?

[B]

All of it was a surprise? Yeah, all of it was a surprise. And I recognize that it was nice. But I think the thing that comes across as the most romantic to me is if you show up for me or if I feel like seen and heard by you. So, like, one guy I was seeing I would say things that was not, like, material. Like, I'm not, like, trying a bit out on him, but I guess I would just say funny things just in the course of the day, you know, our time together. And he would be like, write that down. That's like, not. Doesn't seem romantic. That seems like an assistant. But. But like. Or he. And he would, like, text me. You know, like, text me something that I said. Like, don't forget to try this. Don't. Don't. You said this. That's really.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That could be a good bit. Don't. And he would just text me. I just thought that. And not that he did it a whole bunch, but I just. I find stuff like that to be very romantic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. It makes me feel. It gives me the thing that romance is supposed to. The feeling that romance has through your body, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's almost like he went. Someone going out of their way in their mind.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To do something for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, hey, this thing that you said can help you.

[B]

Yeah. And I like when people show that they know me, because to me, that means you've paid attention. It means that you're, you know. And so when you show that you, you know, anything, like, it'll be romantic to me if I say if you saw me or heard me, you know, you saw me eating something once, and I'm. And then. And then, I don't know, you decide to, like, hey, I just wanted to drop you off something. And it's like, oh, that cupcake I was eating. Like, stuff like that is romantic to me, you know, versus, like, I don't know. He spread out rose petals on the beach to me. That's like. That's like, this is a production. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I appreciate it, you know, But I don't know, it's like the smaller, more deeper things are the things that really penetrate me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, where can people find you?

[B]

They can find me on social media. Zainab Johnson. Just my name, Z, A, I, N, A, B Johnson. My website. Zaynab Johnson. Yeah. And come to a show. Like, I'm a really fun live act to see.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So come. Come watch my comedy live. I love when people do that.

[A]

Well, thank you for coming on.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you, guys for watching another episode of First Date. We'll see you next time. First Date. Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? First Date. I can't wait. You told your mom about me? Just say you're ready. Delete my number. First date, your parents are your roommates.