Time And A Place For Gay w/ Dylan Sullivan | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

First Date with Lauren Compton: Episode Summary Episode Title: Time And A Place For Gay w/ Dylan Sullivan
Host: Lauren Compton (YMH Studios)
Guest: Dylan Sullivan
Release Date: April 15, 2025

---

Introduction

In the vibrant city of Austin, comedian and viral content creator Lauren Compton hosts another entertaining episode of First Date. This week, Lauren sits down with local comedian Dylan Sullivan to navigate the complexities of dating, especially within the gay community. Their candid conversation explores personal experiences, relationship dynamics, and the myriad of challenges that come with finding a compatible partner.

---

Getting to Know Dylan Sullivan

Lauren begins by introducing Dylan Sullivan, highlighting his roles as the host of The Dylan Sullivan Show and the Smudge Hawks Podcast alongside his friend Patrick Depari. Dylan shares his recent move to his first one-bedroom apartment in Austin after eight years of living with roommates, expressing excitement about this new chapter in his life.

Notable Quote:

• Dylan Sullivan [02:00]: "No. I'm gay also. So hopefully for both our sakes, I don't get a girlfriend. That's the way things used to be."

---

Personal Journey and Identity

The conversation delves into Dylan's realization of his sexuality. He reflects on his journey, acknowledging that he believes he has been gay all his life, solidifying his identity during puberty.

Notable Quote:

• Dylan Sullivan [02:14]: "I think so. I think. No. I just chose Yes. A couple years ago."

Lauren humorously probes whether Dylan's realization was abrupt, to which he clarifies that his understanding evolved over time.

---

Dating Experiences and Pet Peeves

Dylan and Lauren discuss their experiences with dating, highlighting pet peeves and turn-ons in relationships. Dylan emphasizes his aversion to individuals who mistreat service staff, viewing such behavior as indicative of a person's character.

Notable Quotes:

• Dylan Sullivan [03:05]: "Well, I think my biggest pet peeves in general is when people are rude to service people."
• Lauren Compton [04:28]: "I also don't like it when people don't say thank you when they receive things."

They both agree that disrespect towards others, especially those in service roles, is a significant red flag. Additionally, Dylan values partners who maintain their own lives and interests, fostering a healthy, independent relationship dynamic.

Notable Quote:

• Dylan Sullivan [06:16]: "Turn ons? When people have their own lives, that's really cool to me."

---

Ideal First Date and Communication

When discussing the ideal first date, Dylan prefers casual settings like a walk and grabbing coffee over traditional movie dates, which he finds stifling for initial conversations.

Notable Quotes:

• Dylan Sullivan [07:34]: "I like a walk or something casual and then probably food."
• Dylan Sullivan [08:07]: "Religion, politics?"

Lauren adds her perspective on maintaining balanced conversation topics to gauge compatibility.

---

Navigating Open Relationships and Threesomes

The duo touches upon the topic of open relationships and threesomes within the gay community. Dylan candidly shares his challenges with jealousy, expressing reservations about open relationships but amusingly discusses the possibility of incorporating threesomes in a controlled, monogamous setting.

Notable Quotes:

• Dylan Sullivan [22:04]: "Ah, I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can do it. I think I'm too jealous of a guy to get into that."
• Lauren Compton [22:25]: "How do you conduct that, though?"

Their playful banter highlights the complexities and personal boundaries involved in such arrangements.

---

Personal Stories and Humor

Lauren and Dylan inject humor into the conversation by sharing personal anecdotes. Dylan recounts a past relationship involving a fake marriage for a visa, highlighting cultural and personal conflicts that ultimately led to the breakup.

Notable Quotes:

• Dylan Sullivan [11:13]: "It's probably about two and a half, almost three years."
• Lauren Compton [13:06]: "Man, that's rough."

Their stories underscore the importance of honesty and compatibility in maintaining healthy relationships.

---

Views on Masculinity and Fitness

Dylan discusses his preference for dating more masculine individuals, explaining his attraction to physically strong partners who can complement his lifestyle. They humorously critique the gym culture, particularly spotlighting Gold's Gym as a hotspot for gay interactions and playful mockery of its facilities.

Notable Quotes:

• Dylan Sullivan [28:00]: "I usually tend to date more masculine guys."
• Lauren Compton [29:33]: "Are you the second person to call out Gold's Gym for gay guys."

---

Food Preferences and Bonding Over Burgers

A light-hearted segment revolves around their favorite burgers and pizza spots in Austin. Dylan champions In-N-Out over Shake Shack, while Lauren expresses her love for Via 313 and Pint House Breweries. Their shared enthusiasm for food serves as a bonding experience, illustrating how common interests can strengthen connections.

Notable Quotes:

• Dylan Sullivan [40:07]: "Teh best burger is In-N-Out over Shake Shack."
• Lauren Compton [43:25]: "I've been a VIA 313 person."

---

Closing Thoughts and Social Media

As the conversation wraps up, Dylan shares his social media handles, encouraging listeners to follow his various online platforms. Lauren thanks Dylan for his openness and engaging presence on the show, hinting at future episodes that will continue to explore the intricacies of dating in modern times.

Notable Quotes:

• Dylan Sullivan [45:35]: "My Instagram handle is Dylan Raysol."
• Lauren Compton [46:00]: "Thank you guys so much for watching. We'll see you next time."

---

Conclusion

This episode of First Date offers a blend of humor, personal insights, and candid discussions about the challenges and joys of dating, especially within the gay community. Lauren and Dylan's engaging dialogue provides listeners with relatable content and entertaining anecdotes, making it a must-listen for anyone navigating the dating scene.

---

Where to Find Dylan Sullivan:

• Instagram: @DylanRaysoll
• YouTube: The Dylan Sullivan Show
• Podcast: Smudge Hawks

Stay tuned for more episodes of First Date with Lauren Compton, where every conversation is a journey through the wild ride of modern dating.

Transcript

[Dylan Sullivan]

This episode is brought to you by Lifelock.

[Lauren]

It's tax season and we're all a bit tired of numbers, but here's one you need to $16.5 billion. That's how much the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year. Now here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed. Save up to 40% your first [e-mail]. podcast terms apply. I'm so excited to see you tonight. First Date, baby.

[Dylan Sullivan]

First date.

[Lauren]

I can't wait.

[Dylan Sullivan]

First date.

[Lauren]

Hello, and welcome to another episode of First Date. My guest today is a local comedian here in Austin that I met and love. He hosts the. Hosts the Dylan Sullivan show and he also hosts the Smudge Hawks podcast.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yes.

[Lauren]

I haven't listened to that yet, but give it up for Dylan Sullivan.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Hey, everybody.

[Lauren]

What do you. What do you talk about on the smudgehawks?

[Dylan Sullivan]

So smudgehawks is with my friend Patrick Depari and I. We're just kind of a couple loser comedians and we banter about everything.

[Lauren]

Have I met him?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Maybe. He's usually at the bar. If you're at the bar.

[Lauren]

He's usually been a while since I've been to the bar.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Good thing. Good.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Well.

[Lauren]

So you just got back from New York?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, I just got back from New York.

[Lauren]

What were you doing there?

[Dylan Sullivan]

We filmed. Filmed the don't tell segment or little special. So that'll be coming out in the next couple months and. Yeah, just kind of perusing around the city.

[Lauren]

Nice. So now you're back in Austin for a while.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yes, hopefully. I just moved into my first one bedroom. I haven't lived by myself for eight years.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I've had roommates and now I got a one bedroom. So I'm really looking forward to that.

[Lauren]

You might get a girlfriend.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Maybe.

[Lauren]

Are you dating anybody?

[Dylan Sullivan]

No. I'm gay also. So hopefully. So hopefully for both our sakes, I don't get a girlfriend. That's the way things used to be.

[Lauren]

Have you been gay all your life?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I think so. I think. No. I just chose Yes. A couple years ago.

[Lauren]

I didn't know if you just, like, woke up one day and you're like, I'm tired of the pussy.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Not to my knowledge, but yeah. I think puberty is when I kind of figured it out.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Well, have you been dating anybody in general?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I went on a date in New York and that was kind of fun.

[Lauren]

But then where did you go?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Just Around. We did a walk. We did a walk. And then.

[Lauren]

Isn't it cold there right now?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, it's cold as shit. It was not.

[Lauren]

I mean, so it was a short walk.

[Dylan Sullivan]

It was a short walk. And then we got burgers and hung out at the hotel. It was fun.

[Lauren]

That is cool. We're going to start off with some appetizer questions. What would you say are your biggest pet peeves in a relationship?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Well, I think my biggest pet peeves in general is when people are rude to service people.

[Lauren]

Like, it seems to be a common. A common thing. I'm glad that people find that really annoying.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. I think it says a lot about a person if they don't treat people that they can treat shitty. Shitty.

[Lauren]

Yeah. When is the last time you went out with someone that was shitty to a waiter? God.

[Dylan Sullivan]

There was this one time maybe a few months back, and he was just barking orders at the server and it just really felt gross.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

So I didn't. Yeah, there wasn't a.

[Lauren]

What did you do?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Well, I did nothing. I did nothing about it, but, I mean, other than the fact of, like, not talking to them after that.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I went out with a guy one time that whistled at a waiter and then snapped and did one of these.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Gross.

[Lauren]

I never saw that guy again either. I was like, whoa. It's hard to. It's hard to be around people like that because you don't want to be associated.

[Dylan Sullivan]

No, no. You're like, I'm not. I didn't snap. Right.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I don't like this guy.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, it's automatically gross. And it's not even something you can really bring up with them because if they're doing that, it's like, how am I going to change you on this first date?

[Lauren]

Yeah, there's no changing people like that.

[Dylan Sullivan]

No, I don't think so either.

[Lauren]

I also don't like it when people don't say thank you when they receive things. I was. I was somewhere the other day and my boyfriend offered a glass of wine to one of a new guy that was like, kind of at our table and was like, would you like a glass of wine? And the guy was on his phone and he looked up and he took the glass and he set it on the table and then, like, kept being on his phone. And I was, like, stunned.

[Dylan Sullivan]

He didn't say anything even after he finished up the text.

[Lauren]

No. Didn't say thank you. Wasn't like, oh, yes, please. Like, he just. He barely even looked up and just accepted it and set it down and Then, like, continued forward. And I was like, yeah, well, that's.

[Dylan Sullivan]

A guy that doesn't get the second glass of wine.

[Lauren]

I know. I was just like. I was like, oh, my God. And then he ended up getting a second and a third and a fourth.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And no thank yous after anything.

[Lauren]

Not one.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Not saving up for the end of the night. And then a big thank you hug.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Thank you so much for all of the wine that you gave me.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. No, and wine's not cheap.

[Lauren]

These were not cheap.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Ooh.

[Lauren]

Yeah. So it was even more to my dismay. I was like, I fucking. And then every time that a guy that he would get a glass, I would just hate him more and more. And I'm just like. And I had to tell Mark. I'm like, stop giving this guy wine. And then I had to point it out. I'm like, did you even notice that he never said thank you, did he? He didn't notice.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I would notice, like, the second that a thank you wasn't had.

[Lauren]

Yeah. If you gave me something and I just took it and just set it.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Down, I would be at the end of the table just seething.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I'd be furious.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Well, what are your biggest turn ons?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Turn ons? When people have their own lives, that's really cool to me.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Like, you know, when people have their things going on. I've dated a couple people where, like, they don't have, like, friends or hobbies, and then you become the friend or the hobby and the only thing. And I think it's really important if you want to have a happy relationship, to have your own lives apart from the relationship.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Creates a little mystique and intrigue and like, oh, I'm going to do this thing. And it's really sexy when they're like, oh, well, I didn't want to hang out anyway because I'm doing my thing. Whoa.

[Lauren]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good to be able to support people in relationships. And if someone doesn't have anything going on, it kind of. It becomes all about you in a way where it's like, you. You become tired of talking about yourself at a certain point. I mean, like, don't get me wrong, it's fun, but there can be moments where you're like, God, I wish that we could just talk about you a little bit more.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. And it's a lot of pressure, too, because then he's like, oh, I got to be. Be a person, and I got to be this person's rock.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

You know, And Then it makes you feel like a parent.

[Lauren]

Yeah. What is your idea of a perfect date? Like a first date. Where do you like to go? What do you like to do?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I like a walk or something casual and then probably food. Movies are a bad first date to me because you're silent and you're sitting next to this person you don't know. So it's like you don't know if they're, you know, a murderer yet. So you have to, like, talk to them first before the movie happens. So I like a short walk and like coffee. Really casual.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

The first date is like kind of a handshake, really.

[Lauren]

What are some good talking points on a first date?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Religion, politics?

[Lauren]

Perfect.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Familial troubles? No, I think you're just trying to get, like a sense, you know, throwing opinions out there, seeing how they react to it. I guess someone's past is really indicative of who they are. So I'll throw out. I throw towards, like, you know, minute 20, 30. I do the. Oh, how are things with your ex?

[Lauren]

Oh, really?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lauren]

What is the normal response there?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Well, it's tricky because you don't want them involved with their ex at all.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Because you have to have that cut off.

[Lauren]

But aren't gay guys kind of promiscuous?

[Dylan Sullivan]

They are. There are. Unfortunately. They're. They're promiscuous and evil.

[Lauren]

And you choose these people and I choose.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't know why. No. Yeah, I'd say so. So it's harder to find, like, someone who's trying to have a relationship in gay world because it's pretty promiscuous.

[Lauren]

Where do you meet people?

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's usually apps. Yeah, Usually apps are like the biggest way to meet people. I think I have this, like, fantasy in my head of like meeting someone at the grocery store and stuff. But if. If you try to do a meet. Meet cute and it's just like, you know, a metro straight guy.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Then that gets you into trouble.

[Lauren]

Well, you don't come across as gay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I know. That's my problem.

[Lauren]

Like, I would never have guessed that you were gay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And people don't.

[Lauren]

I've known you for a while now and I always forget. Forget you're gay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah, I know. Well, it gets me into trouble. Cause then I'll have to gay it up sometimes. Like, if I, like, see a guy that I like and I know is gay, then I'll have to like, oh, hello. You know, just to kind of send the message out there.

[Lauren]

Is that your gay voice?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. I Go, hello. And then I juggle. She really gave up. Oh, my God. I also do the same thing with, like, women sometimes. Like, whenever I feel like a woman is, like, threatened, I kind of want to send the message that I'm like, hey, bitch. You know, like, kind of thing, because I don't want her. Because I'm like, a big dude, and I think I can kind of be scared.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God, Dylan.

[Dylan Sullivan]

So I try to gay it up when I feel like a woman is, like, you know, scared.

[Lauren]

Oh, that's so funny. It must be hard to be yourself.

[Dylan Sullivan]

It is. It is. It's nearly impossible because you're pulled in so many different directions.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

But then it's like, I'm going to the gas station in Waco, Texas, you know, like that, you know, so there's like a time and a place for gay, as I always say.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Okay, let's go ahead and get into some main course questions. What is the longest relationship you've ever had?

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's probably about two and a half, almost three years. I dated this guy. He's from, like, Spain and Mexico, and he was married, and it was like a whole thing.

[Lauren]

To a guy or a girl?

[Dylan Sullivan]

He was married to a guy, but he needed a visa. So over the course of the relationship, he had to remain married to this guy that I didn't know, which was crazy.

[Lauren]

Did you know about him?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yes, I knew of him.

[Lauren]

So it was a fake marriage?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Pretty much, yeah. But they owned, like, properties together, and they. They had a lot of, like, business that they had to.

[Lauren]

I think you have to do that for a green card.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yes. Yeah. So he had to keep his green card. So that was obviously a talking point in our relationship, was, hey, you're married.

[Lauren]

And did he come out and tell you that in the beginning?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yes. Well, I think he. It was like, date five, probably.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

You know.

[Lauren]

Did you ever talk to his husband?

[Dylan Sullivan]

No. His husband hated that his husband was in love with him and as was I, So it was a lot of friction there.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Love triangle.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So was his husband in another country?

[Dylan Sullivan]

No, his husband was in Los Angeles at the time, too. So he was close by.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

How. Why did that end?

[Dylan Sullivan]

It just. It became a lot.

[Lauren]

I can imagine.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah, it became a lot, and I. I just couldn't handle. I just couldn't handle it. And also, he was older than I was at the time, and I think I was, like, a little over ambitious when I was younger of wanting to settle down, and turns out I didn't Want that. I didn't want to get married to someone who was already married, you know?

[Lauren]

Makes sense.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah. So I think that was probably what killed it.

[Lauren]

Man, that's rough.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. But now we're not dating, so that's good.

[Lauren]

Yeah, that is good.

[Dylan Sullivan]

He can do his thing as I and I can do my thing.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Well, it doesn't sound like it ended in flames.

[Dylan Sullivan]

It did. He's. He's very Spanish, so there's a lot of passion there. I remember his mom sent me this message because we went and visited his family in Spain and saw his mom, and she. She was so nice. But then, like, there's so much passion there that when we broke up, I got this Facebook message that was like, dylan, you're exactly who I always thought you would be. Piece of shit. And it was, like, going on for a lot of passion there.

[Lauren]

Wow. So you broke up with him and his mom?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, his mom, mainly. She. She was the one I was really going for, but yeah. Yeah, it was not an easy breakup.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Do you like to drink alcohol?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I love alcohol.

[Lauren]

What's your favorite drink?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Well, right now I'm supposed to be making healthier choices, so I do vodka soda.

[Lauren]

I love how healthier choices is still drinking.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, usually I do like a spiked.

[Lauren]

Milkshake, but what do you put in a spiked milkshake?

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's just a milkshake with alcohol.

[Lauren]

You know what? My favorite drink back when, back in my day when I could drink alcohol, what I would love to drink was coffee and Bailey's. Oh, my goodness. On the weekend. That was like my starter.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Because it keeps you up.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And you got the energy.

[Lauren]

It was like a espresso martini, but it was warm.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

Oh, man. When I started this podcast, it felt really intimidating. Setup, filming, schedule, logos. It was super overwhelming. And every day seemed to introduce a new decision that needed an answer. When you're starting off with something new, it seems like your to do list keeps growing every day with new tasks. And that list can easily begin to overrun your life. Finding the right tool that not only helps you out, but simplifies everything can be such a game changer for millions of businesses. That tool is Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of business around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started, Shopify has a ton of helpful tools like design templates, AI, content creation, marketing and inventory resources. Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on Your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.comdate go to shopify.comdate shopify.com date when you.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Have the baby, are you gonna go back to.

[Lauren]

I don't think so.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Why?

[Lauren]

I'm a bad drunk.

[Dylan Sullivan]

How so? What's.

[Lauren]

Oh, where do I begin? I mean.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Okay, yeah.

[Lauren]

And it causes problems in my relationship, and I have a really great relationship right now. And I think part of it's because I'm sober and I can actually see how much more fun I have in my relationship. Even as a pregnant person with my hormones fucking raging, I'm having. I'm having way more fun. And I'm. I'm like, I'm doing better.

[Dylan Sullivan]

That's great. This was kind of the perfect thing then, because then you got nine months of sobriety to ease you into a more sober life.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And I don't miss alcohol. I miss the coffee and the Baileys because, like, that was such a nice morning. But I can't just.

[Dylan Sullivan]

You were doing these in the morning, Lauren.

[Lauren]

Of course. A coffee Bailey's on Saturday morning.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Oh, that's cool.

[Lauren]

Is where I would start.

[Dylan Sullivan]

That's a great time.

[Lauren]

And then I would want to go get day drunk. I'd go to Rosies. I'd have Prosecco. And it would all start out so fun. I was like, cute. Wanted charcuterie boards.

[Dylan Sullivan]

So what's the point where it turns.

[Lauren]

For you when the sun goes down, you know? And then I'd want to, like, go to a nightclub and do stand up. And I'd want to, like. And then I'd be getting in my head about material that I was going to do, and I would, like, sort of, like, reel in, and I would use my partner as material. And so, yeah, so I don't. So I would start, like, accumulating fun, contrasting jokes, and I would start shooting them at him and just, like, making sure he was cool with them, which he never, ever was.

[Dylan Sullivan]

They were really, like, deep cuts and.

[Lauren]

Actually personal, which were awesome content.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But, yeah, that didn't. Didn't go over so super well.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I'm. I'm a super happy drunk. So I get drunk and I get jealous. No, because that's. Then becomes the problem. I'm social and outgoing, and then when I'm not, I'm a weirdo. So it's like, I can't. I gotta figure out how to do this sober before I get to being. If. If I would have drank five drinks before this, you would have been like, wow, look at Dylan.

[Lauren]

I feel like we should do another one.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, they're. They're gonna like that episode a lot more there.

[Lauren]

What makes you different?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I just. I don't care about anything.

[Lauren]

Same.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't care about.

[Lauren]

But you're. You sound happy.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I did. Well, I've been doing the meditating thing because I gotta figure out something, you know?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And so I just try to clear my head before things. Anxiety is a motherfucker. It really is.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

To who you are as a person.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Dylan Sullivan]

So now if I can't do it with booze, I have to figure out other ways. I'm still gonna drink a lot, but.

[Lauren]

You know, that's clear. Not an option to quit.

[Dylan Sullivan]

No. No.

[Lauren]

And you can't get pregnant, which was my only way of doing it yet. True. Things could change.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. The pregnancy was a blessing then.

[Lauren]

Yeah, for sure. It took me getting pregnant to get sober.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I quit smoking by getting Covid. Really bad.

[Lauren]

Really?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah, I got it really bad. But I still needed the nicotine, so I switched over to pouches, and then I just stayed on the pouches.

[Lauren]

Like Zins. Yeah. I've tried a Zyn before.

[Dylan Sullivan]

What do you think?

[Lauren]

I like it better than a cigarette.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lauren]

But I don't know. Like, having something in my lip felt very masculine.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And so I can't just, like, drive around and, like, pop one in my mouth and be like, what's up, dudes?

[Dylan Sullivan]

You should think about it. It's pretty good. You could be Zen Mom.

[Lauren]

I could. I'm good now, though. Like, I don't feel like I need anything other than, like, extra coffee.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Well, then what are your vices? A coffee. And.

[Lauren]

I'm trying to think. I mean, it's hard to have a vice when you're pregnant because you can't have anything.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Right?

[Lauren]

Like, you.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I heard you can't have deli meat.

[Lauren]

You're not supposed to have deli meat. That's cold. They say if you pop it in the microwave for 10 minutes, you kill all the bacteria and it's fine.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Oh, well, that's just gross. Then you got warm.

[Lauren]

You're not supposed to. But these are those. Those are, like, things literally from the 1950s. And then they haven't done new research or updated it. So now when you go in and you're pregnant, they tell you all this stuff that happened from the wisteria and all, like, literally from so, so long ago, and none of that stuff has been updated.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. They still got, like, witch protocol and. Yeah, that's weird because people are still getting pregnant. You'd think people would look into that shit.

[Lauren]

Yeah, well, if you do enough research and you read enough books on things, you find out that a lot of that stuff is, like, old, old stuff. Yeah. And you. I mean, there's stuff to look out for. You shouldn't have tuna because of the high mercury. Or mackerel or swordfish or shark, but I don't know who's eating shark in what world.

[Dylan Sullivan]

You gotta cut back.

[Lauren]

Are we. Am I like, damn, no more shark for me?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Guess I'm getting an abortion.

[Lauren]

Yeah, that's one way to do it. Or you're just gonna have a retarded kid.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, those are the options, you know? Yeah.

[Lauren]

Just throw yourself down a flight of stairs. Let me see. Let me see if I have any questions in here for you. Oh, okay. So since you're gay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Sure.

[Lauren]

And since men are promiscuous in gay relationships, how do you feel about open relationships?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Ah, I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can do it. I think I'm too jealous of a guy to get into that. Yeah, I think it's great when people are able to do it, but I'm way too jealous. My ideal is, like, I have someone I really like and then we do, like, threesomes that are fun.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

How do you conduct that, though? Like, no texting afterwards. You know what I mean? Like, how do you have a three. Like, how do you find someone to have a threesome?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I think it's like, you just get into a monogamous relationship and then at a certain point you go, hey, what are we doing?

[Lauren]

God, what a straight guy would give to look into his girlfriend's eyes and say it like that.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Hey, come on.

[Lauren]

If my boyfriend was like, what are we doing?

[Dylan Sullivan]

What are we doing?

[Lauren]

Let's get. We need a third person in here.

[Dylan Sullivan]

No, I mean, y'all do that like five years from now.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. You get the babysitter, you go out and you have a fun night on the town. Call it a business trip, whatever, you know?

[Lauren]

And then what happens if that person, you know, I'm going to tell you a story.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Hit me.

[Lauren]

So I know a guy that's worth millions, hundreds of millions. Okay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Single?

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Has four kids and was married to this really beautiful woman. And they were swingers.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

And they swung with one of their next door neighbors who was a billionaire.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

Probably the only guy that had more money than him that he knew they were swinging up. And she swung towards that guy.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Oh, devastating.

[Lauren]

All the way. So they were having these swinging parties or whatever.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And that guy, I think he was married and had a wife, but she didn't like the guy that had hundreds of millions because he was four. She liked the guy that was her husband, but he liked this other guy's wife, too. And so he left his wife and took the other guy's wife that I know. And they're still together to this day. And it's been years. And so she swung completely out of that relationship. So swinging scares the shit out of me since I know that story.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And I'm like, damn.

[Dylan Sullivan]

So I guess if you end up swinging, always get someone who is poor.

[Lauren]

Yeah, Swing higher.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, yeah. You swing. You swing low and so they can't swing high.

[Lauren]

Right. Because if you get someone that's better than you.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. You got to look for gutter rats.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And that way it's like, yeah, we can't go ahead. Go ahead and enjoy fast food lifestyles. I think that's the.

[Lauren]

Yeah, that would be hard to do, though. You know, I think that would be really hard for me, swinging with someone.

[Dylan Sullivan]

What do you think it is about it, like, seeing.

[Lauren]

Well, I think in theory, it always sounds like a good idea.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Like, I would be open to the idea of it, but the minute that, like, the guy that I'm with starts, like, looking at other girls and he's like, fuck this girl, I'd fuck this one. What about that girl? And I. I would realize how much he was looking at other women and it would make me feel inferior or that. That I, like, wasn't enough.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Right.

[Lauren]

And then having that person come over. I don't know. I feel like this is when lighting candles would go from romantic to like, I'm just setting up a murder scene.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lauren]

Like, this is just how I kill both of you.

[Dylan Sullivan]

But let me present this to you. Like, what if you're the one that's like, hey, do you think that guy is. You get two guys?

[Lauren]

I've asked.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. How'd that go?

[Lauren]

In a theoretical situation, I asked. My boyfriend was like, so would you be open to a threesome? And he was like, you know, at first he was like, no. And all this stuff. And then I was like, well, what if.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I chose another guy? That conversation ended right then and there. That was. There was like, no, that.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Then it got serious.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Then he was like, no, that is not how this is going to go down. And I was like, okay, well, I was just curious if we could go that way. And he was like, no. Yeah. So shut that down really quick.

[Dylan Sullivan]

So.

[Lauren]

I don't think it works that way. Yeah, I don't know.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't know. Still time to figure it out.

[Lauren]

Have you ever had a threesome?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, it was awesome.

[Lauren]

Did it. Have you had one or more.

[Dylan Sullivan]

One.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And how did you find this third person?

[Dylan Sullivan]

They were friends with my friend, and they were a couple. And then so I went over there and then. And it was very. It was very bro y. Like, we start. We played, like, Super Smash Brothers. Like, we were playing video games the whole time. And then the loser of the video game had to, like, blow the other one. It was really, like, a dream come true.

[Lauren]

And then you guys, like, ordered fast food or food Afterwards, we chilled.

[Dylan Sullivan]

We got a couple beers. It was so fun.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Dylan Sullivan]

It was a blast.

[Lauren]

Why didn't you do it again?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I moved.

[Lauren]

Oh, yeah. Well, it sounds like that was, like, a highlight then. It was to remember.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. You can't have too. Too good of a time.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Universe was like, you got to move out of here. This is too sweet.

[Lauren]

What. What kind of guys are you into?

[Dylan Sullivan]

This sounds, like, bad, but, like, I usually tend to date more masculine guys. I don't know what that means, but.

[Lauren]

Like, bodybuilders.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, like, body. They gotta be strong enough to, like, handle this much weight. I don't want to kill a guy, you know, so. No, usually, like, more. More masculine people say that it's, like, internalized homophobia if you don't, like, date someone who's flamboyant. But I just. I couldn't handle it.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't know.

[Lauren]

I feel like a lot of guys at the gym are gay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of.

[Lauren]

There's a lot of undercover gay guys at the gym.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yes. And they all use the sauna at the Gold's Gym. It's like a.

[Lauren]

You're the second person to call out Gold's Gym for gay guys.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lauren]

I guess that's where a lot of them go. And the sauna seems to be a real hot spot for ejaculations, which I don't.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't necessarily get. I. You know. Too wet.

[Lauren]

Yeah, it's a little too steamy for me.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Well, also, it's like, aren't you worried about, like, there's, like, probably 500 members at that gym? Someone's gonna walk in at some point and catch you.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but did they care?

[Dylan Sullivan]

It doesn't seem like. It seems like getting blown at the gym is too, like, integral to their business to. To. To stop doing it. So Gold's Gym kind of like turns a blind eye, I think.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I think so. I think that they are very well aware of what goes on in their saunas.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And they just decide not to clean them until the end of the night.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Poor guy.

[Lauren]

Yikes. Whoever is going in there.

[Dylan Sullivan]

The cum intern.

[Lauren]

Yes. Seriously? That's for the. That's for.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Everyone had to do it.

[Lauren]

It's like hazing the new guy if he can last or not. It's been one of my favorite. I go to this gym, it's not Gold's Gym, but anytime that someone at the gym has been commenting on how big my belly is, I've been just asking them if they're gay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

That's a great one. Yeah.

[Lauren]

I'm like, yeah, I'm having triplets. Are you gay?

[Dylan Sullivan]

What do they say?

[Lauren]

They're like, oh, no. Like, they're like all offended. And I'm like, don't get offended. I didn't get offended that you called me fat.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

It's a solid question.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I'm just asking.

[Lauren]

You didn't know if I was having twins and I didn't know if you suck dick.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, There you go.

[Lauren]

Yeah. That's been one of my.

[Dylan Sullivan]

A lot of inappropriate questions now that you're pregnant.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, mostly just it's p. It's how people treat me. Like around. Just like around. Like people will go to give me hugs and they'll go like this. They'll pretend that I'm so big that they don't want to belly bump me.

[Dylan Sullivan]

What if they're. Because I've done that? I have a pregnant friend and my thought process is it's not that her stomach is huge. It's like, I don't want to kill the baby. So that's why I do the.

[Lauren]

You're not going to kill a baby though.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Hopefully not.

[Lauren]

You're not gonna kill a baby. But that's like one thing that people do. Everybody that has seen me is like, made a comment on how big my belly is. And I'm just like, I have no Torso. I have 3 inch torso. It's like this big. That's all I've got. I've got this right here and that's it. So the baby has nowhere to go right out, you know? And I'm also at the end of this. There's like one week left for, for me. Oh, my Gosh So I mean, this is nine months. This is a fully pregnant person.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Are you doing. I know this is gonna be way inappropriate, but are you doing through the vagina or are you doing through the.

[Lauren]

I'm doing it through my vagina.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I know. Isn't that crazy?

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's nuts.

[Lauren]

It's bananas. I'm just gonna blow it out.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

That's fun.

[Lauren]

It's gonna be disintegrated.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Oh, God.

[Lauren]

I know. But that's the truth of it.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And then my boyfriend wants to catch it.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Oh, really?

[Lauren]

Which is gonna ruin our sex life.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Is. Okay, so is this like an at home birth bath thing?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow. So no epidural?

[Lauren]

No.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Oh, I know.

[Lauren]

Lauren, I know. You wanna come?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yes, please. Is there any. There's no, like, button you can press. That'd be like, I changed my mind about the epidermis. Epidural. You guys have a wet nurse.

[Lauren]

There is a button that I can press. There's a safe word.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Okay.

[Lauren]

And it's epidural.

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's epidural to the point.

[Lauren]

That's good. Yeah. So there is a point in. So you have like this birth plan. Right?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Right.

[Lauren]

And it's like, this is what I expect and where I'm at and what I really want. But if all of that fails, then this is what we do.

[Dylan Sullivan]

You got the fail safe plan.

[Lauren]

There's a fail safe.

[Dylan Sullivan]

So what do they do? What do they do if you.

[Lauren]

So if I, If I say epidural, like, I can't do this? Epidural.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Then they will measure how much I've dilated.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

If you've dilated more than, I think, 7 or 8 centimeters, you can't have an epidural. You're like, it's like too late.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And who checks that? Is that some guy?

[Lauren]

It's like, it's my. My midwife.

[Dylan Sullivan]

They have like a.

[Lauren]

They have like a thing that measures how much you've dilated.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

And so usually when people say they need an epidural, they're very, very close to that thing.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So the odds of me getting to a hospital in time and getting into a room to receive the epidural are very, very low.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

Because I would.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Because you're already.

[Lauren]

I would already be past the point of receiving it. Wow. So I don't foresee the epidural being part of my.

[Dylan Sullivan]

But epidural is the safe word. Yeah. That's funny. That's also my safe word. That's enough. Epidural.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Evadurl but, yeah, no, I don't think that we'll be doing that.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow. Okay. That's exciting.

[Lauren]

I'll let you know how it goes.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Please do. I will shoot me a text.

[Lauren]

It'll be a fun story.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Great.

[Lauren]

Any other questions for me before I ask you about how you feel about guys who are into astrology?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yes. I got one question for you. Do you not like being asked questions about your pregnancy?

[Lauren]

I don't mind it at all.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Do you have another question?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Okay. Yeah. What? Okay. The vagina is like. What are your thoughts about post vagina pregnancy?

[Lauren]

Well, apparently it goes right back to how it was.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow. Nice.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I would expect, you know, like, a balloon. Well, this is like more like your uterus, but you blow it up, and then when you deflate the balloon, it's, like, similar to how it was.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Right.

[Lauren]

But it's, like a little looser.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I would assume.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

That that's probably how my vagina is going to be for a while.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Right. And if not. Kegels.

[Lauren]

Yeah. You just.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

You know.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

The little birthing, the little. The little Pilates ball in between my knees for, like, a long time. Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

But it's worth it, right?

[Lauren]

Yeah. But there's also this plastic surgeon that I know that works solely on women's vaginas after birth.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

And there's all these little tools that he has that can shrink your vagina back down. He has this one that looks like a giant dildo, and it's, like, long and skinny, but when they put it in, it has this. This, like. What is it? Like a microwave pulse? I know it's not. Microwave is not the word I'm looking for. It's this like.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Like, shocking.

[Lauren]

It's kind of like a radioactive thing. But it, like, it's. It warms up and it pulses and it brings your vagina back together.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Wow.

[Lauren]

Yeah. It's a tool that he has, so.

[Dylan Sullivan]

It kind of shocks your vagina.

[Lauren]

It sort of like brings it back in together. But I think you have to wait, like, a year to do that.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Okay. Either that's true, or this guy's a creep.

[Lauren]

I guess we'll find out in a year.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. That's cool, though.

[Lauren]

Yeah. So there's. There's things that you can do. Cool. There's, like, vagina surgery stuff.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Sweet.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Sounds great.

[Lauren]

Anything else?

[Dylan Sullivan]

No, I think that. Is there anything you want me to ask?

[Lauren]

No, I just didn't. I just want to make sure that you have all your vagina questions answered.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I have so many, but, yes, that is.

[Lauren]

Those are. Those are it. For now, yes. If anything else comes to mind, let me know.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Okay. Perfect.

[Lauren]

So how do you feel about guys that are into astrology? Is that too gay?

[Dylan Sullivan]

A little, but I go along with.

[Lauren]

It, you know, depending on how hot they are.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. I want them to like me. I'm. You know, I might think it's nonsense, but if someone's like, I really think you're such a Aries moon. I'm like, aren't I? So, no, I don't really. I don't know if I buy it, but I am definitely down to lie. And if it makes them feel good, I don't want to make them feel shitty. That they like that thing.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Do you? Most of those guys are probably into yoga and stuff like that.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Which to me kind of screams homo. You're gay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Yeah. Which is ironically what I'm looking for.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but you like masculine guys.

[Dylan Sullivan]

That's true. Yeah.

[Lauren]

So you would lean that way. Do you have a celebrity crush?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Tom Hardy.

[Lauren]

I recently found out he was bi. Oh, he's not bi?

[Dylan Sullivan]

No, not bi. I checked.

[Lauren]

Oh, damn. I gotta lie, too.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I heard that one, too. I heard he was bi and stuff.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't know if it's in season right now. You know, some people, like, say they're bi. I think like in the beginning, all those, like, the hot guy actors nowadays, they go, oh, yeah, I'm bi. And I was like, no, you're not. But you just. You just wanted my vote.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And you got it. And you got it.

[Lauren]

So do you have. So besides Tom Hardy, do you have a crush that is either bi or gay? That's famous.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't really know many of the gay bi ones. Usually it's like straight guys that you, like, gravitate to. Yeah. But who knows who's in the closet these days, you know?

[Lauren]

Yeah. So do you find that people who are kind of in the closet come out to. Would. Do they come out easier to gay guys? I mean, I guess they do. That's kind of a silly question, I guess.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Well, like, I dated a guy who was in the closet and it was like, pretty rough. It's pretty. They like. It's. It's rough when they stay in the closet.

[Lauren]

How did you come out?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I came out. I graduated high school a semester early and that's when I came out because I was like, if everyone hates this shit, then I'm not going to be there for it.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

So, yeah, I graduated a semester early, came out And I was all like, you know, I was playing football and popular xyz. And then so I was just like, I don't want to deal with this, so. But then people were mostly cool. There's a handful that didn't like it.

[Lauren]

But I was going to say, was anyone surprised?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, I think most people were surprised. And so, yeah, that took people for a loop. You can play football and be gay. And be gay.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Crazy.

[Lauren]

That's talent.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, it was.

[Lauren]

All right, what's your favorite quality in a guy that you're dating?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I think sense of humor and kindness.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Do you cook?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Some things I'm really good at.

[Lauren]

Like what?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I can bake a really good chocolate cake. And I'm good at burgers.

[Lauren]

Like smash burgers?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, Smash burgers, dude.

[Lauren]

I've been on my smash burger game lately.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Isn't it great? You ever. I just got one of those big metal things that you can press down. Yes. And I got a metal skill pan. I've been killing it.

[Lauren]

Oh, my gosh. See, this is why gay guys are girls best friends.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Let's have burgers. Some fun. Lauren.

[Lauren]

Let's have freaking burgers. I would love that. I, I what? Who? Which burger joint makes the best burger? I will judge you so hard on this.

[Dylan Sullivan]

God, that's tough. Okay, you're not gonna like this answer, but for fast food, I'm still in and out loyalty.

[Lauren]

More than. More than Shake Shack.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Shake Shack's very good.

[Lauren]

You like in and out more than Shake Shack?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, I'd say so. I know. Well, it was that and then also.

[Lauren]

Your first red flag.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Damn. Well, Shake Shack, it's something about they don't really like toast. The bun enough for me.

[Lauren]

No, because it melts in your mouth.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I like a little. I like a little crust. Yeah. Like a little toast.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Dylan Sullivan]

But I think Shake Shack is very good. I like their cheese fries a lot. If I could have In n out burger with Shake Shack cheese fries, that would be a dream.

[Lauren]

I also really like Whataburger.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, I. I love a shit face. I just moved next to, you know, a Whataburger, and I think it's gonna be really bad for me.

[Lauren]

I feel like they nail it with the mustard.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. A lot of places don't do the mustard on the burger.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

But it's very nice touch.

[Lauren]

It's such a good touch.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Mustard, pickles, and the lettuce on a burger.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Oh, I don't do pickles. I don't.

[Lauren]

You don't like pickles?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't like, pick. I like pickles on the side, but I don't do pickles on the burger. I feel like that's my problem with Chick Fil A. It's not, like, their stances. It's like, whenever you get a pickle that you weren't expecting, it kind of, like, stains the bun with pickle juice. And then that gets me all crazy.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I don't like when it stains anything.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah. Gotta. Gotta get a dry pickle on there.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I agree. I'm with you on that. I've been on my burger game lately.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Hell yeah. What. What do you recommend?

[Lauren]

I'm. I also, like, not a damn chance.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Great.

[Lauren]

Here in Austin. That's, like, a really good one. But they don't modify their burgers for you at all. And I'm not a big onion girl.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And I've asked to, like, not have.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Onions on my burgers, and they got offended.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Like, I'm like, okay, I get this is amazing, but I just don't like onions, you know? Like, I understand your stance, but I have money that I want to give you.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Right.

[Lauren]

And you have a product that I'd really like to have.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Right.

[Lauren]

So if we could meet in the.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Middle here and just take the onions off. Not. That's not even asking a lot.

[Lauren]

It's really not.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

What do you think is the best? I'm, like, on a food thing right now. What do you think? Maybe I'm just pregnant. What do you think is the best pizza in Austin?

[Dylan Sullivan]

Ooh. My favorite is actually Pint House Breweries pizza.

[Lauren]

I don't even know what that is. I will have to write that down.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I randomly found it from doing, like, a show there. And they have amazing pizza.

[Lauren]

Is it thin crust or thick crust?

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's a deep dish. Or is that what you call it? Detroit style?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And it's incredible.

[Lauren]

Have you been to Via 313?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I love Via 313 too, and I think Pint House just beats it. Oh. But I know that's a controversial take, but I like Pint House a little bit more.

[Lauren]

And you guys seem to agree.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yep.

[Lauren]

Okay. Okay. Well, then I guess I know what I'm having for dinner.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah, it's great.

[Lauren]

I have had more pizza since I've been pregnant than any other food than ever in my life.

[Dylan Sullivan]

And you're a VIA 313.

[Lauren]

I've been a VIA 313 person.

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's fantastic.

[Lauren]

When I first had VA 313, I didn't like it at all because I'm like, more of the, like, thin crust with the thick, doughy thing on the end on the around it.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I know what you mean.

[Lauren]

That's always been, like, my go to.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So when I had VA3 1 3, I was like, oh, no. It's like thick crust. But then I got into it when I was drinking alcohol.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

All it takes is a few drinks to really appreciate the crust on the outside of a thick crust pizza.

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's incredible. You get all the burnt cheese on it.

[Lauren]

So I came around. I came around.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I'm hard.

[Lauren]

I was like, I thought you meant that, like, complicated at first. And I was like, no, you're not.

[Dylan Sullivan]

I don't get accused of that, man.

[Lauren]

I really don't talk about food all that much. But, yeah, it's great to know, like, where we are on this.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Might be our bonding moment.

[Lauren]

I know when you're pregnant, I'm never gonna.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Please do.

[Lauren]

Well, you're. So far, your only red flag has just been in and out.

[Dylan Sullivan]

That's fair. Everyone's got their burger opinion.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Dylan Sullivan]

We'll try to not make it political.

[Lauren]

Okay, well, where can people find you?

[Dylan Sullivan]

I got an Instagram, if you can believe it. And then I am on YouTube at the Dylan Sullivan Show. And then I got that podcast with my best friend Patrick Depari. Smudgehawks, also on YouTube.

[Lauren]

What is your Instagram handle?

[Dylan Sullivan]

It's Dylan Raysol. D Y L A N R A Y S U L L I need to change it, but I like it. Cool.

[Lauren]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[Dylan Sullivan]

That's right.

[Lauren]

Well, thank you for coming on my show.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Hey, thanks for having me, Laura. That was so fun.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Thank you guys so much for watching. We'll see you next time. First date, baby. Are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? You told your mom about me? Just say, you ready? Delete my Thursday. Your parents are your roommates.

[Dylan Sullivan]

Thursday.