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Check, check, check. One, two. Here we go. Check, check. Okay, here we go. Clapping in three, two, one. That over. Okay, here we go. Welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. The summer is wrapping up. Trying to spend a lot of time at the beach. Trying to ride my bike. You can see the tan. The tan's unbelievable. It doesn't matter anymore. I went to the beach yesterday. I sat in the sun, no shirt, shorts on, no sunblock for an hour and a half. Barely pink. It just. It reflects off of me. I don't even burn anymore. Even the sun looks at me and goes, not worth it. The sun is like Hollywood to me. It just. I just saw. Can I talk about this? No, I can't. I'll talk about this later. We get some. Some work stuff brewing, which is good. Alonzo Boden is my guest today. Is a dear friend, and he is a guy I respect so much and just. He's so funny and so fucking cool and solid. So that's fun. We talked last week. Had a great weekend. I took my daughter. My daughter got a turntable as a gift. I don't know for what now. It was her birthday. Yeah, she's had her birthday. She just had a birthday. She got a turntable and realized she has no records. Coincidentally, a listener reached out to me who runs like a. His name is Kobe, and he runs a thing called Vinyl. Calm Vinyl. Com. Vinyl Con. Not Calm Vinyl Con. And it's a huge record fair, I guess that we. That's what we call it, a record meets. And he gave us some free tickets. So I took my daughter, jumped in the Mustang, drove downtown, went up to this. I. It was so much bigger and better than I imagined. It had a. It had a. I'm not a DJ guy. I'm not into DJs, but they had a DJ who was so fucking good. And it was like 10,000 square feet of just different little indie record sellers. Like, some guys had one folding table and 10 boxes. Other people had like a whole corner section. Amoeba Records had a big section and they had discount boxes for $5 all the way up to the Beatles. I don't know if you know this, but the Beatles White Album, it was numbered. I think a lot of records are, but the White Album, I think in particular might be one of the most expensive albums of all time. And they had the seventh. The seventh numbered white album. And it was going for $70,000, sit right on the wall, $70,000 record. And I looked it up and the number. I was curious, who has number one? And it's Ringo, and it just sold for $790,000, almost a million dollars for a record. That's the number one pressing, the first mono pressing, serial number 0000001. So if you got yourself an old white album, you may want to get it checked out. I think they're all numbered. We bought her. So basically we had to build her collection. So I bought her a bunch of records. We got access. Bold Is Love by Jimi Hendrix, which is my top. Top four albums of all time. Top albums. Astral Weeks by Van Morrison, Blue by Joni Mitchell, Blood in the Tracks by Bob Dylan, Axis Bold Is Love by Hendrix. And that's. I think those are my top four. Anyway, I bought her some Dylan. I bought her some Joan Baez, because that's my mother's favorite artist of all time. She used to go see her in Greenwich village in the 60s. Got her some Neil Young, some Beach Boys, little George Jones, I forget. We bought a bunch, and she came home and started playing records. It was. It was really fun. It was a great day. It was a great. We have some nice dad daughter days. We always have. Since she was little, I. I used to take her, like, take her out of school and take her snowboarding, and she's. She's the best. I love JoJo. And then I did a podcast. I guess I taped it a month ago when I was in New York, and it just came out. It's the We Might Be Drunk podcast with. With Sam Morrell and Mark Norman. And it just came out. And, you know, I try not to be the guy that looks at comments because they can just be so fucking mean and random and people have agendas. But. So I had to look at the comments because I felt like this was a particularly good episode. And that's how at the end of it, they were like, wow, that was fucking great. So I looked at the comments. There's hundreds of comments. They're glowing. It was so nice. It made my day. So many people saying, you know, this guy kills it on every podcast. And I was so happy. He was so funny. It was just really fucking nice. And then there's like, just like maybe three or four out of hundreds that said he's a liberal. Fuck. Fuck. I'm not listening to this one. Really? The one where we don't talk about politics once for an hour and a half. That. So. So I'm disqualified from listening to. Because of how I pull a lever in a fucking voting booth once every four years? Is that it? Is that what this Country's come down to, you just can't tolerate somebody who doesn't agree. It's a fucking demarc. You're supposed to have different points of view and listen to people, and if they're intelligent, maybe you learn something. There's intelligent people on both sides, you know? Anyway, we had a great time. We talked. Did we talk about Epstein? I feel like we talked about Epstein. Anyway, the whole Epstein thing, can everybody just. Oh, by the way, this T shirt they gave me, they gave us a free T shirt at the record at the Vinyl Con. I walked in, and I swear to God, I got recognized so many times by people, which also made me like it even more because I'm with my daughter. And he's like, dude, I'm such a big fan. And then they. And the lady with the T shirts recognized me, and she gave me and Jojo free T shirts. And. And it was just good people. These were, like, cool nerds, you know, Vinyl people, they. They don't spend a lot. They spend their money on vinyl, not haircuts or new sneakers. Good. Easy to get into a conversation with people. You know, you're flipping through a bin, somebody's next to you, you pull up an album, you're like, oh, man, I've fucking heard this one. And. And then they give you trivia about it, and it's. It's just like a lot of smart, interesting people. Really fun. I think they're going to do. Do another one in six months. So I'll announce it because I want everybody to go. Maybe we'll get a promo code from Kobe. Maybe he'll give us a promo code for listeners. Let's see. Anyway, Epstein, forget about it. It's over. It's done. Island's gone. No one's going to jail. There's no files. I mean, there are, but they will never see the light of day. So just stop. Just fucking stop. There's so much more important shit that's going on right now. There's things happening on a global scale that will impact you so much more. There is no fairness. Stop with the fucking. I want justice. There's no justice. Bill Cosby's free right now. Enron happened. Nobody went to jail. The 2008 banking crisis, nobody went to jail. Priests didn't go to jail for fucking centuries. Clinton assaulted women. O.J. went free. Come on, stop. If you have money and you got power, you're not fucking going to jail. It just comes. People don't mind when billionaires can not pay taxes or, you know, Rewrite the legislature. But if they don't get caught, when there's hundreds of the most powerful men in the world colluding to keep things from going public. You think they're going to go public because you're fucking blogging about it? Just stop. There's other shit going on. What happened in your childhood? Do you have a big brother? And he took your toys and mommy and daddy didn't make it right? Go to therapy. Stop. The news is only about Epstein. Big business is fucking running away with this country. Your health coverage will be gone. You, your Medicare, your Medicaid, your voting rights, it's all going to be gone. And you're getting distracted by Epstein. Epstein's dead. And if anybody is going to put the files out, they'll be dead, too. Go play with your kid. Go take a walk with your wife. Jerk off. You know it's always an option. I was just thinking today about college. College. I was just looking at the news, like, a lot of schools are now $90,000. 90. So almost a half a million dollars to put your kid through four years of school. And what do they do? I was reading the New Yorker has this whole article about how everybody in college is using AI for all their assignments and that the teachers are using AI to grade the assignments. So for 90, for a half a million dollars, for four years, your kid will spend 20 minutes inputting prompts to AI for work that would have taken weeks to research and write, handing it in to the teacher, who then could hand it back 20 minutes later because they fucking scanned it through AI themselves so that they can graduate with a degree and then fill out a resume using AI to companies that will read it with AI and so you can get a job where you use. I mean, when did this happen so fast? It's blowing my mind. Don't spend your money on college. Teach your kid to be an electrician or a. A hairstylist. Plumb. Everything's being replaced. I. I saw this woman singing a song with music. It was a pop song that was as good as Dua, Lipa or any of these other talentless models. It was the same kind of music. And it's getting millions of views and they're monetizing it. This guy, I just did a gig in Houston. I did a private party in Houston Friday night, and the guy that ran it and booked me, who's kind of a friend, he. He took a still photo of me, like a headshot. And he made it move. He made it a video. He made me moving my face and hands in the video where it would be. It would have been impossible for me to tell you that that was not. What do they call? Automatron. Automatron, maybe. Whatever. It's not real. And the next election, there's going to be a lot of politicians saying some crazy shit they didn't really say, and no one's going to know the difference. Fucking crazy. So, all right, that's it. Let's get to it. Tour dates coming up. I will be in La Jolla at the Comedy store this weekend, August 29 through 31. One of the best clubs in the country. San Diego, come out. Denver Comedy Works, September 18 through 20. Connecticut at Comics at the Casino, September 26th and 27th, said Mohegan Sun, I think Fairbanks, Alaska. Multiple venues between October 1st and 4th in the Fairbanks area. Vegas at Brad Garrett's October 13th through 19. Chicago at the Den Theater, November 8th. New Orleans at Skank Fest, November 14th through 16. Also coming to San Francisco, Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey, Cleveland, Atlanta. Go to fitzdog.com, get tickets, come out and say hi. My guest today is a regular panelist on NPR's Wait, Wait, don't tell Me. He's kind of blown up from that. Been doing it for 25 years. He's got specials all over the place. He didn't. I think he won Last Comic Standing. I think he won it. Yeah, and he just tore. It's like a monster. He fucking tours more than I do. He's out there. He's got a bunch of TV shows. He was on Jay Leno's Garage. Anyway, I had a great talk in the last week. Here he is, my friend, Alonzo Boden. Amazon gasta menos son riemas. If you know your party's Extension, press or say 1. To leave a message in our company mailbox. Press or say 2. Spoiler alert. 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