Derrick Stroup (Fitzdog Radio #1131) | Greg Fitzsimmons

Summary

Fitzdog Radio #1131: Derrick Stroup

Podcast: Fitzdog Radio
Host: Greg Fitzsimmons
Guest: Derrick Stroup
Date: March 20, 2026
Theme: Honest, hilarious conversation with up-and-coming Southern comedian Derrick Stroup, covering comedy journeys, the grind of the road, cultural perceptions, health struggles, and the joy and challenge of new fatherhood.

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Episode Overview

This episode features Greg Fitzsimmons in conversation with Derrick Stroup, a comic originally from Alabama whose career is rapidly ascending. The two comics dive into Derrick's path through the comedy world, the unique challenges facing Southern comics, life on tour, health battles, and the real personal growth that comes with adversity. Along the way, they cover everything from music rivalries (Neil Young vs. Skynyrd) to parenting, arrests, drug side effects, and favorite golf courses—with plenty of laughs and candid self-reflection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Comedy Seller Experience and New York Initiation

[09:40 – 12:18]

• Derrick on Seller Culture:

  • "Chris Rock sat beside me and he torched me. My accent went on trial." ([11:22])
  • The table of established comics welcoming a newbie by roasting them—Derrick’s accent being a lightning rod for comic banter.
  • Stroup explains loving that “feisty and competitive” environment: “If you really want to know who you are, get on a roast.” (Fitzsimmons, [12:18])

• On Stereotypes About Southern Comics:

  • Derrick navigates being pre-judged for his Alabama roots and draws strength from surprising expectations:
    • “People hear me talk and they go, 'I got him nailed.' And then I'm able to flip it.” ([16:20])
    • He uses humor to subvert the “dumb Southerner” stereotype, even among LA’s “successful, smart people.”

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The Grind of the Road and Balancing Family

[13:56 – 16:31; 29:16 – 30:13]

• On Touring Relentlessly:
  • Derrick details the toll touring takes on diet, health, and personal life.
  • “I'm out there every weekend of my life. Jesus.” ([15:09])
  • Road food: “Now you're Uber-Eating Taco Bell and it's just, there's no way you're going to make it out alive with that.” ([14:32])
• Becoming a Dad:
  • “Six months ago we had our first baby boy.” ([15:56])
  • The joy and emotional challenge of missing his son while traveling: “Every time I see him he looks a little different.” ([29:31])
  • Greg relates, describing missing his own kid’s first year: “I freaked out because I was like, I'm gonna need money.” ([29:38])

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Southern Identity & Music

[16:49 – 22:38]

• Alabama Pride and Stereotype Reversal:

  • “I wish people would look up the authors that have come out of the state of Alabama... We are reading a lot.” ([17:02])

• Music Rivalries & Taste:

  • Lynyrd Skynyrd vs. Neil Young, Southern rock vs. Eagles:
    • Both agree Skynyrd’s “Freebird” is a song you need to “go for the whole ride” with. ([20:18])
    • Fun riffing on “soft ass California rock” vs. “Southern rock anthem.” ([20:03])

• On Elton John:

  • Derrick’s pick for “favorite gay musician”: “Oh, not even close. It's Elton John.” ([21:09])
  • Greg and Derrick trade notes on why Elton’s music holds up (“His lyrics all feel like they were written with intention.” [22:18])
  • Greg tells the story of Elton John improvising a song to an assembly manual. ([23:10])

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Weight, Health, and Sobriety

[13:02 – 36:41]

• Weight Fluctuations, Eating on the Road:

  • Derrick describes former athleticism now “gone,” recent weight gain, road food woes.
  • Tried Ozempic but “beat it” by “drone-strike” doses of edibles: “Every night at midnight, I would just take like 80 milligrams just drone strike, my Ozempic.” ([27:37])

• Autoimmune Diagnosis – Sarcoidosis:

  • "I got an autoimmune disease... Sarcoidosis. I got the Bernie Mac autoimmune.” ([35:23])
  • Detailed struggle: misdiagnosis, fear of death, losing vision, heavy medication (prednisone)—“I spent about seven to eight months completely convinced I was dying.” ([38:07])
  • “All the time I’m on the road taking this medicine...and I can’t see out of my right eye.” ([40:13])
  • Fitzsimmons echoes the hidden struggles behind comedy success: “And then I realize that, like. Yeah, you're a mess.” ([40:19])

• On Sobriety:

  • Both comics discuss quitting alcohol for health/life reasons.
  • Fitzsimmons: “I haven’t had a drink in 36 years...except one night at Kevin Meaney’s funeral.” ([34:57])
  • Derrick: “I didn’t even quit drinking because of the DUIs; I quit drinking, like, four years ago, (because) I got an autoimmune disease.” ([35:23])

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Career, Clean Comedy, and Arrest Stories

[30:41 – 34:30]

• Breaking Out in Comedy:

  • Derrick: “I came up the way you should. I opened for you, Josh Blue, Bert Kreischer, a bunch of different people.” ([30:41])
  • Opened for Christian comic John Crist (“I don't do Christian comedy, but I am clean...learned to step around landmines.” [31:00])

• DUI Stories:

  • Two DUIs in six months—one in Mayberry, one outside Atlanta.
    • “I just got a dui. I can't pull this car out of here. And she's like, okay, listen here. Come here, Foghorn Leghorn.” ([33:24])
  • The hardship became his “bottoming out,” fueling determination for his career.
  • Fitzsimmons: “All change comes from bottoming out... Let them fuck up.” ([34:32])

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Golf, ADHD, and Presence

[41:39 – 43:37]

• Golf as a Respite:
  • Derrick plays golf with fellow comic Nate Bargatze and Greg—agrees golf is “the only thing that’s on my mind...so refreshing.” ([43:10])
  • “Comedy and golf...that’s the only thing that's on my mind. So refreshing.” ([42:58])
  • Greg on golf & ADHD: “People with ADHD are able to hyper focus for short periods of time.” ([43:30])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Derrick (On Southern Stereotypes):

  • “I love flipping the script on people because people hear me talk and they go, ‘I got him nailed’. And then I’m able to flip it and go, you just did to me what you hate that people do to everybody else.” ([16:20])

• Derrick (On the grind):

  • “I’m out there every weekend of my life. Jesus.” ([15:09])
  • “Now you’re Uber-Eating Taco Bell and it’s just, there’s no way you’re going to make it out alive with that.” ([14:32])

• Derrick (About his musical idol):

  • “When I would pre-drink in college, I would play the Elton John live in concert...I mean, Saturday night's all right for fighting.” ([21:23])

• Derrick (On dealing with health and success):

  • “I wish, you know, but when things are going this great, nobody wants to hear that side of it. Not even first.” ([40:36])

• Greg (On openers/comedy clubs):

  • “Comedy Works in Denver is top two comedy clubs in the country. And I say top two, because if I say best, then another club is going to text me, what the fuck?” ([45:05])

• Derrick (On bouncing):

  • “I ran a bar for six years. I was the general manager...I doubled as a bouncer...I’m pretty scrappy. I would never fight today unless it was, like, somebody, like, pushed my son’s stroller over.” ([49:07])

• Derrick (On family roots):

  • “My great grandparents are 100% Irish...my mom, Papa Sweeney from Big Chimney, West Virginia. Lot of Irish coal miners...” ([50:03])

• Derrick (On first time sex):

  • “Jake Walker’s bedroom, and that was my roommate...he had a mounted mallard on the wall and camo comforter. Really? Here it is. Here we go.” ([51:20])

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“Fastballs With Fitz” Segment

[44:07 – End]
Rapid-fire Q&A with Derrick—comedy career “firsts,” worst openers, hackiest bit, first time sex, apology moments, best Asian friend, near-combat on stage, and more.
Highlights:

• Worst opener:

  • “It would be Richard Lockhart, Tuscaloosa, Alabama...did a joke about how tornado shelters are stupid, two nights after a tornado. Walked half the room.” ([57:17])

• Best Asian friend:

  • “Holly Murdoch...white trash in a brown bag. Funniest person, but never romantic.” ([53:47], [54:07])

• Hackiest bit:

  • “I’d like to think I’m having a hard time remembering it for the fastball session...this is for sure a slider.” ([58:22])

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Important Timestamps

• Comedy Cellar initiation and roasts: [11:00–12:18]
• Weight, health, and Ozempic saga: [13:06–15:02; 27:17–28:09]
• Autoimmune disease/sarcoidosis journey: [35:23–39:48]
• Balancing comedy/fatherhood: [29:16–30:13]
• Golf, ADHD, recreation: [41:39–43:37]
• “Fastballs With Fitz” rapid-fire Q&A: [44:07–End]

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Tone & Style

Highly conversational and honest, peppered with Fitzsimmons’ iconic dry humor and Stroup’s Southern wit. Both comics share freely about mistakes, struggles, and the messy, hilarious parts of their journeys. The tone vacillates between raucous laughter, self-deprecating banter, and surprisingly vulnerable, reflective asides.

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Conclusion

A riotously funny, revealing episode that sees Derrick Stroup proving why he’s a comic on the rise, while Fitzsimmons draws out the often unseen struggles beneath comedy’s surface. The episode blends classic road stories, raw admissions, quickfire comedy wisdom, and a heartfelt look at family and growth. For comics, fans, and anyone chasing a dream (or getting knocked down along the way), this is a perfect blend of humility, honesty, and humor.

Derrick Stroup’s special “Nostalgic” is now on Netflix, and tour dates are at derrickstroup.com (no 'e' at the end).

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Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Hi, welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. I'm Greg Fitzsimmons, your host. I'm coming to you from Greenlab Studios here in Beverly Wood, California. It's about five miles south, no, two miles south of West Hollywood. Still pretty gay. We're keeping it gay here in the studio. I had a big St. Patrick's Day show. The whole gang from Greenlab Studios was there. Daniel's not there, but Paul, who owns the place, was there and he was feeling good. He was feeling good. He had. He had substances in him. And Doug Benson, who's our resident pothead comedian, found Paul in the audience and they had a very funny back and forth. And Amber Easton, who is one of our producers, was there. She hosted the show. She did a beautiful job. Everybody loved her. And. And it was a good green room hang, I thought, wasn't it? We had. Nick Swartz was in there and Sarah Silverman and Doug and Brad Williams. Was so fucking great to have dwarf on your St. Patrick's Day show. It's like. It's like. I don't know what else to say. It's like having Chris Rock during Black History Month on your pod. Can we work on that? Anyway, Brad was very funny. Some guy was wearing a Lucky Charms hat and he goes, you're fat. My culture is not your fashion. And then he leaped in the air. We have some great photos I'm going to post today that they took at the. But I love it. Look, I love and God, I love Sarah Silverman. She's been the cool. I've known her since we were 23 years old. And she has always been the coolest kid in the room because she doesn't try to be cool. She's just a fucking goofball. And she's dirty and she's like a dude. She's like a hot dude. I love it. So she hung out for a long time. Anyway, St. Patrick's Day, I started this show 20 years ago. I started doing it at the Hollywood Improv because There is no St Patrick's Day in LA. It's. It's just ignored. So I made a night where we could play some Irish music. And usually we have Irish soda bread. And last year we had live music, but I got a little lazy this year. But then I went to college in Ball. I grew up in New York, marching with my grandfather with the Ancient Order of Hibernians, which is really the ira. And we would march and we would drink. And I was a teenager. I was the teenager who was pissing on mailboxes at 4 in the afternoon. And then I went to school in Boston. And that parade is insane because it's in South Boston, which is the all Irish section of Boston. Well, there's a few, but that's the main one. And they have kind of an open door policy. The parade goes on for hours and everybody opens their door and you can literally walk in and out of everybody's house. They all have a bar set up, they got food set up, and it's incredible. So I was coming up, I was coming back, I guess from spring break, from New York on a Greyhound, back up to school, back up to Boston. And I bring a six pack, which is what I would usually do. And I sit in the back row and I sit next to this girl, pretty hot girl, pretty face. And I split the six pack with her. And then we made out, which was a good ride up. And so then we got there and. And she went to Boston College, I went to bu. So we got off at different stops and I got her number and then I invited her to the St. Patrick's Day parade, which was like the next week. So she shows up, I meet her down in Southie, and she shows up and I see her and just so cute, such a cute face, huge ass. I didn't see it. She was seated the whole ride up and I had no idea. And I look, I like a big ass, but this thing was like rotund. This was medieval. This was like the ass of a fucking, you know, like a. Like a Honduran in the Bronx. And so we had fun at first, and then I started to realize that she's kind of a douche. Like, she was like, why are the firemen all marching and they're hanging out in bars? Like, what if there's a fire? And then there was like people on the roof partying. What if somebody falls off the roof? And then she's like, there's no black people. I'm like, yeah, that's the point. It's St. Patrick's Day. Can we get a break? Can we get one day off? No, I'm kidding. But that is the attitude in South Boston. So what? So there's no black people for one day. Can. Can we get over that? So anyway, we went to this one house. We're walking in and out of houses, and we go into one and. And it's some real like gangster Whitey Bulger hard ass dudes, you know, just all Celtics jackets and Scully caps like the one I'm wearing. And. And she was a Little nervous. And then she had. But she had to take a piss. And so she asked if she could use the bathroom. And I go, I don't know if that's a good idea. She's like, no, I really got to go. So she went to the bathroom and I left. I left her. I was like, I'm done. I'm trying to enjoy my St. Patrick's Day. So I don't know whatever happened to her, she's still out there. Colleen was her name, which why I invited her. Hey, Colleen, how'd that piss go? All right, coming up, Janesville, Wisconsin. This weekend, I will be at the comedy cabin. That's March 20th and 21st. Bakersfield at the well, April 18th in here in California. Escondido, April 24th, 25th. And then I'll be up there in Boston. Laugh. Boston on May 29th and 30th. Then I got some gigs up in New Hampshire and Maine. Go to fitzdog.com, get some tickets. Also, I want to remind you guys that spring is here. You want to spend more time outside, less time in the kitchen. That's why we have got for you Tempo Meals. Oh. They deliver them to your home, but it's not like a block of ice. It's not a brick that you need to put for nine minutes in boiling water and then microwave for an hour and a half. That's an exaggeration. But this is two minutes. It's fresh. I had the spicy creole braised pulled pork. Are you joking with me right now? Greg Fitzsimmons, Are you serious about the meals available? Yes. And they got all kinds of, like, fit your diet. They've got the protein packed meals with 30 grams of protein. My God. They've got the GLP1 balanced meals. If you're trying to stay on track with your goals, Maria Sharapova swears by Tempo. So, I mean, I don't know if she's still on the tour, but she's Russian. They have pretty high standards for food, right? Anyway, fresh chef crafted dietitian approved meals right to your door. Takes two minutes. I think I've said that. But look, I'm tired of. Say, are you tired of, like, realizing that you have no food in the fridge now you gotta drive to the supermarket, you gotta check. And it's not one of those meal programs where they. They mail you a head of lettuce and a carrot that you have to peel and chop. I'm not Chef Boyardee. I'm a guy with a life. Send me the meal make it. I'm paying you to make it. I'm not paying you. I'm not to wholesale a meal to me. Tempo, two minutes in the microwave for a limited time. Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. That's practically free. Go to tempo meals.com fitz that's tempo meals.com fitzdog for 60% off your first box. Tempo, Tempo meals.com fitzdog rules and restrictions may apply. They may. What are the restrictions? I mean, you can't eat with your hands. All right, so listen, my guest today is a guy who is just blowing up. He is touring the country hard. He's a guy out of Alabama originally. You'll hear that in his accent in just a few seconds. Very funny, dude. Here's my interview with here with Derek Stroop. All right. I'm joined this afternoon by this big guy with a big smile. Got a little bit of product in his hair. Derek Stru. Talk to me about the grooming of the hair.

[A]

What goes into it, you know, I did Good Morning la.

[B]

Oh, you did? Aren't they great?

[A]

They were the best.

[B]

They are.

[A]

I mean, I was trying to keep up with them. They were fun, Jen. I can't remember which one that was. All three of them were doing well. Yeah, yeah. But they were, they were so kind and we, we had a blast. I mean, I put gel in my hair to perform on st Stage, but if I'm just bouncing around doing a podcast, I'd usually have a hat on or something.

[B]

But now you've got a little gel.

[A]

Little gel? Yeah. Like a pomade, right? You know, that kind of clay, sticky stuff. I'll use a little bit of it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's fun. I, I, I usually use like a, yeah. Laughing.

[A]

Yeah, well, the hat makes a lot more sense. Yeah, I get that.

[B]

I had fun with your hair. Enjoy it while you have it.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

How old are you now?

[A]

41.

[B]

Little gray in the beard.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Just now getting there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right on time.

[B]

Yeah, it seems right.

[A]

I like the opening description of me is like, it was perfect. Like if somebody couldn't see, they could have their eyes closed and they know what they were looking at.

[B]

Well, a lot of, actually a lot of my listeners are listeners. They, because I started 15 years ago.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

A lot of my people, they listen

[A]

instead of, it was like a great, like, as you were describing, I was like, that's perfect. We got this big guy with the product in his hair. That's fun.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I Also think I want you to know how people see you. I think that's important.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

I don't get enough of that.

[A]

No, you're right. You're right. In New York City, I get a good idea.

[B]

Hey, you fat.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm a little overweight. I'm sorry I was in the way, you know.

[B]

Or you walk into the Comedy Cellar, and Bobby Kelly and Keith Robinson, they'll explain to you a lot about yourself.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was there a moment? Because I know you're a seller guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was there a moment? Because a lot of comics talk about, you know, you moved to New York, obviously, there's a million comics, and, you know, once you get into the A rooms, it's like, it's a big deal.

[A]

It is.

[B]

And they say, you know, you're in at the Cellar when that table in the corner starts shitting on you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

A moment where that happened for you.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, there was. There. It's. They've eased into it. I mean, I got it pretty heavy. Like, my second week there, Chris Rock sat beside me and he torched me. My accent went on trial. I mean, we got to a point to where he was talking about. He was like, I won't even give white bankers my money. And then he stopped and he goes, I think your accent has triggered this rant. And I was just sitting there. I didn't have anything to say back, but it was quite the introduction, so. Yeah. Yeah. But they're pretty, you know, they're pretty nice to me that, that culture changed a little bit from what I hear. I wish that I could have been around kind of that old seller culture some people like. No, you wouldn't, Derek. But they don't know me. Yeah.

[B]

Take care of yourself.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And. And I'm a little feisty and competitive, and I like that environment. But, yeah, I've hung out with Keith and those guys, and they're not shy to tell you exactly what they think about you.

[B]

No, and. And that's the other thing I say about, if you really want to know who you are, get on a roast, be one of the roasters.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

And you will, like, people say to me things that, like, I usually thought, like, all right, maybe I'm skinny, I'm pale, I'm bald. Okay. Not aids.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

AIDS a lot.

[A]

That's a tough stray to catch, my man.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, I, I, you know, my stuff's like, you know, pretty low hanging fruit. You know, they're gonna talk about me yelling on stage and.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That sort of thing. They're like, well, de. He doesn't have to worry about writing anything. If the joke doesn't work, he'll just yell it at him. So. Yeah, nobody's safe. Nobody's safe.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, was weight always in. I'm not saying it's an issue now, but.

[A]

No, it is.

[B]

It is. But was it, Were you a kid? Were you a plump kid?

[A]

No, no, I was like athletic, like thick kid. Not like fat, like just an athlete.

[B]

Play football.

[A]

Play football, Basketball, baseball. I mean, yeah, yeah. And now I was such a good basketball player that I won't talk about it now because I can't watch people's faces change as I try to tell them what I was capable of. Like, it's like there, it's, it's like such a leap for them to wrap their heads.

[B]

Leap wasn't the word that came into my head when you said you play basketball.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like. And I can get worked up because I was a Hooper and, and you know, nobody. It's not fun to even talk about because it's like it doesn't matter anymore. But yeah, I, I, I probably, I gained the most weight probably, like in the past. I would say like three to four years.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

New York.

[A]

Well, no, just like a few different variables, but just not taking care of myself, living on the road, you know, like, I've just been pounding clubs. I mean, I very rarely take off and, you know, I'm eating at midnight every night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've got sensitive taste buds, very slow metabolism, Tough combo. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Well, it's tough because you're in a comedy club. It's all deep fried. That comes in a basket. 100, no vegetables.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

And a lot of times they put you in a hotel where there's no restaurant and you're not close to restaurants. Like, did you guys factor in when you booked me at this hotel that I might need meals?

[A]

Absolutely, yeah. I mean, it puts you on an island. Now you're uber eating Taco Bell and it's just, there's no way you're going to make it out alive with that. Yeah, but I've gotten recently, you know, in this new hour that I'm building, I've talked, I've got, I look at

[B]

you trying to bring in your plug for your. We'll get to it.

[A]

No, no, that's not what I'm trying to I truly, that was, the segue was in this new hour, I've started to run, I've started to eat healthier in the past month and that sort of thing. So that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. It'll end soon. But.

[B]

But you're also like, I mean, I'll read some of your dates later, but like, dude, you're on the red every week for a year.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. I mean, finally somebody said it. Yeah. I'm out there every weekend of my life. Jesus. Yeah.

[B]

Now has it been like that for a while?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it is. I, I write on stage a lot. I, I'm addicted to the progress I see when I commit myself to being on stage that much.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

I can't say that, you know, the big push I've made in the past several years wasn't because I have just. I have a microphone in my hand all week, every week.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, and it's, and it's paid off. And that doesn't work for everybody. Depends on what ceiling you got. But that formula is working for me now. I, you know, I just had a baby and all that, so I'm trying to learn how to balance. Yeah. Six, six months ago we had our first baby boy. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Super exciting.

[B]

And your, your partner, are you married? I am a partner. And you're special.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I am married.

[B]

Why do you say partner? Are you guys both trans or something?

[A]

No, I don't think I, I don't think. I mean, I did come up in the Denver scene, so for a Southern comic, there's not victims in my jokes. I'm very conscious about how I say things, you know, and I'm very aware of how people receive this accent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I love flipping the script on people because people hear me talk and they go, I got him nailed. And then I'm able to flip it and go, you just did to me what you hate that people do to everybody else.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And now here we are.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the thing about the Southern accent is. And I perform in the South a lot. I was just in Texas for two weeks and it's amazing how much more open minded, like you live in la, these people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And these are successful, smart people I know in the industry.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And they talk about the south and they literally say the word dumb.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

And it's like, when's the last time you were in fucking?

[A]

Yeah. Lexington, Kentucky. Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wish people would look up the authors that have come out of the state of Alabama. Just look at the list. I mean, there's some tough political history, but we are reading a lot. And I love that. I love that you brought that up. That's the chip on my shoulder. I mean, in the cellar, I do it all the time. I'll make fun of myself at first to make them feel comfortable, and then I'm coming after them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kind of making fun of what they thought about me, what they assumed about me. So it's fun to talk like this and to be much smarter than what they anticipate. I've got all the leverage.

[B]

When you grew up, obviously, one of the biggest beefs in music history, besides the east coast, west coast rap, was Neil Young and Leonard Skinner.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Sweet home Alabama.

[A]

That's right. It's in the song.

[B]

And then. And then Neil Young. Neil Young's was just called Alabama, right?

[A]

That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So how did. Was that something when you were growing up that you guys were like, fuck Neil Young?

[A]

No, I didn't grow up, like, conscious of that situation or, like, cared about that situation. Like, I. I didn't. I didn't get that deep into it, thank goodness. I was just listening to the music just to listen to it. But we weren't, like, sitting around like, you know, screw Neil. We're not listening to, you know, that didn't. That didn't happen. I do. I do love Lynyrd Skynyrd, but.

[B]

Of course you do.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But it's not like I'm not listening the pre Freebird thinking anything political.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's an assumption that people might make, which is just crazy. I'm just. That's listening.

[B]

Interesting you say that because you ever see those reaction videos when they have people listen to a song for the first time?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the camera's on them.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

That. There's a black guy. That's the sweetheart. Yeah. Freebird. It's the best one.

[A]

Yeah, it's. It's so good. I actually. I love those videos. I've seen several of them, but that is probably the best one.

[B]

He's like. He's as free as a bird, man. Man, he's free as a bird now. I mean, you hear what this guy's saying. He's blowing. He's free as a bird.

[A]

Yeah, I love it. I love it.

[B]

Yeah. That's one of those songs that, you know, we've all been burned out on certain classic rock. Like, I can't listen to Bob Seger. Ever again in my life. And you know Paul's gonna see the Eagles on my hand. When the Eagles come on my radio, I actually pull a muscle sometimes trying to get my hand to the dial fast enough.

[A]

I get that. You just heard it so much.

[B]

I'm not saying they're not great songs.

[A]

Yeah, I get that.

[B]

But when I hear Freebird come on the really any. Give me three steps like Freebird.

[A]

I'm changing my channel too though.

[B]

Free Bird.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard it a trillion times. Yeah, yeah. Well we were just on the. I was joining you in changing it when it gets on Freebird then you flipped on me. No, I thought we were changing the channel together.

[B]

I was talking about.

[A]

And then I go, yeah, I'd change it too. And you go, what a monster. What do you think? What's going on here?

[B]

What a beast. You Alabama people really are all the same.

[A]

Geez.

[B]

Now listen, the Eagles are different than. Than Leonard Skynyrd.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I mean they're soft ass California quote unquote rock. Listen, Skinner is southern rock.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

And it's an anthem when that. Here's that. If it's halfway through the song. Yeah, I'll change it.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Because you got to go for the whole ride.

[A]

Yeah, I like that a lot.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

There is, there is. And all of it's important to the build up.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because it's got such a build. And then at the end he's free and so are you. What a ride. Yeah, yeah, I'm with you now. What you don't. You're not going to talk about. This is a little bit more niche as a southerner. The band Alabama. Okay, those are my boys.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

They're like the Oak Ridge Boys but a little bit further south. If you've never heard them, they harmonize beautifully.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I mean they really. I mean it's, it's these guys and they're Fort Payne, Alabama. Randy Owen, the lead singer. They're. They're the best. Now that's probably my all time favorite band. But on a, you know, a nationwide scale. They're not going to be quite as big as as Leonard Skynyrd. But the band Alabama is worth the listen. Your listeners all know who they are.

[B]

Alabama's great. Who's your favorite gay musician?

[A]

Oh, not even close. It's Elton John. Yeah, I used to I. When I would pre drink in college, I would play the Elton John live in concert where he has the red piano and I mean it would it

[B]

video or yeah, yeah.

[A]

It was like a CD video. I would bounce between that and Garth Brooks live. Just depend on the. You know how I was feeling that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But, I mean, Saturday night's all right for fighting. I mean, that song was. I mean, I'm a big Elton John fan.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know anything about the piano, but I. I love when he plays it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge Elton John fan.

[B]

Yeah. He's. He's one of those guys. There's. There's some songs I'll change, but I. I think top 10 songs of all time is Funeral for a Friend, that one that starts out just on piano, and by the end, it's just a swell. Oh, man, that is a masterpiece.

[A]

It really is. I mean, there's so many. I mean, when you listen to a catalog of music, there's a lot of times I'll bounce around, but with Elton, I'll go on the whole journey. I really don't change much.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I mean, what's it called? Your song? Yeah. I mean that. I mean, when he. His lyrics all feel like that they were written with intention.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Not like, here's a catchy tune that I think the charts will love.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I love listening to a song that. It's like, this is for a love of mine. This is for Peter. We've separated. But what we had at one point was unreal. Hit it, Rick. You know, now. Now we're in some feelings.

[B]

Yeah. Well, you know, Bernie Toppin wrote the lyrics and he would basically send them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Elton John. And Elton would just sit there with the words and just come up with the music. And so every, like, my best friend Mike Gibbons shits on Bernie Top, and he thinks he doesn't like the lyrics. I think the lyrics are amazing, but a lot of people shit on Elton John's lyrics.

[A]

I. I've. I've seen that in a Reddit thread.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was a tough one to come across, so.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Well, I'm down here telling everybody it's brilliant, and they're like, anybody that thinks this is brilliant is an idiot. And I go, whoop, that hurt. You know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm with you. We're. We're in sync on this one.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

But. So basically, Elton John was on stage one time and there was a Q and A going on, and somebody in the audience walked up with an assembly manual for. For an oven.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they said, play a song to this.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And he started playing chords and he sang a melody to the instruction manual to an oven. And it was kind of as good as anything. It was amazing. You gotta find it.

[A]

I love that you. That. That was a moment that you got to see without the lyrics. And that was just Elton's music. Right. Going with some random words. That's funny. It's kind of like when Tom Brady left Belichick and you go, oh, I thought it was the other way. I thought it was the other way. Hey, hey, come on. We're connecting dots.

[B]

Yeah. I think, I think Bellich. Is that why he didn't get into the hall of Fame this year?

[A]

You know, I think there was something deeper and more per. I. I think it was about the cheating a long time ago and they

[B]

just wanted flat gate.

[A]

I think it was so minor. It was. But there was also some videoing. There was a few things that got brought up and I think that they kind of meant it as a. Because he's going to go to the hall of Fame. But I think it's a slap on the wrist street justice, if you will, by other owners to go. We know these things happened. We think, and they're not going to go public with it because it all gets messy, that you won a Super bowl by some advantages. And this is how we're going to push back. Because the only thing that we can do is make you a second ballot and take the first ballot from you. That's just me, you know, if I was on, you know, talk radio, that'd be the angle.

[B]

Because statistically, you can't argue what this guy has.

[A]

Absolutely not. Yeah. Crazy records. Unreal. So many Super Bowls. That's why I think that it was a little bit of street justice. They wanted to rough him up a little bit. Just go, hey, we know what happened. We just want you to know that. But still, here's the respect of the hall of Fame, but not on the first time.

[B]

I think they're a little creeped out by the 27 year old girlfriend too.

[A]

Well, that checks out. I don't know if you take that out on a Hall of Fame voting, but that is kind of weird.

[B]

It is really weird.

[A]

It is. I know that, you know, social gatherings can't be, you know, completely comfortable in that. You know what I mean?

[B]

Well, what do you talk about? Like you can't talk to them as a couple. You can only. You can split them up.

[A]

Yeah. Individually, you're right here. You're with Belichick. Got a little fiber conversation. You go over here. It's tick tock. You know, it'd be a tough balance. You know.

[B]

Yeah. There's no Tick Tock videos about fiber.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

They're two separate.

[A]

There might be an avenue there, but. Yeah, we.

[B]

How old is your partner? We saying wife?

[A]

Yeah, wife. Wife's fine. I just learned that I said partner in a special nine minutes ago. I forgot. I didn't even know that. My wife, Alyssa, she's 32.

[B]

Oh, and you're 41.

[A]

I am, I am. Yeah.

[B]

That's a pretty good grab.

[A]

Yeah, that is a good grab. But that's, you know, that's not something that I like strategically played out. It just worked out really well.

[B]

You meet. Was she in the audience when you met her?

[A]

No, she was not. No, it was probably worse. We worked together. Your little manager, employee combo at the retail store.

[B]

Who is the manager?

[A]

Oh, come on, you big dog. You know what I mean. I was running the warehouse, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And classic love story from a retail store. You know, you bump into each other on aisle three type thing. But yeah, that's where our love started. And I was glad, you know, that meant a lot to me. That was like eight years ago, last day job that I had. But since so much has changed in my life, I was glad that she met me then, you know, before things, because I was just. I mean, I was. I was the assistant store manager at a big lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no way that she was like, I'm investing in this guy because we have. We have long term money coming.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

You know, she was like, you know, this chubby guy's got some edge.

[B]

Well, and you. And you were thinner back then.

[A]

I was, I was about 40 pounds lighter. Your boy was. I was some trouble. 40 pounds lighter? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, because you're not a bad looking guy.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

Pretty eyes.

[A]

Yeah. It's like a good looking guy got stung by bees. Yeah. You know what I mean? You go, that guy's very handsome and he needs some Benadryl to get him back to where we had him.

[B]

Now, you're not gonna. With the Ozempic, are you? Or is this not.

[A]

I tried it. I tried it for four months and this is not. I mean, I've. I did it for four months. I lost seven pounds. Yeah, that's it. The doctor was like, you're the only person that's like kind of beat Ozempic, but I had some edibles really pushing against science on the other side.

[B]

So it was a cocktail of edibles with Ozempic.

[A]

Every night at midnight, I would just take like 80 milligrams just drone strike, my Ozempic, and it didn't stand a chance. I mean, they're gagging, eating brownies.

[B]

Okay, dude, you should make an animated short about your body at midnight.

[A]

Oh, yeah, just show my stomach.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like the edibles in there with a Grateful Dead shirt just beating the heck out of this lab suit.

[B]

Yeah. And the Ozempic is like a trainer. He's like a trainer in spandex.

[A]

I love. I love the thought of illustrating that. But that's. That's. That's true, though. Yeah.

[B]

So you lost eight pounds, and you said. Fuck. Was there. Was there a downside? Because I hear you don't want to drink as much on it.

[A]

I don't drink.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'm just an edibles guy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And so I didn't. I didn't run into that there was. I felt every day that I took the shot from the. From the first day, I felt the worst. And then as I got further away, I would feel better each day. Right. And then. So by the time you were feeling normal again, it was time for your next shot. That's a lot of fun.

[B]

Let's discuss erections. Was there any effect on those?

[A]

I would say in a good way.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Like the other way. Yeah. Yeah. And it might have been. Just maybe it was controlling my diet or something like that. I don't know. But, yeah, I'm pretty sure my wife, she might have got pregnant while I was on Ozempic.

[B]

I wonder if that'll make a smaller baby.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know if you saw Seth. I mean, he's healthy.

[B]

Is he?

[A]

Yeah, he's in the 90 percentile. I don't know what he's doing right now, but I guarantee it's eating.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a big boy.

[B]

And was. Was it natural delivery or was it natural? Yeah, yeah, it's great. That's great, man.

[A]

It is great. Yeah.

[B]

And so what? So is it tough being on the road now with the baby?

[A]

Yeah, it's brutal. She sent me a picture earlier, and, I mean, it really was like a gut punch. It's, like, hard to get not. Not to get emotional sometimes because he's at that age where things are changing so. Best every time I see him, he looks a little different.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So, yeah, there's no denying that. You know, my wife hates when I say this, but it was a lot easier to leave before he got here, you know?

[B]

No, I missed the first year of my kid's life. I freaked out because I was like, I'm gonna need money. I gotta put a kid through college. So I just, I call my agent. I took every date he offered me. And my wife, after a year, she's like, yeah, hey, we gotta. We gotta talk about this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, so, I mean, I think you're in a place now. You've done a couple Tonight shows, you got this Netflix special, you're selling tickets on the road, and you're going to be in a position where you can start to dictate your schedule.

[A]

Yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I've got some theater dates in the second half of the year.

[B]

Oh, that's good.

[A]

Yeah. And that's just shorter weekends.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, if I can just go out on a Friday and Saturday and come home now, I mean, I do the crate. I mean, I'll do Thursday through Saturday, then I'll do another club in another city on Sunday. Now I've done six, seven shows on the weekend. Yeah, it's a crazy pace to.

[B]

So how long you been making real money?

[A]

I would say three years.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I would say three years is when I started making making real money. Yeah, I, I was an opener. I came up the way that you should, and a lot of people used to.

[B]

You open for me?

[A]

Yeah, I opened for you open for Josh Blue, Bert Kreischer, a bunch of different people before I came up and

[B]

really got tour with them.

[A]

Yeah, I. I toured. I mean, I did several, you know, probably five or six cities with Josh. John Crist was a guy that I went out with for probably three years.

[B]

See the Christian comic.

[A]

He's a Christian comic. I don't do Christian comedy, but I am clean.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was the, you know, the palate cleanser up top. And that's where I kind of learned to step around landmines. Weren't. Learn how to talk to crowds and tell jokes that worked in any room. Because I never wanted to be pigeonholed as a Christian comedian, because I'm not. But I wanted to be able to tell clean jokes or, you know, my version of clean. Nothing too vulgar in every, in every room.

[B]

Are you vulgar offstage?

[A]

I can be, yeah. I've got a little bit of a mouth on me.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Not like, not like over the top. Just I, you know, I cuss in conversation like adults do, but I'm not like a totally different brand of person.

[B]

You ever been arrested?

[A]

Yeah, Yeah, I got two DUIs. No, no, I'm a real comedian.

[B]

Oh. That's why you don't drink?

[A]

Yeah, I. Yeah, I haven't, but I

[B]

got those, like, stripes when you're a comedian, those DUI? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like a merit badge.

[A]

Exactly. Sixteen years ago, I got two DUIs in six months.

[B]

So do they take your license away or.

[A]

Yeah, just. Just for a short amount of time. But I just. I never drove again after that. Yeah. Yeah. It was just so traumatizing. I'd never even had a speeding ticket, And I got two DUIs in six months. And I say this on stage, and it's true. I say six months because it sounds better than four, but. Yeah, and so they were very upset. I mean, they were very mad. That's why I moved to Colorado. The justice system, the whole thing.

[B]

Were they going to put you in jail?

[A]

I mean, the second one it came down. The first one I got was in Alabama, and it was like, Mayberry. Like, they brought me in. They didn't put me in the cell. They, like, brought me pecan pie, and they were like, you can't drive drunk. You go kill somebody, you know? And then they just, like, let me go. And then I got one outside of Atlanta, Georgia, and they were pissed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, it was. And. And I had a really good case. I got a. I got my second DUI in a parking lot of a wedding in a vehicle that I honestly wasn't going to drive. I was heating up the vehicle, truly. And the cop came over and was like, I know that there's a wedding. We've been out here all night. We were going to take it to trial, but the. The DA and the judge told us if we took it to trial because they knew we had a good case, that they wanted max penalties on their side. So that would have been five years prison. It would have probably been closer to two after the dust settled.

[B]

You weren't driving. Isn't that a pui. Part of the influence.

[A]

Keys were in the ignition.

[B]

That's all it takes.

[A]

That's all it takes. That's all it takes. And when she walked up to the window, I led with. Because this is. I mean, I was also very drunk, but I go, oh, I'm not. I'm not driving anywhere. I don't even have a license presence. I go. I go, I just got a dui. I can't pull this car out of here. And she's like, okay, listen here. Come here, Foghorn Leghorn. Let's talk about this. And so then, you know, it just went downhill from there. But it's. It's really, in hindsight, And I mean, this. And it's crazy, but it changed my life in. In my direction. It changed a little bit of who I was at my core. Yeah, it, like, woke me up. I was so. You know, it's interesting to do this, but I was so mad. I mean, with myself, but a lot of people just immediately quit on me. You get two DUIs that quick, you lose your car, you lose your home. It pissed me off. And then I kind of became a very obsessed, determined person where I was like, I'm gonna move to Colorado. I'm gonna try to chase this comedy, and these people are gonna pay for what they've done and what they do. Nothing. I was the one that drove, but I. I kind of tricked myself into making this, like, a big revenge story.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I created the whole situation.

[B]

Well, I think all change comes from bottoming out, you know, that's why I got kids that are 25 and 22, and I really did. We made a very conscious choice as parents to go, let them fuck up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let them get in trouble, because, like, you know, they're gonna. You're gonna just get a kid who is gonna, you know, don't give him a soft landing. I got arrested a few times.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it definitely changed me as well.

[A]

Absolutely. For sure it does.

[B]

I haven't had a drink in 36 years.

[A]

Oh, good for you. Yeah. Quite the run.

[B]

One night, I drank one night.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Remember Kevin Meaney, Comedian? Yeah. Yeah. So he was one of my best friends, and he died, and his night of his funeral, I drank, and that was it. In 36 years.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that is the most excused.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I get that. That was truly for your boy, and you were having a night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's different than, like, a relapse to me.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, and so. Yeah, that. That's totally different. I'm. I mean, I didn't even quit drinking because of the DUIs. I quit drinking, like, four years ago, and I got an autoimmune disease and got on steroids. I eventually became pretty responsible. No, no, no. Sarcoidosis. I got the Bernie Mac autoimmune. Autoimmune disease.

[B]

Is that what. He died?

[A]

Yeah, eventually. Cardiac arrest, which comes from sarcoidosis. But you know what's crazy is, like, my doctor told me, and I've heard that sarcoidosis is predominantly in black males. Very rarely. I mean, I had a doctor tell me I was the only white patient he'd ever had, which, you know, it feels like being the only white Guy to get sickle cell, which is kind of cool, but it's like not normally with, with white guys.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's very interesting that I, that I have that autoimmune disease. I'm not, it's not exclusive, but, you know, usually you're born with it more than getting it later.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So what's the treatment?

[A]

Well, I've prednisone. When I wasn't going to bring this up because it sounds. But when I got on prednisone, I've been on anti.

[B]

Inflammatory. Right.

[A]

It's. It's like the, it's like one of the strongest over the, you know, one of the strongest drugs you can be prescribed. I, I think it's. I might be a steroid as well. I can't.

[B]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

Yeah. So I took high dosage long term, which some doctors find to be a little bit controversial because it's such a hard drug on your body. Like when I took it for the first time two years ago, I gained 25 pounds. And my, my stomach just like that's what it blew up. Yeah. But it's like when you share that with people, it's like telling people you don't run because you don't like trees or something. It sounds like the biggest excuse in the world.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But the reason they worry about prednisone is not only does it make you run at a higher clip, like it. You very easily agitated and I don't need that. But it also causes severe weight gain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it did that for me. I had to get on it again like four months ago, and my doctor was just. I mean, there's other things that can work, but nothing quite works for me like prednisone does. And it's just horrific.

[B]

Is this like, is this something you're concerned that you'll die of?

[A]

No, not die of. No. I mean, it's gone after. I have. I've never talked about this on a podcast. I have uvitis from the sarcoidosis because when I first got it, I didn't know what it was. Autoimmune diseases wear a lot of disguises.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I went down this rabbit hole and I got on Google and I put in my symptoms and true story, it was like, you're in a lot of trouble. Like your left clavicle, lymph node right here is swollen 90% of the time. Unless you have some very unique lung disease, which I did. But 90% of the time that's a cancer or something in your body is Reacting in a bad way because it wouldn't go away.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Just right here. And so I spent about seven to eight months completely convinced I was dying. Yeah, I did. JFL in 2003. Murdered. Went to my hotel room and bawled my eyes out for like two hours. Because I thought, I can't believe that's the last performance that I'm ever going to do. Like that big of a performance. I could not believe that I was given a talent in this life. And it was all going to end so young. I. I felt death. To me. It was as real as it could get. I was walking around with my. My wife in the mall and I couldn't believe she was going to have another lover. I was deep. I was completely off the edge. And then I lost my vision. It was starting to fade in my right eye. I was in Calgary, Canada. And this left eye went. Went blurry. And so now I couldn't see. So I went to the emergency room because I had nowhere else to run

[B]

because that can be a stroke.

[A]

Yeah. Well, when I walked in and I still. Sometimes it might be right now I'll have one pupil larger than the other. And when people see it in videos and stuff, they just go crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're like, you're in trouble. You got one pupil larger because sometimes it'll really blow up. And it's from the. From the uvitis. So long, very long story short, I go to the emergency room, they panic when I come in, one pupil is larger than the other. I tell them my vision's completely gone. My wife said the nurses faces were horrific.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they run me emergency mri, they pump me full of all the, you know, the.

[B]

Looks like fun.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. The viewers couldn't see that it was a jack off motion, but I meant like fluids into my veins so they could run the mri.

[B]

Fluids in, not out.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. And it took five months of testing. I was at National Jewish in Denver. I got very lucky. Number one respiratory hospital in America. And they eventually got to the bottom of it that it was sarcoidosis.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Yeah. My right eye, I got a full cataract. I can't see. I got a surgery coming up to get it fixed. It's a prednisone cataract. If you get on prednisone too many times, you can get a cataract in your eye. So I can only see out of my left eye.

[B]

Seriously?

[A]

I am very serious.

[B]

See, that's the thing about a guy like you, you know, if you're A new comic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You see, you know, look at this guy. He's got it all going. He's selling out clubs, doing theaters.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Special married, baby. And then I realize that, like. Yeah, you're a mess.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what? I'm glad that gets brought to light, because all the time I'm on the road and I'm doing this and I'm, like, taking this medicine and I can't see out of my right eye and, like, all this other stuff, and it's like, I wish, you know, but when things are going this great, nobody wants to hear that side of it. Not even first.

[B]

I think it's important they do, because it's like, you know, we all know famous people. I mean, you're. You're very tight with Nate Brazzi.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And I mean, he doesn't talk about, I think, his issues, but, you know, you probably know, I don't know him that well. He probably has issues, you know, and

[A]

let's talk about him. I'll tell you everything wrong with Nate.

[B]

Nate. I played a golf tournament with Nate about six months ago, and he won it. He's like a three handicap in golf. He's like, phenomenal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So he wins this tournament, and it was out here in la, and he won a brand new golf bag that said Riviera Country Club.

[A]

Oh, my goodness, the nicest club. That's sick.

[B]

And so he's like. I go, congrats on the bag. He goes, thanks, man. I go, you got bags at home? He's like, yeah, I got a lot of it. I go, you gonna check that in the luggage and bring it home? He's like, you want the bag? So that's my new bag.

[A]

Oh, I love that. I didn't see that coming. You did that. You did it the right way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a lot of bags, don't you? That'd be tough on a plane. Yeah.

[B]

Do you golf?

[A]

Oh, I love golf. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Play with Nate.

[A]

I did. I just played with him a couple days in a row in Vegas. Yeah.

[B]

Crazy good.

[A]

Yeah, he's great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. We definitely don't share a cart, I can tell you that. I mean, he's not going to go look for my ball with me in the.

[B]

Oh, he's going right up the middle of the fair.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You need an atv?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I come back and I go, you wouldn't believe how many cardinals are in that tree over there.

[B]

And you come back and your cart is filled with lost balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

[A]

Are you a golfer?

[B]

Yeah, I just played yesterday.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Yeah, I love.

[A]

Isn't it such a fun game?

[B]

It's just. You know what it is, is nobody's phone is on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're with three good buddies, you're betting, you're busting each other's balls. You're in nature. I mean, even the, the golf is almost like. Yeah. And we golfed.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. No, you're so right. I. I feel the exact. I feel the exact same way. And there's also. With all the ball busting, there's also your buddy makes a great shot and you get this warm fuzzy feeling when you go. That's what I'm talking about, Chris.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's a good shot. Yeah, that, that stuff, that, that. I think that's. I think that's healthy. Yeah, I do. And also for me, I'm, I'm. I mean, I. I'm like a 16 handicap, so I'm.

[B]

That's not bad.

[A]

That's okay. Yeah. But I, I'm just bad enough in my mind at golf that I don't think any. About anything besides golf while I'm doing it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

There's very few things that I do in this life that. Well, comedy and golf. While I'm in that world, I. That's the only thing that's on my mind. And it's so refreshing because there's so many other times where no matter what I'm doing, I'm not present.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I'm. I'm present when I'm holding a seven iron.

[B]

It's also, it's also good because you're present in a way that I have adhd, and golf is kind of good for that because you get to space out, shoot the. And then when you get to your ball, people with ADHD are able to hyper focus for short periods of time.

[A]

That's exactly right.

[B]

Stand over that ball and like, I'm there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then once I hit it, I'm back to, you know, relaxed again.

[A]

Yeah. No, that's so true. That is the, the. The hyper fixated for a short amount of time is the realest thing ever because that happens on my phone. I mean, I can go down a rabbit hole quicker than anybody. People act like rabbit holes are a whole afternoon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Give me 15 minutes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll be back.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right? Yeah. Well, that's great. A couple things I want to ask you about. You hold on. Second page. Here we go. This is a thing we do. It's Called Fastballs with Fits.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

It's a segment. I mean, I've been doing this podcast a long time.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I was excited that you were going to have me on.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I. I'm not going to act like I'm an avid listener, but I know this thing's been around since podcasts weren't relevant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I think is so cool.

[B]

Well, I tried to keep that spirit going.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even though I've been doing.

[A]

I'm not a podcast guy and I don't have a podcast.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't listen to a lot of podcasts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I love to do them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I love.

[B]

You're good at them.

[A]

Conversate and hang out.

[B]

I mean, I had no idea how this would go. I don't. Honestly, I don't remember meeting you because it was a lot of years ago.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And you would only work together one night.

[A]

Yeah. And it was like a quick. I mean, I remember specifically asking for that show, and Friday and Saturday were already full, and so I took the only spot they had left on Thursday, and I was pumped.

[B]

Was I nice?

[A]

You were the nicest.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. And you killed. And after I got done, I went and sat in the back of the room and watched your entire set. That was the great thing about coming up at Comedy Works is the best of the best come through there.

[B]

Comedy Works in Denver is top two comedy clubs in the country. And I say top two because if I say best, then another club is going to text me, what the fuck? So I would say top two.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

But Wendy books great shows. The local. The local comics are unbelievable. And the room physically is perfect. It's pie shaped with rising seats in the back, no bar in the room, low ceilings, and the seats are bolted to the ground. Literally, everybody's facing you when they.

[A]

Absolutely. And there is not. You're hip to. Hip.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You're hip to. And that's the way it should be with that. I love how you described that. With. The only thing that I'll add to it. What's fun about that pie shape is I always tell people the only way out of that room is through them. And. And I love that because the way they've kind of got you backed into a corner.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it just feels like that this crowd walked you into this corner and now you. It's turned into a. It's such a unique setup in that way. But you're right. The sound in there. I mean, it's like firecrackers in a. In a metal barrel. I mean, it's loud.

[B]

It's loud. And the problem with that setup, too, is there's tables on either side of the stage that are practically on stage.

[A]

They are? Yeah. On the left side.

[B]

The left side especially.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the whole crowd is looking at those people. So I had this guy who was sitting next to the stage, and he was drunk. I mean, I described this to you when you were coming in. They're urban cowboys.

[A]

That's right. They are.

[B]

They're. They're. They're hip, urban people, but they also have that spirit of they still got the snaps on their shirts and the cowboy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so this guy was kind of challenging me on every joke, and then his girlfriend told him to shut the fuck up.

[A]

Nice lady grabbed her. Okay, we've got a real situation.

[B]

And now the guy behind him grabs him.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

And now the bouncers run up, but get. Extricating them from that is like getting the baby out of the well, you know? So it got dragged through the club, and I'm on stage.

[A]

They're basically on. People need to know they're on stage with you.

[B]

Stage.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah. And so I just narrated it like I was at a prize fight. I was Joe Rogan going like, well, he's got him in a left. Oh, he's got a pretty good chokehold going. And it went on for probably three full minutes before they were out.

[A]

Three full minutes is a lifetime in that situation.

[B]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

It is brutal.

[B]

You ever. You ever have somebody come at you on stage? Probably not with your size.

[A]

No, no. And kind of the way I talk. And I've had some people, you know, be a little rude, but not, you know, I'm not good at. I don't do any crowd work because my. I have an unfortunate tone. I just have a hard time engaging without it sounding like it's going to lead to me beating their ass.

[B]

I felt like that several times during this podcast. I mean, we were talking about Leonard Skynyrd and the Eagles.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I really thought you were going to come out of that fucking.

[A]

I know. I. The. The excitability is real. I. You know, it's there. It's boiling right underneath my skin.

[B]

I see it. You ever have road rage?

[A]

Not like I'm not. I would like to say I draw the line. I don't, but I can do it from the passenger seat. But I not like road rage where you're a psycho. I will. I'm Firing off things, like, verbally.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not gonna follow you down the street and try to get you out of your vehicle.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We got to draw the line there.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But, yeah, you can see me in your mirror, and I might be like, right, right. You know, something like that.

[B]

But you have a joke in your special about you wave a guy in and he doesn't. He doesn't. Thank you.

[A]

I feel like I should follow him home. Yeah. And I would like to hope that people know that that's a joke.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But, you know, I'm sure there's some people out there. They're like, no, it's my kind of man right there, man. Yeah. But I'm just, just, I'm. I'm just giving you an idea on kind of, you know, my temperament. But in a vehicle, it's not as much. It feels different in a vehicle. You would maybe get more out of me person to person if you were, like, very rude to me. You're, you're gonna. I'm gonna respond like, I'll go, hey, buddy, what's your problem? No, you're not gonna do that. We're not gonna do that. I am. I can be that.

[B]

You ever worked as a bouncer?

[A]

I ran a bar for six years. I was the general manager.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, but I, I, I doubled as a bouncer. You know, I would mix it up with the guys.

[B]

People out.

[A]

No, because I, I had. I, no, I never got hurt throwing people out. I, I, I'm pretty. I'm pretty scrappy. I don't, like, I would never. I would never fight today unless it was, like, you know, somebody, like, pushed my son's stroller over, you know, But. But I can.

[B]

How many of me do you think it would take to fight you?

[A]

That's a such a fun question. People are going to think I'm Godzilla after this. I'd say four to five. Yeah. Because the first version of you that comes up is going to be done with immediately.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So.

[B]

But, yeah, that's the Irish guy in the Civil War.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

They did. The Irish would come over here as immigrants.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they got into Ellis island, they put him in uniforms, they sent him to the Civil War.

[A]

I got a lot of Irish blood in me, too. I come from my mom's maiden name Sweeney.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Are you. Did you celebrate St. Patrick's Day?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I, I did, with a bunch of Irish quotes that my aunts and uncles and all sent me and stuff, but I didn't go out and, like, have a P or anything. Yeah, I wore green on stage, you know, tip of the cap.

[B]

So just racist quotes?

[A]

Yeah, no, no, like, racist quotes as well, but no, more like Irish riddles. Like, it's. You're lucky to be Irish. You're lucky enough. Like, fun things, you know, Fun things like that.

[B]

Right. Yeah, my aunt sends me some crazy. Yeah, because we're. We're like. I'm 99 Irish, Bronx Irish. All four grandparents.

[A]

That is. That is. My great grandparents are 100% Irish. Yeah, yeah, but that. That on my mom's side, my dad's side, we get a little Scottish over there, but.

[B]

Okay, well, you're great. Wait, are your grandparents from there, your great grandparents?

[A]

My great grandparents.

[B]

Because if they're your grandparents, you get Irish citizens.

[A]

No, no, it's my great grandparents.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

My. My mom, Papa Sweeney from Big Chimney, West Virginia.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, Big chimney. Yeah. There's a lot of Irish coal miners. Yeah, that was a very common job.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's the only time we ever got a tan and. But not.

[A]

He asked me to set him up on that joke, which felt weird.

[B]

But not the last time we've been in blackface. Where did you lose your virginity?

[A]

I. I was in college and I was. Man, this is tough. I think it was Jake Walker's bedroom, and that was my roommate. Yeah, my room was a mess. Really, so his room, he kept it very clean.

[B]

Did you pretend it was yours?

[A]

Yeah, I did. And he had, like, cool, like. Like a mounted mallard on the wall and, like, camouflage comforter. Really? Yeah. And I go, here it is. Here we go. Yeah. And mine had, like, pizza rolls in the middle of the bed. But, yeah, she did. She was none the wiser.

[B]

And you guys were both college students?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

Yeah, she. She went to a different school than I went to.

[B]

She.

[A]

She went to Auburn and I went to Jacksonville State.

[B]

Was this a relationship or kind of a one night stand?

[A]

It was after that.

[B]

It was a relationship after that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of. Yeah. I was a really good boy. Coming up, like, when I first got to college, I never had sex, I never cussed. And I wasn't raised by parents that necessarily pushed that on me. My dad owned a bar at one time. My parents are, you know, very social, not super religious people. You know, my. My. My mother's family very Catholic, so, you know, they'll. They'll go to church a few times a year, but nobody told me to not cuss or not drink. That was just kind of direction that I. That I chose. And I wanted to be a pastor at one point.

[B]

You did?

[A]

Yeah. And then I joined a fraternity, and it all just totally changed.

[B]

The opposite of a church.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, I saw God a few times, but not in the best setting. Yeah. But, yeah, that's. That was kind of, you know, my journey.

[B]

When's the last time you deeply apologized to somebody? Mm.

[A]

The last time I deeply apologized to somebody. Oh. Was a good friend of mine had sent me a couple encouraging text that I had not gotten back to. And he's just one of those friends that no matter how I am on my end, he's always consistent. He's always checking on me. And one day I was looking at my phone just a couple weeks ago, trying to catch up on everything, and I just. I had missed him two times in a row, just being encouraging and being a good friend. And I sent him an apology. Not like, oh, hey, what's up, man? Sorry I missed those. Just, like, I took that time to, like, let him know that I do appreciate that he does those things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that I don't. It's. I'm not responding because I don't care. And that, you know, I let him know that I knew that it was an excuse and I was going to do better, but I wanted him to let him know that I appreciated that friendship.

[B]

Nice. That's nice. Who's your best Asian friend?

[A]

My best Asian friend would be Holly Murdoch. She was my best friend in college. She's adopted. Filipino. She's one of the funniest people I ever met in my life. Yeah. I used to call her white trash in a brown bag. And. And she's just. She's just so witty and smart and funny. Never romantic.

[B]

Why?

[A]

You know, I. I don't know. I begged.

[B]

Oh, you did?

[A]

I'm just kidding. No, Lord, no, no. We just.

[B]

We just have Falling her trash in a brown bag.

[A]

No, no. She's, like, the funniest. Like, has the best sense of our sense of humors. I mean, would make love. I mean, that's how. That's how in sync we were, but we just weren't ever physically attracted in that way. We would. We would go out, get drunk, come home, sleep in the same bed, and. And this is a type of friendship that now she's. She's married and she has a family, and I. I don't get to see her but once every couple years. But I have a hard time articulating this relationship, even to my wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's like I could never describe Holly without describing her as just one of the greatest people on earth.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

Yeah. She's the best.

[B]

I love to ask that question because so few people have good Asian friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so it's just funny to watch them squirm. Oh, but you actually came right out of the gate with a good one.

[A]

Yeah. And a sincere one.

[B]

Everybody always goes, Bobby Lee. It's like, not everybody can say Bobby.

[A]

I'm gonna tell you, I. If I had to, I might have. I would have panicked and made one up. If I had to. This accent would have made me self conscious. I'd have gone, oh, there. Hey, Jim Tom. What are you doing out there, buddy? I'd have just made something up. But. But Holly, she's. She's the best.

[B]

All right. Have you ever not finished a set on stage?

[A]

Not finished a set? Like a paid club set?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, no, not. Not get paid. Yeah, yeah, I've. I've, you know, an open mics and stuff. I've. A couple times I've walked off just because. Just the room was ridiculous. And.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm just like. Well, don't even worry about it. But not a. Not a paid set building. What about you? You mind me asking questions?

[B]

No, no, that's fine. I mean, Fast Dogs with fastballs with fits is like. It's pretty set the way it's done.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

With me asking questions.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Well, I was trying to be polite.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I was trying to. After so many questions, I feel like I got to throw one back or it feels like I'm being selfish.

[B]

No, this is. It's about you. But I will tell you, I did a show. I opened. You ever heard of a band called they Might Be Be Giants? They were big back in the 90s.

[A]

Familiar.

[B]

Anyway, they were doing a show at Kent State University in Ohio, and I was booked to open for them. And it was an. It was like a. One of those parties in this quad where there's kegs everywhere and frats and sororities.

[A]

What year was this at Kent State?

[B]

Probably 97.

[A]

Okay. There's a certain year I was looking for. I didn't know what event this was.

[B]

You talking about the 1 in 71 at the.

[A]

I couldn't remember. I thought it was like an 88 or something.

[B]

Or something 71. It was the Vietnam War program.

[A]

Oh, that's right. That's right.

[B]

And so this guy throws an apple at Me and hits me in the chest. And I literally was mid. I was mid. Word. And I was like, have a great afternoon, everybody. And I just walked right on.

[A]

Good for you. An apple is insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

No.

[A]

Should have been a tomato.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, do it right. Do it. Respect. Are you kidding?

[A]

You should have picked.

[B]

Where are you.

[A]

Hey, buddy, you ever seen a cartoon?

[B]

This is. Is ludicrous. This is ripe. Yeah, Ripe. All right. Who was the worst opener you ever had?

[A]

It would be Richard Lockhart, Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Very nice gentleman, and he knows what I'm about to say. One time I had him do a set in Anniston, Alabama, and two nights before, I kid you not, a tornado ripped through that area. And he got up and. And did a joke about how tornado shelters are stupid. And, yeah, he walked about half the room. And when he got off stage, I go, hey, man. I go, you see all the trees outside leaning sideways? I go, these people here are recovering. Worst opening set I'd ever seen. The most unself aware. Yeah, we talk about it every time we see each other.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that's good. All right. You're good at fastballs with fits. You're fast.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

We'll close out with this. What is the hackiest bit you've ever done?

[A]

The hackiest bit that I have ever done. Goodness gracious. It's funny because you. I don't come up with one and you're like, yeah, Most hacky people don't know what's going on.

[B]

I have a list of six from your special.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm trying to. The most hacky bit.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

I don't. I. It would be so early to me. I would like to think that I'm having a hard time. Remember it for the fastball session. This is for sure a slider.

[B]

This is an off speed pitch.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm trying to.

[B]

You're stepping out of the box to adjust the velvet.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I got nothing, coach.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I got nothing. I'm sure as soon as I leave here, I'll have 11, but off the top of my head, and also I have a memory of a goldfish. Me and Nate Bargettzi share this. I only live in the set that I'm in, the hour I'm in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a very hard time.

[B]

I hear you.

[A]

Playing the classics or remembering an old bit? You know, I'm jealous of guys like Jim Gaffigan. Those other guys, they can just. They have a Rolodex in their head of all the bits they've ever done.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Once I send that. That album or that special, enjoy it, because I don't know how to say it again.

[B]

Right, right. Sometimes even it'll come up, up. Like I'll be talking to somebody in the crowd and they'll go, oh, yeah, I'm from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. And then I'll go, oh, well, you know when you get law and I have a bit and I get halfway through it and then I go, no fucking idea.

[A]

How terrifying is that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Because you're almost like, I wish I would have never even started it. But now I act like I'm going into it and I can't remember the rest. I've been there.

[B]

I feel like I'm in the middle of the road and traffic is coming from both directions, and I don't know how I got there.

[A]

That's. You're in the turn lane in the middle. Yeah, that's a great description.

[B]

All right, so we're gonna tell people, look, this special nostalgic is very funny. Very solid. I mean, just joke, joke, joke. Joe, thank you. Really well done, man.

[A]

Means a lot coming from you. Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, of course. It just came out on. On Netflix. And then also, I mean, you have to go to Derek Stroop, the website. It's D, E, R, R, I, C, K, S, T, R, O, U, P, E and no E. No, there's an E. No, no.

[A]

Well, there shouldn't be.

[B]

No, it's right here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I believe it. But that is not how you spell my name.

[B]

Well, then these are not your tour dates.

[A]

That's how you would spell Dave Stroop's last name. That's the guy that owns most of the funny bones. I'm S, T, R, O U, P. No E. Okay. Yep.

[B]

Coming up in Phoenix, Cleveland, Philly, Grand Rapids. Right back here in Los Angeles.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

Hills. Lexington, Kentucky. One of my favorite clubs, Comedy Off Broadway.

[A]

Thank you for saying that. I love that club, too.

[B]

Love it. Love that town. Atlanta, Omaha, and just on and on throughout the year. Dude, what a pleasure.

[A]

Hey, thanks for having me, man. What a delight. Thank you, buddy.

[B]

Hope to see you at the Comedy Cellar in New York City.

[A]

Absolutely. I'd love that.

[B]

All right. This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in with a full lineup of non alcoholic beer styles. You can enjoy bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out

[A]

for water in the second half.

[B]

Stock the fridge for tip off with a variety of non alcoholic craft styles. Available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com near Beer Fit for all times.