Greg Warren - Episode 1101

Summary

Fitzdog Radio – Episode 1101: Greg Warren

Host: Greg Fitzsimmons
Guest: Greg Warren
Release Date: June 25, 2025

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1. Introduction

In Episode 1101 of Fitzdog Radio, host Greg Fitzsimmons welcomes comedian Greg Warren for an engaging and heartfelt conversation. The episode delves deep into personal experiences, comedy philosophies, mental health, and the dynamics of friendships within the stand-up community.

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2. Personal Story: A Challenging Week

Greg Fitzsimmons opens up about a tumultuous week, sharing a personal and emotional story about his daughter’s sudden illness.

"I think you're on mute." ([00:01])

Shortly after joking about technical difficulties, Greg recounts how his daughter unexpectedly fell ill at 4 a.m., leading to a frantic rush to urgent care and eventually the emergency room.

"She can’t even talk, she’s in so much pain." ([00:10])

The ordeal highlights the vulnerabilities of parenthood and the unexpected challenges life throws our way.

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3. Navigating Healthcare and Financial Stress

Greg discusses the complexities and frustrations of dealing with healthcare systems, especially when faced with high deductibles and out-of-network services.

"I called the lady. Yeah, UCLA. No, that's not in network. ... this has gotta be a fucking $20,000 surgery." ([05:00])

This segment sheds light on the financial strains that medical emergencies can impose, adding another layer of stress to already dire situations.

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4. Comedy Career Insights: Clean vs. Edgy

The conversation shifts to the realm of comedy, where both Gregs explore the differences between clean and edgy humor. Greg Warren expresses his preference for clean comedy, emphasizing authenticity over pretense.

"He's not a bad guy, but it was like, you know, I don't like when they think they own the show." ([35:00])

They discuss the balance comedians must strike between pushing boundaries and maintaining relatability with their audiences.

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5. Writing and Performing Stand-Up: Discipline and Depth

Greg Warren shares his disciplined approach to crafting comedy, highlighting the importance of deep dives into specific topics to unearth unique perspectives.

"I either gotta write about stuff that nobody's writing about, like myself, or then that sort of morphed and I just needed to go deep, deep with like 20 jokes about that thing." ([47:55])

This dedication to refining material underscores the effort required behind the scenes in stand-up comedy.

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6. Mental Health: Greg’s Battle with OCD

A profound segment of the episode revolves around Greg Fitzsimmons’s personal struggle with scrupulosity OCD. He candidly shares his journey from childhood compulsions to seeking therapy as an adult.

"She was like, this is a thing. And she goes, you know, I want you to go see a therapist." ([44:00])

Greg details the therapeutic techniques that have aided him in managing his condition, emphasizing the importance of recognition and professional help.

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7. Friendships in Comedy: Support Systems

Both Gregs reflect on the significance of friendships within the comedy circuit. Greg Warren talks about his close relationships with fellow comedians, such as Nate Bargazi and Tom Cotter, highlighting how these bonds provide both personal and professional support.

"He's so funny, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." ([65:09])

These connections not only foster camaraderie but also serve as crucial support networks in the often-demanding world of stand-up.

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8. Anecdotes and Memorable Moments

The episode is peppered with humorous anecdotes and memorable moments, including stories about tough opening acts and unconventional comedy bits.

"What the fuck is that?" ([73:41])

Greg Fitzsimmons recounts a near-fistfight incident on stage, illustrating the unpredictable nature of live performances and the importance of maintaining composure.

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9. Podcast and Additional Projects

Greg Warren introduces his own podcast, The Consumers, where he and co-host Sean O'Brien take deep dives into various brands, exploring their cultural and comedic impacts.

"We pick a brand, and we do, like, a deep dive every week on the brand." ([65:25])

This project showcases Greg Warren’s versatility and keen interest in blending comedy with observational analysis.

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10. Conclusion and Show Promotions

As the episode draws to a close, both Gregs promote their upcoming shows and projects, inviting listeners to engage further with their work.

"Go to fitzdog.com, get some ti. Why am I yelling at you? Get some tickets. Come out and watch a show." ([16:00])

They also touch upon the challenges and rewards of maintaining a long-term career in comedy, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect.

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Notable Quotes

• "Man makes plans and then God laughs." – Greg Fitzsimmons ([03:00])
• "You cannot be held accountable for what's in your head." – Greg Fitzsimmons ([57:31])
• "You have to be fearless because a lot of us feel like there's a piece of ore and you chip away and you find the gem." – Greg Warren ([49:26])

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Final Thoughts

Episode 1101 of Fitzdog Radio offers a rich tapestry of personal anecdotes, professional insights, and heartfelt discussions. Greg Fitzsimmons and Greg Warren create an authentic and engaging dialogue that not only entertains but also provides valuable perspectives on life, comedy, and mental health. Whether you're a fan of stand-up or simply enjoy deep, meaningful conversations, this episode is a must-listen.

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Connect with Greg Fitzsimmons: fitzdog.com
Connect with Greg Warren: Greg Warren Comedy
Listen to Episode 1101: Available on Fitzdog Radio YouTube

Transcript

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I think you're on mute.

[Greg Warren]

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[Greg Fitzsimmons]

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[Greg Warren]

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[Greg Fitzsimmons]

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[Greg Warren]

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[Greg Fitzsimmons]

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[Greg Warren]

And up to 50% off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline. Go to your happy price. Priceline. Hi, welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. I'm your host, Greg Fitzsimmons. I'm wearing an orange hat. If you're not watching the show on YouTube, just know I have on a green beat up sweatshirt, an orange hat. I just shaved for the podcast. Who's watching? I don't know who watches, by the way, if you're. If you enjoy the show, spread the word, tell your friends, check out the show on YouTube, leave a comment. That always helps us with the algorithm. And that's all, that's all. Just trying to keep the show growing. I had a crazy week, you know, what do they say? Man makes plans and then God laughs. So I had so much shit to do on Thursday and Friday. And then on Thursday morning, It was like 4 o' clock in the morning and somebody came in the house and I was like, what the fuck? And Aaron shot up and I grabbed. I have this knife that I keep in my end table. So I got the knife and I came out. I come around the corner and I see a figure. It's my daughter. My daughter lives in the back house and she never comes in the front. You know, she comes up during the day, hangs out, has some tea, eats her food. Anyway, she's not usually in the house at 4am so I'm like, what the fuck? And she's like doubled over holding her stomach. And I'm like, shit. And she's like, she can't even talk, she's in so much pain. So she sits down, I get her some water. She takes a. She had taken a. Whatever you take for your stomach and like, threw it up instantly. And we gave her something else, Threw it up instantly. So we kind of just sat with her, sat for a couple hours. And then urgent care opened up. So we went to Venice Urgent care, which you know, can be good in a pinch. You know, you don't want to go straight to the hospital or the doc. Doctors aren't open yet. So you go to urgent care and you walk in and it's like it. Just give it a fucking makeover. What's it gonna cost to not take some like yellowish white high gloss paint on the walls and, and black and white tiles and that? You check in and there's bulletproof glass where you check in. So. Okay, so I guess you got. You guys are good back there because I, I'm out here. There's no guard and there is this obese guy and he's, you know, talking, he's yelling at his ex wife, like yelling crazy you fucking bit. Blah, blah, blah. But I feel bad for her, but she's not there. There's no one there. He's yelling at no one. And it's very specific. There's. There is. Napoleon is involved. I don't know how Napoleon worked into his marriage. Some space people. There was. There's some people telling him stuff. Uh, and it was, you know, and I don't know. Look, I don't know why she left him. I have no idea. It could be his drinking. I think he might have a little bit of an issue with drinking. He was pretty buzzed for, for 7am he had a pretty healthy buzz working and. But the good news is he got, he got all of his winter coats out of the house before she threw him out. And I know because he was wearing all of them. Like four, like four winter coats and, and some Yeezys he's got on fucking new Yeezys. And I just thought, how funny is that? Like, the Salvation army must get flooded with probably Jewish people that bought Yeezys back in the day. And they had them in, they had them in shoebox. They never even wore them because they were gonna collect them and sell them later. I don't know what you do with Yeezys. I just know that they, they were like 400 bucks a couple years ago. And now there's a crazy homeless guy wearing them. And I just thought, it's kind of ironic that the shoes that Kanye makes are only worn by crazy people now. And they get them. I think they're like his army. Um, so anyway, so she goes in Urgent care. They check her out, they poke her stomach. They're like, it's her appendix. You gotta go to the emergency room, because if it bursts, it's bad. Her blood count was white. Blood count was very high. So rushed her to the er. We went to UCLA Medical center, shout out to ucla. Best hospital in Los Angeles. Took amazing care of us. We checked in. They did a CAT scan or a C scan, I don't know what they call it. They scanned her, and meanwhile, this is like, she just started a job the day before, and she's supposed to be. Her first week is training, and. And it's a really good job, and she's excited about it. And then she's got a call in on her second day and tell them that she can't come into work. So. But she's like, I'm glad I'm getting my appendix out, because, you know, if it was just gas, it would be a little awkward at work on the second day. So, anyway, so, yeah, she's getting her appendix out. Which. Look, as a dad, you'd almost always rather have a guy taking an organ out of your daughter than putting one in. And I know I shouldn't say that, but it crossed my mind, and I have to say it out loud. So everyone's in scrubs, which is always weird. You go to the hospital and everyone's got the same green scrubs. They look shitty, and you can't tell who's who. It doesn't matter if you. You could be the chief of neurosurgery or you could be like the. The orderly guy that takes the dead bodies out on the gurney, that wheels them out. Same. Same outfit. No fucking stripes on your shoulder or stars or metals. You're just the same guy. Like, I think they should. Like, a surgeon should have, you know, some medals. Maybe he should have, like, a heart for every successful surgery he's performed. And then the guy who brings out the dead bodies. Maybe that guy should be dressed as the Grim Reaper. Just the full hood and the sith in his hand. You know, the pole with the sith on it. And there should be, like, a Chinese guy with a gong walking behind him. Gong. Gong. Just a thought. So she gets. She gets the surgery. She go, we were there all day. I mean, it doesn't matter how good the hospital is, it's gonna be all day because they got to keep running tests and. But we end up with the guy who's the chief of surgery for the hospital, which, you know, I didn't pull any strings. That's just who we got. And I'm sure this was, this, this is a fucking no brainer for this guy. He's used to like, you know, doing transplants and shit. Now he's got to pull out a. And they just make like three or four holes. There's no, there's no big, it's, it's pretty simple. Operation takes like 45 minutes and so she gets it and then she's laying in the recovery room and she's, you know, out. She's out. She's been drugged up and she's laying there and I think it had been, you know, at this point, it had been 15 hours of me being with her and sitting by her side and dealing with all, everything and the stress just hit and I'm looking at her face and it's so peaceful and so beautiful. And I felt so in love with my daughter. I felt like so grateful that the operation went well. But I mean, I was just seeing her as a baby, as a toddler, like seeing her in these pink pajama, these onesie thing that she wore for like two years straight and Halloween, I was just seeing her life and I went so deep into was kind of beautiful. And then she came out and then I go outside and I call Blue Shield, which is my coverage to find. You know, I'm a little panicked because it's shitty coverage and I'm kind of curious, like, you know, you're supposed to check in with your insurance. And so I called the lady. Yeah, ucla. No, that's not in network. I said, well, what does that mean? She goes, well, if it's out of network, there's a $7,000 deductible. And then you owe 50% of everything on top of that. And this has gotta be a fucking $20,000 surgery. So I'm like, wait, are you sure? And she's checking again and again, this fucking moron. And I'm freaking out. So finally I hang up because she's like coming out of it now and the doctor's there. So I hang up and, and, and the doctor's like, well, you can, you know, you can go home at this point. It's like, you know, nine o' clock at night. And he's like, you're fine, you know, go to the pharmacy, pick up your painkillers. You can go home. He goes, you could stay the night. And she's like, yeah, I think I want to stay the night. I'm like, nah, I don't think. I don't think we need a $10,000 night in the hospital. If we can get you home, I'll fucking carry you. How about this? We go home tonight, and I will give you a room at the Four Seasons on a date that you pick later. How about that? I'll spend the 400 bucks. So, yeah, so we left, and we. We came home, and it was. It was really nice. Like, everybody was calling her the next day. My mom, my brother, my sister, and her cousins. And then. And then my favorite is my wife's mom. Who is this? She's a riot. She grew up in the Bronx, has lived in the Upper west side of Manhattan for her whole life. Thickest accent and just full of opinions. And she calls up Jojo, and Jojo's got her own speakerphone because we just all cover our mouths and laugh so hard. She's like. She's like. She's obsessed with the royal family in Spain for some reason, and she's like, I mean, I'm glad you're feeling better, but, you know, the Queen of Spain, she's got plantar fasciitis in her foot because she's wearing the stilettos. Why is she wearing stiletto? It's ridiculous. And then. And then Israel and Iran are bombing each other. But the shoes, it doesn't make any sense. Yeah. So that cheered up Jojo. And then we just watched a lot of movies. We watched Paddington 2, which I know you're saying, greg, that's a child's movie. It's one of those kids movies that just transcends. It's got an insane cast. Hugh Grant is in it, and that guy from Banshees of Inisher and the older Irish guy. Like, just a killer cast of people. And it's just incredible. It's funny. You laugh. And then at the end, I'm laying on the couch with Jojo, and then I'm on one end and she's on the other, and I see her shoulders are going up and down. At the end, she's. She's sobbing, and then she just picks her head up and looks at me, and she sees the tears coming down my face, and we just start laughing for, like, five minutes, we're just laughing at ourselves, crying to Paddington, too. But watch it, I'm telling you. And then I Showed her, I'm trying to get the kids to watch Woody Allen, and every time I do, they love it. So we watched Love and Death, which is absolutely one of my favorites, and she completely appreciated it, laughed a lot. We talked about Russian literature afterwards and philosophy. It's a. It's a great movie. Anyway, so it was good. But you know what's fucking weird is we're watching Woody Allen and then I'm looking at my Instagram feed, and all of a sudden I get a clip of Woody Allen. I've never gotten a clip of Woody Allen on my Instagram feed in my life. And now, literally a half an hour after watching the movie, I've got, what the fuck is that? And then I'm interviewing Larry Charles, who, if you don't know him, he was one of the creators of Seinfeld. I don't know if he's a creator, but he. He ran Seinfeld Curb youb Enthusiasm. He directs and produces it. He produced the Borat movies. I think he directed them as well. Brilliant. One of the great comedic writer directors of our time. Anyway, I'm reading his book because I'm going to interview him, and I want to read the book first. So I get. And I'm reading a chapter, and it's about how he started out on this show called Fridays, which Kramer was on. Whatever, Kramer's. Who's the actor? Who's Kramer? Whatever. And Andy Kaufman comes on an episode and he breaks up a sketch in the middle of it. Like, breaks the fourth wall, and there's chaos. Anyway, I'm reading that on my phone. That scene comes up a day after I'm reading it in the book. And I told somebody about the scene. I mean, it's fucking nuts, man. What's going on here? Oh, I don't even know. Anyway, all right, let's get to it. We got some dates coming up. I was supposed to be in Torrance at a place called the End on Sunday, but that is postponed. I'll let you know the new date. Austin, Texas, at the mothership, July 4th through the 6th. Pottstown, Pennsylvania. Soul Joel's July 31st, Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Uncle Vinny's August 1st and 2nd. I will be in La Jolla at the Comedy Store, August 29th through the 31st. Then in September, I'll be in Denver and Connecticut. October in Vegas and Chicago and New Orleans and San francisco. Go to fitzdog.com, get some ti. Why am I yelling at you? Get some tickets. Come out and watch a show. Enjoy my new Hour, which is a. I'm really proud of. I'm also proud of my guest today. This is a guy who, like myself, is a road warrior. For decades he's been pounding it out. Just a hilarious comic.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He.

[Greg Warren]

He's clean, which I don't like. I don't like clean comedians because they make me feel dirty. But he's kind of one of these clean comics who just is that way. He's not. I don't like clean comics who try to be clean even though then you talk to them off stage and they're fucking perverts. He's just a good guy. His last special got like 3 million views on YouTube. He's buddies with Nate Bragazzi. Nate produce this special that he's got out now. That's. I forget what it's called. I'll figure it out. Went to West Point. All American Wrestler Seth Meyers. Late, Late Show. Comedy Central presents Bert Chryscher podcast. Adam Corolla, Any last comic standing? Anyway, you've. You probably know if you don't, you got to check out his special. It's really great. It's on, It's. It's on. Nate Bragazzi's called Nateland on YouTube. That's the channel. And the special's out now. Please welcome my guest, Greg Warren.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Foreign.

[Greg Warren]

Warren. I mean, what else do you need to say?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's it, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. You think I need anything? I always feel a need to explain myself more. My name doesn't care that much. I don't know.

[Greg Warren]

No, Warren is very sort of non racial. I don't know if it's German, if it's any English, if it's.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I think, I mean, they were that side of the family. My dad's side of the family were, were Jews from Long Island. I think it may be some English, some Eastern European.

[Greg Warren]

Got it. I'm guessing you didn't do the ancestor DNA test.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, no, man.

[Greg Warren]

Why get on the grid now? They got your DNA because one of them just, I think 23andMe just went out of business. And they sold everybody's info. 20 million people's info.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Like a target? An ad targeting. Not only that. No. Oh, no, Medical. Medical. So now they know if you've got markers for cancer.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

They can decide whether or not to cover you based on you spitting into a tube to find out if you were German.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, the German, the, those commercials, the early ones were, you know, I, I thought I was Norwegian. It turns out I'm Chinese. I'm like, well, I could have told you, man. You're Chinese. Yeah, I, I, I found out I was German. Now I gotta wear these later. Hosen. You don't, man. You don't.

[Greg Warren]

I, yeah, I found out that I'm Irish and I realized I'm not drinking enough. I need to fill out the. You know, the best is when you fight. When a guy finds out that he's part black, which I think a lot more people.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Sure. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And they realize, well, I've got to stop being racist now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. You know, you think, you think they. I don't know. I think maybe they don't. I think maybe they, they, they're so conflicted in me. It's like when a guy's gay and is he is overly hard on, on gay people. Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I would, I would bet that's most homophobes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Or the. I just feel like it must be really disappointing to some guy who's, you know, like the guy who's just a little bit, or thinks he's really Irish or Scottish or German and just his personality leans way, way into that. It's like, well, you know, I'm from the old. And then they. You're not actually. And it's like, well, that must be a horrible moment.

[Greg Warren]

Well, my, my brother in law, he's like part Filipino.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I can't do this podcast.

[Greg Warren]

I didn't say. Is this your rider?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, cuz you spell Filipino wrong. Yeah, he wrote PH.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, it's fi, right?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it's fi. So anyway, he gets, he's a construction worker, so he gets dark brown in the summer. And so his daughter was asking him. Martin Luther King Day was coming up. She goes, ice. We get that off. Right. Because. Because you're black. He's not black at all.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Warren]

And then she would make, she'd use the black crayon when she was in preschool to make the picture.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Well, listen, you've been on this podcast before, but it was over the phone, I don't think.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I don't think I have.

[Greg Warren]

I thought you called in a story one time.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Nah, there's guys doing me to try to get on podcast.

[Greg Warren]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. That wasn't me, man.

[Greg Warren]

No kidding.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I'm trying to remember if we've even met before.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

We met. I met you one time in New York. I, I think just like a brief. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just doing a show together or something.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And you know, I've seen, seen you for a long time. Well, yeah, when I was, I think I Started in Houston. And you. I think you're one of the first guys maybe to come through the last time. Yeah, yeah. Back when they were like, all right, we're gonna start booking these new guys, like, you know.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was probably about 97.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And Mark Babbitt was there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Babbitt was there. I was, I was, I, I was a comedian, sort of. I was. I was selling peanut butter and potato chips in, in to grocery stores in Houston.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Pringles, Jif Dunk. I'm name brand dropping, but I just.

[Greg Warren]

Wonder if you would eat those two things together.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Pringles and Jif.

[Greg Warren]

It feels like you'd need a lot of water.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I mean, it's not. Pringles is. It's a great product for a lot of reasons, but it's not a dippable chip.

[Greg Warren]

No.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Into peanut butter. It's not, it's, it's not going to stand up to the gif.

[Greg Warren]

Right, right, right. It's. It's more of like a. It's a novelty because it's ultimately not a great chip to taste wise. It's.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Listen, I was joking about the Filipino thing, but you can't, you can't. I gave my. I gave 10 years of my life to this brand loyalty. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I mean, it's a fantastic chip.

[Greg Warren]

How much would you eat it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

A lot. When I was. I got a job in the, the, the. I got promoted. I'm not bragging, but over years I got promoted and went to the, the headquarters in Cincinnati and, And at that point you could just walk down to the brand, the marketing guys, and get whatever you wanted.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I was probably eating a can a day at that point.

[Greg Warren]

No way.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I was in my probably early 30s.

[Greg Warren]

And yeah, I was doing a belly from that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I was. I would work, work out hard. I don't think I look good, but I would work out how hard enough to get rid of some of it. The thing that got me probably the beginnings of a belly was Jif was testing this thing called Jif Sensations. And it was, it was. Yeah, I know. It didn't, it didn't go, but it was a chocolate gif, a raspberry jif, and I think a cinnamon jif. And I don't know why, I don't know why it didn't go. Because it was the greatest thing I've ever eaten in my life. And I, it wasn't my project. But Mike, Mike Zittle right next door, the other project manager. Yeah, yeah. Z Man. I'd be like, z man, can I have some? And he just give me a. A can of chocolate chip. And it is fantastic. Now, Jif. It was Proctor and Gamble that I work for. They don't. They don't own Jif anymore. They spun it off. But Smuckers, who owns it, they brought back the. They have a chocolate Jif now.

[Greg Warren]

Now, what about when they mix Jif with a jelly in the jar?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't think that was Jif. That was. That was peanut butter.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, I thought it was Jiff.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I did, like, a. A few years ago, I did a special where I talked a lot about. Of peanut butter, and I would always get these people be like, what about the peanut butter and jelly? I'd be like, there's this guy, Brian Regan, he did a bit on it. And I. There's really nothing for me to say on that. Like, I. I covered everything that I could about peanut butter, but I was like, I just can't.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

This guy has the best bit on peanut butter and jelly, and I just can't do it, you know?

[Greg Warren]

Wow. That's tough.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Because that's your thing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, man. I mean, I feel like I maybe could have done it, but I. He beat me to it.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And he's fantastic. You know, he's awesome.

[Greg Warren]

That is tough when you come up with a bit, or you. I guess you didn't even have the bit. You just knew not to write the bit.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I just knew not. Yeah. As you're going through everything to do with peanut butter. Yeah. I'm like, yeah. That's the one place where it's like.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You're not gonna.

[Greg Warren]

I know. I had. I had, like, 30 minutes on hot Pockets. I had no idea.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Is that right?

[Greg Warren]

No.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. There's a guy that. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, if you want to mark a point in someone's career where they took off. Like, I started with Gaffigan.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Did you work? Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And he talked about. Like, he was edgy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Was he really?

[Greg Warren]

Oh, my God. Gaffigan was dark. He was like. He was like the guy that all the comics stood in the back and watched because you didn't know what he was going to say.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And we used to do crazy shit. Like, I was on stage, and he would go, and he would start collecting glasses off the tables, and then I would go. I would go, what are you doing? We're. We're doing a show. And he. And he would go, and he would just make weird noises, and he'd keep collecting glasses. Like, he was the Busboy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, no, he was crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Very experimental.

[Greg Warren]

He did that Hot Pocket bit and it. And this is pre Internet. Yeah, Hot Pocket was pre Internet.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Was it?

[Greg Warren]

Well, it was pre, like, you know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Pre memes clip world.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, it was pre clip.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And it blasted off and he kind of went like. Light bulb went off.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And he just kind of laid into food the way you lay into stuff. Like. Like. I watched your special, the Champ.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Greg Warren]

Dude, it's so good.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Thanks, buddy.

[Greg Warren]

It's just so. I mean, it's. There's not a dip in that whole special.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, there were a few. We took them out, but.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, you did? Yeah, I noticed it was a. I noticed a couple hard cuts. Yeah, there are a couple hard cuts.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There was one. I don't know what I was thinking, man. There was this one bit towards the end and I was talking about how I went to this corporate gig. I did a gig for these farmers and they sent this old guy to pick me out, pick me up and take me to the gig. I was supposed to meet him at Hardee's. Yeah, I know. I'm not making myself.

[Greg Warren]

That's a really high end gig.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I'm not making myself sound very good here, am I? But listen, I've done. I've done gigs where I met him at like Red Lobster, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So okay, back off.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, but. But I. So they send this old guy to pick me up and he. And he goes, hey, how you doing? And he shakes my hand. He does that thing where he, like, he comes in shallow and he purposely squeezes my fingers and hurts. Hurts my fingers. And so I had a bit about it and I was like. I was calling somebody up from the stage to demonstrate, like, that way. Yeah. And I was just. I would just. That's. It was fun for me to do. And I was like, well, I'll just do that in the special. And I asked some people, hey. And they were like, yeah, yeah, that'll be great. You know? And then my buddy, like the night before is like, hey, man, it's not that good. Like.

[Greg Warren]

Like you need your friends to be honest with you.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, you do. And my buddy's like, it's not. He's like, if you're gonna bring somebody on stage, it should probably be something huge. And it goes. It's not. It's just a nice thing.

[Greg Warren]

Right. And so I did it towards the end.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And I did it.

[Greg Warren]

Supposed to be building.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I did it. And I was like, he's. He's. Right, man. It's not. So we just cut the whole thing.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I noticed that your special was like 52 minutes. And I was like, something's missing here.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, man.

[Greg Warren]

My special, I think, was 56 minutes or 56. Yeah, I. I cut something. Well, basically the first. I showed it to David Tell, and he's like, dude, you don't get going until five minutes in. He goes, chop. The whole beginning.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And I looked at it and I was like, holy, he's right. Yeah, they were good jokes, but I was nervous and they just weren't landing. And then all of a sudden, I got like, a couple big laughs, and I. It just let me breathe. And so my special doesn't start with me walking on stage, just talking.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I like that the best. Yeah, I like that. So there's a couple things there, man. I. I would never send my special to Dave Attel, because I. I'm like, what am I gonna. I'm gonna send my special to a genius? Well, a lot of this stuff isn't a genius. Like, I would just not do it, Greg.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, but you probably. Since it's Nate Bargazi.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, I. Nate was heavily involved in the last one. He produced this one. Yeah, he's so off in the stratosphere now doing stuff. He definitely, you know, had some input. But, yeah, he was the guy on the last special, the peanut butter one. He gave me, like three notes and they were all such. And one of them was, don't walk up to the stage. Just. I really like your first joke. Just start with that. Yeah. And then I think I want. I mean, he's like, this title. He. I wanted to call it, like, Peanut Butter Boy or something stupid, and he's like, no, no, we're not doing that.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then. Yeah. So he. He had really, really good in input. But, yeah, David Tell. You know, I don't know, it's funny because I, you know, I work clean now. I didn't always, but for the last 10 years. And I. Somebody will come up to you and be like, you know, I think what you do is, you know, it's. It's. It's easier or it's harder than what those guys. That. And I'm like, go watch this guy David Tell if you think that's easy. Yeah, like, he's a genius. Like, you can't. Well, he's a genius, man.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I mean, it's just. It's so crazy to try to make a distinction as good or bad or better. I mean, it's like art. You know, we're all doing a different genre and sub genre, and we're trying to find our own voice and what makes us feel good and, you know, what happens with you is that I think the audience gets so comfortable because you're. You're. Your ratio of hits is so high that they start to just roll the laughs over because they trust the next one will be good. As opposed to, like an edgy comic.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Where you don't know what's coming next. And you. And you know they're going to take you to the edge. Like, I just worked with Louis CK this weekend, and he said some. That was like child. Child molestation stuff. And you go like, whoa, how is it going to pull out of this one?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And the audience is like this. So it's a very. It's a very different experience.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I always think I. And I don't know is a point of insecure. I always like. Like to have that sort of, oh, here's the chunk of material. We just sort of get going and there's. There's momentum. And I. But I enjoy watching this stuff where it's this guy. It's like, I'm going to say this thing.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And you're not going to go where it's going to. I'm going to just stare into the camera and pause. And, you know, I really like watching some of that.

[Greg Warren]

I like that there is like a camp of comics now that are just trying to say. Say certain words and. And then standing there defiantly like, oh, you. You're not cool enough to think that it's funny.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And it's like, no, you're not doing the work. The jokes aren't there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, there. There is.

[Greg Warren]

And you drill down. I mean, you go into a topic, like the whole thing about Walgreens. And by the way, just so you know, I have Walgreens jokes, too.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah? Yeah, man. Do you? Yeah, yeah, that's fine, buddy. I think there's a lot of people. There's a lot of Walgreens out there, man.

[Greg Warren]

Mine are about erectile dysfunction and things we don't talk about.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

But like, I talk about how when you're online, you gotta yell out your phone number, you know, and this guy has erectile dysfunction. So I start texting him, how's your dick? Isn't that weird how they make you say your phone number?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I never thought about the. Just call him up. Hey, man.

[Greg Warren]

He's like, who is this? And I'm like, walgreens Pharmacist Just following up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's great, man.

[Greg Warren]

Take it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, get on the road.

[Greg Warren]

I've been doing yours since I saw you. Special.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Take it, man. That needs to go away.

[Greg Warren]

When we started, because I started out in Boston with just a lot of killers.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I heard you. I was listening to an episode you were talking about. You and Meanie were friends.

[Greg Warren]

Mean. He was. He was the class above us, but he was one of my best friends. He was like more of a mentor to me.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

But then I started with Rogan and Burr and Patrice and David Cross and Mark Marin and. And all these guys and a bunch of us. Tom Cotter, you know?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I love Cotter, man.

[Greg Warren]

Was like my best friend.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That guy is great, man.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, he's great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And we all had me, him, and Rogue and a couple other guys. There was a pool of jokes, and if you were doing Woburn, Mass, on a Tuesday night at the Chinese restaurant, dude, all those jokes were in your arsenal.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really, man.

[Greg Warren]

It was like a guy in the back of the room screaming, hey, I, your mother. Hey, I, your mother. And you're like, dad, shut up. Like, we all did that. Like, it's on our first year.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So this was. Oh, that was the joke there. You didn't.

[Greg Warren]

That was the whole joke.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You didn't want a person. No, no.

[Greg Warren]

We would just say, I had a show last night. It's pretty rough. There's a guy in the back screaming, hey, I, you. And, you know, all the guy shows in. Up late. Hey, sir. Little late. Can I get you something? Like a watch?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, man. God, I did that. I think I did it. I did that. There's stuff I'm not proud of, like, early. Early on, where I was in over my head and, you know, it's like everybody thinks. And I was like. I did. I remembered seeing Tom Rhodes doing that bit.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I did the watch thing. Somebody showed up late, and. And on the back, I was like, you just did Tom Rhodes.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, but it's not Tom.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, exactly. It's probably more, you know, every comic.

[Greg Warren]

In their first year. No, I think it's like. It's like training wheels. You know, you just learn how to be on stage and get your confidence, and then hopefully, over time. You're always challenging yourself. I think you know how many years you've been doing it now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's. I started in college in the. In the late 80s. I was in college, and I did it a couple times, but I didn't quit my day job until I did.

[Greg Warren]

I did a Couple times in college.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then later, yeah, they got me in, like, a contest that I signed up for. And right. In and out of college, I did it, but not much. And then I took the job and I was like, you know, I. I wish I could say, like, I knew, but I would, like, do it for a while, and then I'd have a terrible set, and I'd be like, I'm making a lot of money selling peanut butter. Like this. I'm not that good at this. And then I finally, 2001, after 10 years at proctoring, I was like, I'm just gonna give it a shot.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I thought for sure.

[Greg Warren]

I was like, was this all in St. Louis?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That was in Cincinnati at the time. Yeah. I went Houston, which is where I became aware of you, and then Cincinnati.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But I was like, you know how back then, it's still that pretty much same. You have a opener, a middle and a headliner. And the. I was always the opener. I was the. The. The guy that was an Oprah in Dayton and Cincinnati and Columbus permanently. And it's a horrible job, you know, And I. I just.

[Greg Warren]

The first one on stage, they're still sitting down, they're ordering drinks.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

They haven't gelled as a crowd yet.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And I was just really fascinated with. With what it would be like to be the second guy, you know? Like, I was like, I just want to be the second guy.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So I literally quit a job making over $100,000. Stock options, like, all this stuff.

[Greg Warren]

Health insurance.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, all of it. So I could be the second guy. And I. I figured I'm just going to go out and do this for a couple years, then I'm going to probably have to go back and sell something somewhere. I didn't think that I could do it permanently, but I just. I just was like, I. I really want to be the second guy.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That and I want to not have to wake up and, you know, when. If it's like you meet girls at the show and everybody's going to a bar, I want to. I want to do that for a.

[Greg Warren]

Year instead of going home.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Now, I gotta ask you real quick. You. You went to West Point at the same time as my cousin.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, really?

[Greg Warren]

Michael Hoynes. Yeah. He was on the lacrosse team.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really? I don't think I. I only went for a year.

[Greg Warren]

All right. Yeah. His older brother Robbie went and he played lacrosse. And then Michael went. He played lacrosse there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow. And they graduated.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had to go into the military.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Did they stay in or.

[Greg Warren]

No? They each did. My. My cousin Michael got. He got cut loose after, like, three years because they were downsizing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Graham Rudman something. That was the Graham Rudman act that downsized the Army. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So he got, you know, free. Free college. And then, you know, the benefits that you get for life for doing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, man.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So he did pretty well, and now he does. I think he sells, like, helicopters to the military or something. He sells helicopters. But they both turned out great. I think. It's not probably. I have heard that they are the most heavily recruited college graduates in the country because not only is it a great academic school, but people are coming out with the discipline like no other school. And leadership skills.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I mean, I. I could. They should. I mean. And you. Because you're not. They're not recruiting them. They're recruiting after they've been in the army for five years.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know, you got to give them five years. So you're a second lieutenant in the army with people, responsibility. But it was weird, though, because, you know, I sort of figured once I quit West Point, I went the first year. I went the whole first year, the plebe year, and then I.

[Greg Warren]

Just A tough one, right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It is. It was. It was brutal. Yeah, it was. It was really hard. And I thought, well, I just ruined all my chances, you know, and then. But it's like, I remember when I got out of college and then I was working for Procter and Gamble for. I had a couple of my friends from West Point be like, hey, you think you could get me a job at West Point? I'm like, well, see, I'm. They're not any better off than, you know.

[Greg Warren]

Right. But when you were at West Point, did you feel like. Did you feel like that was something that you had wanted to do? Like, did you grow up saying, I want to go to West Point? Like, how did that occur to you? Because most kids don't even think about West Point when they're applying to colleges.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, if I'm honest with myself, there's, like, a few things that happen. So I was. I was a really good wrestler in. In high school and pretty good in college, but.

[Greg Warren]

So in high school, you're all American in college?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My senior year. Yeah, it's. It's. It's. It's good. I was. I took seventh in the country my. My senior year. Which. The top eight get All American. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

What was Your weight class?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

158.

[Greg Warren]

You've put on a few pounds since then.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know what you're talking about, man. It seemed maybe a few. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Pringles.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I think this is. You know. I don't know what you're saying.

[Greg Warren]

It's always when the guy starts wearing the T shirt that has longer sleeves. Just. You're just trying to start covering a little.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't think. I'm not. This. I think this is a fashion statement. This isn't a concealing anything.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, hey, there. There's the guns, baby. That's so sad when you're your age and you still go to the gym that much.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I. I'm not. I'm.

[Greg Warren]

I go to therapy, man.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I know, man. I've been.

[Greg Warren]

Have you been to therapy?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Would you figure out why?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I have a thing called the. It's a form, like some OCD stuff.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah. Interesting.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. It's that. And I can't now. I can't remember it because I'm on Under pressure. But it's like scrupulosity, I think it's called. It's like feeling guilty about stuff that you either did or did not do.

[Greg Warren]

Interesting.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And when do you think that started?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Definitely as a child.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I mean, I remember being like, my brother's big track truck is broken. And I'm like, I don't remember doing it, but maybe I did do it. Wow. Yeah. I mean, crazy person. Yeah. Yeah. And I would be like, I did it. I did it.

[Greg Warren]

Did you grow up Catholic?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I didn't.

[Greg Warren]

You weren't confessing? No, I mean, I was, because that's a Catholic mindset.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

When I went to the therapist for, like, the guy, one of the first times, he was like, are you religious? I go, no. He goes, most of the people that have what you have are religious.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Or, you know. And I was like, no. I just. My mom was Catholic, my dad was Jewish, and we didn't really do any of it.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I. I would, like, as a child, I would confess to stuff that I didn't do.

[Greg Warren]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

My kids have the opposite of that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

They deny everything. My daughter, one time, she was playing with my brother, my. My son and a neighbor.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And they were. They were in the bathroom, and I heard this crash, and I walk in, and the curtain. The shower curtain was hanging down. It was led. There's one clip left, and it was hanging down. I said, who did this? Like, clearly they were playing Tarzan or something. I go, who did this? And my son goes, I didn't do it. And then I said to the neighbor, did you do this? And he said, no, I didn't do it. And then I said to my daughter, did you do this? And she goes, no, but if I did, what would happen? And I was like, you did it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

How old was she at the time?

[Greg Warren]

Seven?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So you have this disorder and you only realize you have it, like, as an adult.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I was in a, I was in one of those. When I was living in New York, there was this freelancers union thing you could join to sort of get a little bit of discount on healthcare.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, I remember that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah. So. And they, they, the offices was in Brooklyn, and I went in and it was just like a normal checkup thing. And they're just you filling out the questionnaire and they're like, you know, are you depressed? And I mean, for my whole life, I'm like, no, I'm not the pr. I'm fine. Like, this is stupid, you know? And then just that day, I don't know, have me like, yeah, yeah, a little bit, you know?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So she started asking me questions, and I never, like, I'm not comfortable talking about a lot of it because it's like, you're gonna, in my head, I was like, I'm gonna tell you this stuff that I did or didn't do, 90, I didn't do it. You're gonna think that I did do it. And like, I don't want to talk about this.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So the, the guy, the doctor, he's really good, man. He's like, hey, man, this is, this is something that I think there's a social worker that's part of our practice, and I'm not talking to social worker. He's like, just trust me on this. Just talking. So I was like, I just got up the courage and sort of told her the stuff that was in my head.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And she was like, this is a form of ocd. She goes, I, I, I promise you it is. She goes, this is a thing. And she goes, you know, I want you to go see a therapist. I'm going to find the perfect person for this. Therapy was born. Born in the Upper west side of New York. There's somebody that. And she's like. I was like, okay. And I went in and the guy, like, said, yeah, this is a thing. It's called scrupulosity OCD. And it literally, at that point, it took about 90% of it away. I was like, just knowing, just because I was like, this is only Greg Warren's CR. Head that this is going on. Like, there's no way that this is a thing, that I'm the only freak that has this. And when they said there's a word for it, I was like, oh, oh, maybe, you know, and that. That helped. Then I went a little bit there, and then I didn't. And then I went. I found a guy in St. Louis that's really good. And I went for a while, and he was like, hey, I think you're all right, you know? He goes, you don't seem to be suffering too much.

[Greg Warren]

Right. So is it you do like cognitive behavioral therapy? Like, check your thoughts, question your thoughts?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, the. It's exposure. So, like, if, you know, if. If you're afraid of germs, they have you lick the floor or whatever with this. It's a little trickier, but they're like, I want you to just say this thing out loud that you think you might have done, or write it down and then just sit with it for, you know, 10 minutes or something.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And. And so, yeah, I think it helped. I mean, I'm not sure. I'm. I don't think it's. I don't think it's something you cure, and it's something that I probably maybe at some point should go back and talk to him about.

[Greg Warren]

Well, it is interesting that people think about cures for mental illnesses, and you just live with it. You know, you learn how to recognize it, control it, not react to it, and you live with it. And in, like, in your case, I could see how OCD has led you. I started to talk about how you drill down on bits. Like you have the ability to hyper focus on a topic and continue chipping away and finding another angle, finding another beat. Most comics, they kind of find one or two or three beats and they go, hey, I got a chunk. And then they move on.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, thanks for noticing that. And I didn't really get it going that way until maybe in the last seven years or something. But I think part of it is, you know, because I'm crazy. And then the other part is a few people help me. Burt Biggs, who's a guy that I sort of start around the same time and I've been friends with for he. He always said this thing to me. He's like, man, like, you're finding false bottoms here in these premises. You think you're done and you're not done. And then I told you when we were walking. I'm staying with my buddy Mark Gross, who's he's a, he's a great comic. He's been a TV writer for the last 20 years.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And he was telling me he's worked on a bunch of those Chuck Lorre shows. And he was telling me, like, those guys find the cracks within the cracks within the cracks. Like, those guys, if they're on something, they go so far down.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So I don't know, I just got to this point where. And I also think maybe if it's the one joke I, I may not be able to write. The one joke is, is if it's like, okay, we're gonna remember back in the 90s or whatever, it's like everybody had a joke about Domino's is putting the cheese in the crust, you know?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So everybody's got a joke about the, the Domino's stuffed crust pizza, you know, And I, and I remember thinking, I don't think my joke, no matter how hard it's not going to be in the top 10% of the cheese crust pizza jokes. So I was like, I either gotta write about stuff that, that nobody's writing about, like myself, or then that sort of morphed and I just needed to go deep, deep with like 20 jokes about, about that thing.

[Greg Warren]

Right? Yeah. And it's, and they're all in your voice. Like, you have a very specific kind of. You're not cynical, but you're like the everyman who's angry about stuff. And so I think you channel the thing that standup needs so much, which is that energy of like, I'm going to say the thing. Thing you kind of can't say. Yeah, but you're not doing it in a way that's, that's cynical.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I, yeah, I, I, and I, I love a lot of cynical comics too. You know, I, I really enjoy a lot of cynical comics. I like a lot of dirty comics. I like all of it. But I just sort of found like, h, this is maybe, maybe what works for me.

[Greg Warren]

And so I think there's a discipline to doing that too because, you know, continuing to, to, to sit with a, with a premise or a topic and continue to examine it, that takes like a. First of all, you have to be fearless because a lot of us feel like there's a piece of ore and you chip away and you find the, you find the gem and that's it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And to think, no, no, I can, I can go further with this. Like, there's a fear of failure that most people have that don't allow them to Keep digging.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I think. I think it's. I don't know if it's fearless for. I think all of us have that fearlessness after a while. If you're working enough where it's like, I'm going to go do this club that I do every couple years in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and there's seven nights of shows and.

[Greg Warren]

Why is there seven nights of shows?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, they just do. Their club is open Monday through Sunday in the summer.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, in the summer.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It's a vacation.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's a vacation spot. And it's like. And it's like. I mean, I. I can fail as much, and I, you know, you. I can do an hour and a half if I want to, and, like, we're not gonna fail. It's not gonna be a horrible set.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know, if it is, something's wrong.

[Greg Warren]

I don't mean the performance. I mean, most comics can't sit down and try to push themselves to think on the same area.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, we're so.

[Greg Warren]

Most have add.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And they just jump. Like, I got a notepad in my phone, and I jot down.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, me too.

[Greg Warren]

Thoughts.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And then I sort of write out a little bit, and then I try it on stage, and if it's working, I'm kind of like, all right. Yeah, but. But to stay with it. Do you think that you grew up as an athlete? And I know it was only a year, but you did go to West Point for a year. Do you think you have a certain discipline that a lot of other comics don't have?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, it. I'm looking at my life and, like, just flash over the last three weeks and be like, there's 37 undisciplined moments. Yeah, but. But, yeah. I mean, I think I do have the ability to be like. I sort of know, like, if you want anything that's going to be good, there has to be this certain amount of work to put into it, and it's uncomfortable. Yeah, there it is. I think that's the thing. I think the. The tendency. And I. I tell, like, some of the younger comics, the tendencies. You're writing on this premise, and you're like. You sort of premise hop, and you're like, well, I didn't find anything good in five minutes there. That means I probably need to skip to the other thing. And it's like, actually, the inverse is probably. If you're not finding it and you do think there's something there and it's not, you're not finding it. Right. Away it may wind up. That's the place where you should sit forever is. And, and by sit forever I mean that. But like keep going back to that for a few days, you know, a few minutes every day. And just like that's probably where you should invest is like it's not coming easy, but once you break it, it's. It's probably going to be something that had some depth to it.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. I find that my good writing is when I sit down because I'll write for two or three hours sometimes and I do. I go, I only get to two things but you know, a run you try to get. And then of that you're going to try it on. State of that, you know, amount. Say you write three pages. You're only going to do half of one of those pages on stage. And then a tenth of that will work.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So you gotta. People don't understand how much gets thrown at the walls.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's stand up, just stacks full of notebooks of terrible ideas or unexecutable ideas.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The other thing I don't know why I thought about when you're saying that is like you write and you're like, okay, I want to write about this. And. And you just. You get like, you start and it goes off to this branch and then you go on stage and you, you say all this stuff about this and the, the only thing that gets a laugh is that thing that's on the farthest tangent out here.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You. And I didn't learn this until I go, you need to be willing to cut everything off. And it's. Now the premise is just that this thing that is barely associated with the thing that you started writing about and start with that. And that's the new thing to, to write about.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Cause I guilty of it sometimes I'll have a bit and after a while I go like, especially if I'm going to do a special, I'm looking to really trim stuff. I go, this setup was how it evolved organically. It does. It's not the way it should be presented. It's like you said, like get rid of the whole trunk. Get rid of everything except for that blue that came out of.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that little thing over there.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. You said you write for two or three hours. I heard you say something where there's like some app that you're.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it's called the Pomodoro.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It's a 25 minute. You get it, you hit start and it goes for 25 minutes and then an alarm Goes off, and then you have five minutes to check your emails. I have a dartboard in my office. Sometimes I just shoot darts for five minutes, but you stop doing it. And then the alarm goes off after five minutes, and then you sit down again.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I gotta do it.

[Greg Warren]

So I'll do like five or six cycles of that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And what happens then is during that 25 minutes, you don't answer your phone, you don't check the news. I'll go online a little bit if I need to research that thought I'm having that I'm writing about, but otherwise I stay offline.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's great.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. I mean, I masturbate.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Well, I mean. Yeah, that's part of the.

[Greg Warren]

25.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that's. Sure, man. I mean, you're an artist.

[Greg Warren]

24. That one minute of writing, then I get a five minute break.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wait a minute, 24.

[Greg Warren]

Well, you know, I. Sometimes it takes me a while to find the right video.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You, you said you weren't on the Internet. Yeah, but for that.

[Greg Warren]

No, I got. No, especially when you go on the road, you can't look at the Internet in, in. In Texas, Florida. You can't look at porn. Have you, have you tried to watch porn in the South?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I'm sure I have. I don't. I don't know. I. I mean, I was in Florida and I didn't actually. Okay, this, this past.

[Greg Warren]

I was in Florida and I did. And it said you have to be 18, you have to show proof. So you have to hold your driver's license up to the camera of. You know what I mean?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Don't give them that. Yeah, don't do that.

[Greg Warren]

So I was just freestyling it all week. Yeah, it was hard. I didn't, I didn't think I had it in me.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You're an imaginative guy.

[Greg Warren]

I am, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Come on.

[Greg Warren]

But you know what's weird is I went pretty far back, you know, and I didn't go all the way back. But I was thinking, like, are you allowed? Because really, there was never anything that turned you on as much as girls in high school. You know, when you were in high school and they had on their little cheerleading outfit or whatever. But then I thought, am I allowed to go back to Julie Goldstein now? Because she's 16. I'm 59. But am I grandfathered in? Because I first started at 16.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So you knew her when you were 16 and she was 16?

[Greg Warren]

Yes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. There. There's probably some ethicist. Is that what they call them?

[Greg Warren]

The ethicists?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. There's an ethicist that would like.

[Greg Warren]

Right. I'm gonna put it out to my listeners. Write me fitzdogradio Gmail.com. do you think it's wrong? And I'm not talking about pulling the yearbook off the church shelf. That's one step too far. But if it's in my head.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, let me answer you right there. And this is areas that I don't get into very often, but I don't.

[Greg Warren]

Want to get in trouble with your whole dry bar, whatever. This Clean channel is on SiriusXM. I don't want you in trouble with that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But I will say one of the things I think I did learn and think you cannot be held accountable for what's in your head. Like, if there. There's. If. If what was in my head was punishable, I'd be. I'd be doing time forever.

[Greg Warren]

If you're Catholic, that is literally what happens.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They can't do that. They cannot do that.

[Greg Warren]

Like, you covet, not do it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Think about wanting to do it. But it's covenant. Yeah, but it's like two of the commandments.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right. But they're crazy. They're wrong.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I'm. I'm not taking a shot at somebody's religion. I'm just saying, you know, it's that whole, don't think of a purple gorilla. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you can't. You. If. If. If me. Salvation is based on what's in my head. It's already.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It was over a long time ago.

[Greg Warren]

Right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. There's horrible things in there.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I know. And it is with therapy. Like, Maria Bamford is really brave about sharing all the stuff that she. She had intrusive thoughts that were.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Really intense. Like sexual stuff. Yeah, yeah, Sexual stuff.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And she couldn't get out of her head. And so she realized that it was a form of ocd.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's ocd.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And she, you know, like I said before, she's not over it, but she can deal with it now. And it's just like you said, recognizing it and knowing that you're not the only one.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Lets the air out of it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, man, I'm glad to hear say that. Like. Yeah, I read, you know, he. He would tell me, I read this book about a. Intrusive thoughts and reading about it, and there was. They would go back to like the first guy who had scrupulosity, like in the 1400s. And I remember, like, reading it about it. I'm like, well, this Guy. I'm not near as bad off as it. Like, this poor guy is like, he's miserable, you know, because I think I have somewhat of a moral compass. But not like him, you know, like.

[Greg Warren]

So. So did you grow up in St. Louis?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

But you live there now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Nikki Glazer's there now. Do you ever see her?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Same high school as I went to.

[Greg Warren]

No way.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

She.

[Greg Warren]

She's a little younger than you, though.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Quite a bit.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah. We don't have to keep pointing out that, you know, I don't weigh 158 and then I'm old and that. No, I know.

[Greg Warren]

She's beautiful eyes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Thanks, man. Thanks.

[Greg Warren]

You get that a lot.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know, people have mentioned it on both sides of it, though. Like, they used to make fun of me when I was a kid and.

[Greg Warren]

And then now this special fun of you for having. Nice.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, they called me. They said I wore mascara when I was in the. When I was a kid. Yeah. And I thought that I was done with that. And then this special. There was. They did a fine job. But there was some lighting stuff and color correction stuff that because of the lighting that we couldn't quite. And man, it's like, this guy's hilarious. This guy's really funny. Like, nice things. And it's like this one sticks in my head. Like, who did my boy's makeup? They mass. They massacred his face.

[Greg Warren]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Like, this guy's wearing eye makeup, this guy's wearing lipstick, this guy's wearing. It's like for every 10, there's like, this guy's wearing eye makeup, this guy's wearing lipstick. And whatever they did sort of accentuated whatever's weird about my eyes. And yeah, man, I'm like my favorite. I sent it to a few friends. I'm like, they. Because that one is worse because they're sticking up for me. Like, they're. Whenever they're defending you, you know, they're kind of telling a truth. So they're like, they massacred my boy's face. Yeah, I was, I just wrote back. I was like, nah, dog, that's. That's my face, man. Like, you can't put this dude.

[Greg Warren]

Anything to get him talking.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Comments. The algorithm is all about how many comments you get going.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

God, man. On the. Not this special. With the last one, I said I had about a 10 minute chunk about nurses and I was making fun of nurse practitioners and they. They just lashed out at me. And then they started fighting with the doctors, and then it was like this Whole thing like, this has nothing to do with me, but I. I am getting crazy amounts of views on these clips because these people are in this, like, just philosophical argument along with, you know, people that have philosophy and then just Internet morons. But it was like, yeah, this is. This is. I'm like, at 3 million views. Because these people are fighting. Yeah. It's not because of quality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they scared me, my nurse friends. Like, hey, man, you don't want to mess with the nurse practitioners.

[Greg Warren]

No.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I. The. The funny thing is, like, we posted the clip in its entire, like, you know, it was like, when you could post longer clips, it was like two or three minutes, and nobody hated me because it was like, they saw I was. I'm just. But then when we posted the minute, there wasn't enough context to know that I don't. I don't hate nurse practitioners. So they were like, this guy's. And they're like, they're gonna. They're gonna take you down, man. I swear, I didn't. You know.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I like them.

[Greg Warren]

So when you did your last special, that was on. They were both YouTube, and this one's on YouTube.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, on Nate's YouTube.

[Greg Warren]

Three million views. That's pretty good, man.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that. That. That one was on YouTube, and then it went to Hulu and did pretty well there, too, Which.

[Greg Warren]

So what do you attribute the. I mean, I know you're a big Bob and Tom guy. That probably helped a lot.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Nate's endorsement helped a lot.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Nate's helped. I'm trying to think. I think for some reason, the peanut butter thing just caught on with people. Like, I just. People eat peanut butter, and I think. I think it kind of. Kind of caught on. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Jim Gaffigan moment.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, man. Actually, the Times did a review and Said mentioned, you know, Gaffigan and Hot Pockets.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, like. It was really cool. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, I. And, you know, I think the Nate Nathan definitely helped a ton.

[Greg Warren]

He just gave me a golf bag.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, did he?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, he was out in LA play. We were playing one of these, like, charity celebrity tournaments, and he won.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He did, yeah. He's good, man.

[Greg Warren]

Sick golfer.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I know. He's. I mean, I went. I just went to Europe with him, and they play. I. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You were with Greg Garcia, too?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

He speaks very highly.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, he's. He's the best play golf. He's opening for me, this at the Ice House on Saturday.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, Great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. He's, you know. Did you hear the story with that, man?

[Greg Warren]

What?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So he went.

[Greg Warren]

He had never done stand up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Never done stand up.

[Greg Warren]

People don't know. Greg Garcia is a pretty famous showrunner. He created. Yes, dear.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

My name is Earl.

[Greg Warren]

My name is Earl. I mean, tons of shows.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You know, he's just the greatest dude. He really is. Great guy. He's a great dude. He is, like, really a great dude.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, he's awesome.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So we go to Europe, and I think Nate at one point was like, hey, man, you got to open one of these shows, you know, or something. You're going to be with us. He was just kind of hanging out. It was me, Mike Vecchione, and Nate, and he's like, you know, they were in Vegas, I think, for Vecchion's bachelor party, and he was like, you should just. You should do one. You know, you're going to be out there. So, like, all right. And so we're on the plane, and he says to the tour manager, he's like, hey, which one of the shows am I opening? He goes, I didn't book an opener. You open it. All of them.

[Greg Warren]

In different countries.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Different countries, man. Meanwhile, I've been doing Stater for 30 years, and I'm racking my brain to be like, is any of this stuff going to be relatable? I'm doing best of. And so he's. He goes out there and he's good.

[Greg Warren]

I saw the video.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He's good.

[Greg Warren]

Very good.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then he came down to Irvine last month. I was like, hey, I'm in town. Come do. And I was like, this guy's got new material, and it's better. Like, you can see, like. I'm like, dude, you might catch the bug here. Yeah, yeah. It's like. It's good. And then he's like, he. I just text him, he's like, I got. I got some new stuff, man. And.

[Greg Warren]

Okay. All right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, He's. He's. It's really cool to see, man.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I've never. All of us said, I've never seen anybody go up and be that good. He's that quickly.

[Greg Warren]

He's the weirdest guy because he's worth so much money.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You know, he owns a piece of these shows.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And then we golf at his country club, and he spends half the time in the woods looking for golf balls. Does he really come out with his shirt out filled with balls, like a pouch and then the golf cart. All the compartments I got to fill with these goals. He's like, I got to prove he won. I'm like, you're worth millions, man.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I. I'm told you I'm still with my buddy Mark Gross, who. Who's had a lot of success as a writer.

[Greg Warren]

Sure.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know, he ran a show, and he's. He's done well, and he. You know, he grew up poor, so, like, there's certain stuff in him that is just not going to get. So, like, I'm staying. The thermostat is. It's 78, man. It's. It's 78, Greg.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, he's.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's. And there's nothing in his DNA that will ever let that thing. There's no amount of money where that will ever go down to 77.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's at 78.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. All right, let me get to a couple things I wanted to talk to you about.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You've got a podcast called the Consumers.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Tim Convey. Convey, yep. Sean o' Brien, the comedian. Sean o' Brien, the writer.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't think it's the guy you're thinking of. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's written some jokes. He's a funny guy.

[Greg Warren]

So what's that podcast all about?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

We pick a brand, and we do, like, a deep dive every week on the brand.

[Greg Warren]

Did you do Jiffy and Pringles already?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

First of all, it's not Jiffy. It's Jif. Yeah, yeah. Jiffy is stovetop popcorn. It's muffins, muffin mix, and it's oil. Oil changes.

[Greg Warren]

I've never seen you this angry in my life.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, man. I mean, it's.

[Greg Warren]

You really snapped just now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Let's snap. I'm. I'm defending something that I was a part of that I helped build.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I get it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. The corn muffin mix brand. That's a small niche.

[Greg Warren]

I know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Thing, man. The stovetop popcorn. I don't know what kind of business they do, but it's not. Jeff, peanut butter, man. It's not.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. All right. I can't. I can't remember your question, but I'm angry.

[Greg Warren]

Tell me about the podcast.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, man. Yeah. We. We. We haven't done Jif yet. I think we might have done Pringles. We did. I think the Sears episode came out today.

[Greg Warren]

Sears.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Oh, I got to listen to that one.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

If you're a kid our age, you grew up going to Sears. You got your jeans there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Tough skin.

[Greg Warren]

Dad got his power wrench there. You got your tires. You got your Christmas photo on the Shad carpeting.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they. Man, they had everything.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They had a craftsman. I think Kenmore was the appliance. Yeah. But they had, like, stuff that we. We didn't even know.

[Greg Warren]

They were all good quality. It was affordable, but it was all good quality.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The catalog, like, changed the face of America.

[Greg Warren]

It was at an L.L. bean. Those were the first catalogs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Montgomery Ward, I think, was the first one.

[Greg Warren]

Don't correct me on my.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, you're right, man. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right, man. You know. Yeah. I should have said.

[Greg Warren]

That's the jiffy thing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. No, I should have said that in private.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, I'm going to correct you, but I should have said private. Yes.

[Greg Warren]

Be discreet.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So, yeah, the Sears catalog and had sections. There were, you know, hardware section, you know, automotive section. Yeah. And they're still. They're starting to go out of business now. I think they might all be out of business.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There's eight left. I think one of them's in Burbank.

[Greg Warren]

There was one on Santa Monica, right by the promenade there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really? Yeah, yeah. They're done. They started, I think, school.

[Greg Warren]

It's where they relocated Brentwood. When it burnt to the ground, they moved the high school. Sears. Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Where'd you go to high school, man? Sears.

[Greg Warren]

Where'd you. Major.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Appliances.

[Greg Warren]

Appliances.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

They.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They had, I guess, Walmart and Target and started coming in under them.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then, you know, you had the department stores that were like. And they just. They were in this no man's land, right? They were. They were making money till, like, 2010. Yeah, they bought L.L. bean, actually.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, they did?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. No, Lands End, I think.

[Greg Warren]

Lands End.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I think they bought Lands End.

[Greg Warren]

Like, Lands End.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah, I did, too. My mom used to get us stuff from there.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But, yeah, so that was a pretty good episode. And I thought the Kentucky Fried Chicken episode was pretty good.

[Greg Warren]

Kentucky Fried Chicken is in every country I've ever been in in my life. Yeah, it's amazing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, I was in Bali, in Indonesia, and they had it there. I was in Spain, I was in Hong Kong. It's everywhere.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. South Africa.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Yes, it's. And it's awful. I mean, it's inedible. It's like, how do they find chickens that unhealthy that they consistently have bad meat?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It didn't used to be like, the Colonel. He's a fascinating guy. The Colonel's a madman. But the Colonel, at one point, he Sold it. But he still was on as the Colonel. Like, he still is a guy that they sent him to the talk shows and they put him in the uniform.

[Greg Warren]

And that was him originally.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah. So he's going out and he's talking to people and he's the guy. But he started getting furious with how they were changing the recipe. So he would just show up to a Kentucky Fried Chicken and order chicken and he'd take a bite of it and throw it on the floor.

[Greg Warren]

That's hilarious.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. The Colonel was. Yeah. And, and he swore a lot, too, I guess.

[Greg Warren]

I think he also said the N word just based on the outfit, I don't think. Plantation owner from the Civil War.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He does. He's got the look, but, Yeah, I read a lot about him, like, but I didn't hear that. Anything about that. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And then I love when they had, well, Gaffigan played him. Nor McDonald.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That was, that was Daryl Hammond, maybe.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, they must have had 12 different comedians.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Colonel, that was kind of brilliant.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I love that.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I, I wouldn't eat Kentucky Fried Chicken. Then there was the whole rumor in the 70s or 80s that there were rats and. Kevin, you ever heard that one?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, my God. It was right around the time when the, with the Tylenol deaths.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I remember that, man.

[Greg Warren]

And then all of a sudden they were saying that Kentucky Fried Chicken is rat meat. And it was everybody, it was that and it was Richard Gere having gerbils up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, I definitely heard that one. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. And that was pre Internet.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that was a man that really made its way around.

[Greg Warren]

Still around.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And is he, he said no on that, right?

[Greg Warren]

He's not said officially.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Good.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I think that's beneath Richard to comment on that at all.

[Greg Warren]

Do you take the teeth out of the geral first?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I.

[Greg Warren]

I, I'm going to get in trouble.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right. Yeah, no, it's time for. There are several gerbal dentists that.

[Greg Warren]

Very small pliers.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Very small. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

All right. It's time for fast balls with F. Oh, yeah, man.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I've heard this.

[Greg Warren]

Who's your closest male friend?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Mark Gross.

[Greg Warren]

How long you guys been that close?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

We worked on the road back in the 90s. I think I met him.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And yeah, you know, we've been pretty close friends for the last, you know, I talk to him almost every day.

[Greg Warren]

Probably tell him I say hello.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I will. Yeah, he's, I think he said you guys maybe did Montreal together. Or something like that? Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So do you find that you talk to him about stuff that. That's more intimate than you talk to, say, even a girlfriend?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I've been single for a while, but yeah. I mean, if there's something that's really bothering me, I can call them and. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You feel comfortable.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Be honest about them. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

That's awesome.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

A lot of guys don't have that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Well, I just told you and your listeners about my crazy OCD stuff, which I have. I don't think I've discussed that too much publicly. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Thanks for sharing that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, man. What are you gonna do? Yeah, it's at this point what. I think that's. At this point, you're like, it's probably not gonna. This isn't all gonna work out like I would have hoped anyway. So.

[Greg Warren]

We'Re at that age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny how many things that I held out hope for. I just go like, oh, no, no, that's not. I'm not gonna host a late night talk show. Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So it's like, I just maintain.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah. Maintain would be really good.

[Greg Warren]

Maintaining for five more years and then take it easy. Who's the worst feature act you ever showed up and. And had a feature act opening for you or. Or opener?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I would never say somebody's name. No.

[Greg Warren]

I wouldn't ask for the name.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, there was a. I'm trying to think about. If I say some of it, it'll be like, oh, I know, I know. That is all right.

[Greg Warren]

You might need to know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah. There was one guy, I remember, and he said like, he cursed just incessantly, which. And I used to curse, so. But. And I remember saying to. And he wasn't a bad guy, but it was. It was like, you know, I don't want to be the guy counting curse words, but I. I'd estimate it in 10 minutes. It was. We were in the. We're in the 500 range, probably, or something like that. Yeah, yeah. And.

[Greg Warren]

And he knows who he's opening for.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And I wasn't as clean back in. But I remember saying to him, I go. And I. Because I never, like, I, I. Maybe it's an ego thing. Be like, hey, man, you should be able to follow what. Whatever.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Don't tell the guy how to. You know. But I did. I was like, hey, man, you think he could cut it? Like, cut it to like 30 or something like that? And I wasn't being. I was like, you know, and. And Then he went up, not. He didn't say one curse when it was great. Like he had the ability to do it like that. He's like, oh, yeah, man.

[Greg Warren]

Right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I had a guy in Atlanta one time, he came down from New York, and he was a nice kid. He was actually pretty funny.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And he went up and I think because he'd seen how comics did it in New York, he just went on stage and he did crowd work for 15 minutes non stop.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And he came off and I. And I. I'm like, you. I don't want to tell the comic what to do say.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Warren]

It's just. To me, it creates an environment where now the crowd thinks this is a conversation.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And so I told him that to lighten up and. And then he felt so bad, and then he didn't do any cry. I go, I'm not saying don't do it, because if you're the host, you got to do a little bit. You know, people are like. I said, they're sitting down. You gotta get. Get them loose, you know? But, yeah, that was. That was a tough one.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. When I moved to New York and I went there, like in my 40s, you know, and lived there for about five years. And it was. It was great, you know, But I remember being surprised how much crowd work was going on. I was like, whoa, man, these guys are really.

[Greg Warren]

Well, part of it is the clubs are super small, so you can see everybody.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And some of them like. Like one of them, the one on the Upper east comic strip comics. The lights are full.

[Greg Warren]

Fully on.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Fully on, man.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It just. It's like. It's like in here. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. What's the closest you ever got to a fistfight on stage?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It was when I was living out here. I was doing the haha. I lived around the corner from the haha.

[Greg Warren]

Burbank.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. North Hollywood type thing. Yeah. And I. I get on. It was like a. Like a. Almost an afternoon show. And I was, you know, I was trying to get on stage as much as I could. So I'm on stage and I'm. Well, well, before me, the. The host was inexperienced and there was. There was probably 11 people on the show, if that. And there's these three young guys up front, and one of them's just openly talking on his phone. Not looking at his phone, not. It ran. He's having a loud conversation. And then the host was sort of inexperienced and did that thing where like, well, let me see your phone. You know, and then he talked to the person and then it's so cute. And this guy's like, well, now I'm part of the show, you know? So we just taught that guy, like, all you got to do is be a complete jerk and you can take over the show. So I had that the back of my mind. Like, I'm like, I don't like it. I don't like when they think they, they own the show. So I get on stage and I'm eating it hard, okay? And then I, I had this roommate, this girl that lived with me, and she's in the back, she had just kind of walked in and she's like, ha. Like she's trying to help me and like, with her. And I'm like, just please, just let me eat it in peace. Like, this isn't helping. Yeah, this is, this is like, we all know it's not funny right now. Like, don't, don't, don't help me with this. So, so that's going on. I'm already mad about that. And then the guy starts talking on the phone again.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And he's like. And I could tell he's doing it because he knows I'm gonna play the game. He's like, loudly, you know, yeah, yeah, man, yeah, yeah, no, I'm here, you know, I go.

[Greg Warren]

And the door staff is doing nothing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There's no door staff, man. It's a five o' clock show at the haha on a Wednesday. Like, there's no door staff, I think. So I, I go, hey, let me see your phone. And he could not have been happier to give me that phone because he thinks we're going to play the game. And I just had a flash and I just went. And it just skipped across the floor, hit the wall, burst into like 10 pieces. Just bam. And I'm like, oh, boy. Yeah. So now he's up. Like, let's go, man. Do you want to fight? And here's my logic at the time, I'm like, I can't have a fight inside this club. These guys are. I'm gonna get in trouble. And they won't let me work the club. And I go, let's go outside. As if fighting out in front of.

[Greg Warren]

The club is gonna be just fine.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That would be just fine. So, so we go outside. We go outside and these three guys, and I'm middle of your set, you.

[Greg Warren]

Just walk off stage.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

The other two guys come with them.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, they're out there. And I'm out there and I gotta Say this. There's a. Some things I feel bad about. Not any of this, but this. Remember, you know Dan Mint, one of the funniest guys in the world. Dan Mint, he's got my back. He comes out.

[Greg Warren]

You could not ask for a worse guy to have your back.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And here's the thing. I said that in an interview one time, and Mince heard it, and I think it was out of context. He's like, I can't believe you said that, man. And I was like, I thought. I still want to apologize today. I apologize. I should apologize for the rest of my life because he had my back. Mint is, like, behind me.

[Greg Warren]

That's true.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Mint is, like, right there with me. Like, you go through Greg, you go through me. And I said something like. And Mince doesn't appear to be a fighter. He's about 125 in a brilliant comic. But Mince had my back. And then. And these guys were Armenian, and Jack, the owner of the club's Armenian. And Jack comes out, and Jack's like, greg, get inside right now. I know these guys. I don't know them personally, but I know who these guys are. They will kill you. Like. Like, he's like. He's like, I have been around people like, this is. They, like. And then. So I. And then I. Like, I had a flash of reason, and I'm like, all right. Jack says, going. So I go inside and. And I was like, I'll pay for the phone, you know, or whatever. And then Jack's like, okay. Like, he got it squared away where they didn't want to kill me or whatever. And then. And he's like, he'll pay for your phone. And then. And they. It was like. It was. I think I like, 300 bucks, which now is nothing. But back then, it was not a 300 phone or whatever. And I was like, I'll pay. Whatever, man. Yeah, yeah. So that's. I think that's definitely.

[Greg Warren]

That's awesome.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah, that was. And I remember, like, freaking out. And then I drove. My buddy Henry Phillips, had a show down at the Ramada Inn somewhere, I think, in, like. I can't remember where it was, but I went there and. And I got on stage, and, like, I remember Todd Glass was in the crowd and. And Nick Schwartz, and I told the. The show, the story on right after that, man. I was like, this just happened, man. This just happened. I was, like, all charged up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Now that's good. I like that you went outside with them, though. That's Good.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I was like, yeah, real smart, you know, because, like, having a club, having a fight inside the club, that would be stupid. But fighting out the street, the club owner's not gonna matter. He's not gonna mind if I just fight in. And I was like, I will fight the. You know. Yeah, Yeah. I was an idiot. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Two more questions. What's the last time you apologize to somebody? And this is a good question for you because you're prone to that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

My buddy and I, Sean, had a disagreement on the.

[Greg Warren]

Sean o' Brien.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He's like. He's one of Closest friends. Yeah. And.

[Greg Warren]

Disagreement on the podcast.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. We blew up at each other, I think.

[Greg Warren]

Really? Kind of like us before, for.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, man.

[Greg Warren]

Well expected apology after the podcast. I mean, Jif. Jiffy. It's like how.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, you got this all wrong, man. You. You took a product that I put my life into and you just lumped it in with these B minus level products. And. And. And. And I'm supposed to apologize to you.

[Greg Warren]

Do you want to go outside?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I'm not.

[Greg Warren]

Meaning.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I'm not buying a phone. I'm not buying another phone. They're like fifteen hundred dollars now.

[Greg Warren]

So what did you guys fight about?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I can't. I think I said something a little bit. Like, it's funny because some of the relationship on the podcast is like, I'm older than him and, you know, I'll be a little bit of a jerk to him or whatever, and. But it's in character. And I think I. I kind of got out of character on one thing, and I think he was like, you can't. And then. And then he flipped out of me and. And it's all fine. Like, but. But I remember being like, no, he's wrong on this. And then in my. I was like, actually, you know, there's some stuff that I'm, you know.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. So I. I think. I think I said I was sorry.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. It's good. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, I think it. Occasionally relationships need a little bit of a reset. You know, you need to have a fight and a makeup sometimes to remind yourself how much the person means to you.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, man. Yeah. I mean, he's. That guy's. You know, he's one of my best friends and he's Good Irishman. Yeah, yeah, he's a great guy. And he's a. He's a. He's a. He's really, really good on the podcast.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But, yeah, yeah, we. It's. I heard you talk to. I can't I think it was Tom Arnold, I think you talked to about this and you said, like, when you say you sorry, you can't say I'm sorry, but qualify. Yeah. And I think I might have qualified because there was a lot of back and forth on that one.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah. Well, I think if you say I apologize for my part.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Without saying I. I'm. I'm sorry, but you. Then it's.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I know. I mean, we both had some stuff and I.

[Greg Warren]

He apologize as well.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, definitely, man. Yeah, yeah. And. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're good.

[Greg Warren]

Get it out. They get it out. Women hold on to for years.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, not to. Not to generalize, but I just find in Jen, like, guys I used to have fist fights with, my friends growing, like, on the ground, wailing on each other, and we were hanging out the next day.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Boston Irish. I guess that's just.

[Greg Warren]

Well, I mean, I grew up in New York, but yeah, I started doing comedy. I was in college.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, where'd you. Where'd you go to?

[Greg Warren]

Harvard.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, did you really? Wow.

[Greg Warren]

No, I went to Boston University. I love that. He said, did you really? Not even frisk? No, I believed it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I did, man. I did. I would. Yeah. Didn't Geraldo go to Harvard?

[Greg Warren]

Went to Harvard Law School.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I. I would. I would believe it, man. I really would. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I praise.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wrestler guy from Boston University. I think he.

[Greg Warren]

What?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

A wrestler guy from Boston.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, you did?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah. They didn't. They don't have a program anymore, but, yeah, they're wrestling.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I was friends with some wrestlers. All right, final question, and then I'll let you go back to. Where are you staying? What part of town?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Up in Stevenson Ranch.

[Greg Warren]

Up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Up the five? Yeah, way up the five.

[Greg Warren]

How long did it take you to get here?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It took a while. I think an hour or something.

[Greg Warren]

Jesus. Thank you for making the trip.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I enjoyed it, man. Aside from the jiffy thing.

[Greg Warren]

Can't let it go.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I can apologize for that.

[Greg Warren]

What's the hackiest bit you've ever done?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, God.

[Greg Warren]

Yep. You've been doing a lot of years, my friend. I expect something really bad.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There was this. There was this. I fashioned myself as an impressionist early on.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And remember, like, the Red Beers, there was that craze of, like, Red Dog Red, whatever.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And Red, Red, Red something or other. And I remember saying they ought to have a. A Red Fox beer. And then I like, do it. Lamont. Go in the kitchen. Sun, get me A red fox. You understand their logic on that one.

[Greg Warren]

How long did it take you to figure that out?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know, man.

[Greg Warren]

It just kind of came right out.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, I was. No, I was pouring over anything at that point. Yeah. Then I also. And I thought it was because I heard you and Arnold talking about a little bit. Like, I pretty much lifted a Daryl Hammond impression back then. Yeah. Which I feel like such a. Like.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It was like I was. There was a. Liquor Guns and Ammo was a store, a literal store where I went to college. And I. And I did a series of people shopping there. I think Homer Simpson shop there. And then I had Leave it to Beaver. Beaver Cleaver. And I just basically did his, like.

[Greg Warren]

Not the words, just.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I think some of the words. Really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah. Not proud of that.

[Greg Warren]

No. I remember this kid, Jeff Nichols, he comes up to me at the Comic Strip one night and he's like. He's like, you know that bit you do about walking your dog and someone stops you to pet him? I said, yeah. He goes, did really well in West Palm beach last week.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah. I did a bit that you did one time really early on. Yeah. Yeah, man. And I, you know, and my buddy stopped me. This is open. Micro level.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Stuff my buddy Brian Hersey told me. He's like, hey, man, Fitzsimmons does that bit.

[Greg Warren]

Did you know or you just wrote the same bet?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't think I knew.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But I think if I had to guess back then, with my ability. I think I probably heard you do it.

[Greg Warren]

And what was the bit.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The bit about gay marriage. They're against gay marriage, I think. And like, when you get married, you're not having sex anyways. Yeah. Something to do with that. Like. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I could see two people coming up with that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. But I. I think I had seen you sitting there. If I had to guess, it was.

[Greg Warren]

It was.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't think I was like, I'm going to take that and you know. Or as bad as a Daryl. Him. But I think I. You know, my. My buddy Brian Herzog was like, hey, man, you can't.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. All right, I accept your apology.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I am sorry for that, man. I'm sorry for that. I'm not sorry for the peanut butter, but I'm sincerely sorry for that.

[Greg Warren]

I'm gonna start doing that bit again. I forgot I had that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's a great bit, man.

[Greg Warren]

You're gonna be. If you want to see bits like red Fox beer. June 23rd. 29th. Lamont, you ugly. June 23rd to the 29th at Brad Garrett's club in Vegas, which is one of my. I've only done it once, but, man, did I fall in love with that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

How about that room, man? Every little detail is perfect.

[Greg Warren]

But how about that staff?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty girls and nice people, and they're related.

[Greg Warren]

It's like.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those guys.

[Greg Warren]

Those two were Brad's. Brad. Their parents were good friends with Brad, and the parents passed away, and he's.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Taking care of the three kids. Yeah, he's like their godfather.

[Greg Warren]

I think he's one of the great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He's awesome.

[Greg Warren]

He's. He's like a Greg Garcia level great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, he's just. Yeah, yeah. He's so funny, man. Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Also July 5th in Myrtle Beach. June 29th through July 5th, July 11th and 12 in Nashville. Then he's coming to Des Moines, Naples, Sarasota, Charleston, Greenville Charlotte, Raleigh, Portland, Maine, Pottstown, Pennsylvania. I'm doing that gig next month.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, that's a good gig, man. It's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good one.

[Greg Warren]

Grand Rapids and Toledo. A bunch of other dates go to Greg Warren. W-A R R E N comedy dot com, my friend. Thank you so much for coming in.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, this is. This is outstanding, man. Thanks.

[Greg Warren]

It was really fun.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Thanks a lot, man. Enjoyed it. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, and. Oh, I'm sorry. And the championship. Oh, yeah, Champ. It's on Nate Land Channel, which is on YouTube, and, yeah, it's really good. I just watched it today.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Google the Champ, and it's not the Ricky Schroeder Jon Voight picture.

[Greg Warren]

It's not that funny. But it's funny.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah. Mine's sadder. It's much sadder than the thing where the. Where the boxer dies at the end.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, my God.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

All right.