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- [00:04]
Fitz
When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets. Mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn more@WhatsApp.com this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to.
- [00:35]
Ian Edwards
Do list is a great feeling.
- [00:37]
Fitz
And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs.
- [00:51]
Ian Edwards
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
- [00:56]
Fitz
This episode is brought to you by Indeed. When your computer breaks, you don't wait for it to magically start working again. You fix the problem. So why wait to hire the people your company desperately needs? Use Indeed's sponsored jobs to hire top talent fast. And even better, you only pay for results. There's no need to wait. Speed up your hiring with a $75 sponsor job credit@ Indeed.com podcast terms and conditions apply. Hi, welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. Oh, it's that time again. I don't know, when you listen, maybe. Maybe you sit on a beanbag chair with some Bose headphones and eat popcorn and just take it in. Maybe, maybe you have like a big old timey radio and you plug it in and the family sits around it cross legged. Maybe you're working out, laughing on the fucking elliptical machine, falling off, making a scene. However it is that you do it, I thank you, thank you for tuning in. It's an honor to be a part of your world. We've done a lot of podcasts together. Spread the word. If you enjoy it. We get some great guests coming in every week. This week is no exception. Ian Edwards will be here. He's been here before. Last week Drew lynch was here. We had a fucking blast. And then he went away to, I think it was in Spokane, Washington. Did a show. And I don't know if you saw this on the Internet, but somebody had. Somebody collapsed and went unconscious at his show, had a seizure. I don't, I'm not sure what happened, but it required several members of the audience to come together. They did cpr. They saved his life. And Drew stood there and calmed the crowd, got people to help. Paramedics came, they took the guy away. Um, he cried on stage afterwards, which I'm not sure how I feel about that, but he cried now. It was very moving. It was very powerful. And then he. I called him when I heard about it. So I talked to him about it, and he said that he went to the hospital the next day, and he spoke to the guy, said he was an incredible guy, and the guy is a speech pathologist, which is so crazy, because Drew has conquered his stutter over the years. I don't even know if you would have noticed that he stuttered during my podcast with him. I don't even know that we talked about it, but he really connected with this guy. Saw him in the hospital, and. Pretty amazing story. So it just goes to show you, you come and do my podcast. Magic things happen in your life. Lot of guys get laid. A lot of women get pregnant who do this show. Um, I had a guy become a knight. He was knighted by the queen. I was just reading about Prince Andrew, who was an Epstein island guy. His. His wife, who I think is Fergie, they just. All of her charities just dropped her, which you got to think is a big, big fucking deal. Like, she's one of the biggest faces of charitable organizations in the world. They all dropped her because they found a letter that she sent to Epstein apologizing that she had spoken out against him after her brother was named. I think she was trying to get Epstein to not talk about her. No, not a brother. Husband. Right? Yeah, her husband Andrew, who cheated on her with little girls. Ugh. Ugh. When's it gonna come out, huh? Um. This guy that I don't like, and I was at a comedy club recently, and I realized that he found out I don't like him, which I am so upset about, because the joy of disliking somebody intensely is that it's anonymous. Once they know, it's not fun anymore, it's like. It's almost like, you know, when the. When the Houston Astros had stolen the signs from the Dodger from the LA Dodgers during the World Series, and they knew what pitch the pitcher was gonna throw, so they were able to hit it. That's how it is now. From now on, when I talk to this guy, and he's gonna know I'm not a fan, and he's gonna block my little inroads. My little, how's it going, man? And he gives me some info, and then I call my other friend who doesn't like him, and we talk about it. It's like, I'm undercover I'm a double agent. Now he knows. Son of a bitch. All right, it's Ian Edwards. No, he's my guest today. I got this. I'm wearing a golf shirt, which I'm looking at myself on camera. You don't. I don't normally wear golf shirts unless I'm golfing. That's kind of my rule. Like, when I see guys at my comedy shows and they have golf shirts on, I just think, dude, what other sport do you wear your uniform out at night, you know, Play your sport. Take the fucking uniform off. Put on a button down or a sweater or a cardigan, even a hoodie, but don't wear a fucking golf shirt because you look like a guy who plays golf. I love playing golf. It is one of the biggest joys in my life. I can't wait to retire and play four days a week. But I don't want to be seen. I don't even know I'm talking about it. I don't want to be known as a golfer. It's just not. Of all the sports to be known as being good at, golf is at the bottom of the list. Number one would be like mma, you know, Number two would be surfing. Number three would be lacrosse, ice hockey. But golf, the whole stigma is a bunch of rich white guys talking about stocks, which is not. I play at Penmar, which is my local course in Venice, and it's fucking great. It's all blue collar kind of dudes, a lot of guys that are older that have been playing there for 30 years, and characters. And, you know, it's not like that. I do play the good courses. I get invited to do these benefit shows sometimes. I just got asked, actually. I'm performing at Bel Air Country Club in a week, and they're paying me, but they're also giving me a free round of golf at what is considered maybe the best course in la. So I'll whore myself out for free golf. Not free. I'm getting paid. I get. I'm double dipping. I was just in Denver this past weekend. Thank you so much to the crowds that came out, literally second favorite club in the country. And as people know, I say that only so that nobody ever asked me what my first favorite. It might in fact be my favorite club. Sold out a bunch of shows. Saw a bunch of people that come back every year. I had Jeff Garland was in town playing the other club. So I went out for a whole afternoon with Jeff Garland, and, man, that motherfucker cracks me up. He goes a mile a minute. It's exhaust. I needed a nap after hanging out with Jeff Garland, but I really had a great time. He's. He's a fun dude. How's my volume? My volume's a little low. I think I turned up a touch. I was thinking about, like, the worst. I was thinking about, like, people were really drunk and high. Like, everybody in Denver gets high for the show, which is kind of good. Like, they laugh a lot, but then you talk to them after the show and they've been drinking and they're on edibles and. And the thing is, you come off as kind of dumb. You're literally killing brain cells. You're lowering your ability to think quickly. You are abbreviating your vocabulary. You're dumber. And yet the worst thing anybody. You never want to be. That guy's dumb. Dude, you're an idiot. How fucking stupid are you? Like, it's the worst thing to be considered. And yet that is our number one recreational activity when we're not working is to make ourselves dumber. To meet up with people that we find interesting and funny and then all get dumb together. Lower the level of the conversation. Why? Because it makes you feel more? Because it lets you access your. Your emotions. Go to therapy. That's what I did. I'm pretty shut down in some ways. I wish I was. I feel like when I drank, I was. It's true. I was looser. I. I think I cried more. I was like Drew lynch crying all the time. You also don't want to be called. There's so many things that people will call other people that nobody ever calls themselves. Like, people say, that guy's a libtard. And there will be a certain percentage of the population that will all assess that person and go, yeah, yeah, that's a libtard. Or that guy's incel. But nobody would ever say I'm incel. Literally, not one person would say I'm incel.
- [11:12]
Ian Edwards
And.
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Fitz
And yet it's very obvious when you meet a guy who's online 14 hours a day and masturbating and hating on women, and I guess it gets ra. It. It ends up. It always ends up being against the Jews. Any of these. Any of the hate. Any of the conspiracy. It. Boy, you do it long enough, you're gonna hate the Jews. I don't know why. That's where it ends up. That's where dumb think gets you eventually. Um, but yeah. And now antifa is becoming a thing that the. The. That the government is now declared that antifa is a terrorist. Organization, which is like saying that. It's like saying socialism. That's not. Probably not even a good. It's like saying fascism is, is a, is a terrorist organization. It's not an organization. It's a. It's a. It's a mindset. It's a. What's. What's the word I'm thinking of? It's not a philosophy, not a mindset. It's a ideology. It's an ideology. It's not an organized set of officers and captains that are sowing disruption. It's just a way to say, here's a big umbrella that we're saying everything under this big umbrella is illegal. And then you can start throwing things under that that you want. You can throw in socialists, you can throw in progressives. You can start saying that these people fit the description of antifa because it's such a wide misunderstanding of what an organization really is. Wait, that's a bad example because those were also. No, it's like throwing the ACLU under there. It's like throwing any organization that. The people that Greenpeace, you can put them under antifa because some people that have worked for Greenpeace have committed acts of eco terrorism. Therefore Greenpeace is antifa. And therefore the government has rights to violate their civil liberties in pursuit of shutting down terrorism, which is just a big. It's like what they did with Kimmel. There, There is just ways of going around the Constitution right now that we have to be very. I'm not going to get political because we did on Sunday papers and we lost. I don't know how many people wrote in saying, I'll let. I'll never listen again. I'm sorry that I have a set of beliefs that might be a little different than yours. Can you just hear me out for four minutes of a one hour and 20 minute podcast? Is that possible for you? Anyway, all right, let's get to it. I will be at Comics in Connecticut at the Mohegan Sun Casino, September 26th and 27th. Fairbanks, Alaska, October 1st through the 4th. Vegas at Brad Garrett's, October 13th through 19. There's a Best Buddies benefit at the Comedy Store October 30th. Big name acts get your tickets now. The Den theater in Chicago, November 8th. Also coming to Skankfest in New Orleans. Phoenix, just announced at the Punchline, November 28th through 30th. San Francisco Punchline, December 11th through 13. Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey, December 26th and 27th. Go to fitzdog.com click on the link. It'll show you how to get tickets. Buy some, bring some friends. Friends support live comedy. I can't wait to see you. Got a new hour of fun stuff. My guest today is a guy who's kind of a hybrid. He is an actor, he is a writer, he's a comedian. He's written on shows like the Keenan Ivory Wayne show, the Boondocks. We wrote together on a Jamie Foxx sketch show called in the Flow. Back in a number of years ago. We wrote on Crashing Together on hbo. He wrote on Blackish, two Broke Girls, the Carmichael Show. He's also performed on Conan at Midnight. Just tons of. Tons of shit. He's on all. He's on Joe Rogan today. I'm competing with Joe Rogan for the same guest today. He's out promoting his new special, which we'll talk about kickback. Get your popcorn ready. Settle into the bean bag. Here's my talk with Ian Edwards. All right, I'm here with my guest, Ian Edwards, who is microphone challenged. He's been in front of microphones now for about 27 years. How many years you been doing stand up?
- [16:18]
Ian Edwards
Over 20 years. That's what. That's the. That's the highest. I tell people. Yeah, but it's been a minute.
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Fitz
Do you feel like people say 14 years is the. Is how long it takes to get really good.
- [16:29]
Ian Edwards
Right. I say seven is, like, the first time you kind of know who you are.
- [16:39]
Fitz
Yes.
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Ian Edwards
And then 14 is, like, a really good time.
- [16:45]
Fitz
Yes.
- [16:45]
Ian Edwards
To be, like, in, like, high gear.
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Fitz
Seven is the least amount of time you should be doing stand up before you start headlining rooms.
- [16:52]
Ian Edwards
Right.
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Fitz
I see these. I see these guys, like, they do kill Tony a dozen times, and all of a sudden they're headlining rooms, and they're used to doing five minutes, you.
- [17:01]
Ian Edwards
Know, the world unchanged. I'm not even mad at them. Like, you can't.
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Fitz
I didn't say I was mad at.
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Ian Edwards
Them, but I'm just saying that, like, you can't trust the industry to figure this out for you.
- [17:12]
Fitz
Right?
- [17:13]
Ian Edwards
So especially in this. The way. The way, like, look how long I've waited for, like, a special.
- [17:20]
Fitz
Yes.
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Ian Edwards
You know what I mean? So it's like, hey, man, don't wait for people to tell you you're ready.
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Fitz
No. Well, Bill Burr. Did Bill Burr produce your first special? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you waited for Bill Burr to tell you you were ready?
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Ian Edwards
No, I waited for Burr to get a deal and say, hey, man, you should have him on Comedy Central and give him a special because you never gave him one before.
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Fitz
Right, yeah.
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Ian Edwards
So that's what I waited for. But I've done stuff for Comedy Central, like their stand up shows and shit, but they never gave me a half hour or anything.
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Fitz
Right, right. Plus it was always like. There used to be little talk shows and shit that you get on a, you know, like, Tough Crowd was on for a while. And what was the other one that Comedy Central did was D. David Spade on Comedy Central? I think so, yeah. What was that show called?
- [18:08]
Ian Edwards
I did that.
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Fitz
Lights Out.
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Ian Edwards
Lights out with David Spades out a few times.
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Fitz
Yeah, that was fun.
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Ian Edwards
Yeah, I did that. I did. Baron Vaughn had a show on there, I think one time Comedy Central did a version of Russell Simmons Def Jam. So I wrote on that and was on there.
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Fitz
And then Chocolate News was Comedy Central, right?
- [18:27]
Ian Edwards
Chocolate News was Comedy Central. Yeah.
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Fitz
Were you on that? I just wrote on that.
- [18:31]
Ian Edwards
Just wrote on that. Yeah, yeah, that was a fun ass show.
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Fitz
I was like, you know, I always research my guests. Even though I've known you for a lot of years, I still do my. I do my work.
- [18:39]
Ian Edwards
That's good. That's good. It's good muscle to keep.
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Fitz
Yeah.
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Ian Edwards
Exercising and flexing. Hey, Chat. GPT.
- [18:47]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [18:48]
Ian Edwards
Who the hell is Ian Evers?
- [18:51]
Fitz
And they said. And they gave me a list of 17. Now, you were the. You were the first one to pop up, but I forgot how many shows you've written on. You've written on a lot of TV shows. Jesus Christ.
- [19:02]
Ian Edwards
I forgot too. I mean, could you remind me of something because I don't know.
- [19:06]
Fitz
Yeah, you wrote on Keenan Kenan had a show. Yeah, Shit, Keenan Wayne's.
- [19:11]
Ian Edwards
No, I'm kidding. I remember.
- [19:12]
Fitz
Well, you wrote in the Flow with hayfieon Crockett on Fox.
- [19:15]
Ian Edwards
Well, we wrote on.
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Fitz
We wrote on that together, which was a Jamie Foxx produced show.
- [19:21]
Ian Edwards
Right, right.
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Fitz
And when we say Jamie Foxx produced. Jamie Foxx spent a lot of money. Yeah, I remember he did.
- [19:28]
Ian Edwards
Was it his money or the network's money?
- [19:30]
Fitz
It was the network's money. He had one sketch. I came on late. I came on like maybe halfway through and they had already shot one sketch where they blew like half the budget on one sketch at a mansion with a bunch of sports cars. Do you remember that?
- [19:47]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, I wasn't on that shoot.
- [19:49]
Fitz
No, you weren't, but.
- [19:50]
Ian Edwards
But I remember now vaguely the sketch. But so let me tell you something. We were writing on the show, right? We were writing on the show. Jamie wasn't even around yet. He was a producer, but he was busy doing something. And then he comes in and then they shoot that sketch. And then, like, at the same time, the first set of sketches we wrote, they were like, all right, we're gonna put this show on right after American Idol.
- [20:17]
Fitz
Like, this is gonna be Sunday nights, nine o'. Clock.
- [20:20]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. We want this to do well.
- [20:22]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [20:23]
Ian Edwards
And then the more the show went on, the more we got demoted. We're gonna cut this down from nine episodes to six just to see how it goes.
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Fitz
Yeah.
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Ian Edwards
But then. So what did they. When they brought you guys in, it was you and Hugh Fink. And Hugh Fink, right.
- [20:38]
Fitz
Yeah.
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Ian Edwards
Experienced writers. What did they tell y'? All? Because they made you read all our sketches. Yes, to determine what. So what was. Like, you guys came in, like, the cleaner, the fixer.
- [20:53]
Fitz
I didn't know that when I came in. I just know I got hired. And then me and Hugh walk in, and then all of a sudden, like, the exec, the producer from Fox, is like, all right, so you guys are in charge. And we're like, well, I didn't. First of all, I'm not getting paid for. In charge money.
- [21:09]
Ian Edwards
They stay blindsided. Y' all, too.
- [21:10]
Fitz
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, it was just. I think they did it to freak you guys out, to make you think that there was, like, new people coming in to shake things up. And that was not a website.
- [21:21]
Ian Edwards
Was presented to us.
- [21:21]
Fitz
Yeah, well, that. That was a false.
- [21:23]
Ian Edwards
Oh, so who did that?
- [21:25]
Fitz
It was. I. Don't say his name.
- [21:27]
Ian Edwards
No, don't say the name. But what's the branch of the organization? Of the. We know the organization, but it was.
- [21:34]
Fitz
The head of the production side of the studio side, not the network side.
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Ian Edwards
Not the network.
- [21:41]
Fitz
Yeah. And so we came in and I remember, like, they did tell. And also they're like, yeah, look at the sketches. So we're in the writers room and we're like. And we're like. There was so many index cards on the wall for sketches. And so we didn't. Obviously, we didn't read all the scripts. We were just, like, looking at the board and we're like, what's. Like, what's this one? And so. And it said. It said leave it to Bieber. And I go, oh, okay, what's that? And then somebody goes, well, it's Leave it to Beaver, except it's with Justin Bieber. And I go, okay. I go, what's the sketch? And they were like, well, that's the.
- [22:23]
Ian Edwards
Sketch, but who's explaining it to you? Who's the person explaining it to you?
- [22:29]
Fitz
I think it was Chris Spencer, maybe Chris Spencer. And I was just like, well, that's not a sketch, that's just a title for a sketch.
- [22:35]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, I don't remember that sketch.
- [22:36]
Fitz
Yeah.
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Ian Edwards
But I, I just remember there was. We had a bunch of really great sketches.
- [22:44]
Fitz
Yes.
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Ian Edwards
And that's when we got bumped up.
- [22:47]
Fitz
Okay.
- [22:47]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [22:48]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [22:48]
Ian Edwards
And then, then all the sketches got thrown out.
- [22:53]
Fitz
Really?
- [22:53]
Ian Edwards
Yes.
- [22:54]
Fitz
Well, that was before we came out.
- [22:55]
Ian Edwards
Before you guys came. So then we were like kind of deflated.
- [22:58]
Fitz
Uh huh. The room felt deflated.
- [23:01]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. So we then, and then we, we wrote in deflation mode some news because we know those sketches were good and they got okayed all the way up until a certain point. And then somebody was like, nah.
- [23:14]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah.
- [23:15]
Ian Edwards
Like if the network likes these, that means that they gotta be more harder. Cause the networks likes them.
- [23:24]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [23:24]
Ian Edwards
So they threw them out. And I was like, but these are funny. Just regardless.
- [23:28]
Fitz
Yeah. Well, I think the other thing was so much money got spent on Jamie's early sketches that they had to sort of pare down how many actors could be in a sketch, whether or not it was remote, whether or not it needed props, whether or not it, you know, so by the end, but by the time we were there, they were like, okay, green screen, two actors. Like that was it, like, that's why I came up.
- [23:54]
Ian Edwards
Like what we're doing now.
- [23:55]
Fitz
Exactly. And we're starting. This is at the peak. This is at the peak of this podcast. But it was like, I remember. Well, this show was called in the Flow with Afion Croc. And Afion is a very talented guy who does impressions. Good sketch actor. And then Jamie was the producer. So they came together, but they weren't really working together. And it was almost like there was two camps of people working on the show yet. Jamie's crew, and then you had Afion's crew. And Jamie's crew weren't necessarily the most experienced writers. Not all of them. Like some of them were. But then there was this one guy who was a full staff writer. And I said. And they said to me, well, you need to hire somebody for. I'm not gonna say the guy's name. Hire somebody for him. And I said, why? And they said, well, he doesn't know how to write. He can't write, he can't type, and so he needs an assistant.
- [24:49]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [24:49]
Fitz
Meanwhile, like the guy would, he wouldn't even pitch. Like we'd have pitch meetings and he wouldn't, he wouldn't even have an idea. But he lived in Jamie's guest house and said, Jamie said, well, you should be a writer because you're funny. And meanwhile you have like, you know, guys like Chris Spencer that are like super talented. Like. And then what was the guy's name, the Boondocks guy? Carl.
- [25:15]
Ian Edwards
Carl Jones.
- [25:15]
Fitz
Carl Jones, a fucking great writer and.
- [25:18]
Ian Edwards
He'S created so much stuff. And he like. So it's funny, Carl came into to me in Hugh Moore's office and said they're going to shake some stuff up around here, but you two are good. Because everybody's contract, was it a. What was the.
- [25:35]
Fitz
13 weeks?
- [25:36]
Ian Edwards
13 weeks. So then after 13 weeks you get to decide if they're new. So they. So like you said, like some of the writers weren't. So they were gonna like get rid of some of the inexperienced writers when the 13 week contract was up and everybody's contract was up at the same time.
- [25:52]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [25:52]
Ian Edwards
And I had felt good about the shit that I wrote and so did Hugh.
- [25:55]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [25:55]
Ian Edwards
And Carl was like, don't worry, man, you guys are good. Yeah, but they all gonna, you know, exchange some people. And then on the 13th, a week before the 13th day, they called the producers, not Carl, some other people called us into the office and it was like, yeah, man, this is your last week. No. Yeah. Cause remember, you didn't see me after. And then me and Hugh were gone. I mean, Hugh was like, I don't even remember that. I thought we were supposed to.
- [26:25]
Fitz
Damn, you guys were the best writers. Staff writers.
- [26:29]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah.
- [26:31]
Fitz
Hugh Moore used to pitch the wildest shit. He was the kind of guy, like, he would throw some pitchers, throw fastballs up the middle, right. Hugh threw sliders, knuckleballs, stuff that didn't always get across the plate, but when it did, it was like, it was like a killer. You know, he. I haven't heard from that guy in a while. But. But no, it was. It was crazy. And then I come in and it's the first day and we're sitting around the. We're sitting around the. The table and we're pitching on stuff. And I don't know, I don't know half the people, right? So I'm like, so somebody goes, all right, we need. We need somebody who's like a famous person who's like, in the closet, like in the closet gay. And so someone's like, Tom Cruise. Somebody goes, john Travolta? And then I go, wayne Brady. And then everybody goes like, every eyes go wide and people like, quiet. And I go, I go, what the fuck just happened? And then it turns out one of the writers was currently dating Wayne Brady.
- [27:36]
Ian Edwards
She was dating.
- [27:39]
Fitz
And she goes, trust me, he's not gay. I was like, I just. I'm just saying what I heard. I don't. I don't know.
- [27:45]
Ian Edwards
Oh, man.
- [27:45]
Fitz
And to her credit, she was totally cool to me. Except then Wayne Brady came to visit her at work one day. Did you hear about this?
- [27:52]
Ian Edwards
No. I was probably gone by then.
- [27:54]
Fitz
So Wayne comes to the office to visit her one day and. And I'm standing and. And so she's in her office, and I went in to give her something. And then. And then I came out and then he was by the elevator and. And there was nobody around. And then he looks at me and he goes, you know, I was gonna beat your ass. And then I just hear, like, snickering. And it was. Hugh Fink was behind the door, and he heard Wayne Brady threaten to kick my ass. Stop laughing. And then I started laughing, and then Wayne just left. You imagine getting beat up by Wayne Brady. He's a strong guy. He's a dancer.
- [28:32]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, he's a dancer. You can't say this. Things. That doesn't correlate as a. Like being. You have to be strong to be a dancer. But it's not the first thing. He's a strong guy. He's a boxer. He's a strong guy. He's a bodybuilder. He's a strong guy. He's a dancer.
- [28:47]
Fitz
You'd see west side Story, the Sharks and the Jets.
- [28:54]
Ian Edwards
Those dances were tough back then.
- [28:56]
Fitz
And that. That woman, who was a really good writer, she went on to create a show and won an Emmy.
- [29:01]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [29:03]
Fitz
Very good writer.
- [29:03]
Ian Edwards
Right. And then Wayne Brady came out as something sexual. Yeah, yeah.
- [29:09]
Fitz
It wasn't. It wasn't bi, it wasn't homo. It was like it was pan. Maybe pansexual or something.
- [29:19]
Ian Edwards
Something that I think encompassed that included being. It's included dating.
- [29:26]
Fitz
Yeah, man.
- [29:27]
Ian Edwards
What? What? You accused.
- [29:28]
Fitz
Yes.
- [29:29]
Ian Edwards
Or what? You heard the rumors.
- [29:30]
Fitz
You heard.
- [29:31]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's funny.
- [29:34]
Fitz
But then he did that sketch on the Chappelle show where he comes up as a guy, as a gang banger, and that. That broke it open for him. That made everybody go, like before.
- [29:42]
Ian Edwards
Or was that before our show?
- [29:46]
Fitz
Probably before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was a little tougher then.
- [29:50]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [29:51]
Fitz
So anyway, so you got a new special out. Very excited. I haven't seen it because it's not out yet.
- [29:58]
Ian Edwards
I haven't seen it either. No, no, I've seen it too many times.
- [30:02]
Fitz
Pretty sick editing it.
- [30:03]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Hell, yeah.
- [30:04]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [30:04]
Ian Edwards
Like There was some glitches. And in every time it got. We, you know, whenever we do the final edit and we upload it to Vimeo just to look at it.
- [30:17]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [30:17]
Ian Edwards
Like, you have to, like, stare at it and not take your eyes away. You can't just listen to it. You got to listen and watch.
- [30:23]
Fitz
Right.
- [30:24]
Ian Edwards
And I've done it so many times. Like, I had a friend named Paul Alaya. Like, we do sketches and stuff, and he's a comic and.
- [30:34]
Fitz
See the guy that plays your roommate?
- [30:35]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [30:35]
Fitz
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great.
- [30:37]
Ian Edwards
But he has. He's like a good director and shit. So then he just took over, like, watching it, and then he'd be like, I found five glitches. Which is a normal thing when you upload.
- [30:46]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [30:48]
Ian Edwards
But last week he's like, hey, man, I. Listen, they gotta get these glitches out.
- [30:53]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [30:54]
Ian Edwards
Because I can't watch this again.
- [30:55]
Fitz
Right, right.
- [30:57]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. I was like, I feel. That's why I'm asking you to watch it. You're a producer.
- [31:01]
Fitz
Yeah. Yeah.
- [31:02]
Ian Edwards
You gotta watch it. I can't watch that thing.
- [31:04]
Fitz
Oh, man.
- [31:06]
Ian Edwards
It's funny, though. It's funny.
- [31:07]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [31:07]
Ian Edwards
But if you editing your. Yourself.
- [31:10]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [31:10]
Ian Edwards
And watching yourself on a. Like a daily basis.
- [31:15]
Fitz
Yeah. Not only do you dislike, you'll see a bit that you've since done, and you know, you can do it better now. And now you're watching, like, the shell of what the bit became, and now you're locked into that. And you're also looking at your stupid face.
- [31:29]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah.
- [31:30]
Fitz
And you're how old you look, you know, And. And it. And you just. Oh, my God. You just get so sick of it all. But where did you shoot it?
- [31:39]
Ian Edwards
At the Comedy Store in La Jolla.
- [31:41]
Fitz
Oh, dude, that's one of my favorite rooms in the country.
- [31:43]
Ian Edwards
One of my favorite rooms in the country. The Comedy Store. Hard.
- [31:47]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [31:47]
Ian Edwards
And they. They let me shoot it up there, so I appreciate them. And they cooperated. We painted the back wall, got the crew up there.
- [31:54]
Fitz
Really?
- [31:54]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [31:55]
Fitz
Oh, nice. And then the crowds, the San Diego crowds.
- [32:00]
Ian Edwards
Killer state. Just come to have fun.
- [32:02]
Fitz
I don't know what it is. Yeah, they just want to have fun. There's no. Because, like, there's so many political states now or cities and. And San Diego, you know, it's considered conservative, but people that come to clubs tend to be more liberal, so they kind of leave that shit at the door.
- [32:18]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah.
- [32:19]
Fitz
You know, there's none of that, like, you could talk about anything.
- [32:21]
Ian Edwards
They treat it like the beach. They go to the beach to have fun.
- [32:24]
Fitz
Right, right.
- [32:25]
Ian Edwards
And do all the beach shit.
- [32:26]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [32:27]
Ian Edwards
They bring their surfboards or their Nerf boards or their volleyballs, and they're just, like, out there at the beach. And they come to the club.
- [32:32]
Fitz
Yep.
- [32:33]
Ian Edwards
Let's come in Comedy club beach mode.
- [32:37]
Fitz
No. When I see a guy in flip flops in the crowd, I'm like, that guy's here to laugh.
- [32:41]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Yeah.
- [32:41]
Fitz
You know, if I see a guy with a sunburn, he wants to have fun.
- [32:45]
Ian Edwards
A guy with a. With a I own a boat shirt. You know what I mean?
- [32:51]
Fitz
Right, right. Even a golf shirt.
- [32:53]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [32:53]
Fitz
I was thinking about this. Like, golf is the only sport where you wear your uniform when you're not playing the sport.
- [33:01]
Ian Edwards
Hilarious.
- [33:05]
Fitz
Like, you'll see a lacrosse player with, like, a face mask walking down the street.
- [33:09]
Ian Edwards
Unless it's Halloween.
- [33:10]
Fitz
Yeah, right, right. That's their big day. They get to show everybody they play lacrosse. And then. So the special will come out on YouTube.
- [33:19]
Ian Edwards
YouTube on the 23rd.
- [33:21]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [33:22]
Ian Edwards
@ Ian Edwards Stand Up. September.
- [33:24]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [33:25]
Ian Edwards
At Ian Edwards Stand Up. And. Yeah. It's. It's. Oh. So I don't know if I told you this about the special now. So I shot it last year. I shot it last year, and then I was gonna release it early, like in January, and then the fires happened.
- [33:46]
Fitz
Oh, shh.
- [33:47]
Ian Edwards
I was like, you can't.
- [33:48]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [33:49]
Ian Edwards
You can't be like, hey, hey, I know shit is burning. Here's a special.
- [34:00]
Fitz
If you still have a house, I'd like you to sit on your couch and watch this special. No. And then every interview you do around the country, they're gonna be asking you about the fires, and you don't have five minutes of material about the fires.
- [34:11]
Ian Edwards
Now, it's just that. But the fires just also kill the mood of the whole. Like, for me, like, you love California.
- [34:20]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [34:20]
Ian Edwards
Right. And I love California, and I'm from New York, but I'm not one of them New Yorkers. I love New York, too. I love New York hard.
- [34:27]
Fitz
Right.
- [34:28]
Ian Edwards
I paid the money for the title of I'm from New York.
- [34:31]
Fitz
That's right.
- [34:32]
Ian Edwards
Like, you know, I paid the rents out there.
- [34:33]
Fitz
Yep.
- [34:34]
Ian Edwards
You know, I walked the streets out there. But I also feel like just being in la, it's been a good, fun, growth, learning experience. And I've reconnected with people like you and Joe out here.
- [34:47]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [34:48]
Ian Edwards
And just other comics have made a set of new friends. Cause leaving New York, like, we had a good. Or I had a good comedy comic friend base.
- [34:58]
Fitz
Right.
- [34:59]
Ian Edwards
Where we'd Hang out every night, do our shows and hang out every night and just laugh, you know what I mean? And then to come to LA and figure out the same system and be able to get on stage and get writing jobs and make some money and like, so I owe. I feel like I owe a lot to California.
- [35:16]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [35:16]
Ian Edwards
And for it not disappointing me after leaving New York. Yeah. And I appreciate the beach and everything out here. And especially on January 1st of this year, I went to the beach and I went to the Palisades. So seven days later for that shit to be gone.
- [35:35]
Fitz
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- [35:37]
Ian Edwards
Like, wow. That shit just.
- [35:39]
Fitz
Yeah. I don't think people realize it was a blip in the news for the rest of the country. But we're still living with it now.
- [35:43]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, we're still living with it now, you know? So the thing about the special, releasing it now, I want to. I wanted to do something during the fire for the people who suffered, the victims. And I was like, let me release this special and all the money that it makes from Views or AdSense. Like, I'll donate to a charity that helps victims of the fire. So I don't make any.
- [36:10]
Fitz
That's what you're doing with this special?
- [36:11]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, that's what I'm doing with this special.
- [36:12]
Fitz
Get out of here.
- [36:13]
Ian Edwards
100%. Yeah.
- [36:14]
Fitz
What's the charity?
- [36:15]
Ian Edwards
I don't know, but I'm not collecting money. So if anybody has an idea, like, because I know there's some top heavy, like, what do they call those charities where all the money goes into the administration. So like, listen, just watch this special and I'll do it on. I'll do it like, I'll prove it. I'll show it like, I'll make a video, show people how much it make.
- [36:44]
Fitz
Right.
- [36:44]
Ian Edwards
And like, if you. There's a legit charity, you know what I mean? Well, let me know and I'll send the money.
- [36:51]
Fitz
Yeah, I think that that's good. If people have ideas about a great charity, send them to. Send them to Ian. What's, what's a good contact email for people? Do you have like one for your website or something?
- [37:01]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, at. Ian Edwards. Ian Edwards, Stand up. It's a new email I just made Ian Edwards standupmail.com.
- [37:10]
Fitz
Okay. Yeah, send him in if he has idea, but put it in the comments.
- [37:14]
Ian Edwards
Under the special too.
- [37:15]
Fitz
Yeah, right. That's actually a great idea. But here's the thing. You can do a donate tab on.
- [37:19]
Ian Edwards
Your YouTube page, but I don't want to touch like. And then. So. But people can Donate to the charity. Donate to the charity.
- [37:27]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [37:28]
Ian Edwards
Like, I. I'll do that, too. Like, but I don't want. I want to give whatever money I make from the thing to attract.
- [37:36]
Fitz
That's beautiful. I love that.
- [37:37]
Ian Edwards
So the donate. I can put the donate thing there, too, but I don't feel like it's me giving. You feel me? Like, I want to actually give.
- [37:46]
Fitz
Right, right, right.
- [37:46]
Ian Edwards
Like, I don't want to.
- [37:47]
Fitz
Yeah, but look at it this way. I did a donate tab to me on my special, and I made, like, 10 grand.
- [37:52]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [37:53]
Fitz
So if you do that and you give the money away, that's 10 grand that would have been in your pocket.
- [37:57]
Ian Edwards
All right, so what you're saying do that too, and then do that.
- [38:00]
Fitz
And then also with YouTube, as, you know, the more views you get, the more ad revenue you get from the commercials they run on your thing. So then you'll make whatever on that. And that's. That's a lot of money.
- [38:12]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, I'll send that to the charity.
- [38:13]
Fitz
So you do it, and then you paid for the special yourself. Yeah, so that. So that. That's also a donation.
- [38:19]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, but it's not a donation unless we people watch it and make the get. Well, you get to that point.
- [38:26]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. All right. Well, that's beautiful. You're a good person.
- [38:29]
Ian Edwards
I mean, I'm trying, bro.
- [38:31]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [38:31]
Ian Edwards
There's too much deficit. What's it. What's it?
- [38:33]
Fitz
Divisiveness.
- [38:34]
Ian Edwards
Divisiveness.
- [38:35]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [38:35]
Ian Edwards
In the world.
- [38:35]
Fitz
Right.
- [38:36]
Ian Edwards
Like, and I'm a very hypocritical or critical person.
- [38:40]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [38:41]
Ian Edwards
Like, But I'm like, you ain't doing nothing right to help nobody.
- [38:46]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [38:46]
Ian Edwards
So what are you gonna do?
- [38:47]
Fitz
I know.
- [38:48]
Ian Edwards
Instead of just sit back and just be like, look at that. Look at that.
- [38:51]
Fitz
Well, that's why, like, I try to not talk politics on my podcast, like, because I have one called Sunday Papers. You know, Mike Gibbons, my buddy Mike Gibbons. Yeah. So we do that together, and we try to keep it. It's about the news, but we usually don't talk politics if we can. You know, we try to avoid it. You know, we do stupid stories. But then, like, when the Kimmel thing happened last week, I was finally like, I can't not talk about the fact that the First Amendment is completely being you know, abused in this country, and that's the backbone of our democracy. Because once the government controls the media and the message that people are getting, they no longer have truth to. To help inform their decisions any longer. And you can Control them. So I spoke out about that and oh, my God, so many people. I'm not. I'm not watching your podcast anymore. I just dropped you and I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, I guess there's two sides to every story, but I don't see the other side of, you know, forcing a show off the air because it went counter to what the president thinks.
- [39:51]
Ian Edwards
Right, right.
- [39:51]
Fitz
You know, anyway, so I don't want to get back and we'll lose even more followers.
- [39:55]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, man, we need people to watch this.
- [39:57]
Fitz
I know, I know. And watch this. And what's the name of the podcast?
- [40:01]
Ian Edwards
The special Untitled. See, you're.
- [40:06]
Fitz
Wait, are you gonna keep it untitled?
- [40:07]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [40:11]
Fitz
Is it gonna be starring anonymous? Yeah, yeah.
- [40:14]
Ian Edwards
I'm the only. I mean, I'm pretty anonymous. Comically, to most people. There you go.
- [40:23]
Fitz
And then you're going to go on Joe Rogan this week.
- [40:25]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, I'm going on Rogan this week.
- [40:26]
Fitz
Okay, that'll be good. Yeah, yeah. That'll reach the people.
- [40:29]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [40:30]
Fitz
And then who else you doing? I know you've done everybody. You've been on Marin's, you've been on Pete Holmes, you've been on Joey Diaz.
- [40:37]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. But I got him. I gotta get back on all of those.
- [40:40]
Fitz
You gotta do them all.
- [40:41]
Ian Edwards
I gotta.
- [40:41]
Fitz
Are you booking all that yourself?
- [40:43]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Which is like, terrible. Like, yeah, I'm tough. I'm terrible at reaching out to people.
- [40:48]
Fitz
Yeah. Yeah.
- [40:48]
Ian Edwards
So I haven't even really.
- [40:49]
Fitz
I know I reached out to you to do this podcast.
- [40:52]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Yeah. I barely text Rogan. I was like, I don't want to ask him.
- [40:55]
Fitz
Right.
- [40:56]
Ian Edwards
You know what I mean? But I was like, I got to now. It's good that I'm doing it this way because then now I'm not thinking about me.
- [41:04]
Fitz
Right.
- [41:05]
Ian Edwards
So I'm texting people to watch it, to get the money from the views, to donate. So I guess I gotta not look at it as, like, me asking.
- [41:16]
Fitz
Well, you're asking for the people with burned out homes in the Palisades, right? That's how you got to think about it.
- [41:21]
Ian Edwards
Listen, I'm trying to help rich white people get back on their feet, y'. All. But Altadena, I mean, these are the.
- [41:30]
Fitz
Guys that hire you on their TV shows, right?
- [41:32]
Ian Edwards
They. They need to get back on their feet and hire me. You're right.
- [41:36]
Fitz
It's just.
- [41:36]
Ian Edwards
You know what? This is for me. It. This is for me. I saved the Palisades.
- [41:44]
Fitz
Trickle down economics.
- [41:45]
Ian Edwards
Trickle down economics. Yeah.
- [41:49]
Fitz
Yeah. Well, wait, and then the other show we Wrote on Crashing with Pete Holmes.
- [41:55]
Ian Edwards
Oh, yeah.
- [41:56]
Fitz
Which was. Were you there for the first year?
- [41:59]
Ian Edwards
I was there Season two. We did three seasons.
- [42:03]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah, I was there two and three. I think you were there two and three.
- [42:07]
Ian Edwards
But then we did, like.
- [42:08]
Fitz
Then we broke stories for a fourth season.
- [42:09]
Ian Edwards
For a fourth season.
- [42:10]
Fitz
So we wrote scripts for a fourth season that never got shot.
- [42:14]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [42:14]
Fitz
So if there's anybody out there with deep pockets that misses crashing, we got the scripts. We just need you to pay for the sets and the actors.
- [42:22]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [42:24]
Fitz
And I felt like that was a good season, but the problem is the show kind of like, Judd kind of closed the show out. Like, he kind of saw it. Like, British shows have restraint. British series, they'll be like, all right, here's a story. Eight episodes, three seasons. You're kind of done. You're done with the story. The US like Two and a Half Men goes on for 10 years, you know, and so I think Judd had the restraint to go like, we just told a really good story, and it feels like it wrapped it. We wrapped up everything, and we were all like, no, no, no, there's another season out of this one. So we. So we wrote the scripts. But then I think. I think Judd, in the end, was.
- [43:00]
Ian Edwards
Like, no, let's think it was Judd or hbo. Because who brought us back to. To create?
- [43:08]
Fitz
HBO did.
- [43:08]
Ian Edwards
For season four.
- [43:09]
Fitz
HBO did.
- [43:10]
Ian Edwards
HBO did.
- [43:11]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [43:12]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [43:12]
Fitz
But I don't know. I don't know who shut it down, but it left me one. One credit short. You know, in the Writers Guild, if you get seven. If you get qualified for health coverage. 17 years. Doesn't have to be in a row any. 17 years. 17 years, then you get coverage for free for the rest of your life.
- [43:28]
Ian Edwards
That's the last Writer's Guild job.
- [43:31]
Fitz
That was my last writer skills.
- [43:32]
Ian Edwards
Jack, get out of here.
- [43:33]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [43:34]
Ian Edwards
Damn.
- [43:34]
Fitz
I know.
- [43:35]
Ian Edwards
We gotta get you. We gotta help these people in the Palisades to get you back.
- [43:40]
Fitz
Let me tell you something. So I'm so. I have 16 out of 17 years. I need one more credit. So if kratching got picked up, I would be. Right Now, I'm paying 40 grand.
- [43:49]
Ian Edwards
I'd be eating recklessly. Right?
- [43:50]
Fitz
That's right. You'd be like, I'd have ramen with shrimp, not with chicken ramen.
- [43:54]
Ian Edwards
Right, right. You'd be eating candy bars right now because you could afford the health bill. You'd be like, this is on. This is on the doctors. It's on the gill baby.
- [44:04]
Fitz
I enjoy some diabetes now.
- [44:06]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [44:07]
Fitz
But no. So I need one more year of health coverage and I'm out pitching a script next month.
- [44:12]
Ian Edwards
All right.
- [44:13]
Fitz
And we'll see if somebody buys that, then I'll be in. I'll be in good shape.
- [44:16]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [44:16]
Fitz
Otherwise you're gonna have to pull me out of one of the shows you're on every six months.
- [44:20]
Ian Edwards
All right, bet. Don't do it. I'm worried. Like, once you told me that, I was like, have I done 17 years? And I'm afraid to see how short I might fall. Of the 17 years. Well.
- [44:31]
Fitz
Because the cable ones don't count. This gotta be a network WG show. No Crashing does.
- [44:36]
Ian Edwards
Oh, okay.
- [44:37]
Fitz
No, but it's gotta be.
- [44:38]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [44:38]
Fitz
You know, the ones you get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.
- [44:40]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, I've done like some. Like.
- [44:43]
Fitz
You were.
- [44:44]
Ian Edwards
I've done. I've done like some mtv, some bet.
- [44:48]
Fitz
Yeah, that stuff's not gonna count. But you did Blackish. Your Blackish counts. You were on.
- [44:56]
Ian Edwards
Shit. Gerard Show.
- [44:58]
Fitz
Gerard Carmichael Show. That was network.
- [45:01]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [45:01]
Fitz
I bet you're pretty close.
- [45:03]
Ian Edwards
I might be closer than I think, but I just like. It's like my age. I don't think about it.
- [45:07]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [45:08]
Ian Edwards
You know what I mean?
- [45:08]
Fitz
Right.
- [45:09]
Ian Edwards
I was like, let me just keep trying to get on some shows and get some help.
- [45:13]
Fitz
I mean, look, you're 31. I think you're gonna. You got a lot of writing ahead of you.
- [45:16]
Ian Edwards
True, true. No doubt.
- [45:20]
Fitz
How old are the women that you date usually?
- [45:25]
Ian Edwards
At least 30 something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [45:27]
Fitz
What's the oldest they are?
- [45:30]
Ian Edwards
30 something.
- [45:39]
Fitz
Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah. Because it's funny, like, some comics, they really do date. Not just comics, but like, I got friends from college that get divorced, you know, I'm 59. All of a sudden, they're dating 29 year old women. I'm like, dude, what do you. What do you talk to them about.
- [45:56]
Ian Edwards
You know, what do you think they got divorced for?
- [46:01]
Fitz
Right, Right.
- [46:02]
Ian Edwards
To date somebody your age.
- [46:04]
Fitz
Yeah, I know. Which would be easy.
- [46:06]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [46:07]
Fitz
I mean, 59 year old women, are you kidding me? In this town, nobody. Nobody even looks at you.
- [46:13]
Ian Edwards
Nobody looks. Nobody looks at you.
- [46:15]
Fitz
They don't look at you.
- [46:16]
Ian Edwards
Right. They don't look at who? Don't look at who?
- [46:19]
Fitz
A male 59 year old does not look at a female 59 year old.
- [46:24]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. I feel like some 59 year old women are hot.
- [46:27]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [46:28]
Ian Edwards
So they can get younger dudes.
- [46:30]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah.
- [46:31]
Ian Edwards
And.
- [46:32]
Fitz
Yeah, well, Annie's boyfriend is younger than her and then.
- [46:38]
Ian Edwards
She's not 59. No, it's just cleared out.
- [46:41]
Fitz
She just turned 40, though.
- [46:42]
Ian Edwards
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [46:44]
Fitz
Wouldn't you thought she was like 10 years younger than that?
- [46:47]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [46:47]
Fitz
She shoots her podcast in the studio. Yeah, but no, there's another comic whose boyfriend is way younger. I can't remember who it is, but female comics can pull young cock. Yeah.
- [47:01]
Ian Edwards
Why'd you have to say it so porny? Young cock.
- [47:04]
Fitz
I'm trying to keep the show edgy. I want the podcast to be edgy.
- [47:07]
Ian Edwards
I feel you. I feel you.
- [47:10]
Fitz
You were. You did my podcast many times. But you remember my old office? My little office in Venice?
- [47:15]
Ian Edwards
That. That was that or I did the one right across from this cloverfield.
- [47:21]
Fitz
Yeah, no, that was it.
- [47:22]
Ian Edwards
That was it. You call it Venice? Yeah, I guess it was.
- [47:25]
Fitz
Yeah. That's Venice. Maybe Mar Vista.
- [47:27]
Ian Edwards
You would know better than me.
- [47:28]
Fitz
It's either Venice or Mar Vista. Yeah, but that was. That was a small little rundown place, but it had. It had good vibes, you know, I spent a lot of time in that office.
- [47:39]
Ian Edwards
Hilarious.
- [47:40]
Fitz
It was like 15 by 10. And I. During the. During COVID man, when everybody was trapped with their families and going crazy and drinking too much, I'd be like, I gotta go to work. And I would just go to that office. I had my Lazy Boy. I had my flat screen tv, I had a coffee maker and a mini fridge.
- [47:57]
Ian Edwards
Does your wife listen to this podcast?
- [47:59]
Fitz
No.
- [47:59]
Ian Edwards
No, thank God. So she won't find out?
- [48:01]
Fitz
Not once. She's never listened.
- [48:03]
Ian Edwards
Word.
- [48:04]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [48:04]
Ian Edwards
Does that bug you?
- [48:06]
Fitz
Not at all. I love it. She comes and sees me do stand up once or twice a year.
- [48:10]
Ian Edwards
Right? Yeah. She's over. It's been. She's been. I've been together so long, it's not over.
- [48:13]
Fitz
She was never into it in the first place. That's why I love her, you know, because here's the thing, like if you get a 32 year old woman. Right, okay. How'd you get her.
- [48:26]
Ian Edwards
Charm? Charisma. No, I'm just kidding. She saw me do stand up.
- [48:29]
Fitz
Exactly. So I like that. My wife doesn't like me because of the stand up.
- [48:35]
Ian Edwards
Did she? Where did you guys meet?
- [48:37]
Fitz
The Friars Club in New York.
- [48:38]
Ian Edwards
The Friars Club in New York.
- [48:39]
Fitz
Yeah. And so we had a mutual friend who introduced us. I said to the mutual friend, I said, I'm gonna marry your friend someday. And then I proposed at the Friars Club three years later in the same room.
- [48:50]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. You guys. You guys have a really romantic story.
- [48:53]
Fitz
Yeah, it's good to have a good start story. You know, I talked to this couple on stage this weekend. I Was at the Denver Comedy Works. And I said. I said, so, how long you guys been together? And they go, well, we've been together for six months. And I said, why are you hesitating? And she goes, well, we were together before for like, eight years. No, no, no. For like a year. Eight years ago. And I said, well, what happened? She goes, he goes, I woke up in a Vegas hotel room and she was gone. Like, she just got up and left.
- [49:25]
Ian Edwards
Oh, shit.
- [49:26]
Fitz
Because she was, like, newly divorced, and I guess they'd gone out for a year, and she realized that she needed. I go, so you needed to get with some more guys.
- [49:33]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [49:33]
Fitz
Because if. Because her husband had been her first. She lost her virginity to her husband, then she went straight to this guy. I said, so you went out and you got laid with a bunch of. She goes, yep. I go, how do you feel about that series? Like, not good. But they were trying to get it back together.
- [49:47]
Ian Edwards
Trying to get it back together.
- [49:48]
Fitz
So that's not like a story you can tell your kids, you know?
- [49:51]
Ian Edwards
That sounded romantic as fuck to me.
- [49:57]
Fitz
You ever been engaged?
- [49:58]
Ian Edwards
Nah, nah. Never been engaged.
- [50:00]
Fitz
You ever live with somebody?
- [50:03]
Ian Edwards
Nah, nah.
- [50:04]
Fitz
You ever say I love you to somebody?
- [50:05]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the time.
- [50:07]
Fitz
All the time. That's your go to move.
- [50:10]
Ian Edwards
No, it's not. When I love you, I love you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, people. People feel like. So here's a revelation I had when I was, like, 7 years old. And so as a kid, I'm watching TV. I'm watching TV, and I see a bunch of friends sitting down at a dinner party in this movie. And they're eating, they're drinking wine, and they're talking, and they're having fun.
- [50:42]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [50:43]
Ian Edwards
And I'm young, so to me, they're old.
- [50:46]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [50:46]
Ian Edwards
You know, but they might have just been in their 30s.
- [50:49]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [50:49]
Ian Edwards
You know? So I was like, that's what I want for the rest of my life. You know what I mean? That's what I want for the rest of my life. And I said that. And it was a moment in my young brain.
- [51:00]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [51:01]
Ian Edwards
And then so I was like, I don't know. I just. At that moment, I don't want to be married. I just want to hang out with my friends, eat, drink and laugh. Right.
- [51:10]
Fitz
Right.
- [51:11]
Ian Edwards
I was like, I didn't think you could achieve that in a marriage, but I wanted to do that every night.
- [51:18]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [51:18]
Ian Edwards
And then. So then later on, I'm doing comedy. And even, like 15 or 10 years ago, I realized that's what I'm Doing.
- [51:32]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [51:32]
Ian Edwards
What I saw in that movie.
- [51:33]
Fitz
Right.
- [51:34]
Ian Edwards
Because after every comedy show, all the comics go get. Go to a diner in New York or somewhere.
- [51:41]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [51:42]
Ian Edwards
Or Swing is here or Fred62s. And we just eat, laugh, and just drink tea, coffee, or alcohol. But there's no. You don't have to go home. And to me, that's family.
- [52:01]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [52:02]
Ian Edwards
To me, I did what I thought about. Or that struck me, like, when I was, like, seven years old, I just. Just never felt like my sister has kids. My sisters have kids. Like, I have family.
- [52:15]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [52:15]
Ian Edwards
I have cousins. I have my mom.
- [52:17]
Fitz
Right.
- [52:18]
Ian Edwards
I have a brother. But I don't know. I just.
- [52:21]
Fitz
But I see that with you. I see your relationships, and they're deeper than most people's relationships are. You know, like, I see you with, like. Like Sarah Mello.
- [52:30]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [52:30]
Fitz
You know, like, I'll see you guys after the show at west side. You guys will go out and hang and. And I feel like you have, like, an ease and, like, a deepness to your friendships, which I consider myself lucky enough to be one of them.
- [52:45]
Ian Edwards
Oh, yeah, for sure.
- [52:46]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [52:46]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. And then, yeah, you can get out the house. Like, even Faheem the other night, I hung out with him the other night, but then last night, he was like, you want to go eat? And to be honest, the pandemic is the only thing that kind of, like, make me stop going out eating as much as I used to.
- [53:04]
Fitz
Right, right.
- [53:05]
Ian Edwards
I know. There's just some type of a shift where we. We weren't doing it for, like, two years, so then it was like, I just got used to being home after that.
- [53:16]
Fitz
Yeah, I know. I watch way more TV now than I used to.
- [53:20]
Ian Edwards
Right. Yeah, yeah, same here. Here's the crazy shit. A week before the pandemic, I came in the crib from a shows and eating with a bunch of comics at 3am and I was like, it's 3am I'm gonna watch two hours of TV and go to bed at 5am and I was like, man, this is great. It was like, I don't see this ever changing. And then the pandemic happened, and I was in front of my TV at 8am Like a Midwestern family, man, just watching whatever everybody else was watching at the same time everybody else was watching it. And I was like, you know, I don't mind this.
- [54:06]
Fitz
Yeah, no, it's not bad when you're comfortable with yourself. Like, when I'm on the road, I have good weeks and bad weeks. Like, this past weekend was not a good week. And I think it's because I don't work much in the summer, you know, because you know what it's like. You go to a club and nobody shows up, and then the club owner goes, well, you can't draw.
- [54:25]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [54:26]
Fitz
And so I usually don't work in the summer. I did a little bit, but. But this week in Denver, started my fall tour, which is like, you know, I go away Thursday, come back on Sunday. But I think because it was the first week of it, I felt really lonely and I felt really depressed and the shows didn't suffer, the shows get better because that's the only time of the day I feel alive and I feel excited and otherwise it's just, you know, I'm sitting in the hotel just like fucking counting time, you know, and. But then once I get in the groove, like I'm in Connecticut next weekend, then I'm in Alaska the week after that. Like, I'll get into that. I just. It's just, it's transition.
- [55:11]
Ian Edwards
Getting back into the road mode.
- [55:14]
Fitz
Yeah. Road mode is like you have to accept time and you have to accept your own voices and. Which means I gotta meditate, I gotta work out.
- [55:25]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [55:25]
Fitz
I gotta try to read, I gotta reach out to people instead of shutting down. Sometimes I shut down on the road.
- [55:31]
Ian Edwards
All right, I'll hit you when you're on the road.
- [55:33]
Fitz
Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially Alaska. Last time I went to Alaska, the club owners like, now you come up, you know, we're gonna take you out. We're gonna see the northern lights blue. I get up there and one guy was. There was two guys that run the club. It's like, it's actually like three different clubs in Fairbanks. One guy goes out of town and the other guy's like, oh, we're getting ready to move. I fucking sat in a hotel room in Fairbanks. I didn't see four days and it's dark out early. It was so depressing. So I'm going back in two weeks and I already said to them, I'm not coming unless you guys line. I want to see the itinerary. I want to be on an Iditarod. I want to be ice free fishing. I don't give a shit.
- [56:13]
Ian Edwards
I'm going to kill a polar bear. We riding polar bears?
- [56:17]
Fitz
Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to come home wearing a bear skin for this trip with salmon in my carry on luggage.
- [56:24]
Ian Edwards
Hilarious. So still flapping?
- [56:26]
Fitz
Yeah, I wanted flapping. I want to. I want an Eskimo chasing me, going, that's my fish.
- [56:31]
Ian Edwards
That's my dinner.
- [56:34]
Fitz
But you got road work. Oh, you got, you got. You're writing on the show now. What show are you writing on?
- [56:39]
Ian Edwards
On writing on Survival of the Thickest. That's a Michelle show. Buteau show. I'm terrible at Michelle Buteau show on Netflix. This is the third and final season. It's been a really fun, good run. She's a hilarious, great comic and actress and just having fun with the writers. Some really, really good crew. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [57:04]
Fitz
Anyone I know?
- [57:06]
Ian Edwards
Solomon? Georgie.
- [57:07]
Fitz
Oh, I love him. Yeah, yeah. Her or him?
- [57:10]
Ian Edwards
Him.
- [57:10]
Fitz
Okay.
- [57:11]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. He doesn't. Yeah, he is. He doesn't, he doesn't. I don't think.
- [57:15]
Fitz
I think after 9 o' clock at night it's her. Yeah, but super funny dude and very creative. And then, and then. So they decided already. They said three seasons were out.
- [57:29]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, Netflix is like three.
- [57:32]
Fitz
Okay.
- [57:32]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [57:33]
Fitz
What's the name of the show?
- [57:34]
Ian Edwards
Survival at the Thickest.
- [57:36]
Fitz
What does that mean?
- [57:38]
Ian Edwards
It's based off a book. She wrote a book about her life about doing comedy and meeting her boyfriend who became her husband and the trials and tribulation of trying to have kids.
- [57:49]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [57:50]
Ian Edwards
And so the show is about her catching her boyfriend cheating.
- [57:57]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [57:58]
Ian Edwards
And he. She has. She moves out and he had a great life for them. And she was a aspiring stylist.
- [58:07]
Fitz
Uh huh.
- [58:07]
Ian Edwards
So then she has to like figure out life at her age like from the beginning. Almost kind of like a crashing of.
- [58:17]
Fitz
That happened 20 years later. Okay, right, right, okay.
- [58:21]
Ian Edwards
She finds an apartment in Brooklyn and develops a whole community of friends.
- [58:26]
Fitz
Right.
- [58:27]
Ian Edwards
Goes on the journey to become like a stylish inter designer.
- [58:31]
Fitz
And is this an in person writing job?
- [58:33]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, it's half and half.
- [58:35]
Fitz
Oh. Cause I know there was a while where it was just.
- [58:37]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah. The first season was all on Zoom.
- [58:40]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [58:41]
Ian Edwards
There's some shows where I never met the writers.
- [58:46]
Fitz
Uh huh.
- [58:47]
Ian Edwards
I ran into one writer and he's like, hey man, we wrote on so and so. I was like, ah, shit, my bad. I never saw you in person before. I've only seen you from here up. So seeing the totality of you threw me. He's like, hey, Ian, we wrote on so and so for like a year. And I said, mike, I didn't. I've never seen you out of this, bro. Seen you like this for like a year.
- [59:14]
Fitz
Was it. How did his body measure up to what you imagined it to be? Was it bigger or smaller?
- [59:20]
Ian Edwards
It wasn't even his body that threw me. Yeah, it's his face with a body three dimensional.
- [59:25]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah, right.
- [59:27]
Ian Edwards
Seeing him in 3D threw me. Cause I should have remembered the face, but I ain't never seen that face, like, with arms.
- [59:35]
Fitz
No, it's like when people see a mug shot and then they recognize a person in a crowd. It's like, I have no idea. Yeah, I went to West Palm Beach, Florida, and I did a show. And then this woman comes up to me after the show. And she looks familiar, but I don't. I'm not really sure. Maybe I've seen. Maybe she's come seen me before. And I just recognize her because she bought a pin from. I sell pins after the show. I should have bought one for you. And she go. I go. She goes, hey, it's Cheryl. And I was like, hey, Cheryl. And she goes, you don't recognize me? I go, no, I don't. She's like, I was your therapist for a year during the pandemic. I was like, oh, shit. She was like, I got her on betterhelp, you know, betterhelp.com. i got her on betterhelp.
- [60:28]
Ian Edwards
You used to therapies with her from your office to get away from. With your family.
- [60:31]
Fitz
Yes.
- [60:32]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [60:33]
Fitz
And I did not. I mean, as soon as she said it, I was like, oh, yeah. But like, you know, I think maybe.
- [60:38]
Ian Edwards
Because I would have been like, this is unprofessional.
- [60:40]
Fitz
It was unprofessional.
- [60:42]
Ian Edwards
You know what I'm saying? You're not supposed to approach us in the wild.
- [60:45]
Fitz
No, I'm not. I mean, this is free range comedy.
- [60:48]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, yeah.
- [60:50]
Fitz
That was weird. And also, she was kind of hot, like, you know, on the zoom. Like, you know, I think they call it transference is when you start to have feelings for your therapist and therapy. You start to. Because. Because they're actually shutting up and listening to you.
- [61:03]
Ian Edwards
You start getting attracted to them, attracted to somebody, listening.
- [61:09]
Fitz
So I was like, you know, so I was always like, you know, I was in like a crush on her, but I was always like, wow. You know, I was like, happy. I'd be happy to do the therapy. I'd be happy to talk to her. Yeah. And so then I saw in person and it was like, I didn't feel that at all, Right. I just felt like invaded. I felt like she caught me off guard.
- [61:31]
Ian Edwards
She knows all your personal shit and she comes in a on unlicensed area.
- [61:38]
Fitz
Right.
- [61:39]
Ian Edwards
So like. And you only know how to talk to her like a therapist. What are you supposed to do now? Talk to her like a regular human being.
- [61:46]
Fitz
Yeah, right, right. She' I really enjoyed the show, and I was like, thank you. But it brought up a lot of childhood stuff for me. Just now I start crying while I'm selling my pins.
- [61:55]
Ian Edwards
Hilarious. You should have went home with her and laid on her couch and she's sitting in the chair. Is that considered cheating?
- [62:03]
Fitz
Yeah. Right, right. Can I go back to your place? Oh, you wanna have sex? No, I just wanna. Really. I wanna have in person. Have you done therapy?
- [62:12]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [62:12]
Fitz
In person or over the zoom?
- [62:14]
Ian Edwards
In person.
- [62:15]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [62:15]
Ian Edwards
Like six times.
- [62:16]
Fitz
Six times?
- [62:17]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [62:17]
Fitz
What's the longest you ever went for six times? Oh, you mean six visits.
- [62:22]
Ian Edwards
Six visits.
- [62:23]
Fitz
Oh, I think I'm at six different doctors. Six visits and you feel like you pretty much figured it out.
- [62:28]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. She wasn't helping me come up with no material.
- [62:31]
Fitz
That is the best place to get material.
- [62:33]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Yeah. She was not a good writing partner.
- [62:36]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [62:36]
Ian Edwards
This is not, you know, Howard Stern. Whole career was. Was. Was getting stuff from his childhood by talking to his therapist. So I was like, if I'm gonna go to a therapist, we better come up with some huge bits.
- [62:50]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah. I don't need a whole routine every time, but at least one or two bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I came up with some therapy, for sure. You know, I would. I'd come out of therapy and I'd always sit down and I would, like, kind of journal what we just talked about, because I forget everything otherwise. And there was definitely some. There was some good, good childhood stuff that I came up with out of that. I gotta go back. You went six times. You never, like. You never feel like, God, I need some help.
- [63:18]
Ian Edwards
No, I mean, you know, some black people just be like, yeah, fuck it.
- [63:22]
Fitz
Right.
- [63:22]
Ian Edwards
You know, I'm one of them.
- [63:24]
Fitz
Like, Right.
- [63:29]
Ian Edwards
Made it this far. Yeah.
- [63:30]
Fitz
Right. I don't need to be diagnosed as black.
- [63:32]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [63:33]
Fitz
She's gonna figure that out before the first meeting.
- [63:36]
Ian Edwards
Let me knock on wood. If something traumatic happened.
- [63:39]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [63:39]
Ian Edwards
I'd probably go, yeah, but.
- [63:41]
Fitz
So you haven't had anything traumatic in your life? Luckily, your father never hit you.
- [63:45]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. You call that trauma? Not to be stereotypical, but yeah, that's the shit some white people consider. Trauma is my baseline.
- [64:01]
Fitz
Yeah. We got a very low threshold for what's trauma.
- [64:04]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [64:04]
Fitz
Yeah, I know. I guess it depends on how you get hit, too.
- [64:09]
Ian Edwards
With a belt?
- [64:10]
Fitz
Yeah, I got the belt.
- [64:11]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, you got the belt now.
- [64:13]
Fitz
I got the belt.
- [64:13]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. But I figured. I don't know, I always thought, yeah, like, I get it now, and I understand. You know, what? You know, people watching this might think. But I was like, I feel like if I wasn't disciplined, like, I wouldn't like, be live the. Pretty much besides comedy, straight and narrow life I lead now.
- [64:40]
Fitz
Right. And plus gave me a little bit of edge.
- [64:42]
Ian Edwards
Edge. And also, like, even I went to school in Jamaica. Yeah, right. Like, the teachers beat you. No, straight up, fam.
- [64:50]
Fitz
Really?
- [64:51]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. And then if you were, like, a repeat offender, like, and if you had a female teacher, they'd either get the principal or that there's always, like, a notorious male teacher, like a designated hitter that, like, his beatings are legendary. And they'd go get him to come to your class to deal with you. You know what I'm saying?
- [65:17]
Fitz
And it's Jamaica. So they don't hit you, they just kick you?
- [65:20]
Ian Edwards
No, no.
- [65:20]
Fitz
Like a soccer ball.
- [65:21]
Ian Edwards
No, they got belts. Or like, they got, like, a leather.
- [65:24]
Fitz
Belt in front of the class. Would they do it?
- [65:25]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, everybody got jazz whooped in front of. Like, there's two beating stories. Like, I used to go to school with this kid named Shane. He lived across the street from me. And in the morning, you gotta have your homework. You know what I'm saying?
- [65:41]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [65:42]
Ian Edwards
That kicks off the day.
- [65:43]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [65:44]
Ian Edwards
Like, in the morning, there's a people sitting down that did their homework. And then there's the people in line to get their ass whooped.
- [65:51]
Fitz
No shit.
- [65:52]
Ian Edwards
If they didn't do their homework.
- [65:53]
Fitz
Really?
- [65:54]
Ian Edwards
Every morning, Shane is like, shane, I saw you the night before, bro, on your veranda. Why didn't you do your homework? Like, I'm sitting down. We walk to school together. Why are we living these two different lives? Like, Shane would be in the line getting his hand, maybe. Was that Shane? I think it was Shane.
- [66:12]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [66:13]
Ian Edwards
Then there's. Here's the other story. So you start the day off with an ass whooping.
- [66:18]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [66:18]
Ian Edwards
If you didn't do your homework. I'd always just do my homework. And then there was. My teacher was a banker. So every Wednesday the school would go banking. So that means your parents would give you some money. And the school opened up a bank account for all the kids. And then you'd give the teacher the money. And you have your bank book and they write it in and then they take it to the bank.
- [66:44]
Fitz
Actual money.
- [66:45]
Ian Edwards
Actual money. But it's like. Like pennies. It's like a dollar or whatever.
- [66:49]
Fitz
Just to teach you how to do it.
- [66:50]
Ian Edwards
Just to teach you how to do it.
- [66:51]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [66:51]
Ian Edwards
And then you come back and give you a bank. But they. So some teachers had to go to the bank. And our teacher was one of the Ones that went to the bank. So then we'd either have a substitute, I forgot how it went, or she'd leave a certain amount of work for you to do. And when she comes back from the bank after, like at like 1pm or whatever, it's look just like the morning, like if you don't have the work done.
- [67:16]
Fitz
Yeah, right.
- [67:17]
Ian Edwards
It's take them licks again, right? So again, let's just say it was Shane.
- [67:26]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [67:27]
Ian Edwards
So Shane didn't do the goddamn work, Right? So the teacher's like, bam. You know, you have to hold out your hand. Take it. Hold out your hand with a belt. She's got the belt.
- [67:38]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah.
- [67:39]
Ian Edwards
And then sometimes people will be like, it'll be the first one hurt so much. Or the anticipation of it. You like pull your hand and then you put it back. And if you make her do this and miss like a certain amount, then it's all over you. It's full body contact. You know what I'm saying? And it's full body contact, right? So Shane is like, bah, bah. And then he pulls it. He pulls it. So then she's pissed. So she's like, full body. So Shane backs up and they go behind the blackboard. Like they go behind the blackboard, they disappear. You see the top of her belt coming and then you see her coming backwards like this. And then Shane is coming back and he's got his belt out his pants. Oh, no way. A cheese packet. He had enough, Took his belt out, beat the teacher. It was like a. It was like a swashbuckler. Old school pirate movie fan.
- [68:50]
Fitz
Both their pants around their ankles because they have no belts on. Oh my God. Can you imagine doing that in a U. S. School?
- [68:58]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [68:59]
Fitz
Even if you threatened to do that, you would be fired.
- [69:02]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [69:03]
Fitz
Do you think they still do it like that in Jamaica?
- [69:05]
Ian Edwards
I got a check.
- [69:06]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [69:06]
Ian Edwards
But yeah, I was, I was trying.
- [69:09]
Fitz
Hilarious. Jesus.
- [69:10]
Ian Edwards
I wasn't trying to get no ass whoopings. I got a few here and there.
- [69:14]
Fitz
Yeah. I remember one time my father told me he took his belt off and he told me to put out my hand. So I put out my hands and he hit it. And my dad was 6 foot 2 from the Bronx, he was a tough guy and he slapped my hand and it didn't hurt that bad, so I looked him right in the eye and I put my hand out again and he goes, turn it over. So I turn my hand over where the bones are. And then he hit that and I yowled like a dog. And he did that a few times.
- [69:43]
Ian Edwards
Why did you look at him, so defiant like you, Denzel Washington from Glory. Just act like it hurt.
- [69:53]
Fitz
I know. I should have been like a WWE guy, you know, falling down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I had a defined attitude. I didn't like anybody telling you what to do. Yeah, yeah. Right. So. All right, let's do a thing called Fastballs with Fits. I think you've done this before.
- [70:10]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Let's see.
- [70:11]
Fitz
Do you remember?
- [70:12]
Ian Edwards
I think so. I can't remember anything.
- [70:15]
Fitz
I can't remember anything anymore either. Yeah, hopefully the listeners can't, because I'll be. We're doing the same segment. All right, Fastballs with fits. Let's do this. Some questions. You're gonna answer them right away.
- [70:28]
Ian Edwards
Mm.
- [70:28]
Fitz
Okay. Who killed jfk?
- [70:32]
Ian Edwards
We don't know. Maybe the mob.
- [70:37]
Fitz
You don't think it could have been the government in any way?
- [70:40]
Ian Edwards
I feel like maybe the mob would. Governments permission.
- [70:45]
Fitz
So the mob ordered the hit, and the mob executed it.
- [70:49]
Ian Edwards
I feel like the government and the mob was very intertwined back then.
- [70:54]
Fitz
Right.
- [70:55]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. You know what? I saw this old YouTube video of a guy that was interviewed, like, in the 70s, and he said he was one of the mobsters. He was that was there that day. And they interviewed him from his home, and he said he was gonna die soon. So he just wanted to. So he just told, like, this whole story about that day. And he met Jack Ruby to. Not Jack Ruby. What's his name? Not Patton Oswald.
- [71:24]
Fitz
John. Who's the guy who killed the Pat? Lee Harvey Oswald.
- [71:27]
Ian Edwards
He met Lee Harvey Oswald and, like, he told, like, this whole. I forgot the guy's name. This whole thing about the months leading up to it, what he had to bring, how he got to town, what he left in, and, like, who else he saw. And there was so many moving parts.
- [71:44]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [71:44]
Ian Edwards
Because they just wanted to make sure they got it done that day.
- [71:46]
Fitz
Right.
- [71:47]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. So he didn't. He was a part of it, and he didn't have to actually end up doing it. Yeah, but he was involved.
- [71:56]
Fitz
But you think about how many people would have had to have been involved, you know, like, you know, you've got all the security. You got so much cover up. You got all the planning. You've minimum 50 people and not one of them talked.
- [72:12]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [72:12]
Fitz
You know, and I believe the CIA was definitely involved.
- [72:15]
Ian Edwards
That's possible. Yeah, he did. I think he did mention some CIA operatives, but he got in through this, I think a Chicago mob boss that he. That kind of raised him and that he came up in the game. And they wanted Kennedy gone.
- [72:33]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [72:34]
Ian Edwards
You know, for whatever their reasons was.
- [72:35]
Fitz
I think a lot of reasons.
- [72:36]
Ian Edwards
Because of the casino shit.
- [72:38]
Fitz
Well, this was a casino shit. There was also.
- [72:43]
Ian Edwards
The Bay of Pigs. They wanted.
- [72:44]
Fitz
They wanted Cuba.
- [72:45]
Ian Edwards
Cuba. The Cuba casino shit.
- [72:47]
Fitz
Well, there's that. And also, like. But. But, you know, actually JFK was trying to open up relations with Cuba a little bit, and he was also trying to warm things up with Khrushchev in Russia, which the CIA was. You know, this is the Cold War. This is when the government was making money hand over fist from the defense contractors. And then he was working with the civil rights activists. They didn't like that. He was working with the anti war protesters. They didn't like that. You know, there's a lot of people that didn't. Didn't want Kennedy to be around. Is there any projects that you're ever involved in that you regret?
- [73:23]
Ian Edwards
Any project? Myself. Me.
- [73:27]
Fitz
You should have. Back to Better Horse.
- [73:28]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, back to Better Horse. I totally regret this project. What was I thinking, you know, after I picked the assignments too late? You can't. There's only. Can't get out of it. So I was like, fuck it.
- [73:41]
Fitz
Yeah. You have no other career options left.
- [73:44]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [73:45]
Fitz
Shit. Who's the worst guy that ever opened for you? Not by name, but just like, do you remember somebody opening for you?
- [73:52]
Ian Edwards
Oh, shit. It's funny, I was kind of talking with Jesus about this club, but not the scenario. So fuck it. I did go bananas.
- [74:03]
Fitz
Yeah. In Cincinnati.
- [74:04]
Ian Edwards
In Cincinnati. And the host, I brought Davey Wester with me, you know, Davey Webster, he has cerebral palsy, so he's featuring.
- [74:15]
Fitz
Okay.
- [74:15]
Ian Edwards
You know, and there was this host. He's from out that way. Six something. It's like 7ish and like huge, you know, And I forgot, but he was telling. I wasn't there. But he's telling Davey in the green room that he should be featuring. It shouldn't be Davey and some shit.
- [74:36]
Fitz
Like that, saying, this is the guy.
- [74:37]
Ian Edwards
With cerebral palsy saying to the guy with cerebral palsy. And he was like. Then he messed up both our intros. Yeah.
- [74:45]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [74:45]
Ian Edwards
But I thought that was an accident. But then I. When I heard from Davey later on, and then he did something to me that I normally would blow off. But then the next day he'd done something to piss off the people that go bananas.
- [75:00]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [75:01]
Ian Edwards
So then they hit me up and I've never done this before, so. And it's like, do you want him back? And I said, nah, let's get rid of him.
- [75:07]
Fitz
You mean the next night? Yeah, yeah.
- [75:09]
Ian Edwards
Cause it was a third. We did the Thursday.
- [75:10]
Fitz
Right, Right.
- [75:11]
Ian Edwards
I was like, let's. Why have that? He's huge. The green room is small. Like. Like, say, the size of that bathroom. The green size of that. And so it's me and Davey and this huge ass dude who, with this energy that thinks he's better than us.
- [75:28]
Fitz
Yeah. Yeah.
- [75:30]
Ian Edwards
Let's get that out of there.
- [75:31]
Fitz
Yeah, I like that. That felt good.
- [75:33]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [75:33]
Fitz
Pulling back, it didn't feel good.
- [75:35]
Ian Edwards
But it was the best thing to do, like, to enjoy the weekend.
- [75:38]
Fitz
Well, I just had a show. I was in Denver, and one of the comics on the show, they have different comics on the show every night. When you're at the comic work, this guy comes in and I'm sitting in the green room, and he comes in and, you know, I introduce myself. How you doing? Blah, blah, short, you know, small talk. And then he goes. He goes, I have to tell you, like, years ago, I showed up to this club in, like, I think he said, like, St. Louis or something. And he goes. And I came in and you came into the green room and like, the showroom was, like, hot. The air conditioner was broken. And you came in and you were like, I told them to fix the air conditioning. It's so goddamn hot in here. And then he goes, and then you looked at me and you went, and. And who the fuck are you? And I was really like. I go, why would you. Why would you say that to me? Like, first of all, I don't think it's true. Like, maybe I was in a bad mood, but you know how people always blow stories up over time. You know, you always have to be the bad guy or the good guy. There's nothing in between. And so I was probably in a shitty mood or whatever, but I was like, I'm about to go on and headline a show. Like, do you want me to apologize? So I literally said to him, I go, I can't believe you would, like, say that to me right now, you know? And he's like, oh, no, no. I just. I thought, what? Like, it's a funny story. Makes me feel like shit. I go, I don't think I'm a bad guy. So anyway, that was weird.
- [76:53]
Ian Edwards
And he was one of the.
- [76:55]
Fitz
He was the one of the openers.
- [76:57]
Ian Edwards
So what'd you do?
- [76:58]
Fitz
I just. I just, you know, I didn't make a deal out of it. You know, I hung out with him later. I small talk with him later. I mean, I'm not like, that's all I need is to go like, he was a dick twice.
- [77:08]
Ian Edwards
I would have doubled down. Get this fucking guy out of here.
- [77:12]
Fitz
If it was you, you would have gotten him fired. Yeah.
- [77:13]
Ian Edwards
Oh, that usually. Oh, that was you.
- [77:15]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [77:15]
Ian Edwards
Thank you for reminding me. Get the fuck out of here and.
- [77:19]
Fitz
Tell them to fix the air conditioner on the way out.
- [77:21]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [77:23]
Fitz
All right. What about. Have you ever lent anybody a lot of money?
- [77:30]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [77:31]
Fitz
Did you get it back?
- [77:32]
Ian Edwards
Nah, because I don't loan people money to get it back.
- [77:35]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [77:35]
Ian Edwards
Like, when I lend people money, I lend them the amount that I can afford to lose. So if somebody wants to borrow some money and it's higher than the amount that I can afford to lose, I'd be like, listen, I can loan you this amount.
- [77:47]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [77:48]
Ian Edwards
You know what I mean? But when I loan it to them, I'd be like, I don't necessarily need it back. I don't say that to them.
- [77:55]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [77:56]
Ian Edwards
Just so that when they take a long time to pay back. And some of them pay back, but if they don't, I just don't want us to not be talking.
- [78:02]
Fitz
Right. So it doesn't affect the friendship if they don't pay you back.
- [78:06]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [78:07]
Fitz
That's good.
- [78:07]
Ian Edwards
But. And I do it that way. Like, I can afford to lose this. I don't want this to affect our friendship.
- [78:12]
Fitz
Right.
- [78:13]
Ian Edwards
Because you can't just be running out of friends over money.
- [78:16]
Fitz
Right.
- [78:16]
Ian Edwards
You know what I mean?
- [78:17]
Fitz
Right.
- [78:17]
Ian Edwards
So, yeah.
- [78:18]
Fitz
Now the word's out. Now they've done the podcast.
- [78:20]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Now I'm never gonna get back none of the money that I have loaned out. Now I want my money back, y'.
- [78:26]
Fitz
All. Yeah. And I want to talk to you after the show. Actually, I got a question I want to ask you. Have you. Have you ever not finished a set on stage?
- [78:36]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Even if you finish a set, sometimes you feel like you didn't finish.
- [78:43]
Fitz
Right.
- [78:43]
Ian Edwards
The other night, I was at the upstairs, and it. I had another set to get to. The show started late, and then I only had maybe 13 of the 15 minutes. And then this guy was interrupting the whole show, and he'd throw off the punch lines. Cause he'd draw people's attention to shit that he was, like, throwing out. And then when I finally decided to deal with them, the light came on, and I had to go, and I was like, this guy won.
- [79:12]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [79:13]
Ian Edwards
And, like, they. The audience saw me rattled. I didn't have time to even relax and, like, take the five minutes I would need to, like, defeat them.
- [79:22]
Fitz
Right.
- [79:23]
Ian Edwards
And. And Win that night.
- [79:24]
Fitz
Right.
- [79:25]
Ian Edwards
And I just had to, like, be, like, throw out, like, a meaningless threat, like, you're lucky. I gotta go.
- [79:32]
Fitz
Did you say that?
- [79:32]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, some shit like that. But not in, like, what. Not in fighting terms, but in terms of, like, to show you the. That I am the comic.
- [79:40]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [79:40]
Ian Edwards
You know, and this is my stage, and this is my night, but I. I gotta go.
- [79:45]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [79:45]
Ian Edwards
Cause dealing with you, I'm already anxious about being late for the next show. Dealing with you would, you know, would eat into that time.
- [79:54]
Fitz
Yep.
- [79:54]
Ian Edwards
And I'll still be thinking about how I got to drive to the Comedy Store from downtown afterwards.
- [80:00]
Fitz
Now, if you're doing it. If you're. If you're headlining a show, you're up there for an hour. You know, if something like that happens, you can absorb that five minutes, you can handle that person.
- [80:11]
Ian Edwards
Right.
- [80:12]
Fitz
You can get the show back on track. But if you're doing 15 minutes, first of all, you don't want to. You're there because you're probably not making much money. You're doing it to try new material.
- [80:21]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [80:22]
Fitz
So now I can't try my material because I gotta, like, teach you a lesson. So. Yeah. That's frustrating. All right, finally, Ian Edwards, what's the hackiest bit you've ever done?
- [80:33]
Ian Edwards
Oh, last night. Last night, I went full hack.
- [80:39]
Fitz
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [80:41]
Ian Edwards
Cause I did a show in Oakview, which is right next to Ojai.
- [80:49]
Fitz
Okay.
- [80:50]
Ian Edwards
And so it's out there. It's like the freeway ends and you in this town, but everything is, like, sparsely placed.
- [81:00]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [81:00]
Ian Edwards
You know, like. And. And everything is black. The only lights you got is your headlights.
- [81:06]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [81:06]
Ian Edwards
And. And I was doing this Moose Lodge.
- [81:09]
Fitz
No way.
- [81:10]
Ian Edwards
Yes. Like that.
- [81:12]
Fitz
Boy, I hope this special works out for you, man.
- [81:14]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. Yeah. But I was like. I've done shows up there during the pandemic. The same guy, Jake Gallo, he.
- [81:23]
Fitz
Dude, I do a pizza place for Jake.
- [81:26]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. So the pizza place, like, in the strip mall?
- [81:28]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [81:28]
Ian Edwards
Which was like, it's a pandemic. You're like, I need to get on.
- [81:31]
Fitz
The most fun fucking crowd.
- [81:33]
Ian Edwards
Exactly.
- [81:33]
Fitz
They're the best.
- [81:34]
Ian Edwards
Exactly. Like, how the fuck did this turn out to be one of the shows of my life?
- [81:38]
Fitz
Yeah. Yeah.
- [81:39]
Ian Edwards
You know what I mean? Like, outside of a pizza parlor in a strip mall. So he booked the Moose Lodge. So the Moose Lodge in the middle of nowhere?
- [81:49]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [81:50]
Ian Edwards
So when I went on stage, you know, Moose Lodges only have white people, and it's dark, and I was like, you know what? I went on stage and said, first of all, you can't invite a black person to the Moose Lodge in the middle of nowhere and expect them not to feel like something's up. Like, this is the beginning of a horror movie.
- [82:12]
Fitz
Yeah, right.
- [82:13]
Ian Edwards
You know, so I just went into, like, me being the only black guy, but I couldn't not do it because it was there, and then there was one black guy there, and I was like, how long have they kept you here for?
- [82:25]
Fitz
That's like a Jordan Peele movie.
- [82:28]
Ian Edwards
It felt like the beginning of your Jordan Peele movie because it was in the middle of nowhere. I normally. I wouldn't have went there. I knew it was going to work.
- [82:35]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [82:35]
Ian Edwards
They were dying.
- [82:36]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [82:36]
Ian Edwards
And it was definitely hacky.
- [82:38]
Fitz
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [82:39]
Ian Edwards
But it fit the fucking you had.
- [82:41]
Fitz
To do it moment.
- [82:42]
Ian Edwards
And then I went into my original material.
- [82:44]
Fitz
Right, right, right. I like it.
- [82:45]
Ian Edwards
I had to do it.
- [82:46]
Fitz
All right, Ian Edwards. The special is called Untitled. It's on his channel on YouTube. Support it. Make a donation. The money will go to a charity later to be named.
- [82:58]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, just. Oh, just. That's the thing. I don't want to handle money. Like, I'm bad with money. So that's why I was like, just watch it and get the views up, and I'll give that money.
- [83:07]
Fitz
Okay.
- [83:08]
Ian Edwards
Like, I'm not even sure I'll put. Like, if there's a donation thing for, like, a direct charity that I don't touch.
- [83:15]
Fitz
Right.
- [83:15]
Ian Edwards
I'll do that, too.
- [83:16]
Fitz
Okay.
- [83:17]
Ian Edwards
Yeah, that's good. Like, any money you donate to me, I would say, let me. Let me. Let me look up, like, a good charity. I'll put the, like, the link to it.
- [83:25]
Fitz
This sounds so shady.
- [83:27]
Ian Edwards
It's not. I'm just. Listen, there's two things I want to help, but I'm also bad with money, so I got to help in the most basic.
- [83:36]
Fitz
Right, right, right.
- [83:36]
Ian Edwards
So now if the special makes money from people watching it, like, I know I can take that amount of money.
- [83:43]
Fitz
The YouTube ad. YouTube ad money that comes passively. You don't have to do anything. It just comes in.
- [83:47]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. And say, hey, let me take this amount of money and donate it to said charity. That I can do.
- [83:53]
Fitz
You're an amazing guy.
- [83:54]
Ian Edwards
Yeah.
- [83:55]
Fitz
You're a great American.
- [83:56]
Ian Edwards
I'm trying.
- [83:57]
Fitz
Started out Jamaican, turned into a great American.
- [83:59]
Ian Edwards
Yeah. See all these ass whoopings?
- [84:02]
Fitz
Yeah.
- [84:03]
Ian Edwards
Worked out.
- [84:03]
Fitz
They worked out.
- [84:04]
Ian Edwards
Beat your kids, people.
- [84:05]
Fitz
Get out your belts.
- [84:06]
Ian Edwards
Get out your belts. Beat your kids.
- [84:08]
Fitz
All right. Thanks, buddy.
- [84:09]
Ian Edwards
All right. Thank you, brother.
- [84:10]
Fitz
See you.
- [84:10]
Ian Edwards
Appreciate you.
- [84:29]
Fitz
ABC Wednesday. Shifting gears is back he has arisen. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy.
- [84:37]
Ian Edwards
What what?
- [84:38]
Fitz
With a star studded premiere including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis and hey buddy, a big home improvement reunion welcome. Oh boy, that guy's a tool. Shifting Gears season premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.
- [84:59]
Ian Edwards
If you work in marketing, your tabs tell a whole story one for the deck, one for the logo, three for the versions you're afraid to delete. Dropbox Daz searches across all your tools, then helps you draft copy that actually hits. Because stuck isn't a strategy. Learn more at Dropbox.com/.