Loading summary
Transcript892 lines
- [00:00]
Fred Meyer Ad
Stay warm and save every day. All in the Fred Meyer app. Get juicy green seedless grapes for $1.99 a pound with your card and a digital coupon. Then find low prices on thousands of items like sparkling ice water, Kroger brand chips and more with your card. Shop these deals at your local Oregon Fred Meyer today or click the screen now to download the Fred Meyer app to save big today. Fred Meyer fresh for everyone. Prices and product availability subject to change restrictions apply. See site for details.
- [00:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. I'm just back from 11 days in the Arctic freeze of the Midwest. New York City, even Raleigh, North Carolina, which was the last leg of the trip, was freezing. So I'm so happy to be back in la. I gotta tell you though, I had asthma during the fires and then I left town. Asthma went away. Got back today, wheezing again. Back on the inhaler. There are some toxic particles flying through the air. They say all the electric cars see rest of the country, we're getting. We're dying from our electric cars. The irony, the cruel irony of it. No, but it's bad. The air particles are bad. But the rest of California is beautiful. It's. I gotta tell you, sometimes I get burnt out and I take my life for granted. And then I go away for 11 days and I come back with a whole new set of eyes and ears and I, you know, I've been bundled in three layers and thick hats for the last 11 days. And then I come back and I'm in a T shirt. It was in a T shirt today. I'm going to play golf in about 20 minutes with my son and his buddies. And then going to a movie with my chick tonight. Gonna see the Bob Dylan movie. Um. It's just a good life. People are. People are better looking here. They just are. They're better looking. They're healthier. Restaurants are better. Um, I don't know. I got a buddy that wants me to come over and take a cold plunge in a sauna tomorrow. And then it's just on and on. It's a good life. Got a nice little house. Fucking rest of the country. Coming back to Wisconsin this coming weekend, so right back into it. Milwaukee, if you're around. What else? I had fun. I had a. I had a blast. Don't get me wrong. I love being on the road and, you know, like, I stayed in the city, in a hotel for a few nights and then I stayed up at my sister's for, I think just a night. Was it one night. Might have been one night. And I love my sister. She's the. She's a badass. She's just the coolest chick. She was like my closest friend growing up and through college. And she's just one of my favorite people in the world. And she brought a bunch of friends out to my show. I was in Nyack West, Nyack, New York, in a mall, and she brought a bunch of people out. And there was one particular. The Friday early show was packed. It was sold out. And then I snuck all my family in and. But they showed up late because we went to dinner first. So they were in the back row. It's like a 500 seat room. And they were. Their heads were against the wall in the back, which isn't bad for me. I don't like seeing their faces when I'm on stage talking about fucking their. Their aunt. You know, my nephew's there. Sorry. They're like coming on. On his aunt's belly. Who wants to hear about that? So. But I. Everybody came out. My. My buddy Johnny Trouble. He's the. The fire chief in Tarrytown, where I grew up. Or he's Sleepy Hollow. And then Kyle McGovern, my other buddy, who's now a Supreme Court justice of New York State, the judge. Um, My friend Laurie came out. She gave me a blowjob in a CVS parking lot once. I brought that up on stage, even though I didn't remember that happening. But she did. I don't know if she was kidding, but I don't think it really happened. I. I think she made it up. Pete Scott was there. The great Pete Scott. Alex and Linda. Just tons of friends. And all my cousins came. All my cousins, the Mulligans. Some. Some were up from Virginia. One took trains in from Long island into the city and then to somebody else rented a car. They came from all over. It was really kind of touching.
- [05:22]
Matt Fulcher
And.
- [05:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I went out to dinner with them all before, which I never go out to dinner before my shows. It's so distracting. It fucks up my head. I don't like it. But when it's family, it's. It's good. And I loved it. Anyway, then I came to Raleigh. And it's. I wouldn't call it the Bible Belt, but it's North Carolina. And I was doing a lot of abortion jokes and we had some walkouts. We had. We had a couple people. And I always wonder when they walk out on the abortion jokes, is it because they had an abortion or that they don't want other people to have them or they just don't want it talked about? Do they want this issue that apparently divides our nation, even though 70% of people want it to be legal? Apparently it divides our nation, but it shouldn't be discussed or maybe by a comedian. Who else is going to talk about it? So I'm back. Got this. Watched a lot of football yesterday. Chiefs look good. Real good. Eagles look real good. It's going to be an amazing Super Bowl. Excuse me. I got some snot. I'm going to watch it alone. I'm not into watching football games with other people, especially not the Super Bowl. I will with my wife. She can watch if my son wants to come over. Great. Daughter won't. She won't sit down for football. All right, let's get to it. We'll get to my guest in a second, but there's a lot of overheards I want to get to real quick. Overheards. I don't think we have a sting for that, but that's what it would sound like. Overheards. Did you hear that? Edward Farrell said he overheard somebody say, you can buy that at the Dollar store for a dollar. Which, by the way, is unusual. I've been to the Dollar store recently, and they have shit that's $2. They have stuff that's $3. It's a misnomer. It's like saying, I'm going to Burger King. He's not the king. He's a fucking. He's a. He's a methamphetamine addict who's trying to make minimum wage. He's not a king. He thinks he's a king. Sometimes in an alley behind the Burger King after he gets his check, he's royalty. Oh, yeah. And then we got. I don't even know who wrote this in, but you'll know. You'll know who you are. While attempting to study car electricity, I overheard the following interaction between a Starbucks barista and a lady customer. Lady customer said, what's the code for the restroom door? Barista said, 58945. 5895. 9845. Thank you. No. 5894-559845-58945. Customer. 58945. Thank you. 59845. Barista. 58945. What? 58945. Thank you. 58495. At that point. At that point, I couldn't take it anywhere. I got up, walked over, unlocked the damn door, blocked it with a deadbolt, and did a quick whistle to the lady. She laughed and Scored. Scooted towards the loo. Yeah, I. I can't remember that many numbers now. I can. Six. I realize I can remember six numbers, but seven is impossible for me. Phone numbers are impossible. They need to be written down. My hotel room numbers I remember for weeks. I don't know why, but I was just in room 6:30. And then I was in room 415 when I was in Nyack. And then when I was in the city, I was in room 231. I will remember those numbers for we. I don't know why they stick in my head. Because they have to. Paul Gillool in County Clare, Ireland, said, two lads in Tralee talking about their night out on the lash the night before. One of the. One of the lads over consumed and said, quote, I would have been a fair bit disappointed in myself if I died last night. Huh. Oh, the Irish. Sometimes I guess you that hungover where you wish you could die, I don't miss that. I haven't drank at 35 years and I do not miss hangovers. And apparently people tell me that if I were to start drinking again, I wouldn't last because the hangovers are so much worse when you get older. Everything's worse when you get older. Jesus. Brian G says, guy number one said, if you're sick, you should take iron. Guy number two says, what's iron do? Guy number one confidently, well, it gives you the nutrition. Okay. Most people that want to talk about nutrient, like, I don't know how much I believe in supplements. I do take lion's mane for my brain. I take vitamin c, I take D12. I mean, I do it, but I don't know. There's a lot of experts that say it's all rubbish. Eat vegetables and shut the fuck up. And then you got guys like Rogan who swears that these pills will enhance your life, make your body better, make you la. I don't know if I want to last longer. I want to last as long as I'm meant to last. I don't need to extend this. Life's fine, but it's not fore. It shouldn't last more than 82 years. That's. That's. It's a bit much, don't you think? 83. There's 82 and out. Brandon Reed said he overheard in Oakland at 7am Person walking by on their phone, quote, I don't fuck with marshmallows. I'm with you. I do not fuck with marshmallows either. I think they're for children. If you're an adult and you're eating marshmallows, then you need to see a psychiatrist about your arrested development. Marshmallows are for children. You sell T shirts after my shows. This is from Danny Mitchell, who said, at Fitz Dog's Thursday night Tulsa show, party of six fat chicks celebrating a birthday. The fattest one says, oh, my God. Why are jokes always so funny? Well, first of all, I don't know why we need to know that the women are overweight or that the largest of them said this, but I appreciate it. Tulsa's not a skinny town. Don't kid yourselves. Tulsa. Tulsa's got some girth. Darren Johnson said, oh, he saw the movie the Road Dog, and he went on and on about how much. If you like. If you like Doug, um, if you like Doug Stanhope. I forget his name for a second. He's the star of the movie. I have a small part. Doug is amazing, and he's this guy says it's the leaving Las Vegas for comedians. It's free on to be and all that. What's the last one? All right, that's it. All right, let's get to it. Speaking of Milwaukee, I'll be there at the Improv January 31st through February 2nd. Then I'll be at Brad Garrett's club in Vegas, February 10th through the 16th, Fontana, California, at Stage Red, February 22nd, Atlanta Punchline, first week of March, St. Patrick's Day show at the Hollywood Improv, March 15th. And then I'm coming to Ontario, Toronto, Pittsburgh, Tampa, La Jolla, boston. Go to fitzdog.com, get some tickets, come out, see some live shows. We've been doing good lately, selling out a bunch of them. My guest today is a guy I've become good friends with over the last year. We've been developing a script for Bill Burr. He's a fine comedian. He is out on the road. He's got a tour. We're going to talk about that. He's got a podcast called Full Charge Power Hour. You've seen him on Comedy Central presents Live at Gotham, the Late Late show on cbs. Last comic standing, Tosh Point o. Last Call with. With Carson Daly. He's done it all. He's been on Joe Rogan's podcast, so I know you'll love him. We talked for a bit, had a lot of laughs. Please say hello to Matt Fulch, ladies and gentlemen. It's not often that I introduce somebody that I have spent as much time on Zoom with as I have with this next gentleman, Matt Fulcher on welcome.
- [14:58]
Matt Fulcher
Great to Be here, Greg. Thank you for having me. Do you know.
- [15:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [15:03]
Matt Fulcher
When you're on my radar as far as history concerned, as far as, like, working together.
- [15:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [15:09]
Matt Fulcher
Stuff like that. You don't remember? I do, because.
- [15:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Have you never brought yourself up before?
- [15:14]
Matt Fulcher
What's that?
- [15:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Have you never brought this up before?
- [15:15]
Matt Fulcher
I've never brought it up. I brought up some of it. I'll take you through it.
- [15:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, please, please.
- [15:21]
Matt Fulcher
So we did a show together in. On Third street. And it was booked by the Craig Kilborn guys in, like, 2000 or 1999. And I. I remember I was just starting, and they saw me at the Westwood Brew Co and they thought I was hot shit, and they had me on. And it was for all, like, their family or their wives or co workers or whatever.
- [15:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
The Craig Kilborne show.
- [15:45]
Matt Fulcher
Well, the gig I was on on 3rd Street, I didn't do the Kilbourne show.
- [15:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [15:50]
Matt Fulcher
They got my information. I'm like, cool, I'm doing the Kilbourne show. They're like, no, you're doing this gig on 3rd Street. You know, And I went up. I didn't really know how to do a show with civilians in it yet. I was used to performing for comics. Little Rocky for you showed up fucking crushed. I think you talked about Vince Champ or some other rapist.
- [16:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
- [16:12]
Matt Fulcher
I remember that. And then we worked.
- [16:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But the Vince Champ story, just. Just to refresh people's memory. Vince Champ was a comedian. And I had a. I had an agent out of Chicago, and his name was. Well, there was. There was Scott Bass, but there was a guy. Are reo professional artists? Doesn't matter. The guy has a roster of comics. Bill Burr is one of them. Kevin Brannon is one of them. And so we got to know each other because a lot of times we would do gigs together. So there's a guy named Vince Champ, right? You know, black guy from the Midwest, very clean cut, clean act, sweet guy. And I would work with him, and I must have worked with him three times. And I specifically remember because you'd always go out afterwards. You know, you're in, like, Des Moines, Iowa, or, like a. Or a really small town.
- [17:11]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [17:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
In North Dakota. And, like, go, let's go to the fucking Bennigans.
- [17:15]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [17:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And tear it up. Tear it up.
- [17:18]
Matt Fulcher
Everybody order now.
- [17:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Because the students would take you, right? And they had an expense account. You get whatever you want. And we were broke comics. Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [17:26]
Matt Fulcher
That's why we're at the college gig in the first place.
- [17:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, my God. They were. They were life rafts to us when we were starting out. Pay better than other gigs, get 800 bucks.
- [17:35]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, yeah.
- [17:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then you try to line up five or six in a week and just rent a car and come home with four grand in your pocket.
- [17:41]
Matt Fulcher
There's your spring. There's your. There's your February.
- [17:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
There's. You can stay in town for the rest of the month.
- [17:47]
Matt Fulcher
Beautiful.
- [17:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So anyway, I specifically remember I would always say to Vince Champ, hey, let's go grab a burger. And he'd be like, nah, man, I'm gonna dip. You know, I got stuff to do. And I'm. Stuff to do. Like what?
- [17:59]
Matt Fulcher
In South Dakota?
- [18:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
South Dakota. And so then I found out later that Vince Champ is a notorious serial rapist. And not like a date rape. We're talking grabbing people and pushing them in the bushes kind of rapist.
- [18:18]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [18:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And the reason they figured it out is that I think when DNA. I don't know how they got his DNA. Somehow they. They trace DNA evidence and they piece together his club dates over the past 10 years.
- [18:35]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [18:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And he would never do it in the town he was in. He would drive.
- [18:39]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, man.
- [18:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Two or three hours.
- [18:41]
Matt Fulcher
Oh.
- [18:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Commit the crime and then go to the next place.
- [18:44]
Matt Fulcher
That's diabolical.
- [18:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Diabolic. And on cruise ships that he was working.
- [18:50]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, my God. Can you even get arrested for crimes on cruise ships?
- [18:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, those didn't count.
- [18:56]
Matt Fulcher
Isn't that crazy?
- [18:57]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. But then he. So he goes to jail for many, many years. And. And so I'm. I'm. I go to a gig. It was in Wisconsin, and I'm about to go on, and I always ask them before I go on, is there anything to avoid, like, was there a racial incident on campus or did the football team. Whatever. So. So they go. They go, it's a woman. And she goes, yeah, don't bring up rape. And I said, why shouldn't I bring up rape? And she goes, well, we had Vince Champ here, and he went nearby, and he. And he raped. So I go, so let me get this straight. You called Aria, professional artist, you booked a comedian he raped, and then you called them back and asked if they.
- [19:46]
Matt Fulcher
Had any other comedians, you know, any shoplifters. His signature is still on a brick. At the Comedy and Magic club. No. In Hermosa Beach. Really? Yeah. Still up there. They haven't gone over it because I think they kind of respect history over there.
- [20:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Damn.
- [20:03]
Matt Fulcher
But, I mean, hey, never forget, right?
- [20:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Never forget.
- [20:06]
Matt Fulcher
Wash over it. People might forget.
- [20:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's right. Yeah. That's right. And yeah. Sorry. So that you had a good.
- [20:12]
Matt Fulcher
You had a good, like five minutes on it or like three.
- [20:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, I remember.
- [20:16]
Matt Fulcher
I had.
- [20:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, I remember I had a lot on Vince Champ. I was kind of obsessed with it.
- [20:19]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [20:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I was so disturbed.
- [20:21]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [20:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, so what was the next.
- [20:23]
Matt Fulcher
Okay, so then I'm emceeing for you at the San Francisco Punchline in January of 2007.
- [20:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
- [20:32]
Matt Fulcher
And the only reason I think you might remember it is because you were taping a CD kind of by yourself and around Saturday, you know, that's like a Wednesday through Saturday.
- [20:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [20:43]
Matt Fulcher
So around Friday, maybe you came up to me and you're like, hey, when you introduce me, can you act like you're excited that I'm coming up? And it just snap, you know, it like it woke me up. Like sometimes you're not aware.
- [20:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah.
- [20:58]
Matt Fulcher
Of like how you're doing the professional part of a job. And I go, oh, yeah, yeah, of course, of course, man. I'm sorry. And you kind of gave me a little. Cause I think Molly overheard. And you're like. You're like, no, that's good. It's his thing. It's his thing. He actually doesn't want to be here. It's cool, you know. And yeah, that happened to me at. I went out.
- [21:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That was the. That's the tough thing about hosting is it is true. It's the hardest gig on. People think the headliner has the hard job. MC goes up onto a cold stage. People are still arriving. This is when all the drink orders are going in.
- [21:34]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, yeah.
- [21:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
This is where people are kind of acclimating themselves to being in an audience. They're trying to feel out. If these people are laughing, then I'll laugh and all that. So you got to go up and say, you're like, you're a lower energy comic.
- [21:49]
Matt Fulcher
Sure.
- [21:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And you got to go up in a situation that really requires high energy.
- [21:54]
Matt Fulcher
Totally, totally.
- [21:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And it requires you to do crowd work, which maybe you don't do or like to do. And so you're forced to wear all these hats and you've only got 10 minutes if. If that.
- [22:05]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [22:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then you've got to suddenly be an introducer of somebody which may not be your energy also.
- [22:12]
Matt Fulcher
And, well, I would get way. When I was emceeing, get way more nervous about the announcements between the feature act and the headliner.
- [22:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right, right.
- [22:19]
Matt Fulcher
That actually doing the set because, oh, I got to get this website. I got to do this. I got it. You know, because some Guys.
- [22:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Like, some guys, you go, what do you want for an intro? And they go, been on the Tonight show three times. And, you know, at Conan once. Right, Got it. Other guys, it's like their IMDb page.
- [22:36]
Matt Fulcher
Totally. And this was my favorite when I was emceeing was like, I got a movie coming out called Juana, man. But you never heard of the movie.
- [22:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right, right.
- [22:44]
Matt Fulcher
You don't know how to spell Juana, you know, so you're just like. And one time. I don't even know I should tell this one time I was introducing David Alan Greer.
- [22:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [22:56]
Matt Fulcher
I almost said Tommy Davidson.
- [22:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, wow.
- [22:58]
Matt Fulcher
Because they were both on Amen.
- [22:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Right.
- [23:00]
Matt Fulcher
And I was like, that would have been the end of my life.
- [23:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [23:04]
Matt Fulcher
Because like, I, like, there was a panic. It was like, what's his name?
- [23:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [23:08]
Matt Fulcher
Like, that's all you need to know.
- [23:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [23:10]
Matt Fulcher
One time I was introducing Todd Glass and I, like, I totally space. And I just go, ladies and gentlemen, Todd Glass. And he walked on stage, he goes, that's my intro. That's my intro. He sent me back out and I had to go back out and introduce him.
- [23:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But that's perfect for him.
- [23:27]
Matt Fulcher
That's him. Yeah, he likes to keep it loose like that.
- [23:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, I've done that with MCs.
- [23:30]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [23:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I've called them back up as a joke to. To do it again. And they love it, of course, because they think it's hilarious.
- [23:36]
Matt Fulcher
They want the second chance.
- [23:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [23:38]
Matt Fulcher
And they want the audience to know I'm. I'm buddies with the headliner. We fool around, we're friends. You know, I'm not just this jerk off that you.
- [23:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I tell. Because when he finishes his headliner set, he'll bring up the MC in the feature. Or one of them.
- [23:53]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, yeah.
- [23:53]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then just around for a while.
- [23:55]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. No, that looks.
- [23:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Which is really cool. Yeah. But no, it's a tough gig. And I. I remember there's a woman who's a really good comic in LA called Jen Saki.
- [24:10]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [24:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I forget how it's spelled, but I've said Sochi. I've said so key. I've said it wrong so many. And I literally will say to her before I go on now, which. Which is. And she'll say, yes, Saki, like the ball sake.
- [24:27]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [24:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then I'll go up and. Because I fucked it up once.
- [24:30]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [24:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Is that funny how you freeze up when you've done something wrong once?
- [24:35]
Matt Fulcher
Dude, I messed up on my podcast. I'm still nervous to say her name. I've known her for 20 years. Christina Pazicki. Would you change her name to Christina P?
- [24:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I'll move the mic a little more in front of you.
- [24:44]
Matt Fulcher
When she changed her name to Christina P. I was like, thank Christ.
- [24:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I know.
- [24:49]
Matt Fulcher
You know, I'm like, I can do that.
- [24:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Is it Pajit Ski?
- [24:52]
Matt Fulcher
Pajit Ski, I believe.
- [24:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [24:54]
Matt Fulcher
You know?
- [24:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, I fucked it up.
- [24:56]
Matt Fulcher
But I'm self conscious. And also, as embarrassing is at the Comedy Store, you're bringing up people I've known for decades.
- [25:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [25:03]
Matt Fulcher
And I'm like, I don't think I know how to pronounce their name, though. You know? And it's kind of like. And then I'm thinking about it too much and I say or mispronounce it.
- [25:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [25:11]
Matt Fulcher
Like, I thought we knew each other. There's that weird moment. Like, I thought we knew each other.
- [25:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. We had on the podcast Dual. It's Dulce Sloan and it's spelled D, U, L, C, E. So I think I said Dulce.
- [25:27]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [25:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And she corrected me. And I immediately was on my back foot in the interview because you feel like totally. You don't know.
- [25:35]
Matt Fulcher
Feels like you didn't do your homework.
- [25:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah.
- [25:37]
Matt Fulcher
Your research.
- [25:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right, right, right.
- [25:41]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I. I was on. I was auditioning to be on Chelsea lately. You know, the. To be the announcer.
- [25:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, kidding.
- [25:53]
Matt Fulcher
Bringing back to my announcing skills.
- [25:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, that's a good gig.
- [25:55]
Matt Fulcher
And it would have been a great gig. And it was the same deal. I did it and they go, okay, Matt, now do it like you want them to watch the show. It's Fitzsimmons all over again. Yeah.
- [26:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's hilarious. That's a good gig. Because I. I worked on a talk show once. It was a daily talk show. And the guy that did the announcing, he was a comic, and he came in for an hour a day, and he got. And it was after. It was union work, so. So there was a minimum pay. It was like 800 bucks a day, five days a week. And he got all his health benefits, pension. He was there for nine years every week.
- [26:37]
Matt Fulcher
That's funny because that's like, considered a long job in showbiz, in freelance work.
- [26:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [26:44]
Matt Fulcher
Like, you'd be like. If you told somebody from the Midwest the job lasted nine years, they'd be like, how about 35? Or is it even like that in the Midwest anymore? I feel like everyone's. I feel like people don't have, like, unions and like that Everybody.
- [26:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Unions are going away. Pensions are totally going away. It used to be they paid you a Pension. Now they open an account for you so you can pay into your own pension.
- [27:09]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [27:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But I'm. I've been in the writer's guild for 17 years. Or I've paid into it 17 years. And I got a sweet pension coming up.
- [27:20]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [27:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I'm taking it early. You can, you can. I can take it now if I want.
- [27:25]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [27:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And so I got Social Security, which I've been paying into for 35 years.
- [27:31]
Matt Fulcher
Totally.
- [27:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I got my WGA pension. I got. I own my house.
- [27:36]
Matt Fulcher
Nice.
- [27:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
We have a rental unit that we get rent from every month.
- [27:40]
Matt Fulcher
Beautiful.
- [27:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And no debts.
- [27:44]
Matt Fulcher
Dude, you're not going anywhere. You're staying right here in California.
- [27:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You gotta have.
- [27:47]
Matt Fulcher
You won. You won life.
- [27:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I somehow it happened about two years ago when my kids got out of college and I was like, I think I did it.
- [27:57]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. No, you did it. I think I did it with room to spare.
- [28:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Not a lot of room to spare, but I can live. Sure. A decent life. I can take a couple trips a year.
- [28:06]
Matt Fulcher
A lot of US comics, it's like two minute warning on the clock. It's like, oh, yeah, yeah.
- [28:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Together. But. But the thing is, my pedal's been on the fucking accelerator for 35 years. Absolutely.
- [28:17]
Matt Fulcher
I've been listening to episodes of this podcast and when you started. When you're 20.
- [28:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. I mean, when did you start? How old were you?
- [28:25]
Matt Fulcher
I started when I was almost 24 and I was on the slow boat to China, like, just doing like, you would never recommend to do a comedy career the way I did it.
- [28:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [28:35]
Matt Fulcher
I started in la. And the upside was there was open mics every night.
- [28:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [28:40]
Matt Fulcher
And so I did open mics for like three years.
- [28:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [28:42]
Matt Fulcher
And it was the late 90s.
- [28:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Starting at 24.
- [28:45]
Matt Fulcher
Starting at 24.
- [28:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [28:46]
Matt Fulcher
You know, and it was a different time where, like, I don't know, at least in la, Stand up itself was kind of dead. And like, I'm just doing these open mics and then after a while I'm like, oh, I should try to do this at a club, you know? And after three years, I got in at the improv and immediately started working all the improv.
- [29:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [29:03]
Matt Fulcher
So. But I mean, I. I think I waited the proper amount of time because.
- [29:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Who was your. Who was your class coming. Coming up? Who were the comics?
- [29:10]
Matt Fulcher
My real class coming up, when I first got here, it was Sam Tripoli.
- [29:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Huh.
- [29:16]
Matt Fulcher
And a guy named. You might not know him, Brett Gilbert. You saw Bob Oshack around.
- [29:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, love Bob. O'Sha.
- [29:24]
Matt Fulcher
Jason Galern was around.
- [29:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Those are both very Interesting comments.
- [29:28]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, totally. Nice guys, too.
- [29:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [29:29]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, totally.
- [29:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, Shaq went the writing direction. He's been very successful.
- [29:33]
Matt Fulcher
I know he works for Bill Marshall. I think I see his name. I'm like, that's the guy.
- [29:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right?
- [29:37]
Matt Fulcher
You know, he was always.
- [29:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So he might have started as warm up on the show and then got hired to write for it.
- [29:42]
Matt Fulcher
Good for him. That doesn't always happen.
- [29:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It happened to me on Bill Maher show.
- [29:46]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, that's awesome.
- [29:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Back when it was Politically Incorrect New York, I was a warm up guy and Bill saw my act and he hired me as a writer.
- [29:52]
Matt Fulcher
That's beautiful, man.
- [29:53]
Greg Fitzsimmons
First writing job. Yeah.
- [29:54]
Matt Fulcher
Good for you. That's great.
- [29:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So. So Oshack.
- [29:57]
Matt Fulcher
And then later, my class was. It was like a good group of guys. It was me, Tom Segura, Ryan Sickler, Jay Larson, and a guy named Carl DiGregiero.
- [30:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
People fucked his name up on stage big time.
- [30:12]
Matt Fulcher
I almost did.
- [30:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [30:13]
Matt Fulcher
You saw the concentration.
- [30:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. He looked off in the other direction.
- [30:16]
Matt Fulcher
I better get this right.
- [30:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, he twitched. Yeah, yeah, totally.
- [30:20]
Matt Fulcher
But, yeah, no, that was around, like, 2005. We all started to, like. We could feel that we were starting to get some momentum. We could feel that people were starting to pay attention.
- [30:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [30:31]
Matt Fulcher
And we all were kind of at the same place at the same same time, like, enjoying it amongst ourselves.
- [30:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Now, when you saw Segura, because he's playing arenas now.
- [30:42]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [30:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Did you see something early on that you said, this guy's special?
- [30:45]
Matt Fulcher
What? The reason I thought Tom was special is because it was. You know, I was maybe seven years in after my first open mic, and he had just started, and he was already funny.
- [30:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [30:58]
Matt Fulcher
Like, he was. Already had like 10 minutes that were great.
- [31:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [31:02]
Matt Fulcher
And I'm like, oh, this dude just started.
- [31:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [31:04]
Matt Fulcher
So in that respect, I was like, this is pretty amazing. And he was just up to speed right away.
- [31:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [31:09]
Matt Fulcher
You know, he's got. He's got, like, leadership qualities. So, like, he can look at. I. I worked for him actually, like, logging tapes for a reality show.
- [31:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, really?
- [31:21]
Matt Fulcher
And so he was the boss, though. You know how most comics are like, yeah, I'm just doing this to get by. But Tom was the boss.
- [31:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [31:27]
Matt Fulcher
And I see him now. He's like, he runs this big.
- [31:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
He runs a corporation.
- [31:30]
Matt Fulcher
He runs a television studio, dude. You know, it's not.
- [31:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's no joke. I mean, I've been to. That. I've been to a studio Austin, and it is a floor of an office building, and there is. It's a beehive Everybody's hustling and working.
- [31:47]
Matt Fulcher
Totally.
- [31:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And coming to him and yes. This no dude. Like, if he wasn't a comedian, he would be running a fortune.
- [31:54]
Matt Fulcher
You totally get that impression. And that's like how I met him. And that's. I. I work for him. And I quit in the worst way. Like I had a. I was working nights. Like he met. He let me log tape.
- [32:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [32:06]
Matt Fulcher
For this reality show from like 11pm to like 8 in the morning. Right. Which was great because I was in a band and I did stand up, so I needed that time at night to do it.
- [32:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [32:20]
Matt Fulcher
But also that's the worst hours to work. Like, I just kind of lost my mind a little.
- [32:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You're just alone.
- [32:27]
Matt Fulcher
Alone. And you think you can sleep during the day, but you really can't. Not that well.
- [32:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [32:33]
Matt Fulcher
I mean, of course there's the land at the hotel. Sneak in an hour of sleep and then go to the gig.
- [32:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [32:38]
Matt Fulcher
That's different. Trying to get eight hours during the day is so.
- [32:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I didn't know you were in a band. What was the band?
- [32:44]
Matt Fulcher
I was in a band. We never got past practice. Oh. But the good news is the drummer is now my podcast host.
- [32:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
- [32:51]
Matt Fulcher
So on the full charge. Power hour. My podcast.
- [32:53]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [32:54]
Matt Fulcher
But anyway, long story short, I had a, like a rough 30th birthday. My roommate brought this girl I like to my birthday party and kind of made out with her in front of me. I felt like, yeah. And I was turning 30 and I knew what the I was doing with my life. Even though I was doing stand up, I wasn't getting anywhere or anything. And my cousin came by for dinner before I went to work and I had a couple drinks with her. And then I. At 3:00am at the, @ the, the tape logging thing, I was. I just sent Tom an email that was like, yeah, I quit, man. I'm out of here. And I just walked out and just like, I just went away. Which is weird for me. I'm a very responsible guy. But at 30, I hadn't gotten anywhere. And I felt like, fuck all this being responsible. Like, I saw, I see all these dirtbag comics acting up and like. And the world is their oyster. I'm going to start to become a fuck up. Didn't work out so well. The point is, it's weird. Tom has taken me all over the world as an opening.
- [33:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [33:52]
Matt Fulcher
And I, I didn't know it's Thomas Segura. Like, I totally fucked him over.
- [33:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Yeah.
- [33:57]
Matt Fulcher
And. But he was such a responsible adult at the Time I came to pick up a paycheck and he was like. He's like, come on, let's go outside and talk. He lit up a cigarette and he's like, I think it was really terrible the way you quit and everything. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And I got like, so self conscious that I just started laughing. And he started laughing too.
- [34:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [34:17]
Matt Fulcher
And at the time, I thought we were sharing a laugh at how, like, awkward it was, but now that I know him, I know he was laughing at me like, this guy's fucking crazy. Like, this guy's fucking crazy. I've never taken this guy on tour. There I am in Japan, fucking hanging with Tom.
- [34:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. You do some pretty sweet tours. You go out with Tom and who else did you go out with? Tosh.
- [34:38]
Matt Fulcher
I used to go out with Daniel Tosh all the time.
- [34:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [34:41]
Matt Fulcher
Which was really fun. It was that sweet spot, especially for his career, where, like, social media hadn't really taken over yet. It was just kind of like all about the stand up comedy.
- [34:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [34:53]
Matt Fulcher
And he had kind of like a nerdy, intellectual audience, and it was just so awesome. It was the first time I got to play theaters or anything, and it was just.
- [35:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Do you meet a lot of girls on the tour?
- [35:06]
Matt Fulcher
Not a lot of girls, because that's the diff. It was like theaters by the time I started working with it.
- [35:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [35:13]
Matt Fulcher
So you're not. You're not walking into the bar area.
- [35:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [35:17]
Matt Fulcher
Of the theater. You're just kind of backstage. And you're also there to be good company to Tasha. And I had a girlfriend from most of that run.
- [35:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh.
- [35:25]
Matt Fulcher
So it was like.
- [35:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [35:27]
Matt Fulcher
The answer's no.
- [35:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay. Yeah. Because he seems like the kind of guy that attracts a lot of attractive women to his audience.
- [35:35]
Matt Fulcher
Right. But he had a girlfriend at the time too, so.
- [35:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [35:39]
Matt Fulcher
No capitalizing on it, dude.
- [35:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You got to bring it. My opener is a guy. I don't know if I should say his name, but talking about Dean.
- [35:47]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, sorry, am I not supposed to say his name?
- [35:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Dean Delray is not my guy.
- [35:51]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, no. I thought you were talking about a guy named.
- [35:53]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. D.C. is this initials.
- [35:56]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. You were talking about on the Ian Bag episode.
- [35:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, okay. Oh. And I describe what he's like on the road.
- [36:03]
Matt Fulcher
Or it's a different name now that I remember. Yeah, he gets laid a lot. He gets laid.
- [36:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Not just once, several times in the weekend. And he's not. He's not an operator. He doesn't seem to be an operator. He's a laid back dude. Just a Skinny black guy from the Midwest.
- [36:23]
Matt Fulcher
I'm listening.
- [36:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And all the. Any just. Like, it just happens?
- [36:27]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [36:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I saw it one time. This girl came out and she was with her father, and they came to the merch table, and the father's with his daughter, and they take a picture. And then. And the father goes, I gotta go to the bathroom. And they exchanged numbers. And he told me the next night that she hooked up with him that night.
- [36:48]
Matt Fulcher
That did happen to me one time. A girl came up to me in Miami. And first of all, I had accidentally stood up Bobby Slayton for dinner.
- [36:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh.
- [36:59]
Matt Fulcher
Like, he's like, let's go to dinner tomorrow night. I'm like, all right, great. You know, I'm just starting to do the road. I love Bobby Slayton. And I go, what's your room number? I'll call you. And he's like, slayton? And I'm like, no, what's your room number? You know, like, I'm calling. He's like, slayton? Ask for Bobby Slayton.
- [37:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [37:16]
Matt Fulcher
Like, you dumb.
- [37:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [37:18]
Matt Fulcher
And I asked for Bobby Slayton at his hotel, and they wouldn't put me through, of course. Right.
- [37:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [37:24]
Matt Fulcher
So then I finally get him on the phone at some point, and he's just like. He's like. I waited till 4 o'clock, and then I was just like, fuck him.
- [37:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [37:32]
Matt Fulcher
He goes. And he goes, you should have come out. He's like, juicy steaks, ice cold beers. You fucked up. And then at the club, I see him. He's like, don't even talk to me. And I'm like, dude, you know what?
- [37:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [37:46]
Matt Fulcher
I'm trying. I'm trying to explain it. He's not having it.
- [37:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [37:49]
Matt Fulcher
I'm talking to this pretty girl afterwards, and he's trying to, like, cockblock me, even though he's married. And I say this with love. I love Bobby Slayton. And then at one point, she. This happens with. With attractive women. They're always losing their purse or something.
- [38:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [38:05]
Matt Fulcher
And she's like, I lost my purse. And Bobby's all over the club looking for the purse. And I'm like, no, I'm just sitting here. I'm not getting backed up. And all this. Then. Then she takes off, and some other girl comes up with her dad, and. And, like, he's kind of earshot, and she gives me the number, and we're hanging out. I'm working there the next week with Dice Clay, which I got fired from, by the way. Theme of my life. Did you say this? Was it the Miami Improv?
- [38:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
A Miami. Right, right.
- [38:33]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. And. And so. But I'm there for like a whole nother week. And so now I got my, my, my Miami girlfriend. It was, it was, it was beautiful times to be alive.
- [38:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's a good week. That's a good week. Yeah. I was always Matt. I was married or dating my girlfriend since I was 30. So in my 20s, I wasn't big enough to really attract women. And then I met my. I met my wife when I was 30.
- [39:02]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [39:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I was like, fuck. Because I knew when I met her and I. Things were just happening for me. And I knew when I met her that she was going to be my wife. I said it to her friend. Her friend introduced us. I said, I'm marrying your friend.
- [39:14]
Matt Fulcher
And you had a long term girlfriend right before that, right?
- [39:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [39:17]
Matt Fulcher
So it hit you like a ton of bricks. You're like, that's. That's what it's supposed to be like. I had like this vibe.
- [39:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I had six months in between where I had my own apartment in New York City. I had just done Letterman. I had like a lot of stuff going and it was good. It was really good. And then I meet her and I'm like, yeah, I wanted another year of this.
- [39:38]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. No. And so you got to lock it down now.
- [39:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I wanted to marry her right away. But then I said, I gotta know because I had cheated on my ex girlfriend. And I was like, I can't do that to her. I can't do that to myself. Like, I just, you know, so I gotta see if I can do this.
- [39:55]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [39:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So we start dating. And I say, all right, I'm gonna give myself like two years. So if I can do it for two years.
- [40:02]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [40:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And the next week I get a job hosting a game show on mtv which lasts for two seasons, which means I'm doing college shows. And now I'm making big money and I got tons of girls in the audience.
- [40:16]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [40:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And. And I managed. I got through two years of that.
- [40:20]
Matt Fulcher
That's love.
- [40:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I was like, all right, now, now I know we can get married. Yeah. Then I proposed.
- [40:24]
Matt Fulcher
Right. That's beautiful.
- [40:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I've since cheated on her. Like it's a varsity sport.
- [40:28]
Matt Fulcher
You have to.
- [40:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. You know, I mean, I did those two years.
- [40:31]
Matt Fulcher
You got to stay sane.
- [40:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [40:32]
Matt Fulcher
After that, two years. I mean, a good guy.
- [40:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, also, look at me now. Cheating now. It's a much higher threshold. The bar is a lot higher for me to get a woman.
- [40:42]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, dude. It gets. It gets harder. Who knew?
- [40:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She can't begrudge me that.
- [40:47]
Matt Fulcher
You deserve it.
- [40:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, I deserve.
- [40:49]
Matt Fulcher
You work hard.
- [40:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I earned it.
- [40:50]
Matt Fulcher
Your house is paid off. Yeah.
- [40:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right. If I divorce now, you know?
- [40:54]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, yeah.
- [40:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I love my wife.
- [40:58]
Matt Fulcher
I assumed.
- [40:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I am. I'm. Jesus Christ. I don't. I'm trying to think. I know one friend of mine who cheats on his wife, and he's totally comfortable with it. He doesn't do it a lot, but when he does, he's just like, yeah, it was great.
- [41:14]
Matt Fulcher
I met somebody recently who was just like, yeah. I finally found my. My soulmate side piece.
- [41:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Really?
- [41:20]
Matt Fulcher
He's got a wife. He's like, but I finally found who's gonna be my. My. My side piece for, like, forever.
- [41:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No shit.
- [41:28]
Matt Fulcher
Like, committing to a side piece.
- [41:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Really?
- [41:30]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. He's like, I'm in love.
- [41:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She was comfortable with the role.
- [41:34]
Matt Fulcher
I suppose. I didn't ask too much. It made me a little uncomfortable.
- [41:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Yeah.
- [41:38]
Matt Fulcher
You know?
- [41:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [41:39]
Matt Fulcher
But I thought it was hilarious. I don't think he's Italian, but he's definitely East Coast.
- [41:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [41:45]
Matt Fulcher
Like the east coast flavor, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [41:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It seems to me that the previous generation, you might even have to go back two generations, that the side piece was almost accepted by everybody. I mean, wives, everybody.
- [42:03]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. Fridays were for wives, but Saturdays were always for girlfriends.
- [42:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [42:07]
Matt Fulcher
It's a good fellas, right?
- [42:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yep. And my dad didn't cheat. I would have known.
- [42:13]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I don't think my dad did either.
- [42:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [42:16]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [42:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But what if, say, you wanted to try having sex with a guy.
- [42:22]
Matt Fulcher
Okay.
- [42:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Do you think your wife would be like, well, it's a life experience you've never had. I'll give you a pass on a guy.
- [42:30]
Matt Fulcher
My wife would consider it.
- [42:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She would.
- [42:31]
Matt Fulcher
She's. She's, like, cool like that.
- [42:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [42:34]
Matt Fulcher
And she constantly brings up, like, cheating to the point where I'm like, do you want me to cheat?
- [42:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, really?
- [42:39]
Matt Fulcher
She's always pointing out other women or, like, you know that. Where you have a list of celebrities you could buy.
- [42:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [42:45]
Matt Fulcher
She's always asking me to add to it or create it. I never. I'm not. I go, I got no list. I got no list.
- [42:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [42:51]
Matt Fulcher
Like, I got married at 47. I'm not looking to play the field.
- [42:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [42:55]
Matt Fulcher
And I'm smart enough to know it's a, a bad idea to really cheat, but B, like, why even joke about it? Because I feel like things are gonna come back and bite you in the ass sooner or later. Because then. Because then, like, one time I had like a bottle of Condition. If she finds something in the house that she doesn't recognize, she thinks I'm cheating.
- [43:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [43:17]
Matt Fulcher
Like, I had a bottle of her conditioner on my end table one time and she was just like, what's that? I'm like, it's conditioner. She's like, why is it in here? She had been out of town. Why is it in here? I'm like, I was using it to jerk off. And she's just like, oh, thank God. Thank God you're only jerking off. I'm not only jerking off.
- [43:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [43:36]
Matt Fulcher
It's Pandora's box when you're gone.
- [43:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She's like, why is your pubic hair so shiny and soft?
- [43:43]
Matt Fulcher
I can put a comb right through it. A brush.
- [43:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, yeah, whatever.
- [43:47]
Matt Fulcher
But that. And I heard you and Ian talking about this. You never. You never like, trim your pubes or anything when your wife is out of town?
- [43:53]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
- [43:54]
Matt Fulcher
Or when you're out of town?
- [43:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
- [43:55]
Matt Fulcher
No. Red flag.
- [43:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right?
- [43:56]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [43:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right. And come when she comes back. Be horny.
- [43:59]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [44:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Be sex starved.
- [44:02]
Matt Fulcher
Sure.
- [44:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
When I come off the road, I throw a move right away. It's not going to be accepted generally.
- [44:07]
Matt Fulcher
Sure.
- [44:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But you throw it.
- [44:08]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. The suggestion, the effort.
- [44:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. I think it's. It's thought.
- [44:12]
Matt Fulcher
Passion.
- [44:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. A thought, a passionate, and then a pass. But it's a. It's an appreciative pass.
- [44:19]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, man. You got to show appreciation.
- [44:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [44:22]
Matt Fulcher
It's something I didn't know as a young man.
- [44:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [44:24]
Matt Fulcher
Like, just put the. They tell you exactly what they want you to do. Not in the moment.
- [44:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [44:29]
Matt Fulcher
But like, oh, you know, be treated like she's the most beautiful woman in the world. Which my wife is.
- [44:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She was standing naked today. She got up and she's putting her clothes on, and I grabbed her from behind and I rolled over onto the bed with her on top of me and was grabbing her tits and she was squirming and saying, get off of me. But she was laughing.
- [44:54]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [44:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I knew we weren't gonna have sex.
- [44:56]
Matt Fulcher
Sure.
- [44:57]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But I just got off the road.
- [44:58]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [44:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She needs. She needs that.
- [45:00]
Matt Fulcher
She needs some attention.
- [45:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
- [45:01]
Matt Fulcher
She needs to know that you wanna fuck her.
- [45:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right. And when did you first start thinking about having sex with a man?
- [45:09]
Matt Fulcher
About five minutes ago. I think your producer can actually lock it down to what time of day it was.
- [45:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Would she consider a three way? Or have you had a three way with her?
- [45:22]
Matt Fulcher
She would, but I'm not. I'm not messing with that.
- [45:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
What's the closest you came to it. With her.
- [45:28]
Matt Fulcher
With her not her suggesting that it would be okay if we did. I like her pointing out a certain bartender.
- [45:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Really?
- [45:36]
Matt Fulcher
But I'm. I'm too smart for all that. That's not going to go well.
- [45:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
In what way?
- [45:41]
Matt Fulcher
I. I don't think it's good for.
- [45:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Lay out the scenarios for me.
- [45:48]
Matt Fulcher
She sees me enjoying myself.
- [45:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [45:50]
Matt Fulcher
She's fine with the idea. Ha ha ha. Wouldn't that be cute? I'm open minded. I'm a woman of 20, 25.
- [45:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [45:57]
Matt Fulcher
Then she actually sees it.
- [45:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [45:59]
Matt Fulcher
She's like. You like her more than me, right? That type of scenario.
- [46:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Because you, while making love to this other woman, you have to make sure you're showing. And meanwhile, that's like, you know, pulling up to a Ferrari dealership in a, you know, a Miata and being excited about the new Mustang.
- [46:19]
Matt Fulcher
Sure. She. But the Miata's watching you, like.
- [46:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, yeah.
- [46:23]
Matt Fulcher
I guess we're all paid off. But I guess it's not good enough for you.
- [46:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, when I think about the positions, they have to almost always involve eye contact with your wife, you have.
- [46:32]
Matt Fulcher
To put a lot of effort into it and you have to make sure that she feels like she's the most important person there. And at that point, it's like, why even bother?
- [46:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, in a three way, it's overrated.
- [46:44]
Matt Fulcher
In the first place, by the way.
- [46:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Have you had three ways?
- [46:47]
Matt Fulcher
I have just one.
- [46:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Who is the other guy?
- [46:53]
Matt Fulcher
Do you know Louis ck? You're friends with him, right?
- [46:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So, yeah, I've, I've. I've actually had the Devils three way twice. The two guys or the Kavanaugh. Some call it the Kavanaugh now. Yeah. And it's not. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's a young man sport.
- [47:10]
Matt Fulcher
Sure. These are all young man sports.
- [47:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. But I think with the three way, not everybody's being gratified at all times. Sometimes you're like a caddy. And so you got to make sure your wife's not the caddy. There needs to always be somebody making her happy.
- [47:28]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, for sure. And that gets complicated.
- [47:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
- [47:31]
Matt Fulcher
You've got to. You've got to plan this.
- [47:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [47:33]
Matt Fulcher
Like a, like a video production.
- [47:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Now I remember there was a great Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George are planning a three way for Jerry to have.
- [47:41]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [47:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And George had stayed up all night and he had flowcharts like an old pie chart, like. And he showed up the next day, his hair is ruffled, his shirt's fucked up. And he's got these graphs, and he shows Jerry how it can work. And then he looks at me, he goes, do you ever get on your knees and thank God that you have access to my dementia?
- [48:04]
Matt Fulcher
I love it.
- [48:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Greatest line in Seinfeld history.
- [48:07]
Matt Fulcher
And I love when the three way gets approved.
- [48:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [48:11]
Matt Fulcher
And he's like, I'm not going to do it.
- [48:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Yeah.
- [48:13]
Matt Fulcher
And he was like, I would need robes and lotions and orgy friends.
- [48:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right? Right. Yeah.
- [48:21]
Matt Fulcher
You know, I don't think you can plan a three way. I think a three way just has to happen.
- [48:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Unless you're the guy. Like, my wife said to me that she'd be up for it as long as it happens spontaneously.
- [48:32]
Matt Fulcher
Okay.
- [48:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And we got real close. One night we were at this. It was like a premiere party. And it was cocktail, a cocktail lounge. It was dark, it was cool music, and it had a good vibe.
- [48:48]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [48:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And this publicist comes over and she's in like a sexy black mini skirt suit, you know, and she sits down with us, but she's focusing on my wife.
- [49:01]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [49:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And my wife is super hot.
- [49:04]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [49:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Hotter than your wife. And she. She puts her hand. She puts her hand on my wife's knee. And I go, all right, I need to keep this going. So I keep going to the bar and bringing drink.
- [49:18]
Matt Fulcher
Right?
- [49:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Bringing drinks. This is going off for like 45 minutes.
- [49:21]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [49:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I'm ready to go. Like, all right, let's get to the valet. Let's figure out the. I'm planning who. Whose car we're going to take. Right. Do we go hotel? I was thinking hotel.
- [49:32]
Matt Fulcher
Sure.
- [49:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And so. And then some. It was like, who was it that came over? I can't remember. The celebrity came over, who was a client and yanked her out so that he could talk about his skit. And it just was over. And so I thought to myself, the move is, I go to a high end escort agency, okay. And I hire a woman and I tell her what restaurant we're going to be at and then have her show up and flirt with us.
- [50:03]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [50:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then it's an easy close.
- [50:05]
Matt Fulcher
Right. Do you think your wife would be upset if it works out? And then she finds out that you hired you. You hired someone.
- [50:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Like, we're all putting our clothes on, and her phone rings and she's like, yeah, I'll meet you at the mat.
- [50:20]
Matt Fulcher
Honey, do you have any cash?
- [50:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [50:23]
Matt Fulcher
You take Venmo to 300 bucks on you.
- [50:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You'll.
- [50:31]
Matt Fulcher
Plus the till.
- [50:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Exhausting tip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that Would be. Especially if you were really going at it with the hooker and then the hookers. She takes the call.
- [50:43]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [50:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And the wife's. She's sitting three feet away. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [50:48]
Matt Fulcher
She's like, 2:30. Yeah, I can be there.
- [50:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Well, what about your wife? Did she ever have a three way. Have you asked her?
- [50:55]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. In fact, one time we were having dinner and she's like, oh, my God, look who's calling me. She holds up my phone, her phone, and it just says, three way.
- [51:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No way.
- [51:05]
Matt Fulcher
She's like, yeah, except three ways with this couple. I'm like, I'm like, we're past this. We're past us casually talking about. Yeah, you know, you don't.
- [51:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Like, you didn't want to know at that moment.
- [51:18]
Matt Fulcher
I mean, who really cares, right? But that moment, I was like, you don't have to tell me everything. Yeah, you don't have to tell me three ways. Calling you right now, trying to enjoy the salad, and you're talking about. So it was a dick and pussy pass.
- [51:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Was it multiple times or was it a one?
- [51:34]
Matt Fulcher
I didn't ask too many questions.
- [51:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Should we call her?
- [51:37]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, let's call her right now. I'm an orgy in her phone. That's how we met.
- [51:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It just says him. Yeah, him. Dot, dot, dot. Yeah, well, I've never had phone sex.
- [51:52]
Matt Fulcher
I've never had phone sex either. I've done a couple texting back and forth, which is kind of weird.
- [51:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [51:58]
Matt Fulcher
Because you're just working that phone. And this one, the one of the times it was on one of those old burner phones. Yeah, we have to press it like 1, 2, 3 C. Oh, God. Yeah, you. You know, so it's just taking forever.
- [52:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [52:10]
Matt Fulcher
But what can I tell you? It was exciting at the time.
- [52:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Jesus.
- [52:14]
Matt Fulcher
But I'm not necessarily into it. I've never called a. A 900 number.
- [52:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Never called a 900.
- [52:20]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [52:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I've never paid for a video on the Internet.
- [52:25]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, me neither.
- [52:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I can't even remember buying a porn magazine.
- [52:31]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, I did. Especially when I first moved to. I remember I bought a Penthouse from like a really nice.
- [52:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
If I was gonna buy store. Penthouse. Yeah.
- [52:40]
Matt Fulcher
And it was. It was in Maryland. It was in like a very suburban area. And I took the Penthouse up to. To the front counter and this young, cute girl, she's like, hey. You know, because I was young and cute, she was young and cute. Like, hey. And then I just. I didn't buy anything else. You're supposed to buy like 10 books and a Penthouse and she just immediately, like, lost her smile.
- [53:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh. Yeah.
- [53:02]
Matt Fulcher
I. I don't know. I don't think this is much of faux pas today. It'd be more like, why are you buying a magazine in general?
- [53:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, I was thinking about this because, you know, there's a few states where when you go there, I don't know if you've experienced this. Oh, I have. You go to Texas and you try to watch porn.
- [53:17]
Matt Fulcher
You can't.
- [53:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You can't. It stops you. And then you have to actually hold up your driver's license.
- [53:24]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [53:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
To the camera to get through, which is like such a invasion. It's, like, hard to imagine. So I do it and. And I get through. And now I'm like, I'm on the grid now. I'm sure, like, they're watching me through the camera on my. Yeah, because now they've used the camera, dude.
- [53:41]
Matt Fulcher
And they got your face and your name and your address.
- [53:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So I got a band aid out of my medicine bag and I put it over the.
- [53:49]
Matt Fulcher
The camera.
- [53:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
The camera.
- [53:50]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, that's. I mean, it's a good plan. You should really be doing that anyway.
- [53:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [53:55]
Matt Fulcher
What would you do if someone's like, we got your jerk off video. We can send it to you to prove that we have it. Like, give us $500,000.
- [54:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, did you see that episode of.
- [54:07]
Matt Fulcher
Black Mirror, the one with the pig?
- [54:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No. Oh, what was this one where there's a teenage kid and he's jerking off and they send him a video.
- [54:14]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, yeah.
- [54:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And they say, we also have your. All your email addresses and we're going to blast it to everybody.
- [54:22]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [54:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
If you don't. And they had him go kill somebody.
- [54:25]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I think I have seen this. Yeah.
- [54:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [54:27]
Matt Fulcher
So, I mean.
- [54:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, I'm sure it happens. Like, who knows? I mean, those cameras are sitting there. I actually bought a switch. There's a little sliding thing you can put on and off.
- [54:38]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [54:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That I have. And I just think, like, you know. Well, anyway, getting back to the reason I brought it up is that now it's illegal. And I wonder if magazines are going to come back and it's almost going to be like, you know how hipsters have vinyl now?
- [54:57]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [54:57]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I wonder if hipsters are going to go to, like, magazines.
- [55:00]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I had a joke for a little bit. Like, I'm going to be telling my grandchildren I used to jerk off to still photographs.
- [55:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [55:06]
Matt Fulcher
But, like, how crazy is that? Like, it's just a picture. It's a major regression. But I like what you're saying. And I think it could happen. And with the. The abortion thing, I'm sure it's all vasectomies and magazines at some of these places.
- [55:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right, Right. Yeah. I can remember the first time I didn't see a porn. I mean, I'm. How old are you?
- [55:28]
Matt Fulcher
I'm 50.
- [55:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, so you're. You maybe saw porn earlier than I did. I'm 58, and I literally did not see porn porn. I saw it once when I was about 13, and I. I live. I. My. My best friend was this kid, David Ar, and he lived down in the projects. We had projects where I grew up.
- [55:47]
Matt Fulcher
Okay.
- [55:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And so I'm sitting in his apartment with his older brother, Hector.
- [55:52]
Matt Fulcher
Okay.
- [55:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Who's now in jail for life for cocaine trafficking.
- [55:56]
Matt Fulcher
All right. Congratulations, Hector.
- [55:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And so Hector had a reel to reel projector, and he was showing porn.
- [56:03]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [56:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And Hector was probably five years older than us.
- [56:06]
Matt Fulcher
Okay.
- [56:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I'm watching the porn, and then he reaches over and I had a boner and he grabs it and he goes, hey, you get a little excited there. You had this Colombian accent. Hey, look at you. I got a banana in your pants.
- [56:20]
Matt Fulcher
Right?
- [56:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And like, I remember being like. Like, it was awkward, but it wasn't until years later I went like, oh, no. That was like borderline molestation.
- [56:30]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
- [56:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [56:31]
Matt Fulcher
That's the Different Strokes episode come to life. Yeah, but you already, like, at that time. I don't know what it's like now, but I felt like disturbed after I saw porn, even though I was drawn to it.
- [56:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [56:44]
Matt Fulcher
I was like, I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school, and it wasn't like nobody told you about porn. You just stumble upon it one day. Like, my friend's dad had some magazines and he stole them. And we had them in our clubhouse and we just look at the porn together, like three or four of us, and you are getting a chubby. Luckily, nobody grabbed my stuff.
- [57:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But you guys never did, like, jerk.
- [57:07]
Matt Fulcher
No.
- [57:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
A lot of guys jerk off in front of each other when they're kids.
- [57:10]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, I've heard. I've heard about this. I've heard. My friend said he had, and this was like 18, 19, 20 years old. My friend had these skateboarder friends who would watch porn together and put newspaper down on the floor.
- [57:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No. Really? I wonder what section they use.
- [57:28]
Matt Fulcher
And they tried. Probably not the sports section.
- [57:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, distracting. But I mean, entertainment.
- [57:35]
Matt Fulcher
Like, nobody cared about the news when you're 20 years old in 1993. Like, we just. It's a different world. We didn't care about politics.
- [57:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [57:44]
Matt Fulcher
Anything like that.
- [57:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [57:45]
Matt Fulcher
Government was boring, and you could come all over Bill Clinton's face or Monica. Sure.
- [57:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But, yeah, and then you got. Now it's like, we got a magazine, and like you said, you got it from your friend's dad. You didn't have any choice. I can remember Barbie Benton was like, the celebrity that was nude. And, like, I got to know her very well. Like, that was. I didn't have a lot of choice. I had, like, two magazines under my mattress, and I looked at them for years. So you had to use your imagination. You.
- [58:20]
Matt Fulcher
You did. And you had to just take whatever you could find. I remember we would pass around skateboard videos on vhs, you know, because they were hard to get. Skate shops weren't really near my place. And there was one. It was like two skate videos. And then all of a sudden, Hard Bodies was on. And so now I'm watching Hard Bodies, which is pretty. It's both tame and gratuitous compared to nowadays because, like, what's Hard Bodies? Hard Bodies is this movie where everybody's just in a bikini.
- [58:47]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
- [58:48]
Matt Fulcher
And. And. And their breasts are always out for no reason. There's like a. There's like a photo shoot scene. I never made it past that.
- [58:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of those cable movies, like USA Network.
- [58:59]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. It's almost like softcore porn.
- [59:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [59:01]
Matt Fulcher
In a way.
- [59:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [59:02]
Matt Fulcher
It's just so. I mean, these were innocent times. You'd be super excited. The flip side of that is there were just nipples in a movie. Every chance they could get, there would be a topless woman.
- [59:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
- [59:15]
Matt Fulcher
For no reason at all.
- [59:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Even in comedies.
- [59:17]
Matt Fulcher
Especially in comedies.
- [59:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Like, there's very few comedies in history that used nudity productively like I think Animal House did, because it was so much a part of their mindset.
- [59:28]
Matt Fulcher
But think about how they use it productively. It's like. It's like guys spying on women.
- [59:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [59:33]
Matt Fulcher
It's like. It's not that productive.
- [59:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [59:35]
Matt Fulcher
In as things of the story. Yeah. Even in Stripes, John Larroquette has the. The binoculars looking at the women's showers. Like, there's going to be 20 hot women in the army.
- [59:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Right.
- [59:47]
Matt Fulcher
No offense out there, but 20. 20.
- [59:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [59:52]
Matt Fulcher
I mean, it's like Porky's as based around nudity.
- [59:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. But if you watch Porky's today. I rewatched it because it was like the 50th anniversary, and they sent me the DVDs because they wanted me to interview somebody from the movie. And I Watched it, dude. It's a dark movie.
- [60:13]
Matt Fulcher
It's about.
- [60:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
With serious issues.
- [60:15]
Matt Fulcher
Racism and child abuse.
- [60:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's about racism, child abuse, abortion, all happening. I think it's in, like, Indiana.
- [60:22]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. So. So the first half of the movie is all these teenage problems in the 50s, and you're like, whoa, this is going on in the 50s? And then the last half hour is them just, like, attacking Porky's house.
- [60:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. And there's Nazis.
- [60:33]
Matt Fulcher
Nazis, right.
- [60:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's wild, right? It's crazy. So I forgot. Yeah. You're like a real cinemaphile.
- [60:42]
Matt Fulcher
I know. What? I know.
- [60:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [60:44]
Matt Fulcher
I'm like Beetlejuice. I know.
- [60:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right, right, right. Yeah. You and I got to know each other. We were writing on a TV show for Bill Burr's company this past year.
- [60:54]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [60:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
We have no idea where it's at now because there was a corporate restructuring.
- [60:59]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [61:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Which is just like 90% of the projects I've worked on in my life.
- [61:04]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [61:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Get lost in a corporate restructuring.
- [61:07]
Matt Fulcher
There's always some change. There's always some this. Yeah.
- [61:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [61:11]
Matt Fulcher
And you can't really get any answers as to where.
- [61:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Now, that's why you gotta always have five, three to five things happening at any given time.
- [61:19]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [61:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Even if three of them are things that you create from scratch.
- [61:22]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [61:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Like a podcast.
- [61:23]
Matt Fulcher
That's what I was gonna say.
- [61:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
How long's your podcast been going on?
- [61:26]
Matt Fulcher
It's been going on and off for, like, 12 years.
- [61:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
On and off.
- [61:29]
Matt Fulcher
Well, I did it for, like, 10 years and I was just like, I can't because I moved to New York and I was doing it over Zoom.
- [61:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [61:35]
Matt Fulcher
With my co hosts. And I'm like. I just kind of got tired of it.
- [61:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [61:39]
Matt Fulcher
And. But then I missed it and I brought it back, Especially when I came back to LA and had a great studio over at All Things Comedy.
- [61:47]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, yeah.
- [61:47]
Matt Fulcher
Which. Yeah. We got the good video.
- [61:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So do you. Did you find a drop off in your viewership when you came back?
- [61:55]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, of course.
- [61:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [61:57]
Matt Fulcher
Of course. I don't recommend.
- [61:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Because I've been doing this for 14 years and I'm. I'm so burnt. And I would love to take six months off, but I just know that my listenership would just go away.
- [62:09]
Matt Fulcher
You can't. You've got to keep on. You've got to keep going. And even if you're just putting out, like 20 minutes or a half an hour, one week or what.
- [62:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's true.
- [62:15]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I could do that. It's about the consistency. That's.
- [62:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [62:18]
Matt Fulcher
Tom Segura. Told me as soon as I started my first podcast, he was like, it's about consistency. Make sure it comes out on the same day every week.
- [62:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [62:27]
Matt Fulcher
And again, management skills. Like, I would have never known that. But of course, that makes perfect sense.
- [62:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I know I want to do. It's weird. I have three podcasts now and I feel like I want to do one.
- [62:41]
Matt Fulcher
Everyone's got two.
- [62:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, everyone's got two.
- [62:43]
Matt Fulcher
Three is a lot.
- [62:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Three.
- [62:45]
Matt Fulcher
Well, three is a lot.
- [62:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
One of them's a. Every other week. And it's really easy. We just. Basically, it's me and Allison Rosen.
- [62:52]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, cool. Yeah, I like her.
- [62:53]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. So we do a thing called childish where I've got grown kids, she's got little kids, and I'm teaching her how to parent, but she's not really buying it.
- [63:02]
Matt Fulcher
That's. That's a really good thing because, like, when we first started podcasts, it was like, hey, I'm a comedian and I'm telling you about my week. Which was like very valuable information back then. Now everybody knows everything.
- [63:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [63:13]
Matt Fulcher
I got off stage in Cleveland one time and this audience member wanted to, you know, like, go over my set. You messed up up front. You really got him at the end. And I'm like, this isn't like.
- [63:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
People always say to me because I sell my merch after the show.
- [63:28]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [63:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And they always. And I, I would stand up front anyway because I, I generally like to thank people for coming.
- [63:34]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [63:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And inevitably somebody goes, hey, I got a tag for you. And I always go, no, thank you. I go, there's absolutely no chance that it's going to be something I would use.
- [63:45]
Matt Fulcher
And then you have to sit through it. They think they're going to spit it out in 10 seconds. It takes a minute and a half.
- [63:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And now 20 people have walked by that you could have been selling your merch to that you missed so that you can hear this.
- [63:58]
Matt Fulcher
This. You're never gonna use this tag.
- [64:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's a like, if it happened on the street, I might be like, okay, sure. But I'm trying to move merch, baby.
- [64:08]
Matt Fulcher
They're fucking.
- [64:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I got pins that people need to.
- [64:10]
Matt Fulcher
Be wearing, fucking you up.
- [64:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, let's get to fastballs with fits.
- [64:14]
Matt Fulcher
Okay.
- [64:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You still swimming?
- [64:17]
Matt Fulcher
I'm still swimming. It's kind of the answer to my middle aged problems. It keeps me calm, keeps my blood pressure down.
- [64:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You don't sweat when you're working out. That's the best part about swimming.
- [64:31]
Matt Fulcher
You're sweating.
- [64:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, really?
- [64:33]
Matt Fulcher
You're sweating when you get out of the pool. You know, you've been sweating.
- [64:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Really?
- [64:36]
Matt Fulcher
I mean, it's really gross to swim in a public pool if you think about it.
- [64:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [64:39]
Matt Fulcher
I mean, you don't even have to think about it that much.
- [64:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I don't. I don't swim in public. I won't do it.
- [64:44]
Matt Fulcher
I'm fine.
- [64:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Especially if there's kids in there.
- [64:46]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I'm. I'm just like, whatever. And this, these are public pools. And so it's already kind of sketchy. Like there's no lockers. You have to hand your bag to a locker attendant.
- [64:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [64:56]
Matt Fulcher
And then there's also like homeless people using the sinks in the showers.
- [65:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, really?
- [65:02]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. Like, it's not that bad until you see someone shaving and then you're like, this is right. Too much.
- [65:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And do you find you loiter in the men's room more than. Yeah, Most guys would.
- [65:13]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I'm trying to get a devil's three way going.
- [65:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
My wife.
- [65:16]
Matt Fulcher
I want to recruit people. No. You know what's crazy is this is unprecedented. I've been around for half a century. This locker room, they'll talk to you. You're not allowed to be nude in the locker room.
- [65:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Not allowed.
- [65:30]
Matt Fulcher
You're not allowed to be naked in the locker room. You're supposed to go.
- [65:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Because there's boys in there.
- [65:35]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. Or whatever. And so instead of like policing the whole thing, they're just like cut and dry rule. But it's the locker room.
- [65:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So what do they have little changing rooms? You go.
- [65:43]
Matt Fulcher
They call them changing rooms. They're fucking toilets. Anyways, I love going there. I make it sound like I don't, but.
- [65:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, the worst thing about a toilet in a locker room for a pool is that normally I can gauge if it's wet around the bowl. I take a very wide stance.
- [66:00]
Matt Fulcher
Sure.
- [66:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Because it's. I assume it's urine, but in a pool it's wet because some people are coming out of the pool.
- [66:06]
Matt Fulcher
Always assume it's your.
- [66:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. You know, I'm going to sell this T shirts after my show.
- [66:11]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, totally.
- [66:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay. Who's your best male friend?
- [66:16]
Matt Fulcher
That's a tough one. I can think of two people and I'd hate to choose right now. I'm going to go with my buddy Tim. I also love my buddy Randy. I've known both these. I've known Tim since he was. We were both 14 years old. We were in a homeroom together, and he lives a mile from me here in Los Angeles, and he's a professional graffiti artist.
- [66:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Really?
- [66:43]
Matt Fulcher
Always. It's always interesting to talk to him.
- [66:47]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And was he like that when he was 14? Was he an artist?
- [66:50]
Matt Fulcher
He was always an artist. And then we went to college together, so we're like. We're, like, pretty. We've had a lot of the same things. And I got these skateboarders to come over the dorm room, you know, because I was way into skateboarding.
- [67:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [67:04]
Matt Fulcher
And. But they're graffiti writers. And so next thing I know, everyone's just sitting around the dorm room sketching in their pads, and I got nobody to skate with.
- [67:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [67:13]
Matt Fulcher
And they totally turn. It's kind of cool that he's been in the Smithsonian, and I was there the first day he broke.
- [67:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's really cool.
- [67:23]
Matt Fulcher
I told. I told my buddy Tosh. I was like, yeah, my friend's in the Smithsonian for graffiti. And he's like, wow, he must be really good at vandalism.
- [67:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
What's the closest you ever got to a fist fight on stage?
- [67:42]
Matt Fulcher
I don't know about a fist fight. There was somebody. I was in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, and this dude was getting mad, and he. He looked kind of like a Capitol rioter. And he was getting up and, like. And then I did something about abortion, and he kind of lost his mind, and there was no security there, and there was also no green room there. So I just kind of told the. I played the best gigs, Greg. And I told the. I. I told the owner. He goes over, and he talks to the guy, and the guy. And he comes back. He's. He don't want to fight you. I'm like, you just got to take his word for it. Can't you take my word for it? So I'm just hiding in the sound booth like a Howard.
- [68:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Wow. You know, how long ago is this?
- [68:23]
Matt Fulcher
This is 2019. Damn. Yeah. So that's probably the closest.
- [68:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [68:28]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I've gotten in too many confrontations on stage. I used to take the bait. I used to think it was kind of like hockey, and if somebody wanted to disrespect you, it was time to go.
- [68:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [68:37]
Matt Fulcher
And I thought that was, like, part of the show. I don't think that anymore.
- [68:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
- [68:42]
Matt Fulcher
I think it's just kind of like, say your thing. All right, fair enough. And then if you got something, say it back to them. But, like, the whole fighting is crazy. Yeah.
- [68:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But it depends on my mood. There's times where if a guy challenges me and I really hate everything he stands for.
- [68:58]
Matt Fulcher
Sure.
- [68:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Then I can get into the mode where I especially. Well, if there's door. Guys. I do this, I will try to implode that guy from the inside out.
- [69:08]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [69:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I will find out his weak spot.
- [69:11]
Matt Fulcher
Right.
- [69:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I will play on it, and I'll use his words against him.
- [69:15]
Matt Fulcher
Wow.
- [69:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Until the crowd is laughing at him.
- [69:18]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [69:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then I want his head to explode.
- [69:20]
Matt Fulcher
Sure. Yeah.
- [69:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then they have to drag him out screaming.
- [69:22]
Matt Fulcher
Right, right, right, right, right.
- [69:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Now, that's not my first choice, but if I'm in the wrong mood.
- [69:27]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [69:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I will do that.
- [69:28]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. Hey, fair enough. Sounds like it works. Sounds like you're good at it.
- [69:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [69:32]
Matt Fulcher
And are you saying they always have to be dragged out, or do they eventually get humiliated enough that they have that they just shut up and keep watching the show?
- [69:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. Sometimes they do that.
- [69:41]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [69:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Which is not as good as them being thrown out. When they get thrown out, you got five. Once they get thrown out, you've got five to 10 minutes of deconstructing what just happened to roars from the audience. You're a fucking hero to them now.
- [69:59]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [70:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Because you've purged somebody bad out of the crowd.
- [70:02]
Matt Fulcher
Totally. Yeah. I was opening for Steve O a long time ago when he first started doing stand up, and I remember I kicked somebody out and they said, steve O's in the green room. Like the opener can kick people out. This one. This one did.
- [70:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Hilarious. Who's your best Asian friend?
- [70:21]
Matt Fulcher
Off the top of my head, I'm gonna say Kevin Shea.
- [70:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, Kevin Shea.
- [70:27]
Matt Fulcher
Guy out of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. You know, he really is my Irish friend, though. His last name's Shay. And we used to get hammered together.
- [70:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [70:37]
Matt Fulcher
And just roll around Hollywood and. And he, you know, he.
- [70:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
He was a funny good cop.
- [70:44]
Matt Fulcher
He's bad cop.
- [70:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [70:45]
Matt Fulcher
Like, he would say kind of shitty things to people, and I'd be like. And then I would come in and be like, hey, this guy's all right. He's just dumb or whatever.
- [70:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [70:52]
Matt Fulcher
And we would, like. We would meet a lot of people playing that game. We were playing a game. It's just who we are.
- [70:57]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [70:57]
Matt Fulcher
As people, you know.
- [70:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right. That's pretty good.
- [70:59]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [71:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
When's the last time you apologized to somebody?
- [71:05]
Matt Fulcher
I was thinking about that because I was listening to another episode, and it's probably to my wife because I think I apologize at least once a week. But because of that, I can't remember specifically what I was apologizing about, but I do know I was kind of to go about six months back. I was trashing her gift giving skills on my podcast.
- [71:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [71:33]
Matt Fulcher
Because I've kind of been like, gift shamed in the relationship. Like, there's always kind of like, you can tell this gift isn't good enough, and, like, it gets to the sisters and they kind of. It's kind of like a group analysis.
- [71:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [71:46]
Matt Fulcher
To the point where I do a good job. They're like, the whole family calls me and like, you crushed it.
- [71:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
There you go.
- [71:52]
Matt Fulcher
And she's a great gift giver, but she's not a perfect gift giver. In other words, she has given something that's not a home run before. But I'm always like, it's great, it's great, it's great. And I was just kind of. It was a weird thing where, like, my co host was answer asking me questions too quickly, and I didn't have a time to think about anything. And then I just said all this shit. And I'm like, but I got to put out this podcast. I got nothing in the bank. And I felt bad for her because she does put.
- [72:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Did she listen to your podcast?
- [72:21]
Matt Fulcher
She. She. At certain times.
- [72:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's gotta stop.
- [72:25]
Matt Fulcher
Becomes like a producer. Like, hey, I didn't really say that. You know what I mean?
- [72:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Wait, is she there when you're taping it?
- [72:32]
Matt Fulcher
No, no, no, no.
- [72:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She listens to it later.
- [72:34]
Matt Fulcher
She loves me so much that, like, we're not hanging out and I'll be like, oh, cool, I finally got some time to myself to write or whatever. I'll go out in the living room. And she's listening to my podcast.
- [72:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's like reading your diary. It's.
- [72:48]
Matt Fulcher
It's stopped, you know, it has. It's kind of dissipated. Yeah, naturally. And that's. That's just how it's going.
- [72:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I think that's the reason why our marriage lasted. She has never once listened to one of my podcasts, and she comes to see me do stand up once a year at my St. Patrick's Day show.
- [73:08]
Matt Fulcher
My wife's like, Lucy Ricardo. She's like, I want to come to this.
- [73:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Really?
- [73:12]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. And I have to divvy it out because most shows you don't want to bring what me and my friend would call luggage.
- [73:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Like, you don't want to be navigating.
- [73:22]
Matt Fulcher
Some of these jerky guys. Or like, and you need to go here and you need to go there, and you need to get your head together and you need to be anonymous and you're at work. I remember one time I was hanging with Gene Pompa at the Comedy and Magic Club, and a guy named Daniel Kino came by. With his girlfriend. And Gene said something that embarrassed the shit out of the girlfriend. I forget why, what he said. Then they walk in and Gene turns to me, goes, that's why I don't bring my girlfriend to work. Somebody always says something stupid. It's like it was you.
- [73:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [73:50]
Matt Fulcher
You're the one that said something stupid. You're the asshole.
- [73:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, Matt.
- [74:01]
Matt Fulcher
Yes.
- [74:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
What can I say? You. We've been trying to get you on this show for a long time. I'm glad it finally happened. Yes.
- [74:08]
Matt Fulcher
Perfect time.
- [74:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You were a great guest.
- [74:10]
Matt Fulcher
Thank you. I'm going on tour. I wanted to.
- [74:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I know. I got your dates. Don't worry about it. I got your fucking dates.
- [74:15]
Matt Fulcher
Oh, good.
- [74:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You're going to be at Flappers this week.
- [74:19]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [74:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Sunday, March 20th, in Louisville.
- [74:23]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [74:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Don't say Louisville. They get very upset.
- [74:25]
Matt Fulcher
I'm no rookie.
- [74:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
March 21st in Cincinnati.
- [74:30]
Matt Fulcher
Cincinnati.
- [74:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Cincinnati.
- [74:32]
Matt Fulcher
Did I spell it wrong?
- [74:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, I purposely said it wrong. Cincinnati, March 23rd in Nashville.
- [74:37]
Matt Fulcher
Yes.
- [74:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's a fun town.
- [74:38]
Matt Fulcher
Totally.
- [74:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You ever been to the Ryman Auditorium?
- [74:41]
Matt Fulcher
I've never been there, no.
- [74:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Try to get in and see a show there if you can. I think it's the best venue to see music in the country. April 17 in Cambridge, Mass. Which is just outside of Boston. It's where Harvard and MIT is.
- [74:53]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I got an update. I'll also be in Brooklyn, New York. Got that date.
- [74:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, yeah.
- [74:59]
Matt Fulcher
On the 16th.
- [75:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
April 16th in Brooklyn. Yep. Wethersfield, Connecticut. April 18th and 19th. I was in a relationship for three. Three girls. Three years with three girls. See, you got really thinking about it now.
- [75:11]
Matt Fulcher
All in the same part of the country.
- [75:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, no, no. I, I dated one girl from Wethersfield, Connecticut, for three years.
- [75:18]
Matt Fulcher
Okay.
- [75:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But she was from, she was from old Wethersfield.
- [75:23]
Matt Fulcher
Gotcha.
- [75:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Because in Connecticut, they're always trying to differentiate.
- [75:27]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah. I, I, I, I was somewhere up there in Connecticut, like, real ritzy, staying in a hotel. And everyone was so rich.
- [75:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [75:34]
Matt Fulcher
At the bar, they wouldn't move out of my way.
- [75:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [75:37]
Matt Fulcher
Because I didn't have the right clothes. Excuse me. And they, like, wouldn't even look at.
- [75:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Connecticut is really.
- [75:41]
Matt Fulcher
But this field. Connecticut.
- [75:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But this woman, Cindy Murtha was her name. And she was the best girlfriend.
- [75:49]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [75:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She was the coolest chick. I really, I really loved her. I love the first time I love somebody outside my family.
- [75:58]
Matt Fulcher
That's nice.
- [75:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Palm coast, Florida, on May 30th.
- [76:02]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah.
- [76:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
July 10th in San Diego. If you want to get tickets, go to fullcharge.com.
- [76:08]
Matt Fulcher
It'S actually the full charge.
- [76:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right. And also on socials, the full charge. If you want to follow him and stay involved in his life, follow me.
- [76:16]
Matt Fulcher
I put out the clips. I entertain the people.
- [76:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's great what you do. Selfless.
- [76:22]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, totally. Totally. Yeah. I get nothing out of it.
- [76:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
- [76:26]
Matt Fulcher
Some days I don't. Most of the time I do.
- [76:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Hey, you can always go for a swim.
- [76:30]
Matt Fulcher
Exactly.
- [76:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Matt, thank you.
- [76:32]
Matt Fulcher
Thank you for having me.
- [76:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
God bless America.
- [76:34]
Matt Fulcher
Yeah, we do it for the country.
- [76:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Do it for the country. What's left of it.
- [76:38]
Matt Fulcher
You said it, I didn't.
- [76:58]
Fred Meyer Ad
Stay warm and save every day. All in the Fred Meyer App get juicy, green seedless grapes for $1.99 a pound with your card and a digital coupon. Then find low prices on thousands of items like sparkling ice water, Kroger brand chips and more with your card. Shop these deals at your local Oregon Fred Meyer today or click the screen now to download the Fred Meyer app to save big today. Fred Meyer Fresh for everyone. Prices and product availability subject to change restrictions apply. See site for details.