Loading summary
Transcript753 lines
- [00:00]
Fred Meyer Ad
New year, same great savings, all in the Fred meyer app. Get 10 for $10 on select varieties of Kroger pasta, Starkist tuna pouches or Powerade. Then get Tender Fresh Heritage Farm boneless chicken breasts for $2.49 a pound, all with your card. Shop these deals at your local Oregon Fred Meyer today or click the screen now to download the Fred Meyer app to save big today. Fred Meyer fresh for everyone. Prices and product availability subject to change restrictions apply. See site for details.
- [00:27]
Rob Hubel
Foreign.
- [00:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. It's the calm before the storm, or it is in real time. I'm recording this on Monday, the 4th of November. It's the evening I have a couple of shitty lights on, so I look kind of yellow and red, which is ominous and haunting, which it should be right now, because at this time tomorrow, the states will be declaring winners, or at least tentative winners. Um, do I think it'll go smoothly? No. Do I think that there will be violence? Yes. Will I vote? Yes. Will I tell you who I'm voting for? No. Will it be Trump? No. Uh, am I endorsing anybody? Absolutely not. Kyle McGovern for New York State Supreme Court, my buddy. I'm. I'm. What are we doing, people? What's happening right now in real time, as you hear this on Wednesday, 6th November, is there anything close to a front runner or a winner? Uh, I don't. I don't know. I'm time traveling right now. I'm wondering. I'm hoping for the best. Best. Um, I just think this country can't be any more angry and confused, and I'm hoping. Thing. I mean, I don't know. What, what. What the hell do I know? Uh, I'm just a guy who's, you know, living in. Living in a Zeko bubble. Like everybody, eco bubble, echo chamber, echo chamber, echo bubble. Whatever we live in, we're all in them. I was trying to chill out. I've been trying to breathe. I've been trying to meditate. I went to yoga class on Sunday, and there was a lot of messages from the yogi, the yoga instructor, that you have to be present and be thankful for where you are at this moment. And I took it in, and I felt on a molecular level. I felt change. There's times when yoga is a meditation that is combined with a physical restorative process. And there are moments where you really do feel transcendent and that there is something in your consciousness that. That improves. And I felt really good. It was the first time I'd Felt really good. And then I was driving home and this guy merged and wasn't letting me in. And so I just went right ahead. And then he got pissed and. Pickup truck, pickup truck alert. They're out there, the big pickup trucks with the four wheels in the back. And there's never any equipment back there. It's just a statement. And the guy's riding my fucking tail. And I get to a yellow light that I could easily make it through and I slow down and I clip it. So I just slide into the turn as it's turning red. And this motherfucker stopped and he honked and I smiled and I said, yes, this is the transcendent moment. This is time and space coming together with my spirit and my. My sense of being a better person. That is the person that is the better person. My best person is a little vindictive. Who puts justice in the universe? I am the. I am the equalizer. I am Irish. I will go out and I will. I will stand up to the shitheads and the miscreants and the ne'er do wells and the grifters. I am a force of righteousness, even if it means slowing down at a yellow light. If that's the extent that I can make wrongs right, I will do it. Felt good. Uh, what else? Um, I don't wanna talk about the election. I really feel like you. If you're listening to this podcast, it's because you wanna fucking break. And you're probably not listening to this podcast. I would imagine all the political podcasts are getting all the traction this week. And the meandering middle aged white guys podcasts are probably going to be a little light, maybe. Had a nice Halloween over the weekend. That was fun. We had people over and we did something fun. We put up a red velvet rope on two stands and my wife and I wore tuxedos. And we waited for kids to come up and we had walkie talkies. And as the little kids came up in their costumes, we had the candy on the stoop, but we were by the front door where you entered the yard and the kids had to come up. We looked at them, we talked into the walkie talkie, and then we would take the velvet rope down and let them get through. Take the candy, leave, put the velvet rope back up again. Check the next kid. Did it to each kid all night. Is that true? No. But that's what I want to do next year. I think that's the best idea I've ever had for Halloween because we're no longer trick or treaters. We are treaters. We simply treat the tricksters. We don't benefit, we just provide. And so why not get something out of it? I think that'll be fun. My friend Matt Malloy has a tradition where he has a speaker and a microphone on his front yard. And when the kids show up, they are told that they will be given a piece of candy just for showing up, just for putting on a costume and walking up the step. But if they would like a second piece, they have to earn it. Which sounds creepy, but hear me out. You either have to sing or you have to tell a joke. And you got to see these kids. They get nervous. Some of them get nervous and shy. Some of them grab the fucking mic and they belt out something from the Little Mermaid or Wicked. And some kids tell funny jokes. Here was my favorite joke from last year. Kid goes, he goes, what do you call a fish with no eyes? I said, I don't know. What do you call a fish with no eyes? He goes. And I said, can you open for me at the Green Bay Funny Bone in Wisconsin next week? Anyway, somebody was telling me I live in Venice, which is the best trick or treating. Everybody shows up. There's a lot of set designers that have like, what do you call that stuff? Smog machines? Fog machine. That smog. We got enough smog. We don't need machines for fog machines, you know, like dry ice. And there's like zip lines with ghouls flying out of the sky. And there's noise machines and there's people dressed as it's characters that spring up from the garden when you walk by. It's fun. Kids come from all over to come to Venice. There's a lot of walk streets where there's a house on either side of the sidewalk, and it's really fun. And so anyway, so I was walking down the street during the day and somebody showed me. There's this new place that's got. It's got cold plunges. Three different temperatures of cold plunge ranging from like 45 to 57 degrees. Then there's also a dry sauna. And you go in there for 90 minutes and you go back and forth and it's 30 bucks and I'm going on Sunday. The other thing somebody told me about is there is a place you go and you can get out your anger. You destroy things. You show up and I guess they like give you a hammer and there's wood and you break the wood with the hammer and you get to yell. It's it's, it's scream therapy mixed with violence. And you can smash things and you wear goggles. And I just thought, here we go in the west side of la. Yet another thing that upper middle class white people do to mimic having an actual job. You could literally just work construction. You could just go to a. Go to a construction site, they'll give you some fucking goggles and a hammer. And there's a lot of yelling, hey, get off your ass, Fitzsimmons. Your 10 is over. Grab a fucking hammer and you can yell back. And that's your therapy. And you don't have to spend $200 an hour for it. These are same people that take, like that take an elevator instead of the stairs to get to their second floor luxury gym where they get on a fucking stairmaster. These are the people that want to look like they're outdoorsy so they put on a tanning cream. These are the people that go to high end vintage stores. It's not a. It's not a thrift store. It's a vintage store. And they buy work boots. Red. What do they call them? Red wings. They buy some red wings with the steel showing through the, through the material on the toes of the boot. They've been. They got oil stains on them. Somebody actually wore them to a job for a couple years. Somebody who really worked. And these fucking hipsters buy the boots and then they buy a trucker cap that's already worn in dirty, and they put that also. They can look like they had a fucking job at some point. These are people that. They take fucking testosterone shots so they can seem manly. Jesus. What's my point? I don't know. Am I any different? I would take testosterone if you gave it to me. Fuck yeah. Heard a guy. I was at the Blue Bottle coffee shop today, spending $6 with 10. Yep. For a cup of coffee that. They were perplexed. I walked up to the counter and I said, ken, what would you like? No, what can I get. What can I get started for you? What do you mean get started? Is this, Is this a home? Do you need to pour a foundation and then frame it? No, you don't have to get started. Just get me a cup of coffee. Well, what do you mean, a cup of coffee? Just a couple coffee. You mean like, I'm not making this up, like an Americana or a pour over? I go, I don't know what that means. I go, just a cup of coffee, please. And he said, well, do you want a dark roast or a medium roast? I go, I have no idea. I really. I go, it's up to you. Whatever's brewed, but it's not brewed. They have to ground the beans, put them in a filter that they put in this glass beaker that looks like it's out of Mr. Solomon's chemistry class that I took in 10th grade. And then they pour boiling water over it, but they do it in a circle. They pour it circularly over the grounds. And then he asked me what I want in it, and I said, I'll take cream, half and half, whatever. He goes, well, we have a whole. We have 2%, we have cream, we have soy, we have. I go, I don't. I go, whatever's on the fucking counter. And again, I don't want to seem like the guy with the worn in red wings and the trucker cap, but I really am that guy. I don't give a fuck about the car. I'll drink it at a gas station as easily as I'll drink a six dollar cup at a blue. Oh, shit, I'm late. I gotta run. Okay. My guest today, you know him from Human Giant Children's Hospital, The League? Transparent. How about Arrested development? How about 30 Rock? How about the Office? How about Modern Family? This guy is one of my favorite guests of all time. He's a legend. I know you're going to love this talk I just had with him. Say hello to Rob Hubel. Oh, I fucked up. I didn't put in my dates. Can you slide this in before I introduce Rob Huebel? Thank you. Where are my dates? All right, I'll just say this. Coming to Philadelphia this weekend, Helium Comedy Club. Come on out Thursday through Saturday. It will probably sell out. Get your tickets in advance. And then I will be coming next weekend to. Where am I? Tacoma and Eugene, Oregon. Tempe. Coming up, San Francisco. Cleveland. Go to fitzdog.com. get some tickets. Do it. Trick or treat. It's the Halloween show. The first annual Halloween show on Fitz Dog Radio. My guest bass player for ZZ Top, Elmore Raymond.
- [14:24]
Rob Hubel
Is that his name?
- [14:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Nope, just made it up.
- [14:26]
Rob Hubel
Oh, yeah, I think it's something. ZZ Top. Isn't that their last name?
- [14:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, it's not.
- [14:31]
Rob Hubel
No. I don't know what they were. Gibbons. They're the gibbons.
- [14:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I think they are the gibbons. That's right. But your mouth looks a little like Planet of the Apes.
- [14:42]
Rob Hubel
A little bit, yeah. Yeah. This is a great. Hi, I'm Rob Huble. I'm not really in ZZ Top.
- [14:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Damn you.
- [14:51]
Rob Hubel
You guys.
- [14:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
There goes the First Annual Halloween show.
- [14:55]
Rob Hubel
Man. This is the first annual. This is gonna be. This should just be the format. It should be all Halloween talk every episode.
- [15:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I think so. I think everybody's got great Halloween stories from their childhoods of like, you know. Cause there was different kind of misadventure in every town. You're from Virginia, I'm from Virginia.
- [15:13]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. We used to go. We used to go hard. I mean, we trick or treat, you know, a lot and get into all kinds of mischief. And I came from.
- [15:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
When you say a lot, did you go plastic bag?
- [15:26]
Rob Hubel
No, dude.
- [15:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Jug.
- [15:27]
Rob Hubel
Pillowcase.
- [15:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Pillowcase.
- [15:30]
Rob Hubel
Stick your head in there, get it in there. Breathe in the mixture of sweet tarts and chocolate and everything. Yeah, yeah. No, we would stay out late and get, you know, as much candy as possible. The kids now, like, my daughter has like a little plastic pumpkin.
- [15:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I'm like, honey, that's my kid's got.
- [15:50]
Rob Hubel
Come on, don't do that. Like, you're cheating yourself.
- [15:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
We go pillowcase. And if there was a. If there was a house that was giving out full size candy, which is always a couple. Oh, yeah, you double back a couple times.
- [16:06]
Rob Hubel
For sure. You double back. Yeah. My dad and mom used to really get into it, so that was really fun for us. Like, they would, like, do the whole house up and make it spooky. And then they would put on costumes and hand out candy. And my dad one year did this thing, which I loved. He was an old fighter pilot.
- [16:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Was he really?
- [16:25]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. So he sat on the front porch, he set up a table like this with a big thing, a big tray of candy with a sign that said, you know, like, honor system. Take one piece and one piece only. But then he sat outside under a sheet with his flight helmet on, with a visor now, so, you know, look like a motorcycle helmet. And he would just be real still. And then some fucking teenagers, you know, would come along and he'd be like. Like, just scare him if they took.
- [16:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
More than one or.
- [16:51]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. But yeah, he was. He was relentless. He would get the little kids. He would get the parents.
- [16:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah.
- [16:57]
Rob Hubel
Because everyone's like, it's dark. They're like, who's this weird guy? Is that a dummy? That's a dummy. You know.
- [17:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [17:01]
Rob Hubel
It was so fun.
- [17:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's awesome. Yeah. My. My neighbor, Matt Malloy. Do you know Matt Malloy? He's an actor. He do. He did something with you. I'm trying to remember what show he did with you, but you guys were in a show together.
- [17:13]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [17:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Anyway, bald guy, character actor. Super fun guy, one of my best friends and we live in Venice on the walk streets, you know, there's like a sidewalk with houses on either side. And so it's like. And there's a grid of them that go on for like a mile. And so kids come from all over la. And it's also like set designers who have, you know, cool props and the dry ice smog and they've got zip lines with ghosts coming down. And there's one guy that's got like a coffin and he's got a chainsaw and he's got a woman that lays in it. And every year he sacrifices a different. No, but it looks. It really does look real. Blood spurts out. It was like Trump getting shot in the ear. Like, it's like, that's not real.
- [17:58]
Rob Hubel
That's not real. That can't be real.
- [18:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So kids come from all over. And so his yard, he's got a speaker set up and a microphone. And if the kids want one piece of candy, they can take one piece of candy. If they want a second piece of candy, they have to take the mic and sing or tell a joke.
- [18:20]
Rob Hubel
That's great.
- [18:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
One or the other.
- [18:21]
Rob Hubel
That's great.
- [18:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And it is. And a crowd forms. Cause like, all these kids want to. They all want to do it.
- [18:27]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [18:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And my favorite one last year was. We're off with the glass. Enough, enough.
- [18:38]
Rob Hubel
I had to break character.
- [18:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [18:41]
Rob Hubel
Also, I just like seeing you like this.
- [18:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I know. It is weird when you are having conversation with somebody with mirrored sunglasses on. You don't trust them.
- [18:49]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [18:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I was looking at your tits the whole time.
- [18:52]
Rob Hubel
I couldn't tell. I kept looking at your eyes. I was like, is he looking at my tits? No, I'm good.
- [18:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So my favorite one last year was a kid came up and he goes up. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
- [19:08]
Rob Hubel
Oh, that took me a second. That's a good one.
- [19:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Should.
- [19:11]
Rob Hubel
That's a good one.
- [19:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
When a six year old makes you take a second, I mean, that's three pieces of candy.
- [19:16]
Rob Hubel
I mean. Yeah, yeah. You got to give it up for that kid. Yeah, man. Trick or treating in LA is the best. Because I think because so many people are in the business, they go all out. You see these houses and you're like, what? Like, there's a house near us. This guy has somehow every year he sets up all these dead rock stars on his roof and they're all. So it's all skeletons.
- [19:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No way.
- [19:41]
Rob Hubel
There's like 10 of them and they move and they sing. So he's got, like, actual rock stars or just not. He didn't.
- [19:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Generic rock stars.
- [19:49]
Rob Hubel
No, no. It's like Kurt Cobain, Jerry Garcia, Roy Orbison, Tina Turner, Prince.
- [19:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No way.
- [19:57]
Rob Hubel
Ray Charles.
- [19:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Tina Turner's dead.
- [20:00]
Rob Hubel
I have terrible news for you. Yes. Yeah. And Amy Winehouse. And so. And, you know, so every year, he puts them up there and he rigs them up, and so they move. And I'm like, what does this guy do?
- [20:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [20:14]
Rob Hubel
You know, it's like there's another guy near us who puts on a haunted house in his, like, front yard. He has, like, a corn maze. He gets corn stalks and sets up a spooky maze for kids. And then it goes around his house. Like, it goes through the garage and the carport in the backyard, and it's like a legit. This is just a guy.
- [20:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [20:36]
Rob Hubel
It's just doing this to scare the. Out of kids, which I think is so fun.
- [20:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Then you find out years from now that he was a pedo, and you're like, I don't. We didn't.
- [20:45]
Rob Hubel
He was a real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also, like, such a fire hazard to have all these dry corn, star. The guy is like a field of dry corn, and all these teenagers are smoking. I'm like, all right, man.
- [20:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, let me put this mic a little closer to your mouth.
- [21:00]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, put it right by my beard.
- [21:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Pull it right up by the beard.
- [21:03]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [21:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. There's a guy in my old neighborhood who used to. He had a whole facade in front of his house that he built.
- [21:10]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. And just for Halloween.
- [21:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Just for Halloween. But, you know, he puts up, like, a month early, and then you go through it, and then he has rooms in his house that are different haunts, but you actually go in the house.
- [21:21]
Rob Hubel
I would not want. Why would you want people.
- [21:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Line of people up the block. Every year, it's like a big tourist attraction.
- [21:27]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. We went to a maze the other night, and it was, I think, the best one I've ever been to. It was about an hour away. It was, like, way out in Thousand Oaks, which, for people not in la, that's, like. It's really far away. And it was in a mall, like, and it was. It was, like, 45 minutes long, you know, like, if you go to Universal, you go through one of those mazes, and it's like. It takes, like, five minutes to go through one, you know, and there's a bunch of them, but it's still. And you have to wait forever. This one we got, like, the front of the line pass or whatever. We had a group, like 20 people, and it just kept going and going and going, and it was so good.
- [22:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Wow.
- [22:07]
Rob Hubel
It was so good. They had, like, you know, the right balance of, like. Because you can't have. You can't hire a thousand kids to work in there. So they but said the right mix of, like, some animatronic stuff. Stuff that's attached to, like. Like a air hose that's going crazy. But, like, you know, stuff that I hadn't seen before. Like a giant. Giant clown that, like, tries to swoop you, you know, and. But they got me good. You know, if. If. If you can get me, like, three times. Yeah, I'm. I'm. That's worth the money for, like, really get me.
- [22:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah.
- [22:41]
Rob Hubel
Like, screaming, you know, like, oh, right. You know, and they surprise me, like, three, you know, usually, like, I'm. I'm the first one in our group. So I go in and I'm, like, looking around. I'm like, okay, that's a dummy. That's a fake. You know, person getting beheaded or, you know, whatever. And then you're like, who's the real thing? And then, you know, it comes out of, like, a closet and it gets the third person in line. So I misses me a lot. But. So this one, they got me a lot. They had a. They even had holes in the ceiling where people would grab you from this. Not grab you, but they would reach down from the ceiling.
- [23:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, wow.
- [23:14]
Rob Hubel
Right when you were walking by.
- [23:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's amazing.
- [23:17]
Rob Hubel
There were some.
- [23:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then your daughter is what, like, eight?
- [23:19]
Rob Hubel
My daughter's eight. She didn't go to it because she. That would scar her for a little bit.
- [23:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [23:25]
Rob Hubel
This one was too intense for a little.
- [23:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [23:27]
Rob Hubel
I saw some little kids there.
- [23:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I just think that's so funny. Like, man, you can hire a babysitter and leave your daughter home alone during Halloween.
- [23:37]
Rob Hubel
I lost money on the deal for sure. Paid a babysitter 100 bucks and, you know.
- [23:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But what she dressing as this year?
- [23:44]
Rob Hubel
My daughter is going to be a pirate. And so we're all. We all have to do. We're still in the mode of, like, we all have to be the same thing, you know? Okay, so, yeah, she's going to be a pirate. We're all going to be pirates. My wife and I. I was going to be. I'm going to use this beard and be like a Z. Easy top pirate.
- [24:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I think it is funny when you think about some of the characters that we dress as, like, a pirate, they're literally murdering rapists.
- [24:09]
Rob Hubel
Let's celebrate. Let's celebrate them throughout history. Throughout. Let's keep that. And by the way, they're. They're not really pirates anymore, but let's keep the.
- [24:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, there are the Somalians, I guess.
- [24:21]
Rob Hubel
I guess.
- [24:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But they.
- [24:22]
Rob Hubel
In the Tom Hanks movie.
- [24:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, but. But I mean, now those cargo ships have kind of caught on, and now they have these fire hoses and. Yeah, these little, like, you know, pontoons pull up next to a pretty big freight. Freight boat. Freight ship. And they just. It's like the civil rights riots. They just blowing out of their boats.
- [24:45]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [24:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And laughing.
- [24:47]
Rob Hubel
It's just a game.
- [24:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's a game.
- [24:49]
Rob Hubel
It's just pirate hunting.
- [24:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [24:51]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. It's crazy, the stuff that. That people dress up as. You're right, though. Like, you'll see stuff and you're like, wait, why? Why? You know, and the stuff that's also creepy. Like any sort of, like, nun or priest or anything like that is like, instantly. Like in the haunted house thing. The other night, one of the rooms you went into, it was like a small church. It was super dark and creepy. And you walk into this church and there were. There were sheets over everybody in the congregation. So, you know, you walk into the back of the church, there's all these church pews and people sitting in the seats, and they all have a white sheet over them, which is really scary. And you're like, okay, which of these is a real guy that's going to try to grab me or whatever? So I'm looking around, I'm looking around. Don't see him. Don't see him. Like, who's the scary guy? All of a sudden, it's Jesus on the cross. Jumps down off the ground. What the fuck, man? You know, tries to attack you. And I was like, that's not who I was expecting. Like, you got me. You got me.
- [25:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I was expecting to, like, sit next to the priest. Then he puts his hand on my leg.
- [26:01]
Rob Hubel
Or a nun is gonna try to beat me or something. Yeah, no, it was the Lord himself.
- [26:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's good. I like that.
- [26:08]
Rob Hubel
That's a good one.
- [26:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. When we used Trickortreat, we were pillowcase people for sure.
- [26:13]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [26:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And it was, you know.
- [26:15]
Rob Hubel
Did you go with a group? Like, you do have brothers and stuff?
- [26:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, yeah, my brother and my sister was a little younger, but then I. When we got older. Yeah, but gang of guys. 100% of us dressed as bums. Like, that was a homeless person.
- [26:30]
Rob Hubel
Like, was fine. Isn't it crazy?
- [26:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You don't see people dressing as homeless people anymore.
- [26:36]
Rob Hubel
Hobo.
- [26:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Hobo. Like. Like, we'd get, like an old beat up, like, you know, blazer.
- [26:41]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [26:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And. And, you know, ripped up shoes and dirty clothes, and we put dirt on our face.
- [26:45]
Rob Hubel
Dirt on your face.
- [26:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Y.
- [26:47]
Rob Hubel
And you'd go out as, like, a homeless person. And your parents. Your parents would be proud of that. They'd be like, great job. Just an adorable little hobo. A little bum. A little bum. They can't get a job. It's like, what are we doing now?
- [27:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Make sure you play schizophrenic tonight, kids. You know, really own it. Show causality.
- [27:09]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. When I was little, I have two brothers, and we went. We love the band Kiss. When we were, you know, at a certain age, you know, like 10 years old.
- [27:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay. 10 to 10 and a half.
- [27:19]
Rob Hubel
I hope I don't still love Kiss. That's what you're asking. But, you know, at that age, like, I hadn't seen that before. I hadn't seen, like, guys in makeup with, like, spitting blood and Gene Simmons doing his tongue and breathing fire. Like, I thought that was awesome. Yeah. And so me and my brothers when his Kiss one year and, you know, did our own makeup, which is not easy to do when you're a kid. And so everywhere we went, ding dong, oh, a bunch of clowns. We're like, we're not clowns. We're Kiss, you know, and they'd be like, oh, look at these adorable clowns. We're not clowns, Lady Kiss. What's Kiss? It's a rock band, you know.
- [28:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's great. Yeah. I think the kids that like Kiss are the ones that later like wwe. Were you a WWE guy as well?
- [28:14]
Rob Hubel
I wasn't really, but I could see how that is a. That's a very. That's an easy off ramp.
- [28:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [28:20]
Rob Hubel
You can see that's a direct pipeline straight to the WWE.
- [28:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Did you see that documentary about Vince McMahon?
- [28:27]
Rob Hubel
I haven't watched it on Netflix, the docu series. Yeah.
- [28:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, I literally, you know, obviously I knew Hulk Hogan and, you know, Stone Cold Steve Austin and then going back to, like, Captain Lou Albano. Like, I've known. I know the big ones.
- [28:38]
Rob Hubel
These are all Trump supporters. Stone Cold Hulk, I was gonna say.
- [28:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
In my progression, I was gonna say MAGA after wwe, but I try to keep politics off.
- [28:51]
Rob Hubel
Sure, sure, sure. So you watch a documentary and what did you learn that surprised you that.
- [28:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
His family was so involved? Like, I knew that there was a daughter that took over at One point. But that Vince was actually a character. Like he was a wrestler and he didn't start off as one. His father started the original kind of this before it was, you know, national. It was there was regional and they would travel around, they would travel in their region and his father made it bigger. But then Vince was the one who really got it on national tv.
- [29:28]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [29:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And started creating superstars and selling out, you know, 15,000 seat arenas.
- [29:34]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [29:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But that he became a character in it where he was the tough business owner and it was very like hazy between who he was as a person and who his character was.
- [29:45]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. I always thought it was the same guy.
- [29:47]
Greg Fitzsimmons
He was a bad guy. He is. He's still alive. Bad guy.
- [29:51]
Rob Hubel
He's a terrible, terrible dude.
- [29:53]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. And so he would involve his son and he would get into fights with his son and he would body slam his own son, throw him out of the ring. His real, his real son cut with razors to create blood. They all cut themselves with razors. Then his daughter comes in and he starts like, you know, making his daughter date other professional wrestlers and then fighting that wrestler. There was like incest hinted at. It was crazy.
- [30:25]
Rob Hubel
In, in the storylines of the show.
- [30:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [30:29]
Rob Hubel
Okay. Okay. Not in real life.
- [30:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No. I don't know. I don't know about incident. He was a victim of incest in real life.
- [30:35]
Rob Hubel
McMahon was.
- [30:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
- [30:36]
Rob Hubel
Wow.
- [30:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And they, they hinted that it was his mother.
- [30:39]
Rob Hubel
Oh my God.
- [30:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You don't hear that a lot.
- [30:41]
Rob Hubel
That's really rare.
- [30:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, that's like a left handed knuckle.
- [30:44]
Rob Hubel
Me looking at you with that wig on and you looking at me with this big. Talking about Vince McMahon being molested by his mother is either a new high in podcasting or a new low.
- [30:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go high on this one.
- [31:01]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. You don't hear a lot about. I think that just doesn't happen very much. Like what mom is gonna be like, oh, no, I'm gonna molest my son, you know?
- [31:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, there was a really great movie called the Perks of being a Wallflower. Did you see that?
- [31:15]
Rob Hubel
I didn't see it, but I'm aware of it.
- [31:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That involved mother son, or it might have been aunt nephew.
- [31:21]
Rob Hubel
Did it really? I thought that was like a, like teen drama about like. I mean, I never watched it. I just thought like, oh, these are. This is like a sweet story about a coming of age teenager and his girlfriend or something.
- [31:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, it was, it was angsty. It was a. It was, it was like a high angst John Hughes.
- [31:42]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [31:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Movie. But Then at the end. I ruined the end for people. I apologize. But it's been out for 20 years.
- [31:50]
Rob Hubel
Is gonna be.
- [31:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, but the end really hits you hard. And then the final scene is David Bowie singing Heroes, which is one of those songs that, for me is just. You ever have songs that if they come on the radio, if it's not at the very beginning, you change the channel because you're like, no, no, no.
- [32:10]
Rob Hubel
I gotta hear from the beginning.
- [32:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Gotta get in step with it right from the beginning. And I also never wanna wear a song that means that much to me. I don't wanna wear it out.
- [32:18]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [32:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I feel like it's got X number of plays before it becomes like a yes song.
- [32:24]
Rob Hubel
Just background. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a. It's a.
- [32:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
What's the song that you treasure that you don't want to wear out for yourself because it means something every time you hear it?
- [32:35]
Rob Hubel
Oh, man. Great question.
- [32:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Great question. It's right here.
- [32:38]
Rob Hubel
Write that down. You didn't write that down. You do have a lot of questions.
- [32:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
A lot of good questions.
- [32:42]
Rob Hubel
That's really scary. A song to me that means so much. I don't know if I'm be able to come up with that. You know what? I. My. My brother. My older brother used to listen to a lot of Rush when I was growing up, and. And his room was right next to mine, so I sort of absorbed a ton of Rush and Van Halen.
- [33:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [33:06]
Rob Hubel
And now it's.
- [33:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Those are the bands that make it through the wall. Yeah.
- [33:10]
Rob Hubel
And now what's crazy is I live on the same street as David Lee Roth in Pasadena.
- [33:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Get out of here, Diamond Dave.
- [33:17]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, when I bought the house, the broker was like, and that's David Lee Roth. So. And I've never seen him.
- [33:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Is that a warning or a selling point?
- [33:24]
Rob Hubel
By the way, you'll hear some explosions and pyrotechnics and full disclosure, there's lead.
- [33:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Paint and David Lee Roth leaves down the street.
- [33:35]
Rob Hubel
No, but it's just kind of cool that, like. And I live on, like, the poor side of the street. He lives in a giant house. And I don't think.
- [33:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I knew you were going to have to do a disclaimer about that. I knew. I don't want people to think that.
- [33:46]
Rob Hubel
I live in a fancy house.
- [33:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Like, look, you've done a lot. You weren't. You earned a good house.
- [33:51]
Rob Hubel
Well, my point is, I would have to say one of the songs that I like a go to if I'm at the gym. And I really need to get, like, I would dig down deep into some Rush or some Van Halen, probably.
- [34:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah. No, I think that Van Halen, their first album was just insane. And I think you really Got me is on that first album. And it starts with that. Crazy.
- [34:21]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. And now that skeleton is on my other neighbor's house. The skeleton of his brother. Of Eddie Van Halen.
- [34:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
- [34:32]
Rob Hubel
Is on.
- [34:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, not his brother. Yeah. Wow, that's pretty sick.
- [34:37]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, well, that's at my neighbors down the street who does the band on his house. Yeah, right, right. But, yeah, that there's some songs like that that. Yeah, I agree that you have to hear the whole song. You don't want to come in midway and go, oh, I'm just catching the tail end of that, you know.
- [34:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right. And there's some songs that really build and like, hey Jude, if I turn on the radio and they're already doing, hey, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I didn't get there with you. I need to take the trip to that. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
- [35:10]
Rob Hubel
Now it sounds like you listen to the radio a lot rather than choosing your own. You know that we live in a world where you can choose whatever music you want, anytime you want and listen to it however many times you want. You don't have to drive around and hope that they're gonna play a song that Greg likes, like, oh, I hope they're gonna play it today. You just put it on, you know, on your Spotify or whatever.
- [35:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, I look at it like, when I'm in my car, it's same thing with masturbation. Sure. I can watch a DVD of porn.
- [35:40]
Rob Hubel
Sure.
- [35:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
In my car.
- [35:42]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [35:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Or on my phone. DVD I can watch.
- [35:47]
Rob Hubel
Have this accident happen, son. Well, Officer, I was watching a DVD of porn in my car, the screens.
- [35:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Back here, driving like that.
- [35:59]
Rob Hubel
I had to recline to watch the screen on the back on the passenger seat. I lost track of that.
- [36:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, my joke was gonna be like, you know, I can watch porn on my phone, or I can just look around and, you know, see what's out there. But no, I really enjoy. I don't like LA radio. I don't think there's a lot of good music stations I like. There's some good talk radio in LA that I really like.
- [36:24]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. Have you ever.
- [36:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Is really good.
- [36:27]
Rob Hubel
And have you ever done. I don't think they do Kevin and Bean anymore. I think those guys had a falling out.
- [36:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Kevin is off with somebody else now, and I think Bean retired.
- [36:36]
Rob Hubel
Okay. One of them was like, up in Seattle.
- [36:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Like, I was being. They were.
- [36:41]
Rob Hubel
They were not in the same room. And I'm like, what's going on with these?
- [36:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And they tell you, don't mention it. They're always like, don't mention that. Bean's not here. He was in Seattle, and then he was very hard.
- [36:50]
Rob Hubel
It's very hard when they say, don't. Don't mention this. Don't talk about. Because the whole time you're just like.
- [36:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I got to bring it up.
- [36:56]
Rob Hubel
This is so weird, man. Where are you? Why, Bean, where are you? Why aren't you in the studio?
- [37:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And they were great. I used to. I used to go on that show all the time. And then they would do this great Christmas concert. It was a band. They raised money for something. But, yeah, I mean, they. That one year, the lineup was like, Smashing Pumpkins. And I have this guilty pleasure band that I really love called Third Eye Blind.
- [37:20]
Rob Hubel
Oh, dude, come on.
- [37:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Is that a guilty pleasure? Can that just be a pleasure?
- [37:24]
Rob Hubel
I don't. I think that's a guilty pleasure. I don't know that you should even be saying that.
- [37:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Is it that bad?
- [37:29]
Rob Hubel
I don't. I'm not sure.
- [37:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
My wife was horrified Third Eye Blind.
- [37:32]
Rob Hubel
I might be confusing them with Three Doors Down. I.
- [37:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, no, no. It's not Three Doors Down.
- [37:36]
Rob Hubel
Okay. What's Third Eye Blind? What is your name?
- [37:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, David Lee Roth is Three Doors Down. He's in that band for you now.
- [37:42]
Rob Hubel
He's literally three doors down from my house.
- [37:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Third Eye Blind is now. I'm blanking. It's one of those bands that I don't. I couldn't even name their songs, but when they come on, I turn it up on the radio.
- [37:56]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you mentioned Smashing Pumpkins. I was gonna. I recently revisited that. I was like, I wonder if this holds up. And I'm not sure it does.
- [38:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Thanks for coming to Fitz Dog Radio.
- [38:10]
Rob Hubel
Whoa. I'm out. Did I get canceled?
- [38:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Are we talking about. I mean, that's.
- [38:17]
Rob Hubel
I mean, give it. Try it. Try it out and tell me.
- [38:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Try it. I listen to Smashing Pumpkins albums all the time. I don't just listen to the radio.
- [38:26]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [38:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness.
- [38:28]
Rob Hubel
That's where. That's where I went. I went to that one. I think I should have gone earlier back to, like, the Siamese Dream. Yeah, I went to Melancholy, and that was a very specific time in. In my life.
- [38:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I think we were both in New York at that.
- [38:43]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, I was in New York.
- [38:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It was like.
- [38:45]
Rob Hubel
And I have great Memories of it. Yeah. So I was trying to, like, sort of get back into it, and I, I, I just had a hard time getting back into it.
- [38:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I think it was about that time in your life. I think there's something you can't access. Emotional abuse.
- [38:59]
Rob Hubel
My mom molested me.
- [39:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Your mama. Your mama molested you?
- [39:04]
Rob Hubel
I can't make that joke. Yeah, the. Yeah, maybe you're right. I don't know. What's your theory on this about keeping up with. Do you make an attempt to keep up with music anymore?
- [39:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
- [39:21]
Rob Hubel
Do you really?
- [39:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. Well, when I say keep up, expand, I don't necessarily look for new stuff, but, like, I've expanded into country in the last three years.
- [39:30]
Rob Hubel
Wow.
- [39:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Flew to Nashville and saw Jason Isbell at the Ryman.
- [39:34]
Rob Hubel
Wow.
- [39:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Everybody's like, if you're going to see country music live, it has to be at the Ryman Auditorium.
- [39:38]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [39:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So he does a residency. Do you know Jason Isbell?
- [39:41]
Rob Hubel
I know who. I know who he is. Yeah.
- [39:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
He's. I mean, some of these guys. I mean, Chris Stapleton. These guys shred.
- [39:48]
Rob Hubel
Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [39:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
They're the best guitar players out there. Keith Urban, like, these guys are great.
- [39:54]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [39:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And so I started getting into that, which I really like a lot. And then my memory is so bad. I'm 58. I know. You're younger than me. You're only about 50, right?
- [40:05]
Rob Hubel
I'm like 28. I'm pro. I'm practically 25.
- [40:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Look down.
- [40:09]
Rob Hubel
Oh, I got a really long beard.
- [40:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, it's gray. You have an. You have a long, gray beard.
- [40:17]
Rob Hubel
I have a long, gray beard that matches your. To match my. I look like God. I'm like a cool, laid back version of God.
- [40:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You think God's not laid back? Look at all the stuff he's allowing to happen.
- [40:33]
Rob Hubel
God might be kind of checked out.
- [40:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
At this point, I think. God, wake up.
- [40:38]
Rob Hubel
God's like, all right, I'm done here. I tried. Good job, Earth.
- [40:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [40:47]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. Well, back to the music thing. Just really quickly. I find it really difficult to keep up with music. I mean, it's just, you know.
- [40:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, my point being, I don't remember names. I'll hear something I love. I'll actually, like. I'll hear something on, you know, an alternative rock station in la, and then I'll download the album. Download. Stream it.
- [41:08]
Rob Hubel
Adorable.
- [41:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I listen to side A, and then I listen to side. Turn it over, and then I forget the person's name. Shortly after, there's a woman named Sienna Farrell who's amazing.
- [41:24]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [41:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I Think she's out of Nashville. But. And what's so cool about it is I started listening to her on the recommendation of my friend. My friend whose grandfather is Johnny Cash.
- [41:37]
Rob Hubel
See, that's what you need. You need a friend in the business.
- [41:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Who lives in Nashville.
- [41:41]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. Or someone adjacent that can be like, this is who you need to be listening to. That's what I don't have right now.
- [41:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [41:46]
Rob Hubel
Because I'm an 8 year old daughter who's just like, you know, we're listening to all of that stuff, you know?
- [41:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But here's the good news. I find Sienna Farrell, I start listening her music. And then I noticed my daughter has a post on Instagram and she has Sienna Farrell as her background music. She did not hear it from me.
- [42:03]
Rob Hubel
Wow.
- [42:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And she found it and we. She has amazing taste in music. My daughter.
- [42:07]
Rob Hubel
How old is your daughter?
- [42:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She's six. No, 21.
- [42:12]
Rob Hubel
That's crazy. Is she in college?
- [42:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Nope.
- [42:14]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [42:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, she's taking some classes.
- [42:17]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [42:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She's not a fan.
- [42:18]
Rob Hubel
Okay. Didn't like it. Not her. Not her. Ball of wax. I get it.
- [42:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, she's got. She's got learning issues and adhd. She's got the whole cocktail that a lot of people have now. And she just always hated class. She's like, I'm gonna go to college when I know what I want to do, so I know what to study.
- [42:34]
Rob Hubel
That makes sense. That's a good plan.
- [42:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. I do think my son went. He got a degree in communications and it's like, you know, what's he gonna.
- [42:41]
Rob Hubel
Do, a fucking podcast?
- [42:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
What's he gonna do a podcast. Right. What is he gonna sit behind the board of a podcast?
- [42:47]
Rob Hubel
What is he gonna wear costumes in a green screen room? There's no future in that.
- [42:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So I gotta lose this. I gotta lose.
- [42:57]
Rob Hubel
I'm getting so hot.
- [43:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's good. Oh, Jesus Christ. Look at you.
- [43:02]
Rob Hubel
Look at me. Look at me.
- [43:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I watched you. I recently did Good Day la.
- [43:08]
Rob Hubel
I did too.
- [43:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, that's why I bring it up. Because, you know, I do research before the show and I'm checking out some stuff you've done recently.
- [43:15]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [43:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I gotta say, those women are so much fun.
- [43:19]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [43:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And one of them is drop dead gorgeous.
- [43:22]
Rob Hubel
My wife. My wife was like, how was the show? And I was like, it was good because my wife does the morning news for NBC.
- [43:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, that's why I said I watched a clip and I was like, he's being so kind to these women. And then I'm researching you more and I was like, oh, his wife's on. Does morning TV as well.
- [43:39]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's, she's friends with a lot of them. But. But that is a, that was a fun show, but I also found it a little challenging because, you know, it's like they're doing like four hours of live television, so it's very chatty and like. Yeah, I was like, oh, we're, you know, I'm looking at the teleprompter and they were talking, they had a story that they punted at some point. And I was like, oh, we should have done that story. It was a story about rectal exams are going to be done by robots. Like, there's a robotic finger that's going to start doing prostate checks and rectal exams and stuff like that. And I was like, oh, great, yes, let's definitely talk about. And they just, they moved it off the thing.
- [44:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I was like.
- [44:28]
Rob Hubel
But I just didn't know where we were going at any time.
- [44:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, I went on and then they were like, you want to stay for another segment? I was like, yeah. But I started off the interview with. I go, I'm really excited to be here. I go, my agent is supposed to be here. I got to keep an eye out. He's Lebanese. And I paged him before to see if he was going to make it by, and I haven't heard back from him. And like, none of them laughed except for the one super hot one. You don't even get it.
- [44:59]
Rob Hubel
No, I do get it.
- [45:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she. And only the super hot one laughed.
- [45:04]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [45:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then she was just like, let's move on, let's move on.
- [45:07]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were. Morning TV is a tough thing to do, you know, because like their energy, not just that show, but like in general, you know, I mean, you've done like satellite radio tours before where you go around and like, you know, they patch you in for 10 minutes to like all these morning drive time DJs and radio shows around, and it's usually.
- [45:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
5Am Your time because they're on the East Coast.
- [45:38]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. You're in a hotel room somewhere and you're plugging like a movie or TV show or whatever and they're like, it's. Their energy level is off the charts. You're like, you know, it's like, ah, the weasel and you know, the rat are talking to Greg Fitz. Hey, welcome, Greg Dragon. You're like, hello. You know, you're just waking up their.
- [45:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Caffeine intake so hard way up Here.
- [45:58]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. I find morning stuff like that is really, is really.
- [46:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, it's challenging. And then especially since like I did one this morning with Philly. Luckily these guys are not like that at all. These guys, Preston and Steve are amazing.
- [46:12]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [46:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And so, but at the same time I still gotta get up. So I had to wake up at you know, 5:30. I think I was on at 6, 6 and you know, so I have to. I got up half hour before so I could pound some coffee and get go. And then, you know, you're only on for 15 minutes and all of a sudden it's 6:15. My wife's dead asleep.
- [46:32]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [46:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know, I. I don't know. I guess if I was a mindful person I could meditate and you know, read a good. But I'm just like, well, it's funny man.
- [46:41]
Rob Hubel
Because there's like, there's. There's so much like media in general that so many times I'm like, how does anybody get any information about anything? Because it's so, it's so widespread. Like there's just like so much stuff. I was doing same thing. I was doing like a bunch of interviews about this little movie that we did. And so they, they had like all happy families. Yes.
- [47:08]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, I want to talk about that.
- [47:10]
Rob Hubel
But I mean. Yes, I want to talk about it too, but that's not why I mentioned. Okay, but, but in the, in the publicizing of that movie, you know, they set up all these like, same thing, like back to back interviews. And I'm just in my garage on my computer doing it. But like some of like the film, the film journalism community, I was like, what? Who is the. I don't know who this person is. I've never heard of this person. I don't like, I had one guy that was outside on his phone because I could tell he was holding his phone like his screen was vertical. I'm on like zoom. He was like holding it. It's all shaky. He's like in front of his apartment. I was like, I don't know who this guy is. Like, how did he get on the list of media hits that we're doing?
- [47:55]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Meanwhile, he's probably got more list.
- [47:56]
Rob Hubel
Probably gigantic. He's probably gigantic. I mean, that's the thing too. You just have to be like nice and cool to everybody.
- [48:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But because also one of those clips, you could say something offhand on Fitz Dog radio and all of a sudden everybody knows about it.
- [48:10]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [48:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And you're like, you just got Fitz dogged.
- [48:13]
Rob Hubel
Is that a verb? I don't want that.
- [48:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
T.J. miller just started saying that on the last podcast.
- [48:18]
Rob Hubel
Oh, I don't want to get Fitz Dog.
- [48:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You don't want to get Fitz dog?
- [48:20]
Rob Hubel
Who's been Fitz dog so far?
- [48:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Just T.J. miller.
- [48:23]
Rob Hubel
He's the only one.
- [48:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Yeah. And I was thinking, talk about. There's a guy named Jay Johnston.
- [48:30]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, I know Jay.
- [48:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay, so Jay is going to jail.
- [48:34]
Rob Hubel
Now for a year.
- [48:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
For a year. For raiding the cap, but for storm.
- [48:38]
Rob Hubel
Storming.
- [48:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You never know which verb to use. Is it raiding or storming?
- [48:43]
Rob Hubel
I think it's storming.
- [48:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [48:44]
Rob Hubel
I think it's storming. Yeah. But Jay, who is super funny, super nice guy, when I knew him, he. You know, we did. We used to do a show called Human Giant. Me and Aziz and Sheer and Bob's Burgers. And Bob's Burgers. So I know Jay threw a lot of different. Different things. And I mean, I haven't seen him in a million years, and I think some things have happened and he kind of went off the deep end maybe. I mean, I don't know enough about. About it to really talk about it, but. Stormed the fucking Capitol.
- [49:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Stormed it.
- [49:13]
Rob Hubel
Attacked some cops. Like, hit some cops with some shit or something.
- [49:17]
Greg Fitzsimmons
A shield.
- [49:18]
Rob Hubel
Really?
- [49:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Well, I think he was handed a shield, and then he took the shield and handed it forward and then led a push. Did a body, like, you know, the Eagles did the tush push. Yeah, he was doing a tush push at the Capitol, and they got the first down.
- [49:34]
Rob Hubel
They got the first down, but. But lost the game. He is going to prison. Yep. For a year. A year. And I think his dad was his lawyer. I think his dad is a big lawyer. No, I could be wrong about that. But I think. I think his dad. So I thought, like, well, this is like a guy who's probably going to get off. Like, you know, but also, it took them so long to, like. That was now four years ago.
- [50:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [50:03]
Rob Hubel
You know, like. And they knew who, you know. Right. When all that stuff happened, he was recognized. He was recognized. Everybody on the Internet was like, oh, this is the Herky jerky guy from. Yeah. You know, Sarah Silverman. Yeah.
- [50:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I actually work with him on a show. He was a writer as well.
- [50:19]
Rob Hubel
So I wrote super funny guy.
- [50:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Super, super funny. Nice dude.
- [50:24]
Rob Hubel
Nice dude.
- [50:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And we wrote on a show called Cedric the Entertainer Presents.
- [50:28]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [50:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And he was. He was a writer, and Louis CK Was a writer, and the great John Bowman, Rest in Peace, was the showrunner. And he didn't drink. He was one of those guys that got sober when he was, like, 16. He was, like, a real problem drinker as a kid. And then he started drinking, like, on that show. He was probably pushing 30.
- [50:48]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [50:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And it was the first time he drank since then. And he drank on a Friday and didn't come in on a Monday.
- [50:53]
Rob Hubel
No, no, no. I've heard a lot of. Yeah. I mean, I don't even know if I should be talking about, but, yeah, yeah, it was bad. And, like, you know, he just. So what do you do now? Like, you go to prison.
- [51:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
How do they treat you if you're an insurrectionist in prison? Because if you're a pedo, there's a certain. I know firsthand it ain't fun.
- [51:11]
Rob Hubel
How did that go for you?
- [51:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, Jesus.
- [51:14]
Rob Hubel
I don't know if there's, like. I don't know if the word gets around, like, oh, that guy was a murderer. That guy was a 1-6- Stormer.
- [51:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, you don't think that inmates know what they did, do you?
- [51:26]
Rob Hubel
I don't know. What's the protocol? Do you mention that, like, on day one, do you go, oh, you know. You know, like, what if you're in for some, like, white collar bullshit, you know, oh, tax fraud, you know, get him.
- [51:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [51:41]
Rob Hubel
You know, or do you have to be tough? You know, like, I decapitated 12 dogs.
- [51:47]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know, I think you want to just go, I'm in here because I knowingly gave other people aids. And then it's hands off that guy.
- [51:59]
Rob Hubel
Everybody's like, forget it.
- [52:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [52:01]
Rob Hubel
Isn't the thing you're supposed to do first day of prison is like, you're supposed to find the biggest, toughest guy and attack that guy? And then everybody's like, whoa.
- [52:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, that's what I do with my kids every time I walk in the.
- [52:14]
Rob Hubel
Door, who's the biggest?
- [52:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Who's the biggest today?
- [52:16]
Rob Hubel
And just go after them. Yeah. Do you think you could make it in prison for a year?
- [52:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I actually do a bit about this. I talk about whether or not I can make it in prison. Really?
- [52:29]
Rob Hubel
I didn't mean to walk us into Greg's standup.
- [52:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Let me tell you something. There's a lot there. 35 years. I got a bit for everything. And so I talk about how I think I'd make it because, like, I wouldn't be the toughest guy, but I'd be. I'd be funny, and I would, like, roast the guards behind their backs. And then I would do, you know, like, some maybe pithy existential observational humor in the yard. I think that would go really big. And then the biggest.
- [52:53]
Rob Hubel
Love it.
- [52:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then the biggest, toughest guy would be like, hey, you, you're funny. You made me laugh. I never would have noticed you. Come here. Suck my dick. And I'd be like, damn it, why do I have this gift?
- [53:09]
Rob Hubel
This sounds more like a fantasy. This sounds like something you might, like, drive around and watch a DVD of and jack off to, or even try.
- [53:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
To get arrested and sent to jail.
- [53:20]
Rob Hubel
Please, please send me in there.
- [53:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, when we restorm The Capitol on January 16, 2025, I'm lockstep with the rest of the cast of Bob's Burgers.
- [53:31]
Rob Hubel
Oh, my God. Yeah. That's a crazy story, man. And I don't know what happened to him. I don't know, you know, who he got hooked up with to be like, yeah, this seems like a good idea.
- [53:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [53:43]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. I think I'm gonna support this guy and go to the Capitol and storm it.
- [53:47]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, look, you gotta look at what this movement draws from. I mean, there's a lot of people in this country that are angry. They feel displaced. They feel. I mean, it's. It's not a new phenomenon.
- [53:59]
Rob Hubel
No. Yeah, I heard someone talking about that. That. It's like a lot of it is loneliness and, like, wanting to belong, which is a real feeling thing. You know, that is a real thing. But like, that wanting acceptance and wanting to be associated and connected, Having a purpose. Yeah. To be in community, but. Yeah. That's not the club that you want to join.
- [54:21]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, it's like the military in the sense that they feel they're all from the military. Well, they're.
- [54:27]
Rob Hubel
They're all former military.
- [54:29]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's like the military in the sense that they're wearing their uniforms.
- [54:32]
Rob Hubel
They wear their uniforms while they storm.
- [54:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
The Capitol, but, I mean, they really feel that they are doing something that is for the good of everybody, but that only they're tough enough to do.
- [54:42]
Rob Hubel
Right.
- [54:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know, I agree with that. Which, you know, good for them anyway. All right, let's get to the script. I don't want to keep you here all day. It's been 42 minutes. I usually do.
- [54:53]
Rob Hubel
How are we doing? How are the ratings? We don't know yet.
- [54:57]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Nothing. Nothing yet.
- [54:58]
Rob Hubel
We don't know. Have I been Fitz dogged yet? I gotta look online.
- [55:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I could Fitz dog you.
- [55:04]
Rob Hubel
Don't Fitz dog me. Do not Fitz dog me. I drove all the. By the way, who drives across town to go to podcasts? Don't people do these in their homes? Now?
- [55:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Is this a backhanded question.
- [55:19]
Rob Hubel
I live very. I don't know if I mentioned this. I live. Me and David Lee Roth had. We were gonna play pickleball today.
- [55:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh.
- [55:25]
Rob Hubel
And I had to say, hey, Diamond Dave, I can't do it. I gotta go get Fitz dogged.
- [55:30]
Greg Fitzsimmons
How long did it take to get here?
- [55:32]
Rob Hubel
17 hours. No, it took 45 minutes.
- [55:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Did it really?
- [55:36]
Rob Hubel
It's okay, man. We're friends. I've known you for a long time. I'm happy to be here. And look how spooky this is. You can't do. I couldn't. We couldn't do. We couldn't deliver these amount of jump scares.
- [55:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
- [55:51]
Rob Hubel
If I had been at my house.
- [55:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right, right. Your house doesn't have green screen.
- [55:54]
Rob Hubel
No, no way. I can't afford it.
- [55:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. And then halfway through, hey, it's Diamond Dave. Can I get some sugar? I don't need that shit. That's my walk on song in Stand Up.
- [56:06]
Rob Hubel
That's a great song.
- [56:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know why? Because you don't have to queue it up right out of the gate.
- [56:10]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [56:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
- [56:13]
Rob Hubel
Right out of the gate, people are raring to go. You put that on, people know, here comes the show.
- [56:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Except then I come out and I sometimes think they ask you, what do you want to walk onto? And I maybe should match my opening energy with the song rather than putting it up here.
- [56:30]
Rob Hubel
Then you just have to, like, slowly ease people down. You're so excited. You gotta be like, well, you know, let's manage our expectations.
- [56:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Maybe we go with, like, Cat Stevens, you know?
- [56:44]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [56:45]
Greg Fitzsimmons
When you coming home, Dad? I don't know when.
- [56:47]
Rob Hubel
Well, the cat's in the cradle in the silver spoon.
- [56:51]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Then I'm bringing them up.
- [56:53]
Rob Hubel
That's a better strategy.
- [56:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [56:54]
Rob Hubel
Is bum them out at the beginning. And then when you come out, it's like, hey, now we're gonna have fun.
- [57:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I did a show in Birmingham, Alabama, and I had them bring me up to the national anthem.
- [57:05]
Rob Hubel
Great call.
- [57:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Loved it.
- [57:06]
Rob Hubel
Great call.
- [57:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Why not?
- [57:09]
Rob Hubel
Do you go everywhere? Are you on the road, like every weekend?
- [57:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, like every other weekend. But right now I'm on the road almost every weekend till the spring because I just had a special come out. Some out doing the new hour.
- [57:20]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, that's what I'm here to promote. I'm here to promote your comedy special.
- [57:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And how did you feel about it when you watched it?
- [57:27]
Rob Hubel
I haven't seen it yet. I'm just here to talk about it and be like, you know, just kind of. What do they call it, like, when you casually mentions, like, street marketing.
- [57:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Street marketing, Yeah.
- [57:38]
Rob Hubel
I just try to, like, work it into conversation. What's the name of the special? You know me, dude, that's so easy for me to work into, you know, my everyday interactions with people. Yeah, yeah, you know me, which, by the way, is my friend Greg Fitzsimmons. That's the name of his new special on Netflix.
- [57:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
What's it on? It's on YouTube, so anybody can see it.
- [57:59]
Rob Hubel
Even better. Did you. Do you own it? Did you?
- [58:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I own it. I paid for it.
- [58:03]
Rob Hubel
That's the way to do it, right?
- [58:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yep. It's the only way to do it. And like, Netflix, I shot it. Like, I hired, like, a really good crew.
- [58:09]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, you have to.
- [58:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I shot it with the specs for good to be good enough to be on Netflix.
- [58:14]
Rob Hubel
Not on a phone. You had real cameras?
- [58:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I had seven cameras. I had a lighting package. I built a set.
- [58:19]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [58:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And we did it. We did two shows. And then my agent goes, I finished editing. He's like, yeah, well, Netflix is booked up through the end of 2026. I'm like, well, why did I just spend all this money on this special? Because if I'm doing it just for YouTube, people are watching on their phones. I could have spent a third of the money. And so. But I'm glad I did.
- [58:38]
Rob Hubel
Here against a green screen, and it would look like you're at a haunted house.
- [58:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right. You know, or I could have put a brick wall behind me on the green screen. Yeah.
- [58:50]
Rob Hubel
Stood up in your living room. But you. But you. You're psyched about it. You spent money.
- [58:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Really excited. I spent a lot of money.
- [58:57]
Rob Hubel
When does it come out on YouTube?
- [58:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's out. It's been out for a month. It's got almost a half a million views already.
- [59:03]
Rob Hubel
What are we talking about? Let's go. You're buying lunch.
- [59:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right. And no, you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to buy a round of golf. We're going to play some golf.
- [59:10]
Rob Hubel
I would love to.
- [59:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And it's on me.
- [59:12]
Rob Hubel
No, no. Okay. Are you a good golfer?
- [59:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You never played together?
- [59:17]
Rob Hubel
I don't think so.
- [59:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
We were at a tournament together, but we didn't play. Yeah, yeah. We were at that same benefit at that really rough course.
- [59:26]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [59:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I can't remember who we were benefiting, but. But, yeah, we'll get out. We'll play with who's our foursome. Who do you play?
- [59:35]
Rob Hubel
Madrigal. I play with Al.
- [59:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Play with Al. I play With Al. That was his tournament. That it was his benefit for his kids school.
- [59:42]
Rob Hubel
That was right by the Rose bowl. That I live right by the Rose Bowl. And was that the one where there were like, nuns there and stuff?
- [59:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, there were nuns.
- [59:49]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. I don't like to have nuns out on the holes. Like, you know, they were like every. You get.
- [59:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know how many I like to have on the course.
- [59:56]
Rob Hubel
How many nuns you like to have on the golf course?
- [59:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
None.
- [59:59]
Rob Hubel
Damn it. You walked me right into it. Yeah. I just found that to be, like, distracting. You know, you're going up to hit.
- [60:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [60:07]
Rob Hubel
And there's like a nun right there. And you're like, come on.
- [60:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [60:11]
Rob Hubel
I can't swear. I can't say anything bad. I get it. You know, you're an important figure in the Catholic Church. You don't have to like, sweat me on the golf course.
- [60:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I think that nuns are interesting because they're really. They do all the legwork and the church. I grew up Catholic.
- [60:32]
Rob Hubel
Okay. I'm not. Yeah.
- [60:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
So I watch nuns up close.
- [60:35]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [60:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
A lot.
- [60:36]
Rob Hubel
And I mean, on a dvd, while you're driving.
- [60:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Black and white.
- [60:42]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [60:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right. All over. So they do the eucharistic stuff. They bring all the bread and the wine up, and then afterwards they stack chairs. And then they're always handing out flyers.
- [60:55]
Rob Hubel
So they're like.
- [60:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, they do the work to prepare. Priests are like the wizard of Oz.
- [61:00]
Rob Hubel
They're just show up at the end. All the credit.
- [61:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yep.
- [61:03]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember seeing any priests at that golf tournament. No, it was all nuns. They probably did all the work and set it up and it was lovely. And I'm sure we made money for.
- [61:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Al Madrigal's private fancy school.
- [61:14]
Rob Hubel
Fancy school that his kids go to. But we should play golf.
- [61:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Plus, he's Latino, so his kids are probably going to school for free.
- [61:22]
Rob Hubel
I'm not gonna participate.
- [61:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You almost got Fitz dogged right there.
- [61:26]
Rob Hubel
You're trying to fit stuff.
- [61:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [61:28]
Rob Hubel
You're trying to Fitz. I'm not going to you. You can say something like that. And you watch me. I'm. I've been trained. I don't.
- [61:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah.
- [61:34]
Rob Hubel
I don't fall for it.
- [61:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
- [61:36]
Rob Hubel
How many people have you had Fitz dogged on the show? Like, hundreds.
- [61:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, I try to Fitz dog the people that will get me traction on the Internet. Like, I'm not gonna Fitz dog Paul Scheer.
- [61:49]
Rob Hubel
Right.
- [61:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Because, like. Yeah, no one's watching that.
- [61:52]
Rob Hubel
Right.
- [61:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But I get Rob Hubel on.
- [61:54]
Rob Hubel
I mean, this guy's got Some social media presence.
- [61:57]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
- [61:57]
Rob Hubel
You know, and I would. Yeah, I would repost it, you know, if I said something terrible and racist and offensive.
- [62:04]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [62:05]
Rob Hubel
And I got canceled. I'd at least repost it for your benefit. To promote.
- [62:09]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [62:10]
Rob Hubel
Your special. You know me. You know me dropping on YouTube.
- [62:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Do you know. And I really did think about this. Cause I said to you, half kidding, let's dress up for Halloween. And then you were sweet enough to say, all right, I'm not gonna go all in, but I'll do something. And I was like, all right, good for him, so I'll do it too. And then I thought to myself, how funny would it be if you walked in and me and the producer here were in blackface and, like, didn't break character.
- [62:36]
Rob Hubel
No.
- [62:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And just see, if you stayed, would you stay or would you leave?
- [62:40]
Rob Hubel
Someone should start. I would leave. Someone should start a podcast where it's just that. It's just traps.
- [62:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [62:50]
Rob Hubel
It's just laying traps and trying to get.
- [62:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [62:54]
Rob Hubel
You know, but you'd have to get big, like a Listers, you know, you'd have to really get them. It'd be hard to get them on the show. But once they did, you know.
- [63:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, that's why I never agree to do a podcast that's longer than an hour, because that's when you get in trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [63:07]
Rob Hubel
You.
- [63:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Your guard comes down.
- [63:08]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. And you start saying, yeah, I agree with your dumb. Yeah. Okay.
- [63:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right. Your wife's name is Holly. Hanula.
- [63:17]
Rob Hubel
Hanula. Thank you.
- [63:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Does she get that a lot?
- [63:21]
Rob Hubel
She does, yeah. Because she is half Japanese and so. And half white guy. And so everybody thinks she's Hawaiian. So everybody says Hanula.
- [63:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It does sound like a Hawaiian name.
- [63:34]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, for sure.
- [63:36]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And she did some acting as well.
- [63:38]
Rob Hubel
Well, she plays. She's a reporter. She does the traffic in. In LA in the morning. She's the traffic reporter on NBC. She's like the fill in, you know. Now they call her when there's an emergency, but, you know, she does. She's not full time, but when she does that, all the, you know, she's on every morning or when she's on in the mornings. She has to wake up at like one in the morning to go to work. No, because the show starts at 3.
- [64:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, my God.
- [64:11]
Rob Hubel
So she's live. Or 4. So she's live on the air. Four in the morning till 7 in the morning.
- [64:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Damn.
- [64:19]
Rob Hubel
Doing the traffic. And so she's exhausted when she gets home. I'm exhausted because I hear her clomping Around.
- [64:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [64:25]
Rob Hubel
Our dog is exhausted, my daughter's exhausted. We're all exhausted. But. But, yeah. So the only benefit of having.
- [64:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She's heading out and Diamond Dave's just coming home.
- [64:37]
Rob Hubel
Diamond Dave is just. They pass.
- [64:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [64:40]
Rob Hubel
Ships in the night.
- [64:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yep.
- [64:41]
Rob Hubel
But the only advantage to having your wife do the traffic report is I can call her at any time on the way here and be like, oh, there's traffic on the 10. How do I get there? And she'll go to the. Her secret.
- [64:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Shut up.
- [64:54]
Rob Hubel
No, for real. She'll go to the map and be like, get off here, get off. You know, really? I don't.
- [65:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
She's like, you're Chloe?
- [65:01]
Rob Hubel
Yes. I don't use like Waze or anything like that. Like my own personal.
- [65:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's amazing.
- [65:06]
Rob Hubel
Assistant.
- [65:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. My wife actually used to do weather.
- [65:10]
Rob Hubel
Really?
- [65:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
In New York. Yeah. And I never look at my app to find out, like, you know, the scientific exact meteorology for the temperature. I'll call her and then she'll tell me it's 82 and sunny. And that just is so much easier for me to pick up the phone and dial and get somebody rather than just go. Yeah.
- [65:30]
Rob Hubel
Also, it's LA. It's always 82.
- [65:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's always the same. We did. You've done a lot of shows. I don't need to sit here and name. You do a lot of interviews. And you must get annoying to hear people list the same shows that you've been on.
- [65:46]
Rob Hubel
Sure.
- [65:47]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Over and over again.
- [65:48]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. But.
- [65:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But best week ever probably doesn't come up a lot.
- [65:51]
Rob Hubel
It doesn't.
- [65:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Which. You and I made our bones.
- [65:53]
Rob Hubel
You and I. That's where we. That's that. Listen, that was. I'm sure you had been doing a lot of stuff. That was like one of my very first.
- [66:00]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, it was one of my first things. Yeah.
- [66:02]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, sure. And I was just like psyched to be on TV and have our name.
- [66:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Up while you were taught if anybody didn't see the show, it was like they would show a clip from. Usually kind of a pop culture clip. And then we. Full screen of your face with your name underneath it while you did a little dry little.
- [66:22]
Rob Hubel
You would just comment on dumb reality shows and dating shows. And I thought that was a really good format for a show. It was funny. It was a weekly recap of all the bullshit on TV that you missed.
- [66:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And it's funny. Cause then there was some copycat shows and now you don't see that format at all. It's such a cheap format. Because I don't know what your contract was? I didn't have one.
- [66:49]
Rob Hubel
I didn't have a contract.
- [66:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Five years. And they never guaranteed me. I would just get a call, like, on Thursday, and they'd be like, hey, you want to come in on Monday? Like, it was a girl that didn't want to call me her boyfriend.
- [67:02]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [67:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then you'd come in, they would fax you because there was no email. Then they would fax you the topics.
- [67:10]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [67:11]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then you would write. All the writing. You would do all the performance. You'd be there for two hours. 500 bucks.
- [67:18]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [67:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No residuals.
- [67:19]
Rob Hubel
But to me, at the time, I was like, that was a lot of money.
- [67:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [67:23]
Rob Hubel
I was like, I'm making money in this business somehow, and that was a lot of money. 500 bucks. Like, I was psyched about that. But, yeah, the only sort of. I'm trying to think of, like, you know, talk Soup, I would say, was related to that, you know, similar thing. Joel McHale, I think, nailed that pretty good. I think that's a great, you know, format. Also. I would say the ridiculousness is sort of like that.
- [67:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. True TV does a bunch of, like, World's Dumbest Criminal.
- [67:54]
Rob Hubel
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [67:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And, you know, look again. It's. It's fast food. It's not like anybody's going to look at that episode in five years because it's all. But. But, yeah, it was fun. It was fun, you know, and it was like the kind of thing where you could maybe come up with something.
- [68:11]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [68:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That. For your. Well, you never did stand up, but, like, you know, but when you look.
- [68:15]
Rob Hubel
Back at that show, there are people that, you know, all of those people are still. A lot of those people are still around and doing well, you know, like Patton Oswald. Patton Aziz, Michael Ian Black. Sheer Rachel Harris, like, Lonnie Love. I remember. Yeah. Some. Chuck Nice.
- [68:33]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Chuck Nice.
- [68:35]
Rob Hubel
Who was Mike Britt?
- [68:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Mike Brittany. I haven't seen Mike Britt a lot.
- [68:40]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. But. But, yeah, those were good times. I. I get when people. When people say that, when people bring up that credit, you know, like, if you meet someone in an airport and they go, oh, best week ever, like, what do you say? I'm always like, yeah, that was like, 20 years ago.
- [68:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. No, I'm psyched. I'm always like. I'm always like, wow, you got a good memory. That was way back, but I feel like.
- [69:05]
Rob Hubel
I feel like I take it as, like, what have you. What. What else have you done, man? Like, you know, that's. Which is the wrong way to take it.
- [69:13]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I say, yeah.
- [69:14]
Rob Hubel
They're trying to be like, hey, do you remember that? Like, I like that. And I know you from that. And I am offended. Like, well, didn't you see the thing that I did last year?
- [69:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, right. Well, I think to me, it's more like. I see them as, like, the people that wear Kiss T shirts.
- [69:30]
Rob Hubel
You're like, all right, don't. Don't go there, man. I'm telling you, that band holds up. No, they don't.
- [69:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Both songs.
- [69:39]
Rob Hubel
Lick It Up. Lick It Up. We don't have the rights to that, do we? Do we have the rights?
- [69:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
No. Now. Now, we're not going to get monetized. All right, let's get straight to it. It's time to play a little thing we call fast Fastballs with fits.
- [69:52]
Rob Hubel
Oh, don't cancel me. Okay.
- [69:54]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right. Who is your best Asian friend?
- [69:58]
Rob Hubel
My wife.
- [69:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's a standard first question, by the way. And you?
- [70:03]
Rob Hubel
I nailed it. I was ready for it.
- [70:07]
Greg Fitzsimmons
If you were to be trans, would you rather be born a woman who transitions to a man or vice versa?
- [70:15]
Rob Hubel
Pass. I'm not getting Fitz dogged on this show. I'm not getting Fitz dogged.
- [70:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Who would you want to give your eulogy?
- [70:27]
Rob Hubel
Great question. Great. That's a great question. Well, first of all, I have a. I've given this some thought.
- [70:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, well, you have two brothers, so.
- [70:38]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, but I want someone that can.
- [70:40]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [70:40]
Rob Hubel
You know what I mean? Like, I mean, for years, same thing. Like, it can't be one person. It has to be, like, a bunch of people. Like, I'm imagining I'm gonna give you three. Well, first of all, I've thought about this. I'm gonna fake my death at least one time, and I want it to be completely realistic. So the first time, I want everyone that's listening to know. The first time you hear about me dying, I'm not actually dead.
- [71:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Got it? It's a dry run.
- [71:11]
Rob Hubel
It's a dry run because I wan. My funeral. I want to see. I want to, like, hear it. I want to laugh and be like, yes, that was a great story about me. Thank you for telling.
- [71:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know, see who doesn't show up.
- [71:24]
Rob Hubel
See who doesn't show up, you know, so. So I'll do that. Probably pop out at the end of it. Be like you, you know, and Steve for not being here, you know, but.
- [71:35]
Greg Fitzsimmons
By the way, are we not thinking of the greatest reality show? Why isn't here?
- [71:40]
Rob Hubel
Why isn't this a show?
- [71:42]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And it would be.
- [71:42]
Rob Hubel
I'M not really dead.
- [71:44]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And it would be such a big show that every time somebody died, you'd be gone.
- [71:48]
Rob Hubel
They're not dead. This is for the show. This is for the show. This is for abc. Yeah. So let me see. You know, I'm sure one of my, like, improv buddies, Sheer Riggle, Owen Burke, Crawl Crow would be great. Yeah. I mean, all those guys, you know, just Cordiery. You know, these are all.
- [72:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Cordry would be amazing.
- [72:15]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. Yeah. These are all Boston guys, by the way, so not all of them, but Cordry is.
- [72:19]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Cordry is. So you just picked one person from Boston, said, these are all Boston guys.
- [72:23]
Rob Hubel
I'm just trying to connect with you, man.
- [72:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I'm not a Boston guy.
- [72:27]
Rob Hubel
I thought you were a boss.
- [72:28]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I started comedy. I went to college in Boston.
- [72:30]
Rob Hubel
Okay. That's all right.
- [72:31]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And so everybody thinks I'm from there because that's where I started doing Stand Up There for, like, my first four years.
- [72:36]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [72:37]
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I'm.
- [72:37]
Rob Hubel
You a New York guy.
- [72:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [72:39]
Rob Hubel
Okay.
- [72:39]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But I'm proud to be considered a Boston comic because there's so many great comics that came from there.
- [72:45]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. Well, also, just being Irish Catholic, I just assume.
- [72:48]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Little caustic, Slightly racist.
- [72:51]
Rob Hubel
Slightly. Just. Just slightly. A little bit charmingly.
- [72:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [72:56]
Rob Hubel
Charm. Like old school. Like.
- [72:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Louie had a funny bit about how I think he. He did it on snl where he's like, I guess I'm a little bit racist. Like, you know, like, if I see a black guy and he's in a Mercedes, I go, hmm. Like, that's it. Pass.
- [73:16]
Rob Hubel
Yeah. I thought you were from Boston. That's crazy. Okay, so, yeah, I would have one of my comedy friends.
- [73:20]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [73:20]
Rob Hubel
Do it. Hopefully a bunch of them. Yeah.
- [73:22]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
- [73:23]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [73:24]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You can't ever do anything on your own. It's always got to be a troop.
- [73:26]
Rob Hubel
I'm dead, man.
- [73:27]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Always got to be a troop. What have you turned down recently?
- [73:33]
Rob Hubel
Great question. Zero. Nothing, dude. Nothing. I'm telling you, it's great. I mean, it's like, you know, for people that don't know, like, Hollywood is completely in. It's shrinking. It's getting, like, smaller and smaller. Like, there's just not a lot going on. So, yeah, you know, for. I would say for young. Young filmmakers that are indie filmmakers. Everyone's available.
- [74:05]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Here is cell phone number.
- [74:07]
Rob Hubel
Call me on this cell phone number. I will do it. Yeah, yeah. No, but. Which has actually been super fun. Like, I've done some things that, like, I. Like I did a horror movie this summer, which I've always Kind of wanted to do, but, you know, I was like, well, is that going to be, like, what's that? Is it going to be, you know, depressing to be, you know, but. So that was really fun. And. But, yeah, I feel like, in general, people aren't turning stuff down. I feel like everyone's available.
- [74:34]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [74:35]
Rob Hubel
I drove 45 minutes to do this podcast.
- [74:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I. But I'm flattered.
- [74:42]
Rob Hubel
I am hoping that changes, you know, I hope that it'll come back, but.
- [74:49]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You'Ll be able to start turning things down again. So I can turn things down your mouth. Should I say no?
- [74:56]
Rob Hubel
No.
- [74:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Can't do it.
- [74:57]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [74:58]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, final question.
- [74:59]
Rob Hubel
That's. By the way, that is a great question.
- [75:01]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That is a great question.
- [75:02]
Rob Hubel
You might want to change the name of the podcast to what have you turned down lately?
- [75:06]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, I think since the pandemic, it's going to get a little redundant.
- [75:10]
Rob Hubel
Yeah.
- [75:12]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, finally, you've been in a lot of sketch troops and improv troops, all that. What's the hackiest bit that you've ever been involved in?
- [75:21]
Rob Hubel
Oh, okay. Also, great question. When I was first starting, there was someone in our improv group whose father did corporate training. Like, you know, you would go into a company and do like, some sort of hr, you know, human resources type thing where he had kind of like bullet points. And then you kind of, like, improvise around that as characters.
- [75:50]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [75:50]
Rob Hubel
And I remember going to do one at the World Trade Center. Obviously, this is pre 9 11. Should I clarify? This is pre 9 11. You know, going into the World Trade center to some big finance company. I can't remember who. It's irrelevant that it was in the World Trade Center. But having to do, like a. Like a sexual harassment improv bits.
- [76:16]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes, yes.
- [76:17]
Rob Hubel
In the World Trade Center. Like, you know, like. Hey, good morning, Dave. How was your weekend? Hey, Tina. Nice skirt. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Freeze. Okay. What did Dave just say? He complimented her skirt. Is that cool? No, that's not cool. You know. Okay, keep going, guys. You know, you just improvise these things, like. So, Dave, did you, you know, what's going on in your personal life? Well, you know, I just got dumped by my girlfriend. Are you interested in maybe having dinner with me? Tina? Whoa. Freezing. You can't ask people out at work.
- [76:52]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know, like, I think Al Qaeda.
- [76:56]
Rob Hubel
Got hold of the footage they might.
- [76:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Have and then took down the towers.
- [77:01]
Rob Hubel
Yes.
- [77:02]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's how bad that is.
- [77:03]
Rob Hubel
It was pretty. Pretty bad. Wow, that was pretty. That was one of the low points.
- [77:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
- [77:11]
Rob Hubel
But again, just Starting out, I'm sure I got paid like 100 bucks, 200 bucks to go do it. I was like, I'm making money in comedy, you know.
- [77:18]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, today you're making zero.
- [77:21]
Rob Hubel
What? But didn't tell me that.
- [77:23]
Greg Fitzsimmons
But you get to keep the beard.
- [77:25]
Rob Hubel
I brought the beard.
- [77:26]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, okay.
- [77:27]
Rob Hubel
This is my beard. What was your costume, by the way? A Viking?
- [77:32]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I was a milf.
- [77:36]
Rob Hubel
You were. You are.
- [77:38]
Greg Fitzsimmons
I am a milf.
- [77:39]
Rob Hubel
You are a milf.
- [77:41]
Greg Fitzsimmons
The film All Happy Families is streaming now. Everywhere.
- [77:45]
Rob Hubel
Everywhere.
- [77:46]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You name a Streamer. Well, not YouTube.
- [77:49]
Rob Hubel
I don't think it's on YouTube. You can buy it anywhere. You buy streaming things. Yeah.
- [77:53]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Okay.
- [77:54]
Rob Hubel
Super fun little movie made with a lot of love in Chicago with a bunch of fun people. Josh Radner.
- [78:03]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, really?
- [78:03]
Rob Hubel
I Met yout Mother is my brother in the movie. Super funny dude. And Becky Ann Baker, who is our mom and the late. He just passed away. John Ashton. Yeah. Played our. Played our dad in the. In the movie. And it's like, you know, it's like a up family in Chicago all under one roof for a weekend and the gloves come off.
- [78:25]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [78:26]
Rob Hubel
But it's super funny and. But also really good. But yeah, man, John Ashton, it was like he. He was Taggart in Beverly Hills Cop, right? Midnight Run, you know, and just great character actor. And yeah, I got to hang out with him all summer and play golf with him in Chicago.
- [78:43]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Nice.
- [78:43]
Rob Hubel
And he was a good golfer, man. Like, could barely see out of one eye and would just smoke a cigarette and like, tell stories about, like, old school Hollywood. And I was. I was like, eating it up.
- [78:56]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Wow, that's so cool.
- [78:57]
Rob Hubel
Great.
- [78:57]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, that's good that you had that with him.
- [78:59]
Rob Hubel
Yeah, for sure.
- [78:59]
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. All right, Rob Hubel, thank you so much for being here again.
- [79:03]
Rob Hubel
Thanks for not Fitz dogging me, I hope. We'll see. I gotta go home and look on the Internet, make sure I wasn't Fitz Dog.
- [79:10]
Greg Fitzsimmons
You don't know if you're Fitz Dogs until you've been Fitz Dog.
- [79:13]
Rob Hubel
Oh, no.
- [79:14]
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's the thing about it.
- [79:15]
Rob Hubel
Oh, my God.
- [79:15]
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, thanks.
- [79:16]
Rob Hubel
Thanks, buddy.
- [79:34]
Fred Meyer Ad
New Year, same great savings, all in the Fred meyer app. Get 10 for $10 on select varieties of Kroger pasta, Starkist tuna pouches or Powerade. Then get Tender Fresh Heritage Farm boneless chick and breasts for 2.49a pound, all with your card. Shop these deals at your local Oregon Fred Meyer today or click the screen now to download the Fred Meyer app. To save big today. Fred Meyer Fresh for everyone. Prices and product availability subject to change restrictions apply. See site for details.