Transcript
Greg Fitzsimmons (0:00)
Hey y' all. Life's journey is filled with change, growth and exciting new chapters. Whether you're welcoming a new family member, stepping into a new city, or chasing after your biggest dreams, you need a ride that's built with more space for the grand challenges ahead. The Toyota Grand Highlander is made for those who embrace every twist and turn with advanced safety features, innovative tech and a bold, sophisticated design. It's the SUV that adapts with you with room to spare. This spacious beauty seats up to 8, gives you up to 97.5 cubic feet of cargo space, and has a diverse engine lineup. Available in gas or hybrid options, including the powerful 362 horsepower Hybrid Max plus available all wheel drive means you'll have confidence no matter where life takes you. Ready to take on your dreams. The Grand Highlander is more than a vehicle. It's your partner in embracing all life throws at you. From daily routines to unexpected adventures. It's up for every grand challenge. Learn more@toyota.com GrandHighlander Toyota Let's Go places.
Unknown Announcer (1:02)
Offer valid on standard browsers US only.
Steph Tolev (1:05)
When I heard about Date My Age, I thought, really? But there I was in my empty, quiet house, my laptop on the kitchen counter and I typed in my name. Looking for a man between the ages of 40 to 60. Sure, why not?
Unknown Announcer (1:23)
Date My Age is different. With verified profiles, you can feel safe and secure to explore meaningful connections with interesting and mature singles.
Steph Tolev (1:30)
Date My Age made it really easy. I could join and view online profiles for free. All of a sudden my empty house wasn't so quiet anymore. I got so much attention. It just made me feel seen and alive. Date My Age helped me start a totally new chapter in my life.
Unknown Announcer (1:47)
Find a friend, a lover, a partner at Date my age. Get 60% off when you join@datemyage.com today. That's datemyage.com to connect with thousands of singles worldwide. Datemyage.com welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. My guest today is Steph Tolev, who is Canadian. She's one of the a lot of funny Canadians lately. They're kind of hitting their str. For a long time Canada was all about sketch comedy and improv. Second City up there and all that. But then and they've always had stand up that's always been very good. Obviously Norm MacDonald came out of there but there's kind of a bunch of people now, Ian Bagg and Steph Tolev and Harlan Williams that have been around for a while but are kind of all hitting their stride. There's a Canadian Renaissance As Bono would say. And it's exciting because they're all good people. Canadians are so easy to be around. They don't have big egos. They are silly. All of these. Can all these comedians have a silliness to them that I like? So, yes, we got some of that today. Harlan and Ian, I've both had in the past year. And then I've got Robbie Hoffman on. She was just on. She's Canadian. Jesus, leave some fucking room for the Americans. All right, let's get to it. Uh, Elon Musk is on drugs. I don't know how we missed that one. The guy is, he's, he's autistic and on drugs. Let's. Let's task him with firing tens of thousands of highly trained doctors, scientists, with the help of three kids in their 20s. How about that? How do we not know he was on drugs? I mean, look at that fucking Tesla truck that. What do they call it, a cybertruck, Whatever that thing is called, you have got to be on ketamine to come up with that body type. That thing screams douche. Every license plate on there should just be douche one, douche two, all the way up to douche. However many idiots bought that fucking truck, it's awful. And it breaks down. So. And I said, but they're fucking fast. And they're annoying because they'll pop out of nowhere because they're so fast and it's like the speed of light and you're making a right hand turn on a red light and you almost get sideswiped by some. They drive. I saw a guy driving one on the highway. I don't know where you live, but if you live in a city, maybe even on a country road, but in a city you get these five lane highways and late at night you get these people in sports cars or Tesla trucks and they drive like they're driving 120 miles an hour and they are darting in and out of traffic, cutting everybody off. And then you see one, you see a Corvette or a Ferrari go by, and then three seconds later you see a fucking Dodge Challenger come by doing the same thing. And you always go like, what was that? Then there'll be a third car and you go, do they know each other? Or does one of them speed by and the other one takes it as a challenge and goes, well, I guess, I guess it's douchebag night on the 10 East. I'm in. I'm in. Maybe they try to catch each other. They try to show off they're Inspired. But there's always multiple assholes driving their cars too fast on the highway. And I remember once when I was in high school, there was this kid, what was his name? His first name was Pat. He was fat. Called him Fat Pat. And he had a 68 Cougar, which was a fast muscle car. He had it all jacked up at a scoop on the hood, Hearst on the floor, dual exhaust, fast. Anyway, it's a little drizzling out and we're driving ironically past the hospital and this guy is darting in and out of traffic, flies by me and then loses his traction, goes into the other lane and hits a car head on going probably. This was just a two lane road, but he was probably going 60 and totaled the other car. And I didn't stop, so I don't know if anyone died. I know Pat was all fucked up from it. I don't know how the other car was, but come on, people stop. I mean, I got a Mustang now. I drive it fast, but I never, I wait till I'm on like, you know, the five north at one in the morning coming from San Diego and there's literally zero people on the road. Then I'll gun it, then I'll get it up to 110. It was just stupid. But I don't even notice I'm doing it. The car is so fast that it just gets up there. But it's a big, you know, I think it's an LA thing. It's a car town and we have maybe the best cars in the country. I would say in terms I'm a muscle car guy, I like old. I like it. I saw an El Camino yesterday. Those are pretty badass. But you know, Mustangs and Camaros and you know, Barracudas, and we have a lot of those cars in pristine shape in this town, you know, a lot of it. And a lot of like 57 Chevy Impalas. That's a big thing with the Latino community. And Venice beach has a thing on Sundays where they all kind of meet up in different places like Abbot Kinney or down at the beach. And they've got these, you know, with the jacked up suspension in the back where they can bounce up and down, but they're not all that jacked up. A lot of them are just pristine cars. And I had a 69 Chevy Impala, but I think these are 67s, which was a definitely more elegant body type than the 69. It was a little more of a muscle car and. But I love It. And I love the Chicanos in la. Like I talk. I went a little rant about how I love LA the other day and I have a couple other thoughts on that. You know, I think our Chicanos are better than your Latinos. And we get the best Mexicans. Let's just put it on the table. They come through here first and they, they, they fucking work their asses off. And they raise families and we are very close friends with first, second, third generation Latinos. But my kids went to a Spanish immersion school. So half the kids, literally, they make sure half the kids are from Spanish speaking homes. And they're just the tightest families. They have the most fucking joyous sense of humor. Not that I'm categorizing an entire race, but I can, I can. This was my experience. And, and it's a big part of la. Um, it's what makes it great. It's what drives the economy. And the other thing we have in LA is the best pimps and whores. I talked about the Kardashians. We have the best whores. We have Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. And we got the best pimps. Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg is our pimp. Snoop Dogg with the fucking, the cane. What do you call the cane? With scotch in the handle. Guys in zoot suits. Snoop Doggs are. Who's your pimp? Some, some methed out biker running a jack shack on a side street in Tuscaloosa. That's your pimp. We. I want to see you guys make your own tv. As much as you hate California, you. You watch our shit, we write it, we produce it, we act in it, we edit it, we put it out. You watch it and then you boo California when I'm on the road. Are you fucking kidding? Make your own TV show. I want to see CSI Dayton, produced by Dayton. People. Do it and then put it out. Let's see who watches. Let's see who watches. You know, what crime are you going to show the this Janine who used to be the prom queen and now she's giving out hand jobs for a line of coke at Pete Saloon. Getting arrested week after week. That's your csi. Who cares? We give you guys all your tv. We gave you Tinder, we gave you marijuana, video games. So you know the next time you meet a girl on Tinder, go to a movie, watch a movie, smoke some weed. While you're there, come back and watch a video game or some porn. We do that too. Why don't you drop us a little thank you note, just write, Hollywood, California, thank you. Drop it in the mailbox. Navy seals, that's us. You guys want to talk about how you're tough? We got the fucking Navy seals and they come back from the Middle east with stories, war stories about taking out a fucking warlord in Syria. And they come back and they tell that story to their friend who's a screenwriter. He writes it up, we shoot it, we put it out on Hulu. You watch it. That's all us, you know. And you want to talk about the homeless. So we have a lot of homeless. It's your kids, your kids coming out here. They're watching American Idol and Simon Cowell and I don't know who else is a judge on that. Ariana Grande, who cares? But they're all encouraging your kids to follow their dreams. So your kid gets on a Greyhound because he thinks he can sing. And he comes out here and he goes up in front of Simon Cowell and Simon goes, well, you suck. You're no good. And now you're just. Now you're homeless. You can't make any fucking money because you have no depth, you lived with no grit in your life. You're not an artist, you're a karaoke singer. And now you can't make a living. And now you're homeless. That's. We have homeless. No, you have homeless who happen to be living on our fucking streets. Get in your minivan. Parents back in date, get in your minivan, pop in a Bob Seger cd, drive out here, start checking under the bridges first. Look for a tent, find your kid, pry the limp dick out of his hand and bring him back to Dayton because we used him up. You sent him out here. We vaporized his dream and we put it into a vape pen that Alec Baldwin takes hits off of constantly. And that's what keeps his career going. The vaporized hopes and dreams of your children. Wow. That got fucking dark. I got a bunch more, eh? I mean, sure, we burst into flame once in a while, but we're good looking. I. Not me personally, but I get to look at a lot of good looking people. And. And then I go to your town, I go to fucking Tempe, Arizona. And. And it's just your girls are kind of good looking, but they all look the same. They all have blonde hair and fake tits and they're tan. And I see them walking home from the bar at 2am wobbling on high heeled shoes that make them uncomfortable. They're wobbling and a couple of them have the fucking Shoes off. They take the shoes off. Which to me is like, all right, that's like, you're out. You're out of the game. Guys, do not hit on a girl whose shoes are in her hand. That's like being in a paintball game and you see somebody splattered with paintballs on his shirt. You can't shoot that guy again. He's just trying to walk out of the game. That's all she's trying to do. She's trying to get off the playing field, get back to her dorm room or her apartment and whatever. She's red shirted. She's a, she's a sophomore that's injured and she's red shirted. She can't play in the games. She's barefoot. It's over. Meanwhile, you see a guy Barefoot at 2:00am that guy wants to fuck. That's it. That's a sign. This is, this is a mountain man. This is a guy who's. He wants to feel the ground under him. You never see a guy holding his timberlands at 2am Walking off my feet are killing me. You don't see that, by the way. Shout out to Bono and Joe Rogan did a very interesting podcast together, some different points of view. Talked a lot about America's role in the world, specifically helping with world hunger and disease and being a beacon for hope and democracy around the world. And Bono was sort of imparting that to Joe. Joe said the word overcorrection quite a bit, which I liked. I think that's probably a good way to distill a lot of what's happening right now. But the thing is, you can watch a lot of clips of Joe Rogan saying stuff and it's easy to dismiss him and say this is a guy is a conspiracy right winger and all that. And look, there's a lot of stuff I don't agree with him on, but if you listen to a whole podcast, you know, look, full disclosure, Joe's one of my best friends, but he's also a guy who really knows how to communicate and have conversation. And he has deep thoughts, he has well thought out ideas in any way. So fucking just watch a whole episode once in a while. Anyway, I'm coming to you folks. Tampa side Splitters Comedy club this weekend, June 5th through the 7th. Come out, bring some friends. It's one of my favorite clubs in the country, Sacramento. I will be with Louis C.K. june 13th and 14th. Then I'll be in Torrance, California, at a place called the End on June 29th. Austin, the Mothership, Fourth of July weekend, Pottstown, Pennsylvania, at Souljols. July 31st, Point Pleasant, New Jersey, Uncle Vinny's, August 1st through 2nd. Then I'll be in La Jolla, Denver, Connecticut, Vegas, Chicago, New Orleans. Go to fitzdog.com, pick up some tickets, come out and see some live comedy. All right. My guest today, I mentioned earlier, she's a fan, fine comic who just destroys at the Comedy Store every night. It feels like she's there every night. Just always has good sets. She is out of Toronto, and she's Bulgarian. She did competitive highland dance for a lot of her life. Bill Burr produced her first special, Friends who Kill. She's got a podcast called Staph Infection. And. And she is delightful. Had such a nice time talking to her this past week. Here is Steph Tollev. My guest today is Steph Tolevo. People say to Lev or to love.