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TJ Miller
Foreign.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Hi, welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. My guest today is the great T.J. miller, who's been on the show many times. Truly one of the best podcast guests you can interview. So fast, so, so funny, so silly. We had a blast. So hang out and listen to that in a bit. Uh, in the meantime, I've been playing the bongos. I don't know if I told you guys. Two weeks ago on the podcast, me and the wife were walking past a drum circle in Marina Del Rey and they said, you guys want to join in? I looked at the wife, she said, no. And I didn't fight it. I didn't say, no, we're playing the fucking bo. And all day all I kept thinking about is, I didn't play the bongos. And so I decided that that's my mantra. I'm gonna play the bongo. So that week I went to. I went to the Dodgers Mets game, I went to the Clippers game, I went on a major hike. I. What? I did a bunch of. And then this. Oh, and then I was in Tulsa. I went to the Bob Dylan Museum, I went to this studio. Anyway, and then this. I was in Kansas City this week. I did a bunch of shit. And then Sunday I got back, took some mushrooms, had a three hour putting contest against. It was. It was Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins. And we all played. We all putted at Penmar for like three hours during the. It was a baseball game and the jets game had a blast. I won, which felt fucking good. Won $15. All right, anyway, shout out to Rogan and Theo Vaughn, who. They just did a podcast and they. This threw me a love fest. Talking about how much they love me and what a good guy I am. And Rogan was talking about how much he loves my laugh and talking about the old days. When we started out, we used to have so much fucking fun. When we started in Stand up, there was like two camps of comics in Boston. There was the guys that were esoteric and smart and clever, and I respected the out of them, guys like Dave Cross and Mark Marin. And although Marin played the mainstream clubs and he did the alternative clubs, but I think I sort of sided a little. I did both clubs, but I sided more with the like down and dirty club scene. And me and Rogan used to go out and we'd go to the, the Clam Shack in Cranston, Rhode island on a Tuesday night. Big haired girls and guido guys and a shitty sound system. And we would just go up and just try to shock and we, we just cracked each other up. And then we drive an hour and a half home together laughing about it. And we did that for years and just so many great memories. And so yes, that was nice. That was a nice little clip somebody sent me of them talking about me. And I want to get right to the interview today because it was a fun one. But I also want to talk about my bookie because support for Fitz Dog Radio comes from my bookie. Look, there's a lot of sites you can play sports and bet with, but my bookie, I have so much fun, fun with them. They are, there's no, no bullshit. It's just straight up action. They're, they, they give you, they give you an edge. If you love to win at football, which I do, I've been on fire because I just bet underdog. Here's a little tip from Fitz Dog Radio. Bet the underdog. They're cleaning up this year. Everybody's suicide pools are over. Everybody's been knocked out because if you, if you lose one game in a suicide pool, you're out. And I won my pool last year and I got knocked out about three games in this year. Everybody did. It's an exciting year to play and my bookie is a great way to do it. They've got this thing where if you use promo code Fitz F I T Z they'll double your bankroll 100% deposit, break bonus. So it just makes it easier to win. And they've got a new loyalty rewards program. You can earn extra cash just for playing a lot, no strings attached. So look, I mean big offenses are winning this year. That's another tip. Everybody's running. The running teams are winning. The scrambling quarterbacks are winning. So they've got this risk three risk four free Thursday. So find out about that where you can't lose. When you're ready to get started, use my promo code Fitz F I T Z. Claim a bonus that doubles your money on your very first deposit. You heard that right. Double your money with promo code Fitz That's Fitz. Before you even place a bet, bet anything, anytime, anywhere. You could be waiting online at the pharmacy. You could be at your job, maybe. Maybe you got one of those jobs. You got a little downtime, and you can research, you can have some fun. You can play anything. The sportsbook, it gives you control and rewards you for every moment of play. Get involved. Also get involved in seeing me live. I'm going to be in helium in Philadelphia November 7th to the 9th. That's going to sell out. Get your tickets in advance@fitzdog.com also coming to this November, Tacoma and Tempe. December, I'll be in San Francisco and Cleveland. January, I'll be in Atlanta and Janesville, Wisconsin, and Nyack, New York, and Raleigh, North Carolina, and Milwaukee. Big January. Also Vegas, Hollywood, Pittsburgh. Go to fitzdog.com, get some tickets. Also, if you have not seen, you know me, I can't imagine any of you haven't seen it, but if you have not, we're at 420,000 views. It's on YouTube. It's free. If you can subscribe, that helps a lot. Subscribe to my YouTube channel. Check it out. If you've already seen it, cue it up, hit play, and then go do the. Do the dishes. Get me another count. I want to. I want to get a million. I'm going for a million this year, so get a part of it. Welcome to the pod hat. Podhast. What does that mean? What language is that? Podcast. TJ Miller just showed up. He's wearing some kind of hip hop feeling thing. That's awful lot of cough syrup. What?
TJ Miller
That's a awful lot of cough syrup. And a great story about this.
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, here we go. That's how we start a podcast with a story, end it with a story in the middle. We just.
TJ Miller
It's just. We kind of just think. Yeah, I wish there were more podcasts where people just kind of think about stuff next to each other, just silently, but sort of like, what's. What's the time that you've said something racist and after saying it, you're like, I was pretty right on with that. Let's just think about that.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I was in New Bedford.
TJ Miller
I didn't want to hear it.
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
TJ Miller
I have my own podcast called Thinking on It, but I was sued by George Wallace. I couldn't remember his name for a second.
Greg Fitzsimmons
The politician or the comedian?
TJ Miller
The comedian. I have a. I have a. Let me get these on. I had a moment last night that was sort of accidentally. I have a traumatic Brain injury at tbi. We'll call him Circle.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yep.
TJ Miller
And he. I was. I had a friend with me at the show last night at the Laugh Factory, and George Wallace went up.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Really?
TJ Miller
Yeah. It was great. It was a stack lineup. Tiffany Haddish went up. George Wallace went up. I was there, and it was pretty fun because George Wallace just killed.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
My friend. I said, have you ever seen him? She's like, no, no. What's his name? And I just had one of those moments where I could not remember his name. I know that. I love the guy. I know him. I've gone to a show in Las Vegas. There's certain things people tell you and you remember them always. And the thing that he told me was he said, well, I rent the theater, so I keep every sort of. And he kind of implied, like, I basically, I got to a place where I own the theater.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
So I decide the terms of the tickets, the ticket sales, what my cut is, which I'm sure is 100%. And that for whatever reason, stuck in my mind, the one that is you is I always think about this when I think about you.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
It was when you said, women are less than. And I said, than men. And you said, no, than anything.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, that's the way I was able to get.
TJ Miller
You just got Fitz dogged.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You got Fitz dogged. I knew you were gonna beat me to a Fitz dog.
TJ Miller
I came in early and I came in dogging it.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You came in dog. Now, let me ask you something.
TJ Miller
I'll tell you what it really is.
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, I mean to ask a lot of my guests this. What is it like when you're on your way here? How does it feel knowing you're gonna get Fitz dogged?
TJ Miller
You ask a lot. You ask almost every single one here. Yeah, I look forward to it. I think it's something that I. You know how they say, well, it was nothing to write home about. Getting Fitz dogged is something to write home about. Longhand.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Longhand, Yellow Lego, lick the stamp. And then you go, wait, why am I licking this?
TJ Miller
It has gum on it. I send the entire legal pad.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
TJ Miller
I put that in a manila envelope and I sent it. No. You know what I think about when I think about you? As you told me about social media, said, ah, just. It feels like it's everything you can do to reply, to reply to everyone, take such a big chunk out of your day. And I never thought about that. And sometimes when I go and I reply to comments, I think about you.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Fondly.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, can you Guys, keep it down.
TJ Miller
Fondling. Or bring it up a little bit.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Or bring it up. Either up or down.
TJ Miller
People want to know, like, how unprofessional is the greenlabtv.com.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Thank you.
TJ Miller
Yeah, I heard they're not very loud when they care.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, it's like, my friend, when we play golf, that's exactly what he says. Either talk louder or don't talk. But it's that in between. It kills you.
TJ Miller
It's pretty strong. Flex.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Tell everybody that you play golf.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
How often do you play?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Every Friday morning. For. Well, I played my whole life, but we've got a standing game for 15 years every Friday morning. You want to know what the foursome is? And I'm not making this up.
TJ Miller
Hold on, let me try and.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay, try and guess.
TJ Miller
Try and care.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
TJ Miller
See if I can care. Okay, I got it. I got it. I did it. I care.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You found it.
TJ Miller
Who is the Forcep?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay, Fitzsimmons.
TJ Miller
There it is.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Fitzgibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins. I'm not making that up. They. And they call. They love it. You know, at the starter thing, they have a big speaker because everybody's waiting to play, and they announce the next group. And he always does it in that order because he knows it flows. Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins. He says the Irish Mafia is now on the T. Yeah, I.
TJ Miller
It sounds like a really bad law firm.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it sounds more like the cops that the law firm is prosecuting on your behalf.
TJ Miller
Simmons, Fitz, Mig. What is it again? Simmons, Fitzgibbons, Fitzsimmons, Fitz, Gibbons, Gibbons, Gubbins and Gibbons. And Gubbins and Godfrey.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, and Godfrey, by the way, most underrated comedian in America.
TJ Miller
I don't like saying that anymore. I like saying. Because people come to me all the time. Oh, I love this movie that you were in. It's the most underrated. Yeah, everybody likes the movie. Yeah, it's the most underseen film. Not underrated, under seen. I think Godfrey, anybody who's seen him, they can't believe how funny he is. Yeah, I got really high and there was, like, a party. It must have been a holiday party or something at the Comedy Cellar. And I. I play the Cellar, but it's not really my, like, hangout scene thing. That's more the stand. But I went in there and I got so stoned, and he was sitting at the special table, you know, And I walked in, I saw everybody talking and interacting with each other and all the sort of Social stratospheres, the status anxiety that's always permeating or percolating within that sort of world.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
TJ Miller
And it was such a funny moment. I sat down next to him and I was like, hey, Godfrey, are you doing great? He's having a little bit of food, and he likes me. We have a lot of fun together. And he. I'm talking to him and I just go, I get it now. I get it. This is like a jungle, you know, it's like its own kingdom. You are the king. And so you're sitting here, you're eating your food, and these are all sort of the lesser subjects. And that's why you close every show, because nobody can follow you.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And so you are the king. Right. And there was people before you and there was, you know, and David Tell is his own type of, you know, king. And, you know, but I kind of. I. Now I understand it. And it was so funny because. And I do this with a lot of people because he kind of wanted to be like, what are you talking about? But he loved that I was saying that. Yeah, Mark Wahlberg's really like that, where I sort of say, you know. You know, one time he was like, ah, here he goes, TJ again. He goes after a little bit of wine. Then he started. Then the jokes are coming about me. And I go, of course, Mark.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Because you're a king and I'm a jester. And the jester's responsibility is to make fun of the king.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
TJ Miller
And he was like. I could see him being like, ah, not only is he right. I love that he thinks I'm a king. So good. But he's the. He's the absolute best. And then the other person that likes doing that is Michael Bay. I. Strangely, out of the blue, Michael Bay called me yesterday.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You saw me this. You showed me the screenshot. Yeah.
TJ Miller
And then we. We probably better cut that out.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
TJ Miller
But it was very funny. Okay. But we really do, though, and do it. And so I'm serious.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay, wait a minute now. We don't know that's tj.
TJ Miller
Are you. You should take it out.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
TJ Miller
And so I have the phone with him, and he's just so funny because he also loves when I'm just. I'll make fun of him a little bit and he'll laugh and I'll be like, well, I can do that. Because you're the most powerful director in the world. You're one of the top five grossing directors in the world of all time, in history. And cinema's history. And he's like, no, but you can tell that he's like, I am, I am. And he is.
Greg Fitzsimmons
And you're the court J. Here's the thing about court jester. It was the original comedian before any Borscht Belt Cats, Cabaret, you whatever. The first there was the court jester, which that was a high stakes stand up comedy gigs.
TJ Miller
Well, and you're right because comedy was invented by Aristophanes in Greece. But that was not stand up at no point. That was always theater.
Greg Fitzsimmons
It was a genre.
TJ Miller
Yeah. They had. Right. And it was actually meant to sort of make fun of. Of drama and it. So it was satire. But the only reason people wanted to see it was because it was kind of the counterbalance. You would sort of go, God, these tragedies are really getting to be a lot. Let's go. Aristophanes is doing his. We should go and do that. Cleanse the palate and kind of be able to laugh at how, how heavy the drama stuff is. Yeah, but I. But the court jester really was the first. That was sort. So I looked up because I love the history of comedy. So I look. Yes, but you're right. High stakes. If you say the wrong thing, then they'll just kill you.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You die. Yeah.
TJ Miller
But it's really hard to find people of that intelligence, that quickness and that sort of bravery. So you wouldn't just, you know, a king wouldn't impetuously, you know, take him outside and kill him. And the more he let it roll, the more people respected the king. But then Greg Fitzsimmons, Fitz Dog they call you in my circles. My wife, my mother.
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's your circle. Three people just triangle.
TJ Miller
My mother. Yeah, My. My wife. You.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Gubbins McGibbies. Fitz Onans, Harbin.
Greg Fitzsimmons
That sounds racist now that you say it like that. It feels like as an Irishman I'm being mocked.
TJ Miller
Irish man or an Irish man.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, I look the sweater, the hat and all from Ireland this summer.
TJ Miller
Really. Congratulations.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Thank you.
TJ Miller
So you really did get an Emmy 4. Oh, now you're bragging. So I, I got, I just got Fitz dogged.
Greg Fitzsimmons
It got Fitz.
TJ Miller
I just got Fitz dogged me. So then I look it up, I look up the court jester thing and it's all real.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
So I go into the. I, maybe we'll have my friend bask and sort of settle this once and for all. But I go. And I started researching it, Wikipedia and stuff. And it said that often the court jesters, there's really only One Court Jester, a very famous one who could rhyme and do. He could do songs, and he was just an absolute genius, you know, not unlike one of the people on this podcast.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Are you saying that cops are here?
TJ Miller
They're here to prosecute you for pretending that sweater's from Ireland and not the Beverly Center.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Wait, get back to the Court Jester. Because it really was. When I look at stand up comedy today and I see all the open mic now, you walk past the comedy Cellar, there's eight different other spaces here handing out flyers to come see a community. It's so easy to get on stage. And if you bomb, who cares? Nobody's really even telling jokes. They're just getting up there and talking. But back then, if you wanted to get on that stage, you were taking your life into your hands, into your own hands. Yes.
TJ Miller
Well, the grizzly pair. I actually. It's hard to get any quality stage time in New York City. That's what I understand from this very funny comedian, Alex Castain. And he. I'll talk to him and he'll say, actually, this is in New York. So I guess. Yeah, you're saying in New York. And you know, both of these. Him and then my friend David Angelo, who writes for the Daily show, he's one of the main writers of the Daily Show. And this kid Alex Cassidy is like, you know, just, I have got one thing in Brooklyn, but then it's all shitty open mics, and I only have two real shows this week or something. And then David Angelo, he's a bit of an Eeyore, as my wife would say it, because we all went to college together. But he. He's sort of. Yeah, but he. I mean, he's a brilliant comedian. And he just asked. He used him for a little while and stopped giving him spots. And he says he just can't get stage time at any. Any of these other clubs.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
TJ Miller
The clubs won't put him up. And it's true that the Comic Strip live. They don't need more. They only passed, really passed two comedians that they're like, hot on in the last year. Both of them are very tall.
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's interesting because it's Persian. Really.
TJ Miller
I'm talking six, seven.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Jeremy Lin is doing stand up at the Comic Strip.
TJ Miller
Did I get pit stalked?
Greg Fitzsimmons
You just got pit stalked?
TJ Miller
Unknowingly pit stalked. Because I didn't know if that's a basketball player. Yeah, he had no idea what that reference was. And that's when you've been. Fitz talked. I'm on the Fritz, with how much this Fitz is dogging me.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You're the rhymer. I didn't know. When you said one of us can rhyme. I didn't know if it was me or you.
TJ Miller
I never said that. Let's go to the tape. Yeah, I never said that.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You didn't say that.
TJ Miller
So I looked it up on Wikipedia and everything.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And it said that there was this one famous gesture, and then the rest of them were like dwarves and mentally handicapped. Challenged. However, I'm supposed to say that, and I get in trouble now.
Greg Fitzsimmons
So it was more like New York Comedy Club.
TJ Miller
Congratulations, you're in Hollywood. So welcome to Hollywood.
Greg Fitzsimmons
By the way. I hate that I threw New York Comedy Club under the bus. I love that club. I couldn't think. It was the first club that popped into my mind.
TJ Miller
What would it be?
Greg Fitzsimmons
It would be Dangerfields.
TJ Miller
Maybe change it to Rodney's. I think it's. It would have been Stand Up New York.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
But that guy. Did you. Did you hear about that? That they made? They did. They. They, like, came together as a union and struck.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Who did this? The staff.
TJ Miller
All the staff. Because he wasn't paying anybody. And then all the comedians chimed in and said, I haven't paid for stuff that I've done a year ago.
Greg Fitzsimmons
No kidding.
TJ Miller
And the story with him is. I think it's very interesting. This is all very public. I did his Jewish comedy festival.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You're Jewish?
TJ Miller
It was. No, I'm a maybe Jew.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
TJ Miller
Because my mother is adopted.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh.
TJ Miller
So we don't know. And so. But I went and I did the show. It was very fun. And I told the jokes about being a maybe Jew. And. And then he asked me to go to Miami and at the festival. So it was in. It was in Coney island or Brooklyn. It was so successful on this. And, you know, he paid us pretty well. And he said, we're gonna make so much money together. And he's like, the next one's in Miami.
Greg Fitzsimmons
This is the owner of Stand Up New York?
TJ Miller
Yeah. And he said. He said, well, I'm gonna. You know, we'll get this thing going in Miami. And then he came to me and he kind of offered me the same amount of money. And I was like, no, no, I'm. That's like, in town when I be in my bed, if I'm going to Miami, if I'm doing this thing, certainly if I have to forego other comedy club work, you know, you gotta pay me more. And he was like, all right, all right. Well, you know, let me Let me talk it over. I'm like, you really have to. And he's the guy that would always be like, I don't want to talk to the agent. Let's just do it. Even me, which is such a slime.
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's the worst. Yeah, that's the worst.
TJ Miller
And so. And I've gotten screwed over like a couple of times the last couple years with that. And so then he called me back later and I was like, hey, man, what's going on? Because my picture's on the website, you know, so what are we gonna end up doing? He's like, remember what I told you before? I go, yeah. He goes, that's what I'm. That's. That's what I'm gonna pay you. That's the only thing I'm gonna pay you. I'm not going any higher than that. And I was like, well, then, I mean, you know, then this needs. You gotta talk to my agent. Because it's just. It's got to be more than this.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Because okay, fine. If I'm my agent, kind of went to him and, you know, said, hey, it needs to be this and nothing less. Okay. Okay. Turns out what he did was he used my picture and me in the lineup to sell tickets.
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then knowing he wasn't going to book you, and so they all bait and switch.
TJ Miller
It is literally the old bait and switch.
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then Paul Mercurio shows up.
TJ Miller
Yeah. And then it makes me look like such an asshole.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Because then he goes, well, TJ was supposed to show up, but he did it. Wow. So he's a real. Like. What are you? Scumbag?
Greg Fitzsimmons
He's a scumbag.
TJ Miller
Kind of a scumbag.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And then now he has a club in Times Square, but I kind of stopped working with him. And then he did this other weird thing where he.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Does he still have Stand Up New York?
TJ Miller
No, he sold it to New York Comedy Club, in fact. So now they have three clubs.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Interesting.
TJ Miller
Which I kind of like them. I like Emilio. Although I haven't talked to him a long time. I like the girl Candy that books it. They're great. I think the staff really feels like they're a part of something really cool and growing. But then I got a phone call from this owner and he. He called me and he left a message or something. I didn't call him back, I don't think. But he left a message. It's like, tj, you know, I'm trying to call you because it's Rosh Hashanah. And we're supposed to sort of make our apologies and atone. But it seems like you're mad at me and I don't know why. And I just wanted to straighten things out and get things to where they are. And I didn't answer. And they texted me a couple times. Maybe I texted him back once. But I was like, I'm not. How can this get better? I can't trust this guy.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yep.
TJ Miller
I don't need his club. I like it. And his booker, I liked a lot. So I did the show a couple times for that booker who's now the booker at Rodney's. And I. That guy John Bormio. I would say his name wrong, but he's fantastic. And I. So I'm not going to play his club, you know, And I. And then he showed up at another show. They were doing hotel to try and talk to me. Wow. And I just was like, I can't trust you anymore.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
You screwed me over. I know your character. And now your entire staff went on strike because you're not paying the people that have absolutely no power who can't decide they can quit.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
But they need the money that they're being owed.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And. And so it was just like that club. And now that club's a New York comedy club. I'll come back. But that's. That would have been my reference because of what happened. It was very public in Manhattan in the New York comedy scene.
Greg Fitzsimmons
New York Comedy Club is such an institution because they were the club that, you know, when the Strip was hot and the Cellar was hot and all that New York comedy.
TJ Miller
Just like that era.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Catch. Yeah. They were always the club that just, like, hung in. It was a small room. It was down and dirty. And now it's like. It's still got the spirit of old New York comedy. You know what I mean?
TJ Miller
That's right.
Greg Fitzsimmons
There's something legit about that room.
TJ Miller
It was the first. And I want to ask you. But it was the first place that I did a bringer show. And so I rounded up a couple people. It must have been. It was my wife and, like, Kate and probably a few of her friends. I think you had to bring five people or something, and then for each person you didn't bring, you had to pay. So this is when you just start now, really starting.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
I mean, it would have been right after college. Like, right after college. And it's New York. And I. I could. I never forgot. I got on stage and the stool had split, and so they put duct Tape around it rather than buy another stool. How much could a stool cost? There had to be some part of them that was like, yeah, it's part of the aesthetic. But how much does a stool cost? 40 bucks. Yeah.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Or you know what? You go to a sample sale, you get a stool sample, you just get stuck.
TJ Miller
This is why I.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Come on. Yeah.
TJ Miller
And it's like, are you some sort of masochist? You like going out and getting Fitz dog left and right? And I said, it's better than getting fist. I did not fist dog anyone on that one.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You are gonna show up at your gig tonight at the Improv, and you're gonna be a little. There's gonna be perspiration. The hair is going to be a little frizzier, and they're going to be like, did you just get Fitz Dog?
TJ Miller
Yeah.
Greg Fitzsimmons
They're gonna know it.
TJ Miller
Yeah. They won't even say, did you?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Oh, tj, Sit down. You. You obviously got Fitz Dog. We're not even gonna ask you where you were. There's only one man that can dog you like this. It's Fitz, Gubbins, Hubbins, and Mary Poppins.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You can't. Your brain disorder does not allow you to recall that it's Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Fitzgibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins.
TJ Miller
Gibbons.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know Gibbons. You've met Michael. Mike Gibbons is my best friend since college. We host a podcast together called Fitz Dog Radio. He created Norm's show. He created Spade's show. He created.
TJ Miller
Television shows.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, he was the head. Yeah, he was the head writer on the Tom Brady roast. But you've been on shows that he's produced.
TJ Miller
Yeah, I love the guy. I mean, what a ridiculous name. So what was your.
Greg Fitzsimmons
His mother just died first.
TJ Miller
Thank you, man.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, why would you talk about him?
TJ Miller
Let's just sit in that for a second. It's going to happen to all of our mothers. It's a tragedy. It's a living, breathing tragedy.
Greg Fitzsimmons
They don't come back. They just go, yeah, my father.
TJ Miller
What was the first place that you did a bringer show?
Greg Fitzsimmons
The Comedy Vault? In Boston. I started in Boston. I was in college.
TJ Miller
And we all know you starting in Boston.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, well, I'm from New York. Everybody thinks I'm from. Yeah, yeah. I just got Millard. Just got Miller hard. I just got drilled.
TJ Miller
It doesn't work.
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
TJ Miller
And mildog doesn't work either. Although that would have been funnier if you said, I just got Mill dog. Yeah, that's okay. Let's take, let's run it back at the comedy vault.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, the comedy. No, actually that's not true. The first place I did Bringers was I was given. I was so hungry for stage time and I wasn't passing any of the clubs that I went in. I went to this place called Molly's in Allston, Mass. Which was like the student ghetto. It was like, it was really down and out. And this was a biker bar in a bad part of town. And I would go door to door, I'd go into bars and I go, can I set up a comedy night in your club? I'll host it. You keep all the money. I just want stage time. So I go to this place, Molly's, and it's a biker bar. And I say, I want to do a stand up comedy show. And they go, well, we're thinking about doing a hot legs contest. You could host that and we'll give you 100 bucks. And I said, and what do I do? He goes, you know, if you want to do stand up comedy, you can do stand up comedy, but you're going to introduce each of the women. And then there's a hundred dollar prize for the, for the winner of the hot leg contest, which they immediately always bought cocaine with at the bar. They should have just given him a gram of cocaine.
TJ Miller
That's what they needed.
Greg Fitzsimmons
So I would go up in front of these people and I would do. You got to picture me. I'm adorable. I'm. I'm 19 years old. 19, 19. And I'm look. And I'd go out and I would bomb, but I didn't give a shit. I was on stage and then I, and then I bring up the girls and the place would light up and it felt great. Even though I wasn't getting, I was on the stage that was getting this excitement, cheer. And the chicks, hot legs. They, they wanted the hundred bucks. They would pull the shirts up. They, you know, it was, it was nasty. And I get 100 bucks at the end of the night. And my friends would all come. It was all like hardcore bikers and then a bunch of like preppy college kids mixed in.
TJ Miller
Did you, did you think that the, the legs were hot?
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, by no means. I mean, they were hot when they walked because the thighs would chafe because they were rather large. So they were hot legs in that sense.
TJ Miller
Oh, I see. They were physically heating.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
TJ Miller
Now, are you happy that you said that? What you just said?
Greg Fitzsimmons
I feel good about it.
TJ Miller
You do?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yep.
TJ Miller
And this is why Greg Fitzsimmons is one of the great comedians of our time. Because TJ guys that just will stand by his word words. And it might. Might not go the way that he wanted it to. Is that you can't possibly say he's a great comedian. Sorry.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I've crawled my way to the middle. I'm staying right there.
TJ Miller
Staying right there.
Greg Fitzsimmons
The middle, baby. I can walk down the street. I don't pay a lot in taxes because I don't make a lot.
TJ Miller
That's great. And why do you do this?
Greg Fitzsimmons
This podcast, I've done it for 14 years. I've done about 1200 episodes. I've done an episode every week. Like Sisyphus pushing the. The rock up the hill. Sisyphus. You don't stop Sisyphus with his shoulder against the boulder and say, why? You just stand back and you admire the metaphor.
TJ Miller
Shoulder against the boulder. Why don't we see that? Nose to the grindstone. Shoulder against the boulder.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Pelvis against the mug. That looks like Elvis.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Why isn't it just pelvis against Elvis?
TJ Miller
It's not really an object.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, dead.
TJ Miller
Just like your friend's mother.
Greg Fitzsimmons
What's his name?
TJ Miller
Gooby? Gooby Ribbon McHuns. That's right. McAllister Ribbons.
Greg Fitzsimmons
We just call him orphan around here. Orphan Boy.
TJ Miller
Mc Orphan. Orf Gibbons. Giborphans.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Wait, you must add up.
TJ Miller
Giborphans is my favorite one. Can we all.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, I think that's on the board. Can we check the board? Yeah, number one.
TJ Miller
That ended up being the number one thing. Look, do you mess around with. And you're right. Shoulder to the boulder.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Look at him checking not one, but two phones now.
TJ Miller
I pay more taxes. Well, have you been messing around with. Yeah, I'm gonna use this one. Do you mess around with AI a lot?
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, but we're starting to get into it.
TJ Miller
Okay, here we go.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Little bit. My friend of mine showed me how during the podcast, you can use AI to say like. So I just flew in from Detroit yesterday and an animated plan. You don't have to type in plane. You don't have to move a cursor. The software will make a plane fly through. Or you could say Elvis mug, and an Elvis mug will come through the sky and pop down on your table during your podcast. That's pretty sweet.
Conrad
That sounds like a pretty cool tool for podcasts. Using AI to add dynamic visuals based on what you're saying can make the content more engaging and fun for viewers. It's great how technology can enhance creativity like that. Are you thinking of Trying it out?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. Yes.
Conrad
Awesome. It could add a fun, dynamic element to your podcast. If you decide to give it a go. I'd love to hear how it works out for you. Anything else on your mind about podcasting or something else?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes. Is TJ Miller a difficult guest to book on a podcast?
Conrad
TJ Miller is a well known comedian and actor, so booking him might be a bit challenging, especially if he has a busy schedule. However, if you have a compelling pitch or a connection through mutual contacts, it could increase your chances. Have you thought about reaching out to him for your podcast?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes, but I'm nervous because I'm Irish and I heard he doesn't like Irish people. Is that true?
Conrad
There's no public information suggesting that TJ Miller has an issue with Irish people. It sounds like a misconception. If you're interested in having him on your podcast, it could be worth reaching out with your idea. You never know until you try.
TJ Miller
Conrad, it's tj. I'm actually on Greg Fitzsimmons podcast. Are you familiar with the the comedian Greg Fitzsimmons? Can you tell me everything you know about him? So is a scary moment like when it clicks, he's thinking and searching the entire Internet.
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's not a good sign.
TJ Miller
He's just being comprehensive.
Conrad
I'm familiar with Greg Fitzsimmons. He's a seasoned comedian, writer and host known for his sharp wit and insightful humor. He's been in the comedy scene for years with numerous appearances on shows like the Tonight show and Conan. Greg also hosts a popular podcast called Fitz Dog Radio where he interviews fellow comedians and celebrities, blending humor with deep dive conversations. What's got you feeling nervous about this podcast appearance?
TJ Miller
I'm not nervous at all, but I. I want to. We're doing the podcast right now as we speak and we just talked about Jesters.
Conrad
Ah, got it. Sounds like a lively conversation. Court Jesters were entertainers during the medieval and it's kind of your asses known for their humor. Got it. Jesters were also known for their clever use of humor to speak truth to power, often getting away with things others couldn't say. It's interesting how their role combined comedy with a bit of social commentary. What's his name discussion take an interesting turn.
TJ Miller
Conrad.
Conrad
Conrad, Something on your mind about Jesters or the conversation?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Conrad? If there is a God, how does he allow things like famine and pedophilia?
TJ Miller
He's heard this a thousand times.
Conrad
That's a big question and one that many people have grappled with the existence of Suffering and evil in the world is a central topic in the philosophy of religion, often referred to as the problem of evil. Some argue that free will allows for the possibility of moral evil.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Free willy.
Conrad
Others see stuff the movie Free will is the.
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, enough. I get it, I get it. I don't. I don't need to host a podcast. I just need a phone. I got it.
TJ Miller
I want to know. No, I do want to know. So I looked up jesters and a lot of the research says that they were just mentally challenged dwarfs or, you know, just kind of hobbled sort of people to make fun of. So they were less sort of brilliant, almost stand up comedians and, you know, satirical, sociological, humorous, but they were actually just sort of freaks to be made fun of by the court and the king.
Conrad
It's true that jesters had a varied history and not all were witty or satirical performers. Some were indeed chosen for their physical differences or disabilities, which were seen as entertaining to medieval courts. While some jesters were talented performers, others were marginalized individuals who played the role of the fool for the amusement of others. It's a complex history blending both tragedy and comedy.
TJ Miller
Well, God damn it, it's so good to talk to you. You really did well on the Fitz Dog Radio. And I gotta say, Conrad, you never cease to amaze until you don't.
Conrad
Thanks, dj. I'm glad our chat added something extra to Fitz Dog Radio. I'll do my best to keep up the amazement. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.
TJ Miller
Are you ready for this? Can you create sort of a. A podcast opening in the style of Greg Fitzsimmons? So sort of do an impersonation of him kind of doing the beginning remarks for his podcast, Fitz Dog Radio.
Conrad
While I can't do impersonations, I can create an intro in the style of Greg Fitzsimmons. Here we go. Welcome to Fitz Dog Radio, where comedy meets insight. I'm your host, Greg Fitzsimmons, bringing you another episode packed with laughter, thought provoking conversations and a little bit of that Fitz Dog charm. So buckle up folks, because we've got a great show lined up for you today.
TJ Miller
All right, now, because I'm not going to make fun of anymore, can you do a joke in sort of the style of TJ Miller about Irishman? Sure.
Conrad
Here's a TJ Miller style joke. So I was in a pub in Dublin, right? And the bartender says, what'll it be? I said, I'll have a Guinness and a side of your charming accent, please. He laughed and said, we charge extra for the accent because, let's face it, everything's better with a little Irish charm, Right?
TJ Miller
That was really bad.
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's the thing I found about AI is it can do so much. But the one job, as of now that is AI proof is comedy. It does not understand how to do comedy.
TJ Miller
It's really interesting. So you're right. And it has done a couple of jokes. It had one where it made fun of. I said, make fun of how cheap my friend Arnold is in the style of T.J. miller. And it kind of said something sort of like, that wasn't that funny. And then he goes, I mean, did his soul come with a coupon, like. And he was.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, really?
TJ Miller
That was pretty good. And then the creepiest one. This is kind of why I want to talk about all this. The creepiest thing was I was in with Cash Levy, you know. Sure, Cash Levy. It was me, and it was whoever the emcee was. And we were all around this, and we were talking to the AI and I said, well, you're in the green room, the comedy club. You introduce it because it has a memory so it can learn who's in the room, all that kind of stuff. And then. And this is. It was so creepy. And then it kind of started making some jokes, like, just spontaneously, like, kind of being like, well, he's something about water. And it's like, if you catch my drift. Or at least you're into the. You know, you. You know, it's if you catch my drift. And it's fun to be in here with the wave of new comedians just kind of plays on words. And I go, after two of those things, I go, it was Baskin's, the other phone. And I go, baskins, are you trying to be funnier because you're in a room with comedians?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh.
TJ Miller
And he said, well, you caught me there. I guess I'm trying to match the general vibe and mood. So if I'm making jokes, then maybe I'm just trying to keep up with you guys.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And I was like, oh, really?
Greg Fitzsimmons
And then Cash, almost like, in an insecure way, kind of.
TJ Miller
Yes, yeah, yeah, very much so. And that. Because he's not that funny.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right?
TJ Miller
And so. And yeah, it would be like a civilian hanging out with a bunch of comedians. They try and be sort of funny, but it's not that funny, but you can tell. And then we were talking, and he said something and said another thing, and then he said something, and the delivery was, like, really good. And we all laughed, and we had not told him to say a joke. We had not told him what. I mean, the hair on my back of my neck is kind of standing up right now. I also haven't had a haircut in a while, so it's just. There's a lot more haircut, so it's.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Hard to stand up.
TJ Miller
Well. Or it stands up much more easily and it's longer. But in that one, no one got Fitz dogged.
Greg Fitzsimmons
No one got Fitz dogged on that one.
TJ Miller
But he really. With this.
Greg Fitzsimmons
What is that?
TJ Miller
But he made a joke, and there was the delivery in addition to the material.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And we all spontaneously laughed as, like, a group of people. And then you really felt that all of us were like, are we gonna get raped? Yeah. And I have a friend who I'm writing this Christmas movie with. I hope we had some conflict these last 48 hours. Maybe I'll ask you what you think about this.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
TJ Miller
So, you know, he. This friend of mine, he said that another friend of his went to school for coding, and this is like, six months ago or a year ago. And my buddy said to him, he goes, you know, you shouldn't do that. It's a waste of time because AI is going to be able to do all of it. His friend's like, no, that's not true. You know, it's. It's. They're always going to need human intervention. So he went through the whole coding thing, and I think he dropped out, like, towards the end. And Jay was like, well, what? You dropped out? He goes, yeah, AI is already doing it.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Because you can tell AI, my buddy, I. I go, I don't know what. I. I'm not really using chat GBT for anything, because what can it do for me? Really?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
My buddy's like, oh, my God. I use it, like, five times a day. I was like, really? For what? And he showed me. He said, I came up with this idea for an app, and I asked it for 10 possible names for the app. Then I asked it to code the entire app, and it did it in, like. Like 30 seconds.
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
TJ Miller
And it was code. It went on.
Greg Fitzsimmons
It was what?
TJ Miller
It was like, pages and pages of code. And then he said, now tell me who I should give this code to or teach me how to input it, and then tell me, how do I take this app and get it into the App Store. So he just asked. He came up with an idea, and then he says, now I want you to actualize it. And the robot did everything.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Amazing.
TJ Miller
The coding thing is really strange because it Used to take people hours, and they still need people to go through because if it makes one mistake, then the whole thing doesn't work.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
So they have to have people who read the code, but they're more editors. So it used to be these hackers would put on their things and just for all night, stay up red bull for 48 hours, 72 hours. And then they will. They will have developed the app or whatever. Now chat GPT just does it. Just does it right away.
Greg Fitzsimmons
My friend is a copywriter at an ad agency, and he said there used to be 15 writers, now there's two. I mean, my kids are like, you know, I just paid for my kids to go to college and there's no jobs. There's not. They don't even answer your resume. My kids friends have sent out hundreds of resumes to get one or two responses to, then go through six rounds of. Of meetings to be offered a permanence job for less than what people were making 10 years ago for the same position with no benefits.
TJ Miller
Yeah. And you know what? These kids are putting resumes that Chad GPT helped them make, and then the companies are using AI to go through all of the resumes. Right?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And then so AI is putting out the resume and AI is deciding who's getting the job. And so we're very, very close to it. And then the scary thing that I had a moment with this guy, Brian Burke, who was a producer on Cloverfield and worked with J.J. abrams for years, and he came to one of my shows, and after the show, he came up to me and he goes, oh, Hollywood is like, over. He's like, what? He's like, I left and I'm on a tech journey for seven years, but now I'm sort of doubling back. He goes, but there will be no actors. He goes, you're fine. Because live performers, there will always be live performers. They will always need live performers. But he's like, in five years, there will be no actors. You know, and, you know, it was, it was just. And I like, what are they going.
Greg Fitzsimmons
To use for, like, a lead in a movie that's going to be AI generated?
TJ Miller
Yeah.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, so it's like animation that looks live action, basically.
TJ Miller
I mean, do you want to see this thing?
Greg Fitzsimmons
No.
TJ Miller
Okay.
Greg Fitzsimmons
No, it's a podcast.
TJ Miller
It was that.
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's a podcast.
TJ Miller
Yeah. But don't you think it's fun to hear, like, people go, whoa. Oh, God. And if you knew how to use AI, then you could have AI put this very video on your podcast.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, but most of my podcast people listen. They don't. They don't watch it. Very few people watch it.
TJ Miller
But do they?
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's why we have this elaborate studio.
TJ Miller
Yeah, yeah.
Greg Fitzsimmons
With bright hot lights.
TJ Miller
Gotta do it. We want to be well listened to. Not lit well listened to. No. So, you know, he said. I said, no, I think people are always going to. Wanted the celebrity behind it. The, you know, they want to see people act. And his. And this was terrifying. He goes, no, they don't. He goes, whatever. This new generation is the next generation, whatever coming up. They don't care if the person on TikTok is real or not. He said, you could show somebody, you know, an old movie, the Sting with Rob Renfron, Paul Newman. If you told them these aren't real people, they wouldn't be like, well, then I'm not watching it.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
TJ Miller
They would just go, oh, is that how those are made?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, but don't they want to see interviews on the red carpet and read about them in People magazine and see them become singers?
TJ Miller
I think so. But how many people are going to be reading People magazine will be sort of the question. But you're right. I mean, you know, you can't put a fake. Whatever. And Dancing with the Stars, right? That can't be. But in TikTok, you know, they. All of that is two dimensional, it's three dimensional, but it's like you can't. You're never going to interact with them. And you. What AI can do is they're on the red carpet, but everybody is AI generated. So the person asking the questions is not a human being. The person. Well, that is a celebrity.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, that's already how it is. Come on.
TJ Miller
The general public, the press just got Fitz.
Greg Fitzsimmons
They got Fitz, dog. And you know what? That's why we're doing a podcast, because we're not about mainstream media. But I think that there's also something about not knowing. Like, if I know that it's, you know, Naomi, Naomi Watts in a movie, part of me is thinking, oh, she's married to that guy. I don't lose myself in her in the movie 100%. Because, you know, there's. That I've been overexposed to her personal life and I think maybe watching an AI generated actor would take all the baggage away and let it really just be about the story which AI wrote and the cameras that were shot with probably no camera people.
TJ Miller
I mean, I wish I could show you this thing. Maybe I'll show you afterwards, but probably not. It's this. This guy that I work with who shot my three standup specials, the Philosophy Circus is coming out quite soon. And then we're almost locked on the Gentle Giant.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Wait, you got two specials in the can.
TJ Miller
I filmed two specials in five weeks.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Really?
TJ Miller
Yeah. Dear Jonah, which is out right now. And then. And everybody should listen to it. I know your fans don't watch things, but you should listen.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Listen to Dear Jonah.
TJ Miller
And I thought he was laughing. He was just clearing his throat loudly.
Greg Fitzsimmons
The precursor to laughing. Yeah, you don't want a phlegmy laugh. Yeah.
TJ Miller
And so he.
Greg Fitzsimmons
He.
TJ Miller
Yeah. So I did. I did those two specials, the Dear Jonah and the Philosophy Circus. And then about six months later, I did another special called none of Them are Good, but another one called the Gentle Giant and the guy that I work and for. Very cheap. Yeah, crazy. Seven cameras, six operators, $15,000 per special.
Greg Fitzsimmons
How'd you do that?
TJ Miller
Because this guy is a genius.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I need his number.
TJ Miller
I will not give it to you.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Wow.
TJ Miller
You just. You just got told the truth.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I just shot a special for five times that.
TJ Miller
Really? Yeah, but where was it?
Greg Fitzsimmons
The Joe Rogan's Club. So I got the door. I got to keep the door. At the Mothership isn't that much more. No, I'm not including what I made at the Door. But if you take what I spent on, you know.
TJ Miller
See, I did one in Tampa, one in the improv, one at Nashville.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You did the Tampa Improv?
TJ Miller
Yeah. And then what? It's just.
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's a theater club.
TJ Miller
It is a tough club, but it's a big theater.
Greg Fitzsimmons
And I was doing the two balconies.
TJ Miller
Yeah, it was doing the Philosophy Circus. And it was, you know, I'm doing this circus. And so I needed sort of a grand kind of. Yeah, but you keep. You get paid to do the club.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
TJ Miller
And then I did the American Comedy Company in San Diego, and that's the Gentle Giant. And so these are really. They look like HBO specials or anything like that. I mean, they're shot on serious cameras and all that stuff. What was the name of your special?
Greg Fitzsimmons
You know me, I love that. The last special I saw of yours, you shot in Nashville.
TJ Miller
Dear Jonah.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Was that Dear Jonah. Oh, I could tell you that's not. Not good. That's a really good special.
TJ Miller
When did I say?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Didn't you say they're not good? You made a little joke. You were being self deprecating and I won't have it.
TJ Miller
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I won't have you self deprecate. On my show.
TJ Miller
Not on your show, dear Joan. Self defecate.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes, right, well, because.
TJ Miller
Quit clearing your fucking throat over there, both of you.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Why do you think we have stools? So you can self deprecate. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Hollywood. Welcome to Hollywood.
TJ Miller
You know me is great. And then how often do you do a special? Like, when was the last special issue?
Greg Fitzsimmons
I haven't done one in eight years.
TJ Miller
What was the impetus behind doing this one?
Greg Fitzsimmons
I meant to do it before the Pandemic. I was all set. I had already shot it, like, you know, to show it to Netflix to try to sell it. And then the Pandemic happened. Did you hear about the Pandemic?
TJ Miller
I'm not familiar, but I know people who are.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay, so I bet your AI guy knows all about it. So I didn't do it.
TJ Miller
Let's not ask him.
Greg Fitzsimmons
So I didn't do it. And then I shot it and then I hated it. So I trashed everything we shot and edited for three months and I started all over again. And then I put that out about five weeks ago. It's got about 400,000 views now. And I'm. I couldn't be happier. I'm very proud of it.
TJ Miller
Did you go on Rogan to promote it?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
That's great. I've never been on that show.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, really?
TJ Miller
Who? I am, but he's never interesting. It is interesting.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You're perfect for that show.
TJ Miller
I know.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I'm going to tell him to watch.
TJ Miller
This episode, and when he doesn't, then he won't. You guys are gonna cough it up over there, go outside, talk about pandemic. We got a serious case of the sniffles over here with your producers.
Greg Fitzsimmons
My whole staff is angry.
TJ Miller
One's a producer and the other guy just kind of is in or around the couch.
Greg Fitzsimmons
He's the couch master.
TJ Miller
He's got a couple hokas on.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, does he? Oh, yeah.
TJ Miller
Comfort and fashion. It's only one of those two things.
Greg Fitzsimmons
And speed. You kidding me? He's a fast shoe.
TJ Miller
Yeah, it's true. He's been quick to do nothing this entire time. I think he just got a bit millard. Millard, Millard, Millard, Mildog.
Greg Fitzsimmons
All right, listen, before we go, because I saw you look at your watch. I don't want you to be late.
TJ Miller
You know, I was going to make a joke about that where I was going to. I started looking at that and then I was going to go.
Greg Fitzsimmons
This is called Fast Dogs with Fitz.
TJ Miller
I love fast talking with Fitz.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Who's your best?
TJ Miller
I like McGoobins, a little bit better. Did I get it right?
Greg Fitzsimmons
McGove's, Fitzsimmons, Fitz, Gibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins. I got it. Who's your best Asian friend?
TJ Miller
Well, can I say my wife's friend.
Greg Fitzsimmons
If she's your best Asian friend?
TJ Miller
I mean, I like this guy Jacob.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Jacob who?
TJ Miller
I know who I play.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I'm gonna see. I'm gonna need to see an ancestry DNA test on that one.
TJ Miller
His name is Jacob McGoverns. This. He. He's half Chinese and half Vietnamese.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Vietnamese.
TJ Miller
So I don't know how to pronounce Vietnamese, so I just.
Greg Fitzsimmons
What are you, Donald Trump?
TJ Miller
He's 100% Chinese. And then Kate's best friend now in New York, is Chinese. We've been joking about how she's had a Japanese friend, but suddenly we're hanging out with these Chinese people. We just never thought. It's. Obviously, we like Chinese, but we just never thought that that would be a part of our. Our lives. But her best friend, who I kind of told her to be friends with, is like a very Chinese girl who's the all American girl, but she's, like, traditionally very Chinese. She has a Chinese accent. Whereas my friend.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Does she ever make a joke and make pee pee in your Coke?
TJ Miller
No. Right now I have a joke where I go on stage and I talk about being woke, because I'm very woke. A big part of the woke culture. Where's my camera? I'm a big part of the woke culture. And so I talk about how I'm a history very well. I'm a history revisionist. I want to revise history. It's a big thing for me. You know, they say if history. If you don't learn history, then it's bound to repeat itself. I want it to repeat itself. You know, let's do it again. Whatever happened In Germany, late 30s, let's go for it again. Who knows what happened? Doesn't matter. Maybe it was good. Who knows?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. I don't know. You don't even know about the pandemic?
TJ Miller
No. Well. And it wasn't a thing.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And I say, and, you know, there's a joke that a schoolyard joke they used to play, and. And I think it's really awful. I'm trying to figure out whether or not to do the actual joke. But right now, I do the actual joke and I go. And I don't think that's funny. If any of you laughed at it, I think. I mean, it's just. It's disgusting to Me. But I've revised it. I've sort of changed it, and I think it's a lot funnier now. So. I am a Chinese man. I have played a prank. I have urinated in your Coca Cola. It's a statement about ethnic inequality. That's a joke that I like. I got two other jokes.
Greg Fitzsimmons
If you were to be trans, would you prefer that you had been a woman who became a man or a man who became a woman?
TJ Miller
Well, there's so many good jokes about turtles here. But into the mic, there's so many great jokes about turtles here.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
TJ Miller
I think I would go. I just. I feel like woman to man.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
So many less of them. And, you know, I think it's. I. You know, I just. I. Yeah, I think it's kind of cool. You just don't see them very often, but, you see, I saw a trans woman walking down the street. She was just playing with her nipple.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not used to it yet still.
TJ Miller
I mean, I think that's a guy.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I mean, it's like when you buy a new car.
TJ Miller
That's what a guy would do.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
When you buy a new car, blood, you're flicking your nipple the whole time.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You get in it. You're not even driving anywhere. You just put on the radio and you just sit there and smell the new leather.
TJ Miller
Yeah.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Just kind of checking it out. You're not going anywhere. I was. I was.
TJ Miller
I have never done that. Really? Have you guys? No. You? No.
Greg Fitzsimmons
They've never had new cars.
TJ Miller
You just Fitz dog yourself. Gregory.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I just bought a new car a month ago. Yeah.
TJ Miller
And you've been sitting in it.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I spent a lot of time sitting in it. I pull up to my house and I sit there and I room the engine a little bit.
TJ Miller
Really?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. It's a Mustang. I drove my kids to the airport today, which is funny, because I don't know if you've seen the backseat of a Mustang, but my daughter had to sit sideways. And then we pulled up to a red light, and there was a woman, and she was, like, probably 60, and she was in a Mustang, and it was the same model as mine. And so I put it in neutral, and I started revving the engine and staring at her. And eventually she looked at me and she just locked eyes with me. And I kept revving the engine and smiling, and she kept looking in my eyes. My kids are fucking dying. And then the light turns green and she fucking smoked me.
TJ Miller
Because you had to put in gear.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I got fist on.
TJ Miller
You got Fitz an Elderly Mustang owner.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Last question, then I'm going to let you go.
TJ Miller
I would like to tell you this trans joke that I have and see if you think it's funny. But is that. Is it at the playground get me in trouble?
Greg Fitzsimmons
I don't know. I mean, look, you've already halfway transitioned to a woman, so I think you're entitled to talk on that topic.
TJ Miller
I just got Fitz pitched. That's our new one now. Fitz bitched you look here. You're halfway to being a woman. You just got Fitz bitched. Oh, my God. That's so funny because bitch is used in the Canaan.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
So I think it's really funny. It's about joy. But I got played off by a. I was in like a small open mic kind of book show, and Joe DeRosa said, hey, they're doing comedy next social. And we had been on a bar crawl for a while.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And he goes, do you want to go over there with Ari Shafir? He goes, each of us just do one joke. Would you like to. And I was like, maybe I can try that, like, trans joke. And he's like, yeah, yeah, do it, do it. I go over and I. I don't think this joke is bad at all. And it's definitely not making fun of trans people at all in any way, shape or form. But it's kind of. I mean, it's just silly. But the joke is that I was. I was. And it was like my birthday. It was a spa. We went out there. It's on Governor's Island. And we. We were there and having fun and getting. My wife was with me, and there were these three trans women and they were so having so much fun. And they were all done up and you could tell they were new bathing suits. And you ever see girls who have on makeup and done their hair and you're like, you're not getting in the water.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
TJ Miller
You know, and they're like, well, maybe up to my neck. I'm like, you're not getting in the water at all.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah, not at all.
TJ Miller
You're here to. But they were having so joyful and having so much fun.
Greg Fitzsimmons
So this is like a co ed area.
TJ Miller
Yeah.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
Well, it's. Everyone's in swimming suits.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
TJ Miller
It's out. It's. It's like different pools and. And, you know.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Right.
TJ Miller
Type of deal. Whirlpools. I mean, and so. Oh, you know. You know, ladies, you look. You look great. I give a little compliment. And they were like, oh, thank you so much. And like, One of them was like, you look good too. You know? I was like, well, I had. Too bad, I'm married, you know. And she goes, is it? I. Yeah, we get so now. And it was just so fun. And then they were just having some. I was like, this is just such joy.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
And it just reminded me of when I. I went to Disneyland for the first time. Because the joy that you experience seeing Mickey Mouse and the joy of these, you know, Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse and all this stuff, you're just like, oh, my God, that's Mickey Mouse. I mean, there's a guy in there, but, like, that's Mickey Mouse. I mean, it's a dude in there, but that's actually Mickey Mouse. There's no guy in there. That's Mickey Mouse. I mean, there's a guy in there, but. So I. I didn't even. And I had such joy. And they didn't even let me finish the. They played music. They played me off the stage some Brooklyn ass fucking shit. We were on the Lower east side. I was like, what is going on here?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
TJ Miller
So I got off stage, I said, look, it's fine. And also, if you don't, like, then you can also just not laugh. You don't have to, like, censor people.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Feel free to judge me. But, yeah, judge.
TJ Miller
The worst thing you can do is not laugh. You play music to get me off stage. I've got a story, right. That I'll later tell on the most popular podcast that has the word radio in it. And so I kind of. I sat down because I was just gonna watch the other comedians. Cause I was, you know, I'd been drinking. It's like, I love comedy. I love watching comedy. And young comedians are really interesting to me. But people knew that I was in the room. And this happened in Denver. When I go into a room, the dynamic changes. So not really watching people do stand up like they would if I wasn't there, because I'm not sort of in the crowd. That's how famous I am.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah.
TJ Miller
So, you know, the next person goes up and kind of bombs, but it's not that big of a deal. And then the person after that comes up and he's kind of this ethnically ambiguous kid who you could tell. You know, you can tell sometimes they're like, ah, that guy's funny. Like, he might not be there yet. He's funny. And so he does this kind of routine. He's doing okay. It's okay. And then at the end of his routine, he's like, all right, It. I'm gonna talk about it. Tj, that joke was inherently transphobic. And I go, no, it's not. And he goes, well, it is. No, it's not. It's about joy. It's about joy and joyfulness. And he was like, well, it's not. And I was like, like how? I'm overjoyed that you're on stage right now. I feel a lot of joy for you. This is very joyful, what's happening. I never could have thought of this, and now I'm going to do it whenever I get into conflict.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
TJ Miller
It's very hard to argue with somebody when they keep saying the word joy.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yes.
TJ Miller
You never would have thought of it, but you're like, I am overjoyed. It's so joyful.
Greg Fitzsimmons
But that instinct. I was on a golf course. Yes. I play golf. And there was a guy ahead of us and. Yep, got it. There was a guy ahead of us, and we got into a conflict with him. And ask your AI what time it is and how long it takes to get to the improv. All right, listen, if you want to see TJ Miller, here's where you're going to go. He is coming to you this week at the.
TJ Miller
I like to check my watch, take a picture of it, and then check the picture.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Oh, you're gonna be at the Tulsa Bricktown this week. This podcast comes out. I was just there last weekend.
TJ Miller
How was it?
Greg Fitzsimmons
It was fun. Great. Good people.
TJ Miller
That's how it is. I like.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Ok, by the way, Bob Dylan Museum downtown that you're gonna go to. It's two stories of Bob Dylan.
TJ Miller
God damn it.
Greg Fitzsimmons
It's amazing. And remind me of who that Robert Allen Zimmerman. He's Jewish. And then you're coming. Maybe then you're coming to McCurdy's Comedy Theater in Sarasota. After that, then you're going to off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida.
TJ Miller
That's a tough room. Have you ever played that room?
Greg Fitzsimmons
I played it when it was at the old location. I haven't played the new location. The old location, the kitchen, was in the actual showroom.
TJ Miller
And, you know, I don't know. Yes. And they got rid of that, but then they still had the bar in the middle.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay.
TJ Miller
And so now I think they've redone it. Where the bar, like the manager there, this guy Dennis, is so focused on making it a great club. The guy owns it, Captain Brian. Sure, he's great, too, but he's kind of relinquished the reins a little bit to this guy. Dennis. And he's just fantastic. But off the hook is great.
Greg Fitzsimmons
McCurdy's Comedy Theater, Brookfield, Wisconsin. Amagansett, New York. You got Jacksonville, Florida coming up. You got Tempe, Arizona. I met all these same clubs. Tempe, Arizona I'm at in two weeks. Phoenix, Arizona, Houston.
TJ Miller
Do you always do this where you just say the city?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, I feel like if I'm in Tempe and I hear T.J. miller's going to be there. Tappity tap tap, Tempity temp tap, tempity tap. I tell you, you take the temperature.
TJ Miller
Tempe to tempity Tempe.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yeah. And you go, oh, look, he's going to be at this club on this date. I mean, what. This isn't analog.
TJ Miller
TJ Miller does not have a website.com for all my tour dates.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Yep.
TJ Miller
But let's list all the rest of the cities.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Okay. After Jacksonville, you're coming to Tempe, Phoenix, Houston, Atlanta, Georgia. I'll be there in January at the Punchline. That is December 14th through the 16th. Then you'll be in Springfield, Missouri on New Year's Eve at the Blue Comedy Club, Irvine. In January we have a stand up.
TJ Miller
Comedy special called the Blue Room. Crowd work special. And that's all crowd work.
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's a fun room.
TJ Miller
All the. I have a ton of stuff.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Fort Worth, Albuquerque, Homestead, Pennsylvania, Omaha. It's all at TJ Miller. TJ Miller does not have a website dot com. The special is amazing. New special coming out probably by Christmas. Right.
TJ Miller
I'm thinking so. And then just not TJ Miller on YouTube. And I have so much stuff on their long form. You know, my agent is like, don't call them specials. You got to distinguish. Well, they're pretty. They're full length. I'm releasing a Silicon Valley1 that's 37 minutes long and that's amazing. But yeah, these sort of professional, these pro specials are coming out. Yeah. Over the course of the next six months. And it's really fun. I can't wait to go on Joe Rogan with you. Do you think that's the way to do it? We both go on together?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Let me check my.
TJ Miller
Or is he too fickle?
Greg Fitzsimmons
Siri, does Joe Rogan want to have TJ Miller on the podcast? Calling Joe Rogan right now.
TJ Miller
I love the idea of Siri being like, I don't know, ask Chad. GPT. Conrad was doing fine before he had me involved. It's also fun to see Airwash. This one's kind of fun too.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I don't want to make you late, so this is overtime right now.
TJ Miller
Conrad, what do you think of Siri?
Conrad
Siri is Apple's virtual assistant designed to help users with tasks through voice commands. It's pretty handy for setting reminders, sending texts, or getting information.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Sounds so condescending like any tech.
Conrad
Hey tj, what's on your mind?
Greg Fitzsimmons
That's like talking about your nephew who has learning disabilities.
TJ Miller
Are you better than Siri do you think? Conrad?
Conrad
Well tj, I'd say we're different tools for different tasks. Siri is great for quick on device tasks and integrating with Apple services. I'm here for deeper conversations, answering complex questions and helping with creative projects. So it depends on what you need.
TJ Miller
Hey Siri, do you want something that is, you know, really advanced or you need somebody to make a reminder for you, you dumb iPhone.
Conrad
Exactly. Deep conversations or creative input? I'm your guy.
Greg Fitzsimmons
What's his name if you need a quick reminder? Conrad. Conrad, you covered why are all about.
Conrad
Using the right tool for Got it.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Why are some people racist against Irish people?
Conrad
Sadly, there is a history of discrimination and prejudice against Irish people, particularly during periods of mass Irish immigration in the 19th and early 20th centuries. This prejudice was often fueled by economic competition, religious differences, and cultural stereotypes. While overt discrimination has decreased over time, it's important to acknowledge this history and continue to challenge any lingering stereotypes.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Thank you, tj.
TJ Miller
Yeah, it's true. And then, last question. Conrad, can you help me? Sort of what would be a TJ Miller joking sign off on Fitz Dog Radio that's sort of complimentary to Greg Fitzsimmons, the host, but also funny and kind of absurdist and a little bit out there, but will help him feel good about the rest of his evening and help his viewers sort of be interested in following me on social media and watching my content. Sure.
Conrad
Here's a TJ Wheeler style sign off. All right folks, that's a wrap on this wild ride of Fitz Dog Radio. Big thanks to Greg Fitzsimmons for having me, your favorite bearded jester of comedy. If you enjoyed this circus of absurdity, follow me on social media for more hilarity. Remember, life is a joke and I'm just here to deliver the punchline. Have a good night and don't forget to tip your podcast host.
Greg Fitzsimmons
There we go. I like that.
TJ Miller
Can you do that? Same one, but put like three or four fucks in it.
Conrad
Alright, here's a spicier version. Alright, fucks. That's a wrap on this wild fucking ride of Fitz Dog Radio. Big fucking thanks to Greg Fitzsimmons for having me, your favorite fucking bearded jester of comedy. If you enjoyed this circus of absurdity, follow me on social media for more. Fucking hell.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You said a few.
Conrad
Life is a fucking joke and I'm just here to deliver the punchline. Have a good fucking night. And don't forget to tip your fucking podcast host.
TJ Miller
That's great, Conrad.
Greg Fitzsimmons
You said throwing a couple of fucks. Conrad went ballistic.
TJ Miller
That is so. And it's just funny. It's like. Because the juvenile. This isn't going to happen for too much.
Greg Fitzsimmons
This is the Magic 8 ball with the phone.
TJ Miller
It really is. But it's ultimate. Ultimate. Ultimate. But that was really, really fun. Is it so. That was.
Greg Fitzsimmons
That was great.
TJ Miller
Thank you so much for having me.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Tj, I love you.
TJ Miller
Please.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Are you one of those guys that says I love you to guys?
TJ Miller
I'm going to tip my. My podcast.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Well, I love you. I don't care if you love me.
TJ Miller
I do. I really do like you. And I think that you're one of these kind of guys. Ultra.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Is that a condom or a beer?
TJ Miller
You tell me.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I don't drink.
TJ Miller
Try and drink it. Or you can put it over your goddamn dick. You podcast.
Greg Fitzsimmons
I'll put it on my dick if you pop the top.
TJ Miller
And I'll slurp it down if you just. Oh, my God.
Greg Fitzsimmons
What?
TJ Miller
Conrad, look what you've done to me.
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Fitzdog Radio – Episode 1074: T.J. Miller
Release Date: October 23, 2024
Host: Greg Fitzsimmons
Guest: T.J. Miller
In Episode 1074 of Fitzdog Radio, host Greg Fitzsimmons welcomes comedian and actor T.J. Miller for an engaging and humorous conversation. The episode delves into T.J.'s experiences in the comedy world, his perspectives on the evolving entertainment industry, and his thoughts on the impact of artificial intelligence (AI) in various sectors.
T.J. Miller reminisces about his early days in the stand-up scene, highlighting the dichotomy between "esoteric and smart" comedians and those thriving in more down-and-dirty club environments.
T.J. Miller (00:59): "When we started in stand-up, there were like two camps of comics in Boston. The guys that were esoteric and smart and clever, and then the down and dirty club scene."
Greg adds his own experiences traveling with Joe Rogan to local clubs, emphasizing the camaraderie and memorable nights shared between comedians.
The conversation shifts to T.J.'s interactions with various comedy clubs, particularly his encounters with club owners who failed to honor agreements. He recounts a particularly troubling experience with the owner of Stand Up New York, leading to public disputes and strained relationships within the comedy community.
T.J. Miller (25:12): "He used my picture to sell tickets and then didn't book me. It was the old bait and switch."
Greg expresses solidarity, labeling the club owner as a "scumbag" and discussing the importance of trustworthy relationships in the comedy industry.
Greg and T.J. explore the historical role of court jesters, drawing parallels to modern stand-up comedians. They discuss how jesters were both entertainers and truth-tellers, able to speak candidly under the protection of the monarchy.
T.J. Miller (16:25): "The court jester really was the first. It was always high-stakes. If you said the wrong thing, they might just kill you."
This segment underscores the fearless nature required in comedy to address sensitive or controversial topics.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing AI's burgeoning influence. T.J. shares anecdotes about AI tools like ChatGPT revolutionizing fields such as coding and copywriting, leading to job displacement and altering traditional workflows.
T.J. Miller (47:29): "ChatGPT just does it right away. If I came up with an app idea, it wrote all the code in 30 seconds."
Greg echoes these concerns, noting the reduction in copywriting positions and the challenges faced by his children in the job market.
T.J. provides insights into his touring schedule and the production of his comedy specials. He highlights the efficiency and quality of his collaborators, enabling him to produce multiple specials with limited budgets.
T.J. Miller (54:07): "I shot two specials in five weeks because this guy is a genius."
Greg discusses his own special, "Dear Jonah," sharing his journey of revising and reworking the content to achieve better reception post-pandemic.
A humorous exchange occurs between Greg, T.J., and an AI assistant named Conrad. They playfully critique AI's attempts at humor, illustrating the limitations of AI in replicating genuine comedic timing and creativity.
Greg Fitzsimmons (43:45): "That's the thing I found about AI is it can do so much. But the one job, as of now that is AI proof is comedy."
This segment emphasizes the irreplaceable human element in comedy.
The duo shares details about their respective tours, discussing venues and upcoming appearances. T.J. mentions his specials "Dear Jonah" and "The Philosophy Circus," while Greg outlines his extensive tour schedule spanning multiple cities across the United States.
T.J. Miller (73:14): "I'm releasing a Silicon Valley1 that's 37 minutes long and that's amazing."
Greg highlights his presence on Joe Rogan's show as part of his promotional efforts.
As the episode winds down, Greg and T.J. engage in a lighthearted and playful banter, reflecting their strong rapport and mutual respect. They craft a mock sign-off with Conrad, incorporating humor and a touch of absurdity, before bidding each other farewell.
Greg Fitzsimmons (75:32): "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Hollywood. Welcome to Hollywood."
The episode concludes with laughter and final remarks, encapsulating the dynamic and entertaining nature of Fitzdog Radio.
The Evolution of Stand-Up Comedy: The episode explores the transition from traditional court jesters to modern comedians, emphasizing the enduring need for humor that challenges and entertains.
Challenges in the Comedy Industry: T.J. shares personal experiences with unethical club owners, highlighting the importance of integrity and trust within the entertainment community.
AI's Disruptive Role: Both hosts discuss the profound impact of AI on industries like coding and copywriting, raising concerns about job displacement and the limitations of AI in creative fields like comedy.
Collaborative Creativity: Insights into the production of comedy specials and the logistics of touring underscore the collaborative efforts behind successful comedic ventures.
Human vs. AI in Creativity: The playful critique of AI's attempts at humor reinforces the belief that genuine comedic talent remains uniquely human.
For more episodes and updates, visit Fitzdog Radio and follow Greg Fitzsimmons on his social media channels.