Transcript
Greg Fitzsimmons (0:00)
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Unknown (1:00)
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Tom O'Neill (2:11)
Welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. Amazing guest today. My Dear friend Tom O'Neill will be here. I talked to him. I think it's a couple weeks ago actually, so I don't know if. I never know if something's gonna feel dated. But so excited. I had a great week. Went to see AC DC this weekend. Holy shit, there's a Bucket List concert. I mean, that's one of those ones you go later, like, why didn't I see AC dc? And you go, well, cuz they're fucking old. And the joke I kept making after the show when we were all leaving was they kind of mailed it in and everybody laughed because they were fucking killing it. Hundred percent. Like, it's just, you know, you just can't describe the spirit behind a band like the Rolling Stones or the who or acdc. Like it doesn't matter how old they are, they still got the balls. And Angus was running up and down a Runway into the crowd, fucking doing the duck step. Is that what they call it, the goose step? No, that's, that's the Nazis. The. What do you call it when you're, when you're running on one leg and kicking your other foot forward? The duck walk. I think it's the duck walk. He was duck walking, he's 70 years old and he. It was a 2 hour and 30, 15 minute concert where they were destroying. And I was shocked how many of the songs I knew there was only like two songs I'd never heard before. Hell's Bells came on. And not gonna lie to you. Little tear, little tear Ran down my, you know. Rolling thunder, fire and rain. I'm coming on like a hurricane. White light flashes through the sky. You're only young but you're gonna die. I mean, are you fucking kidding me? And then they just. And then the best part is my buddy Chris Chaney plays bass for them now. He's a guy that I've played golf with for about 10 years on every Friday. And he used to play with Jane's Addiction for a lot of years. And he had, he recorded Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill. Toured with her for years. Everybody. Taylor Swift, he's like a huge, hugely respected bass player. Does a lot of session work for other bands and anyway, so he started touring with AC DC last year on their European tour. And you know, he would tell me stories about flying first class, staying in four seasons. They do one concert, then they take two nights off afterwards so they can all rest where you're just getting like room service and first class. And he's hanging out with Angus like, you know, they're going to the store together and shopping and so it's been a dream for him and he just killed it. I mean, I guess you don't really focus on a bass player that much until you're watching the bass player you see what he's doing is very intense. And he was, he was amazing. And then afterwards we all went. It was Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins and then Dickie and Adrian and a couple other people. So we got. Get backstage passes after the show. So we're in the fucking green room with Slash and Axl Rose and all these, all these famous old rockers are hanging out and they're all dressed the same. Everybody's got black jeans, black sneakers, concert T shirt, leather jacket. Hair still there? They still got the hair. It's amazing. And a lot of them are buff. They, they like, they're taking care of themselves. Some of these guys, you know, like Axl look kind of ripped and so crazy. It's so funny when I think about, like, well, just to change topics, just the idea that some people get, they bulk. You take like skinny little bald guys and they get hair transplants and they take, you know, testosterone and fucking whatever those bodybuilding pills are, and then they lift weights like crazy and they completely change their look. And, and these are always the same guys that, that, that just reject trans people as saying, well, that's not who they are. They change the way they look. Well, so did you. Anyway, quick observation. Also went out. Jesus Christ. I went to the Bernie Sanders. I love Bernie Sanders. What can I say? I think he's a guy that consistently has said what he believes for 50 years. I think he walks the walk, you know, it's so funny that there's all this spin. Well, he owns three houses. Yeah. One's a fucking shack next to a duck pond in Vermont. Like, whatever. Has he not earned enough as one of the biggest politicians in the country for 50 years? Anyway, so we went to see his rally and I of course, posted a clip of it and got annihilated by people from the right, which I don't even know who my listeners are. I don't talk politics much. I'm not a political person that much. But it is amazing when I put something as innocuous as a 10 second clip from a Bernie rally, how upset people get. But I have to say, we're fucked. As a Democrat, I saw those people at the rally and I realized I could beat the shit out of 99 out of a hundred of them and I'm fucking 58 years old. We would get. They are just the softest, you know, NPR tote bag wearing, you know, Birkenstock I like. And then I picture the typical Trump dudes rolling up four guys in A pickup truck with mullets packing muscle heads. We. If. If it comes down to fists in the street, we're done. We're done. Here's a joke. I was talking to my daughter and her friend, and she was talking about how she's dating this guy, but she found out that he does magic. And I was like. And she goes, it's a deal breaker. She says, it's over. I didn't know. And she goes, I can't date him anymore. And I said, what if he was a mime? And she goes, no, a mime I would love. Because then he would just be quiet and you could put him in his box. How fucking great is that? This is just a chick my daughter hangs out with. And so I may. I said, can I use that in my act? I think I might expand on that. Here's the other thing I know. These are quick little things that I'm noticing. Went to Home Depot a lot this weekend. I built two sheds on the side of the house, and we got some flowers and plants for the backyard. Anyway, here's what I realized. If you go to Home Depot alone, as a man, you feel very masculine. But if you go with your wife, you feel like a fucking. There's something about her saying yes and no to things that you're putting in the cart, and you end up walking three or four steps behind her. So I just say to her, I'll go. You give me a list. I'll go, here's my other notice. She likes to point out continuity problems in movies. We're watching a movie, and she goes. She goes, his shirt was untucked, and then they cut to her and they cut back and his shirt was tucked in like that. And I go, oh, oh, I forgot to tell you. It's not real. It's all pretend. That murderer, he's just the guy who lives in a condo in Studio City. He's even a nice guy. He's never killed, never even hurt anybody. I know, but now he's a killer. Yeah. And that living room, it's four pieces of plywood with wallpaper on it. Yup. It's not real. Isn't that crazy? Went down to Laguna beach also this week. My sister flew. Well, my brother was here all week. We had a blast. We had a really good. I don't know if I talked about on the podcast. I. Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm repeating things on the podcast. If I am, just enjoy it. I mean, does anybody go, hey, we want to play freebird? No, we've already heard Freebird. Well, that, that last joke was a Freebird joke. You should have your lighters out calling out, do the Home Depot bit. What joke is it? You wanna hear Home Depot? So I went down to Laguna with my sister, my son and daughter. No, my daughter didn't come. She fucking bailed. My wife and son came down to stay with my sister and niece and her friend and we got this really cool house in Laguna. Laguna beach is a fresh, fun town. They got good food, like restaurants with decks right on the sand on the ocean and cool little coffee shops and record shops and used. I'm not into used clothing, by the way. We walked into a used clothing shop and I was like, yeah, it's someone else's shit. It stinks like mothballs and the leather is hard. I'm not into it. But we went down and we went to this restaurant and they pre games. My niece and her friend are big drinkers and Owen was trying to keep up and he got sloshed. He had a few stiff drinks at the house and then he had a few drinks at the restaurant and so. But he got so drunk he was kind of saying dumb shit at the table. And then afterwards he was like telling me how much he loves me, which was very nice. He just, he was, he's like, you're the best dad. You did this for me, you did that. You know, I, I look up to you. Is a really nice. And I really was almost like, I don't know, truth serum. I hope it was true serum or. Either that or he was drunk and telling me shit. But it was nice. I gotta get, I gotta get people in my life around me drunk more. Say, tell me how much they love me. That's all I need. I don't need to act better. I don't need to give them more gifts. I just need to get them drunk. All right. Speaking of getting drunk, I'm coming to some comedy clubs in your neck of the woods. Huntington beach at the Mamba on May 4th. Escondido at the Grand Comedy Club May 9th and 10th. Cincinnati, the Commonwealth something on May 16th and 17th. It's actually in Dayton, Kentucky, Tampa Bay side splitters June 5th through the 7th and then a one nighter in Naples, Florida at off the hook June 8th. Also coming to Torrance in June, Austin, Texas, 4th of July weekend at the mothership. Point Pleasant, New Jersey, La Jolla, Vegas, Chicago, New Orleans. Go to fitzdog.com, pick up some tickets, come see live comedy. Give me a hug. Bring me some fucking Honey nut cashews from Trader Joe's. A lot of people do that because they know I love them. Also, don't forget there's new merch for Sunday papers. Hats, T shirts, mugs for the fifth anniversary. Go to fitzdog.com for the merch as well. Wear it proud. All right. Spooking a proud. My guest today is one of my dearest friends for the last 25 years, maybe more, maybe 30 years. We were next door neighbors in Little Italy in New York for years, and then moved out to LA around the same time. Lived three doors away from each other in Venice beach for about fucking, I don't know, 10 years. And he's very close to the family. My kids consider him an uncle. And he's just. He's got a circle of friends that I love. He loves my friends from other places, like college. And then he's got a cast of characters as friends. And we all spend a lot of time together. And it's nice. I could tell you stories all day about us, but I'll just get to the interview. Cause I think we get into some good stories in the interview. His book Chaos has been on the bestseller list, the New York Times bestseller list for 33 weeks straight. And it's huge. You probably heard him on Joe Rogan talking about it. You heard him once before on this show talking about it, and we had a great conversation. I think we're gonna have to have another one. There's a lot to get to. So here he is, my buddy, Tom O'Neill. Foreign. This is a very big show today. Here, move that mic right next to your face there.