S4: Ep 27 - Songbird and the Heart of Stone by Carissa Broadbent - PART 1

Summary

Flights of Fantasy Podcast
Season 4, Episode 27: "Songbird and the Heart of Stone" by Carissa Broadbent – Part 1
Release Date: November 26, 2024

Hosts:

• Anna
• Kim
• Christina

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1. Introduction to the Episode

The episode kicks off with Anna welcoming listeners to Flights of Fantasy, a podcast book club where hosts Anna, Kim, and Christina delve into their favorite fantastical novels. While Anna emphasizes the necessity of having read the preceding books in the "Crowns of Nyaxia" series for a comprehensive discussion, the trio promptly shifts focus to the featured book: "Songbird and the Heart of Stone" by Carissa Broadbent.

Notable Quote:
Anna [00:10]: “Welcome to Flights of Fantasy, your podcast book club.”

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2. World Building Overview

Anna provides a concise refresher on the intricate world of Nyaxia, highlighting its rich vampire lore divided into three distinct types:

• Shadowborn: Masters of mind control and shadows, including necromancy.
• Nightborn: Wielders of night sky magic called Asteris and Nightfire.
• Bloodborne: A lesser vampire house marked by jealousy and betrayal.

She introduces Morthran, a divine prison predating vampires, central to the series' conflict and magic system. The descent into Morthran mirrors an otherworldly journey akin to Dante's Inferno, with each sanctum representing deeper layers of the underworld.

Notable Quote:
Anna [01:30]: “We are in the land of Orbitrace. This is the land of Nyaxia. It's the vampire homeland.”

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3. Character Introductions

The hosts outline the primary characters in "Songbird and the Heart of Stone":

• Misha: A turned Shadowborn vampire and the chosen bride of Atraxas.
• Asar: Bastard son of the Shadowborn King, warden of Morthran, and master necromancer.
• Atraxas: Lord of the White Pantheon and God of the Sun.
• Nyaxia: Mother of vampires, creator of the vampire clans, and a lesser goddess.
• Alaris: God of Death, exiled and killed by Atraxas for his forbidden love with Nyaxia.

Notable Quote:
Kim [06:11]: “We love you so, so, so much. Thank you so much for being so wonderful.”

---

4. Prologue and Key Themes

Anna reads a poignant excerpt from the prologue, setting a dark and foreboding tone by depicting Atraxas's manipulation of young Misha, foretelling her fall from grace. This segment underscores themes of power, manipulation, and the struggle for self-identity.

Notable Quote:
Anna [10:34]: “This is a tale of how a chosen one falls. She does it screaming, clawing for her old life with broken fingernails...”

---

5. Plot Discussion – Body Sanctuary

The discussion delves into the first sanctum, Body, characterized by damp decay and psychedelic mushrooms. Misha's academic curiosity shines as she navigates this eerie environment, encountering relics that unlock memories pivotal to the overarching narrative. The sanctum serves as a metaphor for Misha's internal struggles and gradual acceptance of her Shadowborn heritage.

Notable Quote:
Kim [16:00]: “Everything smells of this damp decay, this sanctum very much mimics the first part of death.”

---

6. Plot Discussion – Breath Sanctuary

Transitioning to the Breath sanctum, the hosts explore the introduction of Ophelia, a morally complex antagonist whose tragic backstory parallels Misha's own suffering. The sacred relic here unveils Nyaxia and Alaris's tender first kiss, enriching the lore and foreshadowing forbidden romances.

Notable Quote:
Anna [17:17]: “She is so much more than that. And at one point, you know, she says, 'I know what it feels like to call for a great love and hear no answer.'”

---

7. Plot Discussion – Psyche Sanctuary

In the Psyche sanctum, the narrative intensifies with the revelation of Asar's traumatic past and his vow to protect precious things from being taken away violently. This section highlights his deep-seated guilt and desire for redemption, adding layers to his character and his relationship with Misha.

Notable Quote:
Kim [36:25]: “Nothing is real. You think it's real? Not real.”

---

8. Notable Characters and Interactions

The episode spotlights the dynamic between Misha and Asar, their evolving relationship marked by mutual support and burgeoning romantic tension. Additionally, side characters like Esme provide warmth and depth to the main characters, enriching the overall storytelling.

Notable Quote:
Christina [45:03]: “Esme. Oh, my gosh, you guys, we love her.”

---

9. Themes and Insights

The hosts discuss overarching themes such as self-worth, the dichotomy between light and dark magic, and the painful journey towards self-acceptance. Misha's internal battle with self-hatred versus her growing embrace of Shadowborn magic serves as a central narrative arc, symbolizing her quest for identity and love.

Notable Quote:
Anna [24:00]: “She refers to herself throughout the book as dirty and wretched and stained...”

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10. Conclusion and Teaser for Part 2

As the episode wraps up, the hosts hint at intense confrontations and deeper character explorations to be covered in Part 2. They encourage listeners to continue supporting the podcast through Patreon for exclusive content and chapter chats.

Notable Quote:
Christina [52:43]: “There is so much more to get to in part two.”

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Final Thoughts

"Songbird and the Heart of Stone" weaves a captivating tale of love, betrayal, and self-discovery against a backdrop of a richly built fantasy world. Through their detailed discussion, Anna, Kim, and Christina provide deep insights into the book’s complex characters and intricate plot, making this episode a must-listen for fans of the series and newcomers alike.

Notable Quote:
Kim [50:41]: “This is everything. Everything we wanted.”

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Cheers and happy reading!

Transcript

[Anna]

Welcome to Flights of Fantasy, your podcast book club. I am one of your hosts, Anna, and I am joined, as always, by my book besties, Kim and Christina.

[Kim]

This episode is brought to you by Dutch Bros. Big smiles, rocking tunes and epic drinks. Dutch Bros. Is all about you. Choose from a variety of customizable handcrafted beverages like our rebel energy drinks, coffees, teas and more. Download the Dutch Bros app for a free medium drink. Plus find your nearest shop, order ahead and start earning rewards offer valid for new app users only. Free medium drink reward upon registration. 14 day expiration terms apply. See Dutchbros.com Yay.

[Christina]

Hello.

[Anna]

Hello, we're here.

[Kim]

Welcome to our chat. Oh, my goodness.

[Anna]

Guys, Dinner and a show.

[Christina]

Guys, we're doing a musical edition of an episode tonight.

[Kim]

Don't tempt. Just with a good time, we'll do it. Okay. We are not singing. Dana, tell us what we're talking about.

[Anna]

No, we are not. We are here to discuss the Songbird and the Heart of Stone by Carissa Broadbent. It is the newest addition to her Crowns of Nyaxia series. This book is following Misha and Asar. It is book three in the Crowns of Nyaxia series. It is after the duology that was Aurea and Raine. So if you have not read those, I don't know why you're here.

[Christina]

What are you doing?

[Anna]

Go read those quickly and come back.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Anna]

Also, we received an arc for this book. Thank you so much, Carissa. It's been amazing to read. But on that note, there are a couple new characters and we don't have a pronunciation guide for them. So we apologize if in this episode and part two of this episode we mispronounce new characters names. We tried our best.

[Kim]

We usually check the audible. Arc doesn't allow us to do that.

[Christina]

Sorry that we had an arc.

[Anna]

Such problems. Um, but on Carissa's Instagram, in her stories, she has a saved highlight titled pronunciation. And the way that Misha's name is pronounced is Misha. So that is what we're going off of. Sometimes it's Mish for that's her nickname. So. All right. And Kim, do you have some Patreon shout out for sure.

[Christina]

Do I have some lovely tier 2 book benches to shout out? And in this episode, we are going to be shouting out Morgan Blackburn, Jill Blecha, Christine Elliott, Samantha Ferguson, and Emily Halbert.

[Anna]

Hi, everyone.

[Christina]

Thank you guys so much as always for supporting us, you guys. I know we say it all the time, but truly, you guys are the reason that we can still do this. And we appreciate you guys so much.

[Kim]

We love you so, so, so much. Thank you so much for being so wonderful.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Kim]

All right, friends, this is your spoiler warning. If you have not read Songbird and the Heart of Stone in its entirety, turn back now. You have been warned. Please go finish it. We'll be waiting for you here when you are done. This is also your spoiler warning for the first two books in the Crowns of Nyxia series, Serpent and the Wings of Night and Ashes and the Star Cursed King. If you have not read those and listened to our episodes on them, please go do that and come back. Okay, so Anna is going to do her favorite thing, build a world. She's going to take us through this brand new world, kind of new, kind of not take us away.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Okay. All right, so I am going to blaze through this as quickly as possible because I feel like if you have listened to our other two episodes in this world, you've kind of gotten a lot of the world building already. But just as a reminder, if you need a little refresher, we are in the land of Orbitrace. This is the land of Nyaxia. It's the vampire homeland. There are three types of vampires. You have the Shadowborn, the Nightborn, and the Bloodborne. The Shadowborn, their magic is like mind control and shadows. There's also a necromancy, which we see with Asar. There is a Nightborne vampires that is primarily in the first two books of the series with Rain and Aurrea. They have magic of the night sky that's called Asteris and Nightfire. Asterisk is like a dark, cold magic, and Nightfire is bright and hot. But we don't really see that in this book because this is more about the Shadowborn. The final group of vampires are the Bloodborne. They are considered the lesser of the two vampire houses, primarily because they were jealous of the other two houses and there was, like, some betrayal of Nyaxia, and so she cursed them. We haven't gotten a lot about the bloodborne vampires yet. We did meet Septimus in Aurea and Rain's story, but maybe there'll be another duology coming. I think so. Okay, so let's go to where our story mainly takes place, and it is Morthran and the Descent into the Underworld. Morthran is a prison created by the gods themselves long before Orbitrace was Orbitrace, long before vampires existed at all. So it predates the vampires. Each vampire kingdom has a place of divine power that they guard. The Knight palace like the kajari that was in the first two books, that was their kind of divine power that they protected. So when Asar is explaining this to Misha, he says it's not a building. Like, Northren is not necessarily a hard structure. It's a passageway. It's a bridge between worlds. I think of it as kind of like fluid in my brain. He considers it structured like a tree. So the trunk of the tree is the mortal world, and the roots, which is where they are when they're in the Descent, are like offshoots of the tree. And you're able to access Morthran. Basically. I just assume that there's, like, little doorways that when they need to escape the Descent, they're able to access 100%. And the further you make it into the Descent, the more Morthran, which is Asar's home base, becomes more deteriorated. So when we first see it, you know, it's his office and he's got all of his knickknacks, and it's like a place that's cared for. And then by the time we're in Secrets and they make it and they have to escape at one point, it's, you know, there's like tattered couches and, like, crumbling walls, and the wraiths are able to access it. It really kind of mimics wherever they are, the further they go.

[Kim]

I love the imagery of this and that. It was our home base. I thought it was such a co. And it kind of almost spoke to, like, a piece of Asar as we were getting to know Asar. It just. I loved it.

[Anna]

Yeah, it was a way for us to see him without being told about him.

[Kim]

Yes. This is where we first realized he was a sexy professor. That was a layer that the house showed us. So thank you very much for that.

[Anna]

Yes, listeners, in our mind, Asar has, like, little wire rimmed glasses and a little smirk and a dimple. And he's just a sexy little professor with ink on his hands. He's toiling away.

[Kim]

But he only needs his wire rim glasses, like, sometimes just by the fire at night. Like, he's fine without them. It's just, you know, for sexiness. It's fine.

[Christina]

It's for sexiness only.

[Anna]

He just wears them because he knows the ladies like it.

[Christina]

That's right.

[Kim]

It's okay.

[Christina]

Thank you.

[Kim]

All right, talk us through some characters.

[Anna]

Okay, so we have, like, five main players in this book so far. Misha, obviously, she is a turned Shadowborn vampire. When she was a human, she was an Acolyte of Atraxas. She is, quote, unquote, like, the chosen one. She is the bride of Atraxas. More on that later. We have Asar. He is the bastard son of the Shadowborn King. He is considered the warden of Morthran, and he is a master necromancer. We have Atraxas. He is lord of the White Panthenon. He is the God of the sun. We have Nyaxia. She is a lesser goddess. She was exiled, and she is the mother of vampires. She created the vampires. When her husband Alaris was killed, in, like, a fit of rage, she turned all of her followers into vampires. She reigns over night, shadow, and blood, hence the name of the various vampire sects. And she inherited the domain of death from her deceased husband, the God of Alaris. Right, and then our final major player is Alaris, and he is the God of death. He was exiled by the White Panthenon and then killed by Atraxus and the rest of the gods because he fell in love with Nyaxia, and she was, quote, a lesser goddess, and it was considered, like, a forbidden love. And, you know, all the Panthenon gods and goddesses were wary of Nyxia because she was kind of a rebel and wanted to shake things up a little bit. And they were like, no, we like the status quo.

[Kim]

And they were like, can you go kill her? And he was like, I will go love her instead. Yes, I will.

[Anna]

I mean, if you. If by killing, you mean, like, make out, marry her. Yes, I can do that.

[Christina]

Yeah, totally. I got it.

[Kim]

100% got it.

[Christina]

Check.

[Kim]

All right.

[Anna]

Yeah. Okay. So that leads us to the prologue and the introduction to our story. And, y'all. I mean, we had a year of Carissa last year. We have so many episodes, and the one thing we will die on a hill about is that she is the queen of prologues.

[Christina]

I. It's magical. It's truly magical.

[Kim]

I am so sucked in. It sets the tone of the book so beautifully.

[Anna]

And basically, the way that she's written this book is at the start of every single part. There is a, like, mini prologue. It's in italics. It's a backstory. And we're going to discuss that in part two of the episode, those chapters. But, my God, does it set the tone?

[Kim]

Absolutely.

[Christina]

Absolutely.

[Kim]

And it's almost like this omnipresent essence, too, because it's the girl, it's the boy. And that was the same case in the first duology and in these interludes and the prologues. And I Think it really separates you in a cool way.

[Anna]

Yeah, it's beautiful. So we meet Misha in this prologue, and she's 8 years old, and she and her sister, older sister Sasha, have escaped poverty. And they've been, like, trekking through forests and seas and whatever to get to the Citadel of Atraxas. And when they get there, they're making an offering at the altar. And it's Misha that he shows favoritism to. And he appears to her in, like, his God holiness or whatever, and he's like, hey, eight year old, you're gonna be my bride. It's so gross, God. And I really cannot wait to dive into this more in part two. So, please, I know listeners, you're probably all, like, gagging. It is so gross. There's so much to discuss. He sucks. Okay, but moving on, I want to read this quote. This is the final little bit of the prologue, and it just sets the tone so beautifully for the rest of the story. And it says, the Sun God thought he had received another devoted acolyte that day. Even he could not describe what he found so charming about the child. What did it matter? She would be another chosen one to add to his collection, happy to receive his attention when it suits him and easy to put aside when it didn't. She would follow him until the end of it all, just as all the others had. He was right for a time, but such a boring story that would be. This is a tale of how a chosen one falls. She does it screaming, clawing for her old life with broken fingernails. She does it slowly, over the course of decades, and in the end, she takes the whole forsaken world with her.

[Kim]

Oh, my God.

[Christina]

Shut.

[Anna]

Oh, my God.

[Christina]

Like, shut up.

[Kim]

Like, it's beautiful and so cool. And it also feels like almost like a teaser trailer where I'm like, give it to us. I want more. Let's go.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Anna]

Yes. This is the story of how a chosen one. Like, yes, immediately. Yes. I wanted to read the story immediately. Yes.

[Christina]

Give it to me now.

[Anna]

Give it to me. Inject it. Thanks. I need it.

[Kim]

Okay. All right. What happens next to our sweet, sweet Misha?

[Anna]

Okay, so quickly, just to set the story a little bit, Mish wakes up in a cell, and. Because at the end of the last book, she kills her maker, Malik. And Malik is the he to the Shadowborn Kingdom, which is unfortunate, because obviously when you kill the heir, there's people going to come after you. So she wakes up in a cell, and there's Ygritte. Oh, Ygritte.

[Kim]

Can we pause on Ygritte for a second?

[Christina]

So we were tech. We just started texting because it's about this book. Anna starts texting us.

[Kim]

I found it.

[Christina]

Okay, go, Christina. Go first.

[Kim]

First text about this book. Also, this Ygritte chick sounds like a real fucking peach. Assuming she's named after the egret bird. So this is what I'm picturing. Picture of a scary egret. This is the next text from Anna. To be fair to egrets, though, they are kind of a majestic bird. So I did have to search quote ugly egrets to find that picture. Kim says, and we should always be fair to egrets. You know, show some respect. They're a majestic bird.

[Christina]

They should. Oh, God.

[Kim]

Okay, so, yeah, she does suck. Egrets do not Ygritte.

[Anna]

I need that to be very clear. This is not an egret hate podcast. We have a lot of love for egrets and their majesticism, but she is.

[Christina]

None of those things.

[Anna]

But she is none of those things. All right, back on track. What.

[Kim]

What is Ygritte doing?

[Anna]

Okay, so Ygritte is there. She basically, she captures Misha, and she wants to make her an offering to her father because Misha killed the heir, and that's Ygritte's brother. Anyway, so she offers him to her father, the Shadowborn King. And he listened, listeners. This is why democracy over theocracy. Like, the man has lost the marbles. Like he's lost the plot. He's out there like willow, willy nilly. His shadow magic is not in control. It's bad news bears. And so they're about to execute Misha. When in walks tall, dark, scarred and broody with one eye.

[Kim]

I loved it.

[Anna]

I always forget that I was here.

[Kim]

For the one eye.

[Anna]

I love the smokey eye.

[Kim]

Me too.

[Anna]

So he walks in and he's like, pause. I have need of her. And we're like, yeah, you do. Love interest also, too.

[Kim]

This is such a beautiful juxtaposition. At the end, when they're trying to kill her and he's saying, I need her, he says he's screaming, I need her. Again. At the end when they're trying to.

[Anna]

Kill her, but he needs her in a different way.

[Christina]

What a beautiful bookend. That's beautiful.

[Anna]

Okay, so he needs her and her ties to Atraxas. Like her magic that she has from Atraxas. So, okay, this is the story. Basically. This is setting it up. We have two conflicting missions here. Nyaxia has tasked Asar with resurrecting Alaris. But, oh. Atraxas has tasked Misha with helping to resurrect Alaris and then kill him. Basically, Atraxas tells Misha that a major deity cannot kill another of its own. It must be done by, like, a lesser being. Which is hilarious because everybody thinks that Alaris is, like, dead dead. But apparently he's not dead dead. He's, like, kind of dead.

[Christina]

Guys, have we not learned our lesson about this? In other stories, if you don't make sure they're dead, someone will resurrect them. And it's not going to be good news.

[Anna]

It's not going to be good. So I guess because Elaris soul is tied to various parts of the sanctum and the descent into the underworld, he is able to be resurrected, right?

[Christina]

Like Voldemort.

[Anna]

Exactly. They are Horcruxes. So that leads us to necromancy. Asar is the warden of Morthran and has been performing necromancy in the name of his father for, like, God knows how long. So there are five main Sanctums that are needed for Body, Breath, Psyche, Secrets, and Soul. I thought of it as like a pentagram.

[Christina]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Anna]

It's, like, giving very cultish vibes. I mean, it's necromancy.

[Kim]

There's a lot of cult vibes going on in this whole book.

[Anna]

So basically, the main parts of the book are those five parts of necromancy, and we have to go into Descent, which is kind of like Dante's Inferno in my mind. And each of these sanctums is like another layer of hell until you make it into the underworld. So that leads us to our first part of the book, our first sanctum, which is Body. And, Christina, can you take us through this?

[Dana]

Yes.

[Kim]

Let's go to Body.

[Christina]

Body.

[Anna]

Body.

[Kim]

Ada.

[Anna]

Guys, we weren't kidding. We're giving you a musical, a musical episode.

[Christina]

What do you want us to do but break out into song?

[Kim]

Just a little Megan the Stallion for you. Start your day off right. Okay, so Daddy Death, AKA Alaris, he made himself those Horcruxes. We have to go hunt them. Our first one is Body. So we meet the wraiths, which are pret. Souls that have not fully crossed over. They're getting stuck in the various sanctums, and the longer they are stuck there or the further into the Sanctums they go, the more crazed they become. They're kind of giving zombies while also being wraiths. They're really attracted to the living. They, like, crave it. They want your life. They want your essence. But there's these blood rivers and that with the Ivory Bone mountains. That imagery was really beautiful in a very scary way. But really the main thing here are the mushrooms. I couldn't get past the big psychedelic mushrooms. And I was like, I could. I needed someone to eat them. Is it like fairy wine, shrooms? Like, I need someone to try it.

[Christina]

Just try it.

[Kim]

We have nothing else to lose. Somebody eat a mushroom sandwich.

[Christina]

It's for research. It's academic. Okay.

[Kim]

I think they would get behind that.

[Christina]

Absolutely.

[Kim]

But yes. So everything smells of this damp decay, this sanctum very much mimics the first part of death. So it is very earthy. The mushrooms, the rainbow fungi, all those things. And this is also a really interesting first kind of look into Misha with her academicness, her inquisitiveness, her curiosity. Like she sees this thing that would be scary and overwhelming to a lot of people and to her, she just wants to understand it. And she's very curious specifically about the dark, not just the light. And this is before she has ever even thought about using her dark magic. So we're seeing that that was a part of her before that Shadowborn magic was even a thought in her brain. It's interesting. She's planting these little seeds this early on for sure. So our first relic we to is this tree branch. So pretty much what's going to happen when we find a relic? Not only do we get the horcrux, we go into a pensieve. Yep, we're going to go into that pensive. We're going to get a memory. Our first dive in. Everyone get your swimmies. The first one that we get here is the tree branch. And that memory is the meet cute of Niaxia and Alaris. Nyaxia actually stabs him with this tree branch. That's why it's like a part of his body.

[Christina]

So cute.

[Kim]

It's adorable Rom com moment. You know, it is fun. She is like, you know, I thought even playing field pretty much like we should both be bleeding.

[Christina]

Right.

[Kim]

I really, I love that these relics and the little scenes was their love story. It wasn't just like things that were important to Alaris. Like, you know how at the end of book two, she had to go through that legend of the Hidden Temple with all the things that were important to Vincent. And yes, some of them were about her and her mom, but I liked that this wasn't about what was important to him, like as a man. It was just like about their love. Because then that set up the Parallel of their forbidden love, maybe foreshadowing Asar and Misha's forbidden love. And it kind of got us in that epic love story headspace, almost, which I thought was really smart. And there's this quote from Ophelia about them, too, and this being a foreshadowing of their forbidden love and them as their dynamic, that it does happen later because it's Ophelia. But it's interesting to put it here. So Ophelia says she is very interesting. I see why you enjoy her. Another attractive curiosity. But she only knows how to love things she can fix. And there is no fixing you, is there? Or perhaps that's why you would be so perfect together. A girl who can only love broken things and a boy so broken he can only love what he cannot have. A perfect match.

[Christina]

Oh, my God.

[Kim]

I know, Carissa.

[Anna]

I mean, we could have quoted the entire book, but we're not getting paid to be an audiobook, so.

[Christina]

Not yet.

[Anna]

And I'm pretty sure there'd be like, you know, copyright infringement issues, but.

[Christina]

But we would if we could just.

[Kim]

The love story building in. This was. Was really interesting and really well done, but. Okay, before we get further, everyone's really smelly, and I think we might need a bath. And you know who likes baths in books? Kim?

[Christina]

I do.

[Anna]

Kimberlyn. Okay. Loves a bath.

[Christina]

It's bath time. Thank you, Carissa. I just, you know, we all love a bath time, but I especially appreciate when authors take the time to note that their characters are bathing. Because if we're going to be doing sexy time things, I think just for the sake of cleanliness, it's important to have a bath. So we go back to Northren, everybody bathes, and Misha falls asleep and she has like a dream slash flashback to her wedding night with Atraxas. And y'all, she's 16 years old. I just need to put that out there. She's 16 years old, she's in her wedding dress and she's in the mirror and Atroxas is lounging on the bed like. Like he says, staring, but I'm gonna say leering at her because she's a 16 year old child and he's like, eating this apricot and she's looking at herself in this beautiful dress and kind of thinking about their wedding. And then he gets up and, like, kisses her. Y'all.

[Kim]

Something about the apricot really disturbed me. I was like, I'm.

[Christina]

Well.

[Kim]

And then at some point she says, he throws the pit on the bed.

[Christina]

Next to him on the bed, in the sheets.

[Anna]

Sir, Sir.

[Kim]

He's terrible. This was our first real glimpse into how terrible he is. Like, he. We knew he was terrible, but this was like, oh, we're another level.

[Christina]

Oh, we're. We're gross. So thankfully she gets woken up from this dream flashback by the house. Morthran wakes her up and she follows this tugging feeling and it leads her to Asar. And Asar is working to fix the gates in and out of Moran. And those gates are deteriorating. And the more deteriorated that the gate is, the more likely that the scary race faiths can get through. We obviously don't want that. So Misha immediately, because she's a helper. She is a helper. She immediately dives right in and is like, let me help you. And he shares his magic with her. And this is the first time that Misha uses her Shadowborn magic. And I love this part so much. I loved everything about how she describes this. So we're going to talk about Misha's power a little bit and how it's kind of tied to her self worth.

[Anna]

Yes.

[Christina]

Plus her little heart, you guys. I just. My heart goes out to her so much. I know she's not real, but like.

[Kim]

I want to give her a hug.

[Christina]

She is in my heart.

[Anna]

She is in our heart. It was really hard to read at times.

[Christina]

She hates herself a lot. But when she uses the Shadowborn magic that she shares with Asar, it's such a contrast to Atraxas magic. And when she taps into the Shadowborn magic, it's so easy. She literally says it's like gulping a breath of fresh air. Whereas we know with Atraxas magic, she has to beg and plead to be able to use it. And then she's still left with third degree burns all over her body and it's pus filled burn like, oh, disgusting. So after this, Asar kind of says, you should cultivate your Shadowborn magic. Like, you should work on it because you're kind of good at this. And I actually love her response. Typically, I don't like when female characters are kind of willfully ignorant, are kind of like, what? No, I'm not powerful. And it's like, okay, you clearly aren't. But her reasoning for not using it is so valid. She says, I didn't choose this. I didn't want this. I was 19 years old when your brother turned me. Don't try to tell me that it's some kind of gift that I'm supposed to embrace. I lost everything. That night I lost. I drew in a long breath and let it out. Whatever magic I have from him, Asar's brother, her maker, I don't want it. I wield the magic of Atraxas, not Nyaxia. I have my faith and I have the love of my God. That's all I need. And a star is like holding either her wrist or her hand. And he rubs his thumb over the scars on her palm and he mutters, right. Looks like love.

[Dana]

This is what you do when you've just found that statement handbag on ebay and you want to build an entire wardrobe around it. You start selling to keep buying. Yep. On ebay, over that all black everything phase. List it and buy. All the color, feeling more vintage than ever. It's out with the new and in with the pre loved. Next thing you know, you've refreshed your wardrobe basically without spending a dime. Yeah, ebay. The place to buy and sell new pre loved vintage and rare fashion.

[Kim]

Oh, my God, y'all. I love this so much. And it's like he doesn't push too much. He's being gentle with her, but he also is willing to be like, this is not right.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Anna]

This is not okay. Yes. I feel like he really is letting her come to that realization. And we'll see that throughout the book as Misha's, you know, gradual arc and kind of learning how to embrace her true self.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Kim]

And what love should look like and feel like.

[Christina]

Yes. Yeah. And I love that he calls her out in a way that feels very respectful. But, you know, poor Misha, she really hates herself. And it's so heartbreaking to read. She hates herself for being turned, even though that was absolutely not her fault and it was against her will because Atraxas makes her feel bad.

[Anna]

Some might argue that it's Atraxas fault because he's the one that sent her to Orbitrace on some stupid little mission.

[Christina]

Right.

[Anna]

And she gets turned into a vampire.

[Christina]

Right, sir?

[Anna]

Anyways, so she refers to herself throughout.

[Christina]

The book as dirty and wretched and stained. And it's just really infuriating to see because you can tell that she is a wonderful person. And she is so caring and so loving and so kind. And all she's ever wanted to do do is help people and be accepted and loved for who she is. And she's clearly not been shown that that is the case. And so we do kind of start to see that shift in Misha. She makes the descent and starts to train with Asar and They're in one of the levels. And she says I could sense the power of Atraxas throbbing behind the thick layer of marble. Once it might have been invigorating, but now it's stung, uncomfortable under my skin, like an off key chord. But then she talks about unleashing her Shadowborn magic. And she says, how had I forgotten that magic could feel like this? So right. Using the power of the sun had become so painful. But this was anything but. The shadows enveloped me, protected me, flared around me like wings. I could feel the thoughts and emotions of the dead waiting for me like strings of an orchestra to be played. I could feel the silent song of the descent hitting its. Its perfect notes. And I could feel Asar walking me into the dark. This was what magic should be. Easy, like breathing.

[Kim]

Wow. My God. The beauty.

[Anna]

The beauty.

[Christina]

Are you kidding me?

[Anna]

It's like the way that she uses music in both. Talking about Atraxas magic being an off key chord and then using it also to describe like it's an orchestra. Like strings wanting to play.

[Christina]

It's perfect.

[Anna]

Notes are like, mmm, Chef's kiss. Carissa.

[Kim]

You feel it? You feel this? She's just tried to make this work so hard with the other magic. And then all of a sudden this happens. Like this is what this should feel like. And it really feels like this parallel to her feeling, like this is what love should feel like.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Kim]

You know, him teaching her what love should feel like as well. Throughout the story, she needed these experiences to see what she has been groveling for is not even what it really is. You know? Yes.

[Christina]

Yes. It shouldn't be that hard.

[Anna]

It shouldn't be that hard. And that's what.

[Kim]

My God, what a beautiful journey. Okay.

[Christina]

Oh, beautiful.

[Kim]

Wow.

[Christina]

Okay, Anna, what's our next level?

[Anna]

Okay, so after that, we are moving into the second sanctum. And it's breath. And I love the description it says above, there was no more sky, only endless layers of red rivers that layered over each other to a sea of ominous dark crimson. Smooth stone walls of bright white towered around us. Dots of red and black beaded on the porous surface. The blood pooled into countless ancient carvings that looked as organic as the veins in leaves. I touched the nearest wall bone.

[Kim]

That imagery is so stunning and so. It's so. It's so stunning while being so specifically fantasy, you know, I had to reread it and each little section really picture. And then when you get that whole picture, it's so stunning and different and otherworldly. I just.

[Anna]

It's amazing. Okay, so we're in breath, and there's things that happen in breath that are obviously important. And we're gonna get to the relic and stuff in a minute. But the big takeaway and the big thing I want to discuss is Ophelia. So we meet Ophelia here, and obviously, when we first meet her, we don't know who she is. But throughout the course of the book, we find out. And, I mean, poor Ophelia.

[Christina]

I know, but.

[Anna]

But if there's one thing Carissa is amazing at, it is writing these morally gray villains. We are reading this and we are like, fuck Ophelia. She fucking sucks. She always comes in at the worst moment. And then you get her backstory and you're like, girlfriend is just tired. She needs a nap.

[Kim]

She needs a hug, and she needs a snack, and she needs a nap. She could easily just be, like the mean, bad villain ex girlfriend.

[Anna]

Ex girlfriend.

[Kim]

And I'm happy she wasn't.

[Anna]

Yeah, no, she's so much more than that. And at one point, you know, she says, I know what it feels like to call for a great love and hear no answer. I called for him, meaning Asar. I called for him 72 times when they murdered me. I counted every one. And when you have that image of her being tortured and murdered, and you find out that Elias was there, who's on this trek with them, and Malik was there, and she's calling for Asar, and he can't reach her. And it very much mimics Misha's experience in first book of the Crowns and Ajax series when she is being attacked by demons, and she is begging and pleading for Atraxas to answer her call, like, to give her her magic, and he denies her. He abandons her. And I think it's just a beautiful. When Mish hears that, it's like she knows what that's like to call out for the one you love and they don't show up. Not that Asar. He would have showed up, right?

[Christina]

Yes.

[Anna]

Yes.

[Christina]

But still. But no less valid for Ophelia. You know what I mean?

[Anna]

But no less valid.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And like we said, Ophelia is. She's so complex. And there. There is so much, I think, like, anger and bitterness in her right now. And she says to Asar, are you here for me, Asar? Did you come back for me? And he says, I've come back for you so many times. You know that. Let me try one more time. And Ophelia's holding Mish. And in her, she says, she wrapped tighter around me, balancing on the edge of fury and despair, which was such a fine line between them. And anger was so much easier to bear. You never say my name anymore, she whispered. But Asar just said softly, please. God's the way he said it. Like, he put his entire soul into it.

[Kim]

Oh, my God, so many things here.

[Anna]

So many things.

[Kim]

The you never say my name anymore really gutted me.

[Anna]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kim]

And also the parallel then to Misha throughout this whole book, saying, you only say my name when you're worried about me. And it's special when he says her name and then him just saying. Him saying please. It was such a beautiful, I think, purposeful moment because this is another clue to us that Ophelia is not just an evil wraith woman. There's a history here.

[Anna]

Well, there's a lot of guilt for him tied up in Ophelia. Oh, of course. It was necromancy gone wrong. It was a moment of weakness and despair and utter, like, devastation. And he's trying to pull her back in his memory and he can't. It's unsuccessful. It's a huge fuck up on his part. And I think he. He's constantly trying. He tells her, like, I've tried to lead her to rest, but she can't. And at one point, Misha says to him, it doesn't make the love worth less just because you can't help her the way you wish you could.

[Christina]

Oh, so good.

[Anna]

And it's a beautiful little reminder because it's like you bringing her back, like, yes, that was wrong, but it wasn't like, you did it with malicious intent and you trying to help her, like. And it's not working. But that doesn't diminish the love that you two shared. It's just a really sad fact right now.

[Kim]

It's just a sad situation.

[Anna]

Yeah. But so we have. We meet Ophelia and like we said, just Karissa is so amazing at writing these characters. And, you know, no one is a villain in their own story. You know, I think the longer you're in this, like, in between, it's almost like a purgatory. The longer, I think it warps you and the more you can hold on to that bitterness and anger. And I don't, you know, I don't think Ophelia that we see in this is the Ophelia that Asar loved.

[Christina]

No, no.

[Anna]

Right. You know what I mean? Just like when we see Sesha later and the things that Seisha says.

[Kim]

Oh, yeah, no, they're dead ghost versions yeah, for sure.

[Anna]

They're dead ghost versions. They need a nap. Okay, so we escape Ophelia, and we get into, like, the temple, and there's, like, these Soul eater panther guardians that are guarding the relic. And they are able to tell that Asara's intentions are true. And so they allow him to take the relic, which is from. It's a memory of Nyaxia and Alaris, his first kiss. And it's just really sweet. It's a really. Again, I love the memories. I love these little throwbacks.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Kim]

It humanizes them.

[Anna]

It does.

[Christina]

Yes, Christina. It does. Yes.

[Anna]

Yes. Which we need. I think we really needed that. Especially after Nyaxia and how she was with Rain and Oreya in her book. In their book. So poppy petals are very pertinent to, like, Nyaxia, and we'll see that later in Souls and, like, the field of poppies, which, again, that's giving wizard of Oz. Wizard of Oz poppies. Okay, so we have the poppy petals. That's the relic from Breath. Everyone heads back to Morthren, into the clubhouse. And Elias is pissed. He thinks that this is why Asar brought us on this journey, is because he just wanted to, like, see Ophelia. And Mish is, like, hates that they're fighting. She tries to get in the middle, and Elias slaps her and shoves her really hard, and she flies against the wall. And, oh, is daddy mad? And it is so good. Oh, my God. So Asar turns around. He, like, whips around on Elias and he says, do not touch her. Unlike Elias, Asar didn't growl, didn't yell. His words were clear. Four precise swipes of the blade. It isn't her fault. He hissed, that you can't handle witnessing the results of your own actions.

[Kim]

Bam.

[Christina]

That's right.

[Kim]

My God, we love it.

[Christina]

Oh, my God.

[Anna]

Okay, so also, while we're on Asar, this is the part of the book that we're. I was really curious to see what Asar was actually doing. I knew he was doing something with the souls and the wraiths. I mean, I don't know why he would just be the warden of Morthran, but we get to kind of, like, really understand what he does. And Mish has been visited by one specific wraith that's kind of been following her through body and breath, and it's her childhood best friend, Eamon. And Eamon, we know in her flashbacks, similar to her sister, had his, like, neck torn out. We're assuming it's a vampire. I'm assuming that it was her.

[Christina]

I assumed that as well.

[Anna]

So Mish is being, like, followed by Eamon and kind of haunting her. And she wakes up and it's almost like she's in a dream. In the house, they're on the borderline of Psyche sanctum. So the Psyche sanctum is kind of starting to break into her mind and kind of like warp her thoughts and. And it's almost like leading her. And she's about to like, cross over into, like, a dangerous. Through a dangerous archway. And Asar stops her. And she's like, no, I need to help him. I need to help him. And he's like, come with me. Let me show you something. And I guess he has the ability to guide souls. And he says, I help them when I can. Sometimes I'm able to lead them through the sanctum back to their intended path, help them on to the Underworld. He staunchly refused to look at me.

[Christina]

Gods.

[Anna]

He almost seemed embarrassed. It doesn't always work. And it's harder than it used to be. I can't do it. Often a note of shame imbued his voice. Shame. As if it wasn't the most compassionate thing someone could do for another being. As if attempting to help those who were so helpless to all others wasn't such an act of bravery. I just love him.

[Kim]

They both just don't see how beautiful and wonderful they are.

[Anna]

They both don't recognize their own worth.

[Kim]

Exactly. And it's something that her seeing this about him. We figure out more of his backstory. Like, he's just never had anyone give him any self worth. So.

[Anna]

Yeah, nobody's loved him. Just Luz and Ophelia. So she. So he tells her this, and it's like this really sweet moment. And he's like, showing her. He's like, let her down into this, like, room, and there's like this water. And she can see Eamon. And he's whole and he's happy and he's okay. He's at peace. And so it moves her. And they're getting up to leave, and she launches at him and she hugs him and she holds him and she's like, thank you. And it's just this, like, really sweet moment. And she's like, you do care what I think about you. And he's just like, absolutely not.

[Kim]

Like, their banter's so cute.

[Anna]

I really enjoyed it. I love all their banter. So that's where we are in breath. And then we move on to the final part of this episode, which is Psyche and Psyche.

[Kim]

All right, so the description of Psyche is really, really cool. Again, broken record, the imagery, but just listen to this, okay? Glass, smooth, red spread out before us. Islands of bone white dotted the surface like lily pads. The sky, endless black, shifted with storm clouds that moved a little too fast, crackling with silent slivers of lightning that somehow did nothing to illuminate the darkness. Our proximity to the underworld was unmistakable. Now death surrounded us. I could feel it clinging to my clothes, my hair, my tongue. It tasted like smoke and flower petals. Something about it tasting like smoke and.

[Anna]

Flower petals feels so much more eerie than just smoke.

[Kim]

So eerie. It's eerie. And Psyche is our takeaway?

[Christina]

Pretty much, yes.

[Kim]

Okay. Also, big takeaway here is nothing is real. You think it's real? Not real.

[Christina]

Wrong.

[Kim]

That includes food. That includes sexy times. Oh, actually, that's kind of real. But another really big, exciting thing. An earmark reveal. Haven't had one of these since book one. Okay, so the wicked king guy, Raoul, finally died. He was so old. Thank God we have a new king. Ding dong, the wicked king is dead. Sticking with wizard of Oz, Asar has got the airmark. He kind of has this moment of, like, surprise, too. And then Elias quickly says something to the effect of, oh, thank God.

[Christina]

Or, like, fucking finally.

[Kim]

Yeah, fucking finally, exactly. Because his oath is over. So then he's like, I can kill you. And he goes to stab him. In the course of stabbing him, Asar falls over the edge. And Misha is like, well, gotta go, Luz. Let's jump. And they also jump over the edge. Chandra thinks that she falls, but she actually is very specifically going after Asar.

[Anna]

That's cute, Chandra.

[Kim]

Do we want to talk about Elias and Chandra here? Like, what?

[Anna]

Yeah, I just didn't really understand what.

[Christina]

Their point was, but what was the point of them?

[Anna]

I kind of wish there had been a little bit more of, like, Elias being able to shed light on Asar, kind of how in this is not a spoiler, but, like, in Quicksilver, when we meet Kingfisher, you know, we have his best friend who kind of sheds light on Kingfisher's personality and his backstory a little bit. And I kind of would have liked that a little bit more. But I also understand that Elias is not Asar's friend.

[Christina]

Right.

[Anna]

So he wouldn't have been that character. But I, like, wish there was a character. I kind of wish that was one. What his purpose was, I guess.

[Christina]

Yeah. I think if we had had, like, a. You know, how Misha was Rain's best friend, and so Misha was able to Shed Light on Rain to Aurea. I wish that we would have had that for Misha, but I was thinking about this earlier when I was going over the outline, and that I think Carissa purposely does this. I think she does not like to write books with a big cast of characters. Because if you remember her other series, this is not a spoiler. If you remember her other series, War of Lost Heart, it's really just the two main characters and maybe one or two side characters that you don't actually see that much. Yeah, we don't actually spend a ton of time with the side characters. So I've come to the conclusion that it is her preference to write more isolated stories about two characters, because I felt the same way. And I was like, I would have liked to have seen a couple more side characters. You know, we'll get to the one in a bit that I love seeing interact with Asar.

[Anna]

I guess Esme does play that role.

[Christina]

Right?

[Kim]

I think Chandra gives maybe a big turning moment for her. Like, she sees Chandra as this light, as this, like, oh, that's who I'm supposed to be. And so then her deciding to leave Chandra to die, while Chandra's saying, like, no, you have to help me. We're the same. Because she sees that Chandra has actually killed the vampire babies, and she's like, bye. And chooses a sar.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Kim]

In my head, my main. Their main plot point is just so that it wasn't. Wasn't just the two of them the whole book, because then all of this would have been sped up earlier. Like, we needed other people there.

[Anna]

Sure, we need other people there. Inhibiting them. Little natural, little roadblocks. Yeah, okay.

[Kim]

All right. But they go off this cliff, and then they're in this lake. There's wraiths. And Psyche is just mind warping them at every single turn. Everything they're experiencing, it's very chaotic. And they're in these memories, but they're also seeing each other there. Our first moment of this tense kind of sexual chemistry. But it's within Psyche, and so it's within a memory. And it's like, you don't know if it's really them, but it is really them, and it's really fun. Okay, so another thing that we get here with these memories that we're talking about is backstory. And it was a very convenient plot device for us to get to see Asara's backstory within these, again, pensive type memories. But we needed it. It helped us understand him. It helped us get this story in a way. That was never going to happen. Otherwise, he wasn't going to sit down with Esme and be like. Like, did I ever tell you about that time when I was 8? So us getting it here is the only way. So thank you, Carissa. So we see him being mistreated by his father, hated by his half siblings. He just, like, wants to matter. He wants to be picked. He wants to. He's, I guess, the only bastard born child that has not just been, like, thrown away and killed. He has to be worthy. He has to be special in some way. Hence the necromancy. We won't get into the loose scene.

[Christina]

Thank you.

[Kim]

But it is traumatic and sad. And in that, at the end of it, it says, in this moment, the boy made a vow. They could beat him, they could break him, they could hurl fists and ugly words at him, and he would endure it, but they would never take another precious thing away from this world ever again. And I think that really fuels him. That's also the vow he is thinking about and talking about. When everything happens with Ophelia, which we see in this section, you know, he comes and he finds her, and he says, like, he wouldn't. Couldn't break that vow, that he made a promise. And so that's kind of why he tries to bring her back. We've already seen with the necromancy, which is where he gets the scars. It's a whole journey. But we do find out from here, he's not cold, none feeling. He's just this guarded, sweet, tortured soul, because at the end of the day, the things he loves do tend to be taken from him, and specifically, vicious ways. And then in the next episode, we'll explore more of his character as he himself opens up to Misha. But it was a great place for these childhood memories and backstory to come for us and for. For Misha, because she's living this along with him.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Kim]

So, all right. So we're gonna find this next relic. Pretty much. There's a battle, guys. Every time we get to a relic, we have to fight things to get there. It's just.

[Anna]

You have to fight the process.

[Christina]

It's just what it is.

[Kim]

So there's this box that contains the relic. Misha has to fight her reflection, and her reflection is terrifying, and it's showing her her sins and calling her tainted, and it's making her just feel all these terrible things about herself.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Kim]

She's losing this battle. She is like, you're right. I am shitty. And Atraxas is good. And I am bad. And she's just going down this bad path. But Asar shows up. And Asar does not only show up, he tears down the walls to get to her, guys. And he's running to get to her. And this quote, he sees her and it says, he looked at me as if the sight of me alive was a prayer answered.

[Anna]

Oh, my God.

[Christina]

This is what love should feel like.

[Anna]

This is what it should feel like.

[Christina]

Okay, this is the bar.

[Kim]

Oh, my God. So he sees her like a prayer that's answered. And he is like a little prayer. Sorry, musical numbers. We haven't had one in a while.

[Christina]

That's right.

[Kim]

Okay. So he sees her and he is like, use the Shadowborn magic. Embrace yourself. Embrace your darkness. Use it to fight the light when she does. And it's beautiful. And they win. And the imagery there, the parallels, the self growth, it's just. It's all happening. So our relic for this section is Alaris God ring. He takes this off when he marries Nyaxia because he commits himself to her and is basically like abandoning his commitment to the white pantheon at the same time. So he takes off this God ring. That's why it's important. And that's the pension memory. So this is another really cutie, cutie moment here. So they've already escaped. She's asking some questions. As she does, she's distracting herself a little bit by asking him these questions. And who's your best friend? He's like, luz, what's your favorite color? Green. And it's adorable. And you see her precociousness, and you also see him loving it. And it's the sweetest. Sweet.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Kim]

But she asks him what's one thing he wishes he could do? And his. His answer is to play the cello. And when I read this, I was like, huh? And then my brain was like, oh, no. This fits with sexy Professor. Sexy, sweet, tortured soul professor.

[Anna]

He loves to play the cello. He wants to play it so bad. Give him a cello, strum, a little note. He would be so sexy strumming what those fingers do. Sr.

[Kim]

Spot on. Spot on.

[Christina]

That's right.

[Kim]

Okay, so. But her reaction to this, I think, is so sweet and telling of where they are in their journey. At this point, she says the version of Asar who regretted he hadn't yet learned the cello might not fit with the image of the Wraith warden. Blood soaked exiled son of the cruelest Shadowborn king. But I'd come to know a different version of him since he dragged me out of that party and Maybe that man, the man who loved his home with his whole stone heart, who considered his dog his best friend in the world, who devoted his life to fixing broken things, would love to learn how to play the cello.

[Christina]

Oh, my God.

[Kim]

Oh, my God. And that man would love to learn how to play the cello. And he's showing himself and those sides of him to her, and it's so beautiful to see. Oh, my gosh. And another really vulnerable, sweet side to him is where we go next. Kim, take us away.

[Christina]

Okay, so this is two of my favorite things. Another bath time. But also a fun side character. Esme. Oh, my gosh, you guys, we love her. And I think we should officially petition for more of esme in book two. Who's with me?

[Anna]

I agree 100%.

[Kim]

Sign the petition.

[Christina]

Perfect. I love her. I loved that we saw Asar with her. We saw a much lighter side of him. We both bathe. It's fantastic. It's everything I could ever want in this section of the book. So we're bathing. Misha goes first, and she comes back down in this, like, little silk, sexy number. And I'm like, okay, Misha.

[Anna]

That's me.

[Christina]

Like, okay.

[Kim]

Also, guys, she wears this for so long. She's in this nightgown for, like, for a lot.

[Christina]

Yeah. So she comes down the stairs, and her hair is, you know, wet or whatever. And Asar sees her, and she's like, okay, Asar, your turn. He's like, right, okay. And then she's like. He takes, like, a weirdly long time, like, arranging the papers in the book that's over his lap. This killed me. And he's just kind of, like, taking a long time, y'all. He definitely has a boner.

[Anna]

Like, she's like, did you not see the way he looked at you? And that he struggled to get up, like, girlfriend, girl. He needed to rearrange that dick.

[Kim]

That's what Esme says.

[Anna]

Yeah, that is what Esme says. She's a really cool grandma.

[Christina]

She is. I freaking love her. But then we have one of my favorite moments from the entire book. So Asar can play the piano, because. Of course he can, because he's a musical, beautiful shadow daddy. And so he's playing the piano, and Esme and Misha are. Are dancing, and he's watching them, and he has this, like, smirk on his face, which, for Asar is, like, unbridled joy. Okay. Huge. He is playing song after song, and they're dancing, and he's watching them, and Esme is like, okay, it's time for me to go to bed, and I'm just gonna leave you two alone. Whatever happens, happens. So Misha's not ready for the night to end, and she says, I think we need one more song. And Asar says, greedy of you. I've played you dozens of songs.

[Anna]

Songs.

[Christina]

And she says, yes, but there's one thing you haven't done. He raised a brow in a challenging. Oh, is that so? I stood. One more song, warden. And he says, because I met your beck and call. I batted my lashes at him. You can't deny me. He stared at me for a moment too long. The joke landed awkwardly between us. Heavy with all the ways we both realized it was true. Okay, so she convinces him to dance with her. And they're dancing. And as he has his. His sexy shadow hands playing the piano while he's dancing with her.

[Anna]

I loved it.

[Kim]

It's a new level. It's a new level.

[Christina]

You know, we love some sexy shadow hands.

[Kim]

It's. It's a sexy musical octopus is what's happening. I don't understand if you know. You know, we've only thought about the sexy hands in sexy times. I've never thought about it in, like, a dance with me.

[Christina]

Never.

[Anna]

Sexy Octopus 2.0.

[Christina]

Oh, my God. That's what's happening. It's Sexy Octopus 2.0. Musical edition. Musical edition.

[Anna]

It's Jazz hands.

[Kim]

Sexy octopus. Oh, my God.

[Anna]

It's Josh.

[Christina]

It's Josh Hands. Okay, so they're dancing, and he's playing a song. And Misha says, I don't recognize this song. It's different from the others you played. And he says, nothing fancy. Just something I came up with. And she says, you. You wrote this? Wrote is a strong word. I just. And he shrugged. And then after a moment, he said, I just played the notes that sounded like you.

[Kim]

Oh, my God.

[Anna]

New profession of love unlocked.

[Kim]

Like, oh, my God, I just played.

[Christina]

The notes that sounded like you.

[Anna]

No notes, carissa. No notes.

[Christina]

10 out of 10. So this is what Misha says. He spoke the words so softly, with such tender vulnerability, like a confession to a priest. I love how she ties in, like, just so innocuous sentence, but she manages to kind of tie it into this overarching theme of religion because it's so.

[Anna]

Important to Misha's character.

[Christina]

Yes, exactly. And so Misha whispers, it's beautiful. And he whispered, yes, like saying that she is beautiful. He's looking at her. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so they're dancing, and they start talking about her magic and Atraxas. And everything. And I love this part so much because it's the first time that he really not calls her out, but just sheds light on the reality of her situation and the reality of what Atraxas has done to her. And he says, it is an injustice, Misha, that this is what you got when you asked for love. This isn't what love should feel like. And she says, isn't it? I almost said, because this was what I was taught, that love was something you hurt for, something you bled for. You give your God, your life, your blood, your virgin body. You give your charges, your devotion, and never accept theirs. You give and give and give until you have stripped your soul bare. I should have told him, that's faith. Don't you understand? But instead she says, what should it feel like? Asar still held my wrist like a precious gift. He lowered his head. Like this, he whispered and brought his lips to my skin. His kiss was. Was so gentle, so tentative, that it was barely a brush against my flesh. Still, the touch sent a bolt of lightning through my body. He lifted my arm a little more and kissed me again, higher. At the next cluster of scars. It should feel like this, he whispered against my skin. Two tears slid down my cheeks. I couldn't answer him. I couldn't pull away. I had been hurting for so long that I had forgotten what it was like for something to feel good. And gods, it felt. Felt so good that it hurt. It reached past my scars, past my wounds, to the long neglected version of myself that I'd long ago abandoned.

[Anna]

Oh, my God.

[Kim]

Sorry.

[Christina]

I know I just read basically half the book, but, like, are you kidding me?

[Kim]

This is everything. Everything we wanted. We've been building up to this moment.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Anna]

It's a great insight into Mish's mentality and mindset. And this fear of, I don't. I shouldn't want this. It's dirty. And he's like, it isn't. It's beautiful. This is what it should feel like. Oh, God, it's so beautiful. I love this moment so much.

[Kim]

We've seen moments in other books of kissing scars, and it always really gets me. But something about this one in particular, the gentleness of it really came through. And, you know, she barely even shows people these.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Kim]

So him kissing them and being that intimate with them, I think was so carefully handled in a really beautiful, romantic way.

[Christina]

Yeah. Yes, absolutely. It's so beautiful. It's such a tender moment. She considers her scars to be something very dirty. They're a symbol of her, You Know, taintedness against Atraxas because she was turned.

[Anna]

Yes.

[Kim]

Yeah, exactly. And you saying that is interesting, because I feel like he. He feels like his scars are something that is, like, dirty and shameful to him.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Anna]

It's a symbol of his failure.

[Kim]

Exactly.

[Anna]

To Ophelia.

[Christina]

And that's exactly how Misha feels. She sees her scars as a failure because she can't wield Atraxas power without these repercussions. And she's like, well, this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't turned.

[Kim]

Exactly. So, like the guilt parallel there of their scars.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Kim]

And then later, when she sees his scars, she's like, they're beautiful. And he looks at her like, you don't have to lie. And she's like, no, I'm serious.

[Anna]

That parallel, it's really beautiful.

[Christina]

It's so good. Unfortunately, this sweet moment is interrupted by both Ophelia and Malak, Asar's brother.

[Kim]

Not one, but two.

[Christina]

But two.

[Anna]

Ophelia's like, I'm back.

[Christina]

God damn it. This is. I was annoyed with her. I'm not gonna lie to you.

[Kim]

Me too. But, yeah. Not one, but two of our favorite people show up here at. Not a good time. Not a good time.

[Anna]

Not a good time.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And that's basically how we end this part, is Esme holds them off so that Misha and Asar can escape and make it to the next sanctum.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

And that is where we are going to leave off on part one of the episode.

[Kim]

We sure are. What a fun part. And there's so much more to get to in part two.

[Christina]

Yes, yes. So, so much more. We did do some chapter chats for this book, so that is, of course, over on our Patreon exclusive for our Tier two patrons. So much fun to go on this journey together. That link will, of course, be in our show notes and follow us on Instagram and TikTok at flights of Fantasy Podcast. And subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And until next time, cheers and happy reading.

[Kim]

Cheers, everybody. Bye. Bye.

[Christina]

Bye.