S6 : Ep 9 - ACOSF : Revisited - PART 5

Summary

Flights of Fantasy: S6 Ep 9 – "A Court of Silver Flames Revisited" (Part 5)

Release Date: March 17, 2026
Hosts: Anna, Kim, and Kristina
Featured Book: A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Episode Overview

This episode continues the hosts’ deep dive into A Court of Silver Flames (ACOSF), focusing on Nesta’s character arc, major plot developments, healing journeys, deep lore connections (including “Mastermind” theorizing), and thoughtful relationship analysis. With Kristina absent, Anna and Kim lead a lively and candid conversation packed with emotional analysis, fan theories, and classic book club banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nesta’s Post-Lake Transformation & Return to Velaris

• Recap: The episode picks up after Nesta's climactic breakdown at the lake and her honest conversation with Cassian about acknowledging her pain and past mistakes.
  • Kim [03:35]: “Nesta finally acknowledged all of the hurt that she's caused and also all of the inner demons she let get in the way of her own ability to heal and forgive herself.”
• New Dynamics: Nesta returns a changed woman, recommitting to training with her friends Emery and Gwen.
• Friendship Banter: The group revels in their camaraderie, joking about Nesta and Cassian’s clear chemistry.
  • Anna [04:58]: “Her and Cassian cannot stop eye fucking each other during training. Azriel is like, chill out. This is not the chaperone job I signed up for.”

2. Physical & Emotional Intimacy with Cassian

• Nesta and Cassian’s relationship is now openly passionate, showing newfound vulnerability from both. The “spice” in ACOSF and explicit dialogue draws reactions from the hosts.
  • Kim [06:06]: “Nesta is a freak.”
  • Anna [06:13]: “Get you some girl. Absolutely. I mean, it's Cassian. We are all clapping and cheering for her.”

3. Gwyn’s Song and the Magical Harp: Prison Heist & Lore

• Key Event: Nesta attends evening services to hear Gwen sing, immersing her in a trance that leads her to locate the third Dread Trove item—the Harp—in the mysterious prison.
• In the Prison:
  • Eighth Court Theory: Mystical runes, star patterns, and characters hint at the prison possibly being the lost Eighth Court of Prythian.
    • Anna [08:32]: “An eighth court, you say?...I think what they're both sensing when they say that the magic here feels different is whatever this 8th court used to be.”
  • Symbolism: The harp rests on an eight-pointed star, paralleling Nesta’s “made” bargain tattoo.
• Unlocking the Harp (MM:SS 10:06): Nesta accidentally frees both herself and the death god Lanthys, escalating the danger.

4. Showdown with Lanthys: Power, Swords, and Ancestral Hints

• Nesta’s Sword (Ataraxia): Unique in that it can harm ancient beings, unlike regular fae weaponry.
  • Kim [12:16]: “Lanthus is terrified of this blade because he senses that it can actually inflict pain upon him.”
• Lanthys’ Words:
  • Kim quoting Lanthys [12:49]: “Witch from Orid.”
  • The hosts speculate about what this means, flagging the term for “Mastermind” theory discussions.
• Beheading Trope: Nesta’s recurring motif—decapitating foes—sparks playful analysis.
  • Anna [16:19]: “The girl loves to hold a head moment...Some might say that this is her serial killer MO.”
• Black Blood & Binding Power: The composition of Lanthys’ blood and how Ataraxia forces corporeal form are marked as major plot devices for future ACOTAR books.

5. Healing Journeys: Nesta and Her Father

• Return to the Cabin: A pivotal, emotional section sees Nesta confronting her trauma and memories in her childhood cottage.
  • Kim [23:26]: Reads a moving section about Nesta’s complicated relationship with her father.
• Complicated Grief: They dissect why Nesta’s father acted heroically for a stranger but was paralyzed for his daughters—a lingering wound for her.
  • Kim [26:35]: “Now you show up because this random firebird came and peddled you this sad tale...I'd be pissed.”
  • Nesta realizes her healing means accepting what little her father was able to give, counseled beautifully by Cassian.
• Letting Go:
  • Anna [34:18]: “Her foreclosure is going to the cottage and choosing to let it go.”

6. Winter Solstice Ball: Power, Performance, & Politics

• Nesta’s Dazzling Dance: Nesta dominates the ball with Eris, her skills so powerful that Eris is bewitched and wants to marry her immediately.
  • Kim [37:58]: “Because she's a good dancer, she deserves a king or an emperor.”
  • Anna [39:03]: Joking reference to “Mary Poppins” as inspiration for Nesta’s supernatural pirouettes.
• Feyre’s Coddling of Elain: The hosts note Feyre refuses to risk Elain in political schemes but volunteers Nesta, foreshadowing deeper family dynamics.

7. Solstice at Home: Family, Friendship, and Softness

• Growth from Last Year: This Solstice is in stark contrast to the events of A Court of Frost and Starlight. Nesta chooses to be present and engage.
• Sibling Moments: Elain pushing back on Nesta (“Did Feyre pay you to be here?”), showing Elain’s own growth.
• Azriel & Nesta: Azriel gifts Nesta a reading light, marking a rare, genuinely touching moment in their dynamic.
  • Kim [43:19]: “We have definitely sensed a kind of connection and a sense of ease between Nesta and Azriel...and I think it's also really important for Cassian to see that comfortability.”
• Cryptic Azriel Conversation: Hints about Azriel’s secrets, possibly relating to Elain or Mor, teasing future romantic arcs and mysteries.

8. Nesta and Cassian: The Mate Check-In

• “Crumbs Become a Meal”: The romantic tension finally crescendos with vulnerabilities, honest apologies, and affirmations.
  • Cassian [49:23]: “‘Because I was fucking jealous. You looked like a queen. And it was painfully obvious that you should be with a princeling like Eris and not a lowborn nothing like me.’”
  • Anna [51:03]: Quoting Nesta: “From the moment I saw you in my house, you were all I could think about and it terrified me.”
• Mating Bond Confirmed: The pair finally, explicitly, promise themselves to each other in a raw, passionate scene.
  • Kim [53:10]: “‘You're not going to marry Eris,’ he said roughly. ‘No.’ she breathed. ‘There will be no one else for either of us.’ Yes, she whispered. Ever, he promised...”
• Love Language Playfulness: Cassian can’t resist the annual snowball fight even after the long-awaited night, injecting humor and warmth.

9. Valkyrie Training and Found Family

• Ribbon-Cutting Achievement: Gwyn, then Nesta and Emery, complete the Valkyrie trial—a symbolic sisterhood moment.
  • Anna [57:34]: “Nesta voice was thick as she declared, Valkyrie.”
  • Kim [58:07]: “They are genuinely so happy for Gwen. And it's such an incredible moment for the three of them. It's so beautiful.”
• Illyrian Obstacle Course: The women unknowingly complete the same qualifying course for the Illyrian Blood Rite, proving their strength and unity.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bantery Energy:
  • Anna [06:14]: “Get you some girl.”
  • Kim [16:17]: “She loves to behead somebody.”
• Critical Lore/Easter Egg Observations:
  • Anna [08:59]: “I don't think it's any coincidence that Nesta being made has an Eight pointed star tattooed on her body and that the harp, a made object, is on top of an eight pointed star.”
• On Healing:
  • Kim [34:13]: “She has to let it go knowing that she's not going to get closure with her father.”
• Nesta & Cassian Apology:
  • Anna [48:11]: “It's just, I'm sorry and there's no ‘but’... She just apologizes. I love it.”
• Nesta’s Vulnerability:
  • Anna [50:09]: “You are everything I have never been. And I will never be good enough for you. Your friends know it.”
• Valkyrie Sisterhood:
  • Anna [57:34]: “Nesta voice was thick as she declared, Valkyrie.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |------------|------------------------------------------------------| | 03:35 | Recap of Nesta/Cassian’s post-lake transformation | | 07:26 | Discovery of the Harp; Prison “Eighth Court” theory | | 10:06 | Confrontation and escape from Lanthys | | 16:17 | Nesta beheads Lanthys; running motif | | 23:26 | Nesta returns to family cabin; discussion of her father | | 35:41 | Solstice Ball; Nesta’s performance and Eris’ proposal| | 41:24 | Family Solstice at the townhouse; Elain/Nesta, Azriel/Nesta moments | | 47:20 | Mate check-in; confession, apology, affirmation | | 55:35 | Valkyrie training: Ribbon cutting, found family | | 58:38 | Valkyries complete Illyrian obstacle course | | 59:00 | Gwenreal/Elriel theories; Listener reference sections |

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Tone & Language

• Conversational, humorous, honest: The hosts use warm, sometimes cheeky language; not shy about poking fun at the characters (“serial killer MO”), but deeply empathetic and grounded when analyzing trauma and healing.
• Inclusive, book-club style: Plenty of “if you know, you know” asides, encouragement to join in the fandom and Patreon, and direct engagement with listeners.

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Final Notes & Looking Ahead

• Gwenreal/Elriel Theories: The hosts reiterate their preference for Gwenreal but invite friendly disagreement, promising deep-dive Patreon episodes for fans invested in these ships.
• ACOTAR 6 Tease: Various plot threads and theories flagged for future Mastermind discussions, especially about the swords, death gods, and Nesta’s lingering trauma.
• Next Episode Tease: Final part of ACOSF revisited will tackle the Blood Rite, the book’s climax, and more Mastermind theorizing.

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Summary

This episode is a rich, multifaceted exploration of A Court of Silver Flames at its heart—celebrating Nesta’s journey from rock bottom to hard-won healing, while weaving in lore, fan-favorite relationships, feminist themes, and plenty of wit. Every major development is dived into with both heart and analytical sharpness, making this recap invaluable for listeners who want to understand the depth of Maas’s work—and enjoy the ride along the way.

Transcript

[WSECU Announcer]

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[Anna]

welcome to Flights of Fantasy, your Romantasy Podcast Book club. I'm Anna, joined by my book besties Kim and Christina and together we're diving into the characters, theories, lore and magic behind all your favorite fantasy romance books. Hi book besties. Welcome back to ACOTAR Revisited, our deep dive into the series that started it all. We are so excited to be here discussing A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas and and just a reminder, we will be breaking up each book into multiple episodes so we can take our time with this incredible story. But before we give our official spoiler warning, we have a few announcements.

[Kim]

Okay, first we want to say a big big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to rate and review our show. If you are looking for a free way to support us rating and reviewing the show on Spotify Apple podcast, it truly does help us so much. So if you have already done that, we want to just say a big thank you. Also, let's quickly chat about what we've got going on in March over on our Patreon. Oh my gosh you guys. We have such an incredible month of content going on over there right now. Obviously we have the full video episode of our SJM Call Her Daddy interview episode. Also for our SJM series episode we are doing a theory episode on Gwen being a light singer. Oh my gosh, this episode was incredible. We do an almost hour long breakdown theory about whether or not Gwen from ACOTAR is a light singer. Christina did an incredible job deep diving and researching this. You cannot miss miss it. Also, Anna and Christina are going to be chatting about season four, Part two of Bridgerton and finally Conform Chapter chats are coming. Oh my gosh. We had the time of our lives recording chapter chats on Conform by Ariel Sullivan. We will be covering it in two main feed episodes on the podcast, but chapter chats are going to start coming out in March on Patreon for Tier 2. You do not want to miss those. They are incredible. And then lastly I will be doing a written post of my recent five star reads. I have been reading so many incredible book books, from thrillers to romances, historical romances. A lot of them are on KU and I just could not wait to get my thoughts out to our book besties over on Patreon. So be sure to check all of that out and be sure to join our Patreon family. It is incredible. We would love to have you and

[Anna]

Kim, will you please shout out some of our Patreon Tier 2 book batches?

[Kim]

Yes, I would love to. So one of the many benefits of being one of our tier two book bitches is that you get a special shout out in one of our episodes. And in today's, today's episode, we are going to be shouting out Lisa S. Carlisle O. And Katie S. Rose. Thank you guys so, so much for supporting us. We truly could not do this without our patrons.

[Anna]

Yes.

[Kim]

We are so, so thankful for all

[Anna]

of you, for your support, every one of you. Thank you so much.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

All right, listeners, consider this your official spoiler warning for the entire ACOTAR series by Sarah J. Maas. So without further ado, let's get back to Prythian and chat about Nesta.

[Kim]

Yes. Okay, let's start with where we left off last week. So last we had the hike conversation, the whole big climactic breakdown for Nesta at the lake, she hit her absolute rock bottom. And it was followed by a really beautiful and honest conversation between her and Cassian. And Nesta finally acknowledged all of the hurt that she's caused and also all of the inner demons she let get in the way of her own ability to heal and forgive herself.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Kim]

And obviously we talked a lot about that. It was incredibly beautiful and moving. So after staying at the lake for about a week and Nesta is really working on herself, they return back to Polaris and it is basically business as usual. Nesta gets back in the training ring and she's working on her mental and physical strength with her two besties, Emery and Gwen. I do just love how immediately Emery is ragging on Nesta is like, so you're telling me that you and that sexy piece of man meat over there were alone together for a week and nothing sexual happened? Like, girl, what?

[Anna]

I know, I love the little camaraderie that they've all found. And Emery is like the classic sarcastic, like, sassy friend, like, I'm gonna call you on your shit.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And Gwen is like, over there, like, well, wait, yeah. Did you. But like, did you.

[Kim]

But like, did you and Emery's like, oh, they totally did. And Nessa's like, what? I don't know what you're talking about.

[Anna]

I mean like, literally, her and Cassian cannot stop eye fucking each other during training.

[Kim]

Oh, no.

[Anna]

Azriel is like, chill out.

[Kim]

He's like, damn it. I just. You made me come train here and now you're eye fucking each other and I'm having to take over. What is going on?

[Anna]

Like, this is not the chaperone job I signed up for.

[Kim]

Yeah, exactly. Poor Azriel.

[Anna]

I just love it. Yeah.

[Kim]

But obviously the biggest change, I guess you could say is that at this point, Cassian and Nesta are just going at it like rabbits. Oh my God. They are fucking every which way to Sunday. I mean, I don't.

[Anna]

I'm like, when do you sleep?

[Kim]

When do you sleep? Are you not sore? Do you not need some recovery time?

[Anna]

I mean, listen, if Cassian is as well endowed as Nesta alludes to, I feel like you need a little break sometimes.

[Kim]

We need some Tylenol. We need to. A Gatorade. We need to replenish like Gatorade.

[Anna]

We need electrolyte.

[Kim]

We need electrolyte.

[Anna]

Truly.

[Kim]

Where are our element packets? Where are our element electrolyte packets?

[Anna]

And like Sarah again has upped. I mean, rereading this, I was like, oh my God, Sarah. Yeah, the dirty talk. I was like, I'm just not used to reading it in Sarah's books.

[Kim]

Me too.

[Anna]

And she's like. Nesta is like, I can't stop thinking about you. Of your. She's like, of your cock.

[Kim]

I just like. I was just like, wow. Okay. Oh wow. Nesta is a freak.

[Anna]

I love it. I'm here for it. Listen.

[Kim]

I'm so here for it.

[Anna]

Get you some girl.

[Kim]

Absolutely. I mean, it's Cassian. Like we are all clapping and cheering for her. And we are all living vicariously through Nesta.

[Anna]

And you know what? That sex releases endorphins. Because it's exercise. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands.

[Kim]

Don't you kill their husbands?

[Anna]

So.

[Kim]

And really, that's the most important takeaway from all of us. But another important thing that happens is that Nesta agrees to go to evening services with Gwen and hear her sing. And it is so beautiful. And we know that Nesta loves music. And that was actually one of the things that she did enjoy doing while she was on her self destructive tour. Was actually going to music halls and listening to music. Now she was also, you know, drinking and her Way through the pubs. But she hasn't had that. She's been sequestered up at the House of Wind. But she really hasn't had access to any music. And so she goes and she hears and the singing is actually very meditative. And while Nesta is there, it ends up putting her in this trance like state that allows her to cross some magical veil and see where the third trove item is. The harp. And surprise surprise, it is located in

[Anna]

the prison as our most things that are interesting.

[Kim]

Yes, exactly. Yeah. Bony sea.

[Anna]

Bony sea. Atlantis as we'll get there.

[Kim]

Atlantis. Yep. All right.

[Anna]

So listeners, let's hop on board the magic school bus and bebop over to the prison island. I always feel like that's Christina's.

[Kim]

Yes. Part.

[Anna]

She's always taking us on field trips.

[Kim]

She's Ms. Frizzle going.

[Anna]

She's Ms. Frizzle. But she's not with us today.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

So now a lot happens here in the prison. And we're gonna do our best to summarize and kind of run through the important bits. Because I feel like that's what we're all here for is to run through what's important going forward.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

They locate the room Nesta saw in her vision. And I want to just read this quote and then we can break it down. Nesta studied the carvings on the floor. They all seem to spiral toward one point. I think these are stars. She breathed. Constellations. And like a golden sun, the harp lay at the center of the system. This is a night court, Cassian said dryly. But it felt different from night Court magic somehow. Nesta paused before the harp, the wards pressing into her skin as she surveyed its golden frame and silver strings. The harp sat atop a large rendering of an eight pointed star. Okay, so let's break this down A few pages earlier. We get this quote from Cassian. Rhys told me once that this island might have even been an eighth court.

[Kim]

An eighth court, you say?

[Anna]

An eighth court. So yes, while technically the prison island is under control of the night court. I think what they're both sensing when they say that the magic here feels different is whatever this 8th court used to be.

[Kim]

Yes, exactly, exactly, exactly.

[Anna]

If you know, you know, pin that for mastermind.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

Also, the harp sits upon a rendering of an eight pointed star. Which we've already touched upon previously. That obviously Nesta and Cassian's bargain tattoos itself as an eight pointed star. That's how it showcases.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

I don't think it's any coincidence that Nesta being maid has an Eight pointed star tattooed on her body and that the harp, a made object, is on top of an eight pointed star. Come on, come on.

[Kim]

That's not a coincidence. Sarah doesn't do stuff like that.

[Anna]

Yes. Now again, we're gonna pin that for Mastermind. And just a little PSA here. There is a lot in this chapter that we have flagged for Mastermind. So I want to just quickly apologize to any listeners who are new to the mass verse and maybe feeling a little lost. You're probably wondering like, well, why are we not speculating on every single little Easter eg? Yeah, but just like we can't talk about ACOTAR Book 1 and pretend like we don't already know that Tamlin's a piece of shit and that Rhysand is endgame.

[Kim]

Right?

[Anna]

It would just feel disingenuous if we ignore the bigger picture. So all we will say is that we highly recommend reading all of Sarah's series so that you can truly join us on the Masked Verse bandwagon. It's a fun little club, we promise.

[Kim]

Oh, we are so fun, you guys. A joy. We've got buttons, we've got stickers. We'd love to have you.

[Anna]

Absolutely. And then you get to enjoy our Mastermind section at the end of our episodes.

[Kim]

Right?

[Anna]

They're a treat.

[Kim]

They really, really are.

[Anna]

So well said, Kim. Keep walking us through the prison.

[Kim]

Okay, so after they get the harp, they end up actually getting trapped in that room. And Nesta uses the harp and plucks one of its strings to help free them. Now, what she doesn't realize is that because she wasn't specific with her words, we know how the FA are. The tricky, tricky Fae. You must be very specific. The harp just took it upon itself to free someone else in the prison. And unfortunately, that is Lanthus. Yes. One of the creatures aside from Briaxis. That actually scares Cassian. He scares me too. He sounds absolutely scared.

[Anna]

He sounds terrifying. Honestly, Briaxis seems like a walk in

[Kim]

the park, I think. But Briaxis is really just misunderstood. I think Braxis and Cassian could be friends. Lanthus, not so much. No. Now Cassian buys time for Nesta to run away, but, oh, she runs into the Autumn Court soldiers who were sent by Briallyn and Kosche. So what does she do? She plucks the harp again. And it takes her back to Cassian just as Lanthus strikes him. And I'm going to read this incredible quote that is such a fantastic parallel to Nesta and Cassian at the End of Acawar. But Nesta refused to hear another word. Not as she knelt over Cassian, the only thing between him and Lanthus. She had been here before, had been in this exact position. His head on her lap, Death laughing at them. Then she had curled over him and waited to die. Then she had stopped fighting. She would not fail this time. The mist pressed in, and she could have sworn she felt a hand reach for her. It was enough to set her moving. Drawing her sword in the same movement with which she shot to her feet, Nesta slashed. A perfect combination. Yes, Queen. Oh, gosh, you guys, I love. Well, first of all, it makes me so sad, because she's like, she would not fail this time. And it's like, you didn't fail, Nesta. You didn't.

[Anna]

We're still on that part of our healing drink. She's still trying to forgive herself.

[Kim]

Yes, I know. It was so sweet. And I love that she was like, nope, not this time. Like, I am stronger. I have come so far, and I am not gonna let death take us this time.

[Anna]

I know.

[Kim]

So she jumps up, and Nessa has actually been fighting with one of the swords that she made with the blacksmith. She has named it Ataraxia. And interestingly enough, Lanthus is terrified of this blade because he senses that it can actually inflict pain upon him.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Kim]

Whereas, Cassian, we love you, but your siphon magic was doing jack shit to Lanthus. Like, Lanthus was like, oh, that's cute. Is this doing something?

[Anna]

Am I supposed to be scared?

[Kim]

Cause I'm not.

[Anna]

Of your little bright lights.

[Kim]

Of your bright lights on your hands. But then Nesta pulls Ataraxia, and Lanthus visibly is scared. Interesting. Okay, we have to break this quote down because Anna put it in the outline, and I somehow missed that. Lanthus calls Nesta this, and I cannot wait to chat about this. So Lanthus goes. He seethed. I rode in the wild hunt before you were even a scrap of existence. Witch from Orid. I summoned the hounds and the world cowered at their bang. I galloped at the head of the hunt, and Fay and beast bowed before us. What?

[Anna]

I've never picked up on the fact that he calls her a witch. From Orid.

[Kim]

From Orid.

[Anna]

And I know, like, that Devlin and some of the other Illyrians call her a witch. I feel like most of the time, though, she is referenced as, like, a queen. You know, the queen of death. Yeah, but I don't know Lanthus, because he's a death God, right? And he's bigger and Older and otherworldly. I feel like when he says something, I'm like, does it have weight?

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

I'm not saying she's a witch. I mean, she's made. Clearly, that already makes her different.

[Kim]

Sure, but why witch from Orid, specifically?

[Anna]

Yeah, we don't think that's where the cauldron's from originally.

[Kim]

No, we have a theory about that, actually, in our Mastermind next week that you will have to listen to because I'm so excited. But when they were in the Bog of Ord, I know they were talking about witches, but the way that they describe them does not. To me, that doesn't sound like Nesta.

[Anna]

No. And they make it sound like those witches have all died out. And I don't know if it's just because he doesn't recognize who. What she is. I mean, he does eventually say her name without her kind of how similarly like the bone carver. Did you know, it whispers to me. Nesta. I think her power is so extreme and so insane, and she really barely utilizes it in this book until we get to the very end, which obviously we'll wait for that discussion. But I don't know. I don't know if it's just him picking up on this immense amount of power and he doesn't know where to place her. And so he's referencing her as a witch. And it feels. Her magic feels dark. It doesn't feel like starlight or sunlight. But it's just interesting that he calls her that. And specifically from Urid, that's To me, I'm like, yeah.

[Kim]

If he had just called her a witch. Okay, well, that makes sense because that's maybe the closest thing he has to kind of slot her into that category.

[Anna]

Right.

[Kim]

But a witch from Orid is just so interesting at. Right. This is obviously after the Bog of Orid, where she's able to wear the mask. She's able to command the dead, she's able to kill, slay the kelpie and Cassian and Azrael bow before her.

[Anna]

I mean, she's over here touching the harp.

[Kim]

Yes, Right. With no consequence.

[Anna]

Like, she is very loosey goosey with that harp.

[Kim]

She's like, woo, woo, let's go.

[Anna]

The harp is like whispering. It's being like the, like, how those creepy made objects are in any of these, like, magical objects in Sarah's books where they, like, start to talk in cryptic words. And I'm like, girl, I don't know if we should be plucking those strings.

[Kim]

She's like, I'm Leaving? No, I'm coming back. And now we're leaving. And I'm like, all right, let's hold on. Just let's think a second. Just hold on.

[Anna]

I don't know if we should just be plucking strings, Willy and Lily. Like we're not over here learning Hot Cross Buns. Come on.

[Kim]

God. Hot Cross buns. Hot Cross Buns. Love it. That's amazing.

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[Kim]

Why?

[WSECU Announcer]

Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Visit wsecu.org today to learn more. Washington, let's credit union.

[Kim]

Okay, so this part is so weird to me. Like, I don't like this. Lanthus puts a vision into Nesta's head of her ruling beside him. And it's pretty graphic. Yeah. And explicit. And Nesta's like, ew. Like, I don't not. Thank you. Ew. Short is passed from me. Any of that, thanks. So naturally she's like, well, I'm going to behead you. Because what does Nesta love to do, Anna?

[Anna]

Behead of somebody.

[Kim]

She loves to behead somebody.

[Anna]

The girl loves to hold a head moment.

[Kim]

She loves it.

[Anna]

This is the third time.

[Kim]

Third time in a year. In a very short amount of time.

[Anna]

Some might say that this is her serial killer mo.

[Kim]

I would say so at this point, I think three times. It makes an MO Now, I'm not a detective, but I think this is the third time in a year you've beheaded someone and held their head up. I don't know. I'm just saying it's a pattern.

[Anna]

Makes her feel powerful.

[Kim]

Okay, this quote is also very interesting. Lanthus's head and corpse fell in different directions, thumping upon the stones. Strange black blood spurted from his form.

[Anna]

Black blood.

[Kim]

Black blood, you say? Oh, pin that for mastermind. Pin it. And if you know, you know.

[Anna]

All right, listeners, really quickly, just something I want to touch upon. When they are debriefing with Rhysand later on, after they get back from the prison and they have the harp, this is what Nessa tells Rhysand, talking about her sword. She's talking about Ataraxia. A slice from its seam to bind him into a physical form. Cassian's dagger struck. True only after Lanthus had been forced to give up his mistake. Interesting. Rhys murmured. So, guys, he was in this mist, like, godlike form, unable to be harmed by Cassian, until Nesta strikes him with Ataraxia. It cuts him, and it bound him into a physical form. And then Cassian was able to deal a harsh blow. And it stuck. Right, So a theory or something I think we need to look out for in ACOTAR 6, because obviously Kosche is still going to be the Big Bad, I think, in that next book. And we're just scratching the surface with him. I wonder, because Nessa is made three of these blades, and if Eris keeps one.

[Kim]

Oh, right.

[Anna]

Possibly Eris has one.

[Kim]

Right. They gave one to Eris, but he has one.

[Anna]

And then there's another sword. She has the great sword. There's a short sword and then the blade. And I wonder if Kosche's soul is in this, like, box, Right. That we've. That has been talked about.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

Could we somehow, like, trap him form, Put him in together into a solid form like Lanthus? And that's the key to destroying him.

[Kim]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Anna. Yes.

[Anna]

I feel like they have to come.

[Kim]

Oh, they have to be setting this up.

[Anna]

Yeah. I don't know why else she would have made three.

[Kim]

Right. And three is kind of like a. To me, it seems a little bit magical. Like, I know sevens also can be magical. Yeah. But the fact that she made three, she has one, Eris has one, and then we have another one.

[Anna]

And there's also truth teller.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

I don't know if truth teller could do that too, because Atlantis refers to it as, like, a death sword.

[Kim]

Ataraxia.

[Anna]

Ataraxia. And then we know Narvan was also a death sword.

[Kim]

It's lost.

[Anna]

And Mirantha apparently chucked that into the sea and it's lost. Doubt it. Show me the body.

[Kim]

Right. Show me the body. Also, I believe it says that Narbonne was destroyed because Amarantha threw it into the ocean. And I'm like, in what world is throwing something into the ocean destroying.

[Anna]

Yeah, no, sorry. Especially a magical trovish item. Please.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

Please, please, please.

[Kim]

Like, you're just giving it a bath. You're not cleaning it.

[Anna]

You're just cleaning it.

[Kim]

So where is it? Yeah, let's figure that out. Yeah. No, I completely agree. And I think there is something that line I think will be very important because. Because Koshe is a similar situation where you can't bind him. He can materialize and be this like illusion mist. So how do you kill something like that? Well, they just did.

[Anna]

Yeah, they just did.

[Kim]

So interesting. All right, I want to quickly walk through this very sweet moment that Cassian and Nesta have, because I love them, but we don't get very many really sweet moments between them for most of this book.

[Anna]

I know.

[Kim]

So Cassian and Nesta are talking, and he says Ataraxia and Nessa could have sworn the blade hanging from her belt hummed in answer, as if it liked the sound of his voice as much as. As she did a they neared the end of the tunnel, but Nesta paused him with a tug on his hand. What? He asked, scanning the cavern. But she rose onto her toes and kissed him lightly. He blinked with almost comic shock as she pulled away. What was that for? Nesta shrugged, her cheeks heating. Gwen and Emory are my friends, she said quietly. But I think you might be too, Cassian. Cassian's silence was palpable, and she cursed herself for laying bare that wish, that realization wish she could wipe away the words, the stupidity. And he interacted. I've always been your friend, Nesta, he said hoarsely.

[Anna]

Always. Oh my God, I love them.

[Kim]

Stop.

[Anna]

That's so sweet.

[Kim]

We just never.

[Anna]

We pick up like the crumbs, you know.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Of these sweet moments. Because it's always hot and heavy and sex or anger and.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

And a lot of sarcasticness, which is great. That's their love language for sure. But when you get these moments, it just makes it so much sweeter.

[Kim]

Agreed. It is so, so sweet. And I love seeing this normalness with them. Like a normal couple that's still kind of figuring things out. But you can tell they're. I mean, obviously they're amazing. But we're not ready to have that conversation quite yet. But we will get there.

[Anna]

All right, listeners. So speaking of Nesta, obviously this whole book's about her. It's time for another mental health check in with our girl. We were really at the bottom last episode with the hike. But like we said earlier, it really does end on a beautiful note with Nesta beginning a healing journey that feels more solid this time. Yeah, I think previously in the earlier parts of this book, she was forced into this by everyone. Right. I mean, she was essentially sent to timeout at the beginning of the book and when they had their intervention. And while y. The training obviously was helping her both mentally and physically. I feel like there was a big shift at the lake with Cassie and she's vocalizing her rage and grief out loud as well as actually Showing true contrition for her past behavior. And so I feel like that lake was a shift of now Nesta making the choice to move forward in her healing journey, which I just think emphasizes a dominant theme throughout the Acotar series of choice being so important.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

And I think you can lead a horse to water, you can't make a drink. People have to want to get better and do that for themselves. No matter how much you want someone to better themselves or to make a good choice, there's only so much you can do on the outside. It really has to come from within. And I think that hike was Nessa's trigger.

[Kim]

I agree.

[Anna]

Which, you know, I think now brings us to her finally feeling okay enough and secure enough in herself and in her journey of healing to go to the cottage, which is where Kim is going to pick us up here.

[Kim]

Yes. So a really big step in Nesta's journey to forgiveness and navigating through her grief and trauma, is obviously examining her relationship with her father. So she and Cassian take a trip back to the cabin, the one that we all saw her, Feyre and Elaine live in at the start of a court of thorns and roses, the one that she shared with her father. And to understand where Nesta's headspace was in regards to her father, we have this quote from the very beginning of the book. Book Fassa. She hadn't seen the enchanted human queen since the war had ended, since the young woman had tried to speak to her about how wonderful Nesta's father had been, how he had been a true father to her, helped her and won her this temporary freedom. And on and on until Nesta's bones were screaming to get away, her blood boiling. To think that her father had found his courage for someone other than her and her sisters, that he'd been the father she had needed, but for someone else. He had let their mother die. And his refusal to send his merchant fleet hunting for a cure for her had fallen into poverty and let them starve, but had decided to fight for this stranger, this nobody queen peddling a sad tale of betrayal and loss. Number one, I forgot about this thing that Vassa tells her. What the fuck? That makes no sense to me, Anna.

[Anna]

It makes no sense. And it. Honestly, when you read that, it really does put a different perspective on why Nesta struggles so much with her father showing up at the end.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

And why she feels such guilt that he did finally show up. But when he did, she was still so lost in her own hate and grief and resentment that when he dies, that's the feeling she still had.

[Kim]

Right. So she's like, it wasn't this.

[Anna]

Here's the father who's always been there for me, who's always shown up, who's never let us down. And he dies and there's so much love. No, that's not the feeling she had.

[Kim]

But to see. This is so weird to me. And I guess I don't understand why this man could do all of these things for a complete stranger, but he couldn't do it for his daughters.

[Anna]

And of course we obviously don't get his POV right. You know, Feyre gets taken. They get gifted a bunch of money. Right. In the. In the mansion.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

But then all of his daughters are taken.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And is that the catalyst? Is that the straw that broke the camel's back, that all my daughters were taken and I have nobody and I failed them and so now. But I'm just like. I mean, I don't want to say a little too late because what he does is very important and obviously helps turn the tide of that war and acowar.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

And it showing up is better than not showing up at all.

[Kim]

Of course.

[Anna]

But it does, it is complicated. And we talk about this. We have a complicated relationship with him throughout the series.

[Kim]

Yeah. Well, I'm not going to lie, I kind of forgot about this because Akasoff is the book that we have all reread. The least amount, I would say, like we reread the first three by far the most. And so I completely forgot about this entire conversation with Vasa. And I'm not going to lie, it kind of sours because you guys know, like that scene where he shows up, always has hits for me and I don't know why it makes me cry. It's just so emotional where he's like, he had failed them for so long, but he wouldn't fail them today or

[Anna]

now it says my Nesta and my

[Kim]

Nesta and he's standing on the Nesta and that's the ship that he chose to lead into battle.

[Anna]

I know.

[Kim]

And it was just this beautiful thing. And it still is. But I'm not going to lie. Him doing all of this for a complete stranger while he sat in that cabin and let his family starve and had his youngest daughter go out into the forest and hunt. And like Nessa says, he had let her, their mother die in his refusal to send his murder hunting for a cure for her.

[Anna]

Yeah. She also says at some point when they're in the cottage, she says the moment that broke him was not my mother's death. It was losing all of his money and his merchant ships. That is what broke him. And he never came out of it. Which, I mean, to be fair, the mother seems like a piece of work actually.

[Kim]

You know what? Yeah, that's true.

[Anna]

But I'm like, but it's still. And I guess, you know, it's just a classic old timey view of a man, you know, identity being tied to his wealth, to his livelihood and providing. But when push came to shove and shit actually hit the fan, you didn't provide.

[Kim]

No.

[Anna]

You wallowed.

[Kim]

You sat there and did nothing.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Kim]

I just don't understand. You don't know this person. And then he went to Kosche, a death God.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Kim]

And bartered with him for Vassa.

[Anna]

Where was this sense of courage, as Nesta even says.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

A decade ago, I'm not gonna lie.

[Kim]

Now I'm like, yeah, you know what? I get it. If I were Nesta, I would be so resentful of my father. Of like, oh, now you show up because this random firebird came and peddled you this sad tale. And then you're like, yeah, let's rally the troops. But you let our mother die and you let us waste away in this disgusting hobble. Yeah. I'd be pissed.

[Anna]

I'd be pissed, too.

[Kim]

It's so interesting. And I just wish that we had maybe gotten something from him. I don't know. Like, it's just weird to me.

[Anna]

Yeah. Showing up at the end of Acowar hits all of us in a very big way.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

And also, like you said, we have reread Akisoft, the least of all the books in the series. And honestly, I didn't have that quote you just read with Vassa was not one that I had originally had highlighted. So it was like it didn't even register really to me in my couple reads of the book. And it was this time.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

You know, every time you read a book, or specifically a Sarah book, I feel like we pick up on new things. Right?

[Kim]

Yep. Absolutely.

[Anna]

And we've all talked about how going into this book has been a different journey than the previous times we've read it.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And I was looking at Nessa in a different light.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

And seeing that, I was like, whoa, I don't remember that.

[Kim]

Absolutely. Because this feels so validating for what she's been saying. Like, really? We still weren't enough at the end of the day. Yes.

[Anna]

I'm sure.

[Kim]

Part of it was. Obviously his end goal was to help his daughters. But that wasn't what got him off his ass. It was a complete stranger.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Kim]

As a parent, I don't know how you watch your children starve and live in a hovel. And that's not enough to get you off your ass. But a complete. I. It's just. Yeah. This whole thing was so eye openening. This re read was so eye openening for me. And now seeing this, I'm like. Yeah, Nesta. Yeah, I. You know what? This is valid. This is a valid crash out. Because 100% this is exactly. It's complete.

[Anna]

She's not nice in the beginning. She's mean. She's awful.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

But the way I think she internalized her father's behavior is so different from her sisters. And I don't know if it's because Feyre was so young. And children. Childhood resilience is a thing that's actually studied and like. She was so young when they lost everything. She was so young when they moved into the cottage. And this is. I mean, basically kind of really all she knew.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Growing up through her adolescence. And then you have Nesta, though, who has known. Knew what they lost. And processes it different than Elaine.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

So it's just. It's just interesting. Anyways, we get to the cabin.

[Kim]

Yes. Sorry. So we're at the cabin. We're at the cottage. And Nesta is showing Cassian around. And this was so rough. And Nesta is so embarrassed that Cassian is seeing this rundown shack that she called a home. And there's stained sheets and boots with holes in them. And she's just being so vulnerable. But he is such a calming, reassuring presence for her. It says she inhaled through her nose, exhaled through her mouth, counted the breaths. Cassian stood beside her through all of it. Not speaking, not touching, Just there. Should she need him. Her friend, whom she'd asked to come here with her. Not because he was sharing her bed, but because she wanted him here. His steadiness and kindness and understanding. She plucked another figurine from the mantle. A rose carved from a dark sort of wood. She held it in her palm, its solid weight surprising. And traced a finger over one of the petals. He made this one for Elaine since it was winter and she missed the flowers. And Cassian says, did he ever make any for you? And Nesta says he knew better than to do that. She inhaled a shuddering breath, held it, released it, let her mind calm. I think he would have if I'd given him the smallest bit of encouragement. But I never did I was too angry.

[Anna]

I love the mind stealing that she's doing.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

Processing. And I'm letting it go and letting

[Kim]

it go and letting it kind of calm her before she speaks in anger. It just really shows how far she's come in. Like you said, there's obviously a huge shift at the lake and you really see that here.

[Anna]

I agree.

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[Kim]

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[Anna]

in this same scene, is showing Cassie in the bedroom, the bed, the dresser that Feyre painted. Yes, and her eyes drift, like you said, to the fireplace and she sees the rose, the carved rose. But she also sees the small cot that her father slept on. She says this My father slept here for years, letting us have the bedroom. That bed in there. I was born in that bed. My mother died in that bed. I hate that bed. She ran a hand over the cracking wood of the cot's frame. Splinters snagged at her finger fingertips. But I hate this cot even more. He dragged it in front of the fire every night and curled up there, huddling under the blankets. I always thought he looked so. So weak, like a cowering animal. It enraged me. And Cassian says, does it enrage you now? And she says, I thought him sleeping there was a fitting punishment while we got the bed. It never occurred to me that he wanted us to have the bed, to keep warm and be as comfortable as we could. That we'd only been able to take a few items of furniture from our former home and he'd chosen that bed as one the of of them for our comfort so we didn't have to sleep on cots or on the floor. She rubbed at her chest. I wouldn't even let him sleep in the bed when the debtors shattered his leg. I was so lost in my grief and rage and sorrow that I wanted him to feel a fraction of what I did. Her stomach churned. He squeezed her shoulder but said nothing. He had to have known that, she said hoarsely. He had to have known how awful I was. And yet he never yelled and that enraged me too. And then he named a ship after me. Sailed it into battle. I just. I don't understand why. And Cassian just says simply, you were his daughter.

[Kim]

Oh my gosh. This gives me goosebumps. It is.

[Anna]

It's so hard because. So we just had that whole conversation earlier. Less than a couple minutes ago.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And then you read this. And I want to be honest, when I read it this reread. I've never been that emotionally tied to this chapter. And I was actually had tears in my eyes reading this because I felt like. Was I. I could feel Nesta's vulnerability in that moment. Uncomfortability in saying these things out loud.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And I think that if you have a complicated relationship with a loved one, especially a parent, and then they die. I think that can bring up so much stuff. And I think Nesta looking into this room and seeing that bed and realizing that maybe this is what her father could offer them in his own way. And that it's like you have to meet people where they are sometimes. And in that moment it doesn't matter. You're still. And I'm not saying everything we said before still stands.

[Kim]

Absolutely.

[Anna]

But it's interesting that I think her way of moving past this is realizing this is what he could give me. And I just have to accept that. And for my own well being, let it go.

[Kim]

Yeah. Because he's gone.

[Anna]

He's gone.

[Kim]

And like that anger is only hurting Nesta. It's not hurting anybody else but Nesta.

[Anna]

Yes, exactly.

[Kim]

So she has to let it go.

[Anna]

She lashes out other people.

[Kim]

Right. She does hurt other people.

[Anna]

That's a great point. She has to heal. Heal that part of herself. So then she does. She can be kind.

[Kim]

Yeah. And I think ultimately it's. She has to let it go knowing that she's not going to get closure with her father.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Kim]

And that's probably really hard. And I would struggle with that as well.

[Anna]

Absolutely.

[Kim]

I'm not going to get to have this conversation of like, why weren't we enough? Why couldn't you do this for us? And who knows? Maybe what he would say wouldn't even be helpful. But it's that she didn't get the chance or the option or the choice to do it is that he died with all of this unresolved between them. And now she has to choose. Well, I'm not going to get that closure. And I still have to let it go.

[Anna]

And her foreclosure is going to the cottage and choosing to let it go.

[Kim]

Yes. Exactly.

[Anna]

She says when they're leaving, she says, I think I just needed to see this place one last time to know we got out, that there's nothing left here except dust and bad memories. Oh, really, really sad.

[Kim]

It is sad.

[Anna]

I'm not gonna lie. That place doesn't sound happy at all.

[Kim]

No, it sounds terrible, but it's really,

[Anna]

really sad to be looking at the place where you essentially aside. I mean, she was older, so it's not like her childhood home, but, like, it's this. It was a formative part of her life.

[Kim]

Yes, absolutely. Totally.

[Anna]

And that's going to leave a mark. And, like, just letting it go has got to be hard. It does, but healing, hopefully, you know?

[Kim]

Yeah. And I think so. And I think she. It was good for her to see, like, that they got out and that they're not here anymore and that they've moved forward and they're all somewhat happy. Happy to have varying degrees. It's a scale. It's a scale.

[Anna]

It's a scale.

[Kim]

Okay, let's move on to the ball. Oh, gosh, I cannot wait to talk about. I cannot wait. The. This was hilarious. So at the Winter Solstice gathering in the Court of Nightmares, Nesta is put on display beside Elain. While Feyre and Rhys play a very dangerous political game with Eris. Cassian is barely holding it together. He is furious that Nesta has been dragged into this and terrified that one wrong move could expose both their secret relationship and the truth about Nesta's power. Now Rhys and Feyre gift Eris a family heirloom that we know is actually the dagger Nesta made.

[Anna]

Yep.

[Kim]

And when they do that, the tension. Attention spikes in the group, but Nesta barely reacts. What does catch her attention, though, is, of course, the music. And Feyre volunteers Nest said to take her place on the dance floor with Eris because Feyre is pregnant and so therefore can't be. You'll see Nessa's about to get real athletic and Feyre's like, I can't be doing that.

[Anna]

I could never do that.

[Kim]

I could never do that. And I'm also very pregnant. So Nesta goes onto the dance floor with Eris. And the way Sarah writes this is. Is absolutely insane. I love it. She is, like, moving with such intensity and total control, and she commands the entire room. And Eris is like, people can't look away, look away. They're entranced by her. And Eris is caught off guard. And he's like, oh, my God, is

[Anna]

this goddess among us who is this

[Kim]

goddess, I must have her. And, you know, I will say it is really nice to see Nesta so confident and in her element, because we've seen her with the training. Obviously that did not come naturally for Nesta and. And I. I'm so proud of her. And she's come so far. But dancing is obviously something that she really excels at. Yeah. And obviously this is a very calculated move by Nesta and the inner circle, but she dominates this dance. She dominates this moment. I do just have to say, you guys, the way Sarah writes this is like, I actually don't even understand what's happening. Because it says she did 12 pirouettes and her feet actually levitate off the floor.

[Anna]

It's insane. At one point, they were like, she's about to undertake one of the highest, hardest spins in the dance. Nobody attempts it because you risk looking the fool. And then she does it so perfectly and effortlessly, and I'm just like, she's spinning in a circle so fast that

[Kim]

she levitt the taste. Like, guys, I dance.

[Anna]

I'm sorry. I know she's powerful.

[Kim]

She's powerful. But I danced for 10 years and I've never seen or heard anything like this in my life. We have this funny moment going over the outline where we were like, is this like Feyre and her art and, like, canon is actually that Feyre is not a great painter and Nessa's not that great of a dancer. But everyone's like, wow. Wow, Nesta. I'm gonna read this quote, guys. This is from Cassian. After seeing Nesta dance, this is what he says. Nesta's mother had wanted a prince for her. Cassian now thought she'd undervalued her daughter. Only a king or an emperor would do for someone with that level of skill. Guys, what are we saying? Because she's a good dancer, she deserves a king or an emperor.

[Anna]

Do you dance all day?

[Kim]

Is that all you do?

[Anna]

Is that all you do? What?

[Kim]

There's more to being a ruler.

[Anna]

She can only be with a kid. Her dancing is too good. I'm like, what did you. What do you expect her to like? Attitude. I don't understand the qualifications.

[Kim]

I understand what we're doing here. Like, what do you.

[Anna]

I'd like to see this application process, please. I have questions.

[Kim]

There's other skills that you have to have.

[Anna]

I.

[Kim]

It's just so funny the way Sarah writes this, where everyone is like, I've never seen such a thing in my life. And I'm like, yeah, she's a great dancer. But like, Eris is like, I must have her now.

[Anna]

Wait, do you know when she's okay? When she's spinning so fast she levitates?

[Kim]

Yes, of course.

[Anna]

We have kids. So, like, I've seen the Mary Poppins movie so much lately. There is a scene in Mary Poppins where Julie Andrews, Mary Poppins, they're doing a dance off. Essentially, right turn of the century dance off on top of the roofs with the chimney sweepers.

[Kim]

Oh, yes.

[Anna]

And she jumps up and she levitates. She spins so fast that she levitates. As I was reading this, I was like, she's Mary Poppins. It.

[Kim]

Do you think that's where Sarah got it from? I don't know. Does she take inspiration from Mary Poppins? All I can see is Mary Poppins

[Anna]

in her little red dress outfit.

[Kim]

Yes. And she's spinning on top of the rooftops.

[Anna]

That everyone's like, step in time.

[Kim]

Like, step in time. Step in time.

[Anna]

I was dying laughing.

[Kim]

Wow. And that's hysterical. And that's now fof canon. That Sarah Jubilee mask got inspiration from Mary Poppins for this.

[Anna]

It had to have been.

[Kim]

Maybe that's what it is.

[Anna]

Okay. So Nesta and Eris finish their dancing. Eris approaches Rhysand and Feyre and he makes an offer for Nesta's hand in marriage.

[Kim]

Guys. Immediately. Yeah, I know.

[Anna]

But what's most important from that little takeaway is that Cassian hears this. Because Rhysand speaks mind to mind. Lets everyone hear the conversation.

[Kim]

Sure.

[Anna]

And it just brings to the surface all of his insecurities about not being high Fae and feeling less than. And pin that for when we get to a mate. Check in later with Cassian. And I just have to say the fact just going off of what we

[Kim]

were just talking about, like the fact

[Anna]

that Eris was so moved by her dancing that he's like, I must have her to wed. I don't want this magical family heirloom that I sense great power if I'm. No, I want her.

[Kim]

Her. And literally he's like, I'll give you anything. To Rhysand and Feyre. I'm like, guys, what? What is happening? She's a good dancer.

[Anna]

Like, here's the thing. If it was like a sexually seductive dance, I could understand Eris being like, well, she's probably really great in bed.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

But no, this is like Bridgerton.

[Kim]

No, this is pirouettes. Yes. I don't get it. I need to understand what I'm not seeing. Yes. It sounds. Sounded fantastic. Don't get me wrong. Sounded very impressive. But the fact that everyone is, like, falling over themselves. And Cassie is like, she deserves an emperor. And Eris is like, I'll give you anything for her. I'm like, I'll give you anything. He's like, apart from my firstborn child, I'll try anything.

[Anna]

I was like, wow, We. Okay, I think we all need to learn the tactics of negotiation a bit more.

[Kim]

I think we're all showing our hand a little too much here. Like, we're all doing. We're too much. A little too much. This is too much.

[Anna]

Let's take a beat.

[Kim]

Wild.

[Anna]

Wild. Absolutely hilarious. Also, I just want to note that Feyre. So when they're discussing this whole, like, we need to woo Aeris, Feyre immediately is like, elaine can't do it. I don't want Elaine anywhere near him, is what she says. I don't trust him. But she's like, here's Nesta.

[Kim]

Here's my sister.

[Anna]

And then of course, everyone's like, well. And obviously Feyre can't do it because Feyre's pregnant.

[Kim]

Sure.

[Anna]

And I just. This coddling of Elaine is obviously, I think, going to come up when we get her book eventually.

[Kim]

Oh, yeah.

[Anna]

But I. I just wanted to bring that up because. Kim, take it away. There is this great scene that Kim's about to walk us through in the winter solstice.

[Kim]

Yes. So, okay. We are back at winter solstice, you guys. Wow. What a difference a year makes. We've come quite a long way since the last winter solstice at the townhouse, if we remember, in a court of frost and Starlight, Feyre essentially bribed Nesta to come to the Winter Solstice last year. And we know how that turned out. Not well. But this year it's different. Nesta is there because she wants to be there, and she's there with Cassian. And there are so many sweet moments to break down. Down. But let's kick it off with this kind of funny moment between Elain and Nesta. Elaine, I love this. Yes, Elain. Elain asked Nesta if Feyre paid her to be there this year. Okay, little potato.

[Anna]

She's growing claws. She's becoming interesting. That's right. Nesta said yes.

[Kim]

So Elain asked her this, and Nesta, without thinking, goes, oh, you. Nesta snapped and then choked. Elain blinked. Nesta blinked back, horror lurching through her. And then Elain burst out laughing. I mean, I love this. And Nesta's. She's horrified and she apologizes. But Elain actually sees it as A good sign. Like, her older sister is no longer coddling her because she can actually, like, speak her mind and not be worried about upsetting Elaine and hurting her feelings.

[Anna]

I actually loved this moment. And I think earlier, Nesta, in the book, we would have been like, oh, God damn it.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

But no, it works in this moment. And also, it's. Again, it's that sibling dynamic of I'm allowed to say things to you that nobody else is allowed to. To say.

[Kim]

Y.

[Anna]

You know, because we have been through the same shit for sure. And I love that she was just like, you, Elaine.

[Kim]

Oh, fuck you.

[Anna]

Elaine's like, wow, that was refreshing.

[Kim]

Yeah, you're not coddling me. Okay. I kind of like this. I love it. I love it. And then we have a really sweet moment between Azriel and Nesta. And this is really important because we have definitely sensed a kind of connection and a sense of ease between Nesta and Azriel. And I think it's also really important for Cassian to see that comfortability between the woman he loves and one of his best. Because we know it's not happening between Racy and Nesta. Nope.

[Anna]

Sure is not.

[Kim]

They're not there yet.

[Anna]

Nope.

[Kim]

But Asriel gives Nesta a reading light for her books. And Nesta is so shocked and touched. She stands up and throws her arms around Azrael and gives him a very, very heartfelt thank you. And it is so incredibly sweet.

[Anna]

I love it. I love.

[Kim]

I love this moment.

[Anna]

Everyone, like, freezes. Like, oh, God, what's she gonna do?

[Kim]

Is she gonna hurt him?

[Anna]

No, he just, like, throws his arms around him. And I love what you said about, like. I think it's important for Cassie to see one of his brothers.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

Also have this camaraderie with Nesta.

[Kim]

Because, of course you want your family to get along with the person that you love. I mean, everybody wants that.

[Anna]

And it's important for Nesta to feel accepted.

[Kim]

Yes. Because we know that so far she has not really felt accepted with. With the inner circle, specifically.

[Anna]

No. And that is one of the things that comes up in their big fight later, Right?

[Kim]

Yes. Oh, okay. But we have to talk about this very cryptic moment with Azriel and a. Please walk us through.

[Anna]

Okay. This was interesting to me. So Asriel standing in the doorframe, he won't come fully into the room. And Nesta walks up to him because, again, they have a little ease going between them. And she says she's talking about the holiday and, like, how holidays can be hard. And she was Trying to, I think, make Azriel feel comfortable. Because she thought he was uncomfortable being in the room full of people. And he says, talking about holidays, that they pull people together and bring them joy. They are a time to pause and reflect and gather. And those are never bad things, he says. And then it goes. His shadows darkened, his eyes full of enough pain that she couldn't stop herself from touching his shoulder, letting him see that she understood why he stood in the doorway, why he wouldn't go near the fire. His secret to tell, never hers. Okay, okay, I want you guys to listen to this quote from a previous page right before that happens with Nesta. This is where everyone is sitting in the room. Moore lounged on a green velvet couch before the fire place. Amren sat in Varian's lap on the matching couch opposite her. Feyre beside them, a hand on her belly. Rhys sprawled in an armchair. And then Lucien and Cassian are over in the corner on another armchair.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

The only person who is mentioned to be by the fire is Mor. Yep, Elain does eventually go sit in between Varian and Feyre, which is also by the fire. All it says is Elain, the wretch had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian at the. About as far from Lucien as she could get.

[Kim]

But it specifically says that Mor is the one lounging by the fireplace.

[Anna]

And I'm gonna be honest, I feel like we have a whole little section on Gwen Real and El Real at the end of this episode. So we're just gonna kind of hold our tongues for most of this here. But I just want to pin this because I think when we get to ACOTAR 6 theories, eventually we're gonna be talking about all of this. And I think Sarah is almost trying to throw everyone off the scent because. Is this about more?

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

Is more the red herring. And it's really about Elaine. But then we have all this stuff with Gwyn also that comes up in this book.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

Which we'll get to at the end of this episode. I just found it very interesting.

[Kim]

That is so interesting. And I had never noticed that before. And to me, I would think this is more.

[Anna]

It's what I thought, too.

[Kim]

I still don't think things are resolved between them, and I don't think they will until Mor talks to Azriel and tells her the truth.

[Anna]

Yes, but why does Nessa say his secret secret to tell? That makes me think it's about her sister and not More.

[Kim]

Oh, yeah, because everybody knows about more, right? Or do they?

[Anna]

Yeah, it's like the unspoken nobody talks about.

[Kim]

Sure. But yeah, the secret sounds like a lane.

[Anna]

I don't know. It's very interesting. I just feel like Sarah is purposely trying to be cryptic and be like, which way am I gonna go, guys?

[Kim]

Oh yeah, I totally agree, Anna.

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[Kim]

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[Anna]

All right, moving on. We wanted to do a little mate check in with Nesta and Cassian. Guys, this is one of our favorite parts in the book. We have come such a long way with the two of them. And it feels so intentional that on the same holiday where the year before Nesta was so brutal to Cassian and he literally chucked her gift into the river. Oh God, that was awful.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

We are back here now after a full year of growth, healing and doing the work. And this time, this is when they finally start to open up and they actually talk to each other about how. How they feel. Yeah. Granted, they do it in a classic Nesta and Cassian fashion.

[Kim]

Yeah. But you know, but you know, it

[Anna]

is what it is. So let's break this down.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Okay. So first of all, we get an apology from Nesta about her past behavior. Which is thrills me, guys.

[Kim]

You know, we love an apology.

[Anna]

You know, we love an apology.

[Kim]

And it's not that hard.

[Anna]

That hard. It's just that I'm sorry and there's no but.

[Kim]

That's right.

[Anna]

She just apologizes. I love it. Also, he gives her a gift.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And it's the Symphonia. And she's like, I don't have a gift for you. Like I wasn't prepared. I think, you know, she's still coming to terms. She's been through a lot. We can give her grace.

[Kim]

Absolutely.

[Anna]

But he gives her the Symphonia. And she's looking at it and it's this music box. And Cassian says he chased down the musicians who played at the ball that they were all at. And he had them play her favorite songs. And they. He had them throw in a few extra. Like he went through so much effort to give her this. And she is so overcome. And she is just honestly overwhelmed by it. And she feels unworthy, of course. And she's like, I can't accept this. You have to return it. I can't take it. And Cassian is not happy about that. That obviously hurts him.

[Kim]

Yeah, because he feels rejected.

[Anna]

Yeah, he feels rejected. And what he says is, I see, I get a little too close and you shove me away again, back to where it's safe. Better to marry a viper like Heiress than be with me. And she says, I am not with you. I am you. And then he goes, the only thing fit for a bastard born brute, right? And she says, I didn't say that. He says, you don't need to. You've said it a thousand times before. She says, then why did you bother to cut in at the ball?

[Kim]

I love this.

[Anna]

Oh, God, I love this from Cassie. And he goes, because I was fucking jealous. You looked like a queen. And it was painfully obvious that you should be with a princeling like Eris and not a lowborn nothing like me. Because I couldn't stand the sight of it right down to my goddamn bones. But go ahead, Nesta. Go ahead and fucking marry him. And good fucking luck. Oh, God. And then Nesta cuts it and she's like, eris is the brute. He is a brute and a piece of shit. And I would marry him because I am just like him.

[Kim]

God.

[Anna]

Okay. The words echoed through the room. His pained face gutted her. And she says, I deserve Eris. And then she continues and she says, you are good, Cassian. And you are brave and brilliant and kind. And I would kill anyone who has ever made you feel less than that. Less than what you are. And I know I'm a part of that group. And I hate.

[Kim]

Hate it.

[Anna]

And she continues. You are everything I have never been. And I will never be good enough for you. Your friends know it. And I carried it around with me all this time that I do not deserve you. And like the fury kind of falls from his face.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And she says, I didn't deserve you before the war or after it. And I certainly don't now. Why do you think I shoved you away? Why do you think I wouldn't speak to you? And she says, after my father died, after I failed in so many ways, denying myself you. It was. Is my punishment. Don't you understand that? She could barely see him through her tears. From the moment I met you, I wanted you more than reason mates. From the moment I saw you in my house, you were all I could think about and it terrified me. No one had ever held such power over me and I am still terrified that if I let myself have you, it will be taken away. Someone will take it away and if you're dead, it doesn't matter, she whispered. I do not deserve you and I never ever will.

[Kim]

Oh wow, this is so beautiful. And again, I think that my biggest takeaway here is how vulnerable she's being in front of him. And she would never have let herself say this even a few weeks before this.

[Anna]

I think it's just highlighting both of their insecurities. Cassian saying I'm a brute, of course, go marry princeling like Eris and Nested being like I deserve a bastard like Eris because I am a bastard.

[Kim]

I'm an yeah, I'm a piece of and so is he and I should

[Anna]

be with an, right. It's just really beautiful. I also really like the parallels here with Rhysand and Rhysand being so worried about his happiness being taken away at the end of Acawar, and Nesta saying like if I had you, I'm worried it would be taken from me.

[Kim]

Sure.

[Anna]

And also pin when she says your friends know it. Like they know how much of a piece of I am. Because again, next episode when they have their fight.

[Kim]

Yeah, it's rough. So let's move on into this conversation. We get this absolutely beautiful moment. Oh, Cassian. Cassian stood before her, tears streaming down his beautiful, perfect face. She didn't balk from it, letting him see her like this, her most raw, most base self. He'd always seen all of her anyway. He opened his mouth and tried to speak, had to swallow and try again. Nesta saw all the words in his eyes, though the same ones she knew lay in her own. So he stopped trying to speak and closed the distance between them, slid a hand into her hair, the other going around her waist and tugging her against him. He said nothing as he dipped his head, mouth brushing, the tears sliding along one of her cheeks, then the other. She closed her eyes, letting herself savor his lips on her over hot skin, the way his breath caressed her cheek. Each gentle kiss echoed those words she seen in his eyes. Cassian pulled back and remained that way long enough that she opened her eyes to find his face inches from her own. You're not going to marry Eris, he said roughly. No, she breathed. And then he says there will be no one else for either of us. Yes, she whispered. Ever, he promised. Nesta laid a hand on his muscled chest, letting the thunderous beating of the heart echo in her palm. Ever, she swore. It was all he needed. All she needed. Cassian's mouth met hers and the world ceased to exist. The kiss was punishing and exalting. Thoroughed and frenzy. Acclaiming and a yielding. She had no words for it.

[Anna]

Guys.

[Kim]

Finally. Finally. Oh my God.

[Anna]

I'm yours. Forever. Yes, forever. Let's go.

[Kim]

Ever. Amen. We're mates. I love it.

[Anna]

Oh my God.

[Kim]

Oh God, it's so beautiful. And then they have mating bond sex, guys. Specifically this line. Golden threads between their very souls. I mean, mates, mates, mates, mates, mates. It's so them. Like you said, you know, we can't have this. Like, yeah, tender. Just very like soft and gentle. He's like, there's gonna be nobody else. Like, say it. You promise. And she's like, yes.

[Anna]

It's not chapter 54 with Rhysand and Feyre. And it's so sweet. And we get that beautiful monologue. It's the lord of bloodshed. It's, you know, our Illyrian warrior coming in. And they love that fight. They love, you know, it turns them on.

[Kim]

Oh, they love it.

[Anna]

And then it's like, you're mine, I'm yours. Oh God, we're mates. Well, they don't say that. But not yet, right?

[Kim]

Not yet. But I love it so much. I love everything about this. They have obviously very hot, explosive sex because it's them. And that's what they do. I also just totally forgot that Cassian like jumps out of bed the morning after and he's like, oh my God. Shit, I gotta go. He's like, I gotta go to my snowball fight. I just.

[Anna]

Nesta's like naked in bed. He's like. He's stumbling, putting. He's like, get. Shit. They're gonna beat me there. They're gonna. It's like I'm imagining him being like. They've already started making the snowballs. I'm gonna be behind on the snowball making. And then like, Nesta's like, I am so sorry. We. I. Hold on. We had last night, right? And now you are leaving me to go throw snowballs at. You are grown ass 500 year old men.

[Kim]

That's correct.

[Anna]

And he's like, yeah, but then like we get into a sauna, meet together after.

[Kim]

He's like, so think about that. And she's like, oh, I will, I will. We all will. I love this. It's such a fun moment of like levity after like such a very intense scene between the two of them. And Again, we're suckers for, like a bat boy brotherly love moment.

[Anna]

Love it. We love it so much. All right, so Cassie and Essa have their beautiful, explosive night of passion. It's like their version of the winter cabin, like we said.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Minus a lot of the paint, which I love. Absolutely. That's totally fine with us.

[Kim]

I prefer that, actually.

[Anna]

But Cassian does disappear for a few days, which we know is because of the mating bond clicking into place. And he was trying not to act like a crazy alpha hole and freak Nesta out. So he stays away. But Nesta doesn't know that yet. But during his absence, this is when Nesta has Gwen and Emery over for their sleepover. Which we've already discussed in a previous episode.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And also the ribbon cutting gets introduced. Yay, guys. I love this.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

So cute. Gwyn explains that this is the final test in becoming a Valkyrie. So they've been trying and failing for weeks to do it. Cassian's back now at this point, and it's Gwyn's turn again to try and cut the ribbon. Gwyn whispered, I am the rock against which the surf crashes. Nesta straightened at those words, as if they were a prayer and a summons. Gwyn lifted the blade. Nothing can break me. Cassian's throat tightened. And even from across the ring, he could see Nesta's eyes gleaming with pride and pain. Emery said, nothing can break us.

[Kim]

Oh.

[Anna]

The world seemed to pause at the words. As if it had been following one path and now branched off in another direction. In a hundred years, a thousand, this moment would still be etched in his mind. That he would tell his children, his grandchildren, right then and there. That was when it all changed.

[Kim]

Wow.

[Anna]

I love it. It's that shift. They are becoming a unit.

[Kim]

That's right. This, to me, seems like, is this gonna come up somehow in ACOTAR 6? Like, the world seemed to pause at the words.

[Anna]

I feel like because of Valkyrie have died out. That the world, the cauldron, the mother, whatever. Pausing and being like, oh, we have a new race of warriors as well. They weren't a race, but you know what I mean? They were a group of people.

[Kim]

Right? They were a group. Yeah.

[Anna]

And we're back. Something new is happening here. And this is big.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And so anyways, she does cut the ribbon, and she's the first to successfully do so. And Nesta goes to where the ribbon fell on the floor. And it says, Nesta bent down, picked up the fallen half of the ribbon and solemnly tied it around Gwen's brow, a makeshift version of what the priestesses wore atop their heads with their stones. But Cassian had never seen Gwen display her invoking stone. Gwyn lifted trembling fingers to her brow, touching the ribbon with which Nesta had crowned her. Nesta voice was thick as she declared, Valkyrie.

[Kim]

Oh, my God, I could not love this.

[Anna]

Love it so much.

[Kim]

I just love it. It's so beautiful, the pride and the joy on Nesta and Emerie's face. Like, they are genuinely so happy for Gwen. And it's such an incredible moment for the three of them. It's so beautiful.

[Anna]

Just a beautiful, like, full circle. Found family. Nesta, Emory and Gwen had to do it together. Together. And it was so important for them. There's no jealousy. There's no one is thinking I'm not worthy or anything like that.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

Like Cassian says, there's genuine pride on Nesta's face.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

Beautiful.

[Kim]

It is so incredibly beautiful. I love it. So final thing that we want to note here about their training is that Emory and Nesta do eventually also cut the ribbon. But Cassian and Azriel have also been setting up obstacle courses for the women to train on. And they have to learn to work as a team, a unit. And after lots of trial and error, the three of them do eventually complete one of the obstacle courses. And what they don't realize and what Cassian only tells them after they've completed the course is that it was actually one of the courses used for the Illyrians to qualify to participate in the blood rite.

[Anna]

Yep. Sneaky.

[Kim]

Sneaky. Yes. Sneaky Cassian. And he even invited Devlin to observe, mostly to prove to Devlin that females are just as strong and capable as male lyrians. But I think also to have some kind of like a. See, they can do it. They can. Can qualify for the blood, Right?

[Anna]

Yes.

[Kim]

Which we will get into next week.

[Anna]

Okay, so, listeners, we want to leave you with this. We promised we would touch upon Gwen Real and El a little bit.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

So I obviously think this will not surprise any of our longtime listeners that we are firmly on Team Gwenreal.

[Kim]

That's right.

[Anna]

But don't tune us out if you disagree, because we have no hate.

[Kim]

No.

[Anna]

For the L shippers. And there is definitely a case for Elain and Azriel. It's just not our personal preference. But, hey, we can all disagree. We can all agree to disagree and still be friends. I do just want to note a few things here. We have SJM mini episodes on our Patreon right now where we break down and discuss everything that happens in Azriel's bonus chapter, as well as a cauldron chat with Christina entitled A Case for Gwen Real.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Anna]

Between those two episodes, we really break down all of the receipts for lreal and gwenreal. Some of them are a little biased, but in our Asriel bonus chapter, we break down L Real a little bit more.

[Kim]

Right.

[Anna]

Obviously, whenever Sarah decides to grace us with ACOTAR 6, whenever that is, whenever we get an official release date, bet your bottom dollar. I promise we will have so many ACOTAR 6 theories, episodes, and prediction episodes. Those are our favorite to record. And I have a feeling that this subject of who Asriel ends up with is going to be a main topic of conversation. Goes without saying.

[Kim]

Absolutely.

[Anna]

But this is Nesta and Cassian's story, guys. It's not Asriel's story. And that's why we're not taking as much time to focus on on them here. But you can go listen to our episodes on Patreon. They are really fun.

[Kim]

Yes, they are. They're really, really, really good. And as Anna said, we are going to be doing so much ACOTAR 6 theories and predictions and deep dives when we get that. We just don't know when Sarah's going to grace us with that yet, so.

[Anna]

Nope. Nope. And we want to save it so that we can, like, relish the moment and live in it when she does bring it to us.

[Kim]

Absolutely.

[Anna]

So, listeners, that is where we're going to leave you today. We will be back back next week with our final A episode. Oh, my gosh. It will wrap up our entire Acotar Revisited journey. Oh, we're going to talk about the blood, right? And the crazy ending. Plus, of course, our Mastermind section.

[Kim]

Guys, you do not want to miss this Mastermind section. This has, like, some of my favorite Mastermind Theory Easter eggs that we've ever done.

[Anna]

I'm so excited.

[Kim]

It's going to be so great and also so bittersweet. I can't believe it's over. This has been, like, almost a year. Year.

[Anna]

Oy, that's so true. Yeah, it's been a year. And I think it's extra emotional because it was our first episode we ever recorded as a podcast and we're closing it out. It's also kind of coming out right around our anniversary of when we released our episode, like, end of February. This is coming out in March, but, like, right. It's close enough. So it's just been a really fun journey. So we will save the sorrow. Yes, the weepy, bittersweet conversation for that next episode. Okay, bye listeners. Cheers and happy reading.

[Kim]

Well friends, that wraps up another episode of Flights of Fantasy Podcast. Don't forget to join our book club community on Instagram and TikTok at flights of Fantasy Podcast where you can share your thoughts, theories and favorite moments with us and fellow listeners. We'd love to hear from you. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform. Your support helps us spread the magic of romantasy to even more book lovers. Until next time. Next time, keep dreaming, keep reading and remember, every good story deserves to take flight.

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