Chelsea Handler

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade: Episode Featuring Chelsea Handler Release Date: March 26, 2025

Introduction In this engaging episode of "Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade," the duo welcomes comedian and talk show host Chelsea Handler as their guest. Hosted by Audacy, the show delves deep into Chelsea's career, insights into the evolution of female stand-up comedy, her personal life, and her latest projects. The conversation is peppered with humor, candid reflections, and notable anecdotes, offering listeners a comprehensive look behind the scenes of Chelsea Handler's journey in the entertainment industry.

Chelsea Handler's Career and Influence Chelsea Handler is celebrated as a trailblazer in the realm of late-night television and stand-up comedy. Dana Carvey underscores her pioneering role, stating, "...she started potentially she started this sort of genre... I'm gonna call her a trailblazer" ([02:31]). Chelsea's show, Chelsea Lately, is highlighted for its innovative format featuring emerging comedians, many of whom have gone on to achieve significant fame.

David Spade adds, "... she does a lot of things, but she sells out some big venues... she's pretty easy about answering anything" ([02:55]). This openness has not only endeared her to audiences but also allowed her to explore and influence various facets of comedy and entertainment.

Evolution of Female Stand-Up Comedy A substantial portion of the discussion revolves around the progression of female stand-up comedians. Chelsea reflects on Joan Rivers' impact, noting, "... Joan Rivers paved the way for all of us" ([09:31]). She elaborates on the challenges women faced in comedy, such as the necessity to adopt characters like maids or housekeepers before women could authentically present themselves on stage.

Dana Carvey observes, "... elemento like something was happening real time... it just ping pong, which made it really pop" ([17:25]), emphasizing the authenticity that modern female comedians bring to their performances, contrasting it with the more scripted formats of the past.

Chelsea's Specials and New Projects Chelsea shares insights into her upcoming projects, including her book "I'll Have What She's Having" and her Netflix special "The Feeling." Dana inquires about the creative process behind these projects, to which Chelsea responds, "... I'm at a point where I've done this for so long. I'm very capable and confident in what I'm doing" ([21:03]). This confidence stems from years of experience and a clear understanding of her creative vision.

She also mentions, "... 'The Feeling' is actually a reference to something I did as a child..." ([21:03]), indicating a personal and nostalgic approach to her latest special, aiming to bridge her past experiences with her present stand-up persona.

Performing in Intimate vs. Arena Settings The conversation shifts to the challenges and nuances of performing in different venues. Chelsea discusses the intimacy of smaller venues versus the grandeur of arenas, stating, "... there's a level of intimacy... you don't have to get married though. Marriage" ([42:26]). Dana adds humor by comparing the dynamics of large audiences to more controlled environments, highlighting the difficulty in maintaining authenticity in sprawling arenas.

Writing Process and Honesty in Comedy Chelsea delves into her writing methodology, emphasizing honesty as a cornerstone of her work. She explains, "... I do it all by myself, and I just start writing... honesty is a commodity. There's a lack of it" ([32:24]). Dana and David commend her for maintaining authenticity, with Dana remarking, "... honesty is a commodity..." ([33:58]).

Chelsea also touches upon the ethical considerations of writing about non-public figures, stating, "... I have to shroud her identity..." ([35:48]). This balance between honesty and respect underscores the integrity she brings to her storytelling.

Personal Life and Relationships The trio ventures into personal territories, discussing Chelsea's dating life and her "mountain man" boyfriend. Chelsea humorously shares, "... I have a mountain lover... in my mountain house in Whistler, Canada..." ([41:03]). Dana and David engage in playful banter about Chelsea's relationships, adding a lighthearted touch to the conversation.

Chelsea candidly discusses her stance on marriage, asserting, "... I never wanted to be married. I just find that idea..." ([42:43]). This perspective aligns with her portrayal of independence and self-sufficiency, traits that have defined much of her public persona.

Playful Banter and Chemistry among Hosts and Guest The chemistry between Dana, David, and Chelsea is palpable throughout the episode. Their interactions are marked by quick-witted humor and mutual respect. At one point, Dana quips, "... let's get her going..." as they segue into deeper discussions ([04:11]).

Chelsea's playful comments, such as "... I'm a mountain man that I have sex with in my mountain house..." ([41:03]), coupled with Dana and David's humorous responses, create a lively and entertaining atmosphere that keeps listeners engaged.

Notable Quotes

• Dana Carvey on Chelsea's role: "She started potentially she started this sort of genre... I'm gonna call her a trailblazer" ([02:31]).
• Chelsea on Joan Rivers' impact: "Joan Rivers paved the way for all of us" ([09:31]).
• Chelsea on her writing process: "I do it all by myself, and I just start writing... honesty is a commodity. There's a lack of it" ([32:24]).
• Chelsea on her relationships: "I have a mountain lover in my mountain house in Whistler, Canada..." ([41:03]).
• Chelsea on marriage: "I never wanted to be married. I just find that idea..." ([42:43]).

Conclusion This episode provides a rich and insightful exploration of Chelsea Handler's career, her influence on female stand-up comedy, and her personal philosophies. Dana Carvey and David Spade expertly navigate the conversation, balancing humor with genuine interest, making it an engaging listen for both fans and newcomers alike. The candid discussions, combined with memorable quotes and anecdotes, offer a comprehensive understanding of Chelsea Handler's enduring impact on the entertainment landscape.

Transcript

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[Dana Carvey]

The one of a kind. Chelsea Handler.

[David Spade]

Chelsea Handler, friend of the show. I've known him for a while. I used to see her out. Been to her house. We had a friend's night over there once. She's very, well, I would say quite wealthy. Yeah, I think that's a safe.

[Dana Carvey]

I would say so she started potentially she started this sort of genre. Chelsea lately on E. Her with like five comedians that are not especially famous at that moment. And they do become famous from the show. And she leads it so that she's kind of a. I'm gonna call her a trailblazer.

[David Spade]

Whoa. Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

She's a pistol. She says what's on her mind. She doesn't hold back.

[David Spade]

Very true. She's traveling comedian also. She does a lot of things, but she sells out some big venues. And when she goes on the road, I think I saw it Caesar's palace years back and does a good job. Also, as a book out, I'll have what she's having. She also has a special out.

[Dana Carvey]

The Feeling.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Oh, also, I gave her an idea for her next special, a title we talk about how to name specials. We talk about her dating life. She's pretty easy about answering anything.

[Dana Carvey]

She's. She is, oh, so single. Doesn't want to get married, but she does. We will talk about a. Her current boyfriend, who she described as a mountain man who lives in the mountains, and she goes and visits her mountain man.

[David Spade]

Right.

[Dana Carvey]

That was an interesting Possible boyfriend.

[David Spade]

I'm not sure how she.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

Describes it, but a guy she does hang out with. And this is a world of people. Hang out with people.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And this is what we're talking to hear us hanging out with Chelsea.

[David Spade]

And we're not that way, but, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Our overtop rate was pretty decent. 3.4 per 10 seconds of chatter per milliliter.

[David Spade]

Yeah, we did pretty good on that. And I think you'll enjoy it. Let's get her going.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, my God. Penises. Hi, my two penis face buddies.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know.

[David Spade]

I saw Chelsea recently, Dana, at a little backyard get together. Remember I came over here on the couch. I said, hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was it a Ted's house?

[David Spade]

It was at Gervitz's, our manager.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. That was a really fun party. Apparently, I left that party too early. I heard it went all night long and that you got on stage and sang.

[David Spade]

No, you know what? That was the idea. There was. It was going to be people would sing. But by the way, I got there at 7 because everyone was a little older. So I got there at 7 going, oh, no, no one's going to be there yet. And then people are leaving. I go, wait, guys, this is. I'm the old guy, but I wasn't the oldest guy there for once. And. And then Dana, I don't think he went to that one. But after about nine, it was kind of slowing down. And then I goes, are they gonna sing? And they're like, no, they did A birthday cake. And then they go. And then his daughter sang. Remember that, Chelsea?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Lovely song. And then I said, I guess that's it. And they go, no, Eddie's not going to sing. And I go, oh, I thought we're going to all going to sing. Okay. So I leave. And then about two hours later. Yeah. Sandler's like, you're up. And I'm like, I'm up. I'm in bed. I don't. Are we doing this?

[Chelsea Handler]

And did you go back?

[David Spade]

No, he's too far away. It was an hour, right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly. There was a lull in that party after about two hours, and that's when a group of people left. I didn't know that we were supposed to stay and things were going to. You know, there was going to be an act, too. So I also. I was. We may as well have left together. David. David, like, we've done so many nights.

[David Spade]

Of our lives so many times, and I liked it because the party was fun, but it felt like a long party, and it felt like there's a cake and we weren't really bailing out. It was just like. I thought they were trying to say scoot, you know, because it's probably 30 people left.

[Chelsea Handler]

Also, I feel like gesundheit. If that was a sneeze. Dana, I. I also feel like. I feel like L. A is so lame. You know what I mean? Like, no one is out at till nine. I mean, that's what time everyone goes to bed. Every party ends earlier. It's just there's. It's almost like it's so hard to even go out because the scene is kind of just so subdued. So many people are sober.

[David Spade]

It's.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's just not what it used to be. I'm going to just throw that out there.

[David Spade]

Throw that out there to talk about.

[Dana Carvey]

Explain to me as a fellow human being why anybody in their right mind would go to a Hollywood party.

[David Spade]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

Isn't it the most hideous? I mean, I. I give me. I like four people at your house for dinner. I'm not going to book it. That would be nice. 51 conversations happening. But the small talk derby. What's up with Chelsea? What's going on? Oh, yeah, you know. God, I don't know how you guys deal with it.

[David Spade]

Well, when it's hours of that and you keep walking to the same people all night, you don't know what to say the eighth time you see them. And.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, and it's also, like, you have to question why you're at Parties. Like, what. What's your motivation? Why are you. Why am I here? Like, am I promoting anything? Like, am I. Why am I going to an Oscar party? I'm not nominated for an Oscar. Why am I at the party? Like, I always. I'm like, no, it's. You know, you got to show up once in a while to, like, refresh people's memories. But I find LA to be. If I wish I want to. I want to have that place in New York. That's going to be my. My goal. I think that's a little bit. It's too unhealthy. Like, I'm becoming almost elderly in this lifestyle. Whenever I'm here, which isn't frequently, I come back home and like, last night I was supposed to go over for friends for dinner, which. The kind of event you're describing or dinner, you're describing Dana, which is. Actually sounded really nice, but even getting in my car. And I am in a compromised situation because I just had some surgery, so it's not fun. I can't drink. I can't really do anything. But I was going to get in my car and go over there and I was like, I don't think so. I don't think I would rather just sit here and watch mindless television and sleep as much as I can. I think I overheard one of you lesbians saying that you slept for 11 hours last night.

[Dana Carvey]

I did, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Wow. Wow. Did you masturbate to get yourself to sleep?

[Dana Carvey]

No, but I. I woke up and I had completed the task and it was like, what the. Was I dreaming?

[David Spade]

Yeah, you can do it in your sleep.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. So who started that? What I meant was the movement from. In the standup world with women, females, whatever you prefer. And it seems to me that Joan Rivers made a turn where she really was more incendiary than the 60s Joan. And then there's this continuum of female standups just saying what they want. And I put you in that, you know, you're like the leader kind of, in a way. There's younger ones coming. I don't know. I mean, when did stand up term for women where squirting jokes and stuff like that could come out, you know, who.

[David Spade]

Who just anything goes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I don't know. I think it's like a rush of. It's like a wave, if you will, no pun intended, of a wave of squirters. Talking about squirting and women, you know, the more. Listen, we're all talking about the same stuff. When you break down standup comedy you're talking about your personal life, your relationships, your relationship to drugs and alcohol. You know, it's all the same pitter patter of idea ideas, and it's just like, how does your execution vary? So I guess if you. It's, you know, the more women that are up talking about this, the more accepted it becomes by nature. And there are more female comics than there have ever been. But I don't know when it started. I mean, Joan certainly paved the way for all of us. I can say that I didn't really realize that until she was dead. You know, like, I was like, no, I paved the way for myself. I had an arrogance about my own success. Like, Joan Rivers wasn't somebody I had looked up to. And then, you know, when I did my homework and grew up a little bit, I realized how, how what she went through. And like, you know, going to the comedy clubs, like, women didn't even get on stage without being like, you know, they would get on stage as characters like housekeepers or, you know, maids or. Or like, you know, just like Dell.

[Dana Carvey]

Or was kind of a character.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, right. And Joan was like being herself and dressing up and going to these gross comedy clubs. I mean, we all know how gross comedy clubs are. They are. That's where all disease begins. And I, for the disease in my shoulder probably be. And it's just. It's just presenting now. But yeah, she was a trailblazer, of course, which is an annoying word for some reason. I find that annoying. I don't like when people call me a trailblazer either, because I'm not out there with, you know, blazing trails. But I. I think that it's just good to see women succeed. It's good to see women being taken seriously. And it's like the idea that women aren't funny is just so dumb. And I know both of you know that, but, like, you know, for so many men out there who really think that, man, that comedy is just a men's game, it's been so insulting for so long that you just kind of turn off that noise. Like, you know, when I was doing, for instance, my first talk show, Chelsea lately, I didn't pay attention to any of that because it didn't. I didn't go home at night thinking, what was it like to be the only woman in late night? Those were just comparisons that everybody else made. And I feel like if you spend too much time thinking about that aspect of it, you're. It's taking away from your creative outlet. Anyway, you know what I Mean, you should be creating. You should be doing your thing and not looking around to see what your. Your competition is doing. Because I certainly didn't look at David Letterman and think I was in competition with him. You know what I mean? I wasn't. I was on the E. Network, you know, So I. That's what I think I have to say about that.

[David Spade]

Making. Making a buzz on the E. Network. Even though he's making. He's on network. But E. You're helping E. Get Wider and more looked at, which is interesting. Also, when I go to the Comedy Store, every. You don't even blink. Every other comic is female. I mean, everywhere you go, it's not even like, oh, you're not one of the comedians. You know how it used to be, you'd be like, wait, there's a female comic on the show tonight. It would be like Rita Rudner or something. When I, you know, Paula Poundstone. And right now there's so many. So it's great. I mean, listen, it's all. If you got some game. And there's. They don't mention there's also bad male comedians. So it's not like, oh, yeah, lots of them guy ones are good and the females are bad. It's like, if you're good, you're good. And so you see a nice mix. I've seen some on Instagram that are funny just pop in my feed.

[Dana Carvey]

So, you know, I. When I was growing up, yeah, it was like the female comedian was referred to as. They're saying they wouldn't say David Letterman, the guy. And that was more prevalent, this woman comedian and woman woman. I see less of that more than just comedian. And one thing's kind of cool about you is you produced the show for Whitney, right? I mean, you do a lot of producing of things and for other people.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I did at that time. Well, yeah, Whitney's show didn't really last too long, but we tried, and then we produced a show for Ross Matthews. He wasn't really a production powerhouse at the time. I was there. So it was really hard to get. We did after. Lately, David, you were on that show with us, which was like a satire of Chelsea lately, where I was just like a really exaggerated version of, you know, the country that I am. But we. We did. We did so much like, what was I. What was I. Where was I going with this? We did so much. Oh, yeah. It was really hard to get anything done at E. With them being behind anything. Like, they were trying to assuage me because we Had a hit show. So they'd be like, oh, you want to produce this? Great, Go ahead. And then they'd be like, oh, it's not getting the numbers or whatever. But, you know, it was hard to get anything going on, E. I mean, the Kardashians in my show were like, you know, and, I don't know, Saving Sunset or whatever. It's selling Sunset. Saving Sunset.

[David Spade]

I think that was later. You were really. You paved the way for Shitty Flip.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes. Yeah, he really took a hit after I laughed. Kardashians laughed, like. And actually, I know this is probably coming out later, but I'm about to host the Critics Choice Awards, which brings me back to Eid this next Friday night, which is a full circle. I'm going back to my birthplace.

[Dana Carvey]

I love that show. When I first saw that show with you and the comedian stuff, it was one of the first, like, lo fi shows because cable was still coming up and stuff. And so there are shows that do that now, but, you know, usually it was the band and the Bump, you know, so it was very cool how lo fi it was. And casual. Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it was very casual.

[David Spade]

If you're just funny, you don't need much. You need a camera. And then you got. And then people like, oh, you don't need all this other noise. Because some of those shows, there's only just this much comedy and there's little pieces, but those are harder, what you're doing, because it's just like, turn the cameras on. Let's just talk, and we'll find things to talk about. And. And it just blew up. And that's why I agree, when you left, it was a big hit on there.

[Chelsea Handler]

But also, you know, like, it was so much fun because you guys are from snl, so, you know, about, like, ensemble. But what was so much fun about that show was that the cat, the casualness of it, allowed us to, like, just book my friends on the roundtable, you know, so many comics that I didn't even know that I discovered on my own show, whose careers have blown up, like, you know, Fortune Feamster or Jo Koy. Like, Kevin Hart used to be on the roundtable, like, all these people. So that. And it was so unique in the fact that, like, at the time, anyway, because everyone's ripped off that show now, too. I mean, David, you've even ripped it off. But, like, you. And I don't believe ideas can be ripped off, so I don't care anyway. But, like, putting comics together when, you know, you become a comedian, Essentially, to stand on a stage with a microphone alone, like, it's the most probably narcissistic you can be. And so to put. To have comics, to have four comedians on a roundtable at the same time, sharing space and actually having to listen to each other and riff off of each other was a joy and also kind of unexpected because you don't see comedians interacting that much.

[Dana Carvey]

No. Carson would in the early days, he'd have people stay out there. So you might see Bob Hope and Don Rickles get in a fight or something, you know, but that went away, and it was one guest, one out, and then highly, highly organized with an outline of what you're supposed to get to in the commercial breaks. And so since your thing was. I hate this. One of my least favorite words was this authentic that when the comedians were riffing, you knew it was happening real time. There wasn't a rehearsal. It's not a setup. It's just ping pong, which made it really pop. So I see why it went on.

[David Spade]

You can also do. When I was doing David lately, which was not a ripoff. When I was doing Davey Lately, they. The part of the fun hosting is kind of hard, but if you're dishing off, you're not doing all the lifting anymore. So you give someone a subject, and now you're just tagging what they say on their jokes. And then someone else jumps in. Now you're like, oh, these. If you get good people in there that can just like that. And then people just like to see, like, they're at dinner. Just. You're just bullshitting, basically.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And that's what, you know, you hang out with comics all the time. Like, the best things that happen are never being filmed. So you're like, oh, wouldn't it be great if we could film these conversations? Which is essentially what that show became.

[Dana Carvey]

Right. The green room, basically, you know.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, right.

[Dana Carvey]

Bring it out front. So what I guess we should mention before we get going away is you have a. You have a book, right, coming out?

[Chelsea Handler]

I have a book. A book is called I'll have what She's Having. That comes out February 25th on my 50th birthday. And then my special is called the Feeling, and that comes out on Netflix on March 25, which is a month after my birthday. So I don't know when this airs, but you can just piece it together however you'd like.

[Dana Carvey]

All right.

[David Spade]

Well, yeah. So the Feeling is Netflix, so which, because I remember, I came to see. Is it possible I came to see you At Caesar's palace once. Years and years and years ago. Did you ever play Caesar?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I do. I actually, yes. I used to play Caesar's Palace. Now I do a residency at Vegas, where I perform once a month, which is how much time I'm willing to spend in Vegas. I perform once a month at the Cosmopolitan at the Chelsea Theater. So I perform inside myself. But I was at Caesars many years ago.

[David Spade]

Years and years, because I think it was during maybe your show. And I think Brad Wallach, those guys were there. I think. I think. I think.

[Dana Carvey]

How many specials have you done? Which one is this?

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't know. Actually, four. Four or five. Four or five.

[Dana Carvey]

Probably five. How did this one feel? Because I think it's very hard. I did a couple. They sucked because I just. I. When you know, you have one, there was a technical issue and you have one shot, and you've kind of worked on this stuff in little clubs, and now you're in a barn with 1400 seats and three balconies. So how did this one feel like your experience of the other ones? What you want to land is like a feeling basically of how you're authentically your best self on stage. Right. Not shooting a special.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, you're. Well, no, I think you do treat it like you're shooting a special, but you're supposed to not. You're supposed to shoot two in a. In a row. David. Dana. Sorry, David.

[David Spade]

I would need a nap.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm too. I'm too weak and old to do too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I mean, I guess so, because that's how you don't screw it up. If you don't get what you want in the first set, then you know to get it in the second set. So somebody should have definitely told you that.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it's all.

[David Spade]

It's all you can do. Two shows in two nights. More expensive. But you can do.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, right. Of course you can do that.

[Dana Carvey]

Then topic wise or material wise? Is there. Is there something that is a little surprising for your fans? It's just me asking off the top of my head, like, are you stretching the envelope further in terms of honesty? Because it's sort of your brand of.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, oh, I'm always honest. I'm always, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

Are you even more honest?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, yeah. I mean, these are some personal stories. I have some. I have a really great Andrew Cuomo story in this special. A personal Andrew Cuomo story because I was trying to get penetrated by him during the pandemic for that training that.

[Dana Carvey]

You were going to try to fuck.

[David Spade]

Andrew Cuomo, I remember it was going to be a live stream.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know I wanted to also livestream it and I wanted to do it for my country because he just felt so, like we had leadership at a time where we were so dehydrated for it. But I have a really good story in there about that. I have a great George W. Bush story going to Kenny Bunkport compound, like on 40 milligrams of THC and having to interact with the president on a pickleball court, the former president. So there's a little, there's a lot of sharing. The feeling is actually a reference to something I did as a child to like at the jungle gym at school to get a certain feeling around my Pikachu area that a lot of nine year old girls did. And so that's a reference to that. I take you from my youth and to my adulthood and kind of telegraph the fact that I've always been this way. But yes, the special felt great. You know, I'm at a point where I've done this for so long. I'm very capable and confident in what I'm doing. I don't have, I don't, I'm not worried, you know, about it. I'm like, you get to a certain point, I think in your career as I hopefully the two of you can also attest, you know what you're, you got, you're still here because you got yourself this far. So like, you know what you're doing. You don't have to be in your head about it anymore. At a certain point you realize that's just such a wasted energy and that you're successful because of you. So just keep doing you.

[David Spade]

Omaha, Omaha. Dana. That's what Peyton Manning used to yell out. Oh yeah, Omaha Steaks. Did he yell steaks too? I don't know. Maybe.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. Omaha Steaks. You know, David, you may not know this delivers the world's best steak experience brings people together. More than a hundred years of family owned expertise as, get this, America's original butcher.

[David Spade]

Yeah, listen, everyone's heard of Omaha Steaks. Yeah, they got their legendary filet mignons. They're extra aged to maximize tenderness. I like a good tender filet. I don't.

[Dana Carvey]

I.

[David Spade]

Sometimes I get these and they're just rough. But these guys take pride in this.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm going to go out on a limb and just say when you get a steak, you want a high quality steak. Now you could get an inexpensive baloney sandwich or something, but with a steak you want it to be high quality. And now during their semi annual sale. Do you know what that means? And you get.

[David Spade]

Yeah, you get 50% off site wide at Omaha steaks.com plus our listeners get an extra on top of that. $30 off with promo code, fly at the checkout.

[Dana Carvey]

I like that. This sale only happens twice a year, so don't miss out on your chance to save on handcrafted steaks, beefy burgers. I'm getting hungry. Premium chicken, and so much more.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah. They can almost say biannual. Doesn't that mean twice? Am I crazy?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, biannual. There's lots of ways. We'll get into that next time we talk.

[David Spade]

This is heartland quality food delivered right to your door. That's the convenience. It's winter. You might want to throw some on the grill on the barbie. So listen. Exceptional handcrafted flavor, convenience. All the things you want to hear. Unrivaled quality, variety. Everybody's back by their 100% guarantee. And every steak is perfectly aged to maximize tenderness. That's what I'm looking for. Hand cut by master butchers. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Omaha Steaks, America's original butcher since 1917. These people know what they're doing.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Don't miss the semiannual sale at Omaha Steaks. Visit omastakes.com for 50% off site wide and an extra 30 off. Use promo code FLY at checkout.

[Dana Carvey]

That's 50% [e-mail] and an extra $30 off with promo code fly at checkout. They say money can't buy you happiness, David, and that might be true, but money can sure make you feel a lot of other things, like stress, guilty, overwhelmed. That's because when you're not in control of your money, your money can control you.

[David Spade]

I said that's right. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools that make it easy to start saving and investing in your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you have is spare change.

[Dana Carvey]

That's the good thing. You don't need a ton of time. You can create your own Acorns account. Start investing in five minutes. You just don't need to feel like this feeling of, like, what do I do with my money. You know financial wellness is impossible.

[David Spade]

Well, you don't feel like that. Acorns does the hard part so you can give your money a chance to grow.

[Dana Carvey]

Couldn't agree more.

[David Spade]

Okay, ready to take control your money. Sign up now and join over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over 25 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com fly or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation includes incentive to positively promote Acorns tier one compensation provided you know investing involves risk.

[Dana Carvey]

Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] fly no, I agree. I just, I'm in. I, I have a self critical side of my brain and I have, if I do stand up in a club one night from the other can be completely different. If I get into a character or some idea I like, I like it to be kind of riffing, partial material riffing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, right.

[Dana Carvey]

But very hard with like 19 cameras. I don't know why they need that many. And then I get locked into doing my outline. Like, okay, I've got to get to this next bit. But if I was live, I go, oh, I'm gonna go over here and do Anthony Fauci for 10 minutes. So.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh yeah, yeah, you can't do that during a special riffing. It would be very difficult to capture.

[Dana Carvey]

Because you don't know 10 nights unless you did a lo fi crew and did 10 nights. But so more crowd work.

[David Spade]

That's tough.

[Dana Carvey]

One thing I was just curious at your take on this hot take that this era of Netflix special and comedians playing stadiums and arenas and multiple nights at Madison Square Garden. I don't know exactly when it started, but it's a phenomena. And I don't know if one of our great female comics, sorry to put it in that box, has made that leap to arenas or Madison Square Garden or has someone done that?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, Amy. Well, I've played Madison Square Garden, but not the, I think I did the theater at Madison Square Garden. I've definitely done Radio City for multiple nights. Amy Schumer played Madison garden, I believe 20,000, 18,000.

[David Spade]

Yeah, that's a big one.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean that's going to happen. I mean I, Amy, did arenas, I did an arena tour. You know, at some point in my career. I don't do arenas now. I do like usually three to 4,000 seaters. But like, I mean, I think it's going to happen. You know, there's so many people coming up. Taylor Tomlinson you know, she sells tons of tickets. Atscu, Otsuko. I mean, there's a ton. So, yeah, I think it's also a choice. You know, some comics don't want to move to that level. Like, it's. There's a. There's a level of intimacy. I remember dating Jo Koy, and Jo Koy does arenas, and I would go and do guest sets at his shows, and I'd be like, this is too many people. Like, how can you. I have so many facial expressions and, like, subtleties. How can that be captured in such a big stadium or arena? And I remember getting off stage being like, oh, easily. So, like, you kind of have this attitude, like, oh, I got to keep it intimate. But then when you're exposed to that kind of audience, you're like, whoa, this is awesome.

[David Spade]

It's okay. Yeah. You need screens.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, there's always large screens.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, that works. Yeah.

[David Spade]

A lot of my jokes are very small. They're not even jokes, actually. It's not funny. None of my stuff is funny. And so it's harder to play any room.

[Dana Carvey]

That is difficult for you, David, as a comedian, to not have funny material and. Or be funny yourself. It's a deficit. You do so well with all that. Those. Those problems of not being funny and not having funny material.

[David Spade]

I've been. Sometimes I do, actually. Not on my own, but when I play the bigger rooms with Adam or something, Same thing. It's. It's harder because you see guys, like, in the. In the hallways where you, like. It's like at a concert where you see those guys, this guy's selling beer over here. There's always someone talking. There's always people drifting off. Not everyone's ever focused at once, but if they're locked into you, like, if it's your crowd I see, I always say Nate Brazzi, his crowd, he plays big places, and they're just waiting for, like, throwaway jokes, setup jokes. They're laughing at setups, and they're just, like, so intently listening. I go, that's the dream. Just get people, like, waiting for every fucking thing you say. Instead of the big swings, you're like, yabba dabba do. You know, you gotta really, sometimes to get everybody at once. You go bigger. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, no, I don't think you do now, David. I don't think you do.

[David Spade]

I don't even know what's going on right now.

[Dana Carvey]

So what, you're a busy human being.

[Chelsea Handler]

Entrepreneur. I'd like the word entrepreneur, even though I have no business I have no business.

[David Spade]

We have a correction.

[Dana Carvey]

I have five books now do really well. Should people go buy this book? I'll do a lyric.

[David Spade]

Great question.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what? If you're into me and you're into my stories and you're into my humor, go buy the book. If you're not, skip it. Like, this is my seventh book and my fifth or fourth stand up special. To be determined. We still haven't figured that out. And I don't know, I like to be. I like to hustle. You know what I mean? I like to do my own thing and I don't really like direction from people. So as long as I.

[Dana Carvey]

You are an entrepreneur, you're in charge of your career. You're not a. You're not someone for hire. You do the hiring.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, right. Like, I don't like to be. I, I have been hired for jobs, but, you know, historically I work best when I'm my own boss. So I do my podcasts, I do my specials, I do my books, I do my, like, you know, TV stuff. But I try not to have a long term position where anyone is giving me notes on anything.

[Dana Carvey]

I would say the only time I've really not enjoyed show business is when I was working with people with different sensibilities and they had power. Yeah, that's the worst feeling. You know, they're offering, oh, I just want some advice for a sec. Like, they're, they're asking me, can I write a book? Just that you don't have to answer this in long form, but what's your advice? Someone writing a book? I mean, did you talk to a tape recorder? Did you have a writer's assistant? Do you just start throwing stuff at the wall or how, how do you do it?

[Chelsea Handler]

Didn't you, you have a book, Dana? I think I have your book, don't you?

[David Spade]

I don't think.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I didn't.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, maybe I'm thinking of your book, David.

[Dana Carvey]

My book would be too dark. I mean, no one would believe it is the problem, you know, because I, I, you know, don't have that image. But, you know.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I think it's pretty. I mean, listen, I think as long as you're honest. For me, I just think honesty is a commodity. There's a lack of it. People are a little bit scared of honesty and like conflict and uncomfortable things. So I like to like kind of go like headfirst into that stuff. And that works for me. And it's like whatever your point of view is, I think anyone can write a fucking Book, especially, like, in our industry, everybody does. So that should be your first, you know, barometer that you. You can do it. And your stories, the reason why they're yours is because they're not believable. Like, everyone's stories, you could say that about. So I would say I don't use it now. I don't use a writer's assistant when I write my books. I do it all by myself, and I just start writing. I sit down here. Yeah. I type everything on a computer, and then I have an editor look at it. And then when it's, like, shaped and it's in some sort of form, I'll start sharing it with people. But usually I don't. I don't like too much feedback. Like, I have, like, three or four people whose opinions I respect. And then based on that, I'll be like, okay. Like, I'll go to them from the COVID or the title or, you know, like, my editor named this book. I'll have what she's having. I was like, I'm not naming a book. I'll have what she's having about myself. That's so stupid. And she's like, no, that's how you feel after reading the book. I'm telling you, you want what you're having. And I was like, okay. And then I had to think about it, because usually I was like, that's a little. But then I was like, yeah, you're right. I want people. That's what I want to inject people with. It's like a little bit of optimism in sad, dark times.

[Dana Carvey]

What about When Harry Met Sally, where she says, I'll have what she's having. Was there any conversation of maybe not referring to a famous romantic?

[David Spade]

That's part of the famous.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, that's part of the reference. Yeah. So this is what you have to learn about books. It's kind of like, you know, we have a lot to learn. Deva.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, we're. That. We're that tight. We. We go by one name, Deva. But thank you. The only thing I'd be interested for you is, like, you're very honest. But then you'll get to a chapter or a point or a story where you. You can hurt somebody, maybe, and you like them or you don't like them. How do you navigate feelings? Or you just, you know, do you just navigate that a little bit? It's a judgment call. Should I bury this person at the party where they were drunk or keep it in?

[David Spade]

Stuff like that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, you have to legally shroud people's identity unless they're a public figure. So, like, if I had my story about Andrew Cuomo, which happens to. To be in my standup special, and in my book, there's a crossover, it's two kind of different. Like, there's way more room for detail and everything in the book, but he's a public figure. So I tell, like, one version of that story in the book, and I tell. I mean, it's the same version, but, you know, different storytelling styles for standup, for books. But, like, for him, I don't have to ask permission because everything I'm telling is true. For a friend of mine that I'm writing about who I like, who isn't a public figure that I'm saying something embarrassing or bad about. Like, I have to shroud her identity so that no one will read it and recognize who you're talking about. So sometimes it's like, I. I'll make up a character. I'll make a guy a girl or make, you know, you make them a different age, a different part of the world they live in, and blah, blah, blah, just to kind of shroud their identity. But that's what you have to do when you write books.

[Dana Carvey]

Also, I've gotten all I need today, thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is your motivational. This is your motivational talk for you guys this morning for both of you.

[David Spade]

Dava, I have a question about your. You don't like bosses at work, but do you like. When you date someone, do you like to be bossed around?

[Chelsea Handler]

A boss in the bedroom? I mean, I would have. I like being sexually bossed around. I mean, no one's really going to boss me around because that's just not going to happen. You know what I mean? I don't have time for that. But I do like, sexually, when somebody kind of tosses me around and tells me to shut up or, like, pushes my head down, you know, like playful sex, I like that.

[David Spade]

Into the wall.

[Dana Carvey]

Did Jo Koy do that?

[Chelsea Handler]

Probably when I asked him to. You know, you got to kind of tell guys, luckily these days that you want that and that you want to get like, you know. So, yeah, I'm sure Jo Koy was a little bit, you know, trying to throw me around, I'm sure.

[David Spade]

Well, also, yeah, you go, hey, Joe.

[Chelsea Handler]

Coy during sex all the time. I would go, oh, my God, Joe Coy, Joe boy. Oh, my God, Jo Koy. Are you in? What's happening?

[David Spade]

I've never heard anyone just call him Joe. I think it's always joke I didn't.

[Chelsea Handler]

Know that he didn't know how to spell Jokoi. I thought Joe Koy. I thought J O K O Y was like his birth name. 1 His name is actually Joe and then Coy is a made up name. So. And then he combined Jo Koy Jokoi. So I don't know. Yeah, yeah. So that was actually difficult when I was writing the book because there's a chapter about. I talk about my relationship with Jo Koy and I. I'm real big on spelling and grammar. Like I find it to be a turn on when also people pay attention to spelling and grammar. And so I. He spells his name Jo Koy and I had to spell it Joe E and then K O Y and his face. I did. I couldn't spell it that way that he wants people to spell it just out of respect for myself.

[Dana Carvey]

It's not an actual name in the English language with a female.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well that's right. Women are who are named Joe. It's Jo and he's spelling his name like a woman. So I had to respect him because I know he doesn't present, he doesn't identify as a woman. So I wanted to spell his name correctly just by chance he might see it and learn how to spell his own name.

[David Spade]

Yeah, well Joe.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it has. It's whimsical a little bit, you know. I don't know. Joe, you know Joe's like a Joe guy, you know Joe Joe, yeah. Stick. Yeah.

[David Spade]

I wouldn't do it just because it's a female name. Like I would change. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe didn't know that Joe from Little.

[Chelsea Handler]

Women you're talking about.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

There's not that many addition like you. Who's the better stand up on their best night, you or Joe Coy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, I would. Well Joe's a great stand up. I would never say that I'm a better. He's great. I mean he is very good at what he does.

[David Spade]

So it would help if you said you were better.

[Chelsea Handler]

I would never say that about any comic. I don't need to say that.

[Dana Carvey]

He's powerful. Definitely. He's physical. He does a lot of voices of other.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[David Spade]

People are different comics. She'll say that. That's actually good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes. Completely opposite ends of the spectrum. Exactly. It'd be like comparing an apple to a pineapple.

[Dana Carvey]

To a typewriter.

[David Spade]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

To a Dyson. It was like being comparing a clean air. What is this called? An air doctor. We ought to get air doctors right after the fire. It would be like comparing an apple to an air doctor.

[Dana Carvey]

I think comparing to the lunar module.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes, that's right, David.

[David Spade]

It would be like, oh, I don't have any good ones that. But I was saying that maybe.

[Chelsea Handler]

Chelsea, the chemistry between the two of you is palpable. I think the chemistry between the three of us is very intriguing as well.

[David Spade]

So palpable is good?

[Chelsea Handler]

Palpable is. Yeah. Something you can almost. You can feel it and you can touch it almost.

[Dana Carvey]

When you date a guy, do you.

[David Spade]

Feel like you're a little intimidating or guys scared to ask you out? You think?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I think men are very disturbed by me. Yes. I think that they said. I think they find me off footing. And some men really love me, and that's nice. But I think, as men in general, straight guys above a certain age are a little bit put off by me. I'm not trying to be intimidating or to turn people off. I just have that essence about myself.

[David Spade]

And I can seem like you're out trying to turn them on either. You're not, like, thirstily going after guys. You're just.

[Dana Carvey]

The last time you had sex.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, just a few weeks ago. I have a. I have a mountain. I have a mountain lover. I have a. I have a mountain man that I have sex with in my mountain house in Whistler, Canada, where I ski. So right now I'm in la, and usually in the winter time, I have sex with a mountain man.

[Dana Carvey]

And does the mountain man have a big burly beard and really husky? What is it?

[David Spade]

A lot of people? What are you getting at?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, he has a big. He has a beard. It's not burly like what you're envisioning, but he has a beard. He definitely looks like he's from the mountain. You know what I mean?

[David Spade]

Is it Bert Kreisler?

[Chelsea Handler]

It is not Bert Kreischer. No.

[Dana Carvey]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

He has never been on top of me. Inside of me. I don't think he's been on top of anyone except for his own life. So that's probably for the best.

[Dana Carvey]

That's sweet. Yeah, that is.

[David Spade]

We're gonna spin that. Sweet.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you have a mountain man in a cabin. You've got a Best Selling about to happen.

[David Spade]

Dial it in.

[Dana Carvey]

You got a special. I mean, what don't you have right now, a baby?

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't have a baby. Thank God. So that's. There's that, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think about all the things that I don't have that I'm grateful that I don't have. Like a husband. I never wanted to be married. I just find that idea. I can't believe you've never gotten married. David, did you get married one time?

[David Spade]

I don't think so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Good for you, like for making that decision. Dana, what about you? Have you.

[David Spade]

It's hard to make that decision, to be honest.

[Dana Carvey]

I was born to be married. I've been married for 42 years.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, wow. Congrats on that. That's nice.

[Dana Carvey]

I guess so.

[David Spade]

That's why Dana and I have all the sexual tension between.

[Dana Carvey]

I just had a really weird childhood and I, I would get. The walls would close in on me over time if I was just alone too. Too much, you know, so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, right.

[Dana Carvey]

If you, when you, when you've had a great boyfriend and he's not, you're not married to him and you're watching TV and you're having fun and you have your separate career in life, that's fun. Right? Because that, you get to share stuff. It's fun. Right. You don't have to get married though. Marriage.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, no, no, no.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I'm with David. I mean David and I probably have some similar dating habits. I like just to have an open field and even if I am dating someone, it's, it's very clear. Like this is not, you know, this is nice and everything, but there's not going to be any sort of long term commitment made ever. And that's not the way I roll.

[David Spade]

I don't think I've ever had that conversation.

[Dana Carvey]

That's great.

[David Spade]

It makes harder for guys to have that conversation. Well, guys that looks like me.

[Dana Carvey]

Bill Maher always says to me, everyone wants me to get married. I go, no one wants you to get married.

[David Spade]

You know, who cares?

[Dana Carvey]

We don't married. Don't think that you've all got to be married, so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Especially Bill Maher, like, who's worried about Bill Maher getting married? Who?

[Dana Carvey]

Who?

[Chelsea Handler]

No one.

[Dana Carvey]

He says, yeah, exactly.

[David Spade]

I go to Chelsea at things just to go laugh because she's always going to say something snipy and funny about somebody. It's always funny. You're always good to. I think I've even been to your house. I don't know if it's that house.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, this is a new house. You know whose house I bought? Rfk. RFK jr's house is the house he and Cheryl Hines. I bought this house. I didn't know that they owned the house when I bought it, which would.

[Dana Carvey]

Have been a huge take out the weight room.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why do you. I mean, I Haven't. I have had an infection ever since I moved into this house and I believe it's from him.

[David Spade]

He's supposed to be health guy. And you got.

[Chelsea Handler]

Look at. This is from. Look at this bruise. It's from my iv. I have to have a daily intravenous. Yeah, like that was from a rough.

[David Spade]

Up session with mountain man.

[Chelsea Handler]

With Joy right now.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you? Congratulations. Me too.

[David Spade]

LinkedIn is something we've all heard about, Dana. You've heard about. I've heard about it. And as a small business owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early.

[Dana Carvey]

Nope.

[David Spade]

The biz is on your mind 24 7. So when you're hiring, you need a partner that grinds it out as hard as you do. That hiring partner's LinkedIn jobs. When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks it makes it easy to post your job for free, share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place.

[Dana Carvey]

I like it. This is a famous one. I think this is one of the first online job hiring entities and it does make it easy. It's a pain in the bottom. You have to interview tons of people. They don't work out. You post your job. LinkedIn's new feature can help you write the job description and then quick get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights.

[David Spade]

Yeah, you don't have to know much. They're going to like walk you through it. It's, you know, you don't have time to even like figure out how to do this. You just, you know, post your job for free or you can pay to promote it. Promoted Jobs gets three times more qualified applicants. You get qualified candidates. I've always heard this. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality of candidates. You want the right people. With LinkedIn, you can feel confident you're getting the best.

[Dana Carvey]

That's right. Based on LinkedIn data, 72% of SMBs using LinkedIn say that LinkedIn helps them find high quality candidates.

[David Spade]

Listen, you share it with your network. You can let your network know you're hiring. You can even add hashtag hiring frame for your profile picture and get two times more qualified candidates.

[Dana Carvey]

If you're curious, David, what can they do?

[David Spade]

Well, you find out why more than 2 1/2 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring. Find your next great hire. Post your job for [e-mail] candidates. That's LinkedIn.com candidates to post your job for free. What applies though, Dana Terms and conditions. Dana. It's award season, which means we're due for some classic red carpet combos like strapless dresses and statement necklaces or acclaimed directors and long acceptance speeches.

[Dana Carvey]

But you know what? Look always pairs perfectly together. Discover and cash back. You see Discover automatically matches all the cash back you've earned at the end of the first year, which is a.

[David Spade]

Look that will always serve. It pays to slay. It pays to discover. See [e-mail] credit card Robert Half research indicates nine out of 10 hiring managers are having difficulty hiring. If you have open roles, chances are you're feeling this too. That's why you need Robert Half. Our specialized recruiting professionals engage their skills with our award winning AI to connect businesses of all sizes with highly skilled talent in finance and accounting, technology, marketing and creative, legal and administrative and customer support. At Robert Half we know talent. Visit roberthal.com today.

[Dana Carvey]

I did a benefit for the cardiovascular whatever and I think Ryan Streetcrest was on it, but it was a horrible environment. And I went out there and it was pulling a tractor and I bombed and I came outside and I think you might have been smoking a cigarette. I don't even know if you smoke, but you seem like incredibly cool and confident and you sort of, you sort of went, how many of these do you do? Like you basically in my mind you were saying to me, why would you do this? And I had the disease to please and say yes. And so that's how I remember you. And I thought you were very cool.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, well, that's cute. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm just cute.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Chelsea, Part of her, her attraction is she's, she's not very pretty, but she's very like kind of a tough chick that you have to you. Everyone feels like they have to win over because she's not easily like she doesn't she.

[Dana Carvey]

We're referring to you now, Chelsea. Yeah, he doesn't.

[David Spade]

I thought she hung up.

[Dana Carvey]

She doesn't suffer fools. I would not say you got to.

[David Spade]

Throw something out of that's decent because she's not going to. She's going to see there's a hurt.

[Dana Carvey]

Little girl in there somewhere and a vulnerable person behind that. Dennis. There's a gooey, sentimental cr.

[David Spade]

Softy.

[Dana Carvey]

I think everyone has.

[David Spade]

By the way, I like that she's texting during this. Anyway, we're giving all these compliments and.

[Chelsea Handler]

You'Re like, I'm just texting the. I'm texting the police.

[David Spade]

You're going, you're going. Can we wrap this up?

[Dana Carvey]

Is going to be on the podcast. Okay.

[David Spade]

I have to say, here's two names for your next specials. Ready?

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

One is more honester. That's not bad.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's not bad. I like that, actually.

[David Spade]

More honester, because you're always honest. But you have another special.

[Dana Carvey]

I got one.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

I've got doubles.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Okay. And here's one more.

[Chelsea Handler]

So those are two suggestions, and one of them I like.

[David Spade]

I don't have a baby. Thank God.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's right.

[David Spade]

It's not a bad one because people are like, oh, I want to hear what that shit's all about. You can.

[Chelsea Handler]

I feel like. Yeah. I feel like I've said that so many times that I like more honester, though. That's a good one. I'm actually going to put that in my notes section, too.

[David Spade]

Two words. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Two words, three syllables.

[Dana Carvey]

Mine was intentionally going for the worst title ever, so his is actually good. I'm thinking of how about just Chelsea with an exclamation point?

[David Spade]

How about. She's already done that.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, she's already done that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've done it. Everything is everything. I've used that name up. I need a new name.

[David Spade]

You know, it's funny. Whitney and Chelsea. Like, there's Eliza. A lot of the female comics, you know them by one name. You don't know me by date. You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

You, all you. Everyone knows you by spade. Everyone goes by you. Guys go by last names. Well, some of the girls.

[David Spade]

Guys go by last. Yeah, it's true. Sandler, Rock, Spade. We even call each other that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah, you do. That's right. Speaking of Hollywood parties, are you going to Guy O Series House tomorrow night, David?

[David Spade]

Oh, I'm not. Because I have a casino gig.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, dear.

[David Spade]

Well, I would love it.

[Dana Carvey]

That's fun.

[David Spade]

I would like to see you there.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. I was just gonna see if you wanted to go with me on MY plus. As my. My plus one. But you're. I can't believe. Or as you're. You know, if you were going. But.

[David Spade]

Well, those are fun because he never says who's going, and I never ask. I just go. I'll just go and see what's going on. But I. I were shoot. I'm shooting this independent right now film, and this is my first day off in a while, and I definitely wanted to do this with you because we. It's been hard to sort of organize. But then tomorrow I have to go to a show I had booked before I did this, so I am going to miss it. I would like to do that. It's a fun night.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I hope you have a great time at your casino gig. What? What. What. What city is that in?

[David Spade]

No one knows. It's exactly you go and you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Casinos are pretty tricky.

[David Spade]

They're fun, though. And when you get there, they're not bad.

[Dana Carvey]

Is it with Nikki?

[David Spade]

With Nikki Glaser?

[Dana Carvey]

No, no, no.

[David Spade]

We do a Vegas thing, sort of like Chelsea sometimes. And those are fun, too. At least Vegas you can stay up late. Chelsea.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I like to gamble. I like to play with, like, lots of money and gamble. I. So I. I do my show. Usually I have a bunch of friends or family or whomever. Like, they come and they get a block of rooms. You know, we hook them up, they come out, fly out with me, and then we gamble. And I. You know, I love gambling. I love blackjack. I love supplying everyone with money to gamble for people who don't have money to throw around. And I always start with a certain number, and I always leave, and I always, always walk out with more money. Like, I am so lucky with gambling. And I have made that casino, I believe, luckier.

[Dana Carvey]

What do you play? Blackjack. What are you playing?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Miracle year. I just fucking said it.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. Well, I have a fever on antibiotics.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm also on antibiotics with a fever, just FYI. Okay? So stop your complaining.

[David Spade]

I apologize. I'm.

[Dana Carvey]

You're on antibiotics.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, intravenous. Look at this, you guys. I have a picc line in my arm. I have, like, a massive infection.

[David Spade]

Amy Winehouse.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, I know. It's embarrassing. I'm, like, falling apart at the seams. But, I mean, I'll be okay, just like you'll be okay. Dana Carvey.

[David Spade]

Once you get Carvey, the whole name. I have a question.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. Ms. Handler is the toughest one. Handler. That's the special.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's what George Bush called me when we met at his Kenny bun board. He kept calling me Ms. Handler, like, to really enunciate them, like, for my. To represent my, like, loose lifestyle, like this. This unmarried hellion.

[Dana Carvey]

He likes the harlot guy. W. Harlot?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

He makes jezebel.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, well, you would know, Dana. I mean, you played him for so many years. That's your.

[Dana Carvey]

You mean Bush senior?

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, right. Didn't you play him, too? No, I'm talking about Bush junior.

[Dana Carvey]

You play Bush junior? Just in my stand up. But Will Ferrell did him on snl. But I played him. Everybody does. W. He's a funny, funny character.

[Chelsea Handler]

My podcast is called Dear Chelsea. People call in for real life advice. And it's. Yeah, so it's not like anything you guys would ever listen to.

[Dana Carvey]

You take phone calls from fans and from real people.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, not fans. People who have fucking problems and they call in and I consider myself like a medical doctor.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm pretty smart about giving advice to people. I'm really good at it. And I'm really a good, like, motivator. Like, go get your shit together and get, you know, make a good life decision. So, yeah, I have a podcast called Dear Chelsea. And I'm really excited, actually, guys, to be spending this. It feels like a Saturday morning today, doesn't it? It's Friday, but it feels like a Saturday morning.

[David Spade]

I swear I thought it was Saturday.

[Dana Carvey]

This is the earliest we've done one.

[David Spade]

I don't think we've ever in history.

[Dana Carvey]

On earlier.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, well, maybe that explains it.

[Dana Carvey]

I get up early, so I like this.

[Chelsea Handler]

So do I. I always get up early wherever I am in the world.

[David Spade]

They said you have to be at the Beverly center at 10, so we'll let you go, I guess.

[Chelsea Handler]

Beverly Center? I hope not. My God.

[David Spade]

That's what they told us. They go.

[Chelsea Handler]

I hate malls. I grew up in New Jersey, as you know, Livingston, New Jersey, which you mention, obviously. And I have had my run and fill of shopping malls. So please don't mention any shopping mall to me again because I'm. I'm wrapped.

[David Spade]

Well, where are you going to go to, Lady Footlocker? They just have them on the street.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, don't you love. Don't you love a good food court, though?

[Chelsea Handler]

You mean Sabaro? Yes, I do.

[Dana Carvey]

A w. Now. Now we're talking. Finally.

[Chelsea Handler]

No Panda Express. I do not like Panda Express. I would like to put that out there on the record.

[David Spade]

Put it out there for future dates.

[Dana Carvey]

Spade's gonna get a Wendy's hamburger at some point today.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you.

[David Spade]

I do still eat that once in a while.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, Yeah. I. I used to like Wendy's chicken nuggets, but, you know those. That's not chicken. And I had to come to terms with that. Even though they're like my favorite fucking snack. I just had to eventually just be like, what am I putting in my body? You know, I put so many chemicals in it already. Does it really need these chicken nuggets to put me over the top?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That doesn't appeal to me.

[David Spade]

Chelsea, I think we'll let you go. You did a great job. And I just want to say, lastly, you did use the word Assange.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is that what you said earlier, Assuage.

[David Spade]

It's great. I wrote it down. Good job. Okay, great.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think you learned a few words today, quite frankly.

[David Spade]

By the way, when I text, I gotta. If I ever text you, I have to be less like, yo, yo, yo. Cause I talk like a rapper, so I have to probably. I'll do all the spelling stuff for you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, well, don't worry. I don't think anyone's confusing you with a wrapper.

[Dana Carvey]

Make sure you change that wrap after we hang up asap. Spadey, change your wrap on your arm. Oh, yeah.

[David Spade]

Chelsea, let's get you choppered out of there. Things aren't going well.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, it's been like this, you guys. I'm. I'm. This is my life for the next week. So it's okay. Don't worry.

[David Spade]

Well, you're perfectly charming on here. Thank you for doing it. Thank you.

[Dana Carvey]

Nice hanging out. And I don't know who said this to me, but we'll see you around campus.

[David Spade]

Yeah, we'll see you around campus.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, great. Goodbye, Dana, David and David.

[David Spade]

Bye, sweetheart.

[Chelsea Handler]

Goodbye.

[David Spade]

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow. Subscribe Leave a Like a review all the stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.