Collapse and Controversy

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: Collapse and Controversy
Date: July 13, 2026

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Main Theme / Episode Overview

In this spontaneous and loosely structured "emergency" episode, comedy legends Dana Carvey and David Spade riff on personal mishaps, oddities of showbiz, moving nightmares, bug infestations, shifting reputations in comedy, generational changes, and trending pop culture controversies. True to the show’s “fly on the wall” spirit, the duo blend stand-up caliber banter with genuine friendship, plenty of impressions, and digressions into absurdity. Listeners are treated to behind-the-scenes glimpses of their lives, reflections on career trajectories, the perils of adulting (moving, security, home repairs), plus ongoing debates over podcasting, pop culture, and horse naming.

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Key Topics and Discussion Points

1. Emergency Episode: The Move & Home Mishaps

• The Setup (02:16): David reveals the episode is “kind of an emergency podcast”—recorded last-minute amid his move to a new house.
  • "[This show’s] maybe not our A plus. Just know that we didn’t know we were going to do this two and half minutes ago." — David Spade [02:47]
• Moving Stories & Paranoia (03:03–05:43):
  • Recent move results in unexpected issues: air conditioning leaks, mysterious late-night lights/sirens, and mentions of past home break-ins.
  • Recounts a bizarre “ransom” situation with the previous home security company: "The old company just contacted us. They want 25 grand to stop that. They were doing it on purpose." — Spade [05:08]
  • Brad Pitt “super famous guy” was name-dropped as another victim of home tech ransom, with Carvey riffing on fame.
• First Night Jitters & Settling In (07:16–09:00):
  • Disorientation of being between homes; dinner with Jon Lovitz, who let David pay after an elaborate “forgot my wallet” routine (A & B, multiple times after [02:02], [08:15])
  • Anxiety and repeated peeing during the first night in a new house leads to further banter about “medication working.” [08:50]

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2. Bugs, Nature, and Living with Creatures

• Frogs in Toilets (09:14–10:48): Dana describes recurring incidents of frogs crawling up through the toilet at his property.
  • “Sometimes I want to send them back to nirvana…so I flush. Still stuck.” [09:52]
• Tarantulas & Wasp Parasitism (10:48–12:20):
  • David explains the darkly comic “symbiotic” cycle between tarantulas and parasitic wasps.
  • Carvey: “That’s so uncool. The tarantula can’t do anything, right?” [11:33]
  • Spade: “That’s the top five funniest things you’ve ever said on this podcast.” [11:38]
  • Comparison to Alien: “They avoid vital organs to keep [the tarantula] alive and feed on everything else. Then the baby is happy…and flies away.” [12:09]
• Respect for Animals: Dana shares his policy of not killing frogs/tarantulas if he can help it.

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3. Showbiz, Comedy Personas, and Typecasting

• Why Spade Wasn’t at the Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce Wedding (12:47):
  • Fan question addressed directly: “I wasn’t invited and I don’t know the bride or groom.” — Spade [12:47], with recurring jokes about his absence.
• Reputation & Typecasting (15:05–21:45):
  • Wide-ranging discussion on the challenge for comics to reinvent their public image:
    • Spade: “There’s too many easy things in show business that go right by everybody… Play the good guy, then everyone will like you.” [16:33]
    • Sandler’s advice to Spade about shifting to “the good guy” role.
  • Carvey reflects on wanting to play “nice guys” (inspired by Garth, based on his brother): “I want to be Garth. It’s the nicest character I’ve ever played.” [22:33]
  • How public perceptions can stick: “They don’t know the real you.” [15:44]
• Comedy Casting Constraints:
  • “They’ll get Owen Wilson for that…But there’s all these comics that do different things, and you wonder why they all play the same thing.” — Spade [21:45–21:57]

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4. Hollywood, The Odyssey Controversy, and Industry Changes

• Odyssey Oscar Drama (24:04–25:56):
  • Brief explainer on the new Academy Award guidelines, with speculation about Chris Nolan’s eligibility.
  • David compares Jason and the Argonauts to The Odyssey, waxing nostalgic for practical effects.
    • “CGI is still not quite there. If you look at the models in 2001…it was just creepier and weirder.” — Spade [25:32]
  • Banter about 3D effects vs modern CGI: “I like 3D hasn’t been defeated.” — Carvey [26:03]

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5. Podcasting Boom & Collapse

• Industry Reflections (27:08–29:21):
  • The hosts reflect humorously on podcast market oversaturation.
    • “When we started, it was a million podcasts…Now it’s literally like getting in [to America] today after all this time, and then you’ll probably still make money.” — Spade [27:42]
    • Most podcasts “collapse” after seven episodes.
  • Brief comparisons with SmartLess and other big-name podcasts, some light-hearted envy, and acknowledgment of their own success and millions of listeners.

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6. Impressions Parade

• Impressions Interlude (30:05–33:07, 48:00–50:23):
  • Carvey and Spade do impressions of George W. Bush, Obama, Trump, Charles Barkley, Stallone, and others, riffing on everything from politics to golf (e.g. [30:05–31:24], [48:13–49:53]).
    • Notable Obama quote: “Michelle and I will laugh, laugh and laugh until we can’t laugh no more. We laugh all we can.” — Carvey as Obama [31:45]
  • Ongoing jokes about Barkley: “That’s terrible.” — Carvey as Barkley [48:18]
  • “Don’t get cute!” — Spade as Trump [49:07]

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7. Pop Culture, Generational Shifts, and News Bits

• Generational Gaps (54:14–55:08):
  • News bit: Schools removing analog clocks because teens can’t tell time, and kids not knowing cursive or Roman numerals.
  • “Super Bowl has to get rid of Roman numerals because no one knows what that…MCX, Charlie, they don’t know anything.” — Carvey [54:29]
• Stuntmen & Social Media (55:06–57:06):
  • Viral clips of flaming stuntmen, reflections on how little monetization comes from viral TikTok stunts.

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8. Audience Interactions & Horse Naming

• New Horse on the Farm (39:16–42:31):
  • Dana recounts the birth of a foal on their property—discussion of possible names, with “Charlie Chaplin” floating to the top, referencing its awkward attempts to stand.
  • Spade reflects on the simple joy and innocence of horses: “They're not worried about how they look and stuff.” [41:07]
  • Mention of listener suggestions and a photo shared on Twitter.
• Promise of Future Animal Content (62:04–62:24):
  • Listeners are told to expect more “horse videos” in coming episodes, as the foal grows.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This is kind of an emergency podcast…we didn’t know we were going to do this two and a half minutes ago.” — David Spade [02:47]
• "The old company just contacted us. They want 25 grand to stop that. They were doing it on purpose." — Spade [05:08]
• “That paralyzed tarantula…then the baby is happy and flies away. This happens a thousand times a day all over the valley.” — Spade [12:09]
• “If you want a bad boy, later you got a stomachache, right? You ordered off the menu.” — Carvey [14:41]
• “CGI is still not quite there…It was just creepier and weirder.” — Spade [25:32]
• Carvey (as Obama): “Michelle and I will laugh, laugh and laugh until we can’t laugh no more. We laugh all we can.” [31:45]
• “Don’t get cute!” — Spade as Trump [49:07]
• “Schools had to remove analog clocks because teens couldn’t tell time.” — Carvey [54:14]
• “They're not worried about how they look and stuff.” — Spade on horses [41:07]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro / Ads End & Show Content Begins: [02:16]
• David’s Emergency Move Story: [02:47–09:14]
• Frog & Tarantula Talk: [09:14–12:09]
• Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce Wedding & Audience Qs: [12:47]
• Comedy Reputations & Typecasting: [15:05–21:57]
• Odyssey/Nolan Oscar Controversy: [24:04–25:56]
• Podcasting Market & Collapse Theme: [27:08–29:21]
• Celebrity Impressions: [30:05–33:07, 48:00–50:23]
• Horse Naming & Listener Input: [39:16–42:31]
• Generational Shifts/Analog Clocks Bit: [54:14–55:08]
• Viral Clip / Jiu Jitsu Bar Standoff: [57:11–59:49]

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Tone & Style

• Language/Tone: Playful, off-the-cuff, heavy on improvisation and inside jokes; typical of two genuine friends and seasoned comics riffing for their own amusement and the audience’s delight.
• Speaker Attributions: Spade and Carvey share the comedic spotlight, with rapid conversational handoffs and in-character banter (often switching voices for jokes and impressions).
• Audience Engagement: Regular references to audience questions, Twitter polls, and requests for more animal content; several calls to action at the end for reviews, subscriptions, and shares.

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Final Notes

This episode is a classic, slightly-chaotic "Fly on the Wall" outing: fast, funny, and rich in comic tangents, with refreshing candor about the grind of showbiz and the bumbling of real life. For listeners new and old, it’s a satisfying mess of Hollywood scoops, sketch comedy, nostalgia, and animal hijinks—just right for fans seeking that perfect blend of banter and behind-the-scenes.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Hey, before we jump back into the show, let's take a quick break. All right, not just any break. This is a refreshing break with Snapple. We all know about Snapple's iconic real facts, so let's take a minute to go over some of my faves.

[B]

Snapple Real fact. 455 movie trailers used to come on at the end of the movies, but no one stuck around to watch them.

[A]

I've heard that. What's Apple Real Fact 831. Adults laugh only about 15 to 100 times a day, while preschoolers laugh an average of 300 times a day.

[B]

Snapple Real Fact 1983. The first player drafted to play pro football never played in the league.

[A]

That's interesting. Snapple Real fact 1274. Kickball is referred to as soccer baseball in some parts of Canada. Hmm.

[B]

So grab a Snapple, take a second, enjoy the moment.

[A]

Because let's be honest, this might be the most refreshing part of your day. Snapple. Make your break more interesting. He did do a good thing when the bill came. He goes, I got it. And I go, okay. And he goes, no, my wallet.

[B]

I got it. I thought I forgot. No. He does a whole dance when the bill comes. He's like, he does the whole thing like he's reaching. Ah, reaching in there. You know, you're like, oh, hell, really?

[A]

I'm just getting my gun. Now you pay it.

[B]

You haven't said wiener or butthole. So I just lost a polymarket. Polymarket Kalishi. Because people have kept asking me. I know it's after the fact. Why wasn't I at the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce wedding. Well, it's because I wasn't invited and I don't know the bride or groom. This is as close to. And this is no joke. I'm not getting around here. This is like a kind of an emergency podcast. Like we didn't know. Just so if this. This shows maybe not our A plus. Just know that we didn't know we were going to do this two and a half minutes ago.

[A]

Pretty much. I'm in the new place. Everyone's been clamoring for details.

[B]

David's been. It's a moving whoop dee doo. Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

Me moving is. Is like Taylor Swift's wedding. Like any tidbits, any gossip, any juice, any leaks?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At the move.

[B]

Any leaks in the house?

[A]

Yeah, there was a leak. The air conditioner was somehow leaking under the sink. And on the Heather was like. We were all like, what the. My buddy Jody's here. He's like, there's a leak in the laundry room. Like, I don't think that should be connected to my dog. New AC trash. I like, of course it's Money Pit within seconds.

[B]

Well, I don't know if you right now. Are you glad you're moving?

[A]

I'm glad. This is the first time I spent the night was last night and it was like. Because, you know the last time I moved.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You did not know this, but that place was bigger and it was a little scarier and I was upstairs and that was after. Well, obviously I've been attacked in the middle of night before. But also after that I got broken into and I was at the Comedy Store, so they stole my safe.

[B]

So you weren't eight minutes.

[A]

So I'm a little paranoid being in a new house. It was raining alone in winter and at 2am all the lights go on

[B]

and a siren went off.

[A]

Right? Yeah.

[B]

I mean there. That's not paranoia. That's just. That's just dangerous. It's a dangerous house.

[A]

That's from the movie Back Rooms. Yeah, that's a horror movie with Eli Roth. So I.

[B]

It's a great double feature. See Obsession in back rooms and then go right to a psychiatrist's office.

[A]

Okay. No, they go right to my first night, my house. So that one, the lights come on and the next night after I my pants. The next night, 2am lights go on again. The next day I get my guys in. I'm like, guys, any reason the lights are going on to him? He goes, oh, the old company just contact us. They want 25 grand to stop that. They were doing it on purpose.

[B]

Oh, wow. They want 25 grand. Some mob. Tony Soprano.

[A]

Yeah. They said, you know, if you want this to stop. The last person owes us money. And I go, well, I'm the first person that bought this. This is a new house. So if those guys owe you money, the developer, I don't know. But anyway, it was a full show, and then I heard Brad Pitt. Well, no names. I heard there was some super famous guy that had a situation like that. And so I said, oh. The only reason I'm saying that is that it's kind of something they do and they hold you for ransom.

[B]

Right? Well, Brad Pitt goes by super famous guy with his friends. That's a nickname. Hey, super famous guy, want to see a movie?

[A]

I get starstruck, gets off his motorcycles. Like, hey, I'm like, what if you're in 7 11? Or he's delivering my dominoes, takes it off.

[B]

I'm like, brad Pitt gets star struck. That guy looks in the mirror in the morning, goes, really?

[A]

He goes, oh, my God.

[B]

Brad Pitt? No. I asked Kim Kardashian that. Do you ever look in the mirror and you just go, wow? She goes, yeah, all the time.

[A]

Who are the movie stars right now? And then I'll get back to my boring story. Don't you worry.

[B]

Okay. And I need to talk about tarantulas, wasp and frogs.

[A]

Oh, okay. And I'll just say I'm in my house. It's.

[B]

I want to hear your story first. That was a teaser. That's how we keep them.

[A]

Oh, yeah. The people are like, we got to hang in there.

[B]

I'm going to turn.

[A]

What story about a bumblebee?

[B]

Okay, I want to hear your housing stories first.

[A]

It's just wrapping up that Heather threw this ragtag podcast situation together. It's not as easy as it looks. To get it to look shitty is actually hard. We are in here and she's flipping on anyway. And also, there's movers out there. And it's very weird the first night, but it went okay. Now I'm getting tougher and I'm getting ready for grownups. So it's like I have to move in, get settled. The second I'm settled, I have to flip it and pack everything and am scray.

[B]

Well. What? Just so I have clarity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where did you sleep last night? Old house or new house?

[A]

That was the first time I felt in a vortex in the middle of the day. Like they had finished packing around three at the old house. Okay. Bed, everything. And I had slept over there. Now the Bed, which is really your basis of your house, is driving around la. And I'm driving around LA going, either house has nothing in it. So I just sit on the floor and I drive to this one and just sit on the floor and go. I'm kind of just floating right now. And then stuff comes in. And then I went to dinner last night. I saw Lovett's and.

[B]

Hello, if you need any help, don't call

[A]

now.

[B]

He actually would like. He would like to tell you where to put furniture and stuff.

[A]

No, he liked it. He loves to give advice. So he picked me up and took me to dinner and he let me pay, which is very nice. He said. He said, I insist that you pay. He did do a good thing. When the bill came. He goes, I got it. And I go, okay. And he goes, no, my wallet.

[B]

I got it. I thought I forgot. No, he does a whole dance when the bill comes. He does a whole thing like he's reaching. Ah, reaching in there. You know, you're like, oh, hell, really?

[A]

I'm just getting my gun now you pay it.

[B]

So anyway, it's made of money too.

[A]

Came back, slept like a tough guy that I am, but it was weird.

[B]

You know, the age where, though, old house, new house.

[A]

New house.

[B]

Oh, interesting bed thrown together.

[A]

Ragtag mission.

[B]

What was your 2am Phobia vibe in that new house?

[A]

One of the nine times I had to pee, that's all.

[B]

Oh, you're under. You're under double digits. Well, then it's the medication. Medication's working.

[A]

No, I'm so young, dude. I. I don't pee at all. I pee on Fridays and Wednesdays.

[B]

You haven't said wiener or butthole. So I just lost a polymarket. Polymarket.

[A]

Kalishi.

[B]

It's over eight minutes. Kalishi. We must attack the trauma. Lights.

[A]

Talk about your bugs and then I'll talk about.

[B]

Okay, first of all, little frogs are now around. They're like this big too. And what they do is. I'm not quite sure. In the caretaker cottage, I think they come up through the toilet, which they love. They're in the septic tank and they love it down there. But some little rascals come up and then they're inside. They're above the water line in the toilet. They're like, it's a little frog.

[A]

They can't make it out or what?

[B]

Well, what it was like. Sometimes I sort of want to send them back to nirvana, which is a septic tank. So I flush and then I'm looking. It's still stuck. On the side. And then it gets a sense. I bring the lid up. And what they do in lightning speed is they leap out, leaps past me and sticks to the wall.

[A]

Oh, they have the little suction. So, yeah, they. Once they realize they're playing possum, but once you lift that lid, that blocks them. Yeah, they make.

[B]

They come out. And also, even if you flush, they have some kind. There's suction layers, suction. So they're everywhere. I don't like hurt things. I try to get a paper towel and throw them in in nature if I can. But if I squish them, I'll squish them, but I don't want to squish them. Now this. This might. You might find interesting, the. It's tarantula season up here.

[A]

Yeah, terrifying. I am scared of tarantulas.

[B]

This is a tarantula running as fast as it can.

[A]

Got their feelers up too. It's.

[B]

Now there's a symbiotic thing. You may know this, but it's happening here right now. The wasp and the tarantula. The wasp goes flies under the tarantula between the two legs and stings it and paralyzes it on the genitalia. So it's like going like this. And then it's still alive. It's still alive.

[A]

It paralyzes the.

[B]

The tarantula, and then it attaches its egg under the tarantula, which then feeds off.

[A]

Well, I'm sure that's so uncool. And tarantula can't do anything right.

[B]

That's the top five funniest thing you've ever said on this podcast.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm describing nature and animals with a rude. It's so mean. So that paralyzed, the tarantula sticks its egg baby underneath, which feeds on the tarantula's abdomen. Then eventually they open up, the tarantula go in, they avoid vital organs to keep it alive, and they feed on everything else that's in the abdomen. And then the baby is happy and flies away. And then they take the tarantula, which is now not existing, and they bury it. And this happens a thousand times a day, one all over the valley.

[A]

Yeah, you'd think they'd at least donate the organs. I mean, if they're gonna be. If they're gonna redeem themselves in any way, shape, or form.

[B]

Well, that's like the movie Alien. That's where the idea came from. On the movie Alien, they plant. They plant the you and the inside the guy, and then it bursts out the stomach if you remember the movie.

[A]

Smart. I do, yeah.

[B]

I just want to settle one piece of business because people have kept asking. I know it's after the fact, why wasn't I at the Taylor Swift Travis Kelsey wedding? You know, they're asking why. Why weren't you there? Why didn't you go? Well, it's because I wasn't invited and I don't know the bride or groom and. So that settles that combo. That just puts it to sleep.

[A]

But would your. Hey, hair been ready? Could you have gotten it together?

[B]

I mean, this hair, you.

[A]

Last week you said you were going for a summer cut.

[B]

Well, the summer cut happens on Saturday.

[A]

It hasn't happened yet.

[B]

No, I just kind of matted it down, fluffed it back, and did what I could. This is what I got.

[A]

I wake up and balance it in the morning and then I walk out. I mean, there's nothing going on.

[B]

Why is it short on one side and more. More swooped on the other?

[A]

And then today I put a hat on. I put this new dog.

[B]

Can we see? Okay.

[A]

It's pretty cool. But it made it so black in the background because we haven't tweaked it. I said, our audience doesn't deserve that. They need.

[B]

No need.

[A]

Authenticity.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So one side. And the buzz cut is over here. But I don't mind who.

[B]

But who does the buzz cutting? Is that a barber or is it you? You do it.

[A]

No, I have a young lady comes over here and she's a hair cutter.

[B]

Okay. You know, and so she thinks that looks good to buzz cut it on your temple. I'm not criticism, but I mean, she thinks it looks good.

[A]

I said, I saw it on some prisoner and I thought it looked good. So I'm. I want to be a hot felon. Look what happened to him.

[B]

There is a part of society, for some reason, that certain women fall in love with a guy on death row. They just can't get enough of the guy on death row. I don't know what it is. That's a Heather or Greg question.

[A]

I'll tell you, this is a little deep, but some guys, some women say, oh, I want the bad boys. And it's very surfacey, give me a bad way. Nice guys don't do it for me. And then they're there later and they're like, I was in a horrible relationship and he's a horrible person and it's time to take care of myself. And I'm like, that was a bad boy that you ordered off the menu. You got it now you have a stomachache, right? Sort of.

[B]

Can they find a nice guy physically attractive? That's.

[A]

That's the question. Guys are gross. I get it. They give me the ick.

[B]

Yeah. Can you be a nice guy with a bit of bad boy hidden inside?

[A]

Yeah. I have my own problems, sure. I'm not. I am pretty nice, though, I have to say. You're a very nice guy. You're known. You might be known as a hair nice to me, but I'm known as nice. That's the biggest shocker, because George Siegel, people would say when they'd see him, they go, that's fate. He's got to be a dick because I'm so rude on all these shows.

[B]

All right. They don't know. They don't know the real you. Yeah.

[A]

Because you play chaser on literally every show movie. And he goes, the big story is that he's nice, and no one wants to hear it.

[B]

No one wants to hear it. I know whenever I bring friends backstage, go. They go, david Spade's really nice. What a nice guy. I go, well, that's just a thing he played on a sitcom just because he's in a movie. Were you mean to Chris Farley and Tommy Boy? Sarcastic, but not me.

[A]

Yeah, we. When we would. The old days, I was even meaner in movies like pcu. I was like, basically just like a white supremacist. They're like, I didn't even look at the part like that. Then later, I'm looking back on, what am I? Why didn't even take that part. I'm always like, the bad guy. And Sandler told me once, quit playing the bad guy. Play the good guy. Then everyone will like you. I'm like, that's pretty.

[B]

That's like, too many easy secrets to success. There's too many easy things in show business that go right by everybody, and that's one of them. Well, maybe I should play a nice guy so people like me and want to see my movie. Summer, what do you think about summer coming up?

[A]

Sneaks up on me.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

It is coming up. I'm trying to juggle plans, juggle meals and enjoy the weather. Instacart's made that easier. I can sit outside, build my car with everything I need for the week, not have to step away from what I'm doing.

[B]

I've been leaning on delivery through Instacart for meal prep, especially David. Like getting fresh veggies, proteins, even those perfectly ripe avocado. I set my preferences once, and it's so seamless. It saves me a lot of time and makes sure I'm getting all the quality I want. And the convenience is huge.

[A]

You know, when I'm busy or just don't feel like making a store run, I can order in the morning and have everything ready for the same day and sometimes in as fast as 30 minutes. It just fits into my schedule instead of the other way around. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get

[B]

groceries how you like and do it instantly.

[A]

What if everything you learned in history

[B]

class was only half the story?

[A]

I'm Dr. Haruni Bhatt, host of Hidden History. Every Monday I go where history gets mysterious Vanished civilizations, doomsday prophecies, paranormal phenomena and events that science still can't fully explain. On Hidden History. I treat these moments like open case files. Not myths, not superstition, just incomplete explanations waiting for a closer look. Listen to and follow Hidden History available now, wherever you get your podcasts Comedy royalty Kate McKinnon returns as Queen Mortuana and Heads Will Roll. Heir Apparent, the highly anticipated sequel to Audible's fan favorite original comedy series. She's flanked once more by co star Emily Lynn and a new star studded ensemble including Richard Kind, Lori Metcalf, Jimmy Fallon, Megan Mully, Sam Richardson and Carrie Coon, plus an extensive cast of comedy greats. Seriously extensive. This is wall to wall comedy at the highest level. When we last left our gloriously unhinged Queen and her raven sidekick Jojo, the unlikely besties had fled to the woods for a simpler life. Well, it did not last. Queen Mo is back on the throne, an heir apparent and facing her greatest challeng produce an heir before her 40th birthday or lose everything and spend eternity as keeper of the Menstrual.

[B]

It's a very sticky sitch. Meanwhile, JoJo's botched wing enhancement surgery turns her into a toad, leading to unexpected interspecies romance and a choice between royal duty and normal life. With her throne on the line, Mo and JoJo embark on an increasingly unhinged scheme to secure succession. Part medieval mayhem, part razor sharp social commentary, Heads Will Roll Heir Apparent is fantasy comedy for the ages. It has everything trad wives, polycules, Sasquatch, mercenaries, milk people, toad on mole romance, a child named Barbara. Seriously, everything.

[A]

David, when was the last time you heard of a child named Barbara? Well, don't miss a moment of Kate McKinnon and the killer cast and heads Will roll heir apparent, Seed a child or cede the throne. Listen to Heads Will roll Heir apparent, available now on audible. Go to audible.com headsville rollseries to start listening today. Well, the problem with comedy is, Dana, in movies, you know this as well as anyone. There's. When they're hiring people, Sandler can kind of get his pick of the letter for all comedy parts, all types, and all drama. There's really no drama. I think they would say no to sound. They'd say that.

[B]

No, no, no. That's an idea.

[A]

It's a conversation at minimum.

[B]

Yeah. After uncut gems is game over.

[A]

He can do just doing another one that I've heard about I shouldn't talk about, but it's. It sounds so cool. So he gets those and he gets to do other stuff. Now, if you're a regular comedian and people say, why don't you do other types of comedy? I'm in a pie chart this big. That's like sarcastic comedy. So once you're on SNL trying to show you have any angle. Do you have any game? Dennis Miller, you got any chop?

[B]

What do you got any chop?

[A]

And you show what do you got? You got nothing. So you get an angle, and then you spend the rest of your career trying to get away from that. So mine was sarcastic Hollywood minute, that kind of stuff. And then when you do a movie, they go, plug him in that. You go, could I be that romantically? No, no, no, no. This is your thin part of the pie chart you can do. We get Owen Wilson for that. We'll get Vince Vaughn for this. But.

[B]

And you.

[A]

There's all these comics that do different things, and you wonder why they all play kind of the same thing. Because if you don't get other offers and you have to keep working, you go, I'll do the best with that and make it my best.

[B]

Yeah. It's just human nature. If they don't see it, then they don't think you can do it. They have to see it. Like, a lot of people probably wouldn't have given Sandler uncut gems, except the Safdie brothers kind of figured it out because he'd done a Paul Thomas Anderson movie, and now. Now they'll give him any dramatic, dramatic thing. I had to think for myself because I think I was highly passive aggressive. I grew up in a very rough child, as you recall, your sweetheart. Adolescence was something to dream about. But my characters besides Garth were kind of aggressive. Church lady was sarcastic and aggressive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hans and Franz would threaten to literally go to people's homes and hurt them for doubting their muscular. But Garth, which was based on my brother Brad, people ask about him. I go, I want to be Garth. It's like the nicest character I've ever played.

[A]

And it paid off. I was the nicest in Show Dirt. And that's when people.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

You can be a nice person. It's like being bullied and trying to just be a good person. And that paid off in that way because it was just a different move. But that was sort of. I got to write it. And Adam helped put it up. He said, I think this is weird enough. I think it'll work. And he's usually got those good hunches. So that. And then. I've not had a girlfriend to like the wrong missy. I mean, I have never been married in a movie forever.

[B]

And didn't you have a love interest with a dog or something? That was kind of a romantic comedy.

[A]

I chased the girl, so it was like I was dating, like, looking for a real.

[B]

But I. What was the name of that.

[A]

That was Lost and Found.

[B]

Oh, I thought that was the name of your last special, Inception.

[A]

No. Chris Nolan should have met. Let me play Helen of Troy.

[B]

What is it? What's with the Odyssey controversy? It's not out yet as of our taping.

[A]

You haven't seen it yet, have you? It's not out yet.

[B]

No, I haven't seen it. You know, I'll always see a Christopher Nolan movie because it's gonna be. Something's gonna be very good about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think what happened is there's new guidelines. This is what I read for Academy

[B]

Award when you have to be eligible, you need to do.

[A]

There's new guidelines and you have to stick to those.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or you can't even be considered. And something like the Odyssey would probably, no matter what, be sweeping some Oscar categories because it's Chris Nolan. So he. I think he's playing by the rules, what the rules are. And I don't know them all perfectly, but.

[B]

Well, to me, I mean, if you look at. Gladiator was kind of in that time, but really more like this because there's goblins and monsters and witches. The all time great movie of this genre by far is Jason and the Argonauts. So Jason, the Argonauts with Ray Harryhausen, did the big metal man on the island and the. The.

[A]

You mean when we were kids?

[B]

Yeah, we were kids. That is still an epic classic movie of like sword fighters and Hercules in that era. And I know that Christopher Nolan referenced it as kind of. That is not. The Odyssey is a more serious kind of film, but that was still the greatest of that genre. I doubt Odyssey could equal it. Maybe it could because of Christopher Nolan,

[A]

Jason and the Argonauts. That's what was called, right, Jason.

[B]

The Argonauts.

[A]

And it was like very like jerky. But they had all these special effects, which is pretty cool back then, right?

[B]

Well, it's actual practical effect that they're moving in my new shape. And so it's actually creepier and scarier. They still have not defeated a three dimensional physical thing in the frame that you shoot. CGI is still not quite there. If you look at the models in 2001, their models, if you look at the. The creatures, the way that it would move, it was just creepier and weirder.

[A]

Three dimensional.

[B]

I would just tell people, look at. Look, look it up, Jason. The Argonauts, before they see the Odyssey. Contrast and Compare.

[A]

I like 3D hasn't been defeated. I like the way you worded that.

[B]

No. A practical model. A practical physical model instead of just computer generated.

[A]

If we took a poll in the comments, you do seem smarter than me and it would be probably 100%.

[B]

Well, this is funny because I'm actually. I just got. It's AI just got our latest 20 minute review of this podcast.

[A]

How's it going?

[B]

This is what AI said.

[A]

AI just does. APPLAUSE well, that's good.

[B]

Well, it's just telling me to press that button. That's nice.

[A]

And then it says, you press this button and this is the answer you

[B]

will get the first five minutes. Was the review. Was this.

[A]

Is that a clap or water?

[B]

I think it's water, but it sounds kind of like a clap. That was after your first story about the houses.

[A]

Here's yours, Foghorn.

[B]

I think we should always have our places set up and then we're just going about our life. Maybe we're at a restaurant having breakfast and we just get a call and it's almost like Superman. We have to just sprint through the neighborhood or drive and start doing the podcast. We should never. Any advance warning.

[A]

I just saw today. Jason. No, in the Argonauts screwed me up with that. Yeah. Michael Strahan starting a podcast and a podcast company. And there's about seven other ones that are. I'm like, we were here at the very, very beginning when there was only 3 million.

[B]

I actually think it was like 1.8 million when we started because I remember we talked about it and when it was a million podcast casts. It's nothing. No reason to get in. Million. Five million eight. Well, maybe we could think about it. But now it is like five, probably. It's literally like getting in America today

[A]

after all this time, and then you'll probably still make money. So we got in. We thought it was too late. Now it's really too late. And then in five years, it'll be really, really. But people are doing it every day, and some poke ahead, some pull back, some collapse. They say most of them collapse after, I think, average seven episodes. Episodes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think harder than it seems. It's harder to do.

[B]

Well, and also then. Yeah. If you go to all this work and you look and you realize your mother is the only one listening, there's one person, and mom liked it. Yeah.

[A]

Luckily, we get millions and millions. But I ran into someone from Smartless. Who was it? Sean Hayes. We laughed because we'd done Smartless, and then you had done Smart with him. So we were talking pod.

[B]

Wow. Did he have any insights? That guy knows a lot about podcasting.

[A]

Funny. I mean, Arnett and Jason. Jason Payman. I just saw in this Netflix movie over the break. He was good. And of course, I like those guys. And they're all funny in their own way. So I kind of get. Obviously, I'm sickened with jealousy, but I. I do get why it works. They're. They're all good. And. And it's an interesting thing that started during COVID They were smart. Whatever happened, I don't even know if they were smart. They were just like, let's just do this. And then it. Those are. Sometimes things happen like that and they blow up.

[B]

Yeah, they're good. They're good.

[A]

Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Oh, I got a story for you. Ready?

[B]

All right.

[A]

Is the guy's name. Who's the guy? This isn't even a funny. No. I can't even tell.

[B]

It doesn't have to be funny. We could be real.

[A]

This is just.

[B]

I don't know what George W. Bush is saying about that.

[A]

George W. Bush gets his own goddang.

[B]

Yeah, tell the story. Come on. Come on, man. Tell story. We like to attack people.

[A]

They should make him smiling and laughing

[B]

because, well, I've got all kinds of these freaking.

[A]

Yeah. What the. You think I am? What do you think I'm a joke?

[B]

What are you talking about here? This just random. Didn't try to put them together. They just came out.

[A]

Oh, this reminds me of something for you to do. Obama ready? That. I thought it was interesting. Not bad or good.

[B]

What'd you find interesting?

[A]

Okay. That Larry David. Larry David goes from doing Seinfeld, the greatest show.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Arguably. To Curb, which is arguably one of

[B]

the next good shows. Good show, never know what's going to happen.

[A]

Larry's funny and I thought he's retired, but he teamed up with, of all comedic people, Obama.

[B]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Larry did a show for us for a Miracle Productions, whatever it's called.

[A]

Yeah, but Mr. Obama, Mr. Ex President. Are you. Do you know a lot about comedy? I mean. Yeah, go ahead, state your case. How did this start?

[B]

Well, Michelle and I always wanted to be funny. We like Saturday Night Live and David. We even like some of your stuff. Hollywood Minute was kind of mean, but damn funny. I'm kind of glad I wasn't around at the time you were doing it. You might have stunned me. What kind of joke would you have said about me if you had Hollywood Minute today?

[A]

Don't put it back on me. Well, I remember a good one I had about MC Hammer where I said, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. It's over. That's when he was at the tail end of his career. All right, well, I wouldn't do that to you, Barack.

[B]

I'm not an expert comedy, but that sounded kind of funny. But Larry David's kind of doing revolutionary people from America. And they were different wigs. And the funny part is it's not the actual guy. It's a guy in a wig. You might think it's somebody else, but it's not. And Michelle and I will laugh, laugh and laugh until we can't laugh no more. We laugh all we can.

[A]

Obama's notes are like walking going, maybe something with bears.

[B]

It's a funny thing.

[A]

Bears are funny.

[B]

Somebody comes in a room, doesn't know what's going on, they go, what's going on? People don't know what's going on. And they're before they know what's going on. That's the magic of comedy. That's what you do. What this podcast lacks is what Larry David has.

[A]

Yeah. Wait, Funny. Oh, he's fading out. That was a good one to fade out on.

[B]

I know. That should have been a three hour interview.

[A]

No, but Jerry is also doing his own show with J.D. vance.

[B]

Jerry Seinfeld. No. Okay.

[A]

Vance is producing his.

[B]

I can't believe what JD's doing. We are not doing the right jokes.

[A]

He's got good pitches.

[B]

Hey, do something. Jimmy Fallon. How about.

[A]

Okay, so remember that kid, Brian Johnson? He is keeping Himself. Young Heather. You know this story, right?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. This guy was doing all this genetic stuff, and he wants to live to 160. Yeah.

[A]

Right. So this sounds rude, but he has some sort of incurable stomach condition. So I. That's why I wasn't going to bring it up. But I think the. The part I'm trying to focus on is if you're at the doctor all the time, some fucking blind spot. He. He hadn't been sh. It had been about going about 11 years, whatever he had, and they found it. But you're getting checked every which way but loose to make sure everything's working perfectly, and then adding to that and then making that stronger. And every. In some blind spot, we could look it up, but there was something he had in his stomach, and if he's had it for this long, it feels like he's in good enough shape where he could possibly beat it.

[B]

Well, if something chronic, if it. If it's life threatening, but if it's

[A]

just chronic, you know, curable, that isn't cancer, you know.

[B]

Well, you know, the. The thing is, until it now just do Obama the whole time, until AI figures a lot of things out. Genetics is strong. So this is like a. This is what my cardiologists would always tell me. This man, he was from India, PK Shock, Great friend. This man comes to the doctor and he says, I want to. I don't know what I should do. I want to live a long time. And the doctor says, what about your parents? And he says, my parents both died when they were 40. The doctor said, do whatever you want. Smoke, drink. It's like

[A]

till 40.

[B]

Well, the genetics are so strong. I forgot the joke. I messed it up. I'm sorry. I got to give myself a bad review.

[A]

Yeah, that little thing I don't like because I can't figure it out, but

[B]

basically the idea is you can do everything perfect.

[A]

Jesus. Still going on.

[B]

It won't stop.

[A]

What a burn. What is that, people?

[B]

This is AI, since that's what our podcast sounds like. The point is, is that there were identical twins. Two women. One smoked, drank, partied, eight. Boom. The other was perfect water. They both died at 92, two weeks apart because they had the same genealogy.

[A]

So they're gonna have to beat that soon. That's the next thing. But I felt bad for this guy. I think. I think if I remember the quote was, the stomach was eating itself. Whatever that meant.

[B]

The lining of his stomach, maybe. Yeah.

[A]

So what a bummer, because, you know, it's not Worse or better than anyone else out there, trying to keep going. But that he was putting so much effort.

[B]

Well, he was making it his whole existence, right.

[A]

Blood transfusions and his whole identity was. And he ran with it also. Here's it. But on a lighter note, here's my impression of. Did you know that the World cup is still going on? It's all summer. I didn't know.

[B]

So, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And usa, in case anyone taped it,

[B]

we don't give it away. If you taped it, it'll be. It was last week.

[A]

But remember when they play BL and her and Ganzia.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They played two countries at once and they, they beat him also. That was that joke. And then also, oh, here's the guy on the goal. Like this. You know, they line up to block the kicker on a penalty. And the trick is you want to take it right in the noggin because you want to block it. So they all jump at the same time.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And so I saw it's, it's cool because they're all like this, oh, please hit me. And then, and then the ball goes around him. And then when they do a slow motion, the guy goes up and he

[B]

goes, please don't hear me any land. Oh, I tried my best. Do you understand soccer at all?

[A]

I got that part. No, I know that one team's trying to get a higher. Yeah, but I, I, I even finally got enough tour when they were on the side in that last USA game where they really laid down and took it. But the guy kicks it over to the middle and there's one guy that just kicks it right in. I'm like, it shouldn't be that easy.

[B]

And it's not usually it just, and they missed, and they missed an hour, two hours in, and this, the game is scoreless, but when they, when Messi hits it, it kind of winds around coming down right in front of the net. And then his guy's right there and just goes dink right in. That's pretty cool. I, I, I appreciate the athleticism and of sprinting and kicking and then getting it and but as a, an American, you have to get past the idea, pick up the ball.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Or block it with your arm. I think there should be more bicycle kicks. Is it my imagination there's less bicycle kicks?

[B]

Those are cool. Or when the guy just goes inverted, goes upside down and kicks it.

[A]

You know, I think that's kind of a bicycle. It's kind of the same thing. Bobby. My guy goes on road with me and Writes with me, Bobby Miyamoto. He has a scar because he played all the way into college and he ended his career in a bicycle kick because he landed on his shoulder.

[B]

Oh, because you're. Yeah.

[A]

Never quite got that shimmy back.

[B]

Yeah, that'll do it.

[A]

That killed an audition.

[B]

Compression don't go well together.

[A]

God. I'm okay with six Mike's shirt today. It's good color.

[B]

This is the best you've ever looked in the podcast. Ironically.

[A]

I love it. I launched, I just came. I ran from Jersey. Mike's.

[B]

Yeah. You were like Dustin Hoffman and the Graduate. You know, running down the street to get to the chick in the chapel. Okay.

[A]

Oh, wait, I got two things. I know we're doing five hour buzzing around, but I want to hear about. That's right. I have nothing. Let's hear your first story about the name game. Big event on the farm. Almost forgot.

[B]

Right. We have a baby horse.

[A]

Is it called. Is it called a loaf or a foal or a coal or something?

[B]

I'm not sure. I call it the Little Feller.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, little feller.

[B]

There's a mare and a fish. Foul and a foal. Yeah, but a foul. Yeah.

[A]

Right. No, you said it came out.

[B]

Yeah, there was.

[A]

Helped it out.

[B]

Yeah. Well, our caretaker Jose, who's. It's technically his horses, but they live with us, so we're proprietary about them. But now the baby horse at this point is like six or seven days old and is galloping all. All over the past year. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And we were putting in a new fence and the, the three horses got a jailbreak like 5:30am they got through the other little fence and they're just running around the property down by Chili's.

[A]

They found.

[B]

Yeah, they're. They're on the 101 asking where's David Spade's house? Go to Hollywood. But that has not been named.

[A]

I liked your possible name.

[B]

Possible name was suggested that because in the early days the baby was weak, wasn't getting food, but it was trying to get a stand up and it would do these prat falls over and over again. So possibly floating around is naming the baby horse Charlie Chaplin.

[A]

I don't mind that because it would turn into Charlie, which is a cute

[B]

name or Chucky or Chuck Chaz.

[A]

Also, I saw that you put out on Twitter what should we name it? Really cute picture of the horse and I liked Whitney's was Whitney Cummings. Said Dusty. That wasn't bad.

[B]

Well, someone said David Spade. And I said, we think alike. I said, but there's 300 horses named David Spade.

[A]

Yeah. There's so many.

[B]

So many people have named either Joe Dirt or David Spade.

[A]

Spudly.

[B]

That's nice. So, Whitney. Oh, yeah.

[A]

We're jumping in, and I. I heard a couple good ones, but I do like Charlie Chaplin.

[B]

I just like horses. I didn't really understand, you know, how kind of magical they are. You know, they don't have a higher consciousness, you understand? You know, they're just pure. They're not, like, worried about how they look and stuff.

[A]

I did see an actual baby, Not a horse baby, but. Mm. And they put it up to the horse, and this horse is just letting the baby pet it. And I think they just know this isn't the bad guy, so they let the baby do whatever. And the baby was, like, giggling. It's very cute.

[B]

Well, the baby and the horse and the mama horse are just like this, pretty much.

[A]

Oh, that's. Yeah.

[B]

Just follows it just. Yeah. And is. The other horse that's in the pasture is sort of a loner now. She's been kind of ostracized. Rojo is her name. So we kind of make sure. Because the other one's proprietary about resources, we go up the fence to feed them. She gets upset if Rojo gets her. So I. I'm feeding McGrosa, and then Paula's feeding Rojo.

[A]

I guess we didn't have a contest to name them.

[B]

Christ sakes. That's a gross.

[A]

Is not a detective show from the 70s.

[B]

No Agrosa on abc right after the Love Boat.

[A]

Magruder and loud.

[B]

Give a comedian a name, and you got, like, two minutes of right back to the 70s. TV shows are always good, man. All new McGrosa. Yeah, they're really fun. They're. They're uppers. They're, you know. You know, they're cool. Yeah. Thanks.

[A]

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[B]

Best of all, you will know if unexpected motion is detected, and you don't want that. Can arm your security system from anywhere. Right in the Ring app with Ring alarm. Subscription required, so. Oh, yeah, that's Pretty cool.

[A]

I, dude, I have ring. It's like all over the place because I like to zoom in. I like this, I like that. When I see a video online and they show a ring, I go, it better be rings. I want them to push in, push out, move around and that's, that's the stuff that matters. Especially if anything goes down, right? You want to be able to go, okay, who was it? Where was it? What are they driving? What are they doing?

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

All right now, before we get back, we have a message from Ashley the Mosquito about Orkin. Hey, besties. Hope all of you are high key. So excited for summer. It's literally giving all of us mosquitoes life. So we thought we'd help everybody make the most of it before Orkin pros try to ruin our fun. Remember, if you have standing water on your lawn from the pool or the sprinkler, just let it sit there. The more the merrier. When there's standing water, there'll be more mosquitoes. Plenty more. Next up is a bit of a hot take, but we're so hyped on it. Let mosquitoes inside. What could go wrong? Just let us inside, please. Thanks. Love you.

[B]

Finally, the number one rule this summer is do not under any circumstances speak to anybody from Orkin. That is literally so cringe it will ruin the vibe of any get together we might be having. Take it from a mosquito. Orkin pros know literally everything about us, period. Don't visit orkin.com for a free estimate today. This was. Now let's go suck some blood. Now let's go suck some blood. Number one with a blood bullet.

[A]

Now it's time for buzzing around. Applause.

[B]

Applause. But sometimes we'll text a little bit and you'll Suggest. And I. I have an idea. But literally right now, I have no idea in my head at all.

[A]

We will cobble one together. Sponsored by 5R Energies Fireworks. Freeze flavor, ignite your taste buds. I know you're getting more nervous with a red, white, blue freezer pop classic reimagined as a delicious Firework Freeze 5 our energy shot. Fine. Firework Freeze shots online at Fiverr energy.com or Amazon today. Okay, so that.

[B]

That's that.

[A]

That, and I'm gonna go back to you. And now let me see. What are my. What are some.

[B]

Some of my puppets.

[A]

Oh, maybe.

[B]

Alfred Hitchcock.

[A]

Anyone a little younger?

[B]

I know they're all ancient. Well, I do have. Yeah, I have different ones.

[A]

Okay, maybe we have Trump kind of talking about the latest crisis dealing with the used car dealership guys in Iran.

[B]

Okay, bro, bro.

[A]

We don't have a deal yet, bro. Okay, Trump and Iran. And then maybe you could throw in Trump and Iran just like him talking about Iran. Because as of press time, right now, the deal's off.

[B]

Deal's off.

[A]

Maybe just do Trump this time.

[B]

I'll start out with this.

[A]

Well, maybe you can throw in

[B]

president, two other presidents.

[A]

Oh. Oh, you got. Oh. He says, Charles Barkley, Stallone and Obama playing golf. That's terrible.

[B]

That's terrible.

[A]

This is terrible. Terrible. He was at the wedding. Barkley. Because he played golf.

[B]

I don't know what he doing about with this. I don't. Come on, Come on. You got a case of the yips. No, get them up. The yips. The Y. Remember that? The yips. They got the yips.

[A]

The Yips is a great band from the 70s.

[B]

The deal's off. I'll tell you. I'll tell you this. The deal's off. You were nice. You went nice. First you were nice. Now you're not nice. You got cute. You got cute. If you weren't cute, nothing would happen, but you got cute. So. But a drum or puppet up or to the head,

[A]

where did don't get cute go? That's a great.

[B]

That was what he said once about them. If they get cute, you know, they get cute. We'll drop a bomb right in the head, you know?

[A]

But you don't get cute.

[B]

Don't get cute.

[A]

Don't get smart. Don't get cute. I'm like, those are the two things I want to be cute and smart.

[B]

Okay, let's do this while do Greg's. Charles, Barclay, Sylvester, Don Obama playing golf. We'll do a quick one of that again. Oh, damn, I missed it. Oh, that was just terrible. That was terrible. That's all I got is the one

[A]

word from terrible is so funny.

[B]

That's a terrible golf shot. Terrible. Sloan, what do you think? You know. You know, you brought your head up. You know, you got to keep your head down. You know I'm talking about idiot. Well, I don't. This putt's gonna hoist your appointment. We got a guest. He's gonna wait.

[A]

Appointment? You're not allowed in the gym.

[B]

No one. Don't give yourself an an. So everything's gonna hurt you permanently. I'm interviewing. You know. What do you mean when you say it's gonna hurt your perfect permanently? What are you talking about every time?

[A]

Because he's gonna fight Mr. T and he's gonna hit him so hard, it's gonna hurt him permanent.

[B]

Well, I'm taking. I'm taking a page from David's face. We're gonna hurt him permanently if they don't get their act together. We know how to hurt it. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it.

[A]

Great. All right. That's good.

[B]

That was one of the greatest.

[A]

That's one of the greats that was buzzing around, if you didn't know. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor. The iconic red, white, blue freezer Pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark a taste.

[B]

That's nice.

[A]

The firework freeze. Five hour energy. Yeah, keep going. Available online at fivearenergy.com and Amazon.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. We gotta get Barkley on. I sort of knew Barkley in the old days. You know, we got Luke Wilson coming on, so that'll be really fun.

[B]

That's awesome. Yeah, Barkley would be great. He hosted snl.

[A]

Actually, I was there when he hosted one of them. I mean, if.

[B]

I think I signed the books, I think somehow I was coming through that show, but I wasn't on the show. I don't know.

[A]

I know we did Gap girls and he was. We made him a girl. A Gap girl with long braids that I met the Gap. And I'd say, oh, we all played. There was a slumber party. We played Spin the Bottle and I wound up making out with a chick. And then I go, oh, my God, she's here. And it was Barkley as a girl. Oh, hey, it's. Don't let's not be weird about that.

[B]

The crowd went crazy.

[A]

Crazy. Okay. And Stallone.

[B]

I'd like to get on Stallone's awesome. I was just actually watched Cliffhanger in The last week where he's. He's up on the mountain. Hey, hang on to the rope.

[A]

Hang on.

[B]

Hanging. Hey, you better hang on the rope. You're gonna drop you down there.

[A]

Look at me when I'm doing with the frame.

[B]

I'm hanging. Oh, it's like this. And John Lithgow was the bad guy. Was amazing.

[A]

So I think I like. I. Over the top is where it got a little itchy when he was the under the char. The, you know, arm wrestler that was.

[B]

Oh, that, that. Yeah. He was the professional arm wrestler trying to wrestle with.

[A]

And there's always stakes the money to buy a new truck because I got. My kid is deaf or something.

[B]

Sloan's movies are just nice and clear, easily to digestible. That's what's fun about them, you know? Yeah, I gotta win this tournament. And my kid going to get an operation.

[A]

Gonna get a cochlear ear implant.

[B]

Oclear.

[A]

Cochlear.

[B]

Cochlear. All right.

[A]

And the kid looks over and he goes. Kid goes. I don't know. Did you win? I didn't hear the thumb. I don't know. I can't hear the crowd. And he goes. The kid goes. Yay. Turn it up.

[B]

It's. I. I would. I would have been terrible at that.

[A]

You like that noise? It's for a ufo.

[B]

That is good. I guess they're threatening to come out and tell us something. But I haven't heard anything.

[A]

I've heard those.

[B]

The government, they keep saying that.

[A]

I wouldn't. I would. I'm still scared of UFOs even though I look at them all the time. Okay, so now what is this? Night Gallery?

[B]

No one does good. Aphrodite bad. Alfred Hitchcock. What you've seen on this podcast is a terrible, terrible affront to humanity. Worse than murder. Worse than any crime you could ever. That's right. I'm talking to you, David Spade. Or should I say Joe Dirt? Sounds like Michael Caine. I don't know. Alfred Iscock was famous back in the 1960s. He directed Psycho. So don't write us letters.

[A]

Oh, we better do a couple news stories. We're getting late in the game.

[B]

Oh, oh, news store. I thought. Okay, we over.

[A]

We're almost done. Let's just see. Okay. Schools had to remove analog clocks because teens couldn't tell time. I kind of believe this.

[B]

Yeah, that would make sense. Their whole life it's just been digital on their phone.

[A]

They don't know cursive. I was joking the other night that the. The super bowl has to get rid of Roman numerals because no one knows what that. You know, kids don't know real numbers. They don't know clocks. You think they know what they're like? Mcx, Charlie, they don't know anything. I go, rome. They don't use them in Rome. I mean, guys, it's over. It's over.

[B]

Yeah, let's let go of that particular motif of history. All right. Yeah, don't do the. Don't do the numbers in Apache.

[A]

All right, so super bowl is the only one still clinging on to the Roman numeral traditions. All right, babe, next story.

[B]

That was a good one.

[A]

That was good.

[B]

See?

[A]

Dumb kid story. I like it. All right, this is.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

I can't read that. If you.

[B]

If you do this, please let me know.

[A]

This is a wedding. I would walk faster if I was full on.

[B]

Well, isn't that cgi?

[A]

Are they stuntmen or something? Stunt men get married. I'm guarantee it. But still, that was too long to. I like his. That's.

[B]

That's a good look.

[A]

I mean, even if I thought, first of all, they just got accented on fire, but you're not hustling enough. And even if you're a stuntman, I'd sort of go, did we get it? We got the picture. Put me out.

[B]

It was always kind of interesting. You're on a movie set, someone's going to get lit on fire.

[A]

That's so true.

[B]

There was a lot of rules. There was some tension, you know, and

[A]

you say, the stuntman, you ready? You walk up because you're an actor and they have to talk to you.

[B]

You ready?

[A]

And they're like, huh? Yeah, get out of my way, dude. And you're like, yeah, I wouldn't do it.

[B]

I once was talking to my stunt double, and he was about to take a car hit, and I'm just standing next to him. Like, I'd do it, you know, but insurance, you know, I'm over there like

[A]

Ms. Pris going, can you walk down the stairs for me after this?

[B]

You have high heels on for no reason.

[A]

I had to do a. In the wrong messy. I had to do a handstand. I think when I'm with this girl, I get nervous. I show her I can do a handstand and I actually walk and I hit a window and flop out and drop two stories. And the guy had to do it. I had to do a handstand, and then the guy had to walk and then fall out the window. And he did it like a champ. And then Racked up so many views on Tick tock. Don't add up to monetary money, but no, but some.

[B]

A little bit. You get a taste.

[A]

Do one more. God, we really. We really bs and then the news gets. Gets pushed.

[B]

I know the clips that we have extra for next week.

[A]

All right, let's see what this is. Oh, I like this. So a guy comes in a bar. Let's play it again. Start from the top. The guy comes in a bar and he's being an okay. And so the bouncer says, stop. The guy goes, don't. Don't touch me. And the bouncer doesn't give a. And then he says, oh, you're close. And why are you.

[B]

Why are you touching. I'm not touching you, Mr. Bald Man. Why are you touching me? You.

[A]

First of all, that's.

[B]

You cannot call me bald. But you are bald, Mr. Clean.

[A]

So I would. It's nice though. I was trying to order food.

[B]

Why are you touching me? I'm not touching you want to get folded like a lawn chair right now. What?

[A]

I do Jiu Jitsu. Yes, I do. You do?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Watch this move. Keep touching me.

[B]

Keep touching me. So far I'm very intrigued.

[A]

Show me.

[B]

Oh, no, my boy, you're in trouble. The confidence. My man walked up with that after he threatened him. That was way too calm of a reaction. Bruh.

[A]

Said, you know, Jisu bro had a

[B]

smile on his face like he been waiting for someone to try to play with him. And the cherry.

[A]

Look at him.

[B]

He shows a picture with the three picture.

[A]

It's of him. Watch it again.

[B]

Uninstall, homie.

[A]

He pulls out his phone and his screensavers him at a tournament with two other jiu jitsu guys with medals. And the guy talking to him goes,

[B]

oh, so here's my question. So there wasn't an actual fight. He was just intimidated.

[A]

He was like, oh, you want to fight me? Oh, Jiu Jitsu. Yeah, I love it. I love it so much. I teach it. And the guy was like, oh,

[B]

sure.

[A]

No, no, I stepped away.

[B]

You know, I was a bit rude because I, you know, damn thick. I at chili pepper a half hour ago and the nauseous working on my temper. Yeah, well, you've got to think of your thing. You would say, well, I'll do it to you. Hey, man. Hey, look at you shave temple. What's your problem, dude? Get me a table.

[A]

You know, shush issue. Do you have a shih tzu? Shih tzu, dog.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry, man.

[A]

You're too Picture my shih tzu dog.

[B]

Hey, I apologize.

[A]

I love me gets excited. The guy keeps freezing it.

[B]

Well, Mr. Clean, you want to get folded in half is pretty good.

[A]

I should have beat him up anyway just for saying that. Yeah, you don't call me Mr. Clean. You call me Mr. Dirt.

[B]

But I'm. If I'm ever threatened anywhere, sound, you'll know. Did you do.

[A]

What do you say?

[B]

I say, you know what?

[A]

And I go, you.

[B]

You know, Gesundheit. What you know? Gesundheit.

[A]

What you know, do you know at you. Oh, boy. Maybe we should end on that. 10 out of 10.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. That probably took. Bake the cake on this part.

[A]

Baked. Did that. Bake the cake? We should meet the listener that's still here at the last. No, this is where the gold is. The sloppy gold is at the end. Because we get a little sloppy.

[B]

Yeah, because we're. We're tired. We're a little more punchy. Not tired. Punchy.

[A]

I've been loading boxes all day.

[B]

Now you got to go back to

[A]

unpacking some kind of frying pan here, iron here. It's the only water I get all day.

[B]

At least you have good. Your little studio's pretty cool now.

[A]

Yeah, I got the studio, and we might do it in here one day. And we have a possible band coming on soon, and they wanted me, you, and them. And that's five in here. And I'm like, I don't know if we can fit company.

[B]

Oh, wow. Can't even fit five.

[A]

I think we could. We've never done five people total. Hmm. Who was the last one in the studio? Go. Was it Brendan Fraser?

[B]

Probably, like, maybe see Pressure, everybody. It's a really good movie. Or you can get it on live streaming. It's on streaming. Sorry.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's a very cool movie. It's great.

[A]

I think Busboys is going to one of these streamers in November. I'll tell you more later.

[B]

So first the theatrical lease, then whatever it's doing now, and then it'll officially have a home on a streamer.

[A]

Yes. Damn.

[B]

Monetize much?

[A]

And I'll tell you about something animated next week. But anyway, thank you for coming, Dana. Thanks for coming home. Sorry you had to do this in the other room at my new house.

[B]

No, I'm glad I was just somewhere. Someone tapped me on my shoulder and said, get in the room and do the podcast. Okay.

[A]

I think people are gonna ask for more horse videos. So next week, have something ready.

[B]

Oh, I'll do. I could do a ton.

[A]

A little clip. You know something if they, if they

[B]

want to see how the horse evolves. I mean, every 10 days is could be a different horse.

[A]

I think that horse, that picture of the two was so nice the other day. Gives you good vibes. So anything about the horse people like? It's nice vibes.

[B]

Well, yeah. It's the opposite of the crazy world we live in. It's just a sweet horse.

[A]

Go on. And do not get me started. Okay, buddy? Bye guys. Thank you.

[B]

Bye everybody. Thanks for coming.

[A]

I love Listen, if you're enjoying the Fly on the Wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that God dang button on your favorite podcast app. Leave a review, a good one. Leave a five star rating, nothing else.

[B]

Whoops.

[A]

And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think?

[B]

I'm going to tell you this right now? Human Al believe me later. Fly on the Wall, Believe it or not is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by, hold for it, Dana Carvey and David Spade or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil Sweet.