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David Spade
You know, Dana, I travel all the time and I just went to Arizona where it was 113 degrees.
Dana Carvey
I mean, for me. Recently had some of my Irish relatives visiting us and we wanted to get a. Ah, well, we could stay with you if you want, but we can stay wherever you want. So anyway, we got an Airbnb in the little town and it was spectacular. Blew their minds. I can't believe they've got a coffee maker.
David Spade
It was covered for the potatoes.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. And a place to sleep. I mean it was, it was an amazing home run. It just went up a small flight of stairs. It was like this apartment looked out over the town. It was gorgeous and they loved it.
David Spade
Yeah, you get what you want. You kind of just go through and pick and choose. Do I want a pool, do I want a big kitchen? You know, that's it. That's the experience you want. Especially when you're hosting other people like you were. Yeah. And when you, if you have a nice paddle, you can Airbnb it out. You can do the other way. You can have people come there. It's good way to make some extra cash. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much@airbnb.com host need contract help for those workload peaks and backlog projects. You're not alone. Robert half found that 67% of companies surveyed said they will increase their use of contract talent. That's why their recruiters leverage their experience and use award winning AI to quickly find the skilled candidates you want.
Dana Carvey
Learn about their specialized talent in finance, accounting, technology, marketing, legal and administrative support at Robert Half. They know talent. Visit roberthal.com talent today. Oh, we've always. We've never ended.
David Spade
Oh, sir, we've always.
Dana Carvey
Trust me. Yeah, this is.
David Spade
We don't really. We don't really shoot out of the cannon at the beginning. Yeah, but everyone knows. So I have a coat on. That's good. That's the first order business that everyone's psyched about. And then Dana might have a new something in the background.
Dana Carvey
People ask me sometimes, you know, off when we're not on. They say what. What's with what's Stuff in Spade's background? What's it about? And here's my reaction.
David Spade
I don't care. I don't even look at him. You think I'm looking at the background? Here's a good. That's a good one. Eye shut. Here's one.
Dana Carvey
Oh, you ever been. Been around a Karen? You know a Karen? Yeah. Or the elbows up and the one Eyes closed. Excuse me. Okay, we were here a half hour ago and I do not have a glass of chardonnay. All right.
David Spade
Karen's. Karen's the worst term I know.
Dana Carvey
What is it for men who are kind of dicks. Dick. A dick, or a Doug. Do we have a name of a guy? We don't have a Karen equivalent, do we?
David Spade
I. There's. There probably is. I haven't heard it because no one would dare call me because it would be Lights Out.
Dana Carvey
Never. I said this before, never do a TV show and call it Lights out. Because then when the lights go out, it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. Which was my favorite talk show, by the way.
David Spade
Right. We should have called it Lights Never Go Out. Yeah. If we do it again, we'll call it Lights On. And then you'll be like. And then they'll go, well, the lights out for Lights On.
Dana Carvey
Either that or just call it uncancellable. Welcome back to Uncancellable. If that's a word. Oh, it's a Ken. Someone says it's a Ken.
David Spade
A Ken.
Dana Carvey
Karen and Ken. And what are the characteristics of.
David Spade
I'm offended by both.
Dana Carvey
You get offended easily. No.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
You know, not. Not to be critical or judgmental, but you're easily. You're kind of like, you know, offended.
David Spade
By you criticizing me being offended.
Dana Carvey
I can't. I. Look, I've. I've flunked algebra in high school. I don't need these kinds of questions.
David Spade
Dude, everyone's been asking about my fantasy football draft.
Dana Carvey
All right, let me. I want to know because I want to see if I can possibly understand what that fayok you're talking about.
David Spade
It's the one where I thought it was two minutes between rounds, but it was eight hours.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
On DraftKings. And so I'm not done. I haven't seen you in a week. I'm not done. I'm not even close to done. I've made about 12 picks. It's so. I want to say interesting, but it's more infuriating because it nags at you. You're like, wait. And it doesn't alert you. So I just look on. It's like, oh, you're up in 21 picks. I go, oh, better hold tight. That could be six weeks from now. So sometimes it picks up a little bit. God, Heather's such a disaster. The whole place is falling apart.
Dana Carvey
Is Heather doing the dishes in the background?
David Spade
Heather's doing that? No, she's trying to stay awake during the story. She just fell out of her chair. Well, that's the story.
Dana Carvey
I'll play therapists on your fantasy football. David.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Do this fantasy for 12 pixels. Answer me this. What are. What. What are you getting out of this behavior? What do you think?
David Spade
My dad left me. God, you. You struck gold right away.
Dana Carvey
My dad left me is like, the answer to every question.
David Spade
Yeah. I think it's an escape. Fantasy football is a good escape from the chaos of all the stuff going on in the world.
Dana Carvey
Well, that's a great answer, and I totally get it. What? I. I didn't think of this phrase, and people ask me things that I do. Brain candy. Why'd you watch that show Brain Candy? Why'd you play guitar?
David Spade
Oh, it is. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Just. You got a chatterbox. The world's on fire. We're all gonna die. And then you go to brain candy. For you. It's like number 33 from the Chicago Bears. David Spade picks Flil. Fleknike.
David Spade
Yeah. And then he does badly, and it ruins my whole week.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. It's fake. It's drama that has.
David Spade
It can actually make you mad. And that's. It's like golf or something. Like, I golf, and then you can actually. I don't get quite as mad at golf as you would think when I screw up. But when. When I fantasy football, you get your buddies, and you guys all get in arguments.
Dana Carvey
It's. It's so ridiculous, I think, that ritualizing fun things and having your brain decide that it actually matters when it really doesn't. Like, my brother was so into the 49ers. When the 49ers would play, he'd build up a ritual shrine. I mean, the whole room was too much. And then he got a puppet of Joe Montana.
David Spade
Oh, boy.
Dana Carvey
And on Third and long, he would do kind of an Exorcist type thing. You go, the power of Joey compels you. The power of Joey compels you. Hut one. Hut. To the power. And he would throw it at the tv. Usually it would fly over the tv. And then if he throw the ball. Yeah. The power of Joey compels you. This little Joe Montana. And then if Joe scored a touchdown, he had a 49er football helmet full of beer. It was a special thing. And everyone had to take a drink. The beer. So I go, this is like a small life. This guy's making something pretty exciting.
David Spade
People do make sports a big deal. And it is fun. I do like football season. I will tell you not to change subjects, but I might have a solution to these ice raids. Everyone's mad about. Ready.
Dana Carvey
All right.
David Spade
It's a horrible solution.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
David Spade
Heather looks up.
Dana Carvey
All ears.
David Spade
Heather can't wait.
Dana Carvey
The solution to the ice raids. Go.
David Spade
Because. Because in California, it's a big deal. So they.
Dana Carvey
They.
David Spade
They've been coming around, and they take people. Yeah. And they put him in a van. You don't know for sure what's going on. So maybe if they just made one tweak. Instead of immigrants, they grab homeless people and then they throw them in the van, and we don't know where they took them, and then they're all gone. What? I mean, I don't know how many people would fight it.
Dana Carvey
It's like, oh, your words, not mine. Now your idea is to substitute illegal aliens for homeless people, and you never know where. Where they went. Your plan, Your words, not mine. Yeah, that's your plan.
David Spade
I. I plead the fifth.
Dana Carvey
I would say, you know, they talk about Epstein island, just homeless island, just. And have it be fantastic. Take an island out in the Pacific, make it beautiful, condos, everything. We have about 70,000 in California and just say, do you want to do it? Fantasy life cruise. You know, go out there.
David Spade
I mean, the billions they're paying or throwing away or not using. It's like you have all these billions and billions is a lot of money. So say we're going to rent all the Carnival cruise ships, and we're going to say, take everyone here. And then they have. Or take them out to Burning man and set up a whole cabinet. I don't know.
Dana Carvey
I used to do a Trump thing. They need ice. You got to have ice. They say the glaciers are melting. I know how to make ice. I can make a lot of ice. I'll take all the ice from the Trump Hotel. I'll put them on the Carnival cruise ship. They're friends of mine. I know these people are going, we make glaciers.
David Spade
So I snuck actual ice.
Dana Carvey
Actual ice. You can get all the ice from the Trump hotels. There's a lot of ice. I can tell you that. I can promise you that It's a tremendous amount of ice. You put it on the Carnival cruise ships. They go up to Antarctica and they make it make.
David Spade
Oh, they add it. Oh, it's not a bad idea.
Dana Carvey
You got a lot of questions for my bit.
David Spade
Well, we were just talking about the other ice. Great.
Dana Carvey
I'll put down my pit number. Jesus.
David Spade
Dana. We'd like to talk examine your bit.
Dana Carvey
I have a quick thing for us today. This was. This will dovetail so that the only way to solve the Epstein Thing is to have everybody go in and testify. Like anybody famous, they go in and testify. Now, Mr. Pitt, is that your real name? Yep. Have to your knowledge, your words? Not my words. Your nurse ever been on the Epstein island? Nope. And why do you say that? Because I was never on the island. All right, well, chair, I dismiss Mr. Pitt. That's a good plan.
David Spade
It's Brad Pitt.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Now my Next one is Mr. Schwarzenegger, were you ever on Epstein island? No. No, because I don't like islands. I only like land mass.
David Spade
No gym.
Dana Carvey
I like this. That he says, I prefer landmass. I like landmass. I don't like little girly islands. I like land mass. Well, all right, I hear you.
David Spade
Is he dismissed?
Dana Carvey
I guess so. I don't want to work these bits out because I know you're going to join in and they'll just be sort of fun.
David Spade
I know they kind of run. I like it. I, I go to an island. I do coconut curls. You can work out wherever you go.
Dana Carvey
Do you know that I. I like when I. When I hear other people do Arnold.
David Spade
It makes me happy so bad. Mine are always.
Dana Carvey
If this is a better than talking. I actually used to do this 20 minute bit called predator island. This is pre Epstein where all the kind of canceled men would go. And that would be hosted by Arnold. Welcome to Predator island where we take care of all the Predator people. Look, there's Woody Allen. What are you doing here? Yeah, because you know, we think that, you know, the charge is false. You know, run. I lay down ground fire. Run, Woody. Run to the brambles.
David Spade
Wearing my khakis. Should have brought some sweats.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, look, Rosie o' Donnell is in racist o. Donald. Look at Jesse Smollett. He's on Hoax Mountain.
David Spade
Hoax Mountain. I like that.
Dana Carvey
Lay down some ground fire. So anyway, that was my.
David Spade
I like it. You came literally loaded.
Dana Carvey
I am loaded. You know, I had a little extra in my orange juice.
David Spade
My mom, I'm worried because sometimes she takes her dog's drugs. I thought it was by accident, but.
Dana Carvey
What? Come on.
David Spade
I don't know. I don't know if it's concerning but like my.
Dana Carvey
Well, wait a minute. Sometimes she takes her dog's drugs.
David Spade
Is she Mr. Like only like Tramadol? Like because I think she ran out and she hurt her leg and she goes, it's the same thing. I'm like, I don't know.
Dana Carvey
She goes, davey, Davey, relax. It's just a pooch pill. Davey, it's just a pooch pill.
David Spade
We were all together On Fourth of July. Oh, she's like, davey, go say hi to that lady over there. She said she was your biggest fan. Oh, why? You're gonna keep eating lunch? I go, I'll go over there in a minute. Oh, I don't like when you get like this. These are fans. I go, I know. I literally. I'm always nice. Anyway, no joke. But I. Sometimes it's funny because right now she's got me on the hook for two different things, and she's, like, just texting me up the wazoo about it. I go, mom, oh, my God. You know, people get to her and then they go, just tell them to do this. And she's like, done.
Dana Carvey
Parents, you know, parents, Parents and some. Having a child who got kind of lucky in free market America, got on tv, and then they just root for you. Like I had. My career was like a roller coaster, you know, When I was on a down slope, my parents would call me. They'd be on vacation in Montana. My mom would go, you sure got a lot of fans up here, Dana.
David Spade
Yeah, that's very nice.
Dana Carvey
My dad would go, oh, Jesus Christ. You got a lot of fans up here.
David Spade
Yeah, I like it. It may kind of picks you up because you think things aren't going good, and it's always, like, up and down, and they're always pulling for you. Ideally. But she is, for sure.
Dana Carvey
Well. And the good thing, too, is when you're on SNL and you're dressed like a tomato or with a clown nose on and floppy feet, you're doing this goofy sketch. Just check yourself for a second ago. Look what I'm doing. Don't take it too seriously.
David Spade
I get paid to dress like a bagel.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I asked Jerry Seinfeld about that. I go, should I take it seriously? No. What should I take serious? Nothing. Why are you taking it seriously?
David Spade
I did hear him yesterday on Instagram. I love Jerry going like nothing matters. This is his latest advice. It's just. It doesn't matter. Like, these things, these people that you think hate you, they'll be gone soon. Everything will just be gone. You'll be gone. It'll all be gone. It's all gone.
Dana Carvey
It's stoicism. It's a way to not take this. This life too seriously. And really, this is a fact. I looked it up. That the next. In the next 150 years, 8 billion people will die, and then they'll be dead for at least a trillion years.
David Spade
Jesus. Brought to you by. Bummer. God damn it.
Dana Carvey
Let's go.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
I'm Kristen Press.
Dana Carvey
And I'm Tobin Heath.
David Spade
We're World cup winners, Olympians and the hosts of the recap show.
Dana Carvey
Every week we sit down with the icons, disruptors and game changers on the field and beyond it to talk victories, heartbreaks and everything in between.
David Spade
We've built a spot space where athletes.
Dana Carvey
Change makers and people creating the future of women's sports can show up and.
David Spade
Show off as their full unapologetic selves. Follow and listen to the recap show. Wherever you get your podcasts, Danny, you know I'm running around all day as.
Dana Carvey
You know, you, you actually that's no joke. You do. You, you do go around.
David Spade
You get in that car getting my steps. Yeah, I get the steps. I and if I don't get my 2,000 steps a day, I get out and walk. I'm not bragging, but that's what I Do. So listen, I need a little energy in the day. Of course. Cachava, okay. It comes in a bag, right? It's a body meal. It's a whole body meal. So you mix it up either plain. You know, I kind of like throwing a peanut butter, right? That's just me. You can do whatever you want. Add stuff. There's a lot of great ingredients in there already. They've got maca root, goji berry, chia seeds. So many things. But if you want to be energized, focused, calm, and satiated for hours, throw in one of these. I like chocolate. They have also vanilla chai. Is that a word?
Dana Carvey
Yeah. I'd say you add a little bit of peanut butter, a little bit of banana, maybe a little bit of yogurt, and then mix it in a blender or with a big spoon and gulp it down. Not hungry and full of energy all day. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
That's cachava. K A C h a v a dot com. Code fly for 15 off. Yeah.
David Spade
All right. I want to show one thing that's probably on our videos. It was a Coldplay concert that was like yesterday. But I like whenever it was. You know how they go? They show the kiss cam in the audience.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah.
David Spade
So they show this guy. Fine. They're just jumping around.
Dana Carvey
Oh, look at these people. Oh, all right.
David Spade
Come on. You're okay. Either they're having an affair or they're just very shy. That's Chris Martin. And they say it looks like they were having an affair and they both got puffed.
Dana Carvey
Well, let me see it again. Let me see it again because that I want to see the. Okay, they're on. They see. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's.
David Spade
That's immediately he disappears.
Dana Carvey
He drops something to hide.
David Spade
So.
Dana Carvey
Wow.
David Spade
He's a CEO of a big company and it's not confirmed.
Dana Carvey
I'm just. I'm just gonna say putting that camera on them. And what Chris Martin said is more than that. It's a cold play, brother. Oh, yeah, I did that. That's where he got the name Coldplay. Because he would always embarrass people in the audience. He said, I think I'm gonna name the band Coldplay. We put cameras, make fun of them. I Don't know. I don't do a Chris Martin.
David Spade
But you know who else? It felt like something that Mr. Freeze would do. Mr. Freeze.
Dana Carvey
I freeze you. Mr. Freeze. Mr. Freeze. I put the Freeze camera on you. Now you're diving to the headboard out of embarrassment because you're having an elicit to fair run. I lay down ground fire.
David Spade
He played Mr. Freeze in Batman.
Dana Carvey
And you know what? He was actually. That movie sucked of all the Batmans. But Arnold was great in Mr.
David Spade
He's great.
Dana Carvey
He was so committed.
David Spade
Did you hear the Tommy Lee Jones Jim Carrey story where. No, Jim Carrey comes in? Tommy Lee Jones is this serious actor. He's playing Two Face and Jim Carrey's playing the Joker, the Riddler. Something ridiculous.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, he's the Riddler, I believe.
David Spade
Yeah. And he said on one of his days off he went to a restaurant and he saw him. This is I. It sounds true. I don't know. I gotta ask.
Dana Carvey
I'll let you know.
David Spade
Jim sees him and goes up to him and says hi to him and his table. And he says, it's been so fun doing this. Acting this movie with you. And he goes, you, sir, are not an actor. You, sir, are a clown. I am an actor and I'm in a movie with a clown. We are not the same. Not awesome. Well, I've heard that story so many times. Let's ask Jim Carrey.
Dana Carvey
I heard the same story, but I think what it was is that he was having dinner with Casey Kasem and he said that to him. And then Casey said, let me answer this. You, sir, are not an actor. You are a clown. That's all you'll ever be. I'm Casey Kasem and checking in at.
David Spade
Number five prime rib. And then Scooby under the table.
Dana Carvey
Give me a right. Scooby thinks he's an actor. Scooby movies. He is an actor. What do you think, Scoob?
David Spade
Ground.
Dana Carvey
Ground.
David Spade
Clown.
Dana Carvey
Oh, clown.
David Spade
Scooby has trouble with his L's.
Dana Carvey
I think this is, I think Q and A with Shaggy and Scooby is. And then the audience could try to figure out what the f. You're saying. Scooby, who do you think's a better actor? Al Pacino or Robert De Niro?
David Spade
Which one can I say better? Rarimo.
Dana Carvey
I said, well, you said, oh, at the end. He does Pacino. I see. Oh, that's a good one, man. Thanks for that.
David Spade
God, same amount of syllables. Scooby was on that one.
Dana Carvey
Scooby, who do you think's a better actor, Scoob. Let's see. Let me.
David Spade
Don't put Scooby on a spot.
Dana Carvey
Christopher walken or Leonardo DiCaprio. Rio.
David Spade
It's easier to say Rio.
Dana Carvey
No, I give me a DiCaprio as Scooby.
David Spade
No, Scooby. I said Rio because Leo's easier to say as Scooby.
Dana Carvey
Real. Real copper rubber hole.
David Spade
You don't want to rip on his voice box. Jesus Christ.
Dana Carvey
Well, I'm giving. I've cast you as Scooby and me and Shaggy. But some. You do a great Shaggy, so sometimes. I'll do it.
David Spade
Okay, I'll do it. Who's a better actor? Christopher? Wait. Christian Bale or Benicio del Toro?
Dana Carvey
Right on. Room.
David Spade
Oh, he doesn't know. I didn't know he couldn't have an opinion.
Dana Carvey
Look, look, everybody. I'm working right now.
David Spade
He goes, you got any sausages? He doesn't want to get a quiz. He wants a sausages. That's what dogs like.
Dana Carvey
I don't know, Scoob. I don't like. I don't like this whole bit. It's run into a ditch. Let's ski, daddle. I'm laying down some gunfire.
David Spade
Zoinks.
Dana Carvey
That's a good one. Yeah, I should use that word. Zoinks. Well, Scoob, I'm scared. There's a ghost following us. What should we do?
David Spade
Zoinks.
Dana Carvey
What does zoinks mean?
David Spade
It means a lot of things. No, but Casey Kasem is the guy doing it. But. But Scooby is higher. You're right.
Dana Carvey
And my highest compliment, I guess, were some comments like, hey, man, the dude sounds exactly like Casey Kasem. Not knowing that Casey Kasem was shaking.
David Spade
But Shaggy goes a little higher octave.
Dana Carvey
Like, Scoob, Scooby kind of breaks.
David Spade
He's always scared.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's kind of a puss.
David Spade
Is Shaggy always on drugs or something? He looks like a burnout.
Dana Carvey
Well, they made him into kind of a hippie burnout.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Well, let's go to the sphere, Scoob. I suddenly have double vision. I don't think I want to ride the Matterhorn today.
David Spade
Scoob, did you have those mushrooms? Ruh Row.
Dana Carvey
Ruh Row is the most famous.
David Spade
The most famous. We never do it.
Dana Carvey
Row.
David Spade
All right, let's do more hot stories.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's. That's it.
David Spade
Oh. So Brittany who we, like, Brittany did an Instagram post where she said that she adopted a kid. But that's exactly the reaction is this. Well, first of all, we love Brittany. But at Some point when she was semi locked down. Maybe it wasn't a horrible idea. Maybe they know more than we know as an outsider, that maybe she needs a little guidance.
Dana Carvey
Well, what I love about the byline, oops, I didn't adopt a Canada dog. Quote, just having fun online.
David Spade
Well, I don't know if the team does that after or she does or I don't know. I don't know.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I know. The team we were talking about the other day. It is amazing how much I hear that freaking word. Team. My team, your team. If I'm on a corporate date, wherever I am, anybody, our team will get back to you.
David Spade
You have a team. You have a really big team.
Dana Carvey
You're looking at the beginning and end of my team. I don't have a team. You're my team. Heather's my team.
David Spade
I do answer for you a lot.
Dana Carvey
I, you know, I have. I have residual Casey Case and Voice. Heather's my team. You're my team. Sometimes dual voice, and I can't get.
David Spade
Out of it when we do. We're doing Yamava Casino down here, and.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, let's promote that. Yama Casino one night only. Danis Far Flow and David Spudler with all their wacky shenanigans.
David Spade
They go, does Dana still need. We heard he needs his raisins cut in half in a bowl. And I go, yep. I just talked to him. I'm his team. And that's what the team says he needs before he can go on. He can't do one impression without it.
Dana Carvey
Yes. What's your ritual? One minute before you go out so the fans can know you have one minute. Mr. Spade.
David Spade
Ketchup, mustard. Ketchup, mustard. Actually, what I do do is I usually go in the bathroom of the dressing room if people are there and I don't want to kick them out. It's going to be. I look at my notes and I go, I got to figure out the first minute what's going on. Right. When I visualize what's going on out there, what are you going to say? You can get spooked like a horse if you don't know what's going on and you get thrown right away, it's hard to get it back. So go out there, think on the first joke. Think of something about the city or whatever. I want to do just about that before I sort of get into a groove. But if you get it, if you get. If you come out on solid footing, then you can do better. Sometimes you get thrown by something in the Audience or lights are too bright or something. You're like, oh, what's yours?
Dana Carvey
I'd say that I sort of peek around the curtain and try to catch a vibe.
David Spade
Oh, you do.
Dana Carvey
If there's a lot of hubbub, a lot of energy, then you're like, I.
David Spade
Do that a little earlier. When they announce the show and the lights go down when the opener's on, I go look to say, oh, they're doing great.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Earlier, I'm in an ice bath in the dressing room.
David Spade
You're an ice bath from noon to.
Dana Carvey
5, just to wake myself up. But I would say nothing defeats, like, if you can have second show energy in our first show. Because when you have to do a second show, which is. Is more than twice as hard.
David Spade
Sickening. Yeah, they're tough.
Dana Carvey
You just have that mode of, like, I just did that, you know, I mean, you're. You're much more of a good. Not judging yourself out there.
David Spade
I think it comes up for the first show because, listen, we've all done the road where you do two shows a night is very common on weekends, and we all did, even in the old days, the heyday of clubs, three on a Saturday. But to get your energy up, it sounds like you don't. We're very mellow. But if you do that and you can't help but come off, the adrenaline goes down a little bit, and then you kind of level off and you've got to bring it back up. It's very weird on the body. You start to sleep and then you go, oh, my God, I got to get back up again.
Dana Carvey
Geez. I would say that what I do when I walk out there is I try to do something that makes me laugh to myself. And so for a while now, they asked me, what do you want to go on to? So for some reason, I just. No reason except that it makes me laugh. That my theme when I come out is Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley.
David Spade
Yeah. Great song.
Dana Carvey
And the song. The crowd's always really happy. And sometimes I start singing it with them. We can't go on together. And so then I'm just thinking, this is. Remember how ridiculous it is, what we do?
David Spade
Goofy songs are good to come out. Nobody gonna break in my stride. I think I came out to that once.
Dana Carvey
That's funny. Nobody gonna break my stride.
David Spade
It just puts them in a goofy mood right from the beginning. I used to have Zeppelin, and it was great, but actually, the energy of a loud Zeppelin song is almost too much energy to follow because it's too Good.
Dana Carvey
I would say that Zeppelin's the greatest, but probably the greatest heavy metal intro to a song. And to your point, it almost overwhelms the set I stopped using. It was Inner Sandman by Metallica, and it just built. It's so awesome. But then it's like, it's such a thing. And then. And then. And then it quiets. Then it's just a single voice. What's up, Des Moines? Hi, guys.
David Spade
I went to the cornfields today.
Dana Carvey
When I hear someone do Garfield, it makes me laugh harder than what I do it. Yeah.
David Spade
Meanwhile, the crowd's going, yeah, take my hair, Tony, go.
Dana Carvey
Go to.
David Spade
Never Never Land.
Dana Carvey
Ever. Never Never Land. Hi, I'm Garth. I'm happy now.
David Spade
Hi. I bought a snow cone at your Dairy Queen, didn't I?
Dana Carvey
Yeah. I like to get jamoka almond fudge because it doesn't stop with jamocha. You also have the fudge at the end.
David Spade
I like when Sherry o'. Terry.
Dana Carvey
I know I gave her that Barbara Walters at Baskin and Robbins. And then, you know, you're trying to think of all the flavors.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And that's.
David Spade
She came up with it like that.
Dana Carvey
She jumped right on it.
David Spade
Like Sherry, who I don't think is on yet. I'm fly on the wall, but it's very soon. If it's not. I think we got Sandler up right now.
Dana Carvey
I can't tell if this is gonna air in 2026. I'm so confused.
David Spade
I know. I don't know.
Dana Carvey
Hold me.
David Spade
Believe me, the audience just clicks and goes, I hope this. These are funny. We don't even know what's going on.
Dana Carvey
I always want to remind the audience, first of all, subscribe that. Subscribe that script groups button. Sorry.
David Spade
Smash that button.
Dana Carvey
Smash it, match it. And always remember, you can fast forward. Or you could turn us off. You know, just. Just. But. Or listen to the whole thing. You have. You have options, and it's free.
David Spade
Yeah. And we do the commercials, too. It's really. It's.
Dana Carvey
And our. We read the commercials are so great.
David Spade
I like when people go, commercials are the funniest part. I go, well, that's concerning. That's kind of funnier than our trying to be funny parts.
Dana Carvey
You know what the best part of the show is? Is when you guys are wrapping up and it's almost over. I love that part.
David Spade
You know what? I usually start with the credits, and then I turn it off.
Dana Carvey
You know what I do is I have it on the background when I'm cooking. And then after a while, I turn the sound off and I'll see it a little bit. Yeah, it's really good with the sound off.
David Spade
You know what your show is good for? When I'm cooking, I have the TV on the background, and then I have the podcast on in the background for the tv.
Dana Carvey
What I do sometimes when I need a break is I put on angel hair pasta and I put it in, and it's a two minute. And you got to really focus. You go over to. It's gummy. So for that two minutes, I'm totally focused on the pasta and I don't have to listen that stupid podcast.
David Spade
The good thing about your podcast is if I listen long enough, you'll yell some joke that's so dumb.
Dana Carvey
I'll.
David Spade
And then I go, okay, finally they hit something, and then it flatlines for about 22 minutes.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. The great thing about your podcast is that at a given moment, I can tell that you're both really phoning it in. And that kind of makes me smile.
David Spade
Someone told me on. On the credits, it looks like Spade really phoned it in this time. I go, I've been phoning it in since day one. I've got bad news.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. And what is the problem with phoning it in? It just means you're relaxed.
David Spade
Yeah. I go, do you have a phone? What are you from 1980? I have a cell phone.
Dana Carvey
Why are we have this ongoing war?
David Spade
Actually, someone asked me what my sound machine was called. That one that makes all the noises.
Dana Carvey
Okay, let's.
David Spade
It's called Soundboard. It's hysterical, though. But it's easy.
Dana Carvey
Laughs I want to pitch something. First of all, I don't think anyone can totally monopolize and have a monopoly on those little sounds. So I'm saying David and Dana's.
David Spade
Oh, yeah, Soundboard. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Call it something else. Soundy woundy or whatever.
David Spade
I go, you can have sounds like this. If Sydney Sweeney walks in the room. Do you hear that?
Dana Carvey
Yeah. But put it further on the mic. Give it a little louder.
David Spade
Okay. You get a boner.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
When Dana does a joke.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. We could just put some classic ones in there, like get to the chopper. You know, I could do some. Just one.
David Spade
That's a good one.
Dana Carvey
Why do I not have. Every time I think it's so funny.
David Spade
And I have it and you don't. When Dana does a bad joke.
Dana Carvey
Kong. When Dana does a joke that he thinks is funny.
David Spade
I had the wrong. I had the wrong one. Now here's Dana. Here's Dana. When he. When he closes the Yamava Casino. Such a gift.
Dana Carvey
We gotta figure out who's gonna open. I like to open, you like to close.
David Spade
I don't care. I'll do whatever you want.
Dana Carvey
I'm, I'm, I'm your opener man.
David Spade
We're both there. You know what you said the other day that was funny? We said something that was a bit murky and you said, it's a merk fest.
Dana Carvey
Did I?
David Spade
You're funny.
Dana Carvey
Thank you for keeping track of my funniest.
David Spade
Every couple weeks you say something funny, I scribble it down. Okay, what's going on? The next story. Top tier AI employees at Meta, which is Zuckerberg, will earn a base salary of a hundred million.
Dana Carvey
What?
David Spade
With bonuses of up to 300 million a year, I can safely say we're in the wrong business. There's no way. Wait. Offering compensation. It's up to. So, I mean, you might only get 50 million, you might only get nothing.
Dana Carvey
But the base of 100 is nice, but what do you.
David Spade
Oh, is it base?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's your salary. Hi, I'm, I'm, I'm Mark Zuckerberg. So what I'm going to pay you is 100 million a year as a base salary and then you can earn bonuses of up to 300 million per year. Where are you going?
David Spade
What did you were, what did you get at your last job? I got a 32,000 a year with no bonus. Okay, we're going to up that to 100 million.
Dana Carvey
And the nerds are like, okay, that sounds good. 100 billion and then maybe 300 billion bonus. Thank you so much. I'll just be going to my car now. Call my wife.
David Spade
It's a world where everybody feels poor because there's things like that. They're like, oh, should I be getting 100 million at my job?
Dana Carvey
No truer words have ever been spoken by you, David.
David Spade
So true.
Dana Carvey
The constant onslaught of people on 500 foot long yachts and just, just Sodom and Gomorrah parties and jets and money and power, you know, it just makes people feel bad about. It should be banned.
David Spade
There's always people making way more, but there's always people making less.
Dana Carvey
So it's an illusion. It's an illusion. Most people are struggling at some level, you know.
David Spade
You know, it reminds me of Superman. There's a tear in the earth's fiber and there's a prism of a black hole.
Dana Carvey
Is that in the movie? I haven't seen it yet.
David Spade
That's what I got from it. Oh, you haven't Seen it yet? Oh, you don't want to know.
Dana Carvey
Toy boat. Toy boat, toy.
David Spade
You don't know who wins, okay?
Dana Carvey
Lex Luthor. Martin Luther. Lex.
David Spade
Oh, yeah. We can't talk about it till you see it.
Dana Carvey
Sometimes I will. Because I want to be transparent on this podcast, all wiki and get kind of like when I watch the last Mission Impossible. So much confusion that I just did. Look at that. Okay. There's a thing that has to connect to a thing. So once in a while.
David Spade
Enigma.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Once in a while, it's okay to kind of know if it's a very confusing movie. I assume Superman's pretty straightforward, but with you, you get a little tired. Here's the impression of you watching Superman in the theater. What's going on? I don't really get it. I. I don't understand. I don't understand. Who does the dog belong to? Who are the bad guys? What's the guy with a weird head?
David Spade
Is that a dog? Why is the dog here? Is it lost? Where's the Enigma? Is that only in the other movie?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, Impossible Superman should be. They could make that with AI. Just take those two movies and make Impossible Superman.
David Spade
Tom.
Dana Carvey
Tom Cruise in there.
David Spade
Oh, I can't tell you anything about it.
Dana Carvey
Well, you can.
David Spade
Let me just tell you this one thing.
Dana Carvey
I said all the comic books as a kid, okay?
David Spade
I like people. I'll tell you one thing. This doesn't even give away anything.
Dana Carvey
This won't give away anything. So tell me that one thing.
David Spade
He dies in the first five minutes. This. And it gives away nothing.
Dana Carvey
One thing I am interested in.
David Spade
No, that's not true.
Dana Carvey
Because the original was, like, amazing. This is the original modern era Chris Reeve, okay? And so the director, James Gunn, said, okay, I want someone who can do a Brando and be his dad. And so he picked Bradley Cooper, who's a fantastic actor. But my head is still stuck on Brando. I wish they just kept Brando with AI or something.
David Spade
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Dana Carvey
Well, there's also nothing against. Well, Coop, as I call him. Nothing against Coop. He's a brilliant actor.
David Spade
Coop is one of his dad.
Dana Carvey
There's only one Brando.
David Spade
Hear what I said?
Dana Carvey
What?
David Spade
Bradley Cooper is one of his dads.
Dana Carvey
Well, that's what I mean. Oh, you mean in real life?
David Spade
No, in the movie.
Dana Carvey
But in real life, too. To the.
David Spade
No, he's one of his dads.
Dana Carvey
I mean, there's more than one dad's.
David Spade
I don't know.
Dana Carvey
Is that some Krypton thing you have? You have two fathers, Scoob. On planet Krypton. G. Secret keeper.
David Spade
I don't want to tell you because you haven't seen. Seen it.
Dana Carvey
When am I gonna see it?
David Spade
I mean, his dad is the dog. And everyone goes, well, okay, come on.
Dana Carvey
His dad is a dog.
David Spade
No, he does have a dog in the movie.
Dana Carvey
I saw the preview. When he's in the eyes.
David Spade
I can tell you that he's in the eyes, like.
Dana Carvey
And then you see the dog running in.
David Spade
Yeah, he's beaten up. Which is. It's always funny when these superheroes get beat up because you go, aren't you made of steel? But he gets beat up and he's, like, bleeding. I didn't know he could bleed either. And he goes like this. I have no life in me, but I need. I need to whistle. And he goes at, like, 1 million decibels for about three minutes straight. And you go. You do have some energy left. Ow, ow, ow. Don't. Everyone's throwing their laptop out the window.
Dana Carvey
Well, here's the thing that I've always found problematic with these Marvel superhero movies. You got the Hulk. He's. Nothing can destroy him. He's gonna have a fist fight with some giant lizard, and nothing can destroy or hurt either one of them. And they pound the. Out of each other for 10 minutes, and they kind of walk away. It's like.
David Spade
And they go, no one can get beat up, so why do you fight for a half hour?
Dana Carvey
The whole. The whole goal of Superman. Haven't seen the movie. Is to make you think he's actually in danger at some point.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And that's the whole goal of the movie. Otherwise, like, I guess he's gonna get out of this one.
David Spade
But the problem with Superman vs Batman is Batman is a person who can easily die. Is he Batman? Is.
Dana Carvey
Is Batman a person?
David Spade
Your words, not mine.
Dana Carvey
Your movie. Not mine.
David Spade
Your superhero.
Dana Carvey
No, I know. Batman was just. Yeah, it's just.
David Spade
So you're fighting the biggest star in the world, Superman. That's not even from here, and you're supposed to beat him.
Dana Carvey
Can I just make an observation for a second?
David Spade
Briefly guess.
Dana Carvey
In the analog days, for all you. You millennials and you Heathers and you youngins, the analog days, you might go on a vacation, and you might be in a shitty cabin near a lake, and there's a little store you go into. First of all, they got a thing. It's. It says Coca Cola on the outside, and you put it up and it's all cold drinks like knee high soda and root beer. And you take them out and you buy them and then they have stacks of comic books and you have no tv, no electronics, no WI fi, nothing to do, nothing. So you get a Superman vs Batman comic book and you go, just hang out on a wood pile.
David Spade
You also use your imagination a lot because you have to picture the.
Dana Carvey
That was heaven. Heaven. And there was creepy magazine too. Creepy comic books, which were kind of scary. But that. That was when you're somewhere, even for people. Now, if you go somewhere and you don't have WI fi and you don't have any television electronics, and you look over, you see a bookcase, you go, I think I'm gonna read Moby Dick.
David Spade
Right? It's just raw dogging. I mean, early on, people talk about. You love it, flight. But when you're a kid, Richie Rich. I read a lot. For some reason, the poor little kid. And I think I would dream of, like, because we didn't have that much money. I'm like, look at this kid. He has like a Rolls Royce skateboard. I'm like.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. You remember the days where the windows were up the entire flight and the pilot would come on. The Grand Canyon can be seen to the left. This is. This is.
David Spade
It was exciting. Yeah. Now, it's funny that in the day they all put the thing down.
Dana Carvey
No, you're in a. It's pitch black too. But you're on your electronics. One time I paying attention, suddenly I heard the bus land.
David Spade
Oh, you land. Yeah. It's very weird. I don't really like it if one person, it's always to my right side, has their window fully blasting on me. So it's giving me a headache here. But everyone else is down, so there should be. I know it's sad life I have.
Dana Carvey
I gotta get mine. This I felt bad about. You ever actually do feel bad about your behavior because you weren't paying attention.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
So I'm on a flight, it's from Hawaii. So unfortunately, two hurricanes have merged together and they're in our path. So stay seated. So everyone's got their thing down. So I want to use the restroom very badly. So I'm looking. I keep opening the window and looking at the weather and closing it and opening. Looking at the weather and closing it. So I. I must have done it too much because as we're getting our bags, this woman goes, yeah, yeah. You liked open and closing the window a lot, didn't you? Yeah. You did it the whole time.
David Spade
Yeah, you did.
Dana Carvey
And then I said, intuitively, I didn't want to have an argument. I said, well, You. Oh, you should have told me.
David Spade
You know, they're not going to tell some superstar.
Dana Carvey
No one knows who I am. You do. You know how invisible I am? I mean, look, look at this. I have the sunglasses.
David Spade
Dana, where'd you go?
Dana Carvey
Who's this exactly with you? And like I've said before, you are famous. Fame. Oh, you are like walking around with a Disney character.
David Spade
Mickey Mouse or Pluto. It's because I wear my grown up shirt. We go out. I go, what?
Dana Carvey
Well, you've got. You've been in some blockbusters, you know.
David Spade
No, listen, I.
Dana Carvey
If I went around dressed as Garth, I'd get mobbed, right? But no one knows who I am.
David Spade
No, some people know me, some don't. It's the way it always is. You never know the ones that matter. When you're like, at the airport, you want to get into their restaurant because you have 20 minutes to eat. They're like, that'll be a two and a half hour line. I'm like this.
Dana Carvey
And because they're not, they're not giving you the check. What I do if someone does come up and they've got their. Got this, I put them out of their misery. I always go, let's take a picture. They go, really?
David Spade
Yeah. Sometimes it's better to just say, let's do it.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, let's do it. Come on.
David Spade
Because they're standing there with their phone like this going.
Dana Carvey
You might.
David Spade
You go, you want to take a picture? Oh, yeah. Okay.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
They're like, you know, and then they go, take off your sunglasses.
Dana Carvey
Them take it.
David Spade
Oh, yeah. They're all nervous. They can't open their.
Dana Carvey
They ask me, do you know how to work it? Yeah.
David Spade
They go, can we take a picture? And they go, yeah. And they go, I. I don't hear. I don't know how to do it. Just. They hand it to me and I'm like.
Dana Carvey
MSNBC Films presents season two of the hit series from NBC News studios Leguizamo Does America. Hosted by John Leguizamo. We're gonna connect with some Latinos, eat.
David Spade
Some food and do a little dancing.
Dana Carvey
Join him for six new episodes as he explores the Latino experience in six more iconic American cities.
David Spade
I'm here to meet with some exceptional Latin people leading the way.
Dana Carvey
So come on, let's go. Leguizamo Does America. All new episodes Sunday at 9pm Eastern on MSNBC. We are supported by Ring. With Ring, you can be there from anywhere with doorbells and cameras that help you see more to exciting features that help, you know, more to the app that lets you connect more See more at the front door up high and down low with battery doorbells head to toe video capture it all all day and all night with 24. 7 recording and get smarter alerts that know the difference between a person and a package right in the Ring app.
David Spade
I've often been mistaken for a small package, and I've also been called a snack. But Ring knows the difference. With Ring, you can check in and be there from anywhere. Some features require a subscription and are available only on select Ring devices. Exclusions apply. Learn more@ring.com youm don't need a fly on the wall to get the story on next level protection for your dogs. In fact, the only thing you need for that is nexguard Plus a Foxaloner, Moxidectin and Pyrantal chewable tablets. From birthday parties to costumes, social media accounts to puppy vacations, Next level pet owners will do anything for their dogs. And when it comes to their health, that means giving them next level protection too. That's why there's nexguard Plus. Choose your one and done solution for monthly protection that kills fleas and ticks, prevents heartworm disease, and treats and controls roundworms and hookworms all in one Tasty Beef Flavored Soft chew. My dog Junebug loves getting her monthly nexguard plus, making it simple for me to protect her with a delicious chew she always enjoys.
Dana Carvey
Nexgard plus packs a whole lot of powerful protection into one tasty chew, making monthly dosing easy and enjoyable for both of you. Use with caution in dogs with a history of seizures or neurologic disorders. Dogs should be tested for existing heartworm infections prior to starting a preventive. So the next time you're at the vet, ask about next Card plus choose.
David Spade
Okay, let's look at another one. Let's look at another. My hair got cut. You didn't say anything.
Dana Carvey
All I know is that you see this. Heather looks incredible today.
David Spade
It's hard because it's freaking gray.
Dana Carvey
Okay, I see where this is going.
David Spade
Oh yeah, this is. I didn't see this video, but I can just say that for a present day. And it did send me a meteor about four years ago.
Dana Carvey
Oh, I should have it just out of the blue. Was that's part of Joe Dirt, right?
David Spade
Do you want to grab it? Heather?
Dana Carvey
That is Joe.
David Spade
Is it over?
Dana Carvey
And I'm like this is pretty badass.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
So I bought something. It was just an impulsive buy and I bought another one and I sent it to David Spade. Remember Joe Dirt. Yeah. He thinks that he's got a meteorite. So I said, and Joe Dirt. Now you got a real one. Do you have a meteorite guy I love.
David Spade
He really did this.
Dana Carvey
When stuff goes up to auction, I'll send you an auction book of everything that's. That's up. And there's.
David Spade
I do auctions too. And that auction shop, by the way, this was like one of the nicest things in the world that to think of me and send me this, which was expensive because I saw had a receipt or something in it where you could tell from the auction. They're not giving these meteorites away. Is it a meteor or meteorite? Dana, go meteor.
Dana Carvey
And meteorite.
David Spade
It was banger. Dana, Heather has a labubu and the world needs to know. No, it's. That's his. Okay, we're gonna do fan questions in a minute.
Dana Carvey
I just want to make an observation. Again, not being funny.
David Spade
Well, go ahead.
Dana Carvey
Specific random guests. Like if you're out about in the world and you see something and it makes you think of someone and then you just give them that gift. You may skip the next five birthdays or it's just out of the blue because that's a really.
David Spade
It's the best way to do it.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah.
David Spade
Instead of the day before the birthday, you get a mechanic WD40 or like at 7:11, I gotta get. But if you think of something.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. And you see it and you think of the person, guess what?
David Spade
In the middle of the year, I.
Dana Carvey
Don'T want to give it away, but next time I.
David Spade
Is that my next birthday?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's for you. I didn't want to give it away, but it's. It's yours.
David Spade
This is Lego Joe Dirt. So I went to Legoland.
Dana Carvey
Well, that's cool.
David Spade
I took Harper to Legoland and they go, hey, we have a special thing for you. They took me into the Lego place. I don't even know where it was in inside. And they made that for me. So I got a wagon for it. And then we have Dana's meteor. It's smaller. Smaller than I thought it would be. Can you see it?
Dana Carvey
Show Dirt's meteor. What do you mean?
David Spade
And so I put it in Joe Dirt's meteor. And then Lego Joe Dirt carries it. Hey, man, what's crappening?
Dana Carvey
So it makes me want to watch Joe Dirt again. I keep seeing these little clips and I think it's better than I remembered it.
David Spade
Well, it's actually a feel good movie. So ultimately it's.
Dana Carvey
Oh, you played it kind of real. You were sort of a sympathetic character for once.
David Spade
I was not like a sarcastic, smart.
Dana Carvey
No, you were. I think in the writing, you can see.
David Spade
You know, I'm gonna do a jotor thing this weekend. I think so I'll tell you next week if I do it, but Okay. I thought this meteor was great. I thought it would be bigger because.
Dana Carvey
It said a big box and it's just a little.
David Spade
But it is from. It's from space.
Dana Carvey
It's from space. It's from Joe Dirt, but it's smaller because the Lego's smaller than a regular person.
David Spade
So Great. So I didn't see his. But maybe it's like that. But anyway, I do that kind of thing too. I look at these things and I've bought people things because there's like, they're a Star wars fan. Oh, we have a lightsaber from the real movie or Indiana Jones's hat. Like, those kind of things are one of a kind. It's really. They're too expensive, though. But if you can get a cool one, they usually under on the download go up in value a lot because people love these little things from the world of movies and stars.
Dana Carvey
You know, it. I don't know. I don't know if the words like.
David Spade
You have beetle stuff.
Dana Carvey
I have some beetle stuff. Yeah. I have. Yeah, I have beetle stuff.
David Spade
Some Beatles album signed by all four.
Dana Carvey
Beatles is not too many in the world.
David Spade
Not too many.
Dana Carvey
The gift was from NBC when they were trying to meet get me to take over when Letterman left. So they got me a gift at Sotheby's.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
In London. And I still have it, but I think.
David Spade
But when you did new Letterman, you gave it back, right?
Dana Carvey
No, I couldn't. I couldn't find how it works. They said this is from this NBC.
David Spade
Fred Silverman.
Dana Carvey
It's Fred Silverman. Called me. No, I won't. I didn't give it back. But I do think that people have hobbies and passionate and start collecting. Seems like a lot of times they end up getting really rich from it, you know, like Jay Leno with the cars. It's more. He's probably made more money off his cars than all of his Tonight show money and all is the best.
David Spade
Yeah, but Dana, you might have a Labu. You don't even know what they are.
Dana Carvey
I remember Pokemon cards and all the rest. Okay, so we're gonna do two fan questions. We can always cut them.
David Spade
Yeah, let's hit a fan question. Cut them if they suck and we give a bad answer.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
C
Hello, David, Dana, and fly on the well pod. My name is Sarah Grace and I have a question for Shaggy News. Before I get into it, I'd just like to say that I'm such a huge fan and I look forward to the podcast every single week. You guys are literally my emotional support comedians. You know, some people need a smoke break, but I need a David Spade and Dana Carvey break during my day because you guys just make me laugh and forget about my week to week stressors and most people don't break sometimes. David, I am such a fan and I just think you're so witty, funny and sarcastic and I've got a little crush.
David Spade
All right.
C
And Dana, I have so much admiration for you as well. Anyways, enough rambling. I'm gonna get to my question now. I am gonna be a junior in college and I'm moving out of my parents house for the first time and going to a university. And my question is, what advice would you have someone that's moving to a new place for the first time. Thanks so much, guys.
David Spade
Bye. Go ahead. David.
Dana Carvey
David, wasn't it for you?
David Spade
Very sweet.
Dana Carvey
What was the exact wording in the question?
David Spade
I think it's, she's going away to college. College must be a different state, I'm guessing. That is scary.
Dana Carvey
And what would be. What's our advice?
David Spade
Yeah, real, real twist, real talk.
Dana Carvey
Well, first of all, you know, stay out of the sun. You know, really wear a big hat because you're, you have really great skin. You almost look animated and you're 18, I assume. So wear big hat. Second of all, I have, my question is, are you in a dorm? Because if you're in a dorm, you're going to meet like 300 people in one day. And that's a great way to do it. I think it's an incredible. I was in a dorm once for a year and it was boy, girls, 15 stories, high school, San Francisco State. And so it's a huge social environment, I think. Don't be fearful and just be open. And based on her being a fan of yours means she's a high quality person.
David Spade
Well, she seems pretty friendly and outgoing and so cute girl out there in the real world especially like. Yeah, I did that at asu. There's dorms there, there's fraternities. Yeah, you don't have to join that stuff. It was sort of the way into this a social life. But I would keep the drinking within reason. It's not, I mean, no one's not going to drink. I guess just Be realistic, but just try to focus a little bit on school and maybe get a part time job. But it's hard to move to a different city, especially away from the parents, away from the fam.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. I mean, embrace the anxiety. Just trust it. Of course, everyone else who's getting in this dorm as a freshman, coming from other places, they'll, you'll think they're way more confident than you and you'll, you know, just remember everybody's a little nervous about this whole experience, but it is the same in, in the, in the context of your lifetime. Just enjoy the hell out of it because you get, if you don't have to, work if you can, if you're able to. I was sweeping the. The stairwell and vacuuming the building. Wasn't too bad. I met people that way. I was vacuuming a 15. But just enjoy it, go with it and anxiety and a little bit all normal and easy on the booze as madness lies that way, you know?
David Spade
Yeah. And you know, in closing I'll say that sometimes you wind up having these friends for life. So some are more in high school, some are more in college. But it can happen. So just see what happens and try.
Dana Carvey
Not to stress one last thing and I'll say it is, Garth, if you're bored some night, what you can do is maybe put on Wins World. Wins World one. Then you could watch.
David Spade
Laser disc. Okay, thank you for that question. We got another question. Thanks. Thanks though.
C
Hey, Dana and David, huge fan, love the podcast. Thanks for taking my question. Dana, you make the best turtle. And David, you are the only llama I've ever liked. Out of curiosity, if you could be any animal in the world, what would you both be?
Dana Carvey
That's easy for me.
David Spade
It is, yeah. What's like a rack nid? Would you be?
Dana Carvey
I would say I'd probably be. Well, I would go with the breed of dog that is the most effusive and cheerful the. Where I live, there's a collie, some kind of collie. Looks like Lassie or something. Or a golden lab. This dog is like just.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah.
Dana Carvey
Just no upper stuff about what Worry in the moment. Completely being joyful. So I'll just say a golden.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
David, you probably want to be I think a roach.
David Spade
Cockroach. Yeah, that's what I want. I think a dog like Australian shepherd or something.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
Running a lot.
Dana Carvey
Good mood order collie.
David Spade
Everybody likes you. Golden retrievers like that. I'm tired of being so smart. I'd be a dumb dog.
Dana Carvey
It's just there's been so many bits about dogs, but, you know, it's just if you have a dog, they see you. If I've seen dogs in a car and then their owner comes back and it's just. It's like the Super Bowl.
David Spade
Yeah. There's a lot of cool animals, but that's a good one.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
All right, Danny, your answer is wrong. Mine was right. Thank you, everybody.
Dana Carvey
We'll let the fans decide. I also like to be a gorilla because they look really powerful.
David Spade
Yeah, I think you can only be one, but.
Dana Carvey
All right. Well, thanks, David. I've really enjoyed having you on on Fly. Thanks for having me and thank you. And I do my traditional weekly selfie of you.
David Spade
Good of you. I did Face me. Yeah, that was a good picture. Behind Superman behind you. That's great. And I'll see everybody next week.
Dana Carvey
All right.
David Spade
Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us review, five star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.
Dana Carvey
If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.
David Spade
Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santos Toro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.
Dana Carvey
Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by.
David Spade
Phil Sweet Tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.
Dana Carvey
Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Ch? Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.
David Spade
Reach out with us. Any questions be asked and answered on the show? You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey. Com. That's a U D a C y com.
Episode: Concert AFFAIR & David is Gifted a Meteorite by Dana White
Release Date: July 21, 2025
The episode kicks off with David Spade sharing his recent experience traveling to Arizona amid scorching temperatures. Dana Carvey counters with a humorous anecdote about hosting his Irish relatives using an Airbnb, highlighting their amazement at the modern amenities like a coffee maker.
Their conversation emphasizes the perks of platforms like Airbnb, allowing hosts to customize their spaces to suit guests' preferences.
Dana and David delve into the curiosity surrounding the items in their show backgrounds. They joke about fans questioning the significance of these items, leading to playful banter about personal quirks.
This segment showcases their effortless chemistry and the lighthearted nature of their friendship.
The duo explores the cultural phenomenon of "Karen," a term used to describe entitlement or problematic behavior, and humorously debates if there's a male counterpart.
Their discussion reflects societal observations through their comedic lens, offering both humor and insight.
David Spade opens up about his struggles with fantasy football, describing the confusion and frustration that comes with managing picks and the unintended consequences it has on his personal life.
Dana playfully offers to "play therapist" for David's fantasy football woes, leading to a humorous exploration of why people engage in such activities.
Dana shares his memories of his brother's elaborate rituals during football games, drawing parallels to concert experiences. They recount a Coldplay concert where the "kiss cam" moment led to comedic interpretations of the couple's behavior.
Their storytelling highlights the absurdity and humor found in live events.
The hosts engage in a playful Scooby-Doo parody, with Dana portraying characters like Shaggy and Scooby. This segment showcases their improvisational skills and deepens the comedic dynamic between them.
Their imitation of beloved cartoon characters adds a nostalgic and amusing layer to the conversation.
Dana and David discuss their relationships with their parents, particularly focusing on how their families support them through ups and downs in their careers. David shares a personal story about his mother inadvertently taking her dog's medication, blending heartfelt moments with humor.
These stories provide a glimpse into their personal lives, resonating with listeners through relatable experiences.
The conversation shifts to discussing their pre-show rituals and approaches to performing. Dana emphasizes not taking the craft too seriously, while David shares his strategies for maintaining energy during performances.
Their insights into performance preparation offer valuable takeaways for aspiring comedians and performers.
The episode features an interactive segment where Dana and David answer fan-submitted questions. Sarah Grace poses a heartfelt question about moving to a new place for college, and the duo provides thoughtful and humorous advice.
This segment strengthens the connection with their audience, showcasing their willingness to engage and support listeners.
Dana surprises David with a meteorite, reminiscent of the movie "Joe Dirt." Their playful exchange about the gift underscores their camaraderie and shared history in the entertainment industry.
Their interaction highlights the fun and thoughtful aspects of their friendship, adding a personal touch to the episode.
As the episode concludes, Dana and David reflect on the funniest parts of their show, the challenges of phoning it in, and the enduring nature of their partnership. They encourage listeners to subscribe, leave reviews, and stay connected through various platforms.
Their closing remarks reinforce the warm and inviting atmosphere of the podcast, leaving listeners eager for future episodes.
In this episode of Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade, the hosts deliver a blend of personal stories, cultural commentary, and interactive humor. From travel mishaps and fantasy football frustrations to heartfelt family anecdotes and playful Scooby-Doo parodies, Dana and David offer a multifaceted glimpse into their lives and comedic minds. Notable moments include Dana gifting David a meteorite and their insightful advice to a college-bound listener, all underscored by their seamless banter and enduring friendship. This episode serves as both an entertaining and relatable listen for fans and newcomers alike.
Notable Quotes:
These quotes encapsulate the humor, camaraderie, and insightful moments that define the podcast episode.