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David Spade
You know who's hilarious is Jim Gaffigan.
Dana Carvey
Jim Gaffigan. He's got. The guy is a machine. He's made 11 specials. I guess this will be number 12 for, and I'll say it, comedy legend Jim Gaffigan. And he's coming to Hulu just in time for the holidays. Jim Gaffigan. Here's the name of the show. Jim Gaffigan The Skinny premieres November 22nd. Isn't that sound good name?
David Spade
Yeah. Listen, it's a hilarious new standup on Hulu. In this all new hour of comedy, you'll see Jim in a whole new light as he gives you the inside scoop on everything from parenting teenagers and gaslighting family members to weight loss and social media and Hulu's very first standup comedy special. Really?
Dana Carvey
Wow, I did not know that. Is that weird? Is that wild stuff? Come shed some existential weight and raise a glass with the hilarious event for one of America's most iconic and relatable comics.
David Spade
Whether you're gathered together with family and friends or need a break from them, everyone needs a happy hour. And who better to give it to you than everybody's favorite comedian, Jim Gaffigan. See the hilarious new standup special, Jim Gaffigan the Skinny, and that's premiering November 22nd, streaming on Hulu.
Dana Carvey
You know, David, look, listen. This holiday season, surprise everyone on your list with the best gifts, all right? Tickets to see there. Wait for it. Favorite artists live.
David Spade
Yeah, listen, I. I go to concerts, Live Nation. I've dealt with them on every concert. They're always in the mix. I went to the Doobie Brothers. I think I went to the Eagles. Anybody that's, you know, along my lines, there's thousands. Thousands. There's content.
Dana Carvey
Thousands.
David Spade
They're in the comedy world, too. Don't worry about that. We got. We got a mix. We've got, you know, Dane Cook, who is on the show. Coming up, we've got Mariah Carey. Of course. It's Christmas. Perfect timing. Metallica, like you said. Rascal Flats. Our old buddies, Sebastian, who we just.
Dana Carvey
Talked to, Sarah Silverman.
David Spade
Love. Love. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Trans Siberian Orchestra. It's a cavalcade.
David Spade
Share a memory together. Give them a gift they'll never forget. Find the most exciting gift for every fan@livenation.com gifts that's livenation.com gifts.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Livenation.com gifts we have on our show.
David Spade
Today, Dana Dane Cook.
Dana Carvey
A familiar name, different than my name, D A N E. And I am D A N A. For all you fans out there, you.
David Spade
Put the DNA in Dana.
Dana Carvey
This one's interesting because his journey, he was the first person to really use social media to create a fan base with a platform called MySpace from the early knots.
David Spade
MySpace I like. And, and then he, he had so much to talk about because there's so many things going on. He did a ton of movies. He's still doing movies. He's sort of gotten to the place now where he had ups and downs and he's like I'm good with everything and I just want to try to do the stuff I really, really want to do. And he puts his own money into stuff and he's doing. He's really. It was super interesting to talk to. I didn't know a lot of what he was telling us.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I mean he really made the leap pretty quickly to stadiums. You know, people are doing a lot now. You know, Arenas.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
He was, he was the one of.
David Spade
The first to go. It was Dice, I remember it was big and then.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, Dice earlier than him and then he, he came out new and he was just like a huge. And he goes. He's a very open, real person because he's had some ups and downs. He had some legal issues that he'll. He'll address in terms of family members. And it's very, very interesting interview. He's very. He's a smart, clever person.
David Spade
I'm just going to say it's kind of similar to the Matt Rife where good looking dude comes out, blows up in comedy and has a big career. And so here, here his story. Stick around. Listen to this. Here he is, Dane Cook. Hey.
Dana Carvey
Wow. The nutty professor is our guest today and he is. Dane is surrounded by incredibly. He's got a stormtrooper. I'm just painting a picture, man. Mass, you are. Are you a science fiction guy like me or is fantasy Marvel? What do you.
Dane Cook
When I see this, I look like an intern at Bad Robot.
Dana Carvey
But at least they have a restaurant in. Bad Robot has a full scale restaurant. You've been there, right? You just walk, walking along.
Dane Cook
Yeah, I've seen it. And you know it wasn't until I looked at your benign background that I look like I'm Mr. Moriam's Magical Emporium over here. So it's a little too busy.
David Spade
Yeah. Well look at Dane and I is pretty blank.
Dana Carvey
But you at least are closed hotel. I'm. I'm in a hotel in New York City.
Dane Cook
You guys look like you're in like one of those like off, off the grid doctor's office.
David Spade
Yeah. Dana's in an undisclosed holiday in Green Ribbon.
Dana Carvey
I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm near a buffet. It's 10 minutes. It's 10ft away, but you're not gonna see it. But let's cook.
David Spade
Dane Cook is our guest.
Dana Carvey
I wanted to have a phrase. I just thought of it. Let's cook it up.
David Spade
Let's get it cooking.
Dana Carvey
What? I'll ask you later. Like, how do we blow up this podcast? I mean, we need. We're doing really well, but I want to know, because you're the master of that. The original. We can start there if you want, or your childhood. But the first comedian that I know of that identified social media before broadband, MySpace, and then decided instead of hanging out after the show, would go back and work social media, then became the biggest comedian on planet Earth, right?
Dane Cook
You know, I was a dork, basically. I was a dork that loved comedy. And I felt like on stage at night, there was this great opportunity to kind of be whoever you wanted to be, right? You could create this Persona. You could, you know, have this kind of rambunctious facade. And then I would go home, and for 23 hours of the day through the entire terrible 90s of road work, I was just miserable. I was really, really, like, languishing miserable. And like, how can you make this other time of the day work? And how could my. My geekdom work for me somehow? I love computers. I saw the Internet as kind of like. I don't know, like some kind of portal, you know, to college kids that were, you know, online late at night downloading porn or whatever they were looking.
David Spade
For and, like, Facebook or something, you start to go, I got to get to these guys.
Dana Carvey
But dial up the energy of dial up in those days. And that's just my wife. Good night. That's all I got. I don't have anything else. That's it. Good night.
David Spade
That's not bad. That's her yelling at you. No, that's her just talking about dinner.
Dana Carvey
Yes, dear. But anyway, so that was. You're a worker bee, then you're a nerd and not willing. You're willing to put the work in, because that is what's pre broadband. You got to really work it.
Dane Cook
Hey, listen, by 98, everybody made it pretty clear to me, if you didn't have, like, a Saturday Night Live or an hbo, you know, young comedian special, if you didn't have one of those two things, you, you know, you weren't going to zeitgeist. You. You weren't invited to the party. And I, it's funny because I had an SNL moment where they wanted me to come in. It was right after Adam had left the show. And I'm sure you guys, you know, remember right around that transition and they were, they were looking at me, they were coming down, see me in the Village. I was just doing gigs down there, going back and forth from Boston and on my way to my audition at snl, I had a full on panic attack. I sat on a bench outside of Rockefeller Plaza and I didn't go in. I actually called my manager, I said, I'm not, I can't do it. And he's like, why? They're all waiting for you. They want to see you. They're looking for something to fill that, you know, that void.
David Spade
Void, yeah.
Dane Cook
And I blew it on the day because I was like too. I also, I also knew from a few friends that had been on the show that it was, that it was more confrontational. And I was very beta at that time. And I was like, I'm not going to be able to fight for skits. I can barely, you know, get my food order out at a, at a, you know, for a waiter at lunch. I'm not going to be able to survive at snl.
David Spade
So two men enter. You see, that's read through.
Dana Carvey
I just want for who's ever listening, young men or whatever. How do you go from a beta to at least your stage Persona became alpha. Alpha. Yeah.
Dane Cook
Yeah. It was interesting because so my, my dad was a B.C. graduate and an all around athlete. You know, he played every sport, he boxed, he was just a stud. And my mom was like, you know, there wasn't an Al Anon meeting that she didn't want to sit in. You know, she was just like real super sensitive, very like introvert. I got a lot of that. I was, I was kind of like an introvert. But inside I was very competitive because of my dad's side. So it wasn't until I got on stage and started feeling like, oh, wait, what if I, what if I took this version of myself and just kind of brought that into the meek Shell inherit the Earth 23 hours of the day and see if I can live in the middle. So that's kind of where it all got built up from.
David Spade
Well, it wasn't getting you anywhere. I mean, especially that SNL thing. Such an interesting story that I was there. I mean, I was still. I stayed a year after Sandler, so I would have been probably someone you would have seen there of my final year. But wow. And how. And don't your people turn their back on you a little after that? Your management agents or. No.
Dane Cook
Yeah, they were not. They were not happy. I definitely felt like I let myself down because you got to realize two years later, I'm, you know, I'm somewhere in, you know, Tampa at a D level gig, and I'm watching Fallon who, you know, you know, got this.
David Spade
Doing what you could have been doing.
Dana Carvey
You were right there with him. You would have been maybe a castmate with him.
David Spade
I don't know.
Dane Cook
Right. I was just, I was out there going, oh, no. I. Oh, wow. I think I, I think I missed out that opportunity. And of course, at that point, there was, there was nothing else. There was just. There was just the next gig where at that point they didn't care that I was coming and they didn't care when I left. It was those gigs.
Dana Carvey
Just a flash in my head. Did you ever play the Rib Tickler in Minneapolis?
Dane Cook
No, I did not.
Dana Carvey
That's a real club. It was kind of a fun club, but it's pretty grim out there when you're, I mean, but at that point, at least in your head, you're going to be a professional. You, we're making a living. You're not leaving. You're just going to find a way. Right. You're not one of those people who quit for a month or something.
Dane Cook
I'm doing, I'm doing a lot of college gigs. I'm.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dane Cook
So at the time I'm out there, I'm. I'm doing a lot of gigs. I remember the, the kind of, the gang that was out there at the time was like, do gigs with Chappelle, Tracy Morgan. Who else was out there at that time? Just a flock of like, you know, great up and coming comedians that were killing it. But I felt like everybody else sort of had a trajectory and mine was already like, you know, every time I walked by that bench at Rockefeller Plaza, I was like, ah, I'm an asshole. I can't believe I screwed it.
David Spade
You're like, I had mental problems before. It was cool. You were way ahead of the game there with add.
Dana Carvey
If you were now, you'd Instagram that or you'd live stream it. I'm right outside Rocket for center. My dreams right there. I can't open the door gang. Full blown panic attack. That would have blown up globally.
David Spade
That probably would have personal day. I blame snl and I'm going to come in there, they owe me. You would get that day back somehow, because it is Tricky to do that. I mean, it's hard because. I'm sorry, I'm going to be answering all your questions for you.
Dane Cook
Please.
David Spade
What it is, is you do that, and now you're going to do Rib Ticklers and all these gigs, which we've all done, and you're going, where am I? What is my goal now? Because I just kind of missed one goal, so it must be tough.
Dane Cook
Oh, yeah, it. It definitely was. I mean, it was like there was. I never wanted to stop, you know, I always was like, okay, I guess there's some other avenue. But it wasn't till like the end of the 90s into, you know, MySpace and social media, that quite literally. Long story short, I was sitting in front of the computer one day, I start posting stuff on MySpace and I just was putting up clips and talking to fans and really, like, just nerding out all day, like, eating Froot Loops and just responding to people full time that were, you know, in between classes. And then finally I remember I saw it go from a few hundred people to like 2,000 followers in. In like, a matter of days. And I was sitting in my office, or I say my office, but I was sitting on a futon, which was also in my kitchen, which was also in a basement.
Dana Carvey
We all had a futon at some point.
David Spade
The dreaded futon is your kitchen.
Dane Cook
And then I finally looked and I was like, damn, dude. I just hit 2,000 followers. And I'm serious when I say. I'm like, I think this is it. I was like, I think I could build, like a little, you know, army through this. And I just didn't let up. For four years. I answered everything that anybody sent me. I would send them links, and you name it. I, like, I was friends with everybody for a while who wrote me and what was.
Dana Carvey
How big did that first wave get? Where did you get to in four years? I mean, this is early, early social media. A hundred thousand or more.
Dane Cook
It was seven. It was seven million followers by the time, you know, MySpace was, say, defunct.
Dana Carvey
But in that seven million, like 2004. Five.
Dane Cook
Yes. Yeah.
David Spade
So what was crazy, that's a billion today.
Dane Cook
It Right. It really. It's almost like being like, you know, on the Celtics in the 80s and realizing, right, those guys probably only made $40,000 a year versus, like, but I could click one button and sell out, you know, you name at that point, like a field house at a college or even a small arena back in 03 04, I could click one click and the algorithm just did it you.
David Spade
Just say, tickets for sale. Going on sale right now.
Dane Cook
Done. No radio, no Good Morning Cincinnati. Like nothing, just click.
David Spade
No zoo crew.
Dane Cook
No zoo crew.
Dana Carvey
You guys, I'm going to use the word oracle pioneer. I think young people listening understand the first, maybe the first human being. I don't know who your peers were, but I know in the world of comedy you started this. So some of the toxicity of social media I kind of put on you.
David Spade
Let's turn this around a little bit. You're a problem.
Dana Carvey
But that's extraordinary. In the meanwhile, I'm just interested in the process of the lane of becoming great, not just good as a standup, you know what I mean? Just that work ethic and all that.
Dane Cook
Those reps. Yeah, well, if you, if you start knowing I can click one button and get everybody's attention, I better be delivering something that's worthy. Because if you have that many people walking away from your shitty thing, right, they're going to tell everybody.
David Spade
So, yeah, sure, you have to be good. There's no way you're doing those gigs and not having satisfied customers because it would. It wouldn't last a minute. You know, of course, everything ebbs and.
Dana Carvey
Flows, but a great mindset is I have to kill. And so that means the weaker bits go overboard. I have to kill. And they're all coming to see me and they're my friends. It's like, so I get the price.
Dane Cook
I would be at the. I'd be in the Village every night and I would try to book six to upwards of 10 gigs in a night so I could work, work, work. I'd be going Cellar, Boston Comedy Club, the wa Come up to Stand Up New York, come back down to Danger Fields, back over to the Cellar for the midnight show. Just do that, that circle man, all night long to try to, you know, figure out what works, what's funny.
Dana Carvey
Okay, that's a lesson number two for young people listening. That's just work.
Dane Cook
What's your demographic here, Dana? When we say young people listening, we're talking 40.
Dana Carvey
No, anything under 60 to 90. Yeah, most. Most of the demographic is 83. I don't know why I come from the 80s.
Dane Cook
We have a all you elderly residents at Mediplex Nursing Home in Lexington. Listen up.
Dana Carvey
Any aspiring standups who've been in it 35 years are having trouble in their mid-50s landing a paying gig. You're getting truth to power here right now. We are cooking it.
David Spade
I like when we have Paul McCartney on and be like, get somebody famous. I'm like, he is famous.
Dana Carvey
I know.
David Spade
Get somebody from TikTok. It's like we try to do both, but you know what I mean? We're like old school, the people that actually did something. And I think TikTok is something and all that stuff is something, but we sort of are more old school about it. But listen, we'll take whatever. We're trying to bend a little bit on this. So you do that. So you're far from Burger King where you worked once. And I fucking still miss Burger King. I love it so much.
Dana Carvey
Did you grow up really just middle class basically, or were you.
Dane Cook
Yeah, yeah, we grew up. I say in my act because I thought we were lower middle class. And I learned in my teens we were upper poor. My mom was just, you know, cleaning. Cleaning toilets and doing housekeeping and just doing anything she could to keep us in a, you know, in a pretty good spot.
David Spade
But yeah, Southy, you Southie.
Dane Cook
We were in Arlington, which I don't even know how we. We managed that, but, you know, we were in the system. We were food stamps and Salvation army used to come over and have to, you know, fill our furnace up with, you know, with oil. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
You were lower middle class. I'm just saying it's where you came from, where you went is always startling, you know.
Dane Cook
Yeah, we. We were like a week to week family. But it was kind of also kind of really. It was really bonkers because, you know, we would. My mom, it took me a lot of years to realize, like my mom just was, you know, full tilt committed to like, even if you're desperate and you your ass out, you gotta like still go for your dreams. So my mom, even though here we are, we're in the system and we're like trying to figure out week to week she'd come home with like a used Corvette and be like, look what I bought. And I was like, how, how can we even do that, Mom? You. Yeah, we can't. She's like, I know we're gonna have to work harder. She would just be like, we gotta all work another job so I can have this, this fun car. And it was just like, she set a precedent, which obviously I took into my standup, which is like, you just gotta. You can have what you want even in the lean years, the tough years, but you gotta work triple overtime. You gotta, you gotta, right? Give it everything.
David Spade
You gotta pay for it. Yeah. We also found out, I just looked up, she did have an only fans.
Dane Cook
She did have only. She would have been doing like a Jane Fonda workout, but, like, in a slinky outfit. Back in.
David Spade
I'm in my Barbarella outfit tonight.
Dana Carvey
I don't want to go on a tangent with. That's funny. I can't get a handle on the money. And onlyfans, this Olympic athlete, I think it's a gymnast from some country. And so she's got 320,000 followers. You had 7 million. But she's monetizing $20 a month. And she's. It's not pornographic, just cute stuff. So it's 6.3 million a year. Loves her new job. So, anyway, that's kind of fascinating, but let's go back to you.
David Spade
Let's go back to our grind of comedy. Now. The. The holidays are coming up. I don't know if you know this, Dana, but it is October, and then.
Dana Carvey
It will be November, and then that's the holiday season.
David Spade
Yeah. They include. We include Halloween. That. So between traveling, having your family around, we've teamed up with Ring, and it's helped them.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
You know, because Ring cameras, which everyone knows. Everyone knows that that's a household product at this point. You want to catch these merry moments because there's a lot. A lot of times I see online there's funny videos, and a lot of them are from Ring cameras. People leave the house, something funny happens. So you always have that. So. But from Ring doorbells that alert you when gifts arrive at the door, to indoor cams that let you check in on pets to see if the creatures are stirring at home.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. You can check in on your lovely.
David Spade
Dog with alarm kits that deliver peace of mind during your holiday travel. Ring has your whole home covered wherever the season takes you. You're always home for the holidays with Ring, and I have, you know, Ring cameras. I think almost everyone does, you know.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. And you can talk to your dog right through Ring.
David Spade
You can do whatever you want. You know, we have people come to the door, and it doesn't even. You don't have to be home. You just talk to them and say, hey, man, you know, just rob the place.
Dana Carvey
If someone's at your door, you know, they're there. I mean, it does seem very good if you, you know, want to stay in touch with loved ones.
David Spade
Yeah. They're easy to install. Even Heather can do it. I can't, but Heather can do it. Who installed.
Dana Carvey
Oh, Heather did.
David Spade
Yeah. He just plug it in. No, you just. You place it anywhere you want. You can have a couple. You know, it turns off the mic. If you want. You can adjust it you know what I mean? And then the old. That's indoors, you could do all that. And then you got the video doorbell, which everyone knows. Yeah, someone's at your door. Bing bong. You hear it. You can answer the door, speak to delivery people.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, right, exactly. You can see a high up and down low with the head to toe video. So you kind of really, you know, and tell them where to leave the packages. What can't it do in terms of this?
David Spade
I like that. Head to toe. That's a good description because I don't want to just see this. I want to see what am I dealing with here. So head to ring.com to find the latest deals on ring video, doorbells, cams and alarms, and shop gifts for everyone on your list. It's a good gift.
Dana Carvey
What was the biggest. I mean, retaliation seemed in 2005 was sort of a rocket. A super rocket.
Dane Cook
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my. That was my second album. And it was kind of funny because when I put the first album out, Comedy Central, who did my record deal, they were like, the comedy album is dead. So they gave me this great bad deal where they were. Because they were like, it's just a calling card, and no one's even. They. I remember they told me in the meeting if. If 8. If you move 8,000 units, you know, pre digital, you know, will be. Will be shocked. And I was telling them, you. I got a lot of fans, man. I got colleges all over the country. So I made a great deal with Comedy Central where I was like, okay, if I sell over a hundred thousand, you'll give me, like $2.50 per album. And they were like, okay, but if you don't, we keep everything. And I was like, deal. And then Retaliation, I think, sold, like, I don't know, 102,000 copies in that first week. And that. That was like a big win for me and my fan because I was like, okay, now I'm putting a little bit of cashola away so I can really live this dream.
David Spade
And they gotta listen. That's crazy, because that. When you can play the. Play that like that, where they don't believe in it and you're like, have almost a secret weapon going, wait, do you guys not. I'm trying to let you.
Dana Carvey
That's a shrewd business move. And that went platinum, right?
Dane Cook
Yeah, yeah. Double plat, man. Double plaid. But I did it as a double album because I knew I would go gold or maybe, you know, possibly, please. Platinum. If you have two discs at a. In a unit. Back then, that counted as. As two sales. So I hit that 500,000. I kind of. It was like my little cheat way in. By doing a double comedy album, I could hit that precedent, you know, sooner if I was going to hit it at all.
David Spade
And was that. I'm sorry to interrupt. Was that because you did Premium blend, which is something I hear in a lot of intros to comics, and I don't. I did half hour, comedy hour, and then there's. We've all done standup, spotlight, you know, evening at the improv. So it's all that kind of stuff. But those can help you blow up a little bit. So did Premium Blend move the needle or what was really the needle mover other than your just doing it on the road?
Dane Cook
Yeah, it was. It was Premium blends. It was, you know, they had like three or four of those kind of like, not stand up, stand up. That was like early 90s. But, you know, those things where they would clipify you.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dane Cook
And then you would end up interstitials or whatever on. On their network, or shorties, watching shorties and all these kinds of things. But more than anything, I want that.
David Spade
I want to be on that more than anything.
Dane Cook
It was. It was like. It didn't occur to me until, you know, I was maybe 26, 27. I was like. I was like, oh, I'm. I'm growing up with a new generation of comedy fans. If I just stay here and expand with these premium blends and stuff, I'm. I'm just gonna build up that, you know, initial squad of. Of familiarity. And I didn't know. I mean, did I know it was going to go to, you know, Madison Square Gardens and all that? No, I hoped it was a dream, but it was definitely, like, when it started happening, I was like, oh, this is gonna. This is going to be in the never been done before business.
Dana Carvey
Unbelievable.
David Spade
Madison Square Bar Garden is such a benchmark for comedians because it's very rare. I think they said Dice did it before you.
Dana Carvey
Well, it was incredibly rare when Dane did it because just Dice and then you. Right. And that was Square Garden.
David Spade
Just.
Dana Carvey
You were the second. And you did two shows in one night or two shows back to back?
Dane Cook
Yeah, I think it was two shows. Yeah. An eight and a ten. Somehow we managed to eight and a ten.
Dana Carvey
It's 20,000.
David Spade
Takes five hours to load them out and in, but. Oh, y'all. Did you do TD Gardens? I'm sure Boston, you would have.
Dane Cook
Oh, yeah.
David Spade
Wanted to do.
Dane Cook
Dude, that was vicious. So, like, spade it was crazy, because Vicious Circle, that was the first arena anything in hbo when they were like, all right, we want to give you your moment. What do you want to do? And I was like, I. I want to see if Marty Cullner, who I was a fan of and I knew, had directed Carlin's first special, 1978, on location, Carlin in the Round. And so I went and pitched hbo, could I meet with Marty and could we do it in the round? And we could. We could do it at Boston Garden, because that's my New England affiliate. All my Fans from now 15 years, they somehow agreed to pay for that and do it. And that was the first arena that I ever played, was that Vicious Circle show. That was the first night I ever played an arena in the round like that.
Dana Carvey
Wow. And I watched that. I watched that when it first came out, and I was like, damn, yeah. This guy. Who is this guy? I mean, the commitment there's the bit you. Is it the one where you do breaking and entering? And someone asked me to ask you this question. Is that a true story where you just say to your friends, let's break an inner somewhere tonight, or was it embellishment of a true story?
Dane Cook
Yeah. No, no. It was cobbled together from two or three different times where what we would do is there was always, like, construction sites and new homes being built around where we were. So we'd sneak through the woods and then we would B and E. We'd get into these places and, you know, whatever, you know, just like. You know, literally just like, hang out in these abandoned or being built homes. And years later, I remember in, like, junior high school, in my first, you know, notebook of, like, possible ideas for sketches, I was like, I got to do something with the. With the B and E. And so that ended up in there.
Dana Carvey
You have something in common with David in that. You don't lean on it. Neither does David, but you both will use sound effects. And you did a lot in that particular bit, sneaking in, opening the door, all that stuff, which is a very effective thing to paint a picture.
David Spade
It's texture.
Dana Carvey
It's. No, it's great. I do it. Everyone does it. It's great.
Dane Cook
Yeah, you're painting. Painting these verbal pictures, and you're trying to use as many, you know, anything. Johnny Carson once said, you know, you use everything. As a comedian, you use everything. Something you did when you were eight, you know, you use every element in stand up. And I guess, you know, that's what we try to do.
David Spade
If you don't have sing. I mean, there's. When you go on SNL or stand up, there's singing, there's playing. Instruments all help and stand up. You know what I mean? If you can put that into a bit, it helps some noise, helps anything. Also jokes, also the verbal. It's all combined. You're like, this is a highly competitive business. If I have one thing I can do, use it to help a bit. Yeah, that all use it. That's. Is that right? When you did SNL because you hosted twice, Is that in two years?
Dane Cook
I. I forget what someone told me. It was like the end of one season, and I think I'm either back to back host because I opened the next season. It was like, I ended the season, then maybe it was one. And then I. It was like almost like within three episodes. I hosted twice.
David Spade
Shit. Get more famous. My God, I knew. I mean, that's rare. I mean, this year, I mean, Nate did it last year as a comedian. Nate Pagazzi, like, I don't know, maybe March, I don't know when. But then he came back this year. So even under a year is pretty remarkable, I think, when I was there, you know, because you could pick anybody. So it's very hard to get a double invite like that.
Dane Cook
Just to be able to finally do it, though, after the. The Bench incident years earlier and to finally be asked to, you know, come on there and host, man, it was like. And then to be able to even just share it with you guys, like, I don't want to geek out too much, but it's very cool because growing up watching you guys and continue to. And then there I was, I missed my moment, but I got a second chance at, like, being a part of your world in. In a way. Yeah, you know, that was the show in seventh grade. That really, for me, it was a Martin Short moment. I remember watching Martin Short do Ed Grimley. And I think that night, that episode with, you know, all of you guys and all the shenanigans, I was like, I think I kind of belong around these people. I think that's where I gotta go.
David Spade
Devin, how'd you get past the Bench? When you came and hosted, did you hit the.
Dana Carvey
Did you tell Lauren about the Bench incident? Did you tell anyone about.
Dane Cook
I told him because at the time when they first were looking at me, you know, from what I understood, they, he, you know, he was familiar. I was on the radar. And so, you know, I reminded him and said, I don't know, I. I probably kept a slot available for you guys that day because I didn't come in when you guys wanted me to. But he didn't, he didn't care too much about that.
Dana Carvey
And who was. Who were your playmates then? I was Tina Fey still. There was Fallon. There was sort of a question when you're hosting.
Dane Cook
Yeah. And Andy was there and Bill. Bill Hader was on the come up and Kristen Wiig. I got to do some. A Target sketch, you know, with her. Yeah, man, it was, it was, it was fun. You know, Don Pardo was still there for the first time. I came through. So I got pictures with him in the hall and got to hear him say, yeah.
Dana Carvey
It was, it was.
Dane Cook
I got to feel like I was horrible in a couple of things. I remember just coming off a couple of sketches being like, whoa, that was bad. Okay. I hope the next one's better because that one I.
Dana Carvey
You're talking about the air show. That. Not the practice show. The air show.
Dane Cook
Yeah, yeah, the air shows. I remember something.
David Spade
Oof.
Dane Cook
Something missed the mark. And how can we describe that? That feeling in your body when you know you're missing and you just gotta keep going.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I know with standup you can call an audible. Mayday, mayday. And go to crowd work or switch up your best bit, but you're locked into a sketch and everybody's been in sketches that die there. Everybody.
Dane Cook
How about when you're. How about when you're in a sketch and you know you're dying and then you lose the fake voice that you're trying to do.
Dana Carvey
Right. You can't say you. What happened to this guy? Hey, what am I doing here? Where do we go? Funny.
David Spade
Yeah, Terrifying. It's like, you know, you're closing. I was on the road. You got like a six minute closer and you needed to get to your time. You start it, they're not buying it. You're like, I think I have to do this whole fucking bit because I have nothing left and I've got to do this. And now I'm locked in and you're scrambling for a way out. That's a sketch. And you know everyone else is relying on you. Eyes are darting. You're like, oh, this is when you have your ender.
Dana Carvey
What you think is your ender to a five minute bit and it gets nothing. So that, that, that, that, that. And just like crickets.
Dane Cook
Dana. Dana. I remember times I'd be on the road, the opening bit would miss so bad. I'd go to my ender second.
David Spade
Oh, you closer.
Dane Cook
The bed. I was like, what Do I do for the next 35 minutes?
David Spade
Holy shit. I was thinking the other day, have you ever done this? We always talk about when you're a stand up and you're. You're bombing and there's something really rewarding about you slowly get them back. It happens sometimes on corporate gigs. You're not really paying attention, but then you slowly. By the end, you're getting them and it's really fun. The thing that's worse is you're killing and you're losing them somehow. And you're like, what's going on? I was killing. And that's the sickest feeling, is you're like. You miss three bits in a row and you're like, how I cannot lose these people. There's no way. So weird. And it happens.
Dana Carvey
Big room. You know, Richard, what I do, famous.
Dane Cook
You want to stop and be like, honestly, sincerely, what did I do? Where did you.
David Spade
Yeah, exactly. Lose your friends or. I sometimes go, guys, you were the ones that laughed at the dog joke. Where are you? And they're like, ah, that was funny. This stuff sucks.
Dana Carvey
But Richard Pryor said, don't reflect the energy of the audience. If they're going down, then you just get louder. You never sort of start to get into their rhythm and, you know, And I don't see Dane doing that.
Dane Cook
But I did a gig with. It was me, Bill Burp, Patrice O'Neill, a few guys. It was like dinner theater gig 95 and a guy. You hear the utensils rattling. People are eating. All you hear is like, you know, the people getting chewed right. Glass is being refilled with way too much ice. You're like, do you need that much icing your water, really? You need arctic level ice right now and everything noisy. Bill Burr's on stage and you know, Bill, whatever, he's like trying to. He's trying to wrangle them. And a guy in the very back who wasn't having it threw a. Threw a buttered biscuit through the air. And the buttered biscuit hit butter side up and just stuck to Burr's head right here like a buttered biscuit unicorn.
Dana Carvey
Bill Burr stuck wrong right here. I'm getting in with a fucking biscuit over here stuck in my head.
David Spade
He's listening right now, going, fuck you guys.
Dana Carvey
Hi, Bill. But it'll never miss fun.
Dane Cook
Now to talk about the. I've been thinking I'd like to do like some kind of. Well, I guess it is podcasting, but it'd be fun to do like a documentary with just Kind of like worst, worst hell gig moment. Worst. What's the worst thing that ever happened on stage where you left and you were like, why? Why am I doing this?
Dana Carvey
Okay, that's. That was my next question for you.
David Spade
Was that it for you or was there worse?
Dana Carvey
The most humiliating worst.
Dane Cook
I had. I had a stage collapse. I used to be like. I was really like huge high energy, you know, the first 10 years. So I was like a whirling dervish. I'm like, I'm the Tasmanian devil of comedy. And I'm sweating within four minutes and it's just. And I'm on a stage at the University of Rhode island. And it. And it. It was one of those makeshift ones that they kind of made for the show that you feel like it's always moving a little underneath you. The legs collapsed and the whole stage went. And I slid into the people in the front row, like under the chairs. I ended up under them. And that was pretty humiliating because then I'm like, how do I. Where do I go from there? Ten minutes in, after I've start dervish whirling again.
Dana Carvey
You might find this funny.
Dane Cook
Stage legs.
Dana Carvey
Anybody ever said this before? But there was a comedian, Rick Reynolds, who was. He's great. Anyway, and Rick would. He went up one night and sometimes the audience would razz him. So he went up. He wanted to kill. He was all fluffed and folded. It was at the improv in San Diego or something.
David Spade
Yeah, for sure.
Dana Carvey
And then within two minutes, I looked out and he was waiting into the audience, fighting them left, right. He wanted them to love them. He's a big guy. He wanted them to love him. But within 90 seconds, he was doing roundhouses to the front row. I thought that was one of the greatest turns in life.
David Spade
He wore pants with flames on him. That guy.
Dana Carvey
If you won't love me, I'll beat the shit.
David Spade
You don't like that joke. How about now?
Dane Cook
There was a. There was a gig in. There was a gig in downtown Boston where somebody projectile vomited during the show.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Dane Cook
Into the back of the head of the person in front of them. I wasn't on stage, but I was watching the comic. And then the person who had thrown up was the best because they throw up. And everybody's like. You just hear, oh. And then that drunk person who threw up just went, keep going, keep going.
Dana Carvey
Like, like, still really nice about it.
David Spade
Never fell like, let's get the attention off me. It's all.
Dana Carvey
It's okay. I'm sorry. I love you, Dane.
Dane Cook
I did Almost pass out. Live on air. At Saturday Night Live, though, during my first appearance, I. They did a sketch where I was wearing an oversized sweater, holiday sweater, and it had all these. I don't know how they made it, but it had. Had all these real pieces of like, you know, lint the huge. And yeah, during rehearsal, they were. They were like floating around. Like, you could see them in the air. And what happened during rehearsal was I breathed in and one of these big lint balls went into my throat. And suddenly, if you ever got like a thing of cotton in your throat, I couldn't breathe. Oh, God, I was terrified because I was like. And I'm. I'm trying to, you know, get it out. Then during the live, I see them all floating around me, and I'm so scared that I'm gonna breathe one of these things in that. If you watch the sketch, I'm just doing this randomly to keep swatting, let me tell you, just to keep lint balls from flying your gullet.
David Spade
Trying to do your German accent for the sketch.
Dana Carvey
That is one thing about comedy and Saturday Night Live in particular. Like, I was doing a club once and I just bit my tongue and I'm just bleeding. And now Dan and Flarfo, you know, stuff like that. Or you're Charlie Horse or you slam your sh.
David Spade
And I. There's so many things you feel sleep.
Dana Carvey
And you gotta go up there in pain.
David Spade
I mean, you have to take a dump. They're introducing you.
Dane Cook
They're like, oh, giant boner.
David Spade
Yeah, I always have a boner.
Dana Carvey
David, at this time of year, I'm just going to say this and you can, you know, say whatever you want. Or of course, maybe you're looking back on all the amazing memories you have from 2024, especially if you are in love. Maybe you already looking ahead to your plans in 2025. I'm doing a French hack sack.
David Spade
Good.
Dana Carvey
I'm doing a French accent because that's the language you love. And maybe, just maybe, those plans involved getting engaged.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
I knew that.
Dana Carvey
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
That's $50 off with code FLY@blue nile.com blue nile.com Michelle Nope, it's not, not about you. Just, it'll be a surprise.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
What about these movies? I'm gonna tell me if these movies sound familiar. Do you recognize any of these names? Employee of the Month Good luck. Chuck, my best friend. So you're starting to get a ton of movies because I remember you were getting one almost probably every year they were coming out. Any favorites or any ones?
Dane Cook
It was kind of cool because that was just, it was like I came up with these directors, producers that, you know, were just fans, had probably seen me years ago and like, whatever, shitty gigs. But now they're you Know, fans, and they're like, on the come up. So they, you know how it is. They kind of like go, like, all right, I'm on the come up. I want to. I want to, you know, do something with you, you know, your comic that I entertained me coming up. So it was really fun. Definitely felt like I had a great era through. It was really Lionsgate, like eight Lionsgate films I think I did in a row. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Wow.
Dane Cook
Yeah, it was. It was a blast, man. It. I will tell you, like, when you hit that, you know, when you're hitting, hitting your stride and you're the bell of the ball in that moment before, you know, haterade and the spanking machine, you know, has to knock at your door when you're at that. That moment and you're getting the adulation and you're not in Jeers in TV Guide. You're in Cheers in TV Guide.
David Spade
Oh, right.
Dane Cook
It's. It's awesome, man. It was a good run. I had a good Cheers.
David Spade
This is so funny.
Dana Carvey
Who was your favorite director or favorite co star? And you had favorite shepherd in there? Kate Hudson.
Dane Cook
Oh, man.
Dana Carvey
Who's hotter, Kate Hudson or Jessica Alba?
Dane Cook
I got to work with all the Jessica's. I think that. I think working with Kevin Costner on a drama I did called Mr.
Dana Carvey
Yes. I saw that movie, loved it in.
Dane Cook
That the time of my life.
David Spade
I got to work with Stud.
Dane Cook
I got to work with Diane Weiss, John Mahoney, and a great gang of people on Dan. In real life, Steve Carell led.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, saw that too.
Dane Cook
I got to do, like, comedy stuff that was just like my version of Vacation or my version of the comedies Stripes. And then I got to do some stuff that was ancillary but to me, just as rewarding because it was so, like, different. It was just stuff that was different from comedy. So it was cool.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, of course. Who has that? I mean, so. So just pause for a second in your existence. So you're doing these films. You've got all these specials and albums and millions and you're getting really wealthy and really famous. Did it go to. I mean, how did you respond to that? Just work harder. Were you kind of numb to it or were you sort of. What are you.
Dane Cook
Yeah, it was like, all I ever wanted to do is take what I earned and put it back into creativity. So I didn't have, like. I was just a jeans and T shirt guy. I wasn't living. I leased my car. I wasn't doing anything that was, you know.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Dane Cook
You know what I mean? I wasn't trying to like, live this, you know, lavish lifestyle. I just really wanted to go, okay, if I can take this money and make the stuff that I want to make with my, with, with my, you know, gang coming up. But you know, unfortunately things sometimes get in the way. I'm, I've just finished a two year documentary where I can't talk too much about it, but basically I had to put my own brother in prison in, oh, nine, because pretty much the life savings that I had up until then, he had stolen. Him and his wife were basically like behind the scenes taking everything that I'd earned. All those movies, all those arena shows, and they were, they were investing it for me in terrible investments. But in that threw off my plan a little bit because that went from me being able to self finance and kind of sustain outside of Hollywood.
David Spade
Oh, you're right, I'm back on the road. You could.
Dana Carvey
So you literally went back to essentially zero. I'm not saying you didn't have 10 bucks in your pocket, but basically millions and millions of dollars goes missing and you can't get it back. I know you have a documentary, but.
Dane Cook
Millions of dollars gone. The doc will come out next year. And basically what I'm sharing in the doc is not only like what that year of court cases was like going up against, you know, my brother, but it was really like, how can I. I'm coming off of the. I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm no longer on that trajectory. In fact, I, for that era, it was a pretty, it was a pretty good run. So now I'm coming down the other side. Things are cooling and we're just hitting.09. We're going to hit this terrible economy housing crisis and, and I now have a decision to make. I could take the little bit of money that I have remaining and I can invest it in renting arenas myself because no promoter in that era wanted a front because of the economy. So I spent a year taking anything I had in renting. Like I was renting arenas like they were Elks Lodges. I was calling arenas. Can I rent it on a Tuesday? How much? 60 grand. All right. And I would set the ticket price. And then my goal was at the end of that year, I want to be able to recoup what he took. So when I see him in court, I'm not looking at him like feeling like I'm under his thumb still. So that was a wild couple of years, man, because I went from rags, riches, rags, and then I had to figure out a way to kind of have my own little Rocky 2 moment.
Dana Carvey
Did they? I. I'm sorry, don't. Don't answer these questions. I know the documentary is coming out, but I'm just curious. Were they incompetent by investing it and losing it, or were they actually embezzling it and enhancing that?
David Spade
You're just not aware they're doing anything.
Dane Cook
Yeah, it's like both, Dana. They were like doing some things that enhanced. They were doing some things willy nilly that were. When you see it, you're gonna. It the. Let me tell you, this is what I'm proudest about.
David Spade
I will watch it the doctor.
Dane Cook
If we did our job right, it's like it's. It's going to be slotted in true crime and comedy because there's a lot of funny shit. But also it's. It's pretty harrowing. The level of, you know, sociopath and megalomaniac. And the guy that I grew up with that I love. My best friend, my older brother. Like, when you see who this guy was in this doc, you're going to. You won't believe where this goes. It gets dark, man. Yeah. I didn't even tell you the dark part. That's just what happened to me. Everything that kind of was happening already a lot.
David Spade
Well, also, when people get a little more money, they get a little more fame and you get a tighter circle because it's very hard because everyone's grabbing at you and so you really only have a handful of people that you trust. And when that happens, that's mentally. That's such a kick in the ass because you're like, wait, I can't even turn to my family.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. And resentment. From jealousy to actual resentment. David had his own issues with that, but it's kind of hit hiding in plain sight. And that would. Besides greed, but resentment. Because now his little brother, this is just biblical, is a superstar. And so he. I don't know is. Well, is he. How's your relationship now? Or is he in the documentary?
Dane Cook
Or. Okay, you'll have to wait and see on that.
Dana Carvey
Okay, that's good. I mean, I want you to. I'm going to watch this.
David Spade
It's a good teaser already. I'm into it.
Dane Cook
I've stayed close with my nephew, his son. I was always close with him. He was 15 when it happened. I'm still really close with my brother's son today. The. The doc gets into kind of where things are at now. But realistically, yes, like in that moment of like Whole crush depth level of despair. This is the weird thing I, the gigs are still, the fans show up. The gigs are outstanding. Even though the economy is like people are trusting me with a couple of their last dollars right now in this time. But like I remember even though I was, I was so busted up, I still just loved comedy so much that it, I, it's, this is going to sound like so kind of hokey, but it just saved my life because I loved laughter in that time and I knew, even in the that moment I knew I was like, someday, I don't know if it's going to be in 10 or 20 years. This story is awesome. This story because it's, it's what happened. It's like a downfall moment. Everybody loves downfall. It's a comeback moment. Everybody loves to come back showbiz moment. It's a high. How did I do it on my own? I'm self made. But then this thing happens. My brother's the devil and I remember sitting in it being like, I don't know when I'm going to talk about it, but someday this will be the best story I ever tell. So I can't wait to talk about this next year with you guys.
Dana Carvey
We've heard stories around this idea. Like Doris Day's husband died, she was doing sitcoms. There is no money, it's all gone. But nothing quite like this. So you have two right now. Nobody, no comedian went on MySpace and really kind of hacked the idea of social media and just have a million followers. And now this is your second one.
David Spade
And now you're out there still doing it. I saw Dane a week ago at the improv. So you're still getting to do what you like to do. This is a story that happened and you have to just keep moving, of course. So nothing you can do but just keep moving and keep making money and doing what you like. Yeah, it's.
Dana Carvey
And did you get more popular? Because I was going to go to this like, this idea of like being handsome and alpha like the surrogate boyfriend David. I'm talking to David now. But you know what, you're Brent, where you were and also a great stand up and a millionaire. And so comedians are easily jealous and stuff like that. You know, like I had a health issue in the 90s and I got more compliments and that guy's great. You know, did people suddenly kind of. You're awesome. You know, because people that get these are just, you know, human emotions.
David Spade
You mean when he's a little down, are they finally being Cool about.
Dana Carvey
Well, you might find people going this is a brilliant stand up and you get more stuff because it's, you know, you're no longer.
Dane Cook
You find out who your friends are so quick, you know, and that and that well put and that everything lead. Listen, I, I even knew when I was on the come up because it wasn't like it was overnight, it was, you know, it was a long kind of trajectory. I, I already had like my Boston cronies, my friends who are just regular folks away from the industry. I've never felt like I'm really a. I'm in it, but I'm not of it. You know, I'm out here because I like the clubs and. But I've never quite felt that let down by it because I knew it's, that's the mechanism. You know, they build you up, knock you down and then it's up to you to figure out like what's really. How do I own my own IP and how do I get to my audience? All that other stuff. I don't. It didn't really rattle me to the core as much as stuff that happened with my, you know, with my brother.
David Spade
If you can remember that you're not quite as good as they say you are at the point when you're at the zenith and then you're not as bad as they you are. You're like, I've always been what I think is pretty good. So if I. They say I'm great, I'm like, I don't buy into all that. I had, I had a friend that wasn't a yes man and he would keep telling me I'm not some ass kisser, you know, I'm not. I'm your friend. I'll tell you when you're bad and I'm always going to tell you you're bad. That's what a good friend I am. You're never good. I go, well, you could be a sometimes maybe man or maybe a yes man. No, no, it's always a no man. You're not good. I'm like, wow, you're such a valuable person in my life. I think it'll go the other way.
Dana Carvey
I feel bad about saying that I am that friend he's talking about. I apologize. But I kind of relate to you in that way. I feel I'm outside the thing. I'm not in the party scene and I never really cared. I'm mostly possessed with doing something funny. Truly. It sounds self congratulatory. I also was an introverted extrovert. And also had a lane of real competitiveness, but plain fair about it. But, yeah, just see a guy kill. I want to kill like that. You know, that kind of thing.
Dane Cook
Yeah, it's. It's what's so, you know, there's no playbook. And also too, like, then you make it. And I think the hardest part was like, I made it. And then the group of guys that I was around at the time, they. They think you're different. They want to make it. They're not feeling so good about where they're at. And you know what's so funny is like, you. You looking at, like, at a time when I broke through, you know, I remember talking to, you know, Bill Burr outside the Live Factory. He's like, ah, man, when's my ship gonna come in? It's like, look, when a ship came in, it came in. It's like he had his moment. He's still in his moment. And you go like, you don't know, man. You got to hang in there. You just get to keep duking it out. And you hope that on the other side of it, you just have great people around you that will give you shit when you have a great moment. And we'll talk you up when, like, you realistically need a little bit of help.
Dana Carvey
Well, obviously, it's the error of the personal career outside of the mainstream Hollywood. Tom Segura and Bill Kreischner and all these guys who are Nate Bergazzi, they. They try to get him to do a sitcom. He's like, what's in it for me? Or whatever. Not Nate, but a game show or something. But you just. It's kind of what you've done. You know, you've maintained danecook.com or just inc.
Dane Cook
They pitched Borgahtzy. A game show of Yahtzee. Like Borgotzi. Yahtzee. What do you think they brought? Right bore Yahtzee.
David Spade
I have to get off the podcast and produce that.
Dana Carvey
I'll show you a text that was exactly what they did.
David Spade
I'll show you Borgiatz. I think Nate is not a bad idea.
Dana Carvey
It's funny, I don't remember they were pitching him something, but he already is. Nate Bergazzi Inc. You know, he get.
David Spade
To be a brand. He's like a clean brand, which is very rare. So I think that will keep working for him.
Dane Cook
The game show, they pitch great. They pitched me, you know, they try to get me in the game show at the time. And it was. I think it was called Mr. Mr. Mr. Whiz I think was going to be the name of the game show Mr. Wiz.
David Spade
What about Dane cooking show?
Dana Carvey
How about gotta take a pee?
Dane Cook
The great game show cooking show.
Dana Carvey
Well, obviously they're circling cooking show because your name's they. They pitched me a car show because car V that, you know, can you.
David Spade
Drop the VA and just be like, can you just be Dana Carr? It'll help the show. Well, the holiday season is almost here. Are you ready to celebrate? There's still time to create space for overnight guests with all the comforts of home, even the surprise ones.
Dana Carvey
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
I do think, you know, just it's an interesting emotional event, violent ride. Because I'm doing some visits on SNL right now and seeing the young people with big eyes, you know.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Trying to break live.
Dane Cook
You crushed it. That was awesome, man. That was. And allow me to say, I thought you were the best part of that whole opening. I thought everybody was great, but you just like, it's that moment where you feel like somebody just came in and took it to another level. It was awesome to see that cold opening.
David Spade
When he came in at the end, I was like, this is great. Because they don't know he's coming.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
David Spade
Everywhere they turn, it's another celebrity. They're like, that guy. And they're like, oh, fuck, here comes Dana.
Dane Cook
And you hit and you hit on every. You know where. I think I see like where you want to hit. Like, I felt like you hit on every line that you wanted to hit.
Dana Carvey
That one felt good. First one's a little nerve wracking. But then I. It's become a character. It's Mr. Magoo. It's Tim Conway. It's fanciful. Yeah, there's definitely, you know, hey, you're not here. I'll come right back.
David Spade
Yeah, she's standing there. It's great.
Dana Carvey
I'm Just coming on to it. I did little YouTube clips on this show, but nothing. Now it's really fun to do. Full three dimensional.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And you would probably appreciate this, being a host, is that we go out now and we shake Lauren's hands and I'm in the Biden get up. That was for the second show. So I do it just a giant hop. Skipping is whatever I can get out of my body. Sprint across the studio, dress as Biden because it gets my headspace into laughing.
Dane Cook
Yeah, yeah.
Dana Carvey
They're looking at me as hyperactive Biden. But anyway, but that's, it's, it's. It's a lot of fun. Thank you. Tells you, gives you a compliment. It really matters. Somebody who's been there knows what Biden.
David Spade
Training, like, Rocky to come back and run again, and he just gets stronger and stronger and he's running with a log on his back and just.
Dana Carvey
He's just punching a guy. And guess what? And by the way, punch. Guess what?
David Spade
You actually are very active. You could. You could pull that shit off.
Dane Cook
I think that what, like, a lot of people don't realize is that comedians in these moments that, like, you guys are sharing on this podcast or even just the backstage at the store or wherever, like, that is kind of the. That's like the best part of the show is great shows like the frosting on the cake of the day, but the correspondence with comedians and what. What gets us off and what makes us really laugh about a set or what went wrong and nobody cares. But other comics like that minutia. I'll tell you a quick thing about, like, Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis was my. I became, love it. Friends with Jerry Lewis in the last eight years of his life. He was my mentor. He was a really good guy to me. He definitely, in that dark moment coming out of, like, my brother, you know, the industry kind of doesn't care about me at that point. My moment's over. I'm coming off of this, you know, terrible. And all of a sudden I get a phone call out of the blue inviting me down to see Jerry Lewis documentary Method of the Madness set down at Paramount. I'm miserable. I'm literally in, like, a rut. But I'm like, I grew up loving Jerry. I never met him. I don't know Jerry Lewis.
Dana Carvey
I got absolute genius.
Dane Cook
Genius. Like, you know, he conquered the world for a decade. It was really, you know, you know, Martin and like, Jerry Lewis is like the Bieber of comedy. The Jimmy Carrey, you know, Sandler car.
Dana Carvey
Sandler, Carrie all in one. Nutty professor is one of the greatest comedies ever made.
Dane Cook
So I sit there and I, you know, I go. And after the presentation, I didn't know Jerry Lewis is going to be there. He gets up in front of everybody at Paramount. The first thing he says, he. I'm sitting in the fourth row with my buddy Richard, and we're just watching and he. He goes. And he's 82 at the time, and he gets up there and he goes, where's Dane Cook? First thing he says. And I can't believe it. I can't fathom it, because I'm hearing the voice that I grew up loving saying my name.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Dane Cook
And then he goes, I wanna know where Dane Cook is. And I'm like. I don't even know how to stand. I'm half standing. I'm like. And I think I said, jerry, I love you. That's all I could think to say. I go, just, jerry, I love you. And he goes, I want to talk to you, my boy, after. And so I go and I meet Jerry Lewis after he takes my phone number, he starts calling me. Every Sunday, he calls me. Hello, it's the Jew in the desert calling. Dane Cook, my boy. And I start this friendship and mentor, you know, Sundays with Jerry, basically. But I would go on the road with him because he's still touring. 85, 86, 87. I promise I'm getting to a point with this story, which is about, like.
Dana Carvey
Oh, I'm loving every second of this story.
Dane Cook
So. So I'm. And I'm. And I'm seeing. I've just everything about Jerry. I'm seeing him perform. And every night, Jerry would do a thing where at the end of his performance, he do the typewriter. And he's doing.
David Spade
I love it.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah.
Dane Cook
He's just doing this for like a hour.
Dana Carvey
The pantomime. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dane Cook
It's mental.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Dane Cook
But after that, he would do a Q A. He'd do a Q A, and the Q a was always 40 minutes. And he'd sit in his chair and you could go up to the mic, ask Jerry Lewis a question. And on this particular night, two things that, like, this is who I think we all are as comedians in our heart. What Jerry. What happened to and from Jerry? This. On this night. And it gave me permission for the rest of my career to be like, I'm a madman. I'm convoluted. I can be a lot of things all at once. And Jerry just proved that I'll never not be those things. Here's what happened. So he's up there, he finishes all the stuff. And first a woman comes up, and she goes. She's so excited to speak to Jerry Lewis. And, you know, he's. He's, you know, he's got all these, you know, spine problems at this point. His hands were doing the typewriter for so many years.
Dana Carvey
They're just like little T. Rex hands. Little T. Rex hands.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dane Cook
He's always kind of like, you know, surly. And if you know anything or if you ever had the chance to share space with him. There's something kind of scary, King of comedy about Jerry, but also very, like, just like, boyish and beautiful, but something kind of intimidating. So he's in the chair and his tongue's going, and he's spinning like he's looking for the shark off the back.
David Spade
Of a boat jacked on Prednisone.
Dana Carvey
We're. Dana's doing a very interesting, very physical act. Out is like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. T. Rex typewriter. Jerry Lewis. Okay, continue.
Dane Cook
So the first thing that. This is great. So the woman comes out, and she's so heartfelt, and she goes, jerry, I just want to say that in 1972, you did a film called the Beach Cottage. And when I watched the Beach Cottage, I was so moved. And there was a scene on the beat. And I'm watching Jerry, and he's like. He's just going back and forth, rocking. I think he's gonna, like, break the wood chair that the director's chair he's sitting on. Because I can hear it creaking. Because he's going back and he's turning it into a rocking chair, even though it's a static chair. And she finishes her statement, and Jerry goes like this. She goes, can you speak to anything about that experience in this film? That it moved me. It. It really enhanced my young life. Please, anything you remember about the film? And Jerry goes. I guess. He goes, that movie sucked, and I sucked in it.
David Spade
Her dreams are crushed.
Dane Cook
Mortified. She's literally, like, backs away from.
Dana Carvey
Wow.
David Spade
Oh, my God.
Dane Cook
So this. This moment happens, Andre. And then all of a sudden, the. The liaison who, after 40 minutes comes out, and we're like, 23 minutes in or whatever, and says, ladies and gentlemen, one more time for Mr. Jerry Lewis. And Jerry looks at this person, and then Jerry is taken off stage. I go backstage, and Danielle, his daughter, is there, and she's like, he is. He is fit to be tied, and he only wants to talk to you, and he's in the back of a room where everybody wants to meet him, and he's sitting alone at a table, but nobody's approaching Jerry.
David Spade
Where's Dane?
Dane Cook
Where's Dane Cook? I grew up with a. You know what it is? I never was intimidated. I grew up with an alcoholic father, and I think I always kind of liked that weird energy. I was never, like, scared of it.
Dana Carvey
Energy. Yeah.
Dane Cook
I walk up to Jerry, and he's eight now. He's 88. Eight years old. And I'll never forget this man. He just looked at me, and he grabbed me really tight by the arm, and he goes, I had 15 more minutes. They lit me early. And he was so upset that he didn't get to finish his time. I go, I think your career is going to be fine, Jerry. You've conquered the world. You've done everything. And he just wanted 15 more minutes of Q and A, and he was robbed of it. And it was like.
David Spade
Got the light early.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
David Spade
Was that a mistake or they just want them all?
Dane Cook
I don't know. I don't know. But he was so livid. And it was like. It was a gift. Because I'm like. When we're talking and we're in these moments, and for people listening, like, to me, it was just like, oh, we're all such unique creatures, comedians. And we all have permission to spin as much as we want as long as we get those little nuggets of comedy, you know, gold when we're on stage.
David Spade
Yeah. Yeah. Getting off early would be also. God, the other night, I was. This is not as good as that story. Of course, it sucks.
Dana Carvey
That's great.
David Spade
That's a good one. But I had a corporate gig. I think I told Dana Migo, we have a countdown clock out there for you. You do? 45. And I was like, okay. And that's kind of the typical corporate. Used to be an hour, but 45 is, believe me, enough. So it's always the end of their day. We had Dana, and I always laugh.
Dane Cook
Oh, no.
Dana Carvey
They get up at 6 and.
David Spade
And you could be a surprise. They're like. They're starting to leave. They're like, oh, this guy. So it's. Yeah, they're usually pretty good. But Anyway, so it's 45, and these things are like. This one was 11,000 people, and they got, like, stopwatches, headsets, backstage. All right, they're gonna get her off. You're almost on. You have 90 seconds to get up. So they push me out there, and I'm getting my bearings, and I dart down to the clock. And it goes 59, 58. I'm like, wait is an hour, and then it's going down. And I'm like, I thought it was counting up. And then I go, am I supposed to do 45? And you can't ask anyone. Now I might go, do they want an hour? Because it's a different set. Like, I have to change.
Dane Cook
Yeah.
David Spade
And then I go, I'm sticking to my 45, and it's not going 1 to 45. So now it's at, like, 28.
Dana Carvey
I'm like, going to 15.
David Spade
28 is supposed to be.
Dana Carvey
What would it.
David Spade
Because, you know, I'm glancing over between my bit about falling out of window and my hilarious. I don't want to give the whole.
Dana Carvey
Act away, but, you know, I love that window bit.
David Spade
So, you know, you're just going, I don't want to do this math. Am I even close to being. I don't know.
Dana Carvey
Anyway, well, I'll give it my. The best thing you can hear at a corporate date. The CEO had a little too much to drink and he went over, I'm supposed to do an hour. Could you do 35? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you okay with that? And then you fake like you're mad. I don't know. Maybe they could sweeten the pot. I'm sweet. It should be a little female. More carrot sticks in my green room.
Dane Cook
I'll tell you what. I'll land the plane to 28 minutes. How about that?
David Spade
Is that go even shorter? Yeah. Yeah. Because you've been great. Do you mind if the CEO meets you for one photo? I'm like, I always hear a lot of comics won't do this. I go, who the is saying no? They paid you. You're there. Like, yeah. Oh, can you take a picture of this daughter? No, that's not my deal. I'm like, yeah, get her back here. Get anyone back here. I don't.
Dane Cook
Does it cut into your time if we did this raffle? It's ten minutes. Like, please. I'll open with the rat. Like, please, yes.
Dana Carvey
Four hungry children. And would you mind staying on stage and picking the raffle? Really would help the. No. Should we.
David Spade
Do we have to call your agent?
Dana Carvey
Why do people do corporate dates and then just angrily fight the whole process? Don't pick the ticket, but once you are in there, just say yes. Say yes. Because you say yes to 100 autographs and then use or pictures. Sorry, 1940s. And you say no to 101, you're an asshole. So always go to the end and say yes.
Dane Cook
Oh, right. Yeah. You get in there, you know, it's like, I'll put on the uber eat shirt. Whatever you need.
David Spade
Like, yeah, let's go.
Dane Cook
I'll wear an apron.
Dana Carvey
Could get me in a headlock as church lady.
David Spade
We did a contest to see who one of our employees of the month can kick you in the nuts. Is that fine? I'm like, get her up there, you know? Anyway, Dane, thank you for talking to us. Anything else, Dana? This guy's got a very interesting.
Dana Carvey
I just wanted.
Dane Cook
The tour is on now.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah. Okay, here we go.
David Spade
So you.
Dana Carvey
New Flavor. Fresh New flavor tour. Dane dancook.com. and he's. You're going out for a few months and you're going all over the place.
Dane Cook
Yeah, Fresh New Flavor tour the rest of the year. All beautiful theaters only. So we've been at the Beacon. We got. We did the Chicago theater, Fox theater. Coming up, beautiful theaters across the country. And then Gritty and Pink is my new special. And that'll be out in the spring.
David Spade
No, I like that.
Dana Carvey
Gritty and Pink. What a cool name. David's doing a special. We'll just end with this. Have you picked a name yet or you're waiting?
David Spade
No, I'm waiting because I really obviously good at names.
Dana Carvey
What would David Special.
Dane Cook
You need help.
David Spade
I know. Let's brainstorm because I have a couple. And then I go, I'll wait because you know what? You don't have to name it the day you shoot it. So I'm lucky because it's a week away. I can wait till it's getting closer.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, but Rackham is not going to do it because that. David loves to say that. Say Rackham the way you do it.
David Spade
Oh, if there's a joke, you do a joke and someone. You go, hey, Dana, I saw you and you were with your mom. Ha ha.
Dane Cook
Rackham.
David Spade
It really puts people like they're in their place. They have nothing to do. They can't.
Dana Carvey
It's such a funny observation of the alpha of saying Rackham after you've cleared the debts. Jackie Gleason, Paul Newman, Minnesota fat.
David Spade
Put that eight ball in.
Dane Cook
Before you guys disconnect me, I gotta say this sincerely because we've always sort of traveled different circles. And I know David, we've, you know, been on same stages. But this really. Even though I. I approached David, I said, I hope if, at some point, if you guys ever, you know, need a guest to fill in, you have a dropout. It just meant a lot for me to be able to come on here and say, like, you guys have brought me a lot of entertainment. And you guys also have been cool to work alongside, even though we maybe didn't always end up in the same backstage. So I appreciate you guys.
Dana Carvey
Well, I was always a fan. And this podcast, your energy, the story is it. You made our job really easy.
David Spade
Very entertaining.
Dana Carvey
It was. It was great. You're gonna like it.
David Spade
And I just had a great, fun hour. So thanks, bud.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, awesome.
David Spade
I'll see you backstage.
Dana Carvey
Good luck out there. All right, buddy. Peace out.
David Spade
This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, Leave a Like a review all this stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is. Wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtz.
Podcast Summary: Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade Featuring Dane Cook
Release Date: November 20, 2024
Guest: Dane Cook
Presented by Audacy
In this episode of "Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade," the hosts welcome renowned comedian Dane Cook. The conversation delves deep into Cook's illustrious career, his pioneering use of social media, personal challenges, and his ongoing passion for comedy.
Dana Carvey and David Spade kick off the discussion by highlighting Dane Cook's innovative approach to building his fan base through early social media platforms like MySpace.
Dana Carvey [03:05]: "This one's interesting because his journey, he was the first person to really use social media to create a fan base with a platform called MySpace from the early knots."
Dane Cook reflects on his initial struggles and how social media became a pivotal tool in his ascent.
Dane Cook [06:20]: "I was a dork, basically. I was a dork that loved comedy... I saw the Internet as kind of like some sort of portal."
His dedication paid off as he amassed over seven million followers on MySpace by leveraging these platforms to engage directly with fans.
Dane Cook [14:21]: "It was seven. It was seven million followers by the time, you know, MySpace was, say, defunct."
The conversation shifts to Cook's attempt to join "Saturday Night Live" and the challenges he faced along the way.
Dane Cook [07:07]: "I had an SNL moment where they wanted me to come in... I had a full on panic attack. I sat on a bench outside of Rockefeller Plaza and I didn't go in."
His candidness about his anxiety provides listeners with an authentic glimpse into the vulnerabilities behind his comedic persona.
Dane Cook [09:02]: "I blew it on the day because I was like too beta... I was not going to be able to survive at SNL."
Despite early setbacks, Cook's perseverance led to significant breakthroughs in his career. He discusses his transition from performing in small clubs to selling out large arenas.
Dane Cook [24:09]: "Retaliation... sold, like, 102,000 copies in that first week. That was like a big win for me and my fans."
His ability to connect with audiences both online and offline cemented his status as a leading figure in stand-up comedy.
Cook shares a deeply personal and harrowing experience involving his brother's betrayal, which led to significant financial and emotional turmoil.
Dane Cook [45:35]: "I had to put my own brother in prison in, oh, nine, because pretty much the life savings that I had up until then, he had stolen."
This betrayal not only impacted his finances but also forced him to rebuild his career from the ground up.
An inspiring segment features Cook's unexpected mentorship with the legendary Jerry Lewis, illustrating the profound impact mentorship can have in the comedy world.
Dane Cook [62:28]: "Jerry goes, I wanna know where Dane Cook is... and he starts calling me every Sunday."
These interactions reaffirm Cook's belief in resilience and the enduring power of laughter during challenging times.
Looking ahead, Cook discusses his upcoming projects, including the "Fresh New Flavor" tour and his new special titled "Gritty and Pink."
Dane Cook [71:38]: "Fresh New Flavor tour the rest of the year... Gritty and Pink, and that'll be out in the spring."
His commitment to evolving his craft underscores his dedication to entertaining audiences worldwide.
The episode wraps up with heartfelt exchanges between Cook, Carvey, and Spade, celebrating Cook's journey and resilience. Cook's gratitude towards his hosts and ongoing support from peers like Dana and David highlight the camaraderie within the comedy community.
Dane Cook [72:46]: "This story is awesome... I can't wait to talk about this next year with you guys."
Dana Carvey and David Spade express their admiration and support, reinforcing the episode's theme of overcoming adversity through humor and friendship.
This episode offers an in-depth look into Dane Cook's life, blending humor with poignant moments, and providing listeners with both entertainment and inspiration.