David Meets the Cast of Obsession + The NBA Finals

Summary

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Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: David Meets the Cast of Obsession + The NBA Finals
Date: June 8, 2026
Hosts: Dana Carvey & David Spade
Podcast Theme: A behind-the-scenes hangout in the comedy and entertainment world, riffing on current events, movies, TV, sports, and showbiz stories, featuring trademark impressions and laid-back banter.

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Episode Overview

This episode blends Hollywood encounters, NBA Finals talk, state-of-the-art AI controversy, and signature Carvey-Spade riffs. David tells the story of (accidentally) dining with the young cast of Obsession, sparking talk about low-budget box office hits outpacing studio tentpoles. The hosts break down NBA Finals storylines, the quirks of streaming economics for stars, and America's ongoing AI/data center revolution with humor and informed speculation. Expect hilarious impressions, real-life anecdotes about comedy touring, and quick pivots from sharp satire to sincere reflection.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. David Meets the Cast of "Obsession": Accidental Movie Star Moment

• The Setup: David shares an anecdote about dining out when his friend Dan Levy (not that Dan Levy) spots several cast members from the surprise box office hit Obsession at a restaurant (10:30).
  • “We’re talking about me, Obsession and how scared I am of it, right? He goes, I think this kid just walked in, this dude was in Obsession… So three of the cast come in to eat.” — David (10:30)
• David's (Non-)Fan Moment: Dan insists they say hello; David resists, but ends up introducing himself as "the guy who's too scared to see your movie," leading to a funny exchange with the cast.
  • "The lead girl said, 'Oh, are you too scared?' I said, 'Yeah.' And the guy goes, 'My grandma saw it and she only sees the sheep detective.' I go, 'Well, that's too scary for me.'" — David (11:49)
• Meta Takeaway: Meeting real people makes movies less scary for David; conversation segues into how small, clever movies by young filmmakers are beating big studio projects at the box office.

2. Box Office: Indie Surges & Hollywood's Response

• Dana marvels at the success of new indie horror and sci-fi films—like Obsession and Backrooms—earning massive box office against $600M Disney properties (14:15).
  • “You see a low-budget thing made by a nineteen-year-old kid is number one… and you’re the executive producer of the Magdalarian with the Baby Yoda, what the fuck is going on?” — Dana (14:15)
• David’s Theory: Once the "Baby Yoda" character outgrows cuteness, Hollywood magic fades; meanwhile, clever indie projects with tight hooks win.
  • “Baby Yoda was so cute but now he’s older and it’s not cute anymore.” — David (15:14)
• Commentary on Movie Economics: Discussion of how studios monetize films quickly via expensive pay-per-view and streaming releases (10:55-11:19).

3. Movie-Going Etiquette & The Modern Theater Experience

• Anecdote: Dana vents about audience phone use, using his hat as a screen to block selfie-glow at a recent film. (16:54)
  • “If I have to tell someone to put their phone away during the movie, it makes me so mad I can’t get back into it.” — Dana (17:27)
• Behind the Scenes: Hilarious struggle to stream private screeners for prep, ending in tales of password hell, puppet reenactments, and potential bitcoin scams (18:26–20:35).

4. Impressions Parade: "Buzzing Around" Segment

• Dana orchestrates a rapid-fire game where Piers Morgan hosts a talk show, cycling through Carvey’s beloved impressions: Schwarzenegger, Woody Allen, Bill Clinton, Trump, Obama, Jimmy Fallon, and Mike Tyson—all flummoxed with the nonspecific question: "What are you gonna do about it?" (35:10–39:09)
• Fun Meta-Moment: Dana confesses midway the only joke was for everyone to sound different, not say anything specific.
  • “My promise—my premise was to do the impressions so that everyone was just a sound.” — Dana (39:16)

5. NBA Finals Talk: Knicks vs. Spurs

• Previewing the Finals: Discussion on the contrasting teams—veteran Knicks vs. the youngest-ever Spurs (30:06).
  • "The Spurs... youngest team that's ever been in the NBA finals. These guys are right out of high school. Twenty-two is the senior vet... you're watching a team gain confidence in real time." — Dana (30:15)
• Jalen Brunson & The ‘Alien’: Nods to Spurs star Wemby ("The Alien") and Brunson's prowess versus super tall defenders (31:16).
• Civic Anxiety: David jokes about New Yorkers possibly lighting things on fire if the Knicks win (29:38).

6. AI & Data Centers: Hype, Backlash, and Real Impact

• Clip Analysis: The hosts react to a tech executive discussing the promise of AI super-data centers, riffing on the earnest, jargon-heavy delivery and the big unspoken fears (40:04–45:09).
  • "They're saying it can cure cancer, change everything, but they should lead with that—not with 'We're taking all your jobs.'" — David (43:40)
• Economic & Social Impact: Will AI really deliver world-changing benefits? Dana speculates on universal basic income as automation disrupts employment, while David raises eminent domain concerns for small farmers (44:09–46:15).
• Comic Callback: Horse-and-buggy drivers’ historical outrage compared to modern tech displacement.

7. Touring, Travel, and Comedy Life

• Comic Laments: Long, exhausting travel days; tales from airport purgatory and slogging through tour logistics (24:20–28:24).
  • “When I’m in really rough air…and the hotel's three hours away…I go, 'What am I doing here?'” — Dana (27:34)
• Meta-Commentary: Spade and Carvey joke about how often they default to touring stories, with the Piers Morgan puppet critiquing their “airport material” (33:46).

8. Pop Culture News & Industry Economics

• Euphoria Paychecks: The hosts review rumored per-episode salaries for Euphoria stars, ranging from $250k (Maud Apatow) to $1 million (Zendaya), marveling at how big streaming bets are now (51:00–55:23).
  • “I believe those numbers...to have your biggest flagship show globally...They’re not being nice; someone’s figured out their market value.” — David (54:08)
• Changing Economics: Nostalgia for sitcom back-end royalties, with musings on the economics of streaming (54:33–54:57).

9. Billionaires, Elections, and Trillionaire Talk

• Dana highlights Tom Steyer's gubernatorial campaign and the paradox of billionaires warning about "trillionaires." (56:01–57:22)
  • "It went from ‘the millionaires and the billionaires’—then Bernie realized he was a millionaire, now it’s just the billionaires.” — David (57:31)
• Wealth Gap Satire: Wry observations about how no one can spend that much, hints about universal basic income, and Warren Buffett’s tax comments.

10. Open Carry Laws, Gun Culture, and Social Shifts

• David and Dana unpack a viral video about Philadelphia’s new 'open carry' law, weighing American gun culture, law enforcement optics, and personal stories about hunting (58:31–63:08).
  • “If a guy was walking around West Hollywood with an AR, your instinct is like, this doesn't feel right.” — Dana (60:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Meeting the “Obsession” Cast
  • “My buddy over there was too scared to see it…Then the lead girl said, ‘Oh, are you too scared?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ And the guy goes, ‘My grandma saw it—she only sees Sheep Detective.’ I go, ‘That’s too scary for me!’” — David Spade (11:49)
• On AI & Tech Promises
  • “They should lead with ‘we’re curing cancer,’ not ‘we’re taking your jobs.’” — David Spade (43:40)
  • “They were furious at people during the industrial revolution. Now we’re furious at steam shovels, and the horse and buggy people went crazy when cars came in.” — Dana Carvey (45:54)
• On Billionaires & the Wealth Gap
  • “I want to pay more taxes, but only if the IRS shows up at my house with guns." — Dana Carvey (57:48)
• On NBA Finals
  • “There’s always someone whose excitement equals fire… what about good old-fashioned, pop some champagne? No.” — David Spade (29:38)
• On Touring
  • “I always say to myself when I’m in rough air, drenched in sweat, hotel 3 hours away, ‘What am I doing here?’… You’re earning money. It’s a job.” — Dana Carvey (27:34–27:56)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Obsession Cast Restaurant Story — 10:30–12:23
• Indie vs. Big Studio Movies — 14:10–15:29
• Theater Phone Etiquette & Screener Woes — 16:54–20:35
• Buzzing Around: Impressions Segment — 35:10–39:27
• NBA Finals Discussion — 29:04–31:48
• AI Data Centers & Societal Changes — 40:04–47:25
• Euphoria Salaries / Streaming Economics — 51:00–54:57
• Billionaires, Tax Talk, & Steyer/Sanders — 56:01–57:48
• Philadelphia 'Open Carry' Segment — 58:31–63:08

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Tone, Style, and Final Thoughts

As always, Spade and Carvey keep things breezy, sardonic, and conversational, flipping from self-deprecation (“what are we doing here?”) to sharp critique and back to absurdist comic riffs. Their mixture of topicality, nostalgia, and Hollywood-insider banter makes for equal parts insightful and hilarious listening.

Bottom Line:
A quintessential “Fly on the Wall” episode: showbiz stories, state-of-the-culture analysis, NBA jokes, streaming economics, and Dana’s ever-expanding gallery of impressions—all grounded in that easygoing, sharp-witted chemistry that has become their brand.

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Transcript

[David Spade]

Hey, before we jump back into the show, let's take a quick break. All right. Not just any break. This is a refreshing break with Snapple. We all know about Snapple's iconic real facts, so let's take a minute to go over some of my faves.

[Dana Carvey]

Snapple Real fact 455 movie trailers used to come on at the end of the movies, but no one stuck around to watch them.

[David Spade]

I've heard that. What? Snapple Real Fact 831 adults laugh only about 50, 15 to 100 times a day while preschoolers laugh an average of 300 times a day.

[Dana Carvey]

Snapple Real Fact 1983. The first player drafted to play pro football never played in the league.

[David Spade]

That's interesting. Snapple Real fact 1274. Kickball is referred to as soccer baseball in some parts of Canada. Hmm.

[Dana Carvey]

So grab a Snapple, take a second, enjoy the moment.

[David Spade]

Because let's be honest, this might be the most refreshing part of your day. Snapple, make your break more interesting. Summer is finally here and honestly completely changes the way I look at my closet. I find myself reaching for those things that are lighter, obviously more breathable.

[Dana Carvey]

Absolutely.

[David Spade]

Pieces that feel easy but still look polished enough for meeting or a patio hang. That's why I'm such a fan of quints. They specialize in high quality essentials like soft, organic cotton, airy linen. Feels nice without that staggering luxury markup.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm with you.

[David Spade]

I just got their Mongolian cashmere tea. Very soft, perfect weight for the summer evenings when the breeze picks up and I collect my thoughts.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, David, their European linen pants and shirts are also total staple, starting at just $34.

[David Spade]

Sounds crazy.

[Dana Carvey]

34 quints keeps their prices 50 to 80% less than other brands by partnering directly with the ethical factories and cutting out the middleman. They even have everything from upholstered sofas to premium bedding. If you're looking to upgrade your space.

[David Spade]

Yep. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com fly for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U I N C E.com fly for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com fly we're talking about me obsession and how scared I am of it, right? They said, you haven't seen it? And I go, no. And then the lead girl in the movie said, oh, are you too scared? I said, yeah. And the guy goes, my grandma saw it and she only sees like the sheep detective. I go, well, that's too scary for me. I said I didn't know the sheep talk. They didn't tell me that. That would scare the out of me. Oh, we laugh so hard at that one.

[Dana Carvey]

If I go down and have to tell someone, hey, could you put your phone away? That I the. The idea I have to tell them just during the movie would make me so mad that I couldn't get back into the movie. Movie. But the hat worked well.

[David Spade]

Could Paula go take care of business?

[Dana Carvey]

It was Paula actually, with the. It wasn't.

[David Spade]

Oh, she sits that far away from you.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, she likes to be a little closer. And she took some selfies.

[David Spade]

She likes to stare straight up.

[Dana Carvey]

And the horse and buggy people went crazy when cars came in. We're taking them.

[David Spade]

I love that business. It's bombing.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I was surprised when I first went to your house. You have a really cool horse and buggy out front. I go. I go, David, it's 2026.

[David Spade]

I thought they were coming back, but it's going the other way.

[Dana Carvey]

You're like, hey, buddy.

[David Spade]

Hey, bud. Check your diet.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, that's about six.

[David Spade]

We got about a six.

[Dana Carvey]

You want me to go higher?

[David Spade]

Greg Dane is in work mode. He's like six.

[Dana Carvey]

Most of what we do is technical here. So. Greg, is it okay?

[David Spade]

No comedy.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Welcome to tech talk. This is good. We got through that.

[Dana Carvey]

It's kind of cool. Look at my bars in the frame now.

[David Spade]

Well, that's kind of cool. I always fidget with the mic. Your bar is all right. Looks like a little.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, to say, well, that's kind of cool. It is. Look, it's not cool at all.

[David Spade]

Positive.

[Dana Carvey]

It's not cool and it's not uncool. Just my bars in the frame. Why do you have to put a thing on it?

[David Spade]

Who is the guy in track and field that rolls over the bar on

[Dana Carvey]

the high jump that mean the original Fl. Fosberry. Dick Fosberry, 1968 Olympic gold champion. The first guy to ever go backwards as opposed to straddle.

[David Spade]

A lot of them used to straddle, like roll over it with.

[Dana Carvey]

They would all straddle. Go up off the left foot. Yeah. Like crawl over and he just went like this.

[David Spade]

Fosberry flop.

[Dana Carvey]

Fosberry flop.

[David Spade]

Thought I was gonna, you know, I thought I would trick you. But you don't think I know about sports. But I know the New York Knicks are in the world series.

[Dana Carvey]

Their versus the guy. The greatest nickname for a basketball player in history is the alien. So Wembley is the Wembley. Wemby him too. So he. His skill set is so extreme, they nickname him the alien. It's going to be interesting, by the

[David Spade]

way, when we find out aliens are some people are hybrid people. Wemby's number one on the list. He looks like the guys that are in the Miami mall incident.

[Dana Carvey]

Something.

[David Spade]

The Miami mall rumor incident.

[Dana Carvey]

Heather, two years later, they're like, we have found footage. I thought that was a great line. Here, get here, get this.

[David Spade]

What did she say? Okay, not that much applause.

[Dana Carvey]

What you said that made Heather laugh so hard.

[David Spade]

Oh, she just laughs at how good it dunce I am. I could tell. She's like, you believe that fucking shit? Well, I saw videos of people running. What would you be running from other than aliens? What would you be running from? Aliens with guns.

[Dana Carvey]

You're in love with the idea that there's aliens. You are. They're not scared.

[David Spade]

I'm going to disclosure day. I got my tickets and I don't almost want to go because I'm so scared.

[Dana Carvey]

Go where?

[David Spade]

The movies. Oh, to see Spielberg's movie about aliens.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that's gonna be nothing. You're gonna be scared.

[David Spade]

Well, not like.

[Dana Carvey]

Like a little baby crying like a little baby in the baby crib.

[David Spade]

In the crib. Maybe because I'm scared it'll be too real. But I will say, and she talks like one of those praying manic aliens. I'm like, nope. Makes me nervous. Yeah. Signs made me scared. Signs was very cool with Mel Gibson and fucking Phoenix.

[Dana Carvey]

Seen it many times. Swing away, swing away, swing away. Man.

[David Spade]

Dude, did you. Who could cry harder than when he saw his wife. And the cop walks up to talk to him. Brutal.

[Dana Carvey]

That was shalom. Out of my way.

[David Spade]

Whatever.

[Dana Carvey]

That director.

[David Spade]

M Night, Shamalama, Ding Dong.

[Dana Carvey]

M Night. Shamalama, Ding dong, ding a dong. You have to have the two. Ding a ding dong. Yeah. Whoever wrote that in a script. Yeah. There's an auto accident. Half her body's here. Have her body's there. Have her husband say hello before we connector.

[David Spade]

She's sickeningly pinned against a tree with a car accident. Oh, and when they pull the car out, she will expire. So they're talking to her before they pull. It's so rough. Dude, he's a priest. It's all rough. Anyway, Signs. Joaquin was great. And this one. How about the two biggest movies are Obsession. You've never heard of it?

[Dana Carvey]

I know all about back rooms.

[David Spade]

Nothing. No, you know nothing.

[Dana Carvey]

Back room. It's about our back room area inside of Takaria in North Hollywood. And it's Called the back room a Takaria.

[David Spade]

Is that real?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I just made that up. If you say it's real, it's real. I mean, own your opinions. Don't be afraid to.

[David Spade]

No more. God damn. Give me mine. We gotta fight back. So sorry.

[Dana Carvey]

That's. How.

[David Spade]

So I. I was with Dan Levy, this writer guy, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah.

[David Spade]

Not from Schitt's Creek. And this is his whole life, unfortunately. He's a great writer, but you have to say Dan Levy. And then I'm goes, oh, he's great. And I go, I know they're not talking about him. I go, oh, it's not that Dan Levy. I go, there's a Dan Levy that wrote in the Goldbergs for seven years. And they go, oh, it's him. I go, it's not him. There's another one that writes obituaries for the Penny Saver. No, I said, it is the guy from the Goldbergs, and he's good writer and a buddy of mine. So we go to dinner last night, and he's obsessed with obsession. He saw the movie, okay. He saw Back Room.

[Dana Carvey]

So he's literally obsessed with the title of the movie.

[David Spade]

Yes. And he's got a kid, abe, who's like, 13, and he wants to make these type of movies, right? Which is almost feasible because they're both about 3 million. Totally.

[Dana Carvey]

What else cost about 3 million?

[David Spade]

Pay per view soon.

[Dana Carvey]

When? What are you waiting for? I'm trying to show we're making deals.

[David Spade]

Yeah. You guys. You guys.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, behind the scenes shenanigans. All right, I understand.

[David Spade]

No, we have to do, like, Apple tv. You have to find places where they.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't think it's an Apple tv. I.

[David Spade]

Well, I think it's just somewhere where you search and go, where's this thing? And then they go, oh, it's over here on this. And you pay unless. Whatever, $100, whatever. We decided to. $5,000.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, initially, it's like $40. You know it is. Well, no, that's when it comes really fast. Now it's like, out of the theaters when it's just barely out of the theaters. A week later, they go 42.95.

[David Spade]

You pay a lot for the experience of seeing it sooner. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, so Dan Levy, your friend. Not Dan Levy, These other writers, not Dan Levy. What was the hot take on that little dinner?

[David Spade]

What do we have was. We're talking about me, obsession and how scared I am of it, right? He goes, I think this kid that just walked in, this dude was an obsession. And I Go, you're really obsessing about this. And then he goes, there's another kid. You don't turn around, there's another kid. There's another one. So three of the cast come in to eat.

[Dana Carvey]

Are you kidding me? What's the name of this restaurant?

[David Spade]

It's called Koi. No, it was. It wasn't Koi. For once in my life.

[Dana Carvey]

Wasn't Koi. No Trader.

[David Spade]

No. So, yeah, it was Trader Joe's. No, it was. It was. So anyway, so he goes, I gotta go over and take a picture. I go, no, you know, you can't. But go say, hi. I think they're young, they don't give a shit.

[Dana Carvey]

Say, oh, they would love it if they're brand new famous.

[David Spade]

I saw the movie with my kid, he loves it. Blah, blah.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

So they go. And he goes, well, you come over with me. I go, no, just say, my buddy over there was too scared to see it. So he goes over there, blah, blah, blah, points over. I wave over. So then he comes back. He goes, they were very nice. He goes, go back and say bye when we leave.

[Dana Carvey]

Now you don't need that.

[David Spade]

Well, they were. They were like, oh, it's that guy.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it's just. Well, I mean. Okay, I gotcha.

[David Spade]

So I said, I'll say hi, whatever, and be. And just say, good job. So I went over, congratulated them all, and they were all very nice and they were all very excited and. Oh, and then I said, they said, you haven't seen it? And I go, no. And then the lead girl in the movie said, oh, are you too scared? I said, yeah. And the guy goes, my grandma saw it and she only sees like, the sheep detective. I go, well, that's too scary for me. I said, I didn't know the sheep talk. They didn't tell me that that would scare the out of. Oh, we laugh so hard at that one. And then.

[Dana Carvey]

So you're just regal knocked over.

[David Spade]

No, I took off. We gave it 45.

[Dana Carvey]

45 seconds. Did they say, ah, David Spade, man, I loved Blank Tom. Tommy Gun. Tommy Boy. I love Tommy Gun. I know. Tommy Boy.

[David Spade]

I love Bench Stoppers.

[Dana Carvey]

Hey, I love that thing you do with Dana Garney. The, the. The wall near some flies. I love that show.

[David Spade]

They might. You know what? I get sort of a AI recognition of do, do do. Like Robocop looks at me and they go, I know you from something that they don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, no, you're way past that. You're in a. You're in A fame thing. That's a whole other. Because I walked behind you when we played Indianapolis in the hotel atrium. I thought, I've done a couple things. I'm a little, little older. But so I'm walking and man, you just got David like Dee Dee.

[David Spade]

Anyway, so that was our big obsession. And I might have to see it now because when I, I said, okay, I think I'll try to see it now. If I met these people, I go, all right, I. I know they're real people and this is just a movie.

[Dana Carvey]

So that will help you not be afraid because they're like friends on the screen. Is it a pop out scary movie or is it a creepy scary movie?

[David Spade]

I think is scarier and weirder and more disturbing. I think this is more of a clever twist. The girl, Indy, I think her name is, she is the lead. She is with the friends, with a guy, I think, and he's in friend jail, right? And I love little hooks. Like he gets a magic wish or something and says, I want her to love me more than anyone.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that. Okay. She gets too much.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, I just wonder when you watch the, you know, box office Mojo and you see that a low budget thing made by a 19 year old kid is number one, you know, and then you're the executive producer of the Magdalorian with the Baby Yoda. What the fuck is going on? I want answers. We paid 600 million with advertising and budget. This little bitch comes in with 200 grand and he's out doing us. I want answers, people.

[David Spade]

I will tell you my theory about this. And it's a theory that people are scared to hear. In the Mandalorian, Baby Yoda. It has been a while since they filmed the series. Two problems. One, people just thought it was a TV show because it was a TV show. Why make it a movie? And number two, the real problem, Baby Yoda was so cute, but now he's older and he's like nine and it's not cute anymore.

[Dana Carvey]

We made it in the movie. Baby Yoda is not a baby.

[David Spade]

I mean, he is, but he looks older and it's not.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you don't. It's like. It's like the Fred Flintstone or something. They stay frozen in time. Once you have a Baby Yoda, it

[David Spade]

can't, you know, But d. In my head, he's old and it's not cute anymore. To me, he's. He should be walking and talking for.

[Dana Carvey]

He was like, Baby Yoda is no try, only do now in this movie, he's got a little grave things coming out of his green head. He's like, it's no try only do not see do. Yeah.

[David Spade]

And he goes, yeah. And he's like, hey. And he's throwing tantrums and they can't get the mission done because he's screaming and crying and pooping. They're like, oh, he's in like the Terrible Sevens.

[Dana Carvey]

Or really they changed the diver. I mean, I bought a ticket on love to go this Saturday, but I don't know. So it. It only did bad because it's a Disney big. It's a Star wars movie. Otherwise it did fine. But.

[David Spade]

Right.

[Dana Carvey]

They usually do a billion other.

[David Spade]

Any other movie, it's already over 100 million people would be jizzing, but they're like complete, total failure.

[Dana Carvey]

And any.

[David Spade]

Anyone else would love that much. Like backrooms and Obsession are neck and neck with that and they're like a miracle, you know? So.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I'll just say this. I saw Pressure.

[David Spade]

Oh, you did?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, great. I went to. I went to the theater.

[David Spade]

I'm going to go to see it in theater.

[Dana Carvey]

And it's fantastic. He's been. He's fantastic. It's just a great. It's just a great movie and he is great. Great in it. And. And the whole cast. So it's just like a really watchable cool. And so I like to sit in the back. It's stadium seating, but the screen's really big. So I'm like, oh, wow. No one's around me. This is cool.

[David Spade]

You love that.

[Dana Carvey]

So there's a guy by himself two rows in front of me. Holy. Starts bringing that phone up brightly. Oh, right during the film, taking a selfie. I see him typing on the stuff and he's. He's texting. It's a bright light. He'll bring it down a little bit. Then. Whoa. Right? It's like the planes are crashing. So what I did was I had a hat. So I took it and I had to hold my hat in a certain position to block out the light of his thing. Here's the reason why. If I go down and regulate and have to tell someone, hey, could you put your phone away that I the. The idea I have to tell them just during the movie when would make me so mad that I couldn't get back into the movie. But the hat worked well.

[David Spade]

Could Paula go take care of business?

[Dana Carvey]

It was Paula actually, with the. It wasn't.

[David Spade]

Oh, she sits that far away from you?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, she likes to be a little closer. And she took some Selfies.

[David Spade]

She likes to stare straight up. That's great. You know, let's tell the people. The dirty little behind the scenes secrets of our show is when we do a movie like Brendan Fraser and Big Movie star, sometimes they will sneak us the movie on our laptop to watch. Yes. Now, we like Brendan. He's been on before. And I was intrigued by this movie, as were you. We could not for the

[Dana Carvey]

likes of

[David Spade]

us, whatever, figure it out. And I did different passwords and I was a suggested password and I blocked off two hours. Couldn't do it. Next day, Heather tries to work on it. We all work on it. They go, we'll send you a new one. Oh, this isn't working. Oh, are you inside WI fi? Are you in a data center? So it's basically a million problems. Never saw it.

[Dana Carvey]

They. I know. I tried to. Three, three hours in, they asked for my bank account number and access and how to get into my bank accounts. And. And then I got a little suspicious, like, why would they need that for me just to see a screener. And then they said, can we find out what David Spade, you know, could we get his bank account numbers? And I did give yours, which I shouldn't have.

[David Spade]

No, I gave bitcoin and it got me to the next level. But I was like, when's the movie play? They said, you can pay in bitcoin. I go, what am I pay? I thought this was free. And they're like, that's what you thought?

[Dana Carvey]

And I, I was waiting so long with the muzak to get to the next level to download the film that actually made. You know, I have my little puppets. I made puppets of Brendan Fraser and other actors in the movie and was acting out what I thought the movie would be like. Oh, that's actually was very entertaining.

[David Spade]

Well, when I got in, they said, can you. So we always do. We always do this. But when I got in, it said, show these, show these pictures. So you're not a robot. Which one's a motorcycle? And then the next one is like, pick the conundrum. I'm like, well, these are getting harder. I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

You get the motorcycle one too. And it's like, I'm gonna motorcycle, motorcycle, motorcycle. And they go, no, not enough motorcycles. And it's like barely a tiny part of the handlebar.

[David Spade]

What do you think? They go, no. What do you think? Because you're about to be wrong.

[Dana Carvey]

Are you a robot? No. Well, let's test that theory. And they go one after the other, right? Then finally it's like they go, David Spade. Pick out David Spade in the tic tac toe square. I see him there, I see him there. And I go, that's it. And they go, nope, just part of his hair in the back is flipping out in the corner. I go, you just got part of

[David Spade]

his big stupid hat. Imagine having a free day out in the town, sitting down for a nice lunch, relaxing. Then you get an alert. The window at your home's been broken while you're miles away. It's that kind of thing that can turn your good day upside down. Obviously, that's where ADT comes in. ADT security systems are built for situations like this. They got 247 monitoring to help keep your home safer whether you're there or not. No one wants to feel unsafe at home. And with adt, you won't.

[Dana Carvey]

That's right. Their systems are professionally installed by trained technicians. So protection starts from day one. ADT also has the most company operated monitoring centers in the industry. And the ADT app lets you keep tabs on your home from virtually anywhere. Don't wait to prepare your home for an emergency. When every second Counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com or call 1-800-ADT ASAP.

[David Spade]

All right, you know about freeze.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Look, keeping your energy up, staying locked in is a must. Yep. But your daily caffeine just got a massive flavor upgrade. 5 hour energy shots are delivering tasty caffeine and a variety of bold flavors, giving you as much caffeine as a 12 ounce premium cup of coffee. But with zero sugar and zero sugar crash. Right now, I'm completely hooked on how they have ignited my taste buds with nostalgic freezer pop Classic reimagined as a delicious firework freeze. Five Hour Energy Shot. Remember that Freezer pop?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Oh yeah. This thing is a total game changer. Combining juice, cherry, citrusy lime and candy like blue raspberry to create a bold flavor explosion in every single sip. It delivers that exact iconic freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. All packed into a portable pocket size shot you can take anywhere. You can spark a tasty flavor sensation with these incredible shots today. Ignite your taste buds with a Firework Freeze Flavor 5 Hour Energy Shot. Now available online at 5 Hour Energy.com or Amazon.

[David Spade]

Look at my Budweiser shirt. This shirt is cool. No one's talking about it, but I think I wore it three days.

[Dana Carvey]

I like, I'm sort of. I would love to get a white T shirt. It's hard to get Them people say, you know, he always wears black, but I would love to get white. Where do I get them? No, you can't get white.

[David Spade]

Where do you get white?

[Dana Carvey]

Where do you get a white T shirt?

[David Spade]

I like when people go, you can get them anywhere. And I go anywhere. And they're like, no, 7 11. No, go to your precious Gap.

[Dana Carvey]

But I. They don't have white.

[David Spade]

Go to James purse. Nine and a half.

[Dana Carvey]

They don't. They can't. Can't get a purse there.

[David Spade]

They have good white ones are very thin.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, what I was going to ask Heather, we might as well do it live on air.

[David Spade]

Let's do Amazon live.

[Dana Carvey]

Because this. This people don't know that inside baseball. What comedians need is a lightweight jacket. That just a lightweight thing. Now some of you can wear a sport coat. This and that just kind of so. So you're not just. If you're going to a gig, you have a little bit of warmth.

[David Spade]

If the room's cold, plain, a little bit of break from the freezer.

[Dana Carvey]

And you have 150 lightweight cool jackets.

[David Spade]

I have a lot of coats. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I left my jean jacket was the only jacket.

[David Spade]

I was at my house.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And I. I've seen the pictures the paps took. Obviously I know you're wearing it around town. That's all right. You do that.

[David Spade]

But not now.

[Dana Carvey]

I was gonna ask Heather, where do you get your. Your lightweight jackets?

[David Spade]

God, I get a lot of them.

[Dana Carvey]

We can figure it out. Always.

[David Spade]

Not exactly Perfect. So when I go on the road. Oh, Zara Zara Men's, which is a woman's store.

[Dana Carvey]

T. Text me. I won't remember that or know how

[David Spade]

to out of you. Also zips up the side I like because when I travel, everything falls out. It's like code is like the purse. So everything falls out. I don't mind a little here where I put in there. And you know, your ticket, your boarding pass, you're over here. Because all the travel. But I will never travel with just like a T shirt. It gets so effing freezing. And to bore the shit out of you even more. When I went to Chicago for gigs this weekend.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Well, that one's thick.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, for a. For a puffy jacket, it's really light.

[David Spade]

Yeah. You have one size fits all. You're just like a puffer. That's your coat.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, kind of Sam Elliott. Yeah. But you couldn't wear it on stage.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I don't know.

[David Spade]

But anyway, it's a little too much. Yeah. So I go to Chicago. I'm doing a couple gigs. Oh yeah, our. Our Airport news. Which this show always turns into. I won't bore you with the details, but here's the boring details. When I land in Chicago, it's already an hour to the airport on this end. An hour wait. Four and a half hour flight. Fine. I love my craft.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. You don't mind.

[David Spade]

So I'm excited for the show, but it's a little bit of a slog. So I get there and this is the first time I've been picked up and they go, great, be about hour and a half for the hotel. I go an hour and a half.

[Dana Carvey]

What. What airport you fly into?

[David Spade]

Oh, hair.

[Dana Carvey]

And where's the gig? Down in Illinois.

[David Spade]

I'm just going into a hotel in Chicago. Downtown.

[Dana Carvey]

Why would it take an hour and a half? Traffic.

[David Spade]

Because traffic is that bad and it's not even Friday. It is a bad time of day. Not to be confused with bad time of the month, but it's a bad time of the day and I can't.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. Yes.

[David Spade]

Yes, you do. Yes, I didn't.

[Dana Carvey]

I didn't get it either.

[David Spade]

So this guy slogs us. We have to reroute and just go straight to dinner because it's getting so late when you're cooped up.

[Dana Carvey]

Is the show that night?

[David Spade]

No, I would never not. We fly the day before.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

So now you're dying on the vine. And then we decide to walk to the hotel from dinner to burn off our fat freezing. We weren't ready for it.

[Dana Carvey]

The stuff you put up with to bring your. To bring joy, Art and your joy to the people.

[David Spade]

The only thing I'll call it is art. There's no other word for it.

[Dana Carvey]

The next time you do a flight to a gig and it's a 13 hour travel day, call me. No, seriously, call me.

[David Spade]

You walk me through it.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I'm not kidding.

[David Spade]

What does that mean?

[Dana Carvey]

I'm holding. Just. I'm seriously. I mean, just call me because the idea is that, you know, I have a 13 hour travel day that I did. I don't think you do it.

[David Spade]

What are you talking about? You'll give me tips.

[Dana Carvey]

I had a 13 hour travel day. I drove from the LAX.

[David Spade]

That's right. That's right.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I think that was on the last week's podcast.

[David Spade]

You're not a complainer. But I am. So I will act.

[Dana Carvey]

I can get cranky. I. But I kind of. I always say to myself when I'm in really rough air and just please Be seated and whatever. And drenched in sweat. And the hotel's three hours away. It's go, what am I doing here? What am I doing? I go, what am I doing here?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And then I go, well, you're earning money.

[David Spade]

Yeah. This is a job.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a job.

[David Spade]

When I'm up there, it looks breezy. And when you're grinding, I will only really complain about the pain if it hurts my neck. Other than that, it's all boring. Sure, sure, sure. But we land in Chicago and it's like we park and everyone starts to stand up. They go, no, we, we don't have a parking spot. We're in the middle of the Runway. So just hang, Hang tight, Dana. One solid hour of hanging tight and it's already over. Which is infuriating because you're like, what are we doing?

[Dana Carvey]

Hurry up and wait. That's it. Jerry Seinfeld, I think, said, stand up is about waiting.

[David Spade]

Hurry up and wait is movies that they always say.

[Dana Carvey]

I probably can't describe this, but the last time Paul and I flew into Chicago, there was a one in a century windstorm once. It was. No, I'm serious. You could look it up. It's like a year ago year. I don't know. It was just, just a 10 mile high dust thing that was enveloping the city. We were the one of the last planes in you could bear. Everything was like. You couldn't even see the city was. We're coming in, coming in heavy.

[David Spade]

Everybody's.

[Dana Carvey]

Please be seated. I want a flight attendant.

[David Spade]

You know, lock it up.

[Dana Carvey]

We got, we got road stories, man. People going, what else you guys talk about?

[David Spade]

You're in a scene from the Mummy. All right, we can get to. Oh, here's some stories. Oh, yeah, the Knicks. I'm worried about the Knicks because it would be really fun to see them win. But there was just a soccer match where they burn the city to the ground. When they won, I thought they lost. And I'm scared of New York winning because they get so excited. There's always someone that goes, my excitement equals fire. And so you go, well, what about just good old fashioned, pop the champagne? No.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, why not? Go. Hooray.

[David Spade]

Hooray is great.

[Dana Carvey]

You know what? I'm so glad the Knicks won. I think we should light some cars on fire.

[David Spade]

I know, why don't we. Why light it? I know. I don't know why. We will see. I do. I. I like San Antonio. They're great. But I kind of feel like the Knicks would be it. I Like when they go, they're due. They are due. Give them something fun.

[Dana Carvey]

The Knicks beat the spurs during the regular season. What you're watching is a reality show, right? So the reality show on the spurs side, the team is like the youngest team that's ever been in the NBA finals. These guys are right out of High School. 22 is the senior vet. Listen up everybody. And they have, they have Harrison Barnes, he's the old man. And basically you're watching a team gain confidence in real time, you know, so we don't really know what's going to happen and that's.

[David Spade]

Well, we don't know because we are. The first game is tonight, so this will be after the second game and I'm sure we'll know more after two games. Will probably know who won two games, but.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, yeah, Jaylen Brunson is quite a.

[David Spade]

He's a monster.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, because they always say he's the shortest guy. He's the smallest guy in the court.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

At six two or something. But he'll get to 10ft or 5ft away. He goes around people and then he just switches these things. But then if the aliens in there at 76 with an 8 foot wingspan, Jalen's gonna have to aim at the top of the.

[David Spade]

Here's the guy about to shoot and he gets the ball thrown him as he's dipping down his chute. Here comes, here's the hand and here comes the

[Dana Carvey]

net. There's the net. He literally has to throw it straight up.

[David Spade]

That's what I used to do. It's horrible.

[Dana Carvey]

Straight up to get over the alien into the, into the thing. So anyway, I like, I like, I, I'm not really rooting like in a personal way for. Because I'm Golden State warriors, but I like both teams be interesting, right.

[David Spade]

We're having an election but it's probably going to be. It won't be over. They'll be down in the last two in la.

[Dana Carvey]

Looks like Spencer Pratt and Karen Bass are going to be as of this press time at press time are going

[David Spade]

to be in a runoff and that's not till November.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And two very different thinkers. And if it's those two, it would be kind of a race because in la, if people you didn't know this

[Dana Carvey]

furloughs you at home, they don't understand this.

[David Spade]

What I didn't know is when they do a preliminary voting, it's the top two candidates. It doesn't have. I always thought it was Republican versus Democrat.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

The top of each one but yeah, it's whatever the top two voters are. So if the top two votes are for two Democrats or two Republicans, those two move on. So it's really just already almost one. It's just between two different ones. So this will be for the first time in a while, it will be old school boxing match.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it is. I mean, in the history of California, the last generation or so, it's the idea that there's sort of maybe a possible race going to happen. You know, I mean, it's usually not close. The Democrats will usually win by about 30%, 40% usually.

[David Spade]

So same thing with governor. So I think it's going to be interesting for the next Steve.

[Dana Carvey]

Steve Hilton from Great Britain. I came over to be.

[David Spade]

I appreciate any vote even if it's not for me.

[Dana Carvey]

This state is in a state of disaster and I know how to fix it. No, no. That was a little Michael Caine Pierce Bogus.

[David Spade]

Like, where's that Piers Morgan? Is someone laying down, handing him to you? Is Paula down there?

[Dana Carvey]

No, they're. I put, I keep it nearby.

[David Spade]

One man show.

[Dana Carvey]

So, David, is this your idea of a good show?

[David Spade]

He's always so critical when you talk

[Dana Carvey]

about flights that are difficult. Do you, do you think people enjoy that? I mean, do you think that's an amusing story to tell?

[David Spade]

Well, we do it a lot. So I think maybe you're right that we should sort of trim that part up. I take his. I, I listen to what he says.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I got to get a shorter stick so he can get up in your group.

[David Spade]

He really, he gets too kind of confrontational with me. I don't like him that close. I don't like that close. Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Maybe there's something wrong with me. Why, why do I have this puppet?

[David Spade]

I didn't know. They're so little. I guess you push, you push them up to the camera. They're funny.

[Dana Carvey]

Whoa, hold on.

[David Spade]

Hang on. One man band. Ching, ching, ching. Don't let the things fall to your ear. Oh, my gosh. Heather, look at this. The church lady. How long did that take your horse to make? Hang on. I'm going to.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

As the baby. Yeah. Do you have a glue stick? These are questions from the audience.

[Dana Carvey]

These are made by a friend of mine, Mark Hershon, who just. It was surprisingly difficult. You, you have to get the right size of the person. Some are giant. Like Dean Martin was just a huge one.

[David Spade]

Do you want to pick three randoms and do buzzing around?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I have an idea for buzzing around.

[David Spade]

Okay, I'll let you get Situated while I introduce it.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, here we go.

[David Spade]

Okay. Take your time. Ladies and gentlemen. I wish we had a drum roll. It's time for buzzing around your favorite thing in the world. Sponsored by five Hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor. Ignite your taste buds with a red, white and blue freezer. Pop classic reimagined as a delicious firework freeze. Five Hour Energy shot. Why is that hard for me to say? Find Firework Freeze shots online at five hour energy.com or Amazon today. Okay, now, Dana is going to.

[Dana Carvey]

Since I brought Piers Morgan, I'm going to do a Pierce Morgan.

[David Spade]

Oh, I like him. Okay, okay. He's going to do a scenario.

[Dana Carvey]

A scenario. And different characters will come into this scenario.

[David Spade]

Three minimum. Max is no Max.

[Dana Carvey]

Max 37.

[David Spade]

Max the whole bucket.

[Dana Carvey]

Welcome to the Piers Morgan Show. I have an array of guests here to talk about the situation I ran in the straight of Hormuz.

[David Spade]

Oh, it's getting serious.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, I know. Should I do that or.

[David Spade]

I don't care. Go ahead.

[Dana Carvey]

Here's my first guest. Could you all know him? Arnold goes. Former governor, movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold, what do you have to say? Yeah, but everybody says a good job. All right, that's well put.

[David Spade]

Man's opinion.

[Dana Carvey]

What? Woody Allen. Let me do without that. Woody Allen. What do you have to say? Because you know. All right, that's very good. Now, Bill Clinton. What do you have to say? Well, how is this old times say, oh, very good. President Barack Obama. No, no, no, no, no. Adam Sandler, the famous movie star and comedian Adam Sandler. What do you have to say? David? And of course, President Trump.

[David Spade]

No one's really saying anything, you think? No, I think I kind of understand.

[Dana Carvey]

Jimmy. Jimmy Fallon. What do you have to say? This is crazy. George W. Bush. What do you have to say? And David Spade. What do you have to say?

[David Spade]

I was at the airport.

[Dana Carvey]

I think we talk about too many airport stories.

[David Spade]

I know. So embarrassed.

[Dana Carvey]

And Mike Tyson, finally. What do you have to say?

[David Spade]

Oh, this feels like a closer.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I don't know. What you gonna do about it? Oh, what.

[David Spade]

What do you mean, what am I taking a dump? What are you gonna do about it?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, what do you mean, what are you gonna do about. Like, what should I do about it? Or what am I going to do about it?

[David Spade]

Good question.

[Dana Carvey]

Just, you know, what are you gonna do about it? That's what I say. I say, what are you gonna do about Arnold? Yeah, what are you about it? Woody? Yeah, what are you gonna do about it? Clinton? What are you gonna do about it, Trump? You gonna do about it, Jimmy Fallon. Hey, what are you gonna do about Lovett? What are you gonna do about it? And scene.

[David Spade]

Different one. This has been buzzing around. I'm guessing that was.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know.

[David Spade]

That was a.

[Dana Carvey]

My promise. My premise was to do the impressions so that everyone was just a sound. But I, I did do that little bobbly, you know, this was buzzing around.

[David Spade]

Whatever that was was buzzing around. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor. The iconic red, white and blue freezer. Pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark a tasty flavor sensation with firework freeze. Five hour energy shots. Available online at 5energy.com and Amazon today. Good job. All right, let's go to some news stories. You did a. Really you.

[Dana Carvey]

That was incredible.

[David Spade]

No, you work.

[Dana Carvey]

Good job. I worked it.

[David Spade]

People know. They're. Oh, this is about A.I.

[Dana Carvey]

i love it.

[David Spade]

Our favorite. Your favorite subject

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

example for the world where the world can benefit incredibly data center like this and the local community can be thrilled with the decision. We know how complex of a project

[Dana Carvey]

we get you data centers in the

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

world is and I'll come back to this. But I think we can make this a great example for the future. But this is. This is a huge bet. And this is something that is not. Not an easy.

[Dana Carvey]

What is he talking about?

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

Hopefully someday we'll all read about some incredible thing AI has done for society. It's easy to throw around these numbers. One gigawatt.

[Dana Carvey]

I can. It's a lot of gigawatts. That's one gigawatt.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

Billions of dollars to conceptualize that too. And it's, it's easy to look out at this right now and say, okay, you know, looks like another construction project sounds like a lot of money scale this. What this much AI can do for the world sounds like. Oh, it's a big number.

[Dana Carvey]

I've heard. I still don't. I have a question for him, though.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

The site where millions of small businesses

[Dana Carvey]

can without employees with AI in the cloud.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

It is theory.

[David Spade]

Exactly.

[Dana Carvey]

Says the billionaire.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

A model for how.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

I, I mutually benefit each other. I, I think I understand something about

[David Spade]

how it's no sale.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

What it takes to like have a project.

[Dana Carvey]

Why does he seem nervous and hesitant? He's.

[David Spade]

He's, he's trying to spin it like it's so great the world can benefit center like this. Have a farm machine.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

Thrilled.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. All right.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or expert)]

We know how complex.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, he's not being specific.

[David Spade]

He's sort of Just generally, if you're in the Midwest, that's an oven, you know that these people do not want you there. I could, I would imagine because they're sort of like taking over farms. Taking over.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, look, here's the question. I like specifics, like where is he? How much open land, where is it? How far is it away from the town center? Is it to admit any pollution or is it a matter of they bring in hydraulic natural gas that they can kind of in right at the site, power it. But the idea is as follows, is that we. This is the promise that AI, as far as biomedicine and stuff like that, no more cancer.

[David Spade]

Sorry, you don't see it that much of that.

[Dana Carvey]

They don't talk about it as much. But the reason they're doing this lead with that is that it's this next level kind of brain. So you can, An AI can read a hundred thousand pages of data and in two seconds and remember every part of it. So it can look at cells, it can identify cells, how they move around certain cells 20 years before they turn into cancer cells. The cancer cells, potential cancer cells, move differently. Only the AI could see that. The other thing is people worry about climate change and energy. Look at the straight of Hormuz, unlimited fusion energy or whatever. AI comes what, totally clean and unlimited. So the reason this stuff's a pain in the ass, we get it, but they're not really explaining what the potentiality is. And that seems to be the consensus, is that we are going to open up things we can't comprehend. The problem is the efficiency of these corporations in certain segments. AI agents, they're called. And there are a lot of people, you know, we may have an AI agent at some point.

[David Spade]

Oh, you mean where you call and talk to an AI?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, and it'll be really, really, really, really conversational.

[David Spade]

I did a hotel on the road and I call, I call down and they said, call Abigail and text her. And this is a weird thing. And I said to get whatever you want. And I have to text Abigail. She texts back, hi, what can I do for you? And I go, I just need this. And she goes, okay, put your name, put your email, put your room number, put your this. And I do all this horseshit. She's like, what can I do? And I go, I need this because this is broken in my room. Could you help me? Well, actually put your name. And it went in circles and nothing happened. And that's when you want to go, I get it, but I would rather talk to someone. At some point because they kind of got stuck in a glitch. Another problem is I think they should lead with the we're curing cancer and not with we're taking all your jobs. So that's why he's saying all what it could do because great, but there's eminent domain or if I'm using the right term where these people are just being told we'd like to come to your farm and buy it. And they say no. And they say well, well we can do the dirty way, eminent domain, we're just taking it. So we'll pay you some money, fair value, get out of here. And a lot of places are also voting against it. But there's small townships that have a million dollar budget and they go we're going to sue you. And they settle and just say, just do it. We only have a million dollars to sue you back and we can't afford your high falutin lawyers. So it's just going to happen no matter what. And now the buzzing is what bothers me. When people say they live near them

[Dana Carvey]

and you hear well that that can't happen.

[David Spade]

That's terrifying.

[Dana Carvey]

If their energy is where they are. Like these small, they call them SMR small modular reactors are on the horizon. But they will be a very safe, somewhat gigawatt small nuclear reactor. And so you can put it in the middle of Montana small and then it'll get the energy that it needs. It needs energy and water. They don't really explain it well enough that why are they doing this and why are so many people doing it and why do we have to build so many data centers? Couldn't we build one giant data center that'll give us all this information? But the one thing about humans, I mean in the industrial revolution they were furious at the people. Now they weren't shoveling thing, they had a steam shovel and the horse and buggy. People went crazy when cars came. In

[David Spade]

that business it's bombing.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I was surprised when I first went to your house. You have a really cool horse and buggy out front. I go, I go, David, it's 20, 26.

[David Spade]

They were coming back, but it's going the other way.

[Dana Carvey]

You're like, hey buddy.

[David Spade]

Hey bud. That was a good horse. You did a good.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, because I, I have horses. Don't be, don't be, don't be mad.

[David Spade]

I am a little jealous. Very calming.

[Dana Carvey]

I think you're more mad at my horses.

[David Spade]

I'm just mad at everything. Arm your land. But anyway, you should have an Inflatable koi at your house. That's what you need in the backyard.

[Dana Carvey]

But here's hear me now, believe me later, you know, we're going to have very safe self driving cars. No more car accidents. We're going to have cars that are completely clean, running on clean energy. You know, there's a lot of benefits but we may have to have universal basic income. It's going to have to be like good news and bad news. The bad news, you're fired. The good news is you're going to get a check. Now people that. Yeah, so it is weird. I mean eventually they will replace us, David, you know. Yeah. There'll be robot comedians that will crush.

[David Spade]

All right now before we get back, we have a message from Ashley the mosquito about Orkin. Hey besties. Hope all of you are high key. So excited for summer. It's literally giving all of us mosquitoes life. So we thought we'd help everybody make the most of it before Orkin pros try to ruin our fun. Remember, if you have standing water on your lawn from the pool or the sprinkler, just let it sit there. The more the merrier. When they're standing water, there'll be more mosquitoes, plenty more. Next up is a bit of a hot take but we're so hyped on it. Let mosquitoes inside. What could go wrong? Just let us inside, please. Thanks. Love you.

[Dana Carvey]

Finally, the number one rule this summer is do not under any circumstances speak to anybody from Oregon. That is literally so cringe it will ruin the vibe of any get together we might be having. Take it from a mosquito or Orkin. Pros know literally everything about us, period. Don't visit orkin.com for a free estimate today. Now let's go suck some blood. Now let's go suck some blood. Number one with a blood bullet.

[David Spade]

Finding a skilled hire takes more than just reviewing a resume as AI raises the bar on how experience is presented by hiring managers need better ways to evaluate skills and fit and that's where Robert Half can help.

[Dana Carvey]

That's right. Our recruiters combine their expertise with award winning AI to review what's behind every application.

[David Spade]

Quickly learn how we can find you specialized talent in finance, accounting, technology and more at Robert Half we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com talent today this Father's Day,

[Narrator/Announcer]

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[David Spade]

All right, we'll move on to the next one. But Dana's very knowledgeable.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, not really, but ask him in the comments.

[David Spade]

Okay. Is it another hippo thing? Lucy, Tennessee has deployed robots to deal with the feral hog problem. Let's see how they do it. Okay, this is in Tennessee. Wild boars. Hey, come back, hogs.

[Dana Carvey]

And that's the robot answer. This duplicate office.

[David Spade]

He's.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I don't blame the hogs. I don't blame. It doesn't have a weapon or anything. It's just so creepy.

[David Spade]

The hogs, of course, aren't later.

[Dana Carvey]

Who would go up to them and

[David Spade]

go, I had three javelinas on my front yard when I lived in Arizona. They come down off the mountain. Squaw peak. Oh, did you take noise?

[Dana Carvey]

I'm sure I do have a pig noise.

[David Spade]

If we had more time, I would really show you. I would show you up. That's a scene from Obsession. Horses.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, I'll find it for next week's episode.

[David Spade]

All right. What? Anything else? We got more stories. We got a lot of stories.

[Dana Carvey]

No, no. How much.

[David Spade]

How much were the actors paid on Euphoria? Is this interesting? I was telling Heather this. Let's see.

[Dana Carvey]

Season.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Here's how much three actors were paid,

[David Spade]

and I saw it all.

[Narrator/Announcer]

In sixth place, the lowest paid actress is Maud Apatow, who plays Lexi. She was paid250,000 per episode, totaling $2 million. Fifth place is actress Hunter Schaefer, who plays Jules. And she was also paid250,000 per episode, or $2 million for the season. In fourth place is actress Alex. She was paid $600,000 per episode, which comes dollars for this podium. Coming in third place, he was paid $700,000 per episode, which comes in second place, as you probably guessed, is actress Sydney Sweeney, who plays Cassie. And she was paid $800,000 per episode, totaling $6.4 million for the season. Not surprising, given she's become a superstar. And of course, the highest paid actress is Zendaya, who plays Rue. And she was paid $1 million per episode, totaling $8 million for the.

[Dana Carvey]

Wow.

[Narrator/Announcer]

It's worth noting that, too. She was paid $500,000 per episode, and all the other Actors mentioned earlier were paid $25,000 pay raise. Here's how much.

[David Spade]

Why would, what, why would I believe it? I'm not, I'm just saying just for fodder that I actually believe that that could be true. This is their biggest show. I saw another thing on this. It's their biggest show on HBO worldwide. It went up 44% from season two. People complained about the storylines but there were too many big stars in it and they were too beautiful and good looking. The two leads and Maddie and Jacob Elordi is great looking dude. So they're just big stars with a weird show. It's got a lot of sex and violence in it and I feel bad for teenagers going, this of course influences people. They say it doesn't, but of course it doesn't. If you're not doing what they're doing on the show, you're like, oh, this is what people are doing that are my age. Oh, we should do this. Like I think it's all iffy, but

[Dana Carvey]

it is a dispiriting global phenomenon for a lot of people that like when I was a kid we had like a billionaire J. Paul Getty and that was it. And now you're just seeing and hearing so much about what people are getting and it just feels like, you know, what am I missing out on? That's why everyone's in the stock market. Everyone's playing the stock market.

[David Spade]

It's keeps going up and I'm shocked. It's record again. I'm like I'm, I don't have enough in there. But you know.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it's because the, if you believe the AI thesis as we just talked about that this thing is going and they're going to be all these companies that you didn't really think about like Corning used to make glass. They're, they're in the AI thing and bottlenecks and Caterpillar stock and G Narova which is natural be pushed away or

[David Spade]

they're just going to build data.

[Dana Carvey]

Well they, they call it Capex. It's going to probably take another five years to, to before it starts to have been built and it'll come back down. But there's, there's potentially going to go up for a while. I don't know. But basically. Well, who does that? Is it HBO Max who does that show? Hbo?

[David Spade]

And you know when they spend that much money, like Netflix spends a lot of money on things, it has to be worth it to spend that much money. So to have your biggest flagship show globally in every country making money.

[Dana Carvey]

They. Yeah, they're not being nice. They're. They're paying. Someone's figured out what their market value

[David Spade]

somehow, you know, plus all the hashtags and all the Instagrams and all the people that tag it and talk about it, it's just everywhere.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, what the live streaming sites do now is they give you money up front, but they won't give you back end now if you come from Friends or, or Ray Romano or those people, which I'm all happy for them, they're still making like 18 million a year, 25 years later.

[David Spade]

Biggest shows that were the big bang,

[Dana Carvey]

probably because they got ownership, you know, they got back the reruns, and there's really.

[David Spade]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

There's reruns.

[David Spade]

Reruns anymore.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, live streaming, they don't really rerun them and let you know. So I, I don't know.

[David Spade]

But, yeah, I'm with you.

[Dana Carvey]

And what do they net?

[David Spade]

I. I mean, you know, when they don't want you to know. But it's huge money. Huge money. So I believe those numbers, I think they're. I. I would think the top people are worth it. The rest, I guess they are worth it. And they're part of a show, part of the fabric. So, you know, more power to them.

[Dana Carvey]

I say, get every penny you can, and they're all, they're all worth it. And you know that show. Yeah, you're right. When it, when they get a global phenomenon like that, it just brings. They can lean shows in on. It's a big, huge asset.

[David Spade]

And. And that's it. That was the last one. So, I mean, they name and, and populate it with more people like, you know, they do on these reality shows, and it might do as well. The name is a big deal to have euphoria. People love it. This reminded me of something, though, Dana, because with all this money, there's a guy. You were just talking about the election. There's a guy running for. It reminded me of your Bernie Sanders bit because he's running for governor.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. Tom Steyer.

[David Spade]

And he's a billionaire. And his new thing was, you know, we're gonna have trillionaires soon and we gotta stop these people. I'm like, oh.

[Dana Carvey]

It went from.

[David Spade]

I'm like, how can you talk about. And he was saying, some people have too much money. We gotta stop the wealth gap. I'm like, it should literally be coming from anyone else, like, you're a billionaire. He's like, and that's not that much anymore. I thought it was millionaire.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I think it's the best. It's the worst or best cast secret in the world is what is. What is a billion dollars? You know, I mean, and I don't know how much he's got, but if he was very honest about it, he goes. He'd go, Well, I got 10 billion. I got it in bonds. I make like 500 million a year net for hanging out, you know, I mean, you can't even get it. It's like gum on your shoe.

[David Spade]

You can't spend it. Yeah, fast enough.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, there's no billionaires in. In Cuba or North Korea, so it's sort of part of this thing. That's unfortunate, but maybe it's out of control, but we just have to have people be able to win. You know, they create a lot of jobs. So. Yeah, I don't. I don't know.

[David Spade]

He spent 150 million on the campaign so far, so they do have some say. But I think he's preaching to a crowd that's like, wait, I think billionaires aren't the hot thing right now.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, Bernie even took it a step further because, you know, you would say it's the millionaires and the billionaires. And then he found out that he was a million. A millionaire. He goes, it's the billionaires. Right.

[David Spade]

That's what I was getting at. Like, he goes, he talked about trillionaires and like, okay, well.

[Dana Carvey]

And that's a trillionaire of the ones

[David Spade]

there probably will be Elon Musk.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, but eventually a billionaire will come up there and just say, I hate myself.

[David Spade]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, I think the greatest thing that Warren Buffett ever said, and I still love it. He goes, I ought to pay more tax. Yeah, I know. You're like, okay, all human beings can write a check to the Federal Reserve 24, seven year round. I ought to pay more tax, but I'll only pay more tax if IRS agents come to my house with and point guns at me. But I want to pay more tax, but I only do it under this, you know, so it's a little. I'll just say this. Soapboxes are slippery.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

So be careful. When you get up on one, you might get soapy. They're soapy and slippery. They're sudsy.

[David Spade]

Any other box you could stand on?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Okay, last. Let's do one more if you feel like it. Let's see.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I got nothing going on. All right.

[David Spade]

Open carry now. Legal in Philadelphia. This doesn't seem true, though.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

It might be fake, bro. It might be fake. Let me see the bullets. Okay. All right. If that's good and all that. Okay, so all you needed was the id. Okay. All right. So you. So are you. AI.

[Dana Carvey]

No.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Do you like what's going on?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Tell me about yourself, young fella. Tell me about yourself.

[Dana Carvey]

Make sure you get that.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Look who's here.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Walk over the store.

[Dana Carvey]

Is this real?

[David Spade]

I don't know.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Come on, walk over. Here we go. Get right here. Tell me about yourself, young fella.

[Dana Carvey]

I've been growing up in the streets.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Seen a lot of violence, seen a lot of things.

[David Spade]

I mean, I can see concealing, carry. Seen a lot of things.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Then I seen him, met him.

[Dana Carvey]

He told me the law.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Now we outside with the job, and

[Dana Carvey]

I do it first, so you can do it second.

[David Spade]

Is he a. There's a lot of violence in Chicago.

[Dana Carvey]

Things that you told me I would be. You can believe it now.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Okay, so you got this. You mean.

[David Spade]

Well, this.

[Dana Carvey]

How much. How much is it?

[David Spade]

Well, those are cops walking behind him.

[Dana Carvey]

This might be fake, but.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Okay. All right, so.

[David Spade]

All right, we'll look up. If concealing. Concealing car is one thing.

[Unidentified Speaker (possibly a guest or character)]

Yeah, it's in business. What you want to be when you.

[David Spade]

You can jump out.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I don't know. I mean, it. Just forgetting the law or. Or anything, it's just if. If a guy was walking around like West. West Hollywood with the ar, just like that look, kind of sketch and twitchy. I mean, you'd be like, your instinct is like, this doesn't feel right. I mean, right.

[David Spade]

What.

[Dana Carvey]

What does it cost to rent an apartment in that neighborhood?

[David Spade]

It shouldn't be too much.

[Dana Carvey]

35 cents.

[David Spade]

I mean, I wouldn't want an. I mean, when I went to Chicago and they. They probably. Other than Mississippi, they probably the most shootings every weekend. So they. On Memorial Day, I think they had 20 shootings where people were hit. You know, some died, some didn't. But every weekend in Chicago is really terrifying and just they cannot get a handle on it. And so something like that wouldn't shock me. It would shock me, I guess, because they show police walking behind them, and if someone. If the police aren't saying anything, then

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know which it really gets back to like 1880 or something. Like, okay, you just.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Wild west.

[Dana Carvey]

You. There's no real law enforcement. There's one dude who's. Who's scared, and he's up in his

[David Spade]

office, Barney 5 and.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, so then you just got to have weapons, walk around with A shotgun? Yeah. Could I get a. Give me some. I want some of this gum here. Maybe like give me a Coca Cola, right? Please. I'm gonna pay, but I just wanted to.

[David Spade]

Well, buy. I think people will pack because they have to say, listen, I don't know what's out there.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, where is the line? If you got basically a machine gun, you're just a young man cruising around or a woman. Can you drive a tank in the town? Could you have a. Grenades around you and just have, you know, I need protection. What's illegal.

[David Spade]

We'll look that into that one, see if it's fake. I just.

[Dana Carvey]

I hope you would.

[David Spade]

Because Arizona's concealed carry. So you can have a gun on you at all times as long as you're not whipping it out. Or there's some where you have to show it so they know they see it in a holster. But carrying around a machine gun, well,

[Dana Carvey]

there's something about, you know, I. I don't intimidate. You want a person with a weapon to be really. It feels like that guy just bought it and slung it around.

[David Spade]

It doesn't look like it's professional with it.

[Dana Carvey]

It just seemed too casual, you know. I mean, if it's. It's concealed carry and you really know how to use the weapon and you're vetted and you qualified and you trained for it, you know.

[David Spade]

You know, I have. I used to have a deer rifle and a 300. This. Those. That mag had bolts that look like the kind I use in a deer rifle, which I got for my 10th birthday. Folks, that's. Thanks.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you ever get joy in shooting a deer or was it just called a deer?

[David Spade]

No, I wound up not shooting deer because we shot a lot of doves and stuff. My brother Andy didn't like it, which he had the best hunch. And then as I went on, I didn't like it. I mean, dove and. And quail and stuff, but rabbits. But after a while you start to go, wait, what are we doing? You know, And. And deer. I think the only problem is you see them in the sights, aside from their adorable. But you see them in the target and you're like, okay, I won. They're not moving. All I have to do is pull the trigger. I mean, it's not really like you're so good at it, you know, it's like you're hiding. You see it. They're just doing their business. It's like someone being a sniper here, you can always pick someone off. It's not like some Big heart.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I know. I mean, it's. It's a complicated subject because a lot of people eat meat in this country, you know, but more it's like one

[David Spade]

of a. I don't want to be the trigger man, though.

[Dana Carvey]

It wouldn't be fun. I mean, because, you know, if you're going to slay an animal, you want it to be for sure. Like just, you know, over rather than. I think I winged him. Let's go. And you know, you know, I don't like that guy.

[David Spade]

Southern.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I don't know why I made him Southern. I. I don't got any problem with southern people, you understand.

[David Spade]

What's that? Duck show. Duck Dynasty.

[Dana Carvey]

I know.

[David Spade]

All right, when should we do one more? Is that it? What do you think? You gotta go home.

[Dana Carvey]

I am gone.

[David Spade]

Dana. I had a wonderful time with you. I wore my Budweiser shirt.

[Dana Carvey]

It's old shirt looked awesome in the. In the. In the. Look your. The hat and the shirt you won today.

[David Spade]

My hat's a little big again, but

[Dana Carvey]

I just pulled out the white thing matching.

[David Spade]

It's cool. It's a fragile ocean. It's a surf company. But the thing about it, I don't want to look like nascar. You know, you have. Nick Schwarzon's always like, got a hat with something stupid. And everything about him is stupid also, so it's too much.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, Swartzy Schwartz.

[David Spade]

He goes, you were in Minnesota? My brother went to the show. I got his brother tickets. He goes, you didn't even give me a shout out. I go, I met an Indian casino outside of Minnesota. I didn't think he thinks he's prince.

[Dana Carvey]

I did one recently and someone came up and said I liked. I liked hearing all the old stuff.

[David Spade]

Good.

[Dana Carvey]

Then I know you're lucky I add little things to them.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, thanks, Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

Thanks for coming on my show next week.

[David Spade]

Maybe we'll hear about the horse being born. Bye.

[Dana Carvey]

Bye.

[David Spade]

All right, listen, if you're enjoying the Fly on the Wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that God dang button on your favorite podcast app.

[Dana Carvey]

Leave a review.

[David Spade]

A good one. Leave a five star rating being nothing else, and maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think?

[Dana Carvey]

I'm gonna tell you this right now. Hear me now, believe me later. Fly on the Wall, Believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by hold for It, Dana Carvey and David Spade or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman and Leah Rees Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil Sweettech Talent Production and booking by Sophia Lepore.