Fresh Looks & JLo’s Roach

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: Fresh Looks & JLo’s Roach
Release Date: August 25, 2025
Duration Covered: 01:42–56:04
Theme:
A classic hangout episode where Dana and David riff on their new looks, swap wild personal stories, review the latest movies, riff on absurd headlines, and answer amusing fan questions. The conversation is quick-witted, full of impressions, and loaded with behind-the-scenes showbiz banter.

---

1. Opening Banter: “Fresh Looks” and Cowboy Hats

Timestamps: 01:42–05:21

• The episode opens with Dana and David comparing their current looks via video call: Dana’s “slick” hair and mustache versus David’s cowboy hat, jean jacket, and T-shirt.
• David jokes, “Do I look cool in this hat? Yes. Does the jean jacket work with the black T shirt? Yes. Do people love the Superman guy back there? Yes.” [02:26]
• Dana’s grown-out hair is compared to a “mob boss” look, prompting playful teasing: “You look like a porn director. What am I going to do? Judge it?” – David [03:12]
• Discussion shifts to sun hats, as Dana references needing protection out on his ranch: “Every hardware store has a giant... sort of sombrero, basically.” [04:43]

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2. Movie Reviews: “Weapons” and “Freaky Friday”

Timestamps: 05:21–13:41

• David on “Weapons”:
  • David attends a midday showing, running into delays at the concessions. Channeling Billy Bob Thornton, he recounts, “Lady, I don’t want any goddamn popcorn. I came here for a goddamn Coca with goddamn 20 minutes.” [07:23]
  • Praises the movie's clever mix of horror and mystery: “It’s one of those just great movies. That’s all.” [13:37]
  • Comments on genre: “No one’s trying to be funny. The comedy comes out of the characters and situations.” [13:54]
• Dana on “Freaky Friday” Sequel:
  • Explains he watched the sequel to prep for a potential Jamie Lee Curtis interview.
  • Finds the film surprisingly clever: “Freakier isn’t a strong enough word. It’s Confusing Friday, okay?” [12:18]
  • Describes a complex body swap plot that’s “like calculus instead of enjoying your math day.” [12:23]
  • Notable meta-moment: “I gave all of Freaky Friday away. But Weapons is—someone said it actually has comedy infused in it.” – Dana [13:41]
• Both riff on the idea of AI-generated sequels and talk SNL stars they’d love to have as guests—“They’re elusive, they’re light on their feet. They’re not celebrities with their schnoz out there…” – David [08:36]

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3. Standup Stories & Hollywood Stalker Fans

Timestamps: 24:00–29:54

• Dana’s Standup Set Experience:
  • Recaps a recent set at the Improv and driving back to his home, humorously described as “other people’s words, a mansion… what, 44 windows, three pantries, I don’t know what you call it.” [24:22]
• Hollywood Concerns:
  • Shares a genuinely alarming story of being followed home by autograph hounds:
    • “One of my big fears… is you get followed home, kind of like celebrity types. But anybody… and then they block you, get out, beat you up, tie you up and steal all your stuff… so I got my pepper spray right here.” [24:51–25:51]
    • Turns out to be aggressive memorabilia seekers: “Can you sign a bunch of—we got all the stuff, we got some Funkos.” [26:18]
  • Reflects on the business of autographs versus genuine fan moments: “They're not really fans… they're just, like, an interesting breed of people that really rub me wrong.” [28:44]
  • David relates with his own stories of being swarmed after shows: “I'm in this… moving human thing. And I'm signing inside this tunnel as fast as I could. And then they start going like this…” [30:13]

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4. Viral News & Weird Headlines

Timestamps: 30:24–47:28

• JLo’s Roach/Cricket Incident [30:35–32:44]
  • The pair react to a viral video involving Jennifer Lopez and a critter (cockroach/cricket).
  • “Crickets are really just cockroaches with good PR because they're both gross.” – Dana [31:44]
• Ants in the House:
  • The guys riff on the tragic fate of ants lured by toxic bait. Dana uses his “ant voice”: “For the queen! A gift for the queen is my ant substitution voice. Oh, let's bring it back to the queen!” [32:36–32:44]
• Rat Incident Video:
  • React to a viral video of a rat crawling up a woman’s pants in Vietnam.
  • “A rat up to the Chattahoochee Canal. And then she's dancing and she's got…” – Dana [38:20]
  • Transition into discussing their own animal-related home troubles (“I heard him last night above me… in my house.” – David [39:00])
• Wolf Furry Mauled by Real Wolves:
  • Absurd headline: “Colorado man mauled after attempting to join Wyoming wolf pack.” [35:22]
  • Both riff on the logic: “Wolves have great sense of smell and scent. So they know within a billionth of a second it is not a wolf.” – David [36:19]
• Hair Growth Discovery:
  • Discuss advancements in hair regrowth: “If you could have more hair than you do, even if you have 90% of your hair, you go just—with a little drop, and then it all just starts growing wherever you want it…” – David [34:14]

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5. Master of Disguise, Turtles & Showbiz Ideas

Timestamps: 46:02–47:28

• Turtle Videos:
  • Watch and riff on turtles forming a circle: “As someone who played a turtle in a movie, I can tell you, right, they are certainly turtle enough for the turtle club.” – Dana [46:02]
• Showbiz Spin-off Ideas:
  • Dana floats a “Master of Disguise” sequel: “In the sequel, I play the grandpa—the wizard—and I would love to have Bowen Yang play Pistachio.” [47:00]

---

6. Fan Questions (Q&A)

Timestamps: 47:31–54:53

Q1: Tips for Becoming a Morning Person

Emma asks: “Coffee doesn’t work anymore. Any tips for becoming a morning person?”

• David:
  • “Go in the shower, put it on ice cold. Then two big cups of coffee. If you’re not awake, then you should go to the ER.” [50:35]
• Dana:
  • Laments insomnia and bad pillows: “Sometimes I have the weirdest dreams. I sleep like shit. But if I sleep so bad my neck hurts, that's a tough day.” [48:29]
• Both share the importance of having their own travel pillows for sleep quality, riffing on SNL stories involving Mick Jagger. [48:39–49:29]

Q2: Have You Ever Disliked Someone in Showbiz and Then Became Friends?

• Dana: “I can't think of anyone at my jobs in showbiz who was really rough on me, and then later on we got along. It’s fun—common goal, good mood kind of thing.” [52:22]
• David: Emphasizes the bonding in the SNL environment:
  • “If you’re on live TV and you’re scared and you go out and you’re with a partner in the scene... It is very bonding.” [53:03]
  • Notes the cycle of friendships on movie sets that are hard to maintain post-wrap.

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7. Memorable Quotes

• “Crickets are really just cockroaches with good PR.” – Dana [31:44]
• “You look like a porn director. I look like Christian Bale from 3:10 to Yuma.” – David [04:11]
• “Go in the shower, put it on ice cold. If you’re not awake, you should go to the ER.” – David [50:35]
• “They're not really fans… they're just, like, an interesting breed of people that really rub me wrong.” – Dana [28:44]

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8. Tone & Style

• The banter is fast, improvisational, and loaded with impressions (Billy Bob Thornton, Lauren Michaels, Mick Jagger).
• Topics range from the genuinely personal and oddly vulnerable (childhood snake stories, celebrity security worries) to the playfully absurd (wolf furries, Master of Disguise sequel).
• Glimpses into the reality of being a recognizable comedian/actor—appreciating real fans, wary of seekers and autograph “bros.”
• Humorous, intimate, self-deprecating, grounded in showbiz camaraderie.

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9. Notable Moments & Segments

• Billy Bob Thornton impression at the concession stand [07:23]
• The complex “Freaky Friday” plot breakdown [11:06–12:47]
• Dana’s story about catching rattlesnakes as a child [20:23–23:37]
• Being followed by autograph seekers [26:02–29:00]
• JLo’s mystery bug video analysis [30:40–32:44]
• Q&A: Becoming a morning person and relationships in showbiz [47:31–53:37]

---

10. Episode Wrap-Up

The show stays true to its title: listeners get to eavesdrop on a sharp, funny, behind-the-scenes conversation with a pair of seasoned comedy pros. There’s a real generosity to how Dana and David share their stories—even when riffing about absurd headline news, the stakes feel personal and sincere.

Final Thought:
If you want a window into the everyday (and not so everyday) lives of working comedians—alongside a lot of the best impressions and deadpan irony in podcasting—this episode gives you plenty to enjoy, laugh, and even relate to.

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For more, follow “Fly on the Wall” on your favorite podcast platform, or catch the episodes on YouTube. Questions and comments can be sent to [e-mail].

Transcript

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[A]

My hair is select.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Can you hear? God dang, she slicked it. Heather.

[B]

Yeah? I'm gonna try these.

[A]

Oh yeah, I'm black and white. Look at us. It looks a little Richard Petty on your end.

[B]

Do you mind? My hat? I mean, first of all, don't be frustrated, don't be jealous. Just, just live with it.

[A]

Just soak it in and deal with it.

[B]

This is.

[A]

Accept it.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's Christian Bale and 310 from Yuma.

[A]

Oh, that was a killer.

[B]

It's hard to get a cool hat. I'm part cowboy. You know, I live on a farm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A ranch. If you will. If you will. And look, I could ask, I could put it as questions. Do I look cool in this hat? Yes. Does the jean jacket work with the black T shirt? Yes. Do people love the Superman guy back there?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Are they excited by your new look? I don't know.

[A]

We'll find out. No, my hair is combed and I got the chops in. But I'm trying to grow the middle out again. It's just not as fast as I want.

[B]

You know what you look like right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is basically. And it's a compliment. You look like a mob boss. I mean, you look like someone who. Because the mustache and the thing. I mean, you look like you. You're gonna call a hit on somebody.

[A]

My glasses look bigger than normal. Right. I don't know why. Maybe it's because this weird angle maybe got a.

[B]

Because the hair slick back.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. God, it's like way back.

[B]

Yeah. What's with this slicky MC Slick. Yeah.

[A]

Porn director. And action.

[B]

And action. Let's get it, everybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There was something I wanted to share with you. I did a second. You know, a philosophy of life that helps me, you know?

[A]

Please.

[B]

A friend of mine used to say this to me. He'd say. And he was from Brooklyn. He'd go about life. You go. You do what you do. I do what I do. Rub a chicken capish.

[A]

Never heard that one.

[B]

But think about the brilliance of that. You do what you do. I do what I do. Rub a chicken capish.

[A]

But what's the rubber chicken part?

[B]

I never knew.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I never knew.

[A]

Get the. Do your own thing. Sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I. I don't mind this.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You look like a porn director. What am I going to do? Judge it? I'm just going to say you're going to. You look like a porn director. I look like Christian Bale from 310 to Yuma.

[A]

I'm the porn director that has come on that couch. This is a modeling audition. But let's lose the top. Dana, A lot of people that live out there. Like, my brother lives up by San Fran, and I know where he lives. He has those big pineapple picker hats. Do you have one of those at the old.

[B]

Absolutely. That's like you. They're everywhere. Every hardware store has a giant, like, sort of sombrero, basically. Maybe I'll take a break halfway through and put it on. And it's complete coverage. Because I get just blasted out here because I don't like. I'm not a sunscreen guy. I mean, you get in the morning and sunscreen yourself, but I don't. So on the way in and out of stores, it's so hot up here. You go. So I have one of those in my car. And you can wear them into stores, but they're giant. That'll be for our next fly on the wall, please.

[A]

Also, you're just talking about 310 to Yuma. I saw a movie recently. What did you see Recently?

[B]

I saw a little thing I like to call weapons.

[A]

Weapons I've heard a lot about.

[B]

I had no idea what weapons. Who, you know, what does it mean?

[A]

What is it? What's the billboard? All this.

[B]

Yeah. Impression of me looking online about that movie. What's going on? I don't know. What is it? You know, it's number one with the bullet.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

It's horror and mystery. And you got 100 of rotten tomatoes. Normally for horror. So I said way. So I went. I went to see it at my favorite time. High noon.

[A]

High noon.

[B]

High noon and way.

[A]

So you go in? Yeah, like a normal guy. Celebrities are just like us.

[B]

Look. I go. I go at 11am or noon. These are guilty pleasures. It's me and two chatty teenage girls up. Up behind me. So it's literally empty. But I take my time, like I said. Okay, I'm gonna get some water. Supposed to hydrate, right?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So I go to the snack boss, the connection, concession, concession concessions with the concessions. So I see two people. I won't make any judgment about them, but I don't want to exaggerate. I think it took them probably a good 15 minutes. And they had been up at the counter before I got there. It's a ghost town. No one's around. There's the person. So it's popcorn. It's frizzle sticks. It. It's. It's a pizza. It's. It's hot dogs. And another large cook. Not a large cook. Yeah, it went on and on. The guy was sweating. He kept going in the back, bringing out more popcorn or he's doing stuff. He's got, you know, little baked.

[A]

Do you have better hot dogs in the back? Yeah, let me go look.

[B]

So that was frustrating because I thought I was going to miss the movie. So I got up there and I realized lately if I'm upset, I get a little ornery. I start to channel Billy Bob Thornton from Landmine. So I get up there and it's like, lady. She goes, you want any popcorn? I go, lady, I don't want any goddamn popcorn. I came here for a goddamn Coca with goddamn 20 minutes. Now you got some more help. Because guess what's on right now. The coming attractions. And that's the best thing I see all day. All movies suck. You got to know that by now. But coming attractions is two minutes, ten movies that suck. So give me my goddamn Coke and I'll get out of here. She goes, that'll be $12. $12, my ass. So I got really into and I walked away.

[A]

Yeah, for sure you did. You can wave your arms around all goofy. That's what he says. The new T Mobile commercial.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They let him say goofy.

[B]

I know, because. But he's so great in that part. And can we have him come on our podcast? I love him.

[A]

I think I've seen him out in the world.

[B]

He's too cool for school.

[A]

I mean, he's hard to flush out. I would like Bonicio. I would like Billy Bob. I want Owen Wilson and Joaquin.

[B]

I know, they're. They're elusive, they're light on their feet. They're not celebrities with their schnoz out there. What do I get, you know? Look at me. Yeah. So I'm just say right now, Billy, if you're watching this goddamn podcast, you know, guess what? Yeah. We could use some more downloads, and we need someone with your star power, so get your ass off the couch.

[A]

Well, I saw Freaky Friday.

[B]

No.

[A]

Can you believe this, Dana?

[B]

Why?

[A]

Well, I have a really good reason. You know what it is? While you were kicking back in your hammock up there, we got a call saying, do you guys want Jamie Lee Curtis tomorrow? Can you do it tomorrow? And I said, yeah. And so I guess what I did ran out to Freaky Friday. I said, one of us should see this. And I hadn't seen the first one, and I went with a dude, which is even funnier, and he's this tough guy, and I'm eating before the movie. I kept saying, did you see the first? Have you seen Freaky Friday? He goes, freakier. I go, what are you talking about? He goes, this one's called Freakier Friday. Oh, shit. Hold on.

[B]

Oh, that's me calling you.

[A]

No, it's Lovett's.

[B]

Hang it up, Heather.

[A]

You might have to get my picture back. Come here. But anyway, so I go. He kept saying, it's freakier. I go, no one doesn't know what I'm talking.

[B]

Jesus. He won't take no. It's silence that.

[A]

Heather, text him and tell him to zip it. God dang love, it's. What do you want?

[B]

I can't live without you. It's weird.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I love you so much.

[A]

So I go. So I go see the movie anyway, by the way, long story short, Jamie Lee had to push it till December. But anyway, I have to say, I did like the movie. I'm glad I went, because the positives are the Lindsay Lyon is a talent. She's great. She's super adorable, cute, funny, movie star. And Jamie Lee Curtis was funny. And you know how they got. Got her to do stuff. She's the grandmother, which is usually sort of thankless, but the kids. This is where it gets a little tricky. The first one, Lindsay and Jamie Lee Curtis flip flopped, right? I guess lightning bolt hits or something. Whatever happens, this one, her kid and her friend at school are fighting a dark haired girl.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

So you got to follow this. They hate each other right now. Spoiler alert. Turn it off. Don't turn off though. Turn on mute. So Lindsay Lohan goes to. What is it called? A truth. A future teller. Whatever.

[B]

Fortune teller. Jesus. God dang. What the. You go to a regular person on the goddamn show. What the am I doing on this show?

[A]

I'm a pro talker to figure out.

[B]

And you are. You're a professional talker. So go ahead. Who swaps?

[A]

Look it up. Heather, who is the girl as a fortune teller? It's on. She's on. She was on snl. She's funny and she does a great job. You know, the lightning hits and the wiggly.

[B]

Oh, Heidi Gardner.

[A]

It wasn't Heidi Gardner. It wasn't Rachel Dredge. Sort of that era. And. And so anyway, but they flip flop like this. Jamie Lee goes into the friend. Lindsay Lohan goes into her daughter. The friend goes into Jamie Lee. So whenever someone talks, you're like, I need a schematic.

[B]

So it's a triple swap.

[A]

It's a quadruple.

[B]

That's why it's freakier, because the first one was just mother daughter swap.

[A]

Yeah, freakier isn't a strong enough word. It's confusing Friday, okay?

[B]

It's all right. You know, you go for the quadplex with the foursome there swapping. You spend half the time doing calculus instead of enjoying your math day.

[A]

FBI chart behind you with all the name. Okay, this person just said this joke that means she's old now talking about Pampers, but they did. It was a little more clever than I thought. It was kind of well written and the scenes all lent themselves, you know.

[B]

Low expectations much?

[A]

Look, well, I didn't know. I thought it was like for children and it was kind of funny, you know, so I'll give it up. I think you said weapons was really good. We didn't get into it, but you.

[B]

Said weapons is really good. That was Vanessa Bayer, by the way.

[A]

Look, okay, good.

[B]

Yeah, two things. One is when I. When I see these sequels years later, I just go with AI Wayne's World 3 I'm just putting it out there.

[A]

And what would you do? You could also do it as a puppet show if you want.

[B]

You could do anything.

[A]

You could just do little puppets and go, hey, guard.

[B]

I have a Garth puppet. It's in the garage, though. I'm bringing that out. I'm bringing my puppets out for the next one. They're just pop the. God damn it. No. What? Weapons was one of those just great movies. That's all.

[A]

I heard this and I don't want you to give away because I think people are still seeing it.

[B]

Right. I won't give it away.

[A]

I gave all of Freaky Friday away. But Weapons is. Someone said it actually has comedy infused in it. Quality comedy. So it. It's an interesting hybrid.

[B]

Right. I will say that possible. No one's trying to be funny. The comedy completely comes out of.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Characters and the situations they're in that the casting of the people is perfect. Amy Madigan is in it. And for a long time I didn't know. God, who is this?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because she plays a cool, weird character.

[A]

Good.

[B]

You know Josh Brolin, like, he's. He's stocky enough that when he punches something, you know, you kind of believe that he's going to do damage.

[A]

You know Thanos. Yeah. He's a. He's a bruiser play. He has a cool old school dude look. Yeah.

[B]

And I'm sorry. The lead is so good. Can you look this up, guys?

[A]

She was one of our 500 team.

[B]

Yeah. You know the credit roll at the end. It's number 17. We'll figure this one out. Who is it?

[A]

The lead guy?

[B]

No, the woman who, who played this school teacher.

[A]

Look how you just pushed in. Did you see this, Heather?

[B]

I didn't do anything.

[A]

Oh, that's hysterical.

[B]

Oh, look at you. I could see her now. I can see you.

[A]

No one can see what happened is Dana's. We'd have a split screen, but we're small. Dana got bigger, which he liked. And that's what I'm sure he was so excited about that. And then it went for both big. Oh, my God. This is groundbreaking. This is something where we should call.

[B]

George Lucas instead of Freakier Friday. This is flyer Wally.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Mad, sad or just plain bad.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Well, what we learned is the people in weapons. It's funny, but they're not sweaty and thirsty like us for laughs.

[B]

Like, it's like a Stephen King book to me. Or it's been influenced by different things, but it makes something new and it just really works. And even for myself, because I know the rabbit gets out of the hat when the person's in the dark haunted room and the camera goes tight on them. You're waiting for the pop. You're waiting for the. You know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I. I still. At this age, I just squint at that point. I don't want to. I know it's coming.

[A]

I still. I actually do that too. Or I cover my eyes or my ears because it's too much of a jump scare.

[B]

Yeah. There was also just a sound scare.

[A]

And I'm. No one would believe this. I'm such a colossal pussy that I can't. I've never seen a scary movie. Never seen Exorcist, Halloween, anything. Amityville, these old ones, Friday 13th. Nothing. So this one feels like it's a little scary and our kids involved makes it scarier.

[B]

Yeah. Everyone knows the basic premise. 17. Okay, there's kids involved. There's kids involved. But.

[A]

Well, they're on a poster, so they're doing something.

[B]

But most the movie is just. You're into like a mystery of missing people.

[A]

I like it. Okay, so it's clever.

[B]

It's clever. Who's going where? And so I'm gonna see it again. It's very.

[A]

Could I handle.

[B]

Well, I didn't want to say this, but we should have. If I could do confetti, I would, but that is now, according to my AI. That's the hundredth time us doing this podcast where you called yourself a colossal.

[A]

Colossal. Oh, is it really? Is that one of my big things?

[B]

Colossal pussy.

[A]

Well, people are onto it now.

[B]

You're actually kind of a tough character. You're never afraid on an airplane. I'm strapped in sucking on a Heineken. You're up there kind of singing and dancing.

[A]

I have to tell you, when I was living in Casa Grande, Arizona, from when I was 8 to 12, my brother, you know, it's desert. So the fun things to do are connect or collect snakes and stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So we had. In his room, my mom let him. We had no dad around. So this is where the. This kind of gets a lopsided. But she let him have five rattlesnakes in a Cage in his room, a boa constrictor and a python. Python got out. Pope boa got out. And one time he came up to me with the rattlesnake. He's got gloves on. He goes, touch it.

[B]

Touch it.

[A]

And I go, no.

[B]

And he goes, touch it.

[A]

Touch it or I'll bash your face. So I touched the front of it.

[B]

He was. What are you doing?

[A]

I don't. I don't know what the game is here. I be beat up or touch it. You were. He was very pushy about it. I think that was. I wasn't supposed to touch it, but it didn't bite me. So I think he was holding it so tight, it didn't get to go.

[B]

Gadoosh. Yeah, I've said this before, but, you know, we used to have kids. Performer, Desert Dan at a birthday party. All these kids would bring all his little rabbits and tortoises and a bow constrictor and what dad here will volunteer to have. Arnold. Arnold the bow constrictor. So I. The kid, look, I go, okay. So it gets around my neck, and then it starts tightening, of course, and the kids are laughing.

[A]

Are you gonna die?

[B]

Arnold likes you. That's why he's.

[A]

He's hugging you around your neck. No.

[B]

So that's my. I'm gonna cough now because of that.

[A]

Look at. Don't do those tricky bits, dude.

[B]

That was. That really constricted me. But, yeah, it sounds like you and your brother had a delightful relationship.

[A]

I will say I might have told you this, but Brian, my brother, is great, and he's the toughest one. So he. He definitely got bit by one of the rattlers. But one time we found a rattlesnake on our driveway. My stepdad, who was a little buzz, came home from work and he saw us with tennis rackets on the driveway for about 20 minutes. We were trying to wrangle it, to pick it up behind the head and put it in a jug of empty milk carton, not a full one. And then it kind of stays in the bottom. It doesn't. It's hard to get out. So we're doing this maneuver, and he comes home and he's drunk, and he goes, what are you doing? Trying to play tennis with it. That was his first big laugh. And then we said, no, we're trying to get the milk carton. He goes, you just pick it up and put it in, and it bit him. Now, we knew there was a reason why we weren't just picking it up and putting it. And it Bit him. And then he goes. And then he stuffed it in, acted like it was nothing. There you go. And he goes, I'm gonna go take a nap. I go, I bet you will. So he went in and we were.

[B]

How old are you giving your dad?

[A]

We were probably 9, 11 and 13. My stepdad. So we could push him a little bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And then we were like all three lined up like the Brady Bunch, looking into the living room. He's asleep and his arm starts to swell. Then his whole shoulder and the side of his face. And we had to wake him up and go, hey, you got to go to the doctor. So we took him in. He was purple. It got all purple. But he made it. He made it through.

[B]

Did anyone. Did the 13 year old think to suck the poison out of the wound and spit it out?

[A]

No. Perv. What happened was.

[B]

Isn't that we're supposed to do.

[A]

That's a rumor. Yeah. I don't know if it's real, but everyone knew that one. Not only just chuck the poison, take a pocket knife and cut the two holes together.

[B]

Right? Yeah, I've seen it in western movies.

[A]

Anyway, we never. Never came to that. I will tell you something. Last night, quickly, I did a set at the Improv.

[B]

Of course. And you crushed.

[A]

Look at Heather. Heather's waiting to hear this because she asked me what happened last night. Okay. Drive home, my sweet car, you know, lost in some tunes. Now I have a sort of a little road that goes up to my mansion.

[B]

Oh, I know the road.

[A]

Yeah, a mansion. I mean, what am I saying? This is other people's words, you know, what? 44 windows, three pantries. I don't know what you call it.

[B]

This 17 bedrooms. I've been in two of them. Yeah. Your house could fit inside your kitchen. Let's put it that way.

[A]

If my house had a baby. No. So anyway, my gate is skinny, obviously. Three of my friends have scraped their cars like I can't open her.

[B]

Oh my God. Yeah, that. That's horrible.

[A]

That's the worst. It's skinny. Anyway, but one of my big fears is what happens in LA because it's crime riddled, is you get followed home. Kind of like celebrity types. But anybody followed home go in your. Follow you into your driveway, and then they block you get out, beat you up, tie you up and steal all your stuff. Right. And so, of course. So that's happens a lot around here. For real. So it's a trick where they block you can't get out, but they follow you home. So I'm going up this crummy little street which is pretty skinny, and there's two cars behind me. I don't even notice. And I'm like, they're kind of on my ass. So I go, well, oh, of course. That's the first thing I think up there.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And there's. It's pitch black up.

[B]

Oh, it's a perfect place for carjacking.

[A]

Perfect robbery, perfect crime. So I pull over and I got my pepper spray right here. And I go, I can't. I don't want to pull into my driveway. So I just pull right before, like let them pass.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They pull up next to me and stop. So what do you do?

[B]

And it's pitch black.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's dead quiet neighborhood, windy road.

[A]

Five guys in a car, a car behind them.

[B]

Five guys in a car pull up and stop alongside you.

[A]

And I got my window cracked and they got theirs down. And I got this. And they're not going past me.

[B]

I think I know.

[A]

And I lean over you do.

[B]

They go, hey, do you know where Jensen street is?

[A]

Close. Hey, can you sign a bunch of. We got all the stuff. We got some Funkos. And I go, get the out of here. I go, you guys, they followed me from the improv. Two cars.

[B]

Oh man, I lit them up. I've never heard of that.

[A]

But they almost got sprayed. And if. And then I went into my driveway. I was kind of nervous now because. And I went in and I go, if they come behind me, I'm going to get the gun. Just going to show it to them, like, hey, this is for real. Now you're. Now you're in my house. Like, you can't do this. Because they were at the improv and they were in front of the gate and they're all waiting with stuff to sign. And then I signed one on the way in, but I go, that's it. I'm not going to sign anyone. I leave because they get like a clump. It's kind of nerve wrack. So they're all clumped up by when I drive out and I waved through the window. They're not really fans, so I love fans. But we talked about this before, like at the airport.

[B]

It's not fans. It's a business. And there can be a little aggressive sometimes in their angry.

[A]

They've never. So they follow me all the way home, which I didn't realize that's even scarier. Knowing situational awareness. I don't know.

[B]

Someone, it's a ways away. You don't live around the block. It's like a long follow. I mean, I'm just imagining the conversation. Hey, we got our bungos. We got. We got our Joe Dirt posters. Babe, we're gonna cook. Hey, he didn't sign.

[A]

Hey, Eddie, follow him.

[B]

Let's follow him. And they pile into a car.

[A]

Is anyone going? This isn't a great idea. This isn't a great.

[B]

No, let's not follow him. He's gonna get.

[A]

He didn't love it at the improv. Do you think he's gonna love it in his driveway?

[B]

He's gonna be pulled over in his driveway at his house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're getting too famous. I've said it before.

[A]

I don't know if it's that. I think it's just these guys because they do it to other people that are there. But when you're on the bill and the improv's great, by the way, they try to go here.

[B]

It makes me want to go do sets down there and then ditch the guys who want to sign.

[A]

Well, because they're just not. Listen, I sign stuff. All you do the same thing.

[B]

I do it. You're like, I can't do anymore. Because they could go two hours if you friendly.

[A]

Yeah. If you don't stop. And then they still hate you. But the worst is blue marker for this. No, use the. So no, put it on the side. Don't put my name. Put it. Put it right next to Adam's name. Make sure. And then I've got this one. This is my daughter, and she's a big fan.

[B]

Oh, I come out. Yeah. We just. Could you please? And. And then they start to fight amongst each other. You got enough, dude. You got, like, 10 from him. And they refer to you as him. He's got to sign some more.

[A]

He's being really weird. Me. But anyway, that story, I won't milk it because we talk about the stuff before. Love the everyday. Fans talk all day, have a great time. So that these are just, like, an interesting breed of people that really rub me wrong. I hate it. I can't stand it. That's it.

[B]

I support you.

[A]

We won't beat it up too bad.

[B]

No, no. It's just you'd have to be in this situation. It sounds like first world problems.

[A]

I saw you at Largo once, and you left Largo. And when I drove around, there was probably 15 people around you in a circle. And I see Dane in the middle going, this sign, selfie. Sign, selfie. Which guy did I not get they give you another one. Trick me over here. No, you know, I got me.

[B]

First of all, it was bedlam because you and I were interviewing Mr. Will Ferrell.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And so Will draws a pretty intense crowd. And then he.

[A]

He's.

[B]

He got. He had an escape pod or a helicopter or something. Like, he's gone. And then I'm kind of waiting. I go out the side and I see you driving by. No one's bugging you. Honking wave. So long, Suc. So then they're like. They're swarming. They're down the street. Then they see there's one last quasi celebrity done. So they get all around me and.

[A]

I'm like, you innocently were walking down the street.

[B]

I thought I was going to cross the street, just be fine. Then I'm in this. My asthma. I'm like, just in. I got plankton. I can't move. I'm part of this. This. This moving human thing. And I'm signing inside this tunnel as fast as I could. And then they start going like this.

[A]

They never end because they got a new one.

[B]

Really mad. Where's David? I don't know. I don't know where David Spade is. Why would he go away? Well, because he goes away. But look, if you want to follow him, this is his address.

[A]

And, yeah, he likes it. He does it better at the house. All right, let's get to some news stories. Let's really let people know what's going on in the world. The stupidest stories in the world.

[B]

Not at all the best.

[A]

Okay, this is JLo. Oh, okay. Play it. Oh, I think I know what this is. Look at her neck. Heather, did you see this? You've seen this? Look at her. See that? Dana.

[B]

Can see it. Is this AI, though.

[A]

Go for the jugular. Get off of him. That was good tickling. What'd you say?

[B]

Where was she?

[A]

Oh. Was it a cricket or a cockroach? What do you think, Dana?

[B]

Now we're in a wide shot.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I would say it'd be a cricket. I don't know. I don't know why I think that.

[A]

What are you more scared of?

[B]

I don't like cockroaches, especially crickets make little sounds. I mean, croc.

[A]

Yeah, crickets are really just cockroaches with good pr because they're both gross.

[B]

You know, it's weird. And you may know. You may know this, but. So we get ant infestations up here. It's around the tub, and all of a sudden there's a hundred thousand Ants. And you're looking at them, and they're like, what are they doing? And then you bring in the ant trap that attracts them. So then we have a million ants, and they're frantically getting inside the trap. They think it's really good, juicy stuff. And then they take it out and they go back to the queen. Oh, and give it to the queen. So the idea is you have to kill the queen to kill the colony. That's how clever this is. And they're all super happy. And sometimes you see them running into each other like opposite sides of a freeway.

[A]

So excited. Get to the queen.

[B]

And then they're like, this is so juicy.

[A]

For the queen.

[B]

A gift for the queen. Oh, a gift for the queen is my aunt. Substitution voice. Oh, let's bring it back to the queen. Oh. Oh, no.

[A]

Please accept this crumb of poison. They don't know. We should have a tester.

[B]

Yeah. So anyway, that's, you know, it's. It's. It's sort of weird. You're kind of murdering, like, a million separate little ants.

[A]

I know. It feels weird. You know, if you ever have ans in your bed, that's. I had ants when I stayed at this guy's house at U of A doing stand up. Got me a gig. But there's nowhere to stay. And everyone keeps going. We'll figure it out. I don't like that plan. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. So we're drinking. I kept going, well, where do I put my stuff? Or I just want to know some safety.

[B]

What am I doing here wound up.

[A]

At that party house? No one had a plan, so they go, just sleep there in a lazy boy chair. So it's about this far back. Oh, my God. I'm getting another call.

[B]

Can't you silence it?

[A]

How do I do it?

[B]

How do you silence your phone? Heather.

[A]

Artie Lang.

[B]

Artie Lang.

[A]

It's Artie Lang. Is that crazy?

[B]

God, we get better guests just calls that you.

[A]

We should just put them on. Everybody calls. Just jump on.

[B]

Oh, and this is Mark Wahlberg and Brad Pitt calling.

[A]

Well, so. Oh, we did the ants. Okay. All right, let's do the next story. Oh. UCLA develops a molecule that regrows hair in one week by reactivating follicles. There's no chance. Because I would run down there right now. Everyone would. Well, if you could have more hair than you do, even if you have 90% of your hair, you go just.

[B]

With, like, a little drop. And then it all just starts growing wherever you Want it. But what if you did it in the wrong place and it's splattered on the tip of your nose? I mean, there are hazards to this.

[A]

You almost said wiener. I'm not saying it. This show Wiener.

[B]

No, I, I believe that in the. With AI biochemical stuff and these kinds of, you know, DNA and all that they're, they're going to be able to just solve.

[A]

I mean, can they do it already? Like enough people are bald. You prove your point. Let's get. You can do everything else. Let's go.

[B]

It's a trillion dollar. It's a quill addressable market. Oh yeah, because we don't.

[A]

Vain world. Of course, of course you would.

[B]

Yeah, it'd just be like.

[A]

Yeah, I'd rub it all over my arms. Be like this.

[B]

What's up? Yeah, I'd rub it. Yeah, I'd love it.

[A]

Yeah, you know, I rub it.

[B]

That's why you look like a porn director. And now you're talking like one. Yeah, give me that dropper.

[A]

Okay, next one.

[B]

What's next?

[A]

Colorado man mauled after attempting to join Wyoming wolf pack. Oh, he dressed like a furry, dress like a wolf and he crawled around. Oh boy. This is not a good idea.

[B]

Man from Fort Collins who identifies as a wolf furry has been mauled in Wyoming after attempting to join an actual pack of wolves. A self described wolf furry from Fort Collins is recovering.

[A]

Oh, he lives after attempting to integrate.

[B]

Himself into an actual.

[A]

All right, that's enough of wild. We got it.

[B]

28 year old lupus Moon Howl, legally known as Brian Sanders.

[A]

Okay, that's enough.

[B]

Well, I love how happy the narrator is. I mean I wanted to.

[A]

Sometimes I wish I could find these without the narrator because that's our job. But yeah, Lucas Mulhow, I, I think I remember him from my yearbook. But he's crawling around. It's just Bad Idea.

[B]

Gets in a little wolf outfit and tries to call around. So first of all, wolves have great sense of smell and scent. So they know within a billionth of a second it is not a wolf. He's like, hey, what's going on here?

[A]

What are we all doing wolf wise tonight?

[B]

Yeah. So then they just start mauling. But I guess he didn't really get hurt. But you know where he blew it.

[A]

He called it. He goes, let's go look for sheeps. And they're like, it's sheep. So what's going on? This guy's weird. Also, Bad Idea Jeans. He could have been in that commercial.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Were you in Bad Idea Jeans?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Do you remember what your joke was?

[B]

No. Oh, you mean that the Saturday Night Live commercial parody?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I don't think I was in that.

[A]

I think I was in Bad Idea Jeans. Three Legged Jeans.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I was not Mom Jeans. Yeah, jeans is a good thing for a bit. I think they did a Calvin Klein. They've done a million Gene bits.

[B]

Yeah. I think Mom Jeans was pretty memorable because the look was so funny on them.

[A]

I think that was Tina Amy time wasted and.

[B]

Yeah, Puffy. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, hilarious. Tina Fey, always funny. Okay, what's next? Rat runs into napping woman's pants in Vietnam. Vietnam, no rules. Let's see. Oh, yuck. Oh, my God. Heather, Will you want to. Can we try this with you? No. They play gangam style.

[B]

G.

[A]

I thought that was a rat in the bottom left. Oh, that's someone's head.

[B]

So does. Okay, so can you. Did it ever go out of her pants? I couldn't tell.

[A]

Yeah, turn the sound off. Let's try it again.

[B]

Okay, let's.

[A]

Okay, so.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Relaxing on the floor. There it goes. Goes up.

[B]

It goes up her pants.

[A]

A rat up to the Chattahoochee Canal. And then she's dancing and she's got.

[B]

Oh, and then.

[A]

See, it ran. Yeah, it's like, where was I?

[B]

Was that a ring camera or. Who's taking that shot?

[A]

I think that sounds like a store camera. That seems like a cctv. Right?

[B]

Well, that's the thing is, like, you know, I know people like my wife. I really hates rats. Yeah, they don't really.

[A]

I know a lot of people really hate rats. Yeah, rats don't really bother me as much. And mice have a good rep, pretty much. Rats, bad rap.

[B]

Oh, by the way, I heard last night. I heard him last night above me.

[A]

Rats in here.

[B]

In my house. What do you hear? The attic. Well, we have. We have a guy come out and I had him out a couple weeks ago, so then I'm gonna wait and see. But yeah, it's pretty loud. Feels like they're chewing on something up in the attic.

[A]

Yeah, chewing on wires. You know, I thought I had a rat in my closet because I heard Round and round what comes around.

[B]

Is that a rat song?

[A]

That's the band rat. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I assume there was a connection. I'm so glad there was, but.

[A]

Okay, one more.

[B]

Let's, let's. Let's do this.

[A]

Then we're gonna take some calls, I think.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, here's. This is like something I would never do. We. Of course, Spade won't Do it. Just. This video I don't like. Oh, that guy is okay. Very high.

[B]

What am I looking at? Way high up.

[A]

I think he's got one of those stick. Where's the camera?

[B]

Is he like 300ft in the air? And was he.

[A]

Oh, he's doing a handstand. Not a chance. I would just jump, but I would not do this. He's talking in how high?

[B]

He's above water, right?

[A]

Yeah. That looks like a little dinky pool.

[B]

A pool.

[A]

Is that a full island?

[B]

I can't tell what we're.

[A]

Okay. Handstand. Nope.

[B]

Okay. Oh.

[A]

Oh, that doesn't look deep at all. Did he hit his head?

[B]

Yeah, it didn't look near deep enough.

[A]

That looked about damn 8ft deep.

[B]

Was he all right?

[A]

He's not enough. He's okay. He's staying with me right now.

[B]

Really?

[A]

He's a little shook up. Yeah.

[B]

Is he wearing sunglasses? That mustache, too?

[A]

My horn. Look. I gotta switch up next week. I don't mind sunglasses now and then, but this new lighting makes my head shiny. And then this looks a little wrinkly. I gotta shave that. I got. I mean, it looks too.

[B]

I think it looks good. So you're using different lighting.

[A]

I'm down in the studio.

[B]

Right. So you have more diffuse, bigger lights, but you can make them. You can. I'm trying.

[A]

Yeah. And then I've got. It's black or behind me. And yours is white, which is the funniest part. It's like exactly the opposite.

[B]

I don't know. I got the little fly on the wall thing. I got Superman. I got a plant.

[A]

I got a candle, a lighter, and a nightlight.

[B]

You do what you do. I do what I do.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. Complet chicken.

[B]

No. Then. And then.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. All right, Dana. You know, I'm always dragging around, and I always got a five hour energy on me.

[B]

I know that.

[A]

Yeah. They. They're either in my sock, in the car, they're somewhere.

[B]

You keep them everywhere?

[A]

I give them a little slurp. I don't really shoot the whole thing like some people do on an empty stomach. I think I eat a little bit. Couple sips. Just like coffee. Just keep. Just keep something going.

[B]

You don't chug it?

[A]

I don't. I'm actually.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want that much energy at once. It's five hours, so I kind of, you know, that's what most people do. But I sip it. Overall, there's a lot of different flavors. Yeah. There's one called Confetti Craze that tastes like a good birthday cake, which they're all pretty good, but this is and.

[B]

Buttery flavor here to let you be unapologetically extra and unstoppably energized. Actually.

[A]

Big birthday energy. Wherever you go, there's shot. The shots are, are reasonable. You don't have to chug a full bottle or anything. You just run around with that big birthday energy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you can plan your confetti party at www5hourenergy.com or Amazon. That's available now. You know what I mean? So you can get on five hour energy. That's the number five hourenergy.com or Amazon. Unleash your big birthday party energy.

[B]

As much caffeine as 12 ounces of your fancy coffee. But zero sugar and zero sugar crash.

[A]

So yeah, and I'm not like a coffee guy, so this is kind of better for me.

[B]

You're a Five Energy Confetti Craze guy. Five Hour Energy Confetti Craze flavor is available online. Head to www5hourenergy.com or Amazon to order yours today. My wife's in laws came to visit and they're in their 80s and they're Irish and they didn't they. We wanted to put them up somewhere and so we, we got an Airbnb and we went to it. It was right in the little town and it was spectacular. It was just amazing and they loved it and so they had privacy in their time. They could walk around the little town and we didn't have to put them up here and have someone say do you know, could I, where would I get a towel if I needed a towel? You know, that kind of thing.

[A]

Where do you keep your shillelaging?

[B]

Could I get a washcloth please?

[A]

But anyway, where do you keep your potatoes?

[B]

They were really. This goes to Ireland, you know. No, but they're incredibly sweet and they had a great time. You already have an Airbnb.

[A]

That's right. While you're away, your home could be an Airbnb. Your home might be worth more than you think. Check it out. Find out how much. At Airbnb.com host we are supported by Ring. With Ring you can see more and do more with doorbells and cameras that help you see more to exciting features that help you know more to the app that lets you connect more. Pan around your home for the perfect view with pan tilt indoor cams, 360 degree coverage. Type what you're looking for and find it almost Instantly in your recorded events with smart video search and get quick.

[B]

Video preview alerts to know what's happening without even needing to go into your phone. These things are amazing. I mean, you put the. You put them up. You sleep really well. With Ring, you can see more and do more. Learn [e-mail] Some features require a subscription and are available only on select Ring devices, and exclusions apply. Learn [e-mail] all right, let's do one more story.

[A]

Then we'll take this question.

[B]

Okay, then we're going to take some. We're going to interact with you.

[A]

I like this show, though. I like it.

[B]

Yeah, I do, too.

[A]

Okay. What? Oh, yeah, I saw that. I saw a couple things of these. These turtles. You can just. If we can just show them. Look at these turtles.

[B]

What's going on here? Someone. That's a.

[A]

They always put scary music to intonate to help you decide that it's not fun. It's scary. It's like a trick.

[B]

So the turtles are all in formation under the turtles.

[A]

I've seen this a few times on Instagram. They're in a circle. There's a couple boss turtles in the middle, I think. Is that two turtles in the middle, or am I crazy? There's one. At least.

[B]

That's two in the middle, and then the others are around them. Is it. It's some kind of UFC cage match.

[A]

They're not humping.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know why they would look so perfect. I don't think it's AI.

[B]

Well, as someone who played a turtle in a movie, I can tell you, right. They are certainly turtle enough for the turtle club.

[A]

That could be a turtle club meeting. That's how I picture it.

[B]

You know, I want to do. If having Madison wants to do it, is an animated show called the Adventures of Turtleman. And his. His car looks like he's a detective. But no one. No one ever says to him, what are you, a turtle? But he's like turtle man. He just solves crime.

[A]

Oh. No one mentions it.

[B]

Yeah. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

[A]

That doesn't even have to be happening.

[B]

Otherwise, I will do a master disguise. This is a news flash. I will do a Master of disguise sequel. But in the sequel, I play. Not Pistachio, the young protege. I play the grandpa, the wizard. Oh, and I would love to have Bowen Yang play Pistachio.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That guy's funny.

[A]

Wow. Friend of the show.

[B]

Friend of the show. It's that thing of like, called Sarah.

[A]

Sherman could play your beard. Do you have a beard in it? Long beard?

[B]

Oh, we got all kinds of parts. We put. I put most of the SNL cast in there. Put Sarah Sherman in there.

[A]

She would play a big mole on your nose. She likes to play weird stuff.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Okay, let's do our question.

[B]

Oh, we're taking fan questions now?

[A]

Oh, okay. Read it. All right.

[B]

I can't. It's very small. Okay. I absolutely. Here's. Hey, guys. I absolutely hate waking up in the morning. Coffee doesn't work anymore. Any tips or tricks how to micro make myself a morning person? Thanks, Emma.

[A]

Wow. Morning person.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Well, are you kind of morning person?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I like. Generally on the farm, I get up at between 6, 6:15. Oh, I hear. I hear a rooster every morning. Oh, yeah. I hear crickets at night. I love it. And the birds and the hawks are flying in.

[A]

Yeah. Well, morning person, I get. I got up at God dang 6, 10 today. It's too early.

[B]

Not good for a nightclub comedian. Well, you said I get up. No, 10.

[A]

I slept like fuck pie, man. I slept. Sometimes I have the weirdest dreams. I sleep like shit. But if I sleep so bad my neck hurts, that's a tough day.

[B]

Where do you get your pillows? Because pillows matter. Like, my wife and I travel with a pillow. Unless we're in Four Seasons or something. Otherwise you won't sleep. It's hermit. It's a Herman Munster pillow at the hotel. Yeah, solid rubber, you know, this high or this high, we want to be able to compress it down like so. It kind of took me, you know.

[A]

20 solid years in the road of standup, of using every dog pillow. And then I finally said, what if I just brought one I like? And then that was game changer.

[B]

I could sleep with any pillow. I remember Lauren, Michael saying to me once, mickey, Mick travels with his own pillow. And I thought. And I thought, well, that's weird. Why would he have to. What? That's bour. To travel with your own pillow. Me traveling with my own pillow.

[A]

Mick goes to Duxiana.

[B]

Mick wears a tank top to bed and boxer shorts and wool socks. Thank you, Lord.

[A]

Mick doesn't like anything too constricting. You or his wife. Peter.

[B]

Mick. Mick. If it's very cold, he wears a triple blanket motif and a feather down. And then he has a pipe, a lit pipe that he smokes throughout the night just to sort of clear his lungs.

[A]

He has banaka right there in case someone breaks in. He can talk.

[B]

If Nick. If Mick wakes up in the middle of the night. He, like, kicks Keith Richards out of the bed. I go, what?

[A]

M. Goes to bed in the day and wakes up at night.

[B]

Ah, man, I want to have the movement of Mick Jagger if I get to his age.

[A]

He's doing. He's doing good.

[B]

You know what? We haven't answered the question.

[A]

Oh, morning person. Yeah.

[B]

Well, they're saying coffee doesn't work, so that's a big one. If you get up, I would say if they can't wake up, I'm going to say if you can't just start exercising. Go in the shower, put it on ice cold.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then two pie you. Two big cups of coffee. If you're not awake, then you should go to the. Go to the er.

[A]

Yeah, immediately. Okay, that's a great answer. Okay, let's go. This is the last question. Here we go.

[B]

It was a sincere.

[A]

Okay, can you ever. Was there everyone. Someone. Which is wrong. Was there ever someone you worked with.

[B]

Worked with in the entertainment industry that you thought was a dick because of how they acted at first, but then you ended up really liking them or even becoming friends?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That kind of describes our relationship.

[A]

No, you weren't. No. Who did. I. I can't think. I'm thinking of SNL first, but I can't think of anyone at my jobs in showbiz. It was really rough on me, and.

[B]

Then later on, and then we got along.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I don't mind when people are sort of tentative with me at first because they feel people out. Takes a while. You can't be like fake immediate friends, you know?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, sometimes, you know, it's really. It's. It's sort of an interesting idea of making friends as mature adults. You know, I meet people or we know couples or whatever, and the husband or the guy is just no friends. I mean, a lot of men are just sort of isolated with their job or whatever. Our job is so social. If you're working with other comedians and you really become friends with the cast that you don't even know your original cast. We were in a hybrid cast, but mostly everyone who gets on snl. When I was there, I didn't have anybody who was a dick, really.

[A]

We were all friendly. And I think what happens is the hard thing about showbiz, which is, you know, there's obviously a million positive things when you go on a movie or a show. Movies, seven to 10 weeks with everybody every day, and then gone. Then they're gone. It's so hard to keep it going, you know, they're in a different movie. You're over here, they're back in Nova Scotia, you're here, and so suddenly you're like, oh, I never see them anymore. We had such a blast. Plus, common denominator of where you're on the movie, your meeting lines. You have the same time off. You eat lunch together, you have the weekends. You're stuck in some town and then it goes away and you're like, that's tough to deal with because you're like, oh, I kind of got close to some people. That's weird.

[B]

I think if you're on live TV and you're scared and you go out and you're with a partner in the scene or two people, three people, and maybe it just barely made it to air and then. And then you land it. It just hooks the audience and it kind of kills on air. It is very bonding when you come off like, I got a. Wow, we crushed it. You know what happens is you go out into out of 8H and you see all the people around there. Where'd it go? Where'd it go?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sometimes you don't. You come out and they just sort of look away. They don't want to make eye contact.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. It's bonding when you're with a whole group on a show. Common goal. It's fun and you all have a job. It's fun. Good mood kind of thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Well, Dane, I think you've learned a lot from me today.

[B]

I did. I learned how to look like a porn director.

[A]

All right, we're going to try one more. Let's get our stunt wiener in here. I don't know how I'd be a porn. I'd be embarrassed to be a porn director. I go, okay, you guys, you know, do it or whatever.

[B]

And begin at any time.

[A]

Maybe that thing could get higher if possible. And then start the. And then maybe turn around. It's just mine.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, like. Yeah, it doesn't float my boat. I'm not someone at night.

[A]

Just, oh, I thought we had something in common.

[B]

I don't judge it, but it's. I don't know if it's actually great for people, young, young, young people being able to click on and see hardcore porn. I mean, we have Playboy magazine at. At the dump.

[A]

You know, that was Sears catalog.

[B]

Yeah. And so I don't really. I don't know if a lot of this social media porn, it's a little toxic.

[A]

The culture don't think it can be great. I think we probably agree on it.

[B]

Guess what I'm watching lately. Watch the original Batman series with Adam.

[A]

Oh, really? Adam West.

[B]

It's so funny.

[A]

Is it little William Shatner?

[B]

His delivery, he's got his own rhythm. But it's Shatner esque. He's taking lines that Robin we. But it's the whole thing is so colorful, so technicolor, fun and fun. And then the Batman character is like the ultimate American citizen. You know that they go to the Batmobile. He doesn't put a Robin, doesn't put a coin in the meter. No Robin. We must always support civic development by putting.

[A]

Yeah, we gotta do our duty. Yeah.

[B]

There's a lot of stuff in there that's really age as well. So I, I would tell young people to look. Check it out. Batman. 1960s.

[A]

The old Batman. Sounds fun. Okay, we'll see everybody next time. Thanks and bye.

[B]

Bye. Thank you.

[A]

Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite part podcast app, Give us review 5 star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

[B]

If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

[A]

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

[B]

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet.

[A]

Tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

[B]

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney and Lauren Vieira.

[A]

Reach out with us. Any questions be asked and answered on the show? You can email us at fly on the [e-mail] that's a U D a C-Y I dot com.