From Busboys & Dishwashers to SNL + Let's End White People?

Summary

Podcast Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: From Busboys & Dishwashers to SNL + Let's End White People?
Date: January 12, 2026
Duration: ~59 minutes
Hosts: Dana Carvey & David Spade

Episode Overview

Dana Carvey and David Spade riff on everything from anniversary traditions and their humble origins in the service industry, to critiques of current events, entertainment industry insights, and the state of politics and culture. They blend rapid-fire banter, satirical takes on trending news, nostalgic showbiz stories, and the occasional spot-on impression.

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Key Discussion Segments & Insights

1. Hats, Fashion, and the Jiffy Pop Generation

• [01:00–03:30] The episode kicks off with playful banter about hats—trucker hats, Reebok branding, and Spade's “bad hair” days.
  • Memorable quote:
    • "Sometimes my hair looks...so bad, I'd rather just look dumber in a hat. That's a tough decision, but I do that." —David Spade [03:05]
• Discussion humorously ages themselves by asking if younger staff know what Jiffy Pop is, tying it to current reference gaps between generations.

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2. Anniversaries, Movie Reviews, and Sydney Sweeney

• [04:30–09:55] Dana marks his 43rd wedding anniversary, jokes about traditional gifts, and debates low-key celebrations.
  • Carvey transitions to reviewing “Housemates,” a new Paul Feig movie:
    • Praises the cast, particularly Sydney Sweeney’s range, and admires the film’s blend of thriller and comedic elements.
    • On movie names and casting:
      • "Agents say to change your name just to make it easier. Like Brandon Boxcar would have been better. I'd remembered. Boom. Got it." —David Spade [08:26]
• Spade’s minor critique is film’s length, but concedes the third act’s twists deliver entertainment value.

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3. Childhood Icons and the LA Fire Anniversary

• [10:20–14:50] Banter about environmental mascots (Woodsy Owl, Smokey the Bear) leads to a more serious reflection on the LA forest fires’ one-year anniversary.
  • Both hosts vent frustration about disaster relief mismanagement:
    • "So far nothing has gone to the victims. So that was a big problem..." —David Spade [16:15]
    • On California’s public spending: "That's why people get tired of paying taxes and going, 'what are you doing?'" —David Spade [18:45]
• They emphasize the difficulty and slowness of rebuilding, issues with relief funds, and political red tape.

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4. California Politics, Homeless Crisis, and Transparency

• [18:45–21:10]
  • The conversation turns to California’s spending priorities, referencing the bullet train project, homelessness, and Governor Newsom’s lack of financial transparency.
  • Carvey suggests more states should offer line-by-line public budget access, noting the public’s frustration and mistrust.
• The duo role-plays a comedic Garth/Wayne-style audit inquiry, skewering the lack of accountability.

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5. Gambling, Predictive Betting, and Inside Info

• [21:10–22:44]
  • Jokes about losing money on sports betting and the rise of predictive gambling—not just on sports but on anything from movie profits to wardrobe choices.
  • "I could probably go through 20 billion on DraftKings during the playoffs because I'm so bad at betting." —David Spade [20:48]

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6. Medical TV Shows (ER, The Pit) and TV Pitching

• [23:02–27:19]
  • The two discuss new and recycled medical dramas like “The Pit” and “Doc,” poking fun at fast-paced hospital scripting and recycled TV formulas.
  • Spade gives a behind-the-scenes look at how TV pilots get greenlit based on showrunner reputations more than cast.
    • "If you're doing comedy and you go, Tina Fey's gonna produce it...they're looking at that more than the star." —David Spade [26:03]
  • They riff on punchy hospital lingo (e.g., “C5 474 hematoma!”) and why shows today feel faster-paced and more intense.

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7. Hollywood Auditions, Humiliation, and Showbiz War Stories

• [27:46–34:56]
  • Both reminisce about their start as busboys and dishwashers, then debate the indignities of Hollywood castings.
  • Highlights include Dana’s story of being fired from 'Blue Thunder' and later seeing the wardrobe guy, who recognized his comic talent after SNL success.
  • “I was a busboy too. But we called ourselves table maintenance personnel managers.” —Dana Carvey [41:06]

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8. Trending Clips: “Let’s End White People?”

• [35:11–39:46]
  • They dissect a Rutgers professor’s controversial comment on “whiteness” having “an end date,” acknowledging the provocative clickbait nature and societal context.
    • "Listen, whitey's having a rough go of it lately, but let's keep going." —David Spade [35:50]
• A clip of a New York official advocating for a “collective” approach to property ownership prompts a satire on socialism and property sharing.
  • “I am...rethinking my relationship with my property, you know?” —Dana Carvey [37:22]
  • Carvey draws parallels with Soviet collectivism, joking about receiving an official letter inviting him to “move into” Spade’s house.

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9. Economics, Millionaires, and Service Jobs

• [39:46–41:26]
  • Anecdotes about what it meant to be a “millionaire” in their youth, lessons in thrift, and stories from their days as fast food and hotel dishwashers. Both recall the pride (and pain) of scraping by on minimum wage.

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10. News Roundup: Diddy, Art Pranks, and the Beatles

• [42:45–55:50]
  • Quick-fire reactions to news: Diddy's Venezuela hair, Trump’s comments on George Clooney and Greenland, AI in podcasting, and rare earth mining.
  • Most memorable is a viral clip of Ringo Starr photobombing a livestream:
    • "Peace and love. The boys." —Dana Carvey, imitating Ringo Starr [54:53]
  • They muse on the Beatles’ lasting legacy and the quirks of art, like a teen facing charges for sticking googly eyes on a pricey sculpture.

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11. Art, Money Laundering, and AI Voices

• [50:03–53:44]
  • Discussion on the “absurdity” of modern art pricing, suspicions about money laundering through high-value transactions, and the inevitable rise of AI voices in media.
  • Carvey jokes about someday being replaced by his own AI-generated podcast host.

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12. Closing: Stand-Up Plugs & Reflections

• [58:04–59:00]
  • Spade plugs upcoming dates with Nikki Glaser.
  • Both share appreciation for “Tootsie” and musings on the staying power of the Beatles and classic movies.
  • They wrap up with a promise to report back with more stories next time.

---

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “It's frustrating for everyone, to say the least. And I don't even know what NGOs do...” —David Spade [16:48]
• “So then I got the silly thing, and then I was just Quentin Wonderlove in a helicopter with a helmet. A fake helicopter.” —Dana Carvey [32:26]
• “I was a busboy too. But we called ourselves table maintenance personnel managers. You know, gave us...a little juice.” —Dana Carvey [41:06]
• “Peace and love. The boys.” —Dana Carvey as Ringo Starr [54:53]
• “That’s why people get tired of paying taxes and going, 'What are you doing?’ Gavin Newsom just vetoed a bill asking for an audit of where the money for homeless goes. He said, not a chance.” —David Spade [18:45]
• “Let's make a royal blue pelican... Penguin with a gut. That's my next big project.” —David Spade [48:42]
• “When I retire, which I won't till I'm 95, but when I do, I'm gonna do visual art.” —Dana Carvey [52:01]

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Episode Structure Reference

| Timestamp | Topic/Skit/Event |
|-----------|------------------|
| 01:00–03:30 | Hat banter, Jiffy Pop, generational nostalgia |
| 04:30–09:55 | Anniversary, ‘Housemates’ movie breakdown |
| 10:20–14:50 | Woodsy Owl, Smokey the Bear, LA fire reflection |
| 18:45–21:10 | CA politics, transparency critique |
| 21:10–22:44 | Betting and predictive gambling tales |
| 23:02–27:19 | Medical drama TV, TV pitching |
| 27:46–34:56 | Audition humiliation, blue collar origin stories |
| 35:11–39:46 | Rutgers “end of whiteness” segment, collective property humor |
| 39:46–41:26 | Millionaire nostalgia, dishwasher days |
| 42:45–55:50 | Diddy/vl hair, AI, moon landings, Ringo Starr viral moment |
| 50:03–53:44 | Art, money laundering, AI voices |
| 58:04–59:00 | Standup plugs, closing |

---

Tone & Style

Light-hearted, irreverent, and nostalgic with quick wit, improvisational impressions, and a willingness to dart from pop culture satire to personal storytelling and social critique. The episode neatly blends showbiz inside-baseball with current cultural observations.

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For listeners who missed it:
Expect a rambling, joke-packed journey through showbiz memories, hot takes on current headlines, and behind-the-scenes reflections from two SNL vets who still see the world—and each other—with equal parts cynicism, affection, and humor.

Transcript

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

And my line was David, I you not. I don't think even Daniel Day Lewis could score this. I am jamming. I am jamming. Cut.

[David Spade]

That's good stuff. He's a. He's like, here's 20 bucks. I'm like to get on this mother effing roof in the summer in Arizona. Do anything if you just climb up the ladder. Give me 20 bucks.

[Dana Carvey]

I agree.

[David Spade]

I mean, we've got three people right now that agree. Me, you, and her.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, I'm not literally. You know, when you think about like, this is white. Am I white? No, I'm. I'm splotchy.

[David Spade]

No, they don't.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you have a problem with my hat?

[David Spade]

No, I like it.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, what I found out was it's. It's Reebok. Thank you. Thank you for your sponsor. But it's embedded.

[David Spade]

Reebok.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, but you can't really see it. There you go.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it's. I kind of like that. It's just black. It's a. It's not. It's like when Rob Lowe wore that one to the Super Bowl. It said, it just said NFL on it said like he didn't want to pull for one side or the other and lose fans.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it's the thing I was doing before and this is really important for people. Like your trucker hats, like, they'll sit tall on Your head, which is the way you want. You don't want them like coming down, you know. And like this one, I'm not going to wear working out. So it gets all sweaty and malformed.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

So it's kind of sitting more like a trucker hat. Anyway, that's all I got on the hat. That's a great way to start a great start.

[David Spade]

We've. We've gained millions of followers off that.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

Grab them at the top.

[Dana Carvey]

At least. At least. At least 100,000.

[David Spade]

Well, my trucker hats, I want people to know that I know they mostly look stupid. Some look cool, but most of them look stupid. But I still want.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't think they look stupid. I wouldn't.

[David Spade]

Some are too high up and too Jiffy Pop. And I don't like that. Sometimes that's on purpose with people. I don't like it.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it is a look, right? You're not the only one, but you kind of are a little bit famous for wearing them.

[David Spade]

Well, sometimes my hair looks. Is so bad, I'd rather just look dumber in a hat. That's a tough decision, but I do that.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. I mean, our Jiffy Pop.

[David Spade]

Does Greg know what Jiffy Pop means? What do you think?

[Dana Carvey]

Would he know? I'm gonna say no.

[David Spade]

Oh, do people not know that because we're so old?

[Dana Carvey]

Greg, do you know what Jiffy Pop is?

[David Spade]

Heather. You know what it is?

[Dana Carvey]

Heather, do you know?

[David Spade]

She knows.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, Greg says, of course. So can I just ask a question? It's still in stores. You can get it, right?

[David Spade]

I think it's so it's a flat aluminum pan and you go, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And then it grows.

[David Spade]

It's like a still made and sold today. What is it made out of? The.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it's aluminum tinfoil. And the. The popcorn is in there unpopped. And you go like that. And then it. The funny part, as a kid, it would just grow, grow, grow, grow.

[David Spade]

And then you popping on the inside, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. So what I do now is I'll do spinach reverse Jiffy Pop. So I put it in and it's gigantic. And then the more I stir it with the olive oil and all the stuff I do, it goes down into almost nothing.

[David Spade]

Ah, we just got bigger on screen. I just saw myself up close and it's. Fucking rough ride. So your anniversary is this week?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes, my anniversary. Yeah. Is this week? Yeah, yeah. What about it? What do you got?

[David Spade]

A point of view, Borderline personal.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, well, you know, 43 is not that exciting. You know what do you do at 43? Hey, what's up?

[David Spade]

You know, 43 is. Is that sandpaper? What's. What are you supposed to give someone at 43?

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. She gave me a hug and said, you're. You're my favorite husband. I go, there's been others.

[David Spade]

It's nice when you're at ease and it's not like I got to go out and get this crazy presence all the time. You just have. You guys are both very cool people. So it's a chill vibe.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. We might go see housemates because she hasn't seen it. I'm not saying it's the. I'm just saying it's entertaining.

[David Spade]

I will say.

[Dana Carvey]

I. Yeah, go ahead. I want to. I want to ask you a question. In terms of the gore factor, when they're doing stuff, do you think it's still kind of not horror show? It's still slightly funny, even though there's some stuff that's like that, you know?

[David Spade]

Yes. I went and saw it since our last podcast and Paul Feig. Yeah, our buddy, was on the show and he was here to talk about housemates. So I felt like, as my duty not to see it before we interview him like a normal person.

[Dana Carvey]

But I'm joining the Marines. Okay, go ahead.

[David Spade]

As my duty, civic duty, to see Sydney Sweeney late naked. I said I should go see Paul's movie and like Amanda Siegfried, Which.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

I say wrong.

[Dana Carvey]

Great.

[David Spade]

And. And there's a guy that's the lead in who I don't know, but very good looking.

[Dana Carvey]

Anyway, we should. We should get his name. Heather, Greg, could you look up the name of the male lead? Because he's all. He's awfully good and he's been around in a lot of stuff, but let's make him a household name. With the numbers we're getting, we'll make him a household.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Overnight. So I saw it and I thought it was. It had some humor. And I don't think it's really a gory horror film. There's moments, but I didn't really think that. I just thought it was one of those. I mean, it's Paul Feek, who's done so many. He's a comic and he's done so many comedies that aside from even Bridesmaids that he was. Yeah. How do you say his name? Brandon.

[Dana Carvey]

Brandon's Skleenar.

[David Spade]

Why did we even try? Well, I don't know. We ruined it. It just popped up and went away.

[Dana Carvey]

Ski Lanier. See, it's S K E L Sklinar Oh.

[David Spade]

Like Heather confidently says it possibly wrong.

[Dana Carvey]

Brandon. Brandon's Kleiner. All. All the acting's great. It's just one of those fun movies of someone going into a house that's dysfunctional and sort of a thriller. Like what's going to happen. The. There's violence a little, but it doesn't lean on it.

[David Spade]

There's sexual themes.

[Dana Carvey]

There's sexual themes. Yeah. It's Sydney Sweeney. It's in her contract. And she's really good too. She can. What's interesting about her as a casual fan, she can really mouse herself down. She can be sort of the girl next door kind of playing. Or she could go full bling and do the other thing. So she's got a wide. You know, I thought she.

[David Spade]

The only surprising thing to me. She's obviously very cute. She played it very under the whole thing. She wasn't like over the top or anything like that. She was very. Which I liked. And Amanda and obviously. And she's great actress.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And the guy who is kind of the.

[Dana Carvey]

Brandon. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Agents say to change your name just to make it easier. Like Brandon Boxcar. What have been better. I'd remembered. Boom. Got it.

[Dana Carvey]

Brandon. Brandon Rackham. Brandon Rackham.

[David Spade]

Ricky Rackham.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, Ricky Rackham. But it. You don't know if something's silent with it. S K L E N A R. Because if. If. If it's. It's Slenner. But you got the K in there. So.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Anyway, he's awfully good. So. You know, it's Paul Feig, our buddy. You know, our really good friend keeps.

[David Spade]

Saying he's a director.

[Dana Carvey]

He's the director of the film. And it does start. End in. It starts and ends with him. I mean, he is directing it and they. He got great performances and it's. It's just a fun movie. I don't want to say it's like Gone with the Win or Apocalypse now, but it's awfully entertaining.

[David Spade]

If I have to say one criticism. Am I allowed?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

A hair lengthy. But that's my overall problem with a.

[Dana Carvey]

Lot I would say without giving it away, is that you're right. So its third act was kind of elongated because it does have some things you don't see coming. And so when you. A normal thriller movie like that would end at point, whatever. This one does extend, but when it's extending, it's full of twists and turns you don't see coming.

[David Spade]

Word is they're doing a sequel also.

[Dana Carvey]

Are you starting to get it?

[David Spade]

I'm starting to get it? And the more you break it down, the more I sort of understand it.

[Dana Carvey]

That's something I've said to John Lovitz.

[David Spade]

I've heard you say that.

[Dana Carvey]

Starting to get it.

[David Spade]

Heather. We put that one down a squinch. We run a multi million dollar operation over here, Dana. We put millions into this podcast.

[Dana Carvey]

What do you. Well, look at what it go.

[David Spade]

Thank you.

[Dana Carvey]

We call this podcast Brown Door.

[David Spade]

The Brown Door Diaries.

[Dana Carvey]

Brown Door Diaries.

[David Spade]

Because I know people say, hey, that, that podcast is great if you're a woodpecker.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, that's why I'm going full woodsy and I'm going black, red, black.

[David Spade]

You're Woodsy Owl. Remember Woodsy Owl? You know what he did? You know what his phrase was? No. Who Give a hoot, don't pollute.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, to give a hoot, don't pollute. Okay. What did Smokey the Bear say?

[David Spade]

There's more to Woodsy Owl. He had a song.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, okay.

[David Spade]

Woodsy, spread the word. Never be a dirty bird in the city or in the land. On the land. Help keep America looking grand. Yeah, Woody was a bit of a star in the day.

[Dana Carvey]

That was cool. Smokey the Bear scared the out of me because I'm like four years old, I'm watching TV by myself. Suddenly this cartoon bear points at me and says, only you can prevent forest fires. I go, lena, Only me. I weigh 30 pounds. Am I gonna smother it out? You know, only you. Dana, why are you still sitting there? Only you. And David Spade. And that was weird that he mentioned your name even before I met you.

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

Uh huh.

[David Spade]

Wow.

[Dana Carvey]

Interesting. RK's uncanny resemblance to traditional liquors. It has made it wildly popular across the U.S. whether it's whiskey, gin, or vodka, RK makes it possible to enjoy all the flavor without the alcohol. They've also released 18 new flavors, David, including London gin, botanical gin, multiple rums, agave spirits. Yes, that whiskey, Tennessee whiskey on fire whiskey and eight Fire whiskey.

[David Spade]

I know.

[Dana Carvey]

And eight flavored vodkas.

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[Von Miller]

What's up world? Is Von Miller, super bowl mvp, chicken farmer and now host of Free Range. This is a show where I go off the field and off the script. We're talking what's hot in music, film, trending news and everything blowing up your feed. If you love football, you'll feel at home. But if you're here for the vibes, the Internet deep dives the conversation. This is your podcast. Podcast. Join me every Wednesday. Follow and listen to Free Range with me, Vaughn Miller everywhere. You get your podcast.

[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[David Spade]

Dana, this is a good transition because.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, let's transition.

[David Spade]

This is the one year of the forest fires in la. Where was Smokey?

[Dana Carvey]

Where were you?

[David Spade]

You could have fixed it. Now. Nothing to be joking about, but it is the year anniversary. It's all over the news. I remember we were starting Busboys applause Us boys.

[Dana Carvey]

2029 coming, coming toward you. Yeah. In 2030, after the next four avatars.

[David Spade]

You'Ll see a preview to Bus Boys.

[Dana Carvey]

And Chico, California Drive in a special screening. One screen only and one speaker that fits in your driver's side window.

[David Spade]

It's getting there.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. It's.

[David Spade]

It's. I'm working on the music. Theo's working on the special effects. We don't have that many. It's not.

[Dana Carvey]

I like it is There going to be a robot in it?

[David Spade]

I don't know. Like, no, I don't know what it is. We have rabbits and it's you and him.

[Dana Carvey]

It's, it's, it's. You bake the cake.

[David Spade]

It's light summer fare.

[Dana Carvey]

So good. We need.

[David Spade]

Aside from the heat around busboys, there was heat in la. And in a year later, there's so much chaos about it, literally nothing went right. I mean, they're still not building that many things. They. Oh, yeah, I wrote down something that happened.

[Dana Carvey]

Takes time. I don't know how they. It's just so sad.

[David Spade]

Oh, well. Well, the big trick was a hundred million dollars was raised in a fire benefit with huge acts. You know what I mean?

[Dana Carvey]

Rockstar. Yeah, yeah, I remember that benefit. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Made a lot going directly to the victims. So so far nothing has gone to the victims. So that was a big problem where.

[Dana Carvey]

Money is it with the Somalis in Minneapolis, it got funneled.

[David Spade]

They go, you're good with money? You guys can handle this hundred?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you're good. Yeah.

[David Spade]

You know what you're doing? Yeah, yeah. So that's frustrating for everyone, to say the least. And I don't Even know what NGOs do, but it went into little funds where they decided what to do with it. And sometimes that goes into some red tape and different things and salaries and it doesn't quite get to the people. So now they're going to build some of it for low income housing, which, I mean, kind of makes sense. It's not what everyone wanted that lived there, but I get why they do that stuff. And, but, but not doing permits, like they're not really helping people rebuild quickly.

[Dana Carvey]

It's very tricky. I don't know the minutia of it, but first of all, it's like all the wires and the gas lines and all that, and then it's just getting all the debris out while keeping that stuff intact and then actually breaking ground and starting to build. And then certain neighborhoods are completely decimated. So do you try to do it all at once? You're bringing in water. I know it's complicated and I don't know what. But where the 100 million is a good question, because why don't you help?

[David Spade]

You should know how to fix it.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, okay, so you clear the houses out, you get all the electrical and water. Really, really good. And then you, you bring in a lot of wood and a lot of carpenters and a lot of stuff. Well, you go and you design the, and then you build the homes.

[David Spade]

Right. Well, yeah, Labor Day, it's done.

[Dana Carvey]

That's, that's what I'm thinking.

[David Spade]

Altadena, Palisades, Malibu, you know, so I told you I used to have a house there. Fully toast. Fully just in crumbs, but yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, so that shouldn't joke about it.

[David Spade]

Because people, we're not, we're not trying to joke.

[Dana Carvey]

We're a comedy showing about the tragedy. We're just, we're kind of, we're frustrated like everyone else that there's not more progress being made.

[David Spade]

Well, because then, then here come. It's like the same broader problem with people paying taxes in California when they're building a hundred billion dollar train to Sacramento, San Francisco area said, I don't know if everyone's clamoring for it, when you could take 10 billion and probably fix a lot of problems in California. But, but they keep pushing this 10 year thing about the train. That's just one of the crazy things. The homeless, they lose 20 billion, but they want more money for it. That's why people get tired of paying taxes and going, what are you doing? Gavin Newsom just vetoed a bill asking for an audit of where the money for homeless goes. He said, not a chance. You're not going to see that.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I don't think anyone could disagree with this. There are states, I don't have them offhand, who basically, you go to their website and they tell you where all the money's going.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Line by line. Maybe it's thousands of pages a year, but you can see where it's going. So when there's. He's behind the curtain. Don't pay attention to Gavin Newsome. You know, it's a little bit frustrating.

[David Spade]

Because you go, you can't ask for more. I mean, if someone's, if you're, if you're in a household and someone's blowing all the money, you go, what are you spending it on? Don't worry about it. Just give us more money. You go, well, I'd like to see some, something. And if it's fixing homeless, great. But don't just take it and then be like, homeless has gotten worse.

[Dana Carvey]

You go, it's like, excuse me, Kevin, excuse me, could we ask where the 20 billion went? Or.

[David Spade]

That's a great question, but no.

[Dana Carvey]

Garth. I'm sorry, we're.

[David Spade]

That was Garth asking.

[Dana Carvey]

It was Garth. A little bit of Garth, but I told Wayne I'd ask. I just wondering if you know where the 20 billion went. We're looking into it, but right now we don't have any answers. But my main message to you is just ride around in your AMC Pacer and get some red rope liquor, because we ain't telling you diddly. Red rope.

[David Spade]

I. I could probably go through 20 billion on DraftKings during the playoffs because I'm so bad at betting.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I've heard. I've heard that about you. And I said, no, I'm not going to spread.

[David Spade]

When I tell people I won a hundred dollars and I brag, I don't mention I lost 900.

[Dana Carvey]

No one ever does that. They always talk about their wins.

[David Spade]

Here's what I want. And everyone goes, oh, man, you're living the high life. I know what I'm doing. I took the algo. Actually, if I was smart, I would bet and use chat GPT or use whatever just to say, what are the best odds of the best teams and players? And do it that way.

[Dana Carvey]

Someone bet a lot of money because you can bet on anything. And I don't know if it was a bitcoin site or something like that, but they made a bet where you could, you know, you're gambling that Trump that Madeira would no longer be in power by, like, January 31st or whatever the date was. And they made the bet, like, three hours before they started the mission.

[David Spade]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I know. Inside info. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

They said it was a guy. His last name was Hex this. But he didn't know what. I'm kidding.

[David Spade]

They have a predictive. This is the best invention, predictive gambling. So it's not gambling.

[Dana Carvey]

You're predicting the future, predicting events. Yeah.

[David Spade]

It's not like you think Avatar will make over a billion. And you say, okay, I'm betting $100. And they can do that legally. And you're not sports betting. It's some loophole. And those stocks are skyrocketing.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you can bet about anything. You could bet how long be in theaters.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Well, David, when is the next time David Spade will wear a blue sweatshirt on the podcast? You could bet that.

[David Spade]

When will Dana stopped talking about housemaid? What year?

[Dana Carvey]

I can switch to Marty Supreme Anytime you want.

[David Spade]

What decade will busboys come out in?

[Dana Carvey]

Was busboys ever actually real?

[David Spade]

Yes. Was bus boys. Will we find out Busboys was never shot.

[Dana Carvey]

It was just you and Theo in a room laughing your asses off. I think everyone's gonna think that we have made a movie. No, I could. Okay, I saw the Pit last night because it's all the rage.

[David Spade]

Oh, the Pit. This doctor show.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you know about It. It's actually really good. It's a. That's a bit gory, but it's actually.

[David Spade]

Oh, they do. They show like operations and legs and things and.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it's. It.

[David Spade]

Last night I was watching what's Up Doc? What's the one where it's a female Dr. O'.

[Dana Carvey]

Neill.

[David Spade]

No, it's called Doc. No, it's just called Doc. But it's exactly the pit. I mean, a doctor show. Grey's Anatomy, they all have a hook. I don't know what this one is. It might be she goes in the past and remembers Something from 10 years ago. But it's just the same thing. A guy has a problem. Oh, are they related? Let's get 10 cc's of Ringer's lactate. And so that's all it is, is a fast moving hospital and then the problems of the doctors. But what is the pit? Is that what that is?

[Dana Carvey]

The pit? It's just. At least the first episode just takes place in the most. A radically packed hospital emergency ward. So it's no. Move, move, move.

[David Spade]

Coming through.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, coming through. He's got a leg. And then they're like, get a C5 474 hematoma. Hematoma labosine. We need some lipocene rhino force and cc clear.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Patient is. But, you know, I mean, it's very detailed, but it moves really fast. And it's like er. Heather, the. The name of the lead. Sorry, no, no.

[David Spade]

Wiley, right, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Was it Wiley or Wild?

[David Spade]

Wiley, because he's from er. It's the same thing.

[Dana Carvey]

And he's great. They are. The acting's great and everything is great.

[David Spade]

ER again, everyone, it's ER again, but with.

[Dana Carvey]

With K, you know, live streaming kind of gore, you know, I mean, is.

[David Spade]

It all in one day?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I think so.

[David Spade]

I think.

[Dana Carvey]

But I don't know if the whole show is like that. Just the first episode. Yeah.

[David Spade]

I don't want to give this away about bus boys, but it's all in two hours. It's just a reality show. We just all. It's two hours in the day of a.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, as far as medical shows. And I don't know if this is true because this is very successful. I guess it's Hulu's gonna do one about an extremely handsome doctor called Brad Pitt, so.

[David Spade]

Oh, it's. There's the pit and there's Brad.

[Dana Carvey]

Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is just a show about a really handsome dog.

[David Spade]

It's a guy named Brad. Pittsburgh, by the way, is. Is the pit because of Pittsburgh.

[Dana Carvey]

No, they call it the Pit. And he gets in trouble. I don't know, because he just says it's the suckiest place on earth, I think, unless I miss. Well, maybe it is part of Pittsburgh. You're right, Nicole. Welcome. Welcome to the Pit. You know, so the first day they.

[David Spade]

Go, you're new here.

[Dana Carvey]

Welcome to Dog Town. Right. And the. They have these interns following around, and they have to see all this gore and blood and everything. And one of them passes out and.

[David Spade]

Stuff like, well, if you're. If here's Inside Hollywood, Stupid shit. If you're pitching a show to Netflix or one of the networks. Yeah. The showrunner is probably the most important. If you're gonna do a show like this, they will buy it off a showrunner. So if you're doing comedy and you go, tina Fey is gonna produce it and write it with me, blah, blah, they're looking at that more than the star. You would like a star attached or one or two. But they want a whole package. Because. Because I think anyone can walk in and say, what about a crazy hospital where it's very fast moving, but who takes care of the doctors and their problems? And then everyone goes, ah. And so that's a very general idea, but you get the guy that did er, you get this, and you get Noah Wylie, and you get some super smart people and a great director that knows how to shoot that shit because it's very hard. And the actors have to be. That dialogue is flying and you can't.

[Dana Carvey]

And they're. They're all good. So somewhere in. In the. That the chain of command, the producer, the director, the writers and the actors said, let's make a next level hospital emergency room show.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Where it's.

[David Spade]

What's the next version that people will be.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And it's very. It's very compelling, I have to say.

[David Spade]

You know, I bet ER would look slow right now because it was great at the time, but what's next? What are we doing? What's TikTok? Everything's got to go faster.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, everything. Everything's faster. They don't have commercials, you know, just.

[David Spade]

Bam, bam, bam, bam.

[Dana Carvey]

So with. With, you know.

[David Spade]

Thank you.

[Dana Carvey]

With er, it'd be like, damn it, we need some oxygen stat. And now a word from Kellogg's Cornflakes. You know, right in the middle, so.

[David Spade]

Well, you might not know this, Dana. You know, a lot about.

[Dana Carvey]

People don't remember commercials. Go ahead.

[David Spade]

But I did a spin off of Facts of Life, which is an old show.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, you.

[David Spade]

And I played A med student. Well, wait a minute, 25 grand. It was so juicy.

[Dana Carvey]

What was it called?

[David Spade]

It was a fact of life spin off pilot.

[Dana Carvey]

Was it called Fenster Hall?

[David Spade]

No, it's called the Little Pit. I worked at a hospital.

[Dana Carvey]

And.

[David Spade]

No, I worked at a hospital. And Richard Greek goes on. This is like I'm. I'm giving away my age.

[Dana Carvey]

He let's go back to 1959.

[David Spade]

It was Natalie from life. It was Mickey Rooney's a child. No, I'm not that old. It was Natalie from Facts Life, right. And she spun off where she moved to New York and then she has roommates and she lives with a bunch of people. I'm one of them. I'm a dog. I'm a med student, Greco.

[Dana Carvey]

And it was a great looking pilot.

[David Spade]

So I did the pilot and in the pilot I have to come home, I'm the goofball. But then at the end I'm on the balcony and like a little fan on me like this. She's like, what's wrong?

[Dana Carvey]

I'm like, I lost one today.

[David Spade]

And it's like the first patient I lost.

[Dana Carvey]

And it's really moving anywhere in nature.

[David Spade]

I'm sadly. I think so. And then we'll play it next week. And then I, I lost the patient and then I kind of lost the show for it. I think my acting really going on.

[Dana Carvey]

Nothing? No, no.

[David Spade]

And the was the good looking kid immediately when that didn't get picked up, got his own show called Booker and he went on for five seasons as a super stud.

[Dana Carvey]

It's always humiliating. You walk in, you're reading for something and then you see 10 guys that kind of look like you and you go, no one has a chin. They're pretty sure. They're kind of cute.

[David Spade]

What are all these other squids doing here?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, so this is how if you walk in, everyone's muscled up and like 6, 5, you kind of know you're in the right place.

[David Spade]

No, the worst times I've gone in for, for like the good looking guy, you know, Dana Mose. I go up for hunk parts.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I remember.

[David Spade]

So it goes, this local hunk surfer walks in and I'm. And I'm in the room with all these good looking guys going, I hope to God we're not all reading for the same thing. And then they're like, what are you reading for? He doesn't have like a dopey friend. And I go, no, I'm the guy, man. Surf's up. And they're like, yeesh. I go, How? We're reading all five scenes. They go, we're just going to read one line from one. That's all we need today. That is a trick. In an audition, there's five scenes. You memorize all night. It's impossible. You get in, you got them all ready. You read the first scene and they go, thank you. I go, well, there's four other ones. I'm really good in the fourth one. It's the best one.

[Dana Carvey]

Good.

[David Spade]

I think we have our answer.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I would. Eventually, I realized I had no power because I wasn't on tv, but they were sending me out to audition a lot. So then what I would do was I would never have a picture. So I'd be the guy with no 8 by 10, because that seemed kind of weak. Here's my photo. So I also would crumple the script up and put it in my back pocket. Even though I'd studied it and made my choices, I bring it out like, what is this again?

[David Spade]

Good.

[Dana Carvey]

Where again? Yeah, but you know, this. I read for Paul Newman, you know, and Joanne Woodward. I tested for Amadeus. I did a pilot with Seinfeld guy, Michael Richards, you know, you wanted to.

[David Spade]

Play Charlie Chaplin's friend.

[Dana Carvey]

I played. Yeah, I read for Chuck Chaplin, Part 2.

[David Spade]

You audition for that. That old movie where you hang on the clock. They had a fake clock there, and.

[Dana Carvey]

You'D be like Buster Keaton. Well, I did get Tough Guys with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas.

[David Spade]

I swear to you, and I'm not even lying, last night my buddy goes.

[Dana Carvey]

Let'S watch Tough Guys.

[David Spade]

No, he sent me a picture of Blue Thunder. And he goes, how did I not see this? And how did I not know Dana was in it? I go, I don't know. A lot of people know. This was it a year.

[Dana Carvey]

It was stupid. I just. I don't know what I was thinking, you know? Okay, I'll read for Blue Thunder.

[David Spade]

Of course. Take it.

[Dana Carvey]

So I read it and I got a little confused. I'm reading with James Ferrantino. I read it and I got confused and I ad libbed a little bit. Okay. So then I drove home to the Valley. I drove an hour away. There were no cell phones. I got home and they called me and said, they want you back.

[David Spade]

You know, you have to go back and read again.

[Dana Carvey]

You're in the finals. I had to drive back. So then I got the silly thing, and then I was just Quentin Wonderlove in a helicopter with a helmet. A fake helicopter.

[David Spade]

That was your stupid name.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And all my lines were Literally, like James Tarantino, go jam him, Joffo. Because my nickname was just another frustrated observer. Jaffo, jam him. And my line was, David, I you not. I don't think even Daniel Day Lewis could score this. I am jamming. I am jamming. Cut.

[David Spade]

That's good stuff, dude.

[Dana Carvey]

And then I got fired in front of.

[David Spade]

Damn it, Chaffo.

[Dana Carvey]

Damn it, Joffo, jam. I am jamming, Jim.

[David Spade]

But jam it up your ass, Jim.

[Dana Carvey]

James Ferrantino liked a cocktail, so he had Styrofoam cups this big. I thought they were water. So he gets out of the chopper. I goes, you know, he goes down the ladder.

[David Spade]

I go.

[Dana Carvey]

And it was straight vodka.

[David Spade]

I love it.

[Dana Carvey]

And then basically, the day I got fired, they said, dana, come down. The whole 100 people are there. I'm in the outfit, I got the helmet on, I take it off, I come down the fake helicopter, and they go, you're fired. So I had to walk in front of everyone. The walk of shame. And I went to. The wardrobe guy was super nice, and I. I was. I was a little. I wanted to be fired. I think that's why I got fired. But I said, I do comedy. I'm actually kind of funny. He goes. He goes, that's all right, son. Put his hand on my shoulder. That's okay. And then eight years later, right after I got off of snl, I was at an event and he was the. The wardrobe guy, and he goes, you were right.

[David Spade]

Oh, that's great that that came around.

[Dana Carvey]

Isn't that a cool story? That'll train.

[David Spade]

Yeah. What about James Fantino? Was he in my favorite show, Long street or not?

[Dana Carvey]

I don't.

[David Spade]

I was a little baby. He played, I think, a blind detective.

[Dana Carvey]

Did he.

[David Spade]

Why aren't they redoing that? He detective who doesn't know shit, and he's solving crime.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. In an all new sightless.

[David Spade]

No. Long street.

[Dana Carvey]

Long term blind.

[David Spade]

I remember in Variety they said, long street's a long shot to get picked up.

[Dana Carvey]

Was that a Western?

[David Spade]

No, he had a dog, and he was just so. It was around the era of night stalker Darren McGavin.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I love night soccer.

[David Spade]

I'm so old, I'm sad.

[Dana Carvey]

And I love Kojak. Yeah. Go Jack with the lollipop. You know?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Who loves you, kid? Who loves you, baby? Look, it was analog time. Every single millennial, Gen X. I don't even know all the flavors. They all worship the analog time. They watch reruns of Grey's Anatomy, like millions of them, because there's no live. You know, all that. So there's no.

[David Spade]

Let's get top stories. We would talk about the Golden Globes, but it just happened and we didn't see it.

[Dana Carvey]

It right. Well, I'll make a sure.

[David Spade]

Nikki Glazer did great.

[Dana Carvey]

Nikki Glazer did great. That's a good one. All right. What's this? Read it.

[David Spade]

This is Rutgers professor says whiteness is going to have an end date. We gotta take these out. I agree.

[Dana Carvey]

I agree.

[David Spade]

I mean, we've got three people right now that agree. Me, you, and her.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, I'm not literally. You know, when you think about, like, this is white. Am I white? No, I'm. I'm splotchy.

[David Spade]

No, they don't.

[Dana Carvey]

They don't mean us.

[David Spade]

So there's people out there that are annoying.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, we got to take these out. Well, it's colorful. It's very clear.

[David Spade]

It's clickbaity.

[Dana Carvey]

It's clickbaity. And Rutgers is a very reputable university.

[David Spade]

Listen, whitey's having a rough go of it lately, but let's keep going. Let's see, because we're taking a few shots.

[Dana Carvey]

You're the one.

[David Spade]

There's a woman that gave a speech, and she kind of came down, but I might agree with her too. Where's that video? Danny, you're really white. I'm like. I'm sort of blending. I'm like.

[Dana Carvey]

If you get up close, I'm blotchy.

[David Spade]

Okay. This is New York mayor, man who.

[Dana Carvey]

Works in Manani's administration.

[David Spade]

Tenant. Tenant director. I don't even know what that is. Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Housing, you know, rent.

[Commercial Announcer]

I think the reality is, is that for centuries, we've really treated property as an individualized good and not a collective good. And we are going to. And transitioning to treating it as a collective good and towards a model of shared equity will require that we think about it differently. Will mean that families, especially white families, but some POC families who are homeowners as well, are going to have a different relationship to property than the one that we had.

[David Spade]

A different relationship?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. I actually saw this, and my wife and I kind of went, yeah. So we're starting to foster a different relationship with our property. Ironically and bizarrely, I got a letter from the governor's office saying that Paul and I qualified to move into your house.

[David Spade]

My house?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it was just some. They put it in a computer, like how. 2000 or something.

[David Spade]

But that's a new relationship with my property.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I am. I'm going to. I'm rethinking my relationship with my property, you know?

[David Spade]

What does it mean, you think, though?

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. I mean, I saw Dr. Zhivago is this famous movie. Doesn't date famous doctor. But the Soviet Union is forming and they're taking over, and they just go into people's houses and go, get out. We're going to put nine families in here. So it sounds a little bit like communism, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm rethinking my entire relationship with. With property.

[David Spade]

I don't know how many bedrooms you have, but you might be able to only have one person moving with you.

[Dana Carvey]

You're looking at it.

[David Spade]

Superman.

[Dana Carvey]

Superman can sleep in here.

[David Spade]

He can stay. Now, I. That's New York, though.

[Dana Carvey]

I think that that's. That's New York. And they.

[David Spade]

It's all smushed in with all these places.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And trying to figure out ways to.

[Dana Carvey]

He won the election and he's a socialist Democrat, and so he's just doing that brand. Bernie, who I kind of admire, has been of that political stripe for his whole career. Don't proceed. Don't proceed. We don't have a. We have plenty of money, but it's not in the right hands. But I get it. You know, people like. We keep. We didn't have famous billionaires back in the day. We didn't have as many billionaires.

[David Spade]

We didn't have any.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

So I don't think anyone was a bill. When I grew up. My friend, this girl I liked, her dad was a millionaire. We thought at school we had proof. We went over to his house to see him. I honestly wanted to see what he looked like. And I swear to God, we went over there, and I'm like, It's like seeing an alien. I'm like, he looks like regular people. They're blending in.

[Dana Carvey]

He walks, he talks, he talks like.

[David Spade]

A normal thousandaire, but he's a millionaire. So I thought, do you have a million dollars? Like, what would you even. Where. Where is it? And I'm looking in rooms, inflation. Where's a pile of money? And then he goes, do you want to do some work on a house this summer on my roof? And I'm like, I can't ask for a million even, because I think that's all he has. But I know he's going to pay us a lot. That was not the case.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that's how he got to be a millionaire.

[David Spade]

He's like, Here's 20 bucks. I'm like, to get on this mother effing fucking roof in the summer in Arizona and do anything if you just climb up the ladder. Give me 20 bucks.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. No, in those days, I mean, my first job. Well, first I. When I was 18, I went to McDonald's and they said, you can sweep the parking lot. And the starting wage was a buck 35. And I said, if you give me a buck 40, I'm in right now.

[David Spade]

Right now.

[Dana Carvey]

And they said, I gotta talk to my boss. So I then eventually I got a job as a dishwasher at the Holiday inn. Guess what? 260 an hour.

[David Spade]

You got that much more. You doubled it.

[Dana Carvey]

260. But it was 260 dishes an hour. I, it was, I was drenched in sweat. I had a giant thing I'd run them through because it was holiday and breakfast just piles. I would eat. Everyone's eating plates. The boss guy who hired me came back every 20 minutes and say, are you going to finish your shift? Because the last 10 guys tapped out. Said, fuck this, man. Not for 260. I'm a drench of sweat. Cut my hand with my Hobart 3000 eating French toast. That's just off a thing.

[David Spade]

I ate everything off when I was a dishwasher. I ate everything that came through. And when I was a bus boy, I ate everything I took off the table. Not a question.

[Dana Carvey]

I was a busboy too. But we called ourselves table maintenance personnel managers. You know, gave us some, you know, a little bit.

[David Spade]

Yeah, a little more juice.

[Dana Carvey]

Gave it. Gave us a little juice. So we were both dishwashers, we were both bus boys. And we're both on Saturday Night Live.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it's funny. We have a lot going on.

[Dana Carvey]

It's funny.

[David Spade]

Funny little.

[Von Miller]

This is pro linebacker TJ Watt and I'm back with YPB by Abercrombie for another activewear drop. My second co design collection has new shorts and tanks that keep up with all my in season workouts. And their new Restore collection is a game changer off the field too, because even pro athletes like me need rest days. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores because your personal best is greater than anything.

[Spot Pet Insurance CEO]

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[Dana Carvey]

New year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps plus fries and a medium soft drink for just $8 for a limited time only.

[David Spade]

Prices and participation may vary.

[Dana Carvey]

Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery.

[David Spade]

Okay, so next one. Let's see what else we got. Yeah, we're doing so we're, we're doing so good.

[Dana Carvey]

We're so proud.

[David Spade]

This is just funny. Diddy and your Venezuela guy in jail and did. He's doing his hair in braids, which is hysterical. And they took my oil, too. He says, for the people.

[Dana Carvey]

So that's just a funny pun and it's a funny cartoon.

[David Spade]

I forgot. People don't. They only if they only listen. It's Diddy doing his hair and he said he took my oil, too.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you have to.

[David Spade]

I mean, simple, to the point. Funny.

[Dana Carvey]

Look, last week I was observing that, that Trump, you know, he was criticizing George Clooney in a kind of a Trump way. Like, he's never really been in a movie. He's quite frankly, not a movie star. He's won like two Oscars. And I thought, what's the ultimate? It's like if Hussein Bolt attacked Trump.

[David Spade]

Trump.

[Dana Carvey]

Trump would be like, he never ran very fast. He's not even very fast. So you look at him, he's quite frankly, he's very slow. You know, he's quite frankly, quite frankly, funniest thing.

[David Spade]

It buys him a little time when he's talking.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, he never runs out. He just goes.

[David Spade]

Goes unreal. What about he wants Greenland now?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, he wanted it. He made some inroads before. And then, then he went, he got Canada object. And now he's back. Now we have a treaty with Denmark, regards Greenland, signed in 1951, that allows us to build any kind of military base we want there. And Greenland's people today said, we'll do whatever you want, but could you ask nicely?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, Trump said, we're not going to take over. We're not going to blow anything up, but we could. We put some bases. We'll get the rare earth. The rare earth. And if you think about it, you look at rare earth. Rare earth, we're going to get rare earth. It's not easy to say. I don't think J.D. vance could say it. We're going to get the rare earth. We're going to give you 2% off the top. 2%. That's a lot for Denmark. It's a little tiny country, I'm telling you.

[David Spade]

He says Greenland only has about 148 people. He always lowballs. What. What's going on?

[Dana Carvey]

It's got like 45,000.

[David Spade]

Yeah, that's still low.

[Dana Carvey]

But I do think the traditional thing is you go in, you get the rare earth and you spread it nicely with. With the people.

[David Spade]

You cut them in, give them a little. Wet the beak a little bit.

[Dana Carvey]

But it is a little weird if like 400 years ago, some people from Denmark and a canoe went there. It's like a billion miles across. We claim this for Denmark for all time. We get this. We get. I mean, it says you gotta. You gotta go fast. We should have gone to, like, Russia.

[David Spade]

We put a flag on the moon. Do we own the moon? I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, do we own the moon? It's a good question.

[David Spade]

Said that. Then if we said it.

[Dana Carvey]

Can I ask you a question, please? So. Because my mind, it's. I have our time wrapping around this. So in 1969, with a slide rule and a tin can and a hope and a dream and Scotch tape, we put dudes on the moon. And now with all these advancements, 75 years later, NASA finally said we're going to put four astronauts in a thing and they're going to circle the moon and land again. Hey, it's 1968. We did that in 1968. I believe so.

[David Spade]

What? I know. They probably don't have the technology anymore. They lost it. I'm like.

[Dana Carvey]

Lost it. Where is it? At Arby's, in the parking lot?

[David Spade]

Yeah, they lost someone's pocket.

[Dana Carvey]

We had the. We had the orders. We can't. We just. They fell in a sewer pipe, by the way.

[David Spade]

We didn't have an iPhone that we didn't. We've done all this stuff. We can't figure out how to get back.

[Dana Carvey]

No, the computer, by the way. Yeah, it was like a. It's.

[David Spade]

And they had a hard line that there's no delay. Hey, how's it going on the moon? We're here, man. It's all good.

[Dana Carvey]

But. But honestly, for Must see TV with digital television, put some dudes on the moon and some women build a little hotel or something.

[David Spade]

Love Island.

[Dana Carvey]

Just call it Love Island Moon and make it the biggest show moon Love Island Moon. They don't have gravity. Everything stays up. The men who have a problem downstairs, they don't even know because the goes the gravity. And you look at it, you think about it, everybody's talking about it. Quite frankly, I think it's a great idea.

[David Spade]

I like, I like what he wants. Greenland. And he goes, he's like Michael Jackson when he used to walk on those places like Maxfield. And he's like one of those, one of those. Sir, that's not for sale. Okay, three of those. And I want that. All right, send them. And they're like, these aren't for sale. You're in a park.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. Well, just rich, just. Well, we just have our own spin on it. But it's, it's, it's not boring out there in Trumpland and we're making moves.

[David Spade]

You know, we make fun of everyone.

[Dana Carvey]

We take over if we don't like them. We come in, in the night and we have a little thing where we could turn out the lights in the city. And then they're all, they're, you know, the helicopters come in low and it's like a really, really good assault.

[David Spade]

By the way, our friend Marcelo Hernandez. I'm going to go, I think see his special tonight. He is in town and he said he wants to come on. We haven't had him on, shockingly so.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh yeah, he's great, man. I just love, he does, he's, he's.

[David Spade]

He'S good on that show.

[Dana Carvey]

He's a new Kevin right on the show. What was the one that we loved? Oh, he did a Sebastian.

[David Spade]

Sebastian.

[Dana Carvey]

Which really, really pops.

[David Spade]

Special is out, I think now. Yeah, that's good. All right, what other story? We'll do another one. Even though we're doing too much. We're doing so good.

[Dana Carvey]

Someone has a hard out. Here we go. A teenager is facing criminal charges after sticking googly eyes on an eighty thousand dollar sculpture.

[David Spade]

Who decided it?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, can't you take the googly eyes off? Why is, what is the. What's. Why they can't.

[David Spade]

Because it'll chip the paint.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, so the sculpture. So he. The sculpture.

[David Spade]

And by the way, let's back up and say I'm an artist. Let's make a royal blue pelican. No, Penguin with a gut. That's my next big project and I.

[Dana Carvey]

Don'T want to ruin.

[David Spade]

Yeah, bad posture. Penguin sad with distended belly. And then. But I don't want anyone messing it up. And then he puts it in the middle of a park. I always See stuff in parks. I'm like, we did not pay for that. I hope we did not pay for that. And then I don't like people ruining things, but this is not the worst.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, what are you going to do with the kid? Bring him to court. You know Bill, Bill Swinson, do you. How do you freely admit guilt to putting googly eyes on a distended belly Plastic penguin in Wilson park last Saturday?

[David Spade]

He pleads down to regular eyes.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I didn't even know they were googly eyes, man. I just found. I found them on a trash can. No, they're actually on the playground. And I found the good guys. And I said, maybe I'll attach it to that stupid penguin thing. Yeah, you're out of order.

[David Spade]

Yeah, that royal blue eyesore. But art is also. Is it worth 88? Who's deciding this dumb fee for this artwork? I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

I've changed my mind on modern art. When I was at the museum or whatever, you know, and there was. There was a painting that was 50ft wide and like 15ft tall. It took up the whole thing. Pitch white, but one red dot in the middle. Now give me a million dollars. Come on.

[David Spade]

I'll buy it. Right?

[Dana Carvey]

That's what you call fake. God. Okay. It's fake art.

[David Spade]

Well, every. When people say art is money laundering, it sort of makes sense because these rich guys go back and forth and say, I'll give you I bought a painting for 40 million. I'm going to sell it to you for 70 million. Yeah, you get for 100 million. And. And that's the one thing you can't really put a price on.

[Dana Carvey]

So no scarcity.

[David Spade]

Oh, that's not worth that. You know, because if I buy a car, I would love to write to the IRS and say, I spent 2 million on this 68 Nova. And if it's just a regular Nova, they go, no, it's worth 2,000.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, here's. If it's art, here's the deal. The. I remember Dennis telling me once, Craig 6 in the end of the day carvey, it's about planes and paintings. Now there's. There's trillions of dollars sloshing around in the global economy. All these newly minted millionaires and billionaires, they've got the multiple houses, they've got the multiple G5s, but there's only like maybe 10, 5 or 10 Basts that are still available. And they're rare. You know, there's a built in scarcity, and it's kind of some of the collecting. You've done it.

[David Spade]

It.

[Dana Carvey]

You tend to make money on these things. If you have the.

[David Spade]

If you can prove it's scarce and it's real. Yeah, even baseball cards, all that. I do like that stuff better because there is a finite number of them. But when you go to artwork and you feel like you're being clowned, like these people that just spray paint, they have a crowd around. They just throw paint on a wall or they're on a swing, and I'm like, is this really that hard?

[Dana Carvey]

Now you can use AI you can use projectors, you can tape, you can squeeze. You can do whatever. When I retire, which I won't till I'm 95, but when I do, I'm gonn do visual art.

[David Spade]

Yeah, because you're actually good at it.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I just like it. I don't know if I'm good at it, but I do like it. And that there are no rules. It's kind of like with music, you can pitch a voice. You could. The AI can do the music, it. The, the creativity. Like right now we should probably announce this. It's probably awkward to do it.

[David Spade]

Okay. This a good time? Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I'm a digital AI reproduction of Dana Carvey. I know I look like him, really cool looking and really funny and all that, but I' not him. And that's David's digital rep. So we've presented this.

[David Spade]

No, I'm still really chat gbt. I have chat thc and I ask it to do stuff and it goes, oh, my God, I just woke up. I can't do it.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, that's a pretty good.

[David Spade]

By the way, pull the blinds. Ask me again in one hour.

[Dana Carvey]

But at some point, that is possibly real. We know that people don't doing podcasting. Their ads are read by AI. That's. That's. That's happening right now. They can do your voice and do your cadence. We do all ours.

[David Spade]

Yeah, we do all ours. We grind.

[Dana Carvey]

Hello, I'm David Spade. And they go, no, chat gbt. No David Spade from, you know, Tommy boy.

[David Spade]

Who is that guy?

[Dana Carvey]

Hello, I'm David Spade. ChatGPT. That sound nothing like him. No, David Spade. You've seen him on Letterman. Okay, let me try my next voice.

[David Spade]

Rackham.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I'm David Spade.

[David Spade]

There you go.

[Dana Carvey]

That's more like now that's. That's Spade in a nutshell.

[David Spade]

All right, let's do one more great story.

[Dana Carvey]

One more great story.

[David Spade]

I know you've got a heart out.

[Dana Carvey]

I got a heart out. I'm not Gonna.

[David Spade]

No, actually, I'm doing Hotel Transylvania stuff.

[Dana Carvey]

You actually have a reason to go. You're going to another job.

[David Spade]

I have to go swing.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you're going to another.

[David Spade]

Let's see. I. I don't know what this one is.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's see.

[David Spade]

It says Ringo Star was at Manchester.

[Dana Carvey]

Airport and there was a UK tick tocker there called Ed was on live stream. All right, Ringo Star. Ringo Star just casually walked up into the live stream and started talking to him and he didn't even recognize who Ringo was. You what, mate? Take a look at this. Yeah, mate. Yeah, mate.

[David Spade]

Oh, you're not on the radio.

[Dana Carvey]

You're at brother.

[David Spade]

Where you from? I'm from Liverpool. Oh, really?

[Dana Carvey]

I've just come from Manchester.

[David Spade]

Ah, we must be brothers.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. Is it real? Because I do that.

[David Spade]

Who is that?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, from Liverpool.

[David Spade]

The boys and Love.

[Dana Carvey]

Peace and Love. The boys. There we go. Peace and love.

[David Spade]

Oh, you got the balloons. Look at how you did it, Dana. Look at that. No, I think that might be real because the guy just goes. He's too worried about his stream. And then when Ringo's standing there like an airport ready to fly or something.

[Dana Carvey]

Whatever he's doing the guys, the Ringo guy's covering the lower part of his face.

[David Spade]

But it is Ringo, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, it is Ringo.

[David Spade]

That's why it's interesting, because he goes up and then he goes, yeah, brothers.

[Dana Carvey]

Peace and love.

[David Spade]

By the way, you wouldn't give that fake of a laugh to a real beetle. He goes, we must be brothers. And he goes, I'd be like.

[Dana Carvey]

We can't be brothers, you know?

[David Spade]

Yeah, I'd pop a stitch on that one. And then, then he kind of drifts off and then he's reading the stream and he goes, beo Ringo. What do you. What are you saying? Because Ringo. What? And he's like, oh, that was Ringo. Now, is it a riveting story? No, that's not what we do here.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I read a thing the other day and it was. I think it was Sean Lennon being worried that the Beatles could be forgotten. Will the Beatles be forgotten? And it'll be a long time because Beethoven and, you know, Mozart haven't been forgotten.

[David Spade]

There's still tribute bands for Beethoven.

[Dana Carvey]

The Beatles are, are something that happened, that shouldn't have happened even to them. It's. It's too much variety, too much exploratory music. Too many barriers crash through. Too much influence on music. So, I'm sorry, I'm a Beatle fan and you know what's weird. You know, I'm the only one. There's only one. I'm the final one. Conan. A little bit. You.

[David Spade]

Well, the bit. Yeah. I am a big fan. Did Beethoven. Beethoven is so influential, they named a dog movie after him.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, and also his greatest composition is literally. He did it with one finger. He was having a soda pop on the other side.

[David Spade]

Sodi Pop.

[Dana Carvey]

Hey, Tobin, you got a new song. Yeah, I think that's genius.

[David Spade]

No, they never forget it.

[Dana Carvey]

That's it. And then Mozart. I read for Amadeus. I tested for Amadeus. I was very close to getting that part. The guy who played Mozart.

[David Spade]

Favorite movie.

[Dana Carvey]

Really?

[David Spade]

Huh. She told Dustin Hoffman you were in Tootsie, which is my third favorite movie or something.

[Dana Carvey]

Tootsie really holds up for the type of movie.

[David Spade]

So good.

[Dana Carvey]

Tootsie is great. Charles Durning.

[David Spade]

I. I love Tootsie. If I don't care where you're from, you'll laugh at Tootsie.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you'll love Dusty in that. Dusty was so good in that. Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. As Adam Sandler, as Benjamin and the Graduate.

[David Spade]

All right, let's wrap up. I think we did good. I was going to say I'm with Nikki this weekend in Vegas, if anybody's out there. And after that, it's Wisco, Pittsburgh, Nashville.

[Dana Carvey]

There's a lot of them this weekend at Caesar's palace in Vegas, which, by the way, I did a corporate dating there. It's an incredible theater. And it's a theater play.

[David Spade]

The Coliseum.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And the stage is slightly. Goes like that. But there. It's such a cliche, but there's no bad seat in the house. The way they built it, everyone feels like they're right on top you. So it's great for the audience and great for you.

[David Spade]

And we did promos in there, and I was like, oh, this is it. This is so cool. Cool. But I think I. I went to see someone there and I was like, this place is going off.

[Dana Carvey]

It's. It's cool. It's a. It's a very. It's probably the coolest venue. It's big, but it's not too big, you know, that's what she said.

[David Spade]

So next time I will tell you how it went. We'll talk about it.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, excellent.

[David Spade]

All right, well, okay. Have a good day. Happy anniversary. And, yeah, we'll see you next time.

[Dana Carvey]

We'll have a full report next time we talk. Goodbye, everybody.

[David Spade]

Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, Give us review 5 star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

[Dana Carvey]

If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

[David Spade]

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

[Dana Carvey]

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by.

[David Spade]

Phil Sweet Tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

[Dana Carvey]

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney and Lauren Vieira.

[David Spade]

Reach out with us Any questions be asked and answered on the show? You can email [e-mail] that's a U-A C-Y dot com.