Have Roasts Gone Too Far?

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode Title: Have Roasts Gone Too Far?
Release Date: May 18, 2026
Hosts: Dana Carvey & David Spade
Summary by [Your Assistant]

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Overview

In this Monday riff episode, Dana Carvey and David Spade dive into the evolving culture of comedy roasts, examining where the line is between playful jabbing and mean-spirited attacks. Along with their trademark banter, they discuss pop culture tidbits, critique recent television and film, riff on audience questions, and improvise celebrity impressions. The episode is irreverent, fast-paced, and peppered with the duo’s signature blend of nostalgia, self-deprecation, and showbiz insight.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pop Culture Riffing: “Euphoria,” “Housemaid” Films, and Sydney Sweeney

• David and Dana banter about recent shows and movies, particularly HBO’s “Euphoria” and the success of “sexy thrillers” like "Housemaid" (confusion over its actual title ensues).
  • Sydney Sweeney: “She’s so brilliant.” (03:44, Spade)
  • Discussion about the third act twist in “Housemaid” and the confusion/variety of film titles.
  • Classic self-effacing humor: Dana suggests searching “big boob girls that clean stairs” to find the movie (05:09).

2. Nudity, Regrets, and On-screen Vulnerability

• The hosts reflect on decisions actors make when young, particularly about nudity and roles.
  • “I should have been really naked in a lot of movies in my 20s because I was just ripped for sure, and I regret it.” (09:13, Spade)
  • Humorous anecdotes about push-up and pull-up challenges from their youth (10:05-11:33).

3. Improv Bits, Sound Effects & Celebrity Impressions

• Recurring sound effects and playful improv: pig noises, magician gags, and playful ribbing about tech gadgets.
• Dana’s pig impression: “That’s all I got. It’s more like a warthog or something.” (03:12, Carvey)
• Listener favorite: Random animal impressions and soundboards pepper the whole episode.

4. Comedy Roasts: From Dean Martin to Chevy Chase and Beyond (Main Segment)

• Deep dive into the evolution of comedy roasts:
  • Nostalgia for the “good times” of Dean Martin roasts—friendly, affectionate jabs among friends.
  • Juice hits the conversation: “At one point, roast jumped the shark and went downtown into what is the foulest…” (30:58, Carvey)
  • Harshness in modern roasts (reference to Chevy Chase’s painful roast)—mean jokes replacing camaraderie.
    • “It was like an execution or something. This is not friendly funny…” (31:12, Spade)
    • “They just hired assassins when it’s not a friend.” (31:25, Carvey)
  • The guys discuss how today's roasts can be damaging when the participants aren't fully in the loop or prepared.
  • Ann Coulter’s disastrous experience at a roast is used as an example: “I don’t think she knew what she was getting into…” (34:23, Carvey).
  • Strategy for being roasted: Both joke about comically overreacting—crying, storming out, playing sound effects, or ejecting themselves from the stage (32:16-33:22).
  • On the personal toll of roasts: “Some of those stay with you when you hear an angle of something… you weren’t even aware of that.” (34:58, Carvey)
  • “They’re holding up a mirror… you don’t know what your contemporaries really think about you…” (35:13, Spade)

5. Improv Segment: “Buzzin’ Around” (41:00)

• Impromptu sketch: King Charles, a doctor’s receptionist, and Mike Tyson are stranded on a raft.
  • Highlights Carvey's and Spade’s quick-thinking and impression work.
  • Repeated refrain (Tyson): “What are you going to do about it?” becomes a running gag (42:29, Spade).

6. Current Events: Politics, Crime, & AI

• Spencer Pratt’s LA mayoral run—commentary on celebrities in politics and LA’s housing/wealth divide (22:03-25:47).
• Chinese infiltration in US politics (Arcadia mayor indicted): “Communism from China is the best—gave it away.” (50:05, Spade/Carvey)
• Brief, bleak jokes about government raids and conspiracy theories, including Tulsi Gabbard and UFO-related “science deaths” (54:35-55:47).

7. Sports & Viral Clips

• Analysis of a viral bullfighting/gymnastics video—banter about whether it’s real or AI-generated (47:14-48:46).
• General riffing on how AI will affect evidence in courts, sports, and comedy: “I got two little letters for you… Ain’t a frickin’ thing you can do about it. One is A and one is I.” (48:39, Spade)
• Animal mishaps: Aquarium story where a beluga whale sprays a guy for throwing in a cigarette (53:32-54:18).

8. Other Memorable Bits

• Dana’s “Sound Effecty” stand-up character: “So I’m walking across wet grass, I open my car door—it’s the same sound.” (56:07, Carvey)
• Hilarious nostalgia for failed Ratatouille auditions: “I said a French rat, not going to happen. Finally, Pixar makes a bomb.” (55:34, Spade)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On roasts turning mean:
  “It was like an execution or something. This is not friendly funny…” (31:12, Spade)

• Roast vulnerability:
  “They’re holding up a mirror… you don’t know what your contemporaries really think about you…” (35:13, Spade)

• Roast strategy, joking:
  “I will just cry the entire time… I’ll roll in a ball and just cry.” (32:15, Spade)

• Roasts when the guest isn't "in the club":
  “They just hired assassins when it’s not a friend... you got him.” (31:25, Carvey)

• Comedy about AI skepticism:
  “I got two little letters for you… A and I.” (48:39, Spade)

• Classic animal humor:
  “That’s all I got. It’s more like a warthog or something.” (03:12, Carvey)

• Self-deprecation, youthful regrets:
  “I should have been really naked in a lot of movies in my 20s because I was just ripped for sure, and I regret it.” (09:13, Spade)

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Highlights By Timestamps

• 03:29 – 07:37: Struggles over movie titles and Sydney Sweeney’s performances
• 10:05 – 11:33: “Gym class glory” – push-ups, chin-ups, and funny fitness fail stories
• 16:01 – 17:00: Spade’s Piers Morgan impression sparring with Carvey on Euphoria/X-rated jokes
• 30:09 – 35:40: Deep dive on the culture and evolution of roasts, personal stories
• 41:00 – 44:40: “Buzzin’ Around” raft improv—King Charles, receptionist, and Mike Tyson
• 47:14 – 48:46: Bullfighting video—AI skepticism and meme potential
• 55:34 – 56:41: Ratatouille audition/backstage stories, “Sound Effecty”

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Tone and Style

Classic Carvey-Spade: irreverent, tangential, quick-witted, and full of inside showbiz lore. Jokes riff on the news, pop culture, and their own neuroses, but are sometimes sharply satirical or self-deprecating. The episode's central concern—roasts, meanness, and the boundaries of humor—gives structure to their otherwise breezy banter.

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Listener Takeaways

• Modern comedy roasts have shifted from friendly ribbing to sometimes cruel territory, especially when participants aren’t part of the “comedy club.”
• Pop culture and celebrity politics serve as rich fodder for comedy and critique.
• The line between good-natured fun and emotional pain in public comedy is thin, and more pronounced in today’s social media era.
• Dana and David see value in both the clever joke and the sound effect; neither is above a self-own, and both are united by love for classic comedy and sharp-witted improv.

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Final Thought

If you’ve ever wondered how comedians really feel about being roasted—or just want to laugh at impressions, animal noises, and tales from showbiz’s backrooms—this episode is an entertaining, unfiltered look behind the curtain, with plenty of laughs and a surprising degree of honesty.

Transcript

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[B]

Don't be jealous of my massage ball. See this? David has a sore neck or back. Look. Now watch. It's like magic. Watch. Just watch.

[A]

Watch.

[B]

Watch what I'm doing. I put it there and I lean back.

[A]

That's up your butt. That's where mine is. I lost It.

[B]

I'm only laughing because. How did you know that?

[A]

It's a magician. You go like this here. Which reminds me.

[B]

See it? See it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where is it?

[A]

Okay. I like how we do all this tech stuff while we're on. Listen. Is that a piggy?

[B]

Yeah, it is a little piggy.

[A]

That's what you do when we. We're trying to get extra jokes out of a bit. Get a little oinky.

[B]

Do your pig. You have a pig? That's all I got. It's more like a warthog or something.

[A]

That sounds hard. That sounds hard to get my nose involved.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, I was saying, are we all set?

[A]

Yeah, we're already going. The whoops. The thing about that magic ball, that reminded me of Euphoria. Do you know what Euphoria is? That show?

[B]

Yeah, of course. Sydney Sweeney in the Hunt.

[A]

What's that mean for an Oscar in the Hunt?

[B]

I mean, you know, she's so brilliant.

[A]

I mean, my God, watching that filth.

[B]

No, I don't see that. You know me, I'm a housekeeper guy. I. I watch that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Housekeeper, right.

[B]

I. Because when you love a movie and you're seeing all the performances and all the machinations. I saw it for a third time. Sorry. On the airplane.

[A]

Horn dog. They're both gorgeous. That's a good, weird movie. I like it. We.

[B]

Yeah, we talked all about it, but I. I think it's no surprise. It's like 3 or 400 million globally. It's not even a cartoon. It's just a cool way. They call them sexy thrillers, Fatal Attraction and so forth. But this one has that third act where you kind of go, whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

[A]

Yeah. What is happening? Okay, I've got a quiz for you.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Let me answer till the end.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is it called the Maid, the Housekeeper, the Housekeeping or the Housemaid or the Maid Keeper? It's something like one of. I don't even know which one's right.

[B]

Well, off top of my head, I think it's called, hey, keeping your house, but housekeeper. I think it's just housekeeper.

[A]

Is it called housekeeper?

[B]

When I look on Box Office Mojo and you click on it, I'll just see.

[A]

Oh, is it called that? Because I thought it was called the Housemaid or something. Where I go, I don't think this is a word everyone uses, even. It's a compound word, right?

[B]

I mean, they went through so many titles. You know, we interviewed Paul Fig, the director.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

One was, yo, you keeping that house. Remember that one I thought this one

[A]

was the clean it up person.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Be vacuuming. Remember that one?

[A]

That one that was. That was in and out. They barely even considered that in and

[B]

out was there for a minute, too. It's a huge list.

[A]

Oh, it's the housemaid, Right? I never would have guessed that.

[B]

Oh, really? All this time, even when I got on the airplane, I put in housekeeper.

[A]

No, it said you. I put in big boob girls that clean the stairs. And it was like, oh, that movie. Is that what you want? And then it put in some alts. I was like, no, not those.

[B]

What is that? I'm sorry. I'm from another time and space.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what's the actress's name? The place?

[A]

Siegfried. Without Roy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, Siegfried.

[A]

And her last name is hard. And we're not getting it right, but

[B]

I'll get me some Sigfried and fries on the side. She is so amazing in this movie.

[A]

She's great. And then they're both stunning. And then they're both good, which is a good combo. And who's the other guy? Chris Hemsworth. Is that who it is? The main.

[B]

No, the main crazy stud husband. Heather, we got to give him some sugar.

[A]

I think it's Chris Hemsworth.

[B]

No, no, it's not Chris Hemsworth. No. Heather. Sorry, hold on. Heather.

[A]

Sleep at the wheel. I went off the page. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

Until then, I'll tell you, she's on Brandon

[B]

Brendan's Glenarch.

[A]

Real household name. You know, they used to say, don't change your name for Hollywood. I think we bring that back.

[B]

I literally hyped it up. I would reverse it. Glenn Nar Brendan. I think that's a better thing sometimes. Just a reverser. Like if he was Spade David, I

[A]

know he'd be huge. Spade isn't bad. But if I was him, I honestly would go by Brandon Brendan, and that would be cool. People like, are you Brandon Brandon? He's like, you mixed it up.

[B]

I just want to say he's Oscar worthy, too. All three of them should have got nominated. The Academy man, the bigger star guy,

[A]

the Mexican guy was playing the gardener. He's actually a pretty big star.

[B]

He's great, too. No, it's just all he's doing is

[A]

in the window like this, and you go, he's coming into this at some point.

[B]

Yeah, he was great casting for the staring, creepy gardener who hasn't had. You know, you're just in the kitchen, have breakfast, and the gardener's right up against the window with his. Like this, just staring at you.

[A]

Even housekeeping. I seem like it's. They're staring at me.

[B]

Well, some housekeepers have. Don't really see dirt. You know, if you don't have really good glasses.

[A]

You know, when I. Oh, forget. I will tell you that in Sydney Sweeney and Euphoria, I was thinking of the. Oh, she plays a piggy in Euphoria. Does she made me think of it.

[B]

Was it sexual role play? Okay, give me the. But give me the one liner. What is Euphoria for her?

[A]

Okay, here's the 2000 liner. What sendaya. Which I say her name wrong.

[B]

She's cool.

[A]

Great actress.

[B]

She is.

[A]

It's really these two stories this season. It's involved in a drug ring and Sydney Sweeney needs money with her new marriage. So she's doing Only fans. So. Only fans. Oh, very trendy, hip thing to talk about. But she obviously doesn't mind a little bit of nudity, so it makes it more realistic because a lot of actresses would play that, but not well, really.

[B]

Let me ask you if you have any regrets, like when you were like someone in their 20s. Like, if I was, I should have had my. I should have been really naked in a lot of movies in my 20s because I. I was just ripped for sure, and I regret it.

[A]

Did Police Academy for. They go, can you skateboard? I said, yes. And I said. They said, any questions? And I go, I'm willing to go full frontal. They said, okay, well, it's PG13, but, well, it's under consideration.

[B]

DVD extras, you know, that's what I said.

[A]

I said, I'm just throwing it out there. It could be for DVD extras. It could be for during the credits

[B]

and the peak of your physical prime. How many push ups could you do?

[A]

Probably barely a thousand.

[B]

You know, I did seven. Thirteen pull ups. That's adorable. Now let me ask you a question.

[A]

It's actually hard, folks at home.

[B]

Well, let me ask you a question. Did they allow you to do this motion where you go up like that or you're just going straight up?

[A]

It was. I don't think they were these, which are.

[B]

That's. That's called chin ups. Oh.

[A]

Oh, there's a different name. These are easier because you're using full bicep.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

These. I get my brain. Broad shoulders involved.

[B]

But you go, did you go straight up and down. This is high school, right?

[A]

Okay, I. They let me step on a box to do it, so. Took some of the weight off.

[B]

Well, then it did. Dana's perplexed.

[A]

No, but when I go to the Gym. There's something called the Gravitron. God dang it, I wish I had one. Well, Gravitron is something where you go. You step on a platform and you put the pin in and say, it's not percentages. But you say I counterweight, basically. Counterweight?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I put my body weight at about 13 pounds, and then I go.

[B]

And you're still.

[A]

And it's easier. Yeah, but I can do about five of those. Then I put it to four pounds.

[B]

Right, because say you weigh 150. Let's just do a little quick arithmetic for you. Yeah, you weigh 150, and you go down the thing and put it in a hundred pounds counterweight. How much actual weight are you pulling up?

[A]

50. What's that one?

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

Someone's being stabbed. Don't make me bring mine out. But on Euphoria, long story long.

[B]

Okay, let's go back.

[A]

Sydney Sweeney says this little piggy, she knows Geyser in defeat. So she's, you know, pain. Then she puts her toes in her mouth and, like, everyone's like this. Then she does something, which I didn't even know, even though I'm a creep, I didn't know that a lot of guys, like, oh, I. There's something. It's called something where she's bigger than life. So she does something in a set that looks like she's huge and goes up to a guide and pushes her boobs against the glass naked. And like. Like the attack of the 50 foot woman, that old movie that you remember when you were about 30.

[B]

No, it's not rude. I love. I love my age. Look it up. No, I saw that in the 60s probably. Wasn't it a 50s movie?

[A]

It wasn't Raquel Welch, was it?

[B]

No. She was in 1 million. 1 million BC. 1 million BC ever seen it? She's in a. Yeah.

[A]

Owners per capita.

[B]

Good one. That was quick. I want to give you some love on that one.

[A]

Thank you. That's a horse. Is this live?

[B]

That's a. That's a rooster, brother. Here's what I really thought of your presentation today.

[A]

You're just gambling with these. You just push a different button.

[B]

It costs like A$50. It works.

[A]

You're from Montana, where men are men and sheep are nervous.

[B]

I'm from Montana, where men are men. And then there's David Spade.

[A]

And then you got a little pip, squeak. Wait. Euphoria.

[B]

Euphoria.

[A]

Am I still talking about Euphoria? I want to play a bad guy. Like a drug dealer. Like a Real, real prick on Euphoria. Just no jokes, just being an. I think it'll be good.

[B]

Let's, let's put, let's put that in the ether that you need that sort of cast.

[A]

I like that. We'll do that after grownups. And also Zendaya, she has to do. She has to mule coke over the border so they put it in balloons, you know, I mean like this. And I'm like, this is going to be good acting where she dips them in western oil and sticks them up her boo hole. Right? Because I think that's how you do it. That's how I do it. So instead she dips them in some sort of oil and then she swallows them and pushes them down it's arm like rough. It does look like she's doing it. She's not doing it. Dana, you don't understand.

[B]

You think this appropriate for children to have a woman?

[A]

Oh no. Piers Morgan is.

[B]

Piers Morgan's back.

[A]

Where is he? Grab it, grab it. Where's the stick? I like Piers Morgan. This is going to be funny. He always jumps in and says something stupid.

[B]

I didn't do a thing wrong. This is Dr. Tony Fauci. And from the bottom of my all new leather, Fauci's go.

[A]

I like. Did you see the video of the cruise ship where you see someone coming out of the room like this and it's Fauci.

[B]

Oh really?

[A]

And he goes, oh, I'm not supposed to be here. Yeah, because I'm just supposed to start this disease and leave on a little raft.

[B]

Hey man, I just make fun of everybody. Get over it, people. But here we are. So David Spade, you're talking about the TV show Euphoria for like 20 minutes at a 40 minute podcast. Must be very important to you to see a woman act like a piggy and suck her own thumb, her own feet. Is that we find funny? You think people enjoy that? Is that your goal in life is to do gross wiener jokes and butthole references?

[A]

I mean, sort of. But I feel like Euphoria is really, they always say pushing the limits, but it doesn't mean it's in a great way. Like I don't mind that storyline. I don't think it's that sexy. It's just sort of interesting that she's trying to make money and she's on a stream and so they tapping into what's going on lately. But I think the other story is a little better about Zendaya's getting involved in this drug ring because she's in way over her head.

[B]

Is that what you find amusing?

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

Something Euphoria woman.

[A]

You went right back to that. Pierce.

[B]

Is that it's.

[A]

It's not amusing. It's more supposed to be sexual.

[B]

Do you ever do jokes that don't have sort of an X rated sort of sensibility to them? Can you do just like, you know, the duck cross the road type jokes?

[A]

No, I don't really. This is a real gotcha moment for me. I guess. They're all dirty. Piers, did you see the roast?

[B]

Yes, I watched it and then I had to turn it off. I just got a stomachache, got nauseous.

[A]

That's a lot of X rated. Really?

[B]

Is this why is it funny to have grown men and women try to bring each other down in such an X rated fashion? Is that what the Americans like now? Is that what you're all about?

[A]

That's a good question.

[B]

I said, is that what the matter?

[A]

Oh, my God. I was thinking.

[B]

You like to think, don't you, Pierce?

[A]

Did you think it was too racial or do you think it was too mean? Maybe.

[B]

Well, I don't find it funny when people are truly sad and embarrassed at the hands of a lethal comedian with five or six writers writing inappropriate stuff that goes right to the core of a human being. I'd rather watch I Dream of Genie reruns because you know that show. Yes, that's right.

[A]

Yeah, I know it. You're like major Healy going, hey, Genie, why don't you make your tongue six feet long and lick my nuts from the kitchen?

[B]

I can't, Dana.

[A]

That was a Dice Clay joke. I thought it was so.

[B]

Oh, dice, the greatest. I love dice. You ever see I Dream of J?

[A]

And a lot of people in the audience are like, not really. We're younger. And he goes, major Healy. He's always like, oh, Genie. She's like, can I do anything? He's like, oh, no, you could make my bed and maybe a lemonade. What are you, an idiot? Genie says, can I do anything? You know what, Genie?

[B]

You can. How about you make your tongue eight

[A]

feet long and lick my balls from the kitchen?

[B]

On tour now with John Lovitz, by the way. Run and get your tickets.

[A]

I'm gonna see him and I'm gonna tell him do that joke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So funny. I know. Oh, yeah, he's out with love. It's a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This was at the Chris Rock, which we should say in our sister podcast, right?

[B]

Our other podcast, Chris Rock, we filmed

[A]

live at the Orpheum, maybe.

[B]

And it's out right now.

[A]

Right? Out right now. Lovett's came to watch. We had a big crowd, it was a lot of fun, and Chris Rock was high sterical as usual.

[B]

Hey, John, I like your jacket. Jealous? No, not really. Not jealous. John was full farm.

[A]

Do you know all he likes blue, which I do, too. And all his cars are blue.

[B]

And most of them have a flat tire or least. And his balls, they sit in the front. I'm kidding.

[A]

So lately I've been trying to be more intentional with my wardrobe, if you know what that means.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

Yeah. Choosing pieces that are comfortable enough for everyday life but still feel put together with not a lot of effort. You know, it's made getting dressed way easier, especially in the mornings when I don't want to think. Quince has been really my go to for that balance. Their spring staples are exactly what I've been reaching for, like 100% European linen shorts, very light, and shirts starting around 34 bucks. That's not a lot. They're lightweight, breathable, still look clean and elevated. They're 100% Pima cotton tees are unbelievably soft, the kind you immediately notice the first time you wear them. And the pants that have that same easy feel, but you still look polished enough to do pretty much anything, right?

[B]

Yeah. You know, what stands out to me the most is the value. Everything is typically 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they cut out middlemen and work directly with ethical factories. You know, I recently wore one of their linen shirts on a weekend outing. Looked pretty good. And I kept thinking about how it looks way more expensive than it is. Yeah. Refresh your every day with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.comFly for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E.comFly for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Quince.comFly hi, everybody. I'm Maury Povich. On my podcast On Par With Maury Povich, I'm going to sit down with the icons, the stars and and the faces at the very center of today's big cultural moments with everyone from comedians Josh Johnson, Dan Soder, Leanne Morgan, to newsmakers Don Lemon, Joy Reid, Aaron Parnas, and so many more. So join me for new episodes every week because nothing is off limits. Great conversations. They're always on par. Follow and listen to On Par With Maury Povich. Wherever you get your podcasts, you know that Thing where you get an amazing

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pair of shoes at a really great

[B]

price and want to tell everyone about it. Yeah.

[A]

So do we here at Designer Shoe Warehouse.

[B]

We'll give you something to brag about, like the latest styles from brands you

[A]

love or the trends everyone's obsessing over or shoes that make you feel like.

[B]

Well, you. So go ahead, show off a little.

[A]

Buying shoes that get you at prices that get your budget. Head to your DSW store or dsw.com today. DSW. Let us surprise you. Oh, I saw this. Spencer Pratt. They. They're giving him. Now that we're talking about the election downtown. Spencer Trap from reality show. It falls into showbiz.

[B]

But he's from the Hill.

[A]

He's from the Hills. But, you know, 20 years ago, like a lot of people. 20 years ago.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So. Yeah. But he is trying. I don't know if he's gonna win. I don't know if he's that good. I don't know. I just know it's very interesting to see, like, a guy out of the blue come in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And shake it up. Because la, There is some fixes we could do. There's definitely some fixes. It's not. It's not perfect. Never will be perfect. But they were busting his balls. Sorry. Was Lauren in there?

[B]

Yeah. There's no such thing as Utopia.

[A]

Oh, that's a good. That's a good thing for Lauren to add. I like that. He's just waiting for something else to say. Looks like a duck.

[B]

It's okay to have a lull in a podcast when there's3.3 million that they could click to.

[A]

Yeah. You know what? You don't need to talk over each other. Give it some air. Give it some space. So he lives in an Airstream, which, funnily enough, when I used to roll with Sean Penn, he had one in Malibu. Yeah, he had one because when he lived with Madonna, which some people are too young to remember that their house burned down. It was like an acre in Malibu on a mountain. And one time we went out there and I was like, I thought our house burned down. I think I saw on tv. He goes, no, I still love that. So he had an Airstream and he just drove out in the middle of this burnt acre.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Parked in front of an Airstream. So I want some flapjacks. So that's what Spencer has. And he did an ad where he goes, yeah. Sean was like, you know what he did? He played a cassette of jewelry because Jewel was dating her. Directing her video Okay. I think dating her and wanted me to hear. Anyway, that was. That's. That gives you the timeline. So here's Spencer Pratt. It just reminded me of that Airstream. Right? And he said, here's where I live. Here's where Karen Bass and all the other people live.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Mansions. You know, they say mansions for like $3 million. Meanwhile, those aren't four.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Mansions we picture.

[B]

What does. When does a big ass house become a mansion? Five seconds.

[A]

I think it. It's not what you think. As a kid with like 20 rooms and like that. It's.

[B]

I said, however.

[A]

Oh, I think 20 rooms.

[B]

Wrong. I hate that.

[A]

I like the piggy.

[B]

Well, I don't know. Why pick the piggy? It seems to have an overarching meaning about a lot of things. Here's what I saw. And I don't know if anything's true. All blah, blah, blah is when the fire happened. House burnt down. I'm sure he had an Airstream and he came out of it. But then I guess, unless it's bogus, he now lives at the Bellair Hotel and his family lives in someplace else.

[A]

Right? That's what. That's what they. I was getting at is the ad shows he's like standing from the Airstream, which I'm sure he is real because he put that on there after it burned down because they don't know where to go. But TMZ asked him, popped him on it, and he said, oh, well, I don't really live anywhere, so I can say I live there because that's what I own. I stay at the Bel Air Hotel for last month because of. Because of death threats, which is possible. If he just sits there, people can just drive up right up to him and beat him up. Or.

[B]

Well, once he got now new kind of fame in the political arena.

[A]

Political is very scary.

[B]

You got to be able to wear a large jacket under your T shirt.

[A]

And he has security now. And I saw a picture that. And then his. Maybe his kids are up in Santa Bar. Fine.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's a half a gotcha. But I have to say, when you're starting to do well, there's someone else here running. And you know how it is when people start to do well, one side or the other is going to go, we'll take care of that. And then they dig a little harder and try to make sure no one gets too ahead of the race. And so both sides are really. It's a bloodbath here. And also for governor, you know.

[B]

Yeah. Politics is a Brutal thing to go into. I, I really kind of amazed how thick skinned people get with the constant, you know, like Bill O'Reilly said about Trump, he can take more punishment than anybody else. Just, just as far as, just the onslaught of hate.

[A]

I couldn't take it.

[B]

I can't, I can't even read the comments saying your hair wasn't good today. I roll up on a scarf.

[A]

I can't say the comments I'm about to get here and most of them

[B]

are not from me.

[A]

I will say not to defend Trump. So when he was building, of course everything I say is probably not true. But when he was building that addition to the White House, he says, okay, the ballroom, I'm building it with. Everyone's mad, but I'm paying for it. When Obama did it and it was tax.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And me and my friends and donors. Great. Yeah. So you can't get mad. But lately I think it's move to tax dollars. So I think that's a trick because they're giving Gavin Newsom because the state capital is being built for a billion. It seems high. Both of them, when you get to a billion seem high for a big house. A big. Whatever it is, state capitol or the White House. It's all. But I think it must be a security thing with bunkers and that's got to be it because I don't understand. So I do think Trump shouldn't have said that. That addendum of like, oh, now it's gonna be taxpayers.

[B]

I had not heard that Governor Jerry Brown just lived in, in like or something. I don't think he lived in where the, the mansion. Yeah, he lived in like a little house. That guy was.

[A]

Leave that to Gigi Paint.

[B]

He was the real deal. Okay. You know, now he lives up in northern Nevada in some kind of track of land.

[A]

And we'll take that little bottom triangle. Nevada.

[B]

He made a hut out of hickory and that's his main abode. All right.

[A]

Just give me whatever little rocket man lives in. Just a little shack, little stabbing cabin.

[B]

Get up there near Wendover. You know, you can go drop a couple silver dollars if you're. Wendover is the place. I almost got killed in the private jet in Nevada. Yeah. There's a big. There's a casino. You can fly into Salt Lake City and drive an hour and a half. And there's. There's a casino in Nevad, way, way up north.

[A]

Sure, I played it.

[B]

It's a toddle in town. You probably have.

[A]

You'd remember it. I'M going to Yuma, Arizona. Beep, beep. Hi, I'm from Arizona.

[B]

God. Scraping the bottom of the.

[A]

I think you're going with me. Are we doing Yuma?

[B]

Are we doing Yuma?

[A]

What we're doing, it's. It's literally down by Mexico and California. It's right.

[B]

Well, wait a minute. I got. I don't know if I have that in my calendar.

[A]

You're doing it, and you're doing an hour 20, and I'm doing three.

[B]

I'm opening up with a hot seven and just getting out, getting a Diet Coke and watch the magic from the wings. That be you. I go, you're up, guy.

[A]

Let's go. We're blabbing. Oh, I wish. This is. I know. Hold on a sec.

[B]

There's a special guest.

[A]

Hello. Ah.

[B]

How are you guys doing?

[A]

That guy looks like Epstein, but it's not him.

[B]

I'm not Brian Epstein, you silly fool. Everybody, whatever.

[A]

Beatles.

[B]

I used to manage the Beatles. Yes.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[B]

Yes. I used to manage the Beatles. Now I manage my mustache. Jealous. Can you grow a mustache like this? I look like Jeffrey Epstein. It's the bane of my existence. But I'm not him, and I'm not in witness protection by it. Shut.

[A]

Dana. Did you see the roast, by the way? I was going along with it.

[B]

That's worse than the pig reaction.

[A]

No, I was laughing.

[B]

The roast? Yeah. I've seen clips. Yep.

[A]

Anything jump out to you?

[B]

The.

[A]

The comments I got after were a little mean and sometimes not really jokey, just really rough. And then Michael Chase shouldn't be where a lot of a black roast with more white writers. So, I mean, I think you can always dig in and find something negative. But roasts are brutal. Don't even get involved. It's just so brutal. You don't want to be in there. You don't want to be in the room. You don't want to be. I thought they shouldn't have had those actresses there, because I. I feel like Netflix was like, hey, you should do the roast. It'll be fun. You don't know much about it, but it's a big event, and you can make fun of people and then they just get eviscerated. They don't even know what's coming. It's like, yeah.

[B]

I mean, you know, again, I grew up with the sort of Jimmy Stewart, Dean Martin, Rose.

[A]

Those were great.

[B]

They were. It was all kind of a happy thing. But at one point, roast jumped the shark and went downtown into what is the foulest, most like the first time I saw one and really watched it was Chevy Chase.

[A]

That's the one that we're.

[B]

Then I saw the camera, and I could tell there was pain in his eyes. And I thought, is this, like, an execution or something? This is not friendly. Funny, Chevy. You fall down a lot. It was like.

[A]

Right? So, yeah, it went from Sinatra getting roasted by Don Rickles, his friends, you know, Paul Newman, huge stars, John Wayne. It went to. Chevy was the first one. I think they just hired assassins when it's not a friend. Right? Just a good road comic. And they're like, this next comic, and they're like, hey, Chevy, you. And he's like, me? Who's this guy? And then it's like over and over. What a piece of you are. And then you go, this kind of lost the fun.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Well, I should probably announce this, that I did sign up to. To be roasted.

[A]

You would get a lot of money to be roasted.

[B]

Right? But here's my strategy, and tell me what you think about it. So there. Hey, your movie's bomb. This and that. I will just pretty much cry the entire time. Yeah.

[A]

Where.

[B]

What happened to you? Why are you even saying this, man? I would just be. I'll just be in tears. I'll roll in a ball and just cry the entire 90 minutes. What do you think, Heather?

[A]

I like it. I. I would say. I would say this. If I get roasted the whole time, they'll have a mic. I mean, you just hear this. Sticks and stones. I break my bones, but worse than ever. Sticks and stones.

[B]

Yeah, but how about this? Like, roast me. Just say anything.

[A]

Hey, Dana, that's a dumb plant.

[B]

Shut up. You shut your face, man. I don't like you. You. I mean, that's me at the roast.

[A]

Okay, give me one.

[B]

I'll give you one. Hey, David Spade. You're Joe Dirt. Not.

[A]

This roast is over. And then I walk out.

[B]

Here's me on the roast, right? Okay. To roast me.

[A]

Okay. Hey, Dana, do you like. I guess you like five Our energy. You have three boxes.

[B]

And then I. You have to imagine me in an ejection seat. I'm like, yeah, what you. What did you say? And I just hit the ceiling. I'm not going to sit and take it.

[A]

No. There you go.

[B]

Well, definitely bring two or three of these.

[A]

You could play that after every roast joke they do against you.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[A]

But there were. There were some good jokes. I have to say, this roast. I'm not saying it was Chevy Chase. It was a good roast. I only saw about an hour. But you see the clips and you

[B]

go, oh, rough, rough. It's just that. Yeah, it. Whatever. It's raising money for a charity.

[A]

Right. Sort of.

[B]

I mean, I think.

[A]

Sorry, I. I think Kevin Hart gets paid. Well, that Chelsea Handler took it. Chelsea looked. I thought she looked great. I mean, she was really. Again, I don't even know if I would have gone about Chelsea. She's funny, but. And she did some good jokes. It's just when you start, everyone's like, sort of. When I went to the roast, they were lasered on Ann Coulter. And after the Rose, I remember that because she joined in late. Someone fell. Right.

[B]

And Martha Stewart was funny. Was that one, too? One of them.

[A]

I don't think she was on mine

[B]

because you don't expect her. Go ahead. Yeah.

[A]

What happened is someone fell out, like, three days before, and I think they just said, hey, this will be a way to promote your book. I don't think she knew what she was getting into, because if you like her or not, it was a. It was really rough. They just. And even after, I think Jeff Ross told me, he said, you're lucky because there was more jokes toward you because you haven't done a roast yet. And then they all. A lot of them switched to her when she joined, like, all the, like, oh, let's get her instead. And so I could not. I couldn't even handle anything. Like, I was like this.

[B]

Do you really think that?

[A]

No, no. Do you really think that? Because some of those stay with you when you hear an angle of something that, like, if you didn't know something about yourself, and then everyone's doing that joke and you're like, I wasn't even aware of that.

[B]

Well, that's the thing. They're holding up a mirror and you're kind of like, you don't know what your contemporaries really think about you. And so they're going for your weakest points. And you're like, oh, so this is like, with Chevy. They were brutal that way. It feels. Roman. Gladiatorial gladiator.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And so the more cruelty is like, yeah, the audience is going crazy. Yeah. You know, it's not the career of

[A]

someone if they're really rough. They're like, you got him.

[B]

You got him. You took him down, man. We like to see our perform, but, you know, Kevin Hart, he's been on. On those shows a lot. Right. This is the first time he was

[A]

like, he gets roasted a lot, so it felt like he kind of. It was going to be 80 short jokes, but they. I like. Clever joke. There's some real clever jokes, though.

[B]

Yeah. Good. Good comedy. Good jokes is always good. But is it still on Netflix? So they kind of moved it. Moved it?

[A]

No, it's live. That's why the only negative is. Is it like three hours? Because they don't. They used to edit them. Now they don't. They're live. So there's some fat in there. But here's a good nagging thing they do on TikTok. Heather might have seen this one. I liked it. Who talk to you, guy. It's where you make someone feel bad, but you. You act like you're not. So the guy asked his girlfriend, hey, if you could change anything about yourself besides the obvious, what would you change? And she goes, oh, wait, besides what? And she goes, well, just besides the obvious, what. What would you change if you could change one thing? And she goes, what's the obvious? And he goes, no, besides that. Anything. And he. She goes, wait, what? What is.

[B]

What's the obvious?

[A]

Yeah. Is there something that everyone thinks he goes, yeah, yeah, but not that. And he got her going for about a good 40 seconds before she goes, hey, you like? But it is kind of funny because you say so. If someone said to me, I would go, there's a lot here that you could get on.

[B]

Well, there's an old. There's an old saying that I think is very wise. People. Other people's opinions of me are none of my business.

[A]

That's not bad.

[B]

I don't care. Think what you want.

[A]

I don't care.

[B]

I'm called the Teflon man.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

You're rubber. I'm glue. What you do to me, I do to you.

[A]

Is that how that goes when people say. I say move. And they say, make me, I go, I don't make trash. I burn it. And then everyone goes, oh, snap.

[B]

I love the world you live in. The Roast, Comedy Store, all the comedians, Bobby Lee's running around, Shane Gillis coming

[A]

out there, the Netflix brunch, that you couldn't make the brunch, and you really did want to make the brunch. I do.

[B]

I was gonna make the brunch. I was ready to go to the brunch. We did a podcast. Your house. I was gonna ride shotgun with you to the brunch, but my back. I don't get back stuff. Don't you know?

[A]

How did that go, by the way?

[B]

The guy was extraordinary, Dr. Parker.

[A]

Oh, he was, yeah.

[B]

Extraordinary. He did stuff, you know, he did Stuff to me I'll never forget. And then he also did some chiropractic work. That's a joke.

[A]

Everything you say is X rated.

[B]

No, he. He did stuff like in a. It really worked. You lay down on the table, and then he puts a belt around you like you're strapped in. And then the table starts to separate like you're in a torture chamber in 15th century Rome. But just in a very gentle way.

[A]

Open your backup.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And then it really opened everything up. And then I.

[A]

You know, he still had to drive, didn't you? Or fly.

[B]

Well, then I drove. I flew after that, six hours. I flew to New York and I did a corporate. I did a gig the next night, and then I flew back. And then I'm meeting Matt at departures. I go like, we.

[A]

We.

[B]

Okay, we planned it. So I'm going through American Airlines. I'm walking, like a mile. Just I. I'm following people. I guess I'll go left. I'll get. Go there. I don't know where I am. And then I see. Okay, I gotta go up. So I see an escalator coming down. Oh, great, there's escalators. Then I see the escalator that was going to go up. And I mean really up, like 200ft. It's broken. Then I see a staircase. 200 stairs straight up. I'm kind of adrenalized. I'm pretty strong. I'm pretty tough. But anyway, so I had a really heavy suitcase, and I just went up, and it felt really good because I was sitting for six hours. Now it's a little bit tweaked, but it was very good. He was very good.

[A]

Okay, I. I am glad you're feeling a little better. Oh, we got to do buzzing around.

[B]

Buzzing around. Okay, I want to do. And this is. This is. This is live in our thing. I want to do. I want to do.

[A]

Come on over.

[B]

King Charles, the dog. King Charles. King Charles from Great Britain, the dog.

[A]

There's a dog named King Charles that bullies other dogs.

[B]

King Charles on a. A life rafter isolated somewhere. And who else might be with King Charles is. What's Heather's hair doing in the frame she's fixing?

[A]

She's finding.

[B]

She's a proud girl. All right,

[A]

you can keep going. Oh, I have to introduce it. That's right. So you're gonna do King Charles and who else?

[B]

Well, who would be very. Not. You wouldn't expect with King Charles? Arnold. Arnold and King Charles.

[A]

It's time for buzzing Around DANA. Sponsored by 5R Energy. With a wide variety of bold flavors to choose from. You get as much caffeine as a 12 ounce premium cup of coffee, but with zero sugar, zero crash. Find 5 Our Energy Shots online at 5Our Energy.com or Amazon today. Now you want King Charles. You want two others?

[B]

Yeah, I wanted King Charles because I saw him do the address to congress. I just like doing it now. This is such, such an intense accent. Okay, on a life raft.

[A]

On life raft with let's say the receptionist at your doctor and.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm gonna have to call the doctor.

[A]

That's right, she's gonna say a lot of that.

[B]

Okay. The reception, the receptionist character, King Charles.

[A]

Oh, and Tyson.

[B]

Oh, yeah, okay. Tyson, the receptionist and King Charles on a life raft.

[A]

Yeah, there we go, buzzing around. Here we go. Take one.

[B]

You know, so strange that here we find ourselves in the middle of the ocean. There's no way around, no paddle, no way to retrieve ourselves inland. Right. Receptionist, lady. Oh, we're in the middle of the ocean. I'm going to have to call the doctor. Maybe you could call the doctor, Mark. Mike Tyson. You know, I am not calling the doctor. You know, what are you gonna do about it? What do you mean? Yeah, I'm not gonna call the doctor.

[A]

What do you. Oh, I like it. I like this.

[B]

What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it?

[A]

Oh, he wants to fight her.

[B]

Hold on, hold on. Mr. Michael Tyson, I love your boxing matches. And of all the boxes in history, you're one of the best. I mean, the predecessors before you, Jack Dempsey and others and their predecessors. Jake Sullivan. I don't know what the. I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about? The pre. Whats. The predecessors. I didn't go. I didn't go. I got a third grade education. What are you talking about? I don't know about the predecessors, but your predecessors. Perhaps we could throw you in the ocean with some kind of buoy or a rope around you and you could swim to the shore with the. Strengthen your muscles. Yeah, I'm not going to jump out of the raft in the middle of the Pacific. You're not jumping out of the raft? Well, no, he's not jumping out of the raft. What are you going to do about it?

[A]

You got to call one of my penises.

[B]

I don't really bring our relationship to fisticuffs. Yeah, what are you going to do about it? I'm not going to say to you put up your dukes like a businesses Dukes. What are you going to do about it? That's all I got to know is what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? The more you say that, the more I want to punch you in your.

[A]

How he's baiting him into a fight.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead, punch me. I know. What do you think you're going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? Oh, you're on a tape loop. You must be dehydrated.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm going to call the doctor.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yes, call the doctor, Jolio. And remember, always in the life raft with Mike Tyson, there's nothing he's going to do that you say and he's going to always save you like his predecessors. Yeah. What are you going to do about it? Mean, what are you going to do about.

[A]

Where's the piggy at the end?

[B]

What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do? Hey, I. I think we got something to eat. Look at this. Look at this. Just jumped into the raft.

[A]

Jump in.

[B]

Good. Jolly good. I love pork. Just like my predecessors.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

And scene.

[A]

Thank you. That was a good buzzing around with no prep. Sponsored by five Hour Energy's tasty caffeine flavors. Enjoy big flavor in a tiny bottle. Five Our Energy Shots pack the flavors of the season. Portable two ounce shot. Five Hour Energy Shots pack the flavors of the Season. Portable. Find Five Our Energy Shots online at Five Our Energy.com or Amazon today. Oh, you got them right there. Okay. Got a parrot. We all belong outside. We're drawn to nature. Whether it's the recorded sounds of the ocean we doze off to or the

[B]

succulents that adorn our homes.

[A]

Nature makes all of our lives, well, better. Despite all this, we often go about our busy lives removed from it. But the outdoors is closer than we realize. With Alltrails, you can discover trails nearby and explore confidently with offline maps and on trail navigation. Download the free app today and make the most of your summer with Alltrails.

[B]

Your summer starts now with Memorial Day deals at the Home Depot. It's time to fire up summer cookouts with the next grill 4 burner gas grill on special. Buy for only $199 and entertain all season with the Hampton bay West Grove seven piece outdoor dining set for only $499. This Memorial Day get low prices guaranteed at the Home Depot. While supplies Last pricing valid May 14 through May 27. US only exclusions applies. See homedepot.com Pricematch for details.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You know those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips. That's the energy State Farm brings to insurance. With over 19,000 local agents, they help you find the coverage that fits your needs so you can spend less time worrying about insurance and more time enjoying the ride. Download the State Farm app or go online@state farm.com like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Yeah, let's do a couple stories because we're already running late.

[B]

Yeah, we're always running late.

[A]

That was a good one.

[B]

I liked it. I liked it. Thanks for the assist, Heather, with the receptionist character.

[A]

Yeah, it's always funny.

[B]

And Tyson. Thank you.

[A]

I like that. Tyson. If he got dehydrated or there was a fight that they would have to call the doctor.

[B]

What are you gonna do about it?

[A]

Okay, this is a baseball one. I don't know what it is. Oh, no, it's bull. Bull fighting.

[B]

Holy. This is everything they do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It finally brings some fun back to bull fighting because it is. They always. You can see the blood when they get gore.

[B]

They don't have a cape or anything. They're just gymnasts now, dude. There's no deception.

[A]

Mary Lou Retton.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Look at how cool that is. I know you're gonna say it's AI.

[B]

You know what? I'm. I think it could be AI.

[A]

It could be. But they.

[B]

But I'm not. I'm not sure this is.

[A]

Well, they need this to bring back bull fighting. It's getting a little stale.

[B]

What's the vertical? What's the vertical? Let's see. Okay.

[A]

I wouldn't. I don't know if I would stand there and do a standing back. So maybe it's AI.

[B]

I mean, I would go on a bull ring and I'd tussle with it. I'd grab its horns and try to wrestle it to the ground, but I don't know if I'd try to do a backflip over its head. Well, first of all, is it AI, five seconds?

[A]

I don't know, because everything's AI. So really, you know, this is going to. I'm saying this is going to get all the way till court, where you say, we have a video of you committing a crime and you just say it could be AI and then you walk free.

[B]

Yeah. And you just go, you know, judge, I've enjoyed my time here. I like all the evidence stuff. Pretty cool. We had lunch breaks. I enjoyed it a lot. I'm just gonna tell you, you go yourself, because guess what? I got two little letters for you to allow me to walk out right now. And ain't a freaking thing you can do about one is A and one is I. So long.

[A]

You say judge. Is that AI or not? You got five seconds, Judges.

[B]

Oh, I do that a lot. With anyone. Any question? You have five seconds. What's your favorite movie? You have five seconds.

[A]

The best is you make it more stressed if you go, what's your favorite movie? At five seconds. Five, four, three. They can't think.

[B]

He's like, you know, I'm not gonna hang out with you anymore because you make me nervous all the time. You know. You're not gonna hang out with me? Yeah. What are you gonna do about it? I mean, what are you gonna do about it? Just buy a pig.

[A]

Oh, my God. This is a combo platter.

[B]

I know. I'm. I'm operating on all comedic cylinders. Part of me thinks it's real because you see a lot of athletic young people doing things like that.

[A]

I agree it could be real because they should be doing that. But I don't like when they stab them, so they should just dance.

[B]

Oh, the hole. And then they stab him 100 times and it dies slowly. I don't know. Hemingway loved it. Yeah, but Ernest Hemingway loved it. What are you gonna do about that?

[A]

Ernest Hemingway? Why does Mike Tyson know anything about Ernest?

[B]

Mike Tyson is very bright. He says he's very wise. All the stuff he says. Anyway.

[A]

All right, next story. What's up? What do you got?

[B]

California Mayor Ellen Wang admits to be. Oh, yeah, Chinese agent. What the freak?

[A]

Yeah. Did you hear this story?

[B]

Arcadia. That's in Los Angeles county, just north and east of downtown la. Now facing federal charges of acting as an agent of China, Eileen Wang is

[A]

set to appear in court this afternoon.

[B]

Expected to plead guilty in the coming days. She's One felony count of acting as an illegal agent. Wang faces of up to 10 years in prison. Charges stem from a website that she ran. No, the website was called Communism from China is the best. Yeah, it gave it away.

[A]

Isn't China great? Why is USA stuck so bad?

[B]

Your system's not as good as ours. That's communist China. Dot com.

[A]

Communism is sort of inching in any way, but I, I, I can't believe they caught her and she said, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.

[B]

Well, this dovetails was something I accidentally saw. You ready for it?

[A]

Yeah. Go ahead.

[B]

So Michael Palm Pay was a former in Trump's administration. Whatever. He's Secretary of State. Whatever. He's a big global.

[A]

Yeah, I've heard of him. Yeah.

[B]

Michael Pompeii, I think. And he just said that China, Communist China is just all over our society, just infiltrating everywhere. So I'm watching him say this. They're in our schools, they're in our businesses, they're in our politics. They're just like, infiltrating. I thought. I thought. You're exaggerating. Reach for the clicker. That's bullshit. And then what?

[A]

Well, also buying a lot of land near army bases. I would just say let's make it quid pro quo. Can we go buy land in China? Can we do everything that. No. So I think we had taken advantage of in those situations.

[B]

I think you want to take over a country, just buy all its farmland.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And just go, you know, with. With animals on it.

[A]

Did your animal have a baby? What do we talk about last time?

[B]

The baby's coming in July.

[A]

Live stream. Live stream.

[B]

But McGr says hungry. We. I was feeding it last night. Oats.

[A]

Holland oats. I used to joke I go Holland oats. Remember when they broke up? Yeah. Oats had a chance on his own, didn't he? Tonight. Tonight, Oats. One night only. Oats.

[B]

One show with his opening act. Sewing his. Sewing. His is the opener. And Oats is the headliner.

[A]

Pretty.

[B]

Pretty good joke.

[A]

Not bad. All right, next one. Let's try it.

[B]

Let's see this. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, watch this guy attack this bad guy right here. You ready? A little jiu jitsu for you, Dana.

[B]

Wow. No, that's amazing. He attacks an armed security guard. He jumps on him with a kind of Bruce Lee move and gets his

[A]

head in a. I've seen that move before.

[B]

Don't see it. Yeah, I've seen it before with it's.

[A]

That's like perfectly done.

[B]

Yeah. That was Lauren and Marcy. One angry night.

[A]

You know, that's a tricky one because I. The reason I don't do that move, like at the post office, if someone bumps me is that jump up and

[B]

get them in a leg lock.

[A]

It's a hard one to get right. I get that wrong a lot of the time. Yeah, I've heard. Okay, that's all. All right, one more and then we'll get. Get. I got. You gotta go.

[B]

You gotta. You gotta get in your mud bath. Heather's just heating.

[A]

I gotta get a mud bath. Oh, it's an aquarium. And this guy's being an. Lighting a cigarette, okay?

[B]

They're saying, don't put it out. And he throws it in the water. Oh, the, the dolphin, the beluga whale, the blue whale. I can't believe what I just saw. So the blue GL senses the pressure, doesn't want. Knows there's no smoking and spews like 10 gallon on the guy's head with a cigarette. Did I, did I get that right? Your, your, your video, not mine.

[A]

It could be AI but if it was AI, he would have nailed the cigarette a little harder,

[B]

right? Could have been AI if it was

[A]

AI, he would have stood up and walked over the whale.

[B]

Now I'm thinking it's A.I.

[A]

i know. What, what, what isn't? It doesn't matter. We, we have our chuckle either way.

[B]

Where does it go? What, what, what's going on?

[A]

What does it matter? Who cares? The world out of control.

[B]

Just, just, just be happy.

[A]

What happened to Tulsi Gabbard? Why did she get raided? That scared me. Isn't she. I don't know what's going on.

[B]

Did she get raided? Isn't she still in?

[A]

Trump's administration raided her office and they're like, wait, aren't you the Raider? Why are you getting Ray dead?

[B]

When in doubt, Raid. That's what. Hey guys, we haven't raided in a while.

[A]

Maybe she knows something. Because all these scientists that are dropping like flies are like, they all know something. And they're like, oh, they just put two in the back of their own head.

[B]

Well, that's going around a lot. That any of these science related to UFOs? Yeah, yeah. I had the hantavirus. Yeah.

[A]

Are you okay?

[B]

I was just had a nightmare and I.

[A]

Where'd you get it from? Mickey.

[B]

I had a haunting virus. I get it from Mickey Rourke. What?

[A]

I got it from Ratatouille. That little. That guy's the horniest animal out there. He's cute and everything, but he's riddled with diseases.

[B]

They wanted me to do that lead character and I turned him down.

[A]

Ratatouille.

[B]

Yeah, I said a French rat. Not going to happen. Finally, Pixar makes a bomb. But then they rewrote it and put Pat, who's got a great voice. I, you know, I have a boring voice as myself.

[A]

Here's you as Ratatouille. Hey, man, I gotta go make some food here.

[B]

Here's you starting Ratatouille. Like you gotta get a little sandwich. And I'm like,

[A]

I am right at 2. I gotta make some food. Get the pots and pans. Cling, clang, cling.

[B]

Get the mixer. And the water dripping. I did this character which I only did a couple times at open mics called Sound effect, in which I've told you, and it was just, you could do it better than me. But it's just. Just a guy, he's. That's all he does, ladies and gentlemen, sound effecty. You know, it's like, so I'm walking across wet grass, I open my car door, it's the same sound. I start my car. Shitty.

[A]

Sound effecty.

[B]

I wrote just the mirror.

[A]

That's not bad.

[B]

I don't. I just.

[A]

I clean my teeth,

[B]

I pick up a cup.

[A]

All right, that's the show take.

[B]

I take a sip.

[A]

All right. This has been the show we ran too long again.

[B]

This has been the show we gave

[A]

you way more than you paid for again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's it. Okay, thanks, everybody.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

See you next time.

[B]

See you next time on Fly on the Wall.

[A]

Is that a geese?

[B]

I think.

[A]

Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, Give us review 5 star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

[B]

If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

[A]

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Matty Sprung Keyser and Lynn Leah Reese, Dennis of Odyssey, our senior producer

[B]

is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet.

[A]

Tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

[B]

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.

[A]

Reach out with us. Any questions be asked and answered on the show? You can email [e-mail] that's a U-Y dot com.