Iliza Shlesinger

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade: Featuring Iliza Shlesinger Episode Release Date: February 26, 2025
Presented by Audacy

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade, hosts Dana Carvey and David Spade welcome renowned comedian Iliza Shlesinger. The trio delves deep into Iliza's comedic journey, her creative process, experiences in the entertainment industry, and her upcoming projects. The conversation is peppered with humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions about the nuances of stand-up comedy.

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Early Career and Rise to Fame

Iliza shares her rapid ascent in the comedy world, highlighting her transition from open mics to headlining clubs within three years—a feat she considers challenging.

Iliza Shlesinger [02:49]: "She's someone who went to her first open mic and then was a headliner in clubs within three years, which is not easy to do."

Dana playfully contrasts her own longer journey in stand-up:

Dana Carvey [03:05]: "That took me three years to learn how to hold the mic."

David adds humorously about his limited stage time initially:

David Spade [03:10]: "I had about, you know, 14 minutes."

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Stand-Up Process and Special “A Different Animal”

The conversation shifts to Iliza's meticulous stand-up process and her upcoming Amazon Prime special titled “A Different Animal”.

Iliza Shlesinger [14:56]: "My new special is out on Amazon March 11th."

Iliza elaborates on the challenges of refining jokes without over-reliance on recordings:

Iliza Shlesinger [15:31]: "I tend to listen back if it's a brand new joke. Like, my new special is out on Amazon March 11th... and that's gonna be a good one because I've seen some of the stuff she's doing on it."

Dana and David discuss the emotional toll of reviewing one's own performances:

Iliza Shlesinger [16:54]: "It's weird. It's like, so this is something I wish on other people, but I can't watch myself."

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Comedic Anecdotes and Industry Insights

The hosts and Iliza share numerous humorous stories from their careers, including mishaps during introductions and interactions with fellow comedians.

David recounts an incident where he mistakenly mispronounced Iliza's name:

David Spade [48:51]: "I said her name wrong. It's a tricky name."

Iliza appreciates David's genuine apology, highlighting the camaraderie among comedians:

Iliza Shlesinger [52:41]: "I couldn't believe that someone of your stature, that someone that David Spade was reaching down to little me to be like, hey, sorry about that."

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Balancing Personal Life and Comedy

Iliza opens up about managing her career alongside her personal life, including motherhood and maintaining her comedic edge.

Iliza Shlesinger [25:02]: "I showed my daughter a bunch of In Living Color and tried to explain why certain sketches are funny."

She discusses the impact of her comedy on her family and how she introduces her daughter to humor.

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Insights on the Comedy Industry

The trio delves into the dynamics of the comedy scene, discussing topics like sexual harassment, sustaining a career, and the evolution of stand-up platforms.

Iliza shares her proactive approach to bypassing challenges in the industry:

Iliza Shlesinger [14:06]: "I was able to sort of become a headliner and bypass a lot of sexual harassment very early on."

David reflects on the relentless nature of stand-up:

David Spade [12:45]: "The other night I actually got up and I seldom do this with just a list of jokes that I have written that I haven't gotten to."

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Upcoming Projects and Collaborations

Iliza reveals details about her upcoming Amazon Prime special, emphasizing the hard work and preparation behind the scenes.

Iliza Shlesinger [55:21]: "I wrote it. It's a... It's based on a true story, and I starred in it, and it's available for streaming 24 hours a day."

She also hints at potential collaborations and future endeavors, maintaining an air of excitement about her evolving career.

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Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with light-hearted banter about outfit choices for performances and humorous takes on audience interactions. Iliza promotes her special one last time, receiving heartfelt support from both Dana and David.

Dana Carvey [55:36]: "A different animal. Amazon Prime, March 11th."

David commends Iliza's upcoming projects, reinforcing the episode's supportive and friendly atmosphere.

David Spade [55:38]: "So vouch for that."

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Notable Quotes

• Iliza Shlesinger [16:54]: "It's like, so this is something I wish on other people, but I can't watch myself."
• Dana Carvey [03:05]: "That took me three years to learn how to hold the mic."
• David Spade [48:51]: "I said her name wrong. It's a tricky name."

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Conclusion

This episode of Fly on the Wall offers an intimate glimpse into Iliza Shlesinger's life as a comedian, her professional triumphs, and the personal experiences that shape her humor. Dana Carvey and David Spade create a welcoming environment that not only entertains but also provides valuable insights into the world of stand-up comedy.

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For those who missed the episode, tune in to Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade on Audacy to catch up on all the laughs and stories shared by one of today's most dynamic comedic talents.

Transcript

[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

Notify trusted individuals of events like alarms or packages, and set access windows for planned guests or even the dog walker without interrupting your day. Visit ADT.com when every second counts. Count on ADT requires ADT complete pro monitoring plan and compatible devices. Copyright 2025 ADT, LLC. All rights reserved. You know, when I'm on the road, Dana, I'm always. I'm always pretty much staying in hotels. But there's been a shift to Airbnb, and you hear about it all the time.

[Dana Carvey]

Hotels are fine. There can be great. But Airbnb is a great alternative, you know, because you get a lot of choices of where you can stay. It's very practical.

[David Spade]

I mean, hotel can be like, oh, like when I go on the road, I go, that one's. The closest hotel is a half hour from the gig or something. But you say, oh, Airbnb just go, oh, I want to go a little closer. I want to be in this area. I want a swimming pool and I want this.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And I famously have said many times, a place we used to go, my wife and I, to get away, and we stayed at some really nice hotels, but then we found this Airbnb, which we used, I think, three times. There's always spotless. The keys are outside in a little padlock, and they used to have a bottle of wine and a note, and you have a kitchen. And it was very, very nice. The benefits of Airbnb is that space, privacy, better locations compared to hotels. You get to pick how close you want to be to wherever you want to go.

[David Spade]

You're traveling with family, your friends, you're on your own. It's great. Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. What do you got?

[David Spade]

Well, we have Eliza Schlesinger today, who is comedian. I actually see a lot down at the old clubs and colleges. I play.

[Dana Carvey]

I have. Yeah, she goes to the Comedy Store. She's. She works, man. She's a.

[David Spade]

She grinds it out. Like Nikki, there are these. I'm not gonna say these women. Yeah. It's just really. These comics just grind it out. And she's good, I think. I always see her kill. I. I follow her a lot. She comes in because she does like three a night and because she's got a special coming out, you know, this, the. The Amazon prime special.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, the one called A Different animal.

[David Spade]

That's right. March 11, I think.

[Dana Carvey]

Amazon prime.

[David Spade]

And that's gonna be a good one because I've seen some of the stuff she's doing on it. Yeah, she talks. Well, you know, she talks. She's got so much great stuff, and she's had so many specials. She's been out there. Books, specials, podcasts. She does it all, and it's all working.

[Dana Carvey]

And we get to talk to her just about her process. And I love that word, her process. She's someone who went to her first open mic and then was a headliner in clubs within three years, which is not easy to do.

[David Spade]

Very hard.

[Dana Carvey]

Took me a lot longer. That took me three years to learn how to hold the mic.

[David Spade]

Three years. I had about, you know, 14 minutes. I. I mean, honestly, you think you have an hour? You don't?

[Dana Carvey]

No. So she had a killer hour and 36 months of stand up. She has a cool name. We talk about how people just, you know, like, I was always. Instead of Dana Carvey, it was Dana Garney. Horrible introductions early on in your career. Yours was.

[David Spade]

Oh, I gave her. I gave her a bad introduction, too. I didn't even mess up this messenger part.

[Dana Carvey]

There's a controversy about.

[David Spade]

There's a big controversy.

[Dana Carvey]

There was a big thing that happened between Eliza and David, and we talk about that, and we talk about what she wears on stage, her marriage. It's a fun episode. I really enjoyed talking with Eliza.

[David Spade]

Without further ado, here she is. He was like a John Belushi thing. Yeah, he got it going, man.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

He hated women. Oh, no.

[Dana Carvey]

Women.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, he. It's. He's like, famous for quoting.

[Dana Carvey]

What do you. I like pizza. I like movies, and I hate women.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

He was. He's famous. He's famous for saying women aren't funny. And I only think about that because journalists always bring it up, and I'm like, he's dead. So I guess I wins follow forever. J.

[Dana Carvey]

Have you ever been like, what, you read something and Eliza said this and it's completely made up?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Obviously half not or just like a half quote and you're like, I'm sorry that I said that, like, half awake on a podcast in 2010. Like, do I still need to.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Remember my. My firm stance on dogs versus cats on a sandwich being a PETA going.

[Dana Carvey]

Out on a limb, literally.

[David Spade]

Dude, PETA had a good run. I mean, that PETA bread, that was a good bit for.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Well, like, stoner podcast. People have to be like, oh, no, is a. Is a tender McNugget. Is a PETA a sandwich? And you're like, the world's on fire? I don't, I don't know.

[David Spade]

Well, it's literally on fire.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Literally.

[David Spade]

I was going to say it was too soon, but when I said last night to someone, well, this is rude, we'll take it out. But I said, I said, oh, where do you live? And they said encino. And I said, oh, did you get have any problems with what happened in the Palisades? They said no. And I said, oh, even the fire doesn't want to go to the Valley. And they just stared at me and I go, no, but actually so it was horrible. So everything okay? I had to skim over it. You know what I mean?

[Dana Carvey]

I'm going to defend Encino right here, the first house. Are you going to Encino? And I would go over the Mulholland hill into the Hella Hollywood, Hollywood party. Who loves you? Go back to the country. I'm defending, I'm going on record defense.

[David Spade]

I like Encino.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I. The first TV show I ever shot, we shot it in Encino in like a mansion. It was like a reality show and I had no real reference for it. But as I get older, you're like, oh, that's where all the money in the Valley goes. Like, if you want to live like a millionaire in Kansas City, buy your house in Encino and you can live.

[David Spade]

Like a person isn't seeing all the nice version. Is it like closer to the mountain.

[Dana Carvey]

Is better, but it's on the flats. But you want to be south of Ventura. You don't want to be in the crime ridden areas. Although they have their advantages in fun too.

[David Spade]

Was this show called the Bachelor?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No, it was called you would only know this if you had trouble sleeping and or a coke addiction because it aired so late.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, what was the subject of it? Let us see if we can guess the title. What was the idea of the show?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It was called Excused and it was like a dating show, people. And I was the host. Date. Oh yeah, I did. We did. 230 episodes. Holy. I have eaten. The bigger issue is that no one knows the show, but I have eaten at every single restaurant in Encino and.

[David Spade]

Out there I love it.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Rosetta and Encino. If there was a lunch special, if there was a sushi bar, I ate there.

[Dana Carvey]

Who does two? What network was that on? How did I miss a 230 episode? It's like Seinfeld.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's like I'm. I mean it's like Friends minus the money. It was syndicated, it was CBS studios, so it was picked up in all these Crazy markets. Every once in a while I'll get some like, dude in skinny jeans. That's like, I used to watch you when I was getting ready for my shift.

[Dana Carvey]

Skinny jeans.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I used to watch.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Before I go watching Ruckers.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you like it? It wasn't really.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

That's right.

[Dana Carvey]

You ever get a backhand, a compliment? I, I heard you're pretty funny, but it's not for me, man. I saw some of your stuff.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I stopped, I stopped watching when you got married, I stopped watching.

[David Spade]

Oh, do they say that?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Oh, it's. You can take the. Go with the bad. You get all kinds of weird compliments that I'm like, look, you would still love to have sex with me. We both know it. But thank you so much for buying this ticket and enjoy the impress. Enjoy the show.

[Dana Carvey]

I want to walk around with that attitude.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

If you want to have sex with me, we both know it.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

We both want it. You could.

[David Spade]

We both want it, but I am married and so it's tough.

[Dana Carvey]

But yeah, but do women comedians who are photogenic, let's put it this way, attract the creep element more than the stud dudes that the men.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I guess I can't comment on more than. Because I. But I think it's not even about being attractive. I think you just, as a woman, you just like, leave the house. You're like, here I am. And then the universe is like, well, here's the list of weirdos that are going to make it tough for you no matter what you look like. So I don't even know if being attractive matters.

[David Spade]

Guys are just like, hey, let's do this. They'll figure it out later if you're attractive. They just need some. They just need to get something going.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I mean, it's def. I've definitely talked to male comics, big male comics, lesser known ones that have. I mean, I think stalkers come in. I think mental illness knows no gender.

[Dana Carvey]

And yes, that's your next. Your next special.

[David Spade]

Good hooky title.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah. Because it includes everyone.

[David Spade]

Ali Wong always slams when she gets on stage. She goes like Paulie Shore brings up. She goes, paulie, there's so many girls that would fuck. This guy's the grossest guy out there. All male comics are gross. And all these girls will them. It's so rude. We're all in the background now. Hear, hear.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I am here, here. Let this meeting come to order.

[David Spade]

Now see here.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Oh, I thought you meant here, here. Like, I, I like, I agree with that.

[David Spade]

Like, no, I do like it say here, here.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I say. I think most male comics are. Would proclaim themselves degenerate scumbags, and I think they wear it proudly. And you become a comic because you're.

[David Spade]

Like, look, of course we can all.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Agree I'm physically repulsive, right? But if you can make a woman laugh, I mean, it's disreputable, that rumor.

[David Spade]

Yeah. And I always say music. I mean, comedy's like, music where. How. What kind of comedy are you doing? Are you like. It's like saying, I like music. It's too general. So you can make a girl laugh that's on their wavelength. Like, what kind do you like dry humor? Do you like goofy? Do you like. So sometimes you do sync up with someone because of that. Of course. I mean, if that's your only. Listen, I wasn't famous in high school. There's nothing going on. It's just all trying to be funny, that's all.

[Dana Carvey]

And you're not on a platform. Go ahead, Eliza.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Well, I was going to say what's weird just for a moment, if I could.

[Dana Carvey]

I want to hear this back.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

The current. You said you weren't famous in high school, but, like. And I don't. I watched you guys in high school, and that's what's crazy for me.

[David Spade]

Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

And, like, just shoot me chopping broccoli. The church lady. Like, I. I mean, I know all of your resumes, and, David, sometime some parts of the year, you and I share a similar haircut. But. And. And we were on many lineups together. And, Dana, I've never met you, but it is very weird to finally talk to people. And I felt this way when I met you, David, where you're like, oh, my God. Like, you were my reference for so many funny things for all the sketches I wrote in high school. And.

[David Spade]

Oh, I mean, is that. That's nice, right?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I mean, David, I probably never got to talk to you about this because we always see each other in passing, but, like, I don't think there was anyone of the most impactful sketches was, like, the Gap girl sketch. And Dana, like, my mom bought me Wayne's World on VHS as a surprise for a sleepover. I memorized the whole movie. Like, you guys are massive bricks in, like, a comedy fortress that I've, like, built in my mind.

[David Spade]

And so I like that.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

This is crazy.

[Dana Carvey]

I totally get that. You know, the things that I saw, like, if I had met John Cleese at a store, I still. Oh, good. I want to wake up. But I get it if you're in your formative. I say 6 to 12 or 13, 14. That time frame shows you watch comedians, you see. So we get it. But of course, you know, now that we're just people who were went to a club on a bet and then ended up on television. We get it. You don't. Can you kind of emotionally or mentally touch your fame and how much accolades and money you're making doing this? Is it. Or is it still a little bit surreal? You're pretty young.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I don't know. There's. I. It is. It's grounding and surreal at the same time. Like, sometimes you look around, you're like, oh, my God. Like, every stitch of everything in this really nice house is because I thought to make a joke about something, and then I look at all that's weird, all the things I don't have, and I'm like, and you could be making more jokes and have nicer things if you got out of bed quicker.

[David Spade]

I think we all are under the weird. You always look to someone that's sort of well known and that you grew up with, and you forget that they're sitting there going, I could do more, I could do better. That's all you're thinking all the time is like, work on my act. Work on this. Try to get this going.

[Dana Carvey]

Where are you at on the disciplines? Because we've met different people on this podcast who really do workshops, like Nick, Nikki Glaser, you know, Jim Gaffigan. It's an amazing thing. How. How. How effortless was or how hard was it for you to get a position on Stand Up Mountain? Did it come quickly or was it a grind or. I don't know. Your.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It came relatively quickly. I think I got my position relatively quickly because I became, like, a solid touring headliner in 2008.

[Dana Carvey]

And when did you.

[David Spade]

Jesus.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I started when I was 21.

[David Spade]

Well, 2000.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I graduated. Wait. I graduated college. I started when I was. So I graduated College in, like, 2004, 2005. And so I did it for about three years.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Became a touring professional after.

[Dana Carvey]

That's fantastic.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

And this was. You know, it's. It was when it was. And so I was able to sort of become a headliner and bypass a lot of sexual harassment very early on.

[David Spade]

Shocking.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

But I don't know. David could tell you. I mean, he sees me out. I'm out when I'm not on tour. I'm out every. Almost every night of the week.

[David Spade]

I mean, you're jumping club to club, right?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah. And. And it's something that you think would like, kind of like lighten up over time. But I'm about to turn 42 and if I'm not on the road, all knock back like two or three sets a night just to. Just for the love of it, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

And do you record always or do you just go and do it?

[David Spade]

You know, do you remember it? It's hard to remember for me.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I tend to. If I do record, I have trouble listening back. So I tend to.

[Dana Carvey]

I can't.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, I'm like, who wants to hear this? This is awful. I tend to listen back if it's a brand new joke. Like, my new special is out on Amazon March 11th. And so I've already started.

[Dana Carvey]

Different animal.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

A different animal.

[Dana Carvey]

Amazon Prime.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Amazon Prime.

[David Spade]

Not regular.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

You can get your. While you're watching me, you can shop for air filters, toilet paper, Chinese socks.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, this is kind of. This is inside baseball. I love that phrase. But sometimes when you're trying to debit, your setup just happens to be perfect, maybe sometimes because it's a new bit and then if you don't record it or you don't remember, you're like, oh, it's not working as well. What was that setup that made me enter the joke perfectly? You know, it's frustrating.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's frustrating what I have done and I've done this. I don't rely on this, but I have a pretty close relationship. Like, if you follow me, you're a pretty decent fan. I will put on my own Instagram stories. Hey, if you were at the 8 o'clock at the theater tonight, what was that thing I said about pigeons and people? Or I'll say it on stage. I'll be like, could somebody text that to me? And someone always remembers it.

[Dana Carvey]

That's smart. That's.

[David Spade]

I crowd source my own memories and phrasing. I'll tell you, Liza, I'm the same way. First of all, I saw we were on the same show probably three nights ago. But I have to say, when I do it, I don't know what I like to do. New bits. I record them, but it's almost worse to listen to them. It's awful because it's so sickening that I have to make myself go. I recorded. I did it the right way. I just have to hear it or write it down. So I memorize just the phrasing because it worked. And then it's so lazy. But it's something sickening about. Repels me to. And I have to. I do another show and I Wait all day and then I go, I got to just hear it and go, that is how to do it. Okay. But it's so hard to make yourself do that.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's hard to. I mean, I recently, you know, I got all the promo cuts for my Amazon special and I have to watch myself back and I have to take like a deep cleansing breath.

[David Spade]

Gross. Yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

And it's weird. It's like, so this is something I wish on other people, but I can't watch myself. Like, there's something very, very removed about all of it. Like you have the ego to get up there, but actually digesting yourself for yourself is a weird existential kind of torture.

[David Spade]

And how long did you do your special tape it and then how. So you taped it and you said you're already working on. Do you want a full new hour or do you want mostly new before you go out or what do you want?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, I mean, the timeline to, to the, to the average civilian, the timeline is. Seems different than it is because. And you guys know this, by the time people see your hour, you've already been on the road and working because it's like a four month time period between when you record it and when it's actually released. But even. Yeah. And even prior to recording it, you had jokes that didn't make it or jokes you were taking out that you still want to work on. So you're just constantly. The other night I actually got up and I seldom do this with just a list of jokes that I. That I've written, that I've written down that I haven't gotten to. And I just read them and then we'll just start with those little.

[David Spade]

Just see what, what pops out. You're right. Sometimes it's a bit of a trick.

[Dana Carvey]

One of these jokes.

[David Spade]

Yeah, give us one.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Sure. Okay.

[David Spade]

Sure, sure.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I basic. I want to explore the absolute rage that I feel. My. I have to preface it by saying my husband is awesome. We have a lovely relationship. He wakes up at like 5am he gets our daughter ready. He makes all of us breakfast. He does everything. He's elegant, he supports women like he's the best. The absolute abject rage I feel toward him when he takes a. When he takes a nap, like he needs it for his. So he won't collapse, so he'll live. There's just something too gentle. I'm like, why don't you take your nap, you little gentle toddler. Why don't you take that little baby. Baby nap and rest your eyes like this. He's been up for 18 hours. Like he has to take a nap. So he doesn't.

[David Spade]

I didn't see this napping on your resume. I don't think we would have had a first date if I knew you napped all day. And you're like. He's like, I get five minutes a day. Just relax.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's a one hour nap. And I'm like, but what if I need to talk to you? Like, it's so. It's less that. It's more about making fun of the unjustified anger. It's never an anger. An actual anger toward him.

[Dana Carvey]

That is funny that you're just enraged. You're not kind of bothered or a little bugged, you're just furious. Is funny.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I. Yeah, I just want to be like, hey, can you ask Noah a question? I'll be like, don't know. Because he's in the land of nod. So I guess we'll just put our lives on hold while he naps. Meanwhile, it's one hour, everything's fine.

[Dana Carvey]

Is he on a couch publicly or is he in a bedroom with the door.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No, he retreats to the bedroom.

[Dana Carvey]

And no one can go in there.

[David Spade]

By the way that walk of shame. Trying to. He's trying to. I'm getting mad too.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm getting fucking pissed at this guy.

[David Spade]

If I was at your house talking to you guys and he was quietly going in the other room like, where are you going?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Where are you going? Probably say, were you creeping off too? I need you time. Yeah. I gotta talk to you about a conversation I had with a female friend. Can you get back here?

[David Spade]

Female friend.

[Dana Carvey]

Here's what you tell your husband to say, which will make it slightly funny and less annoying. Oh, Eliza, I'm going to take to my bed.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

That sounds like he's ill. Like, take to the water or.

[Dana Carvey]

It's very regal. It's a king.

[David Spade]

No, it couldn't be worse.

[Dana Carvey]

To my bed take.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

That does sound like you're sick because I also remember you were in the road to Wellville, so I wonder if that's.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, you saw that?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I did see.

[David Spade]

That was Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

Me.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

He played like kind of a street weirdo guy. Excuse me, who was Anthony Hopkins was my dad. And I got unhoused.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I said unhoused.

[David Spade]

Yes, it was an unhoused hobo.

[Dana Carvey]

I got to hang out with Sir Anthony Hopkins or Tony. But the last day there I. I just had see a hoppy. But anyway, we're close. That was.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

We're close.

[Dana Carvey]

It was a thrill being with him, you know, just couldn't. Couldn't imagine anything.

[David Spade]

You played an unhoused bum. Like when you combine the good and.

[Dana Carvey]

The bad creeping around this mansion in upstate New York and terrorizing Bridget Fonda.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, I actually have been to that. It's called the Mohawk Lodge.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And it is haunted, right?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I mean, anything old is going to be haunted. I mean, but we used to go there. My dad used to take us there.

[Dana Carvey]

Really?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

When we were kids. Yeah. It's so random. It's in.

[David Spade]

Wait, Eliza. Is it called Mohunk?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. M o H o. And didn't we do a SNL retreat there or.

[David Spade]

No, we did a retreat in New York in Mohonk.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's in not Pel. Plattsburgh. Platts something. It's. It's up there by Hudson.

[Dana Carvey]

It's like that's a way way up. Up Hudson.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's a shit.

[David Spade]

Do you remember that we all went. Eliza, all the cast.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, I was.

[David Spade]

Went up.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I was there. I was on.

[David Spade]

What do you mean?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I was in the cast. I was on snl.

[David Spade]

You were there?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, I had. I didn't do a lot that year.

[David Spade]

You would have been there for three seasons as a 10 year old feature player. Just never got on.

[Dana Carvey]

You could have played the junior high girl with the ponytail. What's up?

[Unknown]

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[Dana Carvey]

I like to introduce things. You know, it's kind of part of my brand, you know, new things.

[David Spade]

What could you introduce me to? All I want to hear about is a new podcast. If it's not that, I don't want to hear it.

[Dana Carvey]

Let me think for a minute. Oh, have you heard of this one that you I'm going to introduce to you. This new podcast is called Campus Files, a weekly series that dives into some of the wildest scandals that have taken place within colleges and universities. Often revered as a beacon of integrity and excellence, Sometimes the reality of college life is just absurd. So.

[David Spade]

Oh yeah, so I've been to Arizona State University. I know very well it's, you know, from rigged admissions to sports scandals to Greek life drama, Campus Files exposes the stories that you won't hear on the campus tours.

[Dana Carvey]

I gotta admit, this is a really good idea. Listen to and follow Campus Files and Odyssey original podcasts available now on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Eliza Schlesinger]

I will tell you, I show I My daughter's just turned three and so it's on me to show her what's funny. So I showed her a bunch of In Living Color and then I was like, you need to see this sketch. It's called Matt Foley.

[David Spade]

Whatever.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Whatever he was. And it was the one with you and Christina Applegate.

[David Spade]

Oh yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

When he falls on the table. And I was trying to explain to her why that's funny when someone falls onto furniture and she took the funny right out of it.

[Dana Carvey]

Did she react to it? I mean she's three. That's.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Nope. But she will. She will ask for it in like six months. She'll be like, I want to see the furniture guy. And then you'll be like, I will pull it back up.

[Dana Carvey]

Furniture guy.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Does she watch Ms. Rachel?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No.

[David Spade]

Really?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Just never thought about it.

[David Spade]

I thought that was the big hook.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No, but we watch a lot of Michael Jackson thriller on repeat. The whole video.

[David Spade]

Oh my gosh.

[Dana Carvey]

Wow. Because that's a little scary, right? It's monsters coming at you and stuff.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I was like, you need to know what good music is. Halloween was there. I was like, you have to know this. And now, I mean, if you're a parent, you will just live to see all of your favorite things repeated to you ad nauseam until you hate them. We listen to Thriller every morning, multiple times.

[Dana Carvey]

If you had to guess next Halloween, what would your child go as you think would it be. I already know Spider Man.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Oh, she's going as Elsa. I already asked her. It's either Elsa or Michael Jackson. Oh, it's whatever.

[David Spade]

It's funny. Next year it's a nine months. She already knows on it.

[Dana Carvey]

Three, four or five. Halloween rocks. I mean, Halloween is for that pocket the cute kids twick a tweet, you know, and then the. The 15 year old high school dude, could I get some candy?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

You know, so my block does the Halloween for the. For our entire area. So it's like a thousand people job. Not only that, the kids are so rude. They don't know to say trick or treat. And I. My like joy in life is putting on a witch face. And I heckle these kids.

[David Spade]

Oh, I love it.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I try to be. And they kind of crave it. And when a kid comes back for candy and I'm like, I recognize you. Get out of here, you little fat brat. And I turn them away. I don't call them fat, but.

[Dana Carvey]

Right.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I love to scare them because you have to say please and you have to say trick or treat. And they don't.

[David Spade]

No, they don't know.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

They know.

[David Spade]

I. I was telling Dana that the super bowl has a roman numeral like 48. I'm like, let me tell you something. No kids know what goddamn Roman. Can we drop it with the Roman numerals? They don't even know what numerals means. They know the word number. Barely.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

They can't read cursive. They're not reading ancient numbering systems.

[Dana Carvey]

The AI is gonna teach your daughter.

[David Spade]

So true. They're so stupid.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

They no idea.

[David Spade]

Excellent. Eliza, you are. I'm not reading this. Eliza, you from Dallas, but do you remember was when you were there. You're too young. But my favorite club was the Dallas Improv on Central. Central and Walnut.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Oh, it moved because now it's in Addison.

[David Spade]

Addison is one like next to a freeway.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

The whole city's next to a freeway. It's Dallas, Texas. The whole city was built off a toll road.

[David Spade]

That's funny that the Addison Improv to call that. Okay, I played the Addison Improv, but there was a Dallas one and the manager used to take us to the Million Dollar Saloon. Dana. It wasn't a real regular, like, old.

[Dana Carvey]

West saloon spellbinders in Houston. Anybody?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I'll tell you what, I think Dallas has at least. It used to have, like, more strip clubs per capita. And then I think Portland and probably Atlanta. Join the chat. But.

[David Spade]

Join the chat.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Join the. Join the strip chat. But Dallas has a lot of them kind of down there in that area.

[Dana Carvey]

In that whole area down there.

[David Spade]

The manager would take all the comics down there and he'd give them free passes and they'd be like, oh, this is good. Oh, wait, it's good. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Is that when you were playing there?

[David Spade]

No, Eliza, that's just. They were. They were only allowed to go, I'll tell you what, paper the room.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I could just see like any female comic working, like, being like, oh, cool. Thanks for these strip club passes. I. Yeah, I'm so glad.

[David Spade]

I can't wait. We had a good, good thing going. I remember you won't know this because you're too young, but when I worked there at the Addison Improv, this cute waitress said she dated the drummer for nxs. Now this is going way back. That's an old band. And we're like, you don't even know who NXS is. There's not a chance. Because no one anywhere but LA sees anyone famous. Just never happens, right? God. Lo and behold, that God dang drummer. Phoenix S comes in the club when I'm there, I'm like, ba, ba, ba ba.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

What?

[David Spade]

And he said, this ties into you. You got. Oh, the comedians. If you want stay a day and on the night off we'll all go to see Michael Jackson and I'll get this ticket. And he took us to Michael Jackson.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Where did you. That's amazing.

[David Spade]

Somewhere in Dallas at some big dome. I was like, oh, my God, this is. It sounds like a lie. It might be a lie. Actually, I'm going to back off a little bit.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

What do you mean it might be a lie? Did you go or did you not?

[David Spade]

No, because you reacted too big. So I was like, wait, am I lying? Oh, I think it's true. No, I think it's true.

[Dana Carvey]

I saw him lie. But I met him when he was. I went 13.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah, you met him when you were a bus bus boy waiter at.

[Dana Carvey]

The Holiday Inn bringing Michael Jackson and all the Jackson family dinner and Fruit Loops.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, at a Holiday Inn.

[Dana Carvey]

Holiday Inn, which was Near a regional theater called the Circle Star Theater, 3000 in the round. The Jackson 5 was playing there in 75. I was a busboy, waiter, you know, room service guy. And so I got to know him a little bit. You know, I always brought him raw carrots and.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Is that you getting to know him.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, in the story? Better than I gave him carrots and left. Also, Little Richard. I waited on him. He answered the door naked. That's true.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

What city is this?

[Dana Carvey]

This is. This is San Carlos, California.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I feel unqualified to be on this because I don't have these. I don't have these storied other than, you know, like, I don't Dane cook at the beverage. Nobody wants to hear that. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

The person you'd most want to meet right now, like a famous person. Well, he. Like Taylor Swift. You met her. I'm just throwing it out. Okay. Most famous person.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I've never met her. I guess it's. I don't know. I don't think I. It's about like, oh, I want to meet them. It's more about like, oh, I'd love to work with them.

[Dana Carvey]

I see.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

But. But, I mean, I met Billy Crystal once, and I cried, and he was so nice because there is a comic, you know, it's not about rock stars. I mean, I think if I. If I met Nicki Minaj, I'd be like, we have to talk. I have so many things I've always wanted to say to you. And she would tolerate me, and she'd be like, whose mom is this? But as a comedian, there are so many people. If you are. If you're lucky enough in your career, your idols become your colleagues, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

And that's very unique and kind of weird, kind of sad.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's sad for the idol, but it's. I don't know. I think. I don't know anybody from. I mean, if I ever met Jim Carrey, of course, obviously, I could never meet Chris Farley, but that would be impactful. Will Ferrell, I'm sure I will take a meeting with at some point and will embarrass myself. Big fan of Elizabeth Banks. I've only met her executive.

[David Spade]

That's a good one.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I barely. I think I've chatted with her. But, you know, you see, like, women that were on snl. Like, you see these people and then you remember that, you know, they're just like you. These are just normal people. But Billy Crystal, I did cry because that was incredibly meaningful.

[Dana Carvey]

And what.

[David Spade]

He was big when you were Growing up for me. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Was it. Was it as him on SNL or him.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No, because that was. Again, I think this podcast should be called you're too young to remember this.

[David Spade]

But you're so young and you're gonna blow away.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm just wondering where you.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

He. Because he was on SNL, obviously.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

@ the very beginning, he did a movie. I mean, obviously there was City Slickers.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

But he did a movie called Mr. Saturday Night, which sometimes gets overlooked by standup comics as this, like, seminal piece of work in terms of, like, movies about standup comedy.

[Dana Carvey]

Right.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

But we watched it a lot growing up, and now that I look back at it, you realize how much of it was true in a way that you couldn't process it. It as a kid.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

With no context.

[Dana Carvey]

He did that character in a special. I think he did a special where he played all these characters at a house somewhere or something. And I remember it standing out. He's, like, really in the pocket with that character. And then he did the movie. Yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah. And so. Yeah.

[David Spade]

What do you. What'd he sound like? Was he like this or something?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No, it's just a New York Jew. Just like a New York, like, sticky.

[Dana Carvey]

What do you want? Yeah, what do you want for me?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

King of the Jungle. How about Queen or King of the. It was a Davy Crockett joke. It wasn't. It wasn't the Jungle. It was King of the Wild.

[David Spade]

It sounds like a joke.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

And then.

[Dana Carvey]

And then.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

And so I don't know, but I will say. I mean, anytime you work with anyone bigger than you, you're just kind of like, oh, wow, this is. I feel bad for this person, but this is really cool that I'm here.

[David Spade]

Where did you see him?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

He was doing a town hall, like, for the New York Comedy Festival, and I had a show.

[David Spade]

Why? Or something.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No, it was at town hall, like.

[Dana Carvey]

It was called in New York. Oh, yeah?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah. And I snuck back there and I went, like, under the stage, like, Phantom of the Opera style. And I, like. I was like, I bet he'll be here. And he was no security because it's.

[David Spade]

You know, John Hinckley style.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

More like I did it. Yeah.

[David Spade]

And so you see him and you go up and you're not, and he's nice to you. That's great.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Somehow I always let people know, like, I'm a comedian, just so you know. Like, I'm not a weirdo. Like, I'm like, I do what you do. We're the exact same. Can I get a Picture.

[David Spade]

Which means, I'm a weirdo. I'm a weirdo equals I'm a weirdo.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Well, there's also that thing with comics. Someone is a comic and you're like, are you. Or is this something you, like, think about doing? But I do think it is a nice thing, like, to level the playing field. When a comic comes up to me, they're like, hey, I do comedy too. It's a nice way of being like, hey, like, I mean you no harm.

[David Spade]

Yet it kind of like you're on the same club. Like, anytime you go to the backstage Comedy Store, you walk in a club on the road, or you do a guest spot and you see comics, it's all like, equal. Everyone's like, hey, hey, hey, what's up?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, like, you could at least introduce yourself or say hi. I mean, but there is. I always feel bad when, like, a comic is like, I couldn't get in. I'm like, if you're a comic, you can come in. You can always come in for free. I don't want people to think that. And then you just say it. But you're. You're allowed into these spaces to just hang out.

[Dana Carvey]

It's very interesting when you get an out of the blue compliment, because if you're slumping around on a Sunday afternoon or something, and I think, yeah, you totally forget that you're on TV, kind of. @ least intellectually. And then all of a sudden, somebody goes, I love you, man. And then walks away like, oh, thanks.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Oh. And they don't want anything too. And that's kind of nice.

[Dana Carvey]

They don't want anything.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Oh. The most humbling is when I'm like, did you. Because sometimes I'll say it because I know someone will be nervous because I'll pick up on the energy. I'll be like, did you want a picture? And then they say no. And I'm like, I'll just go myself then. I didn't want to give you. I feel so bad.

[David Spade]

Like, I don't want to go. I don't want to go that far. I'm not really into. I mean, you're fine, but. Or get off.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

They'll wait in your vi. This. This may not be relatable to a lot of people listening. They'll wait in your VIP line with people who paid a lot of money to meet you and have a photo. And then they'll say, I don't want a photo. I just wanted to say hi or thank you. And I'm like, okay, but you spent 100 this is still a hundred dollars. You sure you don't want a quick Snapchat quick something?

[David Spade]

No.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Nope.

[David Spade]

Nope.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Just want it. Okay. I respect it.

[Dana Carvey]

What about the people that you take a photo? Let's. Let's take a photo. Like, let's take it.

[David Spade]

That is good. But Dana, she's saying, what if you say no?

[Dana Carvey]

What do they say? I've never had anyone say no. I don't relate.

[David Spade]

I've had people say, I. Only 100,000 photos say, hello, bro.

[Dana Carvey]

But I.

[David Spade]

Backstage. Let's say, Eliza, you're doing a corporate or regular backstage meet and greet, and they have a professional photographer, right?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

So they go, this moves. Boom, boom. And then you do it. And everyone slowly pulls out their phone after they get the real picture. Goes, let's just do one on my selfie.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Dumps everything. And they're like, how do I flip my phone? I'm so nervous. What's my code again?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Okay, so what do you do? That's your tour manager's job. We have a policy. One picture per group. You guys all came together. You have each other's numbers. You give the phone to the tour manager, and we bang them out. There's no. I don't want to see you fiddle with your LG Chocolate razor.

[David Spade]

Fiddling.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No fiddling.

[David Spade]

Not with your Sidekick.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I don't want to see it. Just have it ready.

[David Spade]

Suzuki Sidekick with your.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

With your Kawasaki Jet Ski. I don't want to see you.

[David Spade]

Why did they stop making that Sidekick phone? Whatever. I remember Kid Rock had one. I thought he was so goddamn cool. He go. And it's kind of spins out. It was those.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It was so. I never had one, but they looked really.

[David Spade]

I never had one either. They were too cool.

[Dana Carvey]

I have a. I have a question about phones, and no one's ever answered this to me. Like, they make these giant, you know, library book size phones and, you know, all that. Could I get a second phone that just so everyone was tiny that I could just talk on, that has the same number?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Everyone at home knows Dana Carvey's holding up an iPhone 6. And I don't know how he still has it.

[David Spade]

Is that.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No, no, it's a normal phone. It's a normal phone. An ipod shuffle.

[David Spade]

Shuffles were a great.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

People have. People have phones that just perform a phone call duty. It doesn't have the Internet. Like, people are going back to that now since we're all getting a drug dealer.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, nice. If you're just around town, you could have, like, this really light phone with the same number and still have this when you want to go show people of videos. Come on. Come on, Tim Cook. Get your ass.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Is that how badly you want to show people videos? Like, Dana Carg just walked around like, look at this cooking video. Look at this hibachi video.

[Dana Carvey]

What it is. This is being recorded. I go, look at. This is me with Eliza. This is me with David Spade, you know?

[David Spade]

Yeah. So wait, actually, if I've seen women and they at dinner and they put down the two phones, like, stacked on each other, I'm like, hook, hook, hooker.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Oh, that's what you. Oh, I thought you meant, like, you got me hook, line and sinker sex workers.

[David Spade]

That's what they think I mean. And then I go, nope, we got a hook alert.

[Dana Carvey]

When I first met David, he had. He had a burner phone. I go, what's that for? Never mind. You know?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, what is that, David? What's that about?

[David Spade]

He's lying. But it's a. It's a funny fictitious scenario, so I'm.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Going to tell you the truth that nobody's gonna cop to. Oftentimes when you see someone with two phones, if they're not a drug dealer and there are. I can think of a Kevin Gates song about having two phones. It's called Two Phones. It's oftentimes just a performative flex. Like, they're like, sorry, I just get so many. I can't. I'm like, this is. Sorry. This is a microcomputer with the entire power of the world in it. And you're telling me you're so disoriented. You have so much going on that the Internet can't hold all of your information. Your phone book is so full that you need two different. And I think if you're a mega celebrity, like, most people just won't have your number. I'm not even that famous, and most of my calls go to an assistant. So the two phone thing, unless you have one for work that you throw in a drawer at the end of the day, is really. And people, like, hold them up to be like, oh, sorry, I just have two of these. Like, okay, we get it.

[David Spade]

That is a good flex. Like, I want to.

[Dana Carvey]

Three Performative Flex is another possible special for you.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah. With three X's.

[Dana Carvey]

So six specials in a pretty short. Well, I guess they would spread them out, but it's a lot of specials.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It was in one year. It was in one year. We did two every two a month.

[Dana Carvey]

How do you know when you show up what you're Gonna wear. Because I. I never know till, like, 10 minutes before I guess I'll wear this shirt.

[David Spade]

Oh, on your special. You mean on your special?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Plan it out for.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

To be fair, Dana, right now you look like you're in a sleeping bag.

[David Spade]

To be fair, you didn't think anything before this.

[Dana Carvey]

It's an Adam Sandler puffy jacket. Oh, yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's a Cotopaxi original. Oh, no. We can tell. No, no, no, no.

[Dana Carvey]

You're right. That is a very funny observation.

[David Spade]

Women know more about guys clothes when they walk up and they size it all up. And the guys don't even know they're being analyzed. And it's like, a pretty good outfit. And they're like, later going, did you see the shoes? He had this with that. Yeah. They just know everything.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's not. I mean, I used to. In one of my old specials, I have a bit about how we scan. Like, we scan everything. And it's not about. Because I'm not a gold digger. It's not about, like, ooh, was that a nice watch? It was like, oh, are you. Are your shoes weirdly outdated to where it's like you had to make a choice between, like, these shoes or your electricity being on. Are you wearing, like, a Kenneth Cole reaction shoe? Like, that shows that no one's dressed you in a long time. Are you wearing workout gear? But you're. Obviously, you haven't done cardio. Are you wearing a tech vest? Are you wearing a Cotopaxi jacket? And they all inform us about your. Are you wearing an arctic flannel? Like, do you have a cocaine addiction? Like, there's all these things for better or for worse. But to answer your question, of course not. I mean, we plan the outfit. I think I work my material. I think the outfit is second to how precious the material is, and then the lighting and everything else, but the outfit gets planned.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I saw a clip of you. Well, you were wearing. It was kind of black, and then there was sort of. You were hip flexors.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Were.

[Dana Carvey]

Were exposed. Yeah. And it was. It was kind of a cool look, you know, I mean, it's very cool. I don't. I just buy sounds a bit. I'm revealing, trying to be invisible. You know, I have, like, I'm a.

[David Spade]

Bit of a proof T shirts, you.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Know, Look, I'm not gonna pretend, like, as a woman, what you wear doesn't matter. And I. There's certain silhouettes I enjoy. And for this special we. I just wanted to do something sexy but powerful but fun. I found the pants prior to having my last baby. So I held on to those pants for, like, a full year. And I was like, I'm going to get into these pants come hell or high water. And I just stared at them every day.

[David Spade]

Do you feel like when I was trying on for my stupid special, like, oh, I might. It's guys, it's like, nobody cares 90% of time. A T shirt and a coat, and it's usually those jackets with no collar, whatever. So I was trying something out, but I don't usually wear coats on stage. I don't do much movements, but I don't want to have any resistance anywhere. Like, yeah, it's too tight, or you're trying to look good. And you're like, I can't really do what I do. And I'll think about. I'd rather just be loose. So that's why my excuse is I don't look that great on them. Also, I have one coming out in the future.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, let's.

[David Spade]

I didn't know I was going to wear.

[Dana Carvey]

What is the title of it, David?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Would you call it Stupid Special? That's what you just said. You were like, in my stupid special.

[David Spade]

My stupid special. This garbage. I think it's called this garbage. And I didn't decide what I was wearing because I brought two things to the special. And we were backstage and I was doing them both, and I go, this part of this. We wound up doing a combo platter because they said, you have five minutes before you go on. So this is what I'm worried about before I go on. And the crowd is there, and they're like, guys, which. What is he walking out in? So we just know, for whatever reason they want to know month ahead.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

They got to steam it.

[David Spade]

They got to steam. No matter what you're doing, as long.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

As you don't have wrinkles. Look, here's the deal in terms of men's comedy. There's Eddie Murphy raw, and then there's whatever else the rest of you guys wear. Like, it either has to be impactful and iconic or literally no one cares.

[David Spade]

I'm going with literally no one cares. I'm going with. People go, what did he wear in this fashion? They're like, oh, did he have any clothes on?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

We don't even remember that's how good the material was.

[David Spade]

Laughed at, the jokes. Or we don't. But we go, that means literally nothing. Why, guys? That's why I go, I don't really care. Just what do I wear all the time? People have already Decided they like me or they don't. Let's just.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Well, I don't think, I don't think people, I don't, I think it's all about what you give to your audience. And I don't think people watch you for a sartorial experience. And I think when you're a woman, people have to like, it is about what you're wearing. You know, it. Does it, Are you, does it hug your body? Can they see your body? Are they not seeing your body? Is that deliberate? I think women get judged on these things in a good and a bad way. But for guys, it's just not the way that we think about you. Like, if someone sees you, it's like, oh my God, it's David Spade. Not oh, did you, I mean, maybe on a Saturday night, like, did you see those leather pants? You know, it's just not your, it's just not part of your brand.

[David Spade]

And some females are like, are you a hoodie comic or do you dress up? I almost, you know what I mean?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Well, that's because for the longest time, you know, the audience, it took them a while to wrap their minds around the fact that, that a woman was speaking. But now I think, you know, I see a lot of younger girls just going up and just everything's out and they don't think about it. And the answer is, you're welcome. It's because of women like me in our generation putting in that work in those American Apparel hoodies so you could wear a belly shirt. Your data is like gold to hackers. They're selling your passwords, bank details and private messages.

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[Eliza Schlesinger]

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[Eliza Schlesinger]

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[Eliza Schlesinger]

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[David Spade]

Hoodie comic.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Hoodie comic. I was one of them. My picture is on the improv wall next to yours, actually. And I'm in that hoodie. Very low. Yeah, you're right next to mine. It's right when you walk in.

[David Spade]

Eliza, do you remember when I brought you up wrong?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Not only. Yes. Do you want to tell it? Because it was a very sweet story.

[David Spade]

You tell it.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I feel like I remember half of it.

[David Spade]

It was in the original room at the. At the Comedy Store. So I. I think I brought you up. And I said your name wrong, Right?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Definitely.

[David Spade]

I said your name wrong. It's a tricky name.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's. To be fair, it is awful.

[David Spade]

I think I got the first name wrong.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Not even your last name? Yeah. So what? Oh, yeah. So I felt so bad because it was very unprofessional. Even though intros are always screwy. Like, Bobby Lee's coming in, this idiot. Blah, blah, blah. He's my dad. You know, it's always screwy. Forget mess up the credits. But I said her name wrong. I didn't know her enough to do her name wrong. And then I. Oh, Adam Eget was working there. So I said, can I get Eliza's email maybe just to apologize for doing that?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It was a. You got it. And. And I got it. So for people listening, Adam Egot was the manager, general manager of the Comedy Store. And now I think he manages Mothership in Austin. And he texted me, and he was like, spade's gonna message you. And I. Because I think I may have said something to you or I didn't. But the way he said, spade's gonna talk to you, the vibe was like, hey, you did something wrong. And now comedy royalty is about to not only blacklist you, but you should never have gotten upset that he mispronounced. Like, it was like, spade's gonna. He didn't say, reach out. Reach out is a good thing. It's like, space, better bring down the hammer. And I was like, okay. And you reached out, and I was never gonna say anything ever again because I knew it wasn't personal. And you went out of your way to say that it was a mistake and you were sorry. And I couldn't believe that someone of your stature, that someone that David Spade was reaching down to little me to be like, hey, sorry about that. In an industry where people are, like, aggressively awful to each other for fun. And I always remember that about you. And unfortunately for you, I was like, oh, cool, now we're friends now I can always talk to him.

[David Spade]

Yes. And then I said, no, I gotta get it right now. All the time.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

All the time. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Because I can't mess it. I can't keep messing it up. One time, Dan, I went on in the original room, and Bill Burr was next, but he was in the hallway bullshitting, just like a typical night. And I got the hiccups like. Like, I'm sure to Bill, like a girl. And I've never done this. And I hiccuped up every joke. And I started laughing, but it was too much because it was like the same thing over and over. And they're stopping laughing, and after about three minutes, I go, hey, is Bill out there? And. And I go. And I hear what? And I go, can you come up? Now I have to get off. And he's like, you got the hiccups. And then I was like, oh, this is the worst guy to go after me.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Now, his first five minutes was like this. So that was funny, but that was another. Or story similar. He didn't apologize.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

No. But just know that if you're watching a show and comics give each other like, that, it's because they're friends. I don't think I've ever really seen a comic, like, up. And then the next comic gets mad about it. Like, it's never. I've brought up comics I don't even like, and I've never given them a bad intro. I've never been like, this next guy tried to sexually harass me over the phone, and now I'm famous and he's not. Please welcome. Like, I would never do that.

[David Spade]

I think all you did. Now I'm thinking about it, when I walked up and said your name wrong, you took the mic and you go, it's Eliza. And then you just went on and. But you weren't scolding me. You just said it right for the audience to know. And then I was like, shot. Leaving the stage like Platoon. I was like, oh.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

And. Because I deign to softly correct it. And then Adam's like, spade's gonna talk to you. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's gonna get mad that I knew my own name and you were so nice.

[David Spade]

There's a rumor you softly corrected someone. I think I did. He's like, what the.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

You owe David Spade an apology. Your name is now eliza shell.

[Dana Carvey]

Shell. Ms. Shell singer.

[David Spade]

That shell singer.

[Dana Carvey]

There you go, Ms. Eliza.

[David Spade]

What's the most common mispronunciation? Or is there one?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

What Dana just did. Deliberately or not? I can't tell if it's a bit.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I was kidding.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Okay. Thank God it's, oh, yeah, Schell, Singer, Schlesinger. But I don't even correct people because it ultimately doesn't matter because the more painful part is having to then hear them try to correct it. And then it becomes like a linguistics lesson.

[David Spade]

Sure.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

And you're like, I'm just trying to promote this show.

[David Spade]

Got this special, I was introduced.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm just doing a lot. Dana Garney, this next comedian. It's kind of funny, some people.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Dana Garney.

[Dana Carvey]

It's just reading off a piece of paper. Dana. D A N A. And then they just the. The V or something. Dana Garney, ladies and gentlemen.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Greg Fitzsimmons told me that he one time and he's in my phone as this got Grapefruit Simmons. I don't mind that people are just uneducated. Not checked in, just out to lunch. Just making up words.

[David Spade]

Not reading, but Eliza. How nerve wracking is it when they go, there's no MC and you're up there and they go. And you go, who's next? And they're like, Bill Squankmeyer. And you're like, this next guy is so good, you don't even know who they are. You've never even heard of them. Do you remember when I want to say, oh, yeah.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I mean, the art of standup is 99. Making up a bullshit credit for the next comic who you have no real reference for.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it used to be a good way to put it.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Right. It used to just be clubs and colleges, but now that's. I mean, if you're playing colleges as your main thing, like, maybe you're not doing great. And so. And so it used to be Comedy Central, which it really isn't anymore. So now, I mean, I brought up a comic the other night and I was like, you know him from the Internet. Please welcome. It was. It was Morgan J. And who is known from the Internet. It's not like you met him on Star Search. And so I thought. I just. I just usually like, this next comic is hilarious. One of my Good friends, please welcome.

[David Spade]

I do that.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Anyone. Anyone is next.

[David Spade]

Yeah, throw someone out here. All right, let's plug. Let's plug Eliza's thing one more time before we let her go. And I will say before I let.

[Dana Carvey]

You go, Eliza, different.

[David Spade]

I just talked to today, someone. I said you were coming on, and they said, tell her good on paper. Movie is great. And that is a Netflix movie.

[Dana Carvey]

That's right.

[David Spade]

That you wrote.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I wrote it. It's a. It's based on a true story, and I starred in it, and it's available for streaming 24 hours a day.

[David Spade]

And it is.

[Dana Carvey]

On paper.

[David Spade]

It's very hard to write a movie. And. And you were in it.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Even harder to make one. Turns out. Turns out it takes a lot.

[David Spade]

So hard to make a movie. Yes. So vouch for that. And. And the special. Dana, say the name of the special. I'll let you know.

[Dana Carvey]

A different animal. Amazon Prime, March 11th.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

We shot it in where? In Salt Lake City, which I knew.

[David Spade]

That's a great place, right?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It's secretly an incredible comedy town.

[David Spade]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

You wouldn't think that. And they're the best. And I have to be honest with you guys. You are my first podcast I've done to promote it. So you're the first person. I guess it was Dana that I've heard say the special out loud, because the title's been a secret.

[Dana Carvey]

That's cool. How big was the theater? What did you do this time? Size?

[Eliza Schlesinger]

It was the Echols. So that's. I want to say 2300. I also want to say 1800. It's all such a blur, but we filled. We did two tapings at the Eccles, and it was gorgeous, and the outfit was hot fire, so I'm excited for one to see it.

[David Spade]

I would do one in Salt Lake. They're good. Good crowd.

[Dana Carvey]

The outfit was cool. If it's one, I think.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Yeah, I hope it is. I hope they sent you the materials. Salt Lake City is basically people. Not everyone there is Mormon, but what you get is a city of, like, almost no crime, people who don't really drink alcohol, jacked up on sugar from soda shops, and just really looking for a good time before church. That's who's there.

[David Spade]

That's right.

[Dana Carvey]

I gotta play that.

[David Spade]

And they're good. You got to gain it. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

All right, thanks, Eliza. We'll talk soon. I'll see you at the store.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

I'll see you tonight.

[David Spade]

All right. Thanks for joining.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Bye, you guys. Bye.

[Dana Carvey]

Thank you.

[Eliza Schlesinger]

Thank you.

[David Spade]

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please Follow subscribe Leave a Like a Review all the stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is. Wherever you get your podcasts Flying the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.