Is Spade David’s Real Last Name?

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Episode: "Is Spade David’s Real Last Name?"
Date: August 3, 2026
Hosts: Dana Carvey & David Spade
Podcast Summary

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Episode Overview

In this lively and unscripted episode, comedians and SNL alumni Dana Carvey and David Spade catch up amidst Spade’s hectic filming schedule and offer listeners a hilarious behind-the-scenes look at showbiz life, travel mishaps, animal antics, and classic comedy riffs. The episode is rich in playful banter, personal stories (including the mystery of Spade's last name), spontaneous impressions, and a few deep dives into pop culture and current events, sprinkled with their trademark sarcasm and offbeat observations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. David Spade’s (Terrible) Hotel Experience [02:17–09:16]

• Spade recounts his ordeal with his hotel while shooting “Grown Ups 3”:
  • Arriving early for wardrobe tests, only to be stuck in a room with a seriously bad odor (“embalming fluid” or “dead body in the drain” vibes).
  • Multiple failed attempts at deodorizing the place and disbelieving reactions from hotel staff.
  • Spade jokes about being a “prima donna” but insists, “even you guys wouldn’t stay here.”
  • Notable quote:
    • Spade: “I have a stuffed dead body in my drain of my shower... soaking in formaldehyde.” [06:31]
• Carvey’s reaction:
  • Doubles down on Spade’s claim that he never complains, but the story is “really going to be new.”
  • Quick riffs about hotel branding:
    • Spade: “Are you in a Best Western?”
    • Spade: “I’m in a Worst Eastern.” [02:20]

2. Horses & Animal Hijinks at Dana’s Farm [12:29–15:51]

• Carvey shares a heartwarming and hilarious story about his family horses:
  • Chaos as a foal and his mother are taken away in a trailer (for “stud duties”), driving the other horse into an emotional meltdown.
  • Running joke about horses not knowing their names; suggestions for new horse names.
  • Dana and David riff on 80s sitcom “My Two Dads”.
• Notable quote:
  • Carvey: “There’s six names. I’m not sure. Did you or Heather introduce the name or you wouldn’t. Just asking.” [16:25]
  • Spade: “One of the names, the original name, was David Spade... but the horse doesn’t know its name.” [16:37]

3. Flying Nightmares and the Comedian Pilot [19:58–25:11]

• Spade’s cross-country flight to New Jersey, derailed by storms and stand-up pilot:
  • The pilot singles out Spade, unleashing “A plus” material with jokes like, “We’re going to Newark, stopping in Bangkok.”
  • Delay after delay—tarmac jams, diversions to Dulles, and slow refueling—leave Spade stranded for over 12 hours (door to door).
  • Notable exchange:
    • Spade: “I got crickets. That’s when I start to go bananas.” [24:50]
    • Carvey: “Remind me never to travel with you.” [50:03]

4. “Grown Ups 3” Film Set and Comedy Shop Talk [26:25–28:12]

• New director revealed: Spade names Kyle Newacheck (“Workaholics”, “Happy Gilmore 2”) as the new director, manages the “moving parts” of the film’s big cast.
• Meta commentary on Spade’s character (“Higgins”) and running SNL-style bits:
  • “Keep your eyes on me at all times. Eyes on the prize, Higgins.”

5. Name Changes & Hollywood Connections [59:07–61:15]

• Discussion around celebrity kids dropping famous surnames (Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise’s daughter):
  • Debate about privilege, erasing connections, and if it’s really possible to hide Hollywood roots.
• Title topic addressed: Is “Spade” David’s real last name?
  • Spade: “When we live, and Chris Rock said, people think we both made up our last name.” [60:50]
  • Carvey: “Too cool, too cool.” [60:52]
  • Spade: “Best thing my dad did give me a cool name and then split. But I liked it. I like the name.” [60:54]

6. Comedy Impressions Blitz: Fauci, Carvey’s Characters, and “Red Rednecky” [34:09–44:31]

• Multiple impressions unleashed: Tony Fauci under congressional examination, Lorne Michaels, Christopher Walken, and a new AI-assisted redneck character “Red Rednecky.”
• Notable quote:
  • Carvey as Fauci: “On the advice of my attorney, I will invoke my right under the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution...” [34:04, recurring]
  • Carvey as Lorne Michaels: “The richer you get, the more casual and relaxed and you get very quiet. I think maybe we should have some sourdough rolls.” [42:59]

7. News & Oddities [50:12–58:08]

• Headlines discussed with irreverence:
  • “Arsonist cuts off penis, then uses it to start a blaze” (the hosts riff on media sensationalism and redneck stereotypes).
  • Turtle Club & Master of Disguise: Carvey references his cult character and jokes about a “Turtle Man” detective show pitch.
  • Katy Perry’s on-stage mishap (getting stuck in a giant bottle during a concert).
  • Childhood bullying, comeback lines, and parental over-involvement (“I know you are but what am I?” revisited).

8. Banter on Wealth, Privilege & Social Commentary [31:02+]

• Wry observations about NYC “billionaires” tax debate, the cost of living, mentions of “private jets,” and what’s considered normal in Hollywood.
• Greta Thunberg sitcom? Carvey launches an SNL-style game show pitch: “How Dare You?”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the difference between reporting and complaining:

  • Carvey: “You're not really complaining, you're reporting.” [36:29]

• Spade’s travel take:

  • Spade: “People go, do you only tell stories about hotels and flights? I’m like, nope. And then here I am. Exactly. Those two. Check.” [11:26]

• On child comebacks:

  • Carvey: “The basic classic from my childhood was, I know you are, but what am I?” [55:36]

• Carvey on showbiz name rumor:

  • Carvey: “Hey, I’m just going to say this... Is Spade your real last name?” [60:30]

• On production chaos:

  • Spade: “We’re trying to really recreate memories and moments and magic. Anyway, all this fussing and fighting and we got through it, but so far, so good.” [04:54]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:17] - Spade’s hotel horror story begins
• [12:29] - Dana’s horses and animal drama
• [19:58] - Spade’s disastrous flight and comedian pilot
• [26:25] - “Grown Ups 3” update and film director scoop
• [34:09] - Fauci and other impressions
• [50:12] - News stories (including wild headlines)
• [59:07] - Discussion of celebrity name changes
• [60:30] - Is “Spade” David’s real last name?

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Tone & Style

The entire episode is marked by quick-fire banter, self-deprecating humor, pop culture riffs, and their easy friendship. The hosts freely mix real stories about Hollywood’s underbelly with outright absurd jokes, SNL reference gags, and long-standing comedic chemistry. Both comedians play off each other with a winking irreverence and the sort of rambling, laugh-out-loud storytelling that’s become their trademark.

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For New Listeners:
Even if you haven’t heard the show before, this episode captures its essence: showbiz gossip, personal disasters, topical riffs, and legendary comic banter. Spade and Carvey’s blend of inside-baseball Hollywood tales and universal relatable gripes—flight delays, hotels gone wrong, family farm drama—makes for a thoroughly entertaining listen.

Skip the ads, dive in at [02:17] for the first round of hotel carnage!

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Closing Note:
This episode reaffirms that “Fly on the Wall” is a comedy comfort-food listen: ever-resourceful, never too proud to make themselves the butt of the joke, and always ready to pull a celebrity impression or go off-script for the laugh. And yes—Spade confirms, it really is his last name.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

But wait a minute. Are you in a Best Western?

[A]

I'm in a Worst Eastern.

[B]

It's great that you have Oppenheimer jokes three years later. Do we have any Odyssey jokes or so the flight lasts 13 hours and then you have a stink bomb in the hotel. You try to get a bite to eat. The grill's 50 years old. Is that what you're saying?

[A]

That's a good summary, Piers.

[B]

You're in a hotel and you're going to move again or what?

[A]

Yeah, I'll take all the fan, the fans. Hey fans or whoever struggles through the pot.

[B]

This is Tell them what's going on because this Looks like something happened.

[A]

This is real life, guys.

[B]

Like a natural disaster.

[A]

Well, can we. Are we skimming over your hair? Looks good.

[B]

Well, is it? Do you want me to send you the product?

[A]

I mean, send me everything. Everything involved with it.

[B]

Well, first of all, don't be jealous. Second of all, I know a path for you to look like this.

[A]

I have a path. I'm definitely pathless. And I need some pathogens. So here's what happened. I am in a hotel, which is perfectly nice out here. In Grown Ups.

[B]

You're filming Grown Ups 3? Let's just say it.

[A]

I got here early. They like to get you here way early.

[B]

Yeah, we have, but we're doing a

[A]

bunch of testing and a bunch of this and that. Wardrobe and stuff. Showbiz lingo. Don't let me lose you.

[B]

I was lost when we started.

[A]

When you saw where I was.

[B]

Why? Just because it looks like there's been some mild seismic activity or something.

[A]

Like I'm in a bomb shelter. My hair has been fussed with all day. Oh, okay. So they've been. That's why it doesn't look as good as yours, necessarily. But it is hard when you're in there and they're like, okay, are you doing Chris? Because I'm dealing with his. His gray hair and the grayness of it. We're trying to figure out what level of gray. I'm like, guys, it's blonde. And then everyone's like, it's what? You don't.

[B]

Are they talking about you?

[A]

Yeah, they're like, you don't think your hair's blonde? Yeah. Yeah, I do. And they're like, whoa. A lot of yes men around you.

[B]

Well, what was the. What was the general hair color in Grown Ups too?

[A]

Grown ups too.

[B]

Let's go to the tape.

[A]

It's blonde, but, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're trying to really recreate memories and moments and magic. Anyway, all this fussing and fighting and we got through it, but so far, so good. The hotel is the funny part. There's two funny parts. The hotel. I'm not a complainer, Dana. I would never complain about that.

[B]

You never complain. I've never heard you complain. So this is. This is really gonna be new. And, you know, I think. I don't know if you got therapy or what happened, but this is my attitude toward that.

[A]

Dana, be fair. I.

[B]

No, actually, it'd be this.

[A]

Is that a boo?

[B]

No, it was more like, ah. Happy was not a boo. I was trying to get clapping, but I up. Anyway, it happened.

[A]

We'll Fix it in post.

[B]

It's already fixed.

[A]

We've got a couple post days scheduled for this podcast before it.

[B]

So you're gonna be on this grown Ups movie for. Let's give the fans a little bit of that. Go pull the curtain back.

[A]

I would say November.

[B]

So you're. You're gonna be from these kind of weird institutional rooms, cafeterias. You'll.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You and will set it up in a hallway, a phone booth.

[A]

So just don't. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's on the run. It's part of the charm. So the charming part is in my shower, you know how they spray, like renews it or something on the carpets to. To keep it a smelling like it's nice.

[B]

They try chemicals.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's a little toxic.

[A]

And sometimes it's a little chemically toxic.

[B]

Mean.

[A]

Well, they mean so well. But I also have a stuffed dead body in my drain of my shower. I think that's soaking in formaldehyde. And what do you. What do you shoot the body you have to keep when. After people die.

[B]

Wait a minute. Formaldehyde.

[A]

Formaldehyde. And there's another thing I had said.

[B]

But wait a minute. Are you in a best western and

[A]

I'm in a worst Eastern?

[B]

Well, Heather's the loudest she's ever been. I love that.

[A]

No, we popped a cork with that one. I don't get booed on that. That was a good one. Now embalming fluid.

[B]

Okay, got it. So you live in a place where it smells like there's a dead person in the drain of the bathtub.

[A]

Right. So in the shower. So I open the door for the shower and it's like a wafty wave of like. So I obviously, I'm sickened by it, but I think, oh, they put too much. That renews it spray or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, I know the thing. Yeah. Febreze.

[A]

Why is it in here? Like, they clean it with Clorox. I go, it's too strong. I'm very sensitive, Dan. And so I said, guys, it's so then the second day, I couldn't stand taking a shower, so I go, heather, stick your honker in there. See what, sir, what's going on and smell it. And she was like, like, obviously I got a nose for news, but this was. She confirmed. It blew her back. Like, it blew her back out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now, wow. We're back like in those old atomic bomb movies. Then we call the manager and he's like, I go, come up to the nuclear testing site. I want to show you something. He Opens it. He's like. Embalming fluid. It really just gets in your faculties. So anyway, I don't want to sleep in this room, but I might change hotels anyway. And then I go, well, I want to change at least this room. Such a prima donna. And, you know, production, they're like, oh, my God, what's. What's the latest problem? Like, it's really nothing. But even you guys wouldn't stay here. But I'm staying here too long because I finally ship into a different room after this. After this podcast.

[B]

Did. Did they acknowledge the smell like, when I came in?

[A]

He.

[B]

Oh, and so is this Grot Grotto grab. Are they going to pay for gratis? Is that the word?

[A]

No, I don't know if it's gratis, but they're going to let me switch rooms and they've been very nice. And then I shut the shower door. And then the big reveal was they go, we haven't any person clean it. They clean, scrub, scrub. Don't really know what they're cleaning. I took out all the shampoos because I thought one might be accidentally filled with Febreze. So I took them all out, put them by the door. And then that night, I opened the shower. I wasn't ready because the shower door is always open. It must be coming from the drain because it had built up to. It was.

[B]

So you're just three times.

[A]

Oh, well, also, the lights don't work, but.

[B]

Well, that's ghosts.

[A]

Oh, the lights flicker, then they just went off, and then they don't work at all.

[B]

And so this is you. Okay, Heather, I'll talk to you later. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna check it out.

[A]

My room. What?

[B]

Now you've gone.

[A]

Not one instant move. My life.

[B]

God, this really feels like. Okay, a documentary shot. Like some kind of war zone.

[A]

Got this couch here about that.

[B]

You're Anyway correspondent.

[A]

Anyway, I'm here on the front effing lines to get that five hour in there.

[B]

It's a miracle that you pulled this together, Howard.

[A]

So, I mean, what's. Heather is so professional. She kept all the five hours in the box. So they're super heavy. So I'm lugging them around going, this should just be the. You seen the shell? The casing?

[B]

I. Yeah, we don't want to. We can cut this part out because you. Well, yeah, you want to actually use the product so it'll be lighter.

[A]

I took them all out to drink them. I mean, these I know I have in my socks right now. Okay. Other than that, give me some horror stories, then I'll save my flight. I don't know if you can handle that part either. That's quicker.

[B]

Yeah. If that was

[A]

people go, do you only tell stories about hotels and flights? I'm like, nope. And then here I am. Exactly. Those two. Check.

[B]

We were. The wife and I were in a five really big, big time Vegas hotel. Oh, we give you a special suite.

[A]

You know, working, doing, walk you up, they show you around, they give you special suites.

[B]

You know, there's a pool table. Unbelievable stinkeroo. Just like you had it.

[A]

Oh, there's a stink.

[B]

Yeah, it was like this. I checked in the room, then I went. But they came up with Febreze. And then they said, don't flash, don't flush too often the toilet. That they come up that way. And this is like 3000 a night for the room.

[A]

Yeah. Jesus.

[B]

No, that was. It was part of the gig. Whoops.

[A]

Right. I got it. But we got a stinky thing.

[B]

So what happened? That was very dramatic here. I don't know. You could make the jokes, but the. Jose came with a trailer and he took the mom and the baby away to get them used to the trailer. We thought, yeah, McRosa. And by the way, the little cult has six official names. Because I found out all horses don't know their names.

[A]

Oh, that true?

[B]

Yeah. So it's either some say San Francisco, some say whatever. But then the little. The older quarter horse went crazy when the two friends left.

[A]

Oh, no. How long are they going for? Just for the session.

[B]

Well, actually, we did. We thought it was to acclimate the cult to going around a trailer. But they did go over and it was the stud of the valley. I know she had the baby like three weeks ago. I was.

[A]

I was the first one to say it. I said, she's not ready. She's not ready to date.

[B]

Yeah, she's not ready. I mean, she's still thinking about the other guy. But anyway, so they. This was going on and it was all over the valley was this sound of the let the horse from behind.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Really? For an hour we had neighbors calling, are you okay? Your horse is just going crazy. So, you know, and then the other horse came back morosa, and she had kind of a smile on her face. I don't know what happened.

[A]

Is it the same dude or is it a new one?

[B]

It. Dude, you need to know. It is actually a new. A new stud. A new. A new dad? Yeah, a new stud. There's. It's Called a stud farm. And you're familiar with that, right?

[A]

I mean, I like that. The kids doing an episode of My Two Dads. Now

[B]

that's a good reference.

[A]

How far back does that's going back? That's like.

[B]

Oh, is that Tom Hanks or. No.

[A]

Or it was Paul Reiser.

[B]

Yeah, Paul Reiser.

[A]

Were they gay? What was the story?

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

I mean, she had two dads.

[B]

Yeah, my two dads. Yeah. Yes.

[A]

90s or there is a widow or something.

[B]

There's always a widow.

[A]

Let's look at a clip. No, we don't have the clip. Okay.

[B]

I just want to polymark it.

[A]

Let's look at a clip is a good bet.

[B]

Sub in the first 15 minutes or under. I just won $15,000. No, people take me serious.

[A]

So anyway, the horse went away.

[B]

Horse went away. The other one cried and it came back. That's my back.

[A]

That's good. So the other horse isn't freaking out.

[B]

And then the horse was just super happy. Yeah.

[A]

And they obviously was related to the horse.

[B]

Oh, totally. You kind of think they're just like. Because they'll just stand in a field for like 11 hours staring. But it really missed the horses. Then as soon as they came back, it was all calm again. So they do have emotions, David.

[A]

I think they. They like their usual situation. And you kind of upset the apple cart a bit.

[B]

Well, they don't know. They have an IQ of two or two and a half, so they don't realize that the horses are coming back.

[A]

And they could be back in a day. It would seem like 30 years.

[B]

Right. And then if the horses go out again, they don't realize that yesterday they went out. They don't remember that. So they're up. Roja. Rojo was really upset again.

[A]

So wait, what are some of the new horse names? And then we'll move on.

[B]

San Francisco is in the running.

[A]

That's a long one.

[B]

Yeah, that's a long one. People like Dusty.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I like Dusty. I remember. Yeah, Whitney suggested Dusty too.

[B]

I know. So Whitney may be the winner. I mean, she's in right now. There's six names. I'm not sure. Did you. Did you or Heather introduce the name or you wouldn't. Just asking.

[A]

Spudley.

[B]

Well, one of the names, the original name was David Spade.

[A]

I know, but that's not going to get that horse any respect.

[B]

But the horse doesn't know its name. So as far as we know, they know. They know us. They see us and they. They love us. Don't be jealous.

[A]

Falls right around the corner.

[B]

Is it? Yeah, it is. Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Oh nice.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

You know those classic tri colored freezer pops we used to fight over during the scorching summer days? Well, the genius folks at five Hour Energy just did something incredible. They completely reimagine that absolute freezer pop classic as a delicious firework freeze five Hour Energy shot. And let me tell you Dana, it's a game changer for your daily routine. I cracked one open right before recording the show today. Wow. And it's a serious bold flavor explosion. In every single sip you get this incredibly nostalgic combination of two juicy cherry, citrusy lime and that sweet candy like blue raspberry we all love. All hitting your taste buds at the exact same time. What do you think?

[B]

It is honestly amazing how they capture that exact taste. But here is the absolute best part about it. You get to enjoy that iconic freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. So you have to worry about any of the guild or massive sugar crash later on. It's the perfect portable pocket size summer companion to spark a tasty flavor sensation and give you that quick reliable energy boost wherever you go. All without melting in the heat like the old school treats. Right David?

[A]

I'm hooked. Listen, you will be too. Hooky up those taste buds with a Firework Freeze Flavored 5 Hour Energy Shot. Now available online at 5OurEnergy.com or Amazon. Well, I will tell you about the flight now that you're trying to pull it out of me.

[B]

So, okay, so you're okay, you're flying across the country a few days ago,

[A]

Going to New Jersey.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Cute flight. Not as far. Going that way. One hour shorter.

[B]

Yeah, I like that.

[A]

LA to New York. So we get there. Plus I have a ton of bags because, you know.

[B]

Yeah, it's just, you're.

[A]

It's going to be a while.

[B]

You're a movie star going to make. Shoot a big, giant Hollywood movie.

[A]

Of course you're going to tell me when I'm a movie star. No one was listening, so. Oh, my hair is shorter too. So anyway, I go, go, go. We get there, they go, we get all the way in the plane. Pilot comes out. Okay, guys, you know the feeling. If there's a comedian on, they juice it up a bit and the guy thinks he's on America's Got Talent.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yep, he comes. The pilot goes, I'll do this. When he goes, okay, folks, first of all, the first thing he says is, we're gonna be about an hour late. They're keeping us here in the Runway about an hour, we're gonna go to New Jersey, blah, blah. And I'm like, you can't just throw in there with no remorse. We're gonna be an hour late. We're not taking off for an hour. And he was too much. Joie de vivre and c' est la vie. And I was like, huh. So immediately I'm mad at him. And then he goes, well, we're gonna be heading to Newark, stopping in Bangkok. And his eyes dart to me and I'm like, gong, you're not going to Hollywood, sir. You know what I mean? He thinks he's gonna get the golden buzzer on that dog. He's got these jokes, you know, that

[B]

they, that they go, oh, yeah, the standard.

[A]

Yeah. But then they go, I gotta rev it up because there's a comedian here. I'll give him the A plus material. And I'm like, that's your good stuff. That's your closer.

[B]

Well, he's. He's in the cockpit though, right, doing this. He's out.

[A]

He walked out.

[B]

Oh, he's out with the thing going.

[A]

And he's staring at me going, okay,

[B]

sorry, I missed that. And so he's doing stand up basically in front of you.

[A]

He like took it from the person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Said, I got this, I got it. Hey, ladies and germs.

[B]

He goes, lays in germs and then does he look. Does he look at you?

[A]

He looks at me. Hey, Germ. No, that's. That's a big laugh line. I'm supposed to be like, you know, like, I'm a scout in the audience.

[B]

Yeah, he doesn't understand.

[A]

He doesn't understand. And he's so hilarious also. Then we go, and it's so stormy and bumpy, you'd hate it. Then we land.

[B]

I've been in those flights.

[A]

Yeah, we're circling. Heather's like, we're circling. Can you tell? I'm like, no. It make me sick.

[B]

Oh, in New Jersey.

[A]

Then we land, but we land in Dulles, like Die Hard.

[B]

Well, wait a minute.

[A]

But you're supposed to too stormy.

[B]

You divert.

[A]

You divert to Dulles again, you put a fine point on it. You made it very clear.

[B]

Well, you don't just end up. I mean, it's planned. Hopefully not that.

[A]

They said, we got to divert. We're going to Dulles. And I thought we were landing in New Jersey. I'm like, ah, snap.

[B]

So I go, that is a drag. You don't even have to make a story out of this one.

[A]

And then we go, we're gonna taxi, refuel, and get out of here. We taxi for maybe 30 minutes, then glug, glug, glug, glug. Refueling. And now how long would I think it would take to refuel? So they're up there kicking and scratching. I don't like that. Having the time of their lives. We're all dead silent. They're like, haha, by the way, please don't get up. Please don't stand up. Don't do anything on the Runway. Then they're goofing around, juggling up there. I'm like, can I stand up an inch? Like, sit down, Get. So then after tickling and playing Twister, I finally go, hey, any word on the gas? The guy goes, yeah, we're going to get right out of here after it's gassed up. I go, when's that? They go, when it's done. I go, when's that? And he goes, pretty soon.

[B]

What?

[A]

I'll kill you.

[B]

Does anyone else on the airplane but you? It feels like you're alone on the airplane.

[A]

I was close to the front.

[B]

Is there anything?

[A]

Looks to me like Bruce Willis, like, you're the boss, dude. Do something. Geez, you're the toughest one.

[B]

Why would they need what? So they're going to refuel to get you to New Jersey. Like 20 minute flight.

[A]

We're going to take a sip of Gas because you didn't run out. Going to even shorter than where we were going. But you know, I'm not dumb.

[B]

Something doesn't smart smell, right?

[A]

Yeah, that's the first thing. It didn't smell right in this trip.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then I go. Then he goes, we're taking off, sit down. Nothing. Nothing for 40 minutes. You would have flipped out.

[B]

We're taking off, sit down. And then you just did sits down.

[A]

I got crickets. That's when I start to go bananas. We finally okay. Whereas taxiing, I'm like, it took you 40 minutes to give the update. So we land at 1:30 in the morning and I have to work all day the next day. Far be it for me to complain.

[B]

No, I want to know when you left your house to when you walked in the hotel room. Because that's what I call. That's travel time. What was it about?

[A]

That was over 12 hours, right? Yeah. We left at 9am My house.

[B]

Yeah. I did a 13 to Miami.

[A]

Door to door.

[B]

Door to door.

[A]

Yeah. Then I walk in a pile of renews it and I was like this.

[B]

So you think you have a break. And then there's just this.

[A]

Yeah, I have a sensitive snout. And then I got up to go to the first thing which is an hour 15 away. And my neck. And I was all right. My neck is tough. But I was okay after that flight, my temper. I didn't flip out and my neck was okay. We worked all day till probably 6pm and then I had some food. Then I zonked.

[B]

Did you actually. Was it just testing again or did you actually shoot scenes?

[A]

No, no scenes. Then some rehearsals, some testing, some wardrobe, some. Then we had a read through yesterday and so there's just a lot going on.

[B]

Do you have a director yet?

[A]

No, now we do. We have Kyle. What is his last name? New check. And he's great guy. He came from Workaholics. He was directing, I think maybe came up with Workaholics with those guys. Okay, great, dude.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Just did Happy Gilmore jumping over here. He's got this one's kind of a lot of moving parts, if you can imagine.

[B]

So he did Happy Gilmore too. And now he's doing this one. Oh, that's nice, huh? It seems like a lot of moving parts. It's a cast of thousands.

[A]

I said you have a lot of moving parts. I'm the only one you need to worry about. Keep your eyes on me at all time. Eyes on the prize, Higgins.

[B]

What movie is that from?

[A]

That's just funny. I Don't know.

[B]

Oh, I don't know where. Higgins. I thought Steve Higgins or.

[A]

No, Higgins is me in the movie.

[B]

Oh, that's your name?

[A]

Yeah. I'll get you a link.

[B]

In the movie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Higgins. Can we talk about that?

[A]

Can we talk about it? Is it too late to change it from the first two movies?

[B]

What are you playing a billionaire hedge fund guy or what's.

[A]

Dana, growing up is part of the American fabric.

[B]

You're gonna have townies beat you guys up again or threaten you, I bet.

[A]

Don't guess ahead.

[B]

The fans wait for it.

[A]

No, I said we should put a nuclear bomb in it. Like Oppenheimer. That helped that movie. They're like, okay, these are all good suggestions. There's no bad ideas.

[B]

That one's call it Oppenh Upper.

[A]

Yeah. Called Floppenheimer.

[B]

It can't flop. It's on Netflix.

[A]

Wait, what was Todd Glass's joke about that? Oh, I cannot even think of it. I'll tell it next week, so tune in.

[B]

It's great that you have Oppenheimer jokes three years later. Do we have any Odyssey jokes or the Odyssey? No jokes.

[A]

I heard my favorite Zendaya is not in it a lot.

[B]

She's in plenty.

[A]

Okay. I don't. I'm hearing this in the streets.

[B]

She's like the ghost Queen. She's like, above everything. She rolls in and out, you know?

[A]

Are you gonna see Spider Man?

[B]

What do I. Do I look like someone's gonna see Spider Man? I don't know. The Marvel Universe and all that's. Lost my. Lost the thread a little bit. Is Robert Downey Jr. In it? Because I will watch that guy.

[A]

Bob Downey made an interesting move, which I personally don't love. I don't. I don't.

[B]

Bobby Downey.

[A]

I know. I Love Robert Downey Jr. Bob.

[B]

Just Bob.

[A]

As a friend. RDJ.

[B]

Yeah. And a peer.

[A]

And a peer. And someone that we both look up to each other, I think so. He was in the Avengers. He was Iron Man. For those of you that don't know. Yes, he played Iron Man.

[B]

He came in and played Iron man, but he wasn't really made of iron. He wore.

[A]

That's true. Johnny.

[B]

You wore an Iron Shoot. And that's how they.

[A]

Johnny really explained to the audience he's

[B]

not actually an Iron Man. He just. With the suit. He's. You could call him an Iron man

[A]

because he's wearing Bus Boys. It's funny because we go undercover at school. They go, how'd it go? And I go, I don't know. This kid called me low Iron man and. And they go. I go, I don't know why. And he goes, because you're a. And I go, oh, I knew it was negative. And he called me an iPhone.

[B]

Sound negative?

[A]

No, because I'm also. Why did. Because I was wired. That's right. I was trying to get information. I cannot give all the busboys away. Oh, it's going to Hulu, August 15th.

[B]

Oh, it is?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, you're going to a real.

[A]

Excuse me.

[B]

You're going. Oh, you're not just. You're going to a real streaming service or. I'm not saying it's shocking, but it's

[A]

going to be on Blippi. It's going to be on Squeep Squab, all the big ones.

[B]

Pluto will be the last place. It's on the Pluto Network.

[A]

I like. I say a joke about to be and they're like, they just sold to

[B]

be for a billion.

[A]

I'm like, that trash?

[B]

Really? Is that what's.

[A]

Well, every channel is worth a lot. What the fudge is going.

[B]

Everybody's a billionaire.

[A]

I can't stand it anyway.

[B]

Well, ma'. Am. Ma'.

[A]

Am.

[B]

Danny's going after billionaires in New York. If you have a second home in New York, he wants you to pay more tax.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I think it was. It was a bit of a stumble to post online all the people that have second homes and their addresses because, you know, you can't say after he says you should protest in the streets and then say that. I would be worried if I was a guy with that.

[B]

It's. It was a little weird, but yeah, I told you I'd do it and now I'm doing it.

[A]

So. Impression

[B]

I'm Man, Danny, if you don't do the impression, you just say the name. I'm ma'. Am. Danny.

[A]

I think it's mam. Donnie.

[B]

Be careful, David Spade, or I'll drop a tax bomb on you.

[A]

God damn. He really bombed it. But it was famous, a lot of famous people and said they're.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And I was like, oo.

[B]

Oo. That's dangerous. I don't know.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Just tax them. Don't.

[A]

I don't think you tax the.

[B]

Out of them, put them, walk them down the street tied together.

[A]

Who did I hear say something today? Oh, I shouldn't say it was a celebrity. It was a celebrity that we know that's been on here. Friend of the show. A friend of the show said, oh, I did this movie and I loved it. Because I made so much money, I got to buy my second and third house and I go, I don't think this is what you should tell the American people.

[B]

Yeah, it's, it's. It's expensive out there, I'll tell you that much.

[A]

I mean, most people can't even buy out. Like, it's just brutal.

[B]

No, buy a house, go out to dinner, everything, anything.

[A]

Get a slurpee.

[B]

It's amped up. Yeah. Buy some chapstick.

[A]

Jacked up to do basic stuff. You think?

[B]

I, I'm like, everything is so expensive in the.

[A]

He's a chef now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Everybody's a chef with you. David Spade. I loved your stink bomb story in the hotel room because I needed some sleep. Thank you so much.

[A]

Listen, there must have been a six pound stink bug I stepped on like a big as a kettlebell because it was the emitting of the. What else are they called? What are your faculties? There's other words for up there.

[B]

Oh, well, it was sort of.

[A]

What does it mean way up in your nose? Oh, there's another word I'm looking for.

[B]

Fauci would call it your nasal area.

[A]

Oh, your boy is in trouble.

[B]

Your nasal area. Yeah. On the advice of my attorney, I will invoke my right under the fifth amendment of the constitution to refrain from telling anything. Right now.

[A]

I'm not supposed to tell any lies. Gotta be careful.

[B]

A little bit of the rocky guy like this. I'm Tony Fauci and from the bottom of my all new leather, Fauci's. Go yourself.

[A]

Yeah. He was really on the. On the griddle, but he wasn't. Anything I want to hear. Say something.

[B]

Well, it just got to do the way. It's a constitution, David. It's his right.

[A]

I know, I heard that. Because he got amnesty. What did he get?

[B]

He got pardoned by Joe Biden.

[A]

So he pardoned.

[B]

That's a little bit of a gray area there since.

[A]

How about. Are you allowed to do an opening statement and still do the fifth? Go. Go.

[B]

That's all. That's all you get.

[A]

Oh, I'm asking you.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he did do an opening statement.

[A]

I'm saying, are you allowed to go?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

Yes. There are people in the Republican party that have an obsession with me.

[A]

Is that what he says?

[B]

Yeah, and they're just trying to get at me. I'm Tony Fauci.

[A]

What about.

[B]

We'll do it.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

Maybe we'll do them on our five Error Energy.

[A]

Oh, that's great. It's about to come out, I will say I was going to get a cheesesteak. And the recommendation was this little choke and puke down the street. And they go, it's great. The griddle has seasoning from 50 years. I go like a bathtub ring. What do you mean?

[B]

You didn't think it was a recipe from 50 years ago. You thought it was an actual product that was 50 years old from 50

[A]

years of seasoning, of just cooking on it over and over and over and putting. I'm like, that's your big pitch?

[B]

Do you ever think that you're kind of seeking trouble because it seems like everything that could go wrong goes wrong? Yeah, we gotta get. Get a movie and just. David Spade is the victim. Mr. Well, the airplane ride was a mofo.

[A]

The stone game. It kills me to complain. It goes against everything.

[B]

You're not really complaining, you're reporting.

[A]

Yeah, thank you.

[B]

Let me, let me ask this guy. David complaining.

[A]

That's somebody. No, no.

[B]

David Spade doesn't pay his fair share, but his stories were true. Also with the griddle. 50 years old. He shouldn't have had a ham sandwich from that place. By the way, I talk a lot like Tony Fauci right now.

[A]

No complaints. No complaints.

[B]

Don't proceed. It's the million lesson. You're a millionaire. Oh, it's the billionaires. You're almost a billion subject.

[A]

They always come out. You. You're a billion. You fly private.

[B]

Don't twist it all around. Guess the biggest private jet guy was Al Gore. I don't blame him. That's a wonderful thing to do. I've talked to pilots.

[A]

I love to fly.

[B]

I like to fly. Oh, by myself on a private jet. They call it private because just me. Then I buy offsets. They plant trees. They don't get your B in a bonnet.

[A]

Yeah, I have to fly to save the climate.

[B]

Now that. Yes, that's it. Yeah, some CO2 is good. By the way, we have more green plants on earth than it ever in the history of the Earth.

[A]

How dare you?

[B]

How dare you?

[A]

Greta Thunberg.

[B]

I know, I like her. I love her.

[A]

Let's bring her on a sitcom. By now it would be called the Crabby Little Girl.

[B]

How dare you?

[A]

How dare you

[B]

Title how dare you. Welcome Greta Thunberg. And how dare you? How dare you?

[A]

It's an SNL game show.

[B]

Yeah. Who plays Greta Thunberg? Sarah Silverman or no, Sarah Sherman. All the Sarahs.

[A]

Dude. I said funniest burn today because it was some girl sits on a log and she, she Falls backwards down a hill and her pants fall down her knees, and the log rolls over and. And it's. They're all cracking up. It's ridiculous. And I go, sarah, was this your SNL audition? Burn. So awesome. Spade. Good job.

[B]

Good job. You're a good friend to Sarah.

[A]

Okay, do you. Let's do five hour because it's getting that time. It's around that time.

[B]

Oh, I gotta read it. I gotta read it.

[A]

Heather, Heather, Heather.

[B]

Oh, the intro.

[A]

Until I get prepped. Who's Cam? Cam from Busboys Cam?

[B]

Yeah, from snl, too.

[A]

Cam Patterson. Yeah. Yeah, more from that. Yeah, more from snl. I think he said something. One of his jokes was. He said, theo is dumber than JFK after the first bullet. Remember that? These jokes won't be on a sitcom.

[B]

Going for the. Going for the. For the family audience. Yeah, it's great.

[A]

No, no, you're a beautiful, intelligent woman.

[B]

It's funny because you're not supposed to say it, so you say it and then people laugh. It's. It's taboo.

[A]

Who are we talking to? Oh, Tony Hale, that loves watching bloopers on Instagram from different shows. I know, it's so fun. I was watching Seinfeld and Julia. Louise. Laughing all the time is so funny. And, you know, they. They're all. It's so fun. Okay, I wish I could talk about

[B]

that, because this is the deal.

[A]

It's time for buzzing around. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor. Ignite your taste buds with a red, white, blue freezer. Pop Classic. Reimagine as a delicious firework freeze. Five hour energy shot. Find firework freeze shot. Five hour energy [e-mail] or Amazon. Today, Dana will be doing a scenario, a fictitious one. Don't think it's real.

[B]

I don't know if it's.

[A]

Please don't think it's real. At home, he's just making up jokes.

[B]

Just making up jokes. It's nothing. That really is happening.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

But I already kind of gave away my joke that made me laugh. Okay, this is. Who did. Oh, you already gave it away a little bit. Well, this is Tony Fauci now having dinner with Christopher Walken. And then Lauren Michaels comes in.

[A]

Oh, I love it already. Okay, sh. Every quiet in the set. Go.

[B]

Tony. Tony, do you like tomatoes? On the advice of my attorney, I invoke my Fifth Amendment right under the Constitution and frame rather in question. Wow. Do you like avocados? On the advice of my attorney, I invoke on the fifth amendment of the constitution. Frame from Ransom. Your question. What's up, everybody? Tony, how are you? Would. Would you guys like to split some calamari? And then you read it? On the advice of my attorney.

[A]

Constitution. That's close.

[B]

Good. In the constitution.

[A]

Hey, I do like app.

[B]

I do like octopus. Tony, what about doing as a joke. What? Why did the chicken cross the road?

[A]

That's what he should have started doing in the hearing.

[B]

I thought. I thought people had a hard time understanding me, but this takes it to a whole level. Now. Excuse me, I got to go make some more girl scout cookies.

[A]

Cookies with Lauren said Anthony host first show this season, maybe first show you're going to be with the Goo Goo Dolls. We'll pair you with the Goo Goo Dolls.

[B]

I think it's a pretty good show, Anthony. The richer you get, the more sort of casual and relaxed and you get very quiet. I think maybe we should have some sourdough rolls.

[A]

Yeah, buddy.

[B]

On the advice of my kid, can

[A]

you send me in Fauci some. Do you have churros? Churros are.

[B]

Churros are like a little rolled up thing.

[A]

Mexican like dessert.

[B]

On the advice of my churros. This is.

[A]

He got it mixed up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that red? Red necky.

[B]

Red, red. Nikki, the redneck comedian. That's right.

[A]

Did you make up a red necky?

[B]

Well, I just. I did. I had AI do this character.

[A]

You did the character? And AI goes, I know what you're looking for.

[B]

Yeah, I just described it. I'm red. Red neck either. Now everything sounds like Fauci. Now it's a problem for people.

[A]

Red, redneck. He's like red, red Nicky. Yeah, sort of.

[B]

Let's see. I'm red. Rednecky, redneck comedian. My. Ah. My.

[A]

My.

[B]

My foot got caught in the lawnmower. I'm with the doctor. They said, we gotta amputate your left foot. I said, can I keep my right foot? They said, yeah. I said, come and get some.

[A]

It's not even a show.

[B]

Well, because he's. The thing is, he's so positive. No, whatever ever happens. I asked my daddy, what's for dinner? He said, on a shingle? I said, this day just keeps getting better and better.

[A]

Yeah, on a shingle. I think my dad used to say that too. That's a good one.

[B]

Yeah, that's a World War II thing. I asked my mama, what's for dinner? She said, roadkill. I said, what kind?

[A]

She.

[B]

She said, oh, I guess I'll go check the bumper gardvark. Come and get some. Are we still doing five Hour Energy?

[A]

No, it's over. Oh, yeah. That was buzzing around. Sponsored by five Hour Energies Firework Freeze flavor. The iconic red, white and blue freezer Pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark a taste flavor Sensation with Firework Freeze 5. Our energy shots available [e-mail] and Amazon. Today I just moved Dana and I know.

[B]

Tell us.

[A]

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[B]

Now I get the feeling crawling into bed is the best part of my day because the fabric actually get softer every time I wash it. It completely transformed how I rest.

[A]

Upgrade your sleep with bowl and Branch. Get 15 off your first order plus free shipping at bowlandbranch.com fly with code fly. That's Boland Branch. B O L L A N D B R- A N C H.com fly code fly to unlock 15% off exclusions apply. Listen, you guys know how much I love multitasking. That's what everyone's always stopping me and asking me about. Lately, my secret weapon's been Amazon Music. I used to jump in between three different apps to get through my day because I'm weird. But now Amazon Music is my 1 app for music podcasts and audiobooks. Yes, you heard it right. Your Amazon Music unlimited subscription now includes access to audiobooks, meaning it does so much more for you without any extra hassle.

[B]

Dana, I've been listening while walking the dog, tackling that endless mountain of laundry, and it's just.

[A]

You're always doing the laundry.

[B]

I. I do loads and loads of it all day.

[A]

Sundays.

[B]

Yeah, Sunday's laundry day. Boo. I got 55 of these, and it just fits perfectly into my routine. I recently queued up project Hail Mary, which was a great movie, but great to listen to, too. Hearing the story come to life in the narrator's voice completely transformed my afternoon chores into an epic space adventure. Jealous?

[A]

Yeah. It's amazing how a great voice performance makes the story feel so special and immersive. And the best part is that you don't need a separate app to dive into your next favorite story. It's all seamlessly integrated right where you already listen. Amazon music is definitely my favorite part of my routine. Music, podcasts, audiobooks, it's all in one app.

[B]

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[A]

You know, it's an all in one platform that flexes as you grow, allowing you to scan bills to pay them instantly, set up recurring payments and see exactly where your business stands right from your dashboard. Instead of duct taping multiple tools together, you can curb spend before it happens. With customer user permissions and built in spend management. Visit mercury.com to learn more and apply online in minutes. Mercury is a fintech company, not an FDIC insured bank. Banking services provided through Choice Financial Group and column NA members. Fdic. Oh, sorry, I'm yawning. I'm on east coast time.

[B]

I think you're doing. After hearing your story.

[A]

I know, right?

[B]

I think you're bringing it really good today because.

[A]

And I was really preening and peacocking to the camera test today.

[B]

I mean I'm out there working on the farm at 5:30, so it's a

[A]

little late for me poking bales of hay with a pitchfork.

[B]

So the flight lasts 13 hours and then you have a stink bomb in the hotel. You try to get a bite to eat. The grill's 50 years old. Is that what you say?

[A]

That's a good summary, Piers. That's really.

[B]

Remind me never to travel with you.

[A]

Remind me never to listen to this shit again. No, but let's go to some news stories. We got a few minutes.

[B]

Oh my God, we haven't even had a story yet.

[A]

No, I know. Sorry.

[B]

Okay. On the advice of.

[A]

Okay. Oh, this. Oh, Heather's reading ahead. Arsonist cuts off penis, then uses it to start a blazing neighbor's garage.

[B]

Cops. That's the cops.

[A]

Well, what could have happened here, Dana? And they use it as a match

[B]

I mean, who hasn't tried this? I mean, most men. This is sort of some.

[A]

Of course, every crazy person has better hair than me. God dang it.

[B]

You. Do you ever notice that homeless people do have great heads of hair?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, because they're always dropping their pants.

[A]

I know. They're showing off.

[B]

I don't know what this story is. Cuts off penis. You want to read this out loud?

[A]

Was a bunch of junk. A firebird in Indiana cut off his own wean, dumped gasoline on it, and

[B]

uses his wiener to start a blaze.

[A]

God, where's the hoa?

[B]

This is going to grab the audience and hold them.

[A]

By the way, I thought red. Rednecky was skinnier.

[B]

Yeah, I got that. I got that message. I actually, you know what?

[A]

That too.

[B]

Red. Red necky can be skinnier.

[A]

Yeah, you know, just. It's still in the early stages.

[B]

Yes, I'm gonna. Here's what you do, is you put in your 10, 15 red, red necky jokes. To Claude, you say, give me a thousand jokes.

[A]

Freaking Claude, Claude. Someone told me to get clawed. I was like, I don't know. It's like the vaccine. I'm gonna wait, get more information.

[B]

Yeah, the vaccine was overrated. I mean, I did it, but I

[A]

had to get the vaccine within seconds. Or I couldn't go to my agents, or I couldn't go on the set of my job. I couldn't fly. Okay, what's the next story? Let's see. Turned.

[B]

Turn the regular club into the Turtle Club. An insane character I did in Master Disguise.

[A]

Heather, look at. They put the turtles in the audience.

[B]

What? I like that they use the turtle. Just occasionally it comes in. Yeah, like that. What?

[A]

Turtle Club Man.

[B]

Oh, all right, all right. I'm just thinking that's a compliment. We should talk to Happy Madison. Either do a cartoon called Turtle Man.

[A]

Oh, that would be good.

[B]

And he's a private detective, and his car looks like a turtle.

[A]

Does this woman work here?

[B]

What voice is that?

[A]

I'm showing you a picture.

[B]

Am I not turtley enough for turtle Club? Drop.

[A]

Drop.

[B]

It was weird when I was doing that character. It was so weird that I had the thing on. I'm a turtle. Turtle. And then I do a take and I go to Video Village for you kids where all the people are there, and they're just. They're looking down as I come in. I'm not kidding. It was like a Morgan there. I mean, you know, seriously, it was like somebody died. Because they didn't know it would be a huge, huge hit.

[A]

They didn't know my poly market. I didn't pick the turtle club today. Would have won quite a fortune. A bit of a smidge of a fortune.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My kid through school.

[B]

I. Yeah, I think it's time.

[A]

I like turtle. Okay, let's do that.

[B]

Okay, here we go. I was cool that.

[A]

That we give a summary. That was cool.

[B]

I. I dug it.

[A]

Oh, I think, oh, this is fine, Dana. This is a girl that got bullied. And I like this because her mom helps her and goes, I'm going to feed you the bully lines. And then you. Okay, People are calling you. That's probably help you give a comeback.

[B]

Okay, I like that.

[A]

She's very cute.

[B]

Ugly.

[A]

Okay, I. I told the barbers, no, it started too late. Okay, I told my hairdresser to give me your cut. That's a good one. You're a gap tooth. Oh, my God. Okay. You're ugly little rat. Okay, she can't. God, her mom's the meanest. Okay, I. I told you have the worst haircut. And she goes, okay, I. I went to your barber. And the guy goes, barber.

[B]

I think that she seems like the coolest kid. I don't know if she needs the training.

[A]

Why would she get picked on? She's like the funniest.

[B]

Why is she getting picked on?

[A]

I like that she's not super sad about it because they're trying to coach her and she's like. Just laughs because it's like it throws her. Because she goes, you're a buck tooth beaver. And she's like, okay, like, mom, let's start with a few softballs first.

[B]

We gotta find out what the attack line is before we go to something.

[A]

Your mom was going in hard and she's like. I think that's why she laughed. She's like, well, that was a bit more than I thought was coming.

[B]

I think the basic classic from my childhood, I don't know about you, was, I know you are, but what am I?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you are. What am I?

[B]

Yeah. Hey. They'd be like, hey, hey, spade. You're an idiot.

[A]

I know you are. What am I? No, I know you are, but did you have something about me?

[B]

Was there another one in there? I know you are. I'm rubber. You're a glue. What you say to me sticks to you.

[A]

Yeah. There was. Why don't you make me? I go, I don't make trash. I burn it.

[B]

This was my childhood with three older brothers who would bully me and be like, cut it out. Cut it out.

[A]

Quit punching me.

[B]

Stop it. Did your brothers ever hold you down and then spit and have the spit going all the way? Sorry.

[A]

I don't know why they got too much joy out of it. It definitely. I don't like being held. I don't think anyone does but pin down with my brother slipping it up. Which is not an exact science because sometimes he just spits on me.

[B]

At least you didn't get the whiskers. Your dad never came back and held you down with a two week growth and rubbed his face on your prepubescent face.

[A]

No, but my grandma used to go, you feel this bikini wax on your face? I go, I went to Kidding.

[B]

It's a mega bush. I went to grandma's.

[A]

How did you not?

[B]

Well, I was thinking ahead but let me. Give me a second.

[A]

What happened to grandma?

[B]

I went to her medicine cabin. I'm like 10. It was like even I knew dried Jesus. I was like. So then she's like. And she was a chain smoker and then she some. She had some tea. So she took the tea that you dip into the teabag and tried to light it.

[A]

Ah, crazy person grandma. Cuz she's on. So I like you open the medicine cabinets, a hundred things.

[B]

It's like Hydra Gonga Geo.

[A]

I know.

[B]

God bless her. You know she needed a little. She needed a little extra juice to get by.

[A]

Let's throw one more. One or two more. We'll see. There's. There's a leaner one in here somewhere. This is it. Katy Perry gets stuck inside giant. Oh, this is a giant bottle. She makes a big goofy bottle in her concert that she can't get out. She's crowd surfing in her body.

[B]

I love this. Now she's trying to get out.

[A]

Yeah, she's stuck. What?

[B]

Well it looks like a condom, doesn't it?

[A]

Does anyone have a bottle opener? Yeah, I. Yeah, that could be. It could be the intestines of a whale. I don't. She. I would start to get scared because she can't roll it. No one's pushing her.

[B]

Well, they don't really see her. I don't know. I mean what was this considered a home run as you do it all the time. It was a stunt gone wrong they're saying.

[A]

I think it's like crowd surfing but safer. They put you in like a, a circle.

[B]

Oh. And then put you out amongst everyone. And you're inside this place not going

[A]

along with the rehearsal where they're supposed to pass her along like stage and she's like oh. They're just Guys, I stalled out here. Okay?

[B]

One, I've rarely done that. I mean, you've tried it some of your gigs. 2. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, this is kind of sad when

[B]

this just happened to Brad and now Tom Cruise. Oh, his daughter changing his last name. Her last name?

[A]

Yeah. Huh. That's a bummer. But listen, she gave an excuse, which I think is, I would guess, a bluff, but I do think it's nice she at least said an excuse.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I to pursue acting without relying.

[B]

I don't have enough information to have an opinion. I use that phrase a lot. But I, she could change. She can change her name. But I think the, you know, just, it's hard to really erase yourself now and really change your name and have no one know where it came from.

[A]

Right? I mean, people, especially in la, if you're related to anyone, everyone just goes, oh, see that, that guy's dad invented mothballs, you know? And you're like, oh, I've heard of them. Yeah, he's super rich. Like, everyone is introduced or talked about and they have to drop in.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And I rich about you.

[B]

She seems, she's a really appears to be a really sweet young woman. But I would just say that if you do want to change your identity secretly, maybe you wouldn't post it globally.

[A]

Globally. I don't know if she posted her new name. Her new name is Pitt

[B]

and her middle name is Brad.

[A]

Yeah, I'm siree. Brad Pitt.

[B]

Hey, I'm just going to say this right now because people literally have asked me this occasionally. Is Spade your real last name?

[A]

Oh, I have heard that. You know, I, I, this comes up. But when we live and Chris Rock said, people think we both made up our last name.

[B]

Chris Rock as well.

[A]

Show busy. Yeah, I see.

[B]

Too cool. Too cool.

[A]

Best thing my dad did give me a cool name and then split. But I liked it. I like the name.

[B]

Oh, it works. It's great.

[A]

Now, would I like a hug also?

[B]

Anyway, would you like. Oh, okay. Oh, we're going there. Okay.

[A]

Just looking at my gum collection. My hand and I'm a little light.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Dana.

[A]

Should we end it on that whimper?

[B]

I'm fine with it.

[A]

You need dates. Oh, you want another one?

[B]

All right, we'll do one more.

[A]

Oh, this is just, I think Israel. Maybe it's a fake way of looking fake. But when you see disaster movies and how they make them.

[B]

Okay, cool. That's the shot. Keep rolling. Stay on the tower.

[A]

If you do that in slow motion, it looks. And you have enough angles. Looks for sure.

[B]

Real well, it's a little bit going back to Odyssey where it. It, you know, it is water, it is waves. It's flowing in there. And there's model. A model city. So, yeah, usually you could do it with AI, but you know, look pretty cool.

[A]

And if people think that's AI, then we're really fucked. I'm like, you're faking the fake stuff. Like, come on, come on.

[B]

So I can't believe you can just maybe tell us or not tell us, but where are they going to use that in grown ups 3?

[A]

No, that's not in grown ups 3? No, I cannot tell you. One minuscule molecule. No. We were doing camera tests. I took a picture of somebody because I thought was funny and they go, don't post that. I go, relax, I'm not some thirsty poster. Or am I?

[B]

Once with the flirtation, I like to

[A]

go to the camera because I have to look down to look at you on it. But I want to look up into the lens like a normal person.

[B]

No, that gives you. Because you do that sometimes. Like, I'd be like, hey, David, what's up?

[A]

I know it's funny. I love it. Okay, well, I'll let you go.

[B]

Thanks, David. You're a trooper. Based on what you put up with this week to come in and do the podcast, I thought we'd have.

[A]

Yes. I owe it to the fans. I think they freak out if I wasn't here.

[B]

I think you do.

[A]

But thanks for playing along.

[B]

Thanks for.

[A]

See you next week.

[B]

Good night, everybody.

[A]

All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click, follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddamn button on your favorite podcast app. Leave a review. A good one. Leave a five star rating, nothing else.

[B]

Whoops.

[A]

And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do think?

[B]

You think I'm gonna tell you this right now? Hear me now, believe me later. Fly on the Wall, Believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by. Hold for it, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman and Leah Rhys Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil Sweettech Talent Production and booking by Sophia Lepore.