Jim Carrey Conspiracy, Lamar Odom’s Cocaine Summers, & Amanda Seyfried’s Prosthetic WHAT?!

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: Jim Carrey Conspiracy, Lamar Odom’s Cocaine Summers, & Amanda Seyfried’s Prosthetic WHAT?!
Date: March 9, 2026
Hosts: Dana Carvey & David Spade

Episode Overview

This episode of Fly on the Wall is classic Carvey and Spade: comedic banter, celebrity impressions, showbiz gossip, and a healthy dose of absurdity. The main through-lines are the rumor mill swirling around Jim Carrey’s recent public appearance (and wild conspiracy theories about celebrity “clones”), a trove of quirky news stories (from Lamar Odom’s legendary “cocaine summers” to Amanda Seyfried’s prosthetic butthole), plus stand-up war stories and SNL shop talk. The duo’s chemistry is front and center, with tangential jokes, inside Hollywood stories, and their signature impressionist riffs.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Physical Gross-out Humor and the Fictional “Goiter” Movie

(02:24 – 05:18)

• The guys riff on what’s grosser: boils, goiters, or pustules.
• Memorable moment: They pitch a fake horror movie called The Goiter starring Timothy Chalamet, Benicio Del Toro, and Bradley Cooper.
• [02:42] Dana: “I knew that was coming.”
• [05:13] Spade: “The goiter. They make the goiter lovable.”

2. Fast Food Fame & Drive-thru Stories

(07:02 – 09:30)

• Dana and David share stories about being recognized in fast food joints.
• Spade talks about being asked if he was in Benchwarmers at McDonald’s; Carvey gets asked if he knows David Spade.
• [09:02] Dana (on being recognized): “You do a podcast with him, but do you know him?”

3. Jim Carrey Conspiracy at the Caesar Awards

(11:01 – 13:26)

• The big internet debate: Was Jim Carrey actually at the Caesar Awards in Paris, or was it some kind of imposter or mask-wearing lookalike?
• Spade investigates and confirms with Carrey that he was truly there; both hosts joke about “Mission Impossible” masks and the culture of Hollywood facial tweaks.
• [11:39] Spade: “His face looked a little more circular… is it him or is it not?”
• [12:59] Dana: (mocking social media doubt) “Don’t, don’t, don’t, can’t tell, not sure, not sure—it’s a mask. Don’t, don’t, can’t tell.”

4. Jim Carrey’s Legacy & SNL’s Impact

(21:10 – 23:38)

• Both hosts reflect on Carrey’s genius, especially his transformational work in Ace Ventura and physical comedy that “created a new idea of being a comedian on screen.”
• [21:28] Dana: “No one else could have been in that role… he created this new idea of hyper-reality, so committed.”
• Spade confirms Carrey is “just Jim” and debunks the internet gossip.

5. SNL Shop Talk: Cut-for-Time & Edgy Skits

(24:42 – 27:19)

• Discussion of an SNL sketch that didn’t air (“Celebrity Tourette’s”): how skits get cut, the etiquette, and how YouTube has changed what gets seen.
• [25:43] Dana: “Those things on the surface are funny, but if you look too deep about Tourette’s… yes, it’s a little offensive.”
• [27:02] Spade: “I’m so jealous… now sketches cut for time live on YouTube.”

6. Comedy Club Life & Larry “Bubbles” Brown

(28:37 – 31:17)

• The guys talk about recent live gigs; Dana “crushed,” Spade destroyed, and their opener, cult comic Larry “Bubbles” Brown, gets a plug.
• Discuss the origin of Brown’s nickname and share green room and road anecdotes.
• [30:53] Spade: “I know I do like to get bubbled up. Never heard that term in my life.”

7. Trump Impressions & The Snack Cake Analogy

(32:43 – 34:50)

• Carvey improvises a Trump speech filled with absurd Hostess snack cake metaphors.
• [33:22] Dana (as Trump): “He’s a vicious ding dong pig head… He’s a moist cookie, a honey bun.”

8. LA Pharmacy Crime Rant

(35:01 – 38:48)

• Hilarious frustrations over everything being locked up in LA pharmacies—even shampoo and Q-tips.
• [36:02] Spade: “If you have to lock up the toothpicks, folks, I think we’re losing the battle against crime.”
• [37:19] Dana: “The pharmacy had like an army man… I just want a Cadbury bar, so I’ve got a Glock 45 in my face.”

9. News Bites: Onions, Farts in a Jar, and Chopping Broccoli

(47:03 – 49:08)

• They tackle silly news:
  • Woman sends ex 1,000 lbs of onions (“definitely fake”)
  • “Fart in a jar” as the ultimate cheap gift
  • Dana did an acoustic “Chopping Broccoli” at a gig (callback to his iconic SNL bit)

10. Lamar Odom, Drug Confessions & SNL What-Ifs

(49:08 – 53:19)

• Jokingly analyze Lamar Odom’s claim: “I’d be in the Hall of Fame if not for my great cocaine summers.”
• Bant about SNL “hall of fame” status and the merit of cast party costumes.

11. Amanda Seyfried’s Prosthetic Butthole

(54:00 – 55:24)

• The crowning “WHAT?!” headline: Amanda Seyfried wore a prosthetic butthole for her new film. The duo speculate wildly; the details are thin, but the jokes are thick.
• [54:09] Spade: “There’s her with her regular butthole. That’s just her.”
• [55:13] Carvey: “She got most realistic butthole.”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [13:26] Spade (debunking Carrey conspiracy): “Can’t, can’t, can’t, don’t know, can’t tell… Not a mask, not a mask, not a mask.”
• [21:25] Carvey: “I turned down Ace Ventura… but Jim Carrey was way better than anyone else could have been.”
• [30:54] Spade: “I know I do like to get bubbled up. Never heard that term in my life.”
• [33:22] Carvey as Trump: “He’s a divicious Ding Dong pig head with… He’s a moist cookie. He’s a honey bun. He’s moist and soft with cinnamon.”
• [36:02] Spade: “If you have to lock up the toothpicks, folks, I think we’re losing the battle against crime.”
• [54:13] Carvey: “She did get best butthole. She got most realistic butthole.”

---

Impression Fest: “Buzzing Around”

(41:03 – 45:08)

• The segment features Carvey’s parade of impressions (Travolta, John Kennedy, Bob Dylan, Michael Caine, Timothy Chalamet, Burgess Meredith) all stuck on a life raft, arguing over how to paddle to Fiji.
• Mashup of nonsense, commitment to character, and pure improv zaniness.
• [44:34] Carvey as Kennedy: “Did I wake up one morning—this is what you call a madhouse. Your words, not mine!”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:24 – 05:18 Gross-out riff & “The Goiter” movie pitch
• 07:02 – 09:30 Fast food fame encounters
• 11:01 – 13:26 Jim Carrey conspiracy theories
• 21:10 – 23:38 Jim Carrey praise and SNL’s ethos
• 24:42 – 27:19 SNL cut-for-time discussions
• 28:37 – 31:17 Comedy gigs, Larry "Bubbles" Brown, and “being bubbled up”
• 32:43 – 34:50 Trump as Hostess pastries
• 35:01 – 38:48 LA pharmacy crime rant
• 41:03 – 45:08 “Buzzing Around” – life raft impressions
• 47:03 – 49:08 News bites: onions, fart in a jar, Chopping Broccoli
• 49:08 – 53:19 Lamar Odom, drugs & SNL what-ifs
• 54:00 – 55:24 Amanda Seyfried’s prosthetic butthole headlines

---

Tone & Style

The episode is a whirlwind: self-deprecating, irreverent, inside-joke laden, and improv-heavy. Dana and David riff effortlessly, performing celebrity impressions, skewering headline absurdities, and dropping behind-the-scenes comedy insights. They lean into both the crude (bodily functions, prosthetic body parts) and the high-concept (mask conspiracy theories, celebrity culture), sometimes in the same breath.

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Summary

If you love comedy, impressions, or seeing the bitterly funny side of Hollywood and pop culture, this episode is a gold mine. The blend of industry commentary, rapid-fire bits, and ridiculous headlines produces a podcast that’s equal parts SNL writers’ room, green room backstage, and tabloid recap. Throw in “bubbling up,” locked-up LA pharmacies, Trump pastries, and prosthetic buttholes, and you’ve got a singularly unfiltered hour with two comedy icons.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Look at these.

[B]

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[B]

I like the goiter.

[A]

The goiter.

[B]

The black guy will not eat the

[A]

and then the white guy will.

[B]

No, the white guy, he will.

[A]

I know everyone here is praising you. They like Wayne's World. But I ain't tapping your tummy.

[B]

I'm not gonna spank your Spanker.

[A]

I knew that was coming.

[B]

What do you got going on down there? We might trim the hedges a bit.

[A]

And then she says, do you know Joe Dirt?

[B]

This one has a die. Whatever that means.

[A]

Oh, your call.

[B]

No, I'll explain to the viewers. I'm very authentic.

[A]

Yeah, you got a sty, which is another word for pink eye, I believe.

[B]

No, it's not, Dana.

[A]

No, it is that. You got Pink guy.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

You got pink K. No. What is his style?

[B]

I haven't been around that many buttholes.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Remember, Dana, last week I was saying, it looks like I have that Tom Cruise eye down there. I think it's part of it still, because it looks like a little swollen. Do I put these on? Do I dare be fucking cool?

[A]

Why not? But where's my sunglasses? Maybe I should get.

[B]

No, but will I. You can keep that beginning where I say about my style. Here's the grossest thing, Dana. No one wants to be near you because it's contagious. Well, it's not, but they think it is. And then they're also sickened by me and disgusted. And here's the four grossest words you can say about yourself to chase the female population. 4. Okay, one sty is 4. That's not the worst one, but it's disgusting. Right then. Oh, I have a boil.

[A]

A boil?

[B]

Yeah, that's a bad word. Needs to be drained.

[A]

I've got one. I have a goiter.

[B]

Goiter is maybe number one.

[A]

And the goiter has a human face on the end of it. That's a turn off.

[B]

What do you think is grosser goiter or pustule?

[A]

I think goiter. It feels like a monster. I. You know, it feels like a sci fi movie. Pustule. You put a band aid on it. What do you put on a goiter?

[B]

A goiter should be a poster of a bad movie. You write a scary movie.

[A]

Goiter. Yeah. Timothy Chalamet is hunting down the goiter.

[B]

Benicio Del Toro is the goiter. Bradley Cooper as the goiter's friend.

[A]

He played the Elephant man on Broadway. Now he's on film playing. Did he really goiter? I thought he did. No, no. You can't step on anything on a podcast. The goiter.

[B]

I like the goiter.

[A]

The go goiter.

[B]

They make the goiter lovable.

[A]

Let me set you up. Let me set you up for one of your top fives. Jason Stratham is hunting the goiter in the motion picture called the Goiter. I'm the goiter keeper. Destroyer what, is he gonna take it as a pet?

[B]

No, he's the. Oh. Oh, well, he was the beekeeper, and he keeps bees. Maybe he keeps goiters.

[A]

Oh, I'm coming after you, goiter. You.

[B]

You got pus on my family.

[A]

Do we know what a goiter is?

[B]

I don't know. I think it's a. I think it squirts out like a gazette.

[A]

It feels.

[B]

Oh, Heather gave me a chart, and it has Fisher.

[A]

Yeah, but with those cool sunglasses, you can't read it. I feel like a goiter has a human head on it. You can look cool or you can really participate in the podcast. You can't do both. You can't see dick. Oh, that's.

[B]

That's not a goiter. That's a fish.

[A]

That's a fish, but. What?

[B]

It's G O I. G O I T E T E R. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Geez.

[A]

Geez Louise.

[B]

That's not a. I didn't know I was at court.

[A]

Here we are. Be prepared to be. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. Look at that. Look at the. On the neck.

[A]

The neck. Oh, you need a turtleneck for that. Oh, yeah, it's a swollen neck. Or it can be the side, or I think it can be anywhere in your body.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And guess what happens if you puncture it.

[B]

Dr. Pimple Popper comes with that Wendy's salad sneeze guard stuff around her.

[A]

Does Wendy's have a salad bar? I haven't been there in a decade.

[B]

I used to go. It has a sneeze guard on it.

[A]

Well, I'm kind of amazed at the burger franchises that don't do advertising and still exist.

[B]

They crush it. I know.

[A]

I don't understand.

[B]

Number one guy, I'm still so Joe Dirt. I. I go to drive throughs. I go in a lot.

[A]

You go in a lot? I go in there dressed as Joe Dirt. I'm just.

[B]

No, just that I'm a dirt ball. I go in.

[A]

I like the drive through, you know?

[B]

And then you do little characters to it.

[A]

Yeah, I do little impressions and characters. I want them to recognize me. No, I. I get this When I'm tired and I'm driving, it's the only time I go to McDonald's. Regular cheeseburger, small fries, small coke, and that carb. Salty sugary bomb gets me 200 miles safely.

[B]

Yeah. They think it's that baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Is there an adult in the car that wants anything?

[A]

Well, it's just. It's just me. And if they don't have what I want, I Just. I kind of go,

[B]

Oh, Heather. And I know what that is. That's hysterical. Okay.

[A]

Oh, I should have went like this. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

All right, well, before I tell you what that is, which. We know what that is, but I was at McDonald's, and, you know, Dana, when you go in and they know you, it. They get distracted from the order. So I go, quarter pound with cheese, fried. And they go, oh, were you in Bench Formers? And I go, yeah, and we'll talk about that. Let's just get this order in. And then at the end, I get the order and it's wrong. I go, I. I didn't order spaghetti. You know, but I don't say anything.

[A]

I go in and they go, hey, were you. Were you on television or are you somebody? And then. And then I go, yeah. And they go, do you know David Spade? That.

[B]

Get that a lot.

[A]

Do you know him?

[B]

You do a podcast with him, but do you know him?

[A]

I was once in a movie theater, and they kind of tagged me, and then they came and got me and brought me out into the foyer, and they said, hey, do you know Adam Sandler?

[B]

That's a big one.

[A]

That's a big one. This was a while back, but he still had. He still had, you know, hit. Hit after hit.

[B]

I had a fun dinner with Chris Rock, and Adam was not. Adam was coming. And then he goes, oh, wait, I thought it was Friday. It's tomorrow. I go, no, we're already here. And he's like, oh, no. So Chris is like, spade, it's just me and you.

[A]

And did it get awkward? Did it get quiet? Or.

[B]

Can you guys convince we had nothing to say to each other? No, Chris is one of. He is pretty funny, as we know. That's an understatement.

[A]

Yeah, well, he's got that. He's got that thing of, like. He likes to take a big subject, and he's brilliant at it. A big giant thing. And then he'll just drop in like this simplification that sums the whole big giant thing up. You gotta have material or whatever it is on stage. You know, that's his. His cool move.

[B]

I almost said a joke, but it's too dirty. I'm trying to.

[A]

We can cut it

[B]

when he says everything twice. The black guy don't eat the. The black guy will not eat the pussy.

[A]

And then go. The white guy will.

[B]

No, the white guy.

[A]

He will.

[B]

Everything's twice.

[A]

I know.

[B]

He funny.

[A]

Well, he says before he starts a special, if he takes time off from stand up, he. He watches Evangelical preachers and they go, and the Lord cares about you. The stage is 300ft wide. Walk to the other side.

[B]

He's like a panther.

[A]

Lord cares about.

[B]

Yeah, they do repeat also. But he's good. He's got a good style and super funny in real life, which is really the hard part. And he is. Oh, this brings us to Jim Carrey, the big debate. Jim Carrey at the Caesar Awards in Paris. It's like the Oscars for them. And he got a much deserved was a lifetime achievement award.

[A]

Didn't Jerry Lewis get that? I mean, the French love physical comedy. I'm not sure what he got, but it was big. I did see a clip of it.

[B]

Yeah, but the problem is they say his face looked a little more circular. It's. It's sort of. Is it him or is it not?

[A]

That's how they don't just say, that's ridiculous. Publicist has confirmed it was indeed him who attended that event.

[B]

Oh, okay. So his publicist has to go out on a limb and say, yes, it was.

[A]

Of course it's Jim Carrey.

[B]

But you know how the Internet gets. So they say there's definitely some lighting, some things. Maybe he had a few squirts, a few pulls and pinches like everybody. Because that's just the way it is here. We're in Hollywood, but no one's shocked by that. But he looked a little more full than he does when he, you know, people haven't seen him in 10 years.

[A]

I don't know if it's been that long. But I thought he looked healthy. That's the main thing. He looked good. I don't know anything about that. He probably, you know, they say you go away, you're rested, you come back. But yeah, he looks good.

[B]

Well, he's got money for food. I mean, if he, if he put on a few, fine. He was always skinny. Who cares? But anyway, I was out the other night and they were like, david, David, is it a clone? Because there's a theory that there's a guy that impersonates people and he wears a mask, which is a whole nother thing. They said Joe Biden was a guy with a mask. Sometimes. I mean, these masks are so good. So it could be almost anyone. But that one was almost not good enough to be Jim Carrey. It was too full. It was, you know what I mean?

[A]

Right. You've had apple dumpling cheeks and, you know, he had, you know, nice head of hair. I'll just say one thing to that, that people think it's the mass. Don't, don't, don't know. Don't, don't, don't. No, don't, don't, don't know. Can't tell, can't tell. Not sure, not sure. It's a mass. Don't, don't, can't tell.

[B]

Can't, can't, can't, don't know, can't tell. Don't is not for sure.

[A]

Not a mask. Not a mask, Not a mask.

[B]

By the way, I did.

[A]

I'm never gonna be on this podcast again without sunglasses that look cool.

[B]

Are these the new ones, Heather? Because they look. They look bigger. I don't know if these are the new ones. I got new ones because I scratch. I lost you. I lost the other ones. You know, Heather, when I walked in last night, they were sitting right there. Did you find them?

[A]

No.

[B]

Fudge.

[A]

I have my cool ones. Maybe when we take a break, I'll go back. I found my cool ones. I lost. Do you ever lose something for like three years and then you go, yeah, that's where they were.

[B]

Or it's in a coat. I wear this black coat and these shades, and I sit in the back McDonald's like this. I go, whoa. I sit like Fonzie. Whoa. They go, were you the guy in Benchworms? Like, hey, not now, man. Hey, man.

[A]

And then with me. All right. Do you know the guy that's in bench warmers? Not now. Not.

[B]

What about, let's not, not, not, not, not. It's not a good time to happy mad.

[A]

Well, you gotta do the falsetto for the second time. I know.

[B]

I like that. Happy Madison.

[A]

That's like the fluke, you know, Dana,

[B]

it's time for a little five hour energy action.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know, I dabble in five hour energy to do a little wakey wakey. I don't mind a little energy in the day and I don't want sugar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And this is a little sippy sip. Fits right in your sock if you need it to. When you've seen them, they're this big.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. That's what's great about them. Confetti craze is one of their new flavors.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Tastes like birthday cake. I mean, that's the thing that they're doing now is all kinds of flavors with five hour energy. So you can pick your favorite. Vanilla and buttery.

[B]

It doesn't need to be your birthday because, Dana, when we're out, you're always telling the restaurant your birthday to get something free, right? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And. And it's my anniversary again.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you were milking that one last week. You're like, it's that again this week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But 17 flavors.

[A]

When you're out, you always take off your sweater and then you go, it's kind of cold in here. Could I get a down vest?

[B]

I go, it's kind of cold. Can I get a free meal? I'm freezing.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's weird. You're kind of. You have some picadillos.

[B]

Yeah. But confetti craze is great. It's a little buttery, it's a little vanilla. It's like, you know, like birthday cake.

[A]

Yeah. And now basically they're giving you caffeine now. Five hour energy shots. And get this sounds like a lot to me. 17 flavors.

[B]

17. It. It's not too many, it's a lot. But at least it gives a big selection. And you don't get a sugar crash. You just get a little. Yeah. So I'm excited. They're on. You can get these at, you know, obviously five hour energy dot com. You can go to Amazon. They're stocking up. I'm stocking up. I have to load up because I kind of buzz through them pretty quickly. Cake on the brain. Confetti craze. It's back. You can go five energy.com Amazon the

[A]

funfetti flavor is back on five hourenergy.com or Amazon, crack open confetti craze. Five hour energy shot today. If you're like this and you gotta be like this, it's five Hour energy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Take that to the bank.

[B]

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[A]

Hmm. You know, the built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools make managing everything so much simpler, which honestly saves me a ton of time. And the design options are incredible. I mean, start with David the blueprint AI or pick from their award winning templates. Then drag and drop your way to a site that perfectly matches your style. It feels professional, it's highly polished. And completely on brand. Even if you don't have any design experience, Squarespace also makes claiming your perfect domain simple and secure.

[B]

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[A]

But anyway, do you ever lose something and you're so frustrated, like your wallet, your car?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And you're looking in the freezer and you go, okay, what if I actively tried to hide it from myself?

[B]

Oh, forget that. I used to do that with drugs. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I must have hid it from myself because it's nowhere in my. In my purview anyway.

[B]

And where'd you find it?

[A]

At your house?

[B]

You know what's missing?

[A]

A wad of cash.

[B]

I used to have a lot of drugs. And then, of course, I sneeze and they pop out of my butt and I go, that's always the last place you look.

[A]

Why don't you say butthole? You want to say butthole?

[B]

I do.

[A]

You do.

[B]

I'm cleaning it up for you.

[A]

Well, butthole is more like third grade, and wiener is like fourth grade, so keep it in that primary school area. See, now you got.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

Where, where, where is it? Where, where, where is it?

[B]

Where is my one perk said I can't find. Is it in my bunghole? Bung hole is even gross.

[A]

Beavis and Butthead join the podcast Bungalow. He said bungalow. I predict that in the comments will be at least 40% of the people will be doing the, you know, kind of Tom Cruise Mission Impossible thing.

[B]

It's hard to do the joke without saying it because you have to hear it. Inflection.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Well, let me see. To wrap up Jim Carrey, I will

[A]

say, let's wrap him up.

[B]

Oh, I checked in on him. I checked in on him just to say, congratulations. Much deserved. Because we're friendly, at least. I don't seem a lot. I said, I might. Are you in Maui? He lives in Maui, I thought. And I said, if we go out to a movie there later this year, are you there? And he said, I think I'll be back there by then. So I think Jim Carrey was just Jim. I didn't ask, but I think he won the award. And I think everything's normal.

[A]

I think he looks great. It's obviously Jim Carrey, and we should say. Because we can be sincere. You know, he is brilliant. I Mean his of course physical comedy starting with Ace Ventura, which I turned down.

[B]

No, you did not.

[A]

I did, but they didn't know.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

But Jim Carrey was. Was way better than anyone else could have been in that role because I was watching with Nicholas Cage. They're good buddies in Toronto in a movie theater and he, he created this new idea of being a comedian on screen. Like hyper reality. Like what are you doing? I mean just no sense of anything being real. And yet he was so committed because the guy guys to raise him in the police station. Razz him. Hey, what are you doing Ace? He gonna.

[B]

Oh, I wonder. It's like William said so times 100, right? And I think, I think when they were saying about that back then was it was just a goofy movie maybe being passed around. He says he'll do it. He didn't make that much but he's like let's just do take a huge swing and it'll miss or it'll hit and chances where it would miss. But he's. He's actually kind of a good looking guy. He has a rubbery face and it's. And he's got a good voice and he's very. It's somewhat. Something about it is so hilarious. He does it really well, whatever he's doing.

[A]

He beat himself up in a bathroom in one of his movies. I mean he was rubbery bodied. I mean he'd actually. When he auditioned, yeah, he could put his foot over his head. So yeah. So he's one of a kind. Well deserved. In the French. French went. This is what they're saying you interpret.

[B]

Is it you or a clone?

[A]

What?

[B]

That's what they're saying.

[A]

Is it really him? Is it Mission Impossible Mask could. Could. Could be a mask. Could, could, could be a mask.

[B]

It's hard to do, Dana.

[A]

I know it is. I do a lot of fake languages.

[B]

We do a lot of fake languages

[A]

and they all sound real because I like Sid Caesar.

[B]

Pizza. Pizza.

[A]

What did that. What did I just say? That's not the real David Spade. Can't you tell? Look at his sunglasses.

[B]

He's got the eye that's having trouble. What about snl? Did the thing that we were doing last night. We did Deepak.

[A]

Right. And I didn't. I wasn't really. Because I saw a comment said I. Oh, Earth an apology. But I didn't.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah, but that's all right. I wasn't. Yeah, it's the one comment. But what I was really trying to say was that would subconsciously what they're thinking, would they blurt it out kind of like Tourette's, but not literally. And that was Deepak Chopra with the Epstein file saying, bring your girlfriends. I mean, his was pretty frisky. I don't judge it. I don't know it. I don't think so. Got a frisky. Got a thing. So that was just Deepak Chopra with sort of involuntarily spasming into his true self.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like love and consciousness and this. And spank me with a spoon. You. And then he's. He. He's convulsing. So that's what. That. We've explained that one. Now, how do we explain what you did last week?

[B]

No, I'm saying. I'm saying SNL did Tourette's and it got cut.

[A]

And it also was just celebrities blurting out subconscious stuff.

[B]

Celebrity impressions blurting out. Good SNL staple. Yeah. That have had their problems in the past and blaming them on Tourette's.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So it's kind of like mine. They're blurting out what. What they really want to say.

[B]

Yes. Sarah Sherman was funny as Jill, Zarin.

[A]

And Keenan, was he Cosby. I just don't. Cosby is such a funny voice. And just said, what? Cause the man said, what? The pudding in the door. And it's just such a funny rhythm, you know?

[B]

But. Yeah. So did they cut it? Because it was offensive. But those things on the surface are funny. But if you look too deep about Tourette's. Yes, it's a little offensive, but.

[A]

Right. What they do, I don't. You know, I don't think the intent is. You know, it's also because Tourette's was in the ether because of the N word debacle, like, 10 days ago.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it was just in the ether.

[B]

Now, here's something for the audience, for you. All right. I'm here to educate you. No, I actually have a question for you. Hang on. Hit the button. We still don't know what it means.

[A]

This is gonna be explained.

[B]

We're gonna pay it off. When they say cut for time.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Are they literally pulling that from dress and airing it?

[A]

Well, it was.

[B]

Because nothing gets caught on the air.

[A]

No, it must have been. No, it can get cut on the

[B]

air for time, but it's not shot and cut.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If you do it on the air, it's on the air.

[A]

Well, right. They might put it on YouTube if they run out of time. Well, no, I see what you're saying. They would cut it. Yeah, they Would cut it on air. So if they did it, it meant they had time to do it.

[B]

They would use it from dress. But on air, it got cut. While they're doing this, they go, let's

[A]

just do the dress version and address one got leaked or put out. Or they just put it out online.

[B]

They do it. I think it's smart because when I saw that, I thought it was funny and I thought it was on the show.

[A]

Yeah, we used to have sketches cut back in 1885 when that covered way. We didn't have YouTube. We had lube

[B]

when there were sketches. It was literally us sketching out a scene.

[A]

Lord Michaels was 17 years old and we had to put ointment on his pimples before the show started. Why is he also. Who is he? But yeah, that's. That's cool that things can live on YouTube.

[B]

You know, if we had that. I'm so jealous of that.

[A]

Well, we got a lot of stuff on YouTube. You got a lot. Everyone's got a lot of stuff on you now. Yeah, now way too late. By the way, the airport security thing with Sharon Stone where I do an Indian guy couldn't do it today. Whoops. And Rob Schneider and Kevin nealon. That was 16 million last year. Now it's like 22 million. I think it's from that era of a different kind of era where there was a lot more, you know, kind

[B]

of non PC stuff.

[A]

Yes. Because that's what Marcelo said to us when he was doing an Italian waiter sketch. He looked at the Italian waiter sketch from the 90s and he goes, that was so much funnier. But we explained well, we got to do a lot of different edgy stuff. So.

[B]

Yeah, you could have full frontal nudity back then

[A]

also.

[B]

Oh, we did it. Oh, we did a gig. While we were gone. We did a gig and it was hysterical. Dana Carvey, I hate to admit, really crushed. Well, I have, and it's great.

[A]

You set him up for me. Spade came out with total destruction.

[B]

Spade came out, but Larry Bubbles Brown, your friend, came out and we can explain the button.

[A]

He's our. He's our opener. He's a brilliant comedian. He's hysterical. And kind of the motif of his act is that it's self deprecating, like, life didn't work out for him. Someone stole my identity, now they can't get laid. And then he says this sort of like, it's a. Someone stole my identity, now they can't get laid. And that's like as an emphasis. And the audience always loves it becomes a catchphrase. So he's selling these and we'll. We'll. Next week we'll tell you where he can buy one. If you want to buy one. It's fun to have it around. If, like, is dinner ready? You know? No. So it's any kind of. And Larry. Larry Bubbles Brown, he's based out of San Francisco. He's. He's a San Francisco treat, you know,

[B]

I remember his name from the old. What was that? Just for laughs. Newspaper, San Francisco comedy competition, all the clubs. Who's playing where. I love that.

[A]

Yeah. And Paula Poundstone, the great Paula Poundstone, one night was introducing him and just said, oh, here is Larry Bubbles Brown. Because then he comes out sort of as like, like, you know.

[B]

Oh, he's. He's kind of a downer. And. Is that where bubble came from?

[A]

Yeah, and that's where. And then it just stuck. Larry Bubbles Brown.

[B]

Oh, you know what's funny is that when I was in one of these gigs in Oklahoma, this maid gets on the elevator with me. Housekeeping. And she goes, she's an old black lady. And I said, oh, hey. I said, how you doing today? She goes, oh, David Spade. They said you were in the hotel. And I said she was, oh, I'm not going to bubble you up like they are. I will bubble you up. I don't. I know you don't want to get bubbled up right now. And I said, I know I do like to get bubbled up. Never heard that term in my life.

[A]

It's.

[B]

Loved it.

[A]

Instead of butter you up, sort of,

[B]

I guess, bubbled up. Yeah. I don't want to. It's like, I don't want to fluff your feathers.

[A]

Yeah, I had one.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

I'm not gonna tap your tummy.

[B]

Is that what they say?

[A]

Yeah, I ain't gonna tap your tummy. I know everyone here is praising you. They like Wayne's World, but I ain't tapping your tummy.

[B]

I'm not gonn.

[A]

I knew that was coming. I will not photograph your private pot.

[B]

Wait. Fluff your feathers. A good one. And good ego boost. That's it. It's an ego boost.

[A]

Butter your buns.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Butter your biscuits.

[A]

Yeah. They're usually. I had like 17. I was there a day early, so I had like 17 room service orders, you know, because you can't get a snack. You're in the tower and you're like,

[B]

like, oh, we were in the tower of a casino hotel and it was. It's so busy there's. So many people there. You know it's. The casino itself is very nice. Thunder Valley. And it's great for them to pack in 4, 000 people. I'm always like where are they coming from? It's in the middle of almost nowhere. This is always the case.

[A]

I was shocked. That thing. I went out there and looked. I go we're in trouble. You know. It's actually 4,500. Where are they going to come from? It's a little bit off the beaten path but.

[B]

Well, I loved it. They all showed because we went to dinner and everyone was there going hey, we're all coming to show because it's your. The only once they're all there. There's like three restaurants. So.

[A]

Right. I asked the guy why are you coming to the show? He goes it's the only show.

[B]

Yeah. The only game in town. I'll take it.

[A]

In Vegas there's like 1900 shows. But it was an incredible audience. Had a great time. We should go back and some point. Isn't it? Go ahead.

[B]

No, I thought you're gonna talk about the war but I think you got something.

[A]

Oh no, the war. Well, words aren't funny but Trump is still amusing. Like Peak, I guess. There was a submarine and we sunk an Iranian ship and it hadn't been done since World War II. So Trump was really. Not since World War II, if you can think about it. Look at that nonsense. World War II beat exit. He's a smart cookie. He's a turkey cookie. He's a cookie monster. But this. This time he went further. I mean he's a. He's a vicious Ding Dong. You remember Ding Dongs? These Ding Dongs Hostess. You know, a little bit of frosting. They're good.

[B]

You know.

[A]

He's a divicious Ding Dong pig head with. Is a tough. He's a moist cookie. He's a honey bun. He's moist and soft with cinnamon. That guy. He's a. Go ahead. He's a. He's a hostess cupcake with a squiggly frosted. You remember the squiggly? The icing.

[B]

The.

[A]

I see there was a squiggle on top of the cupcake. It's icing. And the press goes. What are we talking about again?

[B]

He's a tough Twinkie.

[A]

He's a tough. He's a hoey Ho ho. He's a tough Ho ho. You remember Ho Ho.

[B]

Very similar to Ding Dongs.

[A]

Fencing Ding Dongs. He's a maple bar. He's a maple bar. He's a sweet. Remember the maple bars. You gotta remember the bear claws. The claws can bite you like pecans.

[B]

Pete Pazuki.

[A]

He needs oxygen Pete.

[B]

By the way, hexith is a tough word to work into the whole exith.

[A]

I had some idea of it. I just went from cookie monster. He's a vicious Ding Dong. I thought that was funny.

[B]

I like remember the Squiggles.

[A]

I did this two minutes ago. Remember the Ding Dong? He took a little bit. A little bit of frosting and chocolate covered cookies. He's a tough ho ho Here. Remember the ho Ho? He's just a jumbo honey bun. Soft, moist with honey glaze. He's a sneaky hostess cupcake. You remember the Squiggle? So that's what I wanted to do, but I just didn't get to.

[B]

It's funny.

[A]

That was exciting. Then I went to the pharmacy and I wanted to get a beard trimmer. So I. But they're all locked. It's funny. Shampoo's locked.

[B]

Everything, even where you are, it's locked. This is horrible.

[A]

I know. You got to press a button and then you want to just kind of get something and get out. And there's like customer help.

[B]

I'll far.

[A]

Everyone's looking. Who? What does he want? So she comes over high and so there's regular shavers at one side and then there's the manscape side. She's like, which one? Which one do you want me to open? Do you want me to open this? Let's open this. So you want. And she holds it up. Do you want this one?

[B]

The man for your nutsack.

[A]

And it on the, on the front of it, it says for down there. Oh, no, I just want the Norelco. You sure, you sure you don't want.

[B]

What do you got going on down there? We might trim the hedges a bit.

[A]

And then she says, do you know Joe Dirt, dude? I do that.

[B]

I have to buzz the buzzer. And the guy with the keys comes out, takes and they go like this. We got aisle four. Yeah, it's like Preparation H, all that stuff. So they come in and I'm like, I don't know if you need to. If you have to lock up the toothpicks. Folks, I think we're losing the battle against crime.

[A]

Yeah, we. We've got Paul Mitchell shampoo for everyday use. Everybody, let's tighten it up in here. Yeah, I'm gon open this up. I want everyone to be on alert. All right. YouTube. When we open it, if we get rushed, we're Gonna have to use a drill.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not even interested in anything that's not locked up because I'm like, what are. This just shows me what's valuable. I'm like, oh, so the Q tips are what everybody wants.

[A]

It was weird. They had Joe Dirt signed autograph posters. Aisle four, the Joe Dirt poster. And they were locked up. They were like.

[B]

I did a signing. I just sat there with a card table and signed them.

[A]

Yeah, you did your pharmacy tour last

[B]

summer, and I do all the CVS is All the big ones.

[A]

You.

[B]

No, I gotta tell you that. It's the crime in la. I don't know if people think we're joking. They lock up almost everything in the pharmacy. And so you go in and you go, I gotta get this. And they gotta unlock. And I'm like. And then the. And then the people, you know, the mayor, you know, you should really work on making your store safer and locking more things up. I'm like, how about we just don't let people steal it? You know, like, let's make more laws. Like, no.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

The whole.

[B]

What am I saying?

[A]

In New York City on the corner, when I was back there doing Biden last summer, living on 57th street in this hotel, the pharmacy on the corner had, like, an army man, a flak jacket, and I guess an AK47 with combat boot just standing to the opening the whole time. You know, it's kind of intimidating. And, you know, I'm just saying. I'd like to get a Cadbury Bar. So I've got a Glock 45 in my face.

[B]

Yeah. Quickly, just. This is an Abba Zabba, if you want to pat me down.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I hope you keep your grenades holstered, because I'm just looking for Bazooka Joe. You know, I just.

[B]

This is what I. Pardon me for having an extra Peppermint Patty

[A]

if you keep. You know, you're a beating baton, you know, kind of Holstead. I. I just want to maybe get a Diet Pepsi if I could. No, you're a wonderful team. It's great. If a criminal gang comes in here, I'm sure you would be terrific to have, but I just want sort of a smaller Cadbury.

[B]

I love it so much. So fun. Just trying to get a couple lifesavers.

[A]

I know. So in our comedian brains, we're trying to go the weaponization of the guy. The baton, the grenades, versus the. The more meek and friendly and micro. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The normal people that are terrified to go in because the Worst is when you're standing there waiting for the four hour line and then someone just rips something out, walks out, and they're like, we're not allowed to follow them. We get fired. I'm like, something's wrong with that system.

[A]

Do you ever turn around at a pharmacy, especially a crowded one, and you just grab something, you turn back and 19 people have gotten in line while you turned away for a second?

[B]

Yeah, I just, I was here.

[A]

I bought myself a half hour.

[B]

Yeah. Have you ever gotten your pills and they're like putting all your pills out? Everyone looks and then they go, do you need a pharmacist to tell you how to put these? How do you how to do these? And I go, I. I know how suppositories work. I just stick them up my button. Yeah.

[A]

Butthole.

[B]

Yeah, you just stick them up your bung hole.

[A]

I think it's sweet. You know, when a senior and I really very elderly gentleman kind of trundles up and, and maybe he goes, hey, I. And he's got his joke that you can tell he's used a thousand times. There's something sweet about it. Hey, there's a rumor that there's some medications waiting for me. You know, you could tell. It says, go do things.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

I know. And the people are so friendly. They're like, yes, Mr. Wilkins, just like last week. Anyway, pharmacies are weird. You know, my whole deal with pharmacies.

[B]

I know. Let's not get you going.

[A]

Don't get me going on that. Save it for next week.

[B]

All right, let's do. Do. Let's do our five hour thing.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Guys, this year we're gonna do buzzing around applause man.

[A]

Five Hour Energy. Look, I'm not. This is what we're talking about.

[B]

Buzzing around their fruity rainbow flavor. Treat your taste buds to an explosion of fruit candy flavor with a tasty caffeine kick. Get candy flavored chaos with fruit rainbow 5Our Energy Shots. You can get them at 5Our Energy.com or Amazon. And this, this one today is going to be. If you get a scenario, I'll bark out a few celebrities.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I haven't seen John Kennedy in a while.

[A]

I'm gonna put him on a. A life raft after the cruise ship sank. So there are life raft in the ocean. Let's. I put. I'm thinking of maybe Travolta. I think Travolta because I did them at that casino and I kind of like visiting 1972. John, who's the nicest celebrity I've ever met, if it's possible. And then I guess Senator John Kennedy is always fun in the life raft. And you can always chime in. And then I just maybe, I think, be funny if Dylan's in the live raft, too. I'm trying to think of the most. And maybe Michael Kane and. And big one Timothy Chalamet. And then maybe Burgess Meredith.

[B]

Okay, I'll cover that.

[A]

Okay. I'll throw to you.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. All right, here we go. So they're in the life. This is so ridiculous.

[B]

So dumb, you know?

[A]

Okay, suddenly I'm beating Punchy. Yeah. You know, this is, like, so weird. We're in the middle of nowhere in a life left, you know, there's no paddles, anything. I say we just paddle with our hands and try to get the Fiji or something like that. What do you think?

[B]

Senator John Kennedy says their phone.

[A]

Did. Did. Did I. Did I just wake up in stupid town? You're suggesting that we will paddle with our hands 5. 5,000 miles to the island of Fiji. Your words, not mine. What do you say, Bob Dylan? Hey, there's no rules when it comes to paddling. We go any way we want. We can paddle with the left hand, paddle with the right hand. As long as we're going in the right direction, right? Michael Keane. Oh, I think it's obvious that we should light a flash. There's no reason. There's no reason to bloody paddle across the Atlantic Ocean or Pacific, wherever the. We are light of flare. Right, Timothy? Hey, hey, come on, man. No, seriously, we should let her flare, man. Hey, this is Timothy Chalamet. We should. I. I played Martin Supreme. We should definitely light a flare, man. Oh, we couldn't let a flare. I'm telling you, man. Ryan purges Meredith. Paddling. This paddling's gonna ho.

[B]

Chip Minute rock.

[A]

You can't paddle anybody. I bet you have a battle for 20 years. We gotta have Stallone in the life rafter. Hey, hey, hey. What do you. What do you mean? How are we gonna paddle? We don't have a paddle. You know what I'm saying? This paddle's gonna ho.

[B]

Chir rock.

[A]

It's gonna hurt you po.

[B]

No, I need. I need a defibrillator.

[A]

Hey, I think it's a great idea. Just paddle, everyone, right? Senator John K. Now, did I wake up one morning? You're. This is what you call a mad house. Your words, not mine. Your words, not mine.

[B]

I'm not known for my physicality.

[A]

I. I'm not. I am 75 years old and you want me to paddle 3,000 miles?

[B]

Well, I'll be doing the navigational participation.

[A]

And you know, by the way, the cruise ship is about 50ft from us. So this fantasy is all over. Let's get, let's get back on boat. Get back. All right.

[B]

That was buzzing around starring Dana Carvey. Sponsored by 500Fruity Rainbow Flavor. Treat yourself to a candy like flavor explosion. Explosion. Satisfy your sweet tooth with the zero sugar treat. Once again, you can get in on this candy flavored chaos online at www.fiveronergy.com or Amazon today. Applause, applause.

[A]

That's right. You know, bus in the round.

[B]

Still going around. By the way.

[A]

I had warmed up. Then we stop.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Oh, there's this.

[B]

There's the ship that got blowed up.

[A]

Who's that?

[B]

That's. That's Travolta seeing the Iranian ship.

[A]

You know, this is like weird. This is ship that got blowed up by the peak health sky. You know, he's. Trump says he's tough like a ding dong, you know.

[B]

By the way, do you think this war, how is it going to affect the Riyadh Comedy festival? I think that's what everyone's asking.

[A]

Is there another one?

[B]

I'm sure next year. Yeah, it might. They might have to put a pause in it. They might have to put a. A pin in it.

[A]

Yeah, just, you know, like, don't want to have to do comedy with a flak jacket on. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah, that's already scary over there.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in with a full lineup of non alcoholic beer styles you can enjoy. Bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stock the fridge for tip off with a variety of non alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com near Beer Fit for all times.

[B]

All right, let's go to a few stories. Even though we're running late, let's see what's in the news.

[A]

Let's get a couple of stories because people want them.

[B]

Okay, A woman sent her ex boyfriend over 1, 000 pounds of onions so that she could make him cry the same way he made her cry. I like they have this AI photo of this guy scratching his head. This is probably the fake story. It's like a joke.

[A]

What's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's not real Nobody sends a thousand pounds.

[B]

You know how much money she would have to spend?

[A]

One the energy and the one.

[B]

The end.

[A]

Yeah, I think that this is made up. I'm going out on a limb. It's a hot take, but how about

[B]

just put a fart in a jar? It's a lot cheaper. That's what I do when I'm in a pinch for a present.

[A]

Fart in a jar.

[B]

There's girls that sell those. And you would be shocked. Dana. I, I, I have to cover your ears and protect you from what's going on out there.

[A]

I don't want to think about it. There was a Christmas tradition at the Carvey house. We're in our 20s, where fart in a jar, you would do a diversionary gift and see if someone was sad. You know, like, you don't. A gift would be a bottle of Heinz ketchup and go, you like it, don't you? It's a bottle of Hein ketchup. They look disappointed. And then my brother had a little keyboard, and we'd sing a song. You can take it. You could take it, take it, take it back. You know, return it. So. Okay, well, those sound like fun Christmases, right? This sounds really good.

[B]

That sounds like a blast. All right, next story. By the way, we didn't tell the audience. You did chopping broccoli and you did an acoustic version.

[A]

That was.

[B]

Remember that, Heather?

[A]

I started on piano.

[B]

Heather filmed it.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I started on piano and then something. Some clubs didn't have pianos back. This was pre snl. And then I sort of adapted a D little to C to little. E little. Run around. Yeah, I know the language.

[B]

This is that. This is that master class thing. Okay, here's our next story. Lamar Odom claims he'd be in the hall of fame if not for his, quote, great cocaine summers.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I'm happy for him. He's joyous. He made a choice. He won a title, didn't he? Yeah. With the Lakers. Yeah, I think so.

[B]

I mean, also, people are mad that he, he didn't he break up with Chloe twice? I don't know. That probably stung him.

[A]

Never break up. Now, here's one rule of life. If you've landed a Kardashian with a 7 billion dollar empire, never break up with a Kardashian. My words, not yours.

[B]

My theory, already single. Okay, okay, next story.

[A]

I was trying to think of something. Okay.

[B]

There wasn't much there. Don't worry.

[A]

Yeah, I'll tell you in a second.

[B]

Okay. I don't know what this is.

[A]

Let's see it me that most of

[B]

the customers, some of these accidentally are paid actors. Yeah. How do you know that?

[A]

Because I am one.

[B]

It's the best acting job in Hollywood.

[A]

Or at least the one that's the most.

[B]

What this would be shocking. Started in this.

[A]

It was during Rick Caruso campaign to

[B]

show that he was Rick Caruso successful, which I go to without being paid.

[A]

Yeah, it's quite a place.

[B]

This guy is saying thriving. He's an actor. And to make money, they go to the Grove and walk around. Look at the beginning of every shift, you get your loop and he.

[A]

He's paid to hang out at the Grove?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why?

[B]

His loop was part of parking lot to the theaters and back.

[A]

He's not a security guard. It's just so.

[B]

Look at. He was an escalator guy for the first six months. He used to go up and down

[A]

to the people that. Right on the trolleys.

[B]

Those are all extras. You don't need as many because that's obviously the. The trolley.

[A]

So what, he just walks around? That's his job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are the conversations? Improv or what? What are you saying? Yeah, mine's non speaking.

[B]

Oh, he's a non speaking. Interaction or anything like that. It's probably.

[A]

There's a few speakers.

[B]

So you just walk.

[A]

Does he have a little sign? He's wearing a little hat that says the Grove. How do you know he's not just a dude walking around?

[B]

No, he just. They.

[A]

I don't understand.

[B]

They want that. They want the Grove to look packed is what he's saying. So they pay them.

[A]

Okay, there I go. So there is a reason they just pay people to look like the Grove is.

[B]

Yeah, look like it's bustling. And right after Covid, he's saying they had to do that. And he got paid. And his loop was escalators, movie theater and back. And someone else is like, I go to the fountain in Azara.

[A]

What a job. I mean, it's got to be at least 15 bucks an hour. It's LA, right?

[B]

I could get my steps. My maximum steps in one day is still 13,000, which is considered nothing.

[A]

Well, where are you strolling? Or are you actually working? You know what you could do is walk down the hill where you live.

[B]

Wrong.

[A]

Walk down the hill to the bottom. Not back up and then grind back up.

[B]

No. Dana.

[A]

Yeah. Heather could film me doing it. So you could do it easy.

[B]

You're the people I almost hit coming up my hill because there's no sidewalk

[A]

here's an impression of me going up your hill when I drive up it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

On the way to your place.

[B]

Oh, dry. Here's my impression of you. Here's you walking up my hill. No stress.

[A]

Here's me trying to reach for the intercom to get to the gate.

[B]

Separated shoulder.

[A]

Then you look at the gate, and it's like, hey, Heather, here's Bobby Lee

[B]

pulling in my gate.

[A]

Scrape.

[B]

He wasn't even looking.

[A]

He wanted to scrape.

[B]

I know. It's really a badge of honor because

[A]

instead of wiping his butt, he scraped it along the earth vibes.

[B]

Now, it's a good. It's a good story.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

All right, one more punchy story.

[A]

I know what I was going to say. You would have been the greatest cast member in the history of SNL if you had an insisting when you were off camera wearing the Gap girl outfit.

[B]

So is that Lamar?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or I would have been in the SNL hall of Fame if not for that.

[A]

Yeah, but you were always dressed in the Gap, you know. David, do you have any sketches? And I'd look over, and you'd be in the Gap girl outfit. And I'm like, this is not what is.

[B]

At the time, it seemed like it made sense because I'd wear it to the cast party afterwards and everything, but it was stupid, and it kept me out of the first ballot. Hall of Fame.

[A]

I went to the Emmys dressed as the church lady once. Yeah, that was fun.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

Oh, boy, oh, boy. That was not good.

[B]

Well, well, all right. We're gonna end with a banger. This story is all right.

[A]

This is it. Pressure's on.

[B]

Amanda Safe fried wore a prosthetic butthole for her new movie Testament of Ann Lee.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I think I need more to this story. I. There's her with her regular butthole. That's just her. But what are we in the press line? I don't even know what this movie's about. Why do you need a.

[A]

That would. That would denote there's some filmography around that particular part of her anatomy. And yet she wanted a fake one.

[B]

What does it say right there where it says, is this People magazine? It's page six. Amanda had a cool and exciting time using the prosthetic butthole film. Read more. Yeah, we need more to this story.

[A]

Right? Well, this may have to be a cliffhanger for next week's podcast.

[B]

Well, if you're showing your bh, you might be showing your P. Also, let's be honest. I don't want to talk about.

[A]

This is a wiener Heavy show. It's. I think we've jumped.

[B]

This show is the disaster.

[A]

Can I just say something about that actress from my favorite film this year, Housemaid.

[B]

Housemaid.

[A]

Did she get an award nomination at least for that.

[B]

That she was good in the house made. Yeah.

[A]

Could we give. She could have. She was kind of a co star. She could have got a supporting actress.

[B]

She did get best butthole. She got most realistic butthole.

[A]

All right, we've passed what we have now officially done.

[B]

I know.

[A]

We're in a weird butthole 20 times.

[B]

Oh, no, don't.

[A]

Next week. This one.

[B]

I know. We didn't wait. I mean, a lot of people ran.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Larry's like, that's not how you do it. That's not. You're ruining it.

[A]

Well, this is just my new toy. We'll be back next week. How you can get it and you have it out in the kitchen.

[B]

We're plugging other people's merch. We don't even have.

[A]

We don't have our own merch.

[B]

Where's our fly on the wall sweatshirts? Those sold out fast. We got to get new ones.

[A]

I want. I like to the. The sweatpants. I wear them to the gym because they're more comfortable and no one notices that they say fly.

[B]

No, they're cool.

[A]

So that's kind of cool, right?

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Well, thanks for coming on, Dana. I know you're busy.

[A]

Boy, I love being on the David Spade show.

[B]

And my eye. Hopefully by next week will be all right.

[A]

I am wearing sunglasses next week. I'm just gonna pre.

[B]

Pre order that come see me in Durham or Charlotte coming up or Nashville or Pittsburgh or.

[A]

Spade is a killer. I was going on second that night, and I was in the wings, and I just said to the sound guy, is there any way we can give him a lighter? Because you were. You were levitating the room, and I was like, fire.

[B]

You know what we did that was good? After Dana crushed. And then we went out together

[A]

to go, hey, everybody. And then we saw two sweet young women dressed as guys, and one is Joe Dirt.

[B]

And they were together, standing together. That was hysterical. In the front row.

[A]

I can't even. That's like.

[B]

That was. That was great. We should have gotten a picture with him.

[A]

But next time we do something that big, we should get a picture of Heather come out. So we're, like, in the audience behind us, because a lot of people don't believe it. It was 45.

[B]

We'll post it.

[A]

And we will post it. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Let's do it. And I will see you guys soon. We'll see you next week. Thank you for coming.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you for being here.

[B]

Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us review, five star rating and maybe even ship Share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

[A]

If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

[B]

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

[A]

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by

[B]

Phil Sweet Tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

[A]

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney and Lauren Vieira.

[B]

Reach out with us. Any questions be asked and answered on the show? You can email [e-mail] that's a U-A C-Y I dot com.