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David Spade
So I'm home, Dana, and I'm looking for something to eat. I don't want to make anything. And do you know what kachava is? Kachava.
Dana Carvey
Yep.
David Spade
It is. Yeah. It's like energy drink. It's a shake. It's. It's a to go thing. If you want to get some nourishment, you want to go just, you know, you don't have tons of time. There's chocolate. You put a. There's chocolate flavor. You can put a little oat milk in it. Frozen banana, spoonful of peanut butter. You know, stuff like this. It's super healthy. And I just got it in the mail and I'm like, where was it yesterday? Because this is what I do in the day. I pop in. I'm very busy, Dana.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I talked to your publicist.
David Spade
I know. I make you call them.
Dana Carvey
No, you are busy. And this is for busy, busy people. Who doesn't want a very healthy, delicious drink when you're running around and going, get just busy. That's all.
David Spade
I just say, get back on the streets. Stop by the house. It's exactly what I'm looking for. And it's got 25 grams of plant based protein, 85 plus superfoods. And none of the junk, none of the soy, no artificial anything. Just ingredients you'll actually recognize like chia seeds, goji berries, maca root. Right.
Dana Carvey
It's easy, it's delicious, and it keeps you full for hours. And if you've ever tried green powders or protein shakes that taste like lawn clippings.
David Spade
Yeah, the lawn bag. That's right.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. This. And I have. This is not that. Fuel your daily adventures with Kachava. Go to kachava.com and use code fly for 15 off your next order. That's Kachava K A C H-A V A.com code fly for 15% off.
David Spade
Dana, I'm going to tell you something that you might not know, but summer is. Summer's here.
Dana Carvey
Yeehaw.
David Spade
That's right. So that equates to more sun, more daylight. I'm just giving you the. I'm explaining what summer is.
Dana Carvey
Good. Thank you.
David Spade
More time to soak up everything that makes this season so great. But let's be real.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
The last thing I want to do is being a hot kitchen. That's why there's factor factors. Meals are chef crafted, dietitian approved and ready in just two minutes. Seriously. Honestly, two minutes. Perfect for busy summer days. I'd rather be at the beach or out by the pool.
Dana Carvey
I totally agree. And with 45 weekly menu options, there's something for every goal. Whether you're going to go calorie smart protein plus keto or just want really good food fast.
David Spade
The smoky poblano chicken, that's a hit. Creamy parmesan pasta with broccoli, absolutely delish. Factor makes it easy to stay on track without giving up flavor. From hearty breakfast to grab and go lunches, premium dinners and even guilt free snacks. Factor fuels your day sun up to sundown.
Dana Carvey
Enjoy more this summer. Get factor if you want all the flavor and none of the fuss, get started@Factor Meals.com fly 50 off and use code fly50OFF to get 50 off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code fly50OFF@Factor Meals.com fly50OFF for 50% off off plus free shipping. Factor Meals.com fly50OFF.
Julie Bowen
Eventually she'll have kids and she's going to have to tuck her into her socks. And that is just true. David loves marriage.
David Spade
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
And he has a long history.
Dana Carvey
I need five minutes.
David Spade
Who did I have call you on your birthday? Do you remember this?
Julie Bowen
Are you kidding me?
David Spade
Okay.
Julie Bowen
Stevie Nicks. He had Stevie Nicks call me and sing Landslide into my answering machine in New York. Dump me on the same answering machine.
David Spade
Okay.
Dana Carvey
Hey, David, can I ask you a question?
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Weekend. What happened?
David Spade
Yeah, I was. I went on the road. This is the new sort of format thing. So here we are, we're doing this and it looks very similar. We look the same. My hair's.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Everything's kind of got the helmet. Yeah.
David Spade
But the weekend for me, just right off the bat, while we settle in here, I went three tour dates, two in Arizona. So by the way, one was 113Tucson. 113. The BO is such a different level. People don't talk about it enough. When you get in the elevator with someone who's that sweaty. Yeah. After 110, the bo, it reformulates and it's sickening. It's off the charts. That's one thing. Arizona, when I went to Phoenix, that was a blast. My mom came, some friends came, had such a good time. And oh, also every. I forgot everywhere in Scottsdale someone's got a truck. So it's like Raptor. You know, you pull up next to someone and they're this high and they're like, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.
Dana Carvey
They were big step ladder lift kit. So it was like a game show. Yeah.
David Spade
Everyone, every guy's trying to be cool, but girls don't like hummers. So they go right back to Raptor.
Dana Carvey
Can I tell you what my. What I thought about when a guy has no muffler and he has a truck and he starts the car? What. What the car is really saying is, all right, I'll see you later. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man.
David Spade
That's kind of how it is. They got lifted up. Trucks, big tires.
Dana Carvey
Hey, honey, I think I've got BO. You know where my tank top is? Cuz I like to go out in a tank top when I'm full.
David Spade
Fully loaded on the wall. Yeah, dude, it was 1:17 in Scottsdale before I got there. It's so sickening. Anyway, the. The trip was fun. Turns out I didn't need to wear a sweater. I wore a sweater on stage because I just brought it. I got on stage, I was like. Because, you know, when you're in Arizona, if it's 117 out, they put the air conditioner on stunned. So when you walk into a store or a mall, it's 41 and you need a defibrillator. It's like deez, you know, I mean, it's so cold. You're like, this isn't good for the human body.
Dana Carvey
The store that we have is like, there's a beer source is. They'll go in there. I mean, it's a grocery store, but that you open up and it's a freezer full of beer. You walk into it.
David Spade
Oh, just a freezer, just.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, just like 33 degrees and you're in there. I mean, I must be a little bit above freezing. I want to ask you if this happens to you because it's kind of funny to me. So you go to a grocery store for a while and you're at deli or whatever, and you. You go on the road, you're not there for a while. And do you get this a lot? Hey, where you been? We haven't seen you around. Well, kind of traveling and working and doing. Yeah, but we hadn't seen you here for a while. What's going on? Where you been?
David Spade
Where you been, huh? Yeah.
Dana Carvey
You ever get that? Where you been?
David Spade
I get it. Hey, I'm seeing you. Oh, here's. I get the opposite. Used to come into my bar all the time. I've been there once or twice.
Dana Carvey
Same thing.
David Spade
You were always here every second.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
God damn. Is that what you tell people? I was never here.
Dana Carvey
And you would drink and drink and drink.
David Spade
You Were bo.
Dana Carvey
You were always up.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And you got the floor mopped with you by a couple guys one night. I think they were in always p. Dirt. You always. Your pants and worn adult diaper and were registered independent.
David Spade
Always.
Dana Carvey
You remember that?
Julie Bowen
Yeah, that's the thing.
Dana Carvey
This happens anyone. It's not because we've been on TV occasionally where you meet some of your high school days and they can photographically tell you what you said in the 70s. I said to you, yeah, I like a Buick. And you said, I'll never forget it. You like forge.
David Spade
I told this story for 30 years. You're like, this isn't even true.
Dana Carvey
So you have to agree. That's what you said.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
You saw a bird and said, well, persnickety doodle.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Remember that?
David Spade
They go, you were. You used to watch golf carts at the Phoenician. Which I did. And they go, you're always cracking jokes. I go, no, I wasn't know any jokes.
Dana Carvey
Has the audience noticed that I'm using this voice for every comedy bit today? I don't know why it kind of works. Just kind of. Kind of fun. Where you been? Where you been?
David Spade
V Neck going today.
Dana Carvey
You look like you're going to sing in a choir.
David Spade
No, because it was. It's a new setup. It's a new day. And so I said, I gotta. I gotta dress up. Like at least the beginning. And then I'll go back to looking like.
Dana Carvey
But I know what I'm going. Your hair looks incredible, by the way. For the new show. It's new hair.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
You know what I'm going to get you for your birthday?
David Spade
Please.
Dana Carvey
It's going to go with this. You can wear it underneath.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
A dickie.
David Spade
Do they know what a dicky is?
Dana Carvey
A mock turtleneck for the people out in TV Wonder Podcast.
David Spade
I bet even this shirt, like, if it only came down to here, but as long as you put it on and then you see this part, that's all you really need. So someone invented a little. Do you pull the turn like on and then it's just like a half circle.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, it's a little half thing. So if you didn't have anything else, you just wear the dicky and then you're all bare. I mean, this is what you do to make this cool. And we could do it after the show.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
I get your sweater. I take a scissor. I just cut it. Short sleeve. Both sides is kind of ragged. And that is the look today.
David Spade
Yeah. When girls, I used to wear them, they go, is That a dickie. I go, no, this is. And there you go. Okay, sir usually say wiener.
Dana Carvey
Now, dicky may be your new dicky. May be the way you refer to your penis. It used to be wiener for four years now.
David Spade
Wiener. I get a little wiener heavy. Some of these shows, I say it too much, but it is funny to me. And it's very pg.
Dana Carvey
It's very second, third grade.
David Spade
Yeah, it's goofy. So it's not so offensive.
Dana Carvey
No, it's very. It's very benign.
David Spade
Good for corporate gigs. Well, let's bring her out. We got Julie Bowen here today.
Dana Carvey
Julie Bowen.
David Spade
Excited to talk to her. We've had her on and she was such a hit with good feedback that we're having her on our first show.
Dana Carvey
Ladies and gentlemen, David Spay.
Julie Bowen
Oh, I'm so sorry. Did we keep you waiting?
Dana Carvey
They're hugging. They're hugging. Deep hug.
Julie Bowen
This looks good. What? Because it's a little bit of like a. What do you call that? A Rascal? No, it's like a. What do you call that? Like the high throw up thing.
David Spade
I think it's a mullet.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, it's kind of like a mullet, but it's. It's hipper.
David Spade
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
Julie, that's really not my job. David, first of all, I think that.
Dana Carvey
But I never say it out loud.
Julie Bowen
This is for you.
David Spade
God damn.
Julie Bowen
Two years ago you got mad at me. You get mad at me every year for forgetting your birthday. So I got you birthday presents two years ago that I haven't given to you.
David Spade
These aren't books, are they?
Julie Bowen
Because you don't read. No, no.
David Spade
I do have a book you gave me a long time ago, though.
Dana Carvey
He reads one. One tweet at a time, right?
David Spade
I like how books look.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, well, you know what? Then you'll like these.
David Spade
Am I opening them?
Julie Bowen
No, you don't have to open them. You don't have to open.
Dana Carvey
Is this for his birthday?
Julie Bowen
It was for. I. I always forget his birthday.
Dana Carvey
Cuz it's like sometime down low you.
David Spade
Forget it cuz you're married.
Julie Bowen
I'm not married. I am divorced.
David Spade
Oh, you were, but then you can forget it when you were divorced last.
Dana Carvey
Time you were here.
David Spade
Divorced. You're still divorced.
Julie Bowen
I keep getting divorced over and over.
David Spade
Did you get married again and divorce?
Julie Bowen
No. No, I did not.
David Spade
You would.
Dana Carvey
Who got more, him or her?
Julie Bowen
More divorced.
Dana Carvey
Who got the money, him or her?
Julie Bowen
How you doing? Yeah, how you doing, Dana?
Dana Carvey
Announce it. You don't have to answer any of my questions.
David Spade
How is one of you were on Modern Family at the time.
Julie Bowen
1. One of us was.
David Spade
Okay, this is true. There's your answer.
Dana Carvey
All right, there you go.
David Spade
Go ahead, ask. Ask Dana question.
Julie Bowen
I was gonna ask Dana what it was like being the most relevant person ever in the last year on snl. That was fun, right?
Dana Carvey
I like that word. Relevant.
Julie Bowen
We were.
Dana Carvey
It was interesting. It was interesting.
Julie Bowen
It was interesting.
David Spade
That's your shortest answer.
Dana Carvey
Relevant was part of that. No, I'm. I'm gathering intellectually. Let's see. It was surreal. It was bizarre. It was at times a lot of fun.
Julie Bowen
Do you now. Now that you know that Biden is like, severely diminished, do you feel any guilt or.
David Spade
Yeah. Do you, Daniel.
Julie Bowen
Or insight into your portrayal?
David Spade
Jesus. Well, good question.
Dana Carvey
This is really good. And we're gonna reframe this podcast, the Julie Bone podcast now.
David Spade
She's good. She's actually.
Dana Carvey
We can flip it. No, those are great questions.
David Spade
She's better at it than we are.
Dana Carvey
I knew that he was compromised mentally. I mean, it was obvious. But it was a delicate thing in the comedy world. There were a lot of people did not want to do anything that would kind of seeing him in like an awkward way.
Julie Bowen
But it's comedy.
David Spade
That's.
Dana Carvey
That's it. That's the key. If I can do Biden, that's the idea. But that's how I can make Biden funny to everybody. Then. Then I am where I want to be. And then to make it funny, it had to be recognizable. And so there's certain things I did not include in my package. Sorry, you would do a sexual pun on that package?
David Spade
Package means wiener.
Dana Carvey
Okay. So I'm trying to set him up. It's a little early wiener. The biggest one. Biggest one was this. I'm not getting around here. I'm being serious. So that was the biggest one for me.
Julie Bowen
But that. It was fantastic. I love.
David Spade
I think it's easier to make fun of him if he's a president. If it's just a 90 whatever year old man, just go, look at this. So once he's president, then he's more fair game to say. But no one made fun of him forever.
Julie Bowen
No. Well, he's sort of neutral. There wasn't a whole lot to. Until he started doing the. No. For real.
Dana Carvey
Well, they. But they didn't. But no one did. Yeah. No. And guess what? And by the way, the fact of the matter is. Sorry, I'm not kidding around here. Come on, folks. This isn't rocket science. And then the whole. I wrote the bill because I know how to write bills. You can write a bill faster than he's ever writer written a bill. While Bill Hickok, Alfred Hitchcock, three times charm. Ladies and gentlemen, the leader of the free world, that is.
Julie Bowen
I'm sorry, Having watched SNL since I was a wee child. And yes, David, you know I love you, but that. It is so crazy when you do that.
Dana Carvey
I love it.
Julie Bowen
It's so fun.
Dana Carvey
I fell in love with it. It took me two years to kind of get it and get all the different toys, I call them on the carpet and pick them up one at a time.
Julie Bowen
Two years.
Dana Carvey
Well. Cause he kept stacking. Look, the first six months it was just sweet Joe.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
You know.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Just like my dad lost his job writing this tone. Not getting around. Number one, the one part. Number two, what the guy said. Number three, you know the drill. Come on, folks. Isn't right. So it was just that I thought, well, it doesn't have the pop or energy of Trump or even Obama or W. And then I heard him whisper and yell and I thought, oh, here we go. And then the defiant 50s guy, there's no crisis of the border. Yeah, but you said, yeah, I can get your facts straight, Jack. I'll beat the hell out of you. You want to do some push ups? You're a dog face pony soldier. You know the 50s guy threatening. So Biden event, my favorite because he had like 10 hooks.
Julie Bowen
Did he acknowledge it?
Dana Carvey
His staff came to one of the parties, middle of the night. Hey, we just gotta say, I think I still have the cards.
Julie Bowen
I've got it right here.
Dana Carvey
We love your Biden. Why don't Joe probably love it too? Why don't you come down to the White House and have lunch? It never happened. But you know, because he said, what's lunch? Is that the thing you do before dinner?
David Spade
Just watch him eat a paper bag and you gotta go. No one says anything. No one says anything.
Dana Carvey
So anyway, I loved it. It was entering and exiting. But it's. It was a real challenge to make it acceptable. And I read comments. Hey, man, I hate Trump, but whatever. But this is really funny.
Julie Bowen
It was funny.
Dana Carvey
So that's the main thing. It was funny.
David Spade
All right, let's start the podcast.
Dana Carvey
So let's go. I have other stuff to share. Yes. Now, when I first got an snl, the church lady wasn't really full. Do we have a clock? No, don't dirt. They'll never take that away from you.
David Spade
Julie, I have a lot of really hard hitting questions. Enough of this.
Julie Bowen
Like literally pull out.
Dana Carvey
We have To I did very real Cliff Notes.
Julie Bowen
Help. Help, Help. It says, how will I be stopped?
David Spade
Help.
Julie Bowen
Sexualized women in their 50s.
Dana Carvey
Why are all these movies with women in their 50s being incredibly horny?
Julie Bowen
Julie Bowen. Dash. Sydney Sweeney. What the.
Dana Carvey
Your son. Your son thought Sydney was going to play the ex wife.
Julie Bowen
Yeah. Was like, no, no. It was going to be the Happy Gilmore's new hookup. And the. He said, I heard Sydney Sweeney's the cart girl.
David Spade
Can I come to see Cart girl is a good idea.
Julie Bowen
Cart girl.
Dana Carvey
So then you knew you the C girl or not.
Julie Bowen
I didn't know. I didn't know anything about the movie.
David Spade
Are you still allowed to read the script yet?
Julie Bowen
There's so many things on that piece of paper, it's terrifying.
David Spade
I know you're not supposed to say that.
Dana Carvey
We want to get to.
Julie Bowen
No, you.
David Spade
Let's start with stupid Happy Gilmore. Did you. I'm kidding.
Dana Carvey
That should have been the tragedy.
Julie Bowen
Adam, right behind you.
David Spade
He's not here.
Dana Carvey
Both. Did he call you up and be that very whispery, gentle Adam? Julie. Adam here.
David Spade
So he called you direct.
Julie Bowen
And he calling me and actually he texted me and I thought it was the second AD from some project. I just said. Because it just comes up as Adam. And I was like, hey, fuck face. And I was like, yeah. He said, what's going on? I was like, do you have something you need to say? And he was like, whoa, rude. And I picked up the phone and called him. I was like, I thought you were the second AD from some project that's.
David Spade
Hitting you up three years later.
Dana Carvey
You know, I'm gonna make a happy.
Julie Bowen
We're doing it, buddy. And. And we want you to be part. And I said, adam, I don't care if I'm part of it or not. Like, I felt like he was calling to tell me that I wasn't in it.
Dana Carvey
When did you realize during the phone call. Holy shit. I'm at happy Gilmore too. 30 seconds.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Did you negotiate at all? I mean, what would I approximately get paid negotiate? You didn't even hint at what it would be possibly.
Julie Bowen
No.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
No, I just. I mean, you've both worked with Adam.
Dana Carvey
Like we know him like a little. He's my little brother from another mother.
David Spade
Do you text your list of demands after when you think about it a little bit.
Julie Bowen
I did not have a list of demands. That was the craziest, most elaborate production though, I've ever seen. They're. You know, when you have a village, like. Like video. Not video village. Like the. Like the circus. You Know where they put all the trailers and stuff? Yeah, it was like a literal. Like, now you go to K Street. It reminded me of your bit about trying to get out of the mgm, the MGM Grand. And you're like, you go to the second wheel and you go around twice.
Dana Carvey
It was a little town.
Julie Bowen
It was mess.
Dana Carvey
Adam town. Did they. Did they have any cameos in the film?
Julie Bowen
Did they. Did. I think there's.
David Spade
We don't get Yahoo News. We don't know.
Dana Carvey
I don't really look at news much. I'm reading War right now.
Julie Bowen
I don't. I don't. I don't read about.
Dana Carvey
But, yeah, it. It's an extravaganza.
Julie Bowen
135 people, I think are in this movie.
David Spade
Shut the up. That's Eminem.
Julie Bowen
I don't know.
Dana Carvey
They did get Eminem.
Julie Bowen
They. Is that true?
Dana Carvey
Eminem is in. Because I. I did my homework. How do you know Post Malone, Eminem and Bad Bunny are doing cameos in the movie.
David Spade
Does Post Malone play your son?
Julie Bowen
My son.
Dana Carvey
His son plays basketball. He's called Post Up Malone.
David Spade
Wait, are you an Adam? Are you and Adam married? Did you get married in the first one?
Julie Bowen
At the end, we ended the movie just together.
David Spade
Right. And so now I think I'm only.
Julie Bowen
Allowed to say what's in the trailer.
David Spade
So you just say what's in the trailer?
Julie Bowen
Yeah, I mean, we're married. We have kids.
David Spade
Okay.
Julie Bowen
We're married with kids.
Dana Carvey
Nice.
David Spade
It's like, all along, the kids better be famous people.
Dana Carvey
Now, do you have a makeout, Sash, as David would say, with your husband Adam?
Julie Bowen
First day of shooting, we had a little kissy kissy.
Dana Carvey
Was it on camera? Off camera?
Julie Bowen
It was definitely on camera. It was definitely on camera.
Dana Carvey
I'm not trying to stir the pot here.
Julie Bowen
No, except for then you totally are movie. He said if I didn't make out with him, he was going to replace me with Sydney Sweeney.
David Spade
Yeah, well, you said Sydney Sweeney is in it.
Dana Carvey
Sydney Sweeney is in it as Cart Girl.
Julie Bowen
Is she? Yeah, she is.
Dana Carvey
She is in it.
David Spade
So your kid was right.
Julie Bowen
So my kid was right.
Dana Carvey
Your kid was right.
David Spade
Because that is a good idea. Cart Girl's always supposed to be some cute girl.
Julie Bowen
They never. They had, like, the whole cast list was coded. And, like, even in the hair makeup trailer, they'd be like. I mean, it was like, oh, Caddy. Oh, the Caddy's in. And that was all it was on the. On the call sheet and everything.
David Spade
And then car girl works today.
Dana Carvey
What?
David Spade
Big boob Cart girl.
Dana Carvey
I heard that. Sweeney. Sweeney.
David Spade
What is her name?
Dana Carvey
Sweeney. She had one golf cart for her breasts and one for her body.
Julie Bowen
It was so large. And on the piece of paper was women being sexualized now. What was that?
Dana Carvey
No, no women. I mean, Nicole came in. Queen of.
Julie Bowen
Yes.
Dana Carvey
Women in their 50s that are still incredibly horny. It's a genre. She was great in Baby Girl. Is that one.
Julie Bowen
Do you think she is though? Is she incredibly horny or is she just playing horny?
Dana Carvey
That is one of the best.
David Spade
Let's look at a clip.
Dana Carvey
Questions that has ever been asked on this podcast.
David Spade
Literally.
Dana Carvey
That is so next half hour is going to unpack that.
Julie Bowen
I have never met Nicole Kim. I have no know nothing about her. She's a great actress. But I like to imagine that she goes home and she's like, yeah, don't touch me. You know, she just like sleeps in like an oxygen because she's so beautiful and so perfect in porcelain.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah.
Dana Carvey
She's like, what about Keith Henry? Doesn't he have a right to get some. Do you sexual activity? I'm doing JFK as Keith Urban. Sorry. My Australian.
Julie Bowen
Is he Aussie too?
Dana Carvey
He's Aussies too.
Julie Bowen
I don't know.
Dana Carvey
He calls a Nick. Hey, Nick, how is it today? I got beat up in a shower and fist a guy.
David Spade
That's Baby Girl. Did you see Baby Girl?
Dana Carvey
Sorry, we might have to cut it. I guess that's for the crew.
Julie Bowen
Is that one? Is that not. That is probably not YouTube approved.
Dana Carvey
We can, we have editing capability. You can go as blue as you want. Greg's already cutting it right now.
Julie Bowen
I do, I do think that first of all, if I look like Sydney Sweeney, I would be naked 24 7.
Dana Carvey
Sure.
Julie Bowen
And because like, eventually she'll have kids and she's gonna have to tuck her tits into her socks. And that is just true because it's really.
Dana Carvey
That's gonna trend tits into her socks. That's great.
Julie Bowen
But that's only after she has kids. So while she's young and gorgeous and she is and a really good actress. I, I, I don't know why everybody gives her heat because she's got the greatest boobs that were ever made and she doesn't mind.
David Spade
She's good. I just saw Euphoria. I don't even watch Euphoria, but it was on when I was on the road.
Julie Bowen
And David wants to talk about his tour.
David Spade
No, we'll plug it on the commercial.
Dana Carvey
He'll be in. He'll be.
David Spade
You have to do, you have to do a testimonial. For Morongo. We're going to Yama. Good job. Julie. Yeah.
Julie Bowen
Are you going to Yamava?
David Spade
Yeah, we'll see if we can get you in.
Dana Carvey
Yamava. What is this?
David Spade
I don't know if I got any comps.
Dana Carvey
Is this Jewish Yamava?
Julie Bowen
I don't know what Yamaha is a casino out sitting near Palm Desert. Further within that.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
We're playing a casino.
Julie Bowen
The two of you?
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
Together. How does that go?
Dana Carvey
Well, he tries to follow me.
David Spade
That is true.
Dana Carvey
No, no, I don't want to follow him. That wasn't pretty. We've done followed you in Indianapolis.
David Spade
Yeah, I did too.
Dana Carvey
I said to the sound guy, look, I know it's. He's going a little over. Could we just like slowly bring the mic down and got him off before he did his porn chunk on an airplane.
Julie Bowen
What?
David Spade
It works.
Julie Bowen
I don't know the porn chunk on it.
Dana Carvey
He's got a very funny.
David Spade
I actually got a little dirty when I was at a. I just played. Judy was in the crowd. My mom and when I was in Arizona.
Julie Bowen
Sweet Judy doesn't want to hear about. She's the sweetest woman that ever lived.
David Spade
Yeah, she, she. I said, mom, if you're there, I, I, I will take some stuff out, but I gotta fill an hour. And I just did a special. I gotta do some new stuff. Oh, I don't care. I don't know if you need it though. And then afterwards she goes, it was great. I should have just walked out for the last 20, Mom.
Julie Bowen
Well, because of the horn thing of our 30 minute set. And she's like, that last 20 was just.
David Spade
Well, there's another Davey. There's a couple days, y' all. Oh, you know who's funny? Nate. She likes Nate for gods.
Julie Bowen
Nate is funny.
David Spade
He is funny and he's clean. It's a very.
Dana Carvey
Nate is great. Not because it rhymes. Nate is great.
Julie Bowen
Nate is really. Nate is very funny.
David Spade
That's another one for Spade's Got it Made.
Dana Carvey
Not because it rhymes. Julie is gonna fool you. No, because it rhymes.
Julie Bowen
Wait, how's it go?
Dana Carvey
I'm kind of punchy, if you haven't noticed.
Julie Bowen
So I don't know who's in this movie. It's a short answer because half. Because I know it's Travis Kelsey, right?
Dana Carvey
They're not in all.
Julie Bowen
You would see the people when you.
David Spade
Did you ever get on Travis Kelsey shoulders?
Julie Bowen
Why would I get on his shoulders?
Dana Carvey
Because he's a man that you could get on his shoulders.
Julie Bowen
You could get on his shoulders.
David Spade
No, and he wouldn't notice.
Julie Bowen
He didn't most. I could just climb right up his back.
David Spade
You weigh 88.
Julie Bowen
Yeah. And he is. He. I could like, tuck myself in his shirt. He wouldn't.
Dana Carvey
He's like a refrigerator with a head attached.
Julie Bowen
He's a very large.
Dana Carvey
Just weigh in real fast. I want to change the topic.
David Spade
Nothing.
Dana Carvey
Are they getting married? Tay Tay. Tay Tay. And cas. Trap. Trap.
Julie Bowen
I don't.
Dana Carvey
Are they getting married? You have five seconds.
Julie Bowen
No.
David Spade
Are they. Oh, you pushed her.
Julie Bowen
I know.
David Spade
Are they. That was your secretly married.
Julie Bowen
No.
David Spade
Okay.
Julie Bowen
No way.
David Spade
Why would they do anything in secret? Yeah.
Julie Bowen
Why? No, no, no. I mean, like, you know, David loves marriage.
David Spade
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
And he has a long history.
Dana Carvey
I need five minutes.
Julie Bowen
Can we cut tape? David loves commitment. And he's very serious about his faith.
David Spade
Julie Louise Bowen.
Julie Bowen
And he would like to stand in front of God and his family and make a lifelong commitment to one woman. And that's why he's so fascinated with this issue with Tay Tay and Tay Tay and Trav. But I've been married. I get along great with my ex husband. We're totally solid. Marriage is raw. Is hard.
Dana Carvey
It can be hard. Personal, just generally. What was the cause of the breakup or what causes marriages to break up? Not yours. You don't want to be personal. Well, I have some ideas.
Julie Bowen
Some of us are not as good at being married. And I'm one of those people. My husband was great, and I was just like. I was difficult and I was working all the time and I was. Suffered the like, underappreciation syndrome. And I'm doing all this and, you know, and then you start going in different directions and. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
The only thing a marriage can't survive is contempt.
David Spade
Is that true?
Julie Bowen
I thought.
Dana Carvey
Well, I. I just. I. I heard a. Heard that of some analysis on the radio.
Julie Bowen
You heard that?
Dana Carvey
Contempt.
Julie Bowen
You heard that in your couples therapy?
Dana Carvey
No, this is what I heard it. I heard about women. Let me see if it's. Think this is true?
Julie Bowen
Let's hear it.
Dana Carvey
No, men want to be admired. Okay. And women want to be loved by a man they admire. You have five seconds.
Julie Bowen
What the. That's like. It takes me five seconds even. Ad. Women want to be loved by the man they m. Okay.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
You admire your quite groundbreaking.
Julie Bowen
I mean, admi. I don't really. I loved him.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
Yeah. I loved. I don't know. Admire. That sounds weird. Like. I mean, not everyone can be admired the way you two are admired. There's nothing.
Dana Carvey
Well, I admire David and he admires me.
Julie Bowen
I admired your Ability to bring other people along on our dates.
David Spade
Julie, this isn't why you're here.
Dana Carvey
Wait a minute.
David Spade
What does when you go to. You want to bring a bunch of.
Julie Bowen
We would always bring somebody and then. And then we'd be in the middle of conversation and he'd go, yeah, save it, save it. Save it for next time. No, he was always worried we'd have run out of things to talk about. I was like, I've never had anything so true.
Dana Carvey
He does do that.
Julie Bowen
He does. Save it, save it, save it, save it.
Dana Carvey
Save it for when we have.
Julie Bowen
Save it. I don't know. You're always worried we're not gonna have anything to talk about.
David Spade
Guess what? We ran out.
Julie Bowen
We did not. We never ran out of shit to talk about.
David Spade
See, it was good. We haven't talked for a year. Cause now we have all this stuff we added.
Julie Bowen
See, we saved it.
David Spade
Oh, give me this fucking save it.
Julie Bowen
Save it, save it.
Dana Carvey
If you can understand it, it's yours. Save it.
Julie Bowen
For our next dinner at Nibbler.
David Spade
Dane. I'm a little bit of a spendy Susie.
Dana Carvey
A boozy Susie and a spendy Susie.
David Spade
I'm more of a boozy Susie, but yeah, you are.
Dana Carvey
You are a spendy spender. Yeah.
David Spade
And a lot of our listeners are nice enough to write in and say you look like you drank a lot and slept on your face. But that's just constructive criticism.
Dana Carvey
Well, it's very concise and you don't really drink very much. I'll tell the fans.
David Spade
But just puffy. This is where Klarna comes in. Klarna is your everyday smarter spending partner, which is what a lot of people need. A lot of my friends definitely need it. It allows you to make smarter decisions with your money. And it's sometimes good to have a partner like that.
Dana Carvey
I'll say it again. Klarna, which I assume is Swedish. Klarna is your smarter everyday spending partner.
David Spade
Shoppers can use Klarna's pay in for product to split their purchase into four interest free payments.
Dana Carvey
That's right. Here's some key takeaways. Listen up, brother. Klarna offers a pay in for product where you don't have to pay interest. I think that's a good thing.
David Spade
You can pay with Klarna at merchant checkout in the Klarna app or with the Klarna card.
Dana Carvey
You can also compare prices at your favorite stores and earn cash back when you shop in the app.
David Spade
They're making effortless for in app shoppers to get more value from Every purchase. So choose Klarna your favorite retailers or shop now@klarna.com CA resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California Finance Law License NMLS number 1353190 Klarna balance account required.
Dana Carvey
Klarna may get a commission. Limitations, terms and conditions apply. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna say it. It's a Klarna summer. David As a small business owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early.
David Spade
I do not.
Dana Carvey
Your business is on your mind 24 7. When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in. LinkedIn makes it easy to post your job for free, share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place.
David Spade
You know, I will give you an example. When I was hired growing up, every job I had I got fired from. And if they had LinkedIn, they probably.
Dana Carvey
Would have got a perfect record.
David Spade
Someone better, you know, but they get me and I'm some scrub. But now it's more advanced. Like someone like Heather who's very good at her job. You get someone like LinkedIn would get her and say, here's someone that really works hard and knows what they're doing. But a lot of times you don't get that.
Dana Carvey
No, it's just, it's the new way of doing this. LinkedIn's new feature can help you write job descriptions and then quickly get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights. Either post your job for free or pay to promote promoted jobs. Get three times more qualified applicants.
David Spade
At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality of candidates. And with LinkedIn, you can feel confident you're getting the best. Based on some LinkedIn data, 72% of small businesses using LinkedIn say that LinkedIn helps them find high quality candidates.
Dana Carvey
You can let your network know you're hiring. You can even add a hashtag hiring frame to your profile Picture and get two times more qualified candidates. Find out why more than 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring today. Find your next great hire on LinkedIn.
David Spade
Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com candidates. That's LinkedIn.com candidates to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. And Nibblers.
Dana Carvey
Nibblers. Isn't that right next to Pirates of the Caribbean?
Julie Bowen
Nibblers was down on. Nibblers was on. It had an early bird special. I don't remember if we ever, I.
David Spade
Think, did we ever go to residuals? That's a Real bar.
Julie Bowen
They have a 5pm dinner.
David Spade
Do you know residuals?
Julie Bowen
Yes.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
David Spade
It's a bar that people should know about in la, in the Valley, where if you bring your residual check, if it's under a dollar, you get a free drink.
Julie Bowen
I thought he had.
Dana Carvey
I got tons of.
David Spade
And they put it on the wall.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
David Spade
But since all of mine are under a dollar now, I could really clean up.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I got one.
Julie Bowen
There are no more residuals.
David Spade
Oh, really?
Julie Bowen
I mean.
David Spade
Oh, I mean. Well, strike worked.
Dana Carvey
It seemed like the whole business went.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, no, I don't. I don't feel that it worked. Is it a hot take?
David Spade
I feel like.
Dana Carvey
Well, it's just proven that.
Julie Bowen
Well, they were like. It was. I mean, it's so inside baseball and probably your viewers. Listeners.
Dana Carvey
No, no, they got it.
David Spade
Covid. Strike. Yeah. All that stuff did not.
Dana Carvey
Sometimes you lose for winning.
Julie Bowen
You know, it was. It was. I guess we made strides in AI, But I don't know.
Dana Carvey
I think is the genie in the ball. I think there was no way to stuff it back.
Julie Bowen
But, you know, they did. They did. They managed to take every single, like, show, like, every network show ever that now goes to streaming. They. There's. You get a.
Dana Carvey
Like.
Julie Bowen
There's a very complicated math formula. Adds up to one center anyway. So if they touch all of it, it's all gone.
David Spade
If they took a show like just shooting.
Julie Bowen
Let's just say.
David Spade
I'm not gonna say Modern Family. It's too easy.
Julie Bowen
Where you were nominated.
David Spade
A classic for Golden Globe. Two Emmys. Okay, I'll let you. I need it.
Dana Carvey
Did you win?
David Spade
You know, I don't even know. I don't remember because it's all about being nominated. Let's talk about this soon.
Dana Carvey
Save it for next.
David Spade
Don't use her ammo against me.
Dana Carvey
I thought it was a good one. It's a good. A good option.
David Spade
Well, the problem is everything she can say is going to be funny about it. So I. And I stay quiet.
Julie Bowen
That's what we met. We met at the Golden Globes.
David Spade
Oh, we did meet at the Golden Globes.
Dana Carvey
She has a photographic memory when it comes to you.
Julie Bowen
Well, I. I remember meeting him because he was like, hey, I know you.
David Spade
Oh, boy.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, I love.
David Spade
Everything has to be a disaster. And I think I kicked you in the butt. And I said, what's up, loser?
Julie Bowen
No. You asked me. You're like, ah, why do I. I know you. And I said, no, you don't.
David Spade
Yeah, from your Neutrogena commercial. No, no, you were on Ed.
Julie Bowen
I was On Ed. I don't even know what I was on at the time. It was a long time ago.
David Spade
But you're actually also very pretty, so you didn't really have to be on tv.
Julie Bowen
I told you I was a dog walker. Oh, and you believed me. And then you went away. He's like. You, like, faded quickly.
Dana Carvey
That was a true side gig. While. Until you made one, I guess.
David Spade
No, you're just trying to get rid of me.
Julie Bowen
He was like, trying to go, like, you know the thing where people like, how do I know you? And you're like, that's not on me to tell you. So I was like, I don't know. Maybe I've walked your dog. He goes, I don't have a dog. And I said, well, I'm a dog walker.
David Spade
Then she walked away.
Dana Carvey
Oh, okay. I'm a dog. I'm a dog walker. It's a. It's a little seductive.
David Spade
She's a dog walker.
Dana Carvey
I can make a doggy go roll around. No, I can make a doggy sit up and beg. I mean, there's a lot there I didn't go for.
David Spade
I was super nice. And then I tracked you down somehow.
Julie Bowen
Right through your publicist. Well, we didn't have how else any other way.
David Spade
You live in New York. I lived in la. Okay.
Dana Carvey
I remember the night you met her. And you said, I met this really see cool chick, and her name is Jan Beeman.
David Spade
Where did you meet me?
Dana Carvey
I go, jan Beeman.
Julie Bowen
You guys probably met at I know.
Dana Carvey
Where I met you and guessed why. I shouldn't even give it away. No, we don't have to give the address away. Eric Idle is now renting that house in Beechwood Canyon where I met David.
Julie Bowen
Well, who was. Who was living there at the time?
Dana Carvey
Kevin Nealon was living there. I was living there. David lived there after I got snl. Kevin got snl, and then David got snl.
David Spade
No, I ran into his house.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
While they were on snl, it had.
Dana Carvey
I lived in the garage to save money with my wife. We had a hot plate and no.
Julie Bowen
Kitchen in the garage.
Dana Carvey
Actually, on the top of the garage. 300 square feet. But in this house, for some reason, I got lucky enough to get snl. They said they needed. They wanted a tall guy. I said, you know, Kevin Neal, he's like 6, 5. So Kevin got on David.
Julie Bowen
Why didn't his tall guy?
Dana Carvey
It was a throwaway. But I don't think that's exactly why Kevin got it.
Julie Bowen
I mean. I mean, exactly. Well, they had me will fill it Yourself. When you don't get it, you're like, they. They were just trying to round the cast out with tall guys.
Dana Carvey
I think Lauren is. At his core. It is kind of like a sitcom. Like, he didn't. You don't even. Jim Carrey's a genius, but you don't want five Jim Carrey's. You want this balance of stuff. That's the way he does it. So it filled in nicely. But then David got Saturday night.
David Spade
No. I ran into Kevin's room. He saw me in the improv in the hallway. And I go, oh, I'm getting kicked out of John Mulroney's house.
Dana Carvey
He goes, okay.
David Spade
Oh, you know what? I'm going to snl. Do you want to rent a room with this two other comedians? And I said, yeah. So I rented it. When he came home with Dana, they would tell me about snl and Kevin was sleeping on the couch. And that's how I met Dana. And then. But it didn't cross my mind ever to go on snl.
Dana Carvey
Whoa.
Julie Bowen
Let's back up to. You were living at John Mulroney's. Oh, Mulroney's.
David Spade
He's a comedian. You don't want to know.
Julie Bowen
I thought you said Mulvaney was Bob Dubeck.
Dana Carvey
Still. Was Paula still over the garage when you were there?
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Oh, so my wife lived over the garage.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Because I was in New York, like three Danas.
David Spade
Because your wife has blonde hair.
Dana Carvey
We all were Very, very blonde.
Julie Bowen
And you were all named Dana.
Dana Carvey
You could have moved Dana.
Julie Bowen
I could have.
David Spade
So I stayed there. And then they came back, and then eventually they. Dennis Miller helped recommend me. They helped. And then just. I was using stand up, so. And then I. When I got on. That's why it took me a while to get going, because I just knew how to kind of write but not write sketches.
Dana Carvey
He wrote. Yeah. He used to be my writer.
David Spade
Yeah. And they go write for Dana. And I'm like, yeah.
Dana Carvey
It was kind of weird, though, because.
Julie Bowen
You wrote for him.
Dana Carvey
Well, they would ask him to write for me. But Lauren also said to me, if anything happens with you, David's always there. Like he was there.
Julie Bowen
Like he was another version.
Dana Carvey
Yes. And he would sit behind me and read through, and sometimes he'd pull back on my chair a little bit. Cut out, man.
David Spade
When are you leaving?
Dana Carvey
But also, we toured. He was my opener. We did stand up, and he would give me some jokes and stuff. He's a great writer.
David Spade
Not funny. We go out, beep, bop, beep.
Julie Bowen
Wait, you got. I cannot Imagine. I did not know you were that, like, he was literally waiting for you to, like, take a sick day.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
Or.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. He was just sort of being groomed. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I. I had caught in Churchill is my character, and then I left it at that place in Beechwood Canyon when I went back to snl. When I came back, I couldn't find it. I looked through the window where David was staying, and he was sitting there looking in the mirror dressed as a church lady. Not in the shower, but just at a chair.
Julie Bowen
You were dressed as church lady, just vacuuming.
David Spade
And I go, oh, Dana, you're home with day.
Julie Bowen
Oh, Satan.
Dana Carvey
Do you have early day? I. I was curious about two things. I'm going to unpack it. One is just you as a little girl, and then you ending up being a huge TV star and a movie star and whatever star. You became a star. You're famous, and you were just a little girl.
David Spade
What started it?
Dana Carvey
And so what did Julie see? What did you watch? What toy did you have? Did you have a doll? Who were you? Who were you? Because it's so freaky to become famous in acting or comedy.
Julie Bowen
It is, it is, it is. The odds are vastly stacked against you, especially when I didn't watch TV as a child.
David Spade
What were you in Baltimore?
Julie Bowen
I was in Baltimore when we didn't have cable or any. I mean, it was like. And we weren't really allowed to watch TV except for specials. Do you guys remember that? Like, it was like. It would say special, and then it would spin around the sea, and it was this sort of disco kind of font. And if it was a special, we could watch it and then we could record it. And so I had three movies recorded probably on Betamax that we watched.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
Endlessly. I knew every word to it was Sound of Music.
Dana Carvey
Oh, God. I want to talk about that. Go ahead.
Julie Bowen
Gone with the Wind.
David Spade
Never saw. Never saw.
Julie Bowen
Bugsy Malone.
Dana Carvey
Bugsy Malone.
Julie Bowen
Bugsy Malone was my. The formative. Like, I was obsessed with Bugsy Malone. Jodie Foster, Jody Foster as a child, but like a prostitute.
Dana Carvey
Y.
Julie Bowen
Kind of like she was Tallulah. And it was so inappropriate.
Dana Carvey
And that was.
Julie Bowen
Oh, I was like, there's everything is wrong with this, and I know every word to them.
Dana Carvey
And how old were you when you're watching?
Julie Bowen
Oh, my God. Probably like between 10, like, 9 12.
Dana Carvey
So how big a family? How many kids?
Julie Bowen
There's three girls.
Dana Carvey
And so during the week, you just did your homework. You weren't watching, like, the Last in the Prairie or Batman or I mean.
Julie Bowen
I would watch MASH in the kitchen TV when my. If my mom was out, because she would be going to pick up my other sisters from somewhere, and I would be like. I would watch mash, but I'd turn it off really fast because we weren't supposed to watch TV on school.
Dana Carvey
You're so disciplined. Did you ever give any guff to your parents? I got.
Julie Bowen
No. I was.
Dana Carvey
Shut up, dad.
Julie Bowen
Really, really, like the perfect child. This is bad, because then you get. That makes you crazy later.
Dana Carvey
Here you be. My. My. My mom asked me, what are you going to do today? And I'll be me.
Julie Bowen
Okay. What are you doing today, David?
Dana Carvey
Whatever I want.
David Spade
Jesus.
Dana Carvey
Napoleon Dynamite.
Julie Bowen
You did not do that.
Dana Carvey
I was trying to do Napoleon Dynamite.
David Spade
I'll be.
Dana Carvey
Hey, Napoleon, what are you doing? Whatever I want.
David Spade
God, get away from me.
Dana Carvey
Get away from me.
Julie Bowen
Oh, no, I did. I like.
Dana Carvey
So you were just a goodie.
David Spade
Doing my chores, did my homework.
Julie Bowen
I did.
Dana Carvey
And then you became a backseat Patty when you got to Hollywood.
Julie Bowen
What's a backseat patty?
David Spade
A.
Julie Bowen
An iron promiscuous woman.
Dana Carvey
I heard this figure of speech based on some other famous person. I always thought it was so funny. Oh, she was a backseat patty.
Julie Bowen
I don't know what that means.
David Spade
A little slutty?
Julie Bowen
I don't know. No, I was not. I was told when I got out to LA and I had friends out here who were starting to. They were backseat pattying.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
And someone said, don't do that. You can always sleep your way to the middle. And I was like, okay.
David Spade
You pulled your Penelope Prude act on la, right?
Julie Bowen
Yeah, that's right.
Dana Carvey
Backseat Patty. I don't know.
Julie Bowen
Backseat Patty. Penelope Prude. Yeah, I would. I. I just. The thing that we would do. You asked, like, what we were doing instead of watching.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah.
Julie Bowen
We did plays. We put on plays in the backyard and we did plays and plays.
Dana Carvey
And the three of you with neighborhood.
Julie Bowen
Kids or just neighborhood kids? Everybody.
Dana Carvey
We got a little stage. Yeah.
David Spade
Did no one get the bug as hard as you? Who did you get the bug for? Acting. But they didn't as much.
Julie Bowen
No, no. Molly, my older sister. You know, Molly. You call her Trolley, which. I don't know.
Dana Carvey
Molly the Trolley.
Julie Bowen
But Molly. Molly's actually a much better actress than I am. Always has been. But she didn't have the ability to, like, hear, like, no. And go on auditions, and people would be like, no, thank you. And I was. I. I was tougher in that regard.
David Spade
It's a brutal game.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. That's the thing that People miss because they. I mean, it's not anyone's fault, but they'll see on TV being loose and funnier on a talk show. And they don't realize the percentage of just suffering that goes on. I mean, maybe there's exceptions, Bob Dylan or the Beatles, but for most of us, it's a slog of disappointment.
Julie Bowen
The Beatles played in a strip club for years.
Dana Carvey
You mean in Hamburg? We sat for a plunk, Julie. You know, we sat for a plunk. And John would look at me, I look at him. It's like looking at a mirror. I can't not do it. I'm not getting around here.
David Spade
My cold reading when I'm behind Okie Dog giving a BJ behind a glory hole. Gone. Did I get it?
Julie Bowen
Yeah, exactly. But there's.
Dana Carvey
Because there's no joy, David.
Julie Bowen
There's no joy, only relief. Like, they're like, well, we're going to have to get you. You're going to have to audition. And then, well, we want you to audition again. Then we're going to do chemistry reads. And by the time you actually get a job, you're like, really? You still want.
Dana Carvey
So beaten down.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, you are beaten down.
Dana Carvey
What was your low point? Did you like, okay, I'm going to try to go. I'm going to Hollywood, everybody, and try to make it. And you maybe have some little something where you're like, maybe this isn't going to happen. Well, horrible audition. You walked out.
Julie Bowen
I had. I put. I was super pregnant when I auditioned for Modern Family with twins. And I'd been working, but I knew this was gonna be a good show. And they just kept calling me and looking at my stomach going, like. And I was like, what? They can't. I guess by law they weren't allowed to ask me, like, when are you due? And they kept sort of looking at me. I was like, I'm never getting this job. They keep bringing me. Everybody in the entire world has auditioned for this. And there was another project going at the same time, same network, that. And the character was pregnant. And they were like, they wanted me to test for that and they wanted me to test for Modern Families. But I had to pick. You've got to pick which one's gonna be in first position. So I picked the other show.
David Spade
Smart.
Julie Bowen
Because it wasn't the better show, but I needed a job, better chance, and I wanted a job not to. Like, I didn't.
Dana Carvey
You got mouths to feed.
Julie Bowen
Yeah. And I was making two more at the time. And God bless Steve Levitan found Out and actually emailed me and was like, like, what are you doing? What are you doing? We. We really want you. And I was like, you just stand around and look at my stomach all day. They go. He goes, when? When is that baby due? I said, oh, no, there's two of them. There's a lot longer to go. That's what they were trying to figure out.
Dana Carvey
Right.
David Spade
So you are pregnant, fatso.
Julie Bowen
They just shot it the way I. We shot it, and I hid behind things.
David Spade
And then. Then you had a break to have them while they picked it up or something.
Julie Bowen
I. I had him. The day we got picked up is, oh, Steve levitan called me May 7th because I was in labor and I was hanging out. Being in labor. It sounds like it's really intense, but it's kind of boring. And I was like, you know, hanging out, and my phone rings and I answered it, and he's like, the show got picked up and they're going to show the whole pilot. And I was like, that's awesome. He's like, any chance you can make it to upfronts in New York? I was like, I don't think so. And he's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, chew me up. I'm having a baby.
David Spade
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
He was like, or two. And he was like, I'm in Leo now, so. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Did you ever ask him that one? It got around. Like, someone else really wants Julie. There's nothing more powerful than that in life than. She's actually got a thing over here.
David Spade
They were.
Dana Carvey
You know, I don't know if they would have picked you anyway, but that was double your power.
Julie Bowen
You know what? It probably doesn't hurt. I'm sure it helped. Yeah, but it was. I went home and I sobbed because then I tried to get put Modern Family in first position, and they wouldn't let me. They're like, can't be done. Just can't be done. I'm like, it's the same network. You just. If. What do you mean it can't be done?
David Spade
Can't they just hire you without.
Dana Carvey
Is this a rumor that your two boys are named Ed o' Neill?
Julie Bowen
Yeah. That is definitely no.
David Spade
I have a quick story about Jennifer Aniston.
Dana Carvey
Just want to clarify.
David Spade
Jennifer's mom lived by. In my condos. And then I met Jennifer when she was kind of newer but auditioning. So she had auditioned for Friends, and then she got another thing. It was called muddling through or something.
Julie Bowen
It was with Paul Rudd.
David Spade
Okay. It was with Paul Rudd. Okay. And then she goes. I hope now she hoped it. The friends one went, but I think one got. What happened? Did it get picked up? And then it got.
Julie Bowen
I. I don't remember. I just remember that they were like, oh. And then friends got picked up and. And she was like, oh, shit, what am I going to do? And then it turned out to be the right thing.
David Spade
Obviously it turned. It was a big hit.
Dana Carvey
Did you ever turn down something that was a hit or miss it? Barely.
Julie Bowen
I didn't. I didn't audition for some stuff that I didn't. On the page. I wasn't.
Dana Carvey
You didn't?
Julie Bowen
No, I didn't audition for 40 year old virgin, but it was Liz Banks anyhow, so, you know, whenever it's. If it's going to be Liz Banks, it's going to be Liz Banks.
David Spade
She is great.
Julie Bowen
But I didn't. I had. They had little kids. I was really busy and I was tired and I was reading. I was just like, I don't. I'm not sure I'm getting it. And then you see it and you go, you're an idiot.
David Spade
So funny.
Julie Bowen
You're an idiot. Movie.
David Spade
And then drove and had to blow that.
Julie Bowen
What was that?
David Spade
Is that what her part was?
Julie Bowen
I don't remember.
David Spade
Yeah, she asked if she hits on Steve girl. She. She blows the breath to start the car and then she starts hitting all the cars.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
Was that Leslie?
Julie Bowen
No, that was Leslie. That was in. That was in. That was in. Knocked Up.
David Spade
Leslie Mann, Seth Rogen. She's great too. Yeah.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Elizabeth Banks is non sequitur. Just so we can cut it out. She called me once. The 90s or something. She. She had an idea of a script where she didn't know who her dad was and it was me.
Julie Bowen
And you were like, wait, what.
Dana Carvey
What about that, Brian? I could do the church life for you.
David Spade
What about that Bryan Cranston idea where.
Julie Bowen
Who's the Brian Cranston?
David Spade
Where they were, like, trying to kill Dana Carr. The whole thing was.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah. No, that was someone writing a. Though season two of the. Are the Australian guy we just had on.
David Spade
Oh, who? Oh, Jim Jeffries.
Dana Carvey
Jim Jeffries had a sitcom on and then the third season was going to be. I was going to be his dad or he's. I was going to kill or something. I don't know.
David Spade
He was going to kidnap you for the whole whole season.
Dana Carvey
But did you ever really struggle? Did you eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and like, struggle to get an agent? You know that phase?
Julie Bowen
Yeah. No, I lived in New York after college. And I waited a lot of tables.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
A lot of tables. You did. And I. Yes. And I, I. I did every random job you could. I was a reader at hbo. I labeled teacups, some random woman. I. I do anything I got hired for.
Dana Carvey
Right.
Julie Bowen
Other than Backseat Patty.
David Spade
It's Backseat Patty.
Dana Carvey
Patty. We got the name of the episode.
Julie Bowen
I did not. Backseat.
Dana Carvey
No, no, no. Not at all.
Julie Bowen
But yeah, no, I definitely.
Dana Carvey
And did you ever get discouraged? Like, sort of, God, this isn't gonna happen for me. That's what I was trying to get to. Did you have doubts?
Julie Bowen
Yes.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
Oh, a thousand. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
All right.
Julie Bowen
Yeah. Especially when I was auditioning in New York and I was just getting commercials and TV shows. I know, sorry. I was getting commercials, like episodic. And all I wanted to be was a theater act actor. I wanted, like, serious theater. And never was, never hired.
Dana Carvey
Not even Sound of Music, your favorite movie.
Julie Bowen
I mean, it's. It's a musical. It's a tight three way race, you know?
Dana Carvey
I mean, what's the other two? For musicals.
Julie Bowen
Oh, for musicals. I can't see. Never seen it. I've never seen it. Is that bad? I mean, we're gonna have to go with bucks.
David Spade
I never saw a Sound of Music, obviously.
Dana Carvey
It's wicked smart.
Julie Bowen
And you, you can sing.
Dana Carvey
I don't think he can sing it. I can sing as Neil Young. That's the only way I can sing.
Julie Bowen
You can sing as Neil Young?
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
Can you sing as anybody else?
Dana Carvey
I think that's probably my best way.
David Spade
To say as Dana.
Dana Carvey
I don't have a voice. I don't have a face. I don't have a personality. You got to stick a nose on me or give me some voice. I mean, I'm a completely neutral, invisible person.
Julie Bowen
But you know who I all struck by was ariana Grande on SNL50. Doing that. Had she every single singer ever. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
She's amazing.
Julie Bowen
And I don't think she's had like, she looks like a waif. She looks like a tiny little, little wave. And my Lord.
David Spade
Wait, was it the sketch where she comes in and sings Everybody. She's saying she does impressions. She's so. She's funny as.
Dana Carvey
She's amazing.
David Spade
She does.
Dana Carvey
I did Jennifer Coolidge with her on that show.
Julie Bowen
That's right. That was great. And oh, my God, that was so good. That was great. There were three. Jennifer K. Three. Yeah. Because it was Chloe.
Dana Carvey
I don't know.
Julie Bowen
Oh, what am I doing?
Dana Carvey
But she's kind of shy. And then by the time we Rehearsed it. Yeah. Standoffish. And then by the time we did.
Julie Bowen
It on, she cut that out.
Dana Carvey
No, I mean, she. Then she cut. Then once. She knows.
Julie Bowen
You're not going to murder me.
David Spade
No.
Dana Carvey
She's a little shy. And then when she gets out there, it's like power, you know, she's incredible, you know, but she's not on every second, but adorable person. We want to have her on the podcast. After we could, too.
Julie Bowen
Come on.
David Spade
After we could do.
Dana Carvey
After we could do. So the first time you got something where you said, holy, I may have a career, is it Modern Family? Was it that?
Julie Bowen
No, no.
Dana Carvey
Happy Gilmore you did in 90.
Julie Bowen
Happy Gilmore was my first movie.
Dana Carvey
Oh, okay.
Julie Bowen
That was.
Dana Carvey
And it's a classic.
Julie Bowen
But I didn't think at the time it was like, like. I mean, it was made for barely any money. Up in Canada, we had a black. It was so fun. But I didn't ever think anybody was gonna see it. I didn't. I thought it was just like a little. I thought it was like a fun, weird little movie.
David Spade
You never know. You never know.
Julie Bowen
And then you. Yeah. You really never.
Dana Carvey
You never know. It was Sandler's second one, I think.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, it was.
David Spade
What was that Tim Allen movie you did?
Julie Bowen
Oh, when you came here for the premiere.
Dana Carvey
Joe Somebody is the name of it.
Julie Bowen
Joe Somebody. Why. Why did you just bring that up?
David Spade
Because I was thinking of movies. I was like, you came in.
Julie Bowen
I have not been in very many movies.
David Spade
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
I'm not like people. Don't they like me in the. In the kitchen next to the refrigerator, waving my fingers.
David Spade
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David Spade
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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Dana Carvey
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Dana Carvey
Learn more@ring.com Would you ever do a highly sexualized woman?
Julie Bowen
I mean, that's the question.
Dana Carvey
With a younger man like, you think you would.
Julie Bowen
You want to? I want to. But then you go, oh, people get. They can't. They don't want Claire Dunphy doing that.
Dana Carvey
You know, but, oh, yeah, you do have that.
Julie Bowen
I know. I. But I'm trying to figure out how you shake that without being disrespected.
David Spade
Would you be embarrassed shooting, like, the super horny girl getting ramrod? It just. I watched Nicole Kidman. I was like, God dang, Nicole. You saw too.
Dana Carvey
You. Actually, the question is she horny or.
Julie Bowen
Pretending to be horny?
Dana Carvey
Huh.
Julie Bowen
Did you watch with pillows?
Dana Carvey
No.
David Spade
No one's there. They can see my rod.
Dana Carvey
Oh.
Julie Bowen
You know, like, boys, when they watch.
Dana Carvey
Wouldn'T find it sex. You mean. You mean baby girl?
Julie Bowen
Baby girl.
Dana Carvey
I didn't find it sexy when she. I thought it. She's just a great actress.
Julie Bowen
She's a phenomenal actress. But, yeah, I imagine she goes home. It's like, you know, you guys know comedians were. You probably both go home, you're like, shut the up. Like, you're like, you know, I don't.
Dana Carvey
Want to watch comedy. I don't want to watch a sitcom. I want to watch drama or Hitler trying to take over Europe or something. I don't want.
Julie Bowen
You know, you watch the Hitler channel.
Dana Carvey
I'm fascinated. World War II. Yeah. Yes. I'm guilty.
Julie Bowen
Is it? Don't we know everything there is to know now? Like, is there really more?
David Spade
I have a friend, like the JonBenet case. He's a new guy.
Dana Carvey
You can read five books just on D day. You can write ten books on the. The battle of Britain. You can read 12 coming from all different angles because it was the last time we had really analog secrecy in a war. Oh, you know, I fake dummy parachuters and cardboard tanks. Even shine the. No, no.
Julie Bowen
Yes. What that was. And. And Code breakers.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that. The movie with Ben Benedict Cumberbatch.
Julie Bowen
Wind Talkers is his porn name.
Dana Carvey
Well, my name Bender Nick.
David Spade
You know.
Dana Carvey
Okay, wait, we got. That's a mic drop right there. Bender Dick is his port name. Bender Dick. No, he's. He's.
David Spade
They didn't have tick tock, I don't think during World War II.
Julie Bowen
In World War II. No.
Dana Carvey
They had tic tac toe.
Julie Bowen
They did not. They had. Yeah, that's true.
David Spade
The only good thing about wars is when they show like this new one, when they show on the map, the only positive thing is then I find out where that country is, I go, oh, it's right there.
Julie Bowen
Oh, really?
Dana Carvey
I mean, this coverage. Every second Trump may be going in, he's thinking, every second we're hearing about it. We didn't hear anything. During World War II, Dwight D. Eisenhower, for the second day looked at the guy and said, no, he'll decide in seven minutes. You know, everything was secret.
Julie Bowen
And now. And I call bullshit on.
Dana Carvey
I call bullshit.
Julie Bowen
I call bullshit on the breaking news yesterday.
Dana Carvey
Right?
Julie Bowen
Breaking news 5 hours ago.
David Spade
Breaking news.
Dana Carvey
Right.
Julie Bowen
You've got to stop the breaking news. It's too. You can't. Breaking news or Trump made a decision 12 hours ago that everyone's talked about for 12 hours.
David Spade
Yeah, we need new.
Julie Bowen
That's enough.
Dana Carvey
This just in.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Two weeks ago.
David Spade
This recently end.
Julie Bowen
I'm. I'm not.
David Spade
Fairly true news before we go.
Julie Bowen
Oh, wow.
Dana Carvey
So much.
David Spade
I mean, Julie, I thought.
Julie Bowen
What did you say?
David Spade
You fell down. You look exactly perfect.
Julie Bowen
No, don't look. I didn't fall down. I was trimming my trees and I. I got all beat up.
David Spade
You look great. Okay, I'm going to ask you.
Dana Carvey
I got an old.
David Spade
When is the premiere?
Julie Bowen
The. The actual premiere is the 21st. But when does it premiere on Netflix? On the 24th, right?
David Spade
24Th of what? I thought it was so uninvolved.
Dana Carvey
July. It's one of the other 24th.
David Spade
We should all know this.
Julie Bowen
We should all know about. We should know this. But you know what's crazy? That I found out this is. How would a baller move? This is Netflix got the rights to Happy Gilmore 1 and is airing it for the whole month ahead of time. Oh, like right now? Probably right now.
Dana Carvey
So the. They're going to Air 2 and then 1.
Julie Bowen
They're going to Air 1.
Dana Carvey
Oh, Air 1 is on now. Not the grocery store one or one.
Julie Bowen
Air 1. They're going to Happy Gilmore. OG Happy Gilmore. They're airing.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
Even though they.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, because the countries. They didn't see one in Thailand and stuff.
Julie Bowen
That's right.
Dana Carvey
I won't do the act.
David Spade
I think they're buying grownups too. Or grownups also. I think they can expires or something.
Dana Carvey
I heard it's number one in India. Oh, my goodness, that Adam Sandler. He is a kick in the pants.
David Spade
Wait, I'm asking about the premiere because I want to go. When is it?
Julie Bowen
It's the 21st. Molly was just asking me soon or 20 going. I go. That's her first question. She said, are you going to the premiere? And I said, I'm trying to.
Dana Carvey
Where is New York?
Julie Bowen
It's in New York.
Dana Carvey
What theater?
Julie Bowen
Lincoln Center.
Dana Carvey
Lincoln Center.
Julie Bowen
It was originally going to be a Madison Square Garden or something cuckoo. But now it's at Lincoln Center.
Dana Carvey
Really? That would be a plus.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
That's a lot of confidence.
Julie Bowen
Wow. Amazing. I mean, people love that. People are excited for this.
David Spade
God, if you ever want to laugh, go look at the 90s. I was such a premier. I was at so many premieres. It was so embarrassed.
Julie Bowen
Well. You still like a party?
David Spade
No, Julie, you still.
Julie Bowen
I'll still to walk into it occasionally when I leave my house, which is very unusual because I'm not much of a party girl. I'll walk. And there's Spade. Just sort of.
David Spade
Not true. I haven't. I don't go out past nine anymore.
Julie Bowen
That's not true.
Dana Carvey
You don't know when he's not doing standups.
Julie Bowen
I do know. I've got a Google alert.
Dana Carvey
You can. Yeah, he's pretty.
David Spade
Have an air tag on my bumper.
Dana Carvey
We're lock stink. We. When we lock stink. No, we're lock step. When we eat. To eat. It's like 5:30 or 6?
David Spade
6.
Dana Carvey
We're done by 8:30 and I don't know.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, but then he gets his little, like, gotta wander. Mm, no, the rat's gotta wander. And then he kept feeling, you're the rat too.
Dana Carvey
Isn't Theo the rat?
David Spade
Yeah, Theo's the rat.
Julie Bowen
Theo's the rat.
Dana Carvey
Calls himself the rat.
David Spade
You don't know Theo.
Julie Bowen
Theovon, you ever heard of Joe Rogan?
David Spade
Single.
Julie Bowen
My son listens to Theo Von all day long.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
As a matter of fact, he sleeps to it.
David Spade
We should have had you in our movie.
Dana Carvey
Oh, my God.
Julie Bowen
Did I forget to give you a job?
David Spade
I forget to give you a job for no money where you would have to pay us a little bit because it's super low budget.
Julie Bowen
What is this movie? Go on and plug your movie.
David Spade
So stupid. How old's your kid?
Julie Bowen
One's. That one's 18.
Dana Carvey
That'll be good for it.
David Spade
How are the twins?
Julie Bowen
They just turned 16.
Dana Carvey
It's an R rated comedy right up.
David Spade
Yeah, it's right up there.
Dana Carvey
Alley. R rated comedy.
David Spade
Yeah, but actually he said no. He didn't want big stars in it. Not even joking.
Dana Carvey
But he let you in it.
David Spade
I let me in it.
Julie Bowen
Oh, you're the producer.
David Spade
We wrote it. Yeah.
Julie Bowen
Did you pay for it?
David Spade
Yeah, but we didn't try to get it made. We just said let's.
Dana Carvey
I don't want any movie star cameo.
David Spade
Made him to do it.
Dana Carvey
But we've spared him because that would have been negative.
Julie Bowen
So who's in your movie?
David Spade
Most people you wouldn't know.
Julie Bowen
Beautiful and talented.
David Spade
Tim Dillon.
Julie Bowen
Tim Dylan.
David Spade
I knew it.
Dana Carvey
Marshall Dylan.
David Spade
Why? Ask your kid.
Julie Bowen
My kids? Yeah. They will know. They will know.
David Spade
They'll know. Theo and Tim Dillon and maybe Nate Diaz from ufc.
Julie Bowen
Oh, Mike. They definitely know Nate Diaz.
David Spade
Yeah.
Julie Bowen
There's a lot of UFC in my house.
David Spade
Well, maybe I'll go to that premiere. But there's a problem. I know right now when you say it out loud.
Julie Bowen
What?
David Spade
That I have a conflict.
Julie Bowen
What? You're playing a gig. The.
David Spade
No, I'm go. I'm going out for a golf trip.
Julie Bowen
With who?
David Spade
You. Shut up, Julie.
Julie Bowen
I know.
David Spade
Don't you get like this.
Julie Bowen
Arizona rats.
Dana Carvey
Stop tape.
David Spade
No, I'm trading all those guys for celebrities.
Julie Bowen
Is this gonna be Tiger again? Again?
David Spade
Exactly.
Julie Bowen
Last time.
David Spade
Exactly.
Julie Bowen
What happened?
David Spade
You played.
Julie Bowen
He crashed. He crashed his car like 10 minutes.
David Spade
I said, are you gonna. You wan go have dinner after this? He goes, no, I'm going to crash.
Julie Bowen
I mean, that's not funny. It's a funny joke.
David Spade
He crashed. We. It was getting dark. He finished and then didn't even have the balls asking for his number. I never asked a guy for their number. So he went home and I was like, that was super fun.
Julie Bowen
Slid into his DMs immediately.
David Spade
I did not.
Julie Bowen
She did.
David Spade
The next day I saw the car upside down. I was like, oh. And I go, I didn't think there's any way he could survive that. And when you see a picture of the car.
Julie Bowen
Yeah. It didn't look.
David Spade
And I go, oh. And I was like, dming. Like, are you okay? Just say hi. Just let me know.
Julie Bowen
Just. Just because I was with you.
Dana Carvey
I'm just worried.
Julie Bowen
I am. I am trauma adjacent, and it's really important.
David Spade
He'll never go for walking. And then three days later, he's already better than David Spade again. I'm like, God damn, he's already better than.
Julie Bowen
What the quote was.
David Spade
Yeah, he was.
Dana Carvey
Well, wait a minute. Did you say the quote on one of our podcasts? It was so. I was jealous of it. It was so awesome. You were. You and Tiger are golfing.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And he's talking to you about your shot.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
You do your swing.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And Tiger says, oh, we have.
David Spade
We have two drones, 80 people behind us. I think Peter Berg might have been directing. Directing a little show.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, Peter Berg.
David Spade
About giving me lessons.
Dana Carvey
The Friday Night Lights guy.
Julie Bowen
That guy.
David Spade
I think it was him.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
Okay.
David Spade
And then.
Dana Carvey
Great.
David Spade
So it's so much pressure. And he goes, well, let's try you out. Let's just go to the practice range. Let's. Why don't you try to chip 1, 150 out up there to that flag? And I'm like this. And then, because he's just standing there, and I go, chip. And it hits about five feet away and he goes, oh, are you good?
Dana Carvey
Isn't that great? That's your Tiger woods about where you go. And I've heard, which I guess we talked about on Superv, which is now defined, that Lovett's told me that David's actually a really good golfer. No, he never told me.
David Spade
No, I'm a little better than Lovett's, but Lovett's started this. This two years ago. Julie, I know your limo is waiting outside.
Julie Bowen
No, my limo's not waiting. Tell me what love. Are you going to the golf tournament? No, Lovitz is in the movie. He's going to be at the premiere.
David Spade
Hello.
Julie Bowen
He is.
David Spade
Hello, Julie.
Julie Bowen
Where can you turn in the last month?
Dana Carvey
Where do you run into him?
Julie Bowen
He was a. He was a clipper game. Oh, yes.
David Spade
He goes to clipper games a lot.
Julie Bowen
Well, he goes with gervy and. But according to Love it, he doesn't actually know what's going on.
David Spade
He doesn't. Or Gervitz doesn't?
Julie Bowen
I think Lovett doesn't. Doesn't care.
Dana Carvey
Are you a basketball kind of love obsessed?
David Spade
We went to a game.
Julie Bowen
We did. You took me and by the way, nicest thing you ever did. Thank you. No, it was a Knicks playoff game.
Dana Carvey
It was good seats.
Julie Bowen
It was Nick's.
David Spade
We did.
Dana Carvey
It was a playoff game.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, it was a playoff game. It was not front row it was courtroom side.
Dana Carvey
No, no, you don't want to be on the court. Can't see as well.
David Spade
Yes, it was. And it was way down at the end where it was sort of with the cameraman. Like it was sort of buried. But Julie, you swear, you say it. Yes, and then we'll figure it out later.
Julie Bowen
Okay? No, it wasn't you. We got free tickets once to go. I probably sat courtside because it was like an agent thing or something. But you actually, you actually went into your tiny arms. Went into the very deep pockets.
David Spade
Oh, I bought some.
Julie Bowen
The short arms went into the deep pockets and you bought up and they were great seats. But you were like, how embarrassing. I remember you sitting there going, they were expensive. I thought we'd be closer. I was like, this is close. This is amazing.
David Spade
They were 5,000 each. I remember that because they were incredible. I, I, I was like, where are we anyway now? What about. Who did I have call you on your birthday? Do you remember this?
Julie Bowen
Are you kidding me?
David Spade
Okay.
Julie Bowen
Stevie Nicks.
David Spade
Okay.
Julie Bowen
He had Stevie Nicks call me and sing Landslide into my.
David Spade
Okay.
Julie Bowen
Answering machine in New York. He dumped me on the same answering machine.
David Spade
Okay, okay, well, let's so, you know, listen.
Julie Bowen
Potato, potato. Anyway, we had a great casting machine.
Dana Carvey
That's pretty.
David Spade
Julie Bowen.
Dana Carvey
I, I hung out from Modern Family.
David Spade
She held my hand from Joe Somebody.
Julie Bowen
She did.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Just casually like this and talk.
Julie Bowen
I would. It was, it was crazy. It was, that was a, that was a baller move.
David Spade
Okay. That was a huge. So that's, that was better than our ninth proceeds.
Dana Carvey
Great female rock voices in history.
David Spade
Yeah. We went over this.
Dana Carvey
Stevie Nicks, she's up there. There was one that I didn't get that I think was also Anna.
Julie Bowen
Nancy Wilson, Janice Joplin.
Dana Carvey
Janet Joplin is more hard rock.
Julie Bowen
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
But we never had a voice.
Julie Bowen
Was never. And, and that was going to be, it was going to be a short lived experience.
Dana Carvey
But we, we do have, we have it recorded. What she was. Yeah, but Stevie Nicks is kind of the voice.
Julie Bowen
She's the greatest and still can sing.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah.
Julie Bowen
Sing. It's amazing. It's not like when you feel bad sometimes they trot people out and they. Everybody's clapping. You're like, oh my God.
Dana Carvey
Why are you doing. Now Here you go again. You watch your freedom. Sing it right now.
Julie Bowen
No way. As Stevie no, I can't. I cannot sing. Okay.
Dana Carvey
I just in case.
Julie Bowen
David will I was my hero. I remember seeing her behind the music. Remember those horrible behind the music?
Dana Carvey
Oh yeah, yeah.
Julie Bowen
She Talked about how much blow she did and how she had to get crew members just to blow it up her. Her butt. And I was just like, that is commitment.
David Spade
They were giving you a diet coke.
Julie Bowen
No, her doctor said, if you do any more blow, you're going to. It's going to like, the membrane between your nose and your brain or something will bust. And so she's like, all right, it's up the pooper. And I thought, wow. She. I always just thought she was sort of airy, fairy, kind of clever in a way.
Dana Carvey
Off limits. Where else can I put it?
David Spade
I thought when I didn't know now that it would go up her butt. I go, how far does it have to get to get to her nose?
Julie Bowen
Oh, my God, that's so long.
David Spade
If it gets there, it's worth it.
Dana Carvey
But your curiosity, because that is like. Well, yeah.
David Spade
Those are called booty bumps, aren't they? They were when I did them. All right, let's go.
Dana Carvey
What?
David Spade
We got to go.
Julie Bowen
All right, fine.
David Spade
All right. Thank you, though.
Julie Bowen
Julia Dane has got his whole paper and everything else.
David Spade
We're have to have you on again because that's the trick. We'll talk. We didn't. I can't talk about.
Dana Carvey
No, we didn't even talk.
David Spade
Save stuff.
Dana Carvey
We could never run out of stuff to talk about. No, we saved stuff because you're just.
Julie Bowen
Save it. Save it. David should have a talk show called save it.
Dana Carvey
Don't record this. But what about you with a little daytime talk show?
David Spade
Yeah, you should do it. Why don't you take over for Kelly?
Dana Carvey
Kelly Clarkson.
David Spade
Take over, Kelly Clarkson.
Julie Bowen
You can do it.
Dana Carvey
And then who would if you wanted to do it.
David Spade
And it will come on yours.
Julie Bowen
You know what? I hosted for Kimmel once and I Dinner with you after.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Julie Bowen
I never been so. Like, I was shaking and you were like, yeah, yeah, I'm doing two next week. And I did two last week. And I was like, I did one. And I was, no, it's terrifying. I had to lie down on the. In the restroom floor, and there's hair and makeup and people. And I just. I lay on the ground, Someone took a picture. People just walking over me. They're like, lever. I was like, I can't go out there. I can't do it.
David Spade
Because now you can do it. It's easier because you did one. But they throw so much shit. It's like hosting snl. They throw so much at you. Once you do it, once you go, okay, now I know when to be nervous and when to get I gotta pace it out.
Julie Bowen
Cause this pace out my nerves.
Dana Carvey
It was a nightmare. Because the first night I did it, I didn't really practice before Quentin Tarantino was coming out. The guests that I wanted and they got them. I had to do, like, 10 minutes of coming attractions. Oh, Promise and Bing Flecko will be playing. Oh, no. You got one thing wrong. To do it over again. So it's over and over. The person who was coaching me had headphones and took them off. The audiences get very. Wait.
Julie Bowen
Kimmel.
Dana Carvey
Kimmel. You know, like, I'm hosting Tarantino's in the wings, and it's just unraveling.
David Spade
You go like this, hey, Bob and Ginger in Portland, we're gonna do those after Julie Bowen. No, they do them during.
Dana Carvey
But if you miss one. One pronunciation. And then you got to do the whole thing over again.
Julie Bowen
I would do. Was not very good at my job hosting. I did drop to my knees, just scooter across and kiss Jacob. Lordy. In the middle of our interview, he told me he had a crush on me.
Dana Carvey
Well, that's good.
David Spade
Oh, he did.
Julie Bowen
It was his first talk show. That guy's a. I was hot. And I. The only thing I got right, they were like, you're done and no retakes. And I was like, that means I was boring.
David Spade
No.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, it does. No, if I didn't. I did everything of the whole show.
David Spade
The whole show?
Dana Carvey
Most talk shows, it's hard to be just hysterical.
David Spade
Stiffed me.
Julie Bowen
What do you mean? He just went like, yeah. He looked at you.
David Spade
I go, so you're this new movie. And then. Well, it was. It was sort of my fault. But he, like, on purpose did it. And afterwards he goes, that's funny, right?
Julie Bowen
What did he. What happened?
David Spade
Like, he didn't want to answer anything.
Julie Bowen
Oh, he.
David Spade
He played that doing it as a bit.
Julie Bowen
He really laid into the whole bit.
David Spade
Yeah. He's like, I don't know. You're from England. We're in England now. I went over there once. Are you? And he's like, yeah, that whole area. They look away and I'm like. And then I go like this the other day, I go, hey, why don't you ask me something? Because I was getting nowhere. And then Kimmel later said, that's about as hard as it's ever been. If I had him, I would not know what to do.
Julie Bowen
Oh, my God. Wait, Kimmel watches the ones that we.
Dana Carvey
Jesus.
David Spade
Yeah. They showed him this disaster tape.
Julie Bowen
Oh, no.
David Spade
I said, was I supposed to make out with Guillermo before the show? And they go, no, that's just like a hazing thing.
Julie Bowen
I love Guillermo. Guillermo's my comfort animal when I'm there. I swear to God.
Dana Carvey
He's a sweet man.
Julie Bowen
All right, you can open your presents, Davey.
David Spade
Oh, now it's over.
Dana Carvey
Okay. I feel like this podcast place in Nevada.
David Spade
We can. Oh, we can stay on for this one.
Dana Carvey
Okay. We're still recording. Or we are open the big one.
David Spade
Kettlebells.
Julie Bowen
Yeah, I get you. You're soft and weak. Those are unwrapped for two.
Dana Carvey
That's all you man years.
David Spade
It's breaking my quads.
Julie Bowen
So, so dumb.
Dana Carvey
Is it an X rated gift?
Julie Bowen
No, it's like an actual just gift.
Dana Carvey
Oh, it's got to be a picture frame.
Julie Bowen
A picture.
David Spade
I want a picture.
Julie Bowen
It's a picture.
Dana Carvey
It's a picture. I'm from Montana.
David Spade
Oh, all right. So we just walked Julie out. She was always, always funny, always very articulate. We. You were right. I think she should have a talk show.
Dana Carvey
I did think she's, like, made out of a factory. You know, I. I wonder if she's. That's in her future. She seems perfect in that demographic. Photogenic, funny, can be very smart. Were you shocked? I mean, I'll just ask the audience. Was it a little shocking at times? We just let it go where it went.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And. But she had a great laugh.
David Spade
Well, I couldn't help my presence. I'm the worst present getter, too. I'm like this. I just throw one down at a time. There's no thank yous in the middle. It's just like, okay. And I'm like, all right, thanks.
Dana Carvey
And the stuff that you don't see is there was a lot more chatter and all kinds of stuff going on upstairs.
David Spade
Oh, yeah, we just shoved her off.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, she. I thought she was talking.
David Spade
That's a reason. She's a good guest. I'm glad we started with her. A lot of fun, and I think everyone liked it. I learned a lot.
Dana Carvey
I learned a lot, too.
David Spade
And I also forgot a lot of stuff. I got dumber.
Dana Carvey
That's kind of sad.
David Spade
Oh, and I'm excited about Happy Gilmore. So Happy Gilmore 2 comes out July 25th.
Dana Carvey
July 25th. If you guys have ever, ever heard of Netflix, that's where you get it.
David Spade
Yeah. So we'll see you next time. And if you want to email us a question, you can do it.
Dana Carvey
Anything in the world. Because we are blabbermouse from. And the address is Odyssey.com. fly in the wall. Odyssey.com. fly on the wall at@odyssey.com Fly on the wall one word lowercase yep fly on the wall one word lowercase at.
David Spade
That little thing A u d a.
Dana Carvey
C y.com fly on the wall at.
David Spade
Odyssey.Com cause hotmail was taken hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us review, five star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.
Dana Carvey
If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.
David Spade
Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Ren Reese Dennis of Odyssey.
Dana Carvey
Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by.
David Spade
Phil Sweet tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.
Dana Carvey
Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney and Lauren Vieira.
David Spade
Reach out with us Any questions Questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us@flyonthewalldecy.com that's a U-A C-Y dot com.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Episode: Julie Bowen In Studio!!!
Release Date: June 26, 2025
Hosted by Dana Carvey and David Spade, this episode features a lively and insightful conversation with acclaimed actress Julie Bowen. The trio delves into various aspects of Julie's career, personal anecdotes, and their enduring friendships within the entertainment industry.
The episode begins with Dana Carvey and David Spade engaging in their signature banter, setting a relaxed and humorous tone for the conversation. They introduce their special guest, Julie Bowen, highlighting her impressive portfolio and previous appearances on the podcast.
Julie Bowen's Journey to Stardom
Julie Bowen shares her path to becoming a renowned actress, discussing her early days in Baltimore where television access was limited. She reminisces about watching classics like Bugsy Malone and Sound of Music on Betamax, which ignited her passion for acting despite not being a frequent TV watcher.
Breaking into Television and Film
Julie recounts her move to Los Angeles post-college, where she juggled various odd jobs while pursuing acting roles. Her persistence paid off when she auditioned for Modern Family, a role that would catapult her into mainstream success.
Balancing Personal Life and Career
The conversation touches on the challenges of balancing a demanding career with personal life. Julie discusses her experience of having twins while auditioning and the support she received from her husband and colleagues during pivotal moments in her career.
Meeting Dana and David
Julie shares a humorous story about how David Spade met her through a mutual connection with Saturday Night Live, highlighting the camaraderie and support among comedians and actors.
Experiences on Set and Auditions
The trio delves into various on-set experiences, including Julie's auditions and the dynamics of working with big stars like Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen. Julie candidly discusses the intense audition process and how she navigated the competitive landscape of Hollywood.
Behind-the-Scenes Moments
Dana Carvey and David Spade share behind-the-scenes anecdotes from their careers, including Dana’s time on SNL and the challenges of live performances. Julie adds her own insights, emphasizing the unpredictable nature of showbiz.
Comedy and Drama Balance
Julie Bowen reflects on her desire to engage in serious theater while navigating opportunities in television and film. She discusses the importance of versatility in acting and the difficulty of maintaining authenticity while adapting to different roles.
Navigating Fame and Public Persona
The conversation explores the impact of fame on personal relationships and public perception. Julie and the hosts discuss how being recognized by fans affects their daily lives and the strategies they employ to maintain personal privacy.
Throughout the episode, Dana, David, and Julie engage in light-hearted teasing and humorous exchanges. Topics range from David’s golfing mishaps to playful jabs about prescription wardrobe choices like Dana’s mock turtleneck "dickie."
Marriage and Relationships
A significant portion of the conversation focuses on marriage, with Julie and David sharing their experiences and perspectives. Julie candidly talks about her divorce, while David humorously reflects on his love for marriage despite a history of being a serial monogamist.
Happy Gilmore Sequel
Towards the end of the podcast, David Spade announces the premiere of Happy Gilmore 2 on Netflix, providing details about the release date and encouraging listeners to watch it.
Julie’s New Projects
Julie discusses her upcoming roles and the excitement surrounding her new projects. She emphasizes her commitment to challenging roles and continuous growth as an actress.
The episode wraps up with Dana and David thanking Julie for her candid and entertaining participation. They reflect on the enjoyable dynamics of the conversation and express anticipation for future collaborations.
Julie Bowen’s Resilience: Julie's journey underscores the importance of perseverance in the competitive world of acting. Despite facing numerous rejections and balancing personal challenges, her dedication led to iconic roles.
Friendship in Showbiz: The enduring friendship between Dana, David, and Julie highlights the supportive networks that exist behind the scenes, providing both professional collaboration and personal camaraderie.
Balancing Fame and Privacy: Navigating fame while maintaining personal boundaries is a recurring theme, emphasizing the delicate balance actors must maintain between public personas and private lives.
Humor as a Coping Mechanism: The podcast illustrates how humor and light-hearted interactions help the hosts and guests navigate the stresses and unpredictabilities of the entertainment industry.
This episode offers a blend of humor, heartfelt stories, and industry insights, making it a must-listen for fans of Dana Carvey, David Spade, and Julie Bowen alike.