Netflix is a Joke, Oscar Nominations, + Playing the Role of Poop???

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Episode: Netflix is a Joke, Oscar Nominations, + Playing the Role of Poop???
Date: January 26, 2026
Duration: Approx. 55 minutes

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Episode Overview

Dana Carvey and David Spade return with a freewheeling, banter-heavy episode riffing on current entertainment headlines––notably the Academy Awards (Oscars) nominations, the massive Netflix Is a Joke festival, and some gleefully absurd showbiz stories including the "Poop" Emoji Movie casting. As always, their signature chemistry, improvisation, and industry know-how create a fun, irreverent take on the comic side of Hollywood and pop culture.

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Main Themes & Key Segments

1. Mock Oscars Rundown and Hollywood Satire (01:34–17:47)

• Blind Oscar Movie Review
  • Dana and David admit to not having seen many nominees, poking fun at Hollywood types who pretend otherwise.
  • [01:34, David] “Here’s our movie review of the year. We haven’t seen any of the movies, but we’re about to tell you.”
• Oscars Expansion and F1 Surprise
  • Surprise at “F1,” a Brad Pitt-starring blockbuster, making the Best Picture cut.
  • [03:07, David] “That is the surprise for sure. Brad Pitt is a genuine movie star.”
• Dissecting Nominee Names and Industry Quirks
  • Bit on how modern nominees all have unique, cool names.
  • [08:01, Dana] “Timothy Chalametti. You gotta have cool names…You couldn’t come in with Steve Edwards or something?”
  • Discussion of the Golden Globes' infamous craving for star power.
  • [08:26, David] “They’ll nominate any star for anything because they just want stars there.”
• Personal Industry Anecdotes
  • David recounts a “Train Dreams” star dropping a glass at his feet and musing about “emotional” movies and avoiding sadness.
• Comedy About Movie Tropes and Snubs
  • Mock complaints about movie snubs: “Velociraptorus,” Tommy Cruise, Scarlett Johansson.
  • [06:55, Dana] “You know who got snubbed? The Velociraptorus.”

2. More Oscars: Performances & Category Deep Dives (13:00–25:00)

• Actor & Actress Breakdowns
  • Chat about Ethan Hawke’s role in “Blue Moon,” Jesse Buckley in “Hamnet,” and Kate Hudson in “Song Sung Blue.”
  • Humorous Shakespeare wordplay: [16:18, Dana] “It’s a Shakespeare kind of thing. Real kind of old timey England, you know, they’d say Hamnet. Later on it became Omelette.”
• Comedian/Actor Backstories
  • Anecdotes about comics breaking into the Comedy Store and Improv.
  • Mitzi Shore’s legendary rejections: [21:51, Dana] “She looks up, ‘You should wear a sweater, darling. Come back in two years.’”

3. The Netflix Is a Joke Festival: Comedian-palooza (26:11–34:32)

• Festival Hype and Lineups
  • Massive festival spans LA, featuring headliners like Cat Williams, Letterman, Shane Gillis, Jim Gaffigan, Nikki Glaser, and the Fly on the Wall podcast live show.
  • [30:27, David] “I have never seen this many headliners come to LA and blow it up.”
• Overload of Talent
  • Jesting about how overwhelming the options are for fans.
  • [31:53, David] “If you’re a comedy fan, you should just move here and take all your–sell all your possessions.”
  • Plan to make their Fly on the Wall live podcast at the fest “unforgettable.”
  • [32:38, Dana] "I can't really say exactly what's going to happen at our show... But it will never be forgotten."

4. Industry Stories: Testing Movies and Editing for Laughs (34:32–41:47)

• Netflix Movies and "Dumbing Down" Plots

  • Discussing Matt Damon’s comments on being asked to keep reiterating plot points in Netflix films for distracted, multitasking viewers.
  • [34:51, David] “An executive said it wouldn’t be bad to keep letting people know…dumb it down is what he’s saying.”

• Movie Test Screening Rituals

  • How comment cards, first screenings, and reactions affect a movie’s fate.
  • Dangers of bad “stank” if an audience doesn’t respond favorably.
  • [39:16, David] “Your first screening…There’s more and more pressure over the years. This has to be almost finished.”

• Comedy Editing Tales

  • Stories from “Tommy Boy” and others: audience reactions versus writer expectations.
  • The mechanics and importance of holding onto a joke just long enough on screen, as with a fart gag or the deer-in-the-car scene.

5. Absurd Headlines & Improv: Role of Poop and Mr. Beast (43:38–48:59)

• Jordan Peele and the Emoji Movie
  • Peele reportedly quit acting when offered the role of “Poop” in the Emoji Movie—a springboard for riotous improv.
  • [43:51, David] “Director Jordan Peele quit acting when he was offered the role of Poop.”
  • [44:04, Dana] “Hi, this is Jordan Poop. The character’s name is Poop. Oh, that’s funny. No, it’s actual poop.”
  • The duo riff gleefully on casting choices for other bodily function characters (“diarrhea,” “peepee,” “oversized wiener”).
  • [45:43, Dana] “And David Spade as the oversized wiener…”
• Mr. Beast’s Squid Game-Style Dilemmas
  • Discussion of an actual Mr. Beast gameshow moment when a contestant chose $1 million for himself, screwing over team members he barely knew.
  • [46:21, David] “They get nothing. And you get…a million dollars. And he fucking hits it.”
  • Both hosts find the contestant’s choice fully understandable and lampoon the relentless moralizing of “playing for the team.”

6. Pop Culture Sidebar, Sports & NIL (49:32–52:29)

• NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) and College Sports
  • Reflection on how college athletes now make massive endorsement money — sometimes not even attending class.
  • Comparison to their own humble college years.
  • [51:04, Dana] “If I was Livvy Dunne, I wouldn’t graduate. That’s not why I didn’t graduate.”
• Closing Advice and Banter
  • Dana dispenses earnest health/lifestyle tips.
  • “Be kind, rewind” gags, VHS/cassette nostalgia, and preview of life on Dana’s mini-farm (horses, chickens, potential goats).

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Blind Oscars riff:
  “Here’s our movie review of the year. We haven’t seen any of the movies, but we’re about to tell you.”
  — David Spade (01:34)

• On Golden Globes’ star-magnet nominations:
  “They’ll nominate any star for anything because they just want stars there.”
  — David Spade (08:26)

• On unique Oscar nominee names:
  “You gotta have cool names…You couldn’t come in with Steve Edwards or something?”
  — Dana Carvey (08:01)

• On festival overload:
  “If you’re a comedy fan, you should just move here and take all your–sell all your possessions.”
  — David Spade (31:53)

• On being offered the role of Poop:
  “Hi, this is Jordan Poop. The character’s name is Poop. Oh, that’s funny. No, it’s actual poop.”
  — Dana Carvey (44:04)

• On movie test screenings:
  “Your first screening…There’s more and more pressure over the years. This has to be almost finished.”
  — David Spade (39:16)

• On being snubbed by the Academy:
  “Tommy Cruise…he got ignored by the Academy. He got shunned by the Academy. By the way, are you in the Academy?”
  — Dana Carvey (07:22)

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Show’s Tone and Style

The entire episode is characterized by:

• Irreverent, carefree riffing with constant asides.
• Underlying Hollywood-insider knowledge.
• Willingness to satirize both themselves and the industry.
• Frequent improvisational tangents—especially during the “Poop” casting and Mr. Beast segments.
• Self-deprecating humor and camaraderie.
• Occasional thoughtful moments about how comedy and showbiz have evolved.

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Takeaways

This episode delivers what Carvey and Spade do best: equal parts industry insight, gonzo humor, and nostalgia. Whether explaining the logic of Oscars snubs, the glut of A-list comedy at Netflix’s festival, or riffing as “Jordan Poop,” their banter is easygoing yet sharply observed, perfect for listeners who want to feel like they’re eavesdropping on two long-time industry pals.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:34 – Oscars movie banter begins
• 03:07 – F1 surprise and nominee discussion
• 08:01 – Unique nominee names and Globe inside info
• 16:18 – Hamnet/Omelette Shakespeare riff
• 21:51 – Comedy Store/Improv audition memories
• 26:11 – Netflix Is a Joke festival preview
• 31:53 – Festival surreal overload
• 34:51 – Matt Damon and Netflix movie “dumbing down”
• 39:16 – Movie test screenings & industry pressures
• 43:51 – Jordan Peele offered “Poop” role/Emoji Movie bit
• 46:21 – Mr. Beast dilemma and commentary
• 49:32 – NIL: college sports and money
• 52:29 – Closing advice, farm/animal talk, episode wind-down

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End of Summary

Transcript

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Here's where our movie review of the year. We haven't seen any of the movies, but we're about to tell you.

[B]

That's like our other review we did. We didn't know yet our top five movies of the year. What if we put a tariff on our audience?

[A]

That's the thing we do. We're going to have every single guest. Dave Chappelle will be there every night. We're gonna have Shane Gillis. He sits on the couch. Everybody's coming. It's the biggest thing.

[B]

Who's jizz again? We haven't cast that yet. Welcome.

[A]

Welcome to another edition. Episode 3489.

[B]

We're gonna rip apart the Academy Awards piece by piece. That's our.

[A]

Oh, I'm such a boomer. I look at them and I go, oh man. How many of the top 10, I mean the 10 nominated movies have I seen? I got a lot of work to do.

[B]

How about have you heard of for kids?

[A]

Can you pronounce begonia?

[B]

I mean, I saw Petunia. I saw it already.

[A]

I'll see anything with Jesse Plemons and Emma Stone.

[B]

Very good. Are they up for anything? Because they were. They were all very good.

[A]

I don't know. Do we have the. Can we throw the nomination?

[B]

Interesting director, by the way. This is like the MTV Awards, where, I don't know, literally one person.

[A]

Okay. I saw Marty supreme because we got a screener, thought it was great. I've not seen Frankenstein. I've seen the original one from 1932. I don't know if that helps.

[B]

That guy's hot. That's all I've heard.

[A]

F1 is kind of a surprise. That's quite.

[B]

That is the surprise for sure. I mean, Brad Pitt is a genuine movie star. And sometimes the Academy Awards. Because now they have, what, 10 or eight or.

[A]

No, it's 10 now. It used to be five, so you.

[B]

Can sort of squeak in with an F1. Have you seen Popcorn Movie?

[A]

Yeah, it's one big tentpole movie. It made like, 700 million.

[B]

Fun. Yeah.

[A]

Brad Pitt does Brad Pitt. Super charisma.

[B]

Keep reading them because they're too small for me.

[A]

I know. I got my glasses on. The Secret Agent. I think it's from Brazil. I'm kind of interested in that. I haven't seen it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You've seen Secret Agent, haven't you?

[B]

Back and forth.

[A]

Here's where our movie review of the year. We haven't seen any of the movies, but we're about to tell you.

[B]

That's like our other review we did. We didn't. Oh, yeah. Our top five movies of the year.

[A]

Yeah. It's one movie we haven't seen after another. Speaking of which, Leonardo decapitated. I mean, DiCaprio in one battle after another. PTA Paul.

[B]

Is he up for it?

[A]

He's up for actor, but also.

[B]

Oh, he is.

[A]

It looks like it's gonna be a shootout at movie corral.

[B]

Where'd you see that?

[A]

I perused. I've kind of.

[B]

I'm looking. Oh, I'm just looking at this. Let's go by the pictures first. One battle. Go.

[A]

One battle after another. I've seen it. I said it's Kubricki. It's Tarantino. E. I think it's a movie that you. I'm gonna see twice before I give my rating on because I. It's obviously brilliantly done. I just.

[B]

Will you ever see it twice to do that or we. Are you out?

[A]

No, no, I. I like to see movies. It'll be a lazy Sunday afternoon, partly cloudy, no one will be around. I'll try to walkie talkie you. You won't answer back. And I go, I'm gonna put it on. I like movies.

[B]

Chickens are relaxed. Everything's cool. Everything's been fed.

[A]

Here's what's. Here's what is. Here's what the turf war is right now.

[B]

Okay, where's the battle? What's going on?

[A]

Sinners.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Versus one battle after another. Sinners, I think, got 16 Academy Award nominations. I think it might be the most of all time. One battle after another, I think got the second most. So.

[B]

Yeah, well, you're skipping Train Dreams. I saw the guy from Train Dreams at the.

[A]

At a Train Dreams. I heard of that one. I'm sorry.

[B]

Joel Egerton. And. And he dropped a glass right by my foot and it smashed into bits. And I literally. Great guy syndrome. I fucking kept people back with him while we waited and tried to pick up shards. And then it got to the point where this is someone else's job.

[A]

They were too small. This is the star of Train Dreams. You had this interaction with. Did I get that right?

[B]

I've seen so many billboards and shit for it. Train Dreams. It looks like the Feel Bad movie this summer, but because it's, like, very slow, I think I would actually like it. But sometimes it looks a little emotional and I can't have any emotions.

[A]

Well, what if it's not analogous? What if it's actually just about people dreaming on trains? It's, like, literal. Could that be a good movie? I have not seen it, but it's on my bucket list.

[B]

They are definitely pushing it. And I feel like you and Paula would like it. I don't think I would like it. I just feel like it's kind of like a really beautifully shot cool. But I feel like it might be sad and I can't be sad right now.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Darkness now. Give me some. Give me. Give me F1. I would have nominated Jurassic park with my friend Scarlett Johansson. I thought that was a great movie. I thought it was a great. Have you seen it? Have you seen it?

[B]

You know who got snubbed?

[A]

The Velociraptorus. It was just a well done, riveting action film. I think it's right up there with F1. And, you know, always, I never underestimate Tommy Cruise. And you gotta vote for Tommy Cruise when he's hanging off airplanes and holding his breath and banging bricks at his head and, you know, drowning himself Beaver.

[B]

Is he in any of these? Is he up for. I can't see?

[A]

No, they.

[B]

They.

[A]

He got ignored by the Academy. He got shunned by the Academy. By the way, are you in the Academy?

[B]

I don't think so. If not.

[A]

You don't think so.

[B]

Well, go to another category. Let's really. Let's really get.

[A]

Okay. Frankenstein also. Have you seen that Sinners will.

[B]

I saw pieces of it. That's such an LA thing. I saw pieces of it.

[A]

I've heard Sinners is brilliant.

[B]

I heard Sinners great. But you know your precious weapons isn't up for it.

[A]

I know they're giving it best supporting actress for.

[B]

Is it Amy Madigan.

[A]

Yes. Who's always been great. Okay, here we are. Leading actors. Timothy Chalametti. You gotta have cool names. Look at these. DiCaprio, Chalamet. I. You couldn't come in with Steve Edwards or something?

[B]

Ethan Hawke is a great Squankmeyer. You need. You need half of the thing is now the dirty secret about the Golden Globes. The dirty. And I should even tell you, Dana.

[A]

Well, I want to know what's the dirty secret.

[B]

Is that especially in the old days. But I think they still do it. They will nominate any star for anything because they just want stars there. So you'll be like, wow, the rock got up for best dramatic actor and they just want the rock there, you know, so they want as many big stars in that.

[A]

Oh yeah. That's been pretty transparent for a long time. That's kind of.

[B]

This is a big secret and you can't tell our. Even our audience can't know.

[A]

Yes. Craziest nominations. I can't remember the one that was famous. Pierre. I don't know. Somebody got best Actress.

[B]

Pepe Le Pew.

[A]

Pepe Le Pew got nominated for best Director.

[B]

Well, look at Chamolay. I mean, Oscars, it's a little whiff of the same thing. But I think they're better about it. But Ethan Hawke. What is that movie?

[A]

It says Blue Moon.

[B]

Blue Moon and have not seen it.

[A]

Very interesting story, actually. He plays. He was riding with Hammerstein and made. Did all these incredible things. I think. I know you're asleep.

[B]

Hammerstein? Yeah. Who does he play for? The Knicks?

[A]

No. And then Rogers and Hammerstein.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Kind of took over, I believe and he sort of lost his job. He's an alcoholic. He's great in it. He's got a bald cap and a comb over.

[B]

That'll do it.

[A]

He's really good. Leonard. He's good.

[B]

Anyway, though, I'm not trying to negate. And I looked like him on that picture once. Remember Heather? They thought it was me. So I Hawk. I don't even think I've met him in my travels and I would like him.

[A]

Well, he's like one of those great actors. It's not. Not hungry, he's not thirsty. It kind of gives you sort of a cool vibe when you're not out all the time. And then he does these indie films where he's brilliant but he's kind of behind the.

[B]

And then he jumps in Black Phone, which is like a se. Like a. A hit on the.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Terror horror movie.

[A]

And he's got Maya Hawk, he's got Noise, he's got Thurman. So it's a talented family.

[B]

Who's that guy? Wagner?

[A]

I think that's the Brazilian movie, right?

[B]

He won the Golden Globe.

[A]

He did.

[B]

Or most.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

Golden Globe.

[A]

Film that has almost no chance. Our nominees are Pepe Le Pew starring David Spade.

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Our nominees are this speck of a movie that no one's seen. Looking to create the bath you've always.

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You can get 20 off your first order with Jenny Bird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code FOX OTW at checkout. Seriously, it's that easy to make her day. Okay, supporting actors. Bonio I love, of course. He's always great and he was in Your movie with the did have best driving shot. I saw a whole TikTok breakdown of the director and cinematographer talking about the driving shot over the hills. Like this.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And how they did it. Mm. It was too long, but it was good.

[A]

It was super, super well shot. Jacob Elordi.

[B]

Jacobi, new to the scene.

[A]

Looks cool. I like the director. You got to be in a mood.

[B]

I have not seen Frank. Is it scary or is it just cool?

[A]

Maybe a little bit of both. You know, I think it's probably more emotional. More emotional than scary. You know, he wants to be human. It's a Pinocchio thing again. He wants to be a real person. He doesn't want to be a monster.

[B]

I'm tired of this 19 inch dick you put on me. And then. And the doctor's like, you are. He's like, I'm kidding. But the rest of it I don't want.

[A]

The doctor's like, it's all I had. It's all I had. I was going to give you a 10 incher, but you know, these don't come cheap.

[B]

Yeah, you're tall. They gave me a group rate at this.

[A]

You're Frankenstein. You can't have a tiny wiener.

[B]

I know, but it looks like a crescent wrench. It is.

[A]

And time after 9 minutes and 42 seconds. We reference said wiener. All right.

[B]

Delroy Lindo is just a cool actor that's in so many things that you don't even know. And he's great. And good to see him in there.

[A]

He's a sleeper because he has been in so much stuff. Sean Penn, believe it or not, I believe has two best actor wins.

[B]

Yeah. Mystic river, maybe.

[A]

Mystic river and then the prison one.

[B]

Oh, yeah. With the nun.

[A]

Yeah. And that's what the movie was called. The prison guy and the nun. Sean Fenn, he's great. Dead man Walking. He's great in this. With shocking white hair, he's super tan and he plays kind of a crazy weirdo. He's absolutely riveting in this. And of course, Skarsgard, who. Whose son is famous and he's been around forever. He's kind of a sentimental value. The name of the movie is the way I feel about him as far as getting the best supporting actor.

[B]

I love Sean. The character I thought was a little. Whatever. All right, what are the women? And then we'll move on. Do they have those?

[A]

Let's go to the ladies.

[B]

The actress. Oh, yeah. There was one shocker.

[A]

I just heard Kate Hudson got nominated for best actress.

[B]

Right. That song Blue, which is on Pay per View now. I'm gonna watch it. I love Neil Diamond. I sang Neil diamond in a movie.

[A]

Really? Were you on key?

[B]

No, I don't even think they had Auto tune back then so we had to really rough it. But it was in Lawsonville.

[A]

They're coming to America.

[B]

No, it was Brother Loves traveling Salvation show. And I think I saw them seeing it in the trailer for this one.

[A]

Neil diamond is one of those artists I love that is going to future trip. There's something about his voice and those Anthony songs just are never gonna go.

[B]

Yeah, okay, read these names. They're too small.

[A]

Jesse Buckley for Hamnet. She won Golden Globes best actress. Right?

[B]

I never heard of this movie. Now I've heard of it too much.

[A]

It's a sh. Shakespeare kind of thing. And then. And real kind of old timey England, you know, they'd say Hamnet. Later on it became Omelette.

[B]

And then they should have stopped at omelet.

[A]

Omelette. Yeah, it's a. If I had legs, I'll kick you. Rose Byrne. Conan. Our. Our buddy Conan o' Brien is in that plane. A psychiatrist.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

Kate Hudson song Sung Blue. Resin. Viv. Sorry. Sorry, Renee. I don't a sentimental value. And then of course that box only Emma Stone. Bologna.

[B]

Oh, for Bologna.

[A]

For Bologna. It was. The original title was Baloney Sandwich and they shortened it. It's kind of a cool premise. I will see that because she's.

[B]

I saw it.

[A]

She's next level, right?

[B]

I finally saw something. Nina.

[A]

Oh, you don't watch movies?

[B]

I do.

[A]

You get lost on the web.

[B]

I'm watching the rip on Netflix taking me three times. But I do like it. It's just I do something and then I leave. Then I came back from the Comedy Store last night. I leave, go to bed.

[A]

We're watching the Pit and we're watching. And we're watching on pbs. All Creatures Great and Small. There couldn't be two things more opposite. It's called having range. It's called.

[B]

I know, I like it. I will watch one about bugs and animals and then I narrate it as I talk to the tv. It's funny. I make fun of it. But they're always cool to watch like A Bug's Life. They follow a bug around or they follow like a little.

[A]

You mean a real like documentary with real.

[B]

Yeah, like a real skunk around. Or they follow just some weird animal and in the morning they go out sniffing for this. It's so funny.

[A]

I do like. I like I like documentaries.

[B]

Pull up my gigs because Dana is quietly.

[A]

Don't be squeamish about your huge national.

[B]

Tour, you know, because I'm.

[A]

Don't hide.

[B]

Okay. No, I got him. I know. I want to talk about. I'm coming to. Oh, by this time, this airs. Yeah. Appleton, Milwaukee and Chicago will be on the weekend. Then we got Oklahoma, Texas and San Antonio. Then we've got Durham, North Carolina, Norfolk, licensed.

[A]

I like what I'm hearing.

[B]

Charlotte, Pittsburgh coming up. And of course Nashville. But oh, yeah, Tysons, Virginia. What is Tysons?

[A]

Nobody knows.

[B]

I've done it too. What's Ovens? Is that the arena?

[A]

Could you make a list of the hotels or motels you're going to be staying at? Are there any Hamptons in. Is there a Hampton in in your future?

[B]

No, I stay at some dumpster.

[A]

Well, if you're off. Off main label, if you're out two hours from a major city, I think in Tyson, your best thing is going to be a Best Western. Yeah, the breakfast buffet is, you know me, easy breezy. Yeah, yeah, Best Western.

[B]

When I did last, I was in was it Charlotte. Christian McCaffrey and some football players came and it was so fun. And we laughed and kicked and scratched. I like when people come in. I saw Tony Gonzalez at the Comedy Store last night.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I like what I'm hearing.

[B]

I walked in, I texted him a little bit. Then they took his phone away. That's what they do at the store now, take your phone away. They take your phone away. And that's bad because when I have people there and I want to talk to them after, say, hey, come out and say, hi. I cannot communicate with them. They're scared someone will film one of our dog.

[A]

They really check it. There's not a metal detector.

[B]

They take your phone, Dana, not on.

[A]

They used to take it from your cable in a pocket. What if you just had it in your back pocket?

[B]

Well, you can try to pull that scam, but if you pull it out, they kick you out. So they. You put in a bag, it's called a yonder bag, and you put it on. It used to be only with Chappelle, right. You put it on the table, but you could see it. Now they take it to the front, which I think is scarier because I do not want my phone out of my eyeballs.

[A]

Yeah, I don't. I don't play that game.

[B]

I don't play that fucking shit.

[A]

People say, can they have phones if.

[B]

I do a gig?

[A]

Absolutely. Can they take video oh yeah, take all we want.

[B]

Well, it's good use to take a clip and go. Like last night someone would take a shot of like 10 seconds or just a photo and say, went to the store, it was Spade, Bobby Lee, Bill Burr and Whitney come and it's like, oh, fun, you know, Then that, that plugs the store and they go, People go, oh shit. That's a regular night. Because in the other room was Ali Wong and Sebastian. Just random night. It just really fills up with good comics working before they go on the weekend to do their road. Like I'm practicing for those gigs. I just told you so. I want to be better, you know, I try. I care about the crowd, spending money, getting a babysitter coming down.

[A]

I'll just say this, the Comedy Store, which is, is the Borg. It is the mothership.

[B]

Yeah, it's great.

[A]

So. And it gets superstar comedians, men and women to come in there and play for Nicole. And it's been a great thing. I mean I, I still, when I've gone in there, it always gives me a little bit of the willies because of the way I felt about nerve wracking. Yeah. Something about the black walls and the white and the energy around there. Yeah.

[B]

Did you audition for Mitzi?

[A]

Of course. Did you get it? No.

[B]

You didn't?

[A]

No.

[B]

I didn't either. How fucking funny. I think you would get it before me for sure.

[A]

Nah, my stand up was pretty rudimentary at that point. And then I, I think she said, wear a sweater or something. I went over to her booth and she's, she's on her third cocktail, looks up, you should wear a sweater, darling. Come back in two years.

[B]

You buy a sweater every day for two years thinking, yeah, change your act.

[A]

But then, yeah, I went over Bud Friedman in the Improv.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I did. And they put me on. I. Yeah, exact. But who got you in? I know who got me in at the Comedy Store and the Improv. I think for people at home. I think you need to have someone recommend you.

[A]

I don't know what got me in there. I really don't. Her. Oh, don't be afraid. He plays for the people. Her plays for the people. Well, I remember I asked him, what's your goal? This was before he was on Mork and Mindy. I was interviewing him for a, for a paper at San Francisco State. What is your goals? Oh, I just like to play for the people. Her, I don't know. I mean he was, he had charisma. Just sitting in a Chair with this deep British accent.

[B]

He's got a weird look. It's kind of very riveting to watch. He's like, you know, he's got an odd face when you really break it down. He did. He looks kind of interesting and he. The way he kind of moves.

[A]

Definitely with barrel chested. It's. He invented this which it took me a while to figure out why he's so brilliant. Because sometimes comedians would go oh, he's got sticky fingers. His. His act is hacky. There was some of that. But I said he invented this motif. Shakespearean trained actor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With no material.

[B]

No.

[A]

Is pushed out on a comedy stage. So it's an artifice, it's a thing. But oh, what's going on? And then he always had. He had a beret that he'd throw off and he'd pick it up. For those of you on essay, this is a Frisbee, you know. But the whole thing was really hard for a normal monologist to follow because Robin didn't know where he was going. He'd go in the audience, oh, someone's shine, somebody bald guy's head, you know.

[B]

So did he have any long chunky bits? Like when I say oh I went to get a massage. Right. I. I have like a four minute bit or a five minute bit. And does he have any of those or was it all like haha.

[A]

Well no, I think here.

[B]

Over there.

[A]

Here's my theory. This for comedy nerds. I believe the stuff that I saw in 75:76 was his first special and it's so, so rudimentary and so abstract. It's like the stand up you do before you learn how to do stand up later on. I think his management company got him to do long bits, got him to get word for word, got him to be organized. But that first special. Something about him to this out there.

[B]

Chaos.

[A]

Yeah. Asian men masturbating in front of dinosaur. You know, it was just so loose and so powerful. So that's my favorite special. When he was not controlled in a way. Like with Paula Poundstone. The management company put her in a dress and she was a tomboy. Is it. You know that was. Her whole thing is kind of casual with the sweater and brilliant. But then these managers.

[B]

Was it Reznor Mora?

[A]

I guess so. I don't want to on any Billy Crystal. They met. Well yeah, sure.

[B]

I don't know if they're still around but that. I know what you mean. Are you saying it would have. It was better with Paula dressing sort of Tomboyish.

[A]

Well, she just. She had her sweater on. She was the girl next door. She was just, you know. And then I saw her, they got a show on abc and she had heels and nylon stockings and a dress and lipstick. And it just wasn't her. She was just this other.

[B]

And she was kind of pretty just the way she was, like, oh, totally.

[A]

She had a very photogenic, brilliant mind. Brilliant comedian.

[B]

You know, that was a name you heard a lot back then, like.

[A]

And she's out there now, too. She's out.

[B]

I'm sure she still goes Rita Rudner. There's a lot that did well. Yeah. Okay, you want to get to some stories or. Oh, yeah, I want to talk about the Netflix Extravaganza Comedy festival.

[A]

Okay. And then we'll get to the. Is Trump. Is there any method to his madness? Donald Trump.

[B]

No, do that first. Do that first.

[A]

Here's our tease, because I find it almost like a sport. Like, okay, what? Because we've seen this play before. We're gonna go a 500 terror.

[B]

512 million.

[A]

And then you check in six months later, it's like 13, you know, so he's. He's a character. And this is what I looked up or what? From his book. Leverage media attention. Use this to create buzz and influence, create a sense of urgency. Imply the deal must be made quickly. Use bold claims, make exaggerated statements to assert dominance, capture interest, negotiates from strength. Always be in a position to walk away. Good cop, bad cop. I mean, he does this stuff. So, like, he's going to do tariffs on Europe. Maybe, maybe by the time. By air time, this may be true.

[B]

And he's going to start at 200%. And that grabs everyone's attention.

[A]

Tariffs on Europe, Crazy.

[B]

He's high number.

[A]

He's going to militarily take over Greenland. And so the market just went, pull.

[B]

Up, pull, pull, dive, dive, dive.

[A]

And then the next day he kind of goes, no, we made a deal. I sat with someone. We made a deal. We made a great deal. We're not going to do the test. The tariffs were not. But you said we're not going to do it. Quite frankly, people are looking at it. If you look at it, you see it and you think about it, we're going to do a great deal for the whole lot. We've got a deal. We made a deal. We're going to do a deal.

[B]

We've had a new one.

[A]

Well, I have just decided. You know how I went with George Bush senior from. Well, we're not going to do It, I'm doing it with Trump. James Austin Johnson has his. Trump is brilliant. But I, I'm trying to entertain myself, so to entertain myself. I have yours.

[B]

Makes me laugh. We do it on phone messages.

[A]

We're gonna go places and people, people are saying a lot of things and they know we're gonna build igloos.

[B]

Everybody gets an igloo.

[A]

We'll take it over. And we don't know where this goes, but it's clear he likes to put out this thing in negotiation. He's gonna bomb Greenland and tariff Europe to. And so the prime minister, Canada came out like an end of day speech. We, we know that nothing will ever be the same. You know, this is before Trump said no tariffs. We'll make a deal. Everybody's going to be rich. The thing about Greenland is that Russia and China are sort of creeping around up there. They're like, hello, hello, Mr. Putin, this is submarine captain W. We are seeing Greenland in our telescopes. Looks like some rare earth minerals. May we sneak in, grab some lithium and run for the border?

[B]

I don't know. They had lithium. Give me some of that.

[A]

Oh, we, we need rare earth minerals.

[B]

Man, I love rare earth, rare earth.

[A]

Minerals for our phones and stuff. So anyway, I thought that was really interesting and, and how everyone really reacts to the madness, the chaos he creates and the madness. And then he seems super reasonable by saying whatever after that.

[B]

Sounds reasonable.

[A]

Yeah. So countries 500 tariff and like, oh my God, end of world. All right, just 50%. Thank you, Mr. Trump. It seems like it's a sixth grade level of thinking, but it seems, it's.

[B]

Like a pattern that people are seeing. You're seeing it, but I don't want to see. So they should go. This is the move. You do this, it turns into this. Winds up at this because the stock market and I think is about. I got out of the stock market a while ago, which is idiot. Dumb ideas. Yeah. I got into movie studios. Dumb idea number two.

[A]

Mattress.

[B]

Anyway, so that, that, that. Oh yeah. Let's go back into the Netflix as a joke.

[A]

Yeah, Netflix is a joke. Explain to our audience what this is.

[B]

I'll explain how tiny this is. This is. I should have brought a print out. But basically, look at how many people are come. I, I have to say, Shane, I've never seen this many headliners come to LA and blow it up. I don't know how. If you bought a ticket to each one, it would be about $7 million.

[A]

Cat Williams. I want to see that one.

[B]

Cat Williams. Okay, let me look at this.

[A]

With David Letterman.

[B]

There's Gaffigan. There's Letterman. There's Shane Gillis. There's Nikki. Nikki Glaser's roasting the river. No, I'm kidding. But, you know, they're just.

[A]

They're.

[B]

They're putting everybody everywhere. And I didn't know they had it organized in days, because this is more interesting. But to pick between Mulaney. I can't even see him from here, but to pick between so many huge stars.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And we're doing our podcast there. We're doing Fly on the Wall.

[A]

Who's our guest?

[B]

I haven't. I have Heather. I have an idea. I can't say it. Heather will be there, but I don't. I can't say yet. So I'll tell you. I'll tell you when I can.

[A]

Dana, how are we gonna stand out? These are so many shows. Do you buy one ticket and get you into all the shows?

[B]

I hope, like a ski pass. I don't know.

[A]

But who's the freak that's going to see more than two of these shows? What kind of human beings can see this?

[B]

I mean, if you're a comedy fan, you should just move here and take all your. Sell all your possessions. Nate Burgott see Bergaz do. I mean, every. Pretty much everyone you can think of is here and doing a show, and.

[A]

We got to get a really good.

[B]

Almost too much of a good thing. Ted really flipped this thing and Robbie over Netflix into a huge deal pretty quickly. We. I think we did it last year. Did we interview Will Ferrell? Was that. Was that one?

[A]

Well, I don't think it was last year, but we had Adam Sandler early on.

[B]

Yeah, that might have been us at the Wiltern, but we have. Anyway, we're going to be there. We're excited. Get your tickets.

[A]

And I'll just say this, that I can't really say exactly what's going to happen at our show.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But it will never be forgotten. So just. Just let that float out there. We will not.

[B]

Kreischer with no shirt.

[A]

We're not going to be boring. We're not going to be boring. He can't be boring anymore. Not this. We got to be like Trump in a way. We're going to do the craziest thing because we know how to do crazy. We're going to go nuts. Everybody's going to see it.

[B]

What if we put a tariff on our audience?

[A]

That's the thing we do. We're going to have every single guest. Dave Chappelle, will be there every night. We're going to have Shane Gillis. He sits on the couch. Everybody's is the biggest thing. Cricket, cut to. It's you, me, and I don't know. I don't want to pick on anybody. I'm open my.

[B]

Don't you dare say.

[A]

I won't say a name. I won't say a name.

[B]

We'll be. Will we have a cast off from the 1987 SNL Cat?

[A]

We're gonna have. The original cast of Captain Kangaroo is gonna be there. They're a little long in the truth, but we're gonna.

[B]

No, you just offended them. No, no. Anyway, the Netflix is jokes thing will be pretty fun. I don't know what they're actually filming to put on Netflix, if anything, but I know there's a lot going on.

[A]

I just don't know about the name because there are people who kind of make fun of Netflix because it's the biggest live streaming. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's. It is the board for, for global television. But some. I heard a guy without any irony just say, oh, it's a joke, man.

[B]

I, I think honestly, that's how it started where people. When Netflix started, they said, netflix is a joke. And then they go, we start our comedy division. That might be a funny way to label it. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

[B]

I don't know if it's great, but it's working. Yeah. Okay, what's the next story? Let's get to some headlines. We really dig into headlines that are.

[A]

That was our warm up. That was our warm up.

[B]

Now here's a Netflix related story. See, I like when they're sort of related. There's of lot a thought put in here. Matt Damon says, netflix films. Oh, he did the rip.

[A]

Which I'm like, have to reiterate the plot three or four times in the dialogue because people are on their phones.

[B]

Yes, I read this. He says that an executive said it wouldn't be bad to keep letting people know. Now, in a regular movie, because I've written movies with people, this happens where they say, kind of remind everyone where we're at. Orientate. Orient them. But if you do a screening of a movie like Busboys, and then at the end you go, any questions? They go, why did you make this? But usually they're more precise, like, that's.

[A]

Not what you want.

[B]

So you guys are dealing drugs and you go, yeah. So if you hear something a few times in a screening, you Go. Okay, let's. Let's clarify that. Let's go back, put in a voiceover or shoot one extra scene. People don't understand. We went from here to here. So in these movies, they're saying, do that even more. Like, dumb it down is what he's saying.

[A]

Or do it in a different way. I say clarity is king when it comes to this. When you're trying to watch a movie and after about seven or eight minutes, you're not quite sure where you are, what am I watching? Is the tone consistent? If you watch this Sylvester Stallone movie or Arnold movie, and even Adam Sandler is really good at just laying it out. It's not. It's not redundant. It's just. We're clear where we are in the first two minutes.

[B]

What.

[A]

What we're watching.

[B]

Well, you want a clear plot, hopefully.

[A]

I think so. Unless it's a mystery. But a good movie is a good movie.

[B]

But I Batman, you know, in the middle of this movie, I'm watching it. Matt Damon looks at the camera and goes, oh, my God, I'm Matt Damon, and that's Ben Affleck. And we've teamed our money and we made a deal to do this movie. We're the good guys. We're fighting the Colombian cartel. And he's telling it to a cat in the movie. And the cat goes, wow. And then I go, oh, that was a good way to do it. Now I understand it again. Then I forget, 20 minutes later, who are these people? What's going on? They go, oh, the Colombian cartel is coming. And they're mad. And I'm like, oh, that's right.

[A]

I did a PG comedy once called Masters Guys. And at the screening, it was so chaotic because we didn't have any time to rewrite the script, but it was so chaotic, no one knew what was going on at all. I mean, it's the most confusing movie ever. And even Brad Gray was slumping down. All the agents and managers were in their chairs.

[B]

The common cards are just like, hey, fuck you.

[A]

So what we did, which maybe you could do with busboys if you need it. I don't know where you're at, but narrator.

[B]

Narrators help. I do say Dickie Roberts. One of the comment cards was, david Spade is generally annoying, but I did like this movie, and I liked him in it. He has to add that at the beginning, I remember I kept that card. Wow. Well, at least he ended by going, I'll give it a good score.

[A]

There is a human being when you make a movie, and you're gonna show it to people and they're gonna fill out cards. There's a person kept me, a man or a woman who guides the audience through it. Here's your card. This means this. This means this. So I figured out after two screenings where we were at imperceptible, like a 0.001, I said, I gotta talk to that guy. So then I talked to that guy and then his spiel to the audience was very different. And then we went, oh, you steered.

[B]

It a bit smart.

[A]

Well, just asking the right questions, setting there up. Don't be confused, whatever. Or the way he would couch it would sometimes influence people.

[B]

You know, what happens is for people at home is they test every movie. And I sit in the back on most of the ones I'm in. And it's kind of fun, but it's also fucking terrifying because if this doesn't work, the marketing budget is based on the score of your first screening. So if they see hope like out of a hundred, these people don't give a shit. They go, I'll give it an 80, I'll give it a 90. I'll give it a 40. I'll give it a zero. Fuck this. That's means so much because the average, they go, oh, you got a 77. That's really good. Your budget will go up $2 million on advertising. And when it comes down because you got lower scores, you can bump it up by making your tweaks and you get another screening. But if it's too low, they probably won't give you another screening because it costs too much to do a screening and bring the people in and rent the theater. So they start to give up on it right then. So your first screening. There's more and more pressure over the years. This has to be almost finished. It's not like, let's try a bunch of crazy jokes.

[A]

It doesn't work.

[B]

We'll try other one. It's like it got too serious.

[A]

It's called stank, I think is the.

[B]

Yeah, you get a stank on it. Yeah, people are starting to fade out on it.

[A]

Master sky is low budget. Made 40 at box office. Was like 80 now. And also did another 60 in video in those days.

[B]

So 40 wasn't expensive. I mean, you probably made it for. For 10 and then you make 40.

[A]

But it was. This was a Jack J. The producer and I were trying to figure out ways to edit it and stuff. So since it was a kids movie, you kind of need a fart trickier. You need A fart joke in a kid movie apparently. So I didn't have any, but I thought, what about if the bad guy, whenever he's really his. His plan is going really well, he farts. Now, Jack thought it wasn't about. He goes, we should. He should fart. And then we cut right away. But I said, no, he farts and then we hold for like 5 seconds or 10 seconds, like. So it's like right as he's at the peak of his plan, the chair gets pulled out and then that goes. So Jack, we tried it the other way where it's like, ha, cut. And it didn't get a laugh. So it is all about the. He's at the peak of his powers. And then I told you, we will dominate the world.

[B]

And the funny thing, you hold on him and then you cut to the people listening like this. Everybody freezes and you get an extra laugh. Cutaway. Cut away the guy eating his soup.

[A]

So there is kind of a. It. It is fun. And you, you. There is that trial and error. It's always amazing when you do a rough edit on a film what will get a laugh that you didn't expect. Like that.

[B]

Yeah. I thought that's why you need a screening.

[A]

Yeah. You just never know what an audience is going to go for.

[B]

Tommy boy. The biggest, the biggest laugh and read through and shooting was the deer in the back. And at the screening, it was their sixth favorite scene. And you're like, wow, we were wrong. The whole like over time people remember it, but there's so many more things that people quote to me than that. And. And it was so hard to shoot. It was freezing. We had to get an animatronic deer. We had to trash a car. All that work is a set piece they call them. And it still went well and is a good part of the movie, but it was by far the number one. And then we were like, wow, we saw a screening.

[A]

Well, I think it's hard to beat you and Chris's chemistry and patter, you.

[B]

Know, that's what people liked more.

[A]

Yeah. But in the context of movies I remember was it was an energetic little thing. It was. It wasn't witty patter. It was Chris screaming crazy and then the deer and the thing. So it kind of like lifted us going like this. Yeah.

[B]

Watching it all happen gave the movie.

[A]

A little left turn. A lot, a lot of energy.

[B]

It's more sad and like chaos and we get it. Okay.

[A]

Tom and Boy starring David Spade and the late, great Chris Farley. Available now wherever you Watch your podcast.

[B]

Blu Ray and laserdisc and podcast. Okay.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

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Hawaii, Alaska and California.

[B]

And for delivery. Okay, go ahead. Next one. Oh, I. This is so funny. Director Jordan Peele quit acting when he was offered the role of Poop.

[A]

Oh, the emoji movie.

[B]

Yeah. He goes.

[A]

And that's real.

[B]

He goes. This is true. I, I don't. I would be not offended. I would be like, how would I do that?

[A]

Look, I, I mean, did you get it? No, no, I, I wrote the part and I suggested, I suggested Jordan. I would just say in show business, because so many people are in it now because every kid has. Is on film all day their whole childhood. So everyone wants to be in it. The more control you can take, the more you can kind of co write or develop stuff on your own. But just sitting there waiting. What is it? Hi, this is Jordan Poop. The character's name is Poop. Oh, that's funny. No, it's actual poop. I'm animated Poop and my character's name is Poop. Get out.

[B]

They go, let's have it. Oh, get out. That's right. I stepped on it.

[A]

That's all right, we got it.

[B]

I stepped on your.

[A]

Get out. Wait.

[B]

Get out. Well, if you get a poop call and you say, listen. Mm. Is he like, does he talk or is it just Pooper? I make little noises. Or could it be diarrhea? And they're like, I'll go, we'll Go back to him.

[A]

Well, Sydney Sweeney is playing diarrhea. Oh, okay. Your poop. All right. Well, it sounds like a really good movie. Irritable bowel.

[B]

Ibs.

[A]

IBS Is Brad Pitt. Brad's doing that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know he wants to. Yeah. Is Peepee really? This movie sounds kind of off putting.

[B]

It's actually sounds good now.

[A]

The kids would love it. Kids went crazy for it.

[B]

Who's jizz again? We haven't cast that yet.

[A]

And David Spade as the oversized wiener. Really? An oversized wiener? You want me to play that? Where'd you get that idea?

[B]

I say yes. Scale plus 10. Okay, another one.

[A]

And another one. And another one.

[B]

And another.

[A]

Okay. Mr. Beast. Beast Games contestant says he has no regrets. Oh, this one?

[B]

Yeah, this is after last. This is a follow up to last week.

[A]

Okay, go ahead. What is it?

[B]

The guy is in a Mr. Beast game and they say if you hit that buzzer, all your castmates, your team will lose the whole game. And go.

[A]

They get nothing. And you get.

[B]

You get a million dollars. And he fucking hits it. Everyone's shocked. And the guy says, now that I'm a millionaire, I definitely don't regret my decision. And someone commented, why on God's green earth would I not take 1 million over a team of strangers?

[A]

Oh, they weren't his family or friends. Met in the green room, of course.

[B]

I mean, like, I'm all for being a team player, but these people you met in the green room and had fucking carrot sticks with for an hour.

[A]

Yeah. And I think I, you know, I don't know much about Mr. Beast, but I think he's. He's kind of brilliant in a way, just to create a show like this. First of all, his name is Bill Slother or something like that. To name yourself Mr. Beast is like early branding, you know, it's like the Hulk or something to invent this game, give away money. I remember the early days of Mr. Beast and it was like, I can give you $10,000 now or then I'll. Or I'll give that homeless person 10,000. You know, stuff like that man on the street with. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I can give you spade $10,000 or I can cure the disease. I'll take it. Oh, I didn't finish.

[A]

Yeah, you could help mankind. I'll give this to cure cancer. Or you can have this. I'll give it.

[B]

Give me, give me.

[A]

Well, women. Let me, Let me just finish. Going to help children all over the world. It's going to feed the whole. I give.

[B]

Can you do it in Hundreds. I've already forgotten what he's about to say. I'm just like, how am I going to break this down and carry it?

[A]

Could we get. We'll just put it out there in the universe. Mr. Beast, I would love to talk to you, but maybe he should.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Maybe he's his. The way he created this ecosystem, this entertainment super world is fascinating, but maybe it's a little bit like Trump. He can't say what he's doing because then other people might do it. Mr. Beast, they call him Mr. Beast. He's a beast. Mr. Beast. He gives away a lot of money. A lot of money. Gives away a lot of money. This Beast.

[B]

Leaning on that.

[A]

Quite frankly, quite frankly. Quite frankly, it's.

[B]

Man, Dana's broken.

[A]

Quite frankly, quite frankly, he's making a lot of.

[B]

A lot of. A lot of pe. A lot of people are saying he gets.

[A]

Many people are saying. Many people are saying. And if you look at it, you think about it, people are doing many things and they're going to do things and they're talking about things and they're going. Place a year.

[B]

What happened when Gavin Newsom was sitting in the back? I saw a clip. I didn't see.

[A]

Couldn't get in. They kind of.

[B]

Did he just pop over to Davos, like on his way?

[A]

Yeah. And he was trying to get in there, green room and everything. But he called it, Daddy's speech was sucked or something like that, so they wouldn't let him in and then they flipped him off or something. I don't remember.

[B]

I know politics is a little different.

[A]

These days, let's put it that way. From the days of George Bush, senior. Very polite, very careful.

[B]

Never. Let's do one more.

[A]

No, I'm in the middle of my. Never. Go ahead.

[B]

Never.

[A]

Never, ever, ever. All right. Carson Beck's response to being asked if he had class yesterday.

[B]

This is a college.

[A]

Okay, quarterback, I'm curious, did you have class yesterday? If so, what class? And I know there was a pep rally on campus. Just what has it been like being you as a student this week?

[B]

Particularly yesterday? No class. I graduated two years ago, so.

[A]

Okay, so you can still play in college.

[B]

The quarterback for the national championship team, I think in Florida, Miami. I just think maybe I'm inaccurate on that. But this nil stuff has gotten so crazy. I think the Miami team in the championship, the average age was between 22 and 25. And that's when you're supposed to graduate. So people are staying. I didn't know you could stay without Classes, and then they're getting like 2 million, 3 million a year, so they're not rushing as fast to the pros because they give you a rookie deal where the first year isn't that much. And they're like, I'll just stay here and rake it in and be like the hero of my college.

[A]

Name, image, likeness. You own it, you could sell it, you could monetize it. And the gymnast who's with the pitcher? I can't remember her name.

[B]

Oh, Livy.

[A]

She was making millions. Just kind of funny because I was at San Francisco State. If someone in the dorm be like, what are you doing? I just made 5 million some pictures of me on a balance beam.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I. I was. I was vacuuming the dorm to get money to be able to live in the dorm, and it was 15 stories high.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, honestly, if I was Libby Dunn, I wouldn't graduate. That's not why I didn't graduate.

[A]

But were you a gymnast? Did you have any skills?

[B]

I did do gymnastics. That's where I screwed up my neck.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

And. But I. I wasn't getting paid much to do anything. And if they saw my Skittle shed, I have a particular. I could have mumbled jokes around ASU and they would have given me a couple million bucks.

[A]

I know, but you didn't. And now you have regret. You need therapy.

[B]

I wouldn't take that dirty money. Yes, I would.

[A]

Hey, man, I've been poor and I've been rich.

[B]

What's better?

[A]

And everything in between? I don't know. I'm just doing kind of a character from. I'm auditioning for a movie character. I've been.

[B]

You're auditioning for Landman 19th spinoff?

[A]

God damn it, lady. I don't know what the you're trying to do. God damn. Everybody's up my ass today. What? Where'd you wake up? On the home side. The great thing about Landman is it's getting better. And Elliott is amazing with Billy Bob. Yeah, it's getting better. It really is.

[B]

All right. Anything else you want to say before I let you go?

[A]

Just be kind to your neighbors. Be kind to yourself. Make sure you eat real food as much as possible. Get your protein, hydrate every once in a while. Just have a drink of water and for the, you know, if. If you're bored, have a drink of water and do 10 push ups. If you just go, I have nothing to do. I want to say, David, what's your final statement?

[B]

Be kind. Rewind. And remember that the blockbuster Heather does.

[A]

Remember Only you can prevent forest fires.

[B]

What's that voice about that was rewinding.

[A]

Mean a tape. Rewinding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How about fast forward a cassette? See, here's what I. Oh, yeah.

[B]

You take a pencil and take a cassette and go.

[A]

The great thing is. What did Heather say?

[B]

She said take a cassette and put a pencil or eraser in there. If it gets stuck and you have to turn it, that's. We had to do the legwork back then.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We aren't like these spoiled kids.

[A]

As long as you say what you're doing, the sound effect will match. Like, I was moving some furniture today because people picture it and that it's. So the sound effect doesn't have to be accurate. I saw a bird the other day.

[B]

Helps open the door.

[A]

We're getting some horses on our farm. Two horses. Yeah. Now that was accurate. They're going to eat up the field. There's going to be an electrified fence. They'll never touch it. So they won't get like. They're gonna eat up our field for a month or so.

[B]

Heather, were you excited that he was getting a horse?

[A]

I was waiting for him to get.

[B]

Oh, good. Yeah, we need more. Other than chickens, you got to fill that place out.

[A]

Don't you need goats for that?

[B]

Are you gonna have goats to eat up your. Sure.

[A]

Whatever you guys want. Whatever you guys want.

[B]

Well, when we come up there, we want to see the goats and the horses and the chickens.

[A]

The whole place is full of horses, cows, incredible hawks, and real zootopia dogs.

[B]

Okay. All right. Thanks, everybody and goodbye, everybody.

[A]

Goodbye.

[B]

See you on the road. Okay, bye. Hey, guys. If you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your Facebook favorite podcast app, give us review five star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

[A]

If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

[B]

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung, Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

[A]

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by.

[B]

Phil Sweet tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

[A]

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney and Lauren Vieira.

[B]

Reach out with us. Any questions be asked and answered on the show? You can email us at Fly on the [e-mail] that's a u d a c d y I dot com.