Norm MacDonald, Grudges, and Loose in the Crotch with Kevin Nealon

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: Norm MacDonald, Grudges, and Loose in the Crotch with Kevin Nealon

Release Date: May 28, 2026
Guest: Kevin Nealon
Summary by: Expert Podcast Summarizer

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Overview

In this episode, comedy legends Dana Carvey and David Spade welcome their longtime friend and SNL alumnus Kevin Nealon. The trio dives into a spirited, playful conversation that blends inside-showbiz stories, classic SNL memories, and discussions of comedy evolution. They reminisce about stand-up, creativity, AI, SNL bits, notable grudges, and Norm MacDonald's singular humor. Regular listeners will enjoy the banter, deep cuts, and the distinctive blend of joshing and affection.

Main Themes:

• Showbiz reminiscences and SNL inside baseball
• Classic sketches, punchlines, and the mechanics of writing and performing comedy
• Navigating friendship and resentment in Hollywood
• The legacy and comedic genius of Norm MacDonald
• The joys and travails of being recognized (or not) as a celebrity

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening Banter & Modern Life (03:04 – 09:55)

• AI and Writing: Dana and David riff on AI tools like Claude and how people use them as faux writing partners ("...you go, oh, I have a writing partner that when I wake up at 5am, I'm like, oh, they will write with me." – Spade, 06:57).
• Comedy and Scheduling: The trio jokes about the chaos and over-scheduling of their lives, poking fun at LA-to-NY itineraries and digital life.
• Funny Observation: Nealon and friends debate AI “mistresses,” referencing Her (the Joaquin Phoenix film), and question if AI can convincingly feign interest in your daily life (“You could teach a female voice to feign interest in your day” – Spade, 09:28).

SNL, Stand-Up, and Comedy Craft (11:07 – 19:59)

• SNL Camaraderie: Kevin talks about keeping in touch with old SNL cast members and memories of a smaller, tighter cast ("I see Dana... I see Spade here and there" – Nealon, 11:27).
• Classic Jokes: They lovingly retell old stand-up bits ("I took my dog to a movie...He hated the book." – 12:20), and discuss parallel evolution in stand-up routines.
• Developing Material: Discussion of 'clean' vs. 'dirty' comedy and Spade’s admiration for Kevin’s innuendo-laden style:
  "Kevin is not dirty. And sometimes I get a little dirty. But Kevin just relies on clean, actual jokes." – Spade, 14:55

Viral Clips & Social Media (15:37 – 19:59)

• Nealon’s Viral Art Gallery Bit: Kevin shares his viral moment at MoMA (“How much are they selling it for?” – Nealon, 15:58), envisioning a lo-fi, “man about town” show.

SNL Sketches & Comedy Boundaries (22:20 – 36:36)

• Most Popular SNL Sketches: The gang revisits the sketches that blew up on YouTube:
  • Hans and Franz ("We had so much fun writing those two characters..." – Nealon, 30:04)
  • "Stay away from the blacks" (ski trail bit: "He meant the black diamond run" – Nealon, 18:07)
  • "Bad Idea Jeans", "Ching Change", and outrageous, now-borderline SNL humor ("I stand by it. Because it had no stereotypes. There was no stereotype for a man who comes to America to sell pet chickens but loves them so much he doesn't want anyone to buy them." – Carvey, 35:19).
• Boundaries of Comedy, Then vs. Now: They reflect on what would be allowed today, and how the internet resuscitates and re-contextualizes their old material (“They should be able to go back and, you know, cancel you for different things you did 30 years ago” – Nealon, 35:00).

Hollywood Grudges & David's Infamous “Attack” Story (36:29 – 44:07)

• Grudges and Career Tensions:
  • "Would you want to know who has a grudge against you?" – Nealon, 44:16
• David’s Home Invasion: Spade recounts (with humor) the time he was attacked by an assistant who felt passed over for a movie role (“The red flag store is running out of business at this point because we just. There's so many red flags.” – Spade, 40:19).
• Navigating Entitlement: The complexities around Hollywood promises and letting people down.

Norm MacDonald Appreciation (55:23 – 57:38)

• Remembering Norm: All three praise Norm’s posthumous rise and share stories of his irreverence, stubbornness, and comedic integrity ("He really has become a legend" – Nealon, 55:44).
• Memorable Norm Moments: Including his golf outing with Nealon (“he’s always late…I can't find my shoes” – Nealon, 56:27), and his infamous ability to agitate hosts on The View and Conan.

The Celebrity Experience: Fame, Recognition & Ego (52:11 – 55:21)

• Getting Recognized…or Not: Kevin, Dana, and David share hilarious tales of being half-recognized or mistaken for each other in public ("You're not getting recognized as much anymore." – Nealon, 52:47; “You look like that guy in Grownups…he plays the blonde guy in it.” – Spade, 54:37).

The Work: Specials, Movies, and Creative Pursuits (15:15, 22:20, 64:45-67:05)

• Kevin Nealon’s Projects: Discussing Nealon’s new standup special Loosen the Crotch ([15:15], [64:45]), his YouTube series Hiking with Kevin, and upcoming movie Mermaid (22:20).
• Art & Books: Nealon highlights his caricature paintings and art book (“I Exaggerate: My Brushes with Fame” – 66:09).
• Oscar-Nominated Documentary: Nealon produced Come See Me in the Good Light (65:39).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On SNL Character Development:
  "We pumped you up…and then Kevin spontaneously said 'and if you don't believe that we could do this...' so that unraveled a million jokes"
  – Carvey on Hans and Franz’s comedic DNA. (30:14)

• On the Realities of Showbiz Promises:
  "I got attacked…It's not a hundred percent your fault, but I don't think...It's like 99%."
  – Spade playfully blaming Nealon for an old assistant’s meltdown. (41:01)

• On Recognition:
  "You're not getting recognized as much anymore."
  – Nealon quoting a radio host, musing on aging in Hollywood. (52:47)

• On Norm MacDonald:
  "People love Norm MacDonald, you know...he really has become a legend."
  – Nealon (55:42)

• On Navigating Old Sketches & Modern Sensibilities:
  "There’s no stereotype for a man who comes to America to sell pet chickens but loves them so much he doesn’t want anyone to buy them."
  – Carvey (35:19)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:04 | Kevin Nealon joins, AI jokes, chatbots & comedy writing | | 11:07 | SNL memories, tight cast reminiscence | | 15:15 | Launching Nealon’s special Loosen the Crotch | | 18:07 | The “stay away from the blacks” (ski trail) bit | | 22:20 | Kevin’s role in the upcoming film Mermaid | | 30:04 | Deep dive into Hans and Franz | | 35:00 | Cancel culture and SNL’s old sketches | | 36:29 | David Spade’s “assistant attack” story | | 44:16 | Discussion: Would you want to know who holds a grudge? | | 52:11 | Stories about public recognition, the ego of celebrity | | 55:23 | Reminiscing about Norm MacDonald | | 64:45 | Plugs: Nealon’s stand-up special, art, and new projects |

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Final Plugs & Closing Notes

• Kevin Nealon:

  • Loosen the Crotch (YouTube, 800 Pound Gorilla platform)
  • Hiking with Kevin (YouTube series)
  • Book: I Exaggerate: My Brushes with Fame (art and anecdotes)
  • Art prints: KevinNealonArt (Shopify)
  • Producer of documentary Come See Me in the Good Light (Apple TV)
  • Appears in the upcoming film Mermaid (May 27 release).

• Dana and Kevin LIVE: Upcoming live date in Southern Washington and at Seattle Zoo’s outdoor concert series, with Hans & Franz material.

• Classic Chemistry: This episode is a masterclass in blending nostalgia with quick, contemporary wit. A treat for comedy and SNL fans, boasting generous helpings of warmth, creativity, and self-deprecating humor.

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For more stories, sketches, and legendary banter, follow Fly on the Wall on your favorite podcast app or YouTube at @flyonthewallpod. To ask questions or share feedback, email [e-mail].

Transcript

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

I like that. Yeah.

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[Kevin Nealon]

Manuel, Manuel Miranda, you know, who wrote Hamilton.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

And I was using one of those, you know, mics that you hook to your collar or whatever. First time? Yeah, first time I was using it, and we finished the hike and I forgot to take his off, so I'm walking. It took me like a half hour to get to him. And I know that everything he said is on that recorder for that half hour. And I never listened to it because I didn't want to know.

[Dana Carvey]

Could we listen to it?

[Kevin Nealon]

Nobody said, here's. Here's something. If you want to get brought down, a lot is go on chat GPT and ask the question, are you handsome? Is Dana Carvey handsome? And see what they say. My son did that. My son did that to me. And it said, well, you know, it depends on what you mean by handsome. You know,

[David Spade]

I just saw Kevin Nealon last night drive up Comedy Store and ignore me? No. I was talking to someone. I'm like, there's Kevin. He's too tall to talk to, especially with all these witnesses. So I was gonna go bust his balls a little bit, but he parked and he walked the other way into the front of the Comedy Store, which no one does. And always funny. What can we say about Kevin Nealon? I always give him compliments when I see him because I remember probably 50 of his jokes, and I say them all the time.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, Loosen the crotch. You will talk about that a little bit. That's the special. It's on YouTube. Crushing it.

[David Spade]

He's got the hiking YouTube show Hiking with Kevin Nealon.

[Dana Carvey]

He's got his paintings of Saturday Night Live people that you can order.

[David Spade]

It's called. Great name, isn't it called My Brush with Fame?

[Dana Carvey]

I think so.

[David Spade]

Not a great name. Heather.

[Dana Carvey]

So this is our pal. So we just joke around and kid around and move around, go around.

[David Spade]

This the kind you just sit back and listen to us and try to. We try to crack each other up. And that's.

[Dana Carvey]

That's pretty much it's all.

[David Spade]

But those are the really fun. You know?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

So here's Kevin Neon My partner in

[Dana Carvey]

crime in Han and France. If you don't watch this one, it's on you. So long, losers. Kevin, Neil, freshen up. Slap yourself in the face as hard as you can.

[David Koechner]

Man, oh man, what a morning.

[David Spade]

I know that it's usually like there's probably nothing going on. You're gonna do the podcast. The second you say we're doing it, chaos.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you had to. What? You had to drive someone to an appointment and stuff like that?

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Koechner]

I drive Susan to a doctor's appointment, but, you know, you. We made these so far in advance. And then, you know, my calendar doesn't show my whole page, you know, my phone. And then I think, yeah, I could drive you, I could drive you. And then, oh, oh, oh.

[David Spade]

You scroll down that day and it says more stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

They're coming out with a new chess, kind of a new kind of chess game. And it's just, it's a board. But you can see all this scheduling stuff that goes on and the back and forth, the emails.

[David Koechner]

I like that.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, because it's like I wrote a manifesto because I'm going to go to la, do podcasts and then go to New York and back and I wrote a manifesto. It was like, okay, spillover bag leaving car in la. Three shirts to New York. Okay. Remember?

[David Spade]

And then, you know, for the flight.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it's. And then all the rest. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Who told you that?

[Dana Carvey]

Claude knows. Claude's. Claude's sister. A Claudette.

[David Spade]

You know what Claude is Claude.

[David Koechner]

It could be something that happens from a bear.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it's an AI. That's close.

[Kevin Nealon]

Oh, yeah, I do know what that is.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I do know, because we were saying, Dana was saying that his friend writes with Claude and I was thinking, talks to Claude. That's not a bad idea if you're writing. Not like have a whole script written by AI, but you go, oh, I have a writing partner that when I wake up at 5:00am, I'm like, oh, they will write with me. Now we have to wait.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, he's talking to him while he drives and they're writing and Claude says, okay. And then cl. They come up with three ideas. He goes, how about the second one? Claude writes all three out within 20 seconds and reads them to him. So do you guys know what a Claude Hopper is? A clod hopper?

[David Spade]

Yeah, I've heard of it.

[Dana Carvey]

You don't?

[David Koechner]

He goes from one clock to another.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a. It's, it's. It's Claude. Claude with a pretty good vertical Is a clodhopper.

[David Spade]

Is it still clawed like a bear? We. Or we passed.

[Dana Carvey]

No. Didn't you stall. Didn't you call people clodhoppers as a kid?

[David Spade]

Yeah, I like it. Dirt clawed was a big thing when I grew up in Arizona. Is a lot of dirt clots.

[Dana Carvey]

My brother Scott once said that what. What we are is hybrid apes on a dirt clod in space. That's humans on Earth.

[David Spade]

Yeah, maybe that.

[Dana Carvey]

That's him with stiff black coffee.

[Kevin Nealon]

No.

[David Koechner]

You know, I know a friend of Min has a. A mistress that's AI and talks to her all the time. You know, a pod and.

[Kevin Nealon]

No, a bot.

[David Koechner]

I mean, a bot. And it's almost like she knows everything about him.

[Kevin Nealon]

How was your meeting today?

[David Koechner]

Huh?

[Kevin Nealon]

And was.

[David Koechner]

Was Gerald there? And did you get the. The contract signed? That's nice. And are you going back to that restaurant tonight? When are you going back there? So his wife found out and she got very jealous and she said, you got to at least change the voice to a man's voice. So that's kind of like a bot blocker right there.

[David Spade]

Yeah, bot blocker, all the fucking stuff.

[Dana Carvey]

That's the Joaquin Phoenix movie Her, where he gets obsessed with the audiobot. But is there a digital picture of a very attractive woman as well?

[Kevin Nealon]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

Or is it just a voice?

[David Koechner]

I don't know. Maybe you can get that too.

[Dana Carvey]

But I kind of think you do know, Kevin. I don't want to.

[Kevin Nealon]

Well, it changes the whole.

[David Koechner]

It changes my whole perception when it's a man's voice. Like a flamboyant man or something, you know?

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

So it's like, it's.

[Kevin Nealon]

I tell you, this whole AI thing, man, it's getting carried away.

[David Koechner]

It's getting carried away.

[David Spade]

But, you know, Kevin, do you think you could teach a female voice to feign interest in your day somehow with

[Dana Carvey]

AI of course you can do that. Yeah. What if it goes.

[David Spade]

I can't do that. I can't be interested more than three days in a row.

[Kevin Nealon]

All right.

[David Koechner]

Let's get back to writing that script. Sarah. In fact, why don't you do this work? I'll check it.

[David Spade]

You're not done.

[Dana Carvey]

They don't complain. They never get tired. I mean, it's the greatest thing ever.

[David Spade]

I might be on something.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. It's like it's gonna solve energy. It's gonna save the planet. You guys will see.

[David Spade]

I'm gonna put 100 into AI. Let it ride.

[David Koechner]

I do rely on it a lot, though.

[Kevin Nealon]

Anytime.

[David Koechner]

I have a question, like, you know what? You know how do I fix this? Or what's, you know, the population of Chicago? Anything, you know, that's very convenient.

[Dana Carvey]

Let me ask you guys a question. So I'm on Google. I didn't remember signing up for their AI Gemini, but I'll do an email chain and then I'll just see a summary on top. Mark Kurvitz said this, this, and then in fainter font in the bottom, it has me responding, and it sounds like me. Future's here, fellas.

[David Spade]

Oh, it gives you a possible answer.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

For talking like me attitude in there.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, once it confused one of our meal changes, started talking like you. And I go, no, no, I don't want to sound like an idiot, dude.

[David Spade]

I try to get Siri and Alexa do a threesome. Anyway, what else is going on?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, who hasn't anyway?

[David Spade]

How.

[Dana Carvey]

Kevin Nean is our gu.

[David Spade]

A headliner.

[Dana Carvey]

That's our cold opening with Kevin Nealon, our longtime friend, colleague, one of the. One of the greats, one of the funniest.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Business acquaintance. What's up with you? I mean, are you. Where are you? Where. What's your. What do you got? What do you got for us? What's. What's in your lot?

[David Koechner]

I got a lot going on, and first of all, it's good to see you guys and to talk to you. You know, people always ask me, they say, who do you see? Like you. Who do you see anymore? Do you see, you know, your cast from snl? I said, well, yeah, I see Dana. I talk to Dana a lot. And I see Spade, you know, here and there. And, you know, from the initial cast, you know, that's. Not to mention all the other Dennis. I haven't seen Dennis lately. I'll see love. It's rarely hello, hello. But that's about it. I haven't seen Victoria or Nora around.

[David Spade]

No, you had a tight little cast, too. You could actually keep track of them. We were.

[Dana Carvey]

We were tight. This is a tight little.

[David Spade]

I mean, it was. Was it seven, eight, nine? How many people?

[David Koechner]

Seven, I think seven, including Whitney. Whitney.

[Dana Carvey]

I knew you wouldn't like it. I just didn't know. Should we tell. Would we tell the listeners that joke that he did forever that always killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy comes up to him, you know, I took his. I took my dog to a movie. Guy comes up and says, I can't believe your dog is watching the movie. And I said, I know. He hated the book.

[David Spade]

That's not bad.

[Dana Carvey]

It was a great joke. It always killed the other one he

[David Koechner]

had was And I don't have the. The numbers right here, but you could get the idea of it. You know, there's 5 billion people that live in China. So even if you're like, on a

[Kevin Nealon]

one and a thousand kind of guy,

[David Koechner]

there's 250 million people just like you.

[Kevin Nealon]

Something like that.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. Yeah.

[David Koechner]

So I have a special that's out now. It's called yes, Loosen the crotch. It's on YouTube.

[David Spade]

Loosen the crotch.

[David Koechner]

800 pound gorilla platform.

[David Spade]

800 pound gorilla. Okay.

[David Koechner]

We haven't done a special in about 10 years. And I told Spade this. I said, you know, before I was doing it, I was looking for a backdrop, you know, like, what. What. What are people using, like, curtains? Is it. Or is some kind of a. And I'm scrolling through the zillions of comics that are on Netflix, and I come across Spade. And my opening joke was one that he was doing already, but he expounded on it. It was much more detailed. Mine was a hit and run.

[Dana Carvey]

So. Parallel development.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. So, yeah, all of a sudden I had to drop my opening joke. That gave me all the confidence that worked so hard. Oh, you know, it worked so well. It was basically, you know, you'll remember this, Faith. And I don't know if it was a current special or what, but I said, this woman comes up to me at my hotel, and she's one of these people likes to warn you that she's a hugger. She goes, I'm a hugger. I said, I'm a kisser.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I guess.

[Dana Carvey]

David. David, how did yours go? Was it.

[David Spade]

It was something like that. It was during COVID So I said, are you still allowed in this day and age just be a hugger? Because you announce it like I'm a hugger. And I go, I'm an ass grabber. Then I go, come on, I'm a camel toe grazer. I always have been. Bumper crotch.

[Dana Carvey]

So they were. They were slightly.

[David Spade]

I know that.

[Dana Carvey]

That got me.

[David Spade]

That's a little. That's where you go, this is gonna be a roller coaster.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's take a short break.

[David Spade]

I will say Kevin is not dirty. And sometimes I get a little dirty. But Kevin just relies on clean, actual jokes.

[Dana Carvey]

Innuendo.

[David Spade]

Yeah. And. And he smiles a lot during his jokes, and it puts the crowd at ease.

[Dana Carvey]

Right. He sneaks up on them.

[David Koechner]

It distracts. I've been told that my comedy sneaks up on people, you know, but yeah,

[Dana Carvey]

because you're saying it so casually and it's.

[David Spade]

It.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, the one that's famous it's all. It's huge on YouTube is stay away from the blacks, which is.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah, talk a lot.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And that. That really is kind of like such a clever way to end. Do you want to explain it so people don't think it's.

[David Koechner]

Well, yeah, yeah. But before I do that, I just want to say that I posted something a while ago, last week, that I've never had so many hits on it. It's like almost 30 million people I've seen it. Yeah, yeah. It's a basic. I went into the Museum of Modern Art and there was a Starry Night painting.

[Dana Carvey]

I saw it.

[David Spade]

Oh, that thing caught fire. I saw that.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. And I just, you know, I want to do it. It was during COVID area, so I had the mask on and I was standing in front of Starry Night painting by this van Gogh, and he has this kind of snooty art snob next to me. I said, is this a famous painting? She goes, yes, yes, it's Starry Night. I said, oh, and how much are they selling it for? She goes, it's not for sale. That thing would cost you like hundreds of millions of dollars. I said, okay, and what's the guy's name? It's a Bengo. Said, van what? She goes, oh, my God. It's like you don't know who. Excuse me. Is this like an adult depending it or was a.

[Kevin Nealon]

She goes, it's like you don't know

[David Koechner]

who the Mona Lisa is. And she.

[Dana Carvey]

Wow.

[David Koechner]

She left. Wow. But so it's funny what people like on.

[Dana Carvey]

I saw that, and I instantly thought, that's a perfect area for you to be in. And I actually thought to myself, we go to Ted Sarando's. It's called Kevin Nealon, man about town. And it's you just doing that kind of lo fi Canon camera stuff. We didn't even see you in the video.

[David Spade]

Right. Which is.

[Dana Carvey]

We heard you.

[David Spade]

Which is funny because they believe it's just a regular dumb going like that.

[Dana Carvey]

What is.

[David Spade]

What are they charging for that? Like a couple thousand? Like if it. They sold it.

[David Koechner]

Yeah, a couple thousand.

[Kevin Nealon]

No, I've already.

[David Koechner]

I've already thought about Dana. My next thing is going to be the Hollywood sign. I'm going to go up behind it, you know?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Why do people.

[David Spade]

What's the point?

[Kevin Nealon]

I would say.

[Dana Carvey]

What.

[David Koechner]

Why are people looking at this?

[Kevin Nealon]

What?

[David Koechner]

It doesn't spell anything.

[Kevin Nealon]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[David Koechner]

You gotta go around the other side to look at. I say, yeah, but there's fences, so you can't go around the other side.

[Kevin Nealon]

So

[David Spade]

everyone gets mad.

[David Koechner]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

How.

[David Koechner]

What's your favorite letter? You know, what is this one? There's come. This works to become a celebrity, do they have to touch it or something? What is the deal?

[David Spade]

Do they do movie premieres here?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, the same attitude. That guy is from Midwest attitude.

[David Koechner]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

But the.

[David Koechner]

The black thing was, I said, you know, I. Here's the bit, actually, I'll condense it a little bit. When I first started skiing, I didn't

[Kevin Nealon]

know anything about it.

[David Koechner]

I didn't know they labeled the trails for difficulty. You know, like, they had the greens for the easy and the blues, intermediates, you know, the blacks, difficult. And I pull into this convenience store and ask the guy behind the counter in the mountains there. I said, what. What's the best mountain to go skiing at around here? I don't know anything about this. He goes, well, I like Copper Mountain. He said, but, you know, a lot of people don't like Copper Mountain because of all the blacks. And I go, what? He goes, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of blacks over there. And he's talking about the ski. You know, the ski run.

[Dana Carvey]

I know.

[David Koechner]

He goes, but he said, I don't mind the blacks. I have a lot of fun with them. They're. They're a lot of fun, but they will beat you up. They'll definitely beat you up. And very difficult. Some of them not very well groomed. Now, my sister went down in a black. And she's never come back again. And she was like last year.

[Dana Carvey]

But I didn't know it went this far.

[David Spade]

That got longer. I didn't know that.

[David Koechner]

If you want the good. If you want the good powder, that's where you got to go.

[Dana Carvey]

So that was the completely innocent, just about ski. Ski runs.

[David Koechner]

And there was also. The guy warned me about some black ice outside, some black ice. I wouldn't slip on it.

[Dana Carvey]

Black guys, I just want to see you with just like. Yeah. Monuments like Golden Gate Bridge. I mean, what. It's. What. What's that about? What's that for?

[David Spade]

I mean.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

Where does that. Does that go to Europe?

[David Koechner]

How far. How far does that go?

[Dana Carvey]

And it's orange. It's. Quite frankly, it's orange.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. It's not.

[David Spade]

They should have made it golden.

[David Koechner]

And. And do you think that it's impossible for that to stay up? I mean, it's. There's no way that can stay up, is there, across the water there. How many people got out of Alcatraz by using that bridge? You know, just stupid questions. Just the dumb guy people get. People put up with it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, just annoying, man. Kind of.

[David Spade]

Hey, before we jump back into the show, let's take a quick break. All right. Not just any break. This is a refreshing break with Snapple. We all know about Snapple's iconic real facts, so let's take a minute to go over some of my faves.

[Dana Carvey]

Snapple Real fact. 455 movie trailers used to come on at the end of the movies, but no one stuck around to watch them.

[David Spade]

I've heard that. Snapple Real Fact 831. Adults laugh only about 15 to 100 times a day, while preschoolers laugh an average of 300 times a day.

[Dana Carvey]

Snapple Real Fact 1983. The first player drafted to play pro football never played in the league.

[David Spade]

That's interesting. Snapple real fact 1274. Kickball is referred to as soccer baseball in some parts of Canada. Hmm.

[Dana Carvey]

So grab a Snapple, take a second, enjoy the moment.

[David Spade]

Enjoy the moment, because let's be honest, this might be the most refreshing part of your day. Snapple, make your break more interesting.

[Dana Carvey]

Summer. What do you think about summer coming up?

[David Spade]

Sneaks up on me. Yeah, I know it is coming up. I'm trying to juggle plans, juggle meals, and enjoy the weather. Instacart's made that easier. I can sit outside, build my car with everything I need for the week, not have to step away from what I'm doing.

[Dana Carvey]

I've been leaning on delivery through Instacart for meal prep, especially David. Like getting fresh veggies, proteins, even those perfectly ripe avocado. I set my preferences once, and it's so seamless, it saves me a lot of time and makes sure I'm getting all the quality I want. And the convenience is huge.

[David Spade]

You know, when I'm busy or just don't feel like making a store run, I can order in the morning and have everything ready for the same day. And sometimes in as fast as 30 minutes. It just fits into my schedule instead of the other way around. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries how you like and do it instantly.

[David Koechner]

So you asked me what I have coming up, and there's a movie coming out soon, in the next week or so, called Mermaid that I play a part in.

[David Spade]

Mermaid.

[David Koechner]

You know, Mermaid. Johnny. Kirk Fox.

[David Spade]

I saw Kirk Fox.

[David Koechner]

Kirk Fox, Yeah. Robert Patrick. Or is it Patrick? Robert. I think it's Robert Patrick, it's tough when these people have the same for, you know, different first names for the firm. Like Jeff. Jeff Jeffries. I think that. Right, yeah. Or people like that. Anyway, yeah. So it's a really cool movie. It's kind of a thriller. It's kind of like Splash on, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, yeah. Is there a mermaid? There's a mermaid, but it's not real.

[David Koechner]

Mermaid. It's a real. It's. It's not your typical mermaid. The memory, the mermaid, when you see it, it's. I don't want to give away the thing, but the face is totally distorted, and it's almost alien. Like, it's very scary. But it opens up with Tom Arnold on a big yacht. It's nighttime, and he's drinking.

[Kevin Nealon]

Hey, buddy.

[David Koechner]

Hey, buddy.

[Kevin Nealon]

And he's drinking, and he hears a

[David Koechner]

noise in one of the dinghies in the back of his big yacht. That's tarp. And he goes under, and he looks at it, and what he sees horrifies him. So he takes a shotgun, he shoots the mermaid. No, it falls over the water. So it's wounded, it's not dead, and the mother's with it. And the thing washes up to the shore. I don't want to tell you. I don't want to give you the whole movie because. But anyway, it's about this guy, this Percocet addict played by Johnny Pemberton, who rescues the mermaid, takes it in, keeps it in his bathtub, keeps it hopped up on Percocet and the mermaid, and at the same time, he's being chased by this kind of, like, druggie drug guy who. He owes him money, so he kind of. It's the whole movie is kind of like him trying to escape from that guy and also get the mermaid bananas away from these people.

[David Spade]

Well, is it hard to find a real mermaid to be in the movie or. You know, the thing is.

[David Koechner]

No, no third dime. A dozen men. You see them everywhere. They're like dolphins.

[David Spade]

You know, you get a real mermaid, you're in the movie, then you go, wait, this is a real movie. This. This mermaid is worth more than us doing the movie. When you cast it, you know, you have to wear a flipper.

[Dana Carvey]

If you're.

[David Spade]

Who played the mermaid?

[Dana Carvey]

Sarah.

[David Koechner]

Shirley McLain, oddly.

[Dana Carvey]

Shirley McLean.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, who voiced the mermaid? What is the mermaid talk?

[David Koechner]

Deborah winger.

[Kevin Nealon]

She did 18.

[David Koechner]

She did E. T. As well. That's the rumor that she did E.T.

[David Spade]

for real?

[Dana Carvey]

Debbie. Debbie Winger.

[David Spade]

Oh, no. Dana knows her from the Travolta sketch. Oh, my God, here we go.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, right. No, right. You should ride that bull with me some. Damn.

[David Spade]

Even I remember

[Dana Carvey]

slack. So weird. I mean, weird is the word for people out there who still harbor a desire to do a great job. Travolta is slack. It's like, really weird. That's it. That's him from the 1970s. John, if you're listening, come on. And send.

[David Spade]

We love Travolta for Quentin Tarantino's Welcome Back Cotter. I played Horse Shack. It was quite. I saw a clip of it on TikTok. I don't remember. Have you ever seen a sketch where you don't really remember everything about it? I'm like, of course.

[Dana Carvey]

There's too many.

[David Koechner]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

We did a pre tape. We're walking down the street, like, all tough. I'm like, I don't remember.

[Dana Carvey]

Let me ask you guys a question on YouTube, SNL, what's your biggest banger in terms of views? Which sketch? And maybe you don't know, period. Yeah. From when you were on snl. I mean. And also it can be just one that you remember that got. Maybe. Because I have one in mine that got way more than I thought it would ever get.

[David Spade]

I'm at Kevin's on YouTubes.

[Kevin Nealon]

Well, that's definitely a big one. Yeah.

[David Spade]

If that count.

[Dana Carvey]

That's. That's a biggie.

[Kevin Nealon]

The one I had the most fun in, I think was called Ilk Contore or Contoura. You know, Bellissimo as well. Yeah. They were these Italian waiters. Kirsty Alley and I were on a date.

[David Spade]

Dana.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, Dana was in it too. Yeah. You were dry humping Victoria on the table behind us.

[David Spade]

Yeah, right.

[Dana Carvey]

That was. That was ill leave. I had her legs up, but it was crazy.

[Kevin Nealon]

I don't know how we got away with a lot of stuff back then, but.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, Smigel was told by the census soup guy not to do that for the air show. And he faked like he was trying to signal me right before. 3, 2, 1, go. I see him kind of waving. I just ignored it. But yeah, that was, you know, perspective

[David Spade]

of Kevin is the date. I didn't even remember that. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Who said, yeah, can I lick your face? Oh, totally. For sure.

[Kevin Nealon]

She was so gung ho.

[Dana Carvey]

This was flattering that March Marcelo from SNL was doing an Italian waiter type sketch, I think, with Pedro Mescal. And so they said, look at this sketch as a kind of context, the one that you were in with me. And so. And he said, yes, it was better than ours. And we all said at the same time, well, we got away with so much. Well, got away. You could do a different stratum of comedy back then.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, I mean, look at the

[Kevin Nealon]

penis sketch, you know, hey, nice penis, dad. Denver, huh? Let's get penis town.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Is that what you said?

[Dana Carvey]

It was a nudist colony and there was a fence, so we were all bare chested. Tom Hanks was in it, Kevin. And we were all just commenting on, hey, terrific penis. I mean, it went on for like eight minutes.

[David Spade]

The most penises in any sketch in history, right?

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, yeah. Dana and I also had an idea. We used to kind of riff in there. Dana would stay over the garage sometimes when he came down from San Francisco at a studio apartment up there in his house we rented. But we would be out in the driveway a lot and we would ref on ideas, you know, for characters before either one of us got snl. And one of them, one of the characters were these two porn actors getting made up, sitting in the director's chair in front of the mirrors and the makeup art the fluffers were in and they were working down there. And we'd be just talking regularly like, hey, you know, so, Ted, what are you doing tomorrow?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, you know, I don't know. Just gonna hang out, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Marcy.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah. Give me a. Give me a little more sparkle on the left. I did, but for the people. Everything was for the people. For the people.

[Dana Carvey]

Fluff it up real nice for the people. And we ended up doing it on SNL one time. Right? We did it on snl.

[Kevin Nealon]

Did we really? I don't even remember.

[Dana Carvey]

Maybe it didn't make it to air. Yeah, we were bare chested. Yeah. Fluff it up real nice. And then we started talking about planting down there. Make a little shrubbery around it, you know?

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, yeah, Put some. Put some stripes on the side just to make it look like it's going faster, you know, for the people. For the people.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, we had. That was. That didn't go anywhere.

[David Spade]

But we have to make it on lately. Had Kevin on Twitter. Dana doesn't look at Twitter as much. I follow Kevin.

[Dana Carvey]

It's called X. Sorry,

[David Spade]

it's called.

[Dana Carvey]

Sorry.

[David Spade]

Oh, wait, it's called X. They just changed that 500 years ago. So. Yeah, I see a lot of hear me now and believe me later. And it's good. I. No one's. I love a good Hans and Franz, so.

[Kevin Nealon]

Well, we had more fun. We had so much fun writing those two characters as Dana will Attest. I mean, we couldn't. I mean, I never had more fun with a character than writing those two.

[Dana Carvey]

I find that the fun. Well, because Lauren once said to me, it's like it's all about who's. Who's, you know, the most badass. That, you know, I'm better than you. But secretly embedded in it, which was a notion that when Kevin and I are riffing was their defensiveness. And that's first. We were just doing it. We pump you up this and that. This is I riffing on the phone. And then Kevin spontaneously just said, and if you don't believe that we could do this. So that unraveled a million jokes because then we were. Had a measure. Enemies, assuming they're not respecting us and then saying these torturous things we would do if we could very easily find them and do these things. And that's to me, I've never gotten tired of that part of it. We are actually threatening to torture people.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, the one line that. I don't know who thought this one, but it never. It was a perfect Hans and Franz. Your buttocks are like marshmallows. You're lucky we don't have a campfire here. So to unpack, that is, your buttocks are like this. And we are going to light your ass on fire. Right. Is what they're saying. Right.

[Kevin Nealon]

We'll make some s' mores out of you. Yeah, that's right. You know, but, you know, in.

[Dana Carvey]

In.

[Kevin Nealon]

In the long run, they would never do that. That would be too scared and defensive.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, no. It was all a threat. It never, never left the studio.

[Kevin Nealon]

Empty threats. Empty threats.

[David Koechner]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

I'll take that mic stand like your little skinny arms and snap it.

[Dana Carvey]

Another one I liked was like, we could very easily strap the shape this flab in your back into a rope ladder so you could climb down into the sewer, because that's where losers live. So it was like complete abstract, torturous.

[David Spade]

I just like that everything is easy for them. Like, it wouldn't be hard at all.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you remember the Arnold one? That Arnold could very easily flickers with

[Kevin Nealon]

his little finger and he was flying across the room. So you land in your own baby poop.

[Dana Carvey]

Baby poop armor could very easily flip you and you fly across the room and land your own baby. It's just poetry. I'm sorry. It's. It's. We're gonna. By the way, we should plug. We're gonna do a couple of dates. One in Southern Washington, near Portland. I don't Know the name of the town. And then we're going to do an outdoor concert. Seattle Zoo day on the green. So Kevin and I, we will. Hans and Franz will definitely appear. Yeah. Because I want to make jokes about Seattle. The Space Needle, you say? It's so large, we could use it like a little toothpick. It doesn't even make sense.

[David Spade]

I would use that Covid job.

[Kevin Nealon]

If the lion in the cage over there was to be released, he would be snapped into flubber more quickly than you could say flubber flab. That's where Data's. Data's character became kind of. I don't know what it is. You know, he's very teasing, like a very coy.

[Dana Carvey]

I got really bored. The Puget Sounds should be called Puny Sound because they're so bad. And they're, They're. They're. Puns and threats are so ridiculous. And there's. They're so self satisfied about that.

[David Spade]

You guys, roast Seattle. Hans and Bronze, roast Seattle.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Sorry about the homeless situation, but at least some of them have muscles.

[David Spade]

That one goes too far.

[Dana Carvey]

Doesn't even make sense.

[David Spade]

What about you? Were you in Bad Idea Jeans? I see that one. I know, Phil. I know Mike. We were all bleachers about.

[Kevin Nealon]

You know what? I think I was. I think I. I think I might have been in there. Why don't you chat gbt?

[David Spade]

I feel like you were. But they don't think Dana was. But I see that sometimes. Bad Idea Jeans was a good, funny one. I don't know if it was Jack Handy or if it was Smile.

[Dana Carvey]

There was one Kevin and I did with Rob Schneider that it casually would pop up, and then it was like, I don't know, three or four years ago, it was at 16 million, but in the. In the last two years or so, it's gone up to 21 million trillion. It's so politically correct.

[David Spade]

Oh, is it the security.

[Dana Carvey]

Security guards sharing Sharon Stone.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Doing so inappropriate.

[David Spade]

And I miss doing that inappropriate comedy.

[Dana Carvey]

And I'm playing an Indian guy, you know, so

[Kevin Nealon]

they should. They should be able to go back and, you know, cancel you for different things you did 30 years ago. You know, like the Asian guy and the Indian guy.

[Dana Carvey]

Ching. Change the Asian gentleman. And who could be mad?

[David Spade]

Think that was wrong. Horrible.

[Dana Carvey]

Well. Well, it didn't harbor. I stand by it. Because it had no stereotypes. There was no stereotypes in it. There's no stereotype for a man who comes to America to sell pet chickens but loves them so much he doesn't want anyone to Buy them.

[David Spade]

Nothing negative. He's happy.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. What about you? Yeah, David, what's your most.

[David Spade]

By the way, on edge. I was the edgest comic available.

[Kevin Nealon]

You were. You were so edgy that Eddie Murphy threatened you.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

I mean, I've seen Hollywood minute bits on Tick Tock or wherever. Again, I was like, ay. Like some of them, it's hard to draw the line between clever and then a little too mean. And I think Downey, sometimes we'll ask when he comes on, would push me a little bit. You know what are you scared to go after this guy? And I'm like, downey, now you're getting your anger at celebrities.

[Dana Carvey]

But then they always, they hide in the shadows. And then it's like, even Ching changed. Was Dana. First time I got a writer's credit. Dana Carvey's Ching chains character, most racist thing. And I never got a writing credit till that time.

[David Spade]

Now you're the guy. I have a funny story about Kevin that. Remember when I got attacked in my house? It's not a hundred percent your fault, but I don't think. I don't think.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, should we fill in the listeners or. They all know about the attack in the house.

[David Spade]

So I got attacked.

[Kevin Nealon]

By the way. By the way, before you start this, I'm writing a list of things that people are telling about me. Stories to have at my eulogy and my memorial.

[David Spade]

Okay. This one makes you look bad, but it's fine. You got to mix it up. Mixed it up.

[Kevin Nealon]

So I, I, this was during a hike. On the hike we were on.

[David Spade]

Like I tell you the story. Yeah, I told it to you already on that.

[Kevin Nealon]

On that hike. Hiking with Kevin.

[David Spade]

Oh, really?

[Kevin Nealon]

Both have been on.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

But I love to tell it again.

[Dana Carvey]

I see that you with Kevin had

[David Spade]

different hikers since I thought it sort of. I was the grand finale, but nope, the one off.

[Dana Carvey]

There's still.

[David Spade]

You have some good guests on there. There. There's some interesting guests.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah. Tom Hanks did it recently. And Bryan Cranston. Yeah, Yeah, a lot of good guests.

[Dana Carvey]

Julian Lennon.

[Kevin Nealon]

Julian Lennon.

[David Spade]

Was it Julian?

[Kevin Nealon]

My favorite question asked Julian was, who's your favorite beetle? He looked at me for a long time. And my favorite question for Caitlyn Jenner was, caitlyn, if you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?

[David Spade]

I like, you're like, Theo, like, just the question. No matter what the answer, it's going to be clipped out because no matter what the answer, it's a funny setup.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

When Theo Asked Neil Degrassia. That guy goes, do you think space is gay? And he's like, well, Theo, I. I haven't got that question before, you know, it's like, so stupid.

[Dana Carvey]

I know they're serious. I haven't thought of.

[David Spade]

When he answers, yeah, it's all right. Just funny. Yeah. So the quick story is, I got a guy that I worked with came in, and I had a disagreement with him in my house. But the disagreement was, he was. When Joe Dirt was printed out, he worked with me. So when someone works you there, he's printing out the scripts to go out. But he read it, and so he goes, can I have dibs on this part? Now, he hadn't acted. He'd done a little comedy improv, and he wanted to get into comedy. But that awkward thing where you're like, okay, I want to help you. And I was new at having someone work with me. And he goes, it's not a big deal. It's like three pages or four pages, which is a big deal. It's not two lines.

[Dana Carvey]

Three, four pages.

[David Spade]

That's a lot. Yeah. And he didn't have any experience, but I said, if I can. I said, I will try, because I see him every second, every day. So how can I just go, no. Which I just should have. So here comes the movie. We're casting it. And then at the. Toward the end, it's still open because we're not actively trying to cast it, because I'm bananas for doing this, keeping it open, because we want every best person for the part. So Sandler calls up and says, hey, I think Kevin Nealon would be good. Oh, yeah, Hello. Would be good for the guy that works at the junkyard or whatever. Impound your car. And I go, oh, that'd be great. He said, can I tell him? I said, yeah, 100. So I tell the guy, hey, listen, it's not going to work out. He's like, what the. That's the first sign of trouble. He got really mad. I go, oh, well, listen. He goes, tell Sandler. No. I go, I'm. Listen, here's. He's producing the movie. He's the reason it got made. And Kevin Nealon's great. There's nothing wrong with this situation. Like, unfortunately, it didn't work out, but maybe the next one we can doggy or something.

[Dana Carvey]

But couldn't you find a little thing for him? Couldn't you.

[David Spade]

A shoehorn? Because in Tommy Boy, he had something. But I think it was just a reaction shot. He worked for Pete Siegel, the Director. That's how I met him. So anyway, that's already. Listen, the Red Flag store is running out of business at this point because we just. There's so many red flags. I just disregard. Then I'm in editing the night before it happens. Kevin does it. We're watching his part. He's like, that's the guy that me. And I'm like, that this is not a realistic thing.

[Dana Carvey]

Not a normal assistant language.

[David Spade]

And I'm like, I didn't know this.

[Kevin Nealon]

I didn't notice until years later when you finally told me.

[David Spade]

I know.

[Dana Carvey]

So I didn't know.

[David Spade]

I know. I shield you guys. I shield you from the world. So anyway, that night is when it happened. But it was just a normal situation where he should have said, hey, you know, Kevin's great, and Kevin was great. And so all in all, it's not all Kevin's fault, but it's like 99%. That's all.

[Kevin Nealon]

I don't know why you promised him the role, man. You should never promise the problem.

[David Spade]

I didn't promise. I said, listen, these things are tricky. You never know. That's a kind of.

[Kevin Nealon]

That's a. That's a promise in Hollywood.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it is.

[David Spade]

It is. It is.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

That's every day. Like, so it's still open. So you're not reading people for that. I'm like, I don't. I'm already in the weeds. I got bigger fish to fry. And finally I'm like, oh, it might shake out another promise. And then I'm like, egging it on, going, I know Kevin Nealon. I don't know why he's. He did this on purpose to you. Why aren't you going?

[Dana Carvey]

Sharp elbows. Kevin wanted it. What are I gonna do to him? He's gonna beat me up with his baby.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Why didn't he go after Kevin? I got some questions from the crowd.

[Kevin Nealon]

But you're kind of. You're kind of like, you know, missing the lead part of the story is how violent he reacted to that.

[Dana Carvey]

To you.

[David Koechner]

Yes.

[David Spade]

Yes, I should. When the. It built up that. Because the first sign is when he says, tell Adam what the. Tell him no. Call him right now. Tell him no. That it's not his movie. I go, it is. Who would say that? I go, Adam can ask anything, but he's really hands off. He's saying, this is your movie. You. You and Fred wrote it. Do your best with it. If you need help, tell me. But we have.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, you and Fred wrote it. Okay.

[David Spade]

Freddie Wolf.

[Dana Carvey]

Hey. Hey, David. You're funny. You're good, too.

[David Spade]

David, can we get. Can Kevin not do it and Skippy can do it? Because I'm sort of managing Skippy right now.

[Dana Carvey]

That was really good. Not really good. You're good.

[David Spade]

Kevin, I'm going to talk about you one second. I just want to tell Dana one thing. Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

He's also. The. Fred Wolf is also the disclaimer guy. You know, I didn't ask you because. And it's nothing about you and, you know, but I think that, you know, maybe somebody. And again, you know, you are my favorite person, but I don't think that you would be maybe right for this role. And you write for a lot of roles. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're right for a lot of roles.

[David Spade]

You'd be good in anything you did. But. Yeah, it's just this one right now.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, we could have used him with that. You're. You're a guy. Bring in Fred Wolf. You know, you're great. We're gonna. I already have so many good ideas for you in the next film. You know, kind of.

[David Spade]

Kind of. I think what I said while I was getting the. Kicked out of me by that night, I was like, blame Fred. He didn't want you.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, acting like a canary and the broad strokes. If you've ever, you know, had someone in your life and then you realize that they were quietly, secretly harboring a lot of grudges. Yeah. You know, and it's stored up drudgery, you know, later on. Whoa. I had no idea. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Yeah. It was a little anger and it was. It was starting to point towards me. But whatever, we got through it.

[Dana Carvey]

Whatever.

[Kevin Nealon]

Anyway, you guys. Would guys want to. Would you want to know who has a grudge against you or would you rather not know?

[David Spade]

I don't think so. You do want to know, Heather. Oh, that's reminds us of this great Keanu Reeves Reeves movie called the Outcome.

[Dana Carvey]

The David is.

[David Spade]

He is being blackmailed with a videotape. And he's a big star in the movie Kevin. And his movie's about to come out and this will ruin it. So is Jonah Hill, manager, lawyer says, hey, go back and apologize to everyone you were mean to on the way up. And this might just go away. People are just mad at you. And he's like, oh, so he has to go back. He's like, who's mad at me? Because he's delusional because he's such a big star. And they're like, oh, we have a list of about 45 people. So he goes back to his child star manager, played by Scorsese, who lives in a bowling alley, and he has to apologize to him.

[Dana Carvey]

Scorsese was good at entertaining. He was good, wasn't he? He was good.

[David Spade]

He goes like this again. I was like, hey, I just wanted to say I'm just really sorry. And he goes, thanks, Reef. Sorry for what? He goes, they didn't coach him that far. So he's like, I don't know. And then he explains to him why he should be sorry for what he did. And then he goes to his ex girlfriend, then his mom and then it just. It's really like kind of a. That's the dramedy part. Because it gets. It gets pretty heavy. But yeah. And answered your question. I don't know if I would want to know everyone. I would. Here's what I would like to know. What level of fan are people that come up to me? Because people, sometimes they go, I'm a big fan. They don't know one thing I've ever done. So they're like a 1 out of 100. But then there's people that you can tell are really like you. But some people just go, oh, hey. And I. They get a picture and they walk away and they're like, I hate that guy. Because. But they just know. They just seen you somewhere. They don't know why. Some people go, I'm taking a picture because they did. I'll find out later what you do.

[Kevin Nealon]

The other thing is I. I dread, like when I was starting out, I have to use the public rest, you know, the restroom that the rest of the audience used. And I mean, the stall. And after my show and I hear people coming in and go, wow, the opener was so much better than a headliner, man.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know.

[Kevin Nealon]

This is a waste of money. And, you know, I don't want to know. I don't want to hide under the bed and hear somebody, you know, talk about me. I went, I did a hike with Lin Manuel. Manuel Miranda, you know, who wrote Hamilton.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

And I was using one of those, you know, mics that you hook to your collar or whatever.

[Dana Carvey]

Lavalier.

[Kevin Nealon]

First time? Yeah, first time I was using it and we finished the hike and I forgot to take his off and I had to chase him down. Like a half hour later I called his manager and he goes, oh, yeah, okay. He's on the Corner, you know, 92nd. And you know, whatever it was. And so I'm walking. It took me like a half hour to get to him. And I know that everything he said is on that recorder for that half hour. And I never listened to it because I didn't want to know who we listen to what he said. Sure. It's out there now.

[David Spade]

I've heard some clips from it. It's not great, dude.

[Kevin Nealon]

It's not great. It's not great. Yeah.

[David Spade]

It's next to my UFO tapes that never got released. I'm like, release the neon tapes.

[Kevin Nealon]

No. Let me tell you something about UFOs. You know, it's been all of this stuff about the releasing, you know, UFO

[Dana Carvey]

stuff from the government.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

It doesn't. Nothing matters to me now with AI, it's like, that's not real. That's not real.

[David Spade]

Even if I see it, I think it's AI.

[Dana Carvey]

That's true.

[David Spade]

In the air.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if you're in the thing, you're being kidnapped now. This is AI.

[David Spade]

I go proved it to me. And then they anally massage me or whatever they do.

[Dana Carvey]

How would you know about that, David? Why are you saying that?

[David Spade]

Have you seen the doctor when he's with the girl and she goes, I'm having a little soreness on my anus around the entrance. And he goes, oh, well, that's actually an exit. So the quicker you change the traffic, the quicker the skin will go away.

[Kevin Nealon]

That's horrible.

[David Spade]

That's great.

[Kevin Nealon]

That's horrible.

[David Spade]

Welcome to TikTok. What kind of it's not squeamish.

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[Dana Carvey]

Can I tell you my hiking story? That was out of character for me. So I'm hiking, I'm hiking, hiking and then I see like eight people kind and they're going to take a picture and I normally don't do this, but I go, I'll take it, you know, yeah, we want video. So it was eight of them and they start, they sang Happy Birthday till Sylvester. Happy birthday, big thing. Oh, looks great. And I don't know why, I was just, I guess I was kind of on a buzz from hiking so hard. And I just did Stallone to them. Thank you very much for saying Happy birthday to me. And then I just walked away and they yelled down the trail and they said, hey, wait a minute, are you that guy? That was it. They didn't have a name, didn't have anything.

[David Spade]

Yeah, that's good.

[Dana Carvey]

Isn't that a great story?

[Kevin Nealon]

Here's, here's a, here's a fun story if you want to hear that. Going along those lines. I would go down to Austin every year and this, by the way, this, you call them DJ still. This guy, he's like the Howard Stern. He's like the Howard Stern of Austin. And he and I do a show like every year. You know, for like, years I've been doing it. And we usually go out for lunch after that. So we. The last time I was there, it's like four years ago when I did a show. We do the show and then we go out to lunch, and we're sitting there for like, half hour, and he goes, you know what I noticed about you? You're not getting recognized as much anymore.

[David Spade]

Oh, my God.

[Kevin Nealon]

And I thought, you know what? You're right. You're right.

[Dana Carvey]

He was.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah. Heads used to turn a lot, but now it's like people are looking at their menus. You know, I thought, you know, he's right. No matter. That's why I've been feeling so good lately.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I had someone say to me, they said, you know, I was at, like, this Grammy party, and my friend's wife goes, you know what? You were so goodness, why don't you get back out there? Get back and do stuff again, Talk. I'll knock you out.

[Dana Carvey]

I had a woman at airport get in front of me and goes, you're better than all the rest of them, and just walked away.

[David Spade]

That's a compliment.

[Dana Carvey]

I told my sister, leave me alone. But Kevin, that guy, was he being passive aggressive to point that out?

[David Spade]

That's weird.

[Dana Carvey]

Or was he just sort of naive and whimsical?

[Kevin Nealon]

I think it was naive.

[David Koechner]

And he was just.

[Kevin Nealon]

He might have been joking even, you know. But here's. Here's something. If you want to get brought down a lot is go on chat gbt and ask the question, are you handsome? Oh, is Dana Carvey handsome? And see what they say. My son did that. My son did that to me.

[David Spade]

Oh, no.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Koechner]

And it said you do?

[Kevin Nealon]

Well, you know, it depends on what you mean by handsome, you know?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I was at a resort. I was at a resort doing a. Doing a gig. And you had been there the year before. Some kind of gig, whatever. And the woman in the sports shack or whatever. Oh, yeah, Kevin, you know. Yeah. I'm a friend of his. He goes, I didn't realize how good looking he was.

[David Spade]

Oh, look at that. Look at that.

[Kevin Nealon]

I kind of have a guy. I had a guy at the airport once say to me, hey, you're a lot better looking on tv. But I think he meant the other way around, you know?

[David Spade]

No. In Scottsdale last week, I'm leaving Houston's. I love Houston's. And lady walks me, and she goes, you look like that guy in Grownups. You know, the guy, he's a little taller. Do you know who he is. I go, what? Try Sandler. And he goes. He goes, no, he plays the blonde guy in it. And I go, oh, yeah, I have heard that. And she goes, but he's a little taller than you. I go, a little. A lot. She goes, he's. He's kind of tall, but you sound like him. Never figured it out.

[Dana Carvey]

I had the same thing. I had a woman in the store. And she goes, you. You look just like Dana Carvey. I go, I know, it's weird. It's weird. And she just kept going. I mean, I can't even believe it. Me neither.

[David Spade]

But, yeah, you know, I know.

[Dana Carvey]

You never actually thought.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, I get Norm. I get Norm once in a while. Yeah. Because we both did SNL, I think, you know. Yeah, yeah. People love Norm MacDonald, you know, and the post Norm MacDonald. I mean, it's just. He really has become a legend.

[David Spade]

He got bigger. Yeah, for sure.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, definitely. I've seen stuff he's doing that I never saw before. That's hilarious.

[David Spade]

Exactly. I see, like, his talk show that's like a podcast with Adam Egat, and I'm like, oh, they have funny guests. They make the guests read a dirty joke. I'm like, the balls. But the fans that go on that are fans of Norm, that are famous, go along with it, and it's so funny.

[Dana Carvey]

There's one recently up that he's got. He's got Mike Tyson on his show, and he's clearly kind of agitating Mike Tyson in his own Norm way, you know, like, who's the best heavyweight champion, wherever he said. And there was a lot of tension there with Norm, and it makes him mesmerizing.

[David Spade]

Right? He goes on the View. They play him on Conan a lot, old talk shows.

[Kevin Nealon]

I. I took him. I took him to Palm Springs once for a golf clinic because we both like to golf, even though we both suck. So, you know, all the way out there, he's listening to Johnny Cash with his barefoot out the window because he doesn't drive, you know, Gotta drive him everywhere. He's always late. I can't find my shoes, you know, so we get out there and we're doing this golf clinic with these professionals, and they're videotaping us, our swings and everything. By the end of the golf clinic, we're looking at the swings, you know, the pro is showing us what we're doing wrong and all that. And he's arguing with the pro. Nah, that's what I'm doing. You know, that. No, this way is better for me. I said, Norm, this guy's a pro.

[Dana Carvey]

He knows that's funny. Yeah, the one on the View where he goes, yeah, Bill Clinton, he's great, except he killed a guy, you know, and Barbara Walters was like, we can't. What are you talking about? No, I'm just saying you kill the guy, right? I mean it's not good. It's not a good thing. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but your president. But yeah, the clips of, of Norm are hysterical on Conan too with the, the old fashioned story. This guy had a shoe, right, and he lost it in the trap and it goes on.

[David Spade]

Little Johnny goes school one day.

[Kevin Nealon]

This fella, this fella.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah. When he does knick knack Patty whack, he does that joke. But I like the beginning goes. He goes into a bank and the Woman's name is Mrs. Whack. So that's her name. This is why I'm like, well, this is going to be part of the joke at some point, I guess.

[Kevin Nealon]

Was he the one that did the joke about Hitler's dog? The dog liked him because he didn't know.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I did a lot of Hitler, you know. Did you guys ever do Hitler Hitler bits? Did you have a Hitler joke in your act ever?

[Kevin Nealon]

The closest I came to that is Hans and Franz.

[David Spade]

Yeah,

[Kevin Nealon]

no, I never did a Hitler joke.

[Dana Carvey]

I had one, but it.

[David Spade]

Go ahead, give us your best.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it was just the observation. Hitler's screaming every time we see him.

[David Spade]

Oh yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And I said, I do this for a living. And I mean you backstage, he had to be just wiped out. Just almost feminine like, oh, oh yeah, I can't feel my deltoid. Whoever thought of this, shoot him. I can't take it.

[David Spade]

You can't do two shows a night either. It's too hard.

[Dana Carvey]

But yeah, it's hard to come up with that original Hitler joke.

[David Spade]

Kevin, I have one of my follow up mine, One of my final questions. Do you do two shows a night?

[David Koechner]

Yes.

[David Spade]

Except on Sunday clubs.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, yeah, I do two shows. And arenas. I do two shows in arenas as well.

[David Spade]

And how long do you do a set if you're doing two shows? You do 45.

[Kevin Nealon]

I do about an hour and 10 minutes.

[Dana Carvey]

You do both times?

[David Spade]

Twice?

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, wow. Yeah, I do. In fact, I'm getting to that point here's. I started with an mc, you know, as you always do. It's a three man act or three woman act or whatever. And, and so I thought, I don't really need an emcee because one time The MC said, this man needs no introduction. I thought, you know, this guy's right. We don't need him on the show.

[Dana Carvey]

So sorry.

[Kevin Nealon]

So anyway, I thought I'll just do a two man show from now on. So I did a two man show and I'm thinking I don't really need another person because I know Bill Maher used to do that. He would just come out and do his set and, you know, it makes kind of sense.

[David Spade]

What is it?

[Dana Carvey]

No opener. No opener?

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, no opener. And I don't even have an introduction. I just have them play the music for a little bit and then I just walk out. It's real jazzy the way I do that.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you dance around a little bit or something? What are you doing?

[Kevin Nealon]

Oh, no. I come out and I receive the applause. I accept it.

[David Spade]

I, you know, I think washed over you.

[Kevin Nealon]

I let it settle in and then I take the mic out and they stop the music and all systems go

[Dana Carvey]

into the microphone. So. Hey.

[David Spade]

Yeah, he uses a banjo. I saw in the latest clips. What's going on?

[Kevin Nealon]

Oh, that was a bit that was I cut from my special, which is called loosen the crotch.

[Dana Carvey]

Was that, Was that the banjo that I got you for your 50s?

[Kevin Nealon]

No, no, no. But you and you and Gary Prince, a guy that we knew who since gave me a great Gibson banjo for my guitar. I think it was 60 at the time or 50.

[David Spade]

Prescription fitness, whatever.

[Kevin Nealon]

That's right.

[David Koechner]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

So that I was just gonna say. So the banjo part was. When I grew up, nobody liked the banjo. It was very annoying. So I had to play it very quietly my room with like a sock tied around the neck. But now I like to go. I play it everywhere now and I just let loose on and I have so much fun. Would you like to hear a song?

[Dana Carvey]

Sure.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have them bring the banjo out to me and I sit down.

[David Koechner]

I.

[Kevin Nealon]

Playing very softly. They can't even hear it. Barely. My foot stomping is louder than the banjo itself.

[Dana Carvey]

And then they. And then they take the banjo away. Or do you actually show them that you can. No, no, they want to see.

[Kevin Nealon]

I do the whole song. I get everybody going like that. I get the clapping going and. And I tell them to keep it quiet.

[Dana Carvey]

I go, break it down, break it down. Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

And then at the end I. My roadies come out and they take the banjo from me. I just hold it up and they take it and. And I go back to the mic. But I cut that out.

[David Spade]

Do you and Dana both have to. If you, let's say you're doing Ohio in three days. Columbus. Do you call and say, have a banjo or a guitar there?

[Kevin Nealon]

You know what? You could do that. Most people like their own instruments. But I'll tell you what. I, I, I, I like a green room that's comfortable. You know, the green room. I like something in there that's comfortable. A lot of those green rooms have those big white fluorescent lights on the ceiling with no lamps or anything, or floor lamps. So I just added this to my writer that they got to have a floor lamp with a dimmer. Because I like to kind of chill before I go on, you know, a little meditation or whatever. Just kind of snooze and, you know, you can get a cheap, cheap floor lamp from Target, probably for, you know, $42.

[Dana Carvey]

They say, we're going to have to

[David Spade]

take away your Triscuits. You want. So it's a. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Could I tell you a tactic to get a standing ovation? So what I do, I used to say, get me a guitar that can be plugged in electrified, but now I say a tailor because they don't go out of tune. But at the end of your act, you're doing your guitar, your banjo, bop, bomb, bomb. And you're doing a song about them. Wow, wow, wow. Bam. And then I take the neck of the guitar and I hold it up. So I'm like, It's like a torch. I'm like. But I see people as I bring the guitar up, they tend to stand up with it. So you could just at the end go, the banjo and go, good night. And then just hold it up and you'll get a standing ovation every time. I'm not kidding.

[Kevin Nealon]

I don't like a standing ovation. It feels very uncomfortable for me, you know, to be adored that much.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

And I just don't like to stay out there. It's just like with the good nights on snl. I hated going up there waving, scared by and, and people would be jockeying to get to the front, you know, to stand next to the host. And I'm like, in the back. Lauren had to have Marcy Klein come running after finding says, Lauren wants you on the stage.

[Dana Carvey]

And I'm like, laura wants you on the stage. But people don't realize there's a dress show. And we, we do the good nights of fake good nights two hours before. And then we got to do it again. Like, oh, hugging. Oh, I can't believe it.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Marcy. It was a lie. Marc used to come in mind get out there. Lauren wants him. Like, there's no way Lauren was out there. Somehow figured out I wasn't there yet. And Marcy getting spayed.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And I believed it every time, like Lauren ran out there.

[Kevin Nealon]

I mean, it's same with the Weekend Update. You know, you do all those jokes in the dress and then you kind of. It's an act. And then you do in the live show and you laugh in the same places. Like that's the first time you've heard it, you know. But it is an act.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, that's. It is a show business.

[David Spade]

What else do you have for Kevin? And we're going to talk. We're going to plug the special, loosen the crotch.

[Kevin Nealon]

I got the Hiking with Hiking with Kevin on YouTube, which both of you guys have done numerous times.

[David Spade]

We were great.

[Dana Carvey]

Hiking with Kevin Space.

[Kevin Nealon]

Gonna do it again sometime when he.

[David Spade]

I want to go slightly downhill. Not even flat anymore.

[Kevin Nealon]

I swear to God, I'll have a car waiting at the bottom.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, just go. I would do it. And what? We get one of those wagon, like a little kid's wagon, and we spade sits in the wagon and we pull him up the hill. It's three of us doing it. We pull you up.

[Kevin Nealon]

I like that. I like that. So that's on YouTube. And then I have my special called Loosen the Crotch that's also on YouTube.

[David Spade]

Great.

[Kevin Nealon]

And. And I have Mermaid the movie coming out.

[Dana Carvey]

When is that coming out?

[Kevin Nealon]

When's that's out on the. I believe it's the 27th of May, I believe. I'm not sure when this will air. And then also I didn't mention this, but my wife and I, along with other people are executive producers on a documentary that was nominated for an Oscar.

[Dana Carvey]

That's right.

[Kevin Nealon]

We went to the Oscars this year for the first time. It didn't win, but it's on Apple TV right now. It's called Come See Me in the Good Light.

[Dana Carvey]

It's really good.

[Kevin Nealon]

A good watch.

[Dana Carvey]

Apple tv. So you're a producer? Writer, Director, executive producer, executive producer, stand up comedian. Oh, art. What about your art?

[Kevin Nealon]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm a painter. I like to paint celebrity caricatures. I have a website. I have the book out, you know that I gave it to both of you. It's called I Exaggerate my Brushes with Fame.

[David Spade]

Right.

[Kevin Nealon]

And there's pictures of everybody in there. On the opposite page, there's an anecdote about that person, whether it's Farley or you or whomever. And people are asking me, they said, where can we buy one of these paintings? I never had a place, so I created a site on Shopify. Kevin Nealon Art.

[Dana Carvey]

So you order it and then they make a painting to send to the person.

[David Spade]

Look at colonel standards. Yeah, yeah, listen, she's Louise.

[Dana Carvey]

Fantastic. I love everything.

[Kevin Nealon]

That's what I got going.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

God dang.

[Kevin Nealon]

I got, you know, I got like maybe four or five movies in the can that I've done, but they're independent movies and so you. I kind of forget. I don't know if they're ever going to see the light of day. I gotta tell you something. Two, maybe two years ago, I did one. And, you know, all this time goes by and I'm watching TV and I see this trailer come on, and it's a real scary movie, you know, And I'm watching it going, oh, my God, I gotta see this. What's this all about? And then they cut to the next scene and of course I'm in it. I'm in the movie.

[Dana Carvey]

And you forgot.

[David Spade]

You did.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, I. I was just forgot about the whole thing. I mean, I remembered I did it, but I didn't, you know, remember that it was going to go anywhere or know that. Yeah.

[David Spade]

All right, well, thank you, Kevin. I will see you soon. Don't hang up right away.

[Dana Carvey]

Don't hang up.

[David Spade]

Kevin takes a minute to download and I understand that. Thank you very much.

[Dana Carvey]

Kevin Nealon has been our guest.

[David Spade]

Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, Give us review 5 star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

[Dana Carvey]

If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

[David Spade]

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese, Dennis of Odyssey.

[Dana Carvey]

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet.

[David Spade]

Tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

[Dana Carvey]

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney and Lauren Vieira.

[David Spade]

Reach out with us. Any questions be asked and answered on the show? You can email [e-mail] that's a U-A C-Y dot com.