RE-RELEASE - Rob Schneider Pt 2

Summary

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Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: RE-RELEASE - Rob Schneider Pt. 2
Date: July 29, 2026
Guest: Rob Schneider
Theme: Behind-the-scenes stories from SNL, comedic life lessons, and creative collaborations

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Episode Overview

This episode is the rare second part of Rob Schneider’s visit with Dana Carvey and David Spade, a testament to the depth of stories and chemistry between these longtime pals and SNL alumni. They dive deep into the high-wire world of Saturday Night Live, the inside mechanics of classic sketches, lessons and hardships of making it in the comedy world, and the craft of both sketch and stand-up comedy. Anecdotes abound—about Adam Sandler, Kirstie Alley, Jay Leno, Robin Williams, and more—in a freewheeling, affectionate, and hilarious conversation full of advice and comedy wisdom.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. SNL Life and Sketch Creation

• Social IQ at SNL:
  Rob and Dana reflect on how social intelligence is as important as comic talent for being picked at SNL.
  • “Lauren… wants to hire people he can go to dinner with… part of the reason you’re there, besides your comedy chops, is social skills.” —David (03:34)
• Il Cantore/Italian Waiters Sketch:
  Rob narrates the inspiration—from visiting Little Italy with Adam Sandler and being overwhelmed by overtly affectionate Italian waiters.
  • Legendary behind-the-scenes about Adam prepping for the sketch (shaving his pubes) and Dana committing to the physical comedy.
• Live Show Energy:
  The group recalls the chaos and ecstasy of sketches that “murdered”—like Farley humping the window, and Dana’s “ass hanging out” played deadpan to a roaring audience.
  • “You came out so centaurial and so straight… your ass is hanging out, you’re bare, acting so regular.” —Spade (12:37)
  • “The audience is roaring because the visual of it…” —Spade (13:08)
• Copy Machine Guy (‘Making Copies’):
  Rob details the origin and meteoric rise of the sketch, its unique rhythm, and how he channeled a gentle, annoying office guy—ultimately turning into one of SNL’s rare breakout recurring bits.
  • “To me, the real democracy in show business is the SNL readthrough.” —Rob (27:58)
  • “Jim Downey took me aside and said, ‘We have a very, very rare thing here—a character that people love.’” (29:47)

2. Comedy Life Wisdom & Lessons Learned

• Becoming Undeniable:
  Dana directly influenced Rob’s outlook—teaching him to refine his hunger for success.
  • “You don’t have to let people know how hungry you are…get so good they can’t deny you.” —Dana, recalled by Rob (16:01)
  • “Look at your own feet, stay in your lane, and just become undeniable.” —Dana (16:27)
• Handling Setbacks and Nerves:
  Rob and David reminisce about nerve-racking SNL auditions and getting “annihilated,” but learning to be “shaken but not broken”—the essential resilience for live TV.
  • “You cannot let this get to you…let it affect me here, but not all the way to my feet.” —Rob (19:45)
• Club and Audition Drama:
  The path from open mics to headlining is littered with ego and setbacks:
  • “A lot of drama…a lot of dysfunctional comics…I should be headliner…just look at your own feet, stay in your lane…” —Dana (16:27)

3. Collaborative Comedy and ‘The Sandler Gang’

• Writing for Each Other:
  Stories abound about “sharing the wealth” of sketches and helping each other find their voices and opportunities—sometimes giving great material to others, other times finally breaking through for themselves.

  • “When you could perform something better than other people, then we’ll get it on.” —Downey, as recalled by Rob (21:41)

• Inside Classic Bits:

  • Massive Head Wound Harry: Rob and Adam co-wrote, and the story of getting a dog to go after Dana’s prosthetic, leading to unscripted chaos and comedy gold.
  • On “You can do it!” catchphrase in Sandler’s films: it started as a one-line joke, then took on a life of its own.
    • “It was Hurley, he… who came up with it…come out, we’ll figure it out…It’s a rhythm thing.” —Rob (43:20)

4. Stagecraft: The Mechanics of Physical Comedy

• Going Beyond Dialogue:
  Both Rob and Dana discuss the importance of being funny with the “sound off”—communicating comedy physically so it transcends language and cultural barriers.
  • “Smash funny with the sound turned off.” —Rob (50:09)
  • “That’s I Love Lucy, that’s the great.” —Spade (50:31)
• Real Sketch Wisdom:
  Trusting in rhythm, vulnerability, and giving the audience something memorable and inexplicable.
  • “Inexplicable jokes like ‘chopping broccoli’ or ‘you can do it!’ just go on for decades.” —Dana (43:54)

5. Comedy Roots & San Francisco Scene

• Remembering the Old Scene:
  The hosts and Rob reminisce about the legendary San Francisco comedy circuit, a scene energized by Robin Williams, with shoutouts to local legends and the realities of needing to move to LA to make it big.
  • “There was, at one point, a comedy scene on one street, on one block, there were three places to do stand up.” —Rob (39:26)

6. In the Director’s Chair & Acting Lessons

• Learning Film/TV Craft:
  Detailed talk about working with directors, fighting for comedic rhythm, and the virtues of the “cowboy shot” for stand-up.
  • “Let the audience decide where they want to look… two shots are great, let the audience decide…” —Rob (55:32)
  • “You never hear people say, ‘I gotta go see that movie, I hear the camera moves are excellent.’” —Rob (56:36)

7. Final Thoughts & Influence

• The episode ends with love and respect for Rob’s unique cultural influence, going from SNL to movies, to stand-up—and his knack for finding the essence of comic moments across all forms.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sketch Writing Hustle:
  “When you’re writing that first or even second year, putting your stuff in smaller parts…they go, give that to Dana, give it to Mike Myers…So the one way in is Update, ‘cause you’re by yourself.” —David (25:31)
• On Physical Comedy’s Power:
  “When you can be funny with the sound off, you can laugh harder…You’re not waiting for a punchline.” —Rob (51:53)
• On SNL’s Legacy:
  “Being four feet away from you…looking at each other with that slight little grin…It’s just murdering.” —Rob (12:28)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:34: The importance of social skills at SNL, and what Lorne Michaels looks for
• 04:11–13:31: The Il Cantore/Italian Waiters sketch—origins, performance chaos, and aftermath
• 16:01: Dana’s advice: “Get so good they can’t deny you.”
• 19:45: Resilience in SNL auditions—“shaken but not broken.”
• 21:41–25:10: The rise and engineering of Copy Machine Guy / “Making Copies”
• 27:58: On read-through being the “real democracy” of SNL
• 29:47: The rareness of breakout recurring characters at SNL
• 32:13–36:26: Jay Leno, Robin Williams, stand-up mentorship, celebrity impressions, and circuit stories
• 43:20–44:51: Genesis and lasting power of “You can do it!”
• 50:09–51:43: The comedy of physicality—“smash funny with the sound turned off”
• 55:32–56:36: On directorial choices and letting comedy breathe on film

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Tone & Style

The episode is breezy, affectionate, and studded with dry asides, mutual ribbing, and bursts of raucous laughter. The hosts and Rob bounce between sincerity, nostalgia, and hilarity, never straying far from the heart of what makes comedy work—friendship, risk-taking, and deep craft.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

is someone we got a lot of good feedback from and a great interview. He came into the studio, which is rare and highly irregular is what you're gonna say.

[B]

It's highly irregular that we got so much good stuff. Somebody somewhere said let's split it in two. Should it be a two parter?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So I think he was our first organic two parter.

[A]

Yeah, the dude can yap.

[B]

We went on, but there was a lot to go over. There's a lot about him doing tiny Elvis and in Japan and stuff like that. And then it went into all these other things. So it's really fun. He's, he's, he's, he's a pro. He knows what he's doing. He's a great guest really, really great storyteller.

[A]

Here's part two. Rob Schneider. Oh, I was saying that when Rob and I were there for the four shows, I think what we don't realize, even though we didn't get a sketch on in quotes, but being at the rewrite table and being around the office, you can just tell if you're in the game that long. Like they were. Yeah. Just by saying we're pitching throwaway jokes in sketches on rewrites. I think just hearing someone talk at lunch or dinner or hearing pitches, by the end, you can go, they've got game or not. Like, they can tell, like, just from what I heard the little bits, we're on the right track with these guys. Cause I'm sure they went to Downey. Lauren said, what do you think? Do you want these two clowns back? And then, you know, smile or Frank and Chirp jam.

[B]

I'll tell you something that's important as well. And that, and especially Lauren, like, he wants to hire people he can go to dinner with. He wants to hire people that really have a high social IQ in the room. And you too, qualify for that. As far as integrating in with everybody, you guys had a lot of charm and you wouldn't over talk, you'd insert, you know, and so that part of the reason you're there, besides your great comedy chops, was just social skills. And Lauren really picks up on that, you know, you get along well. And I just want to say I'm going to tear up. But Rob, who wrote Il Cantore, because that was one of my favorite moments I ever did on the show.

[C]

And I did not tell you that was influenced by an experience that Adam and I had where we. First of all, I went over to. I mean, it's a weird thing about, like, money. How I equate success, you know, is something like my parents, when they spent money on a couch, they bought a new couch and they immediately covered it in this quality, high, thick polyurethane plastic. And they wouldn't let. When they still wouldn't let us sit on it because it was a really nice.

[B]

Yeah, I got you.

[C]

So that was like, we have money for a couch now don't fuck it up. This is our kennel. Shit on it.

[B]

Sit on it. Don't even look at it.

[C]

Use it for guests. And when the guests come over, and if they're special guests, we'll unzip the plastic. So I've always. So that's the way I equate, like, you know, you know, fame and success as A couch. So I went over to Adam Sandwell.

[B]

How do you connect that?

[A]

Unzipping the plug in.

[C]

Unzipping. So I went over unzipped. Brand new couch at Adam's. I said, he must be making money. This is a new couch. It was like a little couch in a sense. And then so we started, you know, by the second season we're making a little bit of money. So then we take. We had girlfriends too, which is another sign of success. One of the reasons, well, let's be honest, we really got into. Wanted to get in the show business because like, you know, when I played trombone and the marching band and in high school I said, this is not. Can I get drawn to be a supermodel? This is not going to anywhere close. Said, what is it going to do? What can I do better than this? So we'll stand up for a second

[B]

for the Lonely Hearts club that I was part of. Once you are forced to act confident, stand on a platform and dominate a room, even if you're just pretending your stock goes up with young girls. So it is Xanadu. It is.

[C]

I like the certain comedians like Norm MacDonald, like, you know. Yeah, you got about 45 minutes to close the deal when you're done. Because you know, the women, the power depreciates after you're on stage. It's like, Jesus, this guy's like a scientist about getting laid after getting on stage. Wow.

[B]

The power room is at the other cafe where there. This girl that you couldn't even talk to in high school is flirting with you. And then they're announcing your name. I gotta go, you know. But anyways, go back to your story. Sorry about that.

[C]

So anyways, I'm at Adam Sandler's place, he's got a new couch. And they go, well, we have, we've changed. And then we have girlfriend, good looking girlfriends. And all of a sudden, so we go, so we go to a place that we wouldn't have gone the first season because I remember like he lived, he had, his dad knew somebody who had like. So he had like a couple of months for the first time. First season at snl. Just in case, you know, wasn't work out above this restaurant on Madison Avenue. And it was a little apartment that he got for like the, you know, for a few months. And I remember the place was so expensive downstairs. It was like the turkey sandwich was $17. And he said, what the fuck? I said, we'll split it. I said, you and I will split a turkey sandwich. And then we'll just eat downstairs. And it's one of those fancy places, so you kind of. It's cool to hang out there. So by the time we started making a little bit of money the second season, we take the girlfriends, we go to Little Italy. Let's show off a little bit. And these Italian guys are kissing the girls.

[A]

There we go. El Canton,

[C]

they're kissing your girlfriend.

[B]

They're kissing our girlfriend in front of you.

[C]

Yeah. Yes. They're kissing. Kissing up and down. And, you know, and the hug also seemed like, you know, the hug was also very, you know, familiar.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

It was like, ah. And they just met them and we go like, well, you know, we're happy to be here, but it was a little odd, but. Yeah, but that sunk in something really to Adam's psyche about that. And I remember he went off and I had a great office on the 17th floor that actually, you could see the Empire State Building. It's like, this is ridiculous. This is like, this is incredible. How did I get this?

[B]

It's all incredible.

[C]

It's amazing. So. And then. And just being on the 17th floor and go like, who did Ackroyd have this? I was always, you know, the history of the show. And then so Adam came in with Robert Smigel, and they can't talk, and they're literally like, it's 2:00', clock, 2:30 in the morning. Just when he's good, it's gotta be him and Smiggle, that's when the good stuff starts to come because the structural side of your brain gets really, really tired and the goofy side takes over. And these guys are coming in and they're literally giggling and just falling out. And they just literally hand me this piece of paper. And it was typed at that time. So they got it typed and you handed it. And they're watching me and I'm reading the sketch Bellissima over there, the kissing. And they watch. They watch me just to make sure that they weren't just being goofy. Then they watched me and I reading it and I fell on the floor rolling, laughing. And they said, we got something here.

[A]

God damn.

[C]

And then Adam and I, you know, we know that Dana was going to murder. Yeah.

[A]

You have to bring in the big guy. Yeah.

[C]

Dana would have another level of commitment, which is like, there was a level of commitment. You expect this. And then d. It would. Would just, you know, just would go off.

[B]

It was pennies from heaven for me

[C]

because you have to write a lot

[B]

of stuff, but when you get something handed to you, that's a crusher. It's physically funny and in every other

[C]

way funny for people. It's one of the most famous sketches in our era there where they. The Italian waiters are kissing. And then, you know, you being one of the Italian waiters, you come by and you lick Kirsty Alley's face. She was a gamer. She's what I call a Broadway.

[B]

She was great. I licked the shit out of her face. I said, are you okay with this? She goes, oh, yeah. So I was like making a million.

[A]

She was in a crusher.

[B]

He's very cool.

[C]

And then Adam is like, you know, we shared a dressing room for years and he said. And he looked at me. He's a, you know, bit of a hairy guy. And he's. He's got one of those hockey legs, you know, like the northeasterner kind of guy. Hockey ass. You know, he should be playing. And he's actually a pretty good skater. Yeah, yeah. You know, he's actually like, we. During, like the second season, I remember we're walking to go to get something to eat, and it was. It was snow on the street, and he would like, run out and during a stop, when there was a stoplight, and he'd get behind a cab and sneak behind a cab, and he'd let the cab pull him and have his

[B]

shoes on the ice.

[C]

Just his tennis shoes on the ice. Oh, yeah. And then he would like. And then he.

[B]

Bob's truth.

[C]

But he wouldn't. He would handle it and just. Good skater, good guy. And I went like, shit, yeah. And I said, dude, you're famous. You're gonna get, you know, you're gonna get smashed.

[A]

He didn't need anything extra going on. He already had everything going on.

[C]

Ye.

[B]

And then he also can do that.

[C]

And then he asked me, he said, should I. Should I shave my pubes? And I went, absolutely. And I just knew it was gonna grow back and he was gonna be in agony for a couple of weeks, and I was gonna enjoy that. And so he's preparing. He's got this, like, diaper on before, and he just blew.

[A]

Oh, shave the pubes for the bit.

[C]

Yeah. So he's there before we're in the dressing room, and he said, should I shave my pubes for the Italian waiter's bit? Cause he comes out in a diaper basically with his ass hanging out. And I said, absolutely, Adam, shave the shit out of that. And then he did. And then. And I came out and I was ass naked. And that was when the censor, who was the time in our era, Andrew Brewer. Andrew Brewer said, please don't show your ass. Please, please, I beg you. I'll get fired. Please, please, please, please. I beg you. Beg you. Because they were laughing so hard, especially when you were humping Victoria Jackson.

[B]

I want to ask from your point of view about that, because how did we get to that where I go as the waiter, I lick Kirsty's face. I do. I go back and somehow Victoria and I are having some debate or something. Then I Down on the table. Did I do that in the dress show?

[C]

No, I didn't. You didn't?

[B]

Okay, you.

[C]

What happened was, like, a lot of times you take something, oh, this is funny. Let's do it more and more.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And by the. By the. By the dress rehearsal, it was screamingly funny. And then it was another level. And then Farley also was, like. Was humping the window at the end.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it was a thing. And then it was one of the. One of the few sketches. And the biggest tag of any sketch I was ever involved in was, usually you don't have a good ending for somebody. But Kevin Nealon, who was the date of Kirstie Alley, said, let's go to a. Hey, this is too much. Let's go to the. This is a Greek restaurant down the street, which is like, oh, my God. It was a screaming laugh at the end. I remember being four feet away from you, four feet away from Adam, and we're looking at each other with that slight little grin. Because I never liked being one of those guys who ever broke. I never broke. I just didn't respect it. It wasn't part of the tradition of the snl, and I know that they did after we left, after my years there.

[A]

You're not allowed not to lie.

[C]

But I looked at him and there was a look on our face like we couldn't hear each other do our lines.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But we knew it so well that we, like. It's just murdering. Like, especially when I came out. It was a scream when I came out, because I showed my. Came out.

[A]

You come out naked.

[C]

I came out.

[B]

You came out so centaurial and so straight and so no sense. Your ass is hanging out. You're just. You're bare and you're just acting so regular.

[C]

Yes. That. That was something that the audience had never seen at all.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is so good to not comment on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And just commit to the stuff, you know, which was what you need to do. But there's a little bit of. You're enjoying it.

[B]

Also, it's always behind the eyes when I had Victoria's legs in the air. And I'm having a kind of an argument with you guys. What about that?

[A]

What are you doing?

[B]

And that's going. I can't really even hear myself. The audience is roaring because the visual of it. Victoria, of course, was such a gamer. Oh, yeah. And that was a perfect part for her. So you guys wrote and produced a perfect sketch, basically.

[C]

That was the best one. I mean, there were some. Some that were.

[B]

Some just stand out.

[C]

Some just like. Well, that was. There's just. There are things that are. You can't deny.

[A]

Hmm.

[B]

Summer. What do you think about Summer coming up?

[A]

Sneaks up on me. Yeah, I know it is coming up. I'm trying to juggle plans, juggle meals and enjoy the weather. Instacart's made that easier. I can sit outside, build my car with everything I need for the week, not have to step away from what I'm doing.

[B]

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[A]

You know, when I'm busy or just don't feel like making a store run, I can order in the morning and have everything ready for the same day. And sometimes in as fast as 30 minutes. It just fits into my schedule instead of the other way around. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

What did I say?

[C]

You said, you don't have to let people know how hungry you are. That was informative. Because it's like, I want this fucking thing so bad. Look at these. It's like, calm down. And then you said, get so good they can't deny you.

[B]

I remember that.

[C]

You still may not get the job. Yeah, but get so good they can't deny it. And then they go, well, yeah, well, that guy's amazing. That guy's great. But we gotta hire the more famous guy. And that keeps you going for years

[B]

because of club drama. When you're starting out in clubs, a lot of drama. And you can get into the drama with the dysfunctional comics. I should be a headliner. I don't know why I got that. And just look at your own feet. Stay in your lane and just become undeniable.

[C]

But who takes you aside and gives you that kind of information?

[A]

Yeah, it's nice.

[C]

Witness to it. Like, I said, well, this. And he said, when I. We had a great drive down to LA one time, stayed at your apartment, and I was like, this is beautiful. This is going to be my future. I'll move down here. This is going to be amazing.

[B]

Guys going to la.

[C]

I love it. And they say. And he's like, no, this. And then like. And I remember it's like you were on that TV show where they, like, clearly the most, you know, I said, this is the most talented guy I know. And they don't know how to use him. And they let you have five minutes to do whatever you wanted at the end of that TV series, which. Where you played a helicopter pilot. Oh, that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I was like, blue thunder, blue thunder.

[B]

I never should have done that stuff. That was my own insecure job. You gotta get like. Cause I was. So they wanted to have me do a TV show. I did quit after That I just focused on stand up for the. For the last two years before snl.

[C]

But it was really informative too. I said, like, well, if they can't. He's the most talented guy I know. Most talented guy out of San Francisco. This is the guy. And it's at like. And if this. If he's having a problem here, what the hell am I worried about? And that actually was very informative as well. So. Well, this shit, it's hard. And so that's why when you do a thousand auditions, like we did, you know, and like, the thing about. Was cool about Spade was he had already done a movie that was like amazing Academy. That was like a. An enigma in a. You know, it's crazy.

[A]

I was already on set for 10 weeks and. But you know, Robbie, we got the balls. You had was when things were cooking quicker for you. You got offered a movie and you said no. I think it was the one with Michael J. Fox in New Zealand.

[B]

The Frighteners.

[C]

And it was also Peter Jackson. I should have said yes, but the script was terrible.

[B]

I think it was 300 grand.

[C]

I was like, first American movie. But it was called Abracadavra, which is like, oh, my God, that sounds like a career ender.

[A]

That's the great. Oh, yeah.

[C]

But it wasn't. It wasn't a great. But like, I would have.

[A]

No, it was, I think 300 grand. I was more torn up by it than you were. I was like, he's turning the fucking book.

[C]

But you also, the boss did some shitty.

[A]

You wrote Copy Machine when we were just being told every day, don't put yourself in two lines.

[C]

Well, that was a thing.

[A]

And then you wrote your own sketch. And I was like, the balls. And then it got on and I was like, wait, that's even possible?

[C]

Well, that's the dangling carrot. Because, like, when Lauren hired us, that was too good too.

[B]

Lauren was a little vague, right?

[C]

He said, like what? I said, but I want to be a performer. We're going to hire you.

[A]

That'll come.

[C]

Are we going to hire you as a writer? Like we. Like, we're going to hire you as a writer. Because that's what happened after I got. I didn't do the. Didn't meet with him because I went and do a $75 gig and shit my pants, like I said in San Diego. Then I freaked out. And then I really got nervous because then they flew us back to New York and we had to perform for the Riders at Catch. And, you know, they didn't laugh Once in the whole time, they just wanted to see if you're gonna get shaken.

[B]

That's it. Lauren, when I was, he pushed me a little bit. Do you have anything else or is it just that? I mean, he literally tried to shake me. Not at the club, he saw me at a club, but at the little audition. So, yeah, that is a show. It rattles. You don't give it up. You don't, you don't, you don't.

[C]

Yeah, but there was a thing about, like, Remember when the ears burning off my face? I was saying. I remember at that point, I had to say to myself, okay, you just got annihilated physically, emotionally, spiritually, in every way you can. And they said, you can't. I said, I just said to myself, you cannot let this get to you. And you have to. I said, I'm willing to let them get to me till here. And it was like my belt. I said, I'm gonna let this affect me here, but not all the way to my feet. I'm not gonna let that happen. And so, like, when I was eating it that night, Just get through this, man. Get through this. They saw you be funny the other day. Just get through it, get through it. And I walked out of there and I was shaken by it, but not broken. And that was the key. Because on live tv, you can't shake. You can't be broken. You gotta stand in there and do it. And it's just the repetitive nature of it and just getting steely and getting tough. And then to the other level to

[B]

enjoy it, that's where you want to get to. And that took me a little time to truly enjoy it.

[C]

And then also to deal with the pressure of it, I mean, because that is a crap. I mean, that's why, like, when we first got there, I remember you and I looking like, what is everybody complaining about? This is the greatest thing ever. And like, four years later, it's like, boy, it does wear you down 100 hour weeks.

[B]

So when you. So it's like a dream come true. When you got Copy Machine Guy, what was that feeling? Because then you get on the show

[C]

when you get there and you see,

[B]

like, wow, something's popping.

[C]

These people get onto restaurants quicker than me. You got Phil Hartman, you got Dana Carp, you get these Murderers Row up there and then. But you also know, like, I know I can get this. And if I just gotta get on there and then, you know, then I remember when the first year late. No, it was late in 1990 when Adam Sandler was Hired. And this is a guy. And it was so cute because his first week was there, we wrote a sketch together. And I said, come here, I'll show you how it's done. Like, I know I've been there before shows by then. And then he. I remember he stayed up all night and his little eyes were puffy. And we wrote this thing for ourselves and then still had the big legs, though.

[B]

I want a picture of Adam.

[C]

And we wrote it and then they took it away from us and then gave it to, like was going to be. I think it was Goodman and Hartman. And they said, like, well, I said, well, what do we have to. In a gentle way, what do we have to do to get on ourselves here? And it was very instructive, too. He said. And it was. Downey said, when you could perform something, when you write something that you could perform better than other people, then we'll get it on. And I said, okay, bingo. I'll come up with something. And I liked writing for other people because I enjoyed also the thrill of, like, when you performed a piece that was probably the best one I had ever written for any piece, and you had a way of, like, you would like. It was like the wave. A really great comedian, as opposed to like a sketch player maybe could do it, too. But a comedian in a big room can ride the wave. And before it's coming down, you know, 3/4, 2/4, no one to come in with that other line. And it was a massive hairy head wound. Oh, you write that.

[B]

You're kind of the main architect of that sketch.

[C]

I wrote that with Adam, but that was me.

[B]

Well, double, double, thanks. I was riding a rocket in that. And of course, what we talked about on the podcast, the dog thing at the end was, you can't beat a dog. Going dog, you can't.

[C]

But the thing about it was the dog in dress rehearsal.

[B]

Yes. What did you guys do with the

[C]

dog and dress rehearsal? We said, okay, well, we can't have it rabid. But like, it said. They said to us, you know, I don't know anything about dogs. And they just said, well, if we don't feed it, it's going to, you know, it'll get to do what we want by the time. And anyway, so they didn't.

[A]

They.

[C]

They fed it a little bit. So it was curious.

[B]

It was curious address.

[C]

And it was absolutely famished.

[B]

Did you put more. Was it baby food you put on the.

[C]

It was liver. Baby food.

[B]

Baby food we put on.

[C]

And I said, I put it on and I Just. I just. I caked on there.

[A]

I tried it.

[C]

You did a beautiful thing where, like, because it was literally ripping off the side of your head, which was a wig prosthetic with a. The dog went for it. Basically.

[B]

It wanted it on air.

[C]

It wanted it. Massive hairy head wound. Was a guy who should not be at a party, who's at a party and just with a big head wound. And it's just, you know, is getting. Everybody is just like. He's trying to normalize it, which is great. Somebody. A crazy person in a room.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. In a situation where you're never trying

[A]

to treat you normally.

[C]

And he's got this reaction. Giant head when they're reacting. And he said, this is a punch bowl. And there's the thing. And then at the end, there's, I take a nap. Take a nap. And the dog goes to town. And it was a. One of those things where you're watching it and it's just. It's going really good, and you're just like, oh, God, come on, please. Keep going.

[A]

Keep going, man.

[C]

Get to this. Get to this. And then when the dog literally went.

[B]

Let me just went to get it.

[C]

Went to get it, because it knew where it was and was hungry. And then you did this beautiful thing where you snuck your hand up on the other side to hang on, to hold it.

[B]

And I was in a struggle with that.

[C]

You were also, because it was like your eyes. Eye. Your eyeball. Your literally. Your right eye is stretchy. Literally, what. You were like, four inches away from this very hungry dog, and you just kind of rode it. Rode it. And then you had the. The wherewithal to remember to let the audience, as it. As. As that screaming laugh was coming down to throw in a Like, yeah, my dog.

[B]

I think he must smell my dog.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But you had these.

[C]

You had to almost yell it.

[B]

Yeah, I had to kind of yell it. And the thing was, is back to our generation of not breaking. The sketch went so beautifully. I did not want it to be about the prosthetic coming off.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So by consequence, the. The battle extended so long that. And I heard someone. Lauren watching the monitor, which always. We always want to make Lauren helpless. And it was helpless with laughter. But anyway, Robbie, I. God, what can I do for you? I mean, those are two.

[C]

It's the least I could do to pay you by all you did for me.

[B]

Two great gifts when you.

[A]

You do. Rob and I both had this problem where, you know, you're writing that first year, even second year for me, and you're putting your stuff in even smaller parts. And they go, give that to Dana. Give it to Mike Myers. Give it to. And you have to keep taking yourself out. So the one way in is update. Because you're by yourself. You can try to get something on

[C]

that was Sandler's key, was the Eddie

[B]

Murphy, especially the guitar and your.

[A]

And your copy machine. But I think the host was Sting the first time he did it.

[C]

Well, the first time I did it was with Joe. No, no, Joe Mantegna. Mantegna. And I remember it was so crushed because I finally had a monster. It was one of the things I said when. Because Jim Downey notices a kind of like a goofy, too happy to be here kind of attitude, you know, was this. And he said, you got to do a character called the lurker kind of guys hanging around. But truthfully. And I gave him credit. But truthfully, the copy machine guy had nothing to do with that, really. It was just a guy. What. The truth of the. The real. That really came from when we first got there to snl, remember, before we got the really good office they gave you, there was so many cast members. I think 17 at the time.

[B]

That was the first time a really big cast.

[C]

It was a giant cast where literally the crawl of the show was actually longer than, like, the monologue because it was like 17 and also. And this and coast. And then the feature player. It was like Ellen Cleghorn and David Spain, Ross Schneider and Adam Sandler. It went on Melanie Hussle. So we were in like a half of a half an office. And I had the cooling and heating vent in mine, so it was either boiling or freezing in there. So I have claustrophobia because I have two older brothers and put me in sleeping bags and closets my childhood. So, like, I can't stand in closed place. I hate it. And so I would go out into the. Into the main writer's room. And I noticed when everyone's walking back and forth, you can't be as excited. The fourth and fifth time, we need to see, you know, Kevin Nealon. So Kevin was the one. I said, kevin. All right, Kevin.

[B]

Kevin, just your doors open.

[C]

And he came and played with the idea. Yeah, what do you want, buddy? What's Kevin? You know? And that was it. And I said I had to come up. And then I went to New Orleans for the weekend just to take off some pressure. And I thought, like, well, there's gotta be a reason why people would come into contact with this annoying person. They didn't want to put him somewhere else. And I just can't. I said, well, copy me copies. That was it. Simple. But I remember, like, people were laughing so hard at Reed, through which was like, to me, the. The real. The. To me, the real Democr. You know, for. There's no such thing as a democracy in show business, but that was the most democratic thing I've ever experienced. If you wrote a sketch, it was read in front of everybody. And that is pretty damn amazing. So if you murdered with everybody, chances

[B]

are usually that's good. And I. I think that I would use the word inexplicability, like making copies. It's all. Not a punchline, you know, it's all the absurdity and the rhythm to it. But it's also just kind of a nerd in an office leaning back, trying to be friendly. I mean, it works on a lot of levels.

[A]

You comb your hair kind of a funny way.

[C]

I always had my hair big by that time, because it was just like.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And he's like. He was a guy that you also. He kind of. Kind of gentle, and nobody wanted to hurt his feelings, but he was also annoying. And so it was a nice combination of this vulnerability.

[B]

Smiling smile.

[C]

Yeah. Vulnerability is a big one.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then people. And I remember, like, because I did it with Joe Montana and they said, we're gonna. We're gonna cut it time. We're gonna save it. And I went like, save it.

[A]

Terrifying.

[C]

It's my chance. I've waited all these years. I'm 25. I gotta make it now.

[B]

And who's this guy? The guy wants to make it guy.

[A]

But how would you not give it to the host? I mean, every. The always. The trick is if you write some for the host, that's the best.

[C]

Usually they knew that if you could perform it better, that. Sing songiness to it.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know if it's the perfect guy for that.

[B]

When did it first kill?

[C]

Who was the host?

[B]

Sting. Well, yeah, he's got.

[C]

Came out of the gate.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And people got into the rhythm early into that sketch. When was the first line?

[B]

Third time.

[C]

The third line, Kevin. And they said, hey, what's going on? It's a. All right. Kevin asking me questions. Kevin Aider. Kevin. And that one.

[B]

They laugh. The second one. Kevin.

[C]

Kevin. You know, just. There's no new information happening.

[B]

Don't Sting look like a little song? And then there you can laugh.

[C]

And then they found a spot for it. And then I remember, you know, the great Jim Downey took me aside and said, well, it's the only time, like, they hadn't done it very often in that show were like, you know, except for, you know, the, you know, the weight of you having to open every show for years was. They said, we're gonna do. We're gonna do another one of those. They said, we have a very, very rare thing here, a character that. That people love. And I said, it was a very rare, very. The rarest of things here. And I said, we're gonna do another one. And then he had the idea of the copy machine breaking down, and that was the best one we ever did.

[A]

I don't remember.

[C]

And that was phenomenal. That was like. Because you got to see his whole world crushed. Crushed, you know, the copy.

[B]

How does he react to that?

[C]

He's just like, well, they're taking the machine out. There's no reason for him, no one to have contact with him anymore. His world is taken apart. Yeah.

[B]

So what does he say?

[C]

You know, it's just. He just got crushed. And then they. And they brought it back in. But you got to see him just, like, devastated. And I just remember laughing. But the first time we did it, the read through, Jim was dying laughing because of the rhythm. It was a rhythm of a rhythm of a rhythm.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that by the time it was like. And there was just a pummeling of it, and he was dying laughing at it.

[B]

It's great to make Jim laugh.

[C]

This is the one that's gonna get on. And Jim would give it up. That was the key to it. He was interested in us as young guys, and I think fed off the energy, but also, if he found something funny, he was very generous. You know, that wasn't always the case with people, you know, because, you know, like, you know, Jay Leno was like. Was another influence. Like, when Bob Fisher was a manager, he said, and I was a young comedian, he said, you're gonna pick up Jay Leno. He's got a gig in San Jose. You're gonna take him with the radio. And I know you know, San Francisco, you're. You grew up here. You're gonna, you know, like the back of your hand, take him wherever he wants to go. So Jay Leno, which is a great Jay Leno story, that. That's. That's an old one. You gotta hear this one. But so I pick up Jason's, have a sign. Nice clean car. And so, you know, he picked him. Hey, you see you drive me through the gang. Yeah. I said, yeah, okay. I mean, you know, so we drive in. And I'm not saying anything, just driving there. And he said, you know, a good. You know, a good Chinese restaurant. I said, I know the best Mr. Leno. So I took him to the place that my dad knew was, like, for wealthy people, where they would go. We would go to a different place. He said, just as good food, not as expensive, just as good as that place. So I took him to that place, you know, and he said, well, yeah, come on and eat. I don't eat my bummy, you know, and. Because I wasn't gonna go and sit with him, but he did, and he said, so what are you, a comedian? And I said, yes.

[A]

Embarrassing.

[C]

I said, well, how much time you have? I said, I got about eight minutes. He said, good. You know, most comedians ask how much time I got.

[B]

Two hours.

[C]

Who wants to hear two hours of comedy material? You either have five minutes of kills every time. Everywhere. Everywhere you go, any place. Oh, you don't have anything. That's what you gotta get. And so he said, working. So I spent the next six months just only trying to get that killer five. And that was really helpful. But the Jay Leno story, which is really funny, around that time, he was doing this book bit on. On Letterman. Go, what's your beef? Let me tell you my beef. Let me tell you. And he would do this, and it was a monster, you know, like, you and I opened for him.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

In 1985.

[B]

The two of us, both of us. Okay. Because I did open for him. A few.

[C]

Open for. I was the opening act. You would come in and you did the. You did a half. And then he did an hour.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And we both sat back and went like, wow, this guy just got. We have our killer bits. This guy has. Every bit is a killer bit. That's what we said to each other. We were watching. It was at the. The palace of Fine Arts.

[B]

Palace Fine Arts, yes. Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he was like a professional comedian in the sense that every bit would flow to the next bit. And he was tagging his McDonald's. Hey, McDonald's trainee. How do you be a McDonald's trainee? Let me get the milkshake for it, you know? And it was all killing.

[C]

And it was like, you got that hand, that Buick 1955 Buick. You know, the kind of car you run into a Toyota.

[B]

He just holds it off. He holds it off.

[C]

Then you got to keep driving.

[B]

And he smoked in a pipe backstage. And I got off, maybe before he went off, he always had a pipe, the early days. And goes, hey, you need more junks. Mr. Kavi. He's kind of right, because I'm just doing chopping broccoli. Chopping broccoli. So I assume Jay would be like, you know, yeah, I need more jokes.

[C]

And he rode a motorcycle onto the stage.

[B]

Yeah, he always was on a motorcycle.

[C]

Motorcycle onto the stage. He bought broccoli. That's it. There's a funny thing that happened, though. There was a comedian who did an impression of Jay early. Because we can all do. We're all. I'm like third generation Jay Leno. We all got that. You know, it's like, you know, once somebody breaks it and then.

[B]

Yeah, everybody has it.

[C]

So there was a guy who did an early impression of. Of Jay and what he would. Did back then. Remember, there's like a comedy magazine or a comedy list of when your spots would. You. You know, so if you had. If you were, you know, like Jay Leno or Jerry Seinfeld, you could buy a whole page which is like, you

[A]

know, just for laughs. Newspaper.

[C]

Yeah, so you can. And then they would promote and it would hand it out of the different comic. And he's playing this auditorium.

[B]

Jerry was another one. Way ahead of us.

[C]

Yeah, like, they were pretty promoting and big, you know, whatever. And so. But what happened was there was a comedian who saw where Jay was playing, so he would call up and say, this is Jay. Yeah, you're. I'm doing my gig. And, you know, it's kind of one thing that when I show up at the airport, you'd have to have 25,000 cash at the airport when you pick me up. And so Jay would fly to this place, and they go, jay, thanks for coming. And here's the. Here's your cash. Anything with this. He said, It's 25,000. You asked. I didn't ask for 25,000. What are you talking about? Who answered? I'm not. It's like. And he said. And then he would go to another place, you know, and the guy would call ahead and say, listen. Yeah, yeah, before I need to. Oh, my God, you're gonna have a. I need the 25 in a brown. In a brown paper bag. And you have it at the airport. You got to do it. I'm not going to do the gig. And so the guy would show up. Hey, Jay, what is the 25,000? 125. Yes. Yeah. You asked her, you know, 25,000 grand, paper bag. He said, I didn't ask. What the hell's going on? Hear me tell you what, you Japanese

[B]

guys, I gotta Go down here.

[C]

And so what he did was he called. He finally figured out what was going on here. So he called, said, listen, if you get. The guy calls up and says he's me, just get his number. And then he got his number, this comedian, uh, oh, who was doing it. And then he found out the guy's name and when he. And the best part of the story, he was going to. He was auditioning for Jim McCauley for the Tonight Show. He said, let me know when he. So before they bring him up, Jay said, let me just go up and do some time. So Jay goes up, does 45 minutes of his killer shit at the Comedy Magic Club before this guy goes on and blows out the room. And Jay could blow out any room he wanted and blew it out till there was just nothing left. And then this guy went on after and just ate it. Didn't get the show.

[B]

I, you know, I'm. I plead guilty in 78. After Mork and Mindy, I did a couple, you know, Hello. This is rubbing. I need. I need a million dollars cash at

[C]

the next

[A]

Dana Carvey's house.

[B]

I need a million dollars.

[A]

Hey, before we jump back into the show, let's take a quick break. All right? Not just any break. This is a refreshing break with Snapple. We all know about Snapple's icon Real facts. So let's take a minute to go over some of my faves.

[B]

Snapple Real fact. 455 movie trailers used to come on at the end of the movies, but no one stuck around to watch them.

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I've heard that. Snapple Real Fact 831. Adults laugh only about 15 to 100 times a day, while preschoolers laugh an average of 300 times a day.

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That's interesting. Snapple Real fact 1274. Kickball is referred to as soccer baseball in some parts of Canada. Hmm.

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So grab a Snapple, take a second, enjoy the moment.

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Because let's be honest, this might be the most refreshing part of your day. Snapple. Make your break more interesting.

[B]

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[B]

I just want to mention these guys

[A]

before we get right up to our

[B]

pals and you can join in because they're listening. Listening to this from the old San Francisco, of course, the great Bobby Slayton, Mike Pritchard, Jake Johansson, Milt Abel, Larry Bubbis Brown, Mark Pitta, Bob Sarlop, Mark McCollum and many, many more that came up in that early scene with us. Robin Williams was the godfather of that.

[C]

Robin Williams was such. I mean before the Internet, before, you know, cell phones, Robin would show up at like the. At the Holy City Zoo. And then people on the street would hear about it and the next thing you know it's packed. People would be running to get in there and then he'd at least.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

And then. And then he'd leave. And if the drunk people stayed, then we'd have an audience. And so more times than not it would be. The audience would come to see him and hopefully he'd show up. And more times than not he did because he was just addicted to it and then and loved it. And so we had a scene thanks to him. There was like at one point comedy scene on one street, on one block. There were three places to do stand up. Was that last day Saloon had it on like Mondays or whatever. Clement, Holy City Zoo, Clement street and 6th. And then there was a place across the street that would do it on. On like Tuesdays. Yeah, a bar.

[B]

You know, we were there pre clubs, the clubs. The first club got built in 79 proper club. That was the punchline that was like

[C]

when you did that they paid you 25 a little bit more.

[B]

That was amazing.

[C]

But that. But like. And also just seeing like you know had like a real job in show business. Bob Starlott, he was like on tv, which is like incredible.

[A]

Jamie tonight he was a sidekick for

[B]

Letterman on Letterman's morning.

[C]

On the morning show. That was like ridiculous and. But he had like would do spots on TV and was always Smooth and a totally professional guy. Kind of like, had that. That kind of the charisma of like a Leno who just would just settle in. The audience could be totally relaxed watching him and then see, like, Slayton would murder and do really edgy. Edgy material that like. And get away with it and just get to the point where the audience is pushing back because. But then dance around it and make jokes off, not apologizing for it. And that was a really, like, very instructive way. And he would destroy a room, like, literally. Like, well, you have to learn what, like a headliner is. You had to learn what an MC is or like a middle act. And you see, like, you see Dana Carver, he's like, well, that's a superstar. But then you see, like, you see Bobby Slate.

[A]

Solid headliners.

[C]

Bobby Slayton was a solid headliner. Is going to work everywhere, and that's what you got to do. But that wasn't my style because my style was more offstanding and uncomfortable. So I was good for 20. I would be good for 10, 15. 20 was interesting and different. Bring the audience to me and. But that's not a headliner. Headliner. You got to go out and you got to pummel, and that's different.

[B]

But in the last 15 years, when you come back to stand up, you've done several specials. You've done great. You know that. That you become great, great stand up.

[C]

You have to change and adapt because you also have to adapt to what their expectations are.

[B]

Yeah. Once they famous, you're famous. Copy machine, whatever.

[C]

The senior movies.

[B]

And also all the movies, let's mention them quickly.

[A]

I was going to say, if we're going to wrap up Precious San Francisco,

[B]

you also did SF, AZ, didn't get much play.

[C]

Larry Bubbles Brown, these guys didn't move to la. That was the problem.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And they became San Francisco treats, you know, like famous San Francisco.

[C]

But you have to make the sacrifice and come down and eat shit for a while and audition for a thousand. But a lot of people's like, they didn't want to mess with how comfortable things were.

[B]

I never understood that, like, making that your thing. Because I think it was Rick Overton who said, hey, the cameras are down there, buddy. You know, let's go to where the cameras are.

[C]

You have to.

[A]

Rich Shidner. Hey, did it says here you dated Julius Sweeney? I don't remember that.

[C]

No. I don't know why this stuff like that gets on the.

[A]

You had a phrase called you can do it. Is that true?

[C]

Well, that Was. I didn't understand that. Adam asked me to be in one of his early movies. He asked me to be in like the. To play the part that Ben Stiller did in Happy Gilmore. And he said, because of this. Playing this.

[B]

Have a chemistry. And David, you guys are part of that.

[C]

There was a thing where like. There was a comfort level where like. And I finally told Adam, I said, listen. I said, stop. He said, you got to put other famous people in these movies. You don't need. And I said, you don't need to hire me for that. I'm telling you, you could hire. Hire Nick Nolte. And he finally did. And now he's not hiring me. He took me up on it. But the Hire people and do these other.

[B]

But you beat the shit out of that. That's what I mean. Doing a great thing with that phrase.

[C]

A rhythm. So the thing was he said, there's one line and you could do it. And it says you can do it. And it was actually Hurley, he. Who came up with it. And he. And I said, well, what does it mean? He said, just come out. We'll figure it out. It's a rhythm thing. And I'll go like, all right. So went out and it was a sing songy thing of just. Just a guy showing up.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Who would. So there is that. The fun of the audience knowing that there's some back history with Adam.

[B]

Something's happening in the. In the.

[C]

And it was like. And I said, I'll find a way to do it. Just do it in different ways. And you can do it. So it was like. It was just goofy. It didn't make sense. It was a guy who is not explicable.

[B]

That's why it lasts. Inexplicable jokes like chopping broccoli or you can do it just go on for decades.

[C]

It's something that. It doesn't need to be performed that way. No one in the history of the world would say it that way. It's not necessary.

[B]

It's unnecessary. It's five questions. Who is that guy? What is he doing there? How did he get there? When did he come with his catchphrase? Why is he yelling it? When you can get to five questions, that's a keeper.

[C]

And auditions a celebrity yelling a shit joke.

[B]

Yeah, what's the shit joke?

[C]

He's like, I got chunks of guys like you with my stool.

[B]

There you go. Phil Hartman.

[C]

Three.

[B]

Three.

[C]

But the five. That's pretty good. So that was like. And let's do it in different ways. And he kept. Adam had a genius thing of, like, he would keep the audience. They'd always get a laugh in there. And even when it was, like, a serious part and like, the waterboy, when he's upset and he throws a basket, throws a baseball out the window and hits the Kentucky Fried Chicken curve. Eternal. And it got a laugh and carried them out of that scene.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So he really knew how to, you know, get. Keep the laughs going in there.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

You go into auditions, and then, like, when we were doing movies, and you would have people come in for auditions, when you're on the other side of it. We're casting people.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And when everyone does a line the same way, and then someone else. You can do it, you go, oh. And then you go, have them come back, because that stands out. If you can. If you're not going to give it the most perfect, perfect reading that everyone's gonna give. There's something to that.

[C]

You gotta bring something to it that's different.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Bring something on the page. When you did the wrong missy, there was nothing in that. I mean, truthfully, there's nothing in that role, and. Wrong missy.

[A]

Wrong missy for you.

[C]

Nothing. But even Adam called me, said, I don't want you. There's this role, but it's not big enough. You don't need to do it. There's nothing. He asked me.

[B]

That was funny.

[C]

He asked me to, like, to do this thing. And then. And then he called me up at the last minute and go, like, we really want you to do this. And I said, okay, I'll do it. And I said, but it's my wife's birthday. He said, just bring her. And so we ended up. My wife came, and she was happy to go to Hawaii, and it was a fun gig because I'm just showing up doing a small role at a small time. Everyone's happy to have you there because you're just coming.

[A]

You were helping out.

[C]

You were scoring. And I said, well, let me figure this out. And I called Sandler. I said, what if I do it as an Aussie guy? You could go like that. And he said, no, you don't want to. Adam is like, what are you doing? You know, just do there. You know, he's already doing. Just do it. Just what either side can. Yeah. All right, all right, all right.

[B]

We love you.

[C]

And so. But then you got to find the thing. And I said, well, I said, if you start crazier to beginning in the beginning of the scene, and then you got a place to really go if you Were crazy. And I said, get me sunburned and ever. And I was like, overweight and burned and fat and bald. And I said, this is going to be great.

[A]

Snyder always commits to.

[C]

And they gave me a hand that was missing a few fingers. Fingers. And I said, young director, young directors. You know, you be gentle with the young directors, but you also have to, like, you can't listen a hundred percent because they, you know, if you went 30 movies and you go, I really think this is a better idea than. Because he said, like, when you see that shark down there, you tell him, you know, and he's like, you tell him I'm okay, I'm going to get it. You know, the attitude is to be angry. And I thought, well, let's do the opposite of that, you know? And I said, okay, just put the camera on. I said, well, when you see that shark down there, you tell him what's up, up? As if he's, like, happy to see him again even though he ate my hand. And it's just funnier. And it's. It's a rhythm that you don't expect.

[B]

It's positive. It's always good to go there.

[C]

And when the guys get eaten by a shark, I said, you got to cut back up to us dancing. You just got to do it. And he said, we don't have time. I was the guy getting one take. I said, he's under. David's under the. David's in the shark sound, like on the belt.

[B]

I want to hear him.

[C]

And I said. And he said, we don't have music. We don't have time for the money. We don't have music. And I said, said, let me talk to my music guy, and I'll give you a piece in 30 minutes. That'll be free. Just. Yeah, that'll be. So I called my.

[B]

That's awesome.

[C]

I called my composer, John Hunter in Austin. I said, dude, can you just give me fam. I'm doing this movie. It's Happy Madison. David Spade's the star. We just need a disco song that they can just have for free.

[A]

You Farley Swartz, and just are dancing and playing against me getting eaten by sharks.

[C]

Yes. And he said, well, we only have time for one take. I said, I'll take it.

[A]

Yeah, take it.

[C]

So he did the one with the crane coming up over dancing to this disco song while you eat the water. And it's something to cut to. You're gonna want it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If we don't have time, just do it. So we got One.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's what they use. So that's what you kind of hope for well worth it.

[B]

But what voice did you settle on? I just. I saw the movie.

[C]

They wouldn't let me do a. So I. What I ended up doing was like a really low kind of guy. Well, they didn't want to do Robert Shaw. What I wanted to do is a guy who's an alcoholic and great, you know, gravelly voice and low to the opposite of you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because that was interesting.

[B]

And then like.

[C]

And then you get like. And I had nothing really there. So you just crazy. What do I got? I said, I'm the diving straw. This is my boat. Give me. This is my fucking boat. I'm in charge of the boat. So give me some stuff and the prop guys. What do you need? I said, give me the. Give me the snorkel and the rest of it. Does it need to work? Of course it needs to work. Give me the goddamn thing. And he said, please turn around. Give me something to do. And so I started playing with it while between takes. Us. What's funny? And was making noise.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And so we just. And David and I work together.

[B]

Part of the rhythm. It's like a vape pen.

[A]

We were fucking laughing.

[C]

Yes. And so I got this thing all of a sudden. And so. And he's about to get into the water and as he's walking, I'm walking with him with this thing. It's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I put. And it's so right before I'm spraying. Putting it on him and spraying at the water. And then I put it in my mouth. And then I hand it to him.

[B]

You got everything?

[A]

David?

[C]

It's like. Was supposed to put that in my mouth. And I knew he'd go with it.

[A]

I remember we rehearsing that and I go rob. Cuz it was so funny. I go do it more. And so you going like lick, lick.

[C]

And I'm just staring at you. And then you finally go.

[A]

And then you stick it and you go. And I put that in my mouth.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But that got us out of that scene. Big laugh.

[B]

To get to the funny with the sound off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, just that funny. And.

[C]

And did it 8 funny sound off

[B]

100 billion minutes or how many.

[A]

55 million views that first month and then still like a billion. I don't know.

[B]

Back then it wasn't minutes.

[A]

It was just.

[C]

But that was the thing, you know. Smash funny with the sound turned off.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

We had an acting coach, Ivana Chubbuck.

[A]

Yeah. She really helped.

[B]

That's huge.

[C]

Roy London was the first one. And then when he passed away, Ivana Chubbuck took over. And she would say, do this scene again, but without the words. So everyone knows from your physicality what's happening. Happening. Yeah, because that's. You're communicating with your body, aren't you? You should be.

[B]

That's I Love Lucy. That's the great.

[C]

She would also just use a lot

[A]

of props, really work the room like it's more fun. If you're doing business, you're doing that. And that's hard to do because you're acting. You got to remember your lines. You gotta. You gotta match everything.

[C]

Get it. Get the stuff. And like, for Deuce Bigelow, the thing about that was, like, Deuce Bigelow, my favorite thing about that. I was flying to Australia to promote the movie, and I'd never flown anybody to promote anything. So this is like. And this is like the first starring role in any movie where I was like, the guy on the poster. It's like, it's cool to be on the poster, and there's a billboard of you. And it was.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I thought, wait, let's just have a big name. It was Walt Disney Company did it, and it was for Joe Roth. And I said, this is a funnier thing. It's like me naked on the side of a bus. You know, like the Burt Reynolds thing. And I was in really good shape back then. He said, this would be funny. And I said, no. And they said, very interesting thing. I said, posters are to not lose people. Don't give people a reason to not want to go see it.

[B]

I'll give them any edge on.

[C]

And I said, holy crap. And so I'm flying to Australia because the movie did really good in America, you know? And then I just. There's you. You hear this laughter. It's hard to hear anything on a plane, but you hear this booming laughter on a plane. And I go back there, and they were watching my movie without the sound because they didn't want to. You had to spend money to get movies back then.

[B]

Really good sign.

[C]

Yeah, really good sign. I said, this is gonna do really good everywhere because. But they didn't pay the 10 bucks. They're just watching the movie because they can understand it by the physicality, because that's the way you're.

[B]

And you can laugh harder when it's funny with the sound off. You're not waiting for punchline. You can just relax.

[C]

And sometimes when you're doing things and they Don't. It's really funny. And then they could ruin it with sound. There was men Behaving Badly TV series. The funniest thing I did in the whole series was very frustrating because the English show was so funny. It's the only reason I agreed to do it. Do the same thing. Sitcom on NBC. And they just. Instead of making it just doing the same episodes that they did in England, they watered them down as, like, men apologizing badly. But there was one really funny thing where they said there was. I'm going to get attacked by an owl. And it was in the way back in the foreground. And I'm just in the background while there's people in the front, which. That's hilarious. But you could be the funny. They said, well, what do we have? We can't have a real owl. And I said, just get a stuffed owl. Just get something and I'll pretend it's attacking to me. So I grabbed the beak right here and I did this. And I am spinning around and I'm going out of frame. Coming back in, coming through. I'm hitting it, hitting it.

[B]

Hit.

[C]

And then. And so. And that was the. And then they put. And it was. It was the funniest thing I'd done on that show. And then they put like. Like when they. When they came on the air, the. The cowardly producers decided to put squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk. Which killed it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because it brought too much attention to it. But I ended up redoing that for another movie. Basically, that idea of the far background and going back with an animal.

[B]

That's the essence of comedian. Trying to be in movies and wanting to control the rhythm. And Sandler told me early on, after his success, he goes, car, nature, don't. Meaning the directors. He did a couple of movies where Adam didn't get to be Adam. He goes, yeah, they don't know what they're doing, Harvey. Yeah, they don't really know. It's not their fault. They don't know where to put the camera or whatever. So that. That. That kind of triggers me a little bit because I had experiences just like that.

[C]

Because that's a survival mechanism. You know what.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta be. We know the funny part. Just let us do that. So.

[C]

And then. And then if you get anybody who's gonna be a director, and they usually put us with commercial directors because they know where to put the camera, not at work, and they know a schedule and blah, blah, blah. But they also have the ego of like, no, let's do it my way.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And then you go, but this is what I wrote.

[B]

Well, Penelope Spheres, in Wayne's World, one, was my best director because I'd have a Garth thing. And she'd go, what are you gonna do here? And I'd show her. And her only direction was, could you do it 10 seconds faster? That was it. No other direction.

[C]

But that's actually good, because I want to. Yeah.

[B]

Because I already had the character.

[C]

And the thing is about doing it faster and cutting out the pauses is instructive.

[B]

That's fine. You know, that's just. Okay, I can do it a little shorter.

[C]

I used to hate when, like, you know, Dennis Dugan would say, can you do it without the pauses? Can you just do it without the pause? Just do it tighter than without the pauses. And I said, can't you just cut it that way? And they said, what if I don't want to cut it? And then he's right.

[B]

Yeah. Because a single shot is best, ideally, unless the edit is a comic.

[C]

That was the thing. Like John Cleese, such a my hero. And like, genius, genius. And he said, you know, look at the scene in Life of Brian, also voted as the number one comedy of all time in England. Now that, you know, you bastardize our language. But. But for. For English in the traditional. Anyway, it's all. And he said, this is the number one. This is the. Voted. Not by me, of course. By people who. You know, the public. So anyway, so he said, look at the scene when Michael Palin. And there the guards are going in to, you know, this is don't let anyone in. Blah, blah, blah. And unless it's him. No. And it's the guards. And they said. And then. So, okay, let anyone in. No, no, no, no, no. Don't let anyone in, no matter what. And it's a very intricate thing, but it's a single master shot. They said it requires a lot more rehearsal, but it let the audience decide where they want to look. Because so much of direction in television direction, and we're in an era of television digital cutting. Cut here, let them look at this. Cut here. Look at them do this movie. I don't really speak Spanish that well, but I just directed a film in Mexico, and the editor, who's a great guy, but he cuts to this and then punching on this. And I said, let the audience figure it out. Two shots are great where they're looking. Let the audience decide who they want to look at.

[B]

I feel like when I'm watching some I'm in an invisible flying chair. Like, I'm in a. I'm flying in the chair, seeing the guy waist up, and all of a sudden I'm way in the back, and then I'm right up on his face and like, you know, just let it breathe. You know that cowboy shot. Hold that a lot.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't overcome.

[C]

That's the most important shot for standup in those specials.

[B]

I don't know who couched it. Was it Steve Allen? I mean, it just became the classic shot to give a monologue. Yeah.

[C]

The audience has to feel comfortable.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They have to be comfortable with you and with. And then. And if they're. And what I always tell the movies, it's like, you know, and I tell this because I was just working with a crew in Mexico and I said, listen, I said, here's the thing. And I would tell the first A.D. and you know, because we were getting along in days. And I said, you know what? People never say, I gotta go see that new movie. I heard it was on time. You know, I got it. And I tell the cinematographer who wanted to do this shot, and I said, I said, you know what? They never hear. You never hear an audio. People say, like, I gotta go see that new movie. I hear the camera moves are excellent.

[A]

I heard it came in under budget. All right, Rob, thanks for coming by. I guess.

[B]

Schneider all time great on snl, Huge cultural influence in American comedy movies in the last 30 years and just really shared a lot of great times with this young man, David. We're friends, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I like all my youngsters. I'm so proud of both of you.

[C]

Thank you. Proud.

[B]

All right, peace out.

[C]

We will.

[A]

All right, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click, follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that God dang button on your favorite podcast app. Leave a review, a good one, leave a five star rating, nothing else.

[B]

Whoops.

[A]

And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think?

[B]

I'm gonna tell you this right now. Hear me now, Believe me later. Flyin the Wall, Believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by. Hold for it. Dana Carvey and David Spade or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil Sweetek. Talent production and booking by Sophia Lepore.