Rehashing Eddie Murphy Beef & Farting Pastor

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode Summary – “Rehashing Eddie Murphy Beef & Farting Pastor”

Date: November 24, 2025
Hosts: Dana Carvey and David Spade
Publisher: Audacy

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Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, Dana and David dive into their signature blend of freewheeling banter—joking about pop culture oddities, “trending” news, and comedy industry lore. The centerpiece is Spade’s infamous past beef with Eddie Murphy and how time heals comic wounds. Later, they riff on weird viral stories (including a pastor who claims to heal by farting on congregants), stand-up impressions, “useless talents,” outlandish conspiracy theories, goofy improv bits, and odd trends scrolling across the web. The mood is light, absurd, and self-deprecating, sprinkled with their trademark impressions and comedy shop talk.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Eddie Murphy Beef: From Burn to Reconciliation

Timestamps: [03:20] – [04:39]

• Spade recounts the period when, as a new SNL cast member, he made fun of Eddie Murphy on Weekend Update, which led Murphy to confront him angrily over the phone.
  • David Spade [04:00]: “I made fun of him and it didn’t go well. He called me and we had it out, actually, he had it. I didn’t fight back, really…”
  • Resolution: Recently, Spade and Murphy have spoken, and it’s all water under the bridge. Murphy publicly stated, “we’re all good.”
• Wisdom from the Wounds:
  • Dana Carvey [04:39]: “Things that seem so important. Time heals all wounds... you go, really? What was I so upset about?”

2. Comedians & Criticism: The Double-Edged Sword of Jokes and Comments

Timestamps: [05:31] – [08:13]

• Spade cautions comics want to make fun of everyone and then hide behind, “It’s comedy.”
  • David Spade [05:31]: “You want to do jokes about everyone… but obviously, people get mad.”
• Carvey laments the addictive negativity of social media.
• Influence of Comments: Examples of Kate McKinnon and Conan O’Brien avoiding reading comments to steer clear of negative self-consciousness.

3. Comedy Impressions & Stand-up Observations

Timestamps: [08:45] – [12:25]

• Praising Marcelo Hernandez’s SNL impression of Sebastian Maniscalco:
  • David Spade [09:08]: “When he played Sebastian, I cracked up within five seconds…”
• Carvey muses on the wild source of his “church lady” character and the oddness of comic invention.
• They riff on parental quirks and classic stand-up references (clipping toenails by the pool, dads eating dinner shirtless).

4. Weather, LA Rain, and Plant Skits

Timestamps: [13:13] – [15:36]

• LA’s unseasonal rain prompts riffing on umbrellas, unprepared Angelenos, and Carvey’s silly “plant sound effect” sketches.

5. Best Streaming Show Debate

Timestamps: [18:49] – [21:16]

• Dana introduces “Nordic noir” and recommends shows like RARE and Task (although the details are sketchy and banter-filled).
• Subtitles: Both hosts joke about how they rely on them—even for English shows due to mumbled dialogue.
• Spade jokes about captioning on stand-up clips:
  • David Spade [20:57]: “The joke on the bottom is a hair ahead of how they talk. And I don’t want to know the joke before they say it.”

6. Games, Banter & Comedy Bits

Timestamps: [21:22] – [23:42]

• Silly word games with friends (“thank you” where it doesn’t belong, “you’re welcome” as a punchline).
• Standup etiquette—when to blame the audience for bad sets.

7. The Viral “Farting Pastor” Story

Timestamps: [23:44] – [24:48]

• Exploring a trending (and bizarre) story about a pastor who claims to heal by farting in people’s faces.
  • David Spade [24:31]: “I don’t know how many people get healed. I’m sure it’s hovering around 90 to 100 percent, but… seems like when people fart on people, it’s not doing that much good.”
• Carvey: “Maybe get on Fly on the Wall… a pastor who farts in people’s faces!” [24:12]

8. Prodigious Impressions & Improv: “Space Ship to Mars”

Timestamps: [25:50] – [29:05]

• The hosts launch into improv: Trump as a starship commander, with McConaughey and Arnold Schwarzenegger as crewmates.
  • Dana as “Trump” [26:35]: “I can fly a ship like you wouldn’t believe.”
  • Arnold (Carvey) [27:40]: “We’re going to Mars. We’re going to find little stick figure girly, girly Martians…”
• Pure absurd, freeform comedy.

9. Conspiracy Corner: Project Blue Beam & Space Hoaxes

Timestamps: [29:36] – [31:47]

• Spade brings up theories that governments fake alien invasions using holograms—a reference to “Project Blue Beam.”
• Carvey: Playful skepticism—“Who’s doing this beaming Jesus in the sky?” [31:09]

10. Childhood Anecdotes: Family 'Fun', Spankings, and Monster Games

Timestamps: [32:29] – [35:58]

• Spade tells a wild story of being tricked by his dad into believing he was a real monster, resulting in Spade “stabbing” him in the leg.
• Both reminisce about old-school discipline: “Pick the belt you want to get spanked with.”

11. Viral “Useless Talents” & Stupid Human Tricks

Timestamps: [36:03] – [37:33]

• They review viral videos of people's odd talents (laughing without moving their face, hypermobility).
  • David Spade [37:03]: “These are like stupid human tricks. I love that.”

12. Space News, Odds of Existence, and Cosmic Absurdity

Timestamps: [38:35] – [41:54]

• Joking about NASA’s planetary defense protocols, comets “whizzing” past Earth, and the minuscule odds of Earth’s existence.
  • Dana Carvey [39:40]: “Do you know the odds that the Earth exists?... Two trillion to one.”
  • Both muse about aliens and “seeding” the planet.

13. Viral Fashion: Jean Guy and Fit Check Kids

Timestamps: [47:06] – [48:53]

• Riffing on people who go viral for weird trends (a guy wears “12ft long” jeans) and daily parent/kid “fit checks.”

14. Lead Paint Conspiracy

Timestamps: [48:59] – [50:38]

• Spade shares a conspiratorial TikTok about how lead paint was banned not for toxicity but to allow radio waves into homes.
  • “I’d rather have my cell phone than lead f------ walls.” – Spade

15. Answering Machines, Comedy Tropes & Classic Sound Effects

Timestamps: [51:31] – [53:04]

• Carvey and Spade recall silly answering machine gags, pitching sound-effect gadgets for “Hey buddy!” or “Your phone’s ringing boss!”
• Spade’s answering machine line: “Hey, it’s DS. Leave me a mess and I’ll clean it up.” [52:56]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Eddie Murphy:

  • David Spade [04:00]: “He called me and we had it out, actually, he had it. I didn’t fight back, really. And then, because I did feel a little guilty about it and he did make some sense.”
  • Dana Carvey [04:39]: “Time heals all wounds. And later on you go, really? What was I so upset about?”

• Comedy & Criticism:

  • Dana Carvey [08:16]: “Mostly just believe the good ones. I think that’s the rule.”

• On SNL Impressions:

  • Dana Carvey [09:08]: “It’s musicality and physicality.”

• Viral Oddities:

  • David Spade [24:31]: “It seems like when people fart on people, it’s not doing that much good in my experience.”
  • Dana Carvey [24:12]: “Let’s try to think of something that would really trend… a pastor who farts in people’s faces to heal them?”

• Shtick About Rain:

  • Dana Carvey [15:16]: “Then the third day of pouring, sometimes the plants are under the ground, and then it rains and then one hand, it’s like they’re being born.”

• Best Streaming Shows – Subtitles:

  • David Spade [20:57]: “I don’t want to know the joke before they say it.”

• Project Blue Beam, Space Hoaxes:

  • Dana Carvey [31:09]: “Who’s doing this, beaming Jesus in the sky?”

• Childhood Monster Story:

  • David Spade [33:19]: “…So I stabbed him. And then he kept the shorts, Bermuda shorts. For years. That blood on them.”

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Useful Segment Timestamps

• [03:20] – [04:39]: Eddie Murphy beef and reconciliation
• [05:31] – [08:13]: Criticism and comment culture, Conan/Kate McKinnon
• [09:08] – [10:16]: SNL impression praise
• [18:49] – [21:16]: Best streaming show debate & subtitle jokes
• [23:44] – [24:48]: The “farting pastor” story
• [25:50] – [29:05]: Starship to Mars improv (Trump, Arnold, McConaughey)
• [29:36] – [31:47]: Project Blue Beam/Alien spaceship hoax
• [32:29] – [35:58]: Childhood discipline and monster stories
• [36:03] – [37:33]: Viral useless talents/human tricks
• [39:40] – [41:54]: Earth’s existence and cosmic backstory
• [47:06] – [48:53]: “Jean Guy” fashion viral video
• [48:59] – [50:38]: Lead paint conspiracy theory
• [51:31] – [53:04]: Answering machine comedy routines

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Tone & Overall Vibe

The episode is an irreverent, fast-moving ride through nostalgia, curiosity, comedy shop talk, and weird news. Spade and Carvey swerve easily between personal confessions, impression showcases, and playful rants about the absurdity of both entertainment and reality. The show is peppered with impressions (Trump, Arnold, McConaughey, etc.) and their genuine chemistry as veteran comedians shines through.

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Takeaways

• Comedy Legends are Human: Even icons like Eddie Murphy or Johnny Carson are “just people,” who react to jokes—and time mellows almost all beefs.
• The Internet is a Strange Place: Viral stories range from fart-healing pastors to weird fashion influencers.
• Translation & Access: Even comedians are at mercy of subtitles and the incomprehensibility of modern TV mumbling.
• Comedy’s Healing, But Also Wounding: The pair’s look into comment culture is a wry caution to younger comics.
• Absurdity is King: Whether concocting fever-dream Mars missions or riffing on project Blue Beam, nothing is too weird for Fly on the Wall.

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For new listeners: This episode is a quintessential sampling of Carvey-Spade energy—equal parts nostalgia, roast, conspiracy rabbit-holes, and affectionate ribbing, with plenty of industry in-jokes and iconic impressions. The “beef” story and the “farting pastor” are standouts, wrapped up in non-stop comedic riffing.

Transcript

[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

Oh, well, isn't that special special?

[David Spade]

That makes it my secret weapon when I want to give a gift that really, you know, lands. That's why Jenny Bird makes it easy. The packaging is beautiful. It's very thoughtful. The pieces are comfy enough to wear every day.

[Dana Carvey]

Y.

[David Spade]

And they ship fast. That's right. Perfect. If you're last minute shopper like me.

[Dana Carvey]

That's right. I mean, I just want to do this when I hear that. Way to go.

[David Spade]

Way to go.

[Dana Carvey]

And because the styles are so versatile, they always make an outfit feel pulled together. David. Without trying too hard. David. Not talking about you. Some of my wife's go to's are the best selling Florence earrings, which always get compliments. And the Remy Bengal lightweight, water resistant and just as good stacked as it is on its own. These are the gifts you'll actually want to keep.

[David Spade]

And you can get 20% off your first order with Jennybird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code F OTW at checkout. You know, when it gets colder, I always fall in the same trap. Heavy meals, too much takeout, and suddenly I'm like, why do my jeans hate me?

[Dana Carvey]

I know. Yeah, me too. I mean, I'll open the fridge in December and it's like half a pizza and an orange from 1997. Not a lot of healthy options, David. But here's the thing. Staying on track doesn't have to be impossible. Our new friends@forkful meals.com totally flips that script. Honestly, I didn't think I'd stick with it, but these meals show up fresh every week. Chef prepared for real food, not frozen mystery mush. Just heat it, eat it, and boom. You're not calling DoorDash for the fifth time that week.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it's not just about eating better. It's about time. I'd rather spend 30 minutes working on a bit for my hilarious act than 30 minutes staring into my oven going, is this thing even on?

[Dana Carvey]

Right? This is that one little thing that keeps you sane during the cold months. No stress, no junk, just done. But here's the deal. Do it now. If you. If you wait till the holiday slump hits, you'll be knee deep in stuffing and regret. Head to forkful meals.com. and use the code pod50 for 50% off your first order.

[David Spade]

All right, that's forkful. Meals.com code pod50. That's pod5O. Seriously, don't wait. Your future self will thank you.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes, thank you for not feeding me the leftover lasagna for the 12th time.

[David Spade]

Welcome to the podcast, Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. We're going to do a hot take in a few minutes about what is the current best live streaming show to watch. We may have a bit of a disagreement, but stay tuned for that.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That. I would not change that dial. Don't touch that channel.

[Dana Carvey]

Just. Just hang with us for a minute. We just want to kind of warm up to you, our listeners.

[David Spade]

First thing I have to mention from this week is that I know you're worried about me and Eddie Murphy hammering.

[Dana Carvey]

Everything out, but that did kind of blow up. Eddie Murphy has a documentary. Go ahead, tell the story. It's. It's just the story that won't die.

[David Spade]

Yeah, he has a documentary. I didn't see the documentary, but I do love Eddie Murphy. And we had bumps in the road along the way. Early on, it was weird going from being a super fan to having him hate me overnight and to try to win him back for the last.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, in 10 seconds. Explain the exact thing that happened.

[David Spade]

Oh, I was on Weekend Update on snl, new to the show, making fun of all the celebrities, and I made fun of him and it didn't go well. And he called me and we had it out, actually, he had it. I didn't fight back, really. And then, because I did feel a little guilty about it and he did make some sense. I just didn't like that because, you know, he was a hero. So we've got to the point. I saw him. I've seen him once or twice. Then I saw him at the 50th, and we talked a little bit and everything's fine. And then he admitted on the show, not admitted. They just asked him about it, and he said, yeah, we're all good. So it's. We're all good.

[Dana Carvey]

We kind of mentioned that with Mike Myers and his brother. Our last podcast, just things that seem so important at one. This is a wisdom alert for our younger listeners. Things that seem so important. Time heals all wounds. And later on you go, really? What was I so upset about? You know? And so this is what I met. He just totally let it go. I mean, I. I made Johnny Carson angry. He was kind of like, it's in our time. Johnny Carson, the Tonight show was just gigantic. And I did him a few times. He liked it. Then he was sort of upset about one of the episodes. Long story short. And then I was never on the show again, and. But he didn't go public with it, that he was mad.

[David Spade]

I mean, listen, I. When I left snl, I think they had a sketch, someone playing me, like, three weeks later, I'm like, let the body get cold. Let me get out of the building all the way before you come at me. And, you know, it's hard because you want to do jokes about everyone, and comedians can get a little attention because you go after anyone, and then you get to go, it's comedy. What are you mad about? But obviously, people get mad. I mean, it's human nature if someone goes a little too rough on you.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I just. Lately it was. I don't do this often, but I was on Twitter just going down, you know, and I thought, man, I'm. First of all, I'm addicted to everything. And everything is either conspiratorial anger, rage, criticism, super hard takes on people trying to take things down.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

And I.

[Dana Carvey]

And I had to. I threw the phone out of my hand and I took a cold shower. I just immediately, with my clothes on, just got. Just freezing water on my head.

[David Spade]

Yeah. When I get like that, I just stop everything and masturbate. The way this is. My doctor said you've got to know when to stop.

[Dana Carvey]

And you always told me you masturbated first before you went online.

[David Spade]

I do it first just to clear my head, and then I look at about three tweets, and no matter what they're about, I do it again. No, my. My Twitter is such a. It's. But it's all. The thing is, it's based in reality, so it's not just, hey, get mad about this. It's like they show you something that you go, oh, this is real. Most of it's real because it's videos you see, and some of it's. Most of its hearings or things or laws, and you go this. So you start to get worked up. But that's the part you can't get. Can't let it ruin your day.

[Dana Carvey]

And it's kind of. It's very interesting how. Really. And except for Trump. We can talk about him later. As far as someone who can take punishment and. And just somehow treats life like it's a video game. But Kate McGinn was on our. Our friend Amy Poehler's podcast and just said her big mistake was reading the Comments about her performance. Now she's considered one of the all time greats. Right. Kate McGinn on SNL. But it really got in her head because even though it was like people just attacking for no reason, she felt there was a kernel of truth in it.

[David Spade]

The.

[Dana Carvey]

That just really got in her head.

[David Spade]

Sure. Some is if you read comments and that and there's a common theme that's negative. Like you always do this. You always just. It is something that you think about and go, okay, well, maybe they have a point. I mean, it's not all just hate. Sometimes people go, I think you're great, but I wish you wouldn't. And if you hear that enough, you go, maybe I should tweak something.

[Dana Carvey]

But it could be constructive, right?

[David Spade]

Mostly just believe the good ones. I think that's the rule.

[Dana Carvey]

I was scrolling down last week and I'm not again, I'm not a big online guy, but I saw something I said it was about our podcast. I hate when Dana Carvey always. And then I just press.

[David Spade]

I gotta get out, get out.

[Dana Carvey]

Because like, I know Conan. I don't think this is a secret. I don't think he's ever listened to or seen his podcasts.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Just because of the self consciousness may outstrip whatever constructive criticism there is.

[David Spade]

I will now you're on Kate McKinnon. And I think we're gonna have Sarah Sherman jump on next week. But I wanted to say that Marcelo on SNL was very funny this weekend. And when he played Sebastian, I cracked up. I cracked up within five seconds. I was like, oh, this is funny. I didn't even see the whole thing. I got about 20 seconds in. I was like, this is great.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, Sebastian was a. On our podcast. He's a friend of the podcast. And I had just tried to figure out a way to encapsulate his style because he is singular in his own way. And I said it's. It's musicality and physicality.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

But that my thing was when he had a bit about being by the pool and a guy was clipping his toenails. I was sitting on the pool deck. His clipping his toenails over here. But here's my takeaway from Marcello's fantastic impression. He did every single physical move.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And it takes a guy in his 20s to be able to do what Sebastian did in his 40s. The physicality, I mean, it's just because it's really tight, sudden moves. And then when he jumped over the guy, Marcelo, that was a. He really got his Knees up. And you think, man, if somehow he clipped, that would have been. But he. He had real good clearance as well.

[David Spade]

But, you know, also the voice, the whole look. He had a funny suit on, funny hair, and he's like going. And this guy, he had every single hook. Every hook. Also, I like when. When Sebastian says, huh, huh. Can I put this in years? Huh? What do you want to do? That's always funny.

[Dana Carvey]

His character on stage is so defined. They just go, so went to my friend's house, you know, I gotta take my shoes off.

[David Spade]

Everything's normal. Normal.

[Dana Carvey]

Everything's kind of normal. And, you know, he's about to wind up, but he's holding it back. You know, my.

[David Spade]

My wife says, take your shoes off. Huh, huh, huh.

[Dana Carvey]

I gotta take my shoe stuff in the place.

[David Spade]

I think Marcelo not seeing dice that we grew up on. I sometimes do Sebastian and I go into dice, but without having that in his head. Marcelo just gets to focus on. On Sebastian.

[Dana Carvey]

There's some Dice influence there, but, you know, Sebastian different. Yeah, he made it completely new.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

I.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, you always wonder when you do stuff, where does it. Where does it come from? Like, I don't know where the church lady came from. Honestly, I don't know, because it's not Mom Frickard, you know, of men in drag. It's not Milton Burrow. So I'm not really sure where it came from, except from my childhood, I suppose.

[David Spade]

And I think Sebastian's got kind of the hook of Italian dad. Tough dad, tough neighborhood. Grew up tough. And then he was talking yesterday about when he. His dad mows the lawn drenched in sweat and comes in with grass all over him and sweat and sits at the dinner table. He goes, I don't know if dads still eat at dinner with their shirts off. Does that happen anymore?

[Dana Carvey]

I don't remember my dad eating dinner with his shirt off.

[David Spade]

It's a funny idea, though. My dad did. He just walk in and sit down if he was ever around. But he left when I was 4. But thanks for bringing it up, Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

I once said, well, why are you eating dinner with your shirt off? And he had a big glass of water and he threw it at my face, and he said, why are you wet? Why, Dana, what are you doing? Dana? True story. Oh, Jesus Christ. Why are you wet? I can't talk politics with you because you don't know. It's exact quote, hilarious exact quote in the exact voice of my.

[David Spade]

All right, tell me anything else that happened, and we'll get to some news stories because I'm out of stories.

[Dana Carvey]

You're out of stories? I don't have much in the Day of Our Lord.

[David Spade]

When did you.

[Dana Carvey]

Start, Dave? Phineas Spade, comedian and sometimes actor. Officially was out of quips. Drain.

[David Spade]

I'm running on low fumes. No, I. I just had a sort of. It's been pouring rain in la. And that's a story. It's not an interesting story, but that's all anyone in LA talks about. And there's nothing funny to say about it. It's just.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, nothing funny. Well, how did you respond to it? Fear.

[David Spade]

Fear and realizing that everything's different when it rains because you're so used to it not raining. So when you go anywhere, you got to walk 10ft. You got to go. You have to have an umbrella. My umbrella was a little shitty. Kind of used to get New York that are five bucks and they go.

[Dana Carvey]

Wind comes up, and then they're like.

[David Spade]

They barely cover your head. But it wouldn't. It kept coming down, so I had to hold it all the way up to the top the whole time I'm walking and hold it tight so it doesn't cave in on me. Oh, Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

That's New York. If you don't plan ahead, you don't have an umbrella. All of a sudden it's fucking raining and you have to duck it.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

What do you want?

[Dana Carvey]

Do you guys have any umbrellas?

[David Spade]

They just pop out. Umbrella salesmen with like, 80 umbrellas, you're like, give me, give me.

[Dana Carvey]

But it's like a Kmart umbrella. And they go, that'll be $99. Not, you need it, but you got to buy it. You got. I like the rain because where I live, the plants are desperate for rain. Everything is yellow and sad and droopy. And then the gusher of this scent from heaven, gushing, gorgeous water comes on the plants. This would be something you would do. And the plant's kind of like, oh, when will it rain?

[David Spade]

Yeah, they're parched. How would you.

[Dana Carvey]

How would you act that out? You'd have a sound effect for the plant, right?

[David Spade]

Like, the plants like this, they're dying. And I go. Heard about. There's. There's a cloud that I just. Chemtrails. And then it does rain a few drops, and I guess they just go, I just need a little something something. And then it pours and they go, that's enough. And then it's like, poor. And they're like, okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Then the third day of pouring, sometimes the plants are under the ground, and then it rains and then one hand, it's like they're being born.

[David Spade]

Yeah, they're like so much rain, they don't realize they're not getting any fucking more for six months.

[Dana Carvey]

You said there was no shtick about rain. We're sticking to an album with this.

[David Spade]

Okay, so Pura Dana is, is a sponsor where it's a fragrance. So they're sort of reimagining this. So it's a brand defining how people scent their spaces. Your house, your car. It smells a certain way. You can change that. You can make it better, you can make it different, you can make it holiday themed, you can make it whatever you want.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And their partner partnerships range from luxury brands to household favorites. I mean, you can get scents in there that just make you feel good, enhance your lifestyle. It's like a design aesthetic actually.

[David Spade]

Right. You can give it to someone and they can have it for their house, their car. You do it from your app, of course. It's obviously all the futuristic technology and it has a, it has a power. You know, when you smell something, it reminds you of something. It's sort of like a fingerprint on your house, your car.

[Dana Carvey]

So it's like if you want to go to sleep and you have the noise of rain coming down.

[David Spade]

Exactly.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, except with sense. And you know.

[David Spade]

Precisely. You get it.

[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

And here's the part I love most. For every item you buy, Bombas donates one to someone facing homelessness. So when you treat yourself or someone else to cozy, you're spreading that warmth far beyond your own home. Head over to bombas.com flywall and use code flywall for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M bas.com flywall code flywall@ checkout.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, let's name. Because we said we would, let's name the best live streaming show you can watch right now.

[David Spade]

Is there one you're thinking? Well, you mean like, like on Netflix or something?

[Dana Carvey]

Or Apple.

[David Spade]

Oh, there's live streaming, which is like, Bieber has a new live stream show where it's on all. Like, it's on for hours.

[Dana Carvey]

That's. Yeah, that's.

[David Spade]

And. And Aiden Ross. There's, There's. There's two. I might go. I might go on some of these and just see what it's all about. But you're talking about, like, stream shows like Netflix or Apple. Yeah. Okay, so which ones are good?

[Dana Carvey]

There's one. I like Nordic noir. It is an actual category because I'm Swedish and Norwegian. I'm Swedish and Norwegian and a wee bit of Scottish and of course Irish Unum. Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I've heard about it.

[David Spade]

I'll watch that.

[Dana Carvey]

It's kind of cool. There's a show called R A R E and it's. It's a murder mystery. Filmic film. Nordic noir. Now let me ask you a question. Can you handle some subtitles?

[David Spade]

Yeah, because I, I get some. Even if it's English, there's subtitles on there.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And I wind up reading Mumble if.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, I thought maybe it's my age, but people are just mumbling. Get the.

[David Spade]

Any accent. I'm done. I can't do it. I was watching Task, which I really liked, and Task great is. I don't know. Is it Austria? I can't remember anymore.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it's American. Mark Ruffalo. That's a ruffle.

[David Spade]

I get it.

[Dana Carvey]

Task is up there. I'd recommend.

[David Spade]

Oh, it's. It's Not Boston. It's Philadelphia Hoagie. I can understand it, but if it's Irish or English and they talk fast, I cannot. Yes, but when I did my special, they put this is what happens. I see clips online of comics. They put it at the bottom, but the joke on the bottom is a hair ahead of how they talk. And I don't want to know the joke before what they say it.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, sometimes I think it would be like an acting class for people when you. You're watching the subtitle writers and you're getting it right before they say it. So you can kind of go, oh, that's how they're saying it, you know?

[David Spade]

Yeah. Always ahead, they put the jokes and you read them, and then they sound like, I want to see. I just want to hear it. And one or the other.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, but I. I don't watch comedy much.

[David Spade]

What do they write on every coin minted since 1941?

[Dana Carvey]

1E pluribus unum.

[David Spade]

Nope. Unum.

[Dana Carvey]

Nope. No. What? You know what they write on every coin? This is a coin. If you look in really small, this is a coin is on the back.

[David Spade]

When I'm with Lovet and I always drive him crazy because I go, guess where I went. No, guess what I had for dinner last night. And he goes, steak and fries. I go, nope, steak and fries. And he goes, that's what I said. But I'm already ramped up, so I have to say it anyway. But he gets it right. And then I do it all the time to him and he goes, banana. It's a good bit to do on people.

[Dana Carvey]

I have a game with Mark Pitta. Just. We're texting and you do a random thank you when it makes no sense. So. Hey, the 49ers won yesterday. Thank you.

[David Spade]

That's kind of funny.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, we do it a lot, and it. Sometimes it'll go months before you just land a perfect thing. Thank you. Where the does not belong. Try that with your friends.

[David Spade]

I do. I said I drove by a pickle ball court today. You're welcome. I do the.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, there you go. That's.

[David Spade]

You're welcome's funny too.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Yeah. Take credit for things you don't.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I go, I thought you did a little long last night. When I watch you do stand up. You're welcome. It's a criticism they don't want. And then you say you're.

[Dana Carvey]

Who critiques standups in here? I mean, I did.

[David Spade]

I sat last night. It was at the store. It was pretty. I heard. I heard about It. You did. Oh, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

It wasn't pretty, I don't think. Let me read some of the.

[David Spade]

They have good lineups. It was all. It was Eliza Schlesinger, me, Nick Crow, I think. I can't think of the rest.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, did you crush you all?

[David Spade]

Santino.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you crush.

[David Spade]

It was a good crowd last night. They bring them in pretty good.

[Dana Carvey]

That means you crushed because it's pouring.

[David Spade]

So they're like, we're hostages now.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you ever do that with people like, you totally destroy? And they go, good set you kind of. Well, you know, it was a hot audience. Or do you just go, thanks.

[David Spade]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

I go.

[David Spade]

And then afterwards, if they say they were, they were. You didn't do good. I go, yeah, the crowd. I blame the crowd. I blame anything else. All right, let's get to some big.

[Dana Carvey]

Put you in the top 100 standouts.

[David Spade]

Thank you. There we go. Pastor who farts in the faces of his congregation to heal them and cure them is going viral with God's power. Look at how casual he is. Well, who lets you do this, though, Even if you're. I think sometimes in religions, no matter which one they.

[Dana Carvey]

They.

[David Spade]

They do stuff that from the outside, you got to know. But I think this one, I would think was a bit peculiar.

[Dana Carvey]

This is. This is my hot take on this. Hey, Brian. What, Steve? Let's try to think of something that would really trend. Maybe get on fly on the wall. Oh, how about a. A pastor who farts in people's faces to heal them?

[David Spade]

By the way, I don't know how many people get healed. I'm sure it's hovering around 90 to 100%, but it seems like when people fart on people, it's not doing that much good in my.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know where the healing mechanism comes in is it's God's hand.

[David Spade]

It's science mostly, I feel.

[Dana Carvey]

But, yeah, there was this guru show, this guy in Oregon, and he farted a lot and drank and had sex with people and drove a Cadillac or a Rolls Royce. And because it was so wrong, people believed in it. Well, that's how he's like.

[David Spade]

He's a. I know sometimes they get crazy with. They. They go the other way and brag about how much they have.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, he'll eat a Mars candy bar. Just proves that he's just a guru.

[David Spade]

God damn, there's some money flying around. All right, so this is buzzing around. This is the. Sponsored by five, our energy's new cranberry lime flavor. The perfect way to cut through Your holiday food induced coma. Head to your local retailer or www.5hourenergy. That's a good letter. 5.

[Dana Carvey]

I couldn't agree more with what you just said.

[David Spade]

Okay, so I'm gonna give you more names and you're gonna make a scenario and do and be funny. Okay? Ready? Here's your scenario.

[Dana Carvey]

If it's gonna be funny, you can.

[David Spade]

It cannot be. You can do it. Not funny. You used to be driving. Now you're on a spaceship. That's all you get, Mike. And then maybe Trump, maybe Elon, Maybe. And either Travolta.

[Dana Carvey]

Matthew McConaughey.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

If you have Elon. Okay. You know, yeah. On a spaceship.

[David Spade]

Yeah. It's funny already.

[Dana Carvey]

Doesn't have to do anything. This is Shishan. Do you read? Star Starship Red 1, over.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

This is Lieutenant Commander Trump. Lieutenant Commander.

[Dana Carvey]

Excuse me. Sorry, my headphone came out. Excuse me. This is Houston. Aren't you President Trump? Or is that you, President?

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

I'm President Trump. I'm also Lieutenant Commander, and I can fly a ship like you wouldn't believe.

[Dana Carvey]

You can fly?

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

I can fly at iron fast. We're going to Mars. We're going to Mars. We're here with Elon Musk. Elon Musk.

[Dana Carvey]

We're going to Mars.

[David Spade]

Go to Mars.

[Dana Carvey]

We have to go to Mars.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

We have to go to Mars.

[Dana Carvey]

We have to telephone Mars.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

We're going to go to Mars and we're going to terraform it. You heard it. We're going to terraform it. What?

[David Spade]

Where's McConaughey?

[Dana Carvey]

McConaughey. We could cut it.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

Matthew, what do you think?

[David Spade]

All right. Ride, ride.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

And Al goes here. He came along. He's a great friend of mine.

[Dana Carvey]

We've got to go to Mars because Earth is running out of air. It is.

[David Spade]

I heard him say that.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

And of course, we brought Arnold. You got to bring Arnold on these things. He's a tremendous guy. Right?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

We're going to Mars. We're going to find a little stick figure girly, girly Martians. And then we'll pummel them into dust and say, run away, little girly Martians. This is a plan.

[David Spade]

You can break them with a little snap.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Just because they're Martians. They're still girlies. You snap their little brains. They got big heads. They got no doubts. They got no abs, in a word. And nothing. Right, Lieutenant Commander Trump.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

Yes.

[David Spade]

What about when they turn them over and you rub their head on the ground and light them like a match?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

We're gonna have a bonfire and we're Going to roast Martians and eat them marshmallows. Right, Elon?

[David Spade]

We.

[Dana Carvey]

We kind of.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

What he said. What he said, he's a smart cookie. He's a tough cookie. He's a cookie monster.

[David Spade]

This one who's running it is Trump, the captain.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

This is Lieutenant Commander Trump Houston.

[Dana Carvey]

But you're the president.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

I'm the president, but right now I'm lieutenant commander. And many people are saying that I can do it. I can fly a ship like you wouldn't believe. And I know how to do it. And I can still do my accordion hands.

[David Spade]

That was good. That was buzzing.

[Dana Carvey]

All right.

[David Spade]

Yeah, that was buzzing around.

[Dana Carvey]

Cut it together.

[David Spade]

We're not cutting anything out of that. Sponsored by Five Energy's new cranberry lime flavor zest. Up your caffeine game Dana with zero sugar shot to get you through the early morning holiday prep and late night leftovers. With as much caffeine as a premium cup of coffee. Available in stores or online at www.com five hour energy.

[Dana Carvey]

Boom.

[David Spade]

Not four. All right, next story. We'll get right back into the hot news takes.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's get these hot takes going.

[David Spade]

We're like the news. This is the project. Oh, this is an idea of what's going on. Wait, I want to get this guy on. Jeremy Corbell. Hold on. Go ahead. This is when all the aliens are coming and they keep mentioning ships are coming. This is one of the possible plans.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Shows coming. The space show is coming. And this is the last ditch effort. If the electricity goes out, your Internet's out. You go outside, you look up at the stars and then you see this thing. Project Bluebeam. Everything goes just as planned. The big fake space show involving sounds and extremely realistic holograms in the sky. Using this technology from the public. But we know enough about it. Project BL Artisans will create a worldwide celebrity show that mimics second coming of Christ. This is the other part of Project Blue Beam. A lot of people haven't really known about considered that the appearance of religious figures depending on the country in which they're displayed. Blade different holograms will show and be.

[David Spade]

Played in various Buddha pops up. So they're saying whoever you believe in in that country pops up. But I have heard.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, okay.

[David Spade]

That there's an idea that, you know, first of all, Stephen Greer, true or not.

[Dana Carvey]

Right.

[David Spade]

Was the idea what. You know, all these places already have the spaceships. They reverse engineer these Tic Tacs. These are all ours. 90% are ours. But some are real. But some are ours. That's the idea now they're saying they're going to fake us out with some alien invasion to scare everyone. Stay in your homes. For what reason?

[Dana Carvey]

Who's doing this beaming Jesus in the sky?

[David Spade]

I can't tell you.

[Dana Carvey]

Are they saying it's aliens or it's some company that's doing it?

[David Spade]

No, they're saying it would. We have enough of that. We. We can recreate what some of those spaceships could do. So it's us tricking everyone so they can say there's some sort of control aspect is the idea. But this guy, Jeremy Corbell was saying that about a year ago. There's gonna. They're gonna say there's a spaceship coming soon. It's false flag. And then they did say there's a spaceship. Six months later, they go, there's this new Atlas, whatever that means.

[Dana Carvey]

What if the aliens see these beaming things and go, hey, Brian, let's go to Earth now.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

I think we can copy that.

[David Spade]

I know. I believe in the very scary. If they were. If we don't know that we already have this technology and then they use it, we would be like, those are obviously aliens. It's like. You know what it's like, Dana? My dad, when I was four, before he ran off, he said, this is how easily tricked people are. This is a good analogy. He said. We said, let's play monster with the three boys, me, Brian, and Andy. And he said, okay, but you. Davey always gets scared. This is me.

[Dana Carvey]

You being Davey.

[David Spade]

Davey. So he's in the living room, I'm four or five. And he goes, okay, if I play monster, I'm going to pretend I'm a monster, grab you and just wrestle and tickle you, but I'll be on my knees in the living room. And I'm like, sounds like a blast. Yeah. He goes. I go, yeah, it's fun. And he's like, I know, but you don't quite get it. I'm a fake monster. But I'm your dad. I'm like, okay, all right. I go, got it. Go, go, go, go. Let's go. I want to play monster. I'm like, this is boring, what you're saying. He's like, okay, I'm gonna go fake monster. Three, two, one. Hey, guys, I'm a monster. And I go, oh, my God, he's a monster. And he went to grab me, and I barely got away, and I ran to my mom and I said, there's a monster in the living room. And she's cutting carrots. I take the knife I run back and I stab him in the way. And how old are you? Five maybe.

[Dana Carvey]

So you didn't understand. Well, when he said fake monster. And then you've. You were five, but you thought he was a real monster.

[David Spade]

That I once he switched, I was immediately tricked. You went like, yeah. I go, I get it. I get. He goes, I'm a monster. I'm like, wait, what? And then. So I stabbed him. And then he kept the shorts, Bermuda shorts. For years. That blood on them.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, what kind of knife and how deep did it go? I have to ask?

[David Spade]

It went about 12 inches in.

[Dana Carvey]

12 and out the other.

[David Spade]

It was like. No, it was like that long. And I went just enough to bear him go, hey. And then monster time was over and it was spanking time.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, we were. Yeah. To me that sounds like a blast. In our family, my dad would get like a 10 day growth, like really heavy, sharp whiskers, which I think I've mentioned. And he'd look at me that, you know, I had three older brothers. Oh, Dan, you love the whiskers. You love the whiskers. And I'm like, oh, here we go. He just thought, throw you down, get on top. You rub his whiskers into your prepubescent soft, pink skin, four year old face. Oh.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

He said, christ.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh. And you're like drowning in whisker dumb. And then I would take. I reach out and he had a dumbbell because he used to just slip. No, Dana hit his head really hard.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

Blood was.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh.

[David Spade]

Kettlebell.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh. Welcome to our new segment called Childhood Fun.

[David Spade]

Oh, my God. What? You ever get this number? Go pick the belt you'd like.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

To get smacked with.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, yeah, we. There was one belt, but you had multiple belts to pick from.

[David Spade]

Yeah. He's like, anyone, I'll let you pick. And I'm like, and my closet going, which, which one wouldn't. Obviously wouldn't hurt the most, but.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, maybe a cloth one or something.

[David Spade]

Try to get one with no big belt buckle. But when you're getting spanked on the butt, like, it all hurts.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

But wouldn't.

[Dana Carvey]

He would. He. He would fold it and snap it.

[David Spade]

Snap it a few times to.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, like.

[David Spade]

And the other brothers were like, oh, boy.

[Dana Carvey]

Siblings would gather around and you had to grab your ankles and you go, okay, how many? You know, and they were looking down.

[David Spade]

And it would have fallen deaf ears. But maybe I learned my lesson and we go with zero.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. It wasn't that often.

[David Spade]

It was memorable.

[Dana Carvey]

Different time. You know, it was more. It's More of a physical relationship with your parents.

[David Spade]

All right, new, new story.

[Dana Carvey]

Give us a story.

[David Spade]

This is. Show me your completely useless secret talent. Okay, this is I guess five people doing it. I'll. I'll rank them. Okay. Completely useless secret talent. Oh, show your completely useless secret talent. Oh, that's good.

[Dana Carvey]

Wow, that is high pitched.

[David Spade]

And I used to be able to do. That's pretty good. She can laugh at opening her mouth.

[Dana Carvey]

Is that real?

[David Spade]

Show me your completely useless. Go to.

[Dana Carvey]

Disgusting.

[David Spade]

Sickening.

[Dana Carvey]

Is that it? Oh, no. Now it's.

[David Spade]

Oh, she puts her hand backwards. Show me your computer.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

I'll go first.

[David Spade]

Oh, that's a great one.

[Dana Carvey]

God, these real. That's incredible.

[David Spade]

Dude. These are like stupid human tricks. I love that.

[Dana Carvey]

God, she could double join. It was cool.

[David Spade]

She goes like this to pick something up. Then she goes that way.

[Dana Carvey]

Laughing without moving her face at all.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I can watch. Hey, Dana, watch.

[Dana Carvey]

Watch me laugh without moving my face. Horrible.

[David Spade]

Hey, watch it.

[Dana Carvey]

Can you triple whistle? I used to be able to do that. I could triple whistle, but you needed saliva.

[David Spade]

No, the birds in the morning used to be able to do.

[Dana Carvey]

That's good.

[David Spade]

Real quiet birds. No, they're flying away.

[Dana Carvey]

I used to do the old fashioned telephone. That's hard with the tongue.

[David Spade]

That's a really good one.

[Dana Carvey]

No, you can't.

[David Spade]

I cheat. I. Then you do the one. You could try to guess phone numbers by how far it went. Like, that's a nine.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, operator, give me Lionel 44 7.

[David Spade]

I'm not old enough for that. My mom had that.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it was old timey stuff.

[David Spade]

Operator. Okay, next one. Let's see. Stupid human trips are funny.

[Dana Carvey]

Blow my mind in this next one.

[David Spade]

I like.

[Dana Carvey]

That was incredible, the tone of that.

[David Spade]

Yeah. NASA activated its planetary defense protocol. Oh, this is three one Atlas Again, we don't have to talk about it too much, but it says, oh, the funny thing is they said when this comet is coming to Earth, which is real, half the scientists think it's a spaceship because it goes in different directions and whatever. But they said when it gets to the sun and goes around, it will know more and it might cause blackouts. And I remember that day came and they go, it didn't. And I go, of course it didn't. It's not that close. It's like when you say to someone, I'm pulling up. Well, the sun, they were. They were at the sun or they were at Mars. Yeah, they were going around Mars, this comet. And I'm like, that's still kind of far.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, they always Say a comet is going to be a close flyby to the Earth next month, coming within 2,200 million miles.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Of our beloved planet.

[David Spade]

It's gonna pop by a few galaxies first.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you know the odds that the Earth exists?

[David Spade]

It doesn't even exist.

[Dana Carvey]

No, that it exists. That the Earth exists with us little sick little monkeys on the planet. Two trillion to one.

[David Spade]

So we aren't even here.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, the odds that it was a rock and then a little smaller rock hit it and spun around and made the moon. So without the moon, exact size it is, the exact distance it is, we don't exist because there'd be no tides. And then little bits of bacteria became little squiddy things and little fish. And then alligators came out. And then we had, you know, brontosauruses or hippos and horses. And then we had Richard Nixon. I mean, evolution is so like d.

[David Spade]

I like when they find one bone and within three minutes they go, this is 41 million years old. I'm like, shut up, 41. Why? Why do they think it's so exact? You don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

If we didn't have Jupiter where it is way out there, big old fat Jupiter blocking stuff hitting us, we would.

[David Spade]

Jupiter's killing it. Jupiter's our bodyguard. I look at hieroglyphics and I look at things where it looked like aliens and stuff when they years and million years ago. You go, what is going on with these pyramids and how deep they go? I love all that. It's so nuts.

[Dana Carvey]

I do too.

[David Spade]

Remember, no one knows anything.

[Dana Carvey]

We're aliens.

[David Spade]

You are. You're a bacterium.

[Dana Carvey]

You're a. Thank you.

[David Spade]

I remember I met you. You're just a bacteria, and then you're just a bacteria.

[Dana Carvey]

But it's 2 trillion to one that planet Earth exists. So some scientists now are looking at seeding. So in other words, some alien race, or God or whatever you want to call it, came here and sort of created this scenario where they could then seed humans.

[David Spade]

What if they were like, they just pooped on Earth on when they did a flyby, and then we grew out like maggots. That would be a horrible.

[Dana Carvey]

You mean my dream scenario? In that age hundred, we started to metamorphosize into maggots.

[David Spade]

Grandma, you go backwards, you go back into the poop.

[Dana Carvey]

Why?

[David Spade]

All right, maybe we have a new story. This one's getting a little spun.

[Dana Carvey]

It's getting a little spongy.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Give it up for Chicago. Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand up special. It ain't right. Is now Streaming on Hulu. 30 years ago. Jeff Bezos Complete nerd. Bezos now rip to shoot shreds on his super yacht. And the boxes keep coming. Watch Sebastian Maniscalco it ain't right. Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers terms apply.

[David Spade]

You know that feeling when you're doom scrolling? I do. Suddenly an hour has gone by or a day and you feel worse than before. Been there. Lately I've been swapping that habit for something that's actually inspiring and good for you. Masterclass. I started making it part of my mornings listening in audio mode on my way to work. It's a game changer. Listen. You know Amy Poehler? There's an Amy Poehler improv class you can take. It helps you think on your feet and approach challenges with more confidence and creativity. It's good to just have in there plans starting around $10 a month. You know this data. They bill you annually. You get unlimited access to over 200 classes across business, writing, cooking, science and more. What are the lessons like?

[Dana Carvey]

The lessons are bite sized so you can fit learning into even the busiest schedule. And you can download classes to watch offline, which is perfect for travel or squeezing in a quick session anywhere. And it's not just me. Three in four members say they feel inspired every time they watch and 83% have applied what they've learned to their lives. Plus every new membership comes with a 30 day money back guarantee, so there's no risk. Right now our listeners get an additional 15 off at annual [e-mail] fly. That's 15 [e-mail] fly masterclass.com fly your.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Perfect style is more than a fit, it's a feeling. When you step into any Maurices, our stylists are dedicated to helping you find the perfect outfit because there's no better feeling than looking your best. Shop at one of our 800 plus stores or online at maurices.com for new items arriving daily and holiday flash deals. Maurices that styled feeling.

[David Spade]

Okay, okay, wait, Dana, wait. So the Olsen twins are in a new Louis Vuitton ad? Okay, well, let's hope these are true. I okay, because Miley Cyrus one was true.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

When was the last time you saw the Olsen twins?

[David Spade]

I like the scary Mary Kate and Ashley.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Why do I ask? Because they're now featured in a Louis Vuitton ad and they are.

[David Spade]

Would you recognize. Okay, leaving their fans. They always waste too much time in.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

The question what happened to the Olsen twins? If you haven't seen the ad. Take a look at this.

[David Spade]

Well, that looks like the Miley Olsen.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Twins featured in a Louis Vuitton ad. Does that look like the Olsen twins to you?

[David Spade]

That's. Here are a few more. That one looks like they bugged your eyes out.

[Dana Carvey]

I can't get past the guys in the front.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

The Olsen twins, Mary Kate and Ashley. If they didn't see their names listed on the ad, take a look below.

[David Spade]

I don't believe anything when someone speaks to me like that. Well, that guy's too close to camera. Too scary. Music and he also. What did he look like?

[Dana Carvey]

A bird?

[David Spade]

No, I know, it's dramatic. I thought I saw the Gucci ad with Miley, and this is kind of the same thing. If that's a look they're all running with, I mean.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, so it's Photoshopped, right?

[David Spade]

Well, that looks crazy bugged. I don't know if that's makeup or. I don't know if their eyes are like that.

[Dana Carvey]

They look like the twins from the Shining.

[David Spade]

That's what I think they're going for there. Maybe.

[Dana Carvey]

But maybe the two psych psychotic twins in the movie the Shining. Jack Nicholson, Stanley Kubrick.

[David Spade]

Yeah, possibly. The world of modeling. They're not always trying to be pretty. They're, like, trying to make people just shocking or something to talk about. So that one I don't think is real. The first one is. Doesn't really shock me.

[Dana Carvey]

There were rumors that Jamie. Jamie Foxx had been kind of transformed a different person or cloned or something. Right. Wasn't it Cat Williams who said that?

[David Spade]

Brittany. Is Brittany cloned?

[Dana Carvey]

Cat willing. Cat Williams did a thing that. Yeah. That somehow he goes, that's not Jamie Foxx.

[David Spade]

Right. That's not also Brittany. They think possibly. Okay, I'll give you one more story, Dana. Then I gotta get rid of you.

[Dana Carvey]

Look at my. Is that Superman back there?

[David Spade]

Okay, I have to go close my sunroof. It's pouring again.

[Dana Carvey]

Thanks. All right. Hardcore. Dad does fit checks with his kids every morning. Okay.

[David Spade]

Fit checks means. Oh, outfit check.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Fit.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, fit outfits.

[David Spade]

Okay. They look cool. I'm sure they do a whole spin. It's fun. I guarantee you people follow that. Oh, casual kids shorts are kind of nailing it. I wonder if they get beat up for this. I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

It's just.

[David Spade]

She's got a nice new look. Boom.

[Dana Carvey]

It's cute.

[David Spade]

It's cute.

[Dana Carvey]

Is this. Is this lighting up the global web? Or was it. I.

[David Spade]

They always say things are trending, but it means someone goes, I Like, when people announce their last video went viral. My last one went really viral. I'm like, well, you had 25 followers and you got 90 views. That's viral for you. But it didn't really break the intranet.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't. I don't. I don't think we can pull up a picture of it, but I don't know how it's not demoralizing for today's youth when a guy, probably nice guy in the world. We should get him on the podcast. Has jeans that are, like, 12ft long, and he's got a huge following globally. And the only thing he does is have these jeans made that are, like, go way past his body.

[David Spade]

And he's not a real guy, or is that something?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it's a real guy. It's a real article. If you can find that picture, Greg, throw it up, because. Great. David officially doesn't believe me for the first time in the podcast.

[David Spade]

No, I don't believe anything.

[Dana Carvey]

He's called Gene Guy, and he's got millions of followers. He's probably monetizing it. It's called Gene.

[David Spade]

Gene the Dancing Machine from the Gong Show.

[Dana Carvey]

It's in the New York Times. Gotta be true.

[David Spade]

Wake up, Spade.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Okay, let me see if this is worth doing. What does it say? It's something gross.

[Dana Carvey]

What is it?

[David Spade]

Oh, the information is false. White, Thick.

[Dana Carvey]

How to. Oh, it's about lead paint.

[David Spade]

You know anything about lead paint?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I. I think it can be toxic in certain ways. You don't want to put it on your salad.

[David Spade]

All right, let's see what this is.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Have you been down the lead paint rabbit hole? Because it may have been banned for a completely different reason than many things.

Did they really ban lead paint because it was toxic or because it blocked their signals?

[David Spade]

Oh, think about it. Think about it. I'm thinking thick, durable.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Suddenly government decided it was dangerous. But here's what they don't tell you. Lead is a natural shield against radiation and electromagnetic frequencies.

[Dana Carvey]

In other words, radio waves can't penetrate alien intervention.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Then your walls literally acted like armor. No.

[David Spade]

Tv? No. Like, you couldn't. Yeah. You couldn't use your phone.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Anything could pass through.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I see.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

And then write his wireless.

[David Spade]

Well, that kind of makes sense.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Radio, television.

[David Spade]

I'm sure lead isn't great for you, though, but what's the takeaway? Takeaway is it wasn't toxic.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, it wasn't?

[David Spade]

No. They're saying they did it so they could get all these things into your house.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, so it wasn't a Problem. And the government came in and said.

[David Spade]

I'd say I'd rather have my cell phone on than lead fucking walls.

[Dana Carvey]

Absolutely. If I didn't have my cell phone.

[David Spade]

You'D be like this. Here's you. If you don't text for five seconds.

[Dana Carvey]

Quick impression of you. If you can't find your phone, I don't know where it is. What do I do? I must have left it in my car.

[David Spade]

Heather. Heather. Here's me when I accidentally leave my phone in the refrigerator. Where is it? Call it. I do leave it in the fridge a lot.

[Dana Carvey]

Here's you driving. Driving to a restaurant in West Hollywood.

[Lieutenant Commander Trump (Impersonation)]

I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know where it is. I don't know where to go. Heather.

[David Spade]

I couldn't eat my whole dinner if I don't have my phone. Especially if other people are talking to me.

[Dana Carvey]

Driving some kind of giant driving 18 wheeler. Why I ought to pound you.

[David Spade]

That's a bus. Then you open a bus breaks.

[Dana Carvey]

Why don't you sell those sound effects?

[David Spade]

They get me nothing. They get me no value.

[Dana Carvey]

I know someone. There's. They make these little buttons in China. You buy them for like a dollar. They're like this. They're refrigerator magnets. You press on them and it'll give you a recording of something. Like you could. Sorry, this. This is broken.

[David Spade]

You're.

[Dana Carvey]

You could have something like hey buddy or whatever and sell them.

[David Spade]

Here's my. Here's my. Hey, buddy. Pick it up, buddy. Hey, boss. Pick it up, boss. Your phone's ringing, boss.

[Dana Carvey]

In the day of answering machines, I guess you still have outgoing messages. You could tell when someone didn't have a lot going in on in the comedy world when they' going message was better than their comedy act. I met a guy once, he's like, oh, you know, leave a beep kind of thing. Old man beep. He is a coming. Old man beep. He is a coming. And then it would beep. And you knew that guy had nothing going on.

[David Spade]

They used to do a whole album on K tell of of message you could leave. By the way, mine is. I'll tell you right after I plug the tour of davidspay.com coming to your city. Probably not. And here's my. Here's my message. Ready? Here's my answering machine. You've heard it. Okay. Hey, it's ds. Leave me a mess and I'll clean it up.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay? There you go. Well, here's my question. How long did it take you to think of that?

[David Spade]

I actually stole that one but it's still pretty funny.

[Dana Carvey]

Is it?

[David Spade]

All right, Dana, I'm gonna leave, and then you stay on for like an hour, okay?

[Dana Carvey]

I'm gonna do another solo podcast right now.

[David Spade]

Oh, you have another one? A spin off.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Called Fly on the Wall. No guests, no co host.

[David Spade]

It's called Dana don't need no friends.

[Dana Carvey]

It's called Danaland.

[David Spade]

Okay, good. All right, I'll see you next time, guys.

[Dana Carvey]

Next time. We're up 50.

[David Spade]

Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

[Dana Carvey]

If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

[David Spade]

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

[Dana Carvey]

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by.

[David Spade]

Phil Sweettech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

[Dana Carvey]

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.

[David Spade]

Reach out with us. Any questions be asked and answered on the show? You can email us at Fly on the wall [e-mail] that's a U D a C-Y I dot com.