SNL’sThe Reality Show? & Megastars David Met at the Canelo–Crawford Fight

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode Title: SNL’s The Reality Show? & Megastars David Met at the Canelo–Crawford Fight
Release Date: September 22, 2025
Hosts: Dana Carvey, David Spade
Producer: Audacy

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Overview

In this Monday episode, Dana Carvey and David Spade riff on recent pop culture, entertainment news, and personal stories. The comedians delve into the latest shakeups at SNL, the spectacle of the Canelo–Crawford fight in Vegas (with its A-list attendees), hypothetical reality show ideas for SNL, the evolution of comedy careers post-SNL, trends in surveillance and technology, and end with a flurry of banter, impressions, and audience questions.

The usual rapid-fire wit, playful digs at celebrity, and behind-the-scenes comedy lore make for a mix of high-energy laughs and sincere reflection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Bathroom Encounters & Celebrity Life

• [04:02] The duo opens with a hilarious chain of anecdotes about guest bathroom habits and awkward fan encounters.
• Memorable moment: Spade ponders fans waiting outside his bathroom for selfies after shows, comparing it to “being the Beatles coming off Ed Sullivan.”
• Carvey riffs on public restroom etiquette: “I don’t see it as a social situation. Like, time to make friends like you do.” [06:34]

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2. SNL Cast Shakeup & the “Reality Show” Concept

• [09:11] Spade updates listeners about Ego Nwodim’s departure, followed by reflections on how SNL cast exits used to mean uncertainty, but now former cast members have more creative outlets:
  • Carvey: “...it’s okay to do seven or eight years...Now there’s so many ways to continue your career.” [09:44]
  • Spade: “When we left, it was either a TV show or a movie. There wasn’t much in between.” [10:13]
• [12:05] Highlight Spade pitches an SNL behind-the-scenes “reality show,” complete with testimonials, wig selection drama, and the creative tension of sketch selection.
  • “You’re going to catch some drama, some arguments, some tension, and all the chaos that goes behind the scenes…” – Spade [12:23]
• Hosts riff on the wild pressure of read-throughs and the iconic moment when “Lauren’s door cracks,” leading to euphoric or nerve-wracking revelations about which sketches make the cut. [13:44]
• Dana carves out a signature Lauren Michaels impression, regaling listeners with stories of “popcorn juggling” in the writers’ room. [14:07]

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3. Canelo–Crawford Fight Recap & Celebrity Encounters

• [16:52] Spade recounts his spontaneous trip to the Canelo–Crawford fight in Las Vegas, arranged through Netflix.
  • He scrambles for a seat and ends up sandwiched between Charlie Sheen and Michael Irvin—a “random assortment pack” that also included Jeremy Renner and David Zaslav.
  • “I was a last minute add-on, so I’d be the end seat on the row. But who’s next to me? You’ll never guess...” – Spade [20:14]
• Memorable exchange: Charlie Sheen greets Spade with,“This guy has no spatial awareness,” referencing Michael Irvin’s legs taking up too much space. [22:03]
• Spade shares a backstage anecdote about nearly doing a post–Two and a Half Men sitcom with Sheen, which never materialized due to Sheen’s health news. [23:24-24:47]
• Conversation turns to the evolution of HIV treatment and living publicly with health news—“Magic Johnson was sort of the poster child for all that…” – Spade [25:07]
• Carvey and Spade joke about the fight's A-list crowd (“Tyson was there...Jason Statham...the beekeeper…Mr. Beast…”) and the event’s sheer spectacle for Netflix. [26:06-27:55]
• The challenge of “good” seats: even celebrities end up watching on stadium screens versus live action if the angle isn’t perfect. [29:10-29:47]

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4. Comedy Creativity and the “Dickie Roberts” Movie Backstory

• [30:49] The conversation pivots to Spade’s film “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star”:
  • How the original script was almost a dark drama about child stars’ struggles but was spun into a Happy Madison–style comedy.
  • Spade recalls a bittersweet moment with Cory Haim: “He goes, ‘got a hundred bucks or something? I could just go get lunch.’ And I fucking did it...was that dumb of me?” [32:20-33:32]
• Reflection on fame, fortune, and what happens when celebrity status fades:
  • Carvey: “[It’s] besides a potential drug thing, is that child actors sometimes get a lot of money when they’re young, and then, you know, they go broke.” [33:36]
• Speculation about lost child stars, the burdens of fame, and why Corey Feldman’s warnings are worth a second look. [34:47]

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5. Current Events & Tech: Mars, Civil War Bets, Biometric Banking, and Spy Drones

• [41:54] Spade introduces a news headline: A 23-year-old woman is planning a one-way trip to Mars.
  • Carvey riffs in sci-fi mode: “We have to go to malls [Mars]. All go to malls. Terraform it…an environment where you walk around without a space suit...” [42:29-43:11]
  • The hosts descend into a deadpan thread about putting a Howard Johnson’s on the Moon, building condos, and “making it like every city in America.” [43:22-43:46]
• [44:07] The pair reacts to a bizarre Vegas “civil war” betting market:
  • Carvey distinguishes between America’s cold civil war (ideological) and hot civil war (“do we get uniforms and start marching around?”). [45:20]
• [46:13] Vietnam’s digital banking & biometric ID crackdowns become fodder for a debate on surveillance, privacy, and the risks of digital-only wealth.
  • Carvey: “There are no solutions, there’s only trade-offs.” [47:25]
  • Spade: “Do we even have money? ...If your bank doesn’t agree with you, they could just stop you from getting in your bank.” [47:55]
  • The tech debate blends into speculation about losing all your electronic assets overnight—a potential movie pitch. [48:45]
• [51:23] They marvel at a new Chinese mosquito-sized surveillance drone:
  • “Everything is getting tinier…eventually it’ll just look like dust in the air.” – Carvey [52:08]

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6. Closing Banter, Audience Questions, and Classic Whistling Bits

• [52:57] Wrap-up features an imaginary retreat to a Wi-Fi-free cabin, references to “Laserdisc,” and absurdist sitcom pitches.
• [53:22] Dana offers to whistle any song; the duo riff on Garth (Wayne’s World) and end with musical goofs.
• [54:45] A warm wind-down, reminding listeners to “keep your eyes peeled”—Charlie Sheen is set to appear soon.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On SNL departures:
  • “There’s so many ways to continue your career...it’s okay.” – Dana Carvey [09:44]
• On sketch selection at SNL:
  • “We’d be hanging out, talking to Alice or Aaron…when the door cracks, you go like that because you can’t see the wall with all the cards…” – Spade [13:44]
• On celebrity fandom:
  • “They follow you home, they follow you to the bathroom. You’re like the Beatles coming off for Ed.” – Carvey [05:52]
• At the fight:
  • “This guy has no spatial awareness…” – Charlie Sheen, as quoted by Spade [22:03]
• On losing digital wealth:
  • “Do we even have money?…used to be cash...now if your bank doesn’t agree with you, they could just stop you…” – Spade [47:55]
• On future tech and surveillance:
  • “Everything is getting tinier…eventually, it'll just look like dust in the air…” – Carvey [52:08]
• Historical perspective on comedy:
  • “...if we were jesters in south of France, we’d just get paid in beans and with beatings.” – Carvey [50:22]

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Timestamps of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Content | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:02 | Bathroom encounters & fame | | 09:11 | SNL cast departures, Ego Nwodim news | | 12:05 | SNL reality show idea | | 16:52 | Canelo–Crawford Fight, fight seat scramble | | 20:14 | Charlie Sheen/Michael Irvin seating mix-up | | 23:24 | Backstage Charlie Sheen–Spade TV pitch | | 30:49 | “Dickie Roberts” film, child star struggles | | 41:54 | Mars one-way mission, sci-fi riffs | | 44:07 | Vegas “civil war” wager, state of national discourse | | 46:13 | Vietnam’s biometric bank crackdown, privacy trade-offs | | 51:23 | Surveillance drones—China’s mosquito spy tech | | 53:22 | Musical closing, “whistle any tune” joke | | 54:45 | Episode wind-down, next week tease |

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Tone & Style

• Language & Tone: Whimsical, irreverent, inside-comedy and self-deprecating. Banter oscillates between sharp satirical takes (“If you like to do it publicly, you have an issue” [09:04]) and reflective (“Being born in America when I did…what if we were jesters?” [49:59]).
• Impressions: Carvey delivers a rapid-fire parade of impressions—Lauren Michaels, Donald Trump, royal family members—sometimes in surreal dialogue with Spade.
• Audience Engagement: Regular reminders for listeners to send in questions, subscribe, and tune in next week for special guests.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a prime slice of Carvey and Spade’s chemistry: industry insights, mishap-laden celebrity tales, wild news items recast as comedy bits, and measured reflection on the ever-shifting landscape of showbiz and fame. SNL lifers and pop culture fans will appreciate behind-the-scenes lore, while the casual listener will find the hosts’ riffing and impressions endlessly entertaining.

Next week: Potential guest appearance by Charlie Sheen, more comedy, and unpredictable stories from “behind the curtain” of showbiz.

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Transcript

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

That's forkful meals.com code pod50. Your fridge will thank you and so will your stomach.

[David Spade]

Cachava is one of our sponsors and this is sort of a drink. You get a lot of benefits, a lot of protein, a lot of everything. A lot of animal protein. Yeah, I drink cachava. I wasn't aware of it. They sent it to me and now, you know, during my day, I am on the go. I don't have to tell you.

[Dana Carvey]

You do. You're. You're always busy and you need. You need sustenance, you need nutrition, you need protein.

[David Spade]

I'm gonna blow away. I.

[Dana Carvey]

So I. Dandelion.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I'm a little dandelion. I've lost about three pounds. I didn't, I didn't mean to, but I'm trying to put it back and just rock hard muscle.

[Dana Carvey]

So good plan.

[David Spade]

Cachava has a lot of flavors. They have a new strawberry flavor, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Strawberry.

[David Spade]

It's got real strawberry and it's got real benefits. You know, the strawberry is great. I am old school and do chocolate. What I do is I chocolate. I put a little spoonful of almond butter. Yeah. And not even a full banana. I don't want it too sweet. I want to cheat. You don't want everything tasting like candy, you know what I mean?

[Dana Carvey]

No. Chai is always an interesting kind of flavor. I find shy because it's spicy and kind of sweet, you know, I mean, you just have to try it, you know, you got your matcha and your coconut acai. I now pronounce that properly.

[David Spade]

I call it aka 25 grams of plant protein.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Antioxidants. And got all the good stuff.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, all good stuff. Oh.

[David Spade]

So, you know, you get it. And it keeps me kind of full, you know? So I say, like, super full. But I'm saying good, good one. When I go along, and I usually have to eat all the time, and I'm like, I haven't eaten for a while, so that's good. It doesn't. I don't get all shaky, so I keep my eye on it. But I gave my brother one of them because he wanted it. So now I got him hooked on it. So I think we. It's got, you know, it's got 6 grams of fiber and good for mind and body.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a comprehensive all in one meal. I mean, think protein shake, meal replacement, greens, plus veggies, vitamins and minerals, you know, so it's like, what guiltless thing.

[David Spade]

Where you go, I'm hungry. I don't want to just eat some trash. Garbage.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. See, something healthy like this. And then it just smooths you out, calms you down. And you don't have to. You're not, like, all jittery, and you're just calm.

[David Spade]

You've never tasted strawberry like this. So go to kachava.com, use code fly for 15 off your order. That's Kachava K A C-H-A-V-A.com code fly for 15 off. Okay, Dana, let's start with a freaking bang. Here we go. I got. Can't believe it's happening today.

[Dana Carvey]

You he, ho he.

[David Spade]

What is happening? Literally anything.

[Dana Carvey]

What's going on? I'm raining. Maybe everything I want to say.

[David Spade]

Raining. That'll really get viewers. That's real clickable. No, what can I tell you? Just quickly about. Oh, we had a funny story about a guest. We had recently had a driver come to my house. We don't always do them in the studio here, but this unknown guest had a driver, said, can I use your potty? And so we let him in, and 28 minutes later, he came out.

[Dana Carvey]

Wow.

[David Spade]

Maybe he's doing sudoku.

[Dana Carvey]

That's.

[David Spade]

I mean, what do you do? Then he comes out like this. That's hard.

[Dana Carvey]

Excuse me, but what were you doing in there?

[David Spade]

Excuse me.

[Dana Carvey]

I do a. I do a. Garth. Excuse me. I'd like to get some information about what you were doing in there.

[David Spade]

I saw something seeping out from under the door. I didn't know what it was. It was just smoke. I thought, you know, I. Have you ever had this actually When I'm on the road. We were talking about this. When you go to a restaurant and if people know you're there, one of the challenges is they follow you to the bathroom to get a picture and. And then nicely, they wait. But if it's that one in a million, when you're in there for 45 minutes, you come out and they're asleep on the wall. They wake up. Oh, they get up off the carpet.

[Dana Carvey]

Hey.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I forget, wait, why was I here? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so blurry. I fell asleep. Oh, right. You were going to run into the bathroom and I was going to take a picture and I'm like, oh, I'm here.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't get that kind of fan attention. I mean, they follow you home, they follow you to the bathroom. Where aren't they following you? You're. You're like the Beatles coming off for Ed side in the back.

[David Spade]

I think in restaurants it's, it's unusually common to follow you there and then.

[Dana Carvey]

Just to be in, wait outside or.

[David Spade]

Pee next to you and just go, I thought it was you. And I'm like, will you hold this while we take a selfie? They're like, oh, you're wiener. Okay, let me just try to hang on. Okay, let me just grab that.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. Some people like to have a. Have heavy, cool, fun, informative conversations. At a male urinal.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

In a public restroom. But a lot. For me, it's not like a. I don't see it as a social situation. Like time to make friends like you do.

[David Spade]

Time to get to know your meet people. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

You hang out in the bathroom. There are people who just hang out. I don't know if you've ever been at a gym. In the locker room there, usually it was guys, older guys would just strip naked and then just walk around. They had no one. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do. You just did not want to bump into them.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I mean, I've got a guy in the gym, fully naked, leg up on the bench with a blow dryer, drying up, trying his nutsack on. Any new movies I do, the one I don't like is going to a baseball game. And there's the urinal trough.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know what that is. That feels kind of like just a primitive game. Like you're. You're in some kind of club that urinates together. There's no demarcation, there's no splash guard. There's no privacy, no privacy door. There's no 300 guys doing their business, laughing.

[David Spade]

And there's guys on the other side of the troughs here, all peeing in it sometimes. I've been in all kinds of troughs. I used to design troughs.

[Dana Carvey]

And some people, some they finish peeing and then they just stand there and hang out.

[David Spade]

Hang out.

[Dana Carvey]

And they go, what's up? What's up? How do you think the game's going?

[Heather Santoro]

This is usually.

[Dana Carvey]

It's sporting events. It's for expediency. You can't go the individual. Guess what? This is kind of a fun fact. I was in London once.

[David Spade]

Go ahead.

[Dana Carvey]

Went to a play in London.

[David Spade]

Oh.

[Dana Carvey]

And I thought, you know, that, that. And they're up there. It's a real breeze, kind of. Oh, I don't know about you. I'll shoot you in the head if you say that again. Anyway, during the intermission, go to the bathroom. They have lined up on both sides of the wall, 25 urinals on one side, 25 on the other.

[David Spade]

What do you do, just go to the one that has more guys?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, most people drink alcohol and want to do that. I know. This is like our first biologic beginning.

[David Spade]

It's our first five minutes.

[Dana Carvey]

So they only have two stalls and 40 urinals because they know, generally speaking, people have done the other thing before. They can. Yes.

[David Spade]

People don't like to do it in public. No one likes to do it in public. It's just a matter of emergency.

[Dana Carvey]

And if you do like to do it publicly, you have an issue.

[David Spade]

Yeah, there's a problem.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it's a problem. So I'm glad we got this.

[David Spade]

I don't know how you got on this topic. I will say, since just in brief SNL news, our friend Ego had left, and that was sort of. That bomb dropped right after. There was a wave of people leaving. And she sort of waited a beat, probably sussed out the situation and said, you know what? There's new people. Maybe it's time for me to go. She had a good run. Yeah, good on it.

[Dana Carvey]

She's really just charismatic, a star. Incredibly sweet.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Super talented. And, you know, now that I've had a few days after our hot take on the SNL shake up. Yeah, it's okay to do seven or eight years because it's not like leaving an 89 or 90 or something. There are so many live streamings, there's so many do it yourself on YouTube. There's films. I mean, yeah, there's so many ways to continue your career. And Heidi Gardner would be an Example of one of them. And a lot of these cast members, it's. It's okay.

[David Spade]

You know, there's a lot more going on. I mean, I. When we left, it was either a TV show or a movie. There wasn't much in between. There was not much else that you could stay busy at. Even standup, a touring standup did not make the money that people do now. Not even close.

[Dana Carvey]

Not like that.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it was like, to make a living, you could go on the road a lot and just. Yeah. Not break even. You'd make some beans.

[Dana Carvey]

But I mean, probably the greatest example is I think Ben Stiller did six months or something.

[David Spade]

I think he had a quick run. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And then he's been Stiller. So enough said. I. And you know, Jim Carrey audition? Nah, I don't think so.

[David Spade]

You know, Shane Gillis did approximately zero.

[Dana Carvey]

Shane Gillis, you take your talent and.

[Heather Santoro]

Get out of here.

[Dana Carvey]

No, that Lord didn't say that.

[David Spade]

He called him. Did you land? You get your hotel? Yes. Okay. Order some soup and then you have to go. You have a hard out at noon.

[Dana Carvey]

That. That being said, the four people coming in in such a different circumstance in 2025, I just, I root for them.

[David Spade]

And I think, welcome to the jungle.

[Heather Santoro]

Welcome to the jungle.

[Dana Carvey]

You gonna Bono?

[David Spade]

It's like Gladiator. Are you not entertained?

[Dana Carvey]

I know I've always said that. I mean, there's three lanes of Saturday Night Live. One of the funny people doing sketches making you laugh. The other lane is seeing a football player or a film star, actress or actor try to do sketch comedy for hour. And the third lane is seeing someone you know that's brand new to sketch comedy, brand new to Saturday Night Live, attempting to go out there and land it and be relaxed when you've got 20 cast members. So it's quite a reality show. And how long will Lauren stay?

[David Spade]

I wish they would do a show where they did behind the scenes of the week. And so like a reality show, Heidi would come off a sketch, go in a room, do a testimonial or at rehearsal. How'd it go? Where do you think your chances are with the sketch? You're going to wigs. Which wig do you pick? How do you pick it and do all that? And then you're going to catch some. Some drama, some arguments, some tension, and all the chaos that goes behind the scenes. Even just during the week, right before the show, there's a lot going on.

[Dana Carvey]

Have they ever done one show like that?

[David Spade]

Sweating it out after, read through, waiting like Everyone hanging out by the door like little bees going, not only figured out yet. Can we go in there?

[Dana Carvey]

The most high pressured week of your life. You've got a behind the scenes camera in your face.

[David Spade]

Make it harder, man. But then people start liking you based on that on top of sketches. Or they like different people the way they handle the week. Like, we would wait outside Lauren's door. Now we do read through. They all walk in there. Downey, Franken, Smigel, host, Lauren, they're going to pick all the sketches. We'd be hanging out, talking to Alice or Aaron, going, so what's going on? Like, no reason to be there. So. And then when the door cracks, you go like that because you can't see the wall with all the cards and what they're picking up. But they're like, and what did you think about Slam? And you go, and then they'll say, can you send the Turners in? Which are writers. Can you send Smile? Can you send this writer in? And you go, oh, they're talking about that sketch. Oh, they're considering it. That's a little nugget of information.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. Well, I would always go up there and they'd say, Laurenson. And I would just go in. I go, I'm just going to go in.

[David Spade]

Never in a trillion years.

[Dana Carvey]

So then Lauren and I would hang out and discuss the cast and the show and what do you think of this person and that person.

[David Spade]

You take popcorn and go like this in the back room. And then Lauren would put up this sketch and you go, I wouldn't. And they go, you don't like doing.

[Dana Carvey]

Lauren only did it in front of me. Dana, I don't like to do this because it's a distraction, but he would take three or four kernels of popcorn and juggle them and then eat them. Oh, watch, Dana. And I blow it up. And it's the way I do it when no one's looking.

[David Spade]

He would take popcorn and put it in each cheek and go, I'm like Marlon Brando.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, that's why he would turn around and then he would stick one kernel of on each tooth and he'd come back and go, dana, I'm a scary monster.

[David Spade]

He doesn't do an impression.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, I'm a scary monster. And he had popcorn teeth. It was hysterical.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it was so funny. I would laugh every time.

[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

Oh, I also went to a fight this weekend. I went to the Canelo Kai you get.

[Dana Carvey]

Your life is so cool. I didn't get the new memo. I don't know. You could just go there.

[David Spade]

No, I stupidly was in Vegas with Nikki Glaser about a week ago and I got an invite to go to it. And I go, I don't think I can go because it's my only weekend off and I was going to do some things and then I was like, oh my God. Because I didn't want to come right back to Vegas and then I got to go right back to Chicago. So I go, well. And then I go, oh, this is going to be such a big fight. And it did. A football stadium. I go, I got to try it. So here I am scraping and scratching my invite back, which was some tough texting.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. Because then they. You were. So two days ago and they've already filled in the seats.

[David Spade]

Yep.

[Dana Carvey]

So. Because I didn't see you on the movie Star Cam. Nope, I didn't see you. Were you in the nosebleeds or halfway down the nosebleeds?

[David Spade]

It wasn't nosebleeds. It was. I didn't get an answer right when I said, hey, good news. And I put in parentheses for you, I can go. And I said, so if there's any. Because Netflix was doing it. So I said, if. If there's any room.

[Dana Carvey]

Sarandos, your buddy, there's any room, let me know.

[David Spade]

And then about four days later, I said, listen, if my seat got taken from someone from the summer I turned pretty. It's okay. I understand how it works over there. And then nothing. And then it was so cringy.

[Dana Carvey]

And then just you or you plus one.

[David Spade]

Just me saying I was just gonna go. I didn't know it was such a big event. I honestly thought. It's like when a couple people go to a fight and they get four seats together. Hey. So the night before they're like, hey, are you going or you can't go or what's the latest? I go. I could. It's tomorrow. I was just going to go watch it. No, no, no. Get out here. Let's go. So I went out late. 5:30. Go, go straight to the fight. And it's like all these well known people there, I mean, they really Netflix. It was Netflix. I didn't realize that either. Before that. So there. It's 68,000 people. The most people had a fight.

[Dana Carvey]

I thought it was 71, but it broke the record.

[David Spade]

No, I counted. I counted. I was at the top step. Stop chairing.

[Dana Carvey]

I got, I got. I got sources.

[David Spade]

You do.

[Dana Carvey]

Anyway, it was a huge fight because Canelo is a Mexican fighter with, with red hair. He's cool. He's. He's an all time great. Versus Crawford. Crawford came up £14. You didn't know. Canelo's really got.

[David Spade]

I love you didn't know.

[Dana Carvey]

He.

[David Spade]

Canelo strong. You didn't know. He.

[Dana Carvey]

He had a good left and a bob and an inside. He could do the, the shell thing. This defense, you know the Tyson, he does combos.

[David Spade]

You didn't know.

[Dana Carvey]

You didn't know. There's so much you don't know. You go to a sporting event. Look at her. She's cute. Could I get some popcorn?

[David Spade]

I'm at a football game. Oh, wait, why are people boxing?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you. You're not into the fight. You don't have a scorecard?

[David Spade]

I don't know what you don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

You're just.

[David Spade]

What about Canelo? Only fights on Mexican holidays. Cinco de Mayo. And this was a holiday weekend. And everybody came out because they would boo Crawford when they showed him in the green room. I called the green.

[Dana Carvey]

I did. I did not know that.

[David Spade]

I didn't know that. And so they. So I still had good seats, but I wasn't actually. They walk me down and everyone I flew with out there has the great seats and they're like. I'm like, oh, that's right. I was a last minute add on, so I'd be end seat on a row. But who's next to me? You'll never guess. He has a big documentary out now and he's on the show in about two.

[Dana Carvey]

Charlie Sheen.

[David Spade]

Charlie Sheen, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Chuck is next to you.

[David Spade]

Yeah. And the funniest part was, you know, we're all jammed in like sardines. And it's Charlie Sheen, Michael Irvin, to keep it weird. He's great football player.

[Dana Carvey]

I want an assortment pack.

[David Spade]

Yeah. And then be in front of me. Mars John lynch, whose head is maybe this big because I can't see.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, he.

[David Spade]

He. Yeah, he was large.

[Dana Carvey]

Something else. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Funny guy, though.

[Dana Carvey]

He's, you know, bigger than average.

[David Spade]

You big, me small. Can't see. Fight.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Don't like to be punched in the face.

[David Spade]

Maybe put dreadlocks on the topic.

[Dana Carvey]

No, you're a wonderful footballer. Oh, you're a beautiful giant digits. Suppressing my office.

[David Spade]

Jeremy Renner. List goes on. Blah, blah, blah. David Zaslav, of all people.

[Dana Carvey]

You're kidding.

[David Spade]

Power. Power broker. Big, big, big. And then Ted Chappelle, Charlize. It's just all the way down. Great time, great people. Nowhere near me. So I am sitting with Charlie, and the first thing I see is Michael Urban has got his legs over, talking behind himself because there's people behind us, right? So he's talking and Charlie's like this. So I walk up and they go right here. And I go, charlie. Oh. And he goes, hey, all right.

[Dana Carvey]

Are you sitting here?

[David Spade]

I go, yeah. And he stands up and he goes, this guy has no spatial awareness. What the funny thing to say right off the bat, I go, oh, is that Michael Urban? He goes, yeah, his. His legs are on my legs. I'm like, well, I know. He'll. We'll figure it out. Fight hasn't even. We're on the fight before the big fight. Of course, I come a little late, so here we go.

[Dana Carvey]

You're lucky. Say, hey, this guy's in my space.

[Heather Santoro]

Would you mind beating him up for me?

[David Spade]

Say something.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you're. You're witty. You could put him down.

[Heather Santoro]

Go ahead.

[David Spade]

He goes, I like. It's me and you over here. I know Charlie in passing. Like, you think maybe I know more. I don't know him. There was a time that my. I worked on Rules of Engagement. Oh, my God. A couple people remember. Thank you. And Rules of Engagement. The head writer creator was Tom Hertz. Good guy. He came off of Two and a Half Men to do our show. So when Charlie's going through it, which you're. We're both going to see the documentary by the time he comes on. But when he's going through the craziness, which we know a lot of, not all of, just from reading the paper, right? So he's fighting with les Moonves at CBS, and it is bad. $100 million lawsuit, whatever it was, he was.

[Dana Carvey]

Charlie was making so much money, $2 million an episode.

[David Spade]

Sickening. And then he was not coming to work, and they were. And I'm like, oh, my God, is he going to lose this job? So I think Les just says, I've had it with you. You're off. And everyone's like, wow, are they going to continue without him? So I see Tom Hertz and he goes, listen, is there any way. Because our show had just finished. Is there a world where you would do a show with Charlie? And I said, well. He said, for cbs. I go, well, I sound like Charlie. I don't see Les Moonves loving this idea. I think this is a dead end. And he goes, no, I already talked to him.

[Dana Carvey]

I was like, wow, wow.

[David Spade]

Because Les. He goes, les knows what's going to get big ratings. I was like, that is crazy if Charlie came back. So I see Charlie maybe a week later, and I walk by him at this hotel, and I go, oh, hey, man, how you doing? He goes, hey. And he goes, hey, have you heard a little secret rumor about us? And I go, I did. And he goes, that could be fun. And I go, yeah, I guess we're going to hear about it. He goes, okay. So that was it. Three days later, some health news comes out about Charlie, and it sort of stopped it.

[Dana Carvey]

And it took the wind out of everything.

[David Spade]

Took a little wind out of the sales. Yeah. And I hope. That being said, I think if it was hiv, I think there's way more people Living with that right now than before. So yeah, you could treat it. And obviously Magic Johnson was sort of the poster child for all that. Like.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And he's doing fine. So I don't know. He's doing fine. He's out there doing his life.

[Dana Carvey]

And oh no, they, they can make the virus. It's just essentially diminished, imperceptible. You're not contagious, you're not symptomatic. So what, what happened? The tragedy of before this. But Michael, magic came out. The technology was just there in a medicinal way. It was newer and here he is.

[David Spade]

But you know, I think it's. It sounds scary to people. So it's. It's probably less. There's probably way more going on.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you don't want to get it, but they have antiviral, you know, medications that.

[David Spade]

Sure.

[Dana Carvey]

It's not a decent.

[David Spade]

Now if there was a medication to keep you away, that would be interesting.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I'm from. I'm remote right now. I wanted to be in the studio. And you have it in your contract. I got.

[David Spade]

You can only do three a year.

[Dana Carvey]

At least. I got to have two days away from that guy because he won't shut up about how big the church lady was.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Not shut his mouth.

[David Spade]

I have to say, Charlie was excited to come on and he knew I'm coming on soon on your show. And he said, I. I don't think I met Dana. And I said, Dana's happy to have. He's excited. He was. He liked that everyone's a fan of you. So we talked some people there. Tyson was there. Of course. You just know those fights are jam packed. And there was a. The guy that put the money for the fight, the promoter was from Saudi Arabia. I think he's also doing this new fanatics like football money. He is throwing money around. You know, there's doing the comedy festival. I don't know if that's him, but they were telling me this guy and he had ringside, like here's us on this corner, here's this ring. And he's there with Jason Statham, the beekeeper, the beaky. I keep the base. Don't touch my bees.

[Dana Carvey]

So I'm just doing you now.

[David Spade]

If I catch you, you're going to get stung. Oh, isn't that a bee, though? Aren't you the keeper? If I sting you, you're going to die. Oh, that's a bee again. And then the bee dies. The person doesn't die. So are you the person that dies? If you're the bee in this situation. Oh, wait a second. Wait a second. Oh, let me think about it. So he was.

[Dana Carvey]

Got a new movie out called the Working Man. Give me him and Working man his.

[David Spade]

Oh, I'm the working. And if you mess with me, I'm gonna work your face into a bloody pulp.

[Dana Carvey]

You sound like Hans and Franz.

[David Spade]

I don't know what I sound like. I got too far into that one. I couldn't get out.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, you were. You were just you. David. David disappeared.

[David Spade]

I'm back, by the way.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, thank you.

[David Spade]

Scary Jason Statham with Mr.

[Dana Carvey]

Beast.

[David Spade]

What a random assortment. Mr. Beast, Jason Statham, Dana White, and this Saudi. I think his name is Muhammad Al Turkey, I think so. He's there. Anyway, he's wandering around, saying hi to people I don't know, but I think he gave Canelo 100 million to that. Oh, my God. Whoa. That's nothing for you, for me, for a working man, for working stiff, you.

[Dana Carvey]

Know what I mean? He got punched in the face pretty hard many, many times.

[David Spade]

This is Alvarez you're talking about.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, yeah, Canelo. Canelo, you know, he. He's. He's. He's tough as nails, but, yeah, Crawford really smacked him around a little bit.

[David Spade]

Yeah. You know, our ringside wasn't the UFC ringside or regular boxing, where it's pulled back. It was cameras. It was some other things, but it was really like. Because it's the football stadium. We were back about 50ft. I was behind the front row. But even being that close, you're still. We were laughing about this. How many times do you go up to the big screen and look? Because it's just a little better and easier to see because I'm looking through ropes. You know, it's a little different.

[Dana Carvey]

There is a catch type thing where there's a certain point you're going to pretty much watch the screen.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Unless you have a perfect kind of view.

[David Spade]

Yeah. We were talking about this on the way there. Like, how far back at a concert, how far back you want? Because everyone agreed if you're going to blow money, concerts, sport events are fun to blow, to sit closer. Because when you get to the point where you're only watching the screen, my eyes aren't that good from far away, so I do that. And I'm like, fuck. Because I like. Obviously, everybody wants to be up close.

[Dana Carvey]

If you can afford it, go up close. But I'm sure. And the inflationary aspect of America today and everything, you have to get used to it.

[David Spade]

Well, a regular ticket is Bazzuz. There's to. To just get in that room was probably expensive and also. But it really was, I think, a big hit for Netflix because the fight turned out to be. It started a little slow and then I started to see Canelo looking a little beat up. His face was red. I'm like, wait a second. Because he was the favorite, I think.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, maybe early on his face was red because a little starstruck. He got a peek of you. He saw me and blushed. I know he got hit later, but I think it was early on. He looked over in the first round. If I'm where. I'm thinking where you are, where I think you are. I think he saw you. He's a huge fan of Dicky Roberts and he blushed and then picked out Dicky Roberts. I know. I don't know why that's probably. I should watch that movie again. Why does it get beat up by us?

[David Spade]

It's not a great, great little comedy. Chris Rock's favorite spade movie, Dickie Roberts. So he.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, it's a great idea.

[David Spade]

I love that he says that because I do like Dicky Roberts. I. I think it was not to get off my boring fight story, but.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it's.

[David Spade]

It was a good idea. It was still funny, but just the idea is almost bigger. You can't keep up with the idea of former child stars because I talked to a pretty big director early on that wanted to do it, and he said I would dismantle it after the first act and make it really tragic. And I said, I just. I don't think Paramount wants that.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't think that's the brand of you at the time.

[David Spade]

Or Happy Madison.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you're going to go for a tragedy that's a whole different. Different movie.

[David Spade]

I said, that's a good movie. And that's. That's a movie that really makes sense. We're trying to spin it and make it more fun.

[Dana Carvey]

So, I mean, you could like, you could mic drop in the end of the third act with some pathos or some emotion, but not dark.

[David Spade]

You know, it's funny because we had one scene where we all sang together for some. That Smigel wrote a song. How funny. Fred Wolf, he loves Smigel. And we had them all in for one day. And it was Corey Haim and some Brady Bunch. And we really grabbed you. A couple people said, no, they don't want to be associated anymore. Like, I think Gary Coleman wouldn't do it, but we had Webster. We had a lot of fun People. And you get to see that some of them have. Have had a rough time.

[Dana Carvey]

So they were Dickie Roberts peers.

[David Spade]

Corey Haim. Yeah, Remember him? He's Corey Feldman's buddy. And yeah, super sweet. Walking to lunch from the soundstage of singing, and I'm in my outfit, and he goes, hey, hey, thanks for having me. Hey. So we go to lunch now. We got an hour. I go, yeah, this is roughly the conversation. I said, yeah. And he goes, hey, I was going to go off campus and eat. I said, I think you can. And he goes, do we get a per diem for today? And I go, I don't know, maybe. And he goes, do I get that? Can you give me that? I go, I don't think I'm the one that gives you your per diem. And he goes, but I need some because I want to go get lunch. And he goes, you got a hundred bucks or something? I could just go get lunch. And I fucking did it. I felt so weird because now we're at my trailer, and he goes, if you have anything, just. And I had some money, so I gave him like 50, 100 bucks and said, yeah, okay. And. And then later, I. I swear at the time, it didn't even hit me that he might go use or something. And he probably didn't, but I was like, was that stupid? Was that dumb of me?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, in the end of the day, what are you gonna do? I mean, that. It.

[Heather Santoro]

It.

[Dana Carvey]

The premise would be, besides a potential drug thing, is that child actors sometimes get a lot of money when they're young, and then, you know, they go broke. Yeah, I mean, you know, whatever.

[David Spade]

Yeah. The parents, a lot of the time, not all the time, a lot of times the parents are like, spending the money. Obviously, they're like, hey, it's. You're my kid, it's my money. And then when they're 18, they're like, give me that back up that banks truck. And they're like, the thing is, there's not a ton left. And. And at that point, he was older, but he was still a star, you know, because Dickie Roberts was a while ago, and he was a super nice kid and, you know, tough ending, so. And that's why Corey Feldman's out there going, hey. He's out there going, we're have. We had a tough time. Like, they always treat Corey Feldman, who we should have on sometimes, because he's a very interesting guy. It's one of those ones you look back on one day and go, maybe he had something to say. That we weren't listening to, you know, because he had a. Yeah, he said it was rough and the child star thing. So anyway, long story short, Dickie Roberts could have been darker. It had way a little piece of. But it wasn't obviously.

[Dana Carvey]

One of the stories I saw this week that I thought was funny was just the idea of Trump in England with. With King Charles.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Because Trump's bedside manner or bluntless, blunt.

[David Spade]

Are they used to his bluntness?

[Heather Santoro]

Are they used to it? King Charles, he's a king now. He was a prince, now he's a king. With Camilla Parker Bowles. You know, he, he loved her very much. Camilla Parker Bowles, that's what they called her now she's a princess. She's a princess Bowles. You know, he said he was talking to on the phone, he wanted to live in her pants. She wanted to live in her pants. You remember that?

[Dana Carvey]

And he's. He and King Charles is there and everyone's there. He's giving her speech.

[David Spade]

He's giving before dinner.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Heather Santoro]

And I saw the people, I saw, they call them the black hatted red coats, you know, the big tall. They're 18 inches high. Those guys. They don't talk much. They don't have much to say, quite frankly. You look at them, they're hot. The hats don't work. If a grenade goes toward them, it's.

[Dana Carvey]

Not going to help them.

[Heather Santoro]

I'm telling you that. And you look at it and you see it and you see the red coats and you see the black hats and the fur, they're made from baskets. Canadian bears, they.

[Dana Carvey]

Baskets, they put them on the head.

[Heather Santoro]

Whose idea was that? But Camilla Pocket Bowles and King Charles. You gotta love London. You love it in Tally Ho.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm Donald Trump.

[David Spade]

I like Intelliho. That was a great run. That's so funny. Ah, yeah, the red coats, people make fun of them, but they can punch it. They fight.

[Dana Carvey]

Laugh, you know, you gotta laugh.

[David Spade]

Trump over there, I just saw a picture and of course, I was telling you, I was hoping he was looking for McDonald's because if he eats McDonald's every day, he must be like jonesing a little bit on these trips.

[Dana Carvey]

He has assistance. He has massive people that.

[Heather Santoro]

Could you give me a Big Mac? Just put it up, put it near the salad. Put a napkin on it. You know, I love this. I love the fish and chips and the cheeseburger. Don't. I love the cheeseburger.

[David Spade]

Is it a filet of fish and chips?

[Dana Carvey]

He's, he's not going to eat the British food. He's going to sneak in stuff.

[David Spade]

What's this dog shit? Yeah. He doesn't want to offend him, though. Kate, very nice. Kate had a, had a scare recently. She bounced right back.

[Heather Santoro]

And William, they got a trouble with Harry. The trouble with Harry, these guys don't like Harry, but now Harry likes him. Harry's the brother. They call him the spare. They call him the spare because in case, you know, whatever the other guy gets killed, he's the spare. He doesn't like being a spare. So he moves to Morcito with Megan Marcus, Meghan Markless, and Harry, Harry Flintstone.

[David Spade]

They're making jellies and jams, but it's not clicking hair I like. He goes, william, losing I from where I'm standing to give this toast, you are losing a lot of your hair. And you know, we always wondered why that's an easy fix. Over in America, you go to, go to Turkey, get it done, you get a lot of more troops up there, and you're right back in the game. Never went gene.

[Heather Santoro]

It's a genetic thing. It's leaving your head. It's leaving your head slowly. You're doing it public. And quite frankly, it's not a good look, it's not a good move. What you got to do is grow one side really long like I do, I'll be honest. And you swirl it around, you swirl it, you tape it, you glue it. And there you are, you're glowing orange on your side of your glowing orange right on your turf upstairs. And you look gorgeous.

[David Spade]

So fucking funny.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know why I'm doing that's so funny.

[David Spade]

Because it's funny. I love it. Dana, what does a confident smile say to you? And maybe more importantly, what does it say about you with Smile Generation? It says you're taking care of more than just your teeth. Because confidence doesn't start and stop at a bright smile. It's about your whole body. Wellness Smile generation reimagines oral health as the gateway to long term confidence. Why? Because oral health issues have been linked to heart disease, diabetes, and even cognitive conditions. When you care for your smile, you're investing in your future. And that confidence, it starts with feeling supported. With smile Generation trusted providers, you're not just another patient, you're a partner.

[Dana Carvey]

They prioritize personal, patient focused care that truly listens to you. Plus, with education and preventive care at the core, Smile generation empowers you to understand the connection between your mouth and overall health so you can stop issues before they start. Here's your chance to take the first step. Smile Generation is offering a $59 new patient special that's a comprehensive exam, cleaning and X rays a $290 value. New patients only offer not valid for Tricare or Medicare Advantage May be covered by insurance, subject to plan restrictions. Booked by December 31, 2025. Visit smilegeneration.com 5 for full terms and to book now. We are supported by Ring. With Ring you can be there from anywhere with doorbells and cameras that help you see more to exciting features that help you know more to the app that lets you connect more see more at the front door, up high and down low with battery doorbells head to toe video capture it all all day and all night with 24. 7 recording and get smarter alerts that know the difference between a person and a package right in the Ring app.

[David Spade]

I've often been mistaken for a small package, and I've also been called a snack. But Ring knows the difference. With Ring, you can check in and be there from anywhere. Some features require a subscription and are available only on select Ring devices. Exclusions apply. Learn [e-mail] you don't need a fly on the wall to get the story on Next level protection for your dogs. In fact, the only thing you need for that is nexguard Plus, a Foxaloner, Moxidectin, and pyrantal chewable tablets. From birthday parties to costumes, social media accounts to puppy vacations, Next level pet owners will do anything for their dogs. And when it comes to their health, that means giving them Next level protection, too. That's why there's nexguard Plus. Choose your one and done solution for monthly protection that kills fleas and ticks, prevents heartworm disease, and treats and controls roundworms and hookworms all in one. Tasty beef flavored soft chew. My dog Junebug loves getting her monthly nexguard plus, making it simple for me to protect her with a delicious chew she always enjoys.

[Dana Carvey]

Nexgard plus packs a whole lot of powerful protection into one tasty chew, making monthly dosing easy and enjoyable for both of you. Use with caution in dogs with a history of seizures or neurologic disorders. Dogs should be tested for existing heartworm infections prior to starting a preventive, so the next time you're at the vet, ask about Next Card plus choose all.

[David Spade]

Right, let's get to some stories. Unless you have any more stories of your life.

[Dana Carvey]

My life? My life's kind of boring compared to you. I wish I watched the fight.

[David Spade]

Fight was close I'm glad it worked out that I got to go. It was very nice of them to take me. Thank you, Netflix. A 23 year old woman is preparing to become the first human on Mars and she's never coming back. Whoa.

[Dana Carvey]

How's that? Does she decide that?

[David Spade]

I mean, what, it's a one way ticket.

[Dana Carvey]

What does Elon Musk say about this?

[David Spade]

The pay is probably really good, but you don't get to come back and spend it. I mean she must be a real trooper to say I just want to go help Earth or something. I mean that's a big ask for me.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I see the. Well look, I, I love science fiction and, and, and Elon Musk, you know, talks like science fiction is, is science reality. We have to go to malls. All go to malls.

[Heather Santoro]

Go to balls.

[Dana Carvey]

We have to go to malls. And so they can terraform it, they can just blast off oxygen canisters, whatever if they find ice, but they can kind of make it into a, an environment where you walk around without, without a space suit, you know, I don't know if it'll be 75 and partly cloudy or what, but I'd rather be. They can make it hospitable to humans.

[David Spade]

They said within one year they'll have a Zara there and maybe a Hickory Farms.

[Dana Carvey]

Here's what they have to do. You know what, go fucking go back to the moon, fellas.

[David Spade]

It's not what's wrong with the moon.

[Dana Carvey]

Go back to the moon and build a Howard Johnson's on the moon. When I was a kid, 2001, there was a Howard Johnson's hotel on the moon. And we want some of 2001. Now it's two.

[David Spade]

Two. Yeah, we're a little late.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, get us. Give it.

[David Spade]

Go to the moon. Just put some condos, put in a Banana republic. Just make it like every city in America.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, and just take SpaceX. Don't take the Boeing Starliner, don't take the Jeff Bezos origin. Just get on SpaceX. That's what I would take.

[David Spade]

Okay, next story. Let's see, let's see. Oh, this is about Vegas.

[Dana Carvey]

What is this, civil war?

[Todd Schreiber]

Oh, hello, hello. It's Vegas policy. I'm on top of the free parking garage here at the Sahara, crossing the Fontablue in Las Vegas. And Poly Market has posted a wager on its site. A civil war in the United States. This is from Todd Schreiber.

[David Spade]

Oh.

[Todd Schreiber]

Never one to shy away from offering controversial markets, Poly Market posted a still open bet on the possibility of the Us falling into another civil war by.

[David Spade]

The end of the year. What counts as a civil war.

[Todd Schreiber]

$4,000 was bet on the civil war.

[David Spade]

Happening in the United States.

[Todd Schreiber]

96% of the people who are wagering say that it's not going to.

[Dana Carvey]

I love the video. Like, what does it have to do?

[David Spade]

It's just talking and showing some wages that related to. Okay, you can jump out the idea of a civil war. I mean, people talk about it heavy.

[Dana Carvey]

For our show, there's two kinds of civil wars. There's a cold civil war, which we have been in as a country in Europe in many ways too, with within their countries for the last 20 years hashing it out mostly nonviolently, but a really hot, hot civil war.

[David Spade]

But what would that mean? I mean, there's people that are fighting or. Or does every state have to take a side? It would take so much to put that together.

[Dana Carvey]

Like, do we get uniforms on and start marching around? I know part of one team.

[David Spade]

Do we each have. They send everyone two uniforms. You have to pick one to put. Maybe I'll be this guy. That. That's what you could do in the war. You walk along with him. Okay, got it.

[Dana Carvey]

I just want to show up my whistling God damn.

[David Spade]

For the whole song. Okay, Heather's in and she's back out. Okay. Okay, we're almost done here. Okay, let's do another one.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's do another one. Why is Vietnam the testing ground for the new banking order? I need more information.

[Unknown Expert]

Why is Vietnam the testing ground for the new banking order? Well, recently Vietnam imposed a requirement for a digital id, including a biometric scan of everyone in order to have a bank account. And what they did to enforce this is they closed 86 million bank accounts and seized all the assets in those accounts. So the owners of those accounts have no ability to do banking or access their funds because they chose not to sacrifice their privacy and submit to this.

[David Spade]

Biometric surveillance in your best interest to do.

[Unknown Expert]

This is not something that is going to stay in Vietnam. This is a test. Because if we look at, for example, what's going on with the European Central bank and Digital ID initiative comes this way, as well as the REAL ID and the CBD and a lot of.

[Dana Carvey]

Letters, a lot of D, abc, D.

[David Spade]

E, F, G. Yeah. Okay, you can jump out.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, well, that got 3 million views. I don't know. Yeah, you give up. You, you know, everything's a trade off. Thomas Sowell's famous quote, there are no solutions. There's only trade offs. That's in Politics, that's in government. There's no, no utopian solution. You're always going to trade off. So you get all that kind of security and ID identification and then you give up privacy or potential privacy. So it's a trade off. David, what's your.

[David Spade]

I mean, already if your bank doesn't agree with you, they could just stop you from getting in your bank. People can always seize your assets. You always hear that with criminals. So they just cut off. I mean, that's the scary thing. Do we even have money? We all. You talk about your joke about you. Your money is like numbers on a thing every month, and the next month the numbers change. Do I have it if I needed it? Can I get it? I don't know, It's. It used to be cash, you know, oh, I got this money right here. But so I know if they say one day, you know, they're doing these things where they say, if you go in a store or if you have a. You're. You get, you get emissions where you can do this much driving in a day and this much gas you use in a day, and if you go over that, it stops. You know, stuff like that is probably in the future. I don't love it, but I think that's where we're headed.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you know, technology can be used for good or evil. And even now, when AI is ubiquitous, nefarious forces, it's. There's going to need more security in your bank accounts, even your digital bank accounts that are. That are backed up and backed up and underground bunker, you know, so anyway, it is a. It's a scary world. So it'd be very strange to literally wake up and just this, hey, this is a good movie idea. Some billionaire wakes up and he's broke, right? Just. It was all taken away. They can't find it. It's all gone. It's in crypto. Or it's just gone.

[David Spade]

Yeah, crypto.

[Dana Carvey]

Start over. Like, say you went broke. Okay, could you, David Spade, pull up your pants after crying a little bit? Kind of go like this and walk out the door and go, I'm gonna.

[David Spade]

Make it again, not pull up my bootstraps.

[Dana Carvey]

That was probably a better way to put it. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

[David Spade]

I don't know. I think you're. I think you're discounting how much crying I would do first. That would be a while. And then I would be like, I have no skills. I don't know what I would do. I have no, like, visible skills.

[Dana Carvey]

So, no, we Would have been almost. You know, people say, what was your biggest break? Well, being born in America when I did when I was, you know. What if we were. It was the 9th century and we were just farmers in south of France and we were. I would do impressions of the king and you would do quips about the farming.

[David Spade]

You know, two jesters.

[Dana Carvey]

We should plant these acorns where they up your ass. But we would just get paid in beans and with beatings.

[David Spade]

It's a lot of off with their head back then. I don't like that. That's, it's like they throw that around too loosely.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, we had court gestures throughout the Middle Ages and with the kings and stuff. And they would get killed if they were too funny. I'd love to see too funny.

[David Spade]

I, I, I'd be in danger or.

[Dana Carvey]

Too sarcastic, you know, again. But I, it's hard to feel. You just have to have humility if you live in a time. But you're my and your particular skill set. We were able to convert it to some money and that's a good set of skills. I have a particular set of skills. I can sound kind of like Donald Trump.

[David Spade]

Yeah, that's true. You got that down. All right, one more and then Dana, this is going on.

[Dana Carvey]

One more and then. Yeah, because people don't need this. They don't understand it.

[David Spade]

China just unveiled what?

[Unknown Tech Commentator]

China just unveiled a spy drone that looks like a mosquito.

[David Spade]

Oh, like you couldn't hate mosquitoes.

[Unknown Tech Commentator]

Fully functional surveillance.

[David Spade]

Whoa.

[Unknown Tech Commentator]

Measuring just 0.6 centimeters, this tiny drone is packed with micro cameras and microphones.

[David Spade]

And it bites you.

[Unknown Tech Commentator]

Audio capture, video and trans.

[Dana Carvey]

It ruins your picnic.

[Unknown Tech Commentator]

Developed by the National University of Defense Technology. Technology. It flaps. Its transparent.

[Dana Carvey]

It looks exactly like a mosquito.

[David Spade]

I'm just a mosquito. Don't mind me.

[Unknown Tech Commentator]

And is nearly invisible radar. Sure, it can only fly for a few minutes, but that's enough to sneak into rooms, eavesdrop on conversations, scan for threats or gather intel.

[David Spade]

Right now it's just be generally annoying.

[Unknown Tech Commentator]

Designed for covert military operations. So next time, mosquito.

[David Spade]

Oh gross. Look at all those mosquitoes.

[Dana Carvey]

Everything is getting tinier. You know these, it's these tiny. Used to be drones. There used to be like giant jets with bombs and now it's all about drones coming in. And it's going to be little tiny insects. And eventually it'll just look like dust in the air and be like, I.

[David Spade]

Saw this woman on the news yesterday. She's been robbed twice. And in her backyard she saw some guys down with a camera and they had A drone checking out her backyard for what she had to steal. And it was going to each. I was like, whoa. A new version of, like, trouble.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. Sometimes you just want to kind of find a cabin up. Up in the woods somewhere, you know, no WI fi and just get a lot of cool snacks and just watch laserdisc or something.

[David Spade]

I'm not. I'm not gonna move in with you right away, but it's probably on the horizon. Dana and Davey sitting in a tree. That's just farming. Is a new show. I'm out with the chickens. Yeah, that'll be one. That'll be a preview. A preview of it. Oh, no, he's back.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, give me a song. I can whistle it. Give me any tune in the world. I can whistle it any tune. Heather.

[David Spade]

She goes, well, that's not a tune. Yeah, it is. She wants you to wrap it up. I want to start all over. She's just showing his wisdom.

[Dana Carvey]

Heather's sweet. Can you guys go to the beginning again?

[David Spade]

Okay, do taps.

[Dana Carvey]

How's that go? Oh.

[David Spade]

It'S not that hard. Dana acts like this is the hardest thing anyone could never do.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I did the wizard of Oz as Garth. They cut it out of the movie.

[David Spade]

Okay, go ahead. What is that? Right into the mic. How did that escape the movie? Oh, well, here we go. The whole thing. Oh, I thought Katherine McPhee was going to kick in.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

No, there's some notes that are. You're like.

[Dana Carvey]

We will.

[David Spade]

We did good.

[Dana Carvey]

All right. We did good, I think. I mean, you know, it's episode number 6322. We'll be back next week with a brand new fly on the wall without a guess. But we could have a guest.

[David Spade]

We might. We might soon. So just keep your eyes peeled.

[Dana Carvey]

We might have some eccentric guessing here on this particular part of flying.

[David Spade]

Mix it up, mix it up.

[Dana Carvey]

Mix it up. Squeeze it out.

[David Spade]

All right, thanks, guys. Hey, guys. If you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, Give us review 5 star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

[Dana Carvey]

If you're watching watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

[David Spade]

Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

[Dana Carvey]

Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by.

[David Spade]

Phil Sweet Tech booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

[Dana Carvey]

Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney and Lauren Vieira.

[David Spade]

Reach out with us. Any questions to be asked and answered on the show, you can email [e-mail] that's a U D a C-Y dot com.