Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey & David Spade

Episode: State of Boring News, Epstein Files & Hotel Laundry Secrets

Release Date: March 2, 2026
Hosts: Dana Carvey, David Spade

Episode Overview

In this riotous episode, comedy legends Dana Carvey and David Spade riff on the blandness of today’s headlines, viral news oddities, the latest shocking revelations from the Jeffrey Epstein files, and crucially—how NOT to do your laundry in a hotel room. From sharp takes on fitness culture and celebrity tabloid news to memorable stories from their lives in showbiz, expect wall-to-wall banter, rapid-fire impressions, and their signature blend of absurdity and truth. Audience questions, personal anecdotes, and memorable impressions abound in this wild ride behind the comedy curtain.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fitness, Dinner, and the Absurdities of Aging (01:20–05:25)

• Dana’s Fitness Tip: Suggests micro-exercise—"Just two pushups every hour. It’s a signal to your muscles." (02:41)
  • Spade jokes: “Two total in the week?” (02:58)
• Discussion on muscles and attractiveness ("fit-ish" is their self-description).
• Reflections on early dinners and the horrors of Miami nightlife:
  • Spade on Miami: "Literally, not one person has a job. They're just all doing bumps and taking Instagram pictures." (05:14)

2. Touring Canada: Taxes and Comedy Memories (05:31–08:42)

• Spade describes Canada’s reputation for double taxation on performers (06:03), recalling Toronto as a favorite (05:49).
• Dana’s "Trapped in Paradise" shoot and being hounded for taxes: "They would call me at home... 'You know, there's some taxes, right?'" (06:19–07:10)
• Memories about eating at Toronto’s Barbarians steakhouse with Chris Farley and Rob Lowe, and touching on Rachel McAdams and “The Notebook” set (07:50–08:24).

3. Hollywood Anecdotes & Impressions (09:00–10:46)

• Burgess Meredith impressions (from “Rocky” and “Batman”): Dana: “The key was to say, instead of ‘murder,’ say ‘mo.’” (09:05)
• Rocky franchise banter—Dana: "My strategy is to take about 55 punches to my face..." (09:59)

4. Wildlife Encounters on Tour (10:28–11:52)

• Spade recounts a San Antonio show invaded by a bat: "I was backstage…It lands. It’s a full bat." (10:53)
• Audience reaction was calm—“Nobody cares about the bat.” (11:35)
• Dana recounts Montana’s dusk bat swarms (11:40)

5. Stories from the Road & TSA Ordeals (13:14–17:11)

• Spade gets pulled aside at TSA for accidentally packing a “full knife”: “Just like I used to talk about my act. Full knife, Heather, bold knife.” (15:43)
• Comedy about enjoying TSA frisking: “I like being frisked in the morning, especially underneath, with onlookers taking notes. It's a wonderful part of my existence.” —Dana (16:43)

6. Epstein Files: Gates, Chopra & the Tabloid “Smokiness” (17:55–21:14)

• Discussion of Bill Gates admitting to affairs (with "a physicist and a bridge player"), not to wrongdoing with Epstein (18:00–19:30).
  • Carvey as Bill Gates (in Borat voice): “‘Would you like to go upstairs and make lovey-lovey time after we finish a bridge game?’” (19:01)
• Deepak Chopra’s extensive email exchanges with Epstein—Dana: “When you hit a thousand emails, there's some smoke.” (19:54)
  • Dana’s mock meditation voice: “The consciousness of life and what beauty, of love and spank me with a spoon.” (01:05, echoed at 20:44, 29:28)

7. Tourette’s, the BAFTAs, and Award Show Commentary (21:14–28:21)

• Banter about an incident at the BAFTAs where a Tourette’s sufferer shouted slurs: "He kept saying the N-word…you just, it comes out." (21:23–21:42)
• Spade on diversity at award shows: “If you just say we’re all actors…I think now, it just makes it more even…we’re all acting.” (27:22)
• Dana jokes about his own Emmy: “They announced it, 'This is the 198th straight white male that has won this award.'" (27:26)

8. More Tour Stories: Car Safety & Flight Hijinks (28:26–31:40)

• Spade gets thrown around in the backseat of a new Escalade when brakes lock up ("I was not strapped in and when they touched the brakes…went all the way to the dash." 28:54)
• Dana’s airplane bit with an exaggeratedly long seatbelt (29:30)
• Nicest flight attendants: "She sneaks around and just hands me a beer" (30:26)

9. Viral News: Love is Blind, Prison Connections & Laundry Horrors (31:45–44:27)

• Love is Blind Viral Clip: Spade recounts a clip where a man dumps his (gorgeous, doctor) fiancée for not being "fit" enough (32:05–34:47)
  • Dana: “Her best comeback should’ve been, 'I think you’re looking for a dude.'” (33:05)
  • Dana: “I think she's pretty already…he looks like a doofus and she's gorgeous.” (34:20)
• Prison Pen Pals: Spade finds a prison dating profile—“I’m tall, articulate, tattooed, and a total baddie.” (35:42)
  • Carvey muses on women attracted to murderers—“They know where they are at all times.” (37:39)
  • Tyson impressions: “I had the best time in prison. I ate like a king.” (38:53)
• Hotel Laundry Secrets: Influencer faces $1M lawsuit for showing how to wash underwear in a hotel coffee maker. The hosts and Heather are revolted; Dana promotes the sink-rinse method instead. (41:23–43:57)
  • Dana: “It’s pretty easy to use the basin of the sink and hot water…I mean, you rinse out the basin.” (42:56)

10. Animal Virality: Punch, the Sad Monkey (44:27–46:56)

• Six-month-old Japanese monkey abandoned, clings to plush orangutan for comfort—"He gets sad and scared, so he hugs his little squishy doll." (45:11)
  • "He's opening for us in October!" —Dana (46:56)
  • Spade: "People get really worried...animals mean a lot." (46:12)

11. Underground Noises & Conspiracy Fun (47:31–49:39)

• Viral TikTok: Kentucky farmer hears weird 'construction' noises under his property (47:39–49:04)
  • Spade suspects faking; Carvey jokes about disclosing “aliens underneath your house.” (49:31)

12. More News Oddities & Stand-Up Real Talk (51:06–54:44)

• Five forms of ID for shoveling snow in some U.S. city (51:06)
• Spade gets carded for Tito’s at Chili’s at his age, jokes about "the Crypt Keeper" (52:17)
• Stand-up realities: Early-career pain, late-career paydays: "If you get past three years, maybe you can settle in. But, man, some of those early bombs..." —Dana (53:58–54:14)

13. Iconic Rock Voices & Comedy Callback (55:05–57:29)

• Feedback on the previous episode with Eddie Vedder.
• Who are the greatest rock voices?
  • Freddie Mercury, Eddie Vedder, and female rockers get special mention.
  • Carvey: “Freddie Mercury had quite the pipes.” (55:53)
  • Dana: “My Bohemian Rhapsody—whoops.” (56:55)
• Behind-the-scenes of the famous "Wayne's World" head-banging scene and working with Chris Farley (57:14–57:29)

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On exercise:
  “If you can do two pushups every hour—just two? It’s a signal to your muscles.” —Dana (02:41)
• On Canada Taxes:
  “Canada just chased me for 15 years…same thing with New York. New York would call me at home after I moved out.” —Dana (06:19)
• On Bill Gates & Epstein:
  “Would you like to go upstairs and make lovey-lovey time after we finish a bridge game?" —Dana, Bill Gates impression (19:01)
• On Deepak Chopra Emails:
  “When you hit a thousand emails, there’s some smoke.” —Spade (19:54)
  • Dana riffing: "The consciousness of life and what beauty, of love and spank me with a spoon..." (20:44)
• On Diversity at Awards:
  "If you just say we’re all actors...just makes it more even and not...we’re all acting." —Spade (27:22)
• On ‘Love Is Blind’:
  “Her best comeback should’ve been, ‘I think you’re looking for a dude.’” —Dana (33:05) "He looks like a doofus and she's gorgeous." —Heather via Dana (34:20)
• On hotel coffee machine laundry:
  "You rinse out the basin...all you see is clear, fresh water. When you rinse out and run the water on the basin." —Dana (42:56)
• On monkey Punch:
  "He gets sad and scared, so he hugs his little squishy doll." —Spade (45:11) "He's opening for us in October!" —Dana (46:56)
• On stand-up:
  "It's still kind of a small group of people that are stupid enough to pursue a career in stand-up comedy." —Dana (53:58)
• On rock voices:
  “Freddie Mercury has had quite the pipes. What a tremendous show.” —Dana (55:53)

Highlighted Segments (Timestamps)

• Fitness tips & body image: 01:20–05:25
• Touring/taxes anecdotes: 05:31–08:42
• Hollywood stories & impressions: 09:00–10:46
• TSA experiences: 13:14–17:11
• Epstein Files commentary: 17:55–21:14
• News Roundup: 31:45–44:27
• Quirky animal stories: 44:27–46:56
• Underground farm noises: 47:31–49:39
• Music & Wayne’s World: 55:05–57:29

Overall Tone

The episode is signature Carvey & Spade: fast-moving, irreverent, and full of sharp banter, self-deprecating jokes, and in-the-moment impressions. They weave between real news, personal stories, and deep comedy insider talk with quick wit and lots of laughter—making light even of the absurd or cringe-worthy in the world.

For New Listeners

If you missed the show, this episode will keep you laughing while also dropping showbiz stories, hot takes on trending news, and moments of surprising introspection. The chemistry between Dana and David, plus their legendary comedy instincts, make even “boring news” wildly entertaining.