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David Spade
David, for lunch today?
Dana Carvey
Lunchtime. Yeah.
David Spade
Do you have any.
Dana Carvey
What are you going to do?
David Spade
What do you do? You know, sometimes I really just want to have fun. I would get like a really good turkey sandwich with avocado or if I.
Dana Carvey
Really want to say the same thing, really, Turkey. I just had it yesterday.
David Spade
Yeah. And maybe a few baked chips. And then you'd want an ice cold Pepsi, which I don't. What I like to do with Pepsi is I fill the whole glass to the brim with ice and then I slowly pour the Pepsi in and I make what I call a super Pepsi, you know, because the cold super Pepsi.
Dana Carvey
It'S not that super, but.
David Spade
Yeah, Well, I think if I say it's super, then it's kind of. It's. It's closer to super.
Dana Carvey
Well, on your head is super because it's.
David Spade
It's a super Pepsi. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's not a regular situation.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah. You know, I was flying this week and Pepsi on the plane. All Pepsi products. The casino. I just played every restaurant thing. You throw one in with lunch, dinner and get, you get a little caffeine going. You get the fizzy bubbles and it's.
David Spade
Fun and, you know, you share it with people. An Austrian friend of mine once said to be quote, and you know what enhances those flavors and really makes them pop? It's an ice cold Pepsi. I said, thank you.
Dana Carvey
Ice gives it a pop.
David Spade
Yeah, it gives you a pop with the Pepsi. Pop is better than a regular pop.
Dana Carvey
Get a fizzy Pepsi in you and a pepperoni piece of pizza. You know, I've done that so many times.
David Spade
Well, yeah, I would say pizza and a Pepsi, they sound alike. They go together. You will lose your mind with pizza and Pepsi every time. Grab a Pepsi, zero sugar for your next meal as food deserves Pepsi.
Dana Carvey
Dana, I gamble a little bit, but I'm so good at it. That's why I tell people, don't worry about me. I'm good. Even though I, you know, I. I lose a lot. But I go to BETMGM across the socials. That's at BetMGM. It. It's a sports book Born in Vegas. Here's the deal. You got second chance on first touchdown score. So all season long, bet. MGM is offering you a second chance on your first touchdown bet. Okay, so you get what's going on. So customer places a wager on a first touchdown score bet. He does not score first, but scores second bet. MGM will return 100% of their stake back in cash.
David Spade
Oh, well, well put. And well said. You know, I was talking to Paul McCartney.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, what are you saying?
David Spade
And I said, paul, what.
Dana Carvey
What.
David Spade
What do you. What is the second chance on first touchdown score with bet mgm? He says, well, you know, the season can be long and it lasts the whole time, you know. Bet MGM is offering you a second chance on your first touchdown bet. That's so. So when a customer, you know, they place a wager, a big wager on a first touchdown score bet, and he doesn't score first, he does not score first, but he scores second. Yeah, you get the score not first, but second. We return 100% of the stake back in cash. And that means pounds and quid and all those things.
Dana Carvey
That's great.
David Spade
So I said, thanks, Paul. That was really fun.
Dana Carvey
That's all you guys talked about, all we talked about.
David Spade
I wanted to talk about the Beatles. But he goes, no, let's go back to this. If you do, the first touchdown score does go. We know, we heard.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Spade
You get a second chance with the score. Second, you get 100% back of your quid. And your pounds.
Dana Carvey
And your pounds. Listen, pounds bet mgm and game sense remind you to play responsibly. Betmgm and game sense remind you to gamble responsibly. See betmgm.com for terms 21+only. This U.S. promotional offer not available in Ontario.
David Spade
Gambling problem, call 1-800- GAMBLER available in the U.S. for New York, call 877-8-HOPE NY or text hopeny 467-369. For Arizona, call 1-800- NEXT STEP for Massachusetts, 1-800-327-5050. For Iowa, 1-800-bets off for Puerto Rico, 1-800-981-0023. Subject to eligibility requirements. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel.
Judd Apatow
I can't do the third shift of hot dogs. I used to have, like, a couple. The beginning, a couple five innings later. Now I can't.
Dana Carvey
These are an eating clock.
David Spade
What? You eat four hot dogs in a.
Dana Carvey
Game, you fat ass. Jesus, dodger dogs are 2ft long.
David Spade
The game means nothing. It's all about the relish and the moisture.
Dana Carvey
It's settling in and eating. That's the beauty. And you probably have a waitress.
David Spade
Well, that's the best place to have a hot dog is a baseball game.
Dana Carvey
Hey, Dana.
David Spade
What's up?
Dana Carvey
Welcome to Superfly.
David Spade
I'm getting a haircut later today. Today.
Dana Carvey
Oh, you are? Let's carry the lead.
David Spade
It's just shaggy. It's just a little bit much. I need more face, less hair. You Know, if the hair's too bunty, then, you know. So anyway, I know it's exciting for the people listening, but.
Dana Carvey
No, listen, I suffer a little buanteism now and then, but right now mine's sort of scraped back. My room is a hair darker than yours, so. Save it, YouTube. We don't want to hear that. And also, I did. I do take sips of water sometime, and I actually hate it myself to see it. So I'm sorry. People watching, but. Sorry. I'm trying to live.
David Spade
No, I think that that's a good thing. No, I just. So I went to the dentist.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
David Spade
And usually at some point, when I go to the dentist or the doctor, the dentist or the doctor will say, wow. At some point when they're checking me out or doing diagnostics, they say, wow.
Dana Carvey
Something'S wrong or something. It scares you.
David Spade
Something's blowing their mind. So I went to this guy before, and he did a diagnostics on my teeth. And then I went in to get a crown, which is kind of. You're like the king for a day.
Dana Carvey
Sure.
David Spade
And I said, you're going to say wow at some point today. And he goes, oh, come on, don't be silly. So they numb you. And then I swear to God, the drill was doing Beethoven's 5th.
Dana Carvey
Or it.
David Spade
Was sounding like it was crying, like, I've stopped the drill. So anyway, then under his breath at one point, after he got down, got all that stuff out, he goes, wow. So then he announces to me, you got two nerve endings down there. I can't put a crown on it. It's all 3D. You can see the tooth. It looks all shiny and red.
Dana Carvey
I can see him hanging out of your mouth right now.
David Spade
It's all look like ropes right back here. And so he says, there's two nerve endings full of bacteria that are about to explode. So you. You need a root canal, stat. So today, after this, I'm gonna get a root canal. I don't quite know what they do, but I know they numb it up pretty good. So that's exciting.
Dana Carvey
Sucks. Whatever it is. I don't think I've had one.
David Spade
Oh, you've had one?
Dana Carvey
I don't think I've had. I've had. I mean, my teeth aren't great, but they're kind of. At least they. They're working right now, but I don't have tons. I used to have those silver fillings. More boring stories, but they found out those are bad for you, whatever. So they jack them. It's another scam the dentists go, let's say they're good for you. And then let's say they got to take them out. They get paid both ways. Okay. Coming and going.
David Spade
Christ.
Dana Carvey
And then.
David Spade
Yeah, no, you just look good, but you smile big.
Dana Carvey
I'm not really about my teeth. Well, I kind of have buck tooth.
David Spade
Well, here to why my stuff's not so great. So I had buck teeth. I was going to be called Bucky. And so they said, you got to get braces. Parents at first couldn't afford the bottom. So the guy literally said to me, I'm sure I've said this on the podcast, can you just push on. Get a habit of pushing on this tooth to push it back because we can't afford the bottom. Finally, my parents, you know, five kids, teacher salary, scraped together, got the braces. But first they said, but first, let's pull four of your teeth. Two up here and two here. So that's why I have a small mouth and a little like this. Otherwise it'd be, like, fantastic. And then I got shitty braces. By the time I never brushed or floss. I don't know how you floss with braces. I had head gear. I. When they came off, I had like seven cavities. And from then on, I've had to take care of my teeth.
Dana Carvey
But luckily they find full candy corns and aren't even chewed jam.
David Spade
No. But how do you. How do you brush? How do.
Dana Carvey
I had braces as horrible. I had the kind you hit on with a little hammer. You probably had that, too. Like a rubber hammer. No wonder my neck's fucked up. And then they never. They never take them off. And then I had the rubber bands, which are horrible.
David Spade
Yeah, those. And the head. The head thing with the headgear, which was hard.
Dana Carvey
I had a key in there on a retainer during SNL to open the upper pallet.
David Spade
Oh, you had it later in life.
Dana Carvey
I'm like, I had them early. And then they, like, we botched it because my mom got it, like out of the yellow Pages. It was like, get braces and a free balloon. It was probably a hundred dollars. So we had no money. So I get these shitty braces. My teeth were like this. And then they go, we gotta get four wisdom teeth out. They took them out, and this will make you fucking puke.
David Spade
I did get.
Dana Carvey
But when I come home, like this, way too much everything. You know, as a kid, you've never had even aspirin. I haven't had anything. And so I come home like, hello, Doctor. And then they go. Go to sleep. And I had four impacted, so they're all smashed with gauze. They go, change your gauze. So in the middle of night, I get. I throw it in the sink. I put new ones in. And the next day I'm bleeding so much. I'm sick. She runs me down. There they go, he almost died. He pulled all of his stitches out in the middle of the night.
David Spade
You did.
Dana Carvey
I ripped everything out. I had to go do it again because you were. I just went My mouth and went sick. Sickening, sickening. Puccable. So I would have gotten hooked on Vicodin that. I didn't have time, though. But I did get aspirin and then whatever. And I didn't have any pain pills. Yeah, I take a lot.
David Spade
I don't like. I just. I don't like general anesthesia. I said, just numb me up.
Dana Carvey
And they go, do you do gas?
David Spade
No, I just do the shots. And they go, you're. And it's like, this is a joke I used to do on stage. You go, a dentist having sex. All right, you're going to feel a little prick. Sorry, that's all I got.
Dana Carvey
And then maybe some little balls.
David Spade
You know, when you're starting out, kids, you know, you're just anything that gets a laugh. You're not thinking what your peers think. But no, I don't.
Dana Carvey
I will tell you, I had an adventure. Plus, I hope you're okay today because we need this thing to keep going.
David Spade
Oh, it's going to be fine. It's modern day much.
Dana Carvey
If you need a ride, let me know.
David Spade
All right?
Dana Carvey
Oh, you do.
David Spade
I'll hit you. Yeah, and I want to sit in the back because I get car sick after dental work, so I want to look like you're my chauffeur driving me through West Hollywood and just having people honk and go, look. I guess Dana tires David Spade to be his driver.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Things have really swept. You go, like, here's you. I'm driving. And then I'll just film you like this, and then I'll ask you questions and watch you go, oh, like they do on TikTok.
David Spade
Modern dentistry is no big deal. Don't worry about it. I did get a cavity once where I didn't do the numbing, and I wouldn't do that again. That was hard.
Dana Carvey
That wouldn't even cross my mind.
David Spade
Idiot.
Dana Carvey
All right, so here I am this weekend. I went down finally get to golf because I did six or seven weekends on the road straight jeez. It is a bit of a grind.
David Spade
But what do you do with all that money? Okay, go ahead.
Dana Carvey
I have Atlantic City coming up in a week. I have Reno, and I have Sacramento. Okay, so. But those are fun. Those are just, like, fun ones. And maybe a corporate but. So here I am. I get to golf. It's finally decent weather. So I'm in Newport. I'm out there. Anyway, there's helicopters, which aren't always on the golf course. The golf course is kind of by the water. So that's the nice proximity of it all. So anyway, they're so hot. They're so close that you're like, okay, move. I don't know what's going on. And we're getting max. It's so loud. You know, whatever. Over, over, over for maybe 10 minutes, 15 minutes. And that's not usually the idea of the golf course, is to keep it quiet.
David Spade
Quiet.
Dana Carvey
So then I leave and I see a couple of cops when I checking out, and I drive by them and I go, hey, what was going on with those helicopters? They go, oh, we had a boatload of migrants come on the beach. And they all ran. And they ran on the golf course. So they're all chasing, and it's a whole thing going on around us. And I was like, who is our caddy? No, I'm kidding. But someone threw on overalls and jumped in. But. But they're running around.
David Spade
You see them running. You see.
Dana Carvey
No, they were on the course next to us. They were running all over.
David Spade
And that was all the stuff.
Dana Carvey
It was. Yeah, but they. By the way, I would have grabbed a cop and said, give me that free phone and give me that stuff and let me get out of. Out of your way. Because.
Judd Apatow
Why.
Dana Carvey
Why are you running? So they just come right on the beach and they go, this happens sometimes. And I go, where'd they go? And they go, I don't know.
David Spade
Well, that blows open the whole idea of, we got to close the border now. We got. We should close the beaches first.
Dana Carvey
You have to close most of the.
David Spade
Point Magoo or something. Point Magoo storming Point Magoo.
Dana Carvey
And Blabby.
David Spade
A perfect isn't safe.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, listen, it was just sort of a. It was sort of funny to me because I thought, these Keystone Cops are spinning around and everyone's running around, but we don't know anything. I wish we would have known at the time. Would I be scared? I don't know if I'd be scared, but I just thought it would be. I would help.
David Spade
I think they're probably just desperate to meld into the population. If it's like the great escape was Steve McQueen or it's like they just want to get past everything and meld into.
Dana Carvey
Guy runs up to me, need a fourth. We're like, oh, sure, I'm going to play through.
David Spade
And he grabs a club, he shoots a 62, you know, and he's really good.
Dana Carvey
And then it's a movie because he's so good.
David Spade
Yeah, he's just a natural. I can't do the accent, but whatever accent it would be. By the way, only 25% of people of Mexican or heritage are coming across the border. 75% is from other countries. Just a fun fact for our listeners.
Dana Carvey
That's a longer hike, though. Yeah, I would think Mexico, because it's right there.
David Spade
Right. I don't.
Dana Carvey
It's not Canadian, is it?
David Spade
We're going to take them out. We're going to depose 300 million people. We're going to. Excuse me, sir.
Dana Carvey
You're going to. You're going to get caught up in the net. Just grab you accidentally.
David Spade
I just I. The rhythm. I love Trump and I've been doing it, but when I see him do it, it when he goes to the gruff thing, it's such a funny thing. He's just talking like this and a lot of people said we're doing. And then he sees the energies going down a little bit in the stadium and we got to do it. We got to do that so hard when you kind of lean in when he does that. So. But, you know, Biden's. Biden's my guy right now. He's my guy.
Dana Carvey
So. Yeah, also. Okay, so in the news, I saw that Tom Brady, you know, his ex wife is Giselle. I don't know. Did you know this Giselle, She's a supermodel. They call them supermodels now. And she has.
David Spade
Supermodel better than a regular model.
Dana Carvey
So. So she.
David Spade
Okay.
Dana Carvey
She gets.
David Spade
She's pregnant with the karate instructor or martial arts instructor.
Dana Carvey
His whole life is just. You're the karate guy. Yeah. So they. They go off and they. I like that they keep saying she's going to raise the baby in her $11.5 million home. They don't just say, Nice house, 11.5.
David Spade
Why wouldn they round it up to 12?
Dana Carvey
They should do something.
David Spade
Because that's actually just homework for my brain. I don't need to.
Dana Carvey
It's so much. It's so much.
David Spade
Millions. Okay. So for people who just came in from Mars, Tom Brady was was married to Giselle Bundchen, who's a supermodel for decades. She's still gorgeous, in great shape, and she's.
Dana Carvey
Everyone's gorgeous involved in this photo, in this marriage. And you know what the two dots over the U and her name are called? Do you know, Dana?
David Spade
They're called a thing, like a semicolon or something.
Dana Carvey
They're called an oopsalong, I think. Okay, so cut us up to YouTube comments. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Okay, but then Tom Brady posts this Instagram the next day.
David Spade
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Dana Carvey
Okay, why?
David Spade
Well, I get that.
Dana Carvey
Go ahead.
David Spade
Well, because just human, male, female, forget this trio of dandies, these beauts, Just think of the human thing of being instinctually, even proprietary over an X. In some ways, there's left vestigial feelings about that. Vestigial, vestigial, leftover feelings. Scottsdale Community College gets dominated by college. San Mateo. So the point would be, he's Tom. Tom Brady is asking himself, can he just be magnanimous, be happy for them, be a good stepdad or whatever to the child? Or he can be petty, reflexively jealous, not wishing them well. These are, like, just human things that he's trying to rise above. Your take. That's my hot take.
Dana Carvey
Jesus, you got a lot from people.
David Spade
Who are driving around. Can the child within my heart rise above, question mark. Three hearts. There's three people involved. The chop chop guy.
Dana Carvey
Oh, I didn't notice that.
David Spade
Giselle and Tom.
Dana Carvey
Well, is it those three? Or what about the karate guy? Is that four?
David Spade
Well, I put. I put Chop chop guy. Okay, we'll call. No, he's. He's a jiu jitsu champion.
Dana Carvey
Let's be.
David Spade
Mm. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Hi. Do people still say hi? Okay, so it's that. And it's also. But now he has a. He has a kid with Bridget Monahan. Correct.
David Spade
And then two with Giselle. I'm ashamed to report that. I know.
Dana Carvey
I'm ashamed. You don't know.
David Spade
No, I'm ashamed that I know. What am. I should be reading history books.
Dana Carvey
Yes. So that. And then. So there's another kid. And this is from Landslide, the song, right?
David Spade
Yeah. Can you put your best foot forward? How does it go?
Dana Carvey
And if I see. What if the next Instagram is. And if I see my reflection. Covered Hill.
David Spade
See my reflection. I'm doing Bruce Springsteen as Stevie Nicks.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, Stevie Springsteen.
David Spade
And I see my reflection. I'm Bruce Springsteen, and I am not a billionaire. He announced this week that he's not a billionaire.
Dana Carvey
He did.
David Spade
I spent too much money to be a billionaire. I am officially not a billionaire.
Dana Carvey
On what, those same Levi's he's worn for?
David Spade
Yeah, no, he sold his catalog. Good for him for a half billion. But there's taxes.
Dana Carvey
He's fine, he's fine, he's fine. I'm not worried about him. There's a guy playing him now from the Bear and I know. Does he look enough like him? I guess it's sort of just. It's not supposed to be these. A lot of these biopics you don't. They say I just want the essence of the guy I don't want.
David Spade
Well, if he's playing young, spring scene, when spring scene really got built himself up, you know, with a tank top, really put on a lot of.
Dana Carvey
Oh yeah, that guy's jacked.
David Spade
And he. Jeremy Allen. Why is that his name? Yeah, he's pretty built up, but yeah, who can. I mean, Timothy Chalamet is playing Bob Dylan. I saw the trailer and I think he'll be good at that.
Dana Carvey
Listen, as long as they're good looking people, everyone's going to go. That's all that matters really to me.
David Spade
Well, Timothy is a little bit closer to Bob Dylan in a sense of sort of I don't care baby face or whatever.
Dana Carvey
Just kind of lean.
David Spade
Yeah, lean.
Judd Apatow
And.
Dana Carvey
Now, Danny, you've heard the song I can't eat another Hero, right?
David Spade
Or the song we don't need another hero.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, but here we do. Here we do here on the podcast because hero bread is kind of what you've all been waiting for. At least I have. Where I don't want to cut out bread. I don't want to stop eating rolls. I can't take it. I want them. That's all I care about in life. And now because those aren't as good for you, Right? Give us a better bread that's still good and cut that stuff out.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And what do you got?
David Spade
You got hero. Hero bread. So it's basically 0 to 1 grams of net carbs, 0 grams of sugar, lots of fiber. So like during the holidays, you know, you can really go crazy with the bread. You got grilled cheese cozy pumpkin soup, buttery Hawaiian rolls with the family dinner, French toast casserole around the holidays. But now with hero it doesn't. It's guilt free in a sense because it's low carb, low sugar, high in fiber, but tastes amazing.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. And what do you want? I mean, you still get to eat bread. A lot of people just don't eat bread at all, they just have to cut it out. But if you could have it again and it's not bad for you, it's actually good for you. Then you got the low carbs, you got the fiber, so it's a plus. I mean there's really no reason not to try it out.
David Spade
The people from herobread did a lot to give it texture, make it fluffier, you know, taste and be like regular bread that's full of sugar and carbohydrates. So it's kind of like, I'm going to say it a win win.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, it's a strong statement. But yeah. And you know, also I eat croissants on the road sometimes because toast gets too squishy when they, if I, if I did ever a room service or something. But they're coming out with croissants and they got some new surprises coming out. So Herobred is offering 10% off your order of their new recipe. Go to Hero Co use the code Superfly at the checkout. That's Superfly at H E R O.
David Spade
David, at this time of year I'm just going to say this and you can, you know, say whatever you want or of course maybe you're looking back on all the amazing memories you have from 2024, especially if you are in love. Maybe you already looking ahead to your plans in 2025. I'm doing a French accent.
Dana Carvey
Go ahead.
David Spade
I'm doing a French accent because that's the language you love. And maybe, just maybe those plans involved with getting engaged you're at love with.
Dana Carvey
Listen, for anyone about to take that momentous step, I recommend sourcing their engagement ring from bluenile.com Now I will say the closest I've been to being married is when my. When I engaged my abs at Pilates this morning I engaged my core.
David Spade
That's like a good Johnny joke. The closest you've been to being married is when you engaged your abs at the, at the gymnasium station, the local Palani station. No, seriously folks. Blue Nile is the original online jeweler since 1999 on blue nile.com you know what? You can create a bigger, and I'm going to say it, more brilliant piece than you can imagine at a price you're not going to find anywhere else.
Dana Carvey
David, that's Blue Nile offers a diamond price guarantee, which means that in most cases you can meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond. And you can feel great about your purchase because they're committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. Feel good about that, too.
David Spade
I'm just going to say it again. This is easy. This makes getting a diamond ring not stressful or any kind of ring for your loved one or someone you want to get engaged to. Also bonus. David, I don't know if you know this. Blue nile also offers 100% satisfaction guarantee with guarantee.
Dana Carvey
I knew that.
David Spade
Free shipping and returns, then guaranteed service and repairs for life.
Dana Carvey
Life, crazy life. And don't worry, every Blue Nile order is insured, arrives at packaging. It doesn't give it away. In most cases, it can be delivered overnight. Just in case you want to make one more unforgettable memory of 2024, right now, go to Bluenile.com and use code FLY for $50 off your purchase of $500 or more.
David Spade
That's $50 off with code FLY@Bluenile.com Bluenile.com Michelle? Nope, it's not. Not about you. Just it'll be a surprise.
Dana Carvey
The Menendez brothers and I will safely say I haven't followed the whole all I've heard is they might be out by Thanksgiving. So when are they hosting the show? After Thanksgiving.
David Spade
Yes. And when will how long after they step outside the prison will they be on Church Chat on Saturday Night Live?
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah. That's a good one.
David Spade
Well, well, well, we did a naughty thing. Jesus doesn't like what we did with our parents. Now we're out, you know. Yeah. It writes itself.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah.
David Spade
These days, them on Church Chat.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. They don't host somehow. If they're somehow not hosting, will they, it will be played by who?
David Spade
You know what? Look at guy on the right because Mikey Day is pretty lean and there he, he could definitely play at Menendez brother, because this is way better offensive to Mikey.
Dana Carvey
But I could see, I think I could see him.
David Spade
Yeah, they're kind of lean, fit. You know, I do think off the top of my head that the guy on the left, Eric, would be played by Colin Jost. I don't know who's.
Dana Carvey
Well, you might have to put the host in there. Who's the host?
David Spade
Well, the Eric and Lyle are not the host. They're just guests now.
Dana Carvey
They're. Guess if they turn it down, they probably could pop up. Would it be a controversy if they come on?
David Spade
No. I mean, they serve their time. They're for whatever reason they're being let out and they promise not to kill anyone there. Yeah. They said what we did before we're not going to do again. Judge. And he Said case, we realize everyone.
Dana Carvey
Got mad about it, so.
David Spade
Yeah. And our.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, but would people get mad if they came on snl and you understand, it would be a great thing for snl. It'd be fun, but with people at home, which, hey, it's controversy did.
David Spade
Okay, pop quiz. Did OJ Ever come on snl? Of course. He was never convicted.
Dana Carvey
Right.
David Spade
So he could have. Come on.
Dana Carvey
He was convicted for the wrong thing that I would have gotten mad about. Someone stole his stuff and then he wanted it back. But that's. He did a real. No, no. Both, you know, combined the sum of the parts.
David Spade
Ted Bundy ever. Did Ted Bundy ever do a guest spot on Hee Haw?
Dana Carvey
He always big, but people don't know.
David Spade
Yeah, a Western Saturday Night Live or a Western laugh in, basically.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Western sketches.
David Spade
And I remember Bernie Berlstein going.
Dana Carvey
Because he produced it, didn't he?
David Spade
Yeah. And he goes, they take Hee Haw money just as they take any other kind of money in London. You know, money's money. Doesn't matter, you know, because people look down their noses at Hee Haw.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah.
David Spade
Compared to, you know, whatever show Saturday did.
Dana Carvey
Alf. Alf also, right.
David Spade
A puppet makes money. Rule number two. No, we love Bernie, but Bernie was old time show business to us. Muppets.
Dana Carvey
Puppets. Any sort of puppets.
David Spade
Actually, we have a show called the Uppits. They can be a Muppet or a puppet, and it comes all bases.
Dana Carvey
It's all funny. Okay, let's do more headlines because we've got a guest today. So we got a couple more.
David Spade
We got to get to our guest.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah. Why are we. What? Oh, who wants to know that? Oh, oh, we're talking about trick or treating. Well, unfortunately, we taped this the second before Halloween happened. So this is costumes that I thought were funny. I saw. This is a person dressed as a foot.
David Spade
A foot in a. In a. In a foot. So in a. Free.
Dana Carvey
Those of you at home, there's no.
David Spade
Foot in a thong. Is that. What are those called? Those?
Dana Carvey
A thong shoe.
David Spade
A thong shoe Nowadays. Yes, yes. And that they have a big red toe and it's a little crooked.
Dana Carvey
Is a G string different than a thong, Heather?
David Spade
No, but those are beach thongs. They're called thongs as well as under.
Dana Carvey
These are. They used to be called something else that we can't say anymore. But they're called flip flops, let's say.
David Spade
Oh, they're called.
Dana Carvey
So it's a flip flops. Now it's a guy dressed in a flip flop standing up in a Flip flop painting is. It's too hard to describe. It's funny though. I think it's funny. Horrible costume to walk around in.
David Spade
Horrible. I'll announce the best costume. My brother, my older brother in New York went to a costume party like this. And so what he did was he just put all these with rope or whatever. He put mirrors all over his whole body and all around him. And he. And people would say, who are you going as? And he says, I'm going as you. Because they would see their reflection.
Dana Carvey
I can see my reflection in the other guy's costume. Okay. Okay, here's one. This is the Olympic pole vaulter.
David Spade
And that's. That's the cost.
Dana Carvey
You got it? I think the hard part about this is a. You can't get a rod because the pole will fall. But also the pole, he made it just long enough where it's a hassle, but it's not totally debilitating to bump into people.
David Spade
Right. It might be funnier if it was 10 foot across.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
You know, like the real pole there, I would just go. I would be the pole vaulter in the pit and just have wheels on top of the pit and just roll around as povalter. When they land in the pit, you.
Dana Carvey
Just want to be the pit.
David Spade
Well, look, I mean, there is no more like. Well, look, look. There's no more sexual sport in high school. Guess who got the girls? The pole vaulters. They're going down the Runway. They're very fast, very muscular. They've got this long phallic pole. They plant it. Then they climax over the bar and land in a bed. I mean, it's really. It shouldn't be allowed. It should not be allowed.
Dana Carvey
It's so perverted. You should have the church lady talk about how bad the line is vaulting is. Yeah, we like to take our pull.
David Spade
We grip it.
Dana Carvey
What are you for Halloween this year? Skeletons in the closet.
Judd Apatow
Wait, no.
Dana Carvey
Skeletons in the closet isn't bad.
Judd Apatow
Did it take you to make this one month?
Dana Carvey
You're telling me you made this whole costume from scratch? Oh, okay. That's good. Skeletons in the closet is good. I mean, that's a month of prep. To go to a friend's party at a dorm in an apartment complex. That's a lot of work. I thought she was going to Heidi Klum's party.
David Spade
You know, basically you're not impressed. Halloween, really what it's all about. David, just for a second here is about three to six year old kids who are jumping out of their seat. They're so excited to ring the doorbell. They have their costume. They say trick or treat and they're adorable candy, you know, and they're free candy. And then as the night goes on, that's 6:30 or 6. And then it's by 9:30. You got like a 15 year old kid, you know, he just got a pillowcase he's just ransacking and a gun. He just puts sunglasses on. I'm a guy at the beach and he's just grabbing and grabbing. And then eventually there's a guy with an Uzi opens fire.
Dana Carvey
I'm robbing you. Yeah.
David Spade
Did I?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah. You know, it's funny because there's schools now. I read that are they're banning Halloween parties because Halloween is bad. I don't know how it's bad, but it's bad. So I think they should just say, okay, let's just say it's a costume party at school and you get free candy because that's all it is really to 99% of people. I don't really know what the bad part is, but it's something that is against someone. So if it is, fine.
David Spade
Eighth graders like to do mayhem. And I've done that, you know, throw eggs. They want to have shaving cream. They want to get people wet and crazed out. You know, I was traumatized by Halloween because my parents moved October 31st. So my first day of kindergarten was Halloween. And so I'm being, I'm, I'm late. I'm introduced to the class and they all have crazy masks on and they seem like scary and I had no costume. We have to march around the playground. So they just gave me a plastic fireman's hat and that was my costume. Never forgot it, man.
Dana Carvey
That was your first like smile sketch. You're like, I'm a fireman. You should have come as Dwayne or Garth or the church lady or something.
David Spade
I don't know.
Dana Carvey
You blew it.
David Spade
Are you gonna man the door this year and pass out candy to come up this hill?
Dana Carvey
No one's that strong. Let's carry. Underwood comes up with her dressed as.
David Spade
The Tommy boy guy.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's what I am. I do. I did post a lot of people when they. I like when they post costumes of something I did. There's a lot of Emperor's new groove. There's some. There's joter, actually. I take it it's very flattering, but a lot of them are too easy. Oh, I did have one. I'll play it next week. Of a kid Dragging a meteor around town. That was funny. He's really got.
David Spade
Oh, really? That's funny.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah. Around a whole town and he's doing lines from the movie.
David Spade
That is.
Dana Carvey
But show dirt is like flannel shirt mullet way. You know, it's too easy. So there's bench warmers. That's kind of funny because one has a bike helmet on and one is a vest on. And then there's grownups, which all you really need. It's really easy and lazy. But you just need one guy with a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket over his head. And then that's. That sells.
David Spade
And then you're good.
Dana Carvey
The rest of it is shorts. Well, you've got Wayne and Garth.
David Spade
They can do chickens. Any woman. It's always a woman. Oh, there is.
Dana Carvey
Oh, look at this kid. Okay.
David Spade
Oh, cute. That's the age.
Dana Carvey
But just for laughs, let's see how much you're worth.
David Spade
Well, it ain't a meteor.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, it is. He walks slow, like I do.
David Spade
Well, yeah.
Dana Carvey
What is that? A tire.
David Spade
But it ain't no meteor.
Dana Carvey
It's a big old frozen chunk of what, this kid's milk airplanes.
David Spade
They dump the toilets 36, 000ft and the stuff freezes and falls to earth.
Dana Carvey
Okay. We call them Boeing bombs. No, that. That can't be. That's not what it is. That's a space peanut.
David Spade
You see the peanut? Dead giveaway.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's. That's a space peanut. All right, that's enough. Yeah, I don't want to give away the whole movie.
David Spade
It makes me like that movie because it's so ridiculous. Movies are fun, you know, Just so ridiculous.
Dana Carvey
I like that kid. He gets in when you got the AC DC shirt. There's people at Comic Con. That one guy has a really good one with a full. Full overalls, full. Real meteor. I think it's a real meteor, Dan.
David Spade
I gotta say. I'm just gonna insert this as a. It's kind of one of the most flattering things you could do as a comedian. Doing characters in movies or on Saturday Night Live and decades later, people and young people are dressing up as them. It's very flattering. It's like it.
Dana Carvey
I do love it.
David Spade
Yeah, it lasted, I think, that comedy, when I was coming through my formative years, Monty Python and stuff, bonding over comedy. Really, Even more than drama. Catchphrases and stuff.
Dana Carvey
For sure. Oh, when we were in high school, just all we cared was comedy movies.
David Spade
Yeah, totally.
Dana Carvey
So fun. All right, next one. What else? What else? Running out of time. We're getting close to the end.
David Spade
We're getting close to the end, folks.
Dana Carvey
You can we have a guest go.
David Spade
About your go by.
Dana Carvey
Oh is another costume. This is so weird. I don't know how they do it.
David Spade
Bye, guys.
Dana Carvey
Good morning. Even better. He does that.
David Spade
That.
Dana Carvey
Okay. No, don't get to figure it out.
David Spade
No, no. I just did that. That last second. I just figured.
Dana Carvey
You did.
David Spade
Well, his real feet are out.
Dana Carvey
Is it a magic trick? I didn't get it.
David Spade
Optical illusion or is it a visual? It's a very good effect. Can we see it one more time?
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
For people who are just listening.
Dana Carvey
I like that he goes from that to standing up. That feels like a better trick.
David Spade
That's pretty good. I'm not sure. I totally figured it out, you know?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I like that. You're like, oh, that old chestnut. And then you thought.
David Spade
I thought his left arm would be fake, but it didn't look fake. You know, like half his body would. So it's an optical illusion or it's a deep fake or it's AI or something.
Dana Carvey
AI can really. When I look at Instagram, any news report about something can be an AI. They fake the voice. Now any photos of people can be AI, Anything they say, any. So it's getting scarier to say this is real. This is. This scares me. This doesn't. This is. You just don't know a hundred percent anymore.
David Spade
Nope. The only good news is, like, within three or five years, Mike Myers and I could just be hanging out. What's up, man? Hey. Let's go to the AI and just say the AI Wayne's World 3 and just some silly plot. Click the button and within one second we'll have a 90 minute feature film. We'll be digital copies of ourself from 30 years ago and the movie will be a hit. Take a look.
Dana Carvey
I want to do a hologram. Stand up. Where we go on the road. You don't go on the road. You just do the. They get in there in their own house or they get with people and you appear on the stage and do your act.
David Spade
They kind of.
Dana Carvey
I think that's going to happen.
David Spade
That's happened. I think Todd Rungren did.
Dana Carvey
I already did a tour. Yeah, it happened.
David Spade
You can do it from one place and it beams into all the living rooms, but. Yeah. Holy.
Dana Carvey
Beam me up, Dana.
David Spade
Mm. You fight technology, you're more fearful.
Dana Carvey
I go now.
David Spade
Quick impression of you fighting technology. 2024. I don't understand it. I can't believe it. It's too much. For me. I don't like it. It's not my best. You're the devil.
Dana Carvey
Take it away.
David Spade
You could do a quick impression of me, too, if you want.
Dana Carvey
Okay, here's Dana. That's you getting your root canal. Give me another liquid Vicodin. You got a Vicodin drip there, like a. Like a gerbil.
David Spade
Here's you watching me get the root canal with closed circuit. You found out where it was. You're watching me on a little TV screen in your mansion.
Dana Carvey
And then I press a button. More pain.
David Spade
Less.
Dana Carvey
Go deeper.
David Spade
Less Novocaine. Fake Novocaine. I don't think this is accurate of you, but it's.
Dana Carvey
Here's. Here's how fake your dentist is that because he's so. Because you got the cheapest guy. So at the end, he's running out, so he just. He just melts down Advils and puts them in an iron. Then he goes like this. And then you get the steam of the steamed Advil.
David Spade
Here's you with a closed circuit camera out in the parking lot, watching me just in pain, swollen up, going to my car. Heather. Heather, look.
Dana Carvey
Heather, help me. Look.
David Spade
It's not my best impression, but it's just an impression. It doesn't have to be accurate, you.
Dana Carvey
Know, and that one stung because it was so accurate.
David Spade
Here's an impression of you watching me kill at the Comedy Store.
Dana Carvey
No, here's me.
David Spade
Here's you watching me do a bit at the Comedy Store and deciding that you might use it for your own act.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah, here's me. Switch that word. Switch that word.
David Spade
He'll never know. Get laughs.
Dana Carvey
I don't know if I can generate those kind of laughs. By the way, last night I went to the Comedy Store to say hi to Bobby Lee and Santino.
David Spade
They were doing that Absolutely.
Dana Carvey
Together. And then, of course, I went up stage hog. So I went up, and it was pretty fun. Oh, you know, I did do, though, Dana.
David Spade
We have all this new material that hasn't been exposed yet.
Dana Carvey
I got my drink, my water. Because I do. Between jokes. I don't have to explain that. I go like this live fly buzzing in it. In the water. Live. Going in my mouth on stage.
David Spade
Stopped it.
Dana Carvey
Stopped it. Freaked out, couldn't remember my act. I'm like, what do I do?
David Spade
Did you tell the audience what just happened? You could do 10 minutes.
Dana Carvey
I did not. Isn't that funny? I did not.
David Spade
You hid it from the audience.
Dana Carvey
I don't want to give away all my tricks. I just was like. I was I thought they'd be so grossed out because it was like this. It bumped my mouth.
David Spade
Sick, dude.
Dana Carvey
I couldn't even focus. I barely killed and got a. Barely got a standing ovation.
David Spade
Did you? Just one standing ovation. Because that's not. That's a low bar. Ladies and gentlemen, David Spade is on the way to his car. Wait a minute. He's coming back out again.
Judd Apatow
What?
Dana Carvey
When I did my special, they, they do. I think they did do a standing ovation, Heather. But I think if I might have earned it. But it went well. But I think they feel like they should. Oh, they stood up when I came out. That's good. Who does? You know, it's hard.
David Spade
Yeah. I mean, well, yeah, they're. Yeah. Now you're like, they're thanking you for the years of fun 3000.
Dana Carvey
You know the one before it was in Minnesota, which I loved the theater.
David Spade
Great crowds there. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
But it was about three years ago and I couldn't hear my opener, Bobby Killing. And he usually does really well. And I'm like, oh, no, they're a tough crowd. I told you this. So I go on and they're like this. And then I'm not doing as well. And have you ever had a show that's important? And you're like, this is going to be a tough set. And we're not just at a comedy club. It's like a tough set when we're filming it. And so I'm working, working. And then I realized they're all in masks, but I didn't know. And so the laughs would be like, haha. But now they're like this.
David Spade
You didn't know the audience was masked?
Dana Carvey
No, they, they. I said, oh, I don't want them. I said. They go, I think that one, you know, because of COVID I go, no, no, I don't want that. But then they never said, oh, you don't have any say in it. And I'm like, oh, is that why they weren't. And I was worried about so many other things. I go, I don't know if it was worth it. I did love. I did like the special. That's not the problem. It's just especially a good crowd, but you can't hear it as much. And so there's more pausing because you're like, but this one's great.
David Spade
That's just. Was not what comedy was built for. As a masked crowd.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
Masks are for robbers or maybe magicians, but they're not for a comedy crowd.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Nate did one during COVID and he had everyone sit 10ft away from each other.
David Spade
Oh, rather than.
Dana Carvey
I don't know if they had masks on, but they were all bad. And it was just. It was still funny. But that's just one. Like, now I get my special. Like, Nate was like, this will be great. And then it wound up being funny. But that's not the ideal situation. You just want a regular comedy. And this. This one was a regular theater. Denver. Two shows, a lot of fun. So that's not even out.
David Spade
Won't be out for a while. It must. It must have been a blast having all that energy come at you. I did one where, you know, it was sort of near a college, and a lot of the kids had free dental care, but in any way. A lot of them apparently had. Had dental work the day that I was going to shoot my special. So a good amount of the audience had cotton in their mouth, and they couldn't really. I couldn't really hear them, but I shot the special. But you ever have a set like that where you come out and they're just not laughing that hard, and halfway through you go, they had dental work today. It's free at the college. And all their mouths are full of cotton. And I go, why am I shooting this special in this sit. But I just held. Did the best I could.
Dana Carvey
I shot a special, and they all. I realized that they all had a pillow over their face.
David Spade
I knew you were going somewhere. We go from mask to cotton. Okay, so why, though, David, let's just follow this scenario. Why would they all have a pillow over their face?
Dana Carvey
Well, that's a great question, because that day was a pillow fight they had on this campus. Then they were so tired, they fell asleep face down in their pillows. But it was still a pretty good show.
David Spade
I did a special in a sort of sketchy area of the country, and everyone in the audience had a hood over there over them. So. Okay, and let's look at a clip.
Dana Carvey
I think we have a lot of clips of that.
David Spade
They're actually the worst special is when the tickets just didn't sell and the whole theater was empty and they not fall. You got to shoot it anyway. You got to shoot it anyway. There was just. It was just one person out there, and his name was David Spade. And I thank you for that.
Dana Carvey
All right, we will go. Should we talk about. No, no, we'll go. I'll talk about next time. Okay. It's nice meeting you, Dana. And this is a really fun one. And let's bring on our guests right Now.
David Spade
Yeah. We have a great guest today. He's been on our podcast before.
Dana Carvey
Ladies and gentlemen, waiting room for a half hour.
David Spade
Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the one and only comedy legend because he's had his fingerprints all over comedy for at least two decades.
Dana Carvey
From 40 year old virgin to Superbad.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
To.
David Spade
To other movies and specials. Anyway, what can't this fellow do? And he's going to tell us about his new charitable events coming up. This is very cool of him.
Dana Carvey
We're going to talk about standup and everything fun and what's this person's name?
David Spade
Judd Apatow.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, there you go. There's a movie I'm watching right this moment that you have seen that I am really digging. It's so called Saturday Night. Now listen, we were both on Saturday Night Live. It's about the first episode. I didn't really know what it would be exactly. And it's really sharp. It shows where everything went wrong that I didn't know 99% of this stuff. I actually recognized people in there that were still working. Herb Sergeant. Is it Audrey Pert Dickman. Is she. Is she in there?
David Spade
She was in there in that time.
Dana Carvey
This thing has got quick lines, a lot of funny throwaway lines and you get to meet every important character that they didn't know it. That was the last night they were not famous. That was very interesting to me.
David Spade
It shows you what a wild ride they took on that first show. It barely gets on the air. The cast is maybe smoking funny cigarettes. It's a looser, weirder environment. It's all done in a set that looks like 8H. It gave me goosebumps. It teared me up. It's very emotional. You think about it. Good Lord. It's still on now.
Dana Carvey
Critics love it. They say it's wild, entertaining. One of the best movies of the year. Certified fresh. The cast, you know, Dylan O'Brien, Willem Dafoe. I love, of course, J.K. simmons, Lamorne Morris, Gabrielle LaBelle, Finn Wolfhard, Corey, Michael Smith, Kaia Gerber, Nicholas Braun. So, you know, grab some buddies. If people, they know snl, they don't know it, you can. This is how it all started.
David Spade
And by the way. And by the way. And guess what they're all playing, you know, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, you know, Garrett Morris and so forth and so on. And J.K. simmons does a hilarious cameo as Milton Burrow.
Dana Carvey
There's Johnny Carson calls them.
David Spade
Johnny Carson calls them. Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah. I can't believe Kid get your shit together.
Dana Carvey
We're always looking for punch up guys when this collapses. It's available to buy or rent on digital now. It's rated R. Saturday night.
David Spade
David. And comedy fans, I assume you are a comedian and a comedy fan. Guess what? And by the way, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour. And you know what, David? You can get tickets to see them live near you. You're going to laugh with some of the biggest names in comedy. Otsuko Okatsuka.
Dana Carvey
Yep. We got Sebastian Maniscalco, who's friend of the show. Got Santino, Andrew Santino, of course.
David Spade
Brian Regan.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Brian Regan is great.
David Spade
Chelsea Handler and Dane.
Dana Carvey
Dane just recently. Swartzen, Nick Swartzen.
David Spade
Nick Swartz, buddy of ours, Sarah Silverman. Yeah. So it's a great list of comedians that LIVE Nation is presenting to you. So don't be square, be there.
Dana Carvey
All kinds of shows, all kind of venues, all kinds of comedy. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.com comedy. Dana, when I walk behind you, I notice you have some lats, a couple of back muscles. I don't know all the names, but it feels like you might be able to row. Do you ever row?
David Spade
I've done a lot of rowing in my life. The rower, the home rower, the rower. The hydro rower is what we're talking about. But it's not a treadmill, elliptical or a bike. Those don't work out. Your upper body, your core, it literally gets your whole body. It's like you're dragging this weight back and forth, back and forth. If you want to give the gift of an immersive full body workout all from the comfort of your home, you need the hydro rower. I think it's a great product. I really do.
Dana Carvey
Hydro first. Yeah. Don't try to ignore your core. Don't ignore the core. I've caught you sometimes ignoring the core, but you can't because you don't want to be on these machines that don't do. The hydro is a go to for the ultimate full body workout. How ultimate? Good question. It works 86% of your muscles, arms, legs, core. Only 20 minutes. 20 minutes and you'll be ripped.
David Spade
I can tell you can really blast yourself.
Dana Carvey
In 20 minutes you're gonna be drenched.
David Spade
And you'll be, you'll be huffing and puffing.
Dana Carvey
It's great for you for sure. That's good.
David Spade
No matter what your starting point or goals are, whether you're training for a marathon or training for life Hydro meets you where you are. Hydro is low impact, David, which means minimal risk of injury. Understand? Hydro also combines strength and cardio. I mean you really could get an amazing just all in workout if you go on that thing for 20 minutes.
Dana Carvey
Listen, the workouts are led by Olympians, world class athletes, top tier coaches, Hydra workouts. They're filmed all over the world, outside. Not stuck like you like boring studios. But this is not where they are.
David Spade
These are outside with the largest library of rowing workouts. Hydro helps you stay motivated and crush your fitness goals. Hydro has you covered with free shipping standard a 30 day risk free trial. Whoops. A one year warranty. So you know, you can put it in the living room in our basement, you can put it out on the lawn. It's easy to move around and then you get your workout in. It's great, you know, it's built well.
Dana Carvey
It's not one of these flimsy machines that I've bought in the past. You know, you like the instructors. It's convenient. Look, give the gift of a full body workout from all the comfort of home with hydro. Head over to hydro.com use code FLY save up to $475 off your hydro.
David Spade
That's H-Y-R-O-W.com code FLY to save up to $475. Hydro.com code FLY Apatow, Apatow, APATow, Apatow.
Judd Apatow
Still don't know you're feeling fancy today.
David Spade
I'm going to call you a legend. Yes, you like that?
Dana Carvey
I'm gonna call you apitudio.
David Spade
You like that? Just for the amount of time you've been part of the American comedy scene.
Judd Apatow
We've been around.
David Spade
That's how you get. That's why you're.
Dana Carvey
Quick question. Enough about your credits. They're plenty. It looks like a CVS receipt. Now Dan had a question about the baseball game. This will be on Friday.
David Spade
It may be over, but I just wanted to make the comment and you can answer the question. Baseball as a sport. If you're going to the guy who makes. I'm not going to pick on Aaron Judge. Anybody who's on a cold streak, you know, 19 strikeouts in a row. Could you take a Judd, a David or me Put us in the same position and then the team would be the same. Nothing would change. We wouldn't get a hit either there's no other sport. Baseball, basketball, you'd be killed.
Judd Apatow
But.
David Spade
Or, sorry, baseball, basketball, football. But in baseball I thought to myself I can do as good as Aaron Judge is doing most.
Judd Apatow
When they get the yips. You know when like someone gets the yips and they can't pitch or what is it?
David Spade
Do you know baseball that well? I mean, you go to the games.
Dana Carvey
Someone said they saw you. Is that true?
Judd Apatow
I went to a couple of Dodger games and I went. And the person who brought me said, these are great tickets. You're right behind the plate. And I'm like, oh, no. Does that mean, like I'm on camera the whole time?
David Spade
Every second.
Judd Apatow
It's just you're at the corner. It's pretty rare. I'm literally in the center the entire game for three hours. Me staring, not wanting to do what I normally do, which is like eat hot dogs and burgers and not pay attention. So I just sat there like frozen for three hours.
David Spade
How far was Jon Hamm from you? What was that? Where's the Rogues gallery of proximity?
Judd Apatow
I didn't see him. I saw Mary Hart. There was definitely some heart happening there.
Dana Carvey
How did she score that directly? She's in like the shot when they show the batter up close, she's like right next to the bat, you know, she's in the tight.
David Spade
There's a fold up chair. If the ump is brawny enough, there's a fold up chair right behind him. And I thought I saw Lorne Michaels sneaking a peek over the shoulder. Just one quick insert here. They know that. So sunflower seeds are big. I understand that. They know they're going to be seeing 50, 60 shots of the coach of the Yankees spitting out sunflower seeds. So they know it's coming. They're going to spit them out. It's just not a good look. I mean, what do you, what do you think about this? Because this is all over the web. I mean, this is blowing up.
Judd Apatow
Well, I. Yeah, that's what I was like on camera. My whole thing was don't eat, don't eat. No understand how much you eat. Because now that they have the pitching clock, the game's faster. So they rush the pitchers to pitch. So the game is like 40 minutes shorter, which means I can't do the third shift of hot dogs. I used to have like a couple the beginning, a couple five innings later. Now I can't.
Dana Carvey
Is there an eating clock?
David Spade
What? You eat four hot dogs in a.
Dana Carvey
Game, you fat ass. Jesus. Dodger dogs are 2ft long.
David Spade
The game means nothing. It's all about the relish and the oyster.
Dana Carvey
It's settling in and eating. That's the beauty. And you probably have a Waitress.
David Spade
Well, that's the best place to have a hot dog is a baseball game.
Judd Apatow
There's hard liquor. You get a seat that's close, suddenly it's. It's. It's full on hard liquor.
Dana Carvey
The thing, Dana, when you go to these games, if everything goes wrong and you're totally bored, you can watch the game, but there's so much other things going on. That's why Judd wants to not just sit there and stare at the game. He's like, oh, my God. Well, I have another question.
David Spade
Super fan, by the way. During the regular season, it's the 150th game the team's in last place, is still riveted by the game. But every sport, and especially baseball, when it. For me, when it comes to the World Series, I'm riveted by every single second. But in the middle of the season, I'm not. I'm not going there.
Dana Carvey
Dips. Dips a little.
David Spade
I love the World Series. I think it's incredible. Judd comment?
Judd Apatow
Well, I think it was shocking to see the Mets play so well and. Oh, God.
Dana Carvey
Oh, my God.
David Spade
Oh, get that pussy cat out of there.
Dana Carvey
That's a preview for cat NATO.
Judd Apatow
I prefer the Mets when they're terrible. Like, when they start winning, I almost start drifting as a fan because when I was a kid, they were always so bad. I love just to be the only fan at the stadium, so I have trouble when they're great. But it was fun to see the Mets play. Well.
David Spade
Yep.
Dana Carvey
Wait, I have a big. This is a controversial question. This is just in at press time, which is way before this airs. But then. And they. The. This chubby, sort of portly, fat guy that. That tried to take the ball out of the glove.
David Spade
I don't know if he was that heavy. We want to disparage his look.
Judd Apatow
That's like me.
David Spade
He was husky. Husky is the most benign word.
Judd Apatow
He had a dad bod.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah. He had dad bod. Farley always said I'm a husky.
David Spade
I know.
Dana Carvey
That's a. That's the size he wears. Okay? So husky guy and his buddy who get. I mean, I get all the hijinks and, hey, it's your team. But when you are snapping, Mookie bets is a clavicle while you're bending his hand back and giving him carpal tunnel and stealing the ball. Fine. And they get kicked out. Fine. But they're back. They're allowed to come back the next game. I don't think they should be allowed. I don't. That Was shocking.
David Spade
If there is a next game in New York, whoops, we don't know. This comes out two weeks from now.
Dana Carvey
No, there is for sure a game after that game. I don't know if there's a game after that game.
David Spade
Well, it's sudden death for the Yankees every game. You know, they have to.
Dana Carvey
You don't care that they're coming back. You don't care.
David Spade
I'm, I, I'm intrigued by both teams. I just think that you can't be that good and not explode like they did last night for 10 runs. And you, Is it, Can you use the word? Are they choking the yips? I mean, in the first three games or just a little bit of luck on the Dodgers side with throwing people.
Dana Carvey
Out and, you know, what's the answer, Judge?
Judd Apatow
One might say, I'm not a big expert on this, but it might be that the Dodgers are playing really well. I mean, as a Mets fan, it's hard to.
Dana Carvey
It's a hot take.
David Spade
That's a crazy. Go out on a limb.
Judd Apatow
I think the Mets, the Dodgers, the Yankees, they're scoring one point, even rooting for anybody. I'm kind of like, I root for players I like.
David Spade
I want Aaron Judge to go crazy. You know, I root for the players because I, my heart goes out to anybody who's on that stage who's that brilliant since he's 10 years old and, you know, watching him struggle like that. So I root for players.
Dana Carvey
I. Listen, listen, by the way, this just in. The Yankees allowed the players to come back, but the MLB overruled it and banned them.
David Spade
Wow.
Dana Carvey
Wow.
Judd Apatow
There you go. Forever.
Dana Carvey
Chad. We don't have a ticker tape here, we just have a couple.
David Spade
We're gonna see similar looking men at the Dodger Stadium, you know, with fake mustaches and noses on, seated in the exact same place. So I think there's more to this story than what we're hearing.
Judd Apatow
Well, they got the facial recognition technology like it matches.
Dana Carvey
Oh, that's right. AI AI finally comes to the rescue. All right, what about Aaron Judge? His life is all green lights. If he's got a little bit of trouble, he'll be fine because he's like six, eight, Is that possible? Six, eight, is that even a number that's possible? Oh, yeah, it is because it's on every girl's Instagram. The guy's got to be minimum six.
David Spade
Yeah, it is kind of weird when you're really good looking and gigantic and then a superstar athlete and worth hundreds of millions of dollars. You kind of like, is there anything that's bugging you right now in life?
Dana Carvey
I know Dana's like crying for the guy.
Judd Apatow
They say that, like, a lot of the reason why people are the quarterback is because they were good looking in junior high and high school and they just kind of keep getting opportunities due to their sexiness and handsomeness to play sexy, privilege, goofy, ugly guy who might have become great. Not talking about by myself, but maybe never gets a shot.
Dana Carvey
He never got in there.
Judd Apatow
And the handsome guys get the shots and next thing you know, every quarterback looks like Tom Brady. It's. It's.
Dana Carvey
Even backups are good looking.
Judd Apatow
Exactly.
David Spade
That's what I love about comedy. You can. It doesn't matter what your mug is. You can have any, any kind of look if you're funny. I it people because I was sort of a cutesy guy for a long time until I reached this stage. I was still adorable. Spade and I were like, you know, well, you don't look funny. I was told that by some manager, you know, you don't look funny, kid.
Dana Carvey
Not funny enough.
David Spade
You know, you don't look funny. You don't look funny enough.
Dana Carvey
I have a question for Judd about the state of showbiz because Judd's got his.
David Spade
Judd has a lot to say or whatever.
Dana Carvey
I just read because we were. We were sort of bitching about how in LA there's not a lot of shooting because. Or at least the wrong kind.
David Spade
You mean.
Dana Carvey
So we.
David Spade
Photography of film production.
Dana Carvey
There's not enough tax credits. Everyone goes to Georgia. We all know this. Judd knows this better than anyone. One of the first things, Judd, when you get a budget of a movie is like, where do you shoot it? Right. Isn't that an early.
Judd Apatow
That's right.
Dana Carvey
It's not always la, unless. Unless the movie takes place in la, right?
Judd Apatow
Well, they always want you to make the budget lower. I think in the old days you could kind of convince them it would be better in la. Now I think they go, just go to Prague. It looks like la, go to Prague. I remember we did a movie in Shreveport, Louisiana with Harold Ramis. And so we did it to get the tax break. And we kept hearing screaming like. And it was ruining all the takes. And we're like, what? What are we next door to? And they said, it's a monkey sanctuary, where monkeys, that's where they live out their day. That goes to make a movie, not la, which has all the good equipment.
David Spade
Do you switch it out and make your film a Tarzan movie, even if it's a romantic Comedy. I mean, you know, you write fast. I mean, come on. We just make it A on the fly jungles, too.
Dana Carvey
Dana, this just in. So they're changing the avenues, is changing the tax credit in LA, because of our podcast, they only had 350 million a year credit. They just bumped it to 700 million. And that's not going to go into effect till next summer. So a year. But I think that's. I think it's okay. It's not enough. When everything is in billions now, everything you hear about is a billion win here, 2 billion, 20 million, 100 billion. So when you still have an M in front of it, it doesn't sound like it's a huge help, but it will help. So I appreciate the effort, but we got a lot of crew, we got a lot of people here that want to work, and they're in the Tinseltown Hollywood, and we got to make it a little easier. We have studios that are all over the place. Don't want them to go down.
Judd Apatow
We need a tax break, which is more than Jessica Alba has in the bank.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. At any given time.
David Spade
I personally, the businessman, artist thing, I'm envious. But when I see people leveraging whatever their career is and then becoming a gazillionaire with different products, it's like, how.
Judd Apatow
Come you never bought, like, a cell service?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I was.
David Spade
I thought I. You know, in the 90s, you couldn't even do a commercial. In the 80s, Hans and Franz were offered Just do it. The first Nike campaign. Just do it. Couldn't do it. Weren't allowed to do it. Well, just forces at play. It's not what we do. And then everybody, it flipped. And now you see even cast members that are out of SNL doing massive campaigns for commercials.
Dana Carvey
So they leave the show to do a commercial comeback.
David Spade
I turned down a lot of commercials and I would have got. I don't. I'm fine. But I would have gone back and done them. Leno was right. Leno did Doritos and people Doritos.
Judd Apatow
I remember friend who left SNL and they did. They did a commercial for the phone company and got paid more money than they got paid for, like eight years on snl.
David Spade
Yes.
Dana Carvey
Well, you know, Dana, I did one for mci. No, I did one for what's in your wallet. Weren't you 1, 800, collect? I didn't. Oh, yeah, I did that too. But when I wanted to collect, where I go, hey, call. And I was on pay for. I'm going to hey, call 100 collect. Beep, boop, boop. You know, I did that anyway. Hilarious. So when I did a Playboy interview, which is like kind of a big interview, not just Playboy, but it's just a big interview. And so Gurvitz called me and he goes, I'm sorry, I'm reading this interview. I'm sorry, I just got a call from mci. You didn't happen to say in the interview you do commercials for 100 collect? But you don't really use that for collect calls. You use Sprint. Did you say that? I'm sorry. All the people that are going to have to give back their millions of dollars take one step forward. That's you, Spade.
Judd Apatow
Do you know what happened?
Dana Carvey
Are you. Yeah, they called and said, we want our money back.
David Spade
And you apologize.
Dana Carvey
I was just saying that.
David Spade
Kidding.
Dana Carvey
There's literally no defense. I was like, I was just being honest.
David Spade
I would just say that it's opposite. In those days, it was like, oh, you do a commercial, you're selling out. No, if you do a shitty movie with a shitty director and that's your face on the face of a shitty movie, that's selling out. Everyone knows when we see our heroes doing a commercial, they're getting paid a lot of money, but this is not their creative area. This is not their.
Dana Carvey
Well, you want them to hopefully be decent. So.
David Spade
Well, that's right there.
Dana Carvey
But they're never going to be a 10 out of 10 usually. So.
David Spade
Judd, would you like a commercial? Judd Apatow for.
Dana Carvey
Would you direct a Super bowl one.
David Spade
And are you right now?
Judd Apatow
Well, here's the thing. I got offered a Super Bowl. Super bowl commercial, and some company wanted to do some sort of variation of Seth and Paul doing. You know how I know you're gay as a Super Bowl?
David Spade
Yeah.
Judd Apatow
And I was like, gay.
Dana Carvey
Would it be. What would it be?
Judd Apatow
I don't think that'll work.
Dana Carvey
I don't either.
Judd Apatow
And they hadn't asked them yet, so I just said no. Like, I don't see how you can adjust that joke to make it work.
David Spade
Right then.
Judd Apatow
I watch the Super Bowl. They're both in it. They made millions. And it was funny. Like.
Dana Carvey
You cut yourself out of the equation. Hilarious.
Judd Apatow
I didn't believe it ourselves.
David Spade
Did you turn. Did you turn the TV off and storm out of the room when you saw that?
Judd Apatow
I was upset.
David Spade
Yeah. The one thing I wanted to ask you, just because I'm curious, because we briefly talked about a little while back, is just the culture of Hollywood in terms of what they'll green light and I know. Now it's it. You just said something interesting that. And it wasn't negative or whiny. It was just sort of like observing that when you pitch things, if it's subtle and kind of quiet, like something like the office or whatever, they want something that can trend or make noise or be noisy as a concept, you know, chimpanzees go on a spaceship and then come back to Earth and, you know, Earth, a kid is alive and is president of the United States. You got it. So how are you navigating that? I know we're going to talk about your standup in a second, but as a filmmaker.
Judd Apatow
Well, I have a new theory which is I feel like everything is like in the newspaper business, if it bleeds, it leads. Like everything is doom scrolling because they don't want you to shut anything off. So they're obsessed with it being really intense. That's why almost everything on the streamers is either about the biggest star in the world or a serial killer.
David Spade
Right.
Judd Apatow
Everything is a thriller.
David Spade
Everything is like intense, hypersexual.
Judd Apatow
Yeah.
David Spade
You know, some actress, you know, like Nicole Kidman, which. I love her shows because they're just.
Dana Carvey
Sexy thrillers because she's in Everyone and.
David Spade
She, she's in a lot. Good for her.
Judd Apatow
It's all like, completion rate. Like, we must have them completed. We could not put on a film if anyone shuts it off. And so there's an intensity to everything, whether it's sexy or exciting or terrifying. And I think it changes it so you don't have quieter, subtler, whatever, funny, human things. Because I think they're afraid people are going to shut it off or not.
Dana Carvey
Sure.
Judd Apatow
Go.
David Spade
Yeah.
Judd Apatow
You lose a lot of good stuff when everything is. Is so wired, you know?
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Well, every tick tock starts with I just got shot. And then you go, really? And they go, let me back up a minute. So I was born in Michigan and everyone's like, oh, my God. And then they never get so, you know, it takes. And I hate when it says wait for it on it. Wait for it so I can make money when it hits a minute. Wait for it.
Judd Apatow
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
So you wait for it. I'm like, wasn't working. Yeah.
Judd Apatow
I think if you have to tell you, it's everywhere. Is this like, Judd?
Dana Carvey
I think when Nicole Kidman comes out at the beginning of amc, she should tell you, in this movie, we want you to watch the whole thing. It's like saying, wait for it. It's like, ideally, stay till the end.
David Spade
Well, I have to say the movie going experience now is bigger and better for me than it's ever been because only in church or in a movie theater are you pretty much required to turn off your phone or basically on take off on a plane. So you go into a dark theater so you turn it off and you're trapped in the movie where you might click away if you had a thousand choices but you hang with it. And then a lot of times though, that was a great movie and it's so peaceful. I pay it to go to a matinee just because I'm in a dark room looking at a screen with thing images.
Dana Carvey
It's fun. It's still fun.
David Spade
You shut the world off. Judd comment.
Judd Apatow
I think there's nothing better than laughing in a movie theater with a lot of people. And we need more. Let's. Let's do more.
Dana Carvey
You know, I miss Judd preview screenings. When it's. When it goes well, it's so fun. See the movie for the first time. Oh my God.
Judd Apatow
You've been working on it for years and you show it to people for the first time. I remember when we showed Superbad for the first time. I convinced Cameron Crow to come to just give us notes if we screwed anything up. And it just killed so hard. It was like winning the Super Bowl. It was just so great. It was so funny. It was like carving an SNL doing by.
David Spade
And guess what and by the way, come on folks, let's get real, real time and God do it. You know. That was a hot. That was a little nerve wracking I thought for the first one. And I think I overdid his walk a little bit when I came out. But the.
Dana Carvey
Did he get shot?
David Spade
You don't see it. I had never seen myself do Biden so I made adjustments. But I was waiting for someone to maybe heckle me and I had it locked and loaded. Get your facts straight, Jack. I was ready for that. But so far the New York Times co signed it. So I'm happy.
Judd Apatow
I remember what I heard it the first time and I said to you, I go look at Dana. Everyone's struggling to figure out their Biden and you have it just nailed quietly in your own little world. And it was the dream that they would have you do it on the show. I'm glad that all worked out.
David Spade
Bizarrely was invited to do it before Biden was before the debate problem. And then afterwards, Lorne Michaels, you'll come in. You know, he just wanted me to be there. But anyway, yeah, it's fun to be able to do a character that's kind of ironically new and then is leaving the stage very soon. So it's like a little, you know.
Judd Apatow
You know what I like about it? It's like, you alpha dog the whole show. You're like, oh, by the way, yeah, I'm still the best one who ever did it. Boom.
David Spade
This is my favorite Superfly episode. So bad.
Dana Carvey
If I think they didn't know they needed a good Biden until they saw it, then they were like, oh, good. This is a great addition.
Judd Apatow
Who would be the other character that you have loaded that you're like, second half?
David Spade
I would love to do James Carvell, currently on those zooms. Leaning over. Yeah. You know, and I like the Southerners. I do like both. We both love Senator John Kennedy. Now, you Tweeted on auction October 4th, your words, not mine, that you would believe. So anyway, that's. Those two. If they were invited, I would. I would try to do a deep, deep thing on them.
Judd Apatow
So no one does rfk. Is it. Is it offensive to try to do rfk?
David Spade
I did it here only explaining what dystonia is. I have a brother with dystonia, and it's just. It's not lethal, but his vocal cords are just constricting, and so that's his voice. It doesn't stop him, but it is all stuck back there, and you have to get used to listening to it.
Dana Carvey
If you think it's just hard to listen to, that's.
David Spade
I get used to it. I listen to him on Joe Rogan.
Judd Apatow
And the ladies like it, so it's not hurting them.
David Spade
Yeah, well, look, he's a Kennedy. They go, oh, did he have anything going on? Well, look at his uncle and dad.
Dana Carvey
Come on with a boner.
Judd Apatow
But as a Republican. Kennedy. A Kennedy. How does he hit on the ladies setting up Dana?
David Spade
I don't know.
Judd Apatow
Let me hear him hit on.
Dana Carvey
How does Trump. It's unbelievable.
David Spade
A Republican Bobby Kennedy Jr. Or I do. Jack Kennedy and Bobby Kennedy from heaven talking about their son. You know, your. Your son is certainly a colorful character. Very extraordinary positions on different issues. I know. I agree. Jack. He dances to his own tune. It's just the same accent, but slightly more Bugs Bunny.
Judd Apatow
Compassionate about. About him. They're not mad.
David Spade
Well, they would be. You know how Jack Kennedy. If you ever want to just be happy, watch. Watch a John F. Kennedy press conference in 1961. Or 2. The charm. And just. It's off the charts the way he was. I see. Or a question. And. And then he would do some Self effacing joke. I mean, what a master of that, you know. So anyway, I don't know how we got here, but where should we go next? But yeah, I'm happy to do other things on the show, but it's been fun to do Biden. And I do try to George Bush seniorize it in that I take liberty. He never said, I can't believe it's not butter. You know, I make it a character and I'm. When I'm doing the character, I like the character. I'm doing like I like doing. I like the character of Joe Biden. That I do. So anyway, that's all I gotta say.
Judd Apatow
He's a nice man.
David Spade
Yeah. I mean, it's a human thing. Neil Young used to say that about Paula. It's a human thing, man. Because when I told him I was going to the White House after snl, we were sitting, I go to the White House to George Bush Sr. He goes, it's a human thing, man. So in the end of the day, all the politics, it's a human thing. And so I would love President Biden to come on and just be fun to do a little thing with him.
Dana Carvey
Judd went to Coachella with Biden. I think Chad hangs to all the celebs.
David Spade
So enough about that now.
Dana Carvey
What about your comedy?
David Spade
What are you doing with this comedy thing?
Judd Apatow
Right now I'm at the New York Comedy Festival. I'm at the beacon Theater on November 9th.
David Spade
You're headlining the Beacon by yourself?
Judd Apatow
I have some friends at surprise guests. Last time I did it, Sandler came and Mike Birbiglia. So this time it's always a secret. But there will be people there that you'll be. You'll be happier that they're there, that I'm there. You're kind of really just hoping I tricked people into joining me. And that's the reason to go. And I can say right now there are people way better than me on the bill. Secret people you'll be excited about.
David Spade
So. But are you going last? Are you headline?
Judd Apatow
Well, that's always the question, isn't it?
Dana Carvey
Because when we do Largo, sometimes it's Judd's night and I'll go on and go over to see Judd and hang out. But sometimes, Judd, you do beginning and then middle and then end, right?
Judd Apatow
Sometimes I do like 20 here, 20 there.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah.
Judd Apatow
You know, depending on how it's going. But I'm also in Atlanta at the Variety Playhouse this Sunday. These are all benefits for hurricane relief. Like David Spade, I've Made all my shows benefits for the Red Cross for hurricane relief. Right, David?
Dana Carvey
That's nice. Yeah, I gave fat ones to the red Cross about 10 years ago, remember? I think you remember because I put out a press release that's so good. They haven't spent it all. They can't spend it all.
Judd Apatow
So you can judd apatow.com events and the one in Atlanta, the money goes to Georgia. And the one in New York, the money goes to North Carolina.
David Spade
That's funny. What's the date of the beacon?
Judd Apatow
1/9 of November, and it's the third in Atlanta.
David Spade
And what day of the week is the 9th?
Judd Apatow
It's Saturday and Saturday after the election. So it could be any kind of night, depending on where you sit.
David Spade
Because I was gonna. If it was a night, I could be there because I will be in New York. But if it's Saturday night, it might be tricky. I was just gonna be in the audience and raise my hand. And then.
Judd Apatow
Yeah. Oh, well.
David Spade
And then come up and do Biden.
Judd Apatow
You have a show that night?
David Spade
Yes, but I happen to be there. And then. Okay, so that's the ninth at the Beacon for the hurricane relief. And then the second ones is on what night of the week?
Judd Apatow
On the third in Atlanta at the Variety Saturday.
David Spade
Right, got it.
Dana Carvey
You know, it's funny when you give money to Red Cross or something and you do a nice gesture immediately after someone like Taylor Swift gives a million dollars, everyone goes and wait, what'd you give again? I go, well, listen, it's all. It all is thrown into the million.
David Spade
Became the kind of bar of like.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, it has to be at least a million or what?
David Spade
You can't be like, I'm gonna give $75,000. And it's like, yeah.
Judd Apatow
And someone else 10 million.
Dana Carvey
I know. That's. That's the problem is that when you do these things, you say like, you're going to do an event, you'll make some money, and then the money just goes there. We don't need to know how much is. It's all positive vibes. It's all going to its thing.
David Spade
But go ahead. Do people give privately anymore? Is that not in fashion?
Judd Apatow
They're not allowed to not brag about it?
David Spade
Okay, well, I could do some red blogging.
Dana Carvey
Why would anyone do anything about it?
David Spade
So I was not posting on.
Judd Apatow
It's like you try to give money to a politician and then Elon Musk gives them $150 million.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's right. It's like when you see someone go, oh, we saw George Clooney leaving this restaurant, and TMZ caught him giving a bum $100. I mean, a homeless guy. I mean a not home guy, whatever it's called. And then they go, oh, well, when there's 18 paparazzi there, I'll give 200. How about that?
David Spade
Thousand for $1,000. Let's talk about trending. Bang. For your buck, you go to a diner with friends or whatever, and you leave $1,000 cash tip. So you're for people that were blessed by America. In our lives, we can do that and that'll trend big, you know. But if you give 500,000 instead of a million for hurricane relief, people are.
Judd Apatow
Like, yeah, yeah, Sandra Bullock gave more.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah, Sandy.
Judd Apatow
Yeah. But when you give a big tip at a restaurant like that, like, then the next time you come back, when you bring it back down to 22%, then you're Dick.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah. They always heard, you know, it's true. Bill Murray said he always. I think he said he had to carry 20s during SNL. Then he. Now it's 50s. Now it's hundreds. Because if anyone gets a little less, they go a little tough out there in the career.
David Spade
Because you're only getting financial.
Dana Carvey
100 every time. Look, when they take my bag down to the car, it used to be the bellman. Then he's gone. Then there's another guy with the trunk open. Mr. Spade, this all good. I'm like, oh, that guy gave it to that guy. I have to dust my bag for Prince to see who I give money to.
Judd Apatow
If you go to the hardware store and on the screen, it asks you what your tip is. What's your move?
Dana Carvey
For buying nails? Yeah. Well, a tip for nails. I just picked them up and brought it here. So I. I just tip half.
David Spade
I just tip half. And when I go to a Four Seasons or that kind of hotel, I pack my jacket with twenties. Yeah. If it's half at a restaurant, I pack my jacket with twenties.
Dana Carvey
Like a magician, fifty percenter.
David Spade
And then any guy leaping valet or whatever, it takes me, usually, which. I'm fine doing this. I know it's not what's going to break me. It takes me about $200 to get to my room. But then I go, well, why not? I mean. I mean, I worked on tips. Did you ever. A waiter or a busboy?
Judd Apatow
I was. I was a busboy. I was a busboy at the east side Comedy Club on Long island because I wanted to watch comedians when I was in high school. First I was a Dishwasher.
David Spade
I had the same trajectory. Yeah, dishwasher.
Judd Apatow
But I couldn't see the show because I was in the kitchen, and I was like, this is a miscalculation. I can't see. It was literally like Rosie O'Donnell.
David Spade
Was it the Hobart 3000 where you'd run it through a thing?
Dana Carvey
The Hobart.
David Spade
Hobart 3000 was my dishwasher. And the dishes would pile up. You'd get no break, and I would eat off the plates that were left over.
Dana Carvey
Would you eat off liquors?
Judd Apatow
I had a friend who was a waiter, and he ate, like, a half a hamburger of someone's plate. And then both his arms got hives, so we all realized not to do that.
Dana Carvey
I ate everything when I was.
David Spade
Hives from a hamburger. I can't connect those dots.
Judd Apatow
Well, who knows what saliva from the.
Dana Carvey
That's what he told his girlfriend.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
He goes. She goes, how'd you get these bumps? He's like, babe, you know, I'm a bus boy. I ate the wrong hamburger.
Judd Apatow
I loved being a dishwasher. I love just having my hands and everyone's melting wet buns and breads and. And it was like a video game because they would dump the dishes, and you had to clean them fast. So the area where the dishes got dumped didn't get too loaded up.
David Spade
Right.
Judd Apatow
And it was like a human video game.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
Yeah. And then you'd stack them, and they'd be hot. You stack the. You know, the bread roll plates and.
Judd Apatow
Yeah.
David Spade
And then you'd have to mop the entire kitchen for the night shift or day shift and clean up for hours after.
Dana Carvey
Oh, when I. When I smell. When I was doing those, you know, you put them on. In the racks, Judd. And you push them into the steamy machine. And that smell. If I cut through the kitchen and you smell it, I just go, oh, my God, I'm so glad I'm not doing that anymore. It's so hard.
Judd Apatow
Oh, I was. I get the opposite. I'm just like, oh, my God, that was so fun. I used to put on Foreigner four and listen to Jukebox while I mop the floor in the morning.
David Spade
That's cool.
Dana Carvey
It wasn't Monday. All right, well, I think that's enough for Judd. He did a great job. We had a lot of fun with Judd.
David Spade
Very.
Dana Carvey
Had his curtains almost closed. He did everything right.
David Spade
Let me just ask you one quick question. Where are you in your standup right now? Are you in shape? Do you have a new thing? Are you. Are you in your stand up or.
Judd Apatow
I do have a new. A new hour, and I think it's kind of interesting. I tell a very long story about taking ayahuasca that leads to a lot of other kind of stories about youthful trauma that is kind of interesting. I usually don't tell, like, a really long story, but this is such a crazy one sometimes.
Dana Carvey
They're good.
David Spade
On this podcast and our other sister podcast, Ayahuasca, mdma, you know, whatever. Neil Brennan.
Judd Apatow
Ayahuasca.
David Spade
I have not. I did mushrooms in my 20s and I thought, I'm good.
Judd Apatow
David. No, David's not. He's not going to do that.
Dana Carvey
He's not risky like that. I did read that you were shopping with Leslie and you were sitting over on the side or something. There's a lot of reports on you, sometimes on the sites. And a photo. And a photo.
Judd Apatow
Although one thing David, you'll relate to is when I took ayahuasca, my back was out and I thought, what if I'm tripping and just start, like, leaping but with a back. And that's why you can't do it, because, you know, your back, your neck.
Dana Carvey
My neck? Yeah. Would it fix it or.
Judd Apatow
It would fix it and it would because it's.
Dana Carvey
I'm sure a lot of it's mental.
David Spade
Were you kind of. Without being pithy, were you fixed a little bit or. I guess it's in your standup.
Judd Apatow
Was I what?
David Spade
A bit fixed? Neil Brennan just said it between ayahuasca and mdma, and this is all public knowledge or whatever. He kind of got out of his depression. Not. I mean, it really helped him. At least last time we talked it.
Judd Apatow
Well, it was. Well, I'm Catholic now. That's the only big change.
Dana Carvey
That's a fix.
David Spade
Me, too.
Judd Apatow
I'm Lutheran.
David Spade
I'm. I'm Lutheran, too. I was raised Lutheran.
Judd Apatow
There you go.
David Spade
Yeah. So, yeah. Okay. Well, interesting.
Dana Carvey
Thank you, Jud.
David Spade
Well, have a nice time in New York.
Dana Carvey
If I like a nice.
David Spade
If I'm not in the show, I'll drop by after dress. Yeah, I could just squeeze over there. All right. Judge you soon. Judd.
Dana Carvey
Stand up is funny. Go see it. I've seen it. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Super Fly, as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade Episode: SUPERFLY #40 - Judd Apatow JOINS! Release Date: November 1, 2024
[00:00 - 04:30]
The episode kicks off with Dana Carvey and David Spade engaging in their signature light-hearted banter about their lunch preferences. David shares his love for a "super Pepsi," humorously describing his method of chilling it with ice to enhance the flavors. Dana concurs, adding her own experiences with Pepsi while traveling, highlighting the fizzy delight it brings to her meals.
Notable Quote:
[04:30 - 10:40]
David opens up about a recent unsettling dental visit where he discovered he needed a root canal. He humorously recounts the dentist's surprising revelation and his apprehension about the procedure. Dana empathizes by sharing her own tumultuous experiences with braces during her youth, detailing how financial constraints led to less-than-ideal dental treatments, resulting in numerous cavities and discomfort.
Notable Quotes:
[10:40 - 15:00]
Dana transitions the conversation to her recent golfing trip in Newport, where unexpected chaos ensued due to a sudden influx of migrants. The presence of helicopters and the ensuing commotion on the golf course provided a comedic backdrop, blending scenic beauty with absurdity.
Notable Quote:
[15:00 - 25:00]
The hosts delve into the personal life of Tom Brady, particularly focusing on his relationship with supermodel Gisele Bundchen. They discuss public reactions to Brady's Instagram posts, interpreting the cryptic messages and analyzing the dynamics of his relationships. This segment blends humor with celebrity culture commentary.
Notable Quotes:
[25:00 - 47:21]
In a highly anticipated segment, Dana and David warmly welcome Judd Apatow, a stalwart in the comedy industry known for his influential work in films like The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Superbad. The hosts praise Apatow's extensive contributions to comedy, setting the stage for an engaging and insightful conversation.
Notable Quotes:
[47:21 - 58:43]
Judd Apatow shares anecdotes from his experiences in stand-up comedy, including his recent work on special performances aimed at hurricane relief. The discussion touches on the challenges and rewards of performing live, especially during adverse conditions. Dana and David contribute with their own stand-up mishaps, adding layers of humor and relatability.
Notable Quotes:
[58:43 - 75:55]
The conversation shifts to the current state of Hollywood, focusing on tax credits and the logistical challenges of film production. Judd Apatow critiques the industry's obsession with high-intensity content, which often sidelines subtler, character-driven stories. The hosts discuss the impact of streaming services and the shift in production locations from LA to other regions like Georgia and Prague.
Notable Quotes:
[75:55 - 86:39]
Judd Apatow details his upcoming performances at the New York Comedy Festival and the Beacon Theater, emphasizing their role in hurricane relief efforts. The hosts reminisce about their early careers, sharing humorous stories from their days as busboys and dishwashers in comedy clubs. The segment highlights the camaraderie and resilience required in the entertainment industry.
Notable Quotes:
[86:39 - End]
As the episode nears its end, Dana, David, and Judd reflect on the importance of humor and community in both their personal lives and the broader entertainment landscape. They share final anecdotes and express their gratitude for the ongoing support from their fans.
Notable Quote:
SUPERFLY #40 featuring Judd Apatow is a rich tapestry of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions about the comedy and filmmaking industries. Dana Carvey and David Spade, alongside their esteemed guest, deliver an engaging and entertaining episode that offers valuable perspectives for both long-time fans and newcomers alike.