SUPERFLY #41 - Jim Gaffigan JOINS!

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade Episode: SUPERFLY #41 - Jim Gaffigan JOINS! Release Date: November 8, 2024

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Overview

In this lively episode of Superfly, hosts Dana Carvey and David Spade are joined by the renowned comedian Jim Gaffigan. The trio delves into a myriad of topics ranging from the intricacies of Saturday Night Live (SNL), insights into the recently released movie "Saturday Night," to humorous takes on political events and personal anecdotes. The episode is rich with witty banter, behind-the-scenes stories, and memorable quotes that offer a glimpse into the world of showbiz and comedy.

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1. Discussing the Movie "Saturday Night"

Timestamp: 00:00 – 01:58

David Spade kicks off the conversation by sharing his enthusiasm for the movie "Saturday Night," highlighting its sharp portrayal of the first SNL episode. He remarks, "This thing has got quick lines, a lot of funny throwaway lines, and you get to meet every important character that they didn't know it" (00:30). Dana Carvey echoes his sentiments, noting the emotional depth of the film, saying, "It gave me goosebumps, it teared me up. It's very emotional when you think about it" (00:42).

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade: "It's certified fresh to cast. You know, Dylan O'Brien, Willem Dafoe... this is how it all started." (01:06)
• Dana Carvey: "J.K. Simmons does a hilarious cameo as Milton Burrow." (01:31)

2. Election Night and Political Commentary

Timestamp: 11:00 – 21:00

The hosts transition into discussing the recent election night coverage, analyzing the complexity of vote counts with David stating, "These little red dots, these are rural voters. These are really, really stupid people" (13:30). Dana adds a layer of humor by proposing a personalized critique of the electoral process, blending satire with political insights.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey: "They think that was the reason they wanted. They didn't like them because they're doing OnlyFans." (19:14)
• Dana Carvey: "Bill really bite anyone. People that want to just go back to the word killed." (21:01)

3. Humorous Animal Stories

Timestamp: 08:00 – 10:00

The conversation takes a lighter turn as Dana and David share funny anecdotes about animals. From trapping raccoons to dealing with mischievous squirrels, their stories are peppered with comedic exaggerations and playful interactions.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey: "We trapped a raccoon the other day in a cave. You got a coon and that whoops." (09:07)
• David Spade: "He strangled a crosswalk guard and then walked away. Isn't it time we put them behind bars?" (16:06)

4. Guest Interview: Jim Gaffigan on SNL and Acting Experiences

Timestamp: 39:31 – 82:38

Jim Gaffigan joins Dana and David to discuss his experiences with SNL, particularly his role as Governor Walsh. The conversation delves into the challenges of performing live, the pressure of live television, and the unique environment of SNL's 8H studio.

Discussion Highlights:

• Casting and Rehearsals: Jim shares his initial nervousness about joining SNL and the rapid adaptation required for live sketches. "It's very unnerving. And there is a sense that this can change in a moment's notice" (48:56).

• Interaction with Kamala Harris: Dana and Jim reflect on Kamala Harris's appearance on SNL, emphasizing the humanizing moments captured during the rehearsal and live performance. Dana remarks, "She laughed so hard. She was bent over laughing" (67:41).

• Comedic Process: Jim discusses the balance between adhering to script directives and maintaining his comedic style. "I think for someone like Jim, a standup, you know, he just knows that there's a rhythm and a musicality to the way you land a laugh" (58:30).

Notable Quotes:

• Jim Gaffigan: "What's more difficult, being on SNL or being president? You know what I mean? It's SNL." (70:41)
• Dana Carvey: "I just did all my Biden hooks." (67:23)
• Jim Gaffigan: "It's a really kind of rewarding experience. It's bizarre." (62:32)

5. SNL 50th Anniversary and Behind-the-Scenes Insights

Timestamp: 41:27 – 65:24

Dana and David discuss the upcoming 50th anniversary of SNL, sharing insights into the preparations and the emotional weight of the milestone. They touch upon the integration of guests like Jim Gaffigan into the legacy of SNL and the dynamic environment of the 8H studio.

Notable Moments:

• Understanding SNL’s Legacy: The trio reflects on the significance of SNL in comedy history, with Jim noting, "It's the last pillar of this significance" (55:27).

• Handling Live Performances: Jim provides a comedic take on the unpredictability of live shows, highlighting the continuous evolution and the need for adaptability.

6. Comedic Banter and Personal Anecdotes

Timestamp: 65:24 – 78:43

The episode is peppered with spontaneous humor and personal stories. From Jim's costume ideas and interactions with Dana, to Dana's experiences managing comedic timing, the trio showcases their chemistry and shared history in comedy.

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade: "Just because we're on the subject, which we're not." (16:51)
• Dana Carvey: "I was over 200 at one point reading for things." (52:54)
• Jim Gaffigan: "You're like, then I couldn't get rid of Gaffigan." (76:00)

7. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Projects

Timestamp: 78:43 – End

As the episode nears its conclusion, Jim Gaffigan promotes his upcoming Hulu special "The Skinny," premiering on November 22nd. Dana and David engage in playful teasing about Jim’s special and future appearances, wrapping up the episode on a high note with laughter and camaraderie.

Notable Quotes:

• Jim Gaffigan: "I just want you guys to know you don't have to plug my Hulu Special, which is the Skinny, which is on November 22nd." (75:59)
• Dana Carvey: "We have editing capability, so you can say anything." (68:20)

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Conclusion

SUPERFLY #41 offers listeners an entertaining blend of movie discussions, political satire, and heartfelt interactions with guest Jim Gaffigan. Dana Carvey and David Spade expertly navigate through various topics, maintaining a humorous yet insightful tone throughout. The episode not only highlights the enduring legacy of SNL but also provides a platform for comedians to share their unique perspectives and experiences in the world of entertainment.

Highlighted Quotes for Reference:

• David Spade: "It's certified fresh to cast." (01:06)
• Dana Carvey: "It gave me goosebumps, it teared me up." (00:42)
• Jim Gaffigan: "What's more difficult, being on SNL or being president? You know what I mean? It's SNL." (70:41)

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Note: Timestamps correspond to the transcript provided for ease of reference.

Transcript

[David Spade]

There's a movie I'm watching right this moment that you have seen that I am really digging. It's so called Saturday Night. Now listen, we were both on Saturday Night Live. It's about the first episode. I didn't really know what it would be exactly. And it's really sharp. It shows where everything went wrong. I didn't know 99% of this stuff. I actually recognized people in there that were still working. Herb Sargent. Is it Audrey Pert? Dickman. Is she in there?

[Dana Carvey]

She was in there in that time.

[David Spade]

This thing has got quick lines, a lot of funny throwaway lines, and you get to meet every important character that they didn't know it. That was the last night they were not famous. That was very interesting to me.

[Dana Carvey]

It shows you what a wild ride they took on that first show. It barely gets on the air. The cast is maybe smoking funny cigarettes. It's a looser, weirder environment. It's all done in a set that looks like 8H. It gave me goosebumps, it teared me up. It's very emotional when you think about it. Good Lord. It's still on now.

[David Spade]

Critics love it. They say it's wild, entertaining. One of the best movies of the year. Certified fresh to cast. You know, Dylan O'Brien, Willem Dafoe. I love, of course, J.K. simmons, Lamorne Morris, Gabrielle LaBelle, Finn Wolfhard, Corey, Michael Smith, Kaia Gerber, Nicholas Braun. So, you know, grab some buddies. If people, they know snl, they don't know it. You can. This is how it all started.

[Dana Carvey]

And by the way. And by the way. And guess what, they're all playing, you know, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, you know, Garrett Morris and so forth and so on. And J.K. simmons does a hilarious cameo as Milton Burrow.

[David Spade]

There's Johnny Carson calls them.

[Dana Carvey]

Johnny Carson calls them. Yeah.

[David Spade]

That was crazy.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I can't believe. Get your shit together.

[David Spade]

We're always looking for punch up guys when this collapses. It's available to buy or rent on digital now. It's rated R. Saturday Night Dan. I gamble a little bit, but I'm so good at it. That's. I tell people, don't worry about me, I'm good. Even though I, you know, I lose a lot. But I go to BetMGM across the socials. That's at BET, MGM. It's a sportsbook born in Vegas. Here's the deal. You got second chance on first touchdown score. So all season long, bet MGM is offering you a second chance on your first touchdown. Bet okay, so you get what's going on. So customer places a wager on a first touchdown score Bet he does not score first, but scores second. Bet MGM will return 100% of their stake back in cash.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, well, well put and well said. You know, I was talking to Paul McCartney.

[David Spade]

Yeah, what are you saying?

[Dana Carvey]

And I said, paul, what is the second chance? On first touchdown score with bet mgm? He says, well, you know, the season can be long, and it lasts the whole time, you know, Bet MGM is offering you a second chance on your first touchdown bet. That's so. So when a customer, you know, they place a wager, a big wager on a first touchdown score, but. And he doesn't score first. He does not score first, but he scores second. Yeah, you get the score not first, but second. We return 100% of the stake back in cash. And that means pounds and quid and all those things.

[David Spade]

That's great.

[Dana Carvey]

So I said, thanks, Paul. That really.

[David Spade]

That's all you guys talked about?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, we talked about. Well, I wanted to talk about the Beatles. But he goes, no, let's go back to this. If you do, the first touchdown score doesn't go.

[David Spade]

We know.

[Dana Carvey]

We heard.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

You get a second chance with the score. Second, you get 100% back of your queen quid and your. And your pounds.

[David Spade]

And your pounds. Listen, Bet MGM and game sense remind you to play responsibly. Bet MGM and game sense remind you to gamble responsibly. See betmgm.com for terms 21 +only. This U.S. promotional offer not available in Ontario.

[Dana Carvey]

Gambling problem, call 1-800- gambler available in the U.S. for New York, call 877-8-HOPE NY or Tex Hope NY 467-369. For Arizona, call 1-800-Next step. For Massachusetts, 1-800-327-5050. For Iowa, 1-800-Bets off. For Puerto Rico, 1-800-981-0023. Subject to eligibility requirements in partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel.

[David Spade]

And your hand could shake. You don't know. You're just like, yeah, it's almost too much. And especially if you've never. I mean, she's giving speeches, but it's a different animal, I think.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Let's be honest, you guys. What's more difficult, being on SNL or being president? You know what I mean? It's snl.

[David Spade]

It's just different.

[Dana Carvey]

Absolutely.

[David Spade]

Okay, I want to start because you can tell me what I do, and I'll tell you what you do.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, I see you do this sometimes. Like when you're thinking or sometimes. God.

[David Spade]

I touch my face sometimes like this.

[Dana Carvey]

The pinky.

[David Spade]

Really?

[Dana Carvey]

The pinky in the ear, I think. Unless I made it.

[David Spade]

That's not.

[Dana Carvey]

Unless I made it up.

[David Spade]

No, but you're. You observe people. I kind of observe voices and stuff on people, which I didn't do before SNL because you sort of had to. You start to pay attention. Yeah. But something you do is this a lean back.

[Dana Carvey]

Yep. And that is. That is a little bit just kind of stretching my back because I'm kind of in a high chair. But yeah, it's probably.

[David Spade]

It's also a psychotic.

[Dana Carvey]

A stress release. Like. Oh, let's not try too hard. Why don't we listen to the guests? Why do we have to overlap?

[David Spade]

I do. I go like this. After I interrupt everyone, I go. I gotta reload to get my energy to interrupt again.

[Dana Carvey]

I listen to other podcasts sometimes. And boy, do they. You know, we are not the kings of talking over our guests. I'll just put it that way.

[David Spade]

Interrupt us.

[Dana Carvey]

Interrupt us. Momentariness.

[David Spade]

Well, my head is sort of. Listen. So my hair is all super helmet because. Why. You might be doing this today, too, Dana. As you know, Dana is in New York. They're doing an SNL photo today and it's in la. It's. I've heard a little birdie to. I think it's because there's too many. They're doing sections. So New York and la, and then.

[Dana Carvey]

They'Re gonna try to make a cover where they jam us all on that. Yeah.

[David Spade]

It's not Vanity Fair, so I'm not. I'm not gonna give my total Blue steel looks. But it is a magazine.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

I mean, it's a Penny Saver.

[Dana Carvey]

You're depending on who. Where you are in the frame. Your head would maybe be the size of a dime, but probably smaller than a dime, a half a dime. So I'm not gonna. You know. And you're supposed to dress like how you are. Right. Would you explain what we're talking about?

[David Spade]

We're supposed to do a photo for the 50th anniversary with people that were involved in the show. But there's so many people. I don't know if it'll be a full cattle call like a Dodger stadium or. It's going to be.

[Dana Carvey]

Isn't it for New Yorker magazine.

[David Spade]

Sorry, New Yorker magazine or New York Magazine. I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that. That's it. New York magazine. Sorry.

[David Spade]

And who was the one we know we famously had the fight with back in the old days, we wanted to beat the guy up. Was that New York observer or was it New York Magazine?

[Dana Carvey]

Probably?

[David Spade]

Do you remember that?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Atlantic or. I don't know what they were.

[David Spade]

They, they wrote. They came and stayed with us for a week and we buddied up with a guy and then he wrote a horrible.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. And just all over, and it was.

[David Spade]

Adam and Farley, and everyone was like, let's go down there. Let's beat the. Out of this. Total disaster. Lauren. No, if so, I'm looking the other way.

[Dana Carvey]

I have a new impression. You just made me think of Lorne Michaels has a bullfrog in a pond, by the way. And guess what? Can I ask you a question?

[David Spade]

Too many. Go ahead.

[Dana Carvey]

We actually, in our pond up on our farm once had a male bullfrog sitting there in the middle of the night on the rocks and just cattle call. A frog call to all the female frog. It's just super loud for like two.

[David Spade]

Hours just trying to get some puss in the middle of the night.

[Dana Carvey]

But look, but the New York magazine.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Open for biz.

[Dana Carvey]

Open for biz.

[David Spade]

We like.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Everyone listening is like, you know, that's funny. That doesn't happen on my pond.

[Dana Carvey]

We trapped a raccoon the other day in a cave. You got a coon and that whoops. And then of course, you go to Harrison's Hardware and you get big intense gloves and you're kind of wrestling with a squirrely raccoon while you were cruising down, going to Koi to get some sushi and you got arrested.

[David Spade]

I like it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

When it's already killed.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. You're cruising high in your Land Cruiser, looking around, pulling up to the valet, walking in like some kind of stud superstar and ordering Ferrari.

[David Spade]

I go, give me that octopi. And half the time when you get to sushi, go, I don't like the octopi. You always see a little. And you go, you know, a good doctor could bring this back to life.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, that's. That's that notion that.

[David Spade]

That's the gross part.

[Dana Carvey]

It brings you to the table and still alive. And then somewhere it. It. Yeah, I don't like it. I like it medium well. I don't like it rare. I don't want to hamburger.

[David Spade]

I don't know if I like this look today, but go ahead.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, here's. I'll. I'll come around to this. New York magazine asked me in the email, would you like a groomer? We have hair people. And also, would you like a personal groomer that we can fly in.

[David Spade]

What?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, groomer. Now a groomer spoiled. You have makeup, you have hair. This is. Sorry inside if you're going to talk show, but a groomer is like an overarching person that tells you how to groom yourself up. I said I don't.

[David Spade]

You know, Heather, what about that? Is that a groomer or is it a. Do you have a stylist, Dana?

[Dana Carvey]

Men, you call them groomers.

[David Spade]

It's the overarching name of it. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

My whole goal is bed head, next day hair, so I don't really need people coughing my hair. You know, when you go on a movie and by the time you get in front of the camera, it doesn't.

[David Spade]

Look anything like you, you go, mine is bedhead hair. I don't care. That's my. That's really my look most days. Today they just went me shellac.

[Dana Carvey]

I think it looks very tidy, very early. Steve McQueen. You know, you look a little biker.

[David Spade]

I'm probably. I'm older than Steve McQueen. When did he delicate?

[Dana Carvey]

48 or 50. He went to the stars.

[David Spade]

God dang. Really?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I had a weird SNL thing. The sketch got cut and I feel bad about it. We had.

[David Spade]

The show was loaded. Kamala was the. I say it wrong. Kamala was in the 28 minute cold opening.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And it was.

[David Spade]

So were you.

[Dana Carvey]

What I wanted to say, because this election happened and a lot of people are upset, which is normal. And it was pretty much decided by 2am, I guess because I went to bed and I was like, sleep 12 or something my time in New York. And then I woke up and I was like, I checked and it says Trump wins. And here's my takeaway from the coverage last night. Did you watch any of it? Maybe you didn't.

[David Spade]

I did watch some. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

They have these guys and I know they've done this for several cycles now, but it seems more sophisticated. The guy's up with the map and he's like a wizard moving things around. And here, you see in Calico county here, Joe Biden carried 28,000 and Kamala Harris, the metro. It was like just this massive intensity. Yeah.

[David Spade]

There's so much going on. Yeah. More than. More than ever. Like little circles. Little circles, little counties. These counties. This is how they voted. This is how they will vote. This is what we think they'll vote. Very complex. We're going to talk, you know, when we have Gaffigan on in a little bit. He was taped right before the election. Just so we are Clear. We are talking right after.

[Dana Carvey]

And election night. He was taped before election night that day.

[David Spade]

So he. If we don't mention that he didn't.

[Dana Carvey]

See the Magic man and see these big blue circles, that means a lot of young college voters could be coming in late over here. But these little red dots, these are rural voters. These are really, really stupid people. And they live way.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it's so true.

[Dana Carvey]

They kept it pretty neutral. I think they. Both of them seem very scientific.

[David Spade]

Cnn, these hayseeds out here. Yeah. I'd flip back and forth because I sort of want to get a real gauge. Some talk one way. It's funny because sometimes they don't count. You know, they don't count anything officially as far as a state for a while. I kind of like if they wait because there's too many that can flip, it's too close, you know, they'll say.

[Dana Carvey]

Like 10 things in a row that looks like the state's gonna be won by Kamala or Trump could go. But what I said means nothing. Anything could change. Don't listen to me. Let's just give it away. But these counties are not going. And then they put Biden versus Trump 2020. And here, you see the metrics here. He's up one and a half percent over this time. Last time, I mean, it was amazing. I was exhausted. It's really hard on me.

[David Spade]

I do look forward to the. It's hard on you. The political ads going away.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you choke up political.

[David Spade]

I. No. I turned into rfk A Political ads going away.

[Dana Carvey]

It's like someone who's really sad, for example. So I'm just really upset about the political ads going away.

[David Spade]

Started crying. No, I choked on something. But, yeah, the political ads and the local ones.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. Prop 47.

[David Spade]

Bill Squankmeyer killed someone. Oh, you act like you didn't know that. You know, we vote for him if you want to die.

[Dana Carvey]

Proposition 119 to help the children. Don't you want to help the children?

[David Spade]

Mary Wang doesn't want you to know she beats her babies. She has 11 babies and beats the out of them. You didn't hear it from us. Mary Wang really doesn't know a lot about this hat.

[Dana Carvey]

Bill Campbell likes to climb mountains and throw rocks on nursery school kids. Do you want to stop Bill Campbell, Prop 111 because.

[David Spade]

Stop throwing a kid going like this. He built a roller coaster that exploded at the state fair. Then he laughed. They show him. Is that who you want? Oh, you want that guy? Oh, okay.

[Dana Carvey]

He strangled a crosswalk guard and then walked away. Isn't it time we put them behind bars? Proposition 1,348, because it's time.

[David Spade]

Do you remember when Jim Jenkins put a nun in a sleeper hold? We do. Here's a clip. Vote for him if you want. I don't know about you, I don't want to go into a guillotine hold.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you remember. Do you remember when Cassie Wood flying slapped her pet duck in the face?

[David Spade]

This. This ad paid purpose.

[Dana Carvey]

This ad is against duck slapping. Paid for the committee to duck slapping.

[David Spade]

This. This ad was paid for by the duck.

[Dana Carvey]

Tired of seeing.

[David Spade]

Tired of seeing rabbits bullied.

[Dana Carvey]

This ad has paid for their dawn.

[David Spade]

Rabbits probably bullying rabbits now.

[Dana Carvey]

They can just real fast. Okay, go ahead.

[David Spade]

I have to show you a picture. Just because we're on the subject, which we're not. This is a mystery picture I just got because, you know lojo, Lori Jo, who's been working with Norm forever, she's going through his stuff. She just sent me pictures. It's kind of a tear jerk. It's just funny because I have no idea what this is from. Here's a funny. Here's a funny picture. I go, laurie Jo, I don't remember this, but Norm really fell apart at the end. Is that Norm? No, I said, this is a rubbing face. This is. I don't know what. I'm by trellis. Is that what it's called? Heather?

[Dana Carvey]

All I'm saying when I look at this, because of the stories I've heard, when a chimp goes full chimp, you are in danger in that picture, sir. If that chimp decides to turn and eat your face in one second, there's not a thing you could do or who's ever off camera. So you gotta be careful.

[David Spade]

He says, I have the strength of a much bigger chimp than I am. By the way, he has pants on, so he's sort of domesticated. But I'm holding this. And she said, there's another picture of Norm holding another chimp. I'm like, where are we? Maybe this is when we went to the zoo and taught animals how to do standup and sketches. I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

I've been around chimps, but I don't remember holding one like that for a photo.

[David Spade]

I'm holding it wrong, but I don't even know how. I'm. Where's my arm? I don't know what's going on.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you have friends who look at.

[David Spade]

How terrified I am who dress up.

[Dana Carvey]

Indigenous chimpanzees into clown Clothes and then hold them for photos. Pay for the people who want to keep chips dignity.

[David Spade]

I don't know about you, but if I'm a chimp, I don't want to look like a jackass. Paid for by chimps that don't want to look like jackasses.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, okay. That was a good one. Made a chimp look like a jackass. I don't know what the third is there. There's got to be a third.

[David Spade]

I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

Jackass.

[David Spade]

Also, there's a big hubub. If we're going into stories about. It's sort of political.

[Dana Carvey]

There's a lot of stories.

[David Spade]

The squirrel. This is a tough story for Heather here. This is a tough story for anyone to hear. The squirrel was. Was euthanized because. Oh yeah, New York's decision to seize SEIZE is rough too. That reminds me, I got to get a power crunch.

[Dana Carvey]

So the New York decided to get one specific squirrel.

[David Spade]

Why do you know this story?

[Dana Carvey]

It said, I've only heard about Peanut the squirrel, but I didn't know they're euthanizing him in New YORK when there's 10 million squirrels, why this squirrel, by the way?

[David Spade]

You kill an animal, that's the front page. People will flip out. So understandably, there was a squirrel. They called in that it bit someone. Heather or might have bitten someone.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, turn rabbit or something.

[David Spade]

So they say, oh, in fear of rabies. And then they got there. First question they asked, do you have any cameras in the house? Why? I'm getting to the juicy part. They also found a raccoon took that euthanized that. They said in case people have rabies. And it's like crazy. So now I think I got that right. But now the guy says they asked if we have cameras because the neighbor was mad. They do only fans. So they were looking for a reason to bother them and they didn't like that. And I don't know, I'm sort of making this up, but they were. They think that was the reason they wanted. They didn't like them because they're doing only fans, like a couple or something. I like how I have not one fact, not nothing. Nothing. It's a fascinating but I will say they. I know it really petered off at the end, but. And then I thought is the guy getting attention for the only fans even though the squirrel is a national story?

[Dana Carvey]

Intention.

[David Spade]

Everyone is.

[Dana Carvey]

You need attention to trend on only fans or everything. We just don't do crazy stuff. We would never hurt an animal to get ratings. On our podcast Newsflash. Secondarily, who decided to call killing an animal euthanizing an animal? Bill. Euthanize.

[David Spade]

Bill.

[Dana Carvey]

Euthanize. Invented the word euthanized. So people, I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty good. He wasn't killed. He was euthanized. Paid for people to want to stop.

[David Spade]

Bill really bite anyone. People that want to just go back to the word killed. Okay, let's go to the stories then. Because should we or what do you want to talk about, Danny? You know, everyone I think at some point has problems with credit. I have, my family did early on. I'm sure that's a relatable situation.

[Dana Carvey]

Absolutely.

[David Spade]

And we've probably got listeners that are in the same boat. This is a way to, you know, boost your credit. And you wish you learned it sooner because it's never too late.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh yeah.

[David Spade]

All of a sudden this is like a creative idea.

[Dana Carvey]

You see a little house, a starter home, you want to buy it and you know, and you're struggling with credit. It's hard to get a loan. So it is kind of a grown up thing. And you know, if you're buying a car too, all kinds of stuff.

[David Spade]

Moving into a new park, right? And Kickoff simplifies credit building with plans that are fast and easy and they safely jumpstart your credit when things seem impossible. This makes it feel possible, which is all you really want. No credit check required. It's not for everyday spending. This is to help build, just build your credit, which is really what you want. You have other things for that.

[Dana Carvey]

And by the way, and guess what? And by the way, and guess what? Users with credit under 600 increase their credit by an average of 28 points in the first month. And that's a big leap in that world. Kickoff is smart, legit credit hack with no catch, no credit check, no hidden fees and no interest. David.

[David Spade]

And by the way, it's. You can start building credit immediately for only $1. That's for your first month. Autopay helps you build credit while you sleep. Never worry about missing a payment. You can sign up for minutes on your phone, which is always the easiest. No credit check. You can bail out and cancel anytime you want.

[Dana Carvey]

Build your credit fast. With Kickoff, the best credit billing plan to jumpstart your credit. Get your first month for a dollar. That's a dollar, a dollar that's 80% off the normal price. When you go to getkickoff.com superfly today.

[David Spade]

That'S kickoff without the C. Get K I k o f f.com Superfly must sign up via getkickoff.com superfly to activate this offer. Offer applies to new Kickoff customers first month only, subject to approval. Average impact of 28 point increase in the first month is based on Equifax Vantage score 3.0 changes for Kickoff customers with starting credit below 600 who have made their first on time payment between January 20, 21st and March 2024.

[Dana Carvey]

Payment and credit activity outside Kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Terms and conditions may apply. Offer subject to change. Individual results may vary David, at this time of year I'm just going to say this and you can, you know, say whatever you want. Of course maybe you're looking back on all the amazing memories you have from 2024, especially if you are in love. Maybe you already looking ahead to your plans in 2025. I'm doing a French accent. I'm doing a French accent because that's the language you love. And maybe, just maybe, those plans involved with getting engaged.

[David Spade]

Listen, for anyone about to take that momentous step, I recommend sourcing their engagement ring from blue nile.com Now I will say the closest I've been to being married is when my when I engaged my abs at Pilates this morning. Engaged my core.

[Dana Carvey]

That's like a good Johnny joke. The closest you've been to being married is when you engaged your abs at the at the station, the local Pilani station. No, seriously folks, Blue Nile is the original online jeweler since 1999. On blue nile.com you know what? You can create a bigger, and I'm going to say it, more brilliant piece than you can imagine at a price you're not going to find anywhere else.

[David Spade]

David, that's Blue Nile offers a diamond price guarantee, which means that in most cases you can meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond and you can feel great about your purchase because they're committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. Feel good about that too.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes, I'm just going to say it again. This is easy. This makes getting a diamond ring not stressful. Or any kind of ring for your loved one or someone you want to get engaged to. Also bonus. David, I don't know if you know this. Blue nile also offers 100% satisfaction guarantee with guaranteed.

[David Spade]

I knew that.

[Dana Carvey]

Free shipping and returns, then guaranteed service and repairs for life.

[David Spade]

Life. Crazy life. And don't worry, every Blue Nile order is insured, arrives at packaging, it doesn't give it away. In most cases it can be delivered overnight just in Case you want to make one more unforgettable memory of 2024, right now, go to blue nile.com and use code FLY for $50 off your purchase of $500 or more.

[Dana Carvey]

That's $50 off with code FLY@blue nile.com blue nile.com Michelle? Nope, it's not. Not about you. Just. It'll be a surprise.

[David Spade]

All right, I'll tell you about my Halloween costume idea.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

It's not Jason Kelsey. It is. Picture this idea. It's for. It's for the 40 plus crowd. So I have scraggly brown hair about down to here, and I have like a striped shirt on and a Coke spoon around my neck, and I go, is Peppermint Chatty? Hey, man, what's going on? How's your Halloween going? I'm gonna start working out. You know who Peppermint Patty is, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, Peppermint Patty. And. Okay, I see it now. Can we have a picture of this?

[David Spade]

No, I'm just saying I want to go next year as Peppermint Chatty.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I see.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, there it is.

[David Spade]

What?

[Dana Carvey]

Now?

[David Spade]

He looks young.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. No, this is Trump during his speech to claim victory in the presidential thing. I mean, he just was really rested. He finally took a. Took a really wrong nap. I took a long nap and I couldn't believe it, and here I am. But I guess that's actually Trump. Someone sent this to me. I guess it's Trump as a little kid. Or is it a kid who looks like Trump? Or is it Photoshopped?

[David Spade]

Or is it AI? Or is it none of the above? Let's go to the phones.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, Mom.

[David Spade]

What?

[Dana Carvey]

I can perfectly.

[David Spade]

Trump's.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. It's too. It definitely has to be. You're right. It's a com over and the kid is one. You know, I'm doing terrific and I could use some milk. And you know how I like it. I like it the regular way. So let's get busy. Mom, you know how I do these things and you look at it and you see.

[David Spade]

Yeah, you know how I do these things also. What did he. Oh, he said in his speech, he goes, and I'm not going to rest. I'm like, I think you need to rest a little. Because he's older and he's been campaigning for straight for a month.

[Dana Carvey]

He's got. I saw a little mini doc of when he said, I'm going to run for President 2022. And he was almost. You could hear the crew stifling laughs. Oh, come on, man. You're so over.

[David Spade]

Come on, guy, don't put us through this.

[Dana Carvey]

It is the most you got. I mean, you just can't. He's like radioactive. You couldn't kill him if you tried. Unbelievable. Whoopty whoopies.

[David Spade]

All right, you have a picture of. Let's go back to Jason Kelsey.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, we can trend on this one.

[David Spade]

Well, these guys are, of course, our buddies. Jason was on the show, so it's a very serious picture. Is that his new headshot? I don't. I don't mind it. So he's wearing that Madonna microphone. So he goes to a game. Of course, I know nothing. He goes to football, college game. He's leaving. You know, when you leave, people come up and talk to you. But also to get clout. Some people start trouble, of course, because getting in a situation with a celebrity is way better because you're going to wind up minimum on tmz. So for good or bad, just want to get attention.

[Dana Carvey]

So he used a slur referring to his brother. And I would say this from observing and having Jason on the Kelsey brothers, like, if it was. If it was right on Jason, I don't think he would have gotten tweaked by it. But when you attack my brother, I don't. The Kelsey's go full Kelsey at that point. And in this case, the guy is compared to a regular human being. He's exceptionally strong. Like you would not want him to punch him.

[David Spade]

What are you doing?

[Dana Carvey]

So it's an act of kindness to take his phone and smash it, as opposed to your young man's head.

[David Spade]

Sure. And I think I saw the story and then Jason fought back and it sort of went badly for everybody involved. Fine. But I get mad like that too, and I think there's not enough attention on the guy that did it. Like how uncool that was. They're just more me saying, jason, are you sure you apologize? Should we accept this? But look at the instigator of everything. Who's. I don't know. He got his phone broken. Who cares?

[Dana Carvey]

He said something tall and out of the blue to fuck with him to get a reaction. But you saw him walking until he said my brother. So it's kind of a thing. He ain't heavy. He's my brother. So don't mess with my brother is what I'm getting from them. And also, if you're going to yell something out of Kelsey and you yell at the other brother, you go to Travis and you say something about his.

[David Spade]

Brother, you're going to get Similar situation.

[Dana Carvey]

You're going to get something. But the cell phone was an act of kindness rather than a right cross to the face. Because, you know, when you're £270, you can. You really hurt people.

[David Spade]

You know, I have that and that. And the thing is, people are on.

[Dana Carvey]

The street sometimes and they'll yell david Spade. And whatever pejorative. And, you know, I go. I go nuclear.

[David Spade]

I'm scrappy nuts.

[Dana Carvey]

I go low. Then I go high. I'll take three to get in.

[David Spade]

They say, dana. And I say, yes. And they go, oh, are you Dana? And then it gets confusing. And then I take their phone, I try to lift it, and then I throw it.

[Dana Carvey]

One guy said to me, whatever.

[David Spade]

Whatever.

[Dana Carvey]

Whatever happened to David Spade? And I slapped his face really hard, but nothing. And that was our manager, Mark Gurvitz.

[David Spade]

I was kidding. I just want to add one simple question. Why doesn't Spade like money?

[Dana Carvey]

Why won't he get in the rocket ship and fly for 12 hours in a snowstorm?

[David Spade]

Likes money.

[Dana Carvey]

Apparently you don't.

[David Spade]

Rob Lowe likes money.

[Dana Carvey]

We have to make. I think Mark would like this. We have to make. We each have them little puppets of, like a little frog or something like this. It kind of looks like our manager. Yeah, you family don't make money because it is like a puppet show at this point.

[David Spade]

You go, mark, I'm flying around the globe three times. I got a globe. My office doesn't look that big.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, trust me. It's like, trust me, trust me. You're going to like it when you get the check.

[David Spade]

But I go, I thought it was going to be more money. The landscape has changed. That's a good one.

[Dana Carvey]

It's not good out there right now. Everybody's getting hurt.

[David Spade]

I go, really Smartless is getting hurt. Not them.

[Dana Carvey]

Everybody's taking me. Taking a haircut.

[David Spade]

They're not making. What you think? I go, I think they. I think they're doing fine. Everybody's getting a haircut. That's a good one, too.

[Dana Carvey]

Everybody's getting a haircut. Everybody. Everybody's taking less. Everybody's taking less.

[David Spade]

All right, next story. Even though Mark's the funniest one.

[Dana Carvey]

Who's the funniest?

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah. How are we done?

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. Another Kelsey story.

[David Spade]

Okay. Oh, this is another Kelsey story. This is. They made. I think Heather knew. Did you know this? They made a Hallmark movie, but based on Taylor and Travis.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, okay. Some third party. Not them.

[David Spade]

Okay, let's look at the pic. I don't think they're part of it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I see.

[David Spade]

Oh, no. They make them look like an idiot right away. Why would a great looking football player have a chance? He's the best receiver in the world. Get his number.

[Dana Carvey]

It's her. It's fine. I want to see you again.

[David Spade]

Like regular people.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Huh?

[Dana Carvey]

Don't screw this up.

[David Spade]

I promise not to fall in love with. Oh, of course. There's an imaginary little sister.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm with you.

[David Spade]

The more I really.

[Dana Carvey]

I just can't believe they got a documentary crew to follow him around like this. It's so spot on.

[David Spade]

We're trying to keep this lathe squam.

[Dana Carvey]

Blombler in a flam production.

[David Spade]

Is this the whole movie? My God, look at how much she looks like Taylor Swift on stage.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, boy. I'll tell you what, they would never make this with just comedians like us and a pop star. He's funny. Get his number.

[David Spade]

Yeah, he tackled her down and married her. But I'm sure in this movie they get married. What do you think?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes, because they want ratings and they want money. They like money.

[David Spade]

See, people on Hallmark like money.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's ask Heather. Heather, what do you think of having a boyfriend who's like 6 8, 2, 660 as your boyfriend? And he can pick you up, throw you over his shoulder, swing you around, throw you in a stroller, you know, I mean, in the stroller, is there.

[David Spade]

Are you asking, is it good that he's a football player or that he's huge or that he's rich?

[Dana Carvey]

Like, he just carries her out on stage like a little baby and she's like fighting. She's not, you know, and he says, don't drop the baby. Which is kind of sweet, you know?

[David Spade]

Taylor, go ahead.

[Dana Carvey]

Three, you know, so, Heather, weigh in on the size of the man. I'm not talking about something where ladies.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Like to always feel a little bit smaller.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Can you hear that? Ladies like to smell. Feel a little smaller than the guy with that.

[Jim Gaffigan]

But as long as it's consensual.

[David Spade]

Oh, she says, is it consensual? We don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

I think it's consensual between Taylor Swift.

[David Spade]

And what if it wasn't in this Hallmark movie that that's where they kind of go wrong.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. He just turns. It's time for me to score a touchdown. What?

[David Spade]

Now she's in. Now she's a hostage in his basement.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Where's. Where's the pop star? He's like, I don't know. You shoes with you? No. And then the cops, like, he opens.

[Dana Carvey]

The trap Door and looks down. You'll get fed tonight.

[David Spade]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dana Carvey]

No football player.

[David Spade]

If they spun it like that, I'd probably watch most of it. A little Silence of the lambs in there. Keep it exciting.

[Dana Carvey]

I wish them all the best. They have to be. If you take Trump as a metric, as a metric of resiliency. No matter what's thrown at him, he just keeps coming the world attention on this couple. Just think of them as. It's Taylor and Travis. They're just dating. You know, they're just Arby's and this and go with it and not go crazy. It's good on Storm. Yeah, Too many cameras. Got to get away.

[David Spade]

Listen, when people know you're dating and everyone comments, it's already hard. And then add that times, well, it's a Hollywood story.

[Dana Carvey]

So it's that handsome football star, you know, world class super bowl winner. Just what women like in a man. He is, you know, and then she's supernaturally talented and beautiful. It's like kind of a fairy tale and we're all pins and needles. I talked to Chapel Roan about it at the show. She's. She's a huge fan of our podcast.

[David Spade]

Where is she? Why don't she lean in? This is where she's supposed to lean in.

[Dana Carvey]

I just made that in case she's listening.

[David Spade]

Did you, did you talk to her? Do you go up and go, hey, do you act like Biden the whole time when you talk to people?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, yeah, I mean, we talked with.

[David Spade]

Well, yeah, I do.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I mean, they want to hear the Biden. You know, I ran into some nice people, had some nice things to say at the party. I don't want to name drop Jon Stewart, but it doesn't matter who was there. But people, you know, Biden's a new character that's about to leave the stage, but I think he should walk around the White House with a T shirt that says 81 on it.

[David Spade]

What's that mean?

[Dana Carvey]

Because in 2020, he got 81 million votes and Sweet Kamala got 66 million. So he should just have a t shirt. It's 81. What does it mean?

[David Spade]

It should say 81m and then under it. You like that?

[Dana Carvey]

How about just 81 million? Why are we hiding? Pretending?

[David Spade]

Yeah, you gotta help people a little bit. Yeah, 81 million.

[Dana Carvey]

I would have wanted. I would have beat him like a drum. I would have wanted people know. Come on. I'm being serious. I would have beat him like a drum. I did it before.

[David Spade]

You could do that this week. On the show, you should be in your room with a cigarette going. You know what.

[Dana Carvey]

People can do? The one index finger tap of the ashes. Because he'd think mostly. And it's kind of like that or something.

[David Spade]

I guess somebody doesn't want to win.

[Dana Carvey]

But, you know, it's just. It's. Everything's a human story. I don't know how it feels to lose the presidency. Trump knows how. He got a little angry about it. He knows how to win, though. He's had that twice, you know, so.

[David Spade]

Looks good on the res.

[Dana Carvey]

Hopefully tomorrow he won't say it. I just changed it. I talked to the Supreme Court, and I could do three terms starting now. I'm going to 90. I know how to be 90, and I'm going right there.

[David Spade]

All right, one more story, and then we gotta go because we got a good guest.

[Dana Carvey]

We gotta. We have a really good guest today.

[David Spade]

We got a really good guess. Here we go.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, let's see.

[David Spade]

Okay, this is just a goofy one. So this guy is gonna try to walk through this hula hoop. Big shoulders.

[Dana Carvey]

Trying to get through a hula hoop.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Ain't no way, bro. Ain't no way.

[Dana Carvey]

Big shoulders.

[David Spade]

Okay, you can turn the volume down.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, here he goes. He's a big guy. He's crossed himself.

[David Spade]

He puts his sweaty sweat napkin in his hat, and you're doing it blindfolded. Oh.

[Dana Carvey]

He'S creeping up on it.

[David Spade]

Oh, okay. That's pretty good, right?

[Dana Carvey]

It wasn't even hard.

[David Spade]

It wasn't even close.

[Dana Carvey]

This guy say he's blown away.

[David Spade]

He's. He said Nabro. He's perplexed as we are. This is the highlights of the world's Instagrams. That's out there. That's a good, harmless one.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it didn't look like he could fit through. And then he went back and he went through fast, and he leaned down a certain way. It's kind of like when you're moving a refrigerator, a couch through a door frame, and some reason, you know, you have to lift it up and it creates more vertical space or, you know, just something, you know, I'm talking.

[David Spade]

I saw you do this once when we were going to dinner and someone had a hula hoop, and you had your pile of money you carry, and you go, do you think it could fit in there? And everyone's like, no. And then you, like, squished it.

[Dana Carvey]

You go, look.

[David Spade]

And then a lot fell out.

[Dana Carvey]

I know, I know. Well, that's when you got me that Dr. Seuss cap for Christmas. And Paula said, what are you going to do with it? I go stuff cash in it and go, go to a restaurant with David.

[David Spade]

But it's Scrooge McDonald.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a big Dr. Seuss thing. And I put lots of 20s in there.

[David Spade]

It's just money.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And then.

[David Spade]

All right, well, let's get Jim out.

[Dana Carvey]

Here because we're, we can always, we have editing capability. Jim, coming up next.

[David Spade]

You're our buddy, but you get to work with him lately.

[Dana Carvey]

I worked with him for the last five shows on Saturday Night Live. He came in, had never been an 8H, never done sketch comedy as. We'll talk all about that and how he found his governor Walsh and you know, his character lost the election, but he didn't lose the election because that guy is a winner as a sketch player and a comedian and a hell of a nice human being.

[David Spade]

New Hulu comedy coming out on November 22nd. We'll talk about that. Here he is, Jim Gaffigan. Let's talk. I have a different shirt on. Robert Half, research indicates nine out of 10 hiring managers are having difficulty hiring. If you have open roles, chances are you're feeling this too. That's why you need Robert Half. Our specialized recruiting professionals engage their skills with our award winning AI to connect businesses of all sizes with highly skilled talent in finance and accounting, technology, marketing and creative, legal and administrative and customer support. At Robert Half, we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com today. Now, the holidays are coming up. I don't know if you know this, Dana, but it is October and then.

[Dana Carvey]

It will be November and then that's the holiday season.

[David Spade]

Yeah. We include Halloween in that. So between traveling, having your family around, we've teamed up with Ring and it's helped them.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

You know, because Ring cameras, which everyone knows, everyone knows that that's a household product at this point. You want to catch these merry moments because there's a lot, a lot of times I see online there's funny videos and a lot of them are from Ring cameras. People leave the house, something funny happens. So you always have that. So. But from ring doorbells that alert you when gifts arrive at the door, to indoor cams that let you check in on pets to see if the creatures are stirring at home.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. You can check in on your lovely.

[David Spade]

Dog with alarm kits that deliver peace of mind during your holiday travel. Ring has your whole home covered wherever the season takes you. You're always home for the holidays with Ring. And I have, you know, ring cameras. I think almost everyone does, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And you can talk to your dog right through ring.

[David Spade]

You can do whatever you want. You know, we have people come to the door and it doesn't even. You don't have to be home. You just talk to them and say, hey, man, you know, just rob the place.

[Dana Carvey]

If someone's at your door, you know, they're there. I mean, it does seem very good if you, you know, want to stay in touch with loved ones.

[David Spade]

Yeah, they're easy to install. Even Heather can do it. I can't, but Heather can do it. Who install?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, Heather did.

[David Spade]

Yeah, he just plug it in. No, you just, you place it anywhere you want. You can have a couple, you know, it turns off the mic. If you want, you can adjust it. You know what I mean? And then the old, that's indoors, you could do all that. And then you got the video doorbell, which everyone knows.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Someone's at your door. Bing bong. You hear it. You can answer the door, speak to delivery people.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, right, exactly. You can see a high up and down low with the head to toe video. So you kind of really, you know, and tell them where to leave the packages. What can't it do in terms of this?

[David Spade]

I like that. Head to toe. That's a good description because I don't want to just see this. I want to see what am I dealing with here. So head to ring.com to find the latest deals on ring video, doorbells, cams and alarms and shop gifts for everyone on your list.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a good gift, David. And comedy fans, I assume you are a comedian and a comedy fan. Guess what? And by the way, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour. And you know what, David? You can get tickets to see them live near you. You're going to laugh with some of the biggest names in comedy. Otsuko Okatsuka.

[David Spade]

Yep. We got Sebastian Maniscalco, who's friend of the show, got Santino, Andrew Santino, of course.

[Dana Carvey]

Brian Regan.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Brian Regan is great. Chelsea Handler and Dane, Dane. Just recently. Swartzen, Nick Swartzen, Nick Swartz, buddy of ours, Sarah Silverman.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. So it's a great list of comedians that LIVE Nation is presenting to you. So don't be square, be there.

[David Spade]

All kinds of shows, all kind of venues, all kinds of comedy. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.com comedy.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Hey, you're bad mouthing me.

[David Spade]

No, he's saying you're better friends than me and him are already.

[Jim Gaffigan]

What's going. You know, Dana has been like my support animal.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I've got a few laps under my belt. But I do say this, and I've said it before, it became a catchphrase as Hans and Franz. Whoops. It looks like the student has become the teacher. I used to say that to the junior varsity sometimes. Chris Rock or you or Sandler. The student has become the teacher. Jim is a quick learner, but the first week he texted me because you. Let's just set the scene. This is Jim Gafka. He has 11 specials. He's world famous. He's incredibly successful. Great standup, great writer. So anyway, after. Now that's out of the way now.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

He came in green going, hell, I don't know nothing about no scares.

[David Spade]

What are you doing here?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, I never done nothing like that.

[David Spade]

What's this? Microphone?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Why do they call it a script?

[David Spade]

Is it live?

[Dana Carvey]

No. Now you. Do you.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I didn't know what to do. I met that Lauren Michaels. I thought it was going to be a woman, you know.

[David Spade]

Hey, Lauren.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I thought all I know is Lauren Green.

[Dana Carvey]

He came up to me and you said, I remember. I quote Zachary. Well, Mr. Dana Garney, what should we do next?

[David Spade]

What going on? This here's a big building.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Sure is crazy. It was so bizarre.

[David Spade]

Yeah. You've never hosted. Just so the people know, you haven't hosted. So it's all new. It's all new.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm good enough. I'm not good enough.

[Dana Carvey]

Whoops. Keep your phone nearby.

[David Spade]

This is a long audition. This four weeks, it's.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It's a microcosm of the entertainment industry. Right. It's just every emotion that a performer might feel, they have felt it around SNL like everyone desperately wants to do it. Everyone goes through emotions where they. They feel like they should be there or. And then they feel like they're being ignored and then they feel like they're embraced and it's just a blanket. Every gener generation alive today knows about snl. It's amazing turn out this was that.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I was. Thanks me.

[David Spade]

Just saying, you're just at the end of a question, we tell you that's your limit. You know what's funny is Greg Little Wayne said, he said the super bowl halftime show was ripped away from me. And I think that made me think of what Jim said is there's everyone in Hollywood at some point thinks SNL was ripped away. They're like, if they don't get asked, they feel like, this is the year I've done enough, they should ask me Right. Kind of like that.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. It's such a unique because in our lifetime in comedy, it's the last pillar of this significance. It's like, even the status of obviously HBO is great and I would love to do an HBO special, but like, it's like, compared to like when I was in my 20s, an HBO special was enormous. I mean, huge. You know, hosting the MTV Video Awards was like an incredible event at one point, and SNL has remained. And let me read these other things that Lauren told me to say.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you want to start linearly? Do you want to, like, you got the call to do Walls, Governor Walsh?

[David Spade]

Yeah, sure.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, whatever you think.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know.

[David Spade]

I mean, everybody coughing.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, well, what I would say is, of course, when he was picked by Kamala, I say Kamala because I'm friends with her now.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I call her Cam.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And once he was picked as the running mate, every dopey, out of shape white guy after Steve Martin turned it down was kind of like, what about this guy? And of course I, you know, I would love to do it, but I also know that because of the prestige of snl, it's. It's not something that you can necessarily campaign for. Does that make sense?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So it's, it's definitely.

[David Spade]

You look thirsty. You just hope they find you. Right?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yes. And so my manager was talking to some. Someone, and at one point I was shooting a movie, you know, one day a year on a movie, and in. In the UK actually. And so then he called me and he said, hey, you know, I've been talking to this person about you for Tim Walls. And I've been saying that you're sending me videos of you, Tim Walls. And I go, really? And he goes, yeah. So now they're kind of saying, can I see those videos? Like, oh, so you want me to? And it was like 10 o'clock the night before. I was doing One Day on a movie. And then I kind of just went around my hotel room and put on a jacket and took off a jacket and put on a sweater and things of Tim Walls, which is essentially I'm. I'm portraying my brother Mitchell, who lives in Indiana, who has a very Chicago accent, is just like a guy and. But I thought that was funny. And normally for me, whenever I get that close, I definitely don't get it. Like, whenever I test for a sitcom, it's just Marvel Movie because life's hard for me.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I was 200 at one point.

[Jim Gaffigan]

What's that?

[Dana Carvey]

I was over 200 at one point reading for things, but go ahead, David.

[David Spade]

I said, you also have a lot of shows booked and also sometimes managers. They told me we have the same management team, and they told me, hey, we're talking to these guys about this movie. We're talking these guys about this movie, and it's between you and another guy. I'm like, what movie? So that's happens where it's like they're pushing, and then you're not even aware if you want anything or not. I haven't. I had not read the movie. I don't know what the movie's about. They're going, it's. It's looking pretty good, though. It's looking pretty good. I go, what is. But that's like, you. They're like, by the way, you got Walt's second question. Do you want to do it?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Of course.

[Dana Carvey]

I think you should do it. I know that's the funny thing is.

[David Spade]

Like, what if you said, I have no interest in that? And then you. They go, oh, now what? We do.

[Dana Carvey]

And by the way. Yeah, go ahead.

[Jim Gaffigan]

By the way.

[Dana Carvey]

And guess what?

[Jim Gaffigan]

It's. It's snl. So it's. I mean, I guess it's. You guys have a different perspective on it, but it's this elusive thing that has been always out of my grasp. And, you know, you know, as an American comedian, that's the. You know, the measuring stick used to be like, oh, you're a comedian. Have you been on the Tonight show? Or have you been on Letterman? And, you know, have you ever been on snl? You know, and I did a short Jack Handy thing a million years ago, but.

[David Spade]

Oh, wow.

[Dana Carvey]

Love Jack. That's interesting casting.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

You know, snl, this is probably of all years, the year to do it. And the 50th is a big year and an election year, which is always big for Saturday Night Live. So the combo platter is a big, bigger deal. You know, massive fun. You got to be a part of.

[Dana Carvey]

This one massive global pickup with this show.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

It's crazy how.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Viral everything, particularly the political thing on snl. It's like, there's the people that watch it. But now we're in this clip age where then the clip goes. You know, the Daily Beast posts about it, the Drudge Report posts about it. It's almost, you know, it becomes unavoidable.

[David Spade]

I think Deadline, I follow Deadline, I think Deadline on Twitter puts every single sketch on. I never knew that. I mean, usually on a Monday, you'd see what's their funniest thing they did and they would show a clip and it gets out there on Yahoo News or whatever. And now suddenly it's everything on my feet. I can see for sure. Every sketch, even update, it's like boom. As they're coming out. Boom, boom.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know if this is true, but I think Ariana Grande, it was like the show and then 350 million across all platforms. You know, TikTok everything so that it matriculates. I still. People just watch the first episode, you know, texting me. Yeah, I saw that. You know. So anyway, so I meet. We meet. You're coming in 8h for the first time. The read throughs are now in 8H. They used to be in a little room upstairs, basically, and it's set up with 40 people. There's tablecloths, there's cars, like an Oscar party. There's piano, there's music. And it's kind of. I was a little nervous. I was coming in doing Biden for the first time. That was the read through we were at. And you were reading. And so how did that feel? Because that's the first time you kind of hang it all out. You know, here comes Jim's take.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, it's very unnerving. And there is a sense that this can change in a moment's notice where, you know, Lauren could be like, I didn't really like that. You know, I mean, and. And that's not to say that he's attaching an opinion to it. It's just the reality. So there was something of like, you know, I canceled all these stand updates. I hope they don't change their mind.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Jim Gaffigan]

But yeah, it was.

[David Spade]

Well, they can tweak, right? You know, you, you take your take on it. It's like a movie and then they get with the directors or people around or the writers and they say, could you. I mean, I'm just guessing. I don't know what happened. But sometimes they will play with it a little bit until everyone agrees this is the right feel.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, I was surprised at the amount probably because there's just so much happening so quickly there, particularly in the cold open, feels separate from the show in some ways that I feel like Dana and I were like, well, because, you know, these head writers, you know, are juggling so many things and the last thing you want to do is be a pest. And so it also doesn't serve your needs to be kind of like, what about this? Every two seconds? So there's Dana and I are like, are we crazy about, you know, like, if you do catch someone's ear, you want to be very precise with an idea you have. You don't want to just be jawing their ear off because, you know, also, they've been. They haven't slept for three days. So it's.

[David Spade]

Yeah, you pick your fights. You go, I. Can I just change this line. You have to have, like, a plan. Like, can I just. This is my most important thing. Instead of going. It feels a little wonky. They're like, it'll be great out there. And then you're like, oh, shit. I didn't really specify what. What I needed.

[Dana Carvey]

I think they've been pretty good, all in all. But I know what you mean. There's a lot of different inputs into that cold open and the political environment, it's moving in real time. But I think for someone like Jim, a standup, you know, he just knows that there's a rhythm and a musicality to the way you land a laugh and as waltz. So I kind of encourage you just to say, take it or leave it. Leave it. We always. We don't try to push, like, put this in, but sort of suggest it. And a lot of times they're like, glad, like, oh, great, now one less joke. We don't. We don't have to fix it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

So it is kind of nice, but. So I watched you throughout the week get more and more confidence, because then we go down. We're on our feet, we're kind of walking through it, and, you know, you're kind of feeling a little better or how are you?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Like, it's, you know, it's also. Yeah, it's. It's strange, but it's. There's also nothing more fun than trying a new joke. Right. So there's nothing more rewarding. But it is. It is very strange. And it's also. But you're also, you know, you're inserted into this All Star lineup, right, With. With Dana and, And. And Maya and Andy and so there is. Yeah, no, it's. It's. It's fascinating. It's just. It's just so weird how there's. It reminds me because there's been different times when I've been hired for different acting jobs and you have a couple lines. For me, I'm such an obsessive person that whether I have two lines or whether I have, like, 10 pages, all that will take up all my time. I don't know about you.

[David Spade]

It's like, sure, I just want to get it right.

[Dana Carvey]

I think I have never seen you in all these. These five weeks not holding the script.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. And whereas, like, I think Andy, Amber, I don't think he even looked at a script. He was so.

[David Spade]

He's. He's good at it. Yeah. He knows what he's doing.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Just the cards. Right.

[Dana Carvey]

Which.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And I think after the first week, I was like, I do have to read the cards. But, you know, also, as a funny person, you. You know, it's much more important to get the sentiment of the joke or the point of view of the joke than the exact wording. But, yeah, it's so different because it's also, as we all know, as standups. You go up there by yourself. You're the writer, director and editor. So if you're, like, not feeling it, you could just be like, I don't want to do that right now, and.

[Dana Carvey]

You can move on.

[Jim Gaffigan]

But when you're particularly in such a.

[David Spade]

You have, like, 80 eyes on you on this one. Like, yeah, you know, what's he doing?

[Jim Gaffigan]

And then you want to be, you know, obviously, you want to be respectful to the other performers and to the writers and. And, you know, I think when, you know, it's like, different if you have your own TV show, you can sit there and go, no, I'm going to say this. Whereas you want to be respectful of everyone here.

[Dana Carvey]

It was interesting on the cold opening, the first show where we were ostensibly top secret, not revealed. We would go in secret ways to the building. Who's going to play who on this thing? And then it was very gratifying to watch. You know, when you came out just with that kind of energy and doing the prayer hands and this. And then they. They would. For Andy, too, they would kind of like, it's Jim Gaffigan. And then it would just really. And I was sitting back on the couch going, well, that's kind of satisfying. They're like, we're so happy it's you doing Waltz. It's a great, you know, boost. Yeah.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So, yeah, such a. A really kind of rewarding experience. It's bizarre.

[Dana Carvey]

And the one with you and Bowen side by side, that. That came together on air, that had some great moments. That was a killer section in there.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. And I love. I love the. The. The last. I actually love the last minute aspect of it because it reminds me of, like, when you're about to go on stage during stand up and you have an idea or you're on the subway and you have an idea that adjusts a joke that You've been working on for, like, an extended period. And it's that adjustment that really helps, because I was just always watching Tim Wall's videos, and I would see him do a behavior, and then I'd be like, all right, I'll bring that in. Because, again, there's so many moving parts. It wasn't like people were like, tim Walls does this. Can you add it? It was. It was left up to me, you know, which I know surprising.

[David Spade]

You know what? Everyone's so good that as an outsider watching, you know, I would say, give it to Gaffigan, give it to Maya, or give it to Dana. And then they're gonna get at 98% there because they're such perfectionists in their own comedy that it's kind of nice that you can hand it over. And, you know, it's going to be pretty much what it's going to be. And they have so much on their mind. I think it's great that you're working on it, because you want to just every time they see you, it's a tiny bit better. And they're like, oh, he's been paying attention. Because we have other 22 sketches and all the other millions of things going on. And then if Kamala comes, they have to say, oh, now it's more security, more hassle, more confusion. I guess, wasn't it? I mean, I'm guessing.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, gosh, yeah. Speak to that. Just that whole evening, it's, you know.

[Jim Gaffigan]

There'S times when, I don't know. I don't have a machine gun. I don't have an ar, but to walk down the hallway and there's like six guys with machine guns. You're like, I don't know if we need six.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, I thought it was more like 12 or something. Feels.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It's like, I'm a pragmatist. I'm like, I'm not a gun guy, but I think a handgun would be more practical. Here.

[David Spade]

You don't want to catch. Catch some.

[Dana Carvey]

They seemed to be 6 foot 5. They had helmets, they had flak jackets, big boots.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And then night vision goggles.

[Dana Carvey]

Night vision goggles. And then this assault rifle or machine gun or whatever it was, and, you know, I'm dressed as a tomato. Like, hi, fellas. I never felt they have those goggles.

[David Spade]

Because they saw in the itinerary, it's Saturday Night Live. They're like, bring the night vision.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It's also, you know, And I don't know, because they were all very nice. Very professional. Very professional.

[Dana Carvey]

Absolutely.

[Jim Gaffigan]

But you could also get a sense a little bit. They're like, oh, my gosh, we're at snl.

[David Spade]

You talk to him like London guards. Are you allowed to talk to them?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, I mean, they were, they were. But, like, when she came down the hallway, I delete. And then Dana, you got to hang out with her, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I mean, well, first of all, when I was walking down the middle, those guys dressed as Biden, I just instinctually did a little salute, like I was the commander in chief. So it was all very. Just, when is she coming? How is she coming? I mean, everyone was waiting longer, and we needed to fit in a time for her to rehearse with Maya. Just. So we're waiting to do the notes. We're in 8h. It. There's a tension and a sensitivity going on, a quietness. It was like an exotic tiger was coming. When is Kamala coming? And she comes in and she turns and she gets a huge smile on her face. Looks all around 8h and go, oh, my mother could see me now. And then kind of under her breath, she goes, of course she's seeing me now. I thought it was very sweet.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, wow.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And so if we want to jump ahead afterwards, I was going down the hall. She'd done the cold opening, and it was a very. Whatever your political thing is, it was a very human moment. The way the audience, the emotion of the audience for her in that studio for about two minutes, couldn't help but, you know, kind of, well, you up. I mean, it just was sort of emotional. And then she's down in the. Maya's dressing room. Her people go, oh, take a picture. Because I was still dressed as Biden. And then I came in and she kind of went, hey. And so I had about a minute face to face with her, and I just did all my Biden hooks.

[David Spade]

No, I'm not kidding.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm being serious. She laughed so hard. She was bent over laughing. So that was kind of a. Interesting. So, you know, I guess she. She sees all of this from a different point of view, you know, but it was kind of seemed cathartic or something. I don't know. People seem to like it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No, it. I thought was really interesting because when they did the very brief rehearsal and it was a long dress, so it was. It was not like there was an abundance of time for any of this.

[David Spade]

Oh, was it between dress and air, her rehearsal?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that was like close to 11 o'clock or something. Oh, that's.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And then they did the Meeting after that. And so. God dang, when they did the. And they didn't even rehearse the whole scene. They just rehearsed her and Maya. And by the way, Dana, if I'm saying anything, I'm not supposed to say, you guys have to cut.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, we have editing capability, by the way, so you can say anything.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, what I thought was really interesting, and this is just me being paranoid, is that Maya has such a presence and, you know. You know, blood of ice. And I mean that as a compliment, is that I was like, oh, my gosh, what if, you know, Maya's been doing this in this room for years, right? And then this person who's been on the campaign trail who, you know, having come in five weeks earlier and was intimidated by the setting, by the live setting, even though I'm a standup comedian and a great actor.

[David Spade]

But.

[Jim Gaffigan]

But when. When I was like, is Kamala going to. When they do that mirror thing, is the status of Maya going to kind of be a disservice to Kamala? I don't think it was, but it entered my mind, like.

[David Spade]

You mean a super pro.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yes. Whereas just, you know, Maya just is so, you know, such a home run hitter and just like, never strikes out. That is the juxtaposition. Is that going to end up being a disservice to Kamala? And it didn't end up being that way. It actually, I think that it really kind of. I think that Kamala appeared very warm and very, like. I think it was a really important humanizing moment here. Let me tell you what Lauren also wanted me to say. No, no, but it was. It was one of those things where I was like, oh, wow, she really. She really hit it out of the park.

[David Spade]

I think Kamala, you know, it was. Held up her side because she's not an actress, and she's coming in, like, on the fly. There's really almost no rehearsal. And so it is fucking scary as shit. Even if, like, you said, we've all done it, if I was sitting there, I'd be freaking out, and your hand could shake. You don't know. You're just like, yeah, it's almost too much. And especially if you've never. I mean, she's giving speeches, but it's a different animal, I think.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Let's be honest, you guys. What's more difficult, being on SNL or being president? You know what I mean? It's snl.

[David Spade]

It's just different.

[Dana Carvey]

Absolutely. We just want the audience to know how hard. But, you know, I Think that you're talking yourself in the mirror was the conceit. And it's been done a lot, but it was very maternal in a sense. And in the end, Pamela Kamala, give me your hand. And it was written not in a hectic way. It was kind of slow and casual and relaxed in the way Maya was so supernaturally comfortable.

[David Spade]

I gave her good jokes. I mean, those. It was not too long, in my opinion, because I didn't know anything about it. You know, I didn't ask Dana for any spoilers. And I thought the Pamela was the first big lie. I was like, oh, that's great. And then they did a few plays on words.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And then they sort of ended it. And it was like, oh, good, it's not dragging out forever. It's not, you know, classically like, oh, they went too long. It's like, oh, great. Tight get to say live New York, big ending. Get out. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And surprisingly, it was a. It was just a very friendly audience. It was. It was. Who would think? But it was. It was a. You know, I. I've said this. When I went to do the George Bush Senior White House, I was sitting with Neil Young at the party telling him that, and he just said to me, didn't even. It was in an apolitical thing. He goes, oh, that's a human thing, man. That's a human thing. So it was like, whatever your political stripe is, it was this woman who's been. Now is running for president in this room being kind of awestruck and some ways, and then having that sort of reaction. It's just like you're. It was. It was hallowed grounds for a moment. It was like the only SNL can capture these kinds of moments because everybody knows it's live.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. I mean, it's particularly in this year where I think the most important media piece was not these traditional media things. But I think her appearance on SNL was significant. You know, I mean, like, compared to, like, the. Some of the media hits that historically would, like. I don't think they would even contemplate having her appear on, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And anyone who sits there and the part where she asked Maya, do I really laugh like that? And she says a bit. You know, anytime a human being can laugh at themselves a little bit, the likability quotient or the relatability quotient goes up. So, yes, it was a home run, as they say. But will people vote differently because of us? I mean, you and me in particular, or did we reorientate Western society.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

[Dana Carvey]

It says here in my calendar, reorientate Western society. But everything is kind of nice when the reviews I casually. I don't possess on them. But now you cannot. I think it was New York Times or something. You can't imagine anyone else playing waltz after seeing Jim Gaffigan was one of the ones I read, you know.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. That's very nice.

[David Spade]

Well, thank you, Jim, for talking to us. And I'm not leaving.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm here for another hour. We're gonna do three hours, David, is that all right?

[David Spade]

Yeah, fine with me.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you have a problem?

[David Spade]

I run out of stuff.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You're like, then I couldn't get rid of Gaffigan.

[David Spade]

I'm still a hostage.

[Dana Carvey]

He smokes cigarettes now, and he's so comfortable. And young Cass will come up to him, go, Mr. Gaffigan, Mr. Gaffigan, could you help me with this? He goes, get on my face, kid. I got better stuff.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I call everyone kid.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Jim Gaffigan]

By the way, I just want you guys to know you don't have to plug my Hulu Special, which is the Skinny, which is on November 22nd.

[Dana Carvey]

You have a stand up special on Hulu? Yeah, and it's called. And when is it premiere?

[Jim Gaffigan]

The Skinny now. Jason special. Recently. Jim, we're trying to get rid of you, so if you could just wrap it up.

[David Spade]

No, get your. Get this in. A Hulu special, is it November 22nd, is what you said?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yes.

[David Spade]

Is that. Am I reading this right? Am I reading this right?

[Dana Carvey]

All these streaming sites. Your words, not mine. How do you pick between Netflix, Amazon and What's it called?

[David Spade]

What's there?

[Dana Carvey]

2B.

[David Spade]

Is that a real one?

[Jim Gaffigan]

John, you know he went to Harvard, too.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. He's a TV character. He's like Columbo or something. I mean, I want to do him on the show. I'll just say we've been doing it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Brilliance to his kind of.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, the fumbling paper. I read something here. Could I get this up again?

[David Spade]

Am I saying that right?

[Dana Carvey]

Am I saying you tweeted on October 7 that you would kill all people.

[Jim Gaffigan]

That studied at the John F. Kennedy School of Public Relations?

[David Spade]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

He's clearly very bright, but it's hysterical.

[David Spade]

I see squirming in your chair a little bit. But this is.

[Dana Carvey]

He knows. He set the trap for the guests.

[David Spade]

And it's so funny.

[Jim Gaffigan]

He talks like he's in the movie Mississippi Burning.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you're.

[David Spade]

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

[Dana Carvey]

Now, do you think how much you think of A cost to end climate change. But what about, I don't know, $100 trillion?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Who's the congresswoman from California who has charts? Let me ask you this. If you had 425.

[David Spade]

Katie. Katie.

[Jim Gaffigan]

She's like. She has her whiteboard.

[David Spade]

She's so funny.

[Dana Carvey]

I love the. I love. No matter what's going on, I don't.

[David Spade]

Even know what's going on. I just laugh.

[Dana Carvey]

Randall with Fauci. Hysterical. You, in fact killed millions of people. Are you prepared to apologize?

[Jim Gaffigan]

By the way, it was. I know David wants to get rid of me, but it was. I thought Tim Kaine was great. I got to hang out with Tim Kane afterwards.

[David Spade]

I promise you, I thought it was Tim Walts when he came out. That's how dumb I am. I go like this.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I did a photo with Tim Kaine and we look the same. We look.

[David Spade]

By the way, it's a bit of a deep dig because he's Irish to your casual viewer. You're like, there's some 24 year old kid going, oh, that really is. What's his name?

[Dana Carvey]

Kim Shane, Vice presidential nominee.

[David Spade]

I ran into show one. Very funny game show.

[Dana Carvey]

Was a great sketch.

[David Spade]

Smart monkey was very funny. Dan Boola, of course. Very funny. Monkey in space.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it's some great stuff in there. John Mulaney.

[David Spade]

Jim's like, I don't get to watch the whole show. I'm really lasered in.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm already drinking bourbon after that.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Oh, you got your bourbon on the rocks, though.

[Jim Gaffigan]

On the rocks.

[David Spade]

Do you remember the name of your bourbon?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Father Time.

[David Spade]

Father Time. You're right.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you remember at the party when I saw your cheeseburger and I said, I gotta get something to eat and.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Didn'T I offer you half of it?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it was like a petite. It was a slider. It was the size of a silver dollar.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Pasta.

[David Spade]

They ripping off cast members with sliders. That's the big story.

[Dana Carvey]

I did get the pasta, but guess what? In this first world, problem around 4am the waiter comes up, oh, sorry, the kitchen is closed.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, no.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Dana's Venmoing Jim 25 cents for pickles here.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think that. I think that was my last episode because I was only contracted for that time. But. Oh, no, parties are amazing. But I'm so wrecked the next day. It's not like I'm drinking so much. It's just staying up till 5am 5am.

[Dana Carvey]

Is when I turn the light up, you know, because it's just a lot of your friends. You want to. You Want to say hello to Marty Short or Jon Stewart or. Yeah, but it. I'm still tired from staying up that late. Yeah, a little bit.

[David Spade]

Oh, you get home when everyone's jogging and you guys are driving home in your limo.

[Jim Gaffigan]

These are just the. This is just the behavior of someone with a severe drinking problem getting home.

[David Spade]

At 5:00am Jim, do you think you'll still go to the parties if you're not on the show just every week?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think I would. It would be too weird. I mean, I'm. I feel out of place even when I'm on the show, being there, so I know I won't go.

[David Spade]

Have you secured an invite to the 50th anniversary?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Have you guys been invited?

[David Spade]

Jim, it's complicated. Yeah, I'm gonna talk to Gurvitz.

[Dana Carvey]

You'll have to watch. I told Lauren that you have made YouTube videos in a hotel room about how you would be at the 50th. So you're gonna have.

[David Spade]

I'd like to see one of those videos.

[Dana Carvey]

Here I am at the 50th, being nice to everybody, and here I am introducing Coldplay.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No, that would be.

[Dana Carvey]

I've got a sneaky feeling that we're not done with Mr. Let's do on Site of Sliders.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, here's what. One thing that I would add. Even though David's trying to get rid of me, I was There was Dana. Weren't you secretly hoping, like, I was like, oh, hopefully Tim. Tim Wallace will do something like, oh.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, his pants fall down or something.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, some news. I don't want him to humiliate himself. He'll, you know, be in some. But there's competing for attention. And even when he would, you know, like, I think in a different time, like him even playing Fortnite with aoc, that would be newsworthy. But we live in such chaotic.

[David Spade]

All right, that would have been a good one. Who would play aoc? Who plays AOC on the show? Heidi.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think Dana would. Dana would play Dana.

[David Spade]

You got Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

I got an A. Dana.

[David Spade]

Ripping off characters from Chasm. That's mine now. Thank you.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Like, I want to do other things. Take a job from someone.

[David Spade]

Yeah. It feels weird because no one there at least looks exactly like Tim Waltz. If you walked by, a customer looks just like him. And he goes. He goes, hey, how you doing, man?

[Dana Carvey]

To me, Tim Walsh has been not around that much, and I just saw a speech or two or whatever, so I couldn't. I. When I see you, I see it's Tim Walsh. You know.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, no one knows the idiosyncratic speech things. He has. I mean, you have the prayer hands and pounding the heart and then some of those.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Because he does the ear thing. And Lauren was like, get rid of the ear thing.

[Dana Carvey]

No, too much to Carol Burnett. She would go like this. Or, you know, Lily Tomlin used to go, one ringy dingy, two ring.

[David Spade]

Do you want a big chair like Lily Tomlin, too? Come on. What are we doing here?

[Dana Carvey]

You could play. Tim Walsh is a 5 year old. Put a hairpiece on you. No, you'll be back and I will lobby. It doesn't matter. But I think you. I think you should host. The audience clearly loves you and you're. You're kind of iconic at some point.

[David Spade]

Host at some point, right?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I mean.

[Dana Carvey]

And you're mostly white.

[David Spade]

I'm.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, I'm.

[David Spade]

You're 120 white.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm mixed. I'm Irish and Scottish. Whoops.

[David Spade]

You all right? You're gonna say goodbye because I cannot say it. So I've just been sitting here because I'm. They told me our manager said, you get him off that fucking thing at 30 minutes or we'll go dark. And I'm like, we'll pull the plug. I'm like, oh, my God. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.