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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
Dennis Larry is going from warmonger to cheesemonger in the new Fox comedy Going Dutch. Larry plays a legendary colonel put in charge of a non combat US army base in the Netherlands full of soldiers who are a little different than what you'd expect.
Dana Carvey
Danny Puti from Community is the colonel's second in command and the base captain is the colonel's estranged daughter, which obviously complicates things.
David Spade
Don't miss the new Fox comedy Going Dutch, premiering Thursday following a new season of Animal Control on Fox.
Dana Carvey
Anyway, we have a best of 2024 episode.
David Spade
David Woo yeah, we sweet cobbled together some garbage. I mean some great stuff from this year. And listen, we had a really fun year on Superfly. I have to say I had a great time and we got a lot of people watching. We got some people on YouTube so stoked about that. Lot of comments and we just kind of rotate in and out different people. Sometimes you don't have a guest.
Dana Carvey
Sometimes you do a lot of fan interaction.
David Spade
A lot of fan interaction.
Dana Carvey
Fan interaction. We must have done at least 100 hours of podcasting.
David Spade
Seems impossible. It seems like too much. Seems like no one could do that.
Dana Carvey
Yes. And now we've distilled it down to the very, very our very favorite moments. We got Gronkin Edelman, the superstar football player.
David Spade
Edelman. Yep.
Dana Carvey
They're the Dr. Greer, the UFO expert.
David Spade
UFO uologist.
Dana Carvey
O x ologist. Dr. Greer created a lot of. A lot of. Picked a lot of pickup with his. Yeah, a lot of chatter about controversial take on aliens. We've got. Speaking of that, we've got Nate Bergazzi.
David Spade
Nate Bargatz Yeah, he was very funny right off Saturday Live. He came in the next day.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
And talked to us.
Dana Carvey
He still was dressed as George Washington.
David Spade
Yeah. When he came in all day. And then Danica Patrick, who was very interesting. Different guests for us. She was fun. I don't even know who else. We're just putting the kind of a best of. So if anything, you missed anything, or if you want to see it again, check it out.
Dana Carvey
And Jon Lovitz will make an appearance.
David Spade
Oh, yes. Love it. Of course, we love, love it. So wouldn't be it without them. So here you go. Merry Christmas, happy holidays.
Danica Patrick
You have no idea how much of a pain in the ass it was to fit me in a car, because we had. We had to usually put, like, something to raise my feet up so that I could get closer to the top of the pedal so that I was putting my feet on the right spot again. I think it's because it's like, ironically hailing here in the middle of summers, and it's like, sunny, but a couple clouds, but it's truly hailing outside.
David Spade
I thought it was one of those things where you say to the dog, if it doesn't. If it feels like it's not going well, start barking. And then I'll say, I have to leave.
Danica Patrick
Yeah, that would be actually quite the skill set. It's like a good date. Marshall is going to get a beer for them. If I could get the dog to, like, get me out of jail free card in uncomfortable situations, that would be a major skill set. But anyway, so turns out I had the balls to do it.
David Spade
So you had the feet long enough and everything?
Danica Patrick
Yeah, yeah. Got the car fitted to me. So it was. It was definitely. There were times where I was too high, too far forward, too far back, too far down.
David Spade
The whole time?
Danica Patrick
Not the whole time, but usually at the beginning of the season after you got fitted, you'd figure that out very, very quickly in the first sort of time that you got in the car. And sometimes, like, I would be, like, working on the seat myself and, like, shaving it down and taking pieces out of it and. Very, very manly of me. Um, but, yeah, fitting in.
Dana Carvey
What was your height and weight in your prime race car driving? What. How small were you?
Danica Patrick
Uh, I probably. I was.
Nate Bargatze
I've.
Danica Patrick
I've. I'm five one. Never really grew past. I'm gonna guess that was. Gotta be like ninth grade. And I've been, like, around £110 ish my whole life, so.
Dana Carvey
So did you ever consider if the race car Driving didn't turn out you'd be a jockey. Did you ever think about being a jockey? Just kind of kidding.
Danica Patrick
But, I mean, I have ridden a horse before. It was like, once I got into nascar, so it was later. And I think, what are the speeds? There's, like, loping is sort of like a speed with horses, and it's kind of scary. I'm not sure. Not sure I would have been okay with it. Those horses. Every time I see a horse, like, running fast or going through water or just carrying someone fat on their back, I just think I feel so bad for their legs. And then when they break them, they have to kill them. And I'm like, I don't know. I just. It doesn't make sense. Like, those little legs, body.
David Spade
Good job. Dana, bring up the source subject. But also, you know, Danica, I don't know if you're part of this scam. I think I was promoting something, and we went to Darlington maybe, and there was a guy that would drive idiots like me around the. Do a lap or something. Do you remember this guy's name? It was something funny.
Danica Patrick
They're. They're.
David Spade
They.
Danica Patrick
They probably got someone that was a driver or has been at some point in something.
David Spade
By the way, Dana, when you're going around the, whipping around the corner, and they. They want you to be scared shitless, they said, you don't have to be in it. Then when I got there, they go, no, get in with the guy. And I go, well, don't drive or anything. It's a scam. Every step along the way, crawl in the window, put on this suit. That the hardest part is scariest for me because Danica and I are drivers. Dana, it's hard to explain, but I'll explain to you.
Dana Carvey
I'm following. I'm riveted.
David Spade
Okay, so you get in and you go, put on this fireproof suit. There won't be a fire, but when there is, this will block some of it for a few seconds. And I go, okay. And then they. I. I don't know if I'm claustrophobic. I did find out when they clipped me in with 18 clips. I go, let's just say we roll. How do we get the clips? And the guy's like, oh, I'll be long gone by then. I'm like, I know, but with me, when I'm in the car burning, there's so many clips, I lost track. I go, good luck. And then when he goes around, he's going, I don't know how fast. 700. Maybe I'm wrong. And then he hits the wall. And I think Danica would know. Yeah. And that's fantastic. It's the Darlington stripe. They do it on purpose to make you shit your pants. It works. He hits the wall. So when we get out of the car, the whole door is kind of ripped. And I'm like, why is the guy. First of all, that's not good enough to be out there with the real people. Is the one with my life. And there's something wrong. And it was fun in quotes.
Danica Patrick
Well, now you can say like, I didn't pee my pants, but you can say, you did shit chores when you were driving.
David Spade
And I found out once I did it once. Now I do it all the time because it was fun and I liked it and. Which part am I talking about? The driving?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, which part are you talking about?
Danica Patrick
Story about a driver that did shit his pants. It was at Washington, New York. He was sick and he absolutely sharted himself and he won the race and.
David Spade
He had to run around with it, and then he.
Danica Patrick
And then he. Then he had to like, go change before going to victory Lane.
Dana Carvey
And anyway, I don't want to put this image in your head, but there are Olympic marathoner, world class marathoners who have. And there's no hiding that.
Danica Patrick
No.
David Spade
Yeah, that's.
Dana Carvey
That's harder now.
David Spade
We.
Danica Patrick
We haven't seen her run for like long. Long distance and, And, and, and known about this whole half the thing.
Dana Carvey
I was a distance runner as a younger person, but I never saw it up close. If there was folklore about, usually you're.
David Spade
Healthier then, but when you get older, I. Falling apart. But we just had a runner on. We should have asked him.
Danica Patrick
Oh, yeah, you should have. Because I. I ran the Boston Marathon a few years ago. I don't know why. My one bucket list item was to run a marathon. And so. Well, I don't know what's wrong with me, but my friend said, hey, I think I can get us into Boston. And I was like, yeah, cool. So she did. And I had to do a lot of training in Arizona, where it was like, you know, I would go as soon as, like, barely sunrise. What I didn't realize is I should have gone in the dark, but It'd be like 100, 100 to 105 by the time I was finished. And there's something about the heat, too, that really makes you want to go.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah, that may make sense.
Danica Patrick
I didn't, though, so I never did that either.
David Spade
Danica, I don't want to brag, but when I used to walk from McCormick Ranch to my friend's pool on, like, Lincoln and 60th. Dana, this sounds like a brag. I would wear just raw dog. It just shorts, no sunscreen, no hat, three miles so I can go in the pool. That was in the summer when I was in high school. And that's all just bragging. That was my Boston Marathon.
Danica Patrick
Barefoot, too.
Dana Carvey
I see.
David Spade
Not bare, not full. Raw dog. I had some Stan Smithson. Actually, the story is partially a lie. Anyway, back to.
Dana Carvey
You were on a roll. Let's.
David Spade
I know I was excited because I was like, look at. Because I grew up in Scottsdale, baking and boiling. So I know Danica's story checks out. And my mom's there now, and the dog. So she drives them around for a walk. For a walk. She puts them in the car, and then she rolls the windows down. And then she drives around, lets them bark. She drives up to people and they bark at them. And then she drives off. And if she sees. I don't know, that's my mom. But it's fun for her. She's know it's fun. I did it once with her. I go, I want to go on one of these. And then she found where they had horses, and she pulled up, and then they bark at the horses. And it's.
Danica Patrick
Did you bark at them, too?
David Spade
I sort of was the referee, because then the horses would come to the fence. And then I said, okay, this is obviously just for fun. Everything's for fun here because the horses didn't get what's going on.
Dana Carvey
But.
David Spade
But overall, it's fun in Arizona, Dana, you know.
Danica Patrick
Nine out of 12 months are fun.
David Spade
Yes. That's what. You know, my buddy sells real estate there, and he says. I say, how do you just talk people into living there? Because everyone's fucking moving there. And he said, well, I say, in Chicago, there's three or four months. You can't go outside because of snow. It's just the opposite. And I'm like, I guess that makes sense. I don't like it when it's freezing. But I grew up in Arizona, so I. I kind of can take it when it's hot. I. I mean, Dana, you know that I had. My steering wheel was steel. This is before I was rich, everybody. So I had a steering wheel that was steel. And then I had oven mitts when I got in to grab it because they were so hot. And then they really came in handy when I pulled that pot roast out of the glove compartment. But that's not why we're here.
Danica Patrick
I really want to know what's, what's, what's going on with the rest of the car. If the steering wheel was steel.
David Spade
Steering wheel was steel. Banica. You know, because we're in the driving biz also. Danica, do you have road rage in Scottsdale? Do you get out. Do you carry anything?
Danica Patrick
I, I, I. Thank God there's so many lanes on the highway these days. You can pretty much maneuver. I absolutely use the HOV at any point in time, no matter how many people are in the car or not.
David Spade
Good job.
Danica Patrick
And I always think to myself, I get pulled over. I mean, it's lapsed now, but I'd be willing to use an expired one. If I pulled out, like, my FIA racing license along with Mike id, How would that go?
David Spade
They would probably let you go. You've got a couple things going for you, and they might give you. But there's more crime going on out there that I. I don't like me. I'm like, I'm not the big fish guy. Like, let's. I know where you can focus some policing, so don't try to drag me in. But I'm easy. Yeah.
Danica Patrick
Yeah, it seems like. Seems like go, you know, 85 on the 101 is not really, you know, worth the time of day. They should probably. There's some other areas that need help.
David Spade
Yeah, that's. I've been on all of it. Yeah. You know when they say I get text people, hey, you know, like, more like friends of friends, not like direct friends, but they go, hey, you're coming to Kansas City. So how do we get tickets? Well, yeah. Yeah, how do we get tickets? And can I just buy them off you? Well, yeah, so you give me your Visa, and then I go buy them. And then I racked the little Visa thing, and then I call. I don't know. Now, I said, it's probably easier if you just.
Dana Carvey
What about this? Like, I was playing a casino in Oroville, California, and I. I told people in the Bay Area and my sister, who I'm really close with, I said, just don't come. Please don't come. Just don't. Just don't come. I mean, don't worry. You're not gonna miss.
David Spade
What a horrible person. No, you're not gonna miss anything.
Dana Carvey
It's because.
David Spade
Are you doing the same stuff? I go, well, don't come. Well, I didn't see it. I'll grind it out.
Dana Carvey
And there was a 40. It was in my hometown, basically. There were 45 people backstage. It was. And it was always, you know, Bill Slicklow and you remember Bobby Floplup. And it was, I just want to do the show and go home anyway.
David Spade
But that everyone's having more fun than you.
Dana Carvey
Well, let's see.
John Lovitz
Yeah. Saturday night I had a buddy from high school that text me and he calls me, text me. And then I was like, hey, I'm. I'm at Saturday Night Live and we're taping. He goes, all right, just call me after. And then that was it. Just like, all right. No, like even acknowledge that I'm hosting.
Dana Carvey
Really?
John Lovitz
All right, well, just call me after. Yeah, just like, just, just call me.
David Spade
Right?
Dana Carvey
I'm on.
John Lovitz
Yeah, I'll be done.
Dana Carvey
I'm on Space X. We're just going to go one loop around the world. Okay.
David Spade
Call me 1:01am he's like, Dude, I saw you're over. Call me. What's up? Where you been?
John Lovitz
Where have you been?
Dana Carvey
Because of texting you. Had you. Did you get reviews at 8:30? Sorry, at 8. 8 at. During the show. Because it's on what live? What's live on the East Coast. But I get reviews from the west coast while the show's going because they're watching it live out there at 8:30.
John Lovitz
Yeah, you try not to look at your phone, but you always end up having like Round Update and Coldplay. You have a moment and you kind of can just see it. You know, I had a big day because. So I'm a Vanderbilt fan. Vanderbilt beat Alabama in college football.
David Spade
So it was a.
John Lovitz
It's a. As a big Vanderbilt fan, we. They were number one the country. It's the biggest win we've ever had in all of our sports. So I mean, I got text about that more than sure even, you know.
David Spade
More than your goofy gig on snl.
John Lovitz
Yeah, I mean that. It was just all day was. You know, then people just like, you better say something on Saturday night. Like the pressure I was getting, you better acknowledge it. Like just, you know, we're lucky we.
David Spade
Got our guy there tonight so you can get the word out.
Dana Carvey
At least wear a T shirt. Doing the good nights, man.
David Spade
Silence is violence.
Dana Carvey
Did you have a Vanderbilt T shirt on?
John Lovitz
No, no, I had. I wore a jacket that was like the. That had the hurricane. That's all the states that were getting hit by the hurricane. Just like being with them.
David Spade
Yeah, but how do they sell that?
John Lovitz
They don't.
David Spade
That's my brother Hurricane. The first. The Asheville. In that whole area, all the heat is taken off of that now and that should be talked about for another year. Yeah, it switches right over to. I don't know, it's getting too sad, but yeah. Anyway, this is a, an ad for a new sponsor. Lux Bidet John Lovitz, are you listening? We have to. You know, toilet paper fails you sometimes. And all I hear about is bidets and how it's the future. Right.
Dana Carvey
And it's horrible when toilet paper fails you and you've used the restroom and then your significant other says, did it please you or did it fail you? And you just go thumbs down, total fail.
David Spade
Yeah. Also they're making it skinnier, I think toilet paper, because I'm, you know, I've got a roll of paper towels in there. For what reason, I'm not going to tell you. But a bidet is a device, just so you know, Dana, that delivers a precise stream of fresh water to wash your booty. If I get too technical, tell me after you go number deuce. For less than 50 bucks, you can convert your regular toilet into a bidet with a luxe bidet. America's number one best selling bidet attachment.
Dana Carvey
Oh, I see. That's clever.
David Spade
Cleans better than toilet paper.
Dana Carvey
You know, listen, toilet paper, you, you, you're making choices.
David Spade
If a bird poops on your face, would you just clean up with paper? No, you'd wash it off.
Dana Carvey
Right? Yeah. This is so archaic. I mean, Billy Toilet was a French inventor and he said, we're going to wipe our bottoms with paper, thin paper and little squares. What are you going to call it? I don't know. My name is Billy Toilet. How about toilet paper?
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
This is so easy. This is what I'm, you know, no more skid marks, no more butt crumbs. I mean, this is getting better and better.
David Spade
You're always chanting that. That's you Walk away fresh and clean. It's a spa day for your behind.
Dana Carvey
I'm gonna say, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. It's your butt goes to the spa with this, this product.
David Spade
Okay.
Dana Carvey
The car wash for your ass. I just said it.
David Spade
Luxbuddy makes a great gift. People laugh when they see it, but then they're gonna love it. Gift for your friends, your family. Maybe you can tell which ones need a little extra help.
Dana Carvey
Really needed. The ones who will be super excited. Use Code fly on my butt to get 20 use code fly on my butt to get 20 off bidets@luxbidet.com that's L U X E B I-E-T.com yes.
David Spade
Lux bidet. The better way to go.
Dana Carvey
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Dana Carvey
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Dana Carvey
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Dana Carvey
That is cool.
David Spade
No one's making peewee carving.
Dana Carvey
You have great fans.
Nate Bargatze
I don't have that many, but they, they're. They're strong, they're small, but mighty.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, I just love them. I just have Garth bobbleheads. Can I get one more? Can I get five more? Can I get ten more? Cut it out, dude. You. And then they start to fight.
David Spade
Just Garth that's it, Dana, let's get to the important matter at hand, which is one girl on TikTok saying something about SNL girls and then we all talk about it forever. It's pretty funny.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Okay, here we go.
David Spade
Sarah, give us your strong opinion about it, whatever that is.
Nate Bargatze
Here's the thing. Here's what? Wait, let me make sure that the human hand is in the background. And I'll take my glasses off for this.
David Spade
That's important.
Dana Carvey
Literally.
Nate Bargatze
Like, what, What? What is she smoking? Like, some of the most beautiful I. What? It's like, listen, I'm not funny, but I'm good looking. You know what I mean? Like.
Dana Carvey
You'Re right.
Nate Bargatze
The women that she's taught, like, she brings up women who are like, literally drop dead. Va, va, va. Boom.
John Lovitz
Gaga.
Nate Bargatze
Gorgeous.
David Spade
Yeah.
Nate Bargatze
And I was mad at myself for tweeting. I shouldn't have said anything because she said some for attention. And then I. And then I was sitting on the train. Well, I woke up in the morning and everyone texted me. I woke up to none of my friends care if I live or die. But then I woke up like a hundred texts from my friend being like, ha, look at this. Lol.
David Spade
And so I was like, lol means you. By the way, when people text me that, they're like, did you see this?
Dana Carvey
Haha.
David Spade
And you're like, it's not really lol, it's more like, I want you to see this.
Nate Bargatze
Yeah, no, exactly. Like, one time, my friend, I woke up to text from my friend. There was like a Reddit thread. I had like, opened for a band in Central park in 95 degree heat in the summer. And then there was like a whole Reddit thread of like teenagers telling me that I'm so unfunny that I should literally shoot my own head off. And that's what my friends send me. My friends don't send me, like, anything good.
David Spade
Yeah.
Nate Bargatze
So like, I was sitting on the train just being like, I. I don't know, I just fucking tweeted it. And I immediately regretted tweeting it because it's like she just wanted that.
Dana Carvey
That's what people want.
Nate Bargatze
They just want attention for one side.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. It's a tricky one because if you protest too much, it's sort of like, hey, wait a minute, we are good looking, you know? I know.
Nate Bargatze
And I, I didn't want it to come across as like, defensive or like.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Nate Bargatze
And then people thought, like, I was legitimately upset. And I'm like, no, I'm just. I. I woke up like, ready to say something hilarious about grieving uglily.
David Spade
Uglily was maybe the funniest thing I heard last week. Yeah. It was so funny. And uglily does not. It's not out there a lot, that word, and I like it. I don't think I've ever heard it.
Dana Carvey
It's a new word.
Nate Bargatze
That's why I did it. I felt compelled to bring a new word into the lexicon. But ultimately, I wish I didn't say anything, because then it just made it a bigger deal.
David Spade
No, it's great. That's why we're calling you about it. It's totally gone away. That's why we're calling you about it.
Nate Bargatze
Well, also, I'm like, this got more attention than it been. Like, every time I tweet. Every time I tweet, like, every time I tweet, like, hey, everybody, check out this sketch that I made with my friends.
David Spade
I'm so proud of.
Nate Bargatze
It's hilarious. It gets like two and a half likes and likes.
David Spade
Block delete, unfollow report. Yeah, by the way, I just saw Happenstance. I saw a. I think there's a delay on me. I think I saw Kristen wake her monologue. What a stunner. I mean, just off top, my head. Forget it. And who cares already? There's so many combo platters on that show of just really pretty and hilariously funny. Funny's harder. You can't go get surgery to be funnier. I mean, it's really.
Dana Carvey
Hey, wait a minute. Is it. Is it okay for funniness to add to a person's hotness? Not just men, but women as well? Because women will say, I like a man who's funny, but what about a man who likes women that are funny?
David Spade
Yeah. Have to be.
Nate Bargatze
Yeah. That's like, Rodney Dangerfield is like, the hottest guy who ever lived. Is he. Was he a looker?
Dana Carvey
Yes.
David Spade
To me. No, you're right.
Dana Carvey
You're right.
Nate Bargatze
Patrick is so.
Dana Carvey
Oh, I tell you I'm hot. Johnny, I'm hot. I tell you I'm hot. All the girls like me. Oh. So I. That's my worst impression.
Nate Bargatze
I. I get too much respect. Too much respect entirely. Every time a photographer sees me, he takes a picture.
David Spade
Every time a woman sees me, she.
Dana Carvey
Takes my pants off. I tell you, I get a lot of respect. How. How does she take your pants off? I mean, the whole thing is fascinating. I just. I just for a second wanted to ask you about generative AI or AI, which also is. People are telling us they didn't tell us about the worldwide web, how destructive that was going to be in terms of social media and all that. But what, what, how does that intersect with what you're thinking? Because obviously it needs massive energy, apparently, but it also will become kind of like this alien brain that we control. Or what do you. I mean, because what's your thoughts on that AI, how it integrates with all this, the secret government and all those people? If you control it, you control the world, maybe, or.
Dr. Steven Greer
Well, it can be. You know, what I'd say about technology? You know, I just make this simple as an emergency doctor. I've seen a knife put butter on your bread and slit someone's throat or stab you through the heart. So it's the consciousness of who wields it, who has it. So the technology is neutral. It's what men do with it, what humans do with it. Right. So what does humanity do with the new technology? Do we turn it into a weapon? Do we turn it into something malevolent? Do we use it for the good? And see, this gets into something that sounds very philosophical and airy fairy, but really the foundation of having a sustainable civilization is that we have to have advanced technology, but it has to be guided by a higher consciousness. You call it higher spiritual consciousness, enlightenment. Some greater interest besides your own. Can I become another trillionaire kind of mindset? And I think that is the real crisis because in the 20th and early 20th century, our technologies have gotten ahead of our social and spiritual development. And that makes humans at a very dangerous place. Now, this is why one of the other projects I run is the Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind, where we actually train people to make contact with these civilizations and vector or guide them into a sighting or a landing or a contact event. And there's a movie out called Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind. And it outlines all of this and it's a bit out there. People go, what the hell is this? But it has to do with using this higher concepts in kind of what Neuralink's trying to do, but on a much higher scale of the consciousness field to interact with extraterrestrial guidance and communication systems through what the CIA called remote viewing. Using consciousness to see remote, remote viewing is crazy. Yeah, well, I know that. I know all of our viewers.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dr. Steven Greer
Ingo Swann and I were friends before he died. And he loved what we were doing with that because we were doing it for peaceful contact as opposed to trying to spy on the Soviet Union back when he was right. But I know Russell Targ and all the remote viewers and the top CIA people who are currently working those programs. I know. And they're very positive about what we're trying to do, using those concepts in what's called entanglement in physics, or non locality to remote view and contact these extraterrestrial civilizations and make a peaceful outreach. By the way, we're going to do. It's open to the public. You guys should come. We're doing a thing in July in Temecula.
David Spade
Temecula, yes.
Dr. Steven Greer
Yeah, yeah, we're going to do that. I think there are only about 80 places left, but we're also going to stream it globally. So we're going to do this global CE5. There's an app, by the way, CE5 contact app that trains you in remote viewing. And doing this. I'm going to do a thing with Demi Lovato's. Yeah, about this. It's so much fun. This is way fun.
Dana Carvey
Describe what remote viewing is just for a second. Just. Just in quick remote view.
Dr. Steven Greer
Sure. Okay. So, you know, it kind of gets back to what Ben Rich, who was the head of the Lockheed skunk work, said in 1995. And he said someone asked them about this whole UFO issue. He says, well, just remember, every point in space and time is connected instantaneously through this quantum field. Now that's known as entanglement. In quantum physics, the ultimate field of entanglement, of interconnectivity, is the consciousness field. Now, you and I think of consciousness as what we're thinking of. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the faculty of being conscious itself and the experience. It's like in meditation where you. Because before I was a medical doctor, I was a. A golden boy meditation teacher. Went around the world teaching meditation. In my first career, I have a mantra I learned. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All these people, you know, a lot of. I won't say who a lot of celebrities I've taught meditation to, but we went around and we taught people how to go into that deep state. But remember, if you're in that deep state of quiet consciousness, you can awaken to another point in space or time, so you can see with your, say, third eye a remote place in space or time. So the CIA made a routine program of that in the 70s, 80s, 90s. But it can be used for very good purposes, too. Besides spycraft, it can be used for knowing things that you need to know for big discoveries. Many of the big scientific discoveries, like the founder of organic chemistry, went into a dream state and saw the structure of the organic system. And that's true. So it's a really amazing adjunct. It doesn't replace science or intellectual science. It's an adjunct. It's complementary to it. So one of the things that we're teaching people is that the civilizations. I'll tell you. You want to hear a funny story?
Dana Carvey
No.
David Spade
No.
Dr. Steven Greer
So I was with you do a skit on Saturday. By the way, I loved it when you did Church lady years ago. It's an asshole. I mean, that was my favorite.
Dana Carvey
Dana was we like aliens better than we like Jesus.
Dr. Steven Greer
I think that was Dana.
Dana Carvey
It was me.
Dr. Steven Greer
That was my all time favorite.
Dana Carvey
Anyway, thank you. Talk about consciousness. I just want to insert this, Doctor. It's just you're reminding me a little bit of John Lennon's song Imagine.
Dr. Steven Greer
Yes. Oh, yeah.
Dana Carvey
Which was basically a plea for higher consciousness. That what you're talking about. And I do think if you can get it together, whoever does this. So aliens come down kind of like the Day the Earth Stood still. That will propel a lot of forward consciousness in terms of my religion, your religion, you know, so you live in a fast.
Dr. Steven Greer
Well, that's what we're doing.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
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Rob Gronkowski
Or your money back.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
EBay.
David Spade
The place to buy and sell new pre. Loved vintage and rare fashion. I have a few questions. Just quickly. You did this to Tom. Did. Okay, first of all, like, when we did the roast, I did the Rob Lowe one. We didn't know each other's jokes ahead of time. Do you guys. Did you guys know each other's jokes?
Julian Edelman
No, we did not.
Rob Gronkowski
No.
Julian Edelman
But we.
Rob Gronkowski
We would have to tell our jokes to the room, and then they didn't tell us. If someone had a joke that they would say, like, you can't use that one.
David Spade
Oh, it bumps with somebody. Yeah, yeah. And to what room? Writer's room.
Rob Gronkowski
Writer's room.
Julian Edelman
Yes.
David Spade
Correct. Oh, you had to get up and say them.
Rob Gronkowski
Yeah, I. I went to the Comedy Store and performed my jokes.
David Spade
Oh, I should have gone down there, terrified.
Rob Gronkowski
Thank God there was 15, like, frat kids there that loved football, so I could say anything, and they were gonna laugh. But I was up there, and I was reading my jokes off of paper, and I did, like, 50. I did 12 minutes. I wanted to, like, test jokes.
David Spade
That's a lot.
Rob Gronkowski
Yeah. And it was. It was. I was so terrified.
David Spade
It was.
Rob Gronkowski
It was really stepping outside of my comfort.
David Spade
Oh, that makes you sick. That's so scary to go up in front of people and read those.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's. That's normal.
David Spade
For real.
Dana Carvey
Who wrote? Did you have someone write with you? Did you have someone help write with you in your voice?
David Spade
They have roast writers. I think there's.
Rob Gronkowski
I have my own team. And then we worked with their team, and we kind of formulated and threw a bunch of shit at the wall. And then I went to the store and. And set them all and kind of said, all right, this one's a good one. They didn't like this one.
David Spade
And it's very hard to say, hey, guys, we're roasting Tom Brady. It's not the same exact scenario, because they're ready for regular now. When you go to the roast, everyone's lasered in. This is about this. Blah, blah. So I've seen, like, Nikki go in. Okay, guys, here's what I'm doing. I'm hosting the MTV Awards picture Green Day here. It's just. It's just not the same. You don't get the exact same reaction, but you get a feel like, this one might work, so that's good. And, Rob, you did the same thing. I'm sorry, did you say that?
Julian Edelman
Yeah, mine was similar. I actually had, like, three different phone calls. With the writers, I just wanted to understand the feel of, you know, of the type of material that I had for top and other people that were going to be there. And then they kind of wrote some jokes for me. I actually have a friend who's an absolute maniac, who. When he's on fire, he's on fire. He can come up with anything. So he wrote four of my jokes, and then I actually wrote four of my jokes as well. And then all the other jokes were from the writers. So, you know, it was just a team effort. But at the end, once you have your whole script, you tell the writers what you're gonna say, and then they figure it out. Hey, you can't say that because someone else is already saying. So it wasn't repeated how much fear.
Dana Carvey
That's fair compared to when you're starting a football, doing public speaking, going to a podium. You got all these comedians. It's a global event. I mean, I wa. It was pretty. It was an amazing. And you guys are coming out there and you're following people. I mean, where was your nerve level? I'm sure you couldn't compare it to athletics, but it's intense. It took me years to get used to doing. It took me three years without being just terrified to do stand up, you know, Dude, I was.
Rob Gronkowski
I mean, it was. It was really scary because we were football players. We're not comics. And then you're following pros. Yeah, sharpshooters, huge events. I. I'm so thankful I had that rep before at the store, because it gave me, like, a rep of it. But I was. I was definitely terrified just because that's not. That's not what we do.
Dana Carvey
I know. I. That's. I was just asking when the size.
David Spade
Of the crowd is bigger than normal standup, it's crazy.
Rob Gronkowski
That was it, the forum. There's like. But the cool thing about it was you only saw the people. You didn't see the crowd. You saw, like, the. They had a bunch of row tables for people that were gonna be made fun of or associated with people. So you saw a lot of your friends in the crowd. I didn't. You know, so that. That was kind of cool.
Dana Carvey
And also, everyone knows you're not a professional standup, so there is usually goodwill, you know, because they understand it's not what you do for a living right now. But how. How was your nerve level, Rob? You were.
Julian Edelman
We're crazy psychos, man. That's why we won so many championships together, is that Julian wants to be the best Even though that's not his profession. I wanted to be the best up there, even though that's not my profession. I mean, Bill wants to be the best. You know, when you sign up for something, you know, we want to be the best, and we're super competitive. And that's why I feel like that whole group right there, we won so many championships and why we went to the playoffs every single year because of that competitive nature. But my nerves were, my nerves were cooking a little bit. That's why between Julian, you know, myself and Kevin Hart, we were all three in a row. And we literally finished a bottle of tequila before we even went up there. And that definitely helped out because when I got up there, tequila just went, it went, it went zoop. And it was just game on, baby. And also, wait a minute.
Dana Carvey
So before you went out, you had.
David Spade
At least five shots, Six shots on stage, probably they had on stage.
Julian Edelman
We were drinking.
Dana Carvey
By the time he got to the podium. How many shots of tequila?
Julian Edelman
I don't know, Jules. Probably six or ten.
Dana Carvey
Seven. Okay.
Julian Edelman
Yeah, six to seven.
Rob Gronkowski
I kept mine. I, I, I pre, I had a prerequisite of my cocktail before, so I, I tried my cocktail of what I was going to do before at the store so I could dial in my.
Dana Carvey
Oh, wow, you're prepared.
David Spade
I have to say that the nerves erase a lot of your buzz sometimes. So you're really drunker than you think because you're so giddy. Yeah. With all the energy and the adrenaline that you go. I don't even know if I'm drunk. I'm just.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
And you're too.
Dana Carvey
You don't feel it as much if you're adrenaline.
Julian Edelman
That's what. And also, it kind of sucked waiting your turn because once your turn was over, you know, you killed it. It felt so good just to watch rest of the show. Like, it was like you laid back.
David Spade
Relax or you get something stepped on. That's what I was scared because Nikki I thought was first. And when someone goes before and they do jokes, I'm like, oh, my God, I'd be going that steps on this joke. Oh, do I got to take that one out? And who do you tell? It's live. You're like, do I text someone? Like, get rid of that joke. It bumps. Exactly. With Kevin Hart's joke, it's the same thing. That's the hard part. That's where the writers have to make sure. Unless you're ad libbing or something. But I'm sure ad libs come out because it's Live. And just in the moment, you want to add a tagline or.
Rob Gronkowski
I was watching. So I. I was really amazed with the professionalism of all, like, the comics that went up there and. And with Kevin Hart and watching him, how he was off the teleprompter, like, how he. He would hit a couple things on the prompter, then ad lib and then go back to the prompter.
David Spade
Scary.
Rob Gronkowski
I was watching who was reading their jokes and who wasn't, and Rob went up there, and I'm sitting there looking at this prompter, and then I'm looking, and he went completely rogue. He just started going on his own rant. It was crazy. It was, like, fun to see who was using the prompter and who wasn't full rogue on the prompter and just started going rob on them.
David Spade
And then you don't know where you're coming back to because they're like, the prompter goes down and they go, are we. Is this. This part? And then you're like, because, you know, live a lot of those rows, like the one I did, they can. They trim it from three hours down like an hour and a half, so they're cutting all the fat out all the mistakes. It's more fun to see the mistakes and see what's really happening.
Rob Gronkowski
Definitely.
David Spade
I think so, yeah. Did anything shock you? Did you hear jokes that, like, you were like, oh, did you. We're doing this.
Dana Carvey
Were your feelings hurt? Or did you ever observe anyone else who you felt like their feelings were hurt? Because that's the Livewire reality show aspect of Roast. You're laughing. But then I've seen Roast where, whoa, that person's really wounded right now, you know, I guess that's part of it. But did you witness or yourselves? Did ever, you know, did you get your feelings hurt at all?
Julian Edelman
No, I don't think anyone got their feelings hurt. And that's what made that roast that much more special. And it also kind of makes you stronger as a person as well. If you can just take those beatings and lashings in front of millions of people and in front of a crowd of 20 plus thousand people, in front of all your good friends as well. I mean, it makes you strong mentally. And that's why I loved it. I mean, I can go around anywhere now, whatever people say about me. Actually, that roast literally kind of freaked me up. I don't care what people say. Call me an idiot, call me dumb, like, whatever. I was in front of millions of people and that happened, like, so it's no big Deal. And I think that's what made the show so special, too, is everyone took the beating, and no one was actually truly hurt about it.
Rob Gronkowski
That's what the really. That's what the locker room is. I mean, no one safe in the locker room. Everyone's getting made fun of. It was just public.
David Spade
Well, when I did the roast, they go, like, it's hard to see someone walk up and go. You know, everyone says, spade has huge ears. And I'm like, wait, what's going on? Wait. What does everyone say? Because you're never hearing everything people are saying. So whenever. When they start a joke with. I think we're all in agreement. And then it's like some horrible thing about you, and you go. And you're trying to brace, like, oh, okay, that was too much. I'm going to mark that down. I got to talk to them after. I got to mark that one down because there's so many coming at you. Just go, holy shit. That's why I never did it for so long, because I'm too much of a pussy to take it. It's just so out of left field.
Rob Gronkowski
I think it's crazy to hear how you analyze the show. Like, we don't think about that. You're sitting. You guys are pros. So you're sitting there like, oh, he hit that. So I'm gonna fucking bring this to him.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to go up early. Like, that's a deal breaker. They go. I go, put me up early. Because by the time, like, Andrew Schultz got on, he has great jokes, but it's hard to just get the effect when you've heard you're numb by this point.
Dana Carvey
Nikki. Nikki had the best spot there. I think she was third or fourth. Yeah. Kevin Hart warmed him up. People were very good. It's cooking. And then there's a wave that she caught. And she was incredibly prepared. I mean, she worked, like, for six weeks or something. Night after night, taping, recording.
David Spade
I have a question for you, too.
Dana Carvey
Oh, boy.
David Spade
I saw this video of this girl, and she. She goes, I'm a furry. And then she goes, here's how I talk to my friends. So if I'm happy, I'm like, meow. If I'm angry, I go, if I'm the. Anyway, do you think it. Do you think that. That human beings that identify as cats are actually cats? I don't, but do you?
Dana Carvey
I ran into someone who said, my pronouns are they, them. And I said, my pronouns are what's up?
David Spade
Oh.
Dana Carvey
Well, those are my Pronoun. What's up?
David Spade
John's are poo, poo, peepee.
Dana Carvey
No, John's pronouns are sir and lord.
David Spade
Sir, lord, mine are. And.
Dana Carvey
They sound effecty.
David Spade
I just know growing up. So I said, what are your pronouns? I'd be, huh. Huh. What are your. I go, what? I don't know what you're talking about. What do you call yourself? John. Let's listen.
Dana Carvey
Our transphobic much?
David Spade
Our viewers? No, I just don't. I don't.
Dana Carvey
It's like, what?
David Spade
Thought about it.
Dana Carvey
Huh?
David Spade
All right, well, I'd love to hear the end of that story. You apparently mock people who think they're a dog or a cat. I met a woman. I had a date with a woman once, and she. And she. She said she was a cat, and she opened her shirt and she had six nipples. And I said, do you want to get spaded.
Dana Carvey
One John Lovetts on a date with a woman he finds very attractive. You will soon find out that she's a cat.
David Spade
This is an imitation my friend would always do. This is a cat's butthole. Was he a comedian? How old are you? How old is he? 2.
Dana Carvey
We've got to have a raspberry count. Anyone making this sound foreign, we're probably double ditches. Ditches. Oh, and. Okay, well, John Lovitz has been our guest today.
David Spade
The debate was great last night. We'll say it again.
Dana Carvey
Debate was great.
David Spade
Doesn't identify as a cat. He identifies as a.
Dana Carvey
For those listening, John is beside himself with joy. He's going in for the close up with the big eyes and a huge grin.
David Spade
Huge. I'm doing my cat in the camera again. The ring camera. David Spade has a disease. It's called small Cox. Let's end on that one. That's not bad.
Dana Carvey
That's a pretty good one. John, I don't know how you think of this stuff. All right, thanks, buddy.
David Spade
This has been a presentation of Odyssey Suddenly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade – SUPERFLY #48: Best of Guests
Release Date: December 27, 2024
Presented by: Audacy
In SUPERFLY #48: Best of Guests, Dana Carvey and David Spade curate the most memorable moments from their 2024 episodes, featuring standout conversations with a diverse array of guests from the entertainment and sports worlds. This special edition showcases the duo’s signature blend of humor, insightful dialogues, and behind-the-scenes anecdotes, offering both longtime fans and newcomers a comprehensive look into their dynamic interactions.
The episode kicks off with an engaging discussion with renowned race car driver Danica Patrick. Dana and David delve into the challenges Danica faced with car fitting, emphasizing the meticulous adjustments required for optimal performance.
Danica humorously recounts her experiences adapting to race cars and the physical demands of the sport:
The conversation shifts to her participation in the Boston Marathon, where she shares insights into the grueling training regimen and the extreme heat she endured:
Nate Bargatze joins the duo to discuss the intricacies of online interactions and the challenges comedians face in the digital age. He opens up about a particularly poignant moment where a tweet led to widespread attention:
Nate reflects on the pressure of maintaining humor while navigating negative feedback, highlighting the delicate balance between being funny and being misunderstood:
An unexpected yet fascinating segment features Dr. Steven Greer, who explores the relationship between artificial intelligence, consciousness, and the potential for peaceful contact with extraterrestrial civilizations. Drawing parallels between technology and human intent, Dr. Greer emphasizes the importance of guiding advanced technologies with higher consciousness:
He introduces the concept of "Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind," a project aimed at using advanced consciousness techniques to facilitate contact with extraterrestrial beings:
Dana and David engage thoughtfully with Dr. Greer, connecting his ideas to broader philosophical questions about technology's role in society.
Former NFL stars Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman share their unique experience of hosting a comedy roast, blending their athletic backgrounds with the art of humor. They discuss the preparation involved, the nerves leading up to the event, and the camaraderie that made the roast a success.
Julian highlights the competitive spirit that drove them to excel in an unfamiliar setting:
Their anecdotes provide a humorous glimpse into the intersection of sports and comedy, illustrating how stepping out of their comfort zones fostered personal growth and strengthened team dynamics.
David Spade on Superfly's Success [01:32]: “We sweet cobbled together some garbage. I mean some great stuff from this year.”
Danica Patrick on Marathon Training [09:13]: “I had to do a lot of training in Arizona... 100 to 105 by the time I was finished.”
Nate Bargatze on Online Criticism [24:01]: “I woke up to a Reddit thread of teenagers telling me that I'm so unfunny that I should literally shoot my own head off.”
Dr. Steven Greer on Technology and Consciousness [28:20]: “The technology is neutral. It's what men do with it, what humans do with it.”
Rob Gronkowski on Stepping into Comedy [36:38]: “It was really scary because we were football players. We're not comics.”
SUPERFLY #48: Best of Guests culminates with heartfelt holiday greetings from Dana and David, thanking their guests and listeners for an incredible year. They reflect on the diverse range of conversations and the laughter shared, setting a festive tone for the season.
This episode of Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade serves as a celebratory compilation of the year’s best moments, featuring insightful dialogues, humorous exchanges, and unexpected guest appearances. Whether discussing the rigors of race car driving, navigating the challenges of social media, exploring the frontiers of consciousness, or bridging the worlds of sports and comedy, Dana and David deliver an episode rich with entertainment and depth. It's a must-listen for anyone looking to experience the vibrant energy and camaraderie that define their unique podcast.