SUPERFLY #52 - Trump Dumps

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade Episode: SUPERFLY #52 - Trump Dumps Release Date: January 24, 2025

In episode #52 of Superfly titled "Trump Dumps," hosts David Spade and Dana Carvey navigate a whirlwind of topics ranging from environmental concerns and political antics to extraterrestrial phenomena and personal anecdotes. Despite Dana Carvey pushing through a bout of illness, the duo maintains their signature humor and insightful commentary, providing listeners with an engaging blend of entertainment and information.

1. Navigating Performance While Ill ([01:33] - [04:55])

David Spade opens the episode by addressing Dana Carvey's current health challenges, showcasing their camaraderie and commitment to delivering content regardless of personal setbacks.

David Spade ([01:36]): "Dana's a little under the weather today, but he's gonna push through."

The conversation shifts to the difficulties of performing live while feeling unwell, with both hosts sharing humorous yet relatable experiences about maintaining professionalism on stage despite personal discomfort.

David Spade ([02:02]): "I don't want to send everyone home with their babysitters and they don't even know really, what's wrong."

2. California Fires and the Arson Awareness Stunt ([06:15] - [13:02])

David Spade delves into a serious yet creatively approached topic: the rampant wildfires in California. He discusses a stunt he orchestrated to raise awareness about arson-related fires, emphasizing the importance of community vigilance and proactive measures.

David Spade ([07:29]): "There's a huge one again up on the 5 in Castaic."

He narrates the challenges faced during the stunt, including dealing with skepticism and ensuring the message wasn't lost amidst the chaos, highlighting the real-world implications of such initiatives.

3. Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UAP) and Stephen Greer's Revelations ([13:02] - [17:35])

The episode takes a turn towards the unexplained as David Spade introduces insights from Dr. Stephen Greer, a prominent ufologist. Segmenting into a discussion with guest Dennis Miller, the hosts dissect recently released footage purportedly from a secret UAP retrieval program.

Dennis Miller ([14:22]): "That's an egg-shaped UAP suspended from a 150-foot long line."

The conversation questions the authenticity and implications of the footage, blending skepticism with curiosity about the existence of extraterrestrial life and governmental disclosures.

4. Political Satire and Executive Orders ([30:22] - [37:31])

Shifting back to terrestrial concerns, David and Theo Von engage in a satirical take on former President Donald Trump's handling of executive orders and the ensuing chaos at the White House.

David Spade ([30:25]): "Do you think with that diet and that pressure, does he dump? Never once a week or six times a day."

They mock the frenetic pace and absurdity of political maneuvering, drawing parallels between real-life policies and exaggerated comedic scenarios.

5. The Quietest Room Challenge ([39:13] - [42:04])

In a lighter segment, the hosts explore the extreme "Quietest Room" challenge commissioned by Microsoft. They humorously debate whether enduring an hour of near-total silence for a $5 million prize is feasible, intertwining jokes about human resilience and the allure of substantial rewards.

Theo Von ([40:39]): "I would just mumble then, by the way, why did they build this stupid place."

This discussion serves as a playful commentary on human behavior when faced with extreme conditions for hefty incentives.

6. Cultural Missteps and Language Barriers ([56:50] - [58:54])

The hosts share amusing anecdotes about cultural misunderstandings, particularly focusing on Dana's experience at a manicure-pedicure salon where language barriers lead to comedic confusion.

Theo Von ([57:28]): "She said, come on, come on. You gotta do the accent."

These stories highlight the hilarity that ensues when navigating foreign languages and cultural norms, adding a personal touch to the episode.

7. Reflections on Fame and Aging ([63:30] - [66:00])

As the episode wraps up, David and Theo reflect on the challenges of maintaining relevance and humor in an ever-changing entertainment landscape, touching upon themes of aging, legacy, and the enduring nature of their friendship.

David Spade ([64:43]): "What's up, doc?"

They conclude with light-hearted banter about future topics, including AI and Bitcoin, teasing upcoming guests and maintaining anticipation for subsequent episodes.

Notable Quotes

• David Spade ([07:29]): "There's a huge one again up on the 5 in Castaic."
• Dennis Miller ([14:22]): "That's an egg-shaped UAP suspended from a 150-foot long line."
• Theo Von ([40:39]): "I would just mumble then, by the way, why did they build this stupid place."
• Theo Von ([57:28]): "She said, come on, come on. You gotta do the accent."

Conclusion

SUPERFLY #52 - Trump Dumps offers a compelling mix of humor, critical commentary, and personal stories, encapsulating the essence of Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade. By navigating through serious issues like environmental crises and political satire with their trademark wit, the hosts provide listeners with both laughs and food for thought. This episode stands as a testament to their enduring chemistry and ability to engage audiences on a multitude of topics.

Transcript

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

Dana's a little under the weather today, but he's gonna push through.

[Theo Von]

I have a. I have something that you don't want to have. Trust me, this is. I don't want you. You should not have this. But you did. You did. You did go out on stage once.

[David Spade]

And I, I went on stage, as we were telling Kevin Nealon today on the other podcast, that I went out with a horse throat like Laryngre, which is very tough to go out with because.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[David Spade]

You don't really know what you're getting. It sort of kicked in and out, but I definitely gave it everything on mine. I thought it's better an hour before the show to just do it and try it. And worst case, I'd come back or something. But I don't want to send everyone home with their babysitters and they don't even know really, what's wrong. Are you really sick? Why would you Cancel. Because I did that once when there was a real problem and I said, say these apologies. Say this because people are already there. And I was told, I can't go on. So I said, oh, I'm so sorry. Anyway, all they did was send an email to everyone, had a ticket and said, shows canceled. We'll reschedule. And that was it. And I'm like, who wants to hear that after all that? You know, that's a little rough.

[Theo Von]

It happens. I mean, I do a lot of voices, so I can't come out there and go, well, isn't that special? You know, well, isn't that. Who could it have been safe? So I'm kind of in here and here. Not fun. But we don't want to bring down our audience other than looking at it and saying, I don't have that.

[David Spade]

No, I'll bring down my audience. Because you don't think you have problems. You think. Wait, you think you have problems. Listen to these. I slept and I had the air conditioner worked on. And this is a bombshell. And I don't mean to clip this out, and I don't mean to.

[Theo Von]

We can use this or not. If you're hearing it.

[David Spade]

Yeah, we cut it out. If it's too.

[Theo Von]

It'll be cut. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Shocking for people driving. Pull over. I don't sleep with the AC on or the heat because. Oh, Danny, you weren't ready for that. Oh, my God. It caused an earthquake.

[Theo Von]

Sometimes is that you have create tremors from. I am. Go ahead. What it is, is we're not going to air this. This is going to be edited out. So just go ahead. Be honest.

[David Spade]

Yeah. This is like a practice. So we. It blows on me and I don't like it on my face. So even on the road, no matter how hot or cold, I put the. Like here. I put the heat on until I go to bed off. Then I dive in. And then I don't want to push blowing in my face. You get all clogged up. So it's suddenly a guy worked on, you know, filters because it's so thick with smoke and sickening here.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And bacterium and particulates. So I changed it so it'd be 1% better and something happened. And then it was blowing cold air 24 hours a day on me in the winter and it was so cold. I've never been colder in the house last two nights. So that's really the whole story. There's no real beginning, middle, or end of that story.

[Theo Von]

But I'll make an observation I. I'm like you. I think most people. I never want to have air conditioning directly on me.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

If it's, if it's in the. Weird in the room, but cold, ice cold air. I'd hate it in a gym when I just. You're just, you're trying to stay warm and I'm doing the lat pole and there's just cold, ice cold air coming down on me. These are first world problems, but I'm telling you, there's still problems.

[David Spade]

This is a problem when you're on the stairmaster and I start slow, I crank it up.

[Theo Von]

They don't sound anything like that.

[David Spade]

One needs some work.

[Theo Von]

That's a made up sound effect.

[David Spade]

People at home are like, maybe. I don't know. That sounds.

[Theo Von]

I used to beat the hell out of there. I got married to a StairMaster. I mean, I used to in New York because I didn't have the time to go run in the park in the middle of winter. I jump on a StairMaster.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

They should be one of our sponsors. Still around 45 minutes at the top. Drenching sweat. Thank you.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah. Dennis Miller, who's on Fly on the Wall right now, was saying he would talk to you and you were on the StairMaster for an hour and you wouldn't even be heavy breathing.

[Theo Von]

I like it. I got addicted to it in high school and, and junior college. Anaerobic pain. Like actually your, your body's screaming at you to stop and you just keep going anyway. You push through it. And then the high that you get from that is pretty, pretty amazing.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I need some sort of highs in my life. Okay. So I'm going to give you a couple updates, Dana, before we get into the nitty gritty, I'm going to try.

[Theo Von]

To keep it at under 50. Coughs.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I don't care, as long as I'm sitting next to you on a plane. The reward money for the arson I did, you know we threw that out there, right? And people bid on that hook a little too hard because as I said on last week's show, people are just a. Just straight up asking for money. P2. Yeah, I sort of saw this coming. 2. Hey, here's a video from Instagram of a fire. So here's my banking information. It's Chase Bank. Here's the account. And I'm like, well, you're just sending me a video of a fire. That doesn't count. So I sat in there to make it a little less of a scam for people and easy I said, let's. Do you have to, you know, have the cops come get someone arrested? You know, I'm sure they'll never stay in jail or in California.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

But at least arrested and then they let them out five seconds later. But it's. Something goes in the record, maybe, right. And it's more to keep people's awareness up. Eyes peeled. Like, hey, do something out there. Like, these are. These little fires can go big. And at press time right now, they're. There's a huge one again.

[Theo Von]

Where?

[David Spade]

Up, up on the 5 in Castaic. 5,000 acres like that. Right away. I'm shooting up their busboys tomorrow. And I'm freaking out right now going, oh, my God, we have a stunt. We have all this stuff. And I'm like, first problem is, it's a horrible situation for everyone in California. Another fire. Secondly, minorly. What do I do? Can we move the day? Can we. I don't know. Anyway, so.

[Theo Von]

Oh, wait a minute. It's just, just. So it's the grapevine, right? What we call the grapevine in LA.

[David Spade]

You know, what does it have 15 by Magic Mountain.

[Theo Von]

It goes up the five.

[David Spade]

Goes up the five. There's a.

[Theo Von]

But is it kind of close to Magic Mountain or up toward the top of the.

[David Spade]

It's a little above it.

[Theo Von]

Little above Magic Mountain. Got it. Okay.

[David Spade]

They're going to shut the five down or something.

[Theo Von]

They said, damn.

[David Spade]

So we need.

[Theo Von]

We need a rain. I mean, could we just get, dude.

[David Spade]

Some sprinkles? Let's just get only fans. All the squirters. Let's get them all. Do something for the fire.

[Theo Von]

That's.

[David Spade]

Come on, that'll get some press. We get all the top.

[Theo Von]

We know it. We're just desperate. We're just. Yeah, we're grabbing it, whatever you want to call it, but we. We're just trying to think of something because we were here.

[David Spade]

You're laying around. How can I help? Here's what you can do.

[Theo Von]

Literally two, a week of hard rain. There's no more fire threat.

[David Spade]

So I mean, they said there might be rain Friday, Saturday, and please, God, even if it's a sprinkle, just do something, anything.

[Theo Von]

It's crazy.

[David Spade]

So anyway, I will say, you know, thank you out there to all the brave squirters. Okay, so that joke, I sort of milked it till it was over. You have some of the kitty over here.

[Theo Von]

Did you have that in your back pocket?

[David Spade]

Look at all these.

[Theo Von]

I'm getting the greatest hits here, I think, because I'm under the weather, you're in me.

[David Spade]

You're unleashed.

[Theo Von]

Your job is to make me laugh, even though I can't laugh because I'll cough.

[David Spade]

But I love it.

[Theo Von]

But that was great. I got the greatest hits. I got the cat. I got.

[David Spade]

You got the cat licking its paws.

[Theo Von]

And then a little wink.

[David Spade]

Milk, milk, milk. Give some of the kitty. You aim it over. That's a noise. And then the kitty gets in the eye. Funny. And then he goes round and he goes.

[Theo Von]

And then he takes his little paw and.

[David Spade]

Yeah, likes it licks the milk off.

[Theo Von]

When did you first do that exactly?

[David Spade]

That one I have done before at probably.

[Theo Von]

No, I've seen it. I've seen it many times on this bot.

[David Spade]

But I've just realized now, in the rotation enough. I will say that it's a great little funny.

[Theo Von]

It's a great little set piece.

[David Spade]

It's got noises, it's got. It's quick. Yeah. So back to sadness. The sadness is the fire. Now, the other thing was the arson. And it's a little silver lining that a lot of people were like, hey, I saw a guy in my neighborhood. Like, I never would have said anything, but I'm going to let you know. And then I call the police. And then I went out and said something to him and I filmed him just to get the word out. Like, hey, come on, man, let's do this. Because these are a little garbage can. Fire can do anything. It can go to the side of a building. So there was a lot of. I don't want to say the word winners. I want to say there's a lot of people that got involved. A lot of people sent me stuff. And it's hard because they're over on TikTok. Like, how do they get a hold of me? They're just DMing and this and that. So the ones I've seen and Heather, I send them to Heather when they seem very real. And we. We did give money to someone yesterday, 5,000. So there's one gentleman. I mean, it's good in the way that just. It's a way of giving back, but also just give it physically to someone that did something. So he did something. There was an arrest report. He sent it in. We said, great, there's a cop on the set of Busboys. So we said, hey, is this real? He's like, yeah, all good. And. And there's, I think, two more that are looking like it might happen. Yeah, we're waiting for police.

[Theo Von]

Well, just before you go, what did this person see?

[David Spade]

This person Heather, he saw someone lighting a fire.

[Theo Von]

Oh, literally lighting a fire.

[David Spade]

Oh, he's letting. Lighting like egg. He's doing a lot lighting a bunch of different ones. So I guess the guy called the police, followed him.

[Theo Von]

Bald face, obvious.

[David Spade]

Yeah. And then when they found him, he smelled. Oh, he smell. And he had gasoline on him. So he smelled of gas, had gas and had previous warrants for. Oh, arson.

[Theo Von]

So that's his thing. Well, glad they got him. We don't need any arsonists right now. Wait till it rains and then you can try to light on fire.

[David Spade]

His nickname was Johnny Arson.

[Theo Von]

Is. Is a native American friend was called.

[David Spade]

Me like me, like fire, Johnny arson and Ed McFlames. So anyway, so we got that guy and then there was some more. And then there's a guy that stopped someone on a hike. And he was just saying the guy was literally lighting stuff. He's like, hey, man, you can't light. So. And some people I saw were lighting those candles in a paper bag or what are they, you know, they float over. It's some sort of.

[Theo Von]

You release them into the sky.

[David Spade]

You release them into like.

[Theo Von]

They're like the hot air balloons in a way.

[David Spade]

Thinking of the word. But they do it at a wedding video place. And people are behind him going, hey, guys, bad time. You know, don't do this. This is not the time to do that. And they're like, no, it's just for this. No, it's just for a ceremony. The word, oh, I'm going to float these up. Then they land in the mountains and everything catches on fire. So there's two more possibilities. We sort of did a cutoff because there's hundreds coming in. So anyway, that's sort of a positive note.

[Theo Von]

That's great.

[David Spade]

I won't say the guy's name. I don't think he cares. But I just thought, whatever. He got it. It's real. We have another update, which is Stephen Greer. So Dr. Stephen Greer was on her on our show that kind of blew up on YouTube.

[Theo Von]

Ufologist for a trauma doctor says, you.

[David Spade]

Know, in the next three weeks, two months, some, and it's been exactly a month. So they did have a reveal the other day. And I think this might be what he's talking about. So this is. They say the problem with this and everything in the last two years, is it real? You can't freak people out unless you see it in the sky.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[David Spade]

And it's shooting lasers or landing and people walking out. No one's really believing it or if they believe it. They don't care. So this is a helicopter. This guy is a whistleblower. He has, he runs a helicopter. I think that that takes the UFO 20ft long, shaped like an egg and dropping it somewhere.

[Dennis Miller]

News Nation has independently obtained previously unseen video obtained from a secret UAP craft retrieval program, which is also. Footage clearly shows an egg shaped object. Egg shaped sling below the belly of a helicopter.

[David Spade]

The belly. It looks green. Well, it's not. And it looks like a face. But that's. That's a helicopter with a cable.

[Theo Von]

Well, why is that green?

[Dennis Miller]

To take a close.

[David Spade]

It's night vision.

[Dennis Miller]

That's an egg shaped UAP suspended from a 150 foot long line. We're told the craft is about 20ft long. Craft egg suspended in a cradle.

[David Spade]

The egg scrambled.

[Dennis Miller]

The pilot is. As they bring their precious cargo into land. Let's freeze frame here to look at one of the clearest images of a ua.

[David Spade]

Those are the wraps around it to pick it up. It's not really clear.

[Dennis Miller]

Blurry light in a distant sky.

[Theo Von]

Where. Where's the uap? Right?

[David Spade]

It's. Where is it laying? Where did the guy say retrieval? Look at how he's a full whistleblower craft is.

[Dennis Miller]

No markings at all and no visible means of propulsion.

[David Spade]

I think since this. I found a little hieroglyphic size as.

[Dennis Miller]

It hits the ground, despite almost graceful.

[David Spade]

As it lands over easy cradle as.

[Dennis Miller]

It'S dropped for pickup.

[Theo Von]

All right, that's just a little too dramatic. If it really was an alien craft. You don't have to go and look at the alien craft.

[David Spade]

I mean, yeah, you don't have to hype it up. It will be scary enough for me.

[Theo Von]

It doesn't mean it's not true, but it felt.

[David Spade]

I don't mind hearing words like obtained and extraordinary.

[Theo Von]

Well, I can say that British sports announcers are extraordinarily better than American sports announcers. I'm sorry, but they are incredible. Here they go. The race is surely afoot. Steepe Fontaine, a sort of athletic beetle. Oh, the chunky American is completely bankrupt. I mean, the language they use is extraordinary.

[David Spade]

Formula one Jackie Stewart is coming on. He's slingshots around Max Van Steppen.

[Theo Von]

And now he's got to go. He's got to go. Now or never. This is his last chance. Jackie Stewart. Nope, nope. Yes, he's going for it. He's going for it now on the inside, the outside of his owners, you.

[David Spade]

Know, so quite remarkable.

[Theo Von]

Quite remarkable. And now, Jackie Stewart, how did you feel about the race?

[David Spade]

Extraordinary. Well, I will say this UAP might have been a whistleblower, but it's a start. And I think if they open the egg hatch, walked out. Hello, my baby. I would need something like that. That's what people are wanting.

[Theo Von]

Well, if you've ever seen, you're a little younger than I am. The Day the Earth Stood Still. A saucer lands on the White House lawn and a big giant robot comes out and starts talking.

[David Spade]

Starts up or no, no, but maybe threatening to.

[Theo Von]

And then there was an alien.

[David Spade]

What are you looking at?

[Theo Von]

Aren't you. Are you. I am Zoranor. I am a God.

[David Spade]

You now will get a good gander of my balls from down there.

[Theo Von]

We are from the planet. From the planet Balsac Sasia. And we are here to come in peace. So, so bad.

[David Spade]

That's all I have not I'll come in my genes. Excuse me, Excuse me.

[Theo Von]

Hey, man, I want to have this guy on our podcast about the universe. This astrophysicist and aliens, you know, we don't know. Do you know that if you hold up a foot long ruler up above the ground, it's 12 inches and then you put it down in the ground, it shrinks a half inch? No, it's literally not 12 inches because of sort of mass versus space and space versus time. And that might have to be a.

[David Spade]

Two parter in my. What I would use in my real life is if I climbed a ladder, would my wiener look bigger? Just so I know if I should buy a ladder for my house.

[Theo Von]

Well, you'd want to have or on the ground, a tiny house and a tiny ladder. Like everything around you has to look minuscule.

[David Spade]

The good thing is you get a ruler that's this long, then you go, okay, so this is 12. Oh, even 12. Okay, not bad. Not too shabby. Take that robot on the White House lawn.

[Theo Von]

That for you also denotes kind of. What's the thing with the tongue on either side inside the mouth?

[David Spade]

Is that what I do?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Okay. Oh, you want to fight?

[David Spade]

I don't even know I do that. That's funny. I just thought I. I was on the road with Catherine and Bobby and Catherine let me know that a. I used my hands the whole time. Almost like that Gavin Newsom video we showed, which I didn't know. And she said also you touch your face maybe 1,000 times. I'm like, no idea, no idea.

[Theo Von]

This is you doing stand up when.

[David Spade]

I do stand up. And I didn't think really.

[Theo Von]

I mean, sometimes you do this or you do this.

[David Spade]

That's funny.

[Theo Von]

I Don't know, but I don't know a thousand times.

[David Spade]

Well, maybe. What do you say about Bobby? Oh, on lights out, I go like this. Right. But it's always just stuff to. When you're delivering a joke, you want to make it look as casual and thrown away as possible. So you're just doing your.

[Theo Von]

Oh, Johnny, I think.

[David Spade]

Was it this Johnny? Is that weird? Touch his face.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, a lot.

[David Spade]

All right, this podcast is brought to you by eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with, because, let's be honest, have you ever. Now, Dana, you haven't dated. You've been married for a long time, but dating, you know, you remember, it's very tough.

[Theo Von]

Well, you know, I had some bad. Some bad dates. You know, I mean, it was rough dating back in the day because I was a busboy. That was my pers. That was who I was.

[David Spade]

Claim to fame. That was your identity.

[Theo Von]

We called ourselves table maintenance personnel managers. But it's hard to get a date when you're a busboy. And I have. My heart goes out for all the busboys in the world, but it's good to be honest. Right, David?

[David Spade]

Right. Because, you know, that's a classic situation where you try to be a little bit of someone you're not just to get in there. And I've done the same thing. I've been out and caught myself saying, oh, yeah, I'm really into decoupage, too, because you just kind of want to find a connection. There's. But it doesn't always work because you eventually come back to being yourself, and they figure you out. So the best dates are the ones where you're with someone who's acting like themselves. You're being yourself, and it flows. And that's where eHarmony comes in. They try to help you with a quiz. You know, they want to meet people. They want you to meet people that are like you and like you for the right reasons, and that makes sense. And then you can skip all. I know they say it's all games, and it's hard to avoid some of that stuff. You don't want to get breadcrumbed. You don't want to get.

[Theo Von]

I think that's a great idea that they. They sort of.

[David Spade]

Breadcrumb is a good one. That's when they. You just. Someone answers your text about once a week just to keep you around, but they don't really care about you.

[Theo Von]

Oh, is that.

[David Spade]

That's breadcrumber.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, but I think it's good. Instead of your Initial thing is right with the person on the dating app. Eharmony is sort of the middle person. That kind of quiz. It gets you with people already that are like you, you know, matches you up. I'd love for you to give eharmony a shot, David.

[David Spade]

Well, out there, you know, for our listeners, if you're thinking about it, give eharmony a shot. You get started with their compatibility quiz for free. Then you can find someone to be yourself with eharmony. Get who gets you. Okay, so you got to follow tag BETMGM across all your socials. You know this.

[Theo Von]

Are you serious?

[David Spade]

Bet. Mgm. Wow, wow, wow.

[Theo Von]

That's. That's Christopher Walken reacting to that news. Also the tagline, the sports book Born in Vegas. Wow. Vegas born sports book.

[David Spade]

They are the sports book Born in Vegas sports book.

[Theo Von]

Here.

[David Spade]

Here's this. Yes. Walking. You got it.

[Theo Von]

I'm talking walking.

[David Spade]

The second chance on a first touchdown score. Let me explain.

[Theo Von]

All season, can I finish one time? All season long bet. MGM's offering you a second chance on your first touchdown bet. When a customer place a wager on the first touchdown score bet. And he does not score first. Can I finish one time. But scores second, we will return 100% of their stake back in cash. BetMGM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. BetMGM and Game Sense Remind you to gamble responsibly. See betmgm.com for terms 21 + only. This U.S. promotional offer not available in Ontario gambling problem.

[David Spade]

Dana, call 1-800- GAMBLER available in the U.S. for New York, call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPE NY 467-369. For Arizona, call 1-800- NEXT STEP For Massachusetts, 1-800-327-5050. For Iowa, 1-800-Bets Off. For Puerto Rico, 1-800-981-0023. Subject to eligibility requirements in partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel. So that. And that's it. And the busboys update which you've been.

[Theo Von]

Clamoring for is busboys Theo Vaughan and David Spade.

[David Spade]

Theo Vaughan, of course. Theo. Hey, man, I got to go to that non garraltion. So he went out there. I stayed. Actually, he wasn't working that day Sunday, but he stayed because we had so much to shoot and you know, it's good to have there to add jokes and whatever. So we shot some hospital stuff. We shot. I don't give it all away.

[Theo Von]

Geez, I can't wait to see this movie Hospital.

[David Spade]

You're like, what could that be?

[Theo Von]

With a Hospital. Now, what is this $20 million budget?

[David Spade]

I will tell you that Theo is younger in the movie. He's like 15 when I meet him. And they cast it. Cast it. Everyone's it's cast, but I'll say casted a kid. You know, we cast a kid there and he's. He looks sort of like Kelly from the old Bad News Bears. You know, that kid on the motorcycle. Super, super cool kid. Very nice kid, Gavin. And he. He's super good looking. And I go, Theo, because I go, I'll let you pick the kid. You know, I'll stay out of that process.

[Theo Von]

Right?

[David Spade]

I said, there's no way he picked this male model to play you. It looks nothing like you. He goes, nah, man. A little bit. You can tell. I go, this is the most hysterical thing because you should have picked some dirty little mud goat roper with your little hair and just kind of looks like your mini version. No chance. No chance. This guy's like. But the kid was good. And I, I got to work with the kid. And then Theo waited around to sort of help with that. Then he scrammed out on a red eye. And then of course, he's hanging with the guy. They're sort of in a spillover room.

[Theo Von]

Because Jake, Paul or Tyson, all the.

[David Spade]

Cool guys, all the. All that film 100% of the time themselves squad. So he was with those guys, but they. He's in like metal chairs. And then he fell down. And that was one thing, but I don't know if that was a setup or not. I don't even know if he knows, but it's just something goofy that happens. And the inog, well, this can just. That's really the update on that. It's just been hard and I'm. I'll about it 24 hours a day, but it's super fun. The movie and also the inog. Any thoughts of the inog?

[Theo Von]

The inog was a barn burner. Trump went full Trump 3.0.

[David Spade]

God, the guys on both batteries are charged.

[Theo Von]

That dude can yit dit did five hours a night. And then he's talking about all the stuff he's gonna do. And then he's just in the Oval Office signing order after order with inviting the press in too. So he's doing a press conference while he's signing.

[David Spade]

Dude, you got four years. You have to draw the first day.

[Theo Von]

Then he had some woman who was kind of, you know, asking, you know, you're really going to deport all these people. We got to do it. We don't have a choice. So we don't have a country. And then he just keeps signing, you know, and then he holds them up.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I like it. I think he should read. Does he read them first? You know, you get a contract, you say you should check it out. I think they did all that ahead of time, I'm guessing, because he's like, what's this one? Guatemala.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, Guatemala, yeah.

[David Spade]

Called Trump. Amala.

[Theo Von]

The border, you know, deregulation. We're gonna drill, baby, drill. And, you know, he was just. I'd never seen a human being like that. Now I'm just observing him as a human being. Like he is 78. I. I guess he slept four hours. Had a 20 hour day. I mean, he was doing that. He did all day long. Then he goes to three galas. Three balls.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Dances, talks. It's like, what?

[David Spade]

I'm nervous. If I have five lines in the movie, the next day this guy is going to be present. Next day, doesn't matter if he sleeps or not. Wakes up, going full blast all day, eating McDonald's, drinking Diet Cokes.

[Theo Von]

And he's got the Diet Coke button. His back, he has a button just for Diet Coke. So he doesn't have to say it all day. I got what I just want. He's got.

[David Spade]

But also he is slower now and he's not running anymore. So now he's like, here's what's going on. He slowed it down and you were right.

[Theo Von]

Right. He. Well, he definitely. During the inaugural address, he. For him, he was very mellow and tame.

[David Spade]

He's turned sideways a little bit sometimes he looks. I think he's reading. Yeah, those clear glass prompters, which I don't know if everyone knows. He's got speeches written, but you can't see them. Yeah, it's very weird. Very interesting.

[Theo Von]

Everybody uses some teleprompters that are invisible kind of to the audience.

[David Spade]

They're unreal. They're kind of invisible. And you're. And he's like just kind of leaning over there and. Anything funny? Oh, I saw a photo that was funny about Melania's hat. Yeah, that's funny, right? Gotta look at her. She looks really sturdy and stiff and like, well, ready to go. Very pretty. I kind of like this look. There was a lot of good looks there.

[Theo Von]

I just give her a lot of credit because that she's making a statement that's a very potent look. And then she's very serious. But then all of a sudden she'll smile and her face completely changes. And she's super charming. And Trump was saying, when she's mad at me, she calls me sir. And then he goes, I gotta tell people that I'm kidding, or they'll just be going crazy on it. And then she smiled about that, and then she put on a gown. And it's. It is show business. I mean, Donald Trump was, you know, the real estate developer, and then he did. Had the show for eight years. Yeah. And so he's a television guy, you know, look, here, go there. And I think he made a choice, which is kind of smart. You don't go gray. You don't go gray. I keep it blondish, you know, and then all of them have teeth that are incredible. Like, you gotta have the white teeth. You gotta have be tan. You can't be pale. You gotta have an orange glow. And he's kept it. And somehow I thought, like he would. His genetics say yellow broken teeth, super pale skin, and just a little wisp of gray hair. He'd be like Bernie Sanders, except. So he shows who's older. Bernie. Bernie's on fire. It shows you all age different. Yeah, I could do him now because I my. With my cold. But yeah, he's. He speaks very well with a lot of.

[David Spade]

I have a personal question about Donald Trump, which you may answer.

[Theo Von]

I will answer in five seconds.

[David Spade]

Okay. Do you think with that diet and that pressure, does he dump? Never once a week or six times a day. This is a real question. This is what the press should be asking. When does he have time to take a dump? He's on a full blast all day, camera.

[Theo Von]

All you know is that if you asked him, I'm regular. I'm regular like you wouldn't believe. It's not a problem down there. It's not a problem. Nobody. Nobody has a bowel movement, you know, that's what his answer would be. He would never say, well, you know.

[David Spade]

When they show what your turd should look like, I look like the best one. Mine of the best turds.

[Theo Von]

I let them loose and I get them out. And I get them out. I get them out early. I get them out early, and I get them out.

[David Spade]

Float when they're supposed to float or they sink, whatever the better one is. That's what they do.

[Theo Von]

He's. I know somebody who knows Rudolph Giuliani, this is years ago, and asked him about Trump and Rudolph Giuliani said he's unclassifiable. He's like a rare insect. Like there. The Trump doesn't. Doesn't make sense. That kind of energy eating Kentucky Fried chicken, burgers, shakes, fries, filet o fish and diet coke all day long. Probably weighs 275 pounds. So, yeah, he's. He's a one off. What the hell?

[David Spade]

I will say it was a little shocking. I know everyone pardons everyone on the way out, but some of those pardons were a little. That last night at the middle of the night. Crazy, huh?

[Theo Von]

Which ones were they, you mean?

[David Spade]

Well, Fauci was really.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, Biden. Biden got PI. Yeah, the Biden crime family, they call it. Like he did all of them. I didn't even know there was that many in the family. You know, I thought maybe James.

[David Spade]

Oh, the whole family tree shows up. I know. It was like an ad for ancestry.com.

[Theo Von]

If you believe Fox news. They all got checks.

[David Spade]

Well, something happened because everyone is. They can do it. Can you rob a bank now or is. It doesn't matter. It's just a certain crime.

[Theo Von]

I think a pardon is a pardon from a president. But Fauci must be relieved.

[David Spade]

Oh, he's fucking clicking his heels.

[Theo Von]

I don't know what they.

[David Spade]

Yeah, he was shaking his boots a little bit there especially because if it's the next day, he could be in trouble, man.

[Theo Von]

He kind of said it was sort of semantics when he was up. Up in Congress, you know, Senator, I have never. The. We have never. The NIH has never funded gain of function in the Wuhan thing. And he meant later was there's different kinds of gain of function because there's emails him talking about that. So I'll give him a pass because, you know, I kind of like the guy. He's.

[David Spade]

He's a pistol, that guy who Fouche. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Anybody. He's highest. Was the highest paid government employee. And we know from just show business just anyone who's the head of a Corporation for 40 years has sharp elbows. That's a game of thrones there. He's still the head guy in his 80s. I mean, that means, you know, it's like Nancy Pelosi. She's never going. She broke her hip and she's already walking.

[David Spade]

They don't want to let go of that power. I get it. Does Fouchy still have any job? What does he do? Does he do anything over there anymore?

[Theo Von]

No, he ironically got long Covid. He's just nowhere. No, I don't know. I don't know.

[David Spade]

I think he looks like he got short co.

[Theo Von]

I think he's retired. Well, he's going to write a book. That's what they all Do.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on.

[Theo Von]

Famous lip reader girl translated Obama.

[David Spade]

Oh, Obama leaned over to George Bush and said, how do we stop this thing? Yeah, something like that. That's what a lip reader said. You can pull it up. We're on the. We're on the inaugurate. I did see that in a paper this morning. Lip reading is not a perfect science, but it's fun to watch.

[Theo Von]

It's pretty close. According to the movie 2001 A Space Odyssey.

[David Spade]

I saw an ad for that today.

[Theo Von]

And I'm like, that was the AI reading.

[David Spade]

The girl that reads the lips is partially deaf. You said she must be.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Oh, here's. Here's the bit. Okay. This is on TikTok.

[Theo Von]

Okay. There we go. Thank you.

[David Spade]

Good to see you.

[Theo Von]

Yep.

[David Spade]

Thank you. How can we stop what's happening?

[Theo Von]

How can we stop what's happening? I think that might be right.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

It's hard because it was a side angle.

[David Spade]

Yeah. She does side lips too, but whatever.

[Theo Von]

George W. Bush, like, Michelle loved him. He'd give her mints and stuff. And when they go to funerals, they'd meet up.

[David Spade]

They like Bushes.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And, you know, they like both of them, but they like him because he's funny. He's got that frat boy fun energy. How you doing? Hey, Brock.

[David Spade]

You know, so by the way, that was shown on Tick Tock, I don't know if the Tick Tock, Tick Top, Tick Tocalypse got your way. Not bad. Tick Toc lips. Oh, did you hear about it?

[Theo Von]

Didn't Trump reinstate it for now?

[David Spade]

It shut down for about not even 24 hours. Maybe 12 or something. 12. And everyone had a fit. Everyone went bazzootis. Everyone's like, I get it. I get it. We talked about last week, but it's back. I don't know how long, but it's back for at least, what, 90 days? So get your Tick Tocks in.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I mean, for me, I just. I kind of feel like I need a break. It's winter. I want to go south. So there's an island off of Cuba. I can't remember the name, but it's in the Gulf of America.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And. Yeah, and I'm going down. I'm going to fly down the Gulf of America and go to this island.

[David Spade]

Are you gonna go to the. What? Where do you cross over there? Not the Suez Canal. What's it called? Panama Canal.

[Theo Von]

Panama.

[David Spade]

Is it called America Canal?

[Theo Von]

Let's have a presidential scholar as well on our podcast.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

I want to know about executive orders and the power of them. For Democrats and Republicans, it seems like there's no Congress. It will better do this. It's really like 5,000, the president says. So, you know, I mean, so I'd love to know where that's going and what does it mean.

[David Spade]

But, yeah, I remember that when they. I didn't know much about executive orders, they just kept saying, oh, Biden can close the. Close the border with one executive order. But they're not doing it. They want to vote on it. They want to do a whole rigmarole about it. Is that true?

[Theo Von]

There's a lot of different regulations that Trump put on the border and Biden rescinded them sincerely. Now Trump wants to put back remain in Mexico. So you come to the border, they arraign you, yada, yada, dada, but you got to go back and wait in Mexico as opposed to wait in the US and so I guess that's back. I don't know.

[David Spade]

But where do you wait in the U.S. do you wait over the border and somewhere holding? Or is it like.

[Theo Von]

No, you just, you just. You'll have an arraignment and then we'll see you later. I don't think they have follow you or anything thing.

[David Spade]

And then it's the honor system.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Okay. Okay, let's start looking at stories. Let's see what's going on. Oh, I thought this was good. This was after the big college title game, championship game. And this is the quarterback and the coach being led out, I think, to the trophy ceremony after the game. Okay, you deserve it, brother.

[Theo Von]

Thank you. Thank you.

[David Spade]

It's okay.

[Dana Carvey]

It's okay.

[David Spade]

Broken axle.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[David Spade]

She can't look at. It's pretty bad, actually.

[Theo Von]

Wow. I used to think it would bounce off.

[David Spade]

I thought it was.

[Theo Von]

She wasn't going that fast.

[David Spade]

Hysterical. So that's like the guy who just won the game. And there's a coaches and some players in there. They're like, you got to walk for here.

[Theo Von]

And it was.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it runs right into a wall. Love it.

[Theo Von]

Why did someone yell, you deserved it?

[David Spade]

I think they meant, you deserve the win.

[Theo Von]

Oh, and before they hit it, put F word.

[David Spade]

Yeah, people are throwing that F word around. I don't like it. Go ahead. What's the next one?

[Theo Von]

I could play that one.

[David Spade]

Heather made me put a straw in here, and I'm like, I don't need it. She goes, yeah, you do, actually. You do. And I'm like this. See me digging that goddamn straw.

[Theo Von]

You have a great diet. Heather keeps you you know, gets you a little bit.

[David Spade]

Now, this is a sponsor.

[Theo Von]

Dana, I'm observing something. I. I'd like to make an observation.

[David Spade]

Great diet. Because I can't eat because she buried the straw in the bottom. It's in quicksand. Okay, so this is a house. Dana, could you stay in a house for an hour for $5 million?

[Theo Von]

What is that, a haunted house or something? Show me the video. I would say you can handle it. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Okay. That's it. That's interesting.

[Theo Von]

5 million. Debt or gross?

[E]

5 million in an hour. You just have to stay in this room for an hour to easily take home 5 million. This room, located in Seattle, USA, was built by Microsoft at a cost of 10 million. For some reason, the quietest place on earth. The labs, just for this contest. Two layers of solid steel plates sealed with 30 centimeter thick concrete, which is enough to block out sound.

[David Spade]

Sounds like a razor commercial.

[E]

Equipped with unique fiberglass mirrors that can absorb sound waves. The sound level inside, 20 decibels. Sitting inside, you can hear your heartbeat, lungs expanding and even your joints moving. When the lights go out, all your senses feel as if they have been taken away. Making you feel as if you are in the universe. Since the lab opens for challenges, no one has ever successfully completed it. Those who attempted the challenge averaged less than a minute. The longest record is 58 minutes and 57 seconds. And even then, the challenger almost went insane. He said that in the room you feel an unprecedented sense of loneliness pressing down on you so hard that you can barely breathe. In the face of such a huge reward, what would you.

[Theo Von]

Well, those people are. Of course. You stay in the room and all.

[David Spade]

You do is act like it's so easy.

[Theo Von]

Well, because that's. Are. Are you allowed? You're. You're. There's no rules. You can yell, right? So you distract the silence by making noise. You just go for an hour. Would you do that for $5 million? Let me see you do it.

[David Spade]

Like this. Yeah, you turn yourself into a sing or something.

[Theo Von]

I would get in the fetal position like a baby and just rock myself.

[David Spade]

I wonder if you talk if it's super loud.

[Theo Von]

I would just mumble then, by the.

[David Spade]

Way, why did they build it? What do they need it for?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, what is the point?

[David Spade]

Yeah, just have a contest in who built it. Mr.

[Theo Von]

Beast reminds me of the Twilight Zone where this is gentleman's club. And this one guy just talks, talks, talks, talks. And then somebody says, I bet you couldn't talk for one year. I'll give you like a million dollars. Like 18. One year. One year. Something like that. And so they put him in this room and he couldn't speak. I'm. I'm thinking remembering as a year. Didn't speak for a year. And he came out and the guy gave him the money and said, how. How did you do it? And you saw that he had his. Slow. His throat slit. So he couldn't talk, didn't kill him, but he. He had a turtle icon, so. Oh, it's called a twist ending, David.

[David Spade]

I know. I think they paid someone to talk for a year. Whitney Cummings. Do you know her?

[Theo Von]

Anyway, she's got a lot of words. Words per minute.

[David Spade]

That.

[Theo Von]

That one.

[David Spade]

A lot of WPMs.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

No, that just sounded funny though.

[Theo Von]

I'd have to research that quiet room built by Microsoft.

[David Spade]

I will. Why are they building this stupid place.

[Theo Von]

90 seconds ago and couldn't suck it up for a million?

[David Spade]

They said most people can't do one minute and most. Such a eerie feeling.

[Theo Von]

Interesting.

[David Spade]

I guess a lot of people, you know what? They don't like money.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they don't like money. It makes everything simple when you figure out that you literally don't like money.

[David Spade]

Yeah. You want to go in there? If you like money, go in.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, but what if you love money to a point where it's almost psychotic? Like you love money just to. Just to have money. I can hold it, look at it, and sometimes eat it in a salad.

[David Spade]

I like to rub it on my body. By the way, Gervitz, because he's such a workaholic, he goes, I drive into work every day. I still go to the office, see some people work. And he's way out in Malibu by a Joffrey. So he's like, takes me 2 hours, 20 minutes, but I do it.

[Theo Von]

2 hours and 40 minutes, last I heard.

[David Spade]

Well, believe me, I accidentally weighs it and it was about an hour 16. But, you know, fine, I'll let him puff it up. I'll fudge the numbers.

[Theo Von]

Let him have his day.

[David Spade]

I'll let you have your big overwhelming number. You say 240. Everyone's like, Whoa, by the way, my set tomorrow is an hour 30. I'm like, oh, each way.

[Theo Von]

Well, when he move. What's your set tomorrow? An hour 30.

[David Spade]

What do you mean way the heck out in. Because in the movie we live near.

[Theo Von]

Oh, you're gonna. You're set. I thought, stand up. You're gonna drive 90 minutes to the set.

[David Spade]

No, I'm gonna do a set tonight just to practice because I haven't gone on in a while and. And it's good to just bop on, but I'm just good to give the gift of my act.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Spade]

All right, next story. Foreign. Listen, it's a new year. New year of proposals.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. Lots of people popping the big question. Sure, it's a huge moment, but what they don't tell you is how many decisions you have to make when choosing the perfect engagement ring.

[David Spade]

David, there's. I can think of six questions off top of my head. Shape, size, color, cut, clarity, carrots, you know.

[Theo Von]

Damn. Yeah, that's fantastic. Off the top here, Ed. No, there's no place better to start than bluenile.com because they know what she wants, and so it's time to learn fast.

[David Spade]

Yeah, they do this every day. They know. They'll take the guesswork out for. You guys don't know anything. I don't know anything. You know, you go in there, bluenile.com you'll create a bigger, more brilliant engagement ring than you can imagine. Price you won't find at a traditional jeweler. It's been since 1999, they've been the original online jeweler.

[Theo Von]

That's right. They've always been committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. Their diamond price guarantee means that in most cases, they'll meet or be beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond.

[David Spade]

And you know, it's a surprise usually. So it'll stay safe because every Blue Nile order is insured, arrives in packaging that won't give away what's inside. Most cases even delivered overnight. Blue nile has a 100% satisfaction guarantee with free shipping and returns. So you can make sure the ring you pick is the one. Love can last forever. But you know, you get free service and repairs for life, so you're covered.

[Theo Von]

Wow. I mean, come on. If you're gonna make a move, you gotta use Blue. Blue Nile. Don't wander downtown and have some guy. We got. Let me get that eyepiece out. You can check out the diamond. If you wink, you want it.

[David Spade]

And the dick of Wyman.

[Theo Von]

We got one. We got one made of wood. We jotted up twice.

[David Spade]

Right now, 50 off your purchase of 500 or more with code [e-mail]. that's 50 off with code [e-mail].

[Theo Von]

That'S blue nile.com.

[David Spade]

What is.

[Theo Von]

Dax, are you tracking all our cars on Carvana value tracker on all our devices? Yes, Kristen. Yes, I am.

[Dana Carvey]

While I've been looking for my phone.

[Theo Von]

For in Dax's domain, we see all. So we always know what our cars are worth.

[Dana Carvey]

All of them.

[Theo Von]

All of them. Value surge trucks up 3.9%.

[Dana Carvey]

That's a great offer.

[Theo Von]

I know.

[Dana Carvey]

Sell sell.

[Theo Von]

Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today.

[David Spade]

If you have health insurance, you might be able to see a personal dietitian for $0. Out of pocket Nourish connects you with a dietitian that fits your needs covered by your insurance. Nourish accepts hundreds of insurance plans and 94% of patients pay $0 out of pocket. Meet with your diaper dietitian online and message them anytime through the Nourish app. With hundreds of five star reviews from real patients, you know you're in good hands. Find your [e-mail] that's usenourish.com early screening of Mission Impossible.

[Theo Von]

The final wrecking reportedly almost caused a heart attack for an audience member.

[David Spade]

Now, I know what this is. I'll tell you what this is right now. Just. Just hearing that.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Hi.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[David Spade]

They have to hype it because I see on the Daily Mail they must have some deal with Netflix because it goes, this new movie is so scary. Two people threw up in the theater and everyone's like, oh, I gotta see that movie.

[Theo Von]

And I didn't scare me at all. I thought it was fun and great, but.

[David Spade]

Right. And people go, oh, this movie. People were walking out, which sounds bad because they were so scared. And people like, oh, I bet I could handle it. And so you get people. So these kind of early things you hear about a movie, the trailer teases intense action, including submarine and aerial stunts. Well, I mean, listen, we know it's Tom Cruise. I don't want to sound like a hater because I do like these movies. I'll probably go see it. But they're all sort of blurring into the same movie. Like, he runs here really fast.

[Theo Von]

I think this is number eight.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, Fast and Furious. I kind of. Haven't they run out of gas yet?

[Theo Von]

Well, I had to write a new theme for myself because I saw one of these, then I saw the next one and it was like, not as good.

[David Spade]

That's like a good Hollywood minute.

[Theo Von]

Not as good. Not the same.

[David Spade]

All the same. Seen it once, you'll see it again. We know that they learn from Fast and Furious.

[Theo Von]

Everyone goes, seen it before. Isn't great. Is great.

[David Spade]

He's a bit older. Not much older.

[Theo Von]

I tell you what, I would love to have Tom Cruise on this Podcast. I don't do it because it's easy. I do it because it's hard because I want to understand where how he is sprinting like that. Is it sped up effects because that's I. I know he swims underwater, hangs off planes, but sprinting at. At 60 or whatever, it's 62. Like they show him sprinting is pretty extraordinary.

[David Spade]

So in hard shoes, I bet he sneaks some Skechers on under there. You know when they do the close ups.

[Theo Von]

Dun dun dun dun, dun, dun dun. Wear sketchers. Where's Sket?

[David Spade]

I wear Skechers. They look like hard shoes. I wear them. They spray paint them black.

[Theo Von]

But go falsetto for a second for me with something done, done, done, done, done, done. No reason for another Mission Impossible movie.

[David Spade]

There's hot chick in everyone that comes out. You will like her.

[Theo Von]

28. 28.

[David Spade]

I'm 68. She's 22. She's.

[Theo Von]

And you're 75. 5 5. Too much of an age gap. Too much of an age gap. That's not even a rhythm. Too much.

[David Spade]

No one mentions she's too young.

[Theo Von]

It's great. But every woman that I know that has power is going way younger too. So it's not just a man.

[David Spade]

Two way street. Hey, Bill Belichick. Go.

[Theo Von]

Bill Belichick is great. And I, I did a podcast. Him is such a nice, sweet guy. I can see why she's like in brilliant.

[David Spade]

The football get in there between sex. Let's huddle up.

[Theo Von]

Done. Done. D d give it. Check. 73, 21. Heart attack.

[David Spade]

Too too much.

[Theo Von]

Check with your cardiologist. See if you could take the beating.

[David Spade]

Used to be pro. Now it's college. Because he coaches college now.

[Theo Von]

Why is that so funny? Because it's. It's just information.

[David Spade]

It doesn't really even fit that.

[Theo Von]

It's not a. It's not a put down. She's like you should be now it's colleague kind of sort of a. Has been used to be probably. But college is not a step down. There's college players because of NIH and all these rules that they stay in college as long as they can. Name image like grandpa.

[David Spade]

No, it's my.

[Theo Von]

Gymnast from LSU. Very pretty young lady. Makes 4 million. Makes 4 million for going to college.

[David Spade]

He does tick tock. If I tell him I see him on tick tock, he's like, hey, Makaran or whatever. I'm like, oh boy.

[Theo Von]

I'm starting to like the Trump dance. Just.

[David Spade]

I like Trump Dan. He comes up just. He puts about as Much into it as me in, like, a fight scene. I'm like, this. I can do this. I don't need a stunt man.

[Theo Von]

They're like, oh, it's the funniest.

[David Spade]

Like, who would.

[Theo Von]

I don't even know what Obama's dance is or Jimmy Carter's was or any of these presidents.

[David Spade]

All the girls want Obama, that's for sure.

[Theo Von]

Rumors of trouble in paradise. I don't repeat rumors, but.

[David Spade]

He came solo. What is the deal?

[Theo Von]

Separation, trial. Where is she? Time apart. C. If it's better for both of them. Trial separation. Is Heather laughing or we're just punchy?

[David Spade]

She's kind of quietly laughing.

[Theo Von]

Well, Heather, do one. Can you hand her a mic?

[David Spade]

Yeah. Heather, yell one. Thank you for bringing back TikTok.

[Theo Von]

It's a joke going around.

[David Spade]

Oh, he says they're thinking Obama.

[Theo Von]

It's like a dis to Trump.

[David Spade]

Oh, no, I'm actually thinking president. Oh, they try to say that Obama fixed Tick Tock because. Did you. It's good. It was a good swing. And you don't have a microphone, so you like going against it. But I understand. What was the thing where. Who's the speaker? Mike somebody. Mike Johnson. Have you seen when he talks about meeting with Biden, goes, sir, why did you do this? He goes, I didn't do that. He goes, yes, you did. He goes, I said, we'll look into it. He goes, no, you did do. You did sign that bill. And he goes, who's there?

[Theo Von]

Geez. He's gone downhill even since I did him on snl.

[David Spade]

I know when he's. When he's at the inauguration, he's just staring in his face with his wife, Jones. He's like this. I like this guy. And she's like, no, you don't. It's Trump. He goes, oh, I don't.

[Theo Von]

I'll tell you one thing, because that was in the indoors. And they placed Biden and Mrs. Biden, Joe Biden, right next to each other, right over Trump's shoulder, and he's just giving him the biggest beatdown. It's been a total disaster. And Biden is looking down, itching his face like, what is this talk about?

[David Spade]

What's he talking about? That guy sounds like a real jerk.

[Theo Von]

We're going to take our country back. We're going to take it back. We all know how to take it back. Everybody sees it, everybody's talking about it, and we're taking it back. And Biden and they took a beat down, man. It was. It was for the ages.

[David Spade]

All right. Next story. We. We beat out.

[Theo Von]

I guess I'm gonna retire the mission impossible thing.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Unless it comes up again. We can always.

[Theo Von]

I will never, I'll never. It'll never ever go totally away. All right. Good morning. Good morning.

[David Spade]

This is a u. S. Naval recruiting office in Alhambra. That's right around here. Okay, Play it. They are Asian. You wouldn't think so. Okay, so every recruiter here is Chinese, as well as all the people coming to a list. Unless the working language is Chinese. This was filmed by a YouTube, a Chinese YouTuber. So there. You can turn it off. It's too loud. And I don't know Chinese as well as I thought I did. Is that mandarin? Dana, does that just mean Chinese? It's a matter.

[Theo Von]

Because it's a dialect in China. Yeah. I was. I went with my wife because my feet are kind of gnarly. I know. You're a bath guy. You're a bubble bath.

[David Spade]

I used. Yeah, I still do.

[Theo Von]

You're a bubble bath guy. So you can reach. And you wash your feet intentionally. But I don't take baths. So I'm in a shower, and I don't have nowhere to put my foot, so my feet are gnarly. So I went to a nowhere to put my foot. Well, if I'm trying to clean my feet and stuff. Oh, you're Lift up.

[David Spade]

Oh, you don't have a step or something?

[Theo Von]

Not really. And then I can't. I'm not wearing readers in the shower, so I'm Mr. Magoo in there.

[David Spade]

So you don't know where your feet are.

[Theo Von]

Long story short, I go to a place, they call it a mani pedi. You know all this because you're a metrosexual? Manicure pedicure. Pedicure is the hands. I don't do that. But they're doing my feet, and they're incredibly charming. People from somewhere in Asia set it up. So I said, how do you say thank you in Mandarin? And she. She said, ah. We are Vietnamese, you know, And I go. Me. And they go. That means hello in Vietnamese. No. I asked her, what is thank you in Vietnamese? She said, come on, come on, come.

[David Spade]

On, come on, come on. Come and get some.

[Theo Von]

No. She's like, come on, come on. You gotta do the accent. Come on. You're doing it right. A lot of people come in and say, come on. You know, like, American accent. You're best.

[David Spade]

So I say, you know, you say, thank you. You go, rack them.

[Theo Von]

That is my mani Patty story. That is my man. Not really. Interesting.

[David Spade]

Well, the Navy's gonna have some Chinese people. So that's good or bad? I don't know. They're allowed. Allowed to get other.

[Theo Von]

The American Navy is going to have foreign nationals and a military. No.

[David Spade]

It seems like it.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[David Spade]

From that video. It just seemed like it.

[Theo Von]

I. I don't know. Can't we all get along? I'm an old hip.

[David Spade]

We're gonna get along. Because I don't. I don't want a war.

[Theo Von]

Me neither. I hate.

[David Spade]

What is this? A guy with pants on or a towel or what? Let's play it. This is a 900 towel skirt imagined by Balenciaga.

[Theo Von]

It manipulates a belt and button closure to bring shower.

[David Spade]

Yes. To rub his wiener on the way down.

[Theo Von]

This is a 900. So this guy's clothes on. You get out of a shower and you put that on so it won't fall down. It's a towel with a button.

[David Spade]

No, you wear it out. Shower.

[Theo Von]

New clothing.

[David Spade]

It's clothing. It's like a skirt.

[Theo Von]

It's like a skirt and you put it on outside and walk around.

[David Spade]

Like when Dana's like, what the is going on in the world?

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Yes. And it's expensive. 900 towel comes with a button.

[Theo Von]

That's great. 900 to put a button on a towel. Call it a skirt. Okay.

[David Spade]

I'm in the wrong biz.

[Theo Von]

It's a good business plan. You know.

[David Spade]

Sex.

[Theo Von]

You know, Cat and I are doing.

[David Spade]

Yeah. How much was it? 900. Balenciaga. I like that Balenciaga. Got in trouble for some sketchy stuff. And they're back full swing. Nobody gives a fat buck anymore.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. There's no more cancel culture kind of. Right. Or. I mean, unless it's Harvey Weinstein or something. That's a. That's a good one. But he's.

[David Spade]

He's literally grandfathered in. Okay. What's another one? Do we have any other ones?

[Theo Von]

Oh.

[David Spade]

How would you like to be skiing and this happens? This is really worst case scenario. You're skiing. You're on the lift. This can be a great day. Go ahead. A freezing geyser of water and you can't move. Look at the guy's kicking his legs. What do you do, Dana?

[Theo Von]

Freezing. Got.

[David Spade]

Well, it's freezing water on your snow. So it's freezing as it hits you. Literally freezing. I would have to jump off. I'd have to find some way out. I couldn't take it.

[Theo Von]

Well, first of all, for the people driving. So you're just going down a ski lift? Apparently the ski lift Stops and then there's a broken main or something and ice, ice, ice cold water is spraying up on you and freezing on your body. And they're just hanging there. What happened? Did they jump or.

[David Spade]

I don't know. Tick tock didn't tell me the rest.

[Theo Von]

Would you jump? Would be safe to jump.

[David Spade]

I saw one where the ski lift went on five times as fast and people were whipping around at the bottom and it just throws them off. And everyone's jumping back going, what are you doing? And people are coming, they're going, jump off. And then it goes caduce, you know that on that hairpin and it just flips them backwards upside down and people are flying. That one's gnarly. We'll play that next week.

[Theo Von]

Danglers are kind of funny. I'm not really into danglers. You know, I always get a little nervous when I'm dangling. You know, like you just some amusement park ride that's going up and just have this little thing. But I would say, have you ever been on a tram and it's like 2, 000ft down and even though you know the odds are in your favor, you're like, I'll be glad when we get to the base camp.

[David Spade]

Sure.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

I'll tell you this. When you see these people, like let's say this, and they say it was like that for 11 minutes or they were dangling upside on a roller coaster and they got saved after 40 minutes, in your head, you think, I could probably take 40 minutes. That. But when you're there, there's no time limit. You don't know that yet. So in your head you're spinning out going, this could be three days. Can I live? But when you hear later, they were saved and the time frame, maybe I could do that long. But you don't know.

[Theo Von]

I've told you this before, I think, but maybe only once. I was somewhere doing a corporate date and then I was gonna christen a roller coaster, but it was gigantic. It was like Magic Mountain on acid. And I'm watching it upside down and turning and going like a pretzel in the sky, you know, like a five mile loop. And then I'm going, okay, I'll do it. You know, all right, fine. And then they go, the temperature just dropped too much. You can't go. So of course to be, be a hero. I said, are you kidding me? I want on that thing now. But anyway, I didn't have to do this silly thing.

[David Spade]

You were never going.

[Theo Von]

Because if it goes up and then if it Freezes upside down. Then they've got to get the hook and ladder, and you just have. It ruins your.

[David Spade]

Not a chance in the world I would do that. I'm such a magnanimous puss dandelion. I could not be upside down. I don't really. I.

[Theo Von]

Well, I'm trying to calm down. Most of my life. I. I don't. Not looking for, you know, thrill rights at this point in my existence. I'd rather be on a seaside chateau with a cocktail, looking at the seals.

[David Spade]

Playing on the beach, My mandula oblongata getting slapped around my head and my C5.

[Theo Von]

You get enough adrenaline rush from just walking out on a stage, stand up all the time.

[David Spade]

I get adrenaline from seeing that the fires are contained. They're not even fully contained, the regular ones. Now we got this new mother effer out there. All right, we can wrap up. Dan. Let me see.

[Theo Von]

It's so. Hopefully the next fly on the wall or podcast. I will not. This disease.

[David Spade]

You were fine, Dana. No one has any complaints.

[Theo Von]

You know, you cough a lot over a period of days. It's kind of. I'm not complaining. A lot of people have it worse in the world, but it's a little bit uncomfortable.

[David Spade]

When we get off the air, I'll. I'll ask you if you have any extra coding cough syrup, and then I'll drive up there three hours just to get.

[Theo Von]

It's the one thing I'm allergic to.

[David Spade]

No, I get it. Anyway, I've got stocking stuffer.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I mean, for me, it just hasn't kicked in yet, you know?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

That's all.

[David Spade]

Anyway, don't hide, divide. You know what I'm saying? Don't be tight.

[Theo Von]

Splurge on the urge to emerge.

[David Spade]

You know what I learned in school? How to share. Okay. All right, so, Dana, I learned watching cartoons.

[Theo Von]

What's up, doc?

[David Spade]

Yeah, what's up, doc?

[Theo Von]

So we've learned a lot.

[David Spade]

Okay, thanks, everybody, for whatever and watching.

[Theo Von]

And we're gonna have some guests coming up pretty soon. We're gonna expl explore AI and bitcoin. We have a lot of questions for these people, so stay tuned.

[David Spade]

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.