SUPERFLY #53 - Communicating with Animals

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade Episode Summary: SUPERFLY #53 - Communicating with Animals Release Date: January 31, 2025

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Introduction In this engaging episode of Superfly, hosts Dana Carvey and David Spade delve into a variety of entertaining topics, blending their signature humor with insightful discussions. From anecdotes about their interactions with UFC star Nate Diaz to humorous takes on artificial intelligence and heartfelt stories about their pets, Dana and David deliver a memorable episode that captivates both longtime fans and new listeners.

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Interactions with Nate Diaz The episode kicks off with Dana and David reminiscing about their experience working with UFC fighter Nate Diaz, who guest-starred in their project. David shares, “[02:34] ‘He’s just like a little wiry dude. He’ll beat up anyone and he doesn’t care at all. That’s the way I want to live my life.’” Nate's portrayal of a tough character and his real-life bravado provide ample material for the hosts to joke about, highlighting the blend of comedy and camaraderie on set.

Dana adds humorously about their on-set interactions, recounting a moment when Theo, a fellow contributor, warned Nate Diaz against getting into too many fights to avoid ending up in a wheelchair. Nate’s retort, “You think I’m scared? I’m not scared of anyone,” showcases his fearless persona, prompting David to comment, “[04:14] ‘That's either brave or naive. I'm going to say it's both, I think.’” This light-hearted exchange underscores the dynamic between the comedians and their guest, emphasizing their ability to blend humor with genuine conversation.

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Anecdotes from Production Dana and David share various behind-the-scenes stories from their production experiences. Dana describes how Theo adds clever lines both on and off camera, enhancing the comedic value of their projects. “[05:41] ‘Theo says very clever things like you would think or you might not think.’” They discuss the challenges and joys of filming, including dealing with harsh weather conditions and managing on-set mishaps, such as Dana’s wig being knocked off during a simulated windstorm incident. David reflects, “[07:34] ‘It's very clever the way he [Theo] presents his comedy. He has his own lane.’”

The hosts also touch upon the creative decisions behind their projects, such as opting for authenticity over celebrity guest appearances. Dana remarks, “[08:40] ‘If it feels authentic with you and Theo and just feels thrown away and two guys having fun, I think that's a good lane to be in personally.’” This commitment to genuine storytelling and humor is a recurring theme throughout the episode.

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Artificial Intelligence and Current Events Shifting gears, Dana and David engage in a humorous yet critical discussion about the latest developments in artificial intelligence. They highlight the emergence of affordable AI technologies, like Deep Seek, and the implications of such advancements. David jokes, “[12:10] ‘They’re real aliens. They’re not the other guy.’” Dana adds skepticism about AI's capabilities, especially concerning translating animal communication, saying, “[23:04] ‘Bullfucking shit.’”

The hosts explore the potential and pitfalls of AI, referencing how companies have managed to reduce costs while developing sophisticated AI systems. Dana muses, “[16:05] ‘But they can teach the AI, let me go look up the book.’” Their banter reflects both fascination and apprehension about AI’s role in modern life, blending factual insights with comedic critique.

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Heartfelt and Hilarious Pet Stories A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to heartwarming and funny stories about Dana and David’s pets. They share amusing anecdotes about their cats and dogs, illustrating the quirky behaviors that make pet ownership both challenging and delightful.

David recounts his experiences with a mischievous cat named Boots, humorously admitting, “[28:41] ‘This cat is an idiot.’” Dana shares a tale about his dog, Princess, who often interrupted filming by demanding attention, leading to moments like being unintentionally assaulted by the pet. “[45:31] ‘Every time I'm yelling, I couldn't yell. They go, don't call him by his name.’” These stories are interspersed with their playful teasing and affectionate camaraderie, creating a relatable and entertaining narrative for listeners.

The hosts also showcase amusing pet videos submitted by listeners, including clips of dogs reacting humorously to their favorite TV shows. David comments on one such video, “[40:07] ‘That's all.’” These segments add a personal touch to the episode, highlighting the universal bond between humans and their animal companions.

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Humorous Takes on Pop Culture and Media Dana and David frequently reference popular culture, parodying celebrities, movies, and commercials. They discuss various impressions and skits, including Dana’s portrayal of Martha Stewart and David’s take on Captain America. “[30:20] ‘I like everything I’m hearing.’” Their commentary on media personalities and franchises is laced with sharp wit and observational humor, providing listeners with laugh-out-loud moments.

The hosts also reminisce about their past ventures in commercial parodies and movie tie-ins, sharing behind-the-scenes insights and humorous reflections on their creative processes. This blend of nostalgia and comedic analysis offers a rich tapestry of content that resonates with a wide audience.

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Sponsor Segments Throughout the episode, Dana and David incorporate sponsored segments seamlessly into their conversations. They promote services like Blue Nile for engagement rings, Kickoff for credit building, Acorns for investment, and Rosetta Stone for language learning. These segments are delivered with their characteristic humor, ensuring that advertisements feel integrated rather than intrusive.

For example, while discussing New Year’s resolutions, David quips, “[50:37] ‘You said you were going to go to the gym every day last year.’” This playful approach to sponsorships maintains the episode’s entertaining flow while informing listeners about useful services.

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Conclusion As the episode wraps up, Dana and David reflect on their experiences and interactions from the week, expressing gratitude towards their listeners and teasing future content. Their infectious energy and genuine camaraderie leave listeners eagerly anticipating the next episode. With a perfect blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions, Superfly #53 - Communicating with Animals offers a delightful listening experience that underscores why Dana Carvey and David Spade remain beloved figures in the entertainment world.

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Notable Quotes:

• David Spade: “[02:34] ‘He’s just like a little wiry dude. He’ll beat up anyone and he doesn’t care at all. That’s the way I want to live my life.’”

• Dana Carvey: “[04:14] ‘That's either brave or naive. I'm going to say it's both, I think.’”

• David Spade: “[12:10] ‘They’re real aliens. They’re not the other guy.’”

• Dana Carvey: “[28:41] ‘This cat is an idiot.’”

• David Spade: “[45:31] ‘Every time I'm yelling, I couldn't yell. They go, don't call him by his name.’”

• Dana Carvey: “[50:37] ‘You said you were going to go to the gym every day last year.’”

These quotes exemplify the hosts' humorous and candid style, providing listeners with snapshots of their dynamic interactions and comedic flair.

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Final Thoughts Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade masterfully combines humor with genuine conversations, offering listeners a window into the lives and minds of two comedy legends. Episode #53 stands out for its diverse range of topics, from celebrity guest interactions and AI discussions to endearing pet stories, all delivered with the hosts' unmistakable charm and wit.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I went down the memory lane on an Airbnb I occupied once, and it was. I'll just say it. Awesome. It's clean, it was tidy, it was beautiful. It was private. Great big kitchen right next to a forest. What's not to like, David?

[A]

You check that box thing. I'd like to be near a forest. That's a good thing. A lot of people like Airbnb because you can do that. You can say, hey, I want a place with a pickleball court. You know, and they can find.

[B]

Yeah, you can be in town, you can be in the suburbs, you can be in the country. I mean, you can have a pool. You cannot have a pool. I mean, the benefits of Airbnb are just the flexibility of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the locations and privacy compared to hotels.

[A]

Listen, hotels are fine, and that's great. But sometimes I think if you get into an Airbnb and you see the convenience and all the things, you have to walk by people in the hallway and nod, get on the elevator and talk about the weather so you realize that it might really be more tailored for you. And it's the turns into the perfect accommodation. Whether you're with family, friends, whatever, you're on your own, you know, Consider Airbnb for your next adventure. I don't think you'll regret the switch. Hey, welcome to Superfly. It's David Spade with his greasy hair and, yeah, Dana, who's nice and fluffy and fluffed.

[B]

And I'm fluffed and folded. I've been preening for 11 hours and I got my light.

[A]

I just got off of busboys and came here and look at that greasy hair.

[B]

Bus boys. David Spade and Theo on are the bus boys are the bus.

[A]

We did put a picture on Instagram today for the first time, but it's not our outfits, but. Oh, but this UFC fighter, Nate Diaz was the first person we said cast. And he plays one of the kind of bad guys, and he's just a. Well, bad.

[B]

I'll see anything with With Nate Diaz, anything. Because those Diaz brothers, man.

[A]

Oh, you know him?

[B]

Yeah, I watch it all the time with. With my son.

[A]

He's just like a little wiry dude. He'll beat up anyone and he doesn't care at all. That's the way I want to live my life. Like him?

[B]

Yeah, he's a badass. He did kind of reverse chokehold. They like last year, it was outside a club, and he got the guy bent down and he choked him out. So, yeah, street fighter, man just takes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Punishment.

[A]

He's got a guy with him and then one of the guys, I think if he accidentally gets in a fight, the guy just films it, like, hey, why not? You know.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's what, like, you know, you're scrappy. If I'm out with you somewhere and you get in a fist fight, that camera is coming out and I'm pressing record and I'm pressing send. You've been warned because.

[A]

And I'm present. Post.

[B]

And I'm pressing post, and I'm counting.

[A]

You're posting it. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I dming Nate Diaz about it. Say, guess what? There's a new sheriff in town.

[A]

He says today, he's exactly what you think. He's kind of looked at. He's got his arms like this. We have him playing one of the bad guys. Anyway, he's like beating up a guy in the scene. And we come on Theo and I talk to him, and then we're walking over to watch playback, and he goes. And Theo goes, man, don't get. Don't get too many more fights. Don't end up in a wheelchair. He goes, yeah, I don't want to end up in a wheelchair. I got to quit before I get all goofy looking. I go, oh, you don't think you're goofy looking now? Spade goes right for the jugular. You think I'm scared? I'm not scared of anyone.

[B]

That's. That's. That's either brave or naive. I'm going to say. It's neve. It's both, I think.

[A]

When you're a comedian and he's a cool dude and he likes comedy and he was. He was. For a guy like that to be excited to be on the. Be excited to be in it, and we DM a little bit about it. I think it's. It's fun. You have to kind of do some jokes and jabs because that's sort of what they want. You're out. When you're out, people want you to.

[B]

Be regular humans, which we were until we fought through stage fright. For, for me it was like a decade. But especially I would have a panic attack perennially all day. So when they see anybody walking out on stage, doing stand up, acting all calm and confident, joking around, what's up. It's like, because I don't want to go in the cage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With, you know, I don't know who's the bad. The greatest promoter. I'll give you that. The greatest promoter.

[A]

You know, I go to ufc. Yeah. Sorry, not my right out of a Lucky Charms commercial.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And so I think this, it's always the same, like, I can't do ufc. They like people that don't do what they do. You know how it is. So.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

Anyway, it was super fun to have them there. Today was not as freezing as the last couple days. But Theo all day is. Does say very clever things like you would think or you might not think.

[B]

But was it when the camera's rolling or it's just clever.

[A]

No cater. Both.

[B]

Both.

[A]

Waiting or waiting in the car and I'm freezing and I go, I got long johns on. He goes, you do? I was thinking of wearing long johns if I ever get married.

[B]

And so a camera. Got that, you guys.

[A]

It's just in the car. And then we get out, we go, hey, are we Mike? They go, get us in the car. Just talking before we get out in the scene. Because it's funny to hear what we pull in and say and then get out. Has nothing to do with the scene.

[B]

Always Rolling Productions is the name of my production company. And you want to catch those little throwaways. I just think Long John's is like. Long John's got a funny word. You know, it's like, it's like. Yeah. I mean, you know, I, I, I feel like I'm like a porcupine, you know?

[A]

Yeah, I know. He goes. I go, I said, it's so funny. Me. You were Long John's. If you ever get married someday. He goes, yeah, because I want to be warm. He goes, I actually want to be warm more than I want to be married.

[B]

So he knows he's doing a bit.

[A]

He's just, it's. But it's all, it's well constructed. Like it's just whatever he's saying is good.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And all day. And then we laugh and then we try to put something in that movie because we say some. A rainforest cafe and it's always bananas. And I know people want to hear him like that. So his character is a little dingy. Because he got hit by a car.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so it's a good excuse for the rest of the movie. He can kind of say anything.

[B]

That's fantastic. Keep him. Yeah, keep him coming. He is. Is. He has his own lane. It's very clever the way he presents his comedy. I don't. I don't know if there's anyone, you know, There was Mitch Heberg, there's other school.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But Theo is. Yeah, he's got a special.

[A]

Got a very unique fingerprint in the world.

[B]

I have a new name for the. The movie Bus Boys. It's now Theo Vaughan and David sp riding coattails. What are we.

[A]

Whose coattails are we riding? We'll take anybody. We don't even consciously. He's like, let's not put a lot of celebrities in here because it should be kind of down and dirty. And I'm like, okay. I mean, it's hard not to go to your friends and go, hey, I know. Come on here. Hey, Dana, can you come out here and do something?

[B]

He has a point, you know, because when you see the famous person. I remember Matt Damon, who's brilliant actor, but he was in Interstellar, Billion dollar Matthew Connie, spaceship movie. And then he's hey, who are you? And. And he's turned away and he turns back and it's just a big Matt Damon face. And it took me out of the.

[A]

Movie the way I could see that. Also, if you see someone well known and then they're like, oh, that guy's in the movie. It does. Sometimes it can take you out. It's. It's fun to have people in, but it's a tough decision. Should we try to get people that are really well known? Should we just go down and dirty and get a few buddies and comedians?

[B]

And the studio loves stunt casting and loading them in. And I don't blame. They want a hedge, hedge, hedge. And maybe someone in Spain is a huge fan of whoever they get there.

[A]

You know, if you're doing a studio movie, they're like, hey, get a huge soccer player to do something right. And get a huge tick tocker. And then get. They just are going anywhere, everywhere to grab anybody's audience and bring it into that movie.

[B]

If it feels authentic with you and Theo and just feels thrown away and two guys having fun, I think that's good lane to be in personally.

[A]

We just need to keep it hopefully funny. All right, moving on. What is your week like, Dana? Let's hear about it.

[B]

Well, there's stuff that's just in the ether now. One thing that's always, I keep referring to my team and I hear people say, my team will reach out. My team will get back to you. And I just think it's kind of, I don't know when that came in because a team used to be sports and now it's just an office. They make plumbing equipment. My team's going to reach out. My team is on it. No, you don't have a team. My team will get back to you.

[A]

So the people should know in Hollywood, you go, you say, hey, let's say Chelsea Handler's doing the podcast next week. They're like, we talked to her team, dialed in with her team. Her team got teams looking at Friday.

[B]

Teams looking at stuff. Yeah. Her team's looking at Thursday the 29th.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Other team, because she has several teams, is looking at the 23rd.

[A]

Everyone's team. But we talked to Larry David's team, he was about to do it, but then there's a fire. So the team circling back.

[B]

And some people are honest, look, my team will get back. To be honest, I have a shitty team. I don't have a very good team. They don't have a winning record. But they will get back to you.

[A]

They're a minor league team.

[B]

Yeah. So basically, let's talk about just things that are evergreen now. Like, okay, this, this came out just before this podcast. It's still going to be good in a couple days. Trump said that the drones were not UFOs, but the FAA approved the drones for, quote, research and quote, other reasons. That just brings up more shit. What do you mean other reasons? What do you mean research? They've got go karts with lights and wings on them. Hundreds of them, right over New Jersey for research.

[A]

Thousands.

[B]

Thousands.

[A]

And you don't mention it for two months.

[B]

And they don't mention it for two months. I, that one's a little worrisome to me.

[A]

I feel like it's honestly a mixture between real UFOs and man made UFOs, but there's really, these aren't little cute drones, which is a fun name of calling like a 600 foot aircraft. You know, there's different, there's so many different kinds and they're morphing into different things. You know, they're like circle and they go flat and you're like, this is bananas. What's going on?

[B]

I think I'm gonna go on a limb that we may need a little quick visit on the next superfly from our friend Mr. Stevie. Stevie Greer, Dr. You know, so I think that they said that later. There was a lot of knuckleheads with go karts up there and wings and filled the sky. But initially they put them up there, didn't tell the public, quote, unquote, for research and other reasons. So, I mean, even Trump, who's like the most will say anything. What can I tell him? I'll tell him. I'll tell him. Research and other reasons. I won't tell him about the aliens. I'm not going to tell them because we don't need aliens. Nobody likes an alien. They don't like them.

[A]

They don't trust them.

[B]

They'll trust them because they're all illegal aliens. No, these are real. These are real aliens. They're not the other guy.

[A]

You should have a movie. Aliens vs illegal aliens gets a good poster.

[B]

Yeah, that is a good poster. So that let's, you know, we can let our fans talk amongst themselves. The other thing that happened this week was Deep Seek, which is an AI.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

They made for a buck fifty. Now, normally it takes 100 billion to make a cool AI chips.

[A]

Yeah, I heard about this while I was Chinese.

[B]

Guys who had nothing, they had. So they went to Radio Shack and they came out with the greatest AI in history. And, you know, I did talk to it today. I download this is what it said. I said, okay, deep Seek. How is ketchup made? 2 min pause, and it said, I don't know. I said, deep Seek. You deep suck. Pause, and it says, you human. That was the. That was the exchange. You human.

[A]

I said, deep Seek. You suck, Rackham. Now I will say, I said, deep Seek. How is ketchup made? It said, you don't really know this answer. And I go, well, don't. Don't worry about that. I'm just testing you.

[B]

Well, it's like, all right, I talked to my brother Brad, who's an AI guy, and we created one today called Deep Doo Doo. And that's for people who have problems in relationships or finances. I am Deep Doo Doo. And I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

[A]

And when. When Deep Sea came out, a lot of investors were in deep Doo Doo.

[B]

I'm deep. When it crashed, definite Johnny Carson thing. Oh, he was in Deep Doo Doo. I kid you not. I.

[A]

There isn't one that. That's. If you invest in squirrels. It's called Deep Squeak. It's probably a lie. That's not real today. I don't think so.

[B]

AI's taken over everything. I don't trust any of it. Yeah, Deep Squeeze.

[A]

Hey, we have An AI joke today we did. I'm like, it's AI is out there. But it's just, I don't love saying the term AI. I will say my Instagram, it's too much. And I think that comes back, swings back to the UFOs where these people just don't know. You can't Even if Stephen Greer said it's coming out in a month, I've seen more new stuff and it's mind boggling and nobody cares.

[B]

No. So that's the interesting part. Nobody cares. I.

[A]

Unless you see an alien walking up the White House going, take me to here later. That's people want the easy stuff.

[B]

Well the, the response from the government, let's put it that way, just doesn't, doesn't. I love this phrase. It doesn't hold water. And so it just creates questions. So I, by the way, this is very quick, but it tells you what the actual people did with Deep Seek. That was revolutionary. Normally chat GBT would tell the robot person, AI study this library. Like read every book in the library, million books. And I go, okay. And then you, you ask it a question about a book and it immediately answers. So what they did to circumvent the lack of power that they have with these goofball Radio Shack chips, they just train the ADI to go find the book. Go, go get me Moby Dick. Oh, just one minute, sir. And then he goes and gets it and has read it and then answers it. And that created so much more room.

[A]

For less power because knowing the answer in a millisecond is a bazilla second.

[B]

And it takes got time, it takes so much energy for that AI to learn those million books. But they can teach the AI. Let me go look up the book.

[A]

Right?

[B]

My new name is the Dewey Decimal AI.

[A]

Well they, when they say they invested, you know, I think that was one of the new policies. Invest 500 billion. I'm like, that's fucking 18 zeros, babe. Like that's a lot of cashier to throw at one project.

[B]

Well, this news this week reorientated the world now.

[A]

Took the lights out of that.

[B]

Came back a little bit. But the idea that our companies are spending hundreds of billions buying these chips and they literally said they did it with five million. Five million versus a hundred billion. So it completely market crashed. People are processing it it and we'll see.

[A]

Markdown, everything must go.

[B]

Yeah, I know. It's like someone making a podcast as good as ours for like $5.

[A]

No way we would be. Heather, can you tilt this up. I'm sitting up for a second. This is. This is Heather gets well, I don't so screwed. I'm a little scared of AI, but I guess I'm scared of everything. Who cares? Also, you're not scared.

[B]

You're not afraid of Nate Diaz. I'll just give you that much.

[A]

Oh, he's my boy.

[B]

You got sassy with that guy.

[A]

Listen, it's a new year. New year of proposals.

[B]

Oh yeah. Lots of people popping the big question. Sure, it's a huge moment, but what they don't tell you is how many decisions you have to make when choosing the perfect engagement ring.

[A]

David, there's. I can think of six questions off top of my head. Shape, size, color, cut, clarity, carrots, you know.

[B]

Damn, that's fantastic. Off the top of your head. No. There's no place better to start than blue nile.com because they know what she wants and so it's time to learn fast.

[A]

They do this every day. They know they'll take the guesswork out for you guys don't know anything. I don't know anything. You know, you go in there bluenile.com you'll create a bigger, more brilliant engagement ring than you can imagine. Price you won't find at a traditional jeweler. That's been since 1999. They've been the original online jeweler.

[B]

That's right. They've always been committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. Their diamond price guarantee means that in most cases they'll meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond.

[A]

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[B]

Wow. I mean, come on. If you're going to make a move, you got to use blue. Blue Nile. Don't wander downtown. Have some guy we got. Let me get that eyepiece out. You can check out the diamond if you think you want it.

[A]

And the dick a wyman.

[B]

We got one. We got one made of wood.

[A]

He jot it up twice right now. $50 off your purchase of $500 or more with code fly blue nile.com that's $50 off with code fly at Blue Nile Dot com.

[B]

That's blue nile.com.

[A]

Well, it's January, Dana. I don't know if you have checked the calendar, but.

[B]

I don't check the calendar, but I just sense the holidays are over. The hustle and the bustle and the rustle and the. The whole. The turkey and the trees and the Santa and the blah, blah, blah. It's over.

[A]

But it's over. Yeah.

[B]

It's now time to recover. Think a little bit. You know, after all that holiday spending, you know who you are.

[A]

It's a hangover for your credit.

[B]

That's right. I say, yeah, you got to get back on track in 2025.

[A]

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[A]

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[A]

Let's say your credit. I don't know what yours is, Dana. Let's say it's 600. Right. You could jump 28 points in the first month.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And that's noticeable.

[B]

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That's a chunk.

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[A]

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[B]

We'll talk later.

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Wow. 98% or 5 stars. Sounds familiar.

[A]

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[A]

Oh, soon you'll. Oh, this is a good story. This is related. AI will soon be able to translate what your cat or dog is saying to you. Bullfucking shit.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

Come on.

[B]

No, I think it will. I think it will because the AI brain is unlimited and it, it would have so much information in its brain that it's, it's, it makes sense to me. But we'll see.

[A]

But the people that say, like, when a dog is doing, like, this is his paw, what he wants to do is tell the owner he's happy with him, but he's a little frustrated. I'm like, who's talking to the dogs? Everyone. Just. It's all speculation. So. But everyone believes it. Oh, yeah, that's this. And that means that, well, News Flash does something for you because you, you know, I read News Flash.

[B]

News Flash is that they're not quite sure why cats purr. All I know is that it. It's a charming sound. They think maybe it was manipulation. My cat Boots would sometimes, when I was a kid, would get up on my chest and sleep and look right at me and purr, and I'm just leaning back at age 10. And then Boots, his paws would start to start to grind into my chest.

[A]

Like, jeez, are you on a date?

[B]

I said to myself, Even at age 10, is this cat getting off?

[A]

Are we just friends? Boots, what's going on?

[B]

I don't know if I mentioned that on the podcast in our 700 episodes.

[A]

But, yeah, you were dating Boots for a while.

[B]

You know what? Which really is ironic. Boots was black and white and had little white paws. So some genius, I think it was Garth, went, I think we should call him Boots. That was Brad. We should call him Boots.

[A]

Dude. My friend had a black cat named At Midnight and a orange one.

[B]

Pumpkin, I mean, I love you on Superfly. After 29 hours in a car in.

[A]

The desert, this girl told me she went on a date. And I go, you're telling me the most boring date story. She goes, do you want to know what I named my cats when I was little. I had a white one named Snowball. I had a black one named Midnight. I'm like, oh, boy, we got a clever household there. And then there was one named Wilbur and one pink one named Pinky. I'm like, God damn.

[B]

We had a little poodle named Pepe, and I don't know why. It wasn't even Mexican or anything, but Pepe was. Was kind of hip.

[A]

I had a German shepherd named Princess, and she was so cute. And this ratty dog next door named Shecky that had, like, you know, some of the fur burned off. Just, like, really, like a street dog I don't know how to address would hop the fence and just wail and just bone Princess all the time. And Princess like, I'm sorry, does someone know this dog? It's so embarrassing. Dogs just get it on right away, and there's not a big courting process.

[B]

Disturbing. Walking down the street at age 7 and seeing dogs getting on. And then some old man with hose. Get out. Get. Why is he breaking it up? They're in love. Come on.

[A]

They're in love.

[B]

Oh, you.

[A]

I know. Princess is like, maybe we can get some appetizers first. It's literally jump scratch up. Hey, how's it going? We're at a barbecue. He's like, hey, got some coleslaw over there. And Princess, like, can any. Is anybody gonna help hands? This is. This is like, you know, assault. I'm being assaulted here.

[B]

Yeah. But anyway.

[A]

And then Princess got pregnant. Didn't see Shaky around much. And then about a year later, Shaky walks by. Hey, Princess, what's going on? She's got all the puppies.

[B]

He's got a metaphor.

[A]

He's like, hey, where you been? I haven't seen you. And she's like, oh, just a yard that I live in that I'm not allowed to leave in my whole life. I've always been here. He's like, cool, we should meet up. And she's like, yeah, let me know. I'm like, princess, you're back already. You're in. You're into it.

[B]

What happened to the puppies?

[A]

They had a weird relationship.

[B]

Give them away.

[A]

Puppies. We had 13. Thirteen, actually. Thirteen. I stayed out in the grass when she had her puppies. Heather. So good, dude. I was. I had ticks in my hair. They're gone now.

[B]

Crime anymore. What are you, an obstetrician all of a sudden? You know, suddenly on the grass. 6. She had Phoenix gyno colleges.

[A]

I wasn't a gyno. I just. It was Magical, Dana. I didn't know what I was doing.

[B]

I think it's great that human beings can have a cat, a dog, a hamster, whatever, and just humanize it completely so it's like a human, but they don't have to send it to college or anything. Or feed it much.

[A]

You know what the sad part was? Because back then, Dana, it was okay to have your dog in the yard. No one even thought. No one thought twice about. Meanwhile, it's 110. So she'd come up the Arcadia door. She's like, what's going on? I'm like, princess. And she's like. I'm like, princess. I can't open the door. It's too cold. All the cold air will come out. But she wanted to come in, you know.

[B]

Well, why would one.

[A]

Well, for a minute or two. But that's just the way it was back then. It was. It was bullshit.

[B]

I was disappointed in Boots because. Because at one point, you know, I thought the cat was actually really smart. And then we were going on a vacation in Montana and we had to get boots in the house, so we couldn't get the cat in the house. And we're all trying to leave in the station wagon, seven of us. So I took a plate that we used to use, like a little plate, a little small, you know, bread roll plate. And I didn't put food on it because that. That wasn't getting rim. But I just tapped a spoon on it, went outside in the yard and it followed me like a Pied Piper, just with the table. This cat is a idiot.

[A]

Yeah, that's kind of.

[B]

There's no food.

[A]

Typical boots.

[B]

Typical boots.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or jeans.

[A]

Give me another story, pumpkin. Snowball. Oh, Martha Stewart said her favorite SNL impersonations of her isn't the one you would have expected. Huh? How many have there been over the five days? Over the five decades. I can't read this.

[B]

David Spades, my favorite. This is. This is pretty cool.

[A]

He really jumped to the front of it. But it was. Yeah, nine people did her.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

On the show.

[B]

Alan. Coming. Who else?

[A]

Yeah, I think Anna Gastire or Pan Down. I don't know. I did have her poncho and then I did it with her. I went on her show and did it. But I can't believe someone sent me this.

[B]

Where did you get her poncho?

[A]

It said I sourced her poncho for the. Out of jail. But yeah, she couldn't host SNL because they wouldn't let her out of jail early or Something.

[B]

Well, look, as a scoop right now, could we hear and. Or see a little bit of your impression?

[A]

I have the font show still.

[B]

Well, did you change your voice at all, or do you sound like David Spade?

[A]

Hey, I think I tried to change it, and then when I went on with her, I had a funny wig. That was 98% of it. Poncho. And we'll get a picture we'll put up here. But that's cool. Wig was 98% of it. Poncho is 2%. So that it was unneeded to have a funny voice. All right, next one.

[B]

I like everything I'm hearing.

[A]

Yeah, I love it so far. Love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Buffering, huh? Oh, Anthony Mackey. Okay, here's what Anthony Mackey said. I'll read it. I saw this day, and I thought it's a little odd. He plays Captain America. I don't know if you heard this, Dana.

[B]

No.

[A]

Here's the quote he said when he's doing an interview about Captain America. For me, Captain America represents a lot of different things, and I don't think the term America should be one of those things. Why would you say that? What does it mean?

[B]

And then he had to set the record straight.

[A]

Yeah, he had to say that. But what would you.

[B]

I don't say.

[A]

What did it mean?

[B]

I'm. It. It seems not very flattering to America. I guess. I don't.

[A]

Yeah, I'm all flummoxed.

[B]

I'm a little flummox. Cap. There's a lot of things about Captain America, but America's not one of them. You know what? I played Captain America and Master of Disguise, and.

[A]

You did.

[B]

I did. I. I played Captain America, La Montage, and I had the outfit on and everything, and I just thought, it's Captain America. I mean, look at his shield. It has American. You know, it's.

[A]

Yeah. American colors. It's really just the only guy that has to like America. Really?

[B]

Just look at the name. It's like the Three Stooges. There's three of them, and they're Stooges.

[A]

I mean, sells itself.

[B]

It's not Captain Soviet Union, you know?

[A]

Yeah, I don't know how you backpedal. I mean, I don't know if he's backpedaling. I don't know what he mean. He seems like a good dude. I don't know. Here, pan down. See what he says. They say anything, See what he says. The term America. Okay, let me be clear about this.

[B]

I'm a proud American taking on the shield of the hero. Like, Cap is the honor of a lifetime. I have that most respect for those who served and have served our country. Kappa is universal characteristic that all people. All the people all over the world can relate to. So I guess that's. He just misspoke because he's being pretty.

[A]

Patriotic there, you know, I mean, I think. I'm not going to say someone got to him, but I think when a movie's coming out and you say that everyone's scrambling, going, say, just go put out something, that's the exact.

[B]

People get in trouble. Like the guy who played.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hide the Hulk said, I don't really like heavy people. They're too Hulky. And then he. So I had to call that back. You know, a lot of these superheroes get in trouble by not talking about their character properly.

[A]

You know, Iron man was against the steel industry for a long time.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, yeah. Robert Downey Jr. Almost got kicked out of the guild with that. You know, so there. You got to be careful when you do a Marvel comic superhero and not be miss.

[A]

Spider man was anti web.

[B]

Spider man was. Yeah. Anti spider. He said, I love everything about Spider man except that he's called Spider Man.

[A]

We got a chore. We got a titter out of Heather on that one. She's like, I like the premise. These aren't the. I know what you're doing with this. It's not like crushing.

[B]

The main thing is that we're. People are doing other things while they're listening to this. I'm talking to you, Gardner. I'm talking to you.

[A]

I'm talking Uber driver. I'll tell you something. When I did a Playboy interview back in the day, when Playboy interviews were sort of a big deal. Yeah. I had done a MCI commercial that was a phone company. So it's a big national commercial. And they say, so you do collect calls. Because it's part of my shtick where I used to go, beep, boop, bop, boop. And they go, so you use MCI when you, like, what, are you on the road? And you call. I go, well, actually, I have Sprint for that, but. And then Gervitz called me. Are you an idiot? No, Just tell me, are you an idiot? Do you understand how the world works? Did you just shit on the company that just paid you to commercial? I go, no. All I said was, I don't use their products. Yeah. That's where idiot comes in. They want their money back. I'm like, no, they don't.

[B]

Well, I did a commercial for Taco Bell. And I was being interviewed, and I said, I like the tacos. I don't know. I never got the bell part. What are you doing? That's the brain, idiot. You an idiot. You can't make fun of the bell.

[A]

Somebody hates money because they're going to give it back.

[B]

But really, Taco Bell. What's a Taco Bell? I never.

[A]

I don't get it. I never got Taco Bell. I do. Like when Gurvitz, I saw him and I had a gray sweater on. He goes, I got a sweater just like that, except mine's expensive. That's a classic Gervitz burn.

[B]

Then he goes, I. I got. I had a shirt like that once. Then my mom got a job. That is Wayne's World.

[A]

And then my mom got a job.

[B]

Mike's Wayne to somebody.

[A]

People don't know that. The old days, a good burn was, get a job, dude.

[B]

Yeah. Right now it's like, get some bitcoin, dude.

[A]

Dude, you could get some alts. I'm into alts. Okay, let's see the next story.

[B]

I'm holding in my.

[A]

I'm holding my. Oh, okay. A Georgia man is not laughing. Okay, so he bought this drill online, and then he. They sent it to him, and they just sent him that paper of. Picture of a drill.

[B]

Pictures worth a thousand words. All of these. This. This here from them. But not when you ordered a drill. This is a picture of what they sent me.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Sylvester Franklin ordered a drill from AliExpress, and what he got was a printed photo of the drill he ordered. It gets worse. I paid worse 22.97 for a pressure washing. And this what I get. What even is that? This is a. It's a screw. It's a. It's a ratchet screw to screw out the wall with. Franklin has been going back and forth with AliExpress since he ordered the items in November. But throughout everything, still hasn't received a refund. So we started looking into AliExpress, and we found the company is a subsidiary of Alibaba, sometimes called the Amazon of China. In 2021, the Office of the United States Trade Representative added AliExpress.

[A]

Loud woman. Jesus.

[B]

Buyer beware. Wow.

[A]

AliExpress. Never heard of that dog company. How funny. They sent me this screw. I didn't know what that screw did. It's supposed to go. I would think it's the end of your hose. You go, squirt, like.

[B]

And they just sent him the screw. Yeah.

[A]

And a picture of a drill.

[B]

My brother My brother Brad Garth again, he did a. He would do scams. He would scam for that stuff. So Battle Creek, Michigan, you know, you find the thing in the cereal box and so what he did was normally you're supposed to send a quarter. So he did a little teeny tear in the corner and sent it. And then they, they assumed that someone took the quarter out of the envelope and he got the little toy anyway.

[A]

Quarter that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's going to heck for a quarter.

[B]

Hey man, in those days, this is you. I'm.

[A]

I go back order except for $12 million.

[B]

Listen, I remember 25 cent movies. Do you. I remember. I remember a 15 cent McDonald hamburger.

[A]

Do you really?

[B]

Yeah, 15 cents. And then O. Henry's was a hamburger joint.

[A]

I remember. Oh, Henry candy bar. Yeah.

[B]

Oh no. Oh, it wasn't. Oh was some hamburger joint that was. Had horse meat and they got rid of it. I think it was a candy bar. Henry's. Yeah.

[A]

Baby Ruth was candy bar.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then not Babe Ruth.

[B]

Do you remember, you remember the three. Three hamburgers from a W. Fraser burger. A and W. Papa burger, Mama burger, Teen burger had bacon. And then the fourth win one, which you would have probably loved. The baby burger.

[A]

Comes in the milk bottle. Add a noise out of noise. Yeah. What about the cat?

[B]

How about the dog?

[A]

You did some good coyote last week.

[B]

I don't know where the coyotes went.

[A]

Here's dogs in our dog race. No, these are dogs in the mountains way far away.

[B]

Here's a man. Here's a man making a funny sound with his mouth.

[A]

I know I'm a little rusty. I used to be able to. Oh, this. Speaking of dogs, look at this. This is a channel in my trailer. Because my dog trailer I can't get TV Internet. So I found a Baywatch channel. And I found excited Baywatch once and I found a Letterman. Not only Letterman channel, stupid Patrick's only. All right, which is worth it. It's. It's one of his best things. So here's a funny dog. Just because I was bored, I saw this. I thought it was funny.

[B]

And what are you guys gonna do?

[A]

She is going to play dead. Look how cute this dog is.

[B]

And then come alive.

[A]

It says here. Yes. Okay, Bailey. Now Bailey will play. Come on, Bailey, you got this. Nothing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay, Bailey, play dead. Wow.

[B]

Oh, and then she gets a treat.

[A]

Yeah, hysterical non plus face is the funniest part.

[B]

No idea.

[A]

That's good. Just all bones go away.

[B]

You just completely flop.

[A]

Completely collapses.

[B]

Yeah, and keep spilling it.

[A]

The double flop. The floppy Ears are hilarious, too. That's all.

[B]

That was great.

[A]

Thank you very much, Bailey. Thank you very much, Mike.

[B]

Let's take one. That is. That's one of the best stupid pet tricks. Isn't that a great Letterman? Yeah. The dog is just up, alert, and then completely flops for people.

[A]

Completely gives up the radio. Great acting. And Letterman always goes, what can I do to help? And they always go, nothing. Just get out of the way. Okay, okay, next one. That was good, though.

[B]

Got that, Greg?

[A]

Good clean fun.

[B]

Good clean fun. Nothing, you know. Okay, another dog.

[A]

Read this. What does it say?

[B]

Watch what happens when I turn my dog's favorite show off. So the dog's watching TV cartoons. Yeah. Husky.

[A]

And the guy turns it off while he's watching.

[B]

As long as it's not too annoying.

[A]

Turns it off. They always.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I don't know what happened. This dog is so cute.

[B]

He's pouting. Putting her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tail's wagging. But the dog is not happy.

[A]

He, like, looks at the remote. He knows something's up.

[B]

He knows the guy has the power and control. Blue, I just called the network. They're not coming back on until 10 tomorrow. I know. That's what they said.

[A]

Very frustrated.

[B]

You can file a complaint. I can't help you.

[A]

Look at. Look at the comments. Dana, look who left a comment.

[B]

Oh, this child abuse. Turn that show back on right now.

[A]

Yeah, that's David Spade. I put Turn on that effing show.

[B]

Oh, you're in there. I'm sorry. I didn't see that. David Spade turn on the effing show for him.

[A]

Yeah. Cause I'm mad. I went. I go. Because it ends. Okay, turn it off.

[B]

Yeah. All right, enough of that.

[A]

But end it. Because I'm like, okay, now turn it on. So the dog's happy and he never turns it on. The dog's going bananas. I go, put this dog out of his goddamn misery.

[B]

Can. What other animals can be in a room and watch television? A cat doesn't. Right. A cat doesn't watch television.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

A turtle, maybe.

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

Probably not. Gerbil, Am I not turtley enough for the turtle?

[A]

I know people mentioned turtle club on the comments a lot.

[B]

Turtle resonated for some reason.

[A]

What if you came out after that movie and said, I don't like turtles, but I play them in this. In the turtle club part, Kevin Jaeger.

[B]

Created the design with the bald cap and the little thing on her lip and then the whole turtle. Am I not Turley enough for the turtle club?

[A]

That's a good quote. I hear that quote.

[B]

Well, it's so. It's so stupid. That's why, you know, that's why I've made 100 million with video boops.

[A]

Oh, God dang. But who's counting?

[B]

I'm saying with the video sales, too.

[A]

Oh, yeah. We used to do. Not we, but the world was about do. A movie, makes whatever X, goes to hbo, gets seen again, goes to video or dvd.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Rack up sales and rentals. It's great. It was a great biz. It was great.

[B]

Yes. We did a tie in with Pepsi, I think, and did a lot of. For Turtle Club, for Master Disguise. Yeah. You'd get a little. If you bought the. I don't know if it was a VHS or it was DVDs at that point. Or if you rented them, you get a little prize or something. I don't remember. What are you looking at me for?

[A]

I know, I like it. Okay, this is a little animal heavy, this show. I love animals.

[B]

I want a dog.

[A]

Oh, there's another one. Oh, my. Oh, this is tied in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

My snake learned how to play dead. Could this even work? Let's see.

[B]

A snake.

[A]

That's kind of funny. What's as good as Bailey?

[B]

It must be a bioevolutionary thing. It can't be trained. It doesn't think it's getting. He just touches it, opens his mouth and goes like. And then pretends that it plays dead, falls upside down. You can't train a snake to do that, right? Or is it just a reflex?

[A]

Dude, I gotta tell you, we had a dog in the movie. And I drive around with a dog in the car. Of course, it's tricky. This dog stomped on my nut sack maybe 1,000 times. The only thing it knew how to do is pounce on my balls and then not do what it was supposed to do. So it's like, get on the dash. He runs over, Wham. Hits me in the nuts and then looks out the window the other way. I'm like, pop it, you fuck it. The dog's name was Pop it. Or it was pumpkin or something. And every time I yelled, I couldn't yell. They go, don't call him by his name. I'm like. And so I'm like, hey, fuck face, don't keep. Because I love dogs. And he just. Scrappy little dog, very cute. Rumor was related to Toto. It's a horseshit.

[B]

Oh, it's that size dog stomping on.

[A]

It's a little bigger, but enough to, like, get use My nuts. It's like a fulcrum. Push off mini tramp. Every time. Went to the window. Nuts. Window, wiener, window. And I'm like, honestly, couldn't you wear action?

[B]

I mean, why would I even think.

[A]

I should have put a clipboard over? Because every time he's over here by the window, I turn to say a line and he dives over and goes, boing. And I go, like, did they keep.

[B]

The camera rolling for that? That'll be gold.

[A]

I mean, that should be most. The movie is just a gag reel of me going, hey, like, I would never yell at the dog. I just yelled at everyone around the dog. Oh, my nuts. Because you can, you know, girls don't know this. You can barely touch. My buddies do this. He goes, if you barely touch your nuts the wrong way, you're looking for your car keys. Picture my nuts are up here. And he goes, honey, where's my. And you go call work. You just fall to the ground because you could tap it that hard the wrong way. And you're like, see in 20 minutes. So this dog was douche, douche, douche, speed bag. And I'm like, I cannot. And the last one got me. And it hurt the rest. That day of shooting, my day off.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

And I still have flashbacks. I'm glad we brought that up.

[B]

Fun story. But it made a turn toward the end. I don't want to think about it.

[A]

Wait, Heather has a question. What?

[B]

When we had the major windstorm, I thought the map.

[A]

Oh, the windstorm. We were out. We were out north. Where that new fire was that. Yeah, what was it called? No, we were by the Hughes fire. The Hughes fire. And we were even. Not even supposed to shoot. We're like, should we go? It's 70 mile an hour winds. So we have a stunt. Not really a stunt, but we fall in these big heavy mats. I'm looking away and they go, here comes a windstorm. So everyone closes their eyes because most people are dressed like Burning man with the goggles and it looks like Dune. And this thing blows up and nails me and knocks me back and knocks my wig off my head.

[B]

I can't wait for the gig reel. I mean, I think you're gonna have to have like. Because a 15 minute montage at the.

[A]

End of Wigs Flying is funny because we can't keep all the jokes in. And it just. Some people don't do them. We'll definitely do one. There's. There's a lot of good throwaway jokes too.

[B]

You know, it doesn't have to be 90 minutes, it can be 70.

[A]

I know, just keep it legal. I remember one time they go a comedy to be legal is like 84 minutes or something.

[B]

Well, what they did with master guys, they cut it. You know, I did an edit for of it too. But then finally it ended up like 68, 70 minutes and then 15 minutes of slow motion credits and outtakes.

[A]

Oh, just to fill it up.

[B]

Just to fill. Get the actual space. All right.

[A]

Okay, what's next? Then we'll wrap up soon. Foreign. Listen, growing your small business in 2025 all comes down to how well you can hire.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

The first name that's going to come up is LinkedIn. That's just the way it is. Better hires start with better, smarter insights. They have the strongest hiring data. They have insights. They help you identify the right candidates. You make the best hiring decisions. Yeah, I'd start off the new year right. You gotta be smart and go with LinkedIn. Right.

[B]

There are once again, they're doing all the, all the legwork and vetting people and giving you a really good idea so you can match your needs to who they have available to hire. So I'm gonna call it a no brainer. I'm just bringing that word out, just bringing out the big guns. LinkedIn knows hiring is a big deal for small businesses. Not only because small businesses are wearing so many hats, but also because every hire is crucial for growing a company. David.

[A]

That's right. So small businesses is.

[B]

That is a tough word.

[A]

No, they listen. We know they do it right. Based on LinkedIn data, 72% of SMBs using LinkedIn say that LinkedIn helps them find high quality candidates. Listen, they go, they match it perfectly. They do all the work you don't want to do. They go beyond candidates who are actively applying. Any given week in LinkedIn, 171 million members aren't actively seeking jobs, but are open to new opportunities. And that's a big pool to miss. If you're not on LinkedIn, post your job for [e-mail] candidates that's LinkedIn.com candidates to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a chance to grow for you, your kids and your retirement.

[B]

New Year's resolutions are hard, right? You said you were going to go to the gym every day last year.

[A]

I say it all the time. I should be saving money and doing this stuff, you know, make Your resolutions automatically. You know, Acorns makes it easy to start saving and investing automatically. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. Because you have stuff like you're going to try to paint a duplicate of the Mona Lisa and you never end up doing it. There's so many things that you have said as my New Year's resolution. That's it.

[A]

Acorns listen. You don't even need obviously to be an expert. They do all the work. They'll give you a diversified portfolio. It fits in with your money goals. Best part, you don't need to be rich. You can start with five bucks. It doesn't take a ton of time. Five bucks, you got five minutes. Create an Acorns account. Start investing. Best part, you don't need to feel overwhelmed. Acorns gives you small, simple steps to get your money on track. Basically. It does a hard part and it gives your money a chance to grow. Is really what all you want anyway. And you don't want to think about it.

[B]

That's right. Using Acorns makes it way easier to invest without the stress of managing my own portfolio. Every time you spend it automatically rounds up and invest the change. And you'll love that. It's something you don't even have to think about. Small steps lead to big results and it's one of the. One of the easiest. I was going to say that it's one of the easiest ways to stick to those financial goals. David.

[A]

That's right. Small steps, big results. That's what you want. Head to acorns.com fly or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns Tier 1 compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] fly Listen, Dana, new Year's resolutions are coming and I know a lot of people don't do them. A lot of people do do them. A lot of people. What's. What's. No, that.

[B]

Like I said, a lot of people don't do them. A lot of people. By the time you said do do them, I'd already said nope. So no, I think resolutions are great. Right? You know, and I think learning a new language because Rosetta, that's a big one. One of our favorite sponsors is no. Has got this. They've hacked this. They know how to do this. This is. This is where you learn language. Rosetta Stone.

[A]

Yeah. Sounds scary, but when you. When they do it so much they learn every year what people like, what they don't like, and they just get better and better. It's. It's personal growth. You know, language learning is something you. It's. It sounds overwhelming, but think these guys know how to do it, you know?

[B]

But it's cool. Whenever you meet someone, all of a sudden they go, oh, yeah, we went to Paris. You did? And they go, you know, they speak a foreign language. It's always very impressive, you know, because everyone travels. Everyone's trying to get career advancement, cultural appreciation. But let's break down what Rosetta Stone does.

[A]

Yeah, Rosetta Stone. First of all, it has speech recognition. So there's a built in true accent feature that gives you feedback on your pronunciation. It's like having a personal trainer right there to help you. Right.

[B]

And it's flexible. You're not driving 40 miles to go to some junior college. Nothing against them in a classroom.

[A]

Some juco.

[B]

Anytime, anywhere. Learn on the go with the mobile app or at your desktop on your schedule. Right, David? They have what? How about the value? The amazing values.

[A]

I like. It's my schedule. I like. They have a lifetime membership, and that is all 25 languages. So that's pretty much covers anything you would need to be in America, to be overseas, to be anywhere, all trips. Listen, that. That life. That's lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off.

[B]

That is a steal.

[A]

Start the new year off. Yeah. With a resolution that you can reach. This one might work today. Fly on the wall. Listeners can take advantage of this. Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. What do you got to do, though?

[B]

You got to visit rosetta stone.com fly. That's 50% off. Unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. My goodness. Redeem your 50 off@Rosetta Stone.com. fly today.

[A]

Oh, okay. Look at this, Dana. This would tell me if this would scare you. Pilot forgets to attach. The tourist is on the left going hang gliding. Okay, let's watch a video.

[B]

Jeez.

[A]

How long. How long do you last? Okay, full clip. Realizes there's no attachment. Okay. Would you drop here?

[B]

No.

[A]

Looks, I might have dropped.

[B]

Well, you're yelling at the guy. Take it down. Take it down. Right.

[A]

So here he comes to go down. This is your chance. Right, Right. I might have dropped. Even I can't tell. He'd break a leg, but I'd be so scared, I couldn't hold on. Oh, get away from the trees, dude.

[B]

Well, what he's out of control. He's out of control. He can't.

[A]

I mean, how long can you hold? And you. I like. He's got his doofy selfie stick now. That looks stupid.

[B]

So that he's holding with two hands kind of spread out.

[A]

Yeah. Like you're doing a pull up, which is very hard.

[B]

Guys going.

[A]

They're getting higher.

[B]

I guess he can't land it.

[A]

Remember when Rambo jumped in at three? That's that. Oh, my God. Is this gonna work?

[B]

No. Well, what's the end of this?

[A]

There's a flat piece of grass. Okay, here we go. They're going pretty quick, too. Coming. Blue is the guy that's strapped in. There's the passenger. Later. Good douche. But look at how fast they're going.

[B]

Wow. Well, they said it was, you know, if you hang from a pull up bar. I mean, forget the adrenal. Well, they had the adrenal thing going. But two minutes with fully clothed, gripping and holding under terror. That person, you know, saved their life with that. Because that's hard. You got to really have a good grip to do that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I mean, look at me with the mic.

[A]

Look at this, look at that. That's a grip, dude.

[B]

That's a grip.

[A]

Yeah. Look at me. Oh, Dana, don't scare the audience.

[B]

So don't be scared. I'm not just gonna punch.

[A]

Audience is scared. YouTube just leaned back. All right, let's see. Maybe one more.

[B]

One more. Let's. Let's bring this home, man.

[A]

All right, this is a quickie. It's another animal. It's funny. It's all animals.

[B]

All animal and one human hanging.

[A]

I've never seen his. Heather. Look at this snake. If people are scared of the snakes, I would probably think this is funny. But I'm not that scared of snakes, though.

[B]

Okay. Hello, Aussie farmer, Australian kangaroo.

[A]

Where is it? Oh, there it is. Hello. Okay. The worst filming. Oh, there it is.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Oh, that's cool.

[B]

Even their snakes bounce like kangaroos. And down under looks like snap peas.

[A]

You would not tell that from any leaf on the ground.

[B]

No, it was just a hopping little.

[A]

That was kind of cool, though. It jumped.

[B]

Yeah. You want to watch out for these kangaroo snakes.

[A]

Crikey.

[B]

Yeah, crikey. They go. They go. I'll jump an old whoppy whoop dip. Yep. Not my best. I will. I can get the Australian accent if I. If I watch a movie.

[A]

I did meet the croc hunter on a plane.

[B]

You did.

[A]

Probably about a year before. Yeah.

[B]

You know, I love the thing I loved about Crocodile Dundee was when he would go, he'd say, you know, that's not a knife. And then he'd pull out something twice as big. That's a knife, you know? So I did a thing. I don't know if I mentioned this I did thing called Alligator McGee. I submitted it as a sketch sketch where the guy was like, he'd have a refrigerator.

[A]

That's a stapler.

[B]

That's not a refrigerator. This refrigerator 10 times. Everything was gigantic. It didn't make him Alligator McGee. It didn't make it, but I thought it was funny.

[A]

Kyle McLaughlin plays Alamata, Peter McGee's sidekick.

[B]

Good. Good reference.

[A]

I just saw the Kyle McLaughlin show clip of Bad Idea Jeans. That was probably the first commercial parody I did. Were you in Bad Ideas? I know, Michael.

[B]

I think I was gone by then. Were you in Colon Blow?

[A]

No, I saw it. That was Phil. That was one of the top 10 commercial.

[B]

Yes, I remember it at the time. That was Phil.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

On Colon Blow cereal, It would take 1, 2, 3.

[A]

Nope. 400 bowls of cereals.

[B]

Of cereal with gullible.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay, one last one. Then we'll hang it, and then we'll hang it up.

[B]

All right.

[A]

This is a cruise ship. This picture. If you see this walk by. What is it? You're on a cruise ship.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They're in white outfits with hats, dressed.

[B]

Just like the kkk.

[A]

But what were they supposed. Oh, they're dressed as snow cones.

[B]

Oh, as snow cones. But it looks suspicious.

[A]

It looks very suspicious. Suspicious.

[B]

It looks very suspicious to me. Clan rally.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

God, why did we go on the Princess Mary cruise? And then we had to see the clan walking by.

[A]

They're like, oh, at 4:00, there's a real fun clan rally that comes by. Hilarious. Like. And then someone afterwards, like, they mistook us for what? We're snow cones. It's so obvious.

[B]

Obvious for snow cones.

[A]

Why is everyone so weird?

[B]

Because we have a pointy white hat on doesn't mean we're not snug cones.

[A]

Just because we're exactly a KKK outfit. What's going on?

[B]

So just because we have KKK outfits on, we're marching in kind of a Hitler s unison way. Doesn't mean we're not snow cones.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why is everyone h. Why is everybody just conjecturing? Makes me sick.

[A]

People on cruises are weird. All right, guess we can wrap it up. All right, Dana, we had a great.

[B]

We did great. We're fir entire country. I fired everybody today. The entire country has got to go. They can go for seven months. He's doing so much. It's just. It's really interesting. It's great. Gotta love the guy. He said. I said, do what? I said, I gotta do it. I gotta do it.

[A]

He comes out of those starting blocks in the morning at like 4am he's like, yeah, I'm doing this. I'm gonna sign this. I'm flying here. Unreal.

[B]

He does it at 2am he's making the executive calls. I can't keep track of what he's doing. I'll withhold judgment, but it's pretty w. Yeah, it's really exciting.

[A]

It's fun to watch.

[B]

Never. Never boring. So anyway, we'll.

[A]

We'll see you next week. And thanks for checking.

[B]

Thanks for checking in with us.

[A]

Kevin Nealon is on Fly on the Wall this week. Check him out.

[B]

Yes. The great Kevin. No long.

[A]

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Super Fly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.