SUPERFLY #54 - Cartoon HOTNESS

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade Episode Summary: SUPERFLY #54 - Cartoon HOTNESS Release Date: February 7, 2025

In this engaging episode of "Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade," the longtime comedic duo delve into a variety of entertaining topics, blending personal anecdotes, pop culture references, and sharp humor. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing the essence of their conversations, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for reference.

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1. Travel Tales: Airbnb vs. Hotels

Dana and David kick off their discussion with a debate on travel accommodations, contrasting the traditional hotel stays with the growing popularity of Airbnb.

• Airbnb Advantages: Dana shares her positive experiences with Airbnb, highlighting the personalized touches like a spotless environment, a bottle of wine with a note, and the availability of a kitchen. She emphasizes the "space, privacy, better locations compared to hotels" (02:01).

  Dana Carvey [02:01]: "The benefits of Airbnb is that space, privacy, better locations compared to hotels. You get to pick how close you want to be to wherever you want to go."

• David's Road Mishap: David recounts a frustrating experience of trying to catch a flight that was repeatedly delayed, leading him and his companions to opt for driving. This resulted in a lengthy and uncomfortable journey.

  David Spade [02:16]: "We were just like. And then we didn't know what to do. So I said, let's just drive. It was a fun casino gig up at Table Mountain, but it was actually great up there. But then I'm like, where are we? Four and a half hours. Yuck."

2. Ant Invasion: A Humorous Take

The conversation shifts to an amusing yet relatable household issue—ants invading the house. Dana and David humorously dissect the ants' behavior, anthropomorphizing them with traits and motives.

• Ant Strategy: Dana explains a DIY method to eradicate ants by using poisoned cotton balls to target the colony's queen.

  Dana Carvey [13:44]: "So the soldier ants eat the cotton candy. And then they go back and they give it. They go, here, queen. The queen eats the cotton candy. Poison. She dies. The whole colony is destroyed."

• David's Observation: David describes the relentless persistence of ants searching for water, leading to their eventual demise due to overcrowding.

  David Spade [14:00]: "...they get in there and there's also a little caffeine in the coffee. So they're like. It's not like they're busy bees enough, but they. They're everywhere. All over my house."

3. Current Events: Blue Fabric Roofs and Missing Funds

Dana and David delve into contemporary issues, discussing the peculiar use of blue fabrics on roofs and the controversy surrounding missing funds intended for Ukraine.

• Blue Fabric Roofs: They speculate humorously about the purpose of blue fabrics, linking them to fire resistance during the Maui fires.

  Dana Carvey [24:32]: "Maybe it's fire resistant fabric. There you go. It just happened."

• Missing Ukraine Funds: The hosts touch upon the confusion and mismanagement of funds sent to Ukraine, highlighting governmental incompetence.

  David Spade [10:03]: "She does not know where the hundred billion is. This is California level of incompetence up."

4. Sports Frustrations: NFL Referees and Super Bowl Bets

The duo express their frustrations with the NFL's officiating, particularly concerning biased calls favoring certain teams like the Kansas City Chiefs.

• Referee Bias: Dana criticizes the consistency of certain penalties, suggesting a systemic issue within the league.

  Dana Carvey [39:36]: "There's just some method to that madness of. What? What's going on?"

• Super Bowl Betting: Concluding their sports segment, Dana and David place playful bets on Super Bowl scores, adding a competitive edge to their camaraderie.

  David Spade [64:47]: "I'm going to put a couple of bucks on it. Don't worry about it."

5. Nostalgia Ride: Cartoons and Classic Shows

Nostalgic elements permeate the episode as Dana and David reminisce about beloved cartoons like "Charlie Brown" and "Snoopy," exploring their characters and cultural impact.

• Character Insights: They discuss the personalities of characters such as Peppermint Patty and Snoopy, infusing humor into their observations.

  Dana Carvey [31:07]: "I like Al's the smart one. I. I thought. And Charlie Brown. I'll tell you one thing about that. I did like a reason. I did love it."

• Wayne's World Anecdote: Highlighting movie licensing challenges, David shares an interesting tidbit about "Wayne's World" and the infamous "Stairway to Heaven" notes issue.

  David Spade [53:55]: "This guy's a keeper. For all the ladies that are single out there, if you want. This guy's got a lot of free time, man."

6. Technology and Modern Trends: Podcasts Everywhere

The conversation veers into the ubiquitous nature of podcasts, pondering a hypothetical future where everyone hosts their own shows.

• Time Travel Podcasting: Dana humorously envisions a scenario where time travel reveals that everyone around the world has a podcast, reflecting on the media saturation.

  Dana Carvey [59:51]: "You go into a time machine accident dentally, like Bill and Ted for a minute. And everyone you talk to on planet Earth has a podcast like, what do we want?"

7. Humor and Jokes: Antics and Skits

Throughout the episode, Dana and David intersperse their discussions with original jokes and light-hearted banter, keeping the atmosphere lively and entertaining.

• Engagement Ring Humor: Dana teases David about choosing the perfect engagement ring, leading to exaggerated and playful advertising-style pitches.

  David Spade [42:14]: "And then you go to New Blue Nile dot com. That's where you learn dot com."

• Wayne's World Finale: They conclude the cartoon segment with a clever take on movie production woes, tying back to their nostalgic discussions.

  Dana Carvey [54:49]: "But I get what the guy's saying. Hey, that. No Stairway. But he didn't have the beginning notes right."

8. Closing Remarks and Future Teasers

As the episode winds down, Dana and David engage in friendly wagers regarding the upcoming Super Bowl, adding anticipation for future episodes.

• Super Bowl Bets: They place humorous bets on the scores, demonstrating their playful rivalry.

  Dana Carvey [64:47]: "They're right next to each other's Camp Arena. No, but it was definitely like $800. And I said, fuck it. We're not going to be in Disneyland again."

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Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey [02:01]: "The benefits of Airbnb is that space, privacy, better locations compared to hotels. You get to pick how close you want to be to wherever you want to go."

• David Spade [07:51]: "But like, even Shaq said, which I didn't agree with Shaq, Jimmy Butler has a deal with the Heat. He doesn't want to play anymore."

• Dana Carvey [24:32]: "Maybe it's fire resistant fabric. There you go. It just happened."

• David Spade [53:55]: "This guy's a keeper. For all the ladies that are single out there, if you want. This guy's got a lot of free time, man."

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Conclusion: In "SUPERFLY #54 - Cartoon HOTNESS," Dana Carvey and David Spade deliver a multifaceted episode filled with humor, personal stories, and insightful commentary on current events and pop culture. Their seamless interaction and comedic timing make the episode a delightful listen, whether you're a longtime fan or new to their entertaining banter.

Transcript

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

All tax forms, all 100% free. Now this is taxes. See if you qualify in the TurboTax app. Excludes TurboTax Live. Must start and file an app by 2. 18. You know, when I'm on the road, Dana, I'm always. I'm always pretty much staying in hotels, but there's been a shift to Airbnb and you hear about it all the time.

[Dana Carvey]

Hotels are fine. There can be great. But Airbnb is a great alternative, you know, because you get a lot of choices of where you can stay. Oh, yeah, very practical.

[David Spade]

I mean, hotel can be like, oh, like when I go on the road, I go, that one's the closest hotel is a half hour from the gig or something. But you say, oh, Airbnb. Just go, oh, I want to go a little closer. I want to be in this area. I want a swimming pool and I want this.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And I famously have said many times, a place we used to go, my wife and I, to get away, and we stayed at some really nice hotels. But then we found this Airbnb, which we used, I think three times. It was always spotless. The keys are outside in a little padlock. And they used to have a bottle of wine and a note. And you have a kitchen. And it was very, very nice. The benefits of airbnb is that space, privacy, better locations compared to hotels. You get to pick how close you want to be to wherever you want to go.

[David Spade]

You're traveling with family, your friends, you're on your own. It's. It's great. What's up, Chewy? Chewbacca?

[Dana Carvey]

Somebody had a gig. I love that. You were, like, driving to the airport and just said, keep going.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I tried to drive the airport and we couldn't. They. They bumped the flight back an hour Then we waited and they bumped it another hour. Then they bumped it six hours.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, oh. Then it was a what they call a no brainer. I didn't know it was going to be a six hours at the airport.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it was going to be like it would. No, we were on the way. So we're just like. And then we didn't know what to do. So I said, let's just drive. It was a fun casino gig up at Table Mountain, but it was actually great up there. But then I'm like, where are we? Four and a half hours. Yuck. So we, you know, roughed it to spade, man. Toughest out there.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. It's unbelievable how you can ride back of those giant SUVs and just take the punishment.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I took it. Bobby and Catherine and like three kids just fighting and deciding when to stop and do everything.

[Dana Carvey]

Catherine opens as well or what.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Catherine Blandford, she does some time. Bobby Miyamoto does some time and then I do some time.

[Dana Carvey]

Jeez. Yeah, it's like waiting for Beyonce. Oops.

[David Spade]

Hold on two seconds. Take this part out. We're back.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know why we have to take that out.

[David Spade]

No. It's so grody. But I will say that was a cute. We drove by Magic Mountain. As I've always said. I've been there three times. Definitely more mountain than magic. I'll stand.

[Dana Carvey]

That's a pretty, pretty good joke. I. I'm not bad and that, that's.

[David Spade]

Not bad, is it?

[Dana Carvey]

I went there once. They put me in a room. I was with my sister in law. She's like 10. They put you in this round room and they start spinning you around and then the floor drops out.

[David Spade]

Oh, that's the roundup.

[Dana Carvey]

So I was vomitus. I was nauseous for hours after that, you know.

[David Spade]

Oh, these, these rides like a car crash. They're like you drive 80 miles an hour into a pole and then you're like.

[Dana Carvey]

And then some guy beats the out of you.

[David Spade]

Everyone throws up. And I'm like, people are calling lawyers. I'm like, is this a ride? This.

[Dana Carvey]

Am I supposed to be having fun for $299?

[David Spade]

Yeah. And then you get a guy and they say it's like four, four hundred bucks. Like at Disneyland, if you want a. A guide to basically do literally nothing. And so I said, yeah, for sure. I wish they would just fan me because it was 107 when I went last time. Hottest day of the year. So I get this guy and they go, oh, it's four. $400 per person. Get. Are you joking? I'm like this.

[Dana Carvey]

Pulled out cash. Nice side of. Nice sound effect. I went spontaneously to Disneyland with Paula about six months ago. Just. Oh, let's go now. Saturday, 11, 8. No, let's just drive there. It. Let's just go. So they go, well, Disneyland is full. We're not taking anyone else. It was sold out.

[David Spade]

Weird.

[Dana Carvey]

But if you buy a ticket to California Adventure, we'll let you buy a ticket to Disneyland. So that was $2,700 scamboree.

[David Spade]

Why? Because they're like, right next to each other.

[Dana Carvey]

They're right next to each other's Camp Arena. No, but it was definitely like $800. And I said, fuck it. We're not going to be in Disneyland again. So. And then we just had people all around us. We could barely move for like six hours.

[David Spade]

You didn't. Oh, people are saying hi to you?

[Dana Carvey]

No, no, Just human beings. I've had the baseball cap. Nobody recognized me. Like. Like, look at this. I have the sunglasses. Like, who's this? What's up?

[David Spade]

Just this.

[Dana Carvey]

Just that. That's all they see you. It's like a mob. They should have a variety. After you. Welcome to David Spade's Circus Carnival.

[David Spade]

Dude. Last night, the casino, they have all these like, police swap people. They come into your room and get you and bring you through the kitchen. We go to this great little restaurant. And then they take me back and then we're. They take you out and I have to go like a hundred feet of casino to get to the back elevator. And it's all people from the shows. You just. You walk smack down.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. Hey, are you. I know. They. They. When I checked in, they. They said, we can give you coupons. When the last time I played a big casino up. Up in Northern California. And then they basically. I didn't get them. And they were chasing me down throughout the whole weekend. I just be in the casino. Hey, we got the. We got the coupons. You can get a quarter off, half off, you know.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I go into. I go into that 6% off breakfast buffet and eat with everybody.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm gna. Just say it. You're a man of the people. Go ahead.

[David Spade]

A couple things before we get started that.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Before we start our.

[David Spade]

I know that. I know that you're going to like this thing about Luca coming to the Lakers.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm. I'm a little perplexed. I'm a little wondering what is going on. I didn't see that coming.

[David Spade]

What's Your mine is, why on God's green earth are they giving Luca away for Anthony Davis? I mean, unless they know something about Luca, we don't. Luka's so great. And I'm always mad because the Phoenix Suns could have had him with their first round pick a couple years ago. And they took Ayton, and Ayton was not a bus, but he was okay. And Luca was like, unreal.

[Dana Carvey]

When you're rooting for the team that has Luke against the Dallas Mavericks, just because your team, the warriors, are playing them, he's. He breaks your heart because it's just too much power, too many weapons with too little effort. So either he's got a stress factor. Anthony Davis healthy, but it's 31 versus 25 as far as age. So it's perplexing.

[David Spade]

And he said, you know, a lot of these players, I hate to say, you know, we'll say what my opinions are. People say, don't talk about sports, you guys, and don't talk about politics. I'm like, well, what's left?

[Dana Carvey]

All we can do and Talk is Baldini vs Lively. This court is in session.

[David Spade]

But like, even Shaq said, which I didn't agree with Shaq, Jimmy Butler has a deal with the Heat. He doesn't want to play anymore. So these guys lay down, they go, trade me. I'm not playing anymore. I'm just going to say I'm sick or whatever, and they're like, but you're making $50 million to play a year to play your best. Nah, they run the show. NBA. They really run the show.

[Dana Carvey]

You mean the players or the actual players?

[David Spade]

Yeah, the players do. And I don't. I don't think it's. I just think, do your deal. And then when it's over, yeah, go do whatever you want, get whatever you can. But to. To sort of take a dive, I don't know. And a lot of them are sitting out and where's Zion? Does he play a lot? Is. I just don't know. I don't know enough. I just know enough to make people mad.

[Dana Carvey]

Is a human freak. For people don't know. What is he, 6, 7, 6, 8, 2, 70. And can touch the top of the backboard. Like, he can take almost £300 and he's not that tall and touch the top. I mean, his vertical is insane. His skills, but tends to that big body going up and down. He gets a lot of injuries. The one thing I would like to do is talk to Jimmy Butler because on the surface it seems like what you're getting 50 million is kind of disrespectful. It's Pat Riley, it's the heat, the organization. But I'd like to know his point of view because it does seem, you.

[David Spade]

Know, okay, what about Zielinski? What do you do today? Because we're taping this before Friday, so all these stories are old.

[Dana Carvey]

Zelensky say he's trending now again.

[David Spade]

Yeah, he's retending because he says, well, Greg could probably find it. But he says he got money from us, but he only got, I think, 58% of what we promised. So he doesn't know where the other a hundred billion. Oh, no, another missing billions. I don't know. Billions are too much to keep an eye on. That's my humble opinion. Used to be millions. Hard enough. A billion. A billion here. Who knows if it's going.

[Dana Carvey]

I think. And this was under the radar, but Biden sent Gavin Newsom with a big fat check and make sure it, make sure it gets in Zelinsky's hands. Does not know where the hundred billion is. This is California level of incompetence up.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I mean, look at this. So California was famous because they lost 20 million in homeless money. They didn't lose. They just don't know where.

[Dana Carvey]

They don't know where it went. And it was to solve homeless and we got more homeless and we don't know where the 20 billion is. I'm not making that up.

[David Spade]

It makes you not want to pay taxes because you just do. Fix a road, do something. I see. Don't just make everything worse. More money and everything gets worse. So this is. I don't know how the Ukraine sitch worked, but it was shoveling out so much. I don't know. Unless he has, you know, maybe Zelensky has two accounts and he forgot and put in the other one. I don't know. That happens to me. Maybe they sent it by Zell or maybe they sent. What's the one that people always ask, oh, Venmo. The.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. I, you know, where's the money? Where does it go? I. It's like Doge is working on it, you know? Yeah, do mega.

[David Spade]

Do mega, do. He goes like this, hey, Biden, where's that other missing 100 billion? Do you have Venmo? And he's like, yeah. And then he gets it. He goes, okay, I got it. He goes, oh, also when we had dinner the other day, because sometimes people do that. You go, oh, we had dinner and you had a steak. And lobster. So you owe me money from dinner. So they send you money. You know what I mean? Oh, I ate one of your pickles.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, Venmo's cool. We should get them as a sponsor.

[David Spade]

I owe you a nickel.

[Dana Carvey]

Does it make the sound or does the person make the sound?

[David Spade]

I mean, it has to make something. It's funnier if it makes a noise because they send back and forth. The problem with those things is I think Heather will attest this. If you don't fix the setting, it says what you spend it on, Right. And who you're paying. You can be private, but if you're not, it's like you bought whatever, right? It's. Who wants that?

[Dana Carvey]

I do.

[David Spade]

$20 for drugs you bought off me. Right. We can see anybody in your contacts. Yeah, we'd see Dennis Miller, we'd see Kevin Neal and what he's getting, what pickles he's buy.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, there's no privacy to it. Yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

See?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, young people don't use cash. David, a news flash. I know you're. You've always got a lot of cash with you, but young people, they. They'll just do Venmo or whatever. Square or whatever. How payments they square. Square abacus.

[David Spade]

All right.

[Dana Carvey]

That was our Zelensky story.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I'm not even going to tell you about the ants that invaded my house because you couldn't even get your head around it. How complicated it is.

[Dana Carvey]

We've had invasions here.

[David Spade]

Ants seem cool. They seem cool. They're pretty much what I've learned is they're just always there. They decide when they're going to terrorize you because they do like water. Did you know that? They like water?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, guess what? What you do is you get a cotton ball and you put something in it and then you put it around and some poison in the cotton ball. So the soldier ants, they. They're all about the queen. They're all about the queen.

[David Spade]

Everything.

[Dana Carvey]

The soldier ants eat the. Eat the cotton candy. And then they go back and they give it. They go, here, queen. The queen eats the cotton candy. Poison. She dies. The whole colony is destroyed. So I don't know if you got ear there with a big thing, a raid like Woody Allen and Annie Hall.

[David Spade]

This isn't rookie amateur hour.

[Dana Carvey]

We.

[David Spade]

Heather has some organic stuff she sprays down. But I'd say when I went to bed, there's like 30, but I didn't deal with it. I go, 30, I'll wake up, maybe they'll dissipate. Woke up 5,000, but they're on the wall, too. So what I figured out me is there these thick streams. It was behind the coffee machine. They weren't behind it. Dana. There's this much water in the coffee machine. So one of those scouter ants goes back and says, guys, I think I found a lot of water. And not just water. No, it's just water. But that's good. It's water. That's all we want. And I think we should bring everybody, literally everybody, and check it out. And all the ants go. And then the one ant, the little scout ants there with his dad going, I did good, dad, didn't I? And he's like, you did. You found us all water. And then they get there, and the next day they're all floating in the water because they croaked. There was too much water.

[Dana Carvey]

And, you know, some of the, you know, the soldier ants aren't the brightest ants.

[David Spade]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

The dumb answer in the front line. And they're like, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, swear to God, there was a cup of hot coffee over here 20 minutes ago that's really awesome. Have a Brooklyn accent. They're in.

[David Spade]

Yeah. They're like this. Why? What are we doing?

[Dana Carvey]

Hey, what do you want from me? I told you there was water here. What do you think I am, a magician or some like that? I'm a ant. I only got eight seconds to live. Give a brother a break.

[David Spade]

They only live 22 seconds. So they get in there and there's also a little caffeine in the coffee. So they're like. It's not like they're busy bees enough, but they're. They're everywhere. All over my house. They don't even know why they're walking. They're just, like, gacked out on caffeine.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I'm still talking like, this is an ant. Woody Allen star in a movie. I'm bringing him up again.

[David Spade]

Ants. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Cartoon. Yeah. No one saw. And they're like, good night.

[David Spade]

And the worker ants are like, agua fria.

[Dana Carvey]

And the ants from Mexico are like.

[David Spade]

All right, let's get to. That's not important. Even though it sort of was. Let's get to the stories.

[Dana Carvey]

I wish you the best. I wish you the best.

[David Spade]

Thank you. Foreign and now a word from our sponsors. A betterment. When investing your money starts to feel like a second job, Betterment steps in with a little work life balance. They're an automated investing and savings app, which means they do the work while they build, manage your portfolio. You build and Manage your weekend plans. While they make it easy to invest for what matters, you get to enjoy what matters.

[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

Ethos Life Insurance. Life insurance? Yeah. Ethos Life insurance.

[David Spade]

Yeah. It can protect your family. Those you care about. Keeping up with mortgages, tuition bills, like the list goes on. You don't even know what would happen if you didn't have someone around. And there's so many things you need to take care of.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. It's a very nice thing to do for your loved ones. And by the way, David, if you've applied for life insurance before, you know, it can be. It can be a pain. And like a lot of usually is, Ethos has made securing life insurance policies up to $3 million smooth and fast as possible. So come on.

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

Wow.

[David Spade]

Get your free [e-mail] fly.

[Dana Carvey]

That's E T H O S.com/fly. Yes. That was pretty cool.

[David Spade]

My dad would have said to me, davey, you drove four hours. You gonna make it? Are you okay? Rough life in an Escalade. You okay? He never would give it to me. That something was hard. Hey, lay down, Mother.

[Dana Carvey]

I thought it was Tom Segura said that too.

[David Spade]

That's my daddy. Here's something I've thought about getting you for your Birthday.

[Dana Carvey]

Awesome. Come on.

[David Spade]

It's an omnidirectional ball bike.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. It's balls that you ride. Inventor James Bruton has created innovative omnidirectional ball wheeled bike that appears to.

[David Spade]

What you'll need it for. No one knows.

[Dana Carvey]

He built the bike using rigid hollow walking globes, which circus performers typically use.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Two yoga balls drive brushless motor.

[David Spade]

Brushless driving the wheels ensuring stable. And I can go sideways.

[Dana Carvey]

Much like a hoverboard. Yeah. It's not. After extensive trial, Bruton developed a vehicle.

[David Spade]

You like it or you don't like it.

[Dana Carvey]

During sideways.

[David Spade]

You could use it out of the farm.

[Dana Carvey]

The creation has drawn praise ingenuity. With one commenter highlighting its simplicity.

[David Spade]

This video hasn't gone praise for how long. It is additional industry.

[Dana Carvey]

You got it in 10 seconds. He's got balls instead of wheels. He can go left, right, up, down. He's like an ice skater.

[David Spade]

He's like as me.

[Dana Carvey]

Now give me a million dollars. Yeah. Boring. That's my review.

[David Spade]

Boring.

[Dana Carvey]

Boring. It's.

[David Spade]

You could go out to the chicken sideways coyote.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. Ow. Okay. How about a bird?

[David Spade]

Oh.

[Dana Carvey]

This is season two is coming out. Believe it or not. This content is not going away.

[David Spade]

Believe it or not. This is not written. We just make this up. That's how good it is. Okay, so we got the squirrely bike. What's next? That was funny. That was fun to watch. That was funny.

[Dana Carvey]

Cool. That was okay.

[David Spade]

What did she say? Hold on. Got my braces off. Oh, I'll tell. Tell me. You can tell what's different? Okay, she got her braces.

[Dana Carvey]

Braces off.

[David Spade]

Now she can do this. He's escaping. The killer is escaping. Can you watch her too? Watches her front tooth. Can you see it?

[Dana Carvey]

I saw it. So there you go. The teeth were just sort of separating.

[David Spade]

Yeah, they're. To the. To the talking. It's. It's a good trick.

[Dana Carvey]

But wasn't it just done in optical effects?

[David Spade]

I don't think so.

[Dana Carvey]

She can move her teeth. She has a gap and she can close it and open it because of the braces.

[David Spade]

I thought she was doing with her tongue. With her teeth are loose now or something.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, and it was an optical illusion.

[David Spade]

I don't know. That's a good. You know, it's frightened and confused me. Other than that, bidens and confuses me.

[Dana Carvey]

I. I hope unfrozen caveman.

[David Spade]

I was thinking at this. At the 50th, you know, that's such a good sketch. But we can't do it. Obviously. But I hope it's up there when they vote for sketches someday and say, what's a good one? That's a great one.

[Dana Carvey]

I see it a lot. You know, maybe our next Superfly. Let's do our top 10 favorite sketches.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a good idea. Let's do it.

[Dana Carvey]

Right. But we. Nothing that we could be in.

[David Spade]

Right.

[Dana Carvey]

Because that wouldn't be fair.

[David Spade]

Chances out nine of mine, but. Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

So bye bye. Ain't gonna make.

[David Spade]

Wait, wait, wait a second. I was only barely.

[Dana Carvey]

Girls ain't. No.

[David Spade]

I only had a couple lines.

[Dana Carvey]

That would be my. Both are my top 10. But not with the thing we're doing. We are taking our conflict of interest.

[David Spade]

Okay, we'll do it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Okay. One more. Let's. I mean, not one more. Let's see what's next.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, 50 more. All right. Chinese residents have started covering their houses with blue fabrics.

[David Spade]

Oh, I saw a blue roof today driving home on my four and a half hour drive. This is because they think that a direct energy weapon will not burn blue. I have a question. Yes, go ahead. Heather has a question.

[Dana Carvey]

Heather's a question.

[David Spade]

I. That's a good question. I thought it was paint, but paint's so thin. What can you use, Dana? That if it's going to stop? Just the color blue?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it's fabric. Right? Blue fabric. Fabric.

[David Spade]

Maybe they think it. A satellite or a weapon would think it's water. That's what they're saying in the comments. A lake or an ocean. So they don't burn that. Because that wouldn't help.

[Dana Carvey]

These are just theories, right? It kind of feels good.

[David Spade]

But I mean, this blue stuff, I think it's based on Maui fires. And then there was anything with a blue roof or blue umbrella or blue garbage can did not burn. So there's some method to that madness of. What? What's going on?

[Dana Carvey]

Maybe it's fire resistant fabric. There you go. It just happened.

[David Spade]

What did you say?

[Dana Carvey]

I'm not gonna say that. I'm gonna say resistance.

[David Spade]

You're not gonna say retard? Dent. You're not gonna say that?

[Dana Carvey]

No, that. That's. That's an inappropriate word. Retard. Dentist. Too close for my comfort.

[David Spade]

Okay, we won't say too close.

[Dana Carvey]

Nice try.

[David Spade]

All right. We haven't seen it yet.

[Dana Carvey]

All right. They're laying down blue fabric.

[David Spade]

I don't know this part well. It's moving too quickly for me. I can't read Arabic. Oh, see, they don't burn. That's the laser. They don't Burn.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

That was all we really needed to see. And we saw too fast.

[Dana Carvey]

Right? Google search in there.

[David Spade]

Bully. Incredible.

[Dana Carvey]

There's just some confusion.

[David Spade]

Let me just break down this Arabic that. I don't know what that means at all. It's too. It's moving too quickly. Just show another blue roof. God damn.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, how many blue roofs are.

[David Spade]

All right. Jump out. This guy's. He gets too much time with us.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know what the song was. And he's pointing his finger at us, like, scolding us.

[David Spade]

I was more into, like, how good is that guy's hair? I forgot about the roof for a minute.

[Dana Carvey]

Jeez, you do have hair. Jealousy, don't you?

[David Spade]

My. My grandma has blue hair. Maybe she. Hers won't burn. I don't know. We'll try. We'll bring her.

[Dana Carvey]

Thanks. Okay. Everyone wants a turquoise turf on top of their house. All right. Some kind of.

[David Spade]

I guess Boise State is safe.

[Dana Carvey]

Tar Heels would be a kind of a aqua.

[David Spade]

North Carolina. Might get some singeing. That's about it. Light blue. I don't know if it counts. Yeah, okay. Like. Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

What are you gonna do today? Gonna put that blue fabric on top of the roof again. Okay. All right.

[David Spade]

I'll throw a blue sweater up there to see if it helps at all. Anything.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, very quickly. I've known you 40 years. What's your favorite color?

[David Spade]

Blue.

[Dana Carvey]

Damn. That's not exciting.

[David Spade]

No. You should know me long enough to know I'm not exciting. This is blue. 50 grand. Wait, what'd you ask me? Whatever. It doesn't matter how much it costs. All my stuff are these quarter zips. Is that what they're called now? This is dark. It's navy. Yes. Oh, it's navy. Yeah. It's actually got a pattern if you pay attention.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm jealous of my jean jacket that I got from the New York magazine shoot for. For free.

[David Spade]

You stole it? I love when you steal from photo shoots. It's the greatest. I'm like, what are you gonna do with this? What are you gonna do with it? It only fits me.

[Dana Carvey]

You just walk away, man. Like our friend John Corbett. He just goes. When he finishes a TV show, he just goes in and swoops up like.

[David Spade]

All his and just walks out.

[Dana Carvey]

Doesn't say anything, doesn't talk to anyone. And then he puts him in a local kind of storage place. Hundreds and hundreds of T shirts, underwear.

[David Spade]

Socks, and you drive off and you're. Whatever. Rolls Royce. And then they're like, ring, ring, ring. And you're like, TRA la la. And you're like, hello? And it's like, dana Lorne, I'm disappointed. What about what I just did? The shoot isn't that great? We're missing a jean jacket.

[Dana Carvey]

I heard about the jean jacket. You know, budget's a budget, and it's that thing of, like, you know, it's over budget. You were a shoplifter. We've talked about that. I mean, you're a kleptomaniac.

[David Spade]

Christopher Walken whispered to me that maybe you accidentally walked away with it.

[Dana Carvey]

And then to make things worse, Christopher Walken walked away with a cowbell. And it's that thing of, like, you know, you do the sketch, and then you're Mr. Cowbell the rest of your life. And he couldn't resist stealing, Right?

[David Spade]

And then Christopher Walken was walking with Macaulay Culkin. I don't know what that has to do with it, but it sounded Christopher.

[Dana Carvey]

Christopher Robin walked with Pooh Bear.

[David Spade]

Lauren, you're losing your mind. I'm going over the hill. I gotta jump off.

[Dana Carvey]

Wait, Pooh. Tigger, let me ask you a question. What is more emotional or better for you? Charlie Brown and all Lucy and all Snoopy and all those people or Christopher Robin with Tigger and. And Pooh Bear and that gang and Eon.

[David Spade]

I know a lot of Eeyores. Eeyore was the original Debbie Downer, I have to say. But I will say Christopher Robin. I. I'm. I. I claim to be smart. I never understood. Were these stuffed animals that he was fake friends with until he went to school? Those are his friends.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know if they ever really mentioned his mental state.

[David Spade]

Let's go to the phones. Because I heard that when he went to school, that's when it all ended. Because they weren't real anymore. They were just stuffed animals.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, the final book.

[David Spade]

He found friends at school. Real people. I'm like, oh, that's brutal.

[Dana Carvey]

God. Did you also watch Popeye as a kid and go, is Popeye real or is Popeye an animated character?

[David Spade]

And is olive oil hot or am I not seeing it?

[Dana Carvey]

Olive oil anorexic or just.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And.

[David Spade]

Well, she on. Is she Ozzy Osborne on Ozempic or what's going on?

[Dana Carvey]

They're called GLPs now. You know?

[David Spade]

They are.

[Dana Carvey]

I think so. It's a class of. Oh, what? I'm not on it.

[David Spade]

My mom. Oh, well, what about. Okay, let's get back to your question, and then I have one for you. They were stuffed animals. This just in it's all weird.

[Dana Carvey]

I like Al's the smart one. I. I thought. And Charlie Brown. I'll tell you one thing about that. I did like a reason. I did love it. But when I hear that theme as an adult, it kind of gives me a little bit of melancholy. Creeps. There's something about that song.

[David Spade]

Like Schroeder sings.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, The. The theme to Charlie Brown. It gives me a little melancholy.

[David Spade]

Is that it?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

It's a YouTube show.

[Dana Carvey]

Very cool piece of jazz.

[David Spade]

Well, I liked Pig Pen. I thought he was funny.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, that's true.

[David Spade]

And I have a question. This is a legit question. Like, for sure. Who. What's that?

[Dana Carvey]

Did Peppermint Patty.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Does she like.

[Dana Carvey]

What was Peppermint Patty From a cartoon.

[David Spade]

Charlie Brown.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, Charlie Brown. Oh, I see what you're saying.

[David Spade]

Kind of stringy hair, but very, very cute. But kind of a tomboy.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, sexualizing that cartoon. I have a little metric counter. We just lost 1900 listeners.

[David Spade]

Oh, no, we did not. Did we?

[Dana Carvey]

No, we didn't. That's fine.

[David Spade]

No, I'm just saying Peppermint Patty was cute. I think my mom said, don't waste your time. There she is. She's super cute. And who was who? Gimme. You don't even know Charlie Brown, so you can't vote. I know, Linus.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Snoopy. Snoopy was a spin off. And a spin off of Snoopy was Woodstock.

[Dana Carvey]

And did Snoopy fly in World War I biplanes?

[David Spade]

I think he was imagining that.

[Dana Carvey]

The Red Baron pilot.

[David Spade]

Yeah, he was. Wait, Heather's got some breaking news. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Pepper And Patty generally displays characteristics of.

[David Spade]

A tomboy, but she is attracted to Charlie Brown based on her. Oh, right. She looks like a tomboy type, but she's attracted to Charlie Brown. They aren't going to get into all that back then, of course. She's fluid. Yeah. Lucy seems more lesbian. Ish to me. Just even though. Because now I kind of had a crush on all of them. I was so horny, I couldn't. Anybody? Anybody?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, then you must have been really hot for Flintstones. The wife. The wife on Flintstones.

[David Spade]

Oh, are you joking? No. I would take the daughter, but I would take Jane. What was the.

[Dana Carvey]

What you would take? Bam. Bam.

[David Spade]

What was the dog's name on the Brady Bunch?

[Dana Carvey]

The dog's name on the Brady Bunch was Bunchy.

[David Spade]

Jan. Anyway, we're gonna.

[Dana Carvey]

Crunchy was a good tiger.

[David Spade]

It's tiger. But everyone says Jan. That's a trick joke. Okay, I got a question for you, Dana. Can I ask you a question. Yes, that's you.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I know.

[David Spade]

Okay, what did you get enjoy more enjoyment from Brady Bunch or Partridge Family?

[Dana Carvey]

Go Partridge Family. Wow.

[David Spade]

No matter what you say. Wow.

[Dana Carvey]

Wow.

[David Spade]

Even with what? Oh, even when the Brady's went to Hawaii and they got the voodoo doll or whatever. That's what it was.

[Dana Carvey]

I was not. It was not must see TV for me. I, I liked, I liked Mission Impossible. I like we're talking about the 7 70s. I liked wild, Wild West.

[David Spade]

Oh, I like the way the frame squared when they went to commercial. I like that. Well, I think I love the Brady Bunch. And I liked God, Partner, Family. I loved, like the songs.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Bonaduce was brilliant. David Cassidy. Yeah, like the songs. The bus. The bus.

[David Spade]

He was hot. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

What was the. The matriarch. What was her. That actress's name, Reuben?

[David Spade]

Shirley Jones.

[Dana Carvey]

Shirley Jones. I sat next to her on a plane once and we never acknowledged each other.

[David Spade]

Story.

[Dana Carvey]

Elbow. Elbow. Isn't that a cool story? We should re edit this. So that's our, our.

[David Spade]

No, I like. That's our teaser.

[Dana Carvey]

That's our teaser. I just wanted to say hi. I'm on TV sometimes too, but yeah, she was buried.

[David Spade]

You're allowed to just say celebrity. You're allowed to just go, hey, it's called courtesy. Celebrity courtesy or something. You can say hi to anyone, but you can't take their whole day. You just gotta say, yeah. You go like this. I like your stuff. Here's me at the SNL 50th. I like your stuff. I like stuff. Good stuff. I like your work. And then I wait for it back and it's crickets.

[Dana Carvey]

I go, is there going to be anywhere, anyone at the 50th that you have not met? That's the question.

[David Spade]

Oh, wow. You know, some of the hosts, I'm.

[Dana Carvey]

Sure you know Bradley Cooper, you know, not really. He was at the 40th and I said, what's up, Coop?

[David Spade]

I did what? Oh, I did a sketch them at the 40th. I saw Taylor. That's where I met Taylor. Swift is at the 40th. I don't know, she'll probably be there. I don't think I'll try to hog her her time. I do. I hope Miley sings. I love Miley. And I don't know who's going to sing or do what. I'm just kind of looking forward to seeing surprising people like, oh, you're here. Oh, you're. Oh, there's that person.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, we'll see. We're gonna See what happens.

[David Spade]

Yep, we sure will. Okay, what's the next story? We're burning time. We're killing it.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. That's amazing. It seems like we've been on like five seconds. Take a look at this video. That's a good byline. There's a guide looking at it.

[C]

Take a look at this video.

[David Spade]

Oh.

[C]

At first glance, it looks like a group of friends playing football.

[David Spade]

Why do I care?

[C]

If you look closely, no one really seems to want to win the game.

[David Spade]

Oh, it's the NBA.

[C]

Two seconds left on the clock. This team scores the winning goal, but no one celebrates. What is going on?

[David Spade]

What's going on here?

[C]

The same pattern happens in other sports like basketball, ping pong, cricket, hockey, and pretty much every sport you can imagine. These are betting farms run by one of the biggest casinos in the world, 1xBet. And these people are actually working. You can even see the same players.

[David Spade]

Playing on different team.

[C]

There are also many unconventional sports like sub soccer and sub soccer. The investigative outlet Bellingcat traced these videos all over Russia and Belarus. Bellows people are being recruited every day. Nobody take a look at this player with the tattoo on his arm. He's playing for hours.

[David Spade]

Oh, they're playing under soccer, whatever it's called.

[Dana Carvey]

And you can bet on any of these goofy games.

[David Spade]

So basically they have these fake sports and then you just bet on them. That's a good biz. They get the stupidest sports they make up.

[C]

Take a look at this video.

[David Spade]

Nope, not again.

[Dana Carvey]

Not anymore. I guess you. It's legit, right? I mean, and then you're, you're just betting two losers can kick a ball around better.

[David Spade]

Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean. Oh, the super bowl will be on after this, right? So I'm going to say, is the super bowl fixed? It's a great question, Dana. I. I can't say it is, but I know they have a little caveat. They have an out by saying the NFL is an entertainment program. So it's not just a sporting. It's not just sports. So there's something where they can get away with tweaking it and they can't get in trouble. Did you know this?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, our friend Gronk who was on our podcast, just thinks that the refs are dazzled by the Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor and the whole thing. And just push comes to shove and these micro calls like, was the ball there, there? And they do the play 50 times in a row and you know, AI could tell us better, but it seems like Kansas City does get some good calls. They're also.

[David Spade]

They could do spots with lasers. They could make it so much easier than just. Just picture two dupuses, no offense, on the side with chains going. I think it's about here. And then you're like, the whole game decides on there. They walk up 10 yards. They're like, ah, this feels. I was eyeballing it. They eyeball. They could do it so perfectly and exactly.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, they could make it. Yeah. Because they could put a chip in the football or something. Because it's like, you know, over and over again, it. Did it touch the. The white line or not? Back and forth, back and forth. Super bowl losers. No one will ever hear of you. Super Bowl. So, yeah, it's. It's a frustrating sport to watch, I'll say. Because when your team does a good play, whatever your team is, and then. And then you wait up. Flag it.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Usually it's all holding on the. Off the Chiefs.

[David Spade]

Yeah. And when you say every play there's technically holding, those linemen grab each other. You could probably call one whenever you felt like.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And why now? And pass interference. They're dancing in the end zone. There's. They're just. The guy is draped and grabbing before the ball gets there and they don't call it. And the next play they do. So it's a frustrating.

[David Spade]

Guy's nowhere near. Yeah, I agree. I think Super Bowl. I think it's too perfect that. I mean, the NFL does do better if Taylor's there. Obviously does do better if the Chiefs. But I don't think he would propose that would be too. Like, there's nowhere to go in life after that.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, they're going for too high of.

[David Spade]

A point and then everything's downhill. Save.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. It said superstar team. They're going for the three Pete.

[David Spade]

Right.

[Dana Carvey]

Which is unparalleled in professional sports. It's an amazing achievement. It is a compelling game because the Eagles have the best running back maybe of all time right now. Barkley. So it's an interesting thing, but if you're watching the Chiefs play, they. They seem to find a way. It's amazing how many games they won by like a field goal last second this season. Unbelievable. So they find a way to win.

[David Spade]

They find a way to win. I'm going to put a couple of bucks on it. Don't worry about it.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, really? With Venmo, you're gonna. Venmo.

[David Spade]

I do the ones where you pick a fantasy team online, like on DraftKings, and then you only pick six players, and you have a budget, so it's very tricky. But guess what? I do pretty good live.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, you only live once, twice, max. So definitely just keep, you know.

[David Spade]

Oh, we should have gotten a story about this kid that says he's reincarnated. And he went back to his house, like in Finland and told everything where everything was. And he was like four. He's like, that's where you go in.

[Dana Carvey]

It's kind of cool.

[David Spade]

Save it for next week. That's a little teaser.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Okay. Next. Next one. Life's biggest questions. There's a few of them, Dana, in your life.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

What house do I buy? What college should I go to? And will you marry me? That's a big one, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Would you like to marry me?

[David Spade]

And therefore, would you be cool with marrying me?

[Dana Carvey]

Would you be okay. Okay. With committing 247 of your life for multiple decades to me?

[David Spade]

To me.

[Dana Carvey]

And that's what the what where blue now comes in. Because they're the. They're the ultimate for choosing the perfect engagement ring. Shape, size, style, setting, cut, color, clarity. Carrot.

[David Spade]

That's just off the top of your head. And if you. If you're like most people, you may have no idea, but she knows the girls, the women, they know this stuff. So it's time to learn. And you go toNew Blue Nile dot com. That's where you learn dot com.

[Dana Carvey]

This is going to make your life a lot easier, create you a bigger.

[David Spade]

More brilliant engagement ring than you can imagine at a price you won't find at a traditional jeweler.

[Dana Carvey]

Since 1999, Blue Nile has been the original online jeweler.

[David Spade]

They've always been committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed. Diamond price guarantee means that most cases, they'll meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond. And your surprise will stay safe because every order is insured, arrives in packaging that's very plain, won't give it away because these are usually a surprise and in most cases, delivered overnight.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And you've got free shipping and returns. So it's kind of like what I would call foolproof. Blue Nile has 100% satisfaction guarantee, so that way you can make sure you pick the right one for that someone who's special.

[David Spade]

Right. Now go get 50 bucks off your purchase of $500 or more with code FLY F L. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

@Bluenile.Com that's $50 off with code [e-mail].

[David Spade]

Bluenile.com Are you ready to optimize your nutrition, Dana?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. Yes. I'm gonna say yes.

[David Spade]

I got factor. It has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved. Ready to heat and eat in two minutes. That's quick.

[Dana Carvey]

That's quick.

[David Spade]

Yeah. You can fuel right away. You feel great. No matter what life throws at you. It arrives fresh, fully prepared. Perfect for an active, busy guy like Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. You know, I've heard is you lose up to eight pounds in eight weeks with factor keto meals. Based on a randomized controlled clinical trial with factor keto. Results will vary, of course, depending on diet and exercise.

[David Spade]

Of course.

[Dana Carvey]

Of course.

[David Spade]

40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week. Easy to pick meals tailored to your goals. Choose some preferences like calorie smart, more protein keto, you know, all that stuff.

[Dana Carvey]

Factor can help you feel your best all day long, which is a good thing. With wholesome smoothies, breakfast grab and go snacks and more add ons. David.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Reach your goals this year with ingredients you can trust. Convenience you can't beat. Eat smart with factor. Get started@Factor Meals.com Fly 50 off. That's Fly 50 off. Get 50 off your first box plus free shipping.

[Dana Carvey]

That's code [e-mail] Fly 50 off to get 50 off plus free shipping on your first box.

[David Spade]

Robert Half. Research indicates nine out of ten hiring managers are having difficulty hiring. If you have open roles, chances are you're feeling this too. That's why you need Robert Half. Our specialized recruiting professionals engage their skills with our award winning AI to connect businesses of all sizes with highly skilled talent in finance and accounting, technology, marketing and creative, legal and administrative and customer support. At Robert Half, we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com today.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, here we go.

[David Spade]

No idea. What is this guy? Oh, it's a ball you try to roll in a.

[Dana Carvey]

In a skate park. So this.

[David Spade]

Okay, Heather, did you watch that? So what's the point?

[Dana Carvey]

He's throwing a ball in a skate park. In a bowl, a cement bowl. And it loops around, it hits a guy in the crotch who's sitting there waiting for it.

[David Spade]

Picks up steam and he's in the exact. Is it a bowling ball? Dude. Dana, I don't know if I've told you this about my nuts, but I don't tell everyone they do not take well to a bowling ball ramming into them at 30 miles an hour.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, we heard about the dog. Oh, the dog is coming to a theater.

[David Spade]

Coming to something. Someday.

[Dana Carvey]

Someday. It's a 3, 800 budget and another beating.

[David Spade]

Family we got another beating coming up this week. Oh, someone's flight is late. They're not gonna make it on time for their shoot tomorrow.

[Dana Carvey]

Ah, good Lord.

[David Spade]

Being a powerful movie producer is tough.

[Dana Carvey]

Are you a taskmaster? It must just.

[David Spade]

Oh, my God. It's not even like a real movie. That the catering is literally five triskets in a Slim Jim. It's just everybody fights.

[Dana Carvey]

Geez, that could be a Snoop Dogg song. 5. I said five Triscuits in a Slim Jim. Snoop.

[David Spade]

Drop it like it's how half empty. Capri Sun. Is that how you say it? Capri Sun. Heather's zoning out. Is it Capri sun or Capri Sun? Capri. Well, don't act like I'm so stupid. I'm not four. Why would I ever drink one? Ow.

[Dana Carvey]

I've seen him. I've never gotten near one.

[David Spade]

Dana doesn't know anything. Look at him.

[Dana Carvey]

He's like, oh, I don't know nothing about no coffee that's above my pay.

[David Spade]

Grade or drinking a bag or I'll be darn.

[Dana Carvey]

Take a paper cup any old day of the week. Is that your plan? You're gonna drink out of bay? What do you think you are? Why don't you just get Tang and go on the space. By the way, the people, the space station have lost bodily functions. They've been up there so freaking long that.

[David Spade]

Oh, my God, please save them.

[Dana Carvey]

Dana, she said, well, Trump. Trump called up. Elon. Elon, how you doing? Great. You gotta go get him. You gotta go get him. Elon. So he's trying to get SpaceX to hurry up rescue these up there for a weekend, and they're there like eight months later.

[David Spade]

Now I have a conspiracy theory that they're not there. No, don't guess ahead.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, I'm. I'm waiting.

[David Spade]

Okay, ready? I've got patience over Christmas to try to keep the fun. Yeah, they wore little stocking Christmas hats and stuff, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And everyone's like, oh, they're trying to cheer everybody up.

[Dana Carvey]

They're trying to cheer.

[David Spade]

Why would they have those there? They're going for a weekend. This isn't Gilligan's Island. Why would they carry Christmas stuff that's four months away from when they went up?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I have a supply list here of all the things that are on this base.

[David Spade]

On his face. It might be. They might have a store.

[Dana Carvey]

10,000 Cherry Chapstick Christmas hats. Cherry Chapstick. 10,000 Cherry Chapsticks.

[David Spade]

Tastes like cherry chapstick. Okay, this.

[Dana Carvey]

What I didn't really understand 3000 signed 8 by tens of comedian David Spade.

[David Spade]

To hand out to the Martians.

[Dana Carvey]

It's on the space station.

[David Spade]

I know. Hey, we try to pull up to see if they ever work hats or my full of shit again.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah, they have Halloween costumes where they. They go as Neil Armstrong. They do have Christmas hats.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

They have Easter eggs. Yeah. They have everything up there.

[David Spade]

Candy store.

[Dana Carvey]

They do have a little. A Seas Candies outlet. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Maybe they have a lady Foot Locker.

[Dana Carvey]

By the way, how does Seas Candies make it? Have you ever seen a Seas Candies commercial?

[David Spade]

No, never. It's really word of mouth at this point.

[Dana Carvey]

I know, but I. I go in there.

[David Spade]

Big piece of cake last night.

[Dana Carvey]

Did he.

[David Spade]

And he's. Today. He always gets a dessert. He always regrets it. Oh, here it is. Look at this. I knew I saw this.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. All right. Oh, there they are. They're up there. Yeah. Whoa. Her hair's a little crazy.

[David Spade]

Can we scroll down?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Bride of Frankenstein. Is that a wig? What is she doing, by the way?

[David Spade]

They had a party. They had guests over. That's a little suspicious. They're friends. Over.

[Dana Carvey]

It looks to me. And I don't know enough about gravity. I don't know anything. But it looks like they've shrunken down to gnome size. The guy in the middle looks like he's two feet tall. So this is it. Must be the gravity just shrunk.

[David Spade]

Is that a snowman in the middle? They have snow.

[Dana Carvey]

I know.

[David Spade]

He did my Gilligan's island joke. Oh, it's. That means I'm corny. If that guy can think of it. Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. Not a good thing.

[David Spade]

No, we're, you know, we're not here to start trouble.

[Dana Carvey]

Not a good luck. But we wish them all the best. We really do. And we wish him a safe journey home.

[David Spade]

We wish him everything. I do wish him a safe. That's horrified. I didn't like being that car for four and a half hours today. So, like unscheduled. If you're ready for it, you're ready for it.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. Quiz. You take off. 3, 2, 1. You take off. How much time goes by before you're docking with the space station?

[David Spade]

Oh, I know this one.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

No, I don't. Okay. I'm gonna guess so if I get any astronaut thing.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you're. You're on the rocket. The launch pad. 3, 2, 1.

[David Spade]

You take 96 hours, 43 minutes. Really?

[Dana Carvey]

I made that up.

[David Spade]

Oh, my God. I thought mine sounded stupid. Yours is.

[Dana Carvey]

It's not that Far. It's not that far. You know. Remember Shatner went up in Bezos's rock.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a thin blue line.

[David Spade]

And suddenly would you want to do that? You can't go past the sub barrier or something in space.

[Dana Carvey]

There's like a. I wouldn't do Bezos. That's a. That's a baby rocket. You go up, you come down. I would want to go around the earth, which some people did on space. Space. Go around it. I would go around the Earth.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

I would like to go to the moon and stay at a Howard Johnson's, like.

[David Spade]

Anyway. Are you ready for this?

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. You ready for this? Here we are. Who's better than David Spade? He's got all the movies now. He's got Bus Boys with Teo Voon, and they're gonna be tremendous.

[David Spade]

That's good. Any Regis? I'll take.

[Dana Carvey]

I'll take.

[David Spade]

All right. Another one before Dan. I got a million things going. Do you, though? I'm gonna do a spot at the store tonight.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Oh, this was. This is Dana centric turf.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

I'll let you comment. I'll. I'll just read the beginning. It took 30 years to fix this Wayne's World joke.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Now let's roll. Let's see what happens. See if Dana knows.

[D]

Nearly 30 years. One of Wayne's World's best jokes was completely. If you saw Wayne's World on TV or on video between 1993 and 2022, the guitar store Stairway to Heaven joke played like this.

[David Spade]

No. Stairway denied.

[D]

Yeah, those aren't the notes to Stairway to Heaven, which ruins the joke. The thing is, Mike Myers is no dummy. And the song was correct in the theatrical release.

[David Spade]

Hey, tonight. He waited too long.

[D]

That makes sense. Great joke. But when it came time to release the movie on vhs, Led Zeppelin and Warner Music Group wanted to charge Paramount a hundred thousand dollars.

[David Spade]

Sounds low.

[D]

Actually two seconds of the song. So the studio opted to change the notes instead. And then it stayed that way for 29 damn years until they released Wayne's World on 4K Blu Ray and put it onto Max. At which point the original version was restored. And now all is right in the universe once again.

[Dana Carvey]

This guy's a keeper. For all the ladies that are single out there, if you want. This guy's got a lot of free time, man. I think it was a. There was an issue with. With having to pay for it or not. So I guess Mike did two takes.

[David Spade]

It looked like Mike was just. Can't play the guitar. He's just Goofing around the first one. The second one, they looped in the real notes.

[Dana Carvey]

But I get what the guy's saying. Hey, that. No Stairway. But he didn't have the beginning notes right.

[David Spade]

I think you can do that much of Stairway and not have to pay. That seemed pretty quick.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. This was right before I did my drum solo. I was. I wasn't paying much attention. I was just practicing on my drum.

[David Spade]

Did you do it in that store?

[Dana Carvey]

I did.

[David Spade]

Was it the Guitar center on Sunset?

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. Maybe.

[David Spade]

Did you shoot it in la?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah, all la. But, I mean, maybe people know the story, but I practice on a Yamaha jazz set where the drums are small and down low and all stacked right side by side. Please stay with me, David. And then I walked on the set and I had this gigantic Yamaha set where it's just spread out.

[David Spade]

Oh, like a bigger drum.

[Dana Carvey]

I practiced everything right in here. I had a drum solo perfect. And then I got there and I had to reach. And I did. I never really liked the drum solo.

[David Spade]

But it was, like, too good because they're so, so.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you have to reach. You're reaching so far. And I was practicing tight. Yeah, like Buddy Rich.

[David Spade]

I get it. That story is interesting. What did Bonnie and Terry say?

[Dana Carvey]

Bonnie was the one who said at the end, just hit the little thing and go. Thanks. I like to play. Would only worked if the solo was really good. I didn't think it was that good. But there's somebody. Some heavy metal bands. Sometimes the drum. The drummer will do the gar.

[David Spade]

Oh, good.

[Dana Carvey]

I had a lot of drumming things I did play. I got to play with you, too. For the amaze.

[David Spade]

I was underneath the stage via satellite.

[Dana Carvey]

Even better than the real thing. Good night, everybody. I'm gonna mic draw. I'm gonna.

[David Spade]

I will say if I was. When I was in Joe Dirt, we're looking for a movie, looking for songs. We couldn't get Ted Nugent, that cat Scratch fever was 150,000 for what, nine seconds? And ACDC was 500,000. I heard Zeppelin back then was almost a million. Sandler gets him for some stuff. ACDC and Zeppelin, which are the most expensive. And so we tried to make deals with other bands. Steve Miller was too much. We had a bunch of Steve Miller in the first draft. It's just hard to get songs, you know, all these dirt ball songs. But we wound up with some cool nuggets like Argent. Hold your head up. And, you know, we had some killers in there.

[Dana Carvey]

Creative. I don't know what we paid for to do Bohemian Rhapsody. But we're in the wrong business. I mean, if you own music. And this is why these companies, these big, big corporate. Are giving Springsteen like 500 million to. They feel that they can monetize their catalogs over time.

[David Spade]

Yeah, it's.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, Sinatra is still like a fortune. Yeah. I mean, here's a.

[David Spade]

Here's an example which is nothing like that. But I just saw in a story that in New York, to make money, David Dinkins, the old mayor soldier, all the parking meters to Saudi Arabia for a billion. Now, that is so much money. And so he. They get. They get all the money. Now, that was the story in the news, and he said it actually is a ripoff because now, this many years later, 25 years later, whatever, they probably make 10 billion a year from it. So that's what you're saying about music. You risk it. You go, our park meter's gonna go away. Is music gonna go away? Nope. They still make a ton off it.

[Dana Carvey]

And predominantly, it's this music from our generation is what they're paying for.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Because today's music is not as maybe commercial or catchy. You know, there's a lot of hooks. You go play for a young person, they're gonna go, holy. You know, hopefully. I think Taylor Swift is too smart to sell her catalog, but she obviously.

[David Spade]

Could for more than a billion in a pinch. But she doesn't have a pinch yet. She's not in a pinch.

[Dana Carvey]

She. I think that Mrs. Kelsey is what I call her. Mrs. Kelsey will do fine.

[David Spade]

Have you heard her podcast yet?

[Dana Carvey]

She has a podcast now. No, I. I'm saying that Taylor Swift.

[David Spade]

No, not. This is Jason. No, Travis is. Wait, not their mom.

[Dana Carvey]

No.

[David Spade]

Jason's wife has one.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, right. Jason's wife has a podcast that's more.

[David Spade]

Unexpected than their mom. Their mom, I would think would be doing something on the Food Network or doing a cooking. So just something, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, in your movie should have a thing where you go into a time machine accident dentally, like Bill and Ted for a minute. And everyone you talk to on planet Earth has a podcast like, what do we want?

[David Spade]

What do we go two years into the future?

[Dana Carvey]

But you. And then you take like a. A time traveling and you go. You go to Malaysia. You go all over the world. You can't find anybody who does not have a podcast.

[David Spade]

SNL had kind of a funny sketch about.

[Dana Carvey]

Did they.

[David Spade]

They said, you go to the doctor and it's called medcast. Guys won't tell doctors about Their feelings. So they do a podcast with the doctor, and they tell everything about their life. That's the only way they will. They're on a dumb podcast with other guys.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. And that's.

[David Spade]

The doctor, like, laughs and goes, yeah, now. And what are you drinking? You're drinking a lot now. And he's like, oh, no. He goes, you get a couple beers? Oh, yeah. On the weekends, I go, big Doctor's like, okay. But it's. It's that the framework is podcast. Actually, that. That week I saw the show, they had two podcast bits, which, if we were there in the old days, one would have probably gotten pushed for another week because you would write obscure thing. A podcast sketch is sort of obscure. And then the week you write it, there's another one. Bump, bump. But they did them both.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, good for Mark Marin and. And Joe Rogan to get in. In 2000.

[David Spade]

We got Marin coming up on Fly on the Wall soon. Who's on Fly on the Wall this week? Dana? We got this week. It's still Neal in, but by this time, I don't know who it'll be. Do you want to type it in here?

[Dana Carvey]

Right now? Currently is Lisa Kudrow.

[David Spade]

Are you sure?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I am.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Lisa Kudrow. She has a new show right now. Check her out. We have Superfly, which is on video, and it's us. And sometimes we have guests, and then we also have. Nobody understands. We have Fly on the Wall, which is essentially audio only. Thank you. Thank you.

[David Spade]

All right, so let's go one more story, and then we'll close up.

[Dana Carvey]

One more story, and then we'll wind.

[David Spade]

It, and we'll say, good luck with. Good luck with this super bowl, everyone. Okay, what is this? Hang on, Hang on. Oh, this guy. Dana, I don't know how you feel about pain.

[Dana Carvey]

Mm.

[David Spade]

This guy. I mean, this is. Talk about get famous. I don't know. You ever been hitting the shin with something like a.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

Scooter. Okay, this guy makes us a rope with all scooters.

[C]

I rank it a 3 out of 10 on the pain scale. Coming in at number 4 is bed frames. I rank this a 5 out of 10.

[David Spade]

This sucked right in the shin.

[C]

We have the double razor scooter, ceiling fan.

[Dana Carvey]

This was terrible.

[C]

It cut me open. And I rate this at eight out of ten. Yeah, don't do it.

[Dana Carvey]

That guy.

[C]

At number two, we have the trailer hitch ceiling. Nine out of ten on the paint scale.

[David Spade]

Why is this guy in Bus Boys?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[C]

I guess at number one, we have you guys. 100 out of 10. These are the five.

[David Spade]

Oh, he rated that a hundred out of 10. That was the worst pain. What was the last one?

[Dana Carvey]

I don't.

[David Spade]

That was funny. But this is like I was a.

[Dana Carvey]

Rope with all these heavy objects attached to it. Spins it and has it smash into his shins and. And he's got. He makes a million.

[David Spade]

How much pain it is.

[Dana Carvey]

When you watch ufc, they do those kind of kicks. And then I'm sure he's swollen up and stuff. What people will do for views. Another. Another time for another podcast.

[David Spade]

I won't do that.

[Dana Carvey]

You won't physically torture yourself.

[David Spade]

As Meatloaf would say, I'll do anything for views, but I won't do that. Do you know that song?

[Dana Carvey]

No. I know his brother, who's from Italy, Matzo Ball had a similar song.

[David Spade]

You know, his cousin Bunt Cake.

[Dana Carvey]

Matzo Ball would be Israel, a Jewish guy now.

[David Spade]

So that thing with the. Yeah, we would. We'll put. It's going to be hard to put good songs in busways. We already. Oh, we need something from. I can't say it, but we'll find it. We're gonna find them.

[Dana Carvey]

You. I could maybe angle chopped broccoli, if you want that.

[David Spade]

It's cranked. It's cranked in the car. In my old El Camino. Okay, I will. I might hold you to that, because we. We need to get some songs.

[Dana Carvey]

We do. Okay.

[David Spade]

Well, thank you, Dana. It was nice meeting you. We had a great time. And there's a Super bowl weekend, so everyone have a nice time. We'll go over, see if I want any money on.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I'm gonna. We're gonna place bets. I'm gonna place a bet, you're gonna place a bet, and we're gonna see who wins the most money. And it's going to be an interesting little competition.

[David Spade]

I say 33. 27 Kansas City. Is that even a number? Could it be 33? Yeah, it could be.

[Dana Carvey]

I think so. I'll. I'll say 42. Whoa. 35 Philly.

[David Spade]

Whoa.

[Dana Carvey]

They scored 55 points. Last.

[David Spade]

I know one of us is gonna win. Okay. Thank you, Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

Thank you, David. Thank you.

[David Spade]

Thanks, audience. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.