SUPERFLY #55 - Mama Said Knock You Out

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade: SUPERFLY #55 - Mama Said Knock You Out

Release Date: February 14, 2025

Introduction

In "SUPERFLY #55 - Mama Said Knock You Out," hosts Dana Carvey and David Spade delve into a myriad of topics ranging from pop culture and celebrity antics to bizarre news stories and personal anecdotes. This episode weaves together humor, insightful commentary, and engaging banter, providing listeners with a rich and entertaining experience.

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1. Satirical Takes on the Art World

Timestamp: [21:43] - [23:07]

Dana and David kick off the episode by poking fun at the contemporary art scene, particularly focusing on the absurdity of selling "invisible sculptures." David shares a humorous anecdote about visiting an art museum under the influence, where he and friends laughed uncontrollably at a minimalistic art piece:

• David: "We laughed so hard, we couldn't even [00:22: A: I mean, this stuff is. This is a 18,000. Where do you feel like. I'm not paying 20 for invisible nothing. 20 is my, my top. That's my ceiling.]"

Dana jokes about advertising a fictitious theater show titled "Not David Spade," highlighting the duo's self-deprecating humor:

• Dana: "Triple the ticket price. Triple. Because it is better to not hear me talk. In all honesty."

---

2. Celebrity Encounters and Hypothetical Scenarios

Timestamp: [23:07] - [27:03]

The conversation shifts to imagining interactions with iconic figures like Elvis Presley and Adolf Hitler, blending historical references with comedic twists. David envisions a scenario where Elvis and Hitler are secretly living in a bunker beneath Las Vegas, plotting world domination:

• David: "They're hanging out for decades in there. Elvis, would you tell Adolf to stop staring at me? Come on, Elvis."

Dana adds to the hilarity by suggesting they teach Adolf English to manage his awkward behavior:

• Dana: "Adolf, repeat after me. See? Spot, run. Right. Oh, look, Bobby."

This segment underscores their ability to blend dark humor with imaginative storytelling.

---

3. Bizarre News Stories: Spider Apocalypse

Timestamp: [28:32] - [30:06]

Dana and David tackle the alarming news of spiders falling from the sky in Brazil, dubbing it "Spiderocalypse." They humorously discuss potential reactions to such an absurd event:

• Dana: "Spiders are falling from the sky in Brazil. Spiderocalypse. Everything's apocalypse. Everything's mageddon. Spidergeddonmageddon Apocalypse."

• David: "I would look. I would protect you. I take out my phone."

Dana envisions using a shotgun to defend against the airborne arachnids, while David theorizes about the spiders' inability to sustain flight:

• Dana: "I would take out. You know, I would just shoot my shotgun straight up."

• David: "They're riding the jet streamers. Spiders can't really fly."

Their playful banter highlights the duo's knack for turning even the most unsettling news into comedic gold.

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4. Super Bowl Commentary: Players, Fashion, and Commercials

Timestamp: [03:56] - [16:30]

Dana and David delve into their thoughts on the Super Bowl, covering various aspects from player performances to extravagant commercials. They critique celebrity appearances, such as Travis Kelce's fashionable attire and Kanye West's high-budget commercials:

• Dana: "Jason Kelsey. He retires. But he has to go root for the Eagles and against his brother. Sort of, right?"

• David: "But his wife and the entire extended family. It's really cool to see an empire built from the ground up."

They also mock the over-the-top nature of Super Bowl commercials, particularly Kanye West's controversial advertisement:

• Dana: "He's like, we all have different merch. It's very interesting merch."

• David: "Andy Logan's call of, 'Your rat has to be too big.'"

Their commentary provides a humorous yet critical take on the commercialization and celebrity culture surrounding the Super Bowl.

---

5. The Absurdity of Rich People's Habits

Timestamp: [26:07] - [33:33]

The hosts explore the extravagant lifestyles of the ultra-wealthy, sharing amusing observations about their opulent habits. They joke about massive closets, overpriced invisible art pieces, and the nonsensical costs associated with wealth:

• Dana: "They had a party and went in the closet. And then they said, oh, and here's how they get their clothes button. Like the laundromat."

• David: "If I had your money, I'd throw mine away. This is ridiculous."

Dana reminisces about simpler times, contrasting them with the ridiculousness of modern luxury:

• Dana: "We didn't wear helmets for sure on our bikes."

• David: "It's the easiest thing in the world. You have a cook watching a guy cook."

Their discussion underscores the comedic gap between everyday life and the surreal world of extreme wealth.

---

6. Bizarre Animal Encounters and Hypothetical Games

Timestamp: [28:32] - [34:25]

Dana and David shift focus to unusual animal-related stories, including enormous rats in New York and fictional scenarios where spiders drive cars in Brazil:

• Dana: "Spiders are driving all over Brazil and hitting people, their cars. You're like, they can't drive. They can land on your car."

• David: "If your rat is so big it has an iPhone, you might be dealing with a rat that's too big."

They further explore the idea of oversized rats through exaggerated humor, creating absurd conditions that define a "too big" rat.

---

7. Blindfolded Chess and Genius Feats

Timestamp: [55:27] - [58:17]

The duo humorously critiques a viral video featuring Magnus Carlsen playing blindfolded chess against multiple opponents simultaneously. They mock the complexity and skepticism surrounding such feats:

• Mintash: "If it's fake, he has a lot of extras."

• Dana: "Let me see if this one's any. I know they're gonna suck."

• David: "If he can beat you in arm wrestling, that's impressive."

Dana and David playfully question the legitimacy of the performance while acknowledging the impressive nature of Carlsen's skills, blending skepticism with admiration.

---

8. Interactive Comedy and Improvisation

Timestamp: [30:35] - [39:35]

Dana and David engage in improvisational comedy, creating fictional scenarios and characters on the spot. This segment showcases their quick wit and chemistry:

• Dana: "Two nuts walk into a bar. I don't give a. That's my best bit."

• David: "We're going to book you at a big theater. You know, David Spade is going to stay backstage for an hour. Enjoy the show."

They experiment with live-action bits, blending real-time interaction with scripted humor, keeping the audience engaged and entertained.

---

9. Closing Remarks and High Notes

Timestamp: [58:50] - [59:09]

As the episode draws to a close, Dana and David aim to leave listeners on a high note with final humorous exchanges:

• Dana: "This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Super Fly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade."

• David: "Hope you liked it."

Their sign-off maintains the light-hearted and convivial atmosphere that characterizes the episode.

---

Notable Quotes

• David Carvey (23:07): "They're hanging out for decades in there. Elvis, would you tell Adolf to stop staring at me? Come on, Elvis."

• Dana Spade (28:32): "Spiders are falling from the sky in Brazil. Spiderocalypse. Everything's apocalypse. Everything's mageddon. Spidergeddonmageddon Apocalypse."

• David Spade (15:32): "Cool, that Clark on the bench. Clark Gable. Harry a little coming down."

• Dana Carvey (55:16): "Next time we're at Chili's. That's kind of good, right?"

---

Conclusion

In "SUPERFLY #55 - Mama Said Knock You Out," Dana Carvey and David Spade deliver a masterclass in comedy, seamlessly blending observational humor with imaginative storytelling. From satirical takes on the art world to mocking celebrity behaviors and bizarre news stories, the episode offers a comprehensive and engaging listening experience. Their dynamic chemistry and sharp wit ensure that even the most outlandish topics are transformed into laugh-out-loud moments, making this episode a standout in the "Fly on the Wall" series.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

Even any chest and neck sins. It goes all the way down.

[B]

That's still a pretty good amount of chest. Chest hair. No, I don't. Not really. I'm Norwegian and Irish. I mean, come on.

[A]

Did this, this Letterman beer, does he still have it at that long?

[B]

No, he. He trimmed about 2 inches off it. So it just covers his collarbone. I don't know. But I think he looks good in it. Because you know all the stuff around here. Not you, because you're. You're kind of eternally youthful. Your new nickname is Peter Pan Spade Christ 6. But I think Letterman looks good. It's just an advantage Men have. Women have to get facelifts. Men can grow a beard. So there. End of story. News flash.

[A]

You know what was funny?

[B]

Make a clip out of that. Patrick.

[A]

He goes, not enough. But I. I remember when. The weekend. For like a year, he had, like a Band Aid on his face or something. And then he had, like, a fat suit on. Was that something else, too?

[B]

Who was that?

[A]

The singer, the Weeknd. And then he. I don't think he ever paid off that Band Aid bit. It was like a long play.

[B]

We're in the era that a Band Aid. It's not a bit. It could just be a fashion choice. I remember the first dude I saw, dude who had pants on Levi 501s, and one pant leg was rolled up on the top of his knee. And first time I saw it, just walking around. What's up? No comment. No wound on the calf, but just one pant leg rolled up. I remember the first time I was going on the lot. I remember the first time a guy said, hey, dog. To me.

[A]

What's up, dog?

[B]

What's up, dog? And that was kind of cool, too. So which brings us to Kendrick Lamar. Should we. I know it's.

[A]

Oh, Super Bowl. Yeah, we got super bowl bits. What's up?

[B]

I'm just. Let me just put in context because I don't want to be a grumpy old man. Everything was better than it.

[A]

You don't get culture. You don't get it. Go ahead.

[B]

I was born and bred and introduced to hip hop in the 90s.

[A]

I said a hip.

[B]

Okay, here I got three examples. I'm saying a hip hop in the 90s, or rap, if you will. The first one was Sir Mix a lot. I like big butts and I cannot lie. Can't lie. That's funny. Very potent, really. I got good buzzing and cannot lie to choose it.

[A]

And good rhythm.

[B]

Yeah, got it. Super catchy. Get stung, one of your favorites, I believe, which I think also is crazy brilliant. Mama said knock you out. Mama said knock you out by LL Cool J. Mama said knock you out.

[A]

Yeah. The beginning is good.

[B]

So it has.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anthem. I mean, the lyric of Mama, My mother said knock you out.

[A]

My madre.

[B]

Madre. Yeah, Mia madre. It'll knock me out, though, so it's sort of sweet in a way. Mom said knock you out I'm gonna knock you out. Mama said get you in a headlock.

[A]

I'm gonna say kick you into balls.

[B]

I'm gonna kick you in the balls. Mom. Mom said wrap a pizza.

[A]

I wonder How?

[B]

Around your face. I'm gonna wrap a pizza around you.

[A]

Go ahead. These were all possible lyrics that they had to whittle down. Don't call it a comeback. Is that it? I've been here for years. That how it starts?

[B]

Yeah. Don't call to come back. Hello, Cool J is cool.

[A]

That's a great beginning, too.

[B]

He was on yeah, don't call to come back. I like LL Cool J. I think he also. He was on SNL as the host. And I had him in church chat in, read through. And then for whatever reason, he was perfectly good for every reason. His part got cut. I wasn't sure the reason I did it by you. I don't remember. It wasn't a big part. But then later on, he job by Carl sidled up and kind of was very serious. He goes, what was wrong with what I do? What I do?

[A]

I said, I do wrong.

[B]

I said, lauren said knock you out.

[A]

No one said cut you out.

[B]

Knock him out. Okay, two more. Just before we go to Kendrick Lamar.

[A]

Who, before we go to commercial, seems.

[B]

Like a beautiful person.

[A]

Snoop Dogg throws that in. Which one? Gin and Ju like it's Hot was the first.

[B]

Holy. I played a day in the life for my kids and they put on Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot.

[A]

But talk about crazy, catchy, great gin and juice.

[B]

I like big butts. Drop it like it's hot. Mama said knock you out. And then the other thing I was introduced to hip hop and rap was Eminem with a real Slim J. Please stand up. Please stand up. And so this is my introduction to how I perceive Ken.

[A]

It's a big wind up. I think I know where you're headed, though.

[B]

No, I. I don't.

[A]

What about California?

[B]

I don't know if I understand it, but he sounds like an auctioneer. I mean, I'm not. I'm saying mama said knock you out. And all I got, I couldn't get a.

[A]

You couldn't decipher.

[B]

Now, I don't know. I like mama said knock you out.

[A]

Well, catchy, hooky. I mean, I think one song in there I sort of knew, but I will say I didn't know them all. Fine, Matt. That show's not for me. Fine. And I like the GNX because I have a Grand National. Remember, I had one for a long time.

[B]

I just want to understand it and I want the commenters to help me. I'm not shed hang on it. I'm just saying I don't quite get it. And the early hip hop rap was very, very clear to me and I just trying to understand it. Also the whole dis song about Drake, I've heard Drake stuff. I really like it. But that's.

[A]

I agree that I. Listen, if a song is about you're in a fight with someone or you're mad at someone, is that really the most peaceful, fun super bowl, bring us all together song? Or is it like, hey, fuck you to some guy and everyone's like, hey, I know what he's talking about. Fine. Also great visually. I didn't. I got a little snoozy in the middle, but great visually as far as all the outfits, the dancing. And you need that element. You definitely need that.

[B]

I think I give Kendrick KL an A plus for, for the aesthetic, the dancing. And I did watch. I read an article in the New York Times and it broke down all his visual elements. In other words, they used to call them MTV videos and they are sort of brilliant. The visual is brilliant. But, you know, I'm, I'm gonna, It's growing on me already the more I do it. But, you know.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, there was a lot to that super bowl also. Well, the whole thing. You watched it. Chiefs got smoked. Oh, how about this? The Kanye commercial that he paid for 7 million for that bookie little commercial, his iPhone, which he's done that move before, which is pretty funny. Paid 7 million films, his iPhones. I have no money left. Here's my grills. Go to my website. Fine. Ends it with going, wasting time. But what I didn't know you go to the website. What is it? Dana.

[B]

Yeezy.Com or yeez.com?

[A]

You go there, it's one item t shirt with a swastika.

[B]

I saw that.

[A]

So listen, we all have different merch.

[B]

I'm listening. We all have different merch.

[A]

It's very interesting merch. Oh, Shopify. How long does it take to take that down? How long do you have to be told? Maybe this isn't. Is it a joke? Is it what? I mean, he's controversial, but at a certain point it's just beyond controversy where people just go, hey, come on now. What, what are you doing?

[B]

What do you.

[A]

And are those checks clearing for 7 million? But I guess so, but.

[B]

Well, as far as stealing focus. Like, I put the bookends, he was there with his teeth and I, I, I couldn't really talk. You know, this is my new girls. And you know, I, I again, this is all I could do. On an iPhone, you know, because I paid so much for the commercial. $8 million. So it's kind of brilliant. And then the bookend to that is Bill Murray on. Hey, you know, you might want to get another beer. But meantime, you know, Bill murray but yahoo.com. and I don't know what product that was for unless it was for Yahoo.

[A]

I think it was for Yahoo. Oh, I didn't even see that one. But I knew he did something, I thought for Yahoo. Also. Kanye's wife. Girlfriend. Wife.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Her family.

[B]

Lovely person.

[A]

Lovely gal, as my mom would say. Lovely gal. Such a. Now she. She keeps defending herself and her family, who's going, hey, hey, I'm not. I'm here by my own free will. I'm not like kidnapped. And then I want to say to her, maybe don't say that yet. Let's see how things go. Because you're not even going to get a job at Lady Footlocker after this. I mean, it's very hard when this is all on your resume to go, oh, you should have that in your back pocket. He made me do all that. I'm the greatest person in the world. I wouldn't be any part of that. Because he's saying things, causing disruptions where you want to go. Maybe I was brainwashed. Let me. Let's just say that because it gets you out of it. It's your one free pass.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah. That relationship, you know, my blink is not really equal. It looks like one person in the relationship is more dominant than the other. I'll leave the. The listeners to viewers to figure out.

[A]

Which one Cupid really got those two. I have to say, it's a.

[B]

It's a click friendly world if you really. I just thought, yeah.

[A]

Kids in love.

[B]

Two kids in love. Let's. Let's leave it.

[A]

It's a story you've seen a million times. Those two.

[B]

I just would like to.

[A]

It's a Hallmark movie.

[B]

It is. It's. Look, I can say they're. They're an adorable couple and no one can say they're not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You remember this song? Frankie Valli, 1983. No one knows what goes on.

[A]

Who's on Behind Closed Doors?

[B]

Charlie Rich or Charlie Rich. Right. I don't know where I put a.

[A]

Bookmark guy in there when work it Behind Closed Door.

[B]

It's a little cryptic, isn't it? I mean, that would be good for like the serial killer.

[A]

No one knows what goes on behind close.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So maybe they're just a cute they're playing Scrabble every night. I don't know. Maybe it's all an act. It's got to be partially an act.

[B]

Hey, would you like some cocoa? Sure, babe. See through thong while you.

[A]

What's on tubi?

[B]

I wish I was at a Kansas City Chiefs super party. I mean, everyone's got jerseys on Mahomes. They've got beers floor.

[A]

We got this.

[B]

Whoa, Chiefs 34 zip.

[A]

They said there's an after party for 11,000 people. And I saw today a DJ was like, might as well be going.

[B]

People.

[A]

Because there was no one.

[B]

Magic marker. They had a Mahone's jersey on and just crossed it off. I mean, fair weather fans. Jesus.

[A]

Yeah, I don't. I don't have any big hot takes. The Super Bowl. I didn't even see all the commercials because you want to talk during the commercial and then you're like, when do I talk during the Super Bowl? I want to watch the game. I'm not allowed to talk to the commercials. I'm not allowed to talk to. So yeah, it's a real you. It's a real.

[B]

It was conundrum. Mind boggling. Glad happy for the Eagles. Their defensive line is extraordinary. Jalen Hurts has always been underrated. I'll do some X and O's here.

[A]

Yeah, give us.

[B]

Our producer said before we came on, you know, Jason. Kelsey, is it?

[A]

Sorry, Travis.

[B]

Travis, I'm sorry.

[A]

Do you have his shimmery shirt?

[B]

No.

[A]

Pull it up if you see it. It's the classic situation you don't want. He's dolled up to go into the party, which is a Super bowl, which used to be the guys were just like, hey, we come in sweats.

[B]

We get ready for the game.

[A]

Now it's a full New York fashion week. They walk in, they all have purses, they all have hats and stuff.

[B]

I know. Yellow mustard socks with little copper shoes.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Lots of buttons and collars.

[A]

You walk in like Mary Poppins and then they go, okay, Cam Newton was good. As good looking dude has. Fine. It makes people think when you don't win. You put too much time into that. Because afterwards, poor Kelsey walking out with his shimmery shirt. One's like, I mean, he looks super.

[B]

Cool, that Clark on the bench. Clark Gable. Harry a little coming down.

[A]

Oh, he's a.

[B]

But then they didn't publicize it. We went over and sat next to Taylor and he goes, hey.

[A]

Stands during the game.

[B]

And they didn't even notice the game when they lost. And she scooched over. She actually Moved over.

[A]

I mean, does she pick outfits? Because I don't know. I couldn't pick all this shit.

[B]

I think that guy could retire from football and become another action hero.

[A]

This guy's life was already all green lights. There was no. There was no bumps. It's. He's great looking. He's tall. That's all anyone cares about. And he's a football player and he's.

[B]

Rich, so there's just. And actually, he's.

[A]

Yeah, he's.

[B]

He's.

[A]

Jason is the retired.

[B]

Funny and charismatic. He's good in commercials. Jason Kelsey. He retires.

[A]

He was the one on here last.

[B]

Year, and they win the super bowl, so.

[A]

Yeah, and then he retires. But he has to go root for the Eagles and against his brother. Sort of, right?

[B]

Sort of. But, I mean, he would have got a ring, missed it by 12 months. But that guy.

[A]

But he got 34 commercials out of it, so he's doing all right.

[B]

Those Kelsey brothers, they're. They're an ecosystem now. And his wife and. I mean, it's just. They're everywhere all at once.

[A]

Like, I thought the mom had a cooking show. Was that just a rumor we started?

[B]

No, the mom has a cooking show. The entire extended family. It's. It's really cool to see an empire built from the ground up.

[A]

It's. They're the new Kardashians. So. Huel, Dana. That's. This is Hu.

[B]

Hu. Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So listen, this is good because I. I'm always running around.

[B]

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[A]

I'm very active. But I sometimes take this with me on the road because when I'm in the car, I have crumpled up protein. But I just have different kinds of food. But this is easy. I slug it or I sip it and it lasts me a long time, actually, because if you're going in somewhere and you're like, oh, I haven't eaten anything because I.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I always have to have some food. And so, boom, boom, I do this. I don't even do the whole thing. I can split this up and do like another time later. But I actually refrigerate it. I like it better but it keeps me going. Dude, I'm good. I'm. I'm good with it. You know, it's affordable, high protein meal, less than $5, budget friendly. It's got so many grams of protein you don't even understand this many grams. 35. Whoa.

[B]

35 grams of protein. And how many vitamins?

[A]

27.

[B]

No 27 vitamins. How many minerals?

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

We always joke about artists. My brother's into art. My brother Banana was bad enough.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Italian artist sells invisible sculpture for 18,000. Now it's getting too. It's getting too much. It's too much.

[B]

Well, or not enough. I. I don't know.

[A]

That's one way to look at it.

[B]

I think. I told this story, but I dropped shrooms in the early 80s and went to the LA County Art Museum, my friends and I. And it was like a cam. Just a 40 foot white canvas with one red dot in the middle. And we, we had to go out in the stairwell. We laughed so hard, we couldn't even.

[A]

I mean, this stuff is. This is a 18,000. Where do you feel like. I'm not paying 20 for invisible nothing. 20 is my, my top. That's my ceiling.

[B]

Well, here's our experiment. We're going to book you at a big theater. You know, you sell. Tend to sell tickets. Big theater with the mic there, ladies and gentlemen, David Spade is going to stay backstage for an hour. Enjoy the show.

[A]

We can call it Not David Spade and then it's just a mic stand and not me. Triple the ticket price. Triple.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it is better to not hear me talk. In all honesty.

[B]

Well, it's just fake art.

[A]

Oh, this is this, this just in. Okay, here's Travis leaving.

[B]

Oh, here we go.

[A]

Look, no one's around. He's like, God, why didn't I just bring a flannel shirt? Yeah, it's. I get it.

[B]

It's just life, you know, the high and the low, you know, just.

[A]

But the biggest game and this, it. That's the. Must be the hardest thing. No matter how good things are going to take. It's like the gambling in Vegas. It's fun to win, but losing makes you feel so much worse. It's so. It's lower than the high is.

[B]

I liked what Tom Brady said and I thought he did a great job announcing. So I like his announcing. He's very, very bright. But at the end, he said he was in 10 Super Bowls. He doesn't remember the seven that he won. And there's still Super Bowl. I don't know which one or all three that he lost. He still isn't over it.

[A]

Not.

[B]

Mears thinks about it.

[A]

It's you with the Paul McCartney interview.

[B]

Look, you don't have that kind of brain. You're, like, pretty good. I just cry myself.

[A]

No.

[B]

Why did I interrupt? Why am I interrupting now? Why won't I shut up? Why did I have coffee before I came on this show? The David Spade show?

[A]

Oh, why? Because I made fun of that Paul McCarty. You always say that.

[B]

No, no, I. And I'm kidding too. Kidding.

[A]

Well, Tom Brady had a big goofy watch on. And I have to say love. Tom Brady looks very thin, but the guy cannot look bad. Bless his heart. Just like Travis cannot take a bad picture and. But he had this. This not. I'm not gonna say goofy watch. Not my taste. Super blingy. And then it was like orange. Yeah, that feels like not his style. Yeah, look at how huge and orange and diamonds and. I mean, he's so effing rich. Like, we got it. I like that Daytona to the right or whatever that one is called. That just the Rolex. I just don't like anything super showy. And that looks like a swatch.

[B]

Is it possible it was $750,000? That's what I read when I went over the morning's newspapers.

[A]

Every time I read it, it's higher. But that doesn't even shock me. If he's worth 200 million, it doesn't blow me away that it's that much.

[B]

Is it okay to say that maybe I'm a Buddhist monk in a previous Buddhist monk life? I don't really like or want things. I stole this jacket. As you know, this is a G T shirt.

[A]

I stole.

[B]

I stole this jacket and I stole it. I have a $10 Casio watch. It's in the drawer.

[A]

Listen, not about material.

[B]

Everything you own owns you back. News flash, David.

[A]

This swe. This. Yeah, I. I have a lot of quarter zips. You know what that means? This.

[B]

I see it. Yeah.

[A]

And not embarrassed. Okay.

[B]

You're in closets the size of a Macy's department store.

[A]

You know, I know some famous person and I won't say who it was a famous couple. And their house is so big. They had a party and went in the closet. And then they said, oh, and here's how they get their clothes button. Like the laundromat.

[B]

Like a laundromat.

[A]

Yeah. Like when you get your dry cleaning goes up around, all their clothes come down. They take it off the hook. They're all numbered. Crazy. I was like, you're so rich. If I had your money, I'd throw mine away. This is ridiculous.

[B]

Does they wrap it in plastic and say, we can find. Come Back later.

[A]

What? Can't get stain out.

[B]

You need to have a ticket.

[A]

No, we can't get too much heat on it. Yeah, it melt.

[B]

You need to get.

[A]

So that was them being rich. All right, next story. Look, we're really moving.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Why do we need to move? I don't know. I. By the way, I'll tell everyone before I get to the sickening story. I was on Busboys all day one. Nate Diaz was late today, so that's what bumped us back. And what do you say to these UFC guys? He's the most badass guy. And I'm like, texting Theo in his trailer going, theo, you better rip him a new. When he walks in. You're a producer. Put on your producer hat and go to town. Let just teach him a lesson in front of everyone. Read him the riot act. And he did not. Neither did I. But then Nate had to push me around in this scene, and he kept elbowing me, and I'm like, huh? Your hand. Okay. You ever hit anybody this hard? Can't hurt steel. I kept saying stuff like that, and he's just like. Because obviously I'm a 1000%. But wait a minute.

[B]

So you were on Busboys today.

[A]

Yeah. And you're down here, just got wrapped. Right.

[B]

And you got manhandled.

[A]

Yes. Nate Diaz. Yeah.

[B]

Who's.

[A]

Who's a super badass. Very nice dude. He was on yesterday too.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Bobby Lee was in yesterday. We had a crack up yesterday. We had a lot of people, and it was pretty fun.

[B]

God, this thing. I'm smelling a hit.

[A]

It's fun.

[B]

I don't want to jinx it.

[A]

You're gonna laugh. I'm gonna show you some clips. Next time I see you.

[B]

Let's show the audience clips.

[A]

No, let's talk about. It's raining spiders. This is my on, maybe worst nightmare.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Spiders are falling from the sky in Brazil. Spiderocalypse. Everything's apocalypse. Everything's mageddon. Spidergeddonmageddon Apocalypse. Is it not, like, shocking? Oh, then now they show it. Look.

[B]

Oh, sick. Oh, wow. Sick.

[A]

Dana, what would you do?

[B]

I would look.

[A]

I would protect you.

[B]

I take out my phone.

[A]

I would take out. You know, I would just shoot my shotgun straight up.

[B]

They're riding the jet streamers. Spiders can't really fly.

[A]

I think they have all these. All these what you call webs, you.

[B]

Know, so they all across all these.

[A]

Trees, and they get on them all, and then they're just. That you look above, and then they, like, all just drop or Something.

[B]

But they jump and they're. They're going to hit the ground eventually. They can't fly. They can't gain altitude.

[A]

Well, you're kind of ruining the story, but.

[B]

Yeah, well, you know, they're called spy birds, and they're half bird, half spider.

[A]

Here's my next story. Spiders are driving all over Brazil and hitting people, their cars. You're like, they can't drive. They can land on your car. They can crawl on it. Well, these spiders are. I don't even care if they're poisonous. I can't take it. It's too scary.

[B]

I don't like anything coming from the sky at me. And masks, spiders, ants, comedians who just did an open mic, just flying through the sky, hundreds of them.

[A]

Do my podcast.

[B]

Oh, you gotta hear my super bowl chunk.

[A]

No, look at my YouTube clip.

[B]

I can do crowd work, too. I say, where are you from? Then I tear him apart.

[A]

I don't know what I'm gonna say, but I kind of do.

[B]

I pretend that something I've said a thousand times is fresh. Don't hate me for it.

[A]

I say, are you on a date? I already know what I'm gonna say. No matter what their answer is, I'm gonna. This is them still coming at you.

[B]

I'm gonna reinsert the premise so people understand. We're doing spiders were flying the sky. Now we're saying comedians from open mics are flying toward the ground.

[A]

Touring toward you in the parking lot or the green room.

[B]

Two nuts walk into a bar. I don't give a. That's my best bit.

[A]

Can you get me six tickets to snl?

[B]

I don't know why I'm talking like this. Just because.

[A]

They're not even for me. They're for my friend.

[B]

Is this on? Is this on? Hey. All right.

[A]

Hey, do you mind if we flip flop? I got another spot at the Laugh Fact.

[B]

Cut to our clip editor.

[A]

He just quit. Okay, next story. You heard about Nate Diaz, you hear.

[B]

About spiders, and now.

[A]

Oh, this is. Okay, just play it. There's a guy narrating, but I just want to play it because, you know, things get stuck in the sewer. Is it a baby? Is it a deer? Is it a person? Heather.

[B]

Okay, chainsaw or bolt? Okay, bolt.

[A]

Heather, you're cheating. I know you're cheating. What are my choices?

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Is it a bird?

[B]

Dog? Cat?

[A]

No, it's a rat. No. Look at Heather. Freaking.

[B]

What the freak is it?

[A]

That's a New York rat.

[B]

That's a rat. A 20 pound rat. Oh, man, I Thought. This is the most nauseous I've been on this.

[A]

The most nauseous.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You can turn that guy down.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Remember that. That song, Ben, There's a movie about a huge rat.

[B]

Well, what is. What's a guinea pig or what? What's the thing that looks like a rat?

[A]

Chupacabra.

[B]

No. One time, my house in Encino, and there's this noise outside. I opened the door and I thought. I sound like. I thought I saw a 40 pound rat. And I think it was some other thing that looks like a rat.

[A]

You know, I'm all for, like, rat traps and I'm. But if you have to wrestle a rat that's too big, you can't wrestle them.

[B]

If you can saddle up a rat that's too big a rat. If you can saddle it up and ride it around a county fair, if.

[A]

Your rat has a saddle, it might be too big to be a rat.

[B]

If a camel looks at your rat and goes, whoa, that's a big one. You might have a large rat on your hands.

[A]

If your rat is so big it has an iPhone, you might be with a rat that's too big.

[B]

If your rat is so big that it demands you pay your rent on the first of the month, that's too big a rat.

[A]

If you're driving with a rat in your car and you can legally use the carpool lane, it's too big.

[B]

If you're. You see a creature and its little paws go up and I go, I know I'm too large for my species, that might be a big rat.

[A]

If a rat can beat you in arm wrestling, if you play trouble with.

[B]

An entity that looks like a rat that spells out rat hole and gets offended by its own word score.

[A]

That's what it wrote in Scrabble, rat hole.

[B]

And it was mad at its own word score. But that's a triple score. Scrabble. Your new nickname.

[A]

That'll get me out of it. I'm looking for names for my tour, but I'm almost there.

[B]

I have one. Didn't I have one?

[A]

Did you have a good one for the tour? Yeah. We can't call it Pipsqueak Life. We're not doing that. Oh, if that's your idea. Nope.

[B]

Humans are fantastic. No, thank you.

[A]

Tom Segura has a good one. It's called. It's a world tour. It says, I'm coming all over.

[B]

But that was Howard Stern's book, right? Coming all over to you. Didn't Howard sperm do that? Look it up. Heather or Greg. Howard Stern book.

[A]

I think his was called Miss New Yorkers. Miss America was one of them.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Well, I thought of a couple. Howard Stern comes again.

[B]

Howard Stern.

[A]

Howard Stern comes again.

[B]

So David Spade comes again.

[A]

No, I think comes all over is better for a world tour. I'm wearing a hat now. Fuck it. Fuck off. I can't take it. I can't take it because my forehead is so blind with this.

[B]

We have to look at it.

[A]

I look at you on this side of the zoom, and so people are like, look straight in the camera. I'm like, I wish we could flip flop it where you're on this. You know what? I'm going to put the camera over here next time. Oh, this. This is after 5 million shows. I think we already put it lower.

[B]

Camera.

[A]

Yeah. Instead, here's me looking at the camera. Here's me looking at Dana.

[B]

I'll tell you something that's very charismatic. I saw a guy do it. You know these people who listen to music and then listen to it and tell you if they like it or.

[A]

Like their first song, they for the first time.

[B]

British guy. So, like this, he's putting on Day in the Life. And he's looking over here like he's listening. I'm looking to the right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then he would do this. He would go, you know, he's ripping. You see what I'm doing?

[A]

What is he looking at?

[B]

Well, he's looking at something Countdown. He's looking like this. And then he would share it with us.

[A]

Like, I read the news.

[B]

Let's go back. And I. Oh, and I thought, man.

[A]

Like, he likes that part.

[B]

It was charismatic. Do it for me so I can see it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Look away and then look right at the camera.

[A]

I heard the news today. Oh, boy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that's the lucky man who made the grave. Heather has seen it. She's laughing.

[A]

No, by the way, it's the easiest thing in the world. You have a cook watching a guy cook. And he goes, okay. He's putting the pan down. Well, okay. This guy's doing this a lot. I wouldn't like. I wouldn't do that playing.

[B]

They're playing I'm a Walrus. And like, I like that song, you know, I'd never heard before.

[A]

Yeah, they show. They play rap for people. They play great songs from history. And you get to hear. They have a music coach. I don't mind those.

[B]

There's. There are a lot of beetle. It's easy listening to the Beatles for the first time.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And then they're like, I gotta say, man, these Beatles are wild.

[A]

You know, we were talking about O darling the other day and O darlin. They said, paul. Someone saw Paul before the show and said, do you do oh Darling? And he said, it's. It's probably the hardest one on my voice. I'm thinking, wow, we should have asked him that. If it's true.

[B]

We.

[A]

But why is it. Is it when he goes, I'll never make it alone.

[B]

He wrote it. Lennon want. Thought he could have sang it better because Lennon had. That is Paul recorded it like five times.

[A]

They'd already had on his own and brought it in.

[B]

And then I already did it on the last time. Came in and shredded his voice like he's never done before or since. So that is his.

[A]

When I tell you who it goes. Hi. I can't do it. Oh, no, please. So hot.

[B]

Me. Yeah. So that was.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Side one.

[A]

We should ask him next time. He'll never do it again. Let's ask him. Who decides who sings what? Do we ask?

[B]

No, I mean usually the songwriter sings it and if there's. It's a co written song early in the days, like you go. They do Day trip. Got a good reason. And then John will go digging the easy way out. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Classic back Taking the knees away. Yeah. She was.

[A]

I forgot about Day Tripper.

[B]

No. There's too many songs.

[A]

It's unreal. I'm with you. It's unreal.

[B]

They too much. Too much Genius. Itis.

[A]

It's a. I was hung up on I'm looking through you. I was going to ask him. That's the only song where he sounds like he's talking condescending to someone. You remember. It's the only time he's got.

[B]

Always about Jane Asher, I think. Or a girlfriend. I'm looking through you where have you been? It's a tone chopper.

[A]

You know, he grew up like he says she was too good for him. And now look at me. How I'm doing something like that. I'm looking through you and you don't know where.

[B]

Yeah. Paul just. Yeah.

[A]

If you listen to the song, it's.

[B]

It's hard to ask Paul McCarthy even now, even if he was on right now.

[A]

If we see him at snl, what are we going to say? Yeah.

[B]

Ask him a question that he hasn't been asked. But I do. I. The only reason I had podcast regret, which I've said before, is I realize when you interview anyone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not even Paul McCartney, they cannot toot their own horn or pound their chest. But if you introduce something that's brilliant, then they can talk about it. So.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, moving on. What's the next one we're educating today? No, we are. Oh, this is Mexican squid games. Would you do this game, Dana? It's a. Yeah. Okay. It's a bull ring. People are lined up. I think the trick is when it. When it gets. You lay down flatter and it runs over you.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

This is a real contest. Got lawsuit written all over safe. Is it safe? No.

[B]

Well, why aren't they getting killed every day?

[A]

I. Because if they get the other side, they get like a 100 bucks or something. Oh, it says winning team gets 24 cans of co joke. You can turn it down. But it's the squid games music. So they all crawl like the centipede.

[B]

Flat in an arena and. And a bull is running over the top of them. But they're not all getting killed. They're.

[A]

They're in an arena trying to cross the other side of the arena. The bull is just loose. Which would never happen in America because regulations. Yeah, litigious. So this bull goes around, just starts wailing on people and they go flat when it comes by. That's their trick. It does not always work. It's not a perfect science. And I think we watched it too short because I think someone gets bumped.

[B]

I'll just say this. The non regulated society is interesting. I was doing a gig in Acapulco and I was out on my veranda looking down on the beach and I see like a maybe five, six year old walking up to a guy, talking, talking, talking. He buys some cigarettes, lights a cigarette. The guy gives him a boost. He's barebox, bareback on a stallion, a horse, five years of age, smoking a cigarette, just going down the beach. I'm like, yeah, what the. It can be cool. The safety helmet.

[A]

Well, the old days, you know, we didn't wear helmets for sure on our bikes.

[B]

Nope. I'm sure I had a few concussions.

[A]

I could do a wheelie for a quarter mile. I don't like to talk about that. I know Paul McCarney doesn't beat his own.

[B]

That means you did something to the chain. If you're popping your stingray and it's really.

[A]

You wish you just did it with.

[B]

A store bought Sears Bronco.

[A]

Just with pure carry Underwood quad muscles that I have. And I was just like. Once I got up, I could balance it and be like, oh my God. Oh my God. I kept going. I'M like, oh, my God, everyone's freaking out.

[B]

Did anyone witness this or is this a figment? Your spade omation? You probably went five feet. Let's be honest.

[A]

This is another one of my little fibs, but I think I did do that. I would skip no footage to cut to. You could skateboard, you said.

[B]

And I would go down a hill. The long, long hill. Zigzag down. I wouldn't do it now. I was. Well, look, I mean a steep, long hill without. On a. On a board with no helmet or.

[A]

Safe called a Guinness Book. You know what's funny about the Guinness Book World Records? It's now the Guinness website or something. I mean, book. Book sounded better.

[B]

Would you if you tried to qualify for something of the world's world.

[A]

I thought of this the other day. What would I thought of this the other day? Because it was like. It was. I swear I saw something odd. Maybe it's today, but I saw something odd like guy gets bit in the nuts by a cobra 60 times in an hour. And I was like, that's a Guinness World. This cannot be a world record. This cannot be anything that anyone's trying to do. But if you pick a weird one, you can win.

[B]

Well, what did Mr. Beast. Didn't he at one point just repeat someone's name for 24 hours? I don't know.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Kelsey Grammer. Kelsey Grammer.

[A]

Kelsey, he's rich enough. Maybe you should do that.

[B]

Kind of a genius. Could we get him on here and just have a.

[A]

We should get Mr. Beast on. Anyway. Let's try to. Well, I'm gonna ask my guy tomorrow because one of my buddies knows him. Let's try to. There's a couple people I wanted to get on.

[B]

Yeah, we'll pair him with a Beastie Boy. You know, just because the symmetry of that. That's kind of funny, right? Yeah.

[A]

All right, next one. What is she. This is a podcast. A girl's about to say something. I don't know what.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So I really insane Elvis Presley theory. I'm going to kind of break it all down.

[A]

Let's just Hear it.

[C]

In 1977.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Never wanted to release the public evidence of his death. All the details he got speculation. We thought maybe it was too many.

[A]

They're showing.

[C]

We thought maybe he was being over his family in the year 2027 will release those. 2027. 2020.

[A]

Good reaction.

[C]

50 years.

[A]

I liked her reaction. Whoa. This is a good one too.

[C]

There's a man named Jesse and he claims that he is Elvis Presley. He's been claiming he's Elvis Presley for quite some time.

[A]

I have a few of these on my. On my street.

[C]

Mental institute. Well, yeah, but. So there's a doctor that worked in this hospital, Jesse, and during his time there, he was like, I just feel this weird skeptical gut feeling about this guy Jesse, who's claiming that he's Elvis. So let's do a DNA test and.

[A]

Let'S see what we find.

[C]

Guess what they found.

[B]

What?

[C]

Jesse's DNA was the exact match of Elvis's DNA.

[A]

What?

[C]

Same DNA.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Jesse's DNA matches the doctor's. Like, this is really weird. Let's do something further.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

There's a book, it says a match with Jesse's. What do you know? It's a match. So this mental patient. Mental institute patient, yes.

[A]

This is the same DNA. And the parents.

[C]

Also Elvis's parents. Okay, so obviously people are thinking maybe this is Elvis was born as a twin.

[B]

But anyone can hold a phone up.

[A]

And go, okay, that's it.

[B]

What happened? What happened?

[A]

He had a twin brother. They showed proof. They showed a book.

[B]

I used to do this bit and I'll just do a little bit of it. Flight of Fancy.

[A]

You don't sound like you believe it.

[B]

I just had a flight of fancy of people who passed that are in a bunker beneath Las Vegas. And it would. Bobby and Jack Kennedy, Elvis and Hitler. And they're all in there and they faked their death and they're going to take over the world. So they're just hanging out for decades in there. Elvis, would you tell Adolf to stop staring at me? Come on, Elvis. I mean, come on, Hitler. I'm Elvis.

[A]

You know.

[B]

You know, Bobby don't like it when you stare at him. I. I believe that Adolf Hitler doesn't know what he's doing. I don't know what he's saying.

[A]

Okay, okay. I'm the movie executive. Okay. Could one of them not be Hitler? But this is the exact same situation. Maybe it could be Marilyn Monroe or something.

[B]

This is my pitch right back. The funny part is I'm. I'm going to put on a dress and go Shaft over. You want to come with me, Jack? Yes, I will go with you. They're in Las Vegas in a bunker. I will stay here and teach. Teach Adolf English. Adolf, repeat after me. See? Shoust. Spot, run. Right. Oh, look, Bobby. Yeah, he doesn't have one more English in there. He just. It's just gibberish. No, he can do better. Adolf, repeat after me. See? Spot. So what do you think? I got a movie deal.

[A]

Well, I don't get that one. Once he can't talk at all. He just makes noises. Right?

[B]

Well, because then. Well, I'm rushing it. It's a 20 minute bit for my Elvis is like, you know, Bobby, we've been in here, faked our death, been in here 40 years and here don't. He don't understand hiding her tailor English. Oh yeah, Elvis. You're wrong. He does. Oh, watch this. Hey, a. A bird flew into a cave. Repeat after me, Adolf. A bird flew into a cave. Great fun. Come on, Bobby. He's not speaking a word. I believe that Bobby is making progress. I don't think he's doing it because he easy. He does it because he's odd.

[A]

All right, I'm in. Okay, we'll take it.

[B]

Try to support you.

[A]

We'll shoot in Vegas.

[B]

I will do a longer bit. Last time.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

Oh, it's shaft elevator. And it goes on and on.

[A]

Yeah. All right, next one. We'll come back to it. Okay. So, Dana, you have a hundred businesses going and I am busy.

[B]

Good lord. Yeah.

[A]

Ship Station is one of our sponsors. You know that's right. We'll help fix that.

[B]

I mean, I'm exhausted after the holidays. It's just the chaos of managing all this mailing I have to do and shipping I have to do.

[A]

Mm, you need a little help? ShipStation comes in. Save hours and money every month by shipping from all your stores with one login, automating repetitive tasks and finding the best rates among all the global carriers.

[B]

Yes, and I heard you can focus on other parts of your business because you never have to worry about shipping and fulfillment. Again with Ship Station.

[A]

Listen, some of these places, they have so much going on, they don't have time, they don't have enough employees. You get some help here, it's chaotic. You get. You automate shipping tasks, manage orders with one simple dashboard. You didn't know that that's smoothly print shipping labels, click of a button. That's important. You don't think it is.

[B]

Let me ask you a question.

[A]

Yeah.

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[A]

Hotel, we know all about LinkedIn.

[B]

Oh we know.

[A]

I know LinkedIn. It's a very well known brand. I think that's one of the few that you just say and people know you know. And as a small business owner, you don't always have the luxury of clocking out early. It's very busy. You know your business is on your mind all day, all night. When you're hiring, you need a partner that grinds as hard as you do. And the hiring partner is LinkedIn jobs for when you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in. LinkedIn makes it easy to post your jobs for free, share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place. You know this is exactly what you need because you want it easy. No one in a small business has time. They're Always busy. There's always something else to do. So you get these, this team on your side and they're working for you. They do their job well. You know, they got. Even got a new feature where they can help you write job descriptions. And they get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights.

[B]

That's also true. You either post your job for free or pay to promote promoted jobs. Get three times more qualified applicants.

[A]

Get qualified candidates. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is that quality of candidates. And with LinkedIn, you can feel confident that you're getting the best. You know, you can let your network know you're hiring. You can even add a hiring frame to your profile picture, hashtag hiring. And then it gets two times more qualified candidates. They got all the tricks.

[B]

Yeah. Find out why more than 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring today. Find your next great hire on LinkedIn.

[A]

Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com candidates that's LinkedIn.com candidates to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Okay, look at this story. Okay, don't read the comments. Just. Just listen to the story. So a guy's pitching to his kid, an older guy.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

The dad throwing his son some wholesome BP went viral this week. And this 17U travel ball team Twitter account felt the need to chime in with some constructive criticism, which provoked Ryan Murphy to ask the question, you for real? Which is a great question, Ryan. The Evansville baseball program apparently had time that day and they doubled down. A thoughtful critique for youth baseball players. Maybe the only issue is that the guy in the video is Mike Trout. Who saw that one coming. I love a good twist ending. Trout himself even got in on the fun, throwing a few emojis on the thread. I love Mike Trouts. Most used emojis are.

[A]

So the dad's throwing his Mike Trout pitches and a guy sees the video and goes, I'm a local high school coach and I'll show you what's wrong with this kid's swing. And then he wrote it out on Twitter and they wrote back, we're all good over here. And he goes, listen, I'm just giving you some friendly advice. The guy needs to lean back a little more. This guy's going to be a. Huh, Big hitter. And they go, it's Mike Trout. And he goes, oh, Mike Trout's one of the biggest stars in the history of. Well, listen, it goes too fast. That was too fast. These are bombing. This could be our Comeback bit. I don't think it will be. It might be easier to understand. This is just. There's a mannequin challenge. Now. He tried to act like you don't move, you know, you don't bend. We can do it.

[B]

So you look like. Try to look like a mannequin. Okay.

[A]

Next time we're at Chili's. That's kind of good, right?

[B]

Not. Not too bad.

[A]

That, that shirt is the one Farley worn at the beginning of Tommy Boy. That he.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that looks like it. Okay, these are human beings with entirely too much time on their hands.

[A]

What else is on TikTok?

[B]

They've been at the park. How about we pretend we're mannequins? I love you, Charlie.

[A]

It's like girls going, get ready with me. And they put on makeup and tell a 90 minute story. And you're like, I feel like you're getting ready for not going out. I feel like this was to get ready to do this. And then you didn't really go anywhere at the end. Maybe these are. This is a theory.

[B]

This. It's just the. The clicks and the views will do anything. Look at us.

[A]

We're the worst, most desperate idiots out there. Okay, let's do one more. We gotta end on a goddamn high notes.

[B]

Come on, you gotta get back.

[A]

We gotta end.

[B]

Gotta get back to the set.

[A]

Let me see if this one's any. I know they're gonna suck. I could just tell. I don't know if we should risk it with this one. What do you think? Does it look funny yet? Harvard University welcomes the 22 year old Magnus Carlsen from Norway. And you're gonna all say this is fake? Everyone says everything's fake. Today. Magnus plays blindfolded chess. And not only that, I used to play chess against 10 of the best. He plays 10 people must remember the position of 300. It sounds impossible while calculating 10 moves and counter moves. If it's fake, he has a lot of extras. At least he put some work. Knight to bishop's pawn.

[B]

Well, how does he know? Rook?

[A]

They tell him they're moving and he smokes him. I think he's, you know, he's not doing any celebration dances. What is that? Handkerchief made one of the best players in the world. I mean, even if they're just 10 that are shitty, I'm impressed. Look at them. I don't care. And then he writes it all down. Someone else gets an autograph. I get the whole match.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

He goes, hey, let me sign this for you. Let me write out. You can turn. Let me. Let me write down every move I made today. He's like, rook to pawn four, bishop to.

[B]

Well, his latest one was that he has a guitar and he's. He's. He's playing Blackbird continually, over and over again. And they put a bowl on his head and a blindfold around it. And he. He's. And he's 10 miles away. He beat 50 guys just.

[A]

And they keep hitting it with a wooden spoon, all the bow hitting the bowl.

[B]

And then he has to tune the guitar night. The pal.

[A]

You know what happens? He sees these girls that are having sex with 100 guys at a cliff. And he's like, I have to do something like that. But chess wise, I'll play. I'll play 10 dudes and smoke them. So he did a good job. I think we end on that. That.

[B]

That was uplifting.

[A]

That was like a six, but it showed. There's some smart people out there.

[B]

Yeah, definitely.

[A]

And I got to drop in. Then I played chess. Okay. Dana, thanks for coming. If you could stick around during the commercial, I want to talk about some other stuff.

[B]

Yes. Remember busboys?

[A]

Bus boys coming February 2028. Soon. 2028. We'll be in post for the next six years. No, we're going to whip it out. We only got a week left, dude. We got a week and a half.

[B]

That's it. David Spade whips it out. That's your. That's your tour.

[A]

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Super Fly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.