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- [00:00]
A
You know, when I'm on the road, Dana, I'm always, I'm always pretty much staying in hotels. But there's been a shift to Airbnb and you hear about it all the time.
- [00:09]
B
Hotels are fine. There can be great. But Airbnb is a great alternative, you know, because you get a lot of choices of where you can stay. Oh yeah, very practical.
- [00:21]
A
I mean, hotel can be like, oh, like when I go on the road, I go, that one's the closest hotel is a half hour from the gig or something. But you say, oh, Airbnb. You just go, oh, I want to go a little closer. I want to be in this area. I want to swim, swimming pool and I want this.
- [00:34]
B
Yes. And I famously have said many times a place we used to go, my wife and I, to get away and we stayed at some really nice hotels. But then we found this Airbnb, which we used I think three times. There's always spotless. The keys are outside in a little padlock and they used to have a bottle of wine and a note and you have a kitchen. And it was very, very nice. The benefits of Airbnb is that space, privacy, better locations compared to hotels. You get to pick how close you want to be to wherever you want to go.
- [01:06]
A
You're traveling with family, your friends, you're on your own. It's. It's great.
- [01:10]
B
From ADT comes Trusted Neighbor, the new standard in home access through the ADT app. Easily grant and automate event based or scheduled access for neighbors, friends and helpers.
- [01:23]
A
Notify trusted individuals of events like alarms or packages and set access windows for planned guests or even the dog walker. Without interrupting your day, visit ADT.com when every second counts, count on ADT requires ADT Complete Pro Monitoring Plan and compatible devices. Copyright 2025 ADT LLC. All rights reserved. Dana, wake up. This is the earliest you've ever done this.
- [01:48]
B
I'm up at 6, 6:15 every morning. But we're, we're, we're recording very early. This is farmers hours. I don't want to give it a time, but it's very early. You can see that we both have drinking problems. So yeah, we have sunglasses on because we haven't been able to go to our dermatologist and get that sort of sponge.
- [02:11]
A
Yeah.
- [02:11]
B
Vacuum thing they do for.
- [02:13]
A
I'll be doing it. Someone in the comments said you drink too much. You look so shitty on. I go, I don't barely drink at all. So it might be Mother Nature.
- [02:25]
B
Newspaper.
- [02:25]
A
Thanks for your commentary.
- [02:27]
B
If you drink heavy you're gonna get booze face, resting booze face. But if you drink light and hydrate, they'll never know. I'll tell you another thing. If you like processed carbohydrates. A lot of them. Like, a lot of them.
- [02:43]
A
Yeah.
- [02:44]
B
It's tough on the old epidural around the cranium. Okay, so.
- [02:49]
A
Hey, Dana, your epidermis is showing.
- [02:53]
B
Jesus. Doing AM things now? What is this, Good morning America now? Jesus.
- [02:58]
A
This is the cockadoodle do show. So what, we're doing this because we did already do Superfly Saturday in New York to give people a summary on this, this, this episode of the rehearsal, the blah, blah. But we didn't do the real show. So we're just doing a pickup, an intro, a few things about the live show, and we'll probably do it again next week. Right. Because there was too much going on.
- [03:25]
B
There was too much going on. We can only do it Saturday. And then I thought, well, how can we talk about the Sunday night, 50th on Saturday.
- [03:33]
A
Yeah.
- [03:34]
B
And David, I remember you. Your eyes got real big and you went blank. You're like, holy tomatoes.
- [03:38]
A
I didn't even put that together.
- [03:40]
B
You're like, we can't talk about what hasn't happened yet, but now it has happened. So I. I wasn't there. I had the flu. I was on the downside of it, but I still didn't have the oomph to travel. Wasn't recommended. So you went to represent our podcast. What do you got to say?
- [03:58]
A
The most questions I got about it. I'll just go through it. Aside from Where's Dana? Which we cleared up was. Which you did want to be there. And you would have fucking killed it. Of course. Was Ryan Reynolds and Blake being there a. Why were they there? They were there because I think they both hosted. If you've hosted, you are invited. You can come to any of those events, Correct?
- [04:24]
B
Yes. And of course, we all know this. Whatever. I don't do a deep dive on it, but there's some kind of legal action with some actor Baldinos. It sounds like some kind of pasta place. And, you know, I don't know what it is. I don't deep dive on it like you and Heather and Greg do, but our team. But you guys. But I thought it was kind of funny because it's been in all the newspapers. Yes. I'm from the 50s. All the newspapers. And when Ryan Reynolds said, what have you heard? Basically tongue in cheek about it was a good moment.
- [04:55]
A
That was funny. But it was Funny.
- [04:57]
B
They should go, they should go to Joe.
- [04:59]
A
They're like us, just whatever's going on, you try to make a joke about it, but now listen. So they show up. I think nothing of it. I don't really even put it all together. Why are they there? I'm like, oh, yeah, they host everyone there is a celebrity.
- [05:12]
B
Wherever you walk, it's 400 people. And they're celebrities or old billionaires. There was a lot of cadaver, walking cadavers, similar veterans cadavers.
- [05:23]
A
There was walking cadavers. There was one foot in the graves.
- [05:29]
B
Well, remember those? You'd see those old, old timey things. And the, it's 1935 and here these Civil War veterans are now marching down Times Square. These Gentlemen are now 119, but fought in the Civil War. And they're in wheelchairs. It's very sad and poignant, but you.
- [05:46]
A
Give them some applause.
- [05:47]
B
We had some seniors. I would have been a senior. I'm not. I'm busting myself too. Go ahead.
- [05:51]
A
Yeah, someone gave me a compliment. They said I got old fast. So I said, oh, I haven't, I mean, I got old. And the truth is I got old the normal way. But they just said, it just seems very rapid. I said, okay, thank you.
- [06:03]
B
I don't like when people haven't seen you a while and they get a scared look on their face. They don't say anything.
- [06:08]
A
They just go, they just go casually, holy shit.
- [06:10]
B
They just go, whoa. I like that other version of you.
- [06:16]
A
What happened? Okay, so Blake and Ryan, here's my theory, two theories about this whole thing that people have asked me. One, it was funny. Two, I think Taylor Swift did not come. She came last time to the 40th. But I think they're in a bit of a snit. I hate to use these words, but I think there's a little bit of minor friction possibly. I don't know for sure.
- [06:43]
B
Oh, yeah. I, I, I should insert this before you go any further. And I know it's going to come off like a non sequitur, but I watched the 50th with Taylor.
- [06:55]
A
Oh, my God.
- [06:57]
B
Yeah, I know. We're just friends, casual friends, and I don't really go public with it, but with you.
- [07:05]
A
Well, with Paul, I think maybe there was some something there. Also, there was some kerfuffle because I guess Scarlett was married to Ryan Reynolds. Scarlett Johansson. And she was all over the show.
- [07:18]
B
But not all over Ryan Reynolds.
- [07:20]
A
What a lovely human. She was so fun. She's a great snl like Borderline cast member. And she was not all over Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, I didn't put that together for the longest time, but no one actually gave a fat fuck. No one said anything. She wasn't weird. No one was weird about it. But I had read that and I'm like, this is always written by someone that wasn't there. But anyway, we were having fun. And here's a little nugget. You know Wally. I love that Wally. He always gets shout outs here. I told him that. He gets shout outs a lot. He's our cue card guy since day one, for decades.
- [07:53]
B
The best. The best. And it's. It's a sneakily, really difficult job. What he's timing those cards to the. To the actor.
- [08:01]
A
They're sneakily heavy. In a side note, when Tom Hanks gave a speech at the Lauren, like, toast.
- [08:08]
B
Oh, the toast to Lauren.
- [08:09]
A
The toast to Lord. Seth was funny. Tina was extremely funny. And then Tom Hanks got up and he goes, this is gonna be a long speech. So. And then he had Wally come out with the cue cards just in the middle of a bar and do the cue cards so he could read.
- [08:24]
B
It's a good joke.
- [08:24]
A
Yeah, that's a good bit. Okay, so Wally. Wally gets not tricked. But he goes on a radio station in Australia. You know, I don't know how many press events Wally's doing.
- [08:39]
B
The cue car guy goes on a radio station or something.
- [08:43]
A
It's hysterical. But you know how it's like he's so sweet, naive. They definitely want to get one answer from him. So at the very end they go, hey, by the way, what was with that Ryan Reynolds thing? Ah, just goes, did he just make that up? Or was that an ad lib or was it. And he said, oh, he had a different line in the script. And then he came up with that. And, well, that's got.
- [09:09]
B
That's sort of archetypal. It's a classic line. I guess we're gonna see it. Yeah, right.
- [09:13]
A
I mean, it's such a throwaway, but because the situation here's what I saw. Let's see, you're telling me that SNL's plan was not to have Ryan Reynolds poke fun at his wife's sh. Allegations, but it was essay sexual assault. Switch it up with a little improv.
- [09:27]
B
I 1000% believe that cue card Wally, who has been doing the cue card.
- [09:31]
A
For SNL for the past cue card on the Fifi Feminine show. And he actually spilled the tea.
- [09:38]
B
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively been in the news a lot. And Ryan Reynolds, we want to know.
- [09:42]
A
Was that an improv or was it scripted?
- [09:45]
B
His little piece?
- [09:46]
A
That was actually we. He had a different line in rehearsal.
- [09:50]
B
And he pitched that to replace it.
- [09:52]
A
So that was his idea to do it. He pitched. We wouldn't want to do anything unless they were in on it. Why? Yeah, that was his. That was his line. That was his.
- [10:02]
B
That was his idea to do it.
- [10:04]
A
Right. He said he wouldn't. We wouldn't want anyone to do something that they had. They weren't in on, which is true. We're not there to bamboozle a host. Or so he had to. He had to be aware.
- [10:15]
B
The classic why would have you heard when there's. It was perfect.
- [10:18]
A
Great.
- [10:19]
B
Right.
- [10:19]
A
And they didn't elaborate. They just did it.
- [10:21]
B
But when you're saying this, the Baldini Lively extravaganza kind of was all over the show. I texted Lauren afterwards, you know, wish I could have been there. And instead of talking about the show, he just says, baldini will now countersue. I think that Lively will probably get a new attorney. And I said, but, boy, that, that Tom Hanks was great. And what. What about that monologue with Steve? And he goes, I, I don't know where Ryan Reynolds is on this, but certainly it really.
- [10:55]
A
It was.
- [10:55]
B
It's big at that 50th, you know.
- [10:59]
A
Baldon's meatball shop is still open. But I will say, Baldino, we've said it wrong literally every single time we're adding.
- [11:10]
B
I, I would like. I'll say this right now if we're at. If he wants to come on and tell us.
- [11:16]
A
He can tell us anything.
- [11:17]
B
I would love that.
- [11:18]
A
We're the new Kiki Boo Boo and Pop Pop show in Australia.
- [11:22]
B
N going to put a shrimp on it. Babby Barbie.
- [11:27]
A
I would say that it's also, you know, look, being at the SNL thing and everyone sort of saying, hey, cool, Ryan Reynolds and Blake are here. It helps.
- [11:41]
B
Okay, enough of them now. I missed it. So what did I miss? What was the most emotional or fun? I watched the show.
- [11:51]
A
I did see Eddie Murphy. People asked me if I tight with Eddie Murphy. Everything bad has evaporated. I walked by him, I saw him at something and then he was at Chris Rock's thing. I didn't talk to him, but there's absolutely no anything anymore. Everyone was cool. He was in sketches. He was upbeat. The 40th, remember? He didn't do anything.
- [12:11]
B
Yeah, J.C. morgan impression was great.
- [12:14]
A
And then he did that Black Jeopardy. I was. I had a great seat for that when I saw it. Hilarious. Good to see Eddie doing Eddie stuff like that. Great at it. I walked past him on the way into the show, and he put his arm back and blocked me. And so I had to say hi and give him. He was super cool. Dapped him up is too much lingo for you.
- [12:35]
B
Dana, what is the phrase water under the bridge? Who started that? I mean, it was Billy Bridge or Stevie water, but water under the bridge means that whole thing with you and Eddie is so over. Now you're friends. I. I'm gearing up behind my cool shades right now.
- [12:51]
A
We were friendly. We should have taken a picture because it was fun to see him. And then there was no weird vibes at the show.
- [12:58]
B
Okay. Sketch of the night. Blink.
- [13:00]
A
Sketch of the night. Oh, that's tough. I liked a lot of different things. I liked Amy and Tina going, am I. Am I being too political? I liked Amy and Tina going into the audience in Q and A. They're always funny to me. When you see the script and it says audience Q and a, and there's 35 celebrities listed in the cast that are. That's so fun because Peyton Manning is doing one joke. Everyone flies in for one joke. It's great. And some hit really big. I thought. I thought the combo of Lovett's. His joke, which is funny, that he's sitting at the so far away. He's in the American Girl story store.
- [13:36]
B
That's good.
- [13:37]
A
Hilarious. And then he goes, I'm not mad. I'm just saying.
- [13:40]
B
I just want to know why.
- [13:42]
A
Yeah, I think was the.
- [13:43]
B
Yeah. So really, Amy, are great writers. Super light.
- [13:46]
A
And then they come back and she said, oh, we gave that seat to Julia. We support Dog.
- [13:55]
B
Bad that I couldn't go because I think that Mike and I were supposed to do Wayne's World. So I was glad. And I thought that Linda Richmond, the Coffee Talk woman, came out and really scored. And we talked about it. And I said Miles Teller was kind of nice looking, playing it very real with them. And they're the Long Island Amy and Maya.
- [14:17]
A
They were.
- [14:17]
B
And then Linda Richmond comes in like this neurotic, like, crazy person. He's landing all his hooks, and they're playing it kind of straight. They're trying to understand this crazy character. So I thought that landed very nice. So I was happy about that for letting.
- [14:32]
A
Yeah, Mike got a good score in there. You know, it was good because it was. And Wayne's World would have done great, but it was fun to see that because the show was bloated out to about 320.
- [14:43]
B
320. Yeah. Wayne's World would have done great. I would have been really happy to do it, but it couldn't make it.
- [14:52]
A
Yeah, Garth looks sickly. I saw him the other day at the mall.
- [14:58]
B
The Garth. Garth Brooks.
- [15:01]
A
No, you're Garth.
- [15:02]
B
He's like, oh, my God.
- [15:04]
A
He's just walking around. He's at the comic book store.
- [15:07]
B
He just got pubes, man. So leave him alone.
- [15:10]
A
He's a guy alone. You know what was one I would have edited out? This is a ballsy tape.
- [15:14]
B
Oh, hot take.
- [15:16]
A
You ready for fucking front headlines Edit. I would have lifted the blue sheet at the end.
- [15:22]
B
That just made me sad.
- [15:24]
A
It made me sad.
- [15:25]
B
And Paul great, because Tom Shiller is. Was a great little filmmaker. He did some cool stuff. But in that moment, yeah, I felt a little sad and.
- [15:35]
A
Well, first of all, Bill Murray's there. He's watching all his friends. If we were there and we see people that we were super tight with and they're all passed away, it just. It's. It's heavy for me. And I'm not. I wasn't. Didn't know them all. And then it just makes the whole place go holy. Now, that was a big, famous video they shot for, like, short film.
- [15:53]
B
Tom Schiller, Tom Shiller Vision.
- [15:56]
A
Maybe the first or second or third season, right?
- [15:59]
B
Yes. Yeah. And it was cool and blue. She was really good in. Just was sort of a left turn after Scared Straight and Debbie Downer. Every time I see it, I'm happy. And the reason I get so happy is that the sound effects start to change over time. Yeah.
- [16:19]
A
And I want. I actually wanted more. I wanted a foghorn also. I wanted to hear birds coming in. Ah. Ah. While they push into her. Just anything stupid.
- [16:38]
B
Oh, anything that. That's great. We always love to see that. And Rich, she's great.
- [16:44]
A
She's.
- [16:44]
B
Now, what you think, Chevy at the beginning, because I know some of the people he was listing, you know, top 10 update. He did say, in not any particular order.
- [16:53]
A
Oh, you're talking with Bill Murray.
- [16:55]
B
Bill Murray. Sorry, did I say Chevy? Oh, Bill Murray. Not in any particular order. Chevy was on there. But we saw our friend Dennis was on there.
- [17:05]
A
Oh, oh. On the Weekend Update.
- [17:07]
B
Update. Bill Murray.
- [17:09]
A
Top.
- [17:09]
B
My first update, guys.
- [17:11]
A
My first Bill Murray story before I tell you that was. They put you in the audience and you look at your placards, you know, during rehearsal, you see where everyone's going to wind up sitting and you go, oh, that person's here. Oh, they're Coming. And then I was over here. I told you I was nowhere near you. And then when I went to the show, they go, your place is different. And it was front row next to Bill Murray and in front of Meryl Streep, Marty Shore. I was like, oh, this is great. And Randy Carlisle, to my love. So I go, this is super fun. And they do it. And then Bill Murray's backstage. But when we go out, it's three minutes and they're like, oh, he's not out there. So bless his heart. Seat filler comes in. They do a joke about Bill Murray to cut to him is the point of it. And the camera guy goes like this. And he goes, I see him on the headset. He's like, he's not there. And they put the camera like, oh, what a bummer, there's two people there.
- [18:01]
B
I would have actually sheepishly went up to with pen and paper and said, excuse me, could I get an autograph?
- [18:07]
A
Right?
- [18:08]
B
That would have been Meryl Streep and Brandy Carlisle. Those would have been two people. I wanted. I don't ever do this and I don't want a picture. I want a signature. So I thought Meryl Streep was. It was so fun to watch her in the adopt abduction alien sketch with next to Kate McGinnon because she was having so much fun. And when it ended, you could see she was on a high because she's done everything. But has she done.
- [18:34]
A
Never hosted.
- [18:35]
B
Never hosted. Yeah. Maybe street will now. I guess her and Martin Short are friends again. I.
- [18:45]
A
We don't know. Friends with Benny's.
- [18:46]
B
I want to hang out with Martin Short as much as I could, actually.
- [18:49]
A
Yeah. What if they are together? Fun, because remember, we all went to the store. We all went to the Comedy Cellar that night. And what a fun thing. It's fun. Those two look like a blast.
- [18:59]
B
Well, Martin, I don't know her. I just know she's a genius, but she also seems very real. And Martin Short can go from serious, dramatic, profound to funny in a flash. So if you. If you're at a party and you sit next to him, then you're just happy. He's not always on, but he can.
- [19:18]
A
Be on, you know, she seemed very light hearted. I. And I loved seeing Nicholson there.
- [19:24]
B
That was very cool.
- [19:26]
A
Like, what a freaking movie star.
- [19:28]
B
Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Sandler.
- [19:31]
A
Ladies.
- [19:32]
B
Hey. Thank you. Oh, well, thank you, Jack. So I'm doing Sandler in his real voice, not thought. And his song was great and very emotional. That teared me up.
- [19:41]
A
Yeah, you know Six years. Jan gave props to everyone. Got a standing ovation.
- [19:47]
B
Yeah. The only standing O with our friend Sandman.
- [19:50]
A
Sure.
- [19:50]
B
Just saying. But it was emotional and. And well written. Dan Bula on the keyboards.
- [19:56]
A
Yeah, of course.
- [19:57]
B
Adam's right hand man.
- [19:58]
A
And you know, I do like about this whole thing. Dana is. Aside from Bula, is great. I didn't mean to cut you off there. When you see a host like Adam Driver, who I don't know from Adam, I don't know this guy. Literally, he's just a big star. Seems kind of quiet. He just comes. Like everyone comes and just says, hey, if you want to put me in something. If not, I'll sit in the audience. This will be a fun event. They go, this is how it works. They write a sketch. They wrote that New York musical sketch. And they go, hey, Adam Driver, you're here. Do you want to play a hot dog?
- [20:30]
B
Sure.
- [20:31]
A
Yeah. Yeah. And puts on a hot dog costume, goes out there. Maya's a syringe. I didn't figure out she was a syringe and I was in it. It took me till the very. Because I took a picture of her. Oh, I never posted that one. Heather. I should have. Maya being a syringe was so funny. She's backstage.
- [20:46]
B
Yeah. It was a little dark, but it. Those things are so much fun. I love Nathan Lane, my old buddy.
- [20:50]
A
From cocaine and vodka.
- [20:53]
B
Coming out.
- [20:53]
A
Cocaine and.
- [20:54]
B
You know, I'll just say this for inside baseball. When you're a movie star, you're in your trailer most of the time. You go out, you do 20 takes or something. It's so slow motion. And then you go here and it's live and you're dressed like a hot dog. It's just a rush.
- [21:09]
A
And everyone's laughing during your take instead of after. When you're in a movie, you're not allowed to make any noise.
- [21:14]
B
Yeah.
- [21:15]
A
And everyone's high fiving you and you're just running into people you don't even know. And they're like, hey, I saw you in this.
- [21:20]
B
Yeah, yeah. So.
- [21:21]
A
But he was cool. He was also a score. I was telling you earlier, when Julie Louise has her Seeing eye dog, the dog's blind. And she goes, he's getting weird vibes from Adam Driver next to him. The energy in Adam Driver's like this. Just staring. Just not playing it too big. Just staring off. No, that guy, everyone says he's got a weird vi.
- [21:41]
B
It's so funny. Look it up. It's not probably on Amazon Prime. You can look up Ferrari he was.
- [21:47]
A
So was he good in that?
- [21:49]
B
Well, he was ridiculous in that. I mean, it. It's a kind of a dark movie. But that guy's brilliant. So to see him do live sketch, I think, yeah, he had a time of his life, you know.
- [22:01]
A
Cool dude. We will wrap it up because we have the actual podcast. But other than that, Kevin Costner was just there at rehearsal, just watching. They wind up putting him in the audience just because he was coming to show. He went to rehearsal, he was at Chris's, so he sort. He felt fit right into the mix. And yeah, Chris Costner just looks cool.
- [22:23]
B
He just always looks cool. I don't know what.
- [22:25]
A
He looks cool. He looked like someone from Young Guns. He's just standing inside. He's very comfortable. Like you can talk to him and he's very nice. But if no one's talking him, he's okay just being by himself, just staring, watching.
- [22:37]
B
Oh, if you talk to him. So I don't know if people know this. Like he's an inventor. He. He loves movies, don't get me wrong. But he'll talk about. He had stuff for when the Gulf of Mexico, now the Gulf of America. There was an oil spill and he has technology to do that. So he's like an inventor as well as a producer, director. Dancing with Wolves was good. Go out on our land.
- [23:01]
A
That was fine.
- [23:02]
B
Yeah, wolves were not dancing.
- [23:04]
A
I'm a movie reviewer. It would be nothing without the wolves. Okay, that's it. So let's leave it at that. And now we're going into the real podcast that we already did. And we'll tell you about the rehearsals and all the other time.
- [23:19]
B
Now you'll. This is like sort of a trippy one because now talking and not before the actual 50th. So this is a little Twilight Zone, a little Rod Serlin for you. So don't get thrown.
- [23:33]
A
Okay, thanks. And we will see you on the other half of this podcast.
- [23:36]
B
God Save the Queen.
- [23:47]
A
So the sports book Born in Vegas, Dana is, you know our friends over at BetMGM, which you can always tag them, follow them. BetMGM NBA fast break. Free to play. Now see here, See here.
- [24:01]
B
Now what you have to do is log into BETMGM every day and play new Fast Break basketball game for your chances to win prizes.
- [24:13]
A
David, am I reading this right?
- [24:14]
B
Am I reading this right? My words, not yours.
- [24:16]
A
All you need to do is log on to BetMGM, head to the promotions page and fire up Fast Break to find yourself on the B ball court.
- [24:23]
B
Play Fast Break for your daily shot at boost tokens, bonus bets or bonus spins.
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BetMGM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. See betmgm.com for terms 21 plus only. This promotional offer is not available in Mississippi, New York, Nevada, Ontario or Puerto Rico. Gambling problem. Call 1-800- gambler available in the U.S. for New York, 877-8-HOPE NY or text hopeny. That's 467-369 for Arizona, 1-800-next step for Massachusetts, 1-800-327-5050 for Iowa, 1-800-bets off for Puerto Rico, 1, 800-981-0023.
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B
New and existing customer offer. Subject to eligibility requirements. Rewards vary and expire in seven days. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel David I like to introduce things. You know, it's kind of part of my brand. You know, new things.
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A
What could you introduce me to? All I want to hear about is a new podcast. If it's not that I don't want to hear it.
- [25:30]
B
Let me think for a minute. Oh, have you heard of this one that you I'm going to introduce to you. This new podcast is called Campus Files, a weekly series that dives into some of the wildest scandals that have taken place within colleges and universities. Often revered as a beacon of integrity and excellence. Sometimes the reality of college life is just absurd. So.
- [25:56]
A
Oh, yeah, so I, I've been to Arizona State University. I, I know very well it's, you know, from rigged admissions to sports scandals to Greek life drama, Campus Files exposes the stories that you won't hear on the campus tours.
- [26:09]
B
I gotta admit, this is a really good idea. Listen to and follow Campus Files and Odyssey original podcasts, available now on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.
- [26:20]
A
Okay, so, Dana, I'm here at a hotel.
- [26:24]
B
Let me guess, the Four Seasons.
- [26:28]
A
No, I'm not going to tell everyone.
- [26:30]
B
I'm just going by the wallpip. What does it matter?
- [26:32]
A
Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's over. Well, I'm here during the SNL weekend and I will walk you through the steps. And we're only on just full disclosure, Saturday night. Is that what it is? And the show is Sunday night, so this is airing Friday. So this is a little ahead, but people will know I'm not giving spoilers because it's over already.
- [26:59]
B
Right?
- [27:00]
A
Right.
- [27:01]
B
And for me, I had lingering effects from the flu, cough and fatigue. So I was told not to travel. So I couldn't make it. But if I had made it, yeah.
- [27:16]
A
I Saw where you were sitting in the audience. I was like, oh, they have a little placard. Yeah. They don't even put us. We're not even near each other, which is the worst thing.
- [27:26]
B
Well, yeah. Isn't John Lovett. Didn't. We're past tense now. Didn't John Lovitz and Kevin Nealon sit together?
- [27:37]
A
We don't know it. Half the fun, we were saying is looking where they put all the placards. You're like, holy shit, this is going to be. I was eating my Caesar salad, and I realized I was in Meryl Streep's seat. But we'll show a picture of that. I'll send the picture, Heather. And so just now, I got back rehearsal. They put me in a line in a sketch. So it is the longest sketch.
- [28:04]
B
It's not the Californians, was it?
- [28:06]
A
No, no. I'm thinking of the 40th. This is Mulaney. And I'm like, I don't even have to read it. Mulaney and Colin Jost wrote it. I love it.
- [28:14]
B
Oh, let me guess. They did a big Broadway show.
- [28:18]
A
Yep. It's kind of. It's singing.
- [28:20]
B
Yeah, yeah, that's. He. He did one when I was there in the falls. It was very cool. A lot of moving parts. I think a bus came in Bowen Yang came out.
- [28:28]
A
It's like, oh, yeah.
- [28:29]
B
And Pete Davidson is always there at the beginning. That's.
- [28:32]
A
And I'm with Pete Davidson at the beginning. So we're. We're by a hot dog cart, and we're basically saying, hey, we're new to New York. It's 1975. We're. We're artists and we're excited to. And John's like, don't you know that it's New York? And you read the screen. It's 1975. No one wants to be here. It's the city's trash at this point. Dangerous. So we are trying to figure out. He kind of walks us through. He goes, I'll let New York speak for itself. And then, you know, someone comes out as a hot dog and.
- [29:05]
B
Yeah, yeah, I've seen them. They're very entertaining and really, really produce. Big, big, big, big, kind of. Yeah, we're number.
- [29:14]
A
We're over on the side. And I go, don't squinch us over here. But then it moves to, I think, Maya.
- [29:22]
B
It takes up multiple sets and space.
- [29:25]
A
Yeah, you go, us, Maya, Adam Driver, sing. A lot of people can sing. You know, I think you can sing, too. I don't really Sing.
- [29:32]
B
No, no, I'm not. Not. Maya can sing.
- [29:34]
A
Maya can sing. A lot of these girls, Kristen Wiig is there. I love. And she. I never see her. I never see her out. So a lot of fun to see her. She sings. It's funny. Scarlett Johansson, just the most random group. That's the fun of having people back. Like the 40th, you just throw people in. I think Billy Crystal's in it. I think Nathan Lane, you know.
- [29:59]
B
Well, that's the kind of sketch that you could really put a lot of people in it.
- [30:03]
A
Yeah. Just cram them in.
- [30:05]
B
Yeah. Everybody gets. You could just think of, oh, he'll do this, she'll do that.
- [30:09]
A
Everyone gets a laugh. And so. So I just ran home and just walked on here because they kept our run through for our sketch was. What was it, four hours? I think at least. Yeah. And that's long for a rehearsal. Four and a half. So we got there, I had to use Heidi Gardner's dressing room. Oh. And when I got in there, because, you know, there's a shortage.
- [30:37]
B
Yeah.
- [30:37]
A
So I go in this dressing room and there's all I go, is this someone's dressing room? They're like, yeah, tidy's. I was like, well, that's nice that she's cool. I feel bad. And then I see a gift bag and there's also one for Ryan Reynolds. And they're like, oh, he's using it right now. But his sketch is done. So he and Blake are leaving and you take over now. So if he comes back in, he'll just grab his gift back. So when I'm leaving, of course I have to do a bit. He's signing something and I go behind him and go, wait, are you getting paid for this? And, oh, big laughs by the page desk. And then. And then said, hi. And then we talked for a second. Then I went in and waited for our sketch. But really fun rehearsal day.
- [31:22]
B
Did you use your time in New York City around all these talented, famous people to pitch them coming on?
- [31:34]
A
You know what? I didn't because.
- [31:37]
B
Oh, it's so awkward.
- [31:38]
A
It's so awkward. But a lot of people have seen it. A lot of people say, we saw it, you know, and they listened to it or whatever. Everyone's very cool. You know, One of the cool things was when I was waiting to go. Go on, I saw just Kevin Costner standing in 8H, just watching. And so naturally I just go chat him up. But he's just like, yeah, I'm not in the show. I'm just checking it out. I said, hey, if you need, if Yellowstone needs a punch up, we get some big fucking laughs in there. Get some big set pieces we can do.
- [32:11]
B
Yeah, he's. He's pretty cool. I'll tell you a little one minute story. So sounds like a while back I was doing Bob Costas charity event in St. Louis. For whatever reason, I don't demand anything, but I was doing a corporate in Texas and Bob Costas provided a private jet for me to St. Louis and then it was going to take me home. So then we do the show and Costner's there with his band and he's really good. It's like a country west, man. I go, your songs. It came off. It was catchy songs. He goes, catchy. He thought maybe it was a diss. Catchy? What do you mean catchy? Well, catchy is good. That's the Beatles. But then we're at the, the after thing. We're at the table having fun, talking and stuff. And it came out that I have a private jet. It was a citation 10 brand new taking me back. At that point I was living in the Bay area. So I said, you should jump on. Yeah, for sure. So for about two hours he was coming on the jet. It was going to be really fun hanging out.
- [33:13]
A
Oh my God, how fun.
- [33:14]
B
And then the guy came over. Whatever. Somebody came over and said, oh, sorry, the jet can't drop you off in Napa, California and then take Kevin to Santa Barbara. Then it was a big. So but then this is the part where. And I was like saying, yeah, but we could drop my, you know, I was just kind of embarrassed in a way. Why do I have a checking Kevin, I. And then he was so cool about it. No, this doesn't matter. It's fine. Yeah, he was just not even for one second, one millisecond did he go, what that guy get a jet? And I'm not. So anyway, that's a showbiz story right there.
- [33:56]
A
Oh yeah. I saw a clip of Yellowstone the other day. Goes, hey, Rip, hire someone here and don't hire some like, okay, then. Then they hire a girl that's like sort of a redneck girl. That's the only clip I just saw.
- [34:11]
B
There is no more alpha male show. And it was a sleeper. It built the whole Taylor Sheridan empire. Now we have land, man. But when I first started watching Yellowstone because I, I love that I was bullied, as you know, I was a little kid. So I love the idea you and me are gonna tussle. You want to Throw dagging them. Come on. You know, every guy wants to beat the out of someone else for just looking at him the wrong way. Yeah, you're talking to me. I'll talk back to you with my fist.
- [34:39]
A
I'll beat your ass. Yeah. He does a cool, gruff voice in it. Love Costner. I love. We're talking about Costner, the only guy that is not in the show. But he is cool, and everyone needs to understand it's really fun to see him in the real world. I'm going to do a day and hold this. Hey, folks. What's going on? A little crowd work.
- [34:55]
B
Yeah. Have you tried the veal?
- [34:59]
A
You guys. You guys married? Here's what I do when I do crowd work. I go, they always have shitty appetizers. So I go to a couple. I go, what'd you guys have there? Chili bites. And they're like, no. I let them answer, what'd you guys have? And they're like, oh, hot dog. Mini wieners. And I go, no, that's not a good one. Hey, what'd you guys have there? I'll do it to you, Dana. And then you say.
- [35:22]
B
What do I say?
- [35:24]
A
You say pizza.
- [35:26]
B
Well, normally they're having pizza bread or something like that.
- [35:29]
A
Yeah, yeah. Say pizza bread. Hey, you guys. You guys together? Yep. Say yes.
- [35:34]
B
Yep. Yes.
- [35:35]
A
What do you. What are you guys having?
- [35:37]
B
Pizza bread.
- [35:38]
A
Oh, anniversary or something. Anyway, then I walk over here.
- [35:42]
B
So the joke is, for a shit for an anniversary, they're just having pizza bread.
- [35:47]
A
Yeah. And I look around, I go, what'd you have? A big pretzel? Oh, anniversary, birthday or something.
- [35:54]
B
My go to is this. I think it was great. I just want to know.
- [35:59]
A
Thank you.
- [35:59]
B
If you use this joke, you're going.
- [36:01]
A
Back to the eight. And I will, whenever you. Whatever you say.
- [36:04]
B
It changed. It changed. Heckler heckles, Right? So heckle me. Hey, I'm Dana Carvey, and what's going on? Hey.
- [36:12]
A
Oh, hey. Oh, bring on the last guy.
- [36:16]
B
Hey, man. Hey, man. I don't come to jack in the box and bother you when you're working.
- [36:22]
A
God. Applause.
- [36:24]
B
It would kill. And you know what the. The 2025 one is?
- [36:29]
A
Yeah.
- [36:31]
B
I don't come to your job and slap the dick out of your.
- [36:35]
A
Your mouth while you know that one.
- [36:37]
B
That always kills. A little X rated for me, though.
- [36:40]
A
Yeah, it's a little. Dana, you're. You can work clean. You and Nate Bergazzi.
- [36:45]
B
No, Nate is perfectly clean.
- [36:48]
A
Oh. I will tell you one more story before we get into it. So I land. I run Into Anya. Anya Taylor Joy. On the plane. On the flight, yeah. She was on the flight with her husband. Cool, dude. I love her. Very cool to see something like that dressed like a London suede shorts or something. She looked great. Anyway, so, blah, blah, blah, go eat by myself when I land. And, you know, there's nothing the first night. So Chris Rock talked about, maybe we'll do a set or we'll go do stand up or something.
- [37:25]
B
Why not?
- [37:26]
A
So I get there by myself. I eat at Houston's. I know it's not New Yorky enough.
- [37:32]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [37:33]
A
But when I was in Houston, I ate it. Manhattan's good night.
- [37:36]
B
So try the view.
- [37:40]
A
So I go, so Nate Bragazzi is in town, and I forgot see that he was here.
- [37:46]
B
And he said, hey, forgot to you Forgotzi. Is he a Nazi? He's not, but it rhymes. You gotta. If it rhymes, you gotta say exactly.
- [37:54]
A
It's funny. So. So then Nate says, I'm at this comedy club. You want to go do a set? And I said, yeah, what about the comedy seller? And he said, we'll go there next. So I met him. We drove the comedy cell. On the way, Rock is in bed. It's not that late. But he goes, I'm just laying around. I go, you want to come out? If you go to the cellar, I will. And I go, okay. So we go to the cellar.
- [38:20]
B
So he's almost asleep. He's in pajamas. And if he goes to a certain comedy club, he gets up, gets off his sleep.
- [38:26]
A
It's like 10:30. So he puts on this beanie, come down. So then we go, and, you know, you have to bump everybody. And that's the hard part. So Leslie Jones is on, I think so. They already have a good lineup. And then I go, nate, why don't you go up, bring me up. I'll bring Chris up. Because you're gonna follow Nate if there's no winning. Leslie's hard to follow. Nate Will.
- [38:49]
B
Leslie's hard to follow. She's a. Yeah, she's. She's a pistol. She's a.
- [38:53]
A
She goes. She goes. I did your favorite crowd work. Oh, yeah. When she was on the podcast, we talked about crowd work.
- [39:02]
B
People that are civilians, quick insert. And I talked. Some people today, they think crowd work is the bravest, hardest thing any standup could do. They just think, could you. Would you ever. I saw this guy, Matt Rife. He did his whole thing was crowd work. That was amazing. Do you think you could do that too? Or you'd be too scared? Well, you don't have to write any material. And you record five shows. Matt is great at crowd work, but it is kind of nice. Material is hard, but go ahead with your story.
- [39:33]
A
Yeah.
- [39:34]
B
So you're down at the Cellar, Your father.
- [39:36]
A
Yeah, I'm not a crowd work guy, but I, it's, It's actually too hard for me. I, I, I would get lost. You know, you got to go, this couple is here, and why don't you go home with them? And, you know, if you really earn that vibe, it kills. It's great. So anyway, and so this is all one show, right? So I go, oh, they're getting a pretty good show. And then they go, oh, are you kidding? You know who was just on before you that popped in? Mulaney? Steve Martin. Martin short. So it went those three. Leslie, and then us three. And that's just one show.
- [40:06]
B
Okay, hold on. You're blowing my mind. Are you saying that Steve Martin got up and did stand up at the Cellar?
- [40:12]
A
Yeah, practice stuff with Martin. And then. And then Marty got up with him.
- [40:15]
B
Oh, with Marty.
- [40:17]
A
Yeah, they said he got up alone. I saw a picture of him alone up there.
- [40:20]
B
Oh, I see. You think? Okay. All right.
- [40:23]
A
Well, seeing Steve Martin do in a club would be, you know, the end all and be all. Because growing up with Steve Martin and listening to his albums, knowing every move from the albums, picturing it, just so cool.
- [40:39]
B
I just reread his book. It's the second time I. Oh, right.
- [40:43]
A
You were talking about that.
- [40:44]
B
Yeah.
- [40:45]
A
So it's called Scientist, Standing Up Lifestyle. What is it called?
- [40:51]
B
A little bit of his childhood, but basically him starting out in Disneyland and then Knott's Berry Farm.
- [40:57]
A
Was he a magician or something?
- [40:59]
B
Yeah, magician and a magician, comedian, and then eventually comedian are making, deconstructing stand up, and they show you in the book. It's kind of cool. His notebook and his notes.
- [41:10]
A
Wow.
- [41:11]
B
And he wrote in there, when the tricks don't work, it's funnier. So, like being a bad musician or. Sorry, magician. Yeah, so it's kind of. It's really an interesting look into the mind.
- [41:25]
A
Well, listen, Steve Martin can't do any better. Martin short. Just picture those crushers. And Mulaney got it.
- [41:31]
B
And then you got Leslie Nielsen. And then you waltz in there, and then little David. Now you come in and crush.
- [41:38]
A
You know how it is. They always give you big applause. They go crazy. And then you start talking like, what the.
- [41:43]
B
I hate that. Did they give you like, let's keep this going. This guy's everywhere. One of the Funny. Did they give you the big booming.
- [41:51]
A
Well, it was Nate. It was Nate. So he was pretty cool about it then.
- [41:53]
B
Oh, he introduced you with Chris.
- [41:55]
A
I was just like, okay, I'm done. Well, here's Chris Rock. So they go crazy, but Chris goes, lower your expectations, because there's really almost no way you can try new material. And I wasn't ready. I've been on the movie so much that I haven't really done. So I'm like, wait, I got a little buzzed at dinner. And I'm like, I don't want to go on. Then I got there and I go, I'll do a couple. Here's the best joke of the night for me.
- [42:17]
B
Okay. This is what I want to hear. This is you.
- [42:19]
A
This is to the manager before I go on. Unfortunately, it's obviously not on stage.
- [42:26]
B
Was I. Yeah, but now it's going to beam out on this podcast. Go ahead.
- [42:31]
A
Yes. This is a joke that will be funny to comedians. They said, okay, so Nate's bringing you up. You bring up Chris. I go, great. I go, how long's Nate doing? They go, about 10. They go, how long are you going to do? I go, I'll do about 12, 14. And they go, okay, when do you want the light? I go, give me the light at 30. Because obviously every comic just stays forever. But they act like they're not going to go on for a long time.
- [42:59]
B
I know if the crowd's hot. But let me ask you a question. This is Inside Baseball Alert. You put up a chiron, Greg.
- [43:05]
A
Okay.
- [43:06]
B
I don't like to get a light because I never see the light go on. I'm just not looking in the right place. So at one point, I look up and the light's on, and I wonder, how long has it been on?
- [43:21]
A
I get it. Yep.
- [43:22]
B
And have I gone over and didn't know it? So then I panic, I get quiet, I drop the mic, and I kind of slump off. And it's like, know one clap.
- [43:31]
A
Yeah. If you see. If they say, for more Inside Baseball. If they say, we'll give you the light, you're headlining. Right. We'll give you the light at 45. Do 50. Okay. And like you said, you're no. You know, you don't watch on. You're like, I feel like it's time. And then finally you see, like, a flicker. Guy's got a candle. I'm like, wait, I should have said, what's the light? Because usually it's a flashlight directly in your eyes going, pow, pow. Or just Turned on.
- [44:00]
B
Oh, guy lit a can.
- [44:01]
A
So there's someone's like, got his watch on. He's blinking it one time at a club. And I'm like. He goes, I gave you the light. I go, that was the light.
- [44:08]
B
I thought you're an Apple watch.
- [44:10]
A
Yeah, it was like 400ft away. Yeah. I'm like, we got to figure out what the light is. Because like you said, I did a corporate and they said, do this much and there was no time on this. There's supposed to be a timer on the stage, like a small clock over here. And then I don't have my watch on. Now I'm just fucking free balling and raw dogging. And I'm like, I think this is my act. This is about the time. But you go one minute under, they can say, didn't do your time, per the contract.
- [44:41]
B
Okay, here's another inside baseball alert. They ask you sometimes at corporate dates, they got a big clock.
- [44:48]
A
Yeah.
- [44:49]
B
Do you want it to go from zero to 60?
- [44:51]
A
Oh, or 60.
- [44:53]
B
Counting down.
- [44:54]
A
Great one.
- [44:55]
B
And when it's counting down, I, I get kind of nervous.
- [44:58]
A
I can't do it weird. You know why? Because I can't remember which way. I said, yeah. So it says 22 minutes. I go, wait, 38. Yeah, have I been on? And then I go, how much more is 20? I say, just count it up so I know when it gets to 50 or 60, I'm done.
- [45:15]
B
Yeah, don't. Don't do any math.
- [45:16]
A
Counting down is rough because I can't tell how much I want.
- [45:20]
B
I had one gig re fairly recently, casino, maybe 1500 people. They're packed. I have a friend was with me opening Larry Bubbles Brown. We go backstage. Nobody. We go up the stairs to the Nobody. We look out, the audience. It's 8:00. Ready for the show. Nobody.
- [45:42]
A
What the fuck is going on?
- [45:44]
B
Hello, Is anybody. What?
- [45:45]
A
Do we just start?
- [45:46]
B
Do we start? Nobody. And then we see it up these stairs, behind this thing, this vague light. There's a guy sitting up there. Silhouette of a guy. So we go. So we climb up the stairs and we sort of knock on the window. And he's just like surfing the web, looking over his shoulder. Oh, what? It's okay. It's starting in time. It's like 15 minutes late. That's the only happened once. It was very interesting.
- [46:09]
A
They didn't even let the audience in yet.
- [46:11]
B
No, the audience is in, just talking, just going 8, 10. But, but the mic wasn't on and nobody was there. Just nobody. Nobody backstage so this is the terrifying part for you people out there going, I'm gonna try stand up. This is the stuff that can happen.
- [46:34]
A
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Hotel Life's biggest questions. There's a few of them, Dana, in your life. Yeah. What house do I buy? What college should I go to? And will you marry me? That's a big one, right?
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B
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A
Therefore you be cool with marrying me?
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To me.
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- [49:39]
B
Yes. And you've got free shipping and returns. So it's kind of like what I would call foolproof. Blue Nile has 100% satisfaction guarantee, so that way you can make sure you pick the right one for that someone who's special.
- [49:54]
A
Right. Now go get 50 bucks off your purchase of 500 or more with code FLY F L Y at Bluenile.com that's.
- [50:02]
B
$50 off with code FLY at Bluenile.com.
- [50:06]
A
Blue Nile.com I was thinking of those. Oh, well, I was going to tell you about the, the. The government spending. It's in the news and how I saw Kennedy, our boy, going through it and it's all. It's. It's funny anyway. And then he, he always acts so casual and he's the greatest show on television.
- [50:33]
B
It's like Andy Griffith from Matlock Lives. You can't even believe he's a senator.
- [50:39]
A
The aw shuck senator.
- [50:41]
B
Aw shucks. He's shuffling papers and everything is slow motion and really clear. This is exactly what he said. It's not a bit. He goes, my friends on the other side of the aisle, it's about taxes. Always ask, who's going to pay more? Who's going to pay more? But they never ask, where the hell did the money go to? Your words, not mine. So he is so funny, listing off all these agencies and all these quirky expenses.
- [51:18]
A
I read through this and said, can I have a puke bucket? He literally said that I need a puke bucket. Because this is 12.6 million on finding a cure for monkeys with dandruff. With dandruff in Indonesia.
- [51:41]
B
$5 million to find out whether frogs like the way they look. Excuse me. Do frogs even see that they.
- [51:55]
A
Is it for mirrors? Because I can get you a better deal on a mirror.
- [51:58]
B
This is from the NIR National Institute of Research. These are real. $800,000. Do dogs think we should all walk on fours? 800,000.
- [52:15]
A
6.9 million. Are dogs bothered when we pet them?
- [52:22]
B
$1.5 million. Do red ants know they're red? Why? Why do ants have to know the color?
- [52:32]
A
1.2 billion. That's a B for men to find out. Are blue balls a real ailment or is it just a hoax?
- [52:45]
B
The funniest part is the specificity of the number two point because it seems real. $8.7 billion to the NRI is an orgasm similar to a sneeze. $2.8 billion.
- [53:03]
A
And I hate to pull the plug because you might have almost figured that one out at this point, but you didn't get there yet. We're still paying.
- [53:11]
B
We have to escalate $6 billion to find out if the name pickup truck encourages casual sex. And.
- [53:27]
A
72. Am I reading this right? 0.81 billion to find out if Miley Cyrus is still talking to her dad because he's a drinker.
- [53:41]
B
Okay, here's the other one. Can we call her $3200 to the NIR?
- [53:49]
A
Yeah.
- [53:50]
B
Why do teenage girls say the word, like so much? Like, we went there. Like, we did that. $3,200 of taxpayer money.
- [54:02]
A
1.6 billion to find out if you ghost someone, it's related to the paranormal. Now this feels like a waste.
- [54:16]
B
$420,000. Spare money. I like to mix it up.
- [54:22]
A
Yeah, I like it.
- [54:23]
B
The man who invented the idea of calling someone being assaulted mugged was actually drinking out of a mug when he thought of that term. 427.
- [54:36]
A
Let me get this straight. $182 so David Spade can get some more crowd work. That's all it takes. Give him more.
- [54:54]
B
$1.58 to pay people on the street to remember in the moment. What was the name of David Spade's last Netflix special?
- [55:12]
A
Oh, I don't have any more. I can't.
- [55:14]
B
Oh, no. That was a good, good one. Go with. Well, those are funny. Well, I. You know, it's hard to exaggerate. This is just for our audience. I mean, we know that some of these, you know, USA Aid thing were just so ridiculous. So I just thought the only way to escalate it is to go to, like, what? But they're not that much of an exaggeration.
- [55:38]
A
No.
- [55:39]
B
With some of these things. So there you go, folks. Try to laugh.
- [55:43]
A
Frog testicles. He really gets into things.
- [55:48]
B
The average circumference of a frog testicle.
- [55:53]
A
Circumference.
- [55:55]
B
$68 million. Your taxpayer money.
- [55:59]
A
Have we found this out yet? Is it that much of a conundrum? Will life go on if we don't know? Give me my puke bucket.
- [56:09]
B
I like the puke bucket.
- [56:11]
A
It is funny. He goes, we spend. It's the bestest one he goes, we spend $82 billion helping countries that hate us. Can we spend nothing and they'll still hate us?
- [56:23]
B
I know all this stuff is slow motion country logic. We. We give away $1 trillion to organizations that want to blow up Greenland just so Trump can't call it the Red Riding. Red, White and Blue Land. You know, that's the name they actually want for Greenland. Yeah. We're going to call it Red White, Blue Land.
- [56:52]
A
We can brainstorm a better. I mean, Gulf of America. It's a little hacky, but I'll take it. Yeah, but Red, White and Blueland is really like third grade. Come.
- [57:02]
B
It's hard to say. Red, right. Blue.
- [57:05]
A
Red right Live. I can't believe all those years I.
- [57:09]
B
Said sign live, I called it even more America. So that was my name for.
- [57:16]
A
How about charge for it and call it America plus, like they do on Apple.
- [57:20]
B
Plus 57,000 into it, native Americans from Greenland, Occupy.
- [57:30]
A
They don't even have a Costco.
- [57:33]
B
Yeah. They live in a very primitive manner. We can make them millionaires and perhaps they do our bidding.
- [57:43]
A
Yeah. Okay, let's go to some stories or something. And then before it basically take a shower because I'm like, so gross.
- [57:49]
B
Are you going Mobile time?
- [57:51]
A
There's something for Lauren and I, but it's also Rock's birthday, so it's his 60th birthday, so.
- [57:59]
B
Yeah.
- [58:00]
A
Heather, make sure I go grab my card from Thrifty. I'll go by cvs. Okay. Hang on. Violent diarrhea bug is dubbed the Ferrari of viruses. Why would you call it the Ferrari? Well, that would be good. Why would you call it the Ferrari? This is a cdc.
- [58:21]
B
You would say it's not violent. It's. When I think of a Ferrari, I think of fast. The speediest of virus.
- [58:28]
A
The speed of your poop going through your body. Is that what they mean? Hitting all the turns? Well, we're.
- [58:35]
B
We're still back with Kennedy. We're to figure out what to call the current diarrhea.
- [58:44]
A
Yeah.
- [58:45]
B
For our. I don't know. I. I have nothing further, your honor.
- [58:47]
A
Did you know what I read yesterday? That sounds fake. I don't even. I don't even know what it sounds like. They go, do you know what covet stands for? And the COV. COVID 19. Well, we can figure it out. Look it up, Heather. Because. But they go, what's the 19 standard? And they go, AI. First letter is one. I is the ninth letter or something. And I was like. And they were like, woo. And you know, on. On instagram. They have music like. Like they have scary music under it. And I'm like, I don't know if I'm scared. I don't get why that's scary. They said Covid is a. I'm like, well, I don't know about that. It sounds kind of scary. It doesn't really mean the SARS covet.
- [59:33]
B
SARS made it seem more dark.
- [59:36]
A
Oh, they say Corona virus, that C in the V.
- [59:41]
B
Coronavirus. Hmm.
- [59:47]
A
Hang on. Here comes Heatherwith to the rescue. It's not that riveting, but okay. We'll go to the next story.
- [59:53]
B
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- [60:46]
A
I participate in restaurants for a limited time.
- [60:49]
B
The one that still kind of denotes really hard laugh for me is still the face tilted with the tears coming out of it. You know that one and then that's tears. They're laughing. Yeah, you get three of those, you're still happy.
- [61:03]
A
But you know, I mean they have the straight one with tears. Tears, they have smiley.
- [61:09]
B
Right?
- [61:10]
A
But the tilted, that's a full. But isn't it a little weird seizure.
- [61:15]
B
When you know what you said or what you typed wasn't really that funny and you get like 10.
- [61:20]
A
Like that's, you know people are faking it.
- [61:24]
B
Yeah, fakers.
- [61:25]
A
They write back lol. I say LOL as a joke of how stupid it is. Like I'll write something to someone and then I put my own LOL.
- [61:34]
B
Like I'm like, would you rather get multiple LOLs or 15 HA's back to back?
- [61:41]
A
I know there was a study on this for $4.8 billion. We found that people would rather get just an LOL.
- [61:52]
B
I would say many people, your experience, not mine, would rather have multiple HAAs because that takes more energy to multiple HA.
- [62:05]
A
No, here's a trick I do and I've probably done it to you. I text you something and no one says anything. So I put a haha on mine. And so someone might accidentally think, oh, someone thought that was funny. And they're like, oh, it was Spade. He did it on his own.
- [62:19]
B
I did this once someone, just for fun, that everything they said, even if it was straight, I would just put a haha on it.
- [62:26]
A
I know it's too.
- [62:27]
B
And they thought I was crazy. Kept going. Yeah, so we'll meet you at the movie theater. Haha.
- [62:32]
A
Some people put lol, just awkwardly and it makes no sense and it makes me nervous. All right, so I'll see if the movies are like, okay, lol. And I'm like, what?
- [62:43]
B
Or heart seems a little too emotional.
- [62:46]
A
What's a gray heart?
- [62:48]
B
A gray heart? I have no idea.
- [62:50]
A
Heather, If a girl writes sends a gray heart, what's purple? What's. Yeah, yellow is sympathy in roses. It is. I don't know how there's a D in corona. No, she's still working on what Covid means coronavirus disease. Coronavirus disease.
- [63:10]
B
So where'd they get the V virus? Oh, okay. For virus.
- [63:18]
A
Covid disease.
- [63:21]
B
News flash. The flu that I got, influenza A way worse than Covid. Covid. Covid bombed this week.
- [63:32]
A
When I had Covid, I had it twice. And it was not that big a deal. If you didn't tell me there's a national emergency, I wouldn't have noticed the gray one. There's gray. You just had it. White heart represents love, support. I'm doing those all wrong.
- [63:48]
B
Fascinating.
- [63:50]
A
The blue one means I have blue walls, right? Yeah. Okay, next one. Company offers 200 AI company offers 200,000 for rights to your face and voice on their robots forever. Would you do it?
- [64:04]
B
No. Not enough, man. How about 20 million?
- [64:08]
A
But what if you're a normal person? Would you say, oh, a regular person?
- [64:11]
B
They just like. They just like. But then they can have your digital copy having pornographic sex with a giraffe. I mean. What do you mean?
- [64:21]
A
Nope, we don't got going to tell you anymore. Just you want the money or not?
- [64:27]
B
Jesus.
- [64:28]
A
A toughie is a tough one. I think most people say yes, they don't give a shit. 200 grand to do nothing. Let's look in the comments.
- [64:37]
B
Is that net?
- [64:39]
A
Oh, no, nothing's ever net. That's the thing when people go, how much you make net? I go, well, no one ever is paying you net.
- [64:47]
B
Well, you're paying net whenever you pay someone in cash. People love cash. And that goes net. Net.
- [64:54]
A
Who are you this Guy's net. Netanyahu over here. Because you say you want it net, so they call you Netanyahu.
- [65:05]
B
Okay, that's pretty good.
- [65:07]
A
Dennis Miller.
- [65:08]
B
Joe, they say you want nets. I think you're like a amateur tennis player. You know?
- [65:14]
A
This guy's got more nets. All right, one more. Let's see, what else, David?
- [65:19]
B
Just having a banana.
- [65:21]
A
Having a banana in the middle because I'm dying. Okay, don't play this yet. This isn't a good example, but whenever I see pranksters on my page, making people look stupid, throwing, like, a ball in their head, and then look, oh, who threw that? Prankster's life is. I look cool, you look stupid. I make money from it. I don't love that equation, Dana. So this one is just a page of pranksters where it doesn't work, right? Here's one example.
- [65:55]
B
Which way are you going? Which way you go.
- [65:58]
A
Which were you? I hate to say it's funny, but what is the joke? It's a prank. It's a prank.
- [66:04]
B
So we'll get a prank.
- [66:05]
A
And they always say, it's a prank. Like anyone cares. A prank.
- [66:09]
B
It's a prank. Just a prank. Camera right there.
- [66:11]
A
We got camera right there.
- [66:12]
B
We got camera. Well, then I feel like, is this a prank? See the camera right there?
- [66:18]
A
They always go to, like, gang bangers.
- [66:21]
B
Why would you trip?
- [66:22]
A
What are you doing here? And everyone's like, what you say? And then they go, hey, it's a prank. But these guys will either. Seen two guns drawn. Yeah, he's trying to.
- [66:31]
B
The guy could have broke his nose, right?
- [66:33]
A
He doesn't. They don't think it through. They just go, this will be so great if the guy goes, hey. But a lot of people just go, I'll knock you out. You're trying to start shit. People have hard days they don't need.
- [66:44]
B
Well, you're more trustworthy than I am not. I'm not saying you're gullible, but I believe the point was actually the guy who got tripped was actually in on the prank. Well, maybe.
- [66:57]
A
Usually the ones I've seen, they connect when they hit where it's.
- [67:01]
B
I'd have to see that again to see. Because the camera was behind him. If they knew it was coming.
- [67:07]
A
Dana, are they trying to trick me? That's scary.
- [67:11]
B
I would want to do if I did it a Johnny Knoxville and other people have done it where you're just in prosthetic makeup and you're like an old man or something asking for directions or something like that.
- [67:22]
A
He does that. And he had his nuts out of his shorts. An old man. And he was going to outdoor patios, and he'd walked by slowly and he'd graze it against their leg or table. And people go, what? Now that was funny.
- [67:33]
B
Now that was hilarious. And that's what you call a prank. Because you know what? He's not an old man. He's a very young man.
- [67:40]
A
But no one's getting mad. They think he's an old man, so no one's going to beat him up, but.
- [67:43]
B
Exactly.
- [67:44]
A
It's a risky biz. All right, another one. Okay. I don't know what this is. People cannot trust Sony. This will bomb. Let's see why you can't always trust people. Once Sony organized a focus group with their customers to decide the best color for their new Walkman to make its.
- [68:07]
B
Launch as successful as possible.
- [68:09]
A
Some voted for red, others for blue.
- [68:12]
B
But the yellow Walkman got the most votes.
- [68:15]
A
Yes.
- [68:15]
B
End of the survey. Sony thanked everyone and told them they could choose a Walkman in any of.
- [68:22]
A
The six colors they had just voted on.
- [68:24]
B
And guess what?
- [68:25]
A
Most people pick the black one. Yep, black.
- [68:28]
B
So everyone said yellows are most popular. And then when push come to shove, they got the free one and chose a different color.
- [68:34]
A
Well, I don't. They're like, I don't want yellow, but I think that's what people would like.
- [68:38]
B
Oh, okay.
- [68:39]
A
And then they go, but it worked.
- [68:42]
B
Makes me kind of nostalgic. You know, when Walkman's came in or the first ipod, and it was so, so primitive. You could upload a thousand songs on it. The lo fi world, there's a little bit of boomer nostalgia for it.
- [68:54]
A
You know, people don't realize a thousand on an ipod shuffle was bananas because you could only have an album with like six, eight, ten songs. And you go, wait, all. And that was this big. Or a cd, and you go all. I don't even know how it works.
- [69:09]
B
We had a tech guy come over our house. This is like 2003 or something, and he's doing stuff, and he's really nice guy, and he's actually a magician. He did all these tricks for us. And then he kind of goes, do you like, do you like Apple products? Because I really, I really like them. I'm. I'm. That's the only stock I invest in. I'm not a stock guy. He was just being sincere. It was casual conversation. But I, I just buy Apple stock because I like their products. And, you know, he left and I just said, that guy with his Apple stock.
- [69:43]
A
Yeah, he's had an attitude.
- [69:45]
B
And now he owns part of the Carolinas.
- [69:52]
A
And two islands in the Caribbean.
- [69:55]
B
It's one of those. One of those things. Missed it by that much.
- [70:00]
A
I missed it by. I got into Apple during rules engagement, me and Oliver Hudson, and then I got out. I can't always sit and everything. Even I buy a car. Like an old car is kind of fun, but the fun is buying and selling them. And so you drive it around, you have your fun, then you go, all right, I want a different one to play with.
- [70:16]
B
Kind of fun, expensive hobby. But you can always sell them for more if you have a good one.
- [70:22]
A
That'S super high quality. Yeah. Then you can always. Usually it's a push or you make a little. Well, I'll take a push. You just got something fun for right now.
- [70:30]
B
What would be a surprising car from the 60s that goes for a lot of money.
- [70:36]
A
Those Hemi Cudas are a lot of money. They're over a million.
- [70:40]
B
What about a Chevy Impala? Perfect condition.
- [70:44]
A
I mean, they go for. It's just. It's the rarity usually. So the bigger the engine, the more options they have. The color of the paint, they really cool stuff. So I still like a lot. I like old 72 trucks now. So now here I am on Instagram going, talking to these truck guys going, what she got under the hood? I like that old patina paint. Green or beat up, blue or black. And I wouldn't mind that where what am I hauling? But you know, I like them. They're cool.
- [71:17]
B
Everybody in my neighborhood, boomer flashback had a Volkswagen Bug. And a friend of mine got a vintage one that was just in a garage, just untouched. Like a 67 red Volkswagen Bug. They're kind of nostalgic, you know, this.
- [71:31]
A
Shape is a big deal. Like how good a shape they're in. Just like coin collecting. I used to do nerd alert. 1916 D Mercury Dime, beautifully uncirculated condition.
- [71:45]
B
My brother Brad, right base Garth on, talks like this. He was a real coin collector and a science type kid. So he had this fabulous coin collection with dimes and nickels and core, you know. And so Scott and I, we wanted some candy. It was Saturday and we needed money. We couldn't, we didn't have any money. So we went into his room, found his coin collection, shut the up and put them in a machine down by the puppet hound to get out of it. And someone found those coins later and it make. Made the local paper.
- [72:16]
A
Oh, 1955 double D, Buffalo nickel.
- [72:20]
B
Yeah.
- [72:21]
A
Right there.
- [72:21]
B
And we got. But we got some, you know, jawbreakers with that, you know. Oh, jawbreakers.
- [72:28]
A
Kind of played Asteroids.
- [72:33]
B
Played. Played Pong at a pizza part.
- [72:38]
A
Yeah, something like that.
- [72:40]
B
It was one little thing going back and forth.
- [72:42]
A
That was great. Pong was great.
- [72:44]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [72:46]
A
I did see Michael Myers today. Says hi to you. Everyone says hi. Of course.
- [72:51]
B
We've been super fun. Yeah.
- [72:53]
A
That show last night, I'll just wrap up. I said the music show last night was really fun. I didn't know what it would be like. I came in during Milo, I love. And I missed. I just saw the end because I was late. I didn't get to the press line or anything. And then. But they had every. You know, they had Will Ferrell and Anna Gas. They're doing their thing that.
- [73:14]
B
I love.
- [73:14]
A
Those two characters, they were singing Kendrick. Yeah, it was great. They had Lauryn Hill, who I'd never seen anywhere. Never seen her anywhere.
- [73:22]
B
Yeah, they. You know, a lot of people. What I noticed on the Saturday night live concerts, people went for it. Like, Jack White really went for it. And Brandy Carlisle is, like, kind of otherworldly. And Gaga is obviously as good as you can sing, but Gaga doing Dick.
- [73:44]
A
In a Box was really funny.
- [73:46]
B
That was funny. But, yeah, everyone really, man. Eddie Vedder, incredible. I mean, they all really went.
- [73:52]
A
Eddie doing Tom Petty was great, committed. Then he was going to be like. He played a pirate in this little sketch thing, Quickie. But everybody was sort of up for anything. It was really fun. There's a lot more comedians up there doing sketches and bits than I thought.
- [74:07]
B
And. Yeah.
- [74:09]
A
Yeah, it was just fun to see. I thought it was two hours, so I left and it was another hour and a half.
- [74:18]
B
Yeah. Post Malone with Nirvana.
- [74:21]
A
Yeah. Adam introduced that.
- [74:24]
B
You know, you just. Kurt Cobain and Nirvana. As time goes on, just get shinier and brighter where you just go. That was a moment. Those chord changes and those lyrics, they just sort of. It was grunge, but it just reinvented it. A little bit of John Lennon influence or something. But that Nirvana was huge. And it was. Post Malone filled those shoes as best he could. He was. He was amazing. Really, really tough.
- [74:53]
A
Yeah, look, it's super fun to see. I watched a clip this morning, I will tell you, Sarah Sherman was in that thing with me today and she was like, I'll come on with you guys tonight. But we didn't finish in time and she had to get back home to get on to do it. So maybe she'll come on next week when it's A little slower because she wanted to give us all the deets. And I saw Meryl Streep. I told you, I sat in a chair. So she's doing something tonight, which tomorrow, which would be great. It'll be fun. I don't know what. The other Friday just should be funny. And let's talk about it again. Well, it's already next week. It'll be a week after that, so it's okay. And good to see you. I will check in with you later and I'll take a shower because everyone's complaining.
- [75:39]
B
Have fun, whatever party you choose to go to.
- [75:42]
A
Yeah, tonight's pretty mellow.
- [75:43]
B
Must be nice to have your dance card full.
- [75:46]
A
I know. I'm Bo. You know, LA is. I don't do too much, so it's fun to have a couple things to do, but it gets a little bit of a grind. We had a late dinner last night. It was fun. We saw Paul McCartney running around the stage today, too. He's running around just sitting in the audience. I guess he has something. But of course, you walk by and go, oh, my God.
- [76:06]
B
Damn. Right up there is the most famous guy on the planet right now.
- [76:12]
A
I feel like he's up there. I mean, Keith Richards, I saw his name in a sketch, so I'm like, I don't even know what he's doing. He was not there, but I'm like, I just love that he's in a sketch. Maybe he's doing a cutaway. He's doing Everyone's Pretty Game. So good deal. All right, I will hit you later. Thank you.
- [76:31]
B
Thanks. Enjoy. Enjoy yourself. You know where to find me.
- [76:37]
A
This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Super Fly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.