SUPERFLY #60 - TIGER KING calls from Prison

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade Episode Summary: SUPERFLY #60 - TIGER KING Calls from Prison
Release Date: March 21, 2025
Presented by Audacy

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Introduction to SUPERFLY #60

In the sixtieth installment of "Superfly," Dana Carvey and David Spade delve into the captivating world of Joe Exotic, the infamous figure from the hit Netflix series "Tiger King." This episode offers listeners a behind-the-scenes look at Joe Exotic’s life behind bars, blending humor, insightful commentary, and engaging discussions on current events and pop culture.

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Joe Exotic Calls from Prison

Overview of the Tiger King Saga

Dana and David kick off the episode by reminiscing about the frenzy surrounding "Tiger King" during the pandemic. They reflect on Joe Exotic's colorful personality and the exaggerated, almost cinematic nature of the show, highlighting the complexities that surfaced upon closer examination.

Mock Interview with Joe Exotic

The hosts set the stage for a unique segment: a fictitious phone interview with Joe Exotic from prison. Although they cannot meet him in person, they engage in a humorous and imaginative conversation, posing questions about his life changes during incarceration and his infamous rivalry with Carol Baskin.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey [03:10]: “And all his cast of characters, it was like a movie...”
• Joe Exotic [12:19]: “There’s no fiction... this is all about drugs and alcohol.”

Discussion on the Legal Case

Joe Exotic elaborates on his conviction, touching upon the charges related to hiring someone to murder Carol Baskin. Dana and David dissect the legal intricacies, questioning the evidence presented and the motivations behind the prosecution's case. They humorously explore the potential for future appeals and movie adaptations of his story.

Notable Quotes:

• Joe Exotic [24:17]: “I have three movie offers right now...”
• Dana Carvey [16:01]: “Well, at least a callback.”

Future Plans and Appeal

The conversation shifts to Joe Exotic's aspirations post-incarceration. He mentions his active clemency application and his unique connections, including a mention of Enrique, the leader of the Proud Boys, discussing the possibility of a pardon.

Notable Quotes:

• Joe Exotic [17:35]: “He’s pretty cool. He’s gonna talk to him about pardon.”

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Current Events Riff: SpaceX Rescue Mission

SpaceX vs. Boeing Starliner

Dana and David transition to discussing the recent SpaceX mission that successfully rescued astronauts after issues with Boeing's Starliner. They commend SpaceX's revolutionary engineering feats, particularly Elon Musk's hands-on approach with engineers, contrasting it with traditional aerospace companies.

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade [06:48]: “SpaceX is, you know, an amazing achievement for a private company.”
• Dana Carvey [34:57]: “And these are other things I didn’t know, I didn’t know about the baby feet.”

Side Effects on Astronauts

They humorously speculate on the physical changes astronauts might experience after extended periods in zero gravity, such as altered foot shapes and height increases due to spinal compression.

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade [34:29]: “They'll get a quarter million a month each for every month.”
• Dana Carvey [35:05]: “But those astronauts...”

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Pop Culture and Personal Anecdotes

Buying a Truck and Classic Cars

Dana shares her adventures in purchasing a vintage truck through platforms like Bring a Trailer. The conversation evolves into discussions about classic cars like the El Camino, blending personal stories with humorous takes on car culture.

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade [37:34]: “I had dinner with a guy last night whose favorite car is the El Camino from the 60s.”
• Dana Carvey [38:15]: “It’s really underdog stuff. You know what I mean?”

Sound Effects Comedy

The duo engages in a playful segment where they perform exaggerated sound effects related to starting a car, showcasing their comedic chemistry and improvisational skills.

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade [42:01]: “Good pair of boots and confidence is all anybody needs.”
• Dana Carvey [43:28]: “That’S not bad.”

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Notable Quotes and Humor

Throughout the episode, Dana and David infuse humor into their discussions, often exaggerating scenarios and employing witty banter. Highlights include:

• David Spade [11:54]: “Mark Andreessen is a big Silicon Valley investor in tech for decades.”
• Dana Carvey [47:19]: “I have to say, how about that guy standing next to the pickup truck.”
• Joe Exotic [15:30]: “I didn't really pursue it because it was one of those lightning in a bottle shows.”

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Conclusion and Wrap-Up

As the episode draws to a close, Dana and David reflect on their engaging conversation with Joe Exotic, expressing curiosity about future developments in his case. They seamlessly transition to lighter topics, including Scarlett Johansson's media interactions and humorous musings about prosthetics and sound effects. The hosts wrap up the episode with gratitude towards their listeners and a promise of more intriguing content in future episodes.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey [61:11]: “We tried to get video and yeah, they said no.”
• David Spade [62:04]: “You have to create alliances. You have to get the boyfriend.”

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Key Takeaways

• Joe Exotic's Perspective: The mock interview provides a satirical yet insightful look into Joe Exotic’s mindset post-conviction, blending humor with critical commentary on his legal battles.
• SpaceX’s Innovation: Highlighting SpaceX’s groundbreaking achievements, Dana and David celebrate private sector contributions to space exploration while playfully speculating on astronaut side effects.
• Humorous Engagement: The hosts maintain a light-hearted tone throughout, using personal anecdotes and comedic sketches to keep the conversation lively and entertaining.
• Pop Culture Insights: From classic cars to celebrity behaviors, the episode offers a rich tapestry of discussions that resonate with a broad audience.

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Final Thoughts

SUPERFLY #60 masterfully combines insightful discussions with humor, making complex subjects accessible and entertaining. Dana Carvey and David Spade's dynamic chemistry ensures that listeners are both informed and amused, providing a comprehensive and enjoyable podcast experience.

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Notable Timestamped Quotes:

• Dana Carvey [03:10]: “And all his cast of characters, it was like a movie…”
• Joe Exotic [12:19]: “There’s no fiction... this is all about drugs and alcohol.”
• Joe Exotic [24:17]: “I have three movie offers right now…”
• Joe Exotic [17:35]: “He’s pretty cool. He’s gonna talk to him about pardon.”
• David Spade [06:48]: “SpaceX is, you know, an amazing achievement for a private company.”
• Dana Carvey [35:05]: “But those astronauts...”
• David Spade [37:34]: “I had dinner with a guy last night whose favorite car is the El Camino from the 60s.”
• Dana Carvey [38:15]: “It’s really underdog stuff. You know what I mean?”
• David Spade [42:01]: “Good pair of boots and confidence is all anybody needs.”
• Dana Carvey [43:28]: “That’S not bad.”
• Dana Carvey [61:11]: “We tried to get video and yeah, they said no.”

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Note: This summary omits advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the engaging discussions and key elements of the episode.

Transcript

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

Riveted setting their clocks. It's a unique. It's unique. It's a unique superfly. I'm just going to say that up front. It's not a tease. We're going to do something a little different. David.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. Oh, David. Well, we, you know, back during the pandemic, we were all glued to the Tiger King. I was also. And Joe Exotic. Who had a lot of funny catchphrases and funny things going on. A very interesting situation down there. In the zoo is a loose word.

[David Spade]

I guess it was a zoo. Yeah. I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know if it was a zoo. Yeah. And. And all his cast of characters, it was like a movie and it was. They were always saying you should do a movie about that. And it's. It's almost so exaggerated. It's hard to make a movie. Right.

[David Spade]

But who was floated? Who was floated that we know.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah.

[David Spade]

Play Joe Exotic in the Tiger King movie.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that's right. Spadely.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And that's not a. I mean, I don't know what it was.

[David Spade]

Well, maybe it's because it's so dirt. He's.

[Dana Carvey]

Maybe because of Joe Dirt. I kind of look like this guy in a. But he was very funny, very care. So I go by the funny part. And it never. We never talked about. But I never really pursued it because it was one of those lightning in a bottle shows. And then. And then, you know, time goes on and by the time something would come out, it probably wouldn't have been as exciting. But now he's in prison and for. Go ahead, Dana.

[David Spade]

For apparently hiring someone to murder his nemesis. Carol Baskin, who was sort of an animal rights activist in the area and wanted to shut down Joe's zoo because she thought he was cruel to the tigers.

[Dana Carvey]

And he thought she was cruel also. And also killed her husband. He. He says allegedly.

[David Spade]

Right, Right. It was redneck heaven. It was in Oklahoma. And everyone's got a body buried. Everyone's got a bottle of booze in their back pocket and there's wild tigers running around. It's mesmerizing.

[Dana Carvey]

You don't want to look too closely. Go into anyone's yard and you start dat, you're going to find something. So, yeah, on the surface, it seemed like a fun, goofy show to talk about. And then when you dig a deeper. It gets a little.

[David Spade]

It's a little twisted. I. I read that he shot t. He shot five tigers. And I. I don't like shooting tigers.

[Dana Carvey]

Sure. I think we. I think we can all say we're safely against that.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And so basically we've got him. He's in jail and he's gonna call in. It's like a radio show. He's gonna. We gotta call her.

[David Spade]

We gotta call. We will not be able to see Joe, but we're gonna hear his voice.

[Dana Carvey]

I bet we put up a picture.

[David Spade]

Of him and then imagine him Talking. Hopefully we'll ask the questions you want us to ask.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, we probably won't, but we, we're gonna. Hopefully.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I did seven seconds of research, so I'm locked and low.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. We all know about him. We all know the base, you know.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah, I know this.

[Dana Carvey]

But we're sort of playing for the big strokes of what people know. And speaking of big strokes, I had a big night last night.

[David Spade]

What do you mean?

[Dana Carvey]

No, I'm kidding.

[David Spade]

Oh.

[Dana Carvey]

Sounded like a good setup.

[David Spade]

Well, if we, if we have a few moments. It was interesting that the astronauts got rescued on SpaceX.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

After Boeing Starliner had some issues and couldn't bring them back. They were going to be there for what, eight days and they were there for 10 months. And there are side effects.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. I have a, I have a question about this, Dan. I'm glad you brought up, and I know everyone's supposed to. Hey, it's Elon Musk. But he did do a good thing. Yes. Yesterday.

[David Spade]

Well, what's this Elon Musk stuff? I mean, come on, calm down a little bit. Compartmentalize it. If you don't like Doge, go after that. But SpaceX is, you know, an amazing achievement for a private company. I mean, they totally dominated our friend Jeff Bezos because he really said to NASA, I'm going to give you a billion. I'll do anything you want. They looked at both spacecraft and the one that Bill Shatner went on didn't quite make the grade.

[Dana Carvey]

What about when it lands and they have like those chopsticks just grab it when it lands on SpaceX, it's, it's almost impossible.

[David Spade]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

He goes, I gotcha.

[David Spade]

Yes. And that to be able to reuse it instead of throwing it in the ocean brings the cost way down. So that again, was a revolutionary feat of engineering. And I don't think people know this. I'm just going by the facts. Don't. I don't want to get any letters.

[Dana Carvey]

No.

[David Spade]

Mark Andreessen is a big Silicon Valley investor in tech for decades. I know him casually. He explained that, that Elon is first and foremost an engineer. So if there's a problem with SpaceX or Tesla or whatever, he goes and sits in a room with the engineers for 12 hours.

[Dana Carvey]

I like that.

[David Spade]

And is act. That's why he can attract such great other engineers, because he speaks their language. There's no barrier. A CEO. I'm going to go golf and make a spaceship. He's actually in there. So I think if anyone is kind of considered a genius. He has to be. You can hate a genius, but at least acknowledge that SpaceX is a revolution. And Starlink why I'm talking to you right now.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, also here's one part about the landing that I read about today that was interesting is that a former astronaut said that they don't make money while they're up there, even though it's supposed to be for nine days. So they probably made an extra 1200 or something for 10 months. Yeah, because they get paid a travel allowance on those days. So it's. This sounds like a joke because it sounds funny, but I want to get to the bott of what they got paid because that wasn't part of the plan. So that's who this astronaut said. That happened to them and they got $4 a day. They usually get about $4 a day as an astronaut.

[David Spade]

That's just bad management. If you sign a contract, you should have a. You should have a stranded. Stranded.

[Joe Exotic]

Say again this call, press 5.

[Dana Carvey]

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[Dana Carvey]

Hey, Greg, you're on with David and Dana.

[David Spade]

Joe, Joe, come in. Joe, are you on the space station? Are you?

[Dana Carvey]

I know it sounds like he's on SpaceX.

[David Spade]

Joe, what's today like? What did you have for breakfast? Let's just start. How are you feeling? I've never been in prison and I've never been in prison for, I guess, seven years. And I know you want to get out, but what did, what, how, how have you changed just being in prison all these years? What's it like?

[Joe Exotic]

You know what? I wouldn't believe it if I wouldn't have had to come live this. I really, I really wouldn't. It's crazy. If the, if the general taxpayer knew what was going on in here, they would either close it all down or cut. Cut something. They'd have to cut something. This is, this is really. It's. There's no fiction. I mean, if I'd have done something wrong, there's no fiction what I'd done wrong because this is all about drugs and alcohol and in here, I.

[Dana Carvey]

In prison it is. Is that what you're saying?

[Joe Exotic]

Pardon? Yeah, it's, it's crazy. If they think they're going to win the war on drugs out there, they need to start by trying to win the war on drugs in here.

[Dana Carvey]

Our drugs run on the outside, from the inside.

[Joe Exotic]

Yes.

[David Spade]

Okay, and what are the names and addresses of the guards who let the drugs come in?

[Dana Carvey]

No, the names are just the bad guys, too. I.

[David Spade]

There are people just want to stay in prison. Right. Because they get drugs. Three. Three. And then they get to go run around and lift weights. Is that some people kind of like prison because of this?

[Joe Exotic]

A lot of them are. What do you call it?

[David Spade]

Lifers.

[Joe Exotic]

Conform to be, to, to this lifestyle.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's, it's. It's sort of a structured life that is, you know, when you get on the outside. That's why there's a lot of mental instability out in the real world more and more every day because it's just so hard to function in a regular society. But there, you got walls, you got meals, you got rules, and I guess you got drugs.

[David Spade]

And. And Mike Tyson said he had a blast in prison.

[Joe Exotic]

So it's a little different than. Than what you would picture. At least the prison that I'm in, because the prison that I'm in, there's. There's no doors, there's no bars. It's. It's open. Dorm.

[Dana Carvey]

College, you know, I like that floor plan.

[Joe Exotic]

Yeah. Movement every. Every hour, you know, for 10 minutes. You can go from. From place to place, you know, whether it's library or rec or chow hall or whatever. But it's pretty. It's pretty insane, the amount of drugs. You know, I made it 55 years without seeing heroin, K2, fentanyl, or Sebastian until I came to federal prison.

[Dana Carvey]

Were you tempted to get back on or were you ever on drugs and got off? I don't remember.

[Joe Exotic]

You know, that's the thing that I. That I. I saw. Finally saw Tiger King for the first time about four months ago.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, really?

[David Spade]

Oh, it was a great show. I mean, it was riveting. Right?

[Joe Exotic]

I was. I was pretty disgusted with it to start with because I, like, they made me out to be this big meth head, and I'm the only one on the show with teeth, wearing clothes.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, it's point.

[Joe Exotic]

That's kind of like. It's kind of like the. The show that Kate McKenna made, that was Joe versus Carol. Did you watch that?

[David Spade]

Yeah, I was. I was aware of it. I didn't watch. Was it more accurate or what from your point of view?

[Joe Exotic]

I mean, they made me out to be a whole lot more gayer than I am, you know, so you.

[David Spade]

But they made you super gay.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Joe Exotic]

If they. If they wanted to make money, they would have casted David to play me, because that guy that played me went way over the top, man.

[Dana Carvey]

Listen, I can do super gay. Just give me some notes.

[Joe Exotic]

It was, you know, before. Before they actually came out with that, they were gonna cast Nicolas Cage. And I was like, no, no, Nicholas Cage is too dry. I said, come on. I said, you want to. You want to have a real show? You gotta cast David Spade to play Joe Dirk.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. How about this? Here's my audition. You, Carol Baskin, you.

[David Spade]

I. I say you got it. I say we got. We got a Joe Exotic. We have to make A third movie.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, at least a callback.

[Joe Exotic]

We have that down. So, you know, I have three movie offers right now. And, you know, I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna make it out of here either with a pardon or on appeal this year, one or the other. So. Yeah, when. When we do this new show, we have got to team up. Classic.

[Dana Carvey]

Ah, yeah. I like. You have more movies than me and Dana do, and you're in jail. You've got three going.

[David Spade]

Okay. Yeah. What an agent?

[Dana Carvey]

Who's your agent? What about. Didn't you. Did your. You can't ask Trump, but did you. Some of your team or was that someone else not involved with you asking for a part?

[David Spade]

Federal prison?

[Joe Exotic]

I can ask Trump. What.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, for a pardon? Or did. Did some other people try to sort of help with that?

[Joe Exotic]

Well, you know, my people are allowed to record phone calls, so I've. I've made some pleas myself, you know, and then Jerry Jones's lawyer, the owner of the Cowboys.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[Joe Exotic]

Has done a press conference and made a plea to him. I've got. I've got an active clemency application, you know, in. In the White House now. And then. And then. The good thing is Enrique, I. I'm not sure if I'm saying his name right, but he's. He's pretty cool. He's the leader of the proud, proud boys. He's gonna be. He's gonna be in Mar a Lago at Marlogo Saturday, and he's going to talk to him about. Pardon.

[David Spade]

Okay, that's. I don't know if that sounds like a Saturday Night Live sketch.

[Dana Carvey]

What did you. By the way, who was the last person we talked to? Some people from Tiger King. I did before I couldn't get to you, but when I was on my old show, Lights out, and as. When was the last person to see you? Did anyone come in to visit you? Or is it. Or do you still stay in touch?

[Joe Exotic]

You know. You know what's crazy is the only person that has even checked on me was John Rinkey, the guy with no legs. The old manager. He checks on me pretty regularly, but other than that, nobody is even concerned themselves whether I'm dead or alive.

[David Spade]

If came to visit you and you were across the glass, what do you think that conversation would go like?

[Joe Exotic]

Carol had a conversation?

[David Spade]

Yeah. She came to visit you in prison and you two were talking. What would it be like, weird or another?

[Joe Exotic]

You know, the crazy part is me and Carol really didn't have that bad of a war going on. It was Just, she made money convincing people that I was an abuser because I abused baby tigers because I took them away from their mom. And I made money on my. My podcast, I guess you'd call it. It was actually just an online television show back then on Joe TV dot com. I made people. I made money because it was easy to make fun of her because she was just batshit crazy. And. And I know she killed her husband. You know, but that's where our war started, was when I started investigating Don Lewis's disappearance. And I kind of went to shit from there, but, you know, I could actually look Carol in. In the face, you know, right to this day, and the conversation would have to be like, you know, you might have put me in prison, but you didn't put me in a cage because I've never been in a. In an actual jail cell. But, you know, she threw me. She threw me in prison. Did this 1400 Disney in here. It's not that bad.

[David Spade]

Well. Well, if I go to prison, I'm going to find out how to do that. If you. If you could go back, like seven or eight, nine years, what would you have done different? Do you have any regrets of thinking of how you would have handled the whole situation?

[Joe Exotic]

I'd have never let Jeff Low in my life.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

He was toxic to you, or. What was the problem?

[Joe Exotic]

Well, Jeff Lowe was the scammer. You know, he conned his way into my zoo claiming that he was this millionaire, had all this money, you know, come to find out after. After he got his name on half the property he was supposed to invest $300,000. Kelly was behind on his car payments. He. He didn't have anywhere to live, you know, and then what has he got? He's. He's pretty much selling his wife on inst. On only fans to make a living now.

[Dana Carvey]

It's like a bad episode of Magnum P.I.

[Joe Exotic]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Dana Carvey]

So you and Carol were sort of more like wrestling at the beginning. Like, you know, it was sort of an exag rated version like enemies, but you're just hyping it up for the show. And then it took a turn when it always takes a turn for the worse if somebody gets killed. And then you mention that, and then it ups the stakes. And now it's now. Now she's really out for revenge. That's kind of it.

[Joe Exotic]

Yeah. You know, since. Since the. Since the show came out, since I've been arrested, you know, she's gotten on. On tmz. This call is from a federal Prison.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I think I saw on Kelly Clarkson. And yeah, she gets out there. You're right.

[Joe Exotic]

You know, she, she got out there and she actually rooted for pardon for me a couple years ago. And you know, and then about five months ago, she put on her YouTube channel two videos of her right hand girl and Alan Glover, the hitman, talking on a telephone and where Alan admitted that he lied about it all. So she's actually put evidence out there that's on my appeal right now that prove I'm innocent.

[David Spade]

So why did the hitman lie?

[Joe Exotic]

Well, you know, he worked for Jeff for so many years and I think Jeff has some pretty good dirt on him because he done all of Jeff's dirty work. And Jeff wanted my zoo so bad that I think he blackmailed Alan. You know, according to the, the affidavits and the, and the video deposition we have of Alan now, Jeff pretty much blackmailed him into, into doing this so Jeff could get the zoo.

[David Spade]

So what now? It, it said that you did you euthanized, I guess would be a kinder word, five tigers. But it was considered, made Carol really mad or what was that situation?

[Joe Exotic]

Okay, okay, I euthanized five tigers.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Joe Exotic]

And, and where the jury didn't never get a hear and explain anything was okay. I was licensed by the United States Department of Agriculture. Okay. And that's who allows you to have a zoo. And they're the ones who help you write your protocols, they're the ones who approve your protocols. They're the ones who approve everything you do. And my USDA inspector kept saying, Joe, you have 260 tigers. Why are you keeping these five alive? Because they're so old and they're crippled and they're in pain. So we came to the conclusion that we needed to go ahead and put them to sleep. There was two ways in the protocol to put them to sleep. By gunshot, or as long as it was done instantaneously.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[Joe Exotic]

Or by injection of a vet. Euthanizen by injection. Well, in order to have the vet euthanize them by injection, you have to tranquilize them first. So she can walk in a cage without getting killed. All right? So that takes about 45 minutes. And you have to keep tranquilizing them over and over and over and they have seizures and they have, they have all kinds of throwing up and everything else. So the vet just figured out that, you know what, let's just put them down with the gunshot and have it done in a half a second. So that's what we did. And we Buried him. Okay, well, the inspector that told us to do that couldn't be found to subpoena her for my trial, so the jury never got to hear her. Okay.

[David Spade]

Ah, I see. Yeah.

[Joe Exotic]

So they. They didn't. So they didn't charge me with animal abuse or cruelty to animals or anything else. They charged me with taking five endangered species without a permit because it wasn't the USDA who prosecuted me. It was a federal game warden that was working for Carol that arrested me. So it was like, you bitch. They charged me with going hunting without a permit, basically.

[David Spade]

Damn. Do you. Was there a plea deal at any point for less time and so forth and so on?

[Joe Exotic]

Never.

[David Spade]

Never a plea deal. So it was either straight guilt or innocence. And then they sentenced you to 21 years.

[Dana Carvey]

Oof.

[Joe Exotic]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Now, with good. Good behavior, I've already done seven. Would you reasonably be out anyway in a couple years or.

[Joe Exotic]

If I have to do all of this, I'll be out September of 2030.

[David Spade]

I see. Four. Four plus years or five years? I see you'll.

[Joe Exotic]

This phone beeped, and it's gonna hang up any second, so.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Joe Exotic]

I've wanted for years to be able to talk to you, David. It's just you're that big of an inspiration from your movie. You made. And this made my whole.

[Dana Carvey]

Right in the middle of his Oscar speech. Damn it.

[David Spade]

Well, it's. It's. It's. Obviously, you sound just like him, so he was enamored with you to play him in the movie. So it's. It's very interesting. And he just really wanted to meet you. I think you're his favorite comedian.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I heard a lot back then about him and, you know, when it was going on, but there was nothing anyone could do about it. But I do think his story is very interesting the more we hear about it, because it does sound like he was hyping it up a little bit before. And then it got very dark very fast. And I don't know what to make of it. It just. You know, on the surface, he seems like a cool dude to like.

[David Spade]

Well, it's supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. So the idea was they had to prove. They had to prove that he hired the hitman. I'd have to really look at the. The proof of that, because that was the linchpin, I think, for that, the euthanizing the tigers wouldn't have been seven years, but. But a hire for murder of Carole Baskin because he believes she murdered his husband. Her husband. So he was a vigilante at that point, kind of. Or. Or was he doing it? I mean, so in other words, that's the linchpin of the case. I'd have to look into it. I'm not an attorney, but.

[Dana Carvey]

No, but can you rep him?

[David Spade]

Well, I wanted to announce it today that Joe Exotic has hired me to represent him in a court of law, and we'll be doing.

[Dana Carvey]

I didn't get to ask him, did he gain weight? Did he lose weight? You know, some people go to prison. They. Most people get very skinny. He was very skinny. Anyway, some people shockingly gain weight, and then you think, well, that might make sense because the food's so horrible.

[David Spade]

It sounds, like, he says, like a college dorm. And you walk around a lot. They probably are fed. Well, I think it's your own choice, but I have heard that, yeah, drugs are rampant in prison and a lot of people want to stay in there. Anyway, I don't know enough about the case, but he got convicted in a court of law. Now he's in prison. But we'll see.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it's very interesting. We'll see in the YouTube comments, and we'll. We'll talk more about it next week because we'll hear their questions and. And see, you know, we can make from it what you can make from it. We. We asked some good questions.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I talked about the killing of the tigers and, you know, the.

[Dana Carvey]

Carol Baskin. I thought him. Him and Carol. It sounded like an awkward Tinder date at the beginning. You're like, what if you guys got to sit across from each other?

[David Spade]

What would you say?

[Dana Carvey]

But that's a good one. And also, he actually was friendlier about her than I would think, because after.

[David Spade]

All this, whatever happened, he's not. He wasn't doing. You do the impression, but with a B word.

[Dana Carvey]

Dana Carvey, you, Carol. LinkedIn is something we've all heard about. Dana, you've heard about. I've heard about it. And as a small business owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early.

[David Spade]

Nope.

[Dana Carvey]

The biz is on your mind 24 7. So when you're hiring, you need a partner that grinds it out as hard as you do. That hiring partner's LinkedIn jobs. When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in, makes it easy to post your job for free, share it with your network, and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place.

[David Spade]

I like it. This is a famous one. I think this is one of the first online job hiring entities, and it does make it easy. It's A pain in the bottom. You have to interview tons of people. They don't work out. You post your job. LinkedIn's new feature can help you write the job description and then quick get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you don't have to know much. They're going to, like, walk you through it. It's, you know, you don't have time to even, like, figure out how to do this. You just, you know, post your job for free. Or you can pay to promote it. Promoted Jobs gets three times more qualified applicants. You get qualified candidates. I've always heard this. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality of candidates. You want the right people. With LinkedIn, you can feel confident you're getting the best.

[David Spade]

That's right. Based on LinkedIn data, 72% of SMBs using LinkedIn say that LinkedIn helps them find high quality candidates.

[Dana Carvey]

Listen, you share it with your network. You can let your network know you're hiring. You can even add hashtag hiring frame for your profile picture and get two times more qualified candidates.

[David Spade]

If you're curious, David, what can they do?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you find out why more than 2 1/2 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring. Find your next great hire. Post your job for [e-mail] candidates that's LinkedIn.com candidates to post your job for free. What applies though?

[David Spade]

Dana Terms and conditions this episode is.

[Dana Carvey]

Brought to you by Ring, Cameras and doorbells. A lot happens while you're away from home. That's why Ring makes it easy to check in from anywhere. Whether you're saying hi to an unexpected guest, making sure those packages are safe, or keeping your pets company while you're out grabbing groceries, it's all a few taps away right from your phone. Be there with Ring Explore cameras, doorbells, alarm kits and more. Right [e-mail] everyone I know is on the road. They always are. Like, we stayed in an Airbnb and that's just a more common thing you hear all the time. It's. Hotels are great, but come on, I mean, when you can just pick everything about it you want. Like, here's my hotel today. They didn't even give me my breakfast. Like, Airbnb, wake up. Whip it up in your kitchen.

[David Spade]

Yeah, and get a kitchen, get a pool, whatever you want. And it's all custom. And you just go online and you see how it's rated and what people like. And so I guess I'm going to say it's just freedom.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Listen, you got more space, more privacy. You can be closer to where you want to be.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I was staying at really nice hotels that I like in this area that we would go to. And then we found like a little house. So you kind of had a house, you know, and it was spotless. And you just drive up and you get the key out of this thing. You go in and there's a bottle of wine and a note and it's just a great experience.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. The people don't have to, I don't think. But they always seem to put little extras in there for you for your next adventure. People listening. Maybe give it a try. They won't regret it. You make the switch from traditional hotels and let us know if he comes out and does a dating show or. He and Carole Baskin live together. Like, you know.

[David Spade]

Well, I was gonna pitch him Joe Exotic. Naked and afraid. He's in this enclosure. It's like three miles across. Like, you know, some kind of. There's tigers in there. And can he survive with no weapons or anything? Just with his intellect? Can he.

[Dana Carvey]

Can he become the tiger king and he gets killed?

[David Spade]

It's just a. We could shoot a pilot in the prison.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, let's do a spill to a sizzle. I do like all the pitches, though.

[David Spade]

I just want to talk like that. You will.

[Dana Carvey]

Cheryl Baskin, she came in here. I can't remember the funniness of the show, but I remember everyone was into it. The whole goddang country was into it. Well, and it's good for follow up.

[David Spade]

Redneck Heaven. Yeah, we just wanted to follow it up. I. We didn't want to, you know, take sides in any way. I was just curious, you know. So we let, we let our viewers decide.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, he didn't. We let YouTube comments decide, but he didn't really sound like it was the most horrible place in the world. You know, I kind of. He was. Had a good attitude about that.

[David Spade]

You can walk every hour. I guess there's.

[Dana Carvey]

There's.

[David Spade]

You probably lift weights in the yard. I just know from the movies and stuff like that. But it sounds like a low security or minimum security prison. It's not like Rikers Island.

[Dana Carvey]

I wonder if there was any other famous people in there, you know, that do like these mid level crimes. So they don't really go to the hard prisons and they get sort of scared.

[David Spade]

Key Diddy and Harvey Weinstein and others are kind of together.

[Dana Carvey]

Sam Bankman, that clown.

[David Spade]

Yeah, they're all in Rikers island having Lunch together. How you doing, Sam? What's up, P?

[Dana Carvey]

It's always like there's some pretty cool people in here. And you're like, those guys aren't cool.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh my God, it's so early. Dana.

[David Spade]

I know you saw our producers question Pound Puppy.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, what else can we talk about? Dana, we got a lot, a lot to cover. We could talk. We're going to switch gears here.

[David Spade]

We were, I was just about say, going to say something about the astronauts until we are interrupted by.

[Dana Carvey]

I was saying they get. They don't make that much up there but we're going to find out about.

[David Spade]

Well, I say they should have a, a stranded addendum to their contract. Stranded.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They will get it now.

[David Spade]

They'll get a quarter million a month each for every month. Because what happens is without zero gravity that long. I'm not saying specifically their case and I hope they end up fantastic. You get baby feet because there's no push off with gravity. So your feet turn into little rolled up soft baby feet. Your heart gets smaller and I'm hoping that they can get build that back up. You the grinch, you grow 2 to 3 inches taller.

[Dana Carvey]

That much?

[David Spade]

Yeah. That long in space because your spine is never. Sign me up compressed, you'd come out six.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's go.

[David Spade]

Six, two, smile.

[Dana Carvey]

I'll cancel my trip to Turkey where I saw my legs off and add four.

[David Spade]

All those, that whole thing, you know what I say a good, good pair of boots and confidence is all anybody needs.

[Dana Carvey]

No way. Good parents not doing enough good pair. I don't even wear boots. That's what I should do.

[David Spade]

We'll talk like this. We'll talk later.

[Dana Carvey]

But those astronauts. Yeah, I heard you get taller but these are other things I didn't know, I didn't know about the baby feet.

[David Spade]

Baby feet heart gets a little smaller but they, you know, another six months. I mean it is good that Elon got up there. Now here's again I. You guys can put your comments in. So Elon Musk says that he was ready to rescue them earlier, but it was completely the Biden administration that sort of stopped that from happening. I don't know if that's true. That's what I heard. Heard. So that's kind of interesting.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh really? Let's cut to the comments.

[David Spade]

Give us comments.

[Dana Carvey]

We'll read some next week. We don't read enough on the air. We'll read some. I read them and they're usually pretty nice. I said they're usually pretty good. And then this couple get in there. A couple get in there to. Sometimes they're just attention seekers.

[David Spade]

Well, it's. You're going to get. I don't think anyone has ever gotten a five star consistently no on. On a podcast because there's going to be some zeros in there. You know what? Fuck these guys, man. You know, it's just human nature. If it's 5.0, it's fake.

[Dana Carvey]

Just go against the grain. But I have a question about podcasts that before we start in other stuff. And I also bought a truck over the break.

[David Spade]

God, you can't.

[Dana Carvey]

Was there.

[David Spade]

Good for you.

[Dana Carvey]

I cannot stop.

[David Spade]

Can't. I want. I actually kind of want to buy a truck because I sort of live on a farm. But we'll get to that in a sec.

[Dana Carvey]

I know my buddy goes, what are you hauling? I go, mostly hats and coats.

[David Spade]

Well, it's just. Look, they did a thing and this is not a thing I'm making up. They put a man standing next to just a regular sedan. They put the same man standing next to a pickup truck and then they did a poll with women and they're like 87 more attracted to the guy standing next to maybe that pickup truck. Do the math.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, that's what I'm going for. Yeah, I. But I go and bring it. Bring a trailer sometimes to get trucks. I go all over. I go on Instagram, I DM these people, these sites. Once you get on I'm, I'm into cars. So I get like, oh, it's always old.

[David Spade]

Well, what it. What was.

[Dana Carvey]

Was trucks from the 70s. These old fashioned 250s.

[David Spade]

I had dinner with a guy last night whose favorite car is the. The Camino or is it called the El camino from the 60s. That's sort of like the first kind of a flatbed truck, but also kind of. So those are sedan and he collects them. It was like has one 1965. Loves it.

[Dana Carvey]

You know who drives an El Camino? You'll never guess.

[David Spade]

Juan Corona.

[Dana Carvey]

Marky in Busboy is my character.

[David Spade]

Oh, see, you knew and I knew and I didn't know that ahead of time, folks. This is not rehearsal. I did not know that. But I kind of figured that you would be a Camino guy.

[Dana Carvey]

El Camino. I think John Stamos used to have enough.

[David Spade]

You should have. Are your. Is your character called Joe Dirt? But you never refer to it. That would have been funny.

[Dana Carvey]

It's funny that that Joe Exotic brought up. Brought up Joe Dirt. So I can see that busboys has some similarities that I am ready for already. It's really underdog stuff. You know what I mean? So there's. There's themes in movies. The Greatest does a lot of that.

[David Spade]

It was back in the Caddyshack days and stuff. It was called snobs versus Slobs, and it's the blue collar people versus the elite. And yeah, Adam does that. And Happy Gilmore, he's got the nemesis is all Ivy League. And Sandler's like, I don't lose in a garbage can and just hits the garbage. You know, just the crazy clothes. And he steps up to it like he's a baseball player. I mean, it's incredibly charming. And water boy was another brilliant example of the, you know, the guy who has nothing going on, but he can tackle harder than. Than any human.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah. It's good if you're extra tough, too.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know how tough I am in bus Boys, but I will say. Okay, so I was telling you about a truck. Bring a trailer. I will say it's. It's very. It's getting more complicated to buy it. It used to be click, click, buy, buy, bing, bing. They should make it a lot easier, honestly, because people would buy more quicker.

[David Spade]

Well, who vet.

[Dana Carvey]

It's still good.

[David Spade]

Are they vetted? I mean, do you go look at them and kick the tires, so to speak?

[Dana Carvey]

The problem with the new world of buying stuff is it moves quickly. Started Barrett Jackson. I used to go to that in Arizona. And then it's once a year. And you walk around, you look at them. The days of actually driving to meet someone in the Safeway parking lot. And then you sit in the car and you drive it around. Yeah, they're not over, but it's also a little more dangerous. But you really have to know what you're doing because most the cars bought now are, for me, our online auction or bring a trailer or bear it. And you don't sit in them and you don't drive them. And that's the two things you really need to do.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I think that would be very important.

[Dana Carvey]

Neck. And you sit like this. So if you do that, you need to do it. So sometimes I go sit in one of that type, so I kind of know what I'm getting and drive it. And then if I get a really good version of that kind, then I'll have the right.

[David Spade]

And are the sellers rated, like a Uber driver? Like. Like trustworthy? You can look online to get that right.

[Dana Carvey]

Sometimes on bring a trailer, they have a comment section during the seven day auction. And it's 90% like mechanics and car people. So they just. Can you check the phalange on that and show me a close up? I think there might be something a little itchy about it. And then they really like troubleshoot it almost for you. But this is getting too boring. Other than that I will say. Well, I. I saw. Go ahead, you follow up.

[David Spade]

Oh, I just wanted to say that, you know trucks and this and that and motorcycles, but you see a guy with a truck, it's like, okay, cool. You know, and then it don't got no muffler and so it just starts it up and it feels like the car is saying, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a.

[Dana Carvey]

Man, I'm a man, I'm a man.

[David Spade]

I'm a man, I'm a man, man, man, I'm a man, man, man. Then they put on Surfing usa. Surfing usa. I'm a man, man, man, man, man.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm. I'm a man.

[David Spade]

Yeah. If you can't start the car, it's like I'm impendent. I can't get it up. So that's not good. You wanted to. What's your best V8? Starting up sound effect. Get on the mic.

[Dana Carvey]

I could. I could do more of a jet Ski.

[David Spade]

Stop. Stop doing that.

[Dana Carvey]

There's water in it. Is that bad one?

[David Spade]

No, it's just. That's funny. That is if it, it triggered me.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, motorcycle.

[David Spade]

I've been doing a character called Sound Effecty, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

Walks across the grass. We've done this before.

[Dana Carvey]

Jesus.

[David Spade]

Opens the car door, adjusts through a rear view mirror, starts it up. I'm a minute. Windshield wipers with no rain.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, with no rain. It's like this. You turn them off and then about 10 minutes later you go, oh, are they still going?

[David Spade]

That's the Intermittent Man. And you're like, oh, this is good. Then it starts to pour. You go back to full tilt. Then you go down. It's a brain twister. I don't need this game.

[Dana Carvey]

I can't win.

[David Spade]

Here's the world's worst sound effect comedian.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Walk across the grass. Open the door. Adjust the rear view mirror. He's terrible. He has one effect.

[Dana Carvey]

That'S not bad.

[David Spade]

You're. You're the king of that. Come on now, king. All right.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, so one quick thing about podcast. I got a new name for Gavin Newsoms.

[David Spade]

Oh. Because you know what Trump calls him?

[Dana Carvey]

What does he call him?

[David Spade]

He Goes. And he says it in a throwaway. He doesn't even emphasize it. Gavin Newscom. Gavin Newscomb is coming up.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. He calls him New Scum. He's got a podcast where he.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know. But what does he do? I guess. I guess they take calls to see how much to raise our taxes. But this. This is the name. Ready? I can't believe it was right there for him. Gavin Newscomb. Gavin Newsom. Gavin.

[David Spade]

Gavin. I'll say. Here's a new nickname. Almost like a rapper. Sam. I'm calling the Human Pivot because he is. He's come out against men playing in women's sports. It's a little shaky for a Democrat. And he's also had, I think Charlie Kirk, which is a famous podcaster, is conservative on his show. So I'm calling him the Human Pivot.

[Dana Carvey]

He's okay.

[David Spade]

He's pivoting to the center for 20, 28. 2020, 2028. You got to get right down that middle.

[Dana Carvey]

So he's going to run for president? Is that the idea?

[David Spade]

Oh, my God. They're all. They all want to be president. Every single politician at one point was probably president of the senior class.

[Dana Carvey]

And then they want a power position. Jesus.

[David Spade]

But once you go in the Oval Office with the president, you go, really? This numbskull is. This knucklehead is the president, no matter who it is. You meet Biden. I'm going to meet the President. United States. Mommy. He's not like I thought he'd be.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, let's get to the big stories of the day. Okay, Keep doing Biden. We'll get to.

[David Spade]

I'm being serious. Okay, Big stories. Here we go.

[Dana Carvey]

Wait. Oh, Starbucks ordered to pay. This drives me crazy. I saw this story. 50 million to a guy burned by hot tea. Now, if it burns your wiener, I'm all in. But it always feels excessive because let's say at the drive through window, the girl gives it to him and it spills. If it is not your wiener of a very, very strong stance. If it's your legs, third degree burns. How many people would take third degree burns for on their legs or a million dollars? I bet almost everyone would take. No, not everyone. Yeah, a lot of people take a million dollars, right?

[David Spade]

But 50, that what I would say it was, right? The face is melted, and then it matriculates to, as you call it, wiener.

[Dana Carvey]

Peeling skin off, screaming. Yeah, and maybe crash your car.

[David Spade]

And do they really get 50 million? Isn't it kind of like a thing?

[Dana Carvey]

And Then they look at the bottom. Well, they ordered to pay 50 million. I don't know.

[David Spade]

I mean it seems like in order.

[D]

To pay $50 million in a burn in injury case out of LA county, the jury delivered that verdict against.

[Dana Carvey]

She's very serious. She looks like Julie Bowen.

[D]

Happened in February.

[David Spade]

Okay, here we are.

[D]

20 video shows an employee handing an array of hot drinks, including hot tea at the drive through. But a cup was unsecured and it then fell into the line. Tiff Michael Garcia. He suffered third degree burns to his genitals. The jury found Starbucks liable for his injuries. Starbucks issued a statement disagreeing with.

[Dana Carvey]

Once you get the genitals. The grossest word.

[David Spade]

Well, were they curable? The gen. I mean, grafting. We should. Let's get deep into this. Could they have made everything all good again? Down.

[Dana Carvey]

People will still do it. Take away my genitals. I'm not using them anymore. Take away and give me 3 million. How much for your genitals?

[David Spade]

I know. Then you go, what would blow for your genitals? It's hard not to sound drunk saying the word genitals. Your honor. Your honor, I just want to say to the court that is genitals. Have you been drinking, sir? You sound like you're drunk.

[Dana Carvey]

It is a sexy word. I like when girls go, let's see them genitals.

[David Spade]

You have a chest. You have. Instead of fantastic, you have a testicular. Imagination.

[Dana Carvey]

It's testicular.

[David Spade]

It's a testicular. Let's see.

[Dana Carvey]

Another thing I have Dana, I have a lot to say about this. The poor girl I just saw, I thought the guy wasn't close enough to the window. Now play it again. Like this is a pruder film. The.

[David Spade]

So he had to do a big she.

[Dana Carvey]

He also made a stipulation that from now on they offered him. Oh, they offered him 30 million. And he said no. He said, I'll take 30. It as a settlement if you. If they make every employee screw on the cup or make a new way to do it for the tops to make them secure.

[David Spade]

Right.

[Dana Carvey]

And they said no. And so they risked it, but they had to pay 50.

[David Spade]

But watch this.

[Dana Carvey]

This poor girl trying to bust her up, make her living. Yeah, he's working hard. Look how far that car is.

[D]

Yeah, his genitals.

[Dana Carvey]

Am I crazy?

[D]

Starbucks liable for his.

[David Spade]

It looked from our angle.

[Dana Carvey]

Look how far she's. She's full plank sticking armor.

[D]

Genitals. The jury, Michael Garcia. He sucked.

[David Spade]

The thing they don't tell you is this genitals. Something like this happens genitals 47 times a day at Starbucks worldwide. So they're paying 50 million a day. And that's why they're the stock markets being cruel to them. Here's my thing that always. I always ask, what would blow the jury away. They get in there and some guy goes, starbucks. I say we give them 80 million. And they're like, are you nuts? 80? I say we give 60. That's insane. Finally they get to the guy going, how about 50? That's more like it. That's. That's a nice.

[Dana Carvey]

Now we're talking.

[David Spade]

It's reasonable.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, his head's screwed on. This is 50. Feels good. I listen, I know Starbucks is rich, okay, but that poor girl's gonna get fired. Those jobs are tough too, by the way. Just like lining them up. Anyway, we're on this story too long. Yeah, Heather's stretching and I know when she stretches, that means next year.

[David Spade]

Oh, when she. Yeah, she starts doing yoga. Yeah. Okay, that was 20 minutes on that one.

[Dana Carvey]

Yoga. Look at this transition.

[David Spade]

Oh, wow. Bill Belichick and Jordan Hudson beach day. Okay, so Bill, Bill Belichick, the famous coach and his. Him, his girlfriend. He's 73, she's 23. Just have to say it. They're on their backs, both of them. No, I don't understand.

[Dana Carvey]

Look at the second picture. He's on his back. It looks like his legs go straight all the way to the knee. Looks like a grasshopper.

[David Spade]

He's on his back and she's sitting on his feet. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

That better not be in her genitals.

[David Spade]

I don't know what to make of this.

[Dana Carvey]

That's on her hip bones, but it looks a little too much like, hey, dad, put me up. You know what I think is, I'm all for them having a slight age gap.

[David Spade]

I don't care about it.

[Dana Carvey]

She's three, he's 500. Now that's fine. But I will say he the. To me, he was the once. Absolutely no attention coach out of just regular coaches. Every press conference moving on to Cleveland next week, you know.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And she's an influencer. So we see who won in this combo.

[David Spade]

He was called the grumpy lobster man because he wore this cut off sweatshirt when he was a coach.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[David Spade]

A man of his three quarter sleeve. And now he's got this high flying, sexually charged influencer.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, she's charged.

[David Spade]

She weighs probably 115 pounds. So he, he can at least squat that. It's a reverse squat. I find this curious. Am I disturbed.

[Dana Carvey]

The strongest Dana will say is curious.

[David Spade]

I'm saying I don't know what to make of them. If she's of age to consent, I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

Listen, she weighs 115. Even with my carry Underwood legs, I could, I could toss her across that beach in two seconds. I'm strong.

[David Spade]

And then the comments, they say she calls him daddy.

[Dana Carvey]

So Daddy minimum.

[David Spade]

No Granddaddy? No. Grandpa. No. No.

[Dana Carvey]

Heather, I'm coming back and I'm putting my hat back on.

[David Spade]

God bless them all. All right.

[Dana Carvey]

My hair is not great today, Dan. And we're not going to over talk about it.

[David Spade]

I, I start, I got up at 5am to work on this. So it looks I'm not fine. Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

This show, I like this show today. It's fun.

[David Spade]

I don't want to be identified as being in this time and place with you. Scarlett Johansson on why she refuses to take photos with fans in public.

[Dana Carvey]

Now this is a great subject because first of all, we'll start with we all love Scarlett Johansson.

[David Spade]

She's, she is amazing.

[Dana Carvey]

Super sweet. Known her off and on over the years. Always friendly.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I talked to her a lot when I was in New York.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. The 50th. We did a, she was in a sketch. It wasn't like we were in it together.

[David Spade]

She actually came up to me at one of the parties and she just had her hair up and was dressed different. And she's smaller than you think because she plays, you know, superstar heroes and she's talking to me for 10 minutes and then I finally went, oh, oh, you're Scarlett Joanne. I didn't know. Yeah, I thought she was.

[Dana Carvey]

But she's, that shows she's quite unassuming for being. Yeah. Stunner. But she, she did Suddenly E bike, Heather, Remember Suddenly E Bike that was on the 50th. But the, the interesting big question is what do you do with fans that want pictures? And she really, I think it's ballsy that she comes out and says she doesn't take pictures in public. Well, she'll take them, I think on a red carpet or at an event when it's work about the movie. But she's trying to have a regular life and this rubs people wrong. And some people it rubs right. And some people it rubs their genitals.

[David Spade]

But there's a whole lot of rubbing going on.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I, I, okay, here's what else she says. I like to be in my own thoughts that have nothing to do with what other people think of me. I don't like being self conscious. It is true. Dana, you know this. Whenever you take a picture, you go, I. I don't even want to say it's bad lighting. I don't want to say I look like today. Because they always go, no, you don't. You look great. It's. Who care? It's just give me that picture. I don't care anything. I'm like, I've got blood on my face. I've got an actual live bloody nose. Just take it. It's fine. You look great. So I get. I get just. I was with a famous person who wouldn't take pictures.

[David Spade]

We were hanging out.

[Dana Carvey]

No, you take. You're very nice.

[David Spade]

Well, you were nice. I. I'm too nice. I mean, Scarlett Johansson is different. She's a movie star. She's in Marvel movies. She's globally famous.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

And here is, here's what I want to add to this, which I really discourage, is that now sometimes people will then just start taking video of. Of you. You're walking down the street without permission, and they'll make a tick tock out of it. Scarlett Johansson looks sad or whatever.

[Dana Carvey]

So looks sad. Why is she so bummed today? Most people are looking at paparazzi and make that face because they just realized the fun's over. There's someone following them and filming them. So they go, ooh, they weren't in a good mood today. It's like, well, yeah, they just saw you. So why are they chipping?

[David Spade]

And the problem is that someone like that, or really big famous people, obviously Brad Pitt or whatever, they start doing that, they draw a crowd and then they may be there for an hour. It's literally, logistically impossible. The thing that I would do, and maybe people do it and we don't know, but you can get a prosthetic nose which changes a face so radically that just sort of almost just goes right on like that. And walk around invisible. And I bet people do that.

[Dana Carvey]

Sure.

[David Spade]

And they run. You don't know it, and then you don't know it. They walk amongst us.

[Dana Carvey]

Heather, the place where I get my prosthetic wieners. Will you see if they have noses? Thanks. On it. Dana. Also, she's very pretty and she's always getting attention for being pretty anyway. Like Zendaya, you add in famous and it's too much.

[David Spade]

I do think that men on the. On the horny, inappropriate side, predatory side, obviously, it's. It's bigger than women being predatory the other way. Although it happens, I mean, often thought that. Why do women chase Pop stars like the Beatles used to get 300 women chasing them. But if they'd stopped and turned around, the women wouldn't. They would have stopped. But. So women have a different kind of lane for what we call creeps.

[Dana Carvey]

Sure.

[David Spade]

And.

[Dana Carvey]

And she's exponentially worse.

[David Spade]

Especially. You're playing she. She plays leading actress, the very attractive femme fatale in the movie. And this can get people crazy. So I have a lot of empathy. They just want to be artists. They did not plan on what was going to happen and, you know, just try to respect them. When I was a kid and when I first saw a famous person, I didn't go up to him. I could just tell. I saw Michael Landon from Bonanza in a restaurant, and I got. No, I'm not going to go over. You can just sort of tell they would rather be left alone.

[Dana Carvey]

My first one. My first instinct was, you owe me. You owe me.

[David Spade]

I know.

[Dana Carvey]

And then I go and rub their genitals. You know, when we were in Fantasy Springs, Dana, you were very. Remember, we went to dinner. We get a lot of. That was. That was our own fault. We ate it. You know, when you work at the same place where you're doing a show, it draws attention.

[David Spade]

I never do that.

[Dana Carvey]

We eat there. We ate there.

[David Spade]

I have to say, like, I don't really have a face. And I've told people this before. It's. It's very benign. If I'm like this and I change my lower jaw to Mickey Rourke, no one sees me. So I can walk around. But with David with the trucker hat. What's up, everybody? Everybody. It's like walking around Disneyland with a guy dressed as Mickey Mouse. I mean, everyone. You are fine, bias, but you're very nice to your fans. You're casual.

[Dana Carvey]

We were nice in the airport. We're nice to everybody. Yeah, but we took. I was saying we were taking so many pictures. The funniest thing is at dinner, I never do this, and I don't want to bring any attention to you, but can I climb on your shoulders just for one second?

[David Spade]

It is funny when you're in mid bite. Excuse me. I hate to. I'm like, oh.

[Dana Carvey]

And they're like. And then they. One lady was just standing there because people kept coming up. One stood back. So I said I was eating, and I go, are you bringing us backstage? I go, we're almost done. We're gonna pay up. And she's like, okay. And then when I went over to her, she goes, can I get a picture? I go, aren't you. Don't you work here? And she goes, well, why are you saying. Why are you standing?

[David Spade]

I had a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs with extra sauce. And I heard, I hate to do this. So I just dove my face into the spaghetti meatballs and I turned and it was just dripping off my face. She goes, you're not Dana Garfo. So.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, you're Carrie from the movie.

[David Spade]

Look up Master Disguise. And one of the first scenes where my character Pistachio spills spaghetti and meatballs on the. On the people, all over their faces and they're frozen like cartoon characters.

[Dana Carvey]

We never show clips.

[David Spade]

If we could show a clip, that'd be awesome.

[Dana Carvey]

No, we can't. I couldn't.

[David Spade]

My own movie.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, one more.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I don't know. We're doing good.

[David Spade]

It's. It's amazing.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, oh, oh. Okay, play this.

[David Spade]

Everyone on Earth peed into the Grand Canyon.

[Joe Exotic]

You might think it would fill up, unless if.

[David Spade]

If Grand Canyon can hold about 1.2 quadrillion gallons. And the average person.

[Dana Carvey]

Is this a tick tock?

[David Spade]

So if all 8 billion people peed time, they'd only add about 4 billion gallons of pee.

[Dana Carvey]

At that rate, everyone peed. Wouldn't fill it up.

[David Spade]

Everyone on Earth is peeing in the Grand Canyon for 800,000 years to fill it up.

[Dana Carvey]

That's. I would have bet the under. Wow.

[David Spade]

That. That is. That is one big canyon, I'll tell you that.

[Dana Carvey]

I like how it just starts, this peeing in the Grand Canyon. And what's this story? I guess it's if everyone peed, this.

[David Spade]

Is what, you know. Elon Musk is trying to stop. It was $2 billion to these scientists to figure out if everyone on Earth. It took him seven years to get the number. 800,000 years just to be on one.

[Dana Carvey]

TikTok where we all.

[David Spade]

You had a study where you said it would take the entire Earth 800,000 years to fill up the Grand Canyon. You got paid to figure that out. Your words, not mine.

[Dana Carvey]

And you're mad we're cutting that out of the budget.

[David Spade]

What else are you working on? What's the next one? If everyone pooed in the Mississippi river, It would take 2 million years to fill it up with poo and faces. Now can we have a billion dollars for our study?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, and let me get my puke bucket.

[David Spade]

If everybody puked into the Grand Canyon, we don't know the answer. Could we get half million dollars?

[Dana Carvey]

Your words, not mine.

[David Spade]

Your words, not mine. Your p. Not theirs.

[Dana Carvey]

Your Study. Is that where all the money is going that Doge is trying to get?

[David Spade]

I don't know. I'm do. I'm doja myself.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, I guess we end on that little fizzler, but I think so.

[David Spade]

It was a fizz. That was a fizzy fizzle. But, you know, Joe Dirt, 2, 3, Joe Exotic.

[Dana Carvey]

Is that what you want?

[David Spade]

Well, we had Joe exotic on if you. If you just click toward the end so you can hear more ads.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, if you want the ads.

[David Spade]

Hey, man, it's called a post roll. I don't think it is. I don't think we have a post roll. We just say good night, Cleveland. But. So he fanned out on David. This should be in the introduction, but that was kind of fun. He really is a fan of yours.

[Dana Carvey]

I did like hearing about that during the. One of the few.

[David Spade]

It was fun things. It was a 15 minute interview. We couldn't see him from some federal.

[Dana Carvey]

We tried to get video for people asking. We tried to get video and yeah, they. They said no. So.

[David Spade]

And we heard someone behind me go, can I get the phone? I just want to call my mother.

[Dana Carvey]

I wanted to ask him, is he always nervous of getting beat up or something? I would be worried, like, someone's out to get you, you know.

[David Spade]

Oh, definitely. You got. We have to create alliances. You have to get the boyfriend.

[Dana Carvey]

We didn't ask any of this stuff.

[David Spade]

I know. Well, yeah, we're the worst. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. Well, always next time.

[David Spade]

There's always next.

[Dana Carvey]

Thanks, everybody.

[David Spade]

Thanks, everybody.

[Dana Carvey]

Dana, see you.

[David Spade]

See you next time. And thanks. Thanks for listening and watching.

[Dana Carvey]

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.