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David Spade
Dana, it's award season, which means we're due for some classic red carpet combos like strapless dresses and statement necklaces or acclaimed directors and long acceptance speeches.
Dana Carvey
But you know what look always pairs perfectly together. Discover and cash back. You see, Discover automatically matches all the cash back you've earned at the end of the first year, which is a.
David Spade
Look that will always serve. It pays to slay. It pays to Discover. See terms@discover.com credit card. This is the time. It's very sunny in LA right now. And this is the time when everyone's talking about traveling. I'm actually starting to travel to go on the road. But, you know, you got to get Quince involved because you need a quality suitcase at an economy price tag from quints.
Dana Carvey
You gotta love quints and, you know, gotta love it. I'm gonna treat myself to some luxury upgrades. You know, they have these lightweight shirts and shorts. David. From $30 pants. Any kind of pants or any kind of occasion. And the main occasion? Yes. The main thing is they have comfortable lounge sets. So you want clothes that you can travel in that feel comfortable. That's all I'm trying to say.
David Spade
I like when we're hanging out and you're always talking about which lounge sets you're wearing.
Dana Carvey
I love having a good lounge set. And that's where Quince comes in.
David Spade
That's where they come in. They got premium luggage. Opt durable duffel bags to carry all this stuff.
Dana Carvey
Gotta have it.
David Spade
Best part, all Quint's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.
Dana Carvey
By partnering by Howdy. Partner in directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman. You know about this? And passes the savings on to us.
David Spade
Yeah, that's what you want. They work with factories that use safe, ethical, responsible manufacturing practices. Premium fabrics and finishes. That's what you want. You know, this is. This is what you got to do. So for your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades that you deserve from quince. Go to quince.com fly for a 365 day return. Wow. They got returns the whole year, plus.
Dana Carvey
Free shipping on your order. That's Q U I n c e.com fly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com fly.
David Spade
I think we're starting, Uncle Albert. We're so starting.
Dana Carvey
Go.
David Spade
What a rough, bad joke to start with. Yeah, well, buddy, so bad.
Dana Carvey
It's kind of hip. I'm gonna go with that.
David Spade
Yeah, I'm dark again because I'm wearing black. But that's okay.
Dana Carvey
You have a little bit of blue. Otherwise. Yeah, you'd be. If you painted that wall black and wore that, you'd be a floating head. And there's nothing wrong with that.
David Spade
I will paint it different color. I look awesome. It was my own Brightness is down. People like to see this. Bts.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, the whole light thing is interesting. You know, sometimes too much light ain't good.
David Spade
Yeah, yours looks really good. But you like. You have the window right there and I. It's too bright for me to stare into a window. I think. Just so the people at home know all my ailments.
Dana Carvey
News flash. Finally got curtains. Whoa. So the curtains are. Now I. You know, I know this is a multi million dollar. Well, actually we're the comedy podcast of the year and. But technically we're just sort of diy. But I have a curtain that. It's darker in here than normal.
David Spade
Holy. I didn't get cc'd on this. So you bought curtains in the last week?
Dana Carvey
No, my wife had to order them from France. They took six months. I don't know what it is. So when I would take a nap, I'd have bright sun right on my face. I'm trying to snooze now. It's fantastic. Oh, yeah.
David Spade
Oh, I have. I went farther than that. But I do have drapes. Different word for curtains.
Dana Carvey
Drapes are good. Okay, Here's a little insert on drapes.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
One of the first regular comedians I ever saw, Mark Miller. I'm just going to little comedy clubs. I didn't Unknown comics. I didn't know anything about anything. His killer line was, sometimes I wonder where the custom of urinating on drapes came from. Something like that. I thought, God, that's brilliant.
David Spade
It's funny. I did comedy and magic club last night to bless you to prep for Boston and somewhere. What is it in New Jersey? Heather. The name Evanston maybe. No, she doesn't know.
Dana Carvey
Let's promote those gigs.
David Spade
Yeah, I've got those in my next one.
Dana Carvey
I want them to go clean.
David Spade
I got clean. I got. Oh, I got Omaha. Des Moines is almost full low ticket warning.
Dana Carvey
Get him. Why you can't. You are hot. I'm just gonna say it. After landing the for sure we have confirmation. The most popular single moment of 50 years of Saturday Night Live. The special from three or four different guests that saying. So at this point it's a known fact that for the 50th year, it wasn't Lauren's show. It wasn't, you know, John Mulaney all the superstars stuff. Steve Martin. It was David, our own David Spade from the bleachers, spontaneously saying, yeah, I.
David Spade
Gotta feel for it.
Dana Carvey
It's kind of an honor in a way. I mean, we already got Comedy Podcast of the year from Iheart, and now we've got the number one line spoken.
David Spade
Oh, yeah. No, I'd like to hear that from the guests. That always feels good. Because when you go all the way out there and you want to hang out there, you just want anything, a line, anything. So I'm excited.
Dana Carvey
By the way, for those of you who missed those episodes. We don't bring it up. I certainly wouldn't. Out of envy and jealousy.
David Spade
I would never bring it up.
Dana Carvey
We never bring it up. The guest brings it up and then we talk about it for a half hour. But we've never brought it up. Except today, because someone yesterday brought it up.
David Spade
Oh, well, I appreciate it. And I'm. I will tell you, I'm going. Heather says I'm going to Burger New Jersey. Bergen. Jeez, we can't even get it right at all. I thought it was called Evans Center Performing Art Center. Oh, bur.
Dana Carvey
Are you going off market? I mean, are you going into. I mean, where you're going to town now. You used to play Pittsburgh, Chicago, Miami, and now you're in Bergen, New Jersey.
David Spade
I mean, no, you know what I haven't done in a while? Pittsburgh and Toronto. And those two are going to be on the list to get to. Because when I announce tour dates, all people do is say, why aren't you coming to this city? Blah, blah, blah. But I've hit a lot of them. I, you know, I just did Theo's podcast the other. It's not on till May 6th because that's when the Amazon special is. So it's going to coordinate with that. But we laugh. God, what was I going to say about that podcast? We laughed a lot. He gives you high praise, of course. Always. Dana gets it from all sides.
Dana Carvey
He is a really good person. I'll say that from personal experience.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah. And he's running around LA now, so we're editing that my week. I did one corpy. And Dana and I, if you don't know, we voice text each other every day a bunch of dumb stuff. We actually try to put work into this podcast. It does not seem like it, but we do.
Dana Carvey
It's possible because I never erase anything, that we would eventually release all of our tapes, all of our walkie talkie chats. Because when, when, when people in the room like my wife and stuff, or my son. They hear them, they just think they're so funny. Because we're just really being real.
David Spade
Right? Because we don't care at all.
Dana Carvey
And we don't care at all. We're just trashing the humanity.
David Spade
Humanity.
Dana Carvey
Humanity is in the crosshairs.
David Spade
Yeah. The funny thing on my corporate was. I think it was for the. Of course, I didn't understand it. These big companies, Heather, was it the biggest bank? The bank branding. Oh, gosh, Just know one thing. The branding. Banks of America, whatever. Something with banks. 2000 people in Las Vegas. Lot of fun. You know those things where the CEO wants to say hi? All this stuff. All those things that if they're not in your deal, you just do them and it's. And people at home should know there's a lot of performers that are real sticklers about that. Like, hey, the CEO, hey. Has his kid here, he wants to say hi. No, that wasn't part of it. You don't want to just walk in and let the boss who's paying you, be nice to him for a second while you eat some cantaloupe. Cantaloupe squares from your green room.
Dana Carvey
Some rider.
David Spade
Yeah. So anyway, by the way, that guy was cool. His kid was nice and we had a good show. Supposed to do an hour. Hour is a bit heavy for these things, but, you know, they pay you, they want their money.
Dana Carvey
I say they don't know sometimes, you know, like you'd be able to tell if it's been a long conference. Oh, I always say, when did they get up? Well, they got up at 6am how long have they been in meetings? Nine hours. When was the. Is there an open bar? Yes. When did the open bar start? At 5. When do I go on 10? I think you're gonna want a 35 at that point.
David Spade
Yeah, it's fun to see me. Then after a while they go, fuck this, dude. Let's get back. They want to go party in Vegas or something. Or sometimes you're a surprise. Which is even funnier because they all start to get up from their meeting and they go, hold on. They go, oh, what? They go, we've got a guest. They're like, oh, come on, we just finished. But anyway, did it a lot of fun at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. That's a rare one.
Dana Carvey
I love that. What I hate is 10. I'm doing a private party where I found out that I follow kid's birthday, a heavy metal rock band for an hour, and then I go up and they want me to do 50.
David Spade
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed Skull. Now here is Dan Garney.
Dana Carvey
They're going to have all the flashing light.
David Spade
Yeah. Please put the fireworks out. We thank you for enjoying Twisted. Here we go. We've got one more quick performer. He's going to do an hour 10.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. You know, you ordering drinks, doing blow. And then I come out, isn't that special? And I get a stand on just that.
David Spade
Who has a green car? You know what's funny? I'll tell you this. Last night at Comedy Magic, because there's a lot of people. Do crowd work their magic. No magic. Last time. And it's funny because they always usually have a magician, I think, because I had Bobby and Jeff Cesario.
Dana Carvey
All right, so no magic, no Matt. You know, the crowd's in a bad mood already.
David Spade
The crowds, they, they. If you do crowd work one funny trick that comics do. Have you ever seen this maneuver? Like, they go, hey, how many kids you have? And they go, two. They say some normal answer. And then the guy goes, oh. And he has no joke. So he goes, the other night, this lady said she had nine. And I was like, wow. And he says a joke. And I'm like, are you referring to another night when you said an ad lib that was funny in that scenario and repeating it?
Dana Carvey
And they're like, yeah, it's called. It's called the pivot. It's like.
David Spade
It's a good pivot. Right.
Dana Carvey
Two weeks where I had a better ad lib. Off the top of your head, how many kids you got? 2. What would be the most reasonable ad lib that would you get a laugh on? Just that it's not a great setup.
David Spade
Well, I think I would. If you're a good crowd work guy. You go, what is most common answer? And I'll think of a joke ahead of time. Why have I. Oh, go ahead. Yeah, I'm here.
Dana Carvey
How many kids you got? 2.
David Spade
2.
Dana Carvey
So your husband enjoyed his vaccine vasectomy. So you got your tubes tied. Yeah.
David Spade
So you got one from each nut. I guess you're done.
Dana Carvey
So I didn't get my tubes tied. All right, fire three.
David Spade
So, okay, what if I have four kids?
Dana Carvey
Four kids. Okay. You're one shy of a basketball team. So I said, get frisky.
David Spade
You've got a full game of pickleball.
Dana Carvey
I have. We have seven kids.
David Spade
Doubles.
Dana Carvey
We have seven kids. David Spade.
David Spade
Oh, what team in the NBA are you on?
Dana Carvey
We have seven kids. What are you nuts?
David Spade
Yeah, dude, this guy is jizzing. Folks. And it's landing this guy Bullseye.
Dana Carvey
This guy is the Arnold Schwarzenegger sperm. Yeah. I find my way to the egg. It's not the problem for me. Here we go, swimming through the water.
David Spade
This guy got seven Yahtzees. Okay.
Dana Carvey
But the good one is you go with a couple and they're not married, they're just dating the first.
David Spade
And it's awkward laughs.
Dana Carvey
Awkward laughs. And what do you do for a living? I'm a student. Oh, so you're unemployed or. Oh, yeah, you're broke. There's, you know.
David Spade
But before you say, go ahead.
Dana Carvey
No, we said this before, but it. It is illustrative. We're on this topic. The most popular put down in the 80s versus the most popular put down the last five years. Most popular put down in the 80s. Someone heckles you, hey, man, I don't come to Jack in the box when you're working. Huge laugh today. I don't. I don't come to your job and slap the dick out of your mouth. That's the difference in the culture.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah. It used to be. I don't come to McDonald's and knock the broom out of your hand.
Dana Carvey
I had never heard that.
David Spade
You never heard that? That was what I used to hear.
Dana Carvey
I don't come to McDonald's. Slack a milkshake out of your mouth.
David Spade
I don't pull you away from the milkshake machine.
Dana Carvey
Well, do you ever have a bid on how many hamburgers they sold? Because there were a lot of people doing that.
David Spade
Oh, it was 1 billion for a while. They used to announce it on the out front.
Dana Carvey
I think they went, you know, 100 million and they got to a billion. And I think eventually they just go billions and billions.
David Spade
No. And then they said, we've sold a shitload. Believe us, believe me, trust me.
Dana Carvey
The golden arches are actually made of diamonds. Yeah.
David Spade
Well, I know we're going to talk about topics, but I don't think the topic of the movie news about the rumor of the Bodyguard. I don't think we're going to talk about that, but I heard that and I was going to ask you if it's the movie the Bodyguard. You've heard of it?
Dana Carvey
I know a lot about Whitney Houston. I. I worked the director who directed the Bodyguard.
David Spade
Oh, that's right.
Dana Carvey
Mick Jackson. So I know a lot about the Bodyguard.
David Spade
Okay. So what would you say if you heard it was going to be Taylor Swift in a remake?
Dana Carvey
For the remake?
David Spade
It's not a bad pick. Yeah, super famous.
Dana Carvey
I got a Feeling my blink on. On that is that she would actually be a really good actress and she'd be good in it.
David Spade
Because Whitney wasn't an actress, was she?
Dana Carvey
No. But, you know, Costner is extremely talented and really smart, and I think he made her. So he was, you know, the de facto co director. He's Costner. You know, he directed Dances With Wolves, and I think he made her good. I mean, if you're on a movie where the director shits on you or there's 3,000 takes, but if you're with Costner and goes, no, just do this, do this. I mean, she was great in that movie.
David Spade
Or he's trying to make himself look good and you look bad. A lot of, you know, there's people that they're starring and directing. You never know what you're getting.
Dana Carvey
But, yeah, if I was. If we were in a movie together, I'd be your. You know, I'd be your Costner, and you'd be the Whitney Houston. I'd be like, David, I'll just be. Look, I talk like this, just natural. You don't have to push, you know. And you would be great.
David Spade
And you'd carry me out of every scene. I'll accept it. I go, yeah, thank you. It's more fun to go with it. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Sneaky condescension.
David Spade
Yeah. You'd be like, david, the reason I have all the jokes in the scene. You know, it's just too hard to explain. Let's just do it.
Dana Carvey
Well, let's fantasize for a second. What would be the two best leads for remake of the Bodyguard? Man and woman.
David Spade
Okay, so if it's Taylor Swift, which I heard the rumor, and the rumor was the director was the director of her ERAS tour, which I don't know if that's a smart idea, but there's probably better directors for story. Maybe Michael B. Jordan. He's maybe Ryan Gosling.
Dana Carvey
Chris Pratt and Katy Perry. Done.
David Spade
Wait, oh, you're switching it. Okay. Katy Perry, but she's still shaken from her space trip.
Dana Carvey
I'm gonna do a. I'm gonna talk about the spaceship.
David Spade
Okay. We're almost there.
Dana Carvey
Seven hours.
David Spade
It's so great.
Dana Carvey
It's so fantastic.
David Spade
Okay, we'll hurry up through the Bodyguard so we can talk about.
Dana Carvey
I heard. Should we finish. Have we finished the Bodyguard?
David Spade
Yeah, we got it. We. We just cast it. It's done.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, Ryan Gr. Ryan Gosling's not a bad choice. That guy's great. Yeah. Yeah.
David Spade
Okay, so go ahead.
Dana Carvey
So this has been trending a little Long. We're just gonna put it to rest.
David Spade
Here, but we're at the tail end of it.
Dana Carvey
I heard a rumor, it's gotten so big, you know, the idea that a lot of it was faked, a lot of people wasn't quite real. Who was really in the spaceship all. So I heard a rumor that they're going to have a sent senate committee investigate it now.
David Spade
Oh, wow.
Dana Carvey
Okay, here we you, Ms. Gail King. Now you and some folks supposedly went on a spaceship. Is that correct?
David Spade
Yes. Yes, we did.
Dana Carvey
Huh. And you were afraid of going on that spaceship, weren't you, Ms. King?
David Spade
Sure, a little bit.
Dana Carvey
Now. Now, your best friend is Oprah Winfrey, is that correct?
David Spade
She's my. Yes, friend in quote.
Dana Carvey
Now, she tweeted. And by the way, I have no be in my bonnet over this. I don't have an apple up my tush. I'm just trying to get to the essence here. Now your best friend, the essence tweeted a week ago Tuesday that my friend Gayle King is going into space. Wink, wink. What are you supposed to meant by that? Her words, not mine. Wink, wink. You didn't go into space, did you? Order. Order. You never were in that spaceship, were you?
David Spade
Did you say order?
Dana Carvey
Order. You never went up there. It was all fun.
David Spade
People are yelling. Yeah, come on.
Dana Carvey
This committee.
David Spade
Sir. Sir. Mr. Kennedy, I'm sorry, my time's up.
Dana Carvey
I didn't mean to disturb you. Okay. And scene. Patrick can jump. Cut that.
David Spade
That's good. Maybe the wink is more like she's your girlfriend, right? But you're like, well, why would she.
Dana Carvey
Just go up to space and wink, wink, she's my girlfriend.
David Spade
Why did. Did she really say that? I don't know.
Dana Carvey
I made everything up.
David Spade
Oh, I like it.
Dana Carvey
But there was a fake hand and.
David Spade
You know, you know, I will say that that whole idea sounded like everyone was, you know, not coked up. But it sounds like an idea that you would do in college and you're wasted and you go, hey, do we still. Hey, Jeff, do we still have that old spaceship in the backyard? And he's like, yeah, why? Well, we should brush the cobwebs off. Could it get a couple hundred feet in the air? I'm sure it could. Let's make a national story out of it.
Dana Carvey
Well, here's how it happened, David.
David Spade
Okay, let me know.
Dana Carvey
I don't know how it happened now. Sleight of hand. They're getting ready. They're going. They got their jumpsuits on this. And that's now one by one, Looks like they're going on, but they're actually ducking around. There's a trapdoor. They go safely underground and they're like 100 yards away in the tunnel. They have. The dummies are put up. They're. They're popped up by remote.
David Spade
Okay.
Dana Carvey
They have a little anti gravity thing in their little thing that they get in, but they never go up into outer space. That's the.
David Spade
Oh, they shot.
Dana Carvey
There's a little TV studio.
David Spade
Maybe they filmed it first. They filmed their anti gravity.
Dana Carvey
That's better too. Yeah, but there's no way. And, and, and they went in outer space.
David Spade
Oh, wow. I. Well, they weren't. Were they not supposed to go. They're not going to the Van Allen belt. The one I couldn't remember the other day.
Dana Carvey
Wink, wink.
David Spade
I know it now.
Dana Carvey
But here's the thing. Now, the first people that went on that rocket. I'm doing Kennedy again.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Probably were a little more serious because when they do rockets, the first ten usually blow up. Then they had five successful, successful ones. Let's put a dude in it. Or a woman. So by the time they went up, it was kind of like party time. And. And then everyone shit on them. But it was just gals having fun.
David Spade
I do have to say I have two things to say. I want to hear both very important. One is, I know they. I know it's girl power. And they say women went up. But at a certain point, if we're all supposed to be equal, just say five people went up. We always separate people. And it should be just like, hey, they're good, they're smart, they can get up there. Like, that's fun. I don't think they should consider it such a victory. Like, we did what the boys did because there are female astronauts. Absolutely. And also when Elon saved those people, no one cared about that. And even the female astronaut that was up there for nine months got about two seconds of airtime. No one gave a fat fuck about her because she wasn't a model. But she did do a lot, and she did go through a lot. That's a. That's a really interesting story.
Dana Carvey
The hell out of you.
David Spade
And she was up there banging around that tin can. So she's a very interesting woman. That should get some award for something. But listen, these, these women went up, had fun. I don't even know how it started or why it started, but it was a really, really big story. If not only on Tick Tock.
Dana Carvey
Visited. It visited us on the podcast because.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Carol Leifer was doing a show. Okay, so it's three woman and it's. And then all of a sudden they go, ladies, comedy night out. Or whatever the name. But if you, me and Theo go out and do a stand up, there they go, Boys night out. Here they go.
David Spade
Yeah, right.
Dana Carvey
But more than half the population is women, so I want to change it.
David Spade
Yeah, they're doing a lot and, and the, the jokes were so pretty funny. That's why we're at the tail end of it. But some of the stuff I heard on just reading and Instagram, everyone was clowning on and then they're getting clowned on for clowning on it. Yeah, it's all hysterical.
Dana Carvey
It's all, it was just, it was mild amusement for the culture in the tumultuous times we will perennially live in.
David Spade
So anyway, it was nothing serious. It happened. Dana, I'm a little bit of a spendy Susie.
Dana Carvey
A boozy Susie and a spendy Susie.
David Spade
I'm more of a boozy Susie, but.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, you are. You are a spendy spender. Yeah.
David Spade
And a lot of our listeners are nice enough to write in and say you look like you drank a lot and slept on your face. But that's just constructive criticism.
Dana Carvey
Well, it's very concise and you don't really drink very much. I'll tell the fans.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
And I'll say it again. Klarna, which I, I assume is Swedish. Klarna is your smarter everyday spending partner.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
That's right. Here's some key takeaways. Listen up, brother. Klarna offers a pay in for product where you don't have to pay interest. I think that's a good thing.
David Spade
You can pay with Klarna at merchant checkout in the Klarna app or with the Klarna card.
Dana Carvey
You can also compare prices at your favorite stores and earn cash back when you shop in the app.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
Klarna may get a commission. Limitations, terms and conditions apply. I'm just gonna do, I'm just gonna say it. It's a klarna summer.
David Spade
Dana, I don't know if you've been checking your calendar, but Mother's Day is fast approaching Sunday 11th May, the day for all moms in our lives. So that's the big day for them. So show them data.
Dana Carvey
Show them that we care.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
That's good. Compliment mom's classic taste by designing and this is important, a one of a kind diamond pendant or ace a piece with brilliant style with a classic tennis bracelet. So you got lots of choices on bluenot.com David?
David Spade
Yeah, I'll have to think about this because my mom just had her knee operated on so maybe I'll get her tennis bracelet. Just sort of like to go, hey, come on, let's get back on that knee and let's get back to the court. Right?
Dana Carvey
That's right.
David Spade
And your gift will stay safe because every Blue Nile ore is insured and arrives in very plain packaging that won't give away what's inside. Most cases it's delivered right overnight.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Yeah. And wave goodbye to buyer's remorse because Blue Nile offers 30 day returns and a diamond price match guarantee. So you're safe that way too.
David Spade
Treat your mom right this Mother's Day. Enjoy the ease and convenience of shopping. Blue Nile, the original online jeweler. Go to blue nile.com today. That's blue nile.com.
Dana Carvey
You know, randomly sometimes people ask for your driver's license and so I'd like to see ID please. Either they have to scan it or something, whatever. And then I, I, I'm a senior and I'm, I'm trying to find my license And I feel like such a early onset, demented idiot. I'm going, I. It was in here, you know? And it's like a car. It's between two credit cards. And I put all the cards out. It's like. It's like the Amazing Kresk.
David Spade
Like, where the.
Dana Carvey
Is my driver. And they're looking at me like, you.
David Spade
You're like that magician Ronnie J. Or somebody. You know where they get. They. So it's like a card trick. They go, you like it is in my wallet. And then you pull out a bunch of cards. It's going to be one of these. And you lay them out. Then you start flipping them over. Is that my wallet? No, that's not. That's my Montgomery Wards credit card.
Dana Carvey
Exactly. And they really want the license.
David Spade
Here's my Discover card. What else? Here's my gym membership from Nautilus.
Dana Carvey
Do you have a job? This is what I do every time I hand a credit card to someone. Oh, yeah, I just found it in the parking lot. And I really hope it goes through. And then I kiss it.
David Spade
Oh, no.
Dana Carvey
I worse so hard. Do you have something?
David Spade
I have when the check comes and you go like this. Okay, great. Who ordered the couch? That's when it's high. Got nothing from Heather on that one. That's funny, though.
Dana Carvey
That's a good one. I like that. Yeah.
David Spade
And then I go like this. Oh, do you have financial aid? And then I go like this. Do you guys have a layaway? Okay, can I do a layaway on this crab cake? Oh, I did hear this dent. What's your name? That At Coachella?
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah.
David Spade
That they. You know, it's getting so expensive in the whole world that this is something they're doing. Obviously, it's an expensive world. I don't know if it's a great idea to do not layaway, but payments for concerts now.
Dana Carvey
So it's that.
David Spade
So you can spend like, $49 to get a great pass to Coachella, but you have to pay it off. Oh, here comes Heather. Oh, no. Fyre Festival 2 is postponed. Who would ever see that coming?
Dana Carvey
Let me just make a note. I'm gonna have to call.
David Spade
Yeah, boy, tell. When you. When are you gonna tell Paula?
Dana Carvey
I'm gonna call Warren Grant after this.
David Spade
Call our business manager and say, hey, I bought the million dollar pup tent for that one. Can you just tell him to send it back to me on Venmo?
Dana Carvey
I think sometimes human beings like things being expensive because it seems like it's got to be better. Like, yeah, it's a $200 steak. Oh, it's got to be good. And guess what? Not so good.
David Spade
Yeah, I've had some ratty.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, rat infested. Fatty. Gristle is one of the worst words in the English language.
David Spade
Sickening. Sickening. What about when you get. I don't like wagu. When they go, it's the fatty meat. Don't say the word fatty. Is that your sales pitch? Where you go, tuna toro. It's the more fattier one. Sick. Get lost.
Dana Carvey
I know. As if it's more flavorful.
David Spade
Sick. Who wants fat?
Dana Carvey
No, I don't want fat. My dad would always make us eat steak. He would buy the cheapest steak you could ever get and put it in a freezer in the garage, and then you'd get it. It was just gristle and bone with a tiny bit of meat on it. Oh, Jesus Christ. Get the gristle. Same thing with the caro syrup. We couldn't afford maple syrups. We got this white, see through syrup. Caro. And the ants loved it. It was so sweet all over it and inside of it. And he goes. I go, God, there's ants in this. He goes, oh, Jesus Christ. It's protein. These are quotes.
David Spade
Yeah, I believe it for sure. Yeah. I also. Ants get too high on it. They're like, what the. They're not ready for it.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, even the ants are just that. But even my dad would do this. He'd get up Sunday morning, he'd pull, put so much oil in this big pan. Considered himself this great chef.
David Spade
He doesn't know anything.
Dana Carvey
Cake batter. He'd make the pancakes, and they'd just be bubbling with oil.
David Spade
On the oil?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, on the oil. So the first three or four batches, he would call crispies because the oil would just harden and bubble over. And he got me a huge stack. I'm like six years old. He goes, oh, Jesus Christ. Dane loves the Krispies. Which I didn't. So I ate Krispies.
David Spade
And then I threw up trying to make dad happy. So horrible. So sad. Let's go back to Coachella, because Coachella was a big deal. It's also this weekend is that idea.
Dana Carvey
Of having a good. How many outhouses would there be?
David Spade
I heard it was outhouse light because I saw a city council meeting yesterday. What am I watching? Where the guy was like. And it was some old women going like this. You really did us dirty. And he's like. He's from, like, what's it called? Golden voice, Whatever. Does all these live nation. He's like, hey, man. Couple of blips. And they're like, yeah, it was 12 hours of traffic they were stuck in. People ran out of gas. Yeah, we got some bugs, some hiccups. They always reduce it to nothing. There's no bad. She goes, there's no facilities. And he's like, I know.
Dana Carvey
Is this a local woman?
David Spade
Yeah, she's in Palm Springs and she's.
Dana Carvey
Saying she's 21 years old.
David Spade
In our town? No, she's about 300. And she's like going, oh, why you ruin our city with this?
Dana Carvey
It's like an infestation of hippies on our property.
David Spade
Do you know the tattoo.
Dana Carvey
In the backyard?
David Spade
They pooped on our barrel cactus. Yeah, there's people that the best move is to go to the Madison Club. That really killer Mike Meldman, you know, place down there has all the juicy houses. It's like a housing development. They have them all over the country and they're just so kick ass. And you're close to Coachella, so you can hear it. And what I'm hearing, Dana, and do not fucking repeat this I'm recording this, is that these girls go down there and of course they have the TRA la la life. They get whatever. So some rich guy has the house. They go down, they stay at the house. Sometimes they don't even go to the concert. They just hear it and then just do their Molly and all their drugs at the house and get wasted and take a million pictures of themselves.
Dana Carvey
I love every life.
David Spade
I'm out there grinding.
Dana Carvey
Well, do people want to go there? Because it's hard to get in and it's really expensive and it's where the cool people are. Does anyone really have a good time at Coachella? Unless you have special passes? I think they seats helicopters. And by the way, I just gotta say yes, I watch Benson Boone. Is that his name?
David Spade
Benson, the TV show?
Dana Carvey
No, Benson. Heather would know.
David Spade
Yeah, with the jumper. Yeah. So he looks like he's from the 70s.
Dana Carvey
He looks like Burt Lancaster in the movie Trapeze. He's wearing like a trapeze onesie.
David Spade
Yeah, I saw him. And he did a flip off the piano.
Dana Carvey
Well, no, and he's doing. He's covering, um, He's Queen Bohemian Rhapsody and then singing the song and then doing triple flips off the piano over and over again and running and sprinting it. So I had to say I was entertained. I'm like, you're taking a circus performer, giving him a really good. So he's tumbling, doing. And he did a magic trick at the end he had pick a card, any card. As he finished, nothing really matters. And he flipped the card and I.
David Spade
Was like, no, he did not. Did he? Because first of all, let's start with he's good.
Dana Carvey
Kidding.
David Spade
Once you're goodlook, everything's easier after that. He can sing.
Dana Carvey
No, he can sing.
David Spade
Heather. Is he. Yeah, yeah, he can sing. Picking Bohemian rpy The best part was bringing the real Brian May play guitar and no one gave a fat. That was sad smattering of applause. People like, who's this old guy?
Dana Carvey
I was able. I was on a zoom with Brian Mann a couple years ago and I said that Bohemian Rhapsody was a full blown masterpiece of pop rock and he's very humble about it. Oh, geez. Thank you. But he had had a little stroke. He's recovered. He comes out, giant mop, white hair and he just nails it. And it reminds you how brilliant his solo is on. That song is amazing. The song is amazing. But Benson Boone has pipes. I guess he's good looking. I don't get it. But no, I'm kidding. That's a joke.
David Spade
Brian May. The comments were like, who is that guy? He needs conditioner in his hair. And I was like, well, that's sort of being superficial. For a superstar guitarist, it's probably voted one of the top 10 of all time.
Dana Carvey
I think he's might be underrated on those lists, but he's definitely known by everybody else as one of the greats. And you know, everyone's forgotten David.
David Spade
I know every year that goes by if they.
Dana Carvey
What percentage of Coachella would know who Johnny Carson was?
David Spade
0120 to 1%. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
So that's all right. But they do know Queen because.
David Spade
Right.
Dana Carvey
Queen has we are the Champions.
David Spade
You know, Dana, you know, no one asked me this, but I did do it deep video on YouTube for Funny or Die clowning on Coachella about 10 years ago.
Dana Carvey
Oh yeah, I remember that. You're at the.
David Spade
And every year. Yeah, Charlotte McKinney comes in and I. We make fun of her for attending Coachella. I would post it, but you can't repost Funny or Die. Funny or Die.
Dana Carvey
So is Funny or Die still around?
David Spade
I don't know. Let's. Let's look at a clip. Is it around Heather? Oh, they're on Tick tock. They. Okay, they are because they posted clips of it. Like one minute clips of the whole thing's probably.
Dana Carvey
It's funny.
David Spade
Five minutes. Yeah. Okay. What's the next story? Are we doing stories? Yeah. What's the next One.
Dana Carvey
The panel of five judges was ready to hear his case when he asked to play a video to make his case.
David Spade
May it please the court.
Dana Carvey
I come here today. A humble proceeding for a panel of five distinguished justices. Is this.
David Spade
Hold on.
Dana Carvey
Is that counsel for the case? What it turned into was possibly the shortest career ever in a courtroom. In part because what's on the bottom right of your screen isn't a real lawyer or even a real person, but an avatar created by artificial intelligence. The judge learning of this was not pleased. I don't appreciate being misled.
David Spade
This looks like the Palm Spring. That's true. Dana.
Dana Carvey
This whole thing is out of how.
David Spade
We know this is an April Fool's joke.
Dana Carvey
So an AI lawyer look like a clean cut guy in a sweater.
David Spade
It looks like Dave Coulier on Full House.
Dana Carvey
Dave Coulier.
David Spade
Look, Joey.
Dana Carvey
And that's our future.
David Spade
That's our future is I hate it. If we're not rat between AI and April Fools, we can't win.
Dana Carvey
You know what we're gonna do? And I'll announce it now because it'll take time to get it together is we're gonna have digital copies of ourselves. Do Super Boss.
David Spade
Okay?
Dana Carvey
And the. The weird thing. It might be the best episode.
David Spade
Oh, what if they're way funnier? What if they don't stare in the camera at their hair like I do? Okay. That was good though, Dan. I like that one.
Dana Carvey
There's. There's other ones I could see saying.
David Spade
You know, I thought that was going to be that the court was AI So they could decide if you're guilty or not just by facts with nothing else. You know what I mean? No personal opinion, just right. This happened. This happened. Here you go. Or just the law. Is this boom. That might happen?
Dana Carvey
Yes, I think so.
David Spade
Okay. Who is this? The guy from the office? No. Okay. Speaking of which, this guy tattooed krud because you win 250000 on a radio station.
Dana Carvey
So he did it on his forehead and it's huge.
David Spade
Yeah. Now play it.
C
Tattooed the word KRUD on his forehead hoping to win a $250,000 prize. But it turned out to be a thoughtless and insensitive April Fool's prank. In 2021, a popular radio station named KRUD ran a claiming that they would reward two hundred and fifty thousand dollars to the first listener who tattooed the word KRUD on their forehead. Mr. Bell, hoping to support his financially struggling parents, jumped at the chance and got the tattoo. Only to discover that it was all a hoax. So surprisingly, the radio Station had confirmed that the challenge was real when Mr. Bell phoned them just before getting the tattoo.
David Spade
This is the problem.
C
Being fooled into making such a life changing decision.
David Spade
Then he goes ahead.
C
Mr. Bell sued the radio station for five hundred and ten thousand dollars.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
C
Rud, however, claimed that it was entirely Mr. Bell's fault for not recognizing the obvious prank and that the competition's terms and conditions clearly stated it was an April Fool's prank. Despite their arguments, the judge ruled in favor of Mr. Bell and he was awarded the 510, 000 compensation for the prank.
David Spade
Wow. I agree.
Dana Carvey
I know, but you know, if you watch it, he takes out just a wet rag and just wipes it off.
David Spade
Oh. And he does it back.
Dana Carvey
Do a temporary tat. Geez.
David Spade
Get 510 grand.
Dana Carvey
510 grand.
David Spade
Must be nice.
Dana Carvey
Must be nice. Do we have one with the bully, Greg?
David Spade
Oh, yeah, the bully's good. There's. Oh yeah. This one has a surprise ending.
Dana Carvey
All right. This is everyone's nightmare in school.
David Spade
This is Spade getting bullied.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
No, actually I do hate bullies, but go ahead.
Dana Carvey
I'll just say that, yeah, this, this is self explanatory, but it's that guy.
David Spade
So I guess he's pulling his kid.
Dana Carvey
Probably a teacher or something.
David Spade
I think he's a dad. Looks like Jason Kelsey, the way that guy walks.
Dana Carvey
Jeez, what's our world coming to?
David Spade
Dude, no offense. I would beat the out every kid at that school.
Dana Carvey
You think that was a dad? A lumbering dad?
David Spade
I think it was a dad that his kid got bullied and he went in to stick up for his kid.
Dana Carvey
Okay, you want to do that? It's kind of chilling.
David Spade
Now I make you feel bad. Now I make you feel bad for him. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
And then the bravery and the shenanigans of pantsing a hulking, angry adult. But they sprint.
David Spade
But they know he can't beat him.
Dana Carvey
Up and he can't move. I mean, the way he walked is. He waddled, so he's a little stiff.
David Spade
He played a couple years in. Yeah, JV football.
Dana Carvey
But a lot of.
David Spade
Anyway, I didn't. I don't know if I love seeing his nut sick.
Dana Carvey
No, that was the humiliating part. Maybe we can cut it out.
David Spade
That was like a scene in Me and Grown Ups when they made me walk up the stairs. Okay, so no, it's funny if they'll let us. It's fun. It's the funny part. Look at this.
Dana Carvey
It's just a lot of stuff happening that you don't see. David, you know.
David Spade
You know what, Dana? You look, but you don't see. You hear, but you don't listen.
Dana Carvey
You live in David world. Quick impression, you. I'm going to call. I'm gonna have fun. I'm playing this city, and all the while this life is going on outside your little spade bubble.
David Spade
You know what's funny about Koi is on Theo's, he's like, remember? I go, remember we ran into Jellyfish or whatever that guy's name is.
Dana Carvey
Jelly Bean.
David Spade
And he goes, jelly Bean. And he goes, yeah, we Rick Coy. And I'm like, of course we were at Koi. How funny. We were at Kauai.
Dana Carvey
We go other places.
David Spade
Every story comes into Kauai. You and I don't go to Kauai enough, and I'm sad.
Dana Carvey
It's got it. Yeah. It's good.
David Spade
We have fun there.
Dana Carvey
Yes. Because I like it. It's. It's nice and cool. The music's very benign. It's dark and it feels very.
David Spade
You can sit on back now. It's even. Even quieter.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
All right, next story. All right. Ktla, which I listen to sometimes. They accidentally post the N word. I'm not laughing.
Dana Carvey
On technical error Twitter. Come on.
David Spade
What? Who's vet on God's green earth? They said. Here's what they said, I think, because this is a story from L. A.
Dana Carvey
Okay, they.
David Spade
They just put that word and. And tweeted out.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
David Spade
But I think they said, oh, we were trying to put the words to block. You know, Heather, you had to block stuff on my Instagram once.
Dana Carvey
Oh, that's in settings, posted in posting.
David Spade
Oh, yeah. This is posting, not settings. Yeah. So it's a little flimsy we're hearing from the audience, but yeah, either way, run from this. Just please hope the world keeps moving.
Dana Carvey
Because are we going to something taught or. That was.
David Spade
Well, it's hard. You get it. They just put a tweet out that just said that word. And they were like, you know, like, hey, everybody. And everyone's like, huh, Huh? A news station. And they're like, pushed wrong keys. Yeah, Sent mistake, please.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. They had one guy and he has had a private room. His only thing was to vet the articles. Yeah, well, I missed it. You know, was that, you know, thought, you know, I would. Had a big lunch. You know, pepperonis were, you know, make me temporarily blind when I press the.
David Spade
Send, but temper insanity.
Dana Carvey
No, no, it's perfectly wrong. I should have, but I don't.
David Spade
She's a beautiful. Okay, that's A story. Next one.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
David Spade
You went into Owen Wilson.
Dana Carvey
Well, I was gonna do on Wilson. Shaming the guy. You gotta be better with that, man. You can't do that. You gotta tell him not to put out words like that. David, I don't know if you know this about me, but I've always been a fan of exploring new places. Not like you, kind of, you know. No, no offense. And one of my best trips. Listen up. Is when I stayed at an Airbnb. Felt like I was living like a local with all the space. You know, hotels can be a hassle. Room service and then the housekeeper, it's a hassle. So then you go to Airbnb and you can get whatever you want. A little cottage, this and that. It's fantastic. You have your own separate space. So it's a great product for people who travel. David.
David Spade
Yes. I have friends doing one of these right now. If you have a home, you can Airbnb it.
Dana Carvey
That's fantastic. I mean, to monetize your home when you're not there seems like a good idea.
David Spade
I mean, look, I'm on the road a lot. I could probably do it. It's something that people can do when they travel. They have extra space or you're at a place not full time. You come in in the winter, you leave in the summer. That's something you should think about. It's a way to get some extra money and it's a cool experience.
Dana Carvey
Your home might be worth more than you think.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
Learn about their specialized talent in finance, accounting, technology, marketing, legal and administrative support at Robert Half. They know talent. Visit roberthalf.com talent today.
David Spade
If you're driving right now, take a look around. See all those cars? You can find them on autotrader because they have the largest selection of new cars, used cars, electric cars, even flying cars. Okay, no flying cars yet. But as soon as those get invented, they're going to be on autotrader. Not only can you find the car you just saw, you can find it at a price personalized to you with Kelley Blue Book. My wallet on Autotrader.
Dana Carvey
From credit scores to down payments to interest rates, we all know that car buying requires a lot of math. Enter my wallet on Autotrader, A tool that shows you exactly how much you'll pay each month for your car based on your unique info so you never have to do your car math again. So whether you're into timeless classics or the latest trends. Did somebody say solar powered, eco friendly, self driving car? Or whether you just want something practical with no surprise cost. If you see a car you like, find it on autotrader. See it, Find it. Autotrader.
David Spade
Did you know we talked about Jack Black, who's on the show, who's not on?
Dana Carvey
He'll be on the show.
David Spade
I think it's next.
Dana Carvey
2026.
David Spade
No, 2025. He'll be on in like a week.
Dana Carvey
But yeah, I'll be on in a week. He can't wait.
David Spade
But we were joking about how people go crazy when the chicken jockey comes out. And I told you this is real. This is a real one, Heather. When the chicken jockey comes out. They used to throw popcorn.
Dana Carvey
Okay. When the chicken jockey comes out.
David Spade
Look what they're doing, Heather.
Dana Carvey
What?
David Spade
Lighting fireworks.
Dana Carvey
Fireworks in.
David Spade
In the theater.
Dana Carvey
Wow. And they're raining down on them.
David Spade
Yeah, they're not.
Dana Carvey
People are panicked and running, screaming.
David Spade
There's some part of the movie where it makes everyone go crazy. And now it's a joke. They all do it like Rocky Horror, but they're taking it too far.
Dana Carvey
Oh, you're saying this is Minecraft?
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Oh. And at a certain part, everyone comes in and lights on fireworks.
David Spade
No. At certain point, everyone would throw popcorn.
Dana Carvey
They would do that. But then this.
David Spade
And then a week later, it's escalated to someone brought a live chicken in. And then people on each other's shoulders. Then they started throwing fireworks.
Dana Carvey
When they see the chicken, they.
David Spade
Yeah, just like, here's our time to go nuts. And the police came in. When we talked to Jack, it just started at a place like, hey, guys, don't go throw stuff. And now. Oh, Heather only heard the word chicken. Oh, the word chicken got out of the coop and had fun.
Dana Carvey
Chicken got out of the coop? Yeah. There was a lot to unpack. I will say this is that the movie's a smash. But when we talked with Jack, he was just hoping it would get to 700 million. I think it's getting very close to that already. It's only been out two weekends. So I told him he'll do a billion and if it does, I'll. I'll try to find him, get up in his grill a little bit under us. May 7th. He'll be on our show.
David Spade
I think the. I think the. No, what I think what I think was. I thought.
Dana Carvey
Are you all right?
David Spade
No, I forgot my train of thought. You said May 7th.
Dana Carvey
Many strokes are not conducive to no talk show fodder.
David Spade
Oh. I was saying this sort of controversy helps a movie a lot because every dopey kid goes, oh, we gotta go see this and see what people do. Actually, I'm gonna bring a handful of rocks. And then it escalates so they can get on video and film it and post it and be like, I was at that one.
Dana Carvey
Well, the only thing as follows, fireworks fly around. And fireworks can land in someone's an eye. And fireworks could blind someone in the theater and then has a billion dollar lawsuit.
David Spade
I know. So the movie makes a lot. The theaters bum out.
Dana Carvey
They might sue the movie too. No.
David Spade
Yeah, right. I'm sure he doesn't. He doesn't want this much chaos. Okay?
Dana Carvey
I'm a grumpy old man and I don't like fireworks in a movie. Pistol Pete. I'm trying to watch John Wayne.
David Spade
My day we used to put Silly Putty on a cartoons.
Dana Carvey
In my day we didn't have movie theaters. We make a sock puppet and make our sister laugh while it rained outside.
David Spade
I like that. On fire. Yeah, that's a feature film.
Dana Carvey
Did you ever go to a double feature? You go in at noon, you come out at 6:00.
David Spade
Oh, our drive in.
Dana Carvey
Not a drive in. Two. Two matinees in the afternoon.
David Spade
I did double feature in a drive in. That's for.
Dana Carvey
Hey, I did all night creature features. Oh, I did not all night in the drive in. Watching Edgar Allen Pole, Vincent Price old fashioned horror films till dawn.
David Spade
My brother, they know I'm the scared one of the family. Hence Dandelion. And they go, hey, come with us to see the Blood Farmers at midnight. And I was like, that's not a scary one. They're like, no. You think from the title I might have deduced that it was scary? It was so sickening I had to walk out and walk home at 12.
Dana Carvey
Dana, my friends and I.
David Spade
This is why I'm fucked up.
Dana Carvey
Which I probably said before we go, oh, what's that? We're trying to see a movie. High school, but you know, 16. What's that? X or who? Sisty. What? We go in, we're in the third row of no original Exorcist. Never had no idea. And it really just disturbed me. And I was, you know, just. I was flipped out for a long time after.
David Spade
I still haven't seen it. Yeah, it's too much, I swear I haven't seen it.
Dana Carvey
It's. Yeah, it's. It's a brilliant film.
David Spade
They bring in the devil. You know what Coachell I have to say and this sounds like a little bit of a pulp Lady Gaga who is great. I don't think they need this extra part where they're all adding this devil worshiping satanic rituals in their act. It's not just a quick thing they do a whole thing. I just think it's. I would walk out eight to say it. Maybe I'm alone. I can't. I don't know why they do it. I don't know why. It's cool and I don't know why if worst case scenario. It's just corny at this point. Sam Smith it's just so like heavy and weird and dark. Why, why, why? Now listen, we had ACDC and they had like a picture of a devil obviously in the background. What this is, we know it's out there, we just don't need it on the Jumbotron. You know what I mean? Of life like it's in the background every time. We're trying to get through life every day. Why that offends me. We don't know.
Dana Carvey
I mean I pitched you and it was a terrible idea. We did this gig recently that you were going to be in a really realistic devil costume like big long hands and nails and then I was going to be dressed the church lady and we were going to have like a battle royale.
David Spade
Oh right, right, right.
Dana Carvey
And you, you got in the costumes and you're like I think you can do. Heather unzipped it. You came out like I said, why.
David Spade
Am I in the bad team and you're on the good team.
Dana Carvey
Yeah but yeah, they want to trend. They're not, they, they're not superstars because they're dumb. They know that that's going to go somewhere. Devil worship. What's. What's next though? Hardcore porn, right?
David Spade
Sacrifice. I mean it is, it is a slippery slope. I think so Personally I sound like a bit of a prude but call me old fashioned legit concern for the world.
Dana Carvey
Good music. When I go to a music show.
David Spade
Yeah, sorry, sorry. I paid my three $800 to sit in the 50th row. I want a good show. Well, I've got my green wristband. I get to go to the nacho stand in the Tater Junction Hut.
Dana Carvey
Let's do something, you know, let's get a, a band that just does all the Monkeys songs from the 60s something and call it Coachella. And it's like 40 miles away. It costs like $2 to get in. Just make a mini Coachella. We probably.
David Spade
Yeah, we should do a different. But Coachell is hard to compete with. It's a second weekend. They're going to do it. It's going to kill. Okay, what's the next story? Buskers. What's a busker mean again?
Dana Carvey
Busker. Is he selling stuff?
David Spade
Oh, just a street musician.
Dana Carvey
Street performer trying to make money.
David Spade
All right, let's see how good this guy is.
Dana Carvey
All right.
David Spade
I'm from Norwich. He's from Norwich.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
David Spade
Okay. Oh, you do drums. Tell me if this sounds. Is that him?
Dana Carvey
Yeah. They're kind of invisible. It's just done by a computer.
David Spade
No, he's doing his mouth. I call it invisible drum kit. Invisible drums. Here we go. On the floor. That's pretty good. Right to my left, the snare in the middle. The bongo on the top. Like this. The floor toms. He's doing a beatbox. That's good.
Dana Carvey
He's Michael Winslow.
David Spade
Yeah. Different noises in this drum beat to begin warming up the voice. Yeah. Hey, Say. Huh?
Dana Carvey
I'd like to know what he's got coming through that amp. As far as helping out. Thank you. Yeah.
David Spade
Adding this sound. I can do that. He's having a seizure. A little bit faster this time. I'll make it a drum on base beat.
Dana Carvey
Everyone's just walking by.
David Spade
No one gives a. The song's not very catchy. The base. All right. All right. I'm gonna have to give this guy.
Dana Carvey
Listen to me for 20 seconds.
David Spade
Yeah. Let's see if Danny can do. It's a bus golf. Yeah. How about the hi hat? I like when they grab it.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. You do sound effects. Okay. You do that.
David Spade
I can't do that.
Dana Carvey
Just do the.
David Spade
It's so boring.
Dana Carvey
It's so bad. It's so corny. Why does everyone get an I'm sorry proper?
David Spade
Hey, Danny, you want to be bored? This is what I. When people ask me how I slept, it's a W. Some people just do it to be nice. Hey, good morning. Hey. Did you sleep good? Do not even stumble into that with me. I'll go into a whole soliloquy. I'm like, oh, my God. At first, so I was so tired. First of all, they're like, oh, are you giving a real answer? I'm like, so then I'm laying there, then I'm tired. But then I realize I'm not even sleeping. And then I stepped on my side. I try to sleep my back. And then I heard a noise. Everyone's like this, please end this. I go on forever. It's horrible.
Dana Carvey
Maybe you need. Do you wear a mask? Are you one of those people? You wear a mat?
David Spade
I have a CPAC on my wiener, yeah.
Dana Carvey
And that helps you sleep or just makes a.
David Spade
No, it just feels good. I just look at Heather. You know, Heather, about a half hour ago, you were just staring, and then you like this. And I was like, was that for us or for something you're reading?
Dana Carvey
I think Heather was snoring. I think.
David Spade
I think she read something and then she. It was funny, though. All right, well, thanks, everybody, and thanks for listening. We always appreciate it. Or watch. Talk to you later. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.
Dana Carvey
Sa.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Episode Summary: SUPERFLY #64 - Space Chicks & Coachella
Release Date: April 18, 2025
1. Introduction to the Episode
In episode #64 of "Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade," titled "Space Chicks & Coachella," hosts Dana Carvey and David Spade delve into the latest happenings in their personal lives, their podcast's achievements, and share humorous anecdotes from their experiences in the entertainment industry.
2. Setting Up the Podcast Studio
Dana and David begin by discussing the enhancements they've made to their recording environment, emphasizing the importance of a comfortable and well-lit space for their conversations.
Dana Carvey [03:15]: "I love having a good lounge set. And that's where Quince comes in."
David Spade [03:24]: "News flash. Finally got curtains. Whoa."
They humorously highlight the challenges of managing natural light and ensuring their studio reflects the casual yet engaging atmosphere of their show.
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3. Podcast Achievements and Recognition
The duo proudly shares that their podcast has been named "Comedy Podcast of the Year" by iHeart, celebrating their status in the comedy podcast landscape. They reflect on the unexpected yet gratifying recognition of their spontaneous and authentic content.
Dana Carvey [05:04]: "It's kind of an honor in a way. I mean, we already got Comedy Podcast of the year from iHeart."
David Spade [05:43]: "That always feels good. Because when you go all the way out there and you want to hang out there, you just want anything, a line, anything."
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4. Stand-Up Gigs and Upcoming Performances
Dana and David discuss their upcoming stand-up gigs, sharing insights into their touring schedules and the nature of their performances. They touch upon the anticipation from fans and the dynamics of performing live.
Dana Carvey [06:36]: "Do Superfly, you know, let's get a different."
David Spade [06:46]: "But I've hit a lot of them. I, you know, I just did Theo's podcast the other."
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5. Personal Anecdotes and Stories
The hosts share various personal stories, including Dana’s struggles with new curtains affecting her napping routine and David’s experiences at comedy and magic clubs. Their candidness provides listeners with an intimate glimpse into their lives beyond the podcast.
Dana Carvey [03:46]: "My wife had to order them from France. They took six months. I don't know what it is."
David Spade [04:38]: "It's funny. I did comedy and magic club last night to bless you to prep for Boston and somewhere."
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6. Dynamics of Their Podcasting Relationship
Dana and David reflect on their chemistry as podcast hosts, highlighting their daily interactions and humorous exchanges. They discuss the spontaneity and genuine connection that makes their podcast relatable and entertaining.
David Spade [07:57]: "We're just really being real."
Dana Carvey [08:04]: "Humanity is in the crosshairs."
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7. Reflections on Comedy and Audience Engagement
The hosts analyze the evolution of comedy, particularly focusing on crowd work and the effectiveness of ad libs in stand-up routines. They provide tips and insights into engaging with the audience, drawing from their extensive experience in comedy.
Dana Carvey [11:36]: "It's called the pivot. It's like."
David Spade [12:03]: "Get frisky."
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8. Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans
As the episode progresses towards the end of the main content, Dana and David discuss their future plans for the podcast, including potential digital expansions and the integration of AI-generated content. They maintain their signature humor while contemplating the technological advancements in podcasting.
Dana Carvey [38:47]: "We're gonna have digital copies of ourselves. Do Super Boss."
David Spade [38:50]: "What if they're way funnier?"
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9. Closing Remarks
Dana and David wrap up the episode with light-hearted banter, expressing gratitude to their listeners and teasing upcoming guests, including a mention of Jack Black's upcoming appearance.
Dana Carvey [48:53]: "He'll be on in like a week."
David Spade [51:15]: "That's a feature film."
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Conclusion
"SUPERFLY #64 - Space Chicks & Coachella" offers listeners a blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions about the podcasting world. Dana Carvey and David Spade continue to engage their audience with their authentic interactions and comedic brilliance, making this episode a delightful addition to their ongoing series.
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Note: This summary excludes advertisement segments and focuses solely on the main content of the podcast episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who have not listened to it.