SUPERFLY #68 - Romance, Fauxmance, or Showmance?

Summary

Superfly #68 - Romance, Fauxmance, or Showmance?

Release Date: May 16, 2025
Presented by Audacy

Introduction

In this lively episode of Superfly, hosts Dana Carvey and David Spade delve into the intricacies of romance in the entertainment industry, exploring whether relationships are genuine (“romance”), fabricated for image (“showmance”), or somewhere in between (“fauxmance”). Accompanied by their playful banter and a colorful cast of characters, including the humorous portrayal of Cary Grant, the duo navigates through comedy sketches, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions about the nature of relationships in show business.

---

1. Show Name & Format Evolution

Dana and David kick off the conversation by addressing potential changes to their show’s branding. They discuss feedback from listeners that the names Superfly and Fly on the Wall might be causing confusion.

• Dana Carvey ([07:06]): “Superfly and Fly on the Wall were a little too confusing for people.”

The hosts contemplate rebranding to better distinguish between their video segments (Superfly) and their more intimate, interview-based content (Fly on the Wall). They reassure listeners that updates will be announced soon, maintaining transparency with their audience.

---

2. Dana Carvey’s Latest Comedy Special

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Dana Carvey's recent stand-up special. Dana shares insights into her creative process, challenges faced during production, and audience reactions.

• Dana Carvey ([11:00]): “I had a set list, like I do because I want it to be like every other standup show.”

Dana recounts an anecdote where a director requested her to switch to blue paper for her set list, leading her to hastily write in a magic marker that was difficult to read. This experience highlights the unpredictable nature of live performance and the importance of adaptability.

• Dana Carvey ([11:41]): “Why am I doing this for the camera guy? I don't give a fat fuck if they see my set list on the stool.”

Cary Grant adds humor by suggesting that the complexities of live shows often lead to last-minute changes, further emphasizing the spontaneity required in stand-up comedy.

---

3. Evolution of Comedy Bits

The hosts delve into how comedy bits develop and evolve over time, comparing old material with new additions.

• Cary Grant ([13:00]): “Great bits are better the second, third, fourth time if it's a great bit, because then you're just…”

They discuss the merits of refining existing jokes versus creating entirely new content. Dana emphasizes the value of expanding on successful bits to enhance their comedic impact.

• Dana Carvey ([15:39]): “It's good because sometimes you do the. They're a little undercooked because you just thought them. You go, oh, I'll throw this on. And then you start to work it.”

Cary Grant reminisces about his longstanding joke about Scarface at Thanksgiving dinner, illustrating how a single bit can be honed and extended to captivate audiences over multiple performances.

• Cary Grant ([14:53]): “Ora. And they have a bowl of carrot corn. I go, set for a smoke…”

---

4. Beekeeping and Environmental Comedy

One of the standout segments features a comedic discussion on the alarming decline in bee populations, intertwining environmental concerns with humor.

• Cary Grant ([43:21]): “Bees are pollinating more than a third of them.”

Dana highlights the critical role bees play in ecosystems while injecting humor about their behavior and necessity.

• Dana Carvey ([44:00]): “Bees are the backbone of our ecosystem. Right. They really are.”

This blend of serious commentary with comedic elements exemplifies the hosts' ability to address important topics while keeping the tone light and engaging.

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5. Fear of Flying and Aviation Humor

Dana and Cary transition into a humorous exploration of the anxieties associated with flying, drawing parallels between historical aviation challenges and modern-day fears.

• Cary Grant ([64:16]): “They have a non-stop... runways are too short for the aircraft?”

Dana shares personal strategies for coping with flight stress, adding relatable humor for listeners who share similar fears.

• Dana Carvey ([65:05]): “I have a pee pad like a dog and I put [it] under my seat.”

Their playful exchanges underscore common experiences with air travel, making the content both amusing and identifiable.

---

6. Action Movie Tropes and Comedic Parodies

The discussion shifts to action movie clichés, where Dana and Cary dissect iconic lines and character archetypes, using them as fodder for their comedic routines.

• Cary Grant ([48:22]): “I have skills I've acquired to make me a nightmare for our person...”

Dana references memorable moments from films like Breaking Bad to illustrate the exaggerated personas often depicted in media.

• Dana Carvey ([49:32]): “When he tells the wife, she goes, 'Aren't you worried about danger?' And he goes, 'I am the danger.'”

By parodying these tropes, the hosts provide a humorous critique of the over-the-top nature of action heroes, resonating with fans of the genre.

---

7. Upcoming Gigs and Corporate Performances

Cary shares experiences from performing at corporate events, blending behind-the-scenes anecdotes with comedic insights into audience dynamics.

• Cary Grant ([63:14]): “When you're contracted to do a certain amount of time...”

Dana and Cary humorously recount the unpredictability of corporate gigs, where they balance professionalism with spontaneous humor to engage often tired and unenthusiastic audiences.

• Dana Carvey ([63:27]): “You go to a concert, it's fun. You see the floor and you see the set list of a band...”

These stories add a personal touch, highlighting the challenges and rewards of performing in diverse settings.

---

8. Guest Interactions and Skits

Towards the latter part of the episode, Dana and Cary engage in skits involving impersonations of celebrities like Michael J. Fox, blending improvisation with scripted humor.

• Cary Grant ([41:11]): “I'm Michael, we came to stop you, man.”

These segments showcase the hosts' versatility and ability to incorporate character work into their conversations, enriching the episode's entertainment value.

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9. Listener Engagement and Future Content

The hosts emphasize the importance of audience feedback, addressing both positive comments and handling criticism with humor.

• Dana Carvey ([67:07]): “We love the comments, even the mean ones. Actually, I don't like them. But I'm not afraid to block someone though.”

They tease future content, hinting at expanded segments and continued evolution of their comedic repertoire.

• Cary Grant ([67:03]): “Because we love you. We love the crowd for listening or watching.”

---

Conclusion

Superfly #68 masterfully intertwines humor with insightful commentary on the nature of relationships within the entertainment industry. Dana Carvey and David Spade, alongside their comedic colleagues, deliver an engaging episode filled with memorable quotes, relatable anecdotes, and sharp wit. Whether dissecting comedy specials, parodying action movie tropes, or sharing behind-the-scenes stories, the hosts create a rich tapestry of content that both entertains and resonates with listeners. As they navigate the themes of romance and performance, Dana and David reaffirm their place as beloved figures in the comedy landscape, leaving audiences eagerly anticipating future episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey ([07:06]): “Superfly and Fly on the Wall were a little too confusing for people.”

• Cary Grant ([14:03]): “Pasta sui poteros. But it started out at two minutes to three.”

• Dana Carvey ([15:39]): “It's good because sometimes you do the. They're a little undercooked because you just thought them.”

• Cary Grant ([43:21]): “Bees are pollinating more than a third of them.”

• Dana Carvey ([44:00]): “Bees are the backbone of our ecosystem. Right. They really are.”

• Dana Carvey ([49:32]): “When he tells the wife, she goes, 'Aren't you worried about danger?' And he goes, 'I am the danger.'”

• Dana Carvey ([65:05]): “I have a pee pad like a dog and I put [it] under my seat.”

• Dana Carvey ([67:07]): “We love the comments, even the mean ones. Actually, I don't like them. But I'm not afraid to block someone though.”

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of humor and insightful observations, providing a snapshot of the engaging discussions that unfold throughout Superfly #68.

Transcript

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

Dana what does a confident smile say to you? And maybe more importantly, what does it say about you with Smile Generation? It says you're taking care of more than just your teeth. Because confidence doesn't start and stop at a bright smile. It's about your whole body wellness. Smile Generation reimagines oral health as the gateway to long term confidence. Why? Because oral health issues have been linked to heart disease, diabetes and even cognitive conditions. When you care for your smile, you're investing in your future and that confidence. It starts with feeling supported with Smile Generation trusted providers, you're not just another patient, you're a partner.

[Cary Grant]

They prioritize personal, patient focused care that truly listens to you. Plus, with education and preventive care at the core, Smile Generation empowers you to understand the connection between your mouth and overall health so you can stop issues before they start. Here's your chance to take the first step. Smile Generation is offering a $59 new patient special that's a comprehensive exam, cleaning and x rays. A $290 value. New patients Only offer not valid for Tricare or Medicare Advantage may be covered by insurance, subject to plan restrictions. Booked by December 31, 2025. Visit smilegeneration.com fi for full terms and to book now. This is Cary Grant. If there's nothing wrong with this, as if he was a gay man.

[Dana Carvey]

Sure, I don't believe it.

[Cary Grant]

I do believe I'm sitting on your penis.

[Dana Carvey]

Cary Grant as a gay? Wasn't he gay?

[Cary Grant]

I'm not saying anyone's gay. I'm just saying if he was, it would sound like this.

[Dana Carvey]

My mom I can't believe it.

[Cary Grant]

I'm sitting on your penis.

[Dana Carvey]

God, he really amped it up on that one. You know, My mom said Cary Grant. She, she said, when I heard he was gay, I knew it because I get nothing from him. She was, I loved him, but I was like nothing that's so funny. My mom, she could think he's gay.

[Cary Grant]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

I think he was.

[Cary Grant]

Oh, you.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's go to the phones. No, let's go to the homophobic YouTube comments. Homophobic. Is that a real sneeze? That was a good one.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah. Look, I was a character actor. So this is two things that are visual about me right now. So this is. I. I finally. These fucking shoes. Nothing against Hoka. I'm going to try them. But the clown shoes with three inches of rubber, there's a point of diminishing returns. There's a point where you bounce all around. So I've got these ones, those. So I'm walking down the hallway, going to the gig, and they're just walking and I'm stumbling all over the place and go, well, you know, he's getting a little long in a tooth. No, I'm not. I got fucked up, you know, Bozo shoes. So these are 10 years old. Feel how firm the heel is.

[Evan]

You want to touch my.

[Dana Carvey]

I like that firmness. So sickening. Yeah, so I. I'll take your word for it.

[Evan]

Oh, how sweet it is.

[Dana Carvey]

Smell the firmness.

[Evan]

Oh, I'm getting a contact high for my ghost tins.

[Cary Grant]

All right, so my birthday is coming up, so my wife got me a present. Okay, don't call it a man purse. It's a man bag.

[Dana Carvey]

So a merse.

[Cary Grant]

I've been resistant to one of these things. Cause I felt like I would look like I'm a British postman. We've got a letter for you, sir, from the king. You know, so. And also just the effect all the.

[Dana Carvey]

Way back on for that.

[Cary Grant]

So this is not a joke, okay, for everybody here.

[Evan]

This.

[Cary Grant]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna take out all my stuff. So what I do is I have this lightweight puffy jacket and I have pockets, and that's.

[Greg]

That.

[Cary Grant]

That's my surrogate man purse. So let's put this down for a second and see what I have legit on a regular basis. Remember when you laughed the other day.

[Dana Carvey]

What'S in Dana's coat?

[Cary Grant]

When I came out, like three different. Okay, we've got my glasses and a pin. We've got, of course, you know, the wallet. Another pin. Let's go over here.

[Dana Carvey]

We have money popping out of it.

[Cary Grant]

This. Oh, this is a travel thing that looks like a sex toy. Yeah, the all new orange rabbit. No, this is shampoo for getting through airlines.

[Dana Carvey]

Really? I'll. You. I'll give you a clue. It fits up my ass when I'm on The road. Third glasses, more glasses, fourth glasses, fourth.

[Cary Grant]

Glasses and then some post its and I don't know why. So they were all in my jacket. Now let's see with now Remco's man purse. Santa might be come early for you this year.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. What makes the man.

[Cary Grant]

So there we are. Let's see if it can get in here. Now if I put it in here very slowly. I feel like I'm David Blaine. Yeah, just watch. Just watch. I'm going to put it in here. Just watch. Just watch. Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to put this all in here.

[Dana Carvey]

I can make that shampoo disappear in my butthole.

[Cary Grant]

Think, think of why. Butthole and time. I've had Cary Grant doing his thing and you said butthole in the first four minutes. So we do this. We take off this jacket that's 12 years old.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, wait a second.

[Cary Grant]

So the people at home watching the demonstration, just feel it.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay? It's a real jacket, everyone.

[Cary Grant]

Real jacket.

[Dana Carvey]

You've never met this jacket before.

[Cary Grant]

I like a uniform. And you're. So now I'm putting on my super cool stolen jean jacket. Now I'm going to stand up, Evan, and you'll see a cool guy come in.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, what's up? Oh, Heather gave the right reaction.

[Cary Grant]

Are you okay?

[Dana Carvey]

Everybody cool in here?

[Cary Grant]

What's going on?

[Dana Carvey]

All right, anybody need to get knocked the out?

[Cary Grant]

Anything? Anybody need anything?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, anybody need a couple pairs of glasses there now?

[Cary Grant]

And now you're not going to lose this.

[Dana Carvey]

No way.

[Cary Grant]

So you know that kind of thing.

[Dana Carvey]

I like that.

[Evan]

Do you?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I bet you could. Honestly, I thought you were going to put your jacket into the puffy one because Bobby, we're on the road. He rolls his jacket up and he puts it in a little bag this big. His puffy jacket.

[Cary Grant]

It's crazy. I could do that.

[Dana Carvey]

You could do it. I thought that might be part of the magic.

[Cary Grant]

I don't know. So that's my b.

[Dana Carvey]

Now a word from Fruit Fresh or whatever. Sponsors.

[Cary Grant]

Do you have a story? Because I have topics. Do you have a story? Let's go back and forth because it's, you know.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. Well, welcome to Superfly or whatever it's called.

[Cary Grant]

Superfly. That name may be a sunset.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, we got.

[Cary Grant]

We don't know yet.

[Dana Carvey]

We got news coming for you.

[Cary Grant]

We might sunset the name because we unintentionally, I take the blame for it because I just said Superfly never went. They liked it and I didn't like it.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a great idea. But we might have some news for you by next week also. I don't know. Do we say anything?

[Cary Grant]

I don't know what to do. Well, no. Well, basically the idea was whatever we do, we're doing. We're just being honest with the fans. Superfly and Fly on the Wall were a little too confusing for people. I actually met one guy in Minneapolis at a corporate date who understood it. Oh, yeah. Hey, Fly on the Walls. That's. That's the interview one. Mostly not on video and Super Flies, but even Rob Lowe went Superfly, so. So we may do something with that, but we'll. We'll make announcements soon, right?

[Dana Carvey]

They might be beep, beep merging every time.

[Cary Grant]

Every time. Because I was having a nice cold beer. I'm watching your special, and every time you did a sound effect. And I had a lot of beer that night.

[Dana Carvey]

I forgot there's one. Right. Just do the sound effects on purpose.

[Cary Grant]

No, they were great. I love the way you incor incorporate them. You don't lean on them. You're not like Mike, you know?

[Dana Carvey]

You know where they help in real life is when I'm checking out at self checkout, I just click this, and then it's a hundred dollars. But I only pay three.

[Cary Grant]

So you use it for criminal activity. Okay, I have a whole different way to think about. So anyway, I saw Dandelion.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, boy. By the way, I have an announcement. We did a. We did a poll on my Instagram. Who says Dandelion and who says Dandelion? I said Dana says Dandelion. And we went to the polls and the people have spoken. And it's. It's 57% say dandelion. Can you believe it?

[Cary Grant]

Well, of course. I mean, I went to San Francisco State. I know how to pronounce words.

[Dana Carvey]

You were right. Yeah, but 43% were wrong.

[Cary Grant]

Well, that is a. A very poor tocular.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[Cary Grant]

Type of talkular. Portocular. How do you pronounce it?

[Dana Carvey]

What is it?

[Greg]

Particular.

[Cary Grant]

Some people say particular.

[Dana Carvey]

I say particular.

[Cary Grant]

I say portocular.

[Dana Carvey]

You're getting everyone right, man. You're ahead of the game.

[Cary Grant]

Thank you.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, let's go back to Dandelion. So Dana watched.

[Cary Grant]

I watched David Specials.

[Dana Carvey]

Talk about jury duty. Talk about a write off.

[Cary Grant]

I watched it.

[Dana Carvey]

It's all for work. Okay, go ahead.

[Cary Grant]

No, I saw the special.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, good. That's a good review.

[Cary Grant]

Don't you love that? I've had people come up to me at an airport. I saw your special and then nothing else.

[Dana Carvey]

That's it. I get this. Hey, were you in Grown Ups? I go, thank you. And they go, thank you. What? I go, what'd you say? They go, were you in Grown Ups? I go, yeah. And they go, oh. And I go, I was good in it.

[Cary Grant]

Or. And they're like, hey, you were on Saturday Night Live.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, thank you.

[Cary Grant]

I go, thanks, sister.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, but nothing, nothing.

[Cary Grant]

But look, here's. Here's the inside. Baseball is. You can kind of flip the salmon right now if you're cooking.

[Dana Carvey]

Everyone's cooking.

[Cary Grant]

Everyone's cooking. Or hiking in their car, making love while they listen to this.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you think they put us as background noise?

[Cary Grant]

There's a lot of sex going on with us in the background. This woman said, I don't know why it turns. Me and my husband on made that up. So anyway, a comedian. It's like a surgeon watching a surgeon. You know, they're gonna be, holy. You're doing surgery. So I'm just saying. Oh, he's got that. I. I can't get out of my head. I'm watching someone do. Oh, that's a good bit. Oh, he's taking that. Oh, my God, Another water hit. Okay, now he's coming up. So I enjoyed it, but I can't watch it like a regular.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, I'm sick. And that you watch it because to have someone I like watch it as someone that's funny, actually funny. Watch it. It just hit me. Horrified by it. But it is hard. And I'm sure when I watch it, I go. I go, I'm hitting the water too much. I take a sip.

[Cary Grant]

Well, they can cut that out.

[Dana Carvey]

I was gonna cut it out, but I didn't because sometimes it looks too jumpy. But I left a few in, so people know I do drink water, and I don't want them to think I don't. And then I had a set list on the table. You'll laugh at this. I had a set list, like I do because I want it to be like every other standup show. And then the director goes. Or the guy goes, Camera guy goes, hey, man, I see your set list. It's white. So they brought me blue paper in the back and go, write it on here. And I go, I've never had blue paper. I don't want anything different. I wrote it with a magic marker and I couldn't really read it. Classic. Don't change anything right before you go out. That was right before I went out.

[Cary Grant]

Wait a minute. So you wrote your set list and never tried it with a Magic marker on blue paper. And then when you went out, you looked at it and go, holy shit, I can't read it right.

[Dana Carvey]

Because I'm like, why am I doing this for the camera guy? I don't give a fat fuck if they see my set list on the stool. You go to a concert, it's fun. You see the floor and you see the set list of a band. But I just went along with it to be a great guy. Cause I have fucking great guy syndrome and it sucks sometimes. And then. But I have it on a monitor.

[Cary Grant]

That's the title of your next special.

[Dana Carvey]

I do have it on a monitor. And if I'm stuck, I can look it up.

[Cary Grant]

I thought it was great. I mean, obviously you killed. And the bits were really funny and you were physical. And I mean, I, you know, stand up specials are, you know, what, what do you. I mean, the main. The main thing you want to do is have fun and be funny.

[Dana Carvey]

So, yes, I did have that, and I did have a good time. I've heard nice things, but, you know, you never know what you're hearing. But Sometimes people on YouTube and Instagram are very direct. They don't beat around the bush.

[Cary Grant]

So again, have you ever met any human being who wrote a nasty thing online? Have you? I know anyone besides Evan and Greg?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. My latest. You suck troller.

[Cary Grant]

I'm feeling better. I'm bringing you down. Shut up, Brian. But people loved it.

[Dana Carvey]

No, but I think I heard nice things about it and I'm glad you watched it. And we'll put it to bed after this. But it was nice to get one out of the way. And then when I go on the road now and people go, oh, you're going to Omaha. And a lot of people say, should I watch the special first or should I come see you on the road first? And that's a tough decision. I would say watch it and then there'll be some repeats because I like to keep some of the ones that really work in there. And then there'll be some new stuff, so.

[Cary Grant]

Well, yeah, I think great bits are better the second, third, fourth time if it's a great bit, because then you're just, you know, I see Bobby Lee.

[Dana Carvey]

I saw him the other night, and I'm like, with my friend, I go, oh, I want him to do this one. I want to do this one. And if they don't, I go, and.

[Cary Grant]

If they hit it a little bit.

[Dana Carvey]

Different or whatever, it's always gonna be a hair different, but. And some bits expand since you did them right and they're even more polished and you get the edges off and they're better.

[Cary Grant]

Well, I used to do. I mean, this goes back since 1983, when I fell in love with the movie Scarface, like with every other comedian at the time. So everyone had a Scarface bit. Mine was Scarface at Thanksgiving dinner.

[Greg]

Pasta sui poteros.

[Dana Carvey]

A good long bit, too. It was a good chunk.

[Cary Grant]

Pasta sui poteros. But it started out at two minutes to three. And now sometime, sometimes when I played the casino, it was packed and so much energy, I think it was almost a 20 minute.

[Dana Carvey]

You can just keep milking it because it kills.

[Cary Grant]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg]

What are you going to do? You want me to eat the corn on a cob, man? The corn on a cob. You get the corn in your teeth and the cob. You don't. They don't tell you about the cob, man. The cob is worse than the corn. Corn on the cob. That's what she want me to eat, huh? What are you going to do? You want me to eat what you want me to eat?

[Cary Grant]

He said Thanksgiving, you want me to.

[Greg]

Eat a jello with a walnut inside. So the jello goes down, the walnut gets stuck in my.

[Evan]

Esophagus.

[Cary Grant]

Oh, yeah. So I go. And then he goes crazy on the grandmother who he thinks ate all the sweet potatoes.

[Dana Carvey]

I remember all this.

[Cary Grant]

I could do this all day.

[Greg]

Grandma, Grandma, look at you, man. Birthday time. There was a bowl of carrot corn. I go, set for a smoke. I come back, no carrot corn, man. You ate all a carrot corn. I told believe. You like to eat, don't you, man? You like to eat. You like I eat? You like I eat. I see you with the Whitman sampler. You stick your thumb in the back.

[Dana Carvey]

You don't get the caramel sampler.

[Greg]

You don't get the caramel. You put it right back in a box. Because you don't check out a guide inside the women's semper corresponding guide tells you what a coconut is. The caramel is. You know, you just dig in there like that. It's like a good.

[Cary Grant]

So I'll go on and on and on. So my point was you don't need any other bits.

[Dana Carvey]

That thing just must.

[Cary Grant]

To your point, bits getting longer, extenuating.

[Dana Carvey]

It's good because sometimes you do the. They're a little undercooked because you just thought them. You go, oh, I'll throw this on. And then you start to work it. I went out last night trying to. Because I'm trying To do new stuff and try to work stuff. And it is fun. When new bits work, it's great. And when they bond, so disheartening, there's nothing new.

[Cary Grant]

And if you have an old bit where you're adding stuff to it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Cary Grant]

Then it's a new bit again. I would just say this in the modern era, if I was going to engage in this particular activity of the Stand up special. Let's just say I'm announcing it now. I wear. I solemnly swear.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Cary Grant]

To do a special every month for the next 12 months, I will go to a comedy club.

[Dana Carvey]

Whoa.

[Cary Grant]

With a little tiny crew like these two numbskulls over here, these knuckleheads, and do maybe just two cameras, minimal light, and just do 10 or 12 minutes. Either crowd work or stuff. I'm thinking of in the moment. The.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, and put it out like that. Yeah.

[Cary Grant]

A special every month. This idea that two years without David Spade, two years, we have to knock them.

[Dana Carvey]

They're suffocating, they need it. And also, I shot it in fucking Rocktober. So I'm not blaming Amazon because this is just sort of how it goes. Amazon's great, right?

[Cary Grant]

You had the submarine one. You had. What were the ones that were sort of your classic bits for the last two years?

[Greg]

Oh, that.

[Dana Carvey]

I've had those, but then some. You know, I don't want anything sitting on a shelf for eight months. But, you know, Hulu, when they came to me, they said, we'll put it out in a year and a half. I'm like, a year and a half?

[Cary Grant]

How do you know that? You work with current events like we do here.

[Dana Carvey]

Like, it's fun to think of something. And sometimes there was something last night I can't remember, but I was like, this is good for a couple. Couple weeks, couple months. It's still funny. But then at a certain point, everyone's like, that's dead. Just move on, you know?

[Cary Grant]

Yeah. You can just. You can just assort it feel. Although the Menendez brothers. Lots and lots of jokes in the 90s. Then it became cornball, faded away, faded away. Now they're back, come back. So you never know. It's time to bring out your Menendez.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, it's funny is that you brought this up that the other day on the news, they go, great news for the Menendez brothers And I go, oh, what? They go, 50 years with parole. I go, I love when that's good news in your life.

[Cary Grant]

Well, the thing Is, they've done 35, so the guy said 50 now. So 50 makes them eligible. You know all that. So they can get out now, you know?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Time served. What's. Are you okay? You missing one of your spouses?

[Cary Grant]

No, I don't need. I don't need notes. I'm going.

[Evan]

This.

[Cary Grant]

These are random thoughts as we ping pong around.

[Dana Carvey]

Where's your baker's dozen glasses?

[Cary Grant]

I got a trim. I got.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, you're also wearing them, and then you've got four.

[Cary Grant]

I got a haircut, and I left some of my other glasses at Chris Rios's salon. That's why I was three minutes late.

[Dana Carvey]

Dude, why are you burying that story?

[Cary Grant]

Here's.

[Dana Carvey]

I went to Rite Aid.

[Cary Grant]

I felt I needed a little trim. I knew. I said, okay, Superfly at 10p 10am that, that's on the unimportant list. So let's go to Rite Aid, let's pick up our meds, go get a little haircut. Oil change. No. Here's my thought.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[Cary Grant]

Don't ever deny in life. Always go. Yes. Here's an example. So Trump gets a $400 million plane from Qatar. He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't get.

[Evan]

Up there and go, well, it's not really a gift. I mean, it's a thing. They're giving it. It's not really a gift. He just says, give me a gift. It's a beautiful gift. If I don't take the gift, I'd have to be stupid. I'd be very stupid. Look, and if you think about it, I'd be a stupid person not to take the gift.

[Cary Grant]

So a lot of people think it's unconstitutional, but how do you come back.

[Evan]

At someone who says, yeah, I did it. I got the plane.

[Greg]

What are you talking about?

[Cary Grant]

If Nixon in 19 going back. If Nixon had said, of course I told the boys to break into the Democratic national place. I wanted to know what those commie bastards were up to. He never would have got impeached. Because you never. You don't give them any air. If Bill Clinton, if Bill Clinton had said, instead of, I did not have sex with him, I had sex without mama, over and over. I mean, she was a hot, hot mama, and I had a lot of sex. There'd been no room to prosecute. So Trump's genius, if you will, that'll go over half our audience is never denying, just having fun.

[Evan]

We'll get in a beautiful blend. What do you think I'm crazy?

[Cary Grant]

Hey, you know, Qatar's like, we give it to you for free by the way Qatar gives away a lot of 747s to a lot of countries.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, it's not strings attached.

[Evan]

What do you give you? We give you 400 million dollar plane. We don't expect anything in return. But if you wanted to give us something, we wouldn't turn it down.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, it's like a nickel to them.

[Cary Grant]

That's a Qatarian accent.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. He wouldn't. I agree. They, they. Trump acts like it's a slinky, you know, like they gave it to me. It's a stocking stuffer. But well, yeah, I have to say, people, it is a little itchy because you go, what if they have.

[Cary Grant]

What if guitar says, could we get.

[Evan]

A couple of your nuclear bombs?

[Dana Carvey]

Or they just blow it up one day they got a kill switch in there. Or they, or they have a find your phone on it, you know, or.

[Cary Grant]

They, or they stick a little guy in there. They stick a little lean, tiny man. And Trump's going around the Air Force One, you know, for security purposes, where.

[Dana Carvey]

The best part is.

[Evan]

What's down here? What's your name? My name is Kokosis. I'm hiding in planes so that later on I will sabotage with little scissors.

[Dana Carvey]

For wires, cut wires.

[Evan]

Well, you're admitting to your crime. You're admitting it. You're not hiding it. So I'm going to hire you on the spot. You got a job.

[Cary Grant]

You're in charge of security.

[Evan]

Who are you working for? Hamas and Iran?

[Cary Grant]

Sorry.

[Dana Carvey]

God damn.

[Evan]

Now you're working for the US of A. I'll tell you that much. And I'll tell you again. And I know how to tell you. Look at it and think about it and I'll tell you.

[Cary Grant]

Anyway, I don't know if I had anything else.

[Dana Carvey]

That's it. That's good.

[Cary Grant]

What do you. Oh, this was one. Okay, so the families dressed up P. Diddy's family. And they look beautiful.

[Dana Carvey]

We're on a P. Diddy. I love it.

[Evan]

They're.

[Cary Grant]

They, they look beautiful. And they're coming into the court and they're gorgeous clothes. And they're coming in, you know, supporting pops or whatever. Yes. Watch this. You know, and then they have to hear the testimony. Do they ever kind of slink down in chairs a little bit like, geez, I didn't know dad was fast.

[Dana Carvey]

I didn't know what. I knew he was a record executive, but it's a lot to. That job I didn't know about. Also that the Cassie who's with her new husband and he's got to hear this stuff. He's like, I know you had that one problem in the elevator. It feels like there was a little more going on. I mean, good God, to hear that every day like this.

[Cary Grant]

I know it's dark humor, but look, it's our job. But I would say this. A lot of times when someone's caught red handed, their defense attorney will announce this, and he did it with P. Diddy. Is he a nice guy?

[Dana Carvey]

That's the best.

[Cary Grant]

No. Is he a nasty guy? Yeah. Can he be mean? Yes. Does he have a temper? Yes. Will he kick women in an elevator?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[Cary Grant]

Yes. But did he commit a crime?

[Dana Carvey]

Right.

[Cary Grant]

I don't think so.

[Dana Carvey]

Does he like to rub jizz on himself? Possibly. Does that make him a bad guy? Yes. But should he go to jail? No. Like, come on. He's not. He's a jerk.

[Cary Grant]

He's a monster. He's a horrible person. Should he spend a night in county jail? Absolutely not. The oil.

[Dana Carvey]

I wouldn't.

[Cary Grant]

And then beats them with a racquetball. Is he. Is that rude? Is it aggressive? Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

Does he like his girlfriend getting ramrod?

[Cary Grant]

Should he go to prison?

[Dana Carvey]

No, that's. That's what he likes to do in his spare time. He's a record executive. Does he don't understand that business?

[Cary Grant]

Does he use household items and tools to do different things to different people?

[Dana Carvey]

Use a spatula a different way than you would? Yes.

[Cary Grant]

We use sponges for different activities. Just because he's adapting obvious household items for sexual purposes does not mean that my client deserves to go to prison.

[Dana Carvey]

Right. Does he give sex workers jobs? Yes. He's helping the economy. What about this here's, by the way, Cassie's.

[Cary Grant]

Nothing further. Your honor, can we riff on this bit longer? Yes. Does it make us boring? No. It's just us going on and on.

[Dana Carvey]

Cassie. It helps her, I think, to be pregnant because it's. It is a little more sympathy. But, you know, the baby's like this. This is the first time hearing the.

[Cary Grant]

The babies. Doesn't.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, the babies inside listening like this. Wait, what happened? Wait, can you back that up? Can you read that one back? Wait, my. This. Mom. The one I.

[Cary Grant]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Because. Yeah, I'll stop there. That's fine.

[Cary Grant]

It was a little. It was a dark territory to go into.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a. It's. But it's a tough place in that.

[Cary Grant]

Mostly just the idea of the defense of someone with that. And they did it with OJ too.

[Dana Carvey]

What is the actual. Like, OJ's was straight up Murder. What is the actual thing? Is it sex trafficking? What do they really want to get?

[Cary Grant]

Well, there's a word that I kind of had to look up and I want to ask the people if they really know what it means.

[Dana Carvey]

Is it Dan?

[Cary Grant]

Racketeering.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, racketeering.

[Cary Grant]

Rico. Rico, the racketeering. That means unlawful activities to procure money. Basically a gangster threatening people.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, the screen just went lit up. All right, what are we going to show here? Oh, you want something? No, I don't know. I just saw Google.

[Cary Grant]

I don't know how we're only supposed to do 30 minutes. Now.

[Dana Carvey]

What's better? Oh, look at this here. I want to talk about this. Dana. I'm a little bit of a spendy Susie.

[Cary Grant]

A boozy Susie and a spendy Susie.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm more of a boozy Susie.

[Cary Grant]

But yeah, you are. You are a spendy spender. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And a lot of our listeners are nice enough to write in and say you look like you drank a lot and slept on your face. But that's just constructive criticism.

[Cary Grant]

Well, it's very concise and you don't really drink very much. I'll tell the fans.

[Dana Carvey]

But just puffy. This is where Klarna comes in. Klarna is your everyday smarter spending partner, which is what a lot of people need. A lot of my friends definitely need it. It allows you to make smarter decisions with your money and it's sometimes good to have a partner like that.

[Cary Grant]

I'll say it again. Klarna, which I assume is Swedish, Klarna is your smarter everyday spending partner.

[Dana Carvey]

Shoppers can use Klarna's pay in for product to split their purchase into four interest free payments.

[Cary Grant]

That's right. Here's some key takeaways. Listen up, brother. Klarna offers a pay in for product where you don't have to pay interest. I think that's a good thing.

[Dana Carvey]

You can pay with Klarna at merchant checkout in the Klarna app or with the Klarna card.

[Cary Grant]

You can also compare prices at your favorite stores and earn cash back when you shop in the app.

[Dana Carvey]

They're making it effortless for in app shoppers to get more value from every purchase. So choose Klarna your favorite retailers or shop [e-mail] CA resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California Finance Law License NMLS number 1353190.

[Cary Grant]

Klarna balance account required. Klarna may get a commission. Limitations, terms and conditions apply.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm just gonna do.

[Cary Grant]

I'm just gonna say it It's a klarna summer.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. You know, Dana, there's a, there's a term you might not hear a lot called ed.

[Cary Grant]

Ed phone home.

[Dana Carvey]

Close. Ed get harder. Yeah, this is HIMS is. You know what? HIMS is one of our sponsors, Sexual hymns. Absolutely. Helps you get confidence back. ED is out there and it's very prevalent. People don't talk about it. We do. We're not afraid.

[Cary Grant]

We're not afraid to go into personal areas and, and, and help our audience with this.

[Dana Carvey]

Has no problem. Treatments that get things going and go.

[Cary Grant]

Longer and I mean if you're feeling a little stalled out in the bedroom through hims, I'm just saying, David, you can get some of the gas back in the tank, if you know what I mean.

[Dana Carvey]

I do. Yeah.

[Cary Grant]

And guess what? It's personalized ED treatment options that are accessible without ever stepping foot into a doctor's office. Get it? Got it. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Listen, HIMSS is just changing men's healthcare because they get access to affordable sexual health treatments. From your couch, you have to go into the doctor.

[Cary Grant]

That's right. HIMSS provides access to a range of doctor trusted ED treatments like chewable tablets, chewable Viagra, Cialis and their generics for up to 95% less.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, it's funny because sometimes you're out making out in the car, it's not your fault. And then down there it's going like this. Are we doing this? Are we doing this? And then things start to happen and then like, oh, we're driving again. Oh, we're at the door making out. We doing this? I don't know. So sometimes it's not your fault. Like it's just a matter of reps. Like. And then when you really want things to happen, it's like, give me a second.

[Cary Grant]

Relax your sex life to sound like this. You don't want it to sound like this.

[Dana Carvey]

Exactly what I was thinking. Listen, there's no doctor visit. You just fill out a form. Medical provider will determine the right treatment option. You know, if they prescribe it, it's go right. Goes right to you.

[Cary Grant]

Process is 100 online. So there's no need for the uncomfortable doctor visits. Like, let's take a look and see what's going on. None of that. No insurance needed. Like you said, one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care. Start your free online Visit [e-mail] SuperFly that's H I M S.com SuperFly for your personalized ED treatment options. Hiss.com SuperFly the feature products Include compounded products which are not approved nor verified for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescription required. See a website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan.

[Dana Carvey]

So this is mission possible. Which Tom Cruise and Anna de Armas. I don't think she's in the movie. There's a.

[Cary Grant]

There's a. Forgot to button her blouse. I'm sorry. Is that a fashion statement?

[Dana Carvey]

She's horribly embarrassed.

[Cary Grant]

I mean, is that. It just looks like a blouse that wasn't.

[Dana Carvey]

But that's what's supposed to be.

[Cary Grant]

Tom Cruise.

[Dana Carvey]

A stunner. By the way. Brawl it.

[Cary Grant]

Well, you don't see it, but there was a video of this and he's kind of singing like, like the blouse on button. Like, like the blouse on button. Tom Cruise was singing the blouse on button. Tom Cruise always looks.

[Dana Carvey]

Take it off, take it off, take it off.

[Cary Grant]

Stripping down. Strip it down. So he's got the panties in a bra like that. Go ahead.

[Dana Carvey]

This is coming out next week. I bought tickets. One, two things about this one.

[Cary Grant]

Mission Impossible.

[Dana Carvey]

Running time roughly three hours. I'll tell you when I see most of it. I can't wait to go see most of this movie because I do not think I can last with the thx. And then they have an ad for Dolby sound. Guys, I'm not a director. Who is this ad going to? Guys I see it's an ad for Coke. I'll buy Coke. Dolby sound. I'm like, is it my choice? Don't make an ad. You're wasting your time. I can't pick the sound of the movie. So that. And then you got Nicole Kidman still clunking in on her heels and sitting and watching like, skip it all. Let's get to the goddang three hour movie.

[Cary Grant]

Nicole Kidman announced today that she's not going to do another movie next week.

[Dana Carvey]

She's waiting the week after.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, she goes every week. I'll say this, there was a point where sound got scary. I don't know if it's THX or Dolby, but if I was in those really tight stadium theaters with speakers all around, it would kind of. Am I blowing an eardrum to see this movie? But I. My, my relationship with Mr. Tom Cruise. I met him a little bit taller.

[Dana Carvey]

Whoops.

[Cary Grant]

You were?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I believe that. You're not sure.

[Cary Grant]

I'm such a huge fan of Tom Cruise as times gone have gone on. I mean he's done such great stuff. I read for Risky Business even though I'm Older than him.

[Dana Carvey]

Beeswax.

[Cary Grant]

That's one of his big ones. And then you look at Tom Cruise being Tom Cruise and his commitment. And then in these last 10 years, he's literally willing to kill himself to entertain it. As held his breath for 14 minutes hanging off planes. I. I just gotta go see it because, you know, he's doing stuff where he could be dead.

[Dana Carvey]

David. Yeah, he's turning into like David Blaine in these movies.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, more than that.

[Dana Carvey]

I'll jump off a 75 foot clip.

[Cary Grant]

Okay, this is what I'm gonna do. Okay, look, look, look. Do you see a card? Look at it, look at it. Now put it back anywhere in here. Okay. Now, now go walk down there to that 7 11. There's a box of cookies, Oreo cookies. Go look in there and your card will be in there.

[Dana Carvey]

And it's signed.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, I love that guy.

[Dana Carvey]

But.

[Cary Grant]

But he, but I don't blame him.

[Dana Carvey]

He's has a. A romance with this girl. And we don't know if it's a fomance or maybe even a showmance because it seems to percolate around the time movies come out. I have a girlfriend now, and you got to check it out. And it's. It just generates attention to the movie because they say Tom has a girlfriend. You know, Tom's movie's coming out next week and they bring. So it's. If it's staged, it's fine because she's gorgeous. Girl he should be dating. If he's dating her, it's all fine. But it always happens around a movie.

[Cary Grant]

She. Around the movie premiere. Yeah. Like you don't want to be cynical about it, but she was. No, she was with Ben Affleck. And there was a call, and I don't know if it was AI generated.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[Cary Grant]

But Affleck called. Tom Cruise. Yeah, I got her for about six more weeks. Yeah, we're trending. Good. Movie's gonna open big account too.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Cary Grant]

When do you want her? All right, so a month before Mission Impossible release. Okay. I'll tell Anna. She's. She's good to go. She's good with this.

[Dana Carvey]

When does tracking come on? Three weeks before. Okay, that's the latest.

[Cary Grant]

Her fee to be your girlfriend before the movie. It's about 300, 000 a week. Good with that. Okay. Scientologist. I'm kidding, Tom.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. There's rumors, you know, of agencies out here setting people together to help both their careers.

[Cary Grant]

They did it in the 1950s. They put Marilyn Monroe with Tony Curtis. It's just it's part of the business. But if they end up married and making a baby, I'm. I'm happy for them.

[Dana Carvey]

Ultimately, when all the dust settles, I'm happy for him. Okay, what's next? Big story. What's a big story out there? Probably nothing.

[Cary Grant]

Huh?

[Dana Carvey]

Click the button. Push the button and then the story. Okay, wait, don't click it yet. Let's see what it is. Can you read that, Dana?

[Cary Grant]

Over. Well, with that little triangle over the letter.

[Dana Carvey]

19 year olds. Oh, over.

[F]

Over 50 of Tommy John surgeries.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, over 50 of Tommy John's surgeries are on 15 and 19 year olds. Wow. That's the. For. For those at home. It usually happens to pitchers in baseball. They throw so hard, but they're teaching kids to throw so hard to get them in the college. It usually happened in the pros after a long time.

[Cary Grant]

It's really sad.

[Dana Carvey]

You rip out, you know, ligaments in your arm and you have to get this rough surgery. It takes about a year to heal, right?

[Cary Grant]

Well, yeah, it is. And it could be a career.

[Dana Carvey]

Is it always the same? Yeah, you don't know.

[Cary Grant]

They're taking ligaments and things and reconstructing it. You know, I. I see helicopter parents. I see parents living through their kids like some frustrated dad who never was a starting pitcher. You will throw hard when I tell you to throw hard. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

[Dana Carvey]

You're not going to get into college with.

[Cary Grant]

Or is it a coach or who 81. That should not be happening.

[Dana Carvey]

Right? But there is. Stakes are high now. You get that Nil money, you could just make a tidy living going to college now, you know, you get a couple million for four years of college.

[Cary Grant]

Like the gymnast, you lose money by, you know, nih. Do you own your image and likeness, David? Do you have an Nil, right?

[Dana Carvey]

No, I have a mirror.

[Cary Grant]

Do we own our image like this, Greg?

[Dana Carvey]

I don't think we do.

[Cary Grant]

Do we in the world? Could I monetize this?

[Dana Carvey]

Would you sell your image and likeness for $1,000?

[Cary Grant]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

AI.

[Cary Grant]

What would I net?

[Dana Carvey]

3,000 cash. Thousand in Trump bitcoins.

[Cary Grant]

Hey, man.

[Evan]

We'Re going to do a.

[Dana Carvey]

Lot of coins, okay?

[Evan]

Look, can you think?

[Dana Carvey]

I used to play baseball. So that's. That story really hit home with me. I used to be able to throw all the way from catcher to almost a second base.

[Cary Grant]

Track and track and field. 427 mile at age 17.

[Dana Carvey]

Why'd you say 427? Good job. Oh, yeah, sorry. People always say you're good.

[Cary Grant]

Excuse. No, that Wasn't that good there? There were kids breaking four minutes at, @ senior in high school.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, we'll read this one. Let's see. Multi million dollar life insurance policy, unpaid because covered backs experimental. Oh, this is interesting. Play this one.

[F]

There was an elderly wealth in France who.

[Dana Carvey]

Look at that.

[F]

Face insurance for millions of dollars. He got the COVID vaccine and he died. So the life insurance company is not paying out because they decided that the COVID vaccine is a medical experiment and death from a medical experiment is not a covered entity.

[Dana Carvey]

Furthermore, rip off.

[F]

Even the judge says that the side effects from the vaccine are well known. They've been made public. There's absolutely no way that this gentleman could not have known the side effects. He willingly chose to get the vaccine and he died as a result.

[Cary Grant]

Is she a puppet on his lap or something? It's an odd shot.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, did you hear that?

[Cary Grant]

Where you said all about the things.

[F]

And suicides along with death?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, they said it's a suicide because he knew the risks of taking a shot.

[Cary Grant]

Well, how many die straight up? I know there's side effects with people and heart stuff and all that, but how many people just die straight up taking the shot?

[Dana Carvey]

I, I don't. I've never had a scenario where someone had a life insurance policy and then they got the shot, then they died and they go, you knew what you're getting into, so it's. To call it suicide is a little nuts.

[Cary Grant]

I, I think what page of the contract was medical experiments are exempted from this policy.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, read the policy, you kind.

[Cary Grant]

Of go, medical experiments.

[Dana Carvey]

I know all insurance tries to wiggle out of pretty much everything, but that, that one sort of threw me off. And what it is, is this is a story, and then there's a woman doing it on her story and she just reacting to it. So that's why there's two people.

[Cary Grant]

I've had experiences with insurance companies, good and bad. I want to demonize the whole industry. No, but generally speaking, it's a nasty, necessary business that you have to pay these premiums for the what if, what if, what if?

[Dana Carvey]

Sure.

[Cary Grant]

And then it's a wrestling match to get, get paid. But I haven't, you know, I've had one bad experience with that. But. And it was about, you know, when I sued you.

[Dana Carvey]

Right.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Remember I stepped on your toe because you couldn't get on my driveway.

[Cary Grant]

Well, I'm, I'm indemnified. I mean, I have so much injury insurance for trying to make it down into this labyrinth cave and all. The stairs.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you think. Do you have insurance for when you pull muscles from carrying the show?

[Cary Grant]

Who says I carry the show?

[Dana Carvey]

I just did.

[Cary Grant]

Whoops.

[Dana Carvey]

No, you.

[Cary Grant]

We. Sometimes you're a little sleepy. You've been coming off the road, you know, your red eye. And you got low blood sugar and a bad back. And that's when I carry.

[Dana Carvey]

I go by this. If Dana's on fuego, let's sit back and watch, because it's great.

[Cary Grant]

What's fuego?

[Dana Carvey]

Fire.

[Cary Grant]

Hey. Man on fire.

[Dana Carvey]

He came in on.

[Cary Grant]

I was. I was sil. When I came here today.

[Dana Carvey]

What's that mean?

[Cary Grant]

Sorry I'm late.

[Dana Carvey]

I was really sil.

[Cary Grant]

I was sil. This will be launched, but by the end of this week, it'll be trending on Daily Mail. Oh, man. Sil.

[Dana Carvey]

Harvey announced he's sil.

[Cary Grant]

Well, I'm never.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I know what this is. Can we show this clip? Yeah, we can, right? See what happens.

[Cary Grant]

They'll let it show up.

[Dana Carvey]

Can I just set it up?

[Cary Grant]

Yeah. This is on snl. I forgot about this. Someone sent it to me. But Michael J. Fox is the host. Kevin Nealan is playing Doc. Doc. And then I did a kind of a too hyperactive Michael J. Fox. And I played him to him. So I think it's good to know what's going on. Michael, come here.

[Dana Carvey]

Tell him.

[Cary Grant]

Michael, we came to stop you, man. Who the hell are you? I'm you. I'm Michael J. Fox.

[Dana Carvey]

I just came from 90 minutes in the future.

[Cary Grant]

The show's a complete death.

[Dana Carvey]

It's funny. What do you mean?

[Cary Grant]

What do you mean?

[F]

What do you mean?

[Dana Carvey]

It's gonna be a great show.

[Cary Grant]

Michael, did you hear that last joke, man? It bombed. All right. Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

All right. But how about my next joke? He's pretty good. Is it?

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, he's good. Okay, here goes.

[F]

Okay.

[Cary Grant]

I'm also excited because tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, and maybe instead of saying.

[Dana Carvey]

Top of the morning to you, I could say something like top of the evening to you.

[Cary Grant]

That's the best joke you got?

[Dana Carvey]

It wasn't even a joke, Michael.

[Cary Grant]

There's no time to lose.

[Dana Carvey]

Wait, where are we going?

[Cary Grant]

We gotta go back. All right.

[F]

We gotta go back and stop you.

[Cary Grant]

Before you host the show. That's a good premise. Then we go back in time.

[Dana Carvey]

Where did you go after that?

[Cary Grant]

I think we went back in time. And he starts the monologue again that I had forgotten about, which is kind of eerie. I remember Michael J. Fox on the show, and I remember doing all these different things. I Forgot about this monologue.

[Dana Carvey]

He did a good one where they did the child stars robbing people back then.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I think Smigo wrote was funny. Who did you play in that? Do you remember? Were you David Cassidy or something?

[Cary Grant]

I think I was David Cassidy. Yeah. I was either David Cassidy.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, he was Danny Bonaduce.

[Cary Grant]

I think that's what we call now our new Blast from the past segment.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Cary Grant]

Where we show you things.

[Dana Carvey]

If we're allowed to show that, Saturday Night Live will like, sue us and block it from YouTube. Okay. What is this next one? This is. This is bad. I don't even know. It's a mixture of fun stories and heavy.

[Cary Grant]

This is bad. That's not a sure.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, should we even show this? Oh, you're always talking about bees. Oh, yeah.

[Cary Grant]

Oh, I liked your beekeeper. Bees are dropping straight all of the.

[F]

US as bees called the backbone of agriculture.

[Dana Carvey]

I call them that responsible for pollinating.

[Cary Grant]

In this more than a third of the nation's crops.

[Dana Carvey]

Cbs. These horny insects bees are croaking.

[Cary Grant]

They're pollinating more than a third of them.

[Dana Carvey]

They show be like a unfolding possess.

[Cary Grant]

Looks like in the US Beekeeping industry. Each of these hives can hold as many as 80,000 bees.

[Dana Carvey]

But for reasons no.1 pretty good holder.

[Cary Grant]

Bees in all these hives and tens of thousands more have turned up dead.

[Dana Carvey]

Have you ever seen it this bad?

[Cary Grant]

Never. Not even close. The dad is showing us that this is the worst be loss in recorded history.

[Dana Carvey]

A lot of be loss out there. We need bees, Dana.

[Cary Grant]

I know. Remember Jerry. Okay, you can stop bee story.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, it's funny because bees. It's not funny, but when I heard the noise of the machines, I thought it was bees inside there. And I was like, get out of there, dude. But yeah, they're the bees are the backbone or whatever they say. But I said I always say of our ecosystem. Right. They really are. So if I keep hearing this that bees are dropping like flies and. And we need them not just for honey, you would think that because you're not, like, thinking straight.

[Cary Grant]

I'm not thinking.

[Dana Carvey]

You're very surfacey.

[Cary Grant]

I'm just trying to think when I'll drop a trump next. In the podcast, how do you work.

[Dana Carvey]

Trump into the bees? I. I work the beekeeper.

[Cary Grant]

A lot of bees.

[Evan]

A lot of bees. You know, they make honeycomb. They love honeycomb. I love humming honeycomb. And they made a cereal. It's great. It's done by post. I think they made Honeycomb cereal very popular.

[Dana Carvey]

You know what the only thing better than bees. Honey is Trump's new honey. He makes honey now.

[Cary Grant]

Trump's new honey.

[Dana Carvey]

We make honey, we make bitcoins. We make it all. He's in every business now.

[Cary Grant]

I'll do Biden, too, if you want.

[Dana Carvey]

You gotta.

[Cary Grant]

Biden never should have said. He never should have denied. He just should have come out there and go, you should have said it. You know, year two, I'm out of my mind. I can't put two words together. I can still do the job. I got my son Hunter a job in Baruch. He doesn't know anything about it. That's what a dad does.

[Greg]

Come on.

[Cary Grant]

I'm clearly out of my mind. He would have got reelected just by not pushing back.

[Dana Carvey]

Right. Just. Just roll with it.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah. And the people up front should have said no. He is. He's impact and ice. We're giving him oxygen and a B12 shot before we stick him out here.

[Dana Carvey]

They said you didn't know who George Clooney was. He goes, well, come on. No one's seen him since er. And they go, why are they listening to George Clooney?

[Cary Grant]

He's on the ER show.

[Evan]

Come on.

[Cary Grant]

Before that, it was on Facts of Life. Everybody knows that. Come on, it's not rocket science. Facts Life.

[Dana Carvey]

Facts.

[Cary Grant]

Life is Orange county as the president as clear as bells. I'm out of my mind. I can't put two words. If he'd said that, he'd be president.

[Dana Carvey]

It would be funnier, definitely. Okay, so in summary, I'm the beekeeper. So do what you're. Oh, yeah, you said the beekeeper.

[Cary Grant]

Which.

[Evan]

Which.

[Cary Grant]

Which bit in your special and from your feedback, either online or with friends, was the one that landed. Was it the porn on airlines or BE always does.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, the beekeepers. Beekeeper. They're surprised. I did Jason Statham sounding like, oh, I'm the bay keeper, I keep the base, and if I stay, it's actually really not bad.

[Cary Grant]

You've got a good tone in there.

[Dana Carvey]

Because they don't see it coming. Because.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, yeah, I see. I like that because it's. It's just. Why does everything have to be exactly current? Everyone knows Jason Stratham. It's really about him as a movie.

[Dana Carvey]

It's about being on movies and what. Who he is and on an airplane, and you're trying to find a movie, and they're all lame. And then it says new arrivals, and I go, I don't think you can call Fern Gully a new arrival anymore, but thank you. And then I Say so I watch the beekeeper. Anyway, it's a long bit. It's well worth it. It's at 1410 in the special. But I, you know, time code.

[Cary Grant]

When you think about action stars and stuff, and you're just a pure action star like Jason Stratham is something just fun and funny.

[Dana Carvey]

It's funny how tough he is.

[Cary Grant]

Do you like to dance? Because I like to dance every.

[Dana Carvey]

At the first minute of any movie with him. I go, don't befriend him. Because he's. He's a beekeeper with the bees, living on a farm away from the FBI with a nice family. I'm like, well, they're getting gunned down soon. And lo and behold, yeah, they got shot.

[Cary Grant]

Okay, pop quiz for everyone in the room. Action movie, somewhat of an older guy, but not old. Old. Greatest speech in an action movie over the last 20 years from, from the kick ass guy.

[Dana Carvey]

Dirty Harry, maybe.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah. I have skills I've acquired to make me a nightmare for our person. I thought that speech, when that speech came out in that movie, taken. And then everybody tried to make action movies, but no one had a speech like that.

[Dana Carvey]

He's so good at it because they.

[Cary Grant]

Take his daughter and he's. I, this is the thing that I love a movie. He's not only not afraid, he just can't wait to clean. There's no sense that he's not. I have skills I've acquired that make me a nightmare. I will find you, I'll hunt you down and I'll kill you later. It's so matter of fact. Where were you? If someone kidnapped someone you love, what would you say on the phone?

[Dana Carvey]

Start crying?

[Cary Grant]

How would that sound?

[Dana Carvey]

No, I like when the guy goes, good luck. And then he keeps playing it.

[Cary Grant]

Good luck.

[Dana Carvey]

And then he goes, some guy goes, taxi. And he goes, that's the good luck voice. I go, that was a tough jump.

[Cary Grant]

Where? In no country for Old Men.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah.

[Cary Grant]

James, Bro. Josh Brolin is on the phone and he's being threatened by Javier Bardan. Yeah. And he goes, he says, you won't have to find me. I'm gonna make you my special project. And hung up the phone. It's. It's cathartic because they're so sure of themselves. He didn't make it in the movie. That's a whole nother story.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, Breaking Bad. When he tells the wife, she goes, aren't you worried about danger? And he goes, I am the danger. Remember that?

[Cary Grant]

Yes, that the line. I'm not going to worry about what they're going to do to me. They're going to worry about what I'm going to do to them. That's another one. That's.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, that's.

[Cary Grant]

You know, that's what I think about before I go out in front of an audience doing stand up. When you say, I don't worry about their response. I worry about what I'm going to do to them. That's my real.

[Dana Carvey]

Yesterday, Dana called me. He goes, I think I'm gonna walk over to Koi. I go, good luck. He goes, what does that mean? I go, good luck.

[Cary Grant]

Okay, I have an army of 200 people surrounding your house.

[Evan]

Good luck.

[Cary Grant]

You make daddy happy. Well, there's actually 3,000 with grenade launchers and act jets are on their way. Good luck. You made daddy even more happy. How do I make you unhappy?

[Dana Carvey]

And your waiter. There you go, I'd like the quinoa crab cakes and some sushi. And the waiter goes, good luck. And you go, good luck getting my order. Or. And everyone just says, good luck. Now.

[Cary Grant]

You triggered me. Now I was doing Scarface and Master of Disguise, and the guy's coming around with hors d' oeuvres. And he goes, crab. Crab cakes. I said, what's your attitude?

[Greg]

They should be called crabby cakes.

[Cary Grant]

It's such a bad joke that I love it.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I'll take it.

[Cary Grant]

I'm supposed to get mad. Hey, don't. Don't say that about my crab cake. They're not crabby cakes.

[Dana Carvey]

I'll be saying that next time I order crab cakes. If you want to give a gift that really matters, you try to go unique and you know this will last a lifetime. I know you give sort of like slinkies and stuff like that, but they're not going to last.

[Cary Grant]

Putty. Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

But you know, master class, that's the gift of learning. And you can learn from the best people to become your best. Right?

[Cary Grant]

Master class. David. It's the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow with over. Get this, 200 plus of the world's best master class people.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, these teachers are.

[Cary Grant]

Anything you want to learn is on this.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. If it's just $10 a month, billed annually, Membership with Masterclass gets you unlimited access to every single instructor. It's an amazing deal. I mean, Gordon Ramsey, the list, I can't even get to it.

[Cary Grant]

But Steve Martin, you know, Ron Howard, if you want to learn how to direct a scene, it's fantastic.

[Dana Carvey]

Amy Poehler does some improv stuff. She'll teach you about RuPaul, Mindy Kaling. I mean, we could go on forever. Classes make a difference. 88% of the members feel that Masterclass has made a positive impact on their lives. You know, and this stuff and it sticks with you. So you could really pick almost any field and that's the way to do it. And then you learn and you go, hey, I came out with something from someone really, really good at this.

[Cary Grant]

It's, it's literally anything you want to learn is on Masterclass at this point. You know, there's music musicians. Excuse me, there's musicians.

[Dana Carvey]

There's music musicians. Yeah.

[Cary Grant]

Learn how to compose music.

[Dana Carvey]

Plus, every new membership comes with a 30 day money back guarantee. I wouldn't wait another moment. You got to start your learning with Masterclass. Our listeners always get great discounts on Masterclass. They've been with us for a long time. They get at least 15% off any annual [e-mail] fly. See Masterclass latest deal at least 15% [e-mail] fly Every day is a chance to move forward. Whether you're navigating your commute, challenging personal best, or leading with purpose. You need apparel. This is true. That works as hard as you do. Yeah, you know, we've been with them.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, I know. Roan. We design clothing to match your ambition with, get this, technical fabrics. They breathe, stretch and adapt, and elevated styles keep you sharp. Our gear is built to support your pursuit of progress.

[Dana Carvey]

Pursuit collection is designed for the man who lives in motion. Whether you're chasing personal best, tackling intense training sessions, or just enjoying your well earned downtime, pursuit ensures you're ready for it all. It's built to move with you no matter where life takes you.

[Cary Grant]

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[Dana Carvey]

And you know about the pockets, Dana?

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, they. They keep essentials secure with two open hand pockets and a mesh zip pocket. That's actually a great idea. Additional drop in pockets in the fit liner provide room for your phone and more.

[Dana Carvey]

Listen, push forward with Pursuit. Designed by and for the ambitious, the Pursuit collection blends durability, flexibility, innovation to fuel your Progress nonstop. Get 20% off at rhone.com fly with code fly that's R H O-N-E.com fly with code fly at checkout.

[G]

You know how it goes. Getting super into something that can lead to watching it, listening to it, reading about it, maybe even picking up something to go with it. That's where prime comes in. Amazon prime isn't just fast free delivery, though to be honest, that's a lifesaver. It's also prime video, Amazon music, and so, so much more. Whatever the interest, it's on Prime. Lately there's been a dive into new recipes, catching up on lifestyle documentaries and building the perfect playlist to match. And prime has been part of it all. It's like a one stop shop for any passion, whether it's fashion, food, family, or discovering the next favorite show. So for anyone always exploring something new or rediscovering something meaningful, prime is right there. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Visit Amazon.comprime to get more out of whatever you're into. Amazon.comprime what is this?

[Cary Grant]

This is the book of David Spade's quips that we have here on the podcast.

[Dana Carvey]

Go ahead.

[Cary Grant]

If someone's threatening someone, the person who's very brave always says, Good luck. Page 382. David Spade. Yeah. On this date. Good luck. They already know it's live from New York, right? My joke was ruined. If we had a book of David Spade. Every bit you've ever done. That's a good. You know what we'll have AI gonna make that so we'll.

[Dana Carvey]

I can refer listen to my recorder. Rewinding. That's a good one. I am the listen. Ready? Good luck. Good luck.

[Cary Grant]

Because it's on a tape.

[Dana Carvey]

He keeps playing it.

[Cary Grant]

Remember I didn't see the beat.

[Dana Carvey]

He rewinds it. No, that's the Lee I'm doing. Liam.

[Cary Grant]

Good luck.

[Dana Carvey]

My impressions are so bad, you don't even know what movie we need.

[Cary Grant]

A little bit of an Irish too. I have skills.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, no, that's the.

[Cary Grant]

That's making a nightmare.

[Dana Carvey]

And all the bad guys in movies because everyone's scared of being racist is. That's why superhero movies, the bad guys are made up. Monsters in space movies, they're aliens. So that's the safest way to go, right? If you say any country, any ethnicity, then everyone goes. But taken they were. Where were they from?

[Cary Grant]

Like Kazakhstan, you know, it's an indescript middle. You can do Russian, this and that. This is. I'll just make an observation if I can. As a kid, I realized at one point that the bad guys were always incredibly happy and the good guys were tortured. Oh, Mr. Bond, when this bomb explodes, you explode. Be a bad guy. That's the. That's the happy guy.

[Dana Carvey]

That is. Remember when Goldfinger goes, there's sharks down there and he's about to drop Bond. And he goes, don't worry, Mr. Bond, they only eat secret agents. And he laughs.

[Cary Grant]

Oh, yeah. And the other one, he goes, the laser is going to come up to his balls.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, it's ball sack.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah, Goldfinger. What do you want me to do? What? What do I do? What do you want me to do? And he goes, I want you to die, Mr. Boss.

[Dana Carvey]

Sounds like love it.

[Cary Grant]

Sounds like love it. I want you to die. But anyway, there is something about people, narcissists, sort of proactive narcissists that are just sort of happy. They just insult people and they're rude and aggressive. And then the people pleaser in the empaths are like, I'm sorry, I heard your feelings.

[Dana Carvey]

That's us. Gross.

[Cary Grant]

That was like a little sketch I did.

[Dana Carvey]

Now there's a skim store near me now, and I can't stand it, but Kim Kardashian wrapped her Lamborghini and skims underpants. Why is this a story?

[Cary Grant]

What? When? Kim.

[Dana Carvey]

Here's the back. That would be like the back of the underpants. Here's my underpants.

[Cary Grant]

I was posing like that this morning. Does that hurt your back?

[Dana Carvey]

Why is that? Oh, she looks cute. I mean, it is a Lamborghini and it is her. She's cute. Is that how you drive with your feet up? Okay, well, skims. I don't know what it is. Underpants.

[Cary Grant]

Skims is basically. It was called Spanx. So they took. They stole the idea of Spanx, which is just kind of a lightweight unitar that will bring your tummy. And I have men's Spanx.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm wearing a Spanx bodysuit right now.

[Cary Grant]

And then they cleverly renamed it and kind of took that product and made it their own. And now they're billionaires.

[Dana Carvey]

Yep, she's doing just fine. Okay, we'll do another one. Oh, we can wrap it up soon, by the way.

[Cary Grant]

How long have we gone?

[Dana Carvey]

We've done almost an hour.

[Cary Grant]

Fuck.

[Dana Carvey]

Why is that good or bad? Well, this guy's talented. Let's get this guy an agt.

[Cary Grant]

Let's make this a two parter.

[Dana Carvey]

This is when you go, oh, we could do that.

[Cary Grant]

That's what we do.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that's a great idea. Just keep going and just, just get.

[Cary Grant]

Five of them and then have magic edit man make episodes out of them. Greg will call us up. Hey, I just need you guys to do some intros. It wasn't you. Sorry, I don't. I don't have a green.

[Dana Carvey]

When is the last time you dressed.

[Cary Grant]

Like Garth last night.

[Dana Carvey]

Last night for the wife.

[Cary Grant]

No, I'm doing a. I'm doing a private event on the weekend and they asked me if I will dress up as Garth and come out to Bohemian Rhapsody. So it's for a good cause.

[Dana Carvey]

I love it.

[Cary Grant]

So I said, I'll do it, but I want to be able. One, don't make the guard close too tight because all his stuff is always very loose.

[Dana Carvey]

Rip it off.

[Cary Grant]

Two is, and I don't know if they understand this. I, I want a wig where it just come fits on and the bangs cover it. Otherwise you have to do lace and gluing and pinning. So I said, as long as I can become Garth in two minutes, go out and go like this. And then they have a attraction guy and sort of a ice bath after that. And then I do stand up later.

[Dana Carvey]

So you flip your head around.

[Cary Grant]

Well, I'm going to be very careful, David. At this point in my existence, it hurt me then I would. When I did Garth in the car, maybe if I made it to the 50th. They wanted us to do Garth.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah. You didn't do that Shaw, huh?

[Cary Grant]

If. Well, Garth is my age. Everyone relax.

[Dana Carvey]

Any corporate gigs? I. It's funny. They go, you're going to bring you over here, you're going to host the auction. You're going to try to raise some money for this charity. I'm like, check, come over here, do your act. Come over here. We got some bumper cars and we throw pies at you. And then this, My niece is going to shove an ice cream cone in your face. I'm like, okay, sounds good.

[Cary Grant]

I have all.

[Dana Carvey]

You have my Slim Jims and Triscuits backstage. Like, yep, all good.

[Cary Grant]

I get into the area where I'm going to work at 4, and I get out of that area at 10:30.

[Dana Carvey]

And you'll be here for.

[Cary Grant]

I'm doing tech checks. This. I'm off. Oh, yeah, no, yeah, no. And then at the end of the night, seven hours after they have 4,000 drinks, is now. And now the comedy stylings. Can you do 45 now? It's a six hour show.

[Dana Carvey]

The best is if you surprise. You know, you've been to these corporate gigs. It's like an eight hour. You know, they're showing graphs and charts. And then they go, all right, guys, go, have fun. They go, we have a special guest, everyone, Are we out of here yet? And they go, David Spade, you know him from Empress, New Groove and Benchwarmers. And they go, wait, how long is this guy Going. And I'm like this. And everyone goes, what's happening? And the CEO is like, laugh, don't be rude. But they tack you on at the end sometimes.

[Cary Grant]

Well, they want. They don't want any political humor. But my stuff's not really. So that wipes out a lot of my impressions. No, no impressions. Nothing political.

[Dana Carvey]

But you're not taking a.

[Cary Grant]

Through my suitcase. The best thing you can hear. I'll just give you inside baseball for a big ballroom. A corporate date where they're drunk and tired when they kind of. You're. You're contracted to do a certain amount of time. And they go, you. You could just do 25.

[Dana Carvey]

That's great. That's all you say.

[Cary Grant]

If the audience is dead at that point and they're thinking about getting to their car or using the bathroom, they don't.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, they like to see someone from TV in there in their room. They're like, this is fun. You came all the way here.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And then you do your stuff, and then after a while they go, I got a feel for it. And they got it. Let's take off.

[Cary Grant]

Where does that come from? I got a feel for it.

[Dana Carvey]

I got a feel for. Oh, I got a feel for you.

[Cary Grant]

That's the name of your tour?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Cary Grant]

You announce some dates coming up.

[Dana Carvey]

Omaha, three cities in Ohio. Did you know there's three cities in cities in Ohio?

[Cary Grant]

Dayton, Chicago and Poughkeepsie.

[Dana Carvey]

What a fucking idiot. There's one called Newark, Ohio.

[Cary Grant]

There's not a date in Ohio.

[Dana Carvey]

There is. That's not where I'm going. I'm going Cleveland, Cincy, where my mom is from.

[Cary Grant]

Chicago, Illinois. Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Cincinnati. And. And Newark, where they're working on building an airport that doesn't work there. So they can be like the other Newark.

[Cary Grant]

Are you. Oh, I know. Who's gonna go into that. I don't like to fly anyway. So why go in? It's a little. If he. But it's open, you know, the radar goes down once in a while. The Runway. Look, if we had, our druthers would be twice as long, but would I use it personally? Your flight in and out of Newark?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I mean, it works a lot of the time, so you should go.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah. I mean, is it scary? Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

Is it unsafe? Yes.

[Cary Grant]

Do you usually make it? Yes. Sometimes not. Yes. Is the Runway really too short for the aircraft? Yes. Can they apply brakes? Yes. Are the landings especially hard because of the short runways? Yes. So anyway, there's a non stop.

[Dana Carvey]

Terrified to come. Yes. What are pilots terrified to land there?

[Cary Grant]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

Does anyone that knows anything about aviation, are they scared? Yes.

[Cary Grant]

Do the pilots wear adult diapers while they're coming into Newark? Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

Will we lie consistently to make sure you still go there? Yes.

[Cary Grant]

Will the flight attendants pretend to be smiling while they're terrified on the climb in and climb out? Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

If you're 10 hours late, will you get a free drink? No.

[Cary Grant]

And when we hit turbulence, we will especially tell the flight attendants to serve lunch and bring the drinks out.

[Dana Carvey]

When we say we appreciate your patience, do we appreciate it? No.

[Cary Grant]

Don't you love it when it gets really turbulent and they're still just boring? I go get. Sit down. This is nerve wracking.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. They're like this. Everything's. I do this all the time.

[Cary Grant]

Yeah. Oh, this is all like, chop, you'll be fine. You're on water, right?

[Dana Carvey]

I hate the view. They go, I like it. It's like a roller coaster. I go, shut the up. You don't like it? No one likes it.

[Cary Grant]

Well, what I've done lately is I have a book, and it's a World War II book. And it's about people flying into Germany on B17s taking flack. And I just think, I'm not. I'm not. Everyone in that B17 would love to be in this modern jet.

[Dana Carvey]

I have a pee pad like a dog and I put under my seat.

[Cary Grant]

And I go, you actually have no fear of flying?

[Dana Carvey]

I do. I'm scared.

[Cary Grant]

You don't. You just don't. You're good. You know me, I'm. I'm studying the engine, the size of the engine, the metrics. I'm studying the weather. I mean, I'm just. I'm kind of nutty.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm out there helping them start the prop. All right, I think. I think you should end on that.

[Cary Grant]

Well, that you have a lot of sound effects. I've not heard the prop plane.

[Dana Carvey]

You know what?

[Cary Grant]

I do it again.

[Dana Carvey]

It's in the jet ski family. Here's a jet ski. It's water in the car.

[Cary Grant]

I'm gonna do sound effecty in my act. But for today, it would be like this.

[Dana Carvey]

We appreciate you joining us for an extended version of Superfly. We're gonna charge.

[Cary Grant]

We're supposed to. Our mothership company wanted us to do 30. Well, we messed up once again.

[Dana Carvey]

It'll always be at least 30. But we always go long as we goof.

[Cary Grant]

Because we love you. We love the crowd for listening or watching.

[Dana Carvey]

We love the comments, even the mean ones. Actually, I don't like them. But I'm not afraid to block someone though. No, actually I get a little charge, man.

[Cary Grant]

The mean comments tell you I'll do it. As Owen Wilson hey man, the mean comments tell you more about the people that writing them than actually anything to do with you.

[Dana Carvey]

Look at Greg's eyes are darting like they don't know who makes the comments, do they?

[Cary Grant]

Greg is trying to catch a flight to a basketball camp.

[Dana Carvey]

We can wrap it up. Thanks for watching and listening and we'll see you next week.

[Cary Grant]

We'd like to thank Heather, Evan and Greg for being our audience.

[Dana Carvey]

You can cut that out.

[Cary Grant]

I'm trying to throw them a bone.

[Dana Carvey]

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.