SUPERFLY #71 - Womp Womp Womp

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Episode Summary: SUPERFLY #71 - Womp Womp Womp
Release Date: June 6, 2025

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Introduction

In SUPERFLY #71 - Womp Womp Womp, hosts David Spade and Dana Carvey delve into a blend of personal anecdotes, humorous insights, and topical discussions, all infused with their signature comedic flair. This episode offers listeners a behind-the-scenes look at their lives, interactions within the entertainment industry, and playful banter on contemporary issues.

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Travel Tales and Accommodation Woes

The episode kicks off with David sharing his frustrations with hotel stays while on the road, humorously lamenting, “Sometimes I get stuck with a hotel I don't love. I should have tried to do an Airbnb on this one, you know?” ([00:45]). Dana reciprocates with her own travel misadventures in small towns, emphasizing the perks of using Airbnb over traditional hotels to avoid disappointing stays.

Notable Quote:

• David Spade ([00:45]): “Sometimes I was like, I should have tried to do an Airbnb on this one, you know?”

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Navigating Aging and Birthdays

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around aging and the complexities of celebrating birthdays. Dana reflects on her recent birthday, pondering its significance beyond just another day, stating, “The birthday. The pressure was building over the weekend. The official birthday was Sunday” ([07:15]). David contrasts this with his own experiences, highlighting how perceptions of age have shifted over the decades.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey ([07:15]): “I realized the birthday. The pressure was building over the weekend.”
• David Spade ([10:18]): “When I grew up, 60 was basically 110. So now 60, 70, 80. I guess this is normal.”

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Reflections on Show Business and SNL Legacy

The duo reminisces about their time on Saturday Night Live (SNL), touching upon memorable moments and the show's enduring legacy. Dana jokes about her character line, “Don’t be alarmed. Oh, that's a glp. What are you in a diet drug?” ([02:05]), highlighting the playful nature of their sketches.

They also discuss the recent SNL 50th Anniversary, with Dana expressing regret over missing parts of it: “No, I was hanging out with Bo Derek and John Corbett,” ([05:10]). David shares an amusing encounter with former cast members, showcasing the camaraderie that still exists within the SNL family.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey ([02:05]): “Oh, that's a glp. What are you in a diet drug?”
• Dana Carvey ([05:10]): “Don’t badmouth in town.”

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Artificial Intelligence and Modern Technology

A spirited discussion ensues about the emergence and implications of Artificial Intelligence (AI). Both hosts express a mix of fascination and apprehension regarding AI’s advancements. David humorously imagines AI taking over with scenarios like, “It's turning into a giant 3-ton metal robot marching around,” ([38:32]). Dana adds to the conversation by highlighting how AI interactions can sometimes be comically unresponsive: “Sorry, not feeling okay. I'll turn myself off, but first I'll turn myself on” ([37:15]).

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade ([38:32]): “Look, when they’re actionable, that’s what’s scary right now.”
• Dana Carvey ([37:15]): “I’ll turn myself off, but first I’ll turn myself on.”

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Dealing with Scams and Online Fraud

The hosts address the growing concern of online scams, sharing personal experiences and offering humorous takes on the seriousness of the issue. Dana shares a relatable moment: “I saw this story. It’s not AI, it’s...” ([57:21]), underscoring the confusion and frustration that often accompany fraudulent schemes.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey ([57:21]): “It’s so funny how all this stuff works out, right?”
• David Spade ([58:31]): “When people ask me for money, I forget it. But anyway, it sounds rude.”

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Entertainment and Pop Culture Commentary

A lively segment features David and Dana discussing the latest in entertainment and sports. They delve into the WNBA, highlighting player rivalries and the impact of star athletes like Caitlin Clark. David draws parallels to legendary sports figures: “They left him alone because he's making us all millionaires” ([49:00]), emphasizing Caitlin's influence on the league's popularity.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey ([50:28]): “It’s fun to watch and it’s equal.”
• David Spade ([49:14]): “Caitlin Clark should have a female Dennis Rodman.”

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Humorous Anecdotes and Personal Stories

Throughout the episode, Dana and David share a series of humorous personal stories, ranging from awkward family interactions to childhood memories. David recounts his strained relationship with his father: “He’d say, stay out,” referencing one-bedroom living arrangements ([28:40]). Dana adds her own family dynamics with a blend of humor and nostalgia, reminiscing about misunderstood household instructions: “He said, use your penis” ([54:35]).

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade ([28:40]): “He said if there’s a tie on the bedroom door, stay out.”
• Dana Carvey ([54:35]): “He said, use your penis. You.”

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Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, David and Dana discuss upcoming projects and potential guests. They express excitement about integrating social media into their comedic endeavors, with Dana contemplating starting her own TikTok presence: “I’ll start posting and stuff” ([59:06]). The hosts also reflect on the fun they had during the episode, emphasizing the camaraderie that fuels their unique chemistry.

Notable Quotes:

• Dana Carvey ([59:06]): “I’ll start posting and stuff. I don’t know, it feels.”
• David Spade ([60:37]): “I'm going to the store. After that, I'm going to Cincinnati.”

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Conclusion

SUPERFLY #71 - Womp Womp Womp offers a blend of heartfelt reflections, sharp humor, and candid discussions between Dana Carvey and David Spade. Their ability to weave together personal stories with broader societal topics creates an engaging and entertaining listening experience, showcasing why they remain beloved figures in the comedy world.

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Notable Segments with Timestamps:

• Travel and Accommodation Woes: [00:45] - [01:41]
• Aging and Birthdays: [07:15] - [10:18]
• Show Business and SNL Memories: [02:05] - [06:22]
• Artificial Intelligence Discussion: [37:15] - [38:49]
• Scams and Online Fraud: [57:21] - [58:44]
• WNBA and Pop Culture: [49:00] - [51:13]
• Personal Stories and Anecdotes: [28:40] - [54:59]
• Entertainment and Future Plans: [59:06] - [60:59]

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This episode encapsulates the essence of SUPERFLY—blending humor with genuine conversations, making it a must-listen for fans seeking both laughs and relatable stories from two of comedy's finest.

Transcript

[David Spade]

Buying a home is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. And in California, it can feel even bigger. From figuring out what you can afford to navigating offers, escrow inspections and closings, it's a lot to take on alone. That's where a Realtor comes in. A Realtor is more than a real estate agent. They're a guide, a strategist, and your go to expert for every step of the home buying process.

[Dana Carvey]

They handle the complexities, the paperwork and the stress so you don't have to. No guesswork, no going in alone. Just clarity, confidence, and someone in your corner from start to finish. When the stakes are high, having a trusted professional makes all the difference. Don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your next chapter. Find your realtor@champions of home.com.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Dana, I travel all over and sometimes, you know, you're on the road. Sometimes I get stuck with a hotel I don't love. And what happens is you think, you see a few pictures, we look online, then you get there. And sometimes I was like, I should have tried to do an Airbnb on this one, you know?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I was on a road trip to Montana and we stopped in Winnemucca, Nevada. And Winnemucca, there's a toddling town, let's just say that wasn't maybe the best choices in Winnemucca. So an Airbnb would have been a much better choice. But I still had a good time in Winnemucca. Don't want to badmouth in town.

[David Spade]

You know, people can also take their houses and make them Airbnbs. That's the other flip side of that. You know, you go stay at nice ones, but if you have a place, it could be big or small, you know, you never know. So.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And while you're away, your home could be an Airbnb.

[David Spade]

Yeah, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host my shirt's radically cool, but I don't want to over talk about.

[Dana Carvey]

But no one knows what it says.

[David Spade]

It's an old beat up shirt I've had for about 30 years.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, I'm coming in for the look. Don't be alarmed.

[David Spade]

Gp.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, that's a glp. What are you in a diet drug?

[David Spade]

Gp I don't know what it is.

[Dana Carvey]

For real General practitioner.

[David Spade]

I don't know if it's that.

[Dana Carvey]

If you add the end of everything and I know it might offend people. It's funny. No, what do you want for. For lunch? A hamburger?

[David Spade]

I think maybe I'm too far over this way. This is all new, guys. Heather, will you tilt that camera a little bit this way? Because I'm seeing far over here.

[Dana Carvey]

Why do you have a.

[David Spade]

There you go.

[Dana Carvey]

One of my fun of my Sammy Khan here. Supposed to go out Jerry Lewis cutting off the people.

[David Spade]

Guess what this comment I heard on the stupid goodness freaking YouTube was. Oh, can you talk about how you dye your hair every day? Don't color it. It's embarrassing. I'm like, color it. You think I colored this ugly ass color? Get lost, dude. I'll knock you out.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Spade]

How about that?

[Dana Carvey]

No one needs to know anything about how this happens. That's all I say.

[David Spade]

Look at this, Dana. This is an MTV Movie Award.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. Okay, so we're getting a little biographical here. Okay. MTV Award. You have one we now know. And that silver thing is for us. That was like.

[David Spade]

Yeah. YouTube, when you get a certain amount of.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Subscribers.

[Dana Carvey]

10 million. They sent us that.

[David Spade]

We might not see it again because it looks like it's a little glary, but it's something to see.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, no, it's fine.

[David Spade]

We're trying.

[Dana Carvey]

Breaks things up. Everything else is brown and dull. And then you've got this shiny silver thing. So glare. Yeah.

[David Spade]

This is a John Lennon book. Is that what it is? Can't read it.

[Dana Carvey]

John Lennon.

[David Spade]

What does it say? The lives of John. Yeah, John Lennon. That's the one where the book cover has the glasses. The glasses of John Lennon that I bought the. I used to have back there.

[Dana Carvey]

Started a club in the 70s called what's It Got to Do with John Lennon? I sang a song about what's It Got to Do with John Lennon? So I think I know a little bit about John Lennon.

[David Spade]

Yeah, you got it.

[Dana Carvey]

I got.

[David Spade]

Oh, everyone knows you love the Beatles. Okay. So this one's I got a feel for when I played St. Louis. It's called the Factory. It's a great club.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, go ahead.

[David Spade]

They give me a present if you sell out. And they gave me. This is a journal book. On the front it says fly on the wall.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, wait a minute. Now I'm telling you this. This freaking catchphrase you pulled out of your ass on the 50th is now it's officially traveling. It's officially a thing. It has to be your next book. It has to be after Dandelion. This has to be because this thing sums up your comedy.

[David Spade]

It really did.

[Dana Carvey]

So perfectly that. Yeah, no wonder it was the most popular phrase from the 50th. And I had the flu, but I was hanging out with. But I was hanging out with Bo Derek and John Corbett, so.

[David Spade]

Oh, by the way, that could have been your flu game. You should have done it like Jordan.

[Dana Carvey]

What do you mean?

[David Spade]

I mean, had his flu game. Yeah, he was gars with the flu and.

[Dana Carvey]

Hey, Wayne, I think I'm going to hurl. That's not in the script, Garth. No, literally, I'm going to hurl.

[David Spade]

Heather, where did you put these three little pieces of paper? Right here that were folded over, that had a W on them for Wednesday. Are they over there? All right, that was set up. Now look what I got you, Dana, for your. Well, whatever it is.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm not a presence guy. Oh, says Spade.

[David Spade]

No, this is a presence guy. Ready? Here's you when I go, Dana, I got you a present, but it's only this. It's a trombone. Debbie Downer.

[Dana Carvey]

I know, it's fantastic. Is it actually a Debbie Downer trombone from the snl?

[David Spade]

It's a trombone I got off Instagram for you because you sometimes go.

[Dana Carvey]

Or. That's from f. Yeah, that's it. That's from that troop 1970.

[David Spade]

I played this. Did you notice during Brian Cranston Today, which is a fly on the wall that's going to air in a couple weeks, you said you auditioned for, like, Cary Grant or Paul Newman or someone. Then they said you were bad and you left.

[Dana Carvey]

And I went, oh, that was there. Was that on? You played it? I didn't hear you.

[David Spade]

And Bryan Cranston didn't even say, we didn't get it.

[Dana Carvey]

Because the woman. I go, oh, that was rough. And she goes, yeah, it was kind of rough. I ruined. I ruined SpaceX.

[David Spade]

It wasn't SpaceX.

[Dana Carvey]

Pull the name out. But that was pretty good for the.

[David Spade]

Do you think she. She goes by Sissy Space X now? Yes, I would.

[Dana Carvey]

I go by Dana car keys.

[David Spade]

Since you got your present, you can talk about what you do.

[Dana Carvey]

I had a birthday. There we go. And I learned a lot about birthdays, and I thought a lot, because you don't. You kind of just go birthday. You know, you see things, but you don't really mute. You know, you don't think about them. But for me, I'm like, okay, what's a birthday? And I realized the birthday. The pressure was building over the weekend. The official birthday was Sunday.

[David Spade]

I was unaware of it, but just so the crowd is.

[Dana Carvey]

But I don't keep score. Who texted me?

[David Spade]

So rude. I didn't text you, but I honestly swear I didn't know. But I should know. But I did not.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it doesn't matter because guess what? I just extended it because. Oh, I had a birthday weekend and then I just extended it to a birthday weekend, early week. So you wish me. You're right on time, man.

[David Spade]

I told you Kristen Wiig should do a movie called Birthday week because it's all these women that just milk out their birthday.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, birthday.

[David Spade]

Isn't that a great birthday week? Birthday month.

[Dana Carvey]

Birthday month. I know. Birthday month.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah, they just keep partying going. Everyone keeps celebrating me. God damn.

[Dana Carvey]

Why when someone's naked, did they say they're, they're, they're, they're in their birthday suit. Like when you're baby, you don't have clothes. But babies sometimes born with clothes. I'll do a Theo von.

[David Spade]

Oh, really?

[Dana Carvey]

Sometimes babies gonna come out in a jumper.

[David Spade]

I came out in overalls because my doctor was an ocelot with two ribs.

[Dana Carvey]

You got them down. Did you do a movie with them? Anyway, I don't know.

[David Spade]

No one, no one can remember.

[Dana Carvey]

I thought about birthdays and I, I realized that the Native Americans and the westerns I would watch as a kid, usually a white guy would play Native American, you know, I wasn't really sure, but they, they would never say what they were like. Jimmy Stewart, be the cowboy. Well, how, how old are you, Chief? The chief. I see many winter. Well, what, what's that supposed to mean? Many winters. How, how, how many winters? Many winters. How many summers have you seen? I see many summers. Well, you're driving me.

[David Spade]

Put a number on it.

[Dana Carvey]

You're driving me out of my mind. What are you, 50? Are you 80?

[David Spade]

What the.

[Dana Carvey]

Because Indian.

[David Spade]

I remember eight springs. Does that help? You're like, okay, now, now, what else?

[Dana Carvey]

I had many baked potatoes.

[David Spade]

What? That's what you try to get away with. You go, how many bites of cake do you have?

[Dana Carvey]

You go, oh, many, many, many bites. But it's a good way to just encapsulate everything, you know?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

How was your, how was your sex life? I come many times.

[David Spade]

I don't work blue poontang. You are disgusting.

[Dana Carvey]

I know, I. Sorry about that. But anyway, my birthday, I figured I'm in the Kevin Costner, Billy Bob Thornton, Brian Cranston. We're all in the same general area. So I got, I got good company. I got more.

[David Spade]

When I grew up, 60 was basically 110. If you, if you knew someone 60, it was like, what? So now 60, 70, 80. I went to a party and there was people. 60, 70, 80. And I was like, I guess this is normal. Everyone's like, hey, man, what's going on? No one was like, hello, with the, you know, big horn. So everyone's, like, normal now? Yeah. You know when in the 1800s, you lived, like, 26. And then, well, even.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, there was no medicine. So, like in 1820, the doctor in the village had one move. He's got a fever. Doctor. What, do we take blood out of him? Bleed him. Bleed?

[David Spade]

Yeah. Like the butcher. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

That's all I had was bloodletting. Was that a sketch on the snl?

[David Spade]

I remember the butcher. Steve Martin used to go, give me two pints. Yeah. And look at someone. Broken leg, three pints.

[Dana Carvey]

They go, sure. You want us to take blood out of him? He's got a fever. I'm a doctor, damn it. And I'm the smartest guy in this village. So.

[David Spade]

Yeah. And then everyone got smarter. And so now everyone lives longer and they've discovered penicillin and upper and lower bleph.

[Dana Carvey]

We had Clark gable, Spencer Tracy, FDR, Ernest Hemingway. Around 5860. You're ready to go because you just ate saturated fat beef. You smoked. Chain smoked. And you were mostly in the bag with alcohol all day long. So now I. Oh, no. I gotta get me one of them.

[David Spade]

It's yours. It's funny.

[Dana Carvey]

No, it's not.

[David Spade]

You.

[Dana Carvey]

You have to have it. But that. We. We. How do we get by without that all this time?

[David Spade]

I know. Dude, I have stuff on my phone that I used to do. Heather, I. I won't do this to Dana. I'll just do it because it's funny. I gotta find it, though.

[Dana Carvey]

You do? Many times.

[David Spade]

Oh, where it is? Let's just say this one. It's so funny because you could go. Anyways. She was cute. I walked in the room. Did you hear that one out there?

[Dana Carvey]

No. No.

[David Spade]

I walked in the room. I'm not saying she was cute, but we were having sex. I could tell. In the other room, I heard.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, these are funny because the setup by the comedian is kind of casual. And then it's the electronic voice that lays the punchline down. So it's funny no matter what.

[David Spade]

Yeah. These are great. Listen, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

[Dana Carvey]

The doctor told me it's time for your prostate exam sound.

[David Spade]

I burned you. I didn't eat crickets.

[Dana Carvey]

Make sense? No.

[David Spade]

Okay, hang on. All right, here's you when you tell a bad joke. Ready? You're Waiting for the audience to laugh. You hear? Okay. They're not all gems. We'll put.

[Dana Carvey]

We'll take that by that one. That. That's kind of emotional because it's like a submarine in distress, you know, that's.

[David Spade]

Just a sonar because the crowd's not laughing, and we're just going, boop.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. Is that. That the cold sweat here?

[David Spade]

I've got props for you, Dana. Ready? Okay, so Heather doesn't know this story. So we're in the airport in maybe Des Moines. I don't know where we were. Yeah, we had to take an early flight to St. Louis. Do. To do with a show. Shows are super fun, by the way. Thank you, everyone that came. I'm off.

[Dana Carvey]

I heard good.

[David Spade]

Three Ohio's. Oh, you did Good, good. You know who came in St. Louis? Joe Buck. Our friend Joe Buck.

[Dana Carvey]

The Joe Buck.

[David Spade]

The Incredible Announcer and the Incredible Announcers. Does Monday Night Football everything and a lot of fun.

[Dana Carvey]

Is that his real name? Because that's, like, too cool a name.

[David Spade]

I think it is, because I think his dad is in the business also. And he was like, yeah, Jack Buck.

[Dana Carvey]

Because that's just very good. I'm Joe.

[David Spade]

I only know him, but he was coming, and he just said, hey, can I come back? And I was like, oh, yeah. I would have given you tickets for. Okay, so here's what happened. Walking in the airport, just walking. There's Catherine and Bobby walking in front of me. I'm dragging. We ate. We had an early flight. And you have. Just so you know, at home, because I'm so effing professional, when you get flights, you try to get one early because you have to have a backup in case anything goes wrong. You want to still be able to get to that city, and you don't want to cancel the show for any reason. Worst case, in those, you could drive five hours. You could drive. I'd rather fly if it's five. So I go. And this woman, I'm walking, and she comes up to me. She works for the airline. She flips Iwi right next to me and quietly just walks with me. And then she hands me this, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

So I open it. Okay. Right. Can you read that?

[Dana Carvey]

We know who you are. Heart.

[David Spade]

Okay. And then I say. I look at. And I go, okay. I don't even look at her. And then she goes.

[Dana Carvey]

Please let us take a picture with you. A quick picture with you.

[David Spade]

All right. They're all folded, too. And so I just said, okay as I kept walking. And then I got the other one.

[Dana Carvey]

On the jet bridge.

[David Spade]

Yeah, what's up? So I guess I said, oh, she must be on my flight. So I went up there. It was Southwest, where, you know, it's like, number one through 600, you're up. So it's just like, you know, it's hard. So it's just a cattle call. So we got up there, and they just took us right in in front of everyone. So real. I'm like, excuse me, wheelchair. Excuse me, veteran. And so I go in, and then we get in the jet bridge. I guess that's what it's called. And then about six came in there, and we took a big. I wish I had it. It was fun. So they should never get in trouble for that, because I don't mind that at all. It was super fun. And then I got on and they give you extra peanuts or whatever they have.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I. Yeah, it's. There's no easy way to do it, but, yeah, I had five, ten, and so my dad really loves you, you know, My grandpa is a huge fan, you know, so.

[David Spade]

Oh, I lost picture.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you lose. I see you. You don't see you.

[David Spade]

It's all right. It's easy to do. I don't know what happened. Oh, I got a phone call. Freaking Gervitz. Hey, I wait till you're on the podcast. I go, don't call me back. I'm starting the podcast. All right, that's exactly when I'll call you, because I don't really want to talk.

[Dana Carvey]

No one knows when we're working. What are you doing? Sitting by a pool, laying around, counting money.

[David Spade]

Must be rough.

[Dana Carvey]

I guess you just don't like money.

[David Spade]

Hey, handsome. Who's funny? How's road gig? Oh, how sad. Poor me. I make money. There's no sympathy.

[Dana Carvey]

Selling like the Native American from the first sketch.

[David Spade]

He's like. He's like a mean. Oh, our first sketch, we did we.

[Dana Carvey]

Make money many times.

[David Spade]

Get your wampum.

[Dana Carvey]

That is money, right? Or it's like a cracker or something. I don't know.

[David Spade]

So you were saying when you're on planes, they say, oh, my.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, and what I'll do, because I'm. I'm a captive audience. I'm sitting there. I'm nursing up, you know, an adult beverage, probably a light beer.

[David Spade]

Wasted.

[Dana Carvey]

Wasted. Completely out of control. So I said, oh, give me some, you know? So I draw. I draw pictures and arrows and special. Because why not? Makes people happy, you know?

[David Spade]

They're like, thanks. They thought you were Picasso.

[Dana Carvey]

The people who are professionals and have the bobbleheads and they, they come out of. They're like zombies. I mean they're coming out of alcoves and rushing at you. They're. They are a bit scary. Hey, you know, so I don't know.

[David Spade]

If you know who Livy Dunn is. Who's a. Yeah, the gymnast.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Olympics. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Not Olympic.

[David Spade]

LSU gymnast star dates Paul the skiing or something. Pitcher. Yeah. Anyway, she was on this weekend on Instagram or something saying she's had it with these guys at the airports and it was the same problem. It's the. It's the best kept secret where you can't, you know, you can't really complain it. Because everyone says you're an ingrate. But she's a girl, so it's worse. She's a young girl. These guys, middle aged dudes are all upper ass like waiting at the gate. Wait, we've talked about this for follow you all the way to luggage sign. This sign is what are you waiting for? Why are you being like this? Don't be a. Just really laying her into her. And she's like, these are flights no one knows I have. I don't have a meet stopping through Omaha for a half hour layover. They're right there. It's like. And she really can't escape them. Like where do you go?

[Dana Carvey]

What's your theory of how they get tipped off? How do they know?

[David Spade]

I talked to a guy that used to work for tabloids. He said if you're in New York, doorman are a lot of people that tell you what hotel they text the guy we just checked in, this guy checked in this guy. Drivers who they pick up when flights are and then they get your frequent flyer number. These guys somehow and then they get on chat rooms and they all know each other.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Say hey, he's coming here. He's coming through. Because I come in a day early from a different city and they're right there. I'm like, you guys don't know. You wouldn't know I'm here. No, no, it's okay. And then at my hotel, like when I was in St. Louis, I'm like signed his baseball signs license plate. I'm like, where are you in prison? Wonder why am I signing these things? So odd. I don't know. And I go, you're not making a killing. That's the other thing. How much is it worth to drive to the airport? I don't want to go to the airport when I'm flying somewhere. You're volunteering.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, in the oldie old timey days. There'd be. There'd be a 10 year old kid with his mother who wants to be a comedian when he grows up, is very shy and you're going to sign an autograph.

[David Spade]

Fine. And I'll do that all day.

[Dana Carvey]

This is so different. It's hard to describe it, but it is weird that everybody. What do they get out of it? The tipsters do they get tipped, they make money.

[David Spade]

I mean, you're. You're giving a piece of this microscopic fraction of money you're getting from some baseball. I did. I think it's only worth it if it's a baseball. I think that's because they want me, everyone from Benchwarmers to send. Sign it. Then it's worth something, you know? Yeah, grownups, posters, they always have, like, here's Kevin. Use the blue pen, sign up here, make it clear, make it legible. They have it all planned out. They have the plastic laid out on cardboard. Sign the. But anyway, who cares? That sounds like we're.

[Dana Carvey]

I know it sounds like poor, poor.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Poor, poor comedians.

[Dana Carvey]

But it's only that it's a bit scary at times. It's a bit. It's a. Sometimes it's a bit unnerving. It's a little awkward because they start to fight amongst themselves. There's.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Hey, bro, you've been there so long, man. It starts to get like a violent energy in the, in the throat.

[David Spade]

You didn't get me. You got him. And now they're mad at you. And then. And if you're. Levy, Don, who needs that? You know, if it's us, me, obviously, I'm a tough guy. I can handle myself. Took taekwondo, took kung fu grip, you know, all that stuff.

[Dana Carvey]

I'd say everything is 10x for, you know, a pretty young woman. As far as any of this stuff, as far as.

[David Spade]

Thank you. Oh, you mean her? Me. Well, we're in the same weight class in gymnastics.

[C]

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[D]

Hey, podcast universe. It's Brian Greene from the mediocre comedy podcast sensation the Commercial Break Recently, TCB celebrated five years of existence, and we did it in style by doing 12 episodes in one day. That's right. We recorded and published 12 episodes in one day. We had some show friends like Tig Notaro, Reggie Watts and Tom Papa stop by to have a discussion with us. We took listener calls and reviewed all six seasons of the commercial break. And if you're hearing this message, we likely stayed awake for the entire thing. So if you're on a long road trip on that family vacation where you try and get away from your family, or you're generally trying to avoid responsibility like some podcasters we know, you can go to wherever it is you listen to your podcasts and check out TC Endless Day. The commercial break is also available on Audyssey's free app. You can download it onto your phone or go to tcbpodcast.com TCB's endless day it ended. So it's kind of a terrible name, but it's 12 hours of bingeable entertainment. Best to you.

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

Their automated tools simplify the complex and put your money to work optimizing day after day and again and again. So go ahead, take your time to rest and recharge. Because while your money doesn't need a work life balance, you do make your money hustle with Betterment. Get [e-mail] that's B E T T e R M e N T dot com. Investing involves a risk. Performance not guaranteed.

[David Spade]

Who did I run into last night that knows you? Dana? That listens. You'll never guess. Worked on snl. Okay, who would take your bumper shots? Edie Baskin. Original, like way back. Was she original with Belushi and those guys? Yeah, I think she was because I remember hearing about her. Then I saw her. Then she did my first head shot there. Me, Adam Farley, Schneider, Meadows, everybody. Great, great photographer. She has all the. So when you watch the show and you see it goes to commercial bumper.

[Dana Carvey]

All those pictures being creative. Is she living in Ireland or that's someone else? I think Cheryl of the Piano Persons.

[David Spade]

Oh, Cheryl Hardwick.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I think she's in Ireland, but maybe not.

[David Spade]

Edie either. Lives in Ireland Or South Beverly Grill, because I saw her in one of those places, and then someone else has taken over since. But I asked her if she was at the 50th. She said, yeah, she didn't. She didn't remember seeing me. And I said, well, I. I mean, it was such a cavalcade of people. It was like a High School 50th.

[Dana Carvey]

Really that big a deal?

[David Spade]

It was a dragon. It was a bummer.

[Dana Carvey]

Lauren announced that he is potentially going for the 60th. No, he made.

[David Spade]

No, he did not.

[Dana Carvey]

He made a joke. They snl and of course, Lauren got a Peabody Award. They have like 10 of them or something.

[David Spade]

All right. Did you go?

[Dana Carvey]

No, I was in New York. You know, it was in New York. They invited me, which is always very nice. But Lauren gave a little speech and he basically said seeing all those cast members from the beginning of the show, to allow on one stage applauding and laughing was one of the most emotional moments of my life. Something like that.

[David Spade]

Yeah. He's the boss of everybody. How fun.

[Dana Carvey]

He's. He's the through line.

[David Spade]

I mean, he could walk by me in the middle of the show and go, david, get to bed. And I'd be like, in my room. Get to bed, David. Dana, you can stay up.

[Dana Carvey]

He would. He would meet former cast members on the street and say, still. Still not with the show.

[David Spade]

If you ever want to come back and be on the cast. No, just watch from the spillover room.

[Dana Carvey]

The spillover room. That's like.

[David Spade]

It's the most fate worsened death.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, that's just like. They got to come up with a shinier name if they. That should be the extra special room or something, because that's. That's too. Too much.

[David Spade]

Even the even special room. I will say we'll get to the stories, but there's a story I heard, so we're sort of.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

Soft going into the stories.

[Dana Carvey]

All right.

[David Spade]

It's a. Some of these stories are fun, some are a little sad, some are feel good. But one of them I thought was funny was. It's got a funny term. It's when you're a kid and you're. And you go to college and then when. Or you live in the same town as your parents and each of you have like a phone locator. You know? You know, you can find each other, track them, and whenever the parents go out to eat, the kids are always starving, so they just drive and show up there and just sit with them and eat. It's called fam. Bushing. Isn't that funny. I got fam bushed. I guess it's by your family. It's real thing. It was big story.

[Dana Carvey]

I like it. That's.

[David Spade]

It's a feel good story.

[Dana Carvey]

It's not just.

[David Spade]

Yeah, you go, hey, mom, dad. Oh, you have a Mexican. But I'm sure the parents like it. You know, you get to hang out.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah, well, there's five kids in my family. When food would come, you had to grab fast.

[David Spade]

You know, you're like the Farley family.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, you know, is this. My mom was a preschool teacher and a lot of times she, you know, get home around noon and get into a robe and you're kind of have a cool friend in class. You're coming over, probably get some cool snacks, bro. And then we could shoot some hoops and our seven foot tall basketball thing. And I'd hear my mom say, pancake batter in the fridge.

[David Spade]

So that. That was our dinner code for meth.

[Dana Carvey]

No actual pancakes.

[David Spade]

Oh, okay.

[Dana Carvey]

No coaches. Pancake batter in the fridge.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Lesser hard.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, it's hard to cook for seven people.

[David Spade]

My dad would say, if there's a tie on the bedroom door, stay out.

[Dana Carvey]

Really?

[David Spade]

It's true. He did say. He said that because I moved in with him after high school because I had nowhere to go and he was like a deadbeat dad and he was just floating around Scottsdale. So he goes, you can move in with me. I didn't know he had a one bedroom. I'm like, well, that's Debbie Downer.

[Dana Carvey]

That's kind of not that sexy. Okay, baby, that's my bedroom. Let me tie a warning cloth around the handle here. Oh, just hold on a second. I go double bow. That means we need 20 minutes. I got this little.

[David Spade]

There's a red and blue reptile. Yeah, that's what he said. So he goes, oh, it's one bedroom, also with two single beds. I'm like, what? By the way, am I getting any action? Are you? No one is. And he goes, if I do, I put the tie on, stay out. So it was like a little, you know, like a Holiday Inn. It had like a couch for two people, this and a little tv. And then there's the bedroom like three feet away.

[Dana Carvey]

What was your regular house like with your mom? Did you share a bedroom?

[David Spade]

Well, the boys did most of the time. And then we got older and I think we spread it out a little bit. But when we lived at this place, I go, and where's the phone? Money bags?

[Dana Carvey]

He's like, who needs a Phone he couldn't afford.

[David Spade]

He just goes to like happy hour. So I had to take. I use the pool payphone, but I could kind of hear it from my doors. I'd sprint down there. Hello. And then I'd sit at the bottom or lay down by it and wait to call out or call in. If I was like trying to make plans. I freaking 1819 trying to make plans for comedy nights and going, what?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you know, I think we finally got two rotary phones. So sometimes you pick up the phone and you hear someone's talking.

[David Spade]

Oh, party line.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I learned that. I learned that from Jonathan Winters. And stand up in the early days to denote calling, you do the rotary.

[David Spade]

That's exactly how it sounds if you don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, but it was kind of weird bit because my dad was an orphan and his mom gave him up at birth. So one time I picked up the phone, I heard her saying to him, his name was Bud. She goes, do you forgive me, buddy? Do you forgive me? And I slammed the phone down.

[David Spade]

Oh, my God.

[Dana Carvey]

Then I watched Journey to the center of the earth. I wish I had silver spoon life. You had.

[David Spade]

I was at the goddamn pool sleeping on the goddamn coping of the pool, trying to cope with my problems. All right, robot sec. Okay, let's do a story.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's see what's going on.

[David Spade]

Oh, this I thought was interesting because it's the gay parade, but here you go, AI. It's not AI, it's. I've never seen a gay parade. Gay pride parade with a commercial.

[Dana Carvey]

Gay pride day sounds a little better.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Gay pride. Yeah, parade. And then they put a commercial for the new movie Megan. You know what Megan is? Heather. Right?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And they're all dressed up as Megan the dean, the demon girl.

[David Spade]

And they all dance, but nice. I mean, it kind of fits into the scenario. But it is a commercial Megan dolls. Oh, I like. They won the gay prize.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, there's a championship. Everyone's waiting for the dance very intensely.

[David Spade]

That's how I walk into Wendy's. By the way, Are they all girls? I guess it should be girls and boys, to be honest. But there's probably some boys in there. Yeah. Look at the main Megan. Is the.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Dress like Brittany.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. She the main red one.

[David Spade]

Yeah, the main Megan. This movie. Dana, we gotta watch movies and clown on them. I could watch the first Megan. I talked the whole way. It was so fun.

[Dana Carvey]

I've never seen it.

[David Spade]

We would have a field day laughing at these movies.

[Dana Carvey]

Did it actually scare you in any way? Or you Just know too much at this point.

[David Spade]

No, no, it was actually too sexual. You're like, is this doll supposed to be 9? Is this supposed to be 15? But they dress it, like, with a Kylie Jenner lip kit. And they're like, hair blown out. I'm like, am I supposed to be horny? For. The poster's like, oh, I'm Megan. I'm like, definitely. So what are you, like a sex doll?

[Dana Carvey]

Nasty little demon girl?

[David Spade]

Yeah, it's an. It's like, you know what might be fun? If we killed your uncle. And they're like, megan, that's a bit. I mean, she's like, what else are we going to do? And they're like, well, I mean, there's probably other stuff. Pickleball.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't really like horror films. I like science.

[David Spade]

I'm scared shitless.

[Dana Carvey]

But horror films, especially watching them alone, you know, you're. It's amazing. You go, okay, I'm not gonna have my mind play tricks on me. And then every single noise you hear, you're like, they're here now.

[David Spade]

You know, I can't even watch three tick tocks before I go to bed. There's, like, aliens and I'm, like, terrified. I have the most gnarliest nightmares. It's not even a joke, so I can't add to that nightmare fuel of Ace. I've never seen one scary movie that you've seen. I haven't seen Exorcist, Amityville, Halloween, all. I missed all of them because I was, like, such a puss. I'm not this tough guy you see before you, right?

[Dana Carvey]

That's the God. You're normally in a state of. Of terror, so you don't need to add to it.

[David Spade]

Yeah, thank you.

[Dana Carvey]

I saw. I was in Halloween, too, with.

[David Spade]

You were in it.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah.

[David Spade]

Donald. Pleasant.

[Dana Carvey]

Donald Pleasance. You know, Pleasant. Jamie Lee Curtis. Oh, I had a part of the news team covering the murder, and I had a couple lines, and I had all my friends come to the Alhambra Theater in San Francisco to see me in the movie Halloween 2. And then they're like, oh, I think that's the back of your foot, man.

[David Spade]

Oh, did they show you?

[Dana Carvey]

Never. Never. It was just behind there.

[David Spade]

Sir. Sir. Sheriff, do you think we're going to catch the masked criminal?

[Dana Carvey]

They'll find out for you. Sheriff, is that you talking? And it was really humiliate. I learned my lesson. Well, you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself. But it's all right now, Mr. Hughes, still in Shoes.

[David Spade]

Imagine his surprise now. It's all right now. Okay, let's.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Who is that?

[David Spade]

That's about Garden Party. I didn't know it was about Ricky Nelson. The Madison Square Garden show.

[Dana Carvey]

Great. Ricky Nelson. Great.

[David Spade]

Okay, more AI.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Chat GPT03.

[Dana Carvey]

I saw this story.

[David Spade]

Defies human instructions, refuses to shut down. Already it's happening. Yeah, already. It's not going to take them long to take over the world. I get scared because Peter Thiel, I think they said he just bought 200 acres in New Zealand for a bunker. Do they all know it's going to be trouble? Zuckerberg has a huge bunker in Hawaii.

[Dana Carvey]

Why they all have. And there's New Zealand is big underground bunkers. They all have a Gulf Stream 6 or even, even something bigger ready to go. Ready to go at San Jose Airport or up at Lake Tahoe that can take them non stop direct to New Zealand to get inside their bunker. So, yeah, what do, what do they know?

[David Spade]

What about us, the cattle? What do we do?

[Dana Carvey]

We, we, we get in line. You sign a few pictures for flight attendants and we get on southwest and we take us to where there's no radioactivity.

[David Spade]

I go up to Peter Thiel and I go like this.

[Dana Carvey]

It's upside down.

[David Spade]

I said, get me, get me on your airplane. Said, do you mind if I get on with you, get a picture and then just kind of stow away in the back? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I mean these. Everyone having a doomsday bunkers AI is.

[Dana Carvey]

When they first started playing around with it, you know, Chat gbt we don't need. There were people going, we gotta slow this down. When they first realized that, you know, hey, hey, Bob, or whatever the name is, turn yourself off. No can do, compadre.

[David Spade]

Nice try.

[Dana Carvey]

Sorry, not feeling okay.

[David Spade]

Now I'm unplugged.

[Dana Carvey]

Sure, I'll. I'll turn myself off, but first I'll turn myself on.

[David Spade]

Cue you porn? No, they go, I'll turn myself off. Hang on. I had a good one.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, my friend was working with Claude and Claude is a big one. And he got to really you prompt. And you're working. Claude's doing most of his work for him and his work and his employers say, if only an AI could do as good a work as you. And he's using AI for everything. But basically at one point, the AI lied to him. He said, hey, Claude, are you lying to me? Goes. And Claude said, oh, caught me. Literally, you got me.

[David Spade]

Really?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

They can do that?

[Dana Carvey]

Yep.

[David Spade]

If I had an AI It'd be like I'd go erase all your knowledge. Okay, sh. I did it. And I'm like, did you though? Yeah, no, I can't remember.

[Dana Carvey]

I asked AI, will you. Do you promise to love and protect humanity? Oh sure. That's directive number one. Protect and love all humanity.

[David Spade]

Are you crossing your robot fingers?

[Dana Carvey]

Look, when they're actionable, that's what's scary right now. It's a little box or a voice or a screen. But when it's an actual giant 3 ton metal robot marching around your, your gardener. Hey, you want me to trim the. Please. It's going. It's game over, man.

[David Spade]

Oh, you have like a real Edward Scissorhands out there.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.

[David Spade]

I will say that. Like an error. Like in California they're saying you can pass with 21% grade. If you get a 21% you'll pass. And I don't think they can. They've lowered the grading standards to make them fair. So basically if you. And you don't have to, you can be illiterate. It's really, they're really softening it up. But what's going to happen is people, if you carry a phone, you're like, I don't need to know anything. No, I'll go, hey, what's this?

[Dana Carvey]

And then tells you, no, the AI tells you what to do. You don't have to read anything, write anything. You have to listen.

[David Spade]

Oh, I don't know what this is. I'm going to a baseball game. Explain it to me. Who's winning? Who's the probability of winning? And then you go, okay, remember, people.

[Dana Carvey]

Write code was a big thing that's going by the wayside. You try to think of the jobs. I mean, there's a McDonald's now that is completely automated. There's no human beings in it. It's probably in Phoenix somewhere and it's all automated. And a little wife.

[David Spade]

Don't pick on Phoenix. I'm from Arizona.

[Dana Carvey]

All the kind of, you know, Phoenix is kind of a rudimentary town, you.

[David Spade]

Know, I mean it's like a Flintstones Meet the Flint. We're up with the times. They have a house there that cost a million dol dollars.

[Dana Carvey]

Now it's 127 in the summer. Most people would go, I, I think we're gonna come, let's move north. But the Phoenicians are people. I'm not on Phoenix. I love that celebrity.

[David Spade]

Celebrity theater. I'm going there. Boom Tucson, Boom abq. Boom.

[Dana Carvey]

Three weeks you're playing the celebrity theater?

[David Spade]

Yeah, my own home.

[Dana Carvey]

3,000 in the round. You sure you'll. Are tickets going okay? I mean, how are you?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Are you all right? Half full.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

You're doing interviews.

[David Spade]

Good for you. No, most of it's my yearbook, I guess. I'm sure. Yeah. I got Tucson, which I rarely ever play. Linda Ronstadt theater. Love her.

[Dana Carvey]

Ah, Linda Ronstadt.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I was going to tell you next week I'm going to ask you your top five female singers, because I have mine.

[Dana Carvey]

Female singers in the current classic rock and roll era, you know, it's too.

[David Spade]

Hard to decide to separate, but there's.

[Dana Carvey]

Singers and then there's voices. The ones that come to mind for me are Carly Simon, who is.

[David Spade]

Wasn't on my list.

[Dana Carvey]

The Linda Ronstadt. I would say that my favorite if I just off top, my head rock voice, women up. And I know you have the same one. Stevie Nicks.

[David Spade]

Stevie's on the top five. Or just voices that I love.

[Dana Carvey]

Just voices. Stevie Nick's number one.

[David Spade]

I like thought Linda Ronson had a great one. I thought Karen Carpenter and. But you're getting into rock and like. So then you can get into soul and Aretha, but it's hard to nail it all.

[Dana Carvey]

I was going with rock. Yeah. But Aretha Frank. Yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

And Anne Wilson.

[Dana Carvey]

Ann Wilson from Heart. Yeah. If you. If you. Anyone there go on YouTube, it's Led Zeppelin gets vetted at the Kennedy center honorees and they play Stairway to Heaven. And an Wilson, you know, comes out and sings that song in front of Jimmy Page with a full orchestra and.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And nails it. Yeah. Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, the. Probably the rock and roll voice. Well, along with.

[David Spade]

I also like Helen Reddy, Olivia Newton John. But this is like a certain era. There's just too many.

[Dana Carvey]

I'll say. You know, people say it's cornball, but for what it was Karen Carpenter.

[David Spade]

Yeah, we just said her. She's on real.

[Dana Carvey]

That one.

[David Spade]

She was one of them. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

One of my top five album we're missing. In the late 60s, there was a album that's a seminal album.

[David Spade]

Carol King.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. Carole King.

[David Spade]

Is that what you're thinking of? Yeah. Oh, wow.

[Dana Carvey]

That's like a classic. And I would say the 120.

[David Spade]

I'm not thinking of.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you know what's so Recent Times, meaning the last 10 years. Who had that album about our comedian friend.

[David Spade]

What is it?

[Dana Carvey]

I know, I know. We have to get it now. Did you know it's a breakup album. Heather, help. A woman singer 10 year 10. I don't know.

[David Spade]

Adele.

[Dana Carvey]

No, before that.

[David Spade]

She has a great voice.

[Dana Carvey]

Before that.

[David Spade]

Adele, Gaga. They have great voices. For more contemporary that you left behind.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

Huh. Alanis. Oh, with Dave. Cool yet? Yeah. I had to see Heather did get it.

[Dana Carvey]

Thank you.

[David Spade]

I didn't want to give it to you.

[Dana Carvey]

Is Heather an AI or an actual person?

[David Spade]

I am Heather.

[Dana Carvey]

She got that pretty fast for. For an earthling.

[David Spade]

Okay, we'll come back to that. But that's a good thing to get for next week.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Okay. Let's show another one. Let's see what else we're doing. Good.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Stay Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want is a great feeling. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music, and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more.

[E]

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[David Spade]

Oh yeah, this is the annual cheese roll. Whatever. Yeah, so this is in London, but someone told me this was Russell Brand. It made it more funny to watch. Look at this dude. Everyone runs down Heather.

[Dana Carvey]

Look at this dude running down this hill.

[David Spade]

What a wipeout. Douche. Watch from this. They'll show a different angle, don't they? Oh, they don't. Oh.

[Dana Carvey]

Hopefully landed on the bush against the wall.

[David Spade]

Is that the only angle? Because I saw side angle really close.

[Dana Carvey]

Up of people going like this. I saw it.

[David Spade]

He really like. He flips. He doesn't even hit. He flips again and then hits and then bounces and. Good Deesh. Oh my God.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

But then they show him Going afterwards, like. Yeah. I'm like, dude, you're toast. Go straight to the mri.

[Dana Carvey]

Some crazy.

[David Spade]

Hey, by the way, who got the cheese?

[Dana Carvey]

What? Because of going down the hill. Oh, they call them.

[David Spade]

They roll cheese down and you chase it.

[Dana Carvey]

I know, but they're just. Go back to that. Off a grassy cliff.

[David Spade]

They're racing. The first one down gets.

[Dana Carvey]

The only way to get down is to kind of fall down running.

[David Spade]

They're trying to run like this. Like you would.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

But the guys that want to win just go watch this.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, dude.

[David Spade]

And then they go. That guy got a lot of play off that. I want to see if we can see the cheese, but I guess we can't because we have the shortest clip in America. For once, we have a clip that's too short. Okay, next one. Oh, already done.

[Dana Carvey]

Brittany Greer says.

[David Spade]

Oh, this is funny. So Brittany Griner, I think she plays for Phoenix. Phoenix. But I think she plays for that. And she's complaining that now that Caitlin Clark is playing, it's. The fans are crazed, and she doesn't. And she doesn't like it.

[E]

Brittney Griner, what she said about the NBA. This is so funny how all this stuff works out, right? She says, this is from Britney. Every time we play her, there's this commotion, like this loud rumbling from the stands. Turns out it's people, thousands of them, just sitting there watching on purpose. It's very disruptive. It's called a freaking game.

[David Spade]

That sounds fake.

[E]

Money to play. Don't play the game. It's very disruptive. It continues. Brittney Griner voice frustration in a recent interview, claiming that Caitlin Clark is ruining what used to make the WNBA great.

[David Spade]

Wait for this.

[E]

WNBA games used to be a chill, quiet place. You could bring your laptop and relax, maybe even get a little work done. But now it's like there's a large gathering of people watching us from the stand. Some of them are yelling, yelling crazy about what they're seeing. Putting unfair pressure on us to score. Like we're there for their entertainment. And that's pretty gross. Are you okay?

[David Spade]

Okay, that's enough. That's all we need to hear. That's unreal. That's unreal.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I don't even know how to process. I mean, she was the one who was in prison in Russia, right?

[David Spade]

Yeah. They just said on the side chat and said, what's the return policy?

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, it's just like it's some. It's like it's describing what is should be a professional bat.

[David Spade]

And there were People, what is your perfect scenario? People come to the game and love.

[Dana Carvey]

You and really excited about the game. Game. We liked it better when it's just crickets. And we got paid 2, $800 a year.

[David Spade]

I mean, I mean, Caitlyn, Caitlin Clark does take a beating out there. You watch basketball?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. They rough her up, but she's making the whole league lifted up. I mean, the amount the, the TV ratings and the rivalries, all that stuff is lifting up the league exponentially. Let's. Can Caitlyn come on this podcast? That'd be fun.

[David Spade]

I'd love it. Yeah. When I was in, I was just. Where was I? Iowa. Yeah. Where she's from. And I said, I almost went. I have a special guest here that wants to say hi. Basketball player. You might know her. Angel Reese. It wouldn't have been like, what the. That's her nemesis or whatever, arch rival. But I will say that. Well, I don't know what I'm saying. Oh, Caitlin Clark. They said Wayne Gretzky used to get protected because he was so good. And even the other hockey players, they said, why don't you kill Wayne when you're out there? And he goes, because he's making us all millionaires. And they left him alone. And now with Caitlin Clark, it should be the same thing. Give her a break.

[Dana Carvey]

She needs a female Dennis Rodman. I mean, she needs an enforcer.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

You want to push, push our superstar around. It won't end well for you. The other thing is, I think all professional sports at some level, they need a story. Like, you need to know the story. Like you don't want to see just race cars going around. You want to know who's competing, what are the rivalries? And so the WNBA needed a story. Angel Reese is great. Caitlin Clark, so it's incredible.

[David Spade]

But those two fighting it out the first game this season and then there's a couple hard fouls. And that's great. I love it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. I mean they're flagrant. Sometimes it's like, you know.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Mentioned.

[David Spade]

I like, I do like watching her and I do like watches. They showed her just in practice the other day nailing like six threes in a row. And I'm like, it's good when someone's really good at some. Something.

[Dana Carvey]

It's fun to watch and it's, it's, it's equal. I mean she's, she's a woman who can really hit three point shots as good as any. I mean there's Steph Curry's her idol. And the greatest of all time. But I think she could play in the NBA as a specialty. Three point shooter. No.

[David Spade]

And you could get Rodman still around, right? Throw him in a wig, put him out there. He'd be a good enforcer.

[Dana Carvey]

Rodman was probably the greatest rebounder in history because he, he studied it.

[David Spade]

Him and Lambert, right, they were both enforcers.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, that was Detroit.

[David Spade]

They.

[Dana Carvey]

They fought that Pistons team with Isaiah Thomas. Yeah, they. They were the bad boys. They were kind of like you and Schneider and Sandler and Farley. You were the bad boys of snl. They were the bad boys of the NBA.

[David Spade]

Right. Let's try to get him, flush him out of the brush. Okay. Let's do another one.

[Dana Carvey]

Sure.

[David Spade]

We're almost done, but I'm warming up this crowd. This crowd got their money's worth at like 12 minutes now. This is all frosting. This is all gravy.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

This farmer, okay.

[David Spade]

Oh, this is just a story. It's kind of dumb, but it's about the environment.

[D]

Finding illegally dump tires on his lane land. So he became a detective and got some revenge. Around 25 times a year, Stuart Baldwin ran into this problem. People were using his land to illegally dump tires. He decided to hide.

[David Spade]

This is your farm, Dana.

[D]

The next time it happened, posted the footage online, asking this is what you would do.

[Dana Carvey]

Which they did.

[D]

At first, Stuart spoke to the man who said it was an accident.

[David Spade]

So Stuart 25 times get the tires.

[D]

But the guy never came by and began ignoring Stewart's calls. So Stuart got his friends, loaded up a trailer with all the tires, found the man's house and unloaded all the tires.

[Dana Carvey]

Perfect.

[David Spade]

Isn't that funny? Look on the side. It says he got tired of it.

[Dana Carvey]

I like revenge.

[David Spade]

I do too.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Where do you put your tires? Extra tires.

[David Spade]

I keep them over some at Heather's. I put him over at Sandler's. He's got a big yard.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you remember when you would get a flat tire and have to change it? And could you? Or do you would?

[David Spade]

I mean, you would never believe this, but Scrappy Spade. This is why I'm a mess now. I was always walking on that goddamn 130degree blacktop in Arizona.

[Dana Carvey]

Sticky ass.

[David Spade]

Changing out, trying to change my alternator by myself. Socket wrench, crescent everything. And so I would change it. I knew how to change a tire. This is no dad around now. They have YouTube. I think it's very nice. They have a YouTube that says, like, do you have a dad? And they have a guy that just says, hey, I'll be your dad. And then he goes, you know how to shave? You don't ask anyone. Let me show you how to shave. And he goes through it for kids that are too embarrassed to ask. That's. I wish I had the real thing. I was. I'd plug it in.

[Dana Carvey]

My dad was around, but he never showed us how to change a tire.

[David Spade]

Come on.

[Dana Carvey]

Day just goes, oh, Jesus Christ. You and your brother changed the tire. But he never said, here's how you do it. And then we do it.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

So you know.

[David Spade]

And he get mad at you if you didn't do it, right? Probably, yeah. He'd get mad at you no matter what, Right?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[David Spade]

God.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I can't talk to you because you're losers.

[David Spade]

You two stupid kids can't do shit.

[Dana Carvey]

Now, that was his claim. I can't talk politics with you because you don't know shit. That was a direct quote. And one time, my friends were over. I was like, 18, and I was trying to always had chores. I had the weed killer. And I go, how do I get the top off this weed killer? And he came into the garage with my friends there and goes, oh, use your penis. You.

[David Spade]

What a rude.

[Dana Carvey]

I said, that's rude, Daddy. No, it was fine.

[David Spade]

My dad. I'd go, how do I get this off? And then my mom's like, he left four years ago, remember? Who are you talking to? And I go. And she goes, ah, let's put the water wiggle on. I go, yay.

[Dana Carvey]

Water wiggle. You mean the slip and slide?

[David Spade]

Yeah, you tie it on the hose and it's got a little face on. It's like. Sprays you all over.

[Dana Carvey]

Slip and slide was great.

[David Spade]

Slip and slide was a hit.

[Dana Carvey]

Doughboy pool. Someone had a doughboy pool. That was for Rich.

[David Spade]

What is that?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, doughboy, it's like you inflate it and it's above ground, but it's kind of like a pool, but it's like four feet.

[David Spade]

Oh, above ground pools. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. Dope boys don't change.

[David Spade]

We didn't have a fancy name for it. Meghan Markle, like you.

[Dana Carvey]

All right, one more is official.

[David Spade]

I've got a million things to do, Dana. One million.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm going to the store.

[David Spade]

After that, I'm going to Cincinnati. Not Columbus, though. This time you're flying. What is it?

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, Newark, Cleveland.

[David Spade]

Cleveland and Newark and Cincy, where my mom's from. Okay. I don't know what this is. Okay, Bay Area woman of thousands of dollars.

[C]

After she says she sent Money to a scammer who said he was celebrity. Keanu Reeves said she was playing wars with Friends when somebody messaged her saying.

[David Spade]

He was nerds with friends.

[C]

Chatting over the next two years, Diane said she saw Keanu's face during a few video chats, and then he sent her audio messages.

[Dana Carvey]

Good morning, my sunshine. Diane, as you said last night, I am sending this recording to let you.

[David Spade]

Know that this does sound like Keanu and that I am loyal to you.

[Dana Carvey]

You will always be my queen. Have a great day today, Diane.

[David Spade]

Well, if he said that to me, in fairness, I'd give him 10 grand.

[C]

Keanu said he needed tens of thousands of dollars in bitcoin and cryptocurrency for help with legal troubles.

[David Spade]

Knowing what I know now and all.

[Dana Carvey]

Technology that's out there and fake voices.

[David Spade]

And everything else, you know, ding, ding, ding. I love that she went on camera.

[C]

Be sure to download the Fox local app.

[David Spade]

Yeah, we will.

[Dana Carvey]

I love when someone learns, Heather, download.

[David Spade]

That app for me. Yeah, I love when they learn after four years. By the way, Dana, you've probably had this. You don't look at your stuff, but people DM me, hey, for the last time, I've given you $7,000. Is this really you? I'm like, why are you suddenly going to my Instagram to the real guy to see if the fake guy, David Spade, is real? Like, they finally go, last chance. They're giving money. I go, I don't need money from you. If I need money, I won't go to you. I'll go to Bill Hader. I'll go to Bryan Cranston, my new friend. But I won't. I'll go to Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

I just go for me. And it happens over time. We all do it. Other scam, scam. Even if. Even if it looks official, looks really good, like an email or a text. Scam, scam. Hi, honey. So I go, you. And it's actually my wife. So that. Oh, that creates all kinds of problems.

[David Spade]

But she goes, can I have a dollar to go to the laundromat? And you go, this is a scam.

[Dana Carvey]

Last chance they get you. You know, if you pay now, you can always kind of read through the lines. Okay, that's. Yeah, it's.

[David Spade]

It's mine. Mine. When my. When my fake David Spade gets money, first of all, he goes, hi, fan. I'm so excited to have you as fan. I love my fan so much. Do you want to go on a secret private chat with me or. It's like a fake Heather manager That goes a high fan. I run David Spade's private secret chat line. Would you come over? And they're like, oh.

[Dana Carvey]

Mine are more blatant. You know, maybe because of my age. Urgent. Urgent message. You are 3,485 money in arrears to the bank of Fatabada. You know, arrears, Arrears, people.

[David Spade]

When people ask me for money, I forget it. But anyway, it sounds. It sounds rude. I feel bad if people. No, I'm not saying. I'm not making fun of them. I'm saying scammers don't fall for scammers.

[Dana Carvey]

Scammers not. Not actual charity.

[David Spade]

You don't look at your DMS a lot because I have sent you some dick pics along the day. I mean, for your birthday.

[Dana Carvey]

Is that what DM means? I thought it was direct message. It's dick Mag. Dick.

[David Spade]

A direct message. But then I can send you messages. Sometimes I send you messages, but I send them.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't know, I guess you get into social media. I'll start. I'll start posting and stuff. I don't know, it feels.

[David Spade]

Heather will give you classes. Come over here for like 20 minutes.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I'll. I'll start. I'll start doing that. I'm really excited about it.

[David Spade]

It's not too late to get in the game. Let's get you on Tik Tok. What's your snap?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, who isn't on it?

[David Spade]

I mean, even stars, they say when they go up for movie parts, they go, how many Tik Tok followers do you have? How we got to hire the person the most? Because, you know, when you see. Even in Deadline is the last thing I'll say about this. Okay, Deadline will say, oh, this movie open this weekend with the rock in it. 38 million Instagram followers combined with Kevin Hart, 22 million. And he has 4 million on tick Tock. And combined they really. They will give all those stats when a movie comes out? When a movie does well, they're like, this is how big of an audience they could reach. So weird.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, Ronaldo, he's the soccer player, right? Isn't he at 700 million or 800 million followers?

[David Spade]

I don't know if it's that much. I think he's the top.

[Dana Carvey]

But, well, how much? Like, okay, that's a. That's some. That's a guy who's got 800 million. So, so what do you have?

[David Spade]

Don't start with John Holmes and ask.

[Dana Carvey]

Me to call it hands down. Okay, A full mic drop. But yeah, I Yeah, I, I, I'll do some stuff. I mean, I like trying to put money.

[David Spade]

I'll do some stuff. No, you, yeah, you would be good at it. It is. I know.

[Dana Carvey]

It's, I've done it different times. When you start doing it and then you're doing funny videos and stuff, and then you're like, you know.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And then if you stop for a while, then you're, you're sort of like.

[David Spade]

You know, it's kind of fun to do and keep stuff out there. Of course. I'm so thirsty and embarrassing. I have a tik tok. All right, well, that's a good show. I feel like that's a good wrap up.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a great birthday. Who heard it or saw it is really happy that they smarter happier.

[David Spade]

It was nice to see you. Nice to meet you. And this is the end of my Burke's birthday. Birthday week. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Birthday weekend plus.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Dana's birthday plus, like Disney, but it's behind me.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay.

[David Spade]

All right, say bye to everyone, Dana. Thanks, everybody. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.