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A
Danny, you know, I'm running around all day, as you know.
B
You. You actually, that's no joke. You do. You. You do go around. You get in that car.
A
Getting my steps. Yeah, I get the steps. I. And if I don't get my 2, 000 steps a day, I get out and walk. I'm not bragging, but that's what I do. So listen, I need a little energy in the day. Of course. Kachava. Okay. It comes in a bag, right? It's a body meal. It's a whole body meal. So you mix it up either plain. You know, I kind of like throwing a peanut butter, right? That's just me. You can do whatever you want. Add stuff. There's a lot of great ingredients in there already. They've got maca root, goji berry, chia seeds. So many things. But if you want to be energized, focused, calm, and satiated for hours, throw in one of these. I like chocolate. They have also vanilla chai. Is that a word?
B
Yeah. I'd say you add a little bit of peanut butter, a little bit of banana, maybe a little bit of yogurt, and then mix it in a blender or with a big spoon and gulp it down. Not hungry and full of energy all day. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
A
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B
That's Kachava. K A C H A V A dot com codefly for 15% off.
A
Yeah, Dana, it's award season, which means we're due for some classic red carpet combos like strapless dresses and statement necklaces or acclaim directors and long acceptance speeches.
B
But you know what? Look always pairs perfectly together. Discover and cash back. You see, Discover automatically matches all the cash back you've earned at the end of the first year, which is a.
A
Look that will always serve. It pays to slay. It pays to discover. See terms@discover.com credit card. We always pre and print. But that's fine. That's how we start. We look, we get a feel for it. We see what's going on. We go, all right.
B
Exactly. I dare anyone to stare at themselves on a laptop for an hour.
A
Yeah, I dare. You won't like it.
B
Kind of go like this or. Huh.
A
Listen. Okay, so here's it. I'll start because we're going to get right into the stories. This is. Yeah, kind of our new version. We're back. We're doing things. We're on all video now.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
We're definitely going to do some fan questions at the end of these shows. And you can email your questions into Fly on the Wall odyssey dot com. And that can be a written question, a voiced text or a video. We're so dumb, man. We should not have a show. But then we'll play them or we'll read them. Life advice, financial, anything.
B
A new segment that I want to do.
A
Okay.
B
And. And I'll tell you more about it. Take 30 seconds. Okay. And now it's. And now it's time for Shaggy News. Geez, Coomb, I don't think it was such a good idea to vacation in Tehran.
A
Why not?
B
Well, for one thing, Trump dropped a bunker buster on Fordo Mountain. Some people think the damage was minimum. Others think it was severe. We gotta get out of here. What are you doing here, dog and man, I can't get you. We gotta make. Where's that? Where's the mystery van scoop? I don't know.
A
Where's Velma? She's getting gang bang. Keep running.
B
So I want the fan fans, anyone listening to come in with different topics for Shaggy News. As we need more news, we need more segments that'll come back and forth. Did you get the part where he goes, but Trump dropped a bunker buster on Florido Mountain? And then. And then the dog goes, minimum or severe? Some people think it's minimum.
A
Actually, I didn't get that part.
B
That's funny. Some people thought it was minimum damage. Other people think it's severe. We gotta go, Scoob.
A
You come back here. What if Scooby goes? Scooby goes. It looked like the rocks pretty much smashed everything. How much nuclear stuff can take up avalanche?
B
Well, that's a good question. It's very hard to move radioactive material. It's heavy and hard to get to the other mountain. There were three bunker buzzers. One creates the hole and the other goes down the shaft. So anyway, it made me laugh. The most innocent cartoon versus this.
A
I like it. Well, we're off to a 10 out of 10.
B
And 10 out of 10 on fly on the Wall.
A
I will tell you. We're going. Yeah. Everybody, Superfly's gone. It's all fly on the wall. No one can wrap their head around it. And with what's going on in the world, it's just too. This is really the only place to.
B
Go to Find you gotta have some fun with it, you know? Like, so, Danny, I. I had a hard time with the gonna be New York mayor's name. So it's not just because it's Zohan Mandani or not Zohan.
A
It's not Zohan.
B
It's. It's.
A
It's not Water Boy, but it's Z O. It's one sand movie.
B
Hey, Scoob, how do you pronounce the name of the. The next mayor of New York?
A
I don't know.
B
I was trying to give him a nickname. Like Eisenhower had Ike, there was Tricky Dick.
A
Yeah.
B
Obama was Bo. Actually, occasionally.
A
Yeah.
B
Barack Obama. But for Zo. Zohan. Zo man. So anyway, go ahead.
A
Is it just Zo? Do they call him Zoe?
B
So could be. Or Zo, Zo Man. You know, because it's Mandini. It's Zo. Zo and Zohan Mandini.
A
Yeah.
B
Imagine him trying to pronounce my name. Dana Garney.
A
And do his has a lot more letters. Yeah. I'd like to buy a vowel.
B
I'd like to buy a vowel.
A
Oh, I will tell you quickly. We're going right into the news. But I didn't tell you that when I was eating on the road. By the way, are you near. Where am I going? Sonoma, Heather, Saratoga. Are you near that?
B
Oh, yeah. Are you playing the outdoor amphitheater?
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
I've done that several times. I did it with Dennis and Kevin once a couple times.
A
That place is gorgeous.
B
It's up on a mountain and the near Silicon Valley, basically up in the redwoods. You wind your way up and it's a winery and it's like a little.
A
Two lane street up there. Then it's like. It's almost like carved into the mountain. Looks like Rome.
B
For an outdoor theater. It's incredibly intimate.
A
Yeah, it's great. So that'll be two weeks from now, but you're welcome to do a guest spot. Okay. Other than that. When I was in the road this weekend. Oh, we went to Chili's one night, which was a real treat. I like to treat everybody. And this is a funny thing. Does this happen?
B
Why don't you take everyone to Koi or something?
A
I like how Chili. I like how Danny goes. Wait, did you say Chili's? That was the truth.
B
Chili's. You're not getting a. They're pretty reasonable, I hope, financially.
A
No, I'm on the road. And so we just say.
B
All right.
A
They always recommend. Oh, when you're in Cleveland, you Got to go to the spot. But, you know, it's too fast moving. Like I'm not going to have a luxurious, right, seven course meal. We got to eat, get the show, get ready.
B
You want a branded one?
A
Yeah, unless we're going after. At least I know what I'm getting. I like it. So we go in there and you've ever had this, you know, you sort of get overhelped because restaurants, they're happy to have you there. It's like, Mr. Carvey, we've got this. And then they go, they don't see.
B
David Spade and boom, Doc, they don't see anyone.
A
So they go, hey, I'm the assistant night floor manager of this quadrant of the restaurant. If you need anything, by the way, they don't want you. I go, yeah, A1. They're like, hey, what? Oh, hey, does anyone know if we have A one? You know, so they don't really want anything. They just want to come over and say hi. Anyway, so we. We have about four different people do that. And then. And then we're eating and one guy leans over, I think it's a total stranger. He leans over near Catherine because we're like on a booth. And he goes, hey, I'm taking off, guys. And we go, okay. And he goes, yeah, I'm wrapping up. I hung in there. Lecture to see you guys, but you guys good? Got your chips? I go, yep. And he goes, yeah, so I think I'm gonna cruise. I'm like, oh, you work here? I didn't know, you know, he was one. He was one of the assistant managers that came over. And then he comes and lets us down gently. That he has to take.
B
Well, it probably a nice guy in his mind. He's going, hey, don't worry about saying the dishwasher, Eddie. Don't worry about it. I got the back. We got a celebrity out there. Remember Tommy boy? He's in a. He's in a restaurant. I got his back, you know, but I gotta go soon. I gotta tell him that I gotta leave. And he's not gonna take it lightly. So, you know, you back me up on this, right? So he had a whole thing in his head, but that is sounds like a very nice guy.
A
He's very nice. And it was very funny because it took us all a second to go, does that guy work? And they're like, yeah, he came up at the beginning. There's one of the six people that came up. We're like, oh, because, you know, people come say hey. Hi. Hey.
B
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I'm leaving now.
A
Listen, that's. Yeah, I didn't know you're here, but now I'm taking off. So. Anyway, that was fun. Chili's was fun. Gigs are fun.
B
Can I tell you my 10 second true story that's not funny about food on the road? Green Bay playing. Green Bay, Wisconsin.
A
Yeah.
B
Say to the promoter after, where's a good place to eat? And he goes, yeah, Ted Steakhouse. They got real big food down there. Big food. Yeah. And over at Eddie's Lasagna, they got. They had really big food. You know, both those place got real big food. And I'm not kidding. That's exactly what I heard.
A
Did you get big food?
B
I don't know. I'm a miniature man. Everywhere I go, my wife and I constantly have to. Let's split it. We're never disappointed. It's like you're getting a turkey sandwich and it's the size of a watermelon and some fries.
A
I mean, I went to a restaurant last night, by the way. I saw Drew Barrymore, Heather's favorite, while she was eating there. She was hilariously cute. She looked great, actually. Had no makeup on. She had, like, a baseball. She looks so cute. So she was fun to see. And then we were ordering spaghetti, me and my friend, and they have. They have regular and large. Large was 130. And I'm like, for spaghetti. For spaghetti and gold balls. I mean, what is happening? 130. I go, how big is it? They're like, it's really big for 130. It's like this.
B
Who's gonna eat that?
A
That's 130. I think this. But Dana, it didn't. They go, it could fit, like, three people. I go, it better.
B
Well, did you order it?
A
No, Dana. No. I don't have Dana Carvey money. Yeah.
B
Can I tell you my Drew Barry more story?
A
We never do this show. Yeah, let's do one more.
B
It's 10 seconds. Shows you how sweet she is. And it was so. So we're at Sandler's, you know, D.C. thing, right. You know, when he got his Mark Twain Award. And she's backstage. And I said, yeah, I really like your show. You're a natural at that. You're great. And she just paused with all sincerity, like, just went, really? You think? So she's been on for, like, three years.
A
Sweet. Yeah.
B
And then later on, we're taking the picture, and she just puts her hand on my leg. Not in a sexual way. Just very friendly. Let's have her back on.
A
Yes, she's hilarious because I told an embarrassing story, but it was funny. Okay, so let's hit right, right to the news. We're not right to the news. Obviously we didn't go right to it.
B
But we, well, we got, we had our little preamble.
A
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B
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A
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B
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A
Okay, here's one. This one is. We've heard these things about Bill Gates. Bill Gates finally releases his gml. Oh, mosquitoes. I think it was Florida. Now, I thought this was odd because what. What do you have to know to be able to, like, I'm rich, but I'm not. I get to drop mosquitoes on people. Rich. Like, I can't operate on mosquitoes. And they go, dana, I think I've hit a money, you know, level where I can. I'm gonna drop spiders on Arizona. Like, they're good ones. I've trained them. I think they're gonna eat the bad ones. So this always is peculiar, how much money he can buy. He's not a scientist, right?
B
No. Well, okay. They're genetically modified mosquitoes, so they will not transmit diseases by biting people. Is that it?
A
I think they. Ideally, if this mosquito goes along with it, they bite a bad mosquito and then they die. But now you got the GMO ones that now want to run the show. And I don't want any added mosquitoes. How about that?
B
Well, I had seen some. I think it was on pbs, a documentary about this. And they're interviewing Bill Gates and goes, well, you know, I really don't like mosquitoes, and I'm going to try to get rid of them. How much money will it take? Not much. Maybe 2 billion.
A
I know. I mean, if you got mosquito money.
B
That'S the worst Bill Gates impression.
A
I know. It's kind of Kermit the front. I don't know.
B
It's a little Kermity. I know. I apologize. No, it's good because I shouldn't apologize because I read one of the comments as I apologize all the time.
A
Do not apologize.
B
These people, man.
A
Yeah, the comments, really, they're pretty nice. But right toward the end, for some reason, they start to go, hey, by the way, get. So that's at the very end. But I. Yeah, I poo poo that day. That doesn't hurt me.
B
I have an AI device, and I say, only read me comments that refer to David Spade. So it's really comfortable.
A
And I watch. And then there are a lot of.
B
Good ones in there.
A
Oh, good.
B
Okay, there's some good ones in there.
A
All right, let's move on from mosquito gate.
B
Let's go.
A
Which I disapprove of. I'm going to say, oh, this one is Pacers staff. Pacers just were in the finals. They tell ESPN to stop filming an emotional T.J. mcConnell after the Game 7 loss. I thought of this during it when I was watching it. I'm like, hey, that's enough. Because this guy is really going to live with this forever. Because he did do well. You remember this kid? You watched this.
B
Unbelievable. I watched every single game. He's listed at 6. He's probably 5, 10.
A
Yeah.
B
He's the speediest guy on the floor. His stats were off the charts.
A
And, oh, even his mom is telling.
B
So now they're out in a hallway.
A
How much crying can you do, though, to be honest?
B
How do we know he's.
A
But why are they following him? Get lost. Stop. I'm breastfeeding. But watch. Yeah, and the coach waves him off, but he had kind of a blunder in all the chaos. Did he come in for Halliburton or something?
B
Well, he started playing more and more minutes, and then Halliburton went out. So he played more minutes in a.
A
Game seven when everything.
B
Locked and loaded and they had won game six. So they had expectations. Win the championship. I didn't, you know, because I was sort of like, okay, the game's over. So I didn't watch the ending part, but I don't think he did anything wrong. I think he played balls out. I thought the guy was unbelievable as off the bench. He scored more points, more rebounds, more assists than anyone coming off the bench in the history of the NBA Finals.
A
Is that true?
B
So he was crying from joy?
A
No, because I know he got mobbed and he got caught up in a scrum under the basket and he lost the ball. And it was toward the end and that one, I was like, oh. And then I think he went back and something else happened. Like he got it stolen.
B
Was it close enough for that to have made it?
A
I don't think so, but I know that it just. I remember going, wow. Because I didn't. I'd look away and look up because it looked like it was getting over with, but I thought that he's going to think about that. And then when I saw him bawling. I don't even say crying. I say bawling one worse. I say, I go, I get it. That's game seven. And you do something, even though all the good he did, you just feel.
B
Like, I know the one thing about our. Our chosen career which can be emotionally violent. We get a lot of chances, you know?
A
Yeah.
B
There. That. That is tough. You may, as an NBA player, you don't know if you'll ever get back to the NBA Finals. So, yeah, a lot of props.
A
We both cry a lot off camera.
B
Well, a lot of times, after the podcast, a Lot of times I'm tearing up on camera.
A
Yes, you are.
B
I have a cry filter I can put on.
A
You cry because you think a joke doesn't work or we skip something doesn't work.
B
I rush Scooby Doo. I apologize for doing my Kermit the Frog Bill Gates impression. I think you need to go to a therapist. Doesn't he, Scoob? Yes. He needs help.
A
He seems a little off.
B
I'm doing him Yoda at this point. Go ahead.
A
Yeah, that was Yoda too. We interrupt Julie Bowen the whole time. I just saw one clip, and I was like, oof. She's on the other sister show Fly on the Wall. So that's what should be called Fly on the wall, so.
B
Well, people should be happy because our thing is to interrupt each other and interrupt our guests. Without it, where would we be?
A
Yeah, someone put in the comments on YouTube. Stop interrupting. Julie and I go, why start now? That was actually. It's Nick Schwartz, and that idiot wrote that.
B
Well, I would just say there's a very fine line between a spirited conversation, because you don't want the air to get out of the bloom, where you're not responding in the moment. Because if I'm talking to you at a restaurant and you say, I have a flat tire, and also I go, wait a minute. You got a flat tire? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait till you hear the next part. So it's. It's organic and human to interrupt.
A
Well, I wrote back with someone and said they go, you're not a great interviewer. I go, we're not really interviewing. We're just bullshitting with someone that we like, and we're all talking.
B
It's a conversation. It's not a straight up, you know, 60 Minutes interview.
A
Yeah, it's not Barb Walters. All right, well, we got out of that one. That was pretty good. Okay, so what's the next story? Oh, okay. So here's what happens. This lady gets porch pirated so many times, she fills her box with black widows and then just says, whatever happens, happens. This guy gets it. Now he wants to sue her. This is what black widows do. Heather.
C
Texas man is fighting for his life. A little extreme after he stole a package off of a woman's front porch, only to go back to his car, open it up and see. See that? It was full of black widow spiders. This woman was tired of this man coming by and packages before she could get home from work. So she made a little package that was just for him. When he popped that package open in his Car, a bunch of spiders came flying out and they bit him all over his face. And then he started swelling up, nauseous, so he had to go to the er and then he called the police and would like to file a charges against her for setting up that booby trap set. So the police contact, and they're like, did you put a package full of black widow spiders out on your front porch? And she's like, oh, no, those black widows are my pets. Were you able to find them? I saw that they were missing and I just have them in a box because they, like in there while I'm at work. And the police were like, oh, this guy, he stole the box and then they bit his face and he whacked a couple of them, so they're no longer with us. And the woman's like, he killed my pets. That's completely unwarranted. I'd like to file.
B
Wow.
A
Crime of the cinch.
B
So was it somewhat credible that she left him on a box on the porch? She just said she set the trap. No pun intended.
A
Yeah.
B
Leaving the box. The guy took the box rather than she put him in the car.
A
Right. They put him by the door and these. And he took another box, steal everything.
B
And then he opened up and they attacked his face.
A
And that was like the sixth time he stole from her. So I mean, people just wait for the Amazon guy, Follow the Amazon guy up to your door and steal it. And no one, the Amazon guy can't. Is not going to gun him down. I mean, no one's doing.
B
My previous residence in West Hollywood, if there was a bag outside the gate or a package, broad daylight, gone. I'd give it less than a minute.
A
Wow, really?
B
Oh, yeah. I don't know. It's there, but anything. If. If someone had said, I left outside the gate, I go. They go. When all like 10 minutes ago, I go. I was gone. So the people trolling everywhere, following Amazon trucks and then right afterwards grabbing what they can.
A
And I think what happened is citizens are going to start fighting back. There's so much crime that goes unpunished that it will turn a little like wild west where people get shot, people get hit, people get beat up because by regular people, because they're just finally can't take it anymore. It's like when you see fights at McDonald's and stuff. People walk in, they're mad they don't have their sauce, they're mad they didn't do their order right, they climb over, start beating the shit out of employees. That's the most infuriating because these people are going to work trying, and the people that aren't working come in and beat them up and harass them and you go. And then the people inevitably get fired. And you go, how much shit can you take when you work at those places? And just. If everyone's on perfect behavior, it's a tough job. But don't go in there, make fun of those people. And they're up early trying to work and then get beat up, get spit on, get food thrown at them, and they got to deal with it.
B
They can't really fight back because I was a dishwasher and, and a busboy and a waiter when. When my rent was like a hundred bucks. And so the respect I have for people doing these jobs 40 hours a week. Not turning to a life of crime, but I think this spider thing might catch on. I think it's an actually bad idea. Good way to. To just.
A
Then she sued him. What a burn. Okay, next one. Let's see. Hold on, hold on. Oh, this is a. A fight. These guys are fighting with bull whips. It's a weird form of fighting.
B
Let's see. Oh, Indiana Jones, basically.
A
I can't hear the cracking.
B
Wow. They're whipping each other with. This is like an S M thing with bare chested.
A
It's a little sticky, but. Oh, wow. How much would that hurt? Shirt off. Whip.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
Oh. Can you hear it?
B
Yeah. Oh, he pulled down his pants and let him whip his. So what the. What am I looking.
A
Oh, that guy got popped. I. I don't know.
B
I.
A
It has to hurt way more than they're acting because the guy pulled down.
B
His pants and had him whip his ass. Did you see that? Did you miss that?
A
Yeah, I did see it, but maybe he likes it. I don't know.
B
I don't know what these guys like. I don't think this is a organized event.
A
I don't either. I don't know if this is Dana White's new thing or not. Oh, they're wearing goggles and lose their eyes. But how could. Yeah, I couldn't take that. I could not take that. If you jokingly hit someone lightly. It hurts so bad.
B
Yeah. I'm just thinking in terms of branding because they have. What do they call the thing where you get. You can free slap. What do they call that? Hit face or.
A
Oh, slap fight.
B
Slap fight. What would you call this? Whiplash or whip fight? Whip fight. It doesn't. It doesn't really, you know, because it's a bull Whip, Right. It's a big, leather strapping whip, and you're whipping the. Out of somebody with no shirt on.
A
Gay bar.
B
Whoops.
A
No, that's. No, but that guy did pull down his pants. I don't know.
B
That guy did pull down his pants. So we have some cred on this. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna apologize for this one.
A
No. All right, next one. Let's see. In 2006, psychiatrist asked, okay, this is just a random thing. How many patients have you cured? How many patients have you been able to cure so far? I would say one.
B
How many people have I cured? Well, there are no real cures right now in psychiatry.
A
You asked me about the issue about how many people I've cured. Yes. I don't know that any of us are sweating. Completely cured of anything. I have not. It's not a good ad for these psychiatrists.
B
As long as they're going 400 bucks an hour. Hour. I'm okay with the bad, shitty record. If you owe for. Yeah, it'll be $400, you know?
A
Still no cures?
B
Still. No.
A
There's a lot of. There's a lot of maybe medicine, but. Yeah. I don't know if. I mean, people tell me to go to one, obviously everyone I've ever dated, and they go, go to a psychiatrist or. And I say, oh, okay. And they go, I've got a great one I've been going to for 13 years. I go, well, that already. It's like when you go to my chiropractor, I've been going for 27 years. I said, I don't know if. So no one's getting actually fixed.
B
No one's getting fixed. I do think it's, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy is at least not curing. But it's like, instead of doing this, do this. Instead of thinking this, think this. Should I tell this person to fuck off? And, yes, and then you do it. So that's actionable, but sort of. My dad said this, my mom. I. I don't know. I don't know. You can change someone's brain.
A
I. You know what? It's weird because I went to one and I was talking a lot, obviously per my brand, but they just listened the whole time. And after the third time, I go, where are the. Are the fixes? You know? No, no, just talk. I'm like, are you even awake? Like, are you. Are we gonna do a whole season of me talking? And at the very last episode, you tell me what you think or how does it work? There's no. I thought there'd be more back and forth, and I think that's right. I think that's wrong. Why don't you think about it like this? And. Because I would say I think I'm maybe out of line on this thinking. And they're like, when. Why do you think that? I'm like, well, I'm looking for you. I already think what I think it's.
B
Like comedians, you know, it's a scalability. I mean, some therapists, you know, I tried a few, and then I found one that I thought was helpful because it was so in your face advice. But, you know, I don't know. I. I don't know. It's kind of like a scam. And I guess in a way, I. I knew someone who. That was trained to be a psychologist or therapist. She said her first day of therapy, a guy came in and said, hey, man, I've been here for almost 45 minutes. I. I don't get a banger. If I don't get a banger the next two minutes, I ain't coming back. That's what he's on. Our very first patient.
A
What does it mean?
B
I mean, some kind of big Mount Rushmore sort of epiphany thing.
A
Yeah, that's it.
B
Yeah. So I need a banger, man. You're sitting here bullshitting me, charging me 400 bucks an hour. I need a banger.
A
Yeah. Too many singles. Give me a home run.
B
That's what I think sometimes, you know when I'm in. In the wings and you're doing stand up. Yeah. I'll just turn to the crew and go, he needs a banger, man.
A
That's what the audience says to each other.
B
No, you kill all the time.
A
Bring Dana back on. Okay, let's do one. Let's do more. Come on. Not. Not one more more. Oh, Dana, we haven't done any noises lately.
B
I know.
A
Hey, why would AI do this? This sounds mean. AI creates obese.
B
Well, AI just does as it's told. Right?
A
I know, but there's so many other things you can make. AI this. This is. That's not fake, is it?
B
Well, that's. AI.
A
Had to bring that out.
B
There's never been a more appropriate use of that sound. I mean, AI is cruel.
A
AI is really not like a friend.
B
Who's the person who thought of that? Hey, guess what? Shut up, Brian. Let's go. Let's tell the AI to make an obese woman go backward of a high dive building collapse.
A
You're exactly right. Because everyone says I'm really good at AI of chat GPT of AI. And really, they go, hey, put Joe Dirt doing fireworks as a baby. And then it looks funny. And you go, all you did was say it. And then AI did all the work. They find the script, they find me, they make it. But they go, look what I made. I go, that's not really Michelangelo there.
B
I. I've. We've probably taught this before. The writings on the wall. I think within a two or three years, I could make Apocalypse now by prompting an AI back and forth. And you'll. It'll look like helicopters and armies. And that's right around the corner. So I don't know what Hollywood's gonna do with that. When you could. You don't need to get thousands of people out on the thing. And you could say a thousand people on horseback, you know, going full speed across the desert. And then you'll see it and it'll look just like a movie. Perfectly real.
A
Someone's gonna send us AI Scooby and Shaggy and Iran.
B
I don't think we should have vacationed in Tehran, Scoob.
A
Why not?
B
Well, Trump's the bunker buster on Forlon Mountain. You know, I had a bunker buster.
A
At Pincho's Tacos the other night.
B
I think you have a better Scooby than me. I call it Shaggy.
A
I'm doing Scooby and Shaggy.
B
Well, everyone knows, don't they'll the age of that it. Casey Kasem did Shaggy.
A
Yeah, that's right.
B
And. But he did do the hook of cracking because he talked like this. I don't know. We got to get out of here. Scope. That kind of gear he went to.
A
That was, you know, Heather. You didn't know it till just now. Oh, Heather just woke up. That's a good one to know.
B
Heather has our schedule for when we record these things. And then she puts nap time right next to it.
A
She goes, you ready? Open laptop. Cover her face.
B
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A
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B
Nexgard plus packs a whole lot of powerful protection into one tasty chew, making monthly dosing easy and enjoyable for both of you. Use with caution in dogs with a history of seizures or neurologic disorders. Dogs should be tested for existing heartworm infections prior to starting a preventive so the next time you're at the vet, ask about next card plus choose.
A
Okay, what's the next one? Bunker buster.
B
Okay, here you go. A bunker buster.
A
This is a bear doing something. I don't know what. Let's see. Russians get along with bears, I think, more than regular people.
B
Oh, they wrestle them. They fight them.
A
Okay. But this bear is real. It's not AI. Hey, have a little Slim Jim. Now do the trick we talked about so he can stand. Gives him a treat, sniffs the bit. He's like.
B
And then.
A
Am I a clown to you? He's like, do it. We're filming.
B
What does he want?
A
He's doing good so far.
B
Oh, wow.
A
Standing up is he looks like a person.
B
That is cool.
A
That's pretty good.
B
Wow.
A
He's biting it. It's like a hula hoop looking thing. There's no way. He's got it around him.
B
He's gotta. It's like a hula hoop. He's gonna do it like a hula hoop. And then.
A
I don't think so. He's fighting a hula hoop.
B
There we go.
A
Oh, my God.
B
Around his neck.
A
Heather's worried that the bear doesn't like. No.
B
Immediately wants to give him a treat, otherwise he'll kill him.
A
I know Russian. He's saying, I will kill you if you don't do the goddamn hula hoop.
B
Yeah.
A
All right. Take a five. You did great.
B
Got it. If only humans are like that, they're acting crazy. Just give them a little treat. Come on. Calm down. Oh, the show is. Is going nowhere. Lo. Lauren, please have a little bit of candy. Oh, Marcy.
A
Lauren. Step into a Slim Gym.
B
Down to making noise.
A
That bear's back in his dressing room going, we got two more shows today.
B
Well, it is amazing. What animal can't. Could you give a great white shark a treat and kind of hang out with it?
A
What animal petting sharks the other night, Dana, and I was like. I was like, wrong. I was like, no, I was like, this wrong. Issue number four. Let's do McLaughlin next week. Everyone wants you.
B
Do they want. I'll do any of the oldies, man.
A
Yeah.
B
Thank you. Number one, David Spady Spudloss.
A
More tone. Teeny tiny tunes on tv. Yeah, that's a real one.
B
Can we play some of our SNL greatest hits on this or is it copyright even if we get a permission from Lauren?
A
I don't know if I gave it Marcy. Okay, next one. Let's see.
B
Next one, issue one. Girl with jacket on with a green. What will the story be about green.
A
Let me look what it's about. Act of restraint. That will be remembered for centuries. I hope this is funny. Let's see.
B
Okay.
A
Okay. She's eating. Oh, eating in front of her dogs. Her dogs. Look at her spaghetti. They really want it. Yeah, that one really. Oh, he's making a funny face. He really wants it. Look at the white one's teeth.
B
He's mad, but he's kind of tilted away as he growls because he's been.
A
Taught not to eat it.
B
Oh, they're just growling at the owner.
A
I don't even know if I need this loud piano. If the dog was playing the piano, it'd be a little better. Yeah, we can turn the volume off on this.
B
It's kind of funny. I mean. So she puts the food down and then she says, don't eat it. They start kind of turning away from each other and growling with their teeth.
A
Because they're so mad they can't eat it. They're like, where is this chicken and why can't we eat it?
B
They don't understand so what was going to happen if they eat it?
A
I mean, she just changes a bit.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
We bring out the two guys.
B
The two guys come out of a closet door. Come on, Clam. Don't make me drop my trousers.
A
Here's my buttocks. You want to try again? Nope, missed it.
B
I don't feel your lacerations. Clam.
A
Look out, funny boy.
B
I injected myself with button right before we started this here rodeo dance.
A
But numb.
B
But numb. I'm doing something you might have done. And I got wiener numb, too.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
So whack away, cowboy.
A
Try these buttocks.
B
No, that was. That was part of Brokeback Mountain. Remember when Jake Gillig. A little. They had a kind of a fight.
A
I didn't see that movie.
B
Dana, you never saw Broke Back. It actually is a great movie. And you. There's a lot for you to learn by watching it, so check it out.
A
I'll see the one with Margot Robbie and Sydney Sweeney. Scissor Mountain.
B
It's funny how it quickly. The culture moves. Like Margot Robbie and Sydney Sweeney. They're fairly recent, but they're like Raquel Welch or Elizabeth Taylor going back to the 60s.
A
It's a good recognizable name. And city Sweeney is a good showbiz name.
B
Well, for at least two years of her being on the scene, because her name was Sydney Sweeney, I just assumed she was British, because Sweeney.
A
It just sounds Sweeney Todd. Okay, I've got a good.
B
I'm sweet. I'm Sydney Sweeney.
A
You know, I've got a good buster for you. We should go to. We'll go to the phones that we don't have, but we'll go to the YouTube. Who's a bigger star right now? Sydney Sweener or Zendaya?
B
What movies is Harrison Dia? Who's that?
A
Sydney Sweeney or Zendaya? Zendaya is in Euphoria with her.
B
Oh, oh, I see.
A
Came out a little bigger than Sydney on Euphoria. She's in Dune. She's in Two Dunes. Huge movies.
B
She is absolutely great, first of all.
A
Absolutely great, but gorgeous.
B
Sydney Sweeney. It's a. In our culture, is it the boobs?
A
The difference?
B
The her. Her whole look and the boot. I mean, women like to look at women, not necessarily in a lesbian way, but they like. So her physicality is sort of the latest. They would, they would call them pin up girls and tight sweaters. She doesn't go back 40s, so she has this playful fun thing. They're completely different talents. Yeah, but if she was a British girl, she say, stop it, Mr. Henderson. Every time you're teaching me, you're looking at me boobies. If Sydney Sweeney was. Was British, quit looking at me. Knocking.
A
What's a good old. What is it from Four Weddings and a Funeral or something?
B
Well, who was that? A British movie who was a sex symbol, male and female in the 90s. I mean Brad Pitt just started or the 80s. Richard Gere was like a leading man. The women back there. Farrah Fawcett.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
You know, it's just the culture moves right now you're at the top of your game as a international comedian.
A
International.
B
20 years from now, who's going to be the next David Spade?
A
Well, it's everyone's goal. What? But Sydney Sweeney's and I are both huge stars, both considered gorgeous. Big careers. I don't know for sure. I cannot tell you.
B
Well, I'll tell you one thing. Margot Robbie. I was on a plane, watched a movie that didn't do well. God, who did it? It was sort of set in the 1930s. 1920.
A
No, I remember that one.
B
Remember that one?
A
Yeah. Babylon.
B
Babylon. I watched it and the movie had some flaws. I thought only that, that I think.
A
Brad's in it too.
B
Yeah, but she is so spectacular in the movie. I think the movie start came out so hot and I think a lot of people are like, what is going on? I sort of went with it because I knew what they were trying to do, you know, that sort of Sodom and Gomorrah but, yeah, she's so amazing in that movie that I might put her up there.
A
You might let her on the podcast in Hollywood. Yeah, let her on the podcast. You'll. You'll open the gates and let her on.
B
I would. I have in development a movie with Sendaya, Sydney and Margot.
A
Yeah.
B
And it's. It's.
A
It should be 9 to 5, and you're the bad boss.
B
Oh, I could be Dabney Coleman.
A
Yeah.
B
Get a short haircut, put a little mustache on, and be the office dick. Yeah.
A
Heather, who would you pick? I always thought Zendaya was bigger star, but I have to say, in the last year, I don't know, you really have.
B
That's a big.
A
That's a real thinker.
B
I think they have different.
A
They have a shared fan base. Yeah.
B
And they have separate fan bases as well.
A
Both pretty huge, though, I have to say. But I also saw Challengers, which she was good into.
B
Well, the one thing you find out sometimes is, like, you don't.
A
White Lotus. Yeah.
B
Doesn't sell. Selena Gomez. You're just going, oh, she's cool. She's great with, you know, Steve Martin or Martin short, and she sings and everything. Oh, she has a billion Instagram followers. I mean, who has the bigger following on social media between Sydney.
A
I'm gonna guess. Let's see what the numbers are. We're running some number.
B
Let's go to the tape.
A
Let's go to the phones.
B
Let's look at a clip to the tape there. Sydney right there with a low cut.
A
What do you want to guess? I guess Zendaya has.
B
I'm guessing Sindaya. Kind of a teen thing.
A
Oh, Sydney has 25 million.
C
This is Instagram.
A
Instagram is a DIA. Higher, lower. 178 million. There's our answer.
B
Whoa.
A
No one was ready for that.
B
No, I believe that Sendia. I don't know what their ages are, but sort of trends toward teenage girls in a way they.
A
They both do. You're saying Sydney has more dudes and.
B
A little bit older. I know they might be the same age, but I feel like she's kind of with. What's that guy? Glenn. Glenn. Shirty off. Glenn, shirt off.
A
Oh, she was. Oh, Zendaya was on it. Was it Disney? I didn't know. Oh was a Disney star. So she built up some fans. But I think Sydney came off of euphoria slower and then did. What'd you just say? She did a White Lotus, which is another monster. So she kind of gradually got up and then blew it wide open, but yeah. Glen Powell. Glenn Powell. Shirt off.
B
Yeah, that guy's fit. I would never put a shirt on if I look like him, ever.
A
I wouldn't own a shirt. I wouldn't do an ad for shirts. I wouldn't.
B
I wouldn't even look at a shirt. If you wore a shirt, I'd try to take a swing at you.
A
I'd barely wear pants. You'd have to talk me into it. All right, let's do another one, then we'll get out of here.
B
Let's do another Hollywood one.
A
Yeah, we're killing it. We got a lot of takes. Okay, this is what consumers. Okay, let's just see what this is. I don't even know what it is. Oh, is it a scene from Scarface? Is it a play? Oh, it's a play.
B
Play.
A
Yeah.
B
You do coke and you kill people. That's wonderful, Tony. I got a junkie for a life. Okay, cool.
A
Play. Look at that.
B
I'm trying to. I mean, is this real? Why would the.
A
This is a play. I like that. Cocaine is popcorn.
B
I know, but why would they. Let them swear. But it's hysterical.
A
Look at you. That's you.
B
Oh.
A
Oh, I didn't know. I forgot about that part. That's pretty heavy.
B
I know. There's a lot of shoes.
A
That's the girl with the crazy hair.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
The sister that's just.
B
Oh, yeah. He had a whole weird thing for his sister.
A
Look at the security cameras. That was. Wow. Oh, that's his gun. Oh, my gosh.
B
Here goes. The best for a player.
A
Say hello to my little friend. Cockroaches.
B
Take that, you cockroaches.
A
Oh, God. They got a lot of extras.
B
I want to go to. I want to go to a time machine and have that be me in fourth grade.
A
I want to see. See this play. Where's Michelle Piper?
B
We had to do Dr. Dolittle.
A
Look at. Help him with his gun, bring him in, you know, gun him down with a flamethrower. Whatever he does. Oh, no. This guy's gonna get him. Tony's still dying.
B
He's gonna.
A
He's dancing or something.
B
He lasts a long time. They gotta shoot.
A
Unreal. He walked up because he could not miss that last shot because that was the closer.
B
Seriously, what school lets the kids go? What the you want, man? Hey, look at me, man. Say hello, hello to my little friend.
A
You pulls out a squirt.
B
So someone's asking, was that in America? I don't know, because I think. I think he's come from coba. I want my. I'm a political prisoner. I want my human rights.
A
That was Brentwood School. I just.
B
It's just in Brentwood High.
A
Yeah. Beverly Hills High.
B
God, can you imagine how much fun those kids have? Swearing with fake guns and everything? Oh, my God.
A
And there. And they, like, get free reign. You can say it because he's like, my character says it. Hey, how about some panocho? They're like, well, that's not in the script.
B
Well, they're taking the script from the movie. I don't think it was a play ever. It should be a Broadway play. And I know who's going to play Tony Montan, man.
A
Oh, I like this clip because it lit. Lit up the Tony inside of you.
B
That's what I do, man. Look, you like to get on a. Get on a computer and do a show. You call that Fly on the Wall? Used to call that super fly. Super fly.
A
Fly away.
B
Like a little birdist, man.
A
That little kid had to go like this. You want some popcorn? You want some popcorn?
B
Popcorn.
A
That was the cocaine. You want some popcorn? You don't take my popcorn.
B
Don't take my popcorn, man.
A
All right, let's end on that one. That's so funny.
B
It's so cool. Yeah, that was great.
A
All right, we did great.
B
We did a great one. Who sent the clips in?
A
Yeah, everybody, thank you. And everyone, thanks to us especially. And thanks to Dana for being friends. And let's. We'll see next week. So now you can write in Fly on the wall@odyssey.com questions, goofiness, or, you know, audible stuff we can answer. And then this is the first one we did that came on. On a Monday. Is that right? Okay. All right, great. We did great. Okay, thanks everybody, and thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next time.
B
Thanks for sharing. See you later, buddy.
A
Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, Give us review 5 star rating, and maybe you can share an episode that you've loved with a friend.
B
If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.
A
Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung Kaiser and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.
B
Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by.
A
Phil Sweet tech booking by Cultivated and explained team.
B
Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney and Lauren Vieira.
A
Reach out with us. Any questions to be asked and answered on the show, you can email us@flyonthewalldecy.com that's a U-A C-Y I dot com.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade – Episode Summary: "Sydney Sweeney vs. Zendaya?! And Russian Trained Bears"
Release Date: June 30, 2025
Hosts: Dana Carvey and David Spade
Presented by: Audacy
Dana Carvey and David Spade open the episode with their trademark banter, discussing their active lifestyles and humorous takes on daily routines. They set the stage for an episode filled with stories, jokes, and insightful commentary on current events and pop culture.
The hosts delve into a satirical discussion about a fictional scenario where former President Trump drops a bunker buster on Fordo Mountain. They playfully exaggerate the consequences, blending real-world tensions with absurd humor.
Dana and David share amusing anecdotes from their trips, particularly their experiences dining at Chili’s. They recount interactions with overly enthusiastic restaurant staff and a humorous encounter involving a character resembling Scooby-Doo.
The conversation shifts to sports, focusing on the Indiana Pacers' Game 7 loss. They discuss T.J. McConnell's emotional display post-game, analyzing his performance and the team's dynamics with both empathy and humor.
The hosts explore an unusual incident where a woman retaliates against persistent porch pirates by leaving boxes of black widow spiders. Dana and David debate the legality and ethical implications of such measures, reflecting on societal responses to rising crime rates.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to comparing two rising stars: Sydney Sweeney and Zendaya. Dana and David discuss their respective careers, social media influence, and cultural impact, highlighting each actress's strengths and fan base.
Continuing their celebrity discussion, Dana and David analyze the social media followings of Zendaya and Sydney Sweeney. They examine which actress holds greater sway among fans and the implications for their future career trajectories.
Shifting gears, the hosts humorously critique the rise of AI in content creation. They speculate on the potential of AI to replicate complex movie scenes and the impact this technology might have on the entertainment industry.
Dana and David conclude the episode by encouraging listeners to submit questions and share their thoughts. They emphasize the interactive nature of the podcast and express gratitude towards their audience, promising more engaging content in future episodes.
Humor Meets Insight: The episode masterfully blends humor with insightful commentary on a range of topics, from geopolitical satire to celebrity culture.
Engaging Storytelling: Dana and David's storytelling keeps listeners entertained while providing thoughtful perspectives on current events and personal anecdotes.
Interactive Format: The hosts actively engage with their audience, inviting participation and fostering a sense of community among listeners.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
David Spade on Bunker Buster Scenario:
"Some people think the damage was minimum. Others think it was severe. We gotta get out of here." [03:19]
Dana Carvey on Restaurant Staff:
"They just play it cool with staff and not see anyone. It's like they're saying, hey, I'm the assistant night floor manager." [07:22]
Dana Carvey on Emotional Sports Moments:
"That's completely unwarranted. I'd like to file." [22:17]
David Spade on Creative Deterrents:
"I think the spider thing might catch on. It’s an actually bad idea." [24:54]
Dana Carvey on Celebrity Careers:
"Zendaya is in Euphoria and Dune, but Sydney is making her mark with White Lotus." [43:20]
David Spade on Social Media Influence:
"Sydney has 25 million on Instagram versus Zendaya’s 178 million. That's our answer." [45:40]
Dana Carvey on AI in Entertainment:
"If you could prompt an AI to make Apocalypse Now, that’s right around the corner." [31:35]
Dana Carvey on Episode Wrap-Up:
"We did a great one. Who sent the clips in? Thank you, and see you next time." [51:01]
This episode of Fly on the Wall showcases Dana Carvey and David Spade's unique ability to blend humor with meaningful discussions, making it a must-listen for fans of comedy and insightful entertainment commentary.