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David Spade
There's a movie I'm watching right this moment that you have seen that I am really digging. It's so called Saturday Night. Now listen, we were both on Saturday Night Live. It's about the first episode. I didn't really know what it would be exactly. And it's really sharp. It shows where everything went wrong. I didn't know 99% of this stuff. I actually recognized people in there that were still working. Herb Sargent. Is it Audrey Pert? Dickman. Is she in there?
Dana Carvey
She was in there in that time.
David Spade
This thing has got quick lines, a lot of funny throwaway lines, and you get to meet every important character that they didn't know it. That was the last night they were not famous. That was very interesting to me.
Dana Carvey
It shows you what a wild ride they took on that first show. It barely gets on the air. The cast is maybe smoking funny cigarettes. It's a looser, weirder environment. It's all done in a set that looks like 8H. It gave me goosebumps, it teared me up. It's very emotional when you think about it. Good Lord, it's still on now.
David Spade
Critics love it. They say it's wild, entertaining. One of the best movies of the year. Certified fresh to cast. You know, Dylan O'Brien, Willem Dafoe. I love, of course, J.K. simmons, Lamorne Morris, Gabrielle Labelle, Finn Wolfhard, Corey, Michael Smith, Kaia Gerber, Nicholas Braun. So, you know, grab some buddies. If people, they know snl, they don't know it. You can. This is how it all started.
Dana Carvey
And by the way. And by the way. And guess what, they're all playing, you know, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, you know, Garrett Morris and so forth and so on. And J.K. simmons does a hilarious cameo as Milton Burrow.
David Spade
There's Johnny Carson calls them.
Dana Carvey
Johnny Carson calls them. Yeah.
David Spade
That was crazy.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
I can't believe. Kid, get your shit together.
David Spade
We're always looking for punch up guys when this collapses. It's available to buy or rent on digital now. It's rated R. Saturday night.
Dana Carvey
David. And comedy fans, I assume you are a comedian and a comedy fan. Guess what? And by the way, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour. And you know what, David? You can get tickets to see them live near you. You're going to laugh with some of the biggest names in comedy. Otsuko Okotska.
David Spade
Yep. We got Sebastian Maniscalco, who's friend of the show. Got Santino, Andrew Santino, of course, Brian Regan. Yeah. Brian Regan is Great. Chelsea Handler and Dane Dane. We have just recently. Swartzen, Nick Swartzen, Nick Swartz, buddy of ours, Sarah Silverman.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. So it's a great list of comedians that LIVE Nation is presenting to you. So don't be square, be there.
David Spade
All kinds of shows, all kind of venues, all kinds of comedy. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.com comedy.
Dana Carvey
So Tiffany Haddish is a fantastic guest to have on a podcast. She's full of energy, a lot of funny stories, laughing all the time. And one of the highlights, I mean, she, she will, in this podcast break it down moment by moment. What happened when she was arrested for being asleep, I think in her Tesla or something. So I'd only anecdotally heard that. And the real story we get to hear, you'll get to hear on this podcast about what happened. And it's completely innocent. It's not what you think it is. So that's something to stay tuned for.
David Spade
It's a big story that got out there and then, you know, she doesn't really talk about it, but she did talk about it. She was a lot of fun. I've known her here and there throughout the years and we asked her about Girl's trip and how it sort of catapulted her to the next level of fame, which is a weird thing for people. And she will explain why it's weird. A lot of people don't know it, they just say it's weird. But getting famous quickly, more rapidly is very hard. Yes.
Dana Carvey
And suddenly you're getting money and again, you just learn, which is you need to learn early on the difference between what you're told, like the gross amount and the net amount. It's not a complaint, it's just a reality. So it kind of takes your breath away. And then also where, where she lives and where just a lot of people are interested in maybe getting a loan, stuff like that. She talks all about personal stuff. She's just, she's, she, she's very open about her life and it's very likable, very full of very funny.
David Spade
Yeah, we laughed a lot. I will say we did laugh a lot. She did crack me up and I'm glad she did it. We just, I haven't seen her much lately and it was just a great, you know, sometimes these are just good one hour hangouts with people and we hope you like hanging out the way we did.
Dana Carvey
Yes. I was so punchy toward the end that everything she said started to make me laugh. She was just struck me as a very funny person. And the first time I worked with her before she made it big, I thought, damn, she should be a star.
David Spade
Yeah, well, you talk about it, she opened for you somewhere. So here she is, Tiffany Haddish.
Dana Carvey
Can I tell a nice Tiffany Haddish story right now?
David Spade
Yeah, we're going. We're going.
Dana Carvey
It's only. Only 20 seconds. So. So we're doing the Secret Life of Pets, you know, whatever, promoting it. We're going to watch it preview or something. So I'm there with family and my wife's nieces. And her one niece sees Tiffany and flips it out like starstruck. Can't believe it that she's there. And then my wife just sort of mentioned it. Tiffany. And Tiffany came over and gave Audrey. We have a picture of it. This gigantic bear hug. And it really is an indelible memory. And it was so cool to hear about that.
David Spade
That would not shock me.
Dana Carvey
Was nice. I was just. When you hear it, stuff like that.
David Spade
Yeah, it's very nice.
Dana Carvey
Anyway, that's my Tiffany Hadish story.
Tiffany Haddish
Good story. Good story. I'm so trying to hook these AirPods up to this damn computer.
David Spade
She's traumatized by this situation because.
Dana Carvey
Oh, you have to do tech.
David Spade
I like when people like to hear this part because stars are just like us.
Tiffany Haddish
You're a star.
David Spade
I am? Oh, yeah. No, no. I guess. Yeah, we. I guess we are.
Tiffany Haddish
People know who you are. They even know who you are in Africa, bro.
Dana Carvey
Really, babe, you are huge in Cameroon. Huge.
David Spade
Is there a funny bone down there? I'll go down there and play.
Tiffany Haddish
Not that I know of.
David Spade
Oh, I don't know where to do standup down there. But I'll go. I'll go. I don't go anywhere unless I'm famous. There's no way. Why would I go? But the name of my special should be they're just like us.
Tiffany Haddish
They're just like us. They're just like.
Dana Carvey
How about I'm just like you?
David Spade
I know, but that doesn't really hit the ear.
Dana Carvey
Well, it's a little self. Yeah.
David Spade
Because in US magazine they always say Tiffany Haddish was buying grocery. They're just like us. I'm like, well, yeah, that's what we all do.
Dana Carvey
Do you remember the song Too legit to Quit?
Tiffany Haddish
Yes. Too legit. Too legit. Who did that?
David Spade
Hey. Hey.
Dana Carvey
So what can't you do now? I know you can sing.
David Spade
That's Hammer.
Dana Carvey
I know you can.
Tiffany Haddish
You didn't. I have Songs that are out like I'm on. I'm streaming on Spotify and Apple.
Dana Carvey
All right, let's start with that.
David Spade
I.
Dana Carvey
We got our research. They didn't mention it. So what are you. I mean, I could tell just by you doing that you could sing.
Tiffany Haddish
Well, I'm glad you could tell.
Dana Carvey
How do your songs go about? Do you sit with someone and write them? Do you write them yourself in your head? How are you?
Tiffany Haddish
Well, I just recently released a song with Diane Warren. Her and I, we sat and rewrote.
David Spade
Oh, yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
She did most of the writing. I gave her the premise and what I want the songs to be about and why I want to make these types of songs. And so we got one that just came out called woman up, which I really think Kamala should have used in her campaign, but whatever.
Dana Carvey
And then the campaign's still early, so she. She listens to this podcast, I'm sure.
Tiffany Haddish
Well, Kamala needs to use the song warming up, so Woman up. That's inspiring. Not just for women, but for men as well. You know, you can't just be sitting in the bed and being all depressed and sad. You have to get up and get things done.
David Spade
I'm always telling Dana to woman up.
Dana Carvey
Well, man. Man up. Man up's been around quite a while. Yeah, it was about a time. Man up, woman up. And what would be the trifecta?
David Spade
And listen, Diane Warren is a huge, huge. One of the best songwriters of all time.
Dana Carvey
She's sitting at the piano. You're sitting with her.
Tiffany Haddish
No, it was just us in the studio just having conversations.
Dana Carvey
Just having conversations. Okay.
Tiffany Haddish
And then. And then I came back, like, two days later, and she had three songs for me. One called woman up, another one called you're so beautiful, and then another one called I want you, but I want you gone.
Dana Carvey
Oh, can I ask you a question? Did she have a melody track that you sang to, or did she have a scratch track? Or. She just says. She just. You just started. How did you.
Tiffany Haddish
Oh, well, when I came in the studio, she didn't have a scratch. Like a scratch, right? Like a sample of the song.
David Spade
She went. Does she want to hear you sing it all first? Just say, what do you got?
Tiffany Haddish
No, she didn't do that to me.
David Spade
She didn't. How does she know you're any good, though?
Tiffany Haddish
Probably because she came to some of my comedy shows, and much like you guys, I sing sometimes in my show.
Dana Carvey
Just little bits like, hey, audience, how you doing? I can sing. I can't.
Tiffany Haddish
I'll just randomly go, like, this is the song that doesn't end. Yes, it goes on and on, my friend. I'll do that one or I'll hit them with. Skinnamarinky dinky dink Skinnamarinky do I love you.
David Spade
Oh, you can hold that note.
Tiffany Haddish
Skinnamarinky do I love you I love you in the morning and in the afternoon and I love you in the evening Underneath the moon so. Skinnamarinky dinky dink Skinnamarinky do I love you. See you next time. I love you, too.
David Spade
Boop, boop, boop, boop. Oh, wow. That's like my clothes are a little bit.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's like 19, 1930s kind of feel to it. Or 50s.
Tiffany Haddish
Well, it was from 1980 something. 1970s from the elephant Show.
David Spade
Is it a real song?
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, it's a real theme song to a TV show that I used to watch as a kid, and my mom said that that was our family theme song, and if somebody was to come pick us up from school, they have to sing that song.
David Spade
Oh, that's a great idea.
Dana Carvey
Our family theme song was you're a loser.
David Spade
My mom said, if anyone picks you up, just go. Just go with them.
Tiffany Haddish
Now, our other family. You can't win now. You can't break even. And you can't get out of the game.
David Spade
No.
Dana Carvey
Is it famous?
Tiffany Haddish
Never saw the Wiz.
Dana Carvey
Oh, the Wiz. Oh, we just had Bowen Yang on who's in the movie? Isn't he? No, no, no.
David Spade
He's in the new one. Wicked.
Dana Carvey
Sorry? Wicked.
Tiffany Haddish
I'm talking about the Wiz, the black.
Dana Carvey
Oh, with Michael Jackson.
Tiffany Haddish
Yes.
Dana Carvey
Yes. Who else was in that? Diana Ross and who else? Okay.
David Spade
Or Nipsey Hustle.
Dana Carvey
He was great.
Tiffany Haddish
No, Nipsey Russell. Not Hustle. That's a friend of mine.
Dana Carvey
Great. Stand up.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Nipsey Russell.
David Spade
I used to laugh at Nipsey Russell on Match Game or something. He'd sing. He'd say poems for answers.
Tiffany Haddish
Yes, yes.
David Spade
Roses are red.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, he played Spin man in that.
David Spade
And then he did.
Tiffany Haddish
Jones was in it. And Richard Pryor was in the Whiz.
Dana Carvey
Oh, that's right.
Tiffany Haddish
Richard Pryor was the wizard.
Dana Carvey
You know, that's a good one. Prior, the thing about Dick Pryor.
David Spade
Oh, he did a movie with him.
Dana Carvey
I did do a movie.
David Spade
He's buddies with him.
Dana Carvey
I did a movie with. I did with Dick. And the thing about Dickie Pryor, it's called Moving mid ladies, late 80s, and he's moving his family across. And I'm. I'm Gonna drive his car. And I'm a schizophrenic, so I got to hang out with him. And. And the director said, Richard doesn't. He's not into it today. You know, can you get him going? I've only been in SNL one year. Like, I gotta get Richard going. So I was trying to get best.
David Spade
Comedian of all time to wake him.
Dana Carvey
Up, you know, and then he's just. But he was so sweet.
David Spade
Tiffany. I auditioned for moving and didn't get it and guess. And I was living in a house where Dana was living at the same house, too. I was renting a room and I was like, hey, good for you.
Dana Carvey
You know, I didn't know you for that part.
David Spade
Yeah, Dana, I got your. I was trying to get your scraps.
Dana Carvey
Okay. So, Tiffany, what.
David Spade
How.
Dana Carvey
How are you finding standup now? I just saw that you are on tour.
David Spade
Yep.
Dana Carvey
On standup always evolves. It always changes as the person changes. So what is it like now when you come out and they go crazy and then what. What's your. What's your. What are you feeling when you're out there now?
Tiffany Haddish
I always feel like when they go crazy when I come on stage, it's. It's wild because I still remember eight years ago when it would just be like, five people that go crazy because, yeah, that's the kind of following I had. Like, but the room would still be full, but it would be five people that know me, you know? Now everybody kind of knows who Tiffany Haddish is, and they're, like, going bananas. I want to cry. I always feel the urge. And then I say something kind of like, wild to them so that I don't cry. And then sometimes they'll keep clapping and I'm like, stop it. I'm gonna. Guys, because. Because I believe crying is a removal of old beliefs and a replacement of new ones. And I always feel like the audience is going to hate my guts before I get on stage. And then, like, once I touch. Once my first foot touches the stage, then it's like, that doesn't matter anymore.
Dana Carvey
Do you feel any pressure, though? Because just. I'll give you an example. If I'm trying to go to just a club to drop in, and I just barely have notes. I'm working out and. Ladies and gentlemen, he better get fast in your comedy safety belts. Here she comes. You know, it's like, there's Tiffany at it, you know, it's just like, ah, it feel. I. Feels like a lot of pressure. The bigger the room, you know, so you get the first laugh.
Tiffany Haddish
It's the, it's the small rooms that feel like a lot of pressure. It's the rooms that pop in and there's like six people there. That feels like a lot of pressure, feels like direct judgment because you can literally have a conversation with each one of those people in the room.
David Spade
There's something to those little small rooms. And a lot of comics are on the road doing theaters, but there's definitely something different about when you see their eyes and they're right up close and it's just that casual. You can talk to them like you're just talking at dinner and you're all just kind of a little group and you're just so. You can be so casual. And the big ones, you have to sort of put on a show. You have to play to this side and make sure they all hear you. And Anunzi, make sure that it's a little tougher. It's great.
Tiffany Haddish
Movements have to be bigger. Like, yeah, you know, like I do, like I make a lot of facial expressions when I talk. I think that's where a lot of my comedy lies. Like, I might say one word, but the, the face that I make that goes with it is like, that sells it, right? You're in one of those big old theaters and if they got like a whack ass camera or if there's no video, no video footage at all, then you got bigger. I'm like, oh, I'm making wrinkles trying to perform.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, this mistake I made the last special I did, I worked it out in clubs and then I was in a big theater and, and there were no screens or anything and it was very different. The bits I was working out in clubs are very small little stories and stuff. So. But it's fun to strut on a stage. I mean, Chris Rock is obviously the best at it as far as the physical movement back and forth. But yeah, it's a completely different sport than a little club.
Tiffany Haddish
Very, very different sport.
David Spade
When, when you were doing like stand up, stand up, stand up. And then you get something like girls trip, which is a big thing in your career. What, what is the change? Walk us through the change. Like that comes out. Obviously he's a big hit. You're a hit in a hit. What, what kind of are the things that you notice?
Tiffany Haddish
I immediately noticed that people that told me that I wasn't going to be anything that, you know, I should give up. You should just maybe get into modeling or get pregnant by a rich man and just give up on this, we're instantly like, I believed in you the whole time. I knew you could do it. And I'm just looking at them like they do. They think I have that niche. Do you think I forgot what you said to me?
David Spade
When you get offers and you get.
Tiffany Haddish
More attention, more offers, more attention, more free stuff.
David Spade
Phone rings. More free stuff.
Tiffany Haddish
My bills are bigger. I noticed my bills bigger. You know, things that were like, so cheap. Like a plumber, you know, the plumber comes to my house. I have a lead. It costs 150 bucks to fix. Now the plumber comes to my house. It's like, oh, just need to change the washer on the dang sink faucet. And that's 500. What?
David Spade
Yeah, we need to change your washer and dryer.
Dana Carvey
Famous person price kind of.
David Spade
Yeah, it is kind of that.
Tiffany Haddish
And then I'm like, okay, so like, I only keep pictures of myself in like this room. Right. Everything else is like in a box in a closet, like away. Because if I have someone coming over to do some work, I don't even be here. I have my assistant in here. Make. Make it like my. It's my assistant's house and it's so that I could get the regular price, the real price.
Dana Carvey
Smart.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah. Because I still live in South Central LA. I still live in a little, you know, 2,000 square foot house. Like, I'm not doing it super big or anything.
David Spade
Oh, that's cool.
Tiffany Haddish
I spend most of my clothes.
Dana Carvey
Are you.
David Spade
Stuff like that happens. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, Dana. I was saying when stuff like that happens and you do. Well, I think people think they hand you a million dollars the next day. You still have to. You do get offers, but then you have to go do them. Then you have to get paid. Then you get whomped taxes, then you get agent manager. People forget, like, it's really hard to build a ton of money. It takes a while.
Dana Carvey
The gross in the net and just by the way which you can talk to is your monologue was hilarious. I looked at today when you hosted snl, which you got the Emmy for, was all around this idea that everyone assumed soon as girls trip hit you're. You got 20 million in the bank. You know, I was paid the least.
Tiffany Haddish
Amount out of the girls, right. Because I'm the most unknown. And I didn't start seeing no real money till maybe a year or two after it came out, maybe a year and a half after it came out that I started making real money. And like I did the night school movie and they're like, they're going to pay you a million dollars. I'm like, yeah, awesome. This is great. And I'm thinking, yeah, a million dollars. But like you said, taxes hit. I don't got no kids, right. Then, then representative fees, that hits. And that's like bananas. Then you know, the appearance fee, clothing. So so I get do these appearances or these interviews. And they don't pay you to do the interviews or anything, but you have to buy clothes. You gotta pay for makeup, hair and all that. And by the time I paying for everything, you have a stylist, all that, you know, I got like maybe 250,000 left. And then I have black tax. And I don't know if you guys know what that is.
David Spade
I don't.
Dana Carvey
Nope. I want to hear though, there's some special black tax.
Tiffany Haddish
No, they'd be saying, oh, black women are so mad. We not mad. Or they'd be like, they impatient. We not impatient. We the most patient. It takes hours. This hairdo took, you know, hours, Looks great hours. I was very patient. Black tax, though, is when family members reach out to you for money and they expect you to give it to them. Because we come from the same uterus or, you know, our. We have the same grandma or we was in the same foster home. So you should give me this money.
David Spade
We're in the same town.
Tiffany Haddish
We're in the same town.
David Spade
It doesn't take much.
Tiffany Haddish
When I was homeless, didn't have nowhere to sleep. No, nothing. You wasn't checking for me? Yeah, that's all I ended up like on the Carmichael show, did they start like checking for me? Like, how you doing? What's going on? Can I hold five? 500. I need a whole 500. And then you like feeling a little guilty and you're like, yeah, here goes $500, right?
David Spade
You don't want to big time.
Tiffany Haddish
Them I give my taxes on pay back. They never pay you back.
David Spade
And then also they're getting it. They're getting it clean. Like if you gave someone five grand that you probably have to make 20 to clear five. And they don't sit. So you're basically giving them 20 and then they. They get a tax free five. And more than that, I've. I've been hit up, obviously from all sides. And it. They don't. They don't. No one thinks of that.
Tiffany Haddish
How do you handle it? How do you.
Dana Carvey
I don't. I didn't handle it Well, I have a lot of wisdom now. I think what you're talking about is really good. The, the, the, the thing that I learned, if you systemically give someone a check and they're healthy and young and can work, and you're systemically trying to help them make it, you know, or whatever, you will always write them a check the rest of your life. I think that in show business you want to, you want to be a little greedy with your money because you want to get to a point where, say, 10 years from now, you pick and choose the way you want to work and that to get net dollars saved. I know where this is. We know these are first world problems. Anyone listening? Um, but it's personal what we do. And so you don't want to have to do a diaper commercial at 60 if you can help it. So it takes a long time to get a big pile of money where you get to be free from in show business. All right, there's my. My two cents.
David Spade
So, yeah, I do the same thing. I think you. There's part of you that doesn't want people to be mad at you. There's part of you don't. You don't want them to think you're big timing them. And it's not that much in quotes. And if you could just. But you feel like you start buying friendships stuff, it's all bad, you know, I remember one time we were out with. I had a famous friend and he was going to dinner. We got an argument, and of course I said the meanest thing. It was his birthday, he was yelling at me. And I go, well, I wanted to be the actual friend at your party, but have a good time at dinner with your agent, publicist, manager, lawyer, and your whole team. You know what I mean? And it makes you think and go. They all had to go, you know, because it's his party and they got to show up once in a while. And I was just voluntarily going until we got an argument about it. But that was mean thing to say. But that same thing reversed with me. Like, you know, you have your friends and you don't know who's. So you feel dumb. Family members, my dad, you know, it's one of those where I don't know your family sitch. But my dad was deadbeat dad. And then he, of course he come buzzing around. And then of course I bought him a condo. Like it was just something. You just go, I want you around. I'm going to give you money to be around. Basically. So weird.
Tiffany Haddish
It's really weird. I spent a lot of money making sure my mom is okay. I got her out. Like that was my. One of my main.
David Spade
That's okay. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
I took care of my parents.
David Spade
That's what I do.
Dana Carvey
Yeah, that's different.
Tiffany Haddish
Make sure she got out of that mental institution. I get her the best doctors, the best like food, everything. Right. She's doing great. And that's when like, oh yeah, I'm glad I have this money. And I've spent crazy amount like crazy amount of money like nurses and all that. And what my grandmother, you know, she did so much for me growing up that I'm like, I got to do everything for her. So I'm like $2 million trying to keep her alive. And I probably was making it worse for her. Like I probably should just let her go the way she, you know, I know.
Dana Carvey
I've been there and done that. The numbers sound very familiar. Um, yeah, I, you know, I don't know where you're at of any sort of pinching yourself or any. I wouldn't use the word guilt or because you. There's hard knocks in your time on, you know, and so you're still in touch with that. I can tell completely. So just as your friend on the outside, just make sure you take care of yourself.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah. So now like when people ask me for money, I tell them, look, I really value our friendship. I really value our relationship. And I can give you this money. Now you're saying you're going to pay me back. You probably want that. I guess I am. Yes, I am. Okay, I'm going to give you this money. Okay. And if you don't pay me back by my birthday, then I've decided that we are no longer friends. We're no longer in a relationship.
David Spade
Big responsibility. Yeah. Do they want to take that on?
Tiffany Haddish
And if you want to take this money, you know, you value this money more than you value our friendship. I completely understand. Nine times out of ten they always say, no thank you. I'll. I'll get back to you if I really, really need it. Because they know they don't pay me back. Yeah, my friend, than it is to. For me to go away. I paid you.
David Spade
He told me if they ask for 10, give them five. They always pad in a skateboard and something else if they want.
Tiffany Haddish
Well, there's one relative asked me, said they asked me for $25,000. I was like, what made that in a freaking like, you want 5,000? Like, yeah, I need 25,000. I'm like, okay, wait, I just spent all this money. Make sure our grandma good. What do you need $25,000. Like I want to start taco truck. I'm like, but you can even cook. You can't even cook. Yeah, I'm gonna just get some Mexicans off about a Home Depot. They can cook and you know we don't have a taco truck. And I'll get you your money back within two months. I'm like long standing restaurants sometimes that are established for years, almost 7, 10 years are making $2,500 a month clearing.
David Spade
Yeah, it's so hard.
Tiffany Haddish
Please miss me with the please.
Dana Carvey
David, at this time of year I'm just going to say this and you can, you know, say whatever you want or of course maybe you're looking back on all the amazing memories you have from 2020, especially if you are in love. Maybe you already looking ahead to your plans in 2025. I'm doing a French accent.
David Spade
Good.
Dana Carvey
I'm doing a French accent because that's the language you love. And maybe, just maybe those plans involve getting engaged.
David Spade
Listen, for anyone about to take that momentous step, I recommend sourcing their engagement ring from blue nile.com. now I will say the closest I've been to being married is when my. When I engaged my abs at Pilates this morning I engaged my core.
Dana Carvey
That's like a good Johnny joke. The closest you've been to being married is when you engaged your abs at the.
David Spade
At the what Local station.
Dana Carvey
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
That's $50 off with code FLY@blue Nile.com Blue Nile.com Michelle? Nope. It's not about you. Just. It'll be a surprise.
David Spade
Well, that's good. You're doing good. And you're still out on the road. Is your is comic. Is stand up still your favorite thing or you still like.
Tiffany Haddish
It's my always going to be my favorite thing. It will always be. I can't go more than three weeks without doing standup and not start having, like, mental issues. Yeah, I have to get on stage.
David Spade
It's fun to get up and do a set. Especially if you live in la, you can. That's what scares me about people. Go, why don't you move here? The taxes are so bad. I go, I like la and I like that I have a few friends here and I like hanging out in the hall at the Comedy Store or something. I like just seeing a few comics and then you can pop on and buff out stuff. And you feel. Cause if you have a gig coming up where people are paying money, you want to be good and you're like, God, I'm starting to get scared to go on again because I just need to go on and feel it again. Just to feel it, just to get the organization because I owe these people. And it's fun anyway. Think of a new joke. Is fun. Everything's fun.
Tiffany Haddish
Whenever I'm stressed out, I head right to the comedy club. Even if I'm in another place, I'm like, where do they do comedy here? When I was in Africa, I was just in Africa and I'm like, oh, it's too much. Time is going by. We cannot do some comedy out here. Is there comedy here in Africa? There's a restaurant that you could go to that might have it. Go to this restaurant. And they don't even have, like, a real stage. It's like four benches pushed together in a boombox with a microphone. And I'm like, give it to me.
David Spade
How fun. How fun. It's like karaoke, basically.
Dana Carvey
How long were you in Africa? Was this a month long?
Tiffany Haddish
For a month? Yeah. I was there for a whole month and I went to three different countries. And I want to go to all countries that had their independence. You know.
David Spade
What are they? Dana, go ahead.
Dana Carvey
Chad, Tanzania?
David Spade
No, Morocco is That one of them.
Tiffany Haddish
I didn't go there. But I believe they have their independence.
David Spade
I'm trying to just name countries because I saw this on TikTok and people couldn't name any.
Dana Carvey
I'm just into world class distance runners. It would be Kenya. Ethiopia, Tanzania.
David Spade
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Go ahead.
Dana Carvey
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
David Spade
Look at Tiffany, just staring. Nope, nope.
Dana Carvey
I have a friend from. I know, from Cameroon.
Tiffany Haddish
They definitely don't have their independence in Cameroon. I don't. It is crazy in Cameroon right now. Like.
David Spade
I hear about Cameroon in the Olympics. That's about it, right?
Tiffany Haddish
Okay, well, South Africa has their independence.
David Spade
Okay, that's kind of a trick question.
Dana Carvey
Okay, assume so. They were owned by the Dutch.
David Spade
Oh, Zimbabwe, you said.
Tiffany Haddish
Okay, Zimbabwe has their independence. And you're right about Tanzania.
David Spade
Dana knew something about the Dutch.
Dana Carvey
Yes. And then my father in law was Dutch and he felt bad about some of Dutch colonialism. So I remember him talking about it.
Tiffany Haddish
Anyway, they told me, they told me, like, it's funny because I went to Israel this year. This year has been a year for travel for me. And I wanted to travel because I want to see more of the world and I want to have like, better understanding of the, the articles I read and the things that I see. And also like, I've read the Bible, I've read the Quran, I've read the Torah, I've read all these books in like, where's the religious capital of the world? Israel. This crazy stuff is going on right now in Israel. You know, should I go? Shouldn't I go? But I've been trying to go for years. But I've been busy trying, you know, connect. Collect my acorns. Yeah, I've been collecting acorns, you know, collecting my money, stacking my money.
David Spade
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
So I buy my ticket, I go and although there was, you know, there's this turmoil going on over there at the same time, I think it was a perfect time to go because there was no lines. I got, you know, people were coming up to me, happy to share information about the history of Israel. I learned so much. And then to see the things that I read about in these Bibles and the Torah and the Quran and all, to see things in real life gave me a whole nother perspective and really has elevated my comedy and my point of view on who I am as a person, who God is and all of that. Like, yeah, it was really. I think who believes in God should at least go to Israel one time.
David Spade
It's crazy. That's so interesting you did that.
Dana Carvey
I think it's great you're doing it. I mean, you've established your career, and then why not do a few things like that?
David Spade
You have an opportunity not many people have, and you take it.
Dana Carvey
Was it scary, I mean, flying into Israel? Because I know people go on USO tours and they go. They turn the lights off, go on at night, or they corkscrew down under enemy fire. It wasn't like that.
Tiffany Haddish
So, yeah, I've done USO tours. Like, in full war. There's a war going on and I've done tours. No, like, that was more scary because you could hear stuff from the airplane. You could hear. Like, that was more scary. Yeah, being on a big old commercial airline flying in was not scary. Coming through the airport, the airport was beautiful.
David Spade
I was like, it's kind of pampered. You don't really. Unless you know what's going on. If you were oblivious, you just think, I'm like, I'm on a great plane. I'm on a great hotel.
Tiffany Haddish
And you would think like, oh, wow, there's no lines here where, you know, it's nice. Barely. There's traffic, but it's not LA traffic. It felt like I was in California. The weather felt like California weather.
David Spade
Oh, really?
Tiffany Haddish
I found hot springs and like, just all this beautiful stuff. Like, oh, my God, I went to Masawa. I mean, not Massage Masala's in Eritrea, which is also very freaking beautiful. And they have their independence. But I went to Masada and I was like, is this where Jamie Masada.
David Spade
Got his name from the Laugh Factory?
Tiffany Haddish
Maybe, maybe who I consider like a dad. And I had to hit him up and he's like, oh, yes. I grew up around that area. And they say he's telling me all these stories, and I'm just like, well, I didn't even know you were from this part of the Middle East. I thought you were from another part. But okay, like, crazy, crazy.
Dana Carvey
Did you go. Did you travel with someone? I'm just curious.
Tiffany Haddish
I went by myself. And then what?
Dana Carvey
That's grown up.
David Spade
That's very grown up.
Tiffany Haddish
I went all by myself. And when I got there, I met up with a few people that I knew. So, like, Michael Rappaport was there. So that was. That was interesting.
David Spade
It's fun. Hang.
Tiffany Haddish
I'm sure my friend Matthew Siegel was there and one of the guys from. From Cheaters was there and we did some tours together. Stuff I did by myself. I wanted to find black people. That was my other mission. Like, where are all the black people? I know it's Got to be black. This is.
David Spade
Where were they in Israel.
Tiffany Haddish
Some black people here. Black people believe in Jesus. It got to be some black people. I found a bunch of the Eritrean, the Ethiopian and Eritrean Jews. I hung out with them, and then I found the largest diaspora, the largest immigration of black Americans anywhere in the world is in Israel, in Demona. And. And I kept telling everybody, I want to go to Damon. I want to go to. They're like, no, you shouldn't go to Demona. Why would you want to go to Demona? That's where they keep the secret weapons. The nuclear weapons are hidden in Demona. And I'm like, I want to go there. I want to go to Demona. Take me to Demona. Take me to the.
David Spade
Sounds interesting.
Tiffany Haddish
I got them to take me to Demona. And it felt like I was in the hood, but not in the hood, because, like, these. They look like black Americans when they speak English. Sound like black Americans, but then they speak fluent Hebrew, and they're like, all vegetarians all of a sudden. Like, their. Their kipoots was, like, so beautiful and so dope, and just. I was just like. It made me so proud to be a human. It just made me proud to be a black American Jew. It just made me so proud and happy.
David Spade
Did you. Were you well known?
Tiffany Haddish
Oh, yeah, I'm very famous.
David Spade
Oh.
Dana Carvey
All around the world.
Tiffany Haddish
All around the world. Internationally known. You know, it's funny, because I had prayed to God to, you know, give me a way to show these studios that I am internationally known and I could be in a film that's for international purposes, Right. And because I was told I wasn't internationally known enough, and then I took Beverly Hills.
Dana Carvey
You took a nap in Beverly Hills? What?
Tiffany Haddish
Took a nap in a car in Beverly Hills. Police came.
David Spade
Oh, that's right.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah, you took a nap in Beverly Hills.
David Spade
That's right.
Dana Carvey
It sounds like a chapter of a.
David Spade
Book that probably got worldwide pickup, baby.
Tiffany Haddish
I was so shocked. I was so shocked when I came home just a few hours later. How I was on ktla, NBC, cbs, fox, pbs, cnn. I was on espn. Bb. I was like, espn? I'm not even an athlete. The, you know, BBC World News. I'm like, yeah, like, this is kind of awesome, yo. Like, I prayed for a way to show the studios. I didn't know it was gonna be like this, though. It was on African World News and went. When I went to those places, when I went to Israel, when I went to Africa, everybody brought it up. So do you want Alcohol? No. Are you good?
David Spade
Do you want a car to sleep in?
Dana Carvey
Let's get alcohol. I seen she falls asleep in car.
David Spade
Oh, that's what you like.
Dana Carvey
Yes, she likes.
Tiffany Haddish
We know you love vodka. You love vodka.
David Spade
You love it so much. That's all.
Dana Carvey
Even for sleeping car. We love everything about you, Mr. Finn Hardish. No, I don't. I don't know what accent that is, but sounds good. What. What was that story? Do you want to tell it? All I know is the broad strokes. You fell asleep in a car and you're fine.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah. So basically, I was serving food to the homeless all day at the Laugh Factory. Every year during Thanksgiving, they do that.
Dana Carvey
Okay, I go.
Tiffany Haddish
We served almost 3,000 people food and jokes, performed on almost every show. And I left there. And that morning, I Woke up at 6am and put a pot of collard greens on, like, cook this food for my family. And so I left from the lab factory, went home, got the pot of collard greens, got the turkey, two turkeys. Went to my family's house, served them. And then I got a call from a friend that lives in Beverly Hills, in Bel Air. The chef, they had to fire the chef. And the food is. They don't have any food. Do I have any leftovers? And I was like, let me see. Let me check with my family. Everybody had made their Tupperware, and I was like, yeah, I got leftovers. They said, can you bring us. I can't be there until like 10. They're like, fine. I brought leftovers. They. They ate it all. They were like, this is the best gre. Best turkey. Best, best, best, best. And then I had. I did have a drink or two. I had probably two drinks. Yeah, I did. I finished one. I didn't finish the second one. I fell asleep on the couch because I was exhausted. Right. You know, something like that is being of service. Nothing.
David Spade
Years too much.
Dana Carvey
Oh, yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
I woke up, somebody was like, this lady was like, you can sleep here. Sleep here.
David Spade
Oh, she's doing something sexy.
Tiffany Haddish
And I was like, I'm leaving. You're not gonna have me in the news ten years from now talking about something. I feel violated. Nope, I'm leaving. So I took some other people felt uncomfortable too. They wanted to leave too, so dropped them off at home.
David Spade
Oh, a drop off.
Dana Carvey
Okay.
Tiffany Haddish
More work, people off.
Dana Carvey
This is exactly what I thought would happen before this incident. Go ahead.
Tiffany Haddish
My Tesla. In my Tesla, put it on pilot because I knew I was tired. And you know, the Tesla, the way it's set up, your eyes Closed. If your hands are off the steering wheel too long, it will over in such a way to get you help because it thinks that you have, you know, something's wrong.
David Spade
Incident. Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
So it pulls over. So at parked perpendicular to the sidewalk as opposed to parallel, and had my ass out in the street. It wasn't at a light or anything like that. And I had been there for quite some time because the car had turned off. The police thought I was dead in the car because I was like this. They said I was slumped over the steering wheel. To me, that means you're like, what, like you leaned over?
David Spade
Yeah, yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
I was just sitting in my head with them, and they thought I was dead because I didn't respond to them knocking on the window or whatever. And so the ambulance was there, and I heard them talking. I heard talking. Oh, I opened my eyes and looked over, and I was like, oh, she's alive. She's alive.
David Spade
Scary people just say, you don't even know where you are.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
I was like, oh, damn. And then I thought that was another prayer being answered because I had prayed to God to send me a handsome man with his own career that, you know, I didn't have to be like that. He could tell me interesting stories. So I'm thinking, oh, this is sending me my. My prayers. And they started asking me questions about drinking, and I was just like, you know what? Like, just take me to the police station. Let's just go to police station. Because that's what I've learned, you know, just, you know, blowing that breathalyzer. Don't do BJ's in the streets.
David Spade
I'm sorry, what?
Dana Carvey
So your prayers were answered because the resting officer was very handsome. Is that what you meant? I'm sorry. Did I miss that?
Tiffany Haddish
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Dana Carvey
So you wanted to hang out.
Tiffany Haddish
So was the EMTs that, you know, took my vitals and said my blood pressure was normal. I was like, good. I've been working on that. That's great. I got a phone call, I got an 800 physical, and, you know, thousands of dollars in some community service on, you know, letting these studios know that I'm internationally known.
David Spade
Yeah. Nice.
Dana Carvey
Was this ever really explained in the media what you just told us?
Tiffany Haddish
No. That I blew a 0.03. No.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. And then you were just. Just purely exhausted. You were in AI car that assisted you.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, that saved my life. Potentially saved my life.
David Spade
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
And I'm so grateful. Like, you know, I know a lot of people don't like Tesla or whatever, but I appreciate and I'm grateful that that car exists.
David Spade
What it's trying to do. Yeah, it's a good.
Dana Carvey
So you. You blew a.03.
David Spade
That's not illegal.
Dana Carvey
That's like one drink. That's. That's totally legal. 0.08.
David Spade
What is it used to be. Used to be one.
Dana Carvey
0.08 is not. You're not slurring or falling down.
Tiffany Haddish
I wasn't slurring then either.
Dana Carvey
No. No. And yet it went global. What was the head. What was the headline that did it? Did we like shocked. What did it say?
Tiffany Haddish
Arrested for another DUI in the first dui, which I'm. I want a hearing for. I want to try. I want a trial because I was walking into my house.
Dana Carvey
Oh, weed is illegal.
David Spade
Weed is.
Dana Carvey
Isn't weed legal?
Tiffany Haddish
And not in Georgia.
David Spade
Just wait long enough till weed's legal everywhere and then go to trial. Weed is really. Doesn't hit the air ear as something scary anymore. It's like people just go, huh, we do have bigger fish to fry these days.
Dana Carvey
No, even Trump wants it to be legal for personal use in Florida, I think.
Tiffany Haddish
I think tobacco should be illegal. That kills more people.
David Spade
That's the one that. Yeah, I mean, let's. I mean, if we're really getting into.
Dana Carvey
It, it's true as far as mind altering substances, there's nothing even close to cannabis. It's the, it's the most benign by a million fold. No one's ever overdosed on cannabis.
David Spade
And Snoop's president. It'll. It'll change.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, Snoop.
Dana Carvey
Drop it like it's hot.
David Spade
Drop it like it's hot.
Tiffany Haddish
That's my family right there. I love Snoop. I got. I got three songs with him.
David Spade
Really?
Tiffany Haddish
No.
David Spade
Maybe you and your.
Tiffany Haddish
Maybe it's.
David Spade
Yeah, it's two.
Dana Carvey
Well, it didn't surprise me when they put him in the Olympics. When I heard they're going to put Snoop there, I go, he's going to own the Olympics because there's something about him that everyone loves him. It's just. I don't know what he just is.
David Spade
He is a fun guy.
Dana Carvey
He's likable. Just, just a. I don't know his. You just want to hang out with him. Put it that way. You know, David, look, listen. This holiday season, surprise everyone on your list with the best gifts. All right? Tickets to see there. Wait for it. Favorite artists live.
David Spade
Yeah, listen, I go to concerts, Live Nation. I've dealt with them on every concert. They're always in the mix. I went to the Doobie Brothers. I think I Went to the Eagles. Anybody that's, you know, along my lines, there's thousands. Thousands. Metallica, they're in the comedy world too. Don't worry about that. We got, we got a mix. We've got, you know, Dane Cook, who is on the show coming up, we've got Mariah Carey. Of course, it's Christmas. Perfect timing. Metallica, like you said. Rascal Flats. Our old buddies, Sebastian, who we just talked to.
Dana Carvey
Sarah Silverman.
David Spade
Love, Love. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Trans Siberian Orchestra.
David Spade
List goes on and on.
Dana Carvey
It's a cavalcade.
David Spade
Share a memory together. Give them a gift they'll never forget. Find the most exciting gift for every fan@livenation.com gifts that's livenation.com gifts.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. Livenation.com gifts Dana.
David Spade
I gamble a little bit, but I'm so good at it.
Tiffany Haddish
That's.
David Spade
I tell people, don't worry about me. I'm good. Even though I, you know, I lose a lot. But I go to BetMGM across the socials. That's at BetMGM. It's a sports book. Born in Vegas. Here's the deal. You got second chance on first touchdown score. So all season long, BetMGM is offering you a second chance on your first touchdown bet. Okay, so you get. What's going on. So customer places a wager on a first touchdown score bet. He does not score first, but scores second bet. MGM will return 100% of their stake back in cash.
Dana Carvey
Oh, well, well put and well said. You know, I was talking to Paul McCartney.
David Spade
Yeah, what are you saying?
Dana Carvey
And I said, paul, what, what, what do you, what is the second chance on first touchdown score with bet mgm? He says, well, you know, the season can be long and it lasts the whole time, you know, Bet. MGM is offering you a second chance on your first touchdown bet. That's so. So when a customer, you know, they place a wager, a big wager on a first touchdown score bet, and he doesn't score first, he does not score first, but he scores second. Yeah, you get the score not first, but second. We return 100% of the stake back in cash. And that means pounds and quid and all those things.
David Spade
That's great.
Dana Carvey
So I said, thanks, Paul. That really.
David Spade
That's all you guys talked about?
Dana Carvey
All we talked about. I wanted to talk about the Beatles. But he goes, no, let's go back to this. If you do, the first touchdown score doesn't go. Yeah, we know, we heard.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dana Carvey
You get a second chance with the score second, you get 100% back of your quid. And your pounds.
David Spade
And your pounds. Listen.
Dana Carvey
Pounds.
David Spade
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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
What about before? We got to let you go in a second, but this last og I'm here for it.
Tiffany Haddish
We can hang out.
Dana Carvey
Guys, I have nothing else to do.
David Spade
We have a question for you. I just want to hear about Tracy Morgan because he's so funny and that shows the OG what was that? Oh, tbs, Right?
Tiffany Haddish
OG on tbs.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was, he had to be kind of fun to work with, right?
Tiffany Haddish
Didn't you work with them?
David Spade
I, we were not the same overlapping ears. I just know him a little bit.
Dana Carvey
When he was there and he's, he's a character. He's.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Mr. D. He called me Mr. D. It's not getting easier. Mr. D. Not getting easy. You know, Oprah with him, too.
David Spade
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
And did you guys have fun?
Dana Carvey
Yeah, yeah. It was Chevy Chase and me, Tracy, Tina Fey.
Tiffany Haddish
This is before the accident.
Dana Carvey
Yes, but he was, he had a kidney transplant or something and they put it in the front and he was patting it. You know, it's just an open book. He's just.
Tiffany Haddish
Did he tell you that it was his girlfriend's kidney and then.
Dana Carvey
I think so. Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, it's right here.
David Spade
That's. I think that's a jinx because that happened to George Lopez, right?
Tiffany Haddish
Took his wife. George took his wife's kidney and then they got divorced.
David Spade
You know, it's bad when you say, see you later, sucker.
Dana Carvey
I know.
David Spade
I mean, it's a tough one because talk about a non guilt free divorce.
Dana Carvey
I mean, you just go to the doctor. Did it take? Yes, it's good. I'm fine. I gotta make a call, babe.
David Spade
We've been having problems.
Dana Carvey
So are you actively.
Tiffany Haddish
I enjoyed working on. I learned a lot about myself working on that show because I was mostly the straight man. So, like that being the straight man.
David Spade
You the straight man. It's interesting.
Tiffany Haddish
Straight Man. And it was not the easiest because I want to crack jokes. I want to.
David Spade
It's hard. I did it in the wrong, missy. It's a little difficult.
Tiffany Haddish
Be boring to me. And just do what they write. Just do what they write. And then after like three or four episodes, I was like, okay, I got the hang of this. I can be. I can do straight man stuff.
David Spade
Yeah, straight man is valuable.
Tiffany Haddish
It's necessary.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
But I don't know why. Well, anyway, they cast you and whatever. It seems like that they're wasting a whole quadrant of ability, you know?
David Spade
Yeah, you got a lot of. A lot of.
Dana Carvey
It's very rare. A lot of people can act, you know.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah. But you know how this world is like, you know, it's.
David Spade
They just want you.
Tiffany Haddish
It's. Yeah, well, also, just like, you know, there's. It's not my show. It was for him to shine. It's for him to be funny.
David Spade
Right.
Tiffany Haddish
You know, I am just a. A little. A squiggly line in the. In the drawing, you know.
David Spade
Did they ever say these words? The name of the show is the Tracy Morgan Show.
Tiffany Haddish
No, it's not.
David Spade
The. Tiffany had a show. No, I've had that. They never had versions of that along my career.
Tiffany Haddish
They never. He might have said it, but they didn't.
David Spade
Remember.
Tiffany Haddish
Remember you on my show. Okay. All right. I show Tracy Morgan Show. We're going to get Emmys.
David Spade
All right.
Tiffany Haddish
This is why we doing this for the Emmys.
David Spade
Well, I mean, honestly, yourself.
Tiffany Haddish
I'll get you pregnant.
David Spade
Okay.
Tiffany Haddish
I could get.
David Spade
Oh, good threat.
Dana Carvey
Behave yourself or I'll get you pregnant. That's a comedy album or something.
David Spade
Oh, no, he didn't say.
Tiffany Haddish
He didn't say it like that. But he did used to joke about getting me pregnant. And I used to laugh and be like, your son is more my speed. Oh, his son was like 30, 32.
David Spade
Oh, hot.
Tiffany Haddish
He's all right.
David Spade
Don't give away your cards, but, you know, I think TBs in their head is like, we have Tracy. If we could get Tracy and Tiffany. It's just more potent. It's a great poster. It's great. And it's not a bad gig and blah, blah. So, yeah, I've done a million things like that where you're just. Sometimes you're the one they're writing for, sometimes you're not. But just one more thing along the.
Tiffany Haddish
Way, I am fine with being the not funny person in something. I mean, according to the Internet or to some. Some people opinion, you know, she's just a Pretty girl. That's loud.
David Spade
I love it.
Tiffany Haddish
That's fine. And I just don't know how many female comics have done what I've done.
David Spade
You've done a lot. Who just said, you're batting her eyes.
Dana Carvey
When you're a little girl, who are you watching and seeing that inspires you?
Tiffany Haddish
I'm watching Whoopi Goldberg, who, like, I used to think was my actual birth mother. And she just. Crazy.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
Because she has to look for the purpose of making people laugh. And she's going to come back and get me. Lucille Ball was my favorite to watch. Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Thea Vidal. Oh, Marshall Warfield.
Dana Carvey
I worked with her a lot. Worked. Did a comedy competition with her in San Francisco, which she won, by the way.
Tiffany Haddish
Of course she did. She's hilarious.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. She is a force of nature. And brilliantly funny.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, Very funny. And, I mean, and then there's, you know, there's the George Carlins. There's a lot of men that I watched. But, yeah, for women, that.
Dana Carvey
That.
Tiffany Haddish
That was like my thing. Christina Applegate was so funny to me.
David Spade
Like, oh, wow.
Dana Carvey
Yeah. With children. Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
I had to make sure I watched Married With Children.
David Spade
Oh, that's great. She'd love to hear that.
Tiffany Haddish
Because I wanted to. I was like, I have to learn how to be that girl, because I am that girl. Like, I'm like, I'm not the smartest girl, so I gotta learn how to be that and still get what I want.
David Spade
Like, yeah. Also, don't tell mom the Babysitter Was Dead was a great, funny, weird movie. When she was on, we talked about that. Right, Dana?
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
David Spade
And someone said the other day, they watched it with their kids, and they were like, oh, we won't be watching this with the kids. Because you forget some of those old movies like, that are so raunchy because there was no PC Police, and it just would kill. And then you go, later. Oh, take that out. Take that out.
Tiffany Haddish
That is not politically correct anymore.
David Spade
No. On reruns, how?
Tiffany Haddish
Like, yeah, doesn't Live Forever. Like, the Three Stooges was so funny to me. I used to definitely beat up my sister. Not on purpose.
Dana Carvey
We were playing Stooges like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
But, like, if you watch that, like, they would. If you put that on now, people be like, oh, no, that's. You know, that's teaching the kids how to hurt each other. That's violence. And, you know, and I'm like, no, it's. It's. Why don't like crime? I'm learning.
David Spade
The big thing Is you say our kids so much better now. They've had 30 years to change everything. Is it way better now? I don't think so. It's all just different.
Tiffany Haddish
They're even more violent. They're doing like it's the.
David Spade
We didn't have Call of Duty. How about that?
Tiffany Haddish
More violence.
David Spade
We didn't practice gunning people down.
Dana Carvey
School shootings.
Tiffany Haddish
When I was a kid, right? In the 1900s, there weren't school shootings. There might have been a shooting down the street from the school.
David Spade
There was fights, yeah. Yeah, I think old fashioned.
Dana Carvey
Hard to be a young.
Tiffany Haddish
When you talk bad about somebody. You had to watch your mouth because what they say, don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash.
David Spade
That's right.
Tiffany Haddish
I would tell people talking crazy to you. Now somebody talk crazy to you. You beat. You hit them first or they hit you and you beat their ass down into the ground. Now you sue and you want.
David Spade
Yep. Oh, anyone's ready to sue anyone for anything?
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Mm.
David Spade
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
This lady wanted to sue me. Said I was stealing her life.
David Spade
Well, that's a tough one.
Dana Carvey
That's a new one, your honor.
David Spade
That's a new one.
Dana Carvey
The theft of my client's life by one Tiffany Haddish.
Tiffany Haddish
You stole my life. She stole everything. Everything that Tiffany had been through, she stole that from me. She making it. I'm like, well, here's my social worker if you want to talk to her. And all my foster care. You want to catch those rapes that I caught? You can catch those. You can have them.
Dana Carvey
All these missions, you click every. Every box.
Tiffany Haddish
Every time a man ever hit me in the face. You can have that. You can have everything. You can have all of that and the good. Take it off.
David Spade
The reason maybe not the exact same.
Dana Carvey
Tiffany is pulling things up and doing act out. We're not laughing at the idea of it, but I just feel when I.
Tiffany Haddish
Oh, yeah, I forgot this is just audio. My bad.
David Spade
You're just fine.
Dana Carvey
But you're. You seem. Well, this was. I found this interesting. You do a special. It's called She's She Ready. Then you produce one with other comedians called they Ready. I mean, who does that?
Tiffany Haddish
Okay, wait. First. The first special, Was She Ready? From the Hood to Hollywood.
Dana Carvey
I know that's. But then when I saw it on the thing, they. They truncated it and I wrote it down that way, but I know it. It was from the Hood to Hollywood. Was the full. The full thing?
Tiffany Haddish
Yes. That was a whole next one. Was they ready?
Dana Carvey
Yes, yes.
Tiffany Haddish
Yes.
David Spade
And what was the long version?
Tiffany Haddish
The longer version? No, there wasn't a longer version.
David Spade
Okay.
Tiffany Haddish
They ready improperly at its best.
David Spade
I just want to get it right.
Dana Carvey
So was that Tiffany Haddish presents in a way, like creating.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
For other people.
David Spade
Showtime.
Dana Carvey
I'm saying. I'm just saying that's, you know, it was Netflix.
Tiffany Haddish
Wasn't show time. It was Netflix. And I did that. And I did that because I wanted, like, I had a little juice, a little power. And, you know, I just wanted for the people that looked out for me over the years. Yeah, for them. I wanted them to have the opportunities I wish somebody would have gave any of us.
David Spade
Just give me five on tv.
Dana Carvey
Totally.
Tiffany Haddish
So why? What, like, what's the point of building up all this notoriety and celebrity and prestige. Prestige. If you can't open a door to forever.
David Spade
Help. Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Pay it forward.
Tiffany Haddish
Pay it forward. Some of those people, I slept on their couch, you know, when I didn't have no money to pay, like, my rent or whatever. They. They helped me get gigs. Like, I'll never forget. Do you guys know Elon Gold?
David Spade
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
Very, very well. Yes.
Tiffany Haddish
And Elon told me in the beginning, like, in the earlier stages of my career, he said, tiffany, the only way that you will make a living in this business is by having good relationships with other comedians. Comedians will always keep you working. If you could call any. You keep good relationships, you can call any of those guys and go, hey, man, I need to make some money. I'm having issues. Do you know of any shows going on? Like, can you link me up? And they will get you work. You will always work in those comedians that aren't good, but they're good writers. They'll end up becoming writers or showrunners or, you know, and if you have a good relationship, they'll be like, yo, we need to get you in there. And they get you in there.
David Spade
Yeah.
Dana Carvey
I like your attitude just about the whole thing. It seems like you're really connected to your. Your struggle and your. Your journey. So you still feel very authentic. Sorry to use the word, like, just in the moment. In other words, people might watch out for, like, he or she. They're going to get a big head or they're going to be different. You know, it's going to go to their head. I don't think it ever went to. I mean, comedy is so freaking hard at times, and show business in general beats the out of you even at any level, pretty much. I don't know who's had the free ride There, you know, do you read reviews of your. Of your movies and your performances and do they affect you or you don't read them or.
Tiffany Haddish
Or if they're great read reviews? Because I don't think anybody even does reviews anymore, do they?
Dana Carvey
It must be social media. Basically.
Tiffany Haddish
Yes, I read social media comments and I have. I give. Sometimes I get really upset with people because I'm just like, really? Like, why are you even following me if you feel this way about me?
David Spade
I. I've DM people back and said, you follow me? You look like an idiot.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, yeah.
David Spade
You have all these complaints and you still follow me.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah. Weird. You're weird. Like, there was at one point in time I got really mad and somebody that was obese had said something about me. And then they said that. It looked like they said, oh, the way that I was acting is like, I got that. I got. I must got some of that powdered sugar or powder, you know, that cocaine.
David Spade
Powder on my Pepsi.
Tiffany Haddish
And so then I said, well, you need to put down the powdered donuts, you fat bitch. Like, I just went the fuck in. I probably shouldn't have done that, but, you know, I'm from these streets. I was ready to fight her. She cut. I read that at like 2 in the morning. And so I was like, in my mind, it is 9.95 again, and you about to get roasted. You want to roast me? I'm about to roast your fat ass. And I just kind of went in and I knew she was fat because I had did my research on her for about 45 minutes, and I knew she was on her weight loss journey. And I figured your journey, bitch.
Dana Carvey
Anything that ends with is funny.
David Spade
Did you get in trouble?
Dana Carvey
Journey fat with.
David Spade
Well, it's like someone saying it to your face. That's why it's. It takes so personal. I get mad when they say. It's like they read it to you and ran and you're like, no, no, I'm gonna come catch you.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you think I'm not gonna be on your. You want. Yeah, like, you want no freebies on somebody else page? On somebody else's thing. Talking crazy, but you in my page.
David Spade
Yeah, crazy.
Tiffany Haddish
So then I had to sign it to. Did I get in trouble? No, because I wanted to. My fake page, I went in that ass and then I was like, if you keep with Tiffany haddish, somebody gonna show up on you.
David Spade
Oh, good job.
Dana Carvey
Have you ever said what's up face on social media?
Tiffany Haddish
No, I don't think I'M like, what's up?
David Spade
You know, my last time I fought back, it wasn't quite as harsh. The guy, this. This guy said, I have a picture of me on stage and I have a coat on. And they go, why do you wear standup wearing a coat? And I go, really? Do you think anyone asked this question to Fonzie? Well, I cut. I cut deep.
Tiffany Haddish
I wish the viewers or the listeners could see Dana turn super red when I'm embarrassed. He likes it.
Dana Carvey
There was a lot of oath to it.
Tiffany Haddish
But the way you giggling is like you felt like I was saying that to you.
Dana Carvey
Yes. Well, you hit it nice and crisp and hard.
David Spade
Really nailed it. It's a good sharp.
Tiffany Haddish
Well, yes, it's my way. Also, sometimes I call people booger wolves. I'd be like, you an ugly ass. Booger wolf ass. You know, booger wolf is my other favorite. Go to.
David Spade
I haven't heard that.
Dana Carvey
Is that yours or is that a phrase that people use? Booger wolf?
Tiffany Haddish
It used to be really popular in the 80s.
David Spade
It did.
Tiffany Haddish
In the. In. See, you guys aren't black, so you don't know this, but in the black community back in the 80s, 90s was the thing to call somebody, and it's like, you know, they're. They're so. They're so ugly. Their attitude, their. Everything is so ugly that there's like, you know, they're. They're like a wolf.
David Spade
It's a hideous thing.
Tiffany Haddish
I go back to coming out like.
David Spade
You'Re a Fred wolf.
Dana Carvey
I went back to Sammy Davis Jr. I think he would say, what's up, jive turkey?
David Spade
Jive turkey was real cutter versus, I think, J.J. walker.
Dana Carvey
Is jive turkey still around good times?
Tiffany Haddish
No, but Wild Turkey is.
Dana Carvey
But let's bring back jive turkey.
Tiffany Haddish
I mean, jive turkey was only for, like. That's only like when you want to, like, make reference to an old uncle or something.
David Spade
You know, real jive. I've said jive turkey, not even joking three times in the last two weeks. It's so funny to me. It's such a funny phrase.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
What is that, a turkey that dances?
David Spade
I don't know.
Dana Carvey
I tried to invent a catchphrase once.
David Spade
Go ahead.
Dana Carvey
1 4th grade, everything was like, bitching. Bitching was up and all that. So I started saying to all the kids, out of sight, man, that's out of sight. And it took me like a month. And everyone was saying, that's out of sight.
David Spade
Sorry, you didn't start out of sight.
Dana Carvey
I started out of sight. 1965.
David Spade
Tiffany, before I let you go.
Tiffany Haddish
She ready.
David Spade
She ready.
Dana Carvey
She ready.
David Spade
You started blank, blank, blank. Whatever it is I met.
Dana Carvey
I'm just getting a little punchy at this point.
David Spade
Yeah, you can.
Dana Carvey
Every time you say I'm going to laugh. I don't know, I'm just getting a little. Anyway, it's. We have to read ads or something. But yeah.
David Spade
Thank you, Tiffany and thank you for talking to us. And you're so lovely. I like that you're doing all this stuff and it just adds to your smarts. You're just someone going out there feeding their brain. It's very nice to hear that it's something that people talk about doing or think about doing. Not everyone does it. I don't do it.
Tiffany Haddish
I want to evolve as a human. You know, this is the only life I'm living and I want to.
David Spade
I know. It's such a good inspiring thing. I can't.
Dana Carvey
Well, it is great to have Stan stand up as an outlet for that.
David Spade
If you.
Dana Carvey
Because you've always done sort of you on stage and talked about you. So it's interesting to take all these lessons you're learning and experiences and then make a kick ass standup special and say Dave Chappelle. Follow that. And then.
Tiffany Haddish
I would never say that to Dave Chappelle.
Dana Carvey
No, no, I said it because he's, he's the goat. That's why I used him ironically. Hey, order up.
Tiffany Haddish
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David Spade
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Dana Carvey
Do you remember, by the way, we, we met at this kind of corporate event. We did the Beverly Hilton.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, that was Casa La.
Dana Carvey
Oh, Casa La. And that's.
Tiffany Haddish
It wasn't corporate, it was found. It was a foundation.
Dana Carvey
It was a charity. Charity, sorry. Yes, but it was tables. And then you were so you're going to open me. And they said Tiffany haddish. I said Tiffany watis. What? And then I went out because. And I said oh, I better, I'm going to go look at my notes, because I, you know, I knew then I thought, you know, I don't know if star is born, or is that before girls Trip or. He'd had acting jobs, but I didn't really understand. But, yeah, you were.
Tiffany Haddish
Yeah, right before girls Trip and I had acting, and all I did was talk about being in foster care.
Dana Carvey
Yes. That was the connection to it. It was personal for you. But it didn't surprise me later when, oh, she's a star. You know, I always go by people one way. One metric is, like, who you wouldn't want to follow. You know, like, I wouldn't want to follow Dave Chappelle. I wouldn't want to follow you. You know, some people go, I can handle Dana.
Tiffany Haddish
Is that why you didn't take me on the road with you? Dana, when I asked you, did you.
Dana Carvey
Ask me to go on the road? Because I don't really go on the road.
Tiffany Haddish
And you were like. You got really awkward, and you turned red, like, right now, and you kind of giggled. We'll look into it.
Dana Carvey
I remember that. And then I got you in a headlock, and I was going, come on.
Tiffany Haddish
You got me a noogie.
Dana Carvey
Yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
We'Ll look into it, buddy.
David Spade
He doesn't go on the road with me. He's the worst.
Dana Carvey
I like doing standard, but I don't like to travel. That's the problem.
Tiffany Haddish
No, that's the part that sucks. I'm working on that. I've been watching YouTube videos on how to manifest teleportation, so.
David Spade
Oh, boy.
Tiffany Haddish
When I get that down, I'll be the goat for sure.
David Spade
Yeah, tell us.
Dana Carvey
We will. When you can teleport yourself to someplace else on Earth, please come back.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah.
Tiffany Haddish
I'm gonna teleport myself into your office. Right?
David Spade
Oh, I dream of genie. All right, Tiffany, we'll talk to you later. Thank you for doing it.
Dana Carvey
Thanks for the laughs. Be well.
David Spade
Thanks. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, Leave a. Like a review. All this stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is. We're wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade: In-Depth Conversation with Tiffany Haddish
Release Date: October 23, 2024
Podcast: Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Guest: Tiffany Haddish
Presented by: Audacy
In this engaging episode of "Fly on the Wall," hosts Dana Carvey and David Spade sit down with the charismatic and talented Tiffany Haddish. The conversation offers an intimate glimpse into Haddish's life, career, and the challenges she navigates as a prominent figure in the entertainment industry. Through humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful reflections, the trio explores various facets of Haddish's journey, providing valuable insights for both fans and newcomers.
The episode begins with Spade and Carvey discussing the movie "Saturday Night," a film that delves into the tumultuous first episode of "Saturday Night Live" (SNL).
David Spade [00:00]:
"There's a movie I'm watching right this moment that you have seen that I am really digging. It's so called Saturday Night. Now listen, we were both on Saturday Night Live. It's about the first episode. I didn't really know what it would be exactly. And it's really sharp. It shows where everything went wrong."
Dana Carvey [00:42]:
"It gave me goosebumps, it teared me up. It's very emotional when you think about it. Good Lord, it's still on now."
They commend the film for its sharp writing and emotional depth, highlighting its portrayal of the early struggles and eventual triumph of SNL.
Haddish takes center stage as she discusses her vibrant stand-up career and current tour, sharing the evolution of her performances from intimate venues to grand theaters.
Dana Carvey [03:09]:
"Tiffany Haddish is a fantastic guest to have on a podcast. She's full of energy, a lot of funny stories, laughing all the time."
Tiffany Haddish [14:48]:
"I have to get on stage."
Haddish elaborates on the pressures and exhilaration of performing to larger audiences, emphasizing how her comedy has grown alongside her increasing fame.
A pivotal moment in the conversation revolves around an incident where Haddish was mistakenly reported as being arrested for DUI.
Haddish recounts how her Tesla's autonomous features led to a misunderstanding, resulting in police intervention where she was simply asleep in her vehicle.
Dana Carvey [44:30]:
"Was this ever really explained in the media what you just told us?"
Tiffany Haddish [45:49]:
"Arrested for another DUI in the first DUI, which I'm. I want a hearing for."
They discuss the media's tendency to sensationalize such incidents, with Haddish clarifying the true nature of the event.
Haddish opens up about the financial challenges that come with sudden fame, including managing taxes and the concept of "Black Tax."
She explains how increased income leads to higher expenses and the complexities of supporting extended family and friends, often without the expectation of repayment.
The hosts provide their perspectives on financial management, emphasizing the importance of saving and strategic spending to maintain financial stability.
Haddish shares her transformative solo trip to Israel, highlighting how the experience enriched her personal and professional life.
She discusses the historical and cultural insights gained from visiting significant religious sites, which have influenced her comedy and worldview.
Haddish emphasizes the importance of understanding diverse perspectives to enhance her craft.
The conversation delves into the challenges of staying authentic amidst the pressures of fame and the entertainment industry's demands.
She underscores the significance of genuine relationships within the comedy community, valuing authenticity over superficial success.
The hosts reflect on the importance of these relationships in sustaining a long-term career in comedy.
Haddish addresses the impact of social media on her public image, discussing strategies for handling negative comments and maintaining self-esteem.
She shares her approach to managing online criticism, advocating for setting boundaries and prioritizing mental well-being.
This segment highlights the personal challenges public figures face in the digital age and Haddish's candid handling of such issues.
Haddish reflects on the comedic legends who inspired her, mentioning icons like Whoopi Goldberg, Lucille Ball, and Carol Burnett.
These influences have shaped her comedic style and her approach to her career, emphasizing the legacy of great comedians in her work.
The hosts pay homage to these legends, acknowledging their lasting impact on modern comedy.
Haddish discusses her role in "The Tracy Morgan Show," sharing insights into the dynamics of working alongside other comedy veterans.
She explains the challenges and rewards of playing a straight man role, navigating the spotlight alongside more established comedians.
The segment underscores the importance of versatility and adaptability in comedic performances.
As the episode wraps up, Haddish, Carvey, and Spade reflect on the importance of authenticity, continuous growth, and supporting one another within the entertainment industry.
Tiffany Haddish [68:38]:
"I want to evolve as a human."
Dana Carvey [68:49]:
"It's great to have Stan stand up as an outlet for that."
David Spade [68:45]:
"It's such a good inspiring thing."
Their heartfelt conversation leaves listeners inspired by Haddish's commitment to personal growth and authenticity, reiterating the episode's central themes of resilience and genuine connection.
David Spade [00:00]:
"It's really sharp. It shows where everything went wrong."
Dana Carvey [00:42]:
"It gave me goosebumps, it teared me up. It's very emotional when you think about it."
Tiffany Haddish [21:37]:
"Black tax, though, is when family members reach out to you for money and they expect you to give it to them."
Tiffany Haddish [43:07]:
"I was sitting in my head with them, and they thought I was dead in the car because I was like this."
Tiffany Haddish [63:29]:
"I give. Sometimes I get really upset with people because I'm just like, really? Like, why are you even following me if you feel this way about me?"
Dana Carvey [68:38]:
"It's great to have Stan stand up as an outlet for that."
This episode of "Fly on the Wall" masterfully balances humor with poignant discussions, providing a comprehensive look at Tiffany Haddish's experiences and perspectives. Dana Carvey and David Spade facilitate a conversation that is both entertaining and enlightening, making it accessible and valuable to listeners regardless of their familiarity with Haddish's work.
Whether delving into the intricacies of stand-up comedy, the pitfalls of sudden fame, or the personal growth that comes with travel and self-reflection, Haddish's candidness and humor shine throughout. The episode serves as a testament to her resilience and unyielding spirit, offering inspiration to aspiring comedians and entertainers alike.
For those who haven't yet tuned into "Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade," this episode stands out as a must-listen, encapsulating the essence of modern comedy intertwined with genuine human experiences.