We’re Sick Little Monkeys

Summary

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Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: We’re Sick Little Monkeys
Date: July 20, 2026
Host: Audacy

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent installment, comedic legends Dana Carvey and David Spade riff on current events, share hilarious stories from their personal and showbiz lives, and dive headlong into absurd observations about fame, social media, aging, and classic rock. The hosts keep it loose and spontaneous, swapping impressions, debating the quirks of soccer, magic tricks, house moving, and prank culture. As always, the tone is one of mischievous camaraderie and seasoned comedic banter, making listeners feel like true "flies on the wall" witnessing classic Hollywood comic minds at play.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Travel Tales & Celebrity Sightings

<02:43-13:48>

• David Spade's Airport Encounter with Gene Simmons:
  • Spade chronicles flying through Burbank airport and shares a behind-the-scenes look at what it’s like to navigate airports as a recognized celebrity.
  • He recounts meeting Gene Simmons (of KISS) at the airport—without the makeup and platform boots, just as a normal guy.
  • The conversation turns to the KISS Army and Simmons' habit of cracking edgy jokes, including his classic:
    • Gene Simmons (quoted by Spade): “I tell women I’m hung like Jesus.” (07:44)
  • Spade and Carvey riff on the challenges rock stars face with recognition when out of costume and the awkwardness of being spotted on commercial flights:
    • Spade: "You're in one of the biggest bands, and you're like, hey, I’m in KISS. And she’s like, I just blew that guy—he said he was in KISS.” (09:15)
  • They highlight other celebrity run-ins: Coolio with his trademark hair in a hat box, and prop comics nervously awaiting their luggage.

2. Farm Fiascos & Horse Drama

<13:56-17:20>

• Dana Carvey recounts a near-calamity on his family farm:
  • Carvey’s mother-in-law ("Granny") was accidentally knocked over by their Spanish stallion Magrosa, resulting in a hospital trip and a broken toe.
  • Discussion on farm animal temperament and the perils of anthropomorphizing animals.
    • Carvey: "Sometimes the big horse Magrosa will get territorial...twelve hundred pounds of animal will just lurch."
    • Spade: "That horse went full horse—full rump shot."
  • Granny’s Irish stoicism is noted:
    • Carvey: “She can literally never complain. ‘I don’t really need any help. It’s not throbbing very much. I really am totally fine.’” (16:46)

3. Comedic Takes on Politics & Social Media Outrage

<20:10-24:29>

• Spade relates an awkward restaurant encounter when a waiter openly expresses happiness about a politician’s (Lindsey Graham) passing, sparking a spontaneous and uncomfortable debate at his table.
  • Commentary on how social media and news—on both sides—have radicalized public discourse.
  • Farley/Carvey impressions of historic SNL bits about old senators ("women do not like a certain kind of genital...") and the performative nature of political scandals.
  • Spade: “Both sides got dinged. Republican, Democrat...People are getting there at press time.” (21:36)

4. Impressions & Comedy Bits (Buzzing Around)

<28:42-34:44>

• "Buzzing Around" returns, with Carvey launching into rapid-fire impressions:
  • Rob Schneider, Mike Tyson, John Lovitz, Brad Pitt, and Adam Sandler discuss the World Cup in an absurd roundtable (impression parade):
    • Carvey as Tyson: “Why don’t they just pick it up with their hands and throw it in the net?”
  • Spade queries the logic and excitement (or lack thereof) in soccer scoring, leading to a riff about inflating soccer scores to “50 points per goal.”
  • Discussion about the passion and intensity of World Cup fans, referencing the "Vikings for the Norway game" and the challenges athletes face with heat exhaustion.
    • Spade: “It’s the Super Bowl for the rest of your life!”

5. Social Media Satire and Tech Addiction

<41:47-46:29>

• The hosts skewer modern social media culture, responding to a viral prompt: “Would you take a free vacation if you couldn’t post about it?”
  • Spade: “No, I wouldn’t. I know a lot of you guys are gonna lie...but me, I wouldn’t.” (42:06)
• Riff on the performative nature of online personas and how everyone’s “life has to look so opulent and elegant," with Carvey recalling the bygone era of elaborate answering machine messages.
  • Carvey: “Follow the technology...if answering machines were around in 1948, Cary Grant would’ve been addicted—‘I’m going to take another selfie real quick.’”

6. Magic, Tricks, and Pranks

<54:34-63:34>

• The duo analyzes and lovingly mocks viral prank and magic trick videos, including classic sleight-of-hand bits.
• Spade recounts experiences being easily distracted and duped by magicians, notably David Blaine, while Carvey attempts a live “Kreskin-style” number prediction magic bit (with mixed, intentionally disastrous results).
  • Carvey: “It’s all about distraction. Let me tell you something…” (61:03)
  • Spade on being tricked: “They’re doing little tricks and then they’re rubbing your arm...they’ve got your watch.” (61:09)
• Admiration for magicians, hoping to have David Blaine guest on the show in the future.

7. Pop Culture: Movies, Moving, and Prank Videos

<25:31-54:34>

• Spade describes challenges with selling his house and the chaos of moving, while Carvey considers looking for a new place in LA (“I might just come by for a little look-see”).
• A long-form bit poking fun at “sandals movies” like The Odyssey, with Matt Damon and Russell Crowe impressions debating battle speeches (“Let’s gooooo!” vs. “Unleash hell!”).
• Breakdown of horror movie tropes—"Backrooms" and viral reviews—plus the trend of pranksters staging elaborate fake emergencies to mess with parents and friends.
• Carvey: “What a fun thing to do—just do pranks all day and stuff.”
• Both hosts agree they hate being pranked: “Oh my God, I hate being humiliated.” (36:38)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Spade on flying Southwest with celebrities:
  “We’re both racing to say why we’re usually not on Southwest. ‘I never fly this, but I had to...It’s so close to my house.’” (11:33)

• On social media showboating:
  “Everyone’s life has to look so opulent and elegant, when it could have gone any way...It’s always funnier to me to post stuff that’s stupider.” (43:29)

• Carvey’s answer to technology scoldings:
  “Old people with answering machines used to spend ten hours on their outgoing message!” (44:18)

• Regarding prank culture:
  “It’d be funny if you thought you’re getting on the Zoom with me here, and then I just come up from behind your couch.” (36:41)

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Segment Timestamps

• [02:43 – 13:48] — Spade’s airport and celebrity encounters
• [13:56 – 17:20] — Carvey’s farm “horse gone wild” story
• [20:10 – 24:29] — The politics of public reactions and SNL memories
• [28:42 – 34:44] — “Buzzing Around” with impressions and World Cup banter
• [41:47 – 46:29] — Social media vacation dilemmas and tech addiction parody
• [54:34 – 63:34] — Prank/magic trick culture and meta-commentary on sleight-of-hand
• [25:31 – 54:34] — Housing woes, pop culture riffs, movies, and pranks

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The Fly on the Wall Experience

Throughout the episode, Dana and David deliver on their promise of letting listeners be a “fly on the wall”—unfiltered, loose, and quick-witted. The conversation effortlessly jumps from personal anecdotes to cultural satire, always buoyed by their chemistry and relentless joke-storming.

If you want spontaneous stories, spot-on impressions, and a comedic cross-section of showbiz, current events, and nostalgia, this episode is jam-packed.

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Transcript

[A]

Hmm. Summer. What do you think about summer coming up?

[B]

Sneaks up on me.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

It is coming up. I'm trying to juggle plans, juggle meals, and enjoy the weather. Instacart's made that easier. I can sit outside, build my car with everything I need for the week, not have to step away from what I'm doing.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

This episode of Fly on the Wall is presented by Amazon Music.

[B]

Amazon Music is your 1 app for music, podcasts and audiobooks. Download the app today and start listening. I'm gonna milk it. Got so much milk. Give some to the kitty.

[A]

And then you go. And then. In the eye.

[B]

In the eye. And then. Likes it anyway. Likes it off. You're in one of the biggest bands in the world, and you're like, hey, why don't you come back to my house? I'm in Kiss. And she's like, I just blew that guy. He said he was in Kiss.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I guess anyone can say it, you know?

[A]

How do I know you're in Kiss?

[B]

I did have World cup fever, but it was just diarrhea. I thought I had World cup fever, but it was just that poo flu going around. Okay, welcome to the show. Hey, everybody, I'm.

[A]

Hello, buddy.

[B]

This is Dana, and we are Fly on the Wall, and we are flying.

[A]

We are locked and loaded in our Perspective Studios. Our mics are working, and we're fluffed and folded and ready to give you the show of your summer.

[B]

We've grabbed you in the first minute, which is what our goal was with that talk. So now that you're grabbe, I will.

[A]

Well, I will say before you go forward, there was something that was a little scary at first, but it all worked out. It was a story to do with with the farm. I will tell you that in a few minutes.

[B]

Cliffhanger. Okay, let's get my boring one out of the way then. But people sit. There's our story. And you're David Spade, this is me, and it's shot. Heather said they're all boring.

[A]

She's already boring.

[B]

She voted before I even came.

[A]

Wait a minute. Is it about airplanes or hotels?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. Okay, let me. It is about a hotel.

[B]

Close.

[A]

I had a 50. 50. It's about an airplane ride.

[B]

Well, I don't fly to Burbank a lot, so I fly to Burbank, which, when you fly to sperm bank, it's actually easier because smaller airport and less chaotic. Used to be a Taco Bell in there. Not anymore.

[A]

I always flew out of there back in the day.

[B]

Oh, it's so juicy. So I go there and then sometimes I get a greeter if it's more complicated situation. And the other greeter came up to our greeter and said, hey, we got a star, so we should have meet David. Isn't that funny?

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, can I ask you a question? People don't know when you have agreed or you come off the airplane. Do they? Do they. Does it say ds? You're trying to find your driver, right? They're holding up a little sign.

[B]

We can't tell you. Heather says, we cannot tell you.

[A]

Oh, it's top secret.

[B]

Okay, gotcha. Fake name. And then they all wait there and look for the driver and they go, oh, here he is. Even though they know my flight anyway because they get on the goddamn chat rooms.

[A]

Could it be possible? Just a random thing popped in my head. Persnickety Bullfight Frog.

[B]

It's just. It's just a little fat.

[A]

Ed Wilson.

[B]

So we have a secret name, but it doesn't matter. They figured out. But this is on the way there, so they help you get through. Checked in. I get there.

[A]

Okay, gotcha. So you have a greeter when you come through the airport?

[B]

Yeah, they're gonna cut us in line. Must be nice how much wingspan. I have to do a joke. So the. The celeb in question is an actual celeb. You know, sometimes they oversell. Oh.

[A]

And I'm intrigued by who this celebrity.

[B]

Someone I would know growing up. Now the only awkward part is they definitely want us to talk.

[A]

The. The minions. The. The people. Helping people.

[B]

But I actually really like these people.

[A]

Yeah, they're greener.

[B]

They're very. They're very nice. I've had them. I'm sure. You guys should meet and listen, I'm fine with it. I'm just a little awkward. So here I am. I don't know when this dude's coming. I'm with Bobby, and we're about to go to a gig or something. So anyway, I'm sitting on the floor of the airport against the wall, a little past my gate. Not really hiding, but just, like, down there, nibbling it.

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

You know, granola bar. They come up, and now I feel like the biggest asshole. I'm on the ground, which no one really sits on the ground, so I feel dumb already. I get up, it's Gene Simmons.

[A]

Gene Simmons? Yeah.

[B]

From Kiss. Yeah. Dana. Slow reaction.

[A]

Oh, no. I'm just visualizing him. Is he in his full makeup? Platform boots? Is he in a suit? What is he? He's.

[B]

He's dressed like a regular dude now. When. You know Kiss like I do growing up. The band. Yeah. Kiss, Destroyer album, The Big Crazy Plat. Those are so cool platforms. It's like.

[A]

Oh, yeah, they were. They are great.

[B]

So I says to him, I says to my. Says, so you?

[A]

Says to Gene Simmons.

[B]

I says, right to him. I says, I walked right up to him. I says, so that's a far, like bit. So I go, so Gene Simmons, Three Stooges says. They tell me on the way up, is that Three Stooges?

[A]

I think Curly did something like that.

[B]

It sounds like both Farley.

[A]

But whatever. Everything's. Everything's been done. Farley did it better.

[B]

So anyway, he. They said, by the way, he does a lot of jokes. I said, okay, so now I've got to be ready. So I stand up. Hey, good to see you. I said, he did about five in a row. And then I said, you know, I always liked when I grew up in Casa Grande, Arizona, this little dumpy town. I said, I always. We were in the Kiss Army. He said, okay. Oh, yeah. Kiss army is where you could be a part of a club that. That. That listed.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Kiss Army. Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah. A marketing opportunity which started then. And he made millions after that. And he maybe. Maybe went a little far with it. Milk so much. Feed some of the kitty. So anyway, I.

[A]

Can you do that exact thing one more time?

[B]

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna milk it. Got so much milk. Give some to the kitty.

[A]

And then you go. And then in the eye.

[B]

In the eye. And then likes it. Anyway, likes it off.

[A]

So don't adjust your television set. I just asked.

[B]

You heard it, right?

[A]

Yeah, I was amused. I wanted to see it again. Okay.

[B]

So I give a few compliments and then he goes, you know, I'm. I tell women I'm hung like Jesus. And.

[A]

Okay, not bad.

[B]

Not bad. Physical. Physical offensive.

[A]

Had a little.

[B]

So a couple of those.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then. And then it was funny because when I left Bobby. Bobby was boarding. I usually board toward the end. So Bobby, they. They get in the front and they brought Gene in the front. And so they're. They're walking in, and as I'm watching them at the ticket gate, I see him look at Bobby, blah, blah, blah. And then he goes like this same joke, just.

[A]

Yeah, it's his killer. It's his closer.

[B]

Closer.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He had to do it before they got on the plane, but. And the Jetway was too small to give it the full effect, so. Because he did it all the way, you know. Yeah, I'm working with a cam. I have a situation. Yeah, but you still get it. Anyway, what I thought was, when Kiss. I'm not saying they jumped the shark, but you have to go somewhere in your career. KISS stopped wearing the makeup. Somewhere along the line.

[A]

Yes. At some point, they jettisoned the makeup.

[B]

I think the real story is they were sick of not being recognized in public, which makes sense. He didn't say that, but I thought, right. You're in a bar, you're in one of the biggest bands in the world, and you're like, hey, why don't you come back to my house? I'm in Kiss. And she's like, I just blew that guy. He said he was in Kiss.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I guess anyone can say it,

[A]

you know, how do I know you're in Kiss?

[B]

You're just some squid walking around going, hey, man, I'm in a band. I can't sh. You know what I mean? I mean, Kiss, Yeah, I get the makeup. They go, who are you? I'm like, I'm the guy with the star and his eye.

[A]

I don't know, big boots and. Yeah, sparkly. And I play the bass.

[B]

It's all really hush, hush, but I can work in. You give.

[A]

But weren't the fans mad when they

[B]

went without the stuff? Yeah, they didn't shriek, but that first video they came out, they panned up them walking. They're like, shake it up or lick it up. And everyone's like, it's more like curiosity factor for a second. Then you kind of just go, they just look like four dudes from New York.

[A]

I think it was a great idea. The thing I would say about Gene Simmons, he's probably maybe one of the smartest rock Stars of the last 40 years. If you hear him interviewed, like, he. I don't know if I have an impression. I'm Gene Simmons.

[B]

He's a little deep. Yeah.

[A]

He's like, you know, I gotta be in a rock band. You know, we gotta make it and, you know, we gotta stand out. And that's where the makeup kiss came in. And then he's like, oh, guys, we need an anthem. We need a hit, and we need an anthem. And what was. I want to party all night, Rock and roll night.

[B]

And I want to walk every day

[A]

and party every day. And so they're, like, working this whole ecosystem of how to be a rock star with the name, the look. This song was incredibly catchy, and the crowd was really into it. And then later on, I think it was. He was on a show with.

[B]

It was.

[A]

William Shatner had a. Had a show where he's, like a psychiatrist. And they said, what's your favorite song? My favorite song. My favorite song is the song that makes me the most money, you know, and it was that I don't have a favorite song. It's the song that makes me most money. So I think Gene Simmons is just a very clever, smart guy and talented, and every time he's on TV or somewhere, I will always listen to his interview.

[B]

He's ultimately still doing it. Listen, he's older. He's older than me. And I always study people. If I find someone older than me out in the world, I go, let me see how they walk, how they talk, what's going on? And he looks like a normal dude. He's on a flight. I mean, we're both embarrassingly on Southwest. Fine, fine.

[A]

So that'd be very Gene. I'm sure he could afford a G7, but, you know. Yeah, why pay for it?

[B]

I'm sure I could, too, anyway. I could. But I did see one time an embarrassing situation. When you're on Southwest and you see another someone known, There's a lot of people go to Vegas on Southwest. Yeah, I saw, like, Backstreet Boys. And. And so we're both racing to say why we're usually not on Southwest. I never fly this, but I had to. It's so close to my house. I mean, you know that kind of shit. Because you're embarrassed.

[A]

Why? I mean, it's not like United is that much more domestic.

[B]

No, you should be on a private jet.

[A]

Oh, private jet. Yeah.

[B]

We're just like. And then one time, I saw Coolio. He just looked like a regular black guy with, like, a regular Haircut. And then they go, that's Coolio, this dude. And then in like a hat box, he had the, like the tarantula braids. Coolio, he puts him in the over. And then at night he goes, you know, that's hair. It's like tarantula hair. Yeah.

[A]

I worked with a comedian who had a little suitcase. Had to get through security. And in it was like dolls and weird props and.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A stick of fake dynamite. It's like. It didn't. Wow.

[B]

Yeah, he's got. Coolio's got the staple gun.

[A]

Well, Coolio. Yeah. I mean, I. I just travel with almost a very realistic. Because, you know, I've worn a lot of makeup the day. In prosthetics, it's a prosthetic mask that makes me look pretty much like Al Gore. So when I go on Southwest, I just go, you know, we just. I fly commercial and I fly the cheapest to save the planet. I'm Al Gore. Works every time.

[B]

Have you ever seen Carrot Top or someone that other prop act at Luggage and they're talking to you, but they're super sweating, eyeing the thing going, my box better come out or I have no show tonight.

[A]

I know, it's. I had props. I had props and it was scary. You know, where's my props?

[B]

Yeah, it's like I got rid of them. He's like, I gotta go.

[A]

Here it is. Good douche.

[B]

It's like something that should be on a U haul.

[A]

Head into the show. Good douche. Good dog.

[B]

Okay, go ahead. What's your story? That was my dumb story.

[A]

Well, we had some excitement. Well, first of all, people were mad. I was calling it a baby horse. Okay, now I know a baby horse that's a boy is a cult. So that's a cold.

[B]

We did say shaky legs colt.

[A]

Shaky legs, cold. So what happened was, is my mother in law came down. Granny, we call her grand granny, you know, whatever. And she loves the horses. So her and Paula were out with the horses at kind of like Dusk. You know, Tom and I are watching a Star Trek Next Generation in the barn, so they're out filming. So anyway, what happened was sometimes the big horse McGrosa will get territorial and it happens spontaneously.

[B]

The detective from the 70s.

[A]

Yeah, right, the detective from the 70s. Twelve hundred pounds of animal will just lurch that Roja. I don't know if it's Rojo or Roja. Just lurch. So grandma got caught in the cross. Crossfire. And the horse went full horse and did a rump swish and knocked Granny over.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Knocked Paula's mom.

[B]

Oh, and who's Roja? Is that a person or an animal?

[A]

It's another horse. We have a quarter horse. It's kind of reddish brown, a little older, a little smaller than Magrosa, which is a Spanish stallion.

[B]

You know who's the kid is? The dad is Magrosa.

[A]

No, no, that's the mom. The mama's Magrosa. The dad is a stud that works at a stud farm. And it's not monogamous, put it that way. No. There's only one male and 3,000 horses, and they all have the same husband. Imagine a nightmare of that. And when you drive and see the

[B]

dad, they see it's a stud farm. And the little new one is like this. Hey, dad. He's like, hey, I know. What's your name again?

[A]

What's your name again? What number are you? 3455. How do you smoke with a hoof? I don't know. I just kind of grip it in there. So I get a text in the barn. Mom fell. Help. So then we go out.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

She was a little shaky. She had, you know, swollen foot and arm was. So we took her to the local little hospital emergency. And she's. She was cognizant. She didn't hurt her head or anything. But we, you know, we went through the CAT scans and the whole thing, and she has a broken toe, but other than that, they did all the different things.

[B]

Fall, man, if you break your toe,

[A]

arm, and sprained ankle. So that horse went full horse, you

[B]

know, full rump shot. I mean, that's. That's a big weight hitting you.

[A]

It was leaping toward the other horse, but Anne got caught in the crossfire and. Yeah, well, that's all right. I really. I mean, she's so Irish. She can literally never complain. It's. It's really adorable. Well, I don't really need any help. It's not throbbing very much. I really am totally.

[B]

Do you think there's any way there's going to be vengeance?

[A]

No, she would never. But it's really my fault. I shouldn't have been in the way.

[B]

Maybe a sharp elbow or something out there. Like, let the horse know you get one freebie.

[A]

I know people. People humanize animals and go, what are you doing? You'll see a coyote eating a dead bird. Why? It's just a coyote.

[B]

Well, I like everyone lights up the phones on any horror stories.

[A]

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[B]

I did have something sort of political happen, but we don't go really politics.

[A]

We go.

[B]

We make fun of both sides. Well, yeah, interesting. This is more of an interesting take. Okay, I'm at a restaurant, I'm reading a paper and the story says Lindsey Graham died. Right? Remember that is. So this is a couple days ago. The senator, the waiter who's waiting to take my order, looks down and goes, points at it, goes, I'm so happy. I thought Are you allowed to just say that at work? You probably shouldn't say that at work. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's because you're saying obviously you're on one side. Fine. But, but even if it's. I'm not political really. But just say someone died, then you say you're happy. It's a very odd, casual take with a customer.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If it was anybody. Oh, Hillary Clinton died. Excellent. Wouldn't that strike you as like, whoa? I mean, well, I didn't say anything. I'm not ratting anyone out. But, but it started a whole thing because someone next to me said something to me and I was like. He started defending. Then he started on Gavin Newsome. To me, I'm like, hey, man, I'm just, I'm just holding a paper. I don't know what it's going to say on the paper, but because I'm holding it.

[A]

So both sides got ding.

[B]

Yeah, both sides got both sides.

[A]

Republican, Democrat people are getting there at press time.

[B]

Is still alive and the one guy is still dead.

[A]

Yeah. I mean it was a center. I don't know. People get very emotional. I, I, Social media is radicalized. I know it's a hot take, but it's radicalized everybody because the algorithms try to get everybody angry.

[B]

Heated. Yeah, it works. We just, you know, who's the guy that I thought it was? Because there's someone that's been having health problems.

[A]

Oh, well, that was Mitch McConnell.

[B]

Mitch McConnell.

[A]

And I was like in the hospital for three weeks.

[B]

I was like, oh, it's not that guy even. They're getting up there. Both sides are getting up there.

[A]

Well, you know, Strom Thurman back in the day was like a hundred.

[B]

Yeah, hello. Did you do Strom Thurman on snl?

[A]

Yeah, the women don't like the I did kind of like that sort of guy. Then he would sign the, the Senate bill at. I'll get there in a minute.

[B]

What were we laughing at on SNL when it was like Farley was doing C. Hein or was that you?

[A]

Yeahin. Yeah. It was about all those guys talking

[B]

about porn and Clarence Thomas.

[A]

Clarence Thomas, the pube on the coke can. Women do not like a certain kind of genital. Yeah, I was just like really?

[B]

I hear the old guy hitting the

[A]

word and little Add a little comb over bald cap little teeth. They like more than lesbian Women like a little romance in the live and not looking at fun at you.

[B]

Oh, Mick Jagger got in a scruff. Speaking of this what stories that he said? Well, they kind of trapped him in it, of course.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Bruce Springsteen talks a lot about politics in this show. And they said, Mick, should you. Do you talk politics? He goes, no, I'm just here. I don't want to lecture the crowd. But just saying that. He goes, I'm here to have a good time. You know, I don't want them to think about anything else. Just have fun. I don't want to lecture him. Second, he said lecture. Front page. Puts those two against each other.

[A]

Oh, so like he's kind of scolding Bruce Springsteen.

[B]

Yeah. They have like a picture of Mick like this. Ah. And then Bruce like this. Oh,

[A]

that's the way of the world.

[B]

I know. A 45 minute interview. That's really all they're looking for.

[A]

They just want one to make everybody happy. You know, Springsteen's like, yeah, I don't know if I lecture. I'm not. I'm not attempting to lecture. I'm really working on this underbite. It's been bugging the out of me for 50 years. Anybody in the. How many people here have Invisalign? I've just won $3,000 on Polymart that

[B]

because I mentioned in business that you

[A]

would do a Springsteen impression. It was a thousand to one. I tricked you in just for the underbite. You know, we should get.

[B]

Why don't we get sponsored by Poly Polydent. We got Poly Market. What's it called? Dentures. Polydent.

[A]

Poly Poly dentures. What is it?

[B]

Poly Grip.

[A]

Poly Grip.

[B]

And keeps your dentures in. We should get sponsored by one of these people. Somebody.

[A]

Now they can do so much to keep your teeth, but it's expensive.

[B]

Heather filled out a form about our likes and dislikes. So when we get ads on here, we get more effusively like, oh, spade. Like skateboarding. Even though I don't do it as much.

[A]

But yeah, I'll just say Poly Grip.

[B]

Dana likes Polygroup.

[A]

Call me.

[B]

Yeah, Poly Grip. Polymarket. Okay. Any other stories?

[A]

Any other habitats?

[B]

Oh, no. Let me see the back of this. I had something.

[A]

Oh, no, this is just says water plants.

[B]

I did move what I moved. But my. I told you this last time, but my house is still for sale, which is wasn't the plan.

[A]

Let's move this house. What do you want me to do?

[B]

Well, the last time I moved, the smart thing to do is I sell my house and then I go move I know what I made or what I have.

[A]

And then you go shopping for the next house because you have escrow for 90 days, whatever.

[B]

Because it's a question mark what you'll sell your house for. You could sell it for higher, sometimes you could sell for lower. You could not sell it. So I was looking all the time for a house because I kind of wanted to beat it. And people say, oh, you just moved there, but it's been four and a half years. That's not just. That's not just anything.

[A]

Yeah, that, that's not nothing. Is it a lot? No, not really, but it's not nothing.

[B]

Big picture of the world. No.

[A]

Let me ask you a question. Before you put the house on sale, did you ask anybody? Hey, man, just quick question. Is it a buyer's market or a seller's market?

[B]

No, the problem with that is, which is a good question is it's always something. Yeah. Because if you go on Zillow, you'll see houses are selling for, you know, over market, over market and then suddenly they're selling for them. So whatever it is, if houses are costing a lot, then I'm gonna have to pay way more when I buy one. But I'll get more for mine.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So you're caught in the middle. So one side you're gonna get rat on. So this one was. I saw a lot of houses in the last year, year and a half that were kind of sitting there. That's when I came in and tried to get mine. The one I got, which I liked. And it's a little more serene, a little quieter than where I was. And then. But then that means, is anyone going to buy yours? But you know, last time it was smarter. But this time I won. I knew one I liked, so I had to make a move. And then I put it for sale. And now I'm about to go do grownups, so I'm gonna have to figure that out. But I think it'll work out.

[A]

I was looking for a little place to hang out in la. I don't know, I might, you know, might just come by for a little look, see at the.

[B]

Yeah, you could buy with your bar tab. Dude, petty cash.

[A]

You know what you need? You need a proprietary buyer. You need someone who just like this, clicks all the boxes.

[B]

Yeah, it's actually nice. It's a well done house because it was new when I bought it. They built it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I of course got the bugs because some things weren't finished. I had to fix this. So it's all works perfectly. It's a great house.

[A]

I would keep pretty jaw dropping when you come in that front door and

[B]

all that view all the windows and be pretty.

[A]

Jaw dropping.

[B]

Yeah, it's gorgeous. And it'll sell at some point, but that's that. And then we got. We got some. Also, we got some news stories if you want to go into that.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

You want to try a few? And then we can also.

[A]

Let's try and just see if.

[B]

Let's see if our brains are coming up with anything funny. Yeah, I thought last week was funny.

[A]

I. I thought it was fantastic.

[B]

Yeah, we're cracking up. So here we go. Whenever you're ready. Oh, Buzzing Around.

[A]

You get a. You buzz around. I'll do. Okay, let's do it.

[B]

Buzzing Around. It's time for Buzzing Around. Sponsored by Five Hour Energies Firework Freeze Flavor. It's a good summer flavor. Ignite your taste buds with a red, white and blue freezer. Pop. Classic. Reimagine as a delicious Firework Freeze 5 hour energy shot. Find Firework free shots online at 5hourenergy.com or Amazon. Today, Dana's gonna give us a scenario.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A couple impressions, and then we're gonna judge it.

[A]

It'll be quick, don't worry. The World Cup. Rob Schneider, Mike Tyson, John Lovett.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

And. And maybe Brad Pitter or Sandler.

[B]

Okay, you don't have to. You don't have to, but if you want to add those.

[A]

Yeah, I don't have to, but Rob Scheiner. Yeah. The game's really close. This is exciting, isn't it, Mike? Yeah. They haven't even scored yet. I mean, how do they. Even though they're a soccer team, they got to score, right? Well, it's very hard to score a goal. You know, they got to shoot the goal. Shit, the goal. Why don't they just pick it up with their hands and throw it in the net? They can't do that. That's against the rules. Yeah, but what are they going to do about that? Well, that's against the rules. Why? You can't do it. Yeah, what are they going to do? What are they going to do about it? If you just pick it up and throw it in there. Hey, slow down. Someone just got a go. You missed it. Excuse me. You don't know about soccer. Yeah, but it's called football. But that's kind of boring. Bet off football. No, it's an incredible game, isn't it? Brad Pitt. That's a good idea. I agree with Mike. They should be able to pick up the ball. Hey, here comes Adam Sandler. Okay, go ahead, David.

[B]

I was going to Ask a question. So if Mike was out there playing and he picked it up just in a fun game of soccer, then what happens? And they say to him, mike, you can't pick up the ball.

[A]

Yeah. I say, what you gonna do about it? So what I would do is I would put the ball in my arm and I would just. I would just have a stiff right? And I just punch the guys. And then they go out. They go out. Everybody. Everybody takes a little nap. And I score like 100 goals in a row.

[B]

You throw them all in.

[A]

Yeah. Mike, it's not even the same game then. The World cup has gone on for decades. It's a sacred sporting event. There's rules. Yeah. But, you know, at the end of the day, you know, I'll say it one more time. What are they gonna do about it?

[B]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

And then Sandler comes at the end and what do you say? You do it.

[B]

Those are Sandler's only lines.

[A]

I was thinking. Yeah, go ahead.

[B]

This has been buzzing around.

[A]

Buzzing around.

[B]

Sponsored by Five Hour Energies Firework Freeze flavor. The iconic red, white and blue freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark. A tasty flavor sensation with firework freeze 5 hour energy shots available online at 5hourenergy.com and Amazon today.

[A]

Yes, I was.

[B]

You know, the World cup will be done by this, right?

[A]

But let me just ask you a question. That's evergreen. Did you get into it at all the World Cup? Of all the games, did you?

[B]

I did a little bit because I got caught up in it. But the. I was the other night thinking is when is it over? Like, no offense, it's been a fun ride. I didn't know it was all summer. It's the super bowl for the rest of your life. That's what I say. And. And I like when it's a rivalry like the north and South Pole. I said, this is my. This is me at the Comedy Store just trying to do World cup bits.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

But overall, I thought France was France supposed to win. They didn't win.

[A]

They have. I know, but they got spanked by Spain. I would just say tell this because it's like this game is essentially over and it's one point to zero points. They might as well go home. It's a one goal lead. What if they made. Every time you score a goal, you get 50 points. It's fine. 50 to nothing.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It would be. It would make it more exciting because

[B]

if you're watching football game and it's three to zero, at half, you're like, this game sucks. So you want touchdowns. What if you only had one touchdown a game? I.

[A]

That.

[B]

I agree with what you're saying. Right. More action.

[A]

But even if It's. If it's 50 to nothing, it seems more exciting. Even if the next team scores one goal, they get 50 points, so.

[B]

Oh, that's what you're saying? I do agree. 50 sounds more like a. And they really beat him.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, man. They're ahead by a hundred to zero. Then it's just two goals, two scores.

[B]

Yeah, I like that idea. Yeah.

[A]

But, you know, I got into it a little bit because of learning what? Well, first of all, I didn't know when all of a sudden it said plus nine up on the screen. Plus nine. They just add up all these minutes, and then they add them at the end. I didn't know what. When is the game?

[B]

I like it's ending. And they go. They can go a little long. They want. Yeah, it just, like, sometimes it just stops and they pick up a ball and they go, they want. I go, now. There's no urgency. Like 10, nine. I don't.

[A]

Right. Yeah. This. This. You know, when it's over. But the thing that's kind of interesting is the basic cool move. I guess someone like Messi kicks it and it kind of winds and twists and lands. Is coming down right at the front of the net. And if you have a tall guy, he just hits it with his head and there's a goal.

[B]

Yeah. So I will say kind of.

[A]

Kind of goofy. That's all I'll say is a head.

[B]

Overall, I did have World cup fever, but it was just diarrhea. I thought I had World cup fever, but it was just that poo flu going around.

[A]

Well, the. The passion of the fans was the big part of it.

[B]

It's almost alarmingly scary.

[A]

Yeah. The Vikings for the Norway game. Everyone's dressed like a Viking and they're fake rowing.

[B]

And they showed that dude's house on Instagram. I was like, oh, my God.

[A]

Mean their main. Main guy Halen or something. The 65 guy.

[B]

Yeah, the monster. I'm like, sell my clothes. I'm going to heaven. This guy has the hugest spread in Finland. Is it Norway?

[A]

I don't know where Norway. But then Norway has to play their final game, and it's 99 and it's humid, so the heat index In Miami, it's 111. This guy is a big guy, so the smaller guys were just running around, but this guy, they had to take him out because. Just heat exhaustion, dude.

[B]

I wouldn't get tired. Big talker, big talker. I would have been great out there.

[A]

I would have been great if I chose Cadoosh.

[B]

More Cadooes. I'm going to see Swartz and tonight I can't wait to make fun of him and make him buy dinner.

[A]

And what will he say?

[B]

Good.

[A]

Will he have stories?

[B]

I don't know. He's. He does. He's funny.

[A]

He's funniest.

[B]

He. He keeps posting from the hospital and I keep trashing him on his comments. It's so hilarious.

[A]

Is he still posting, guys?

[B]

And I'm like, what a loser. Yeah, he said he had. He had an MRI yesterday. And I go, oh yeah, the microscopic rod inspection. Dude, you can't write that.

[A]

Hey man. Kadoosh kadish.

[B]

I was like, what a burn. Anyway, he's okay. I guess I'll find out tonight. If he buys, I'll be like, are you okay? See, I want to check your. See if you can pick up your wallet. Let me see if. Is your shoulder okay? Okay, now see if you can pay the bill.

[A]

Oh, so you got slowitis when check comes here?

[B]

No, I just want to make them pay. I'll be like, let's check your reflexes. Grab your wallet really fast. Pay the waiter. Okay, you're doing good. You're doing good. Check them.

[A]

I'd like to be a fly on that wall.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. You know those classic tri colored freezer pops we used to fight over during the scorching summer days? Well, the genius folks at five Hour Energy just did something incredible. They completely reimagined that absolute freezer pop classic as a delicious firework freeze five Hour Energy shot. And let me tell you, Dana, it's a game changer for your daily routine. I cracked one open right before recording the show today. Wow. And it's a serious bold flavor explosion in every single sip. You get this incredibly nostalgic combination of juicy cherry, citrusy lime and that sweet candy like blue raspberry we all love. All hitting your taste buds at the exact same time. What do you think?

[A]

It is honestly amazing how they capture that exact taste. But here is the absolute best part about it. You get to enjoy that iconic freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. So you have to worry about any of the guild or massive sugar crash later on. It's the perfect portable pocket size summer companion to spark a tasty flavor sensation and give you that quick reliable energy boost wherever you go. All without melting in the heat like the old school treats, right David?

[B]

I'm hooked. Listen, you will be too hooky. Ignite those taste buds with a firework freeze flavored five hour energy shot. Now available online at fiverr energy.com or Amazon. Comedy royalty Kate McKinnon returns as Queen Mortuana in Heads Will Roll Heir Apparent, the highly anticipated sequel to Audible fan favorite original comedy series. She's flanked once more by co star Emily Lynn and a new star studded ensemble including Richard Kind, Lori Metcalf, Jimmy Fallon, Megan Mulli, Sam Richardson and Carrie Coon. Plus an extensive cast of comedy greats. Seriously extensive. This is wall to wall comedy at the highest level. When we last left our gloriously unhinged queen and her Raven sidekick JoJo, the unlikely besties had fled to the woods for a simpler life. Well, it did not last. Queen Mo is back on the throne, an heir apparent and facing her greatest challenge yet. Produce an heir before her 40th birthday or lose everything and spend eternity as keeper of the Menstrual.

[A]

It's a very sticky sitch. Meanwhile, JoJo's botched wing enhancement surgery turns her into a toad, leading to unexpected interspecies romance and a choice between royal duty and normal life. With her throne on the line, Mo and JoJo embark on an increasingly unhinged scheme to secure succession. Part medieval mayhem, part razor sharp social commentary, Heads Will Roll Heir Apparent is fantasy comedy for the ages. It has everything Trad wives, Polycules, Sasquatch mercenaries, milk people, toad on mole romance, a child named Barbara. Seriously, everything.

[B]

David, when was the last time you heard of a child named Barbara? Well, don't miss a moment of Kate McKinnon and the killer cast and Heads Will Roll Heir Apparent. Seed a child or seed the throne. Listen to Heads Will Roll Heir Apparent, available now on audible go to audible.com headsville rollseries to start listening today. All right, now before we get back, we have a message from Ashley the Mosquito about Orkin. Hey besties. Hope all of you are high key. So excited for summer. It's literally giving all of us mosquitoes life. So we thought we'd help everybody make the most of it before Orkin pros try to ruin our fun. Remember, if you have standing water on your lawn from the pool or the sprinkler, just let it sit there. The more the merrier. When they're standing water, there'll be more mosquitoes. Plenty more. Next up is a bit of a hot take, but we're so hyped on it, let mosquitoes inside what could go wrong? Just let us inside, please. Thanks. Love you.

[A]

Finally, the number one rule this summer is do not under any circumstances speak to anybody from Oregon. That is literally so cringe it will ruin the vibe of any get together we might be having. Take it from a mosquito, Orkin. Pros know literally everything about us, period. Don't visit orkin.com for a free estimate today. Now let's go suck some blood. Now let's go suck some blood. Number one with a blood bullet.

[B]

Okay, what's this news story? Are we allowed to move to that now?

[A]

Yes, I think so. We're in.

[B]

Good. I can never see these. Oh, here's a dumb one.

[A]

This.

[B]

This is something I saw. And I know Dana won't believe it, but this is. Heather will chime in. This is probably true. Let's hear it. A video of someone asking if you could go on a free vacation, but you couldn't take a single picture or video to post on social media. Would you go? No, I wouldn't.

[A]

Like, sorry.

[B]

I know a lot of you guys are probably gonna lie and say yes, but personally, me, I wouldn't. There you go. That's it. Now that's a. That's a possible situation in the new world. In the old days, there was no version of. It was just, you got to go on vacation. You have all these great memories. Yeah.

[A]

We had date myself a black and white Polaroid camera. It had a little flash and then you wait and you pull out a little black and white blurry. Oh, and they have their own magic to. It was very lo fi. But did she have to wear that top to get. I mean, I mean, was she picking out different clothes? I'm gonna make a serious statement about social media.

[B]

Is that what she landed on?

[A]

Yeah, this was like she tried on 40 different things. Let's go with this.

[B]

She still wants clicks. I mean, come on. The end of the day, that's why that shows you there's a thirstiness. And if she goes there. Because everyone I know, when they're out to dinner, you just see pictures of people's food. The drive there, the beautiful everyone. It's a weird thing where everyone's life has to look so opulent and elegant when it could have gone any way. You could say, oh, there's some really low five people that just. Well, they don't take pictures because they're normal. But taking pictures of things that aren't going well in your life, it's always funnier to me to post stuff that's stupider.

[A]

But. Or mix it up. I mean, one is just, I have the greatest life ever. So you feel like everyone is on a cool yacht off the coast of Italy partying like all human beings have yachts and party. And then once in a while, it's like not feeling it. Gang. You know, there's the sad thing.

[B]

I had to turn off my phone.

[A]

People admonish the young people who are addicted. I feel like I'm doing Bill Maher for a second. Yeah, they admonish people because they're so addicted to their phones. Oh, yeah. I always say this to everyone. Follow the technology. I mean, as soon as VHS came in, the first thing was porn. We, if, you know, answering machines came in and we were. People would spend 10 hours in their outgoing message. Like, what would you. And your prime. For your outgoing message on your. What would you say? Was it funny?

[B]

I said, hey, it's ds. Leave me a mess and I clean it up.

[A]

And that was number one with a bullet for 20 years.

[B]

No, they used to have a whole thing called, well, I'm glad you called, but we are not home. So leave a message on the phone. Wait for the beat. You gotta leave your name.

[A]

You got.

[B]

They had, they had a crazy calls cassette where you could put it on your answering machine. It was all fun.

[A]

It was, it was a big deal. Your outgoing message. And the, the older people thought they're crazy. But I got so bored at one point, I spent four hours working on this. It was Old man river, except I said, I. I put in beep instead. Old man beep. He is a coming. That old man beep. Oh, he is coming. Here it comes. And then four hours now I got 12,000 leaving messages for.

[B]

Yeah, I want calls just to hear it.

[A]

Yeah, but I mean, if, if these things are around and 1948, Cary Grant would have been addicted. Excuse me, Humphrey Bogart. I'm going to take another selfie real quick.

[B]

I'm going to put it up.

[A]

We're Sick little monkeys. Follow the technology. That all Sick little monkeys.

[B]

I like when people go, I had to delete my Instagram. I just couldn't take it. I was having a crash out. And then of course, a day later, I'm back. Oh, you didn't delete all your followers. It wasn't that serious.

[A]

Well, this is what pops up to me sometimes. And I don't really dig into this, but people say, first time posting in a while, and you're like, I guess I better click on that. Are you saying you haven't posted in a While. And now you're going to post after a while happened. I gotta see what's going on.

[B]

The best ones are people in the hospital going, hey, guys, just saying hi, no questions. And then people are like, oh my God, are you okay? Yeah.

[A]

Our guy's been intubated and he's got bandages. You know, when do you just not leave a mess?

[B]

I know when you just don't put a picture up. Is there any scenario where you wouldn't take a picture?

[A]

There's a guy, they're doing the paddles on the guy. Clear. The guy wakes up for a second. He's like, three, two, one. Clear.

[B]

He's like, did you guys film you intubating me and give me a defibrillator Because I want to post it. I got to put it up when

[A]

I go under, when I'm flatlining. Show it flatlining. Pan over to me and then bring me back.

[B]

People film their breakups. They walk up to their girlfriend, they go, hey, so. And the girl's like, why are you filming this? He's like, listen, it's. I think we've been going and you're filming this. Intimate, horrible. Oh, I'll watch it. Of course. I know. Okay, next one. Let's see, let's see.

[A]

We. We handled that one good.

[B]

Trapped inside. Oh, is this a scary. Just a play. I don't know what they done. Okay, so they took the. Oh, this is just some guy in his apartment. I didn't even know you could do that with people living here.

[A]

But they took the steps away. What is that?

[B]

I thought this was supposed to be like a repair job or a one day thing. The day is over. The guys are gone. Walking down those steps. So this is a three story building.

[A]

There's no elements and no one noticed. And now they're up. What is that?

[B]

You know, it's a cheap apartment complex. They took.

[A]

Well, that mean. What was he snapping while they took that or. He was once.

[B]

Well, they were like working on the steps. They ripped them all out to replace them. And then he just went home and

[A]

then it was up. 5 o'. Clock.

[B]

How do I get. Yeah, how do I get anywhere? I get a little. I mean, that situation, I'm not as paranoid, but if I was stuck like Luke Wilson on that elevator, I would be like, panic mode, dude.

[A]

I did watch that movie. What's it called? Backrooms.

[B]

Oh, you saw Back rooms.

[A]

Backrooms came out on Amazon Prime. Wow. For 1999. But I had seven people with me, so we divided it up.

[B]

That's good. Everyone kicks in. So what back room's supposed to be kind of scary? When is there just.

[A]

It's definitely creepy and scary. And it gets more like a horror film toward the end. Yeah, it's like very atmospheric.

[B]

Making 200 million as of this weekend. That's crazy, huh?

[A]

Globally, I think it's more like 400.

[B]

Well, Orbit, Louis, it's 5 trillion.

[A]

But it was made for like 2 million or something. And AI to make the back rooms

[B]

and that an obsession. Both blew it out.

[A]

Blew out the big studios.

[B]

It's going to meet minions, go to space or whatever.

[A]

The only thing I would ask is you invest in a movie and you're liking. Okay, it's kind of a mystery and it's a horror mystery. Are we going to get a conclusion or something? And didn't really satisfy me. They kind of hinted at it, but no, we have no idea.

[B]

So maybe we should ask to get that girl from Obsession. We should see Obsession and try to get someone from out of this regular world we have. Because I heard that movie's good. It's making a killing. Yeah, but I was too scared to see it. But I told you, we ran into a few people from that movie and they were like, go see it. I'm like, I don't know. I was scared to see the Sheep Detector. So I'm going to. If you could probably handle it, why me? Because you're tough. I don't know. I'm. I'm in a new house. I'd be scared.

[A]

It's things that pop out so you know someone's going to pop out. So sometimes if I'm in a theater, I know I don't want that feeling. I'll just squint my eyes.

[B]

I go like that.

[A]

I mean, it's not my favorite. I love science fiction. But horror, sometimes, you know, popping out,

[B]

music, noise, it all scares you.

[A]

And of course, there has to be a sequel. What would be the name of the back. Backrooms. What would be the sequel's name?

[B]

Front Rooms. Side Door Backbone.

[A]

No, Side door.

[B]

Oh, side.

[A]

It's already been announced. I just made up.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Au pair's room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dining room.

[B]

She shed. Yeah, she shed. I never knew what that was. That's like a adu in the backyard or something.

[A]

Maybe they'll just make it a different tone and they'll just call it even More rooms with an exclamation point.

[B]

We found more rooms, not just back rooms. They were really the front rooms.

[A]

This is the roomiest back room ever.

[B]

This is A mansion. Okay, next story.

[A]

I was. I had a movie question for you too.

[B]

Oh, you. You tell me right now.

[A]

Are you going to rush to see the Odyssey?

[B]

That's a great question, Dana.

[A]

Isn't it? Are you gonna 70 millimeter

[B]

IMAX? IMAX, the 70 million dollar movie or 70 millimeter?

[A]

70 millimeter?

[B]

I'm not going to IMAX.

[A]

I don't have 70 millimeter.

[B]

I don't have a neck for it like this. Oh, there's Odysseus. And there's chlamydias. And there's chlamydia.

[A]

Oh, there's the princess gonorrhea.

[B]

There's Matt Dame with his hat with the fake mohawk on top.

[A]

I know, it was. It came. It became a little bit casual because they got the army there. I thought, what else could he match? Not his fault. But he goes to the army. He goes, let's go. It just seems kind of casual for 3rd century Greece. You say something. We shall fight or something.

[B]

Men of our country, let's do this. And then there might be an after

[A]

party because you remember Gladiator where Russell Crowe says, unleash hell? That was a good one. He could have said, let's go. Or begin. Begin shooting the arrows. Unleash hell. So let's go.

[B]

Ladies first. I'm kidding. I will all go at the same time. That's casual.

[A]

Well, it might have been nice if it was just because they all have swords. Did you see it? Let's go kill him. No, I just saw the trailer.

[B]

Let's get these mofos. He did a bunch of different takes.

[A]

Hey, guess what? It's. It's hitting time. Might have made it too modern, but

[B]

yeah, he goes, cover your dicks, here we come. And everyone's like, no, no, that's a bad one.

[A]

Or just did a nod to it. Why? Why Matt Damon? I'm not Matt Damon. I'm Odysseus.

[B]

It is. I like that, Chris. No one just goes, just say whatever comes to you as this character. And he's like, we're gonna get you. Hope you have insurance.

[A]

Hey, we're gonna hide in a wooden horse, and you're not gonna know dick about it. We're coming in at.

[B]

At best, you'll get splinters. At worst, you die.

[A]

Did anyone ever think that was inside the castle? Why is this giant wooden horse being rolled in here? I mean, and also, it seems like it's almost gonna crack. Is it full of dust or something?

[B]

Why is it talking? Also, why. Why is it murmuring? Also, where are we gonna put this thing. I mean, I hate getting presents where I'm like, I don't even want this. Let's put it in the back of the castle. That's before they opened it.

[A]

Yeah, well, it's. It's a Greek myth. I know. You went to college. You know, It's a Greek. It's a story.

[B]

I know. It's a great one.

[A]

It's a great story. I'll see it. I just don't like crowds, so I'll see it when it's almost.

[B]

That one might have a crowd, but if you like it, I'll go see it. But I don't, you know, I know there's big casting things, but maybe you won't even notice. It'll just be blurred into the movie.

[A]

It's a sandals movie. They used to call those kind of movies. Sandals. Like Kirk Douglas. These actors would have to wear sandals.

[B]

You know, Jason, the Argonauts.

[A]

Yeah, no, that's. That's the greatest. Yeah.

[B]

Okay, what's the next. Oh, what is this one? I don't know what this is. Hold on. Fly. Oh, a prank. Okay, stop it for a second.

[A]

I just got pulled over and I told the cop that I was going

[B]

home because you fell off a ladder and he's coming to make sure you're okay. What are you even talking about?

[A]

I literally just got off of a

[B]

plane and I just walked into the house. The funny prank you're doing your dad. You need to pretend like he's being followed by a copy.

[A]

Something.

[B]

Please.

[A]

He's one minute away.

[B]

I've seen this before with different. Try to get your. The cop said, why are you speeding? I'm on my way home. I'm sorry. My.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

So they see if they'll do it.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, and he's lying down. Okay, Well, it's a funny bit, but it's clear. Listen to him. Staged, right?

[B]

Broke my leg. Where's the cop? You. Dude, I swear to God, Tik Tok or Instagram or whatever the you're doing. It's enough. I'm done. You're in on it too? I think it's funny.

[A]

Well, I mean, was an actual prank. It wasn't a prank of us on

[B]

a. I don't know anymore. Dana, what would you have done?

[A]

Of course you fall off ladders every day.

[B]

I would. Would I do it? It's just so funny. What if Harper told me there's a cop following me and I said you fell? I'd be up front. I'd Be really going life alert

[A]

because

[B]

you can't look to see if it's a cop like this. You have to play it up a little bit before the cop gets. In case they're watching. In case it's real. What if it's real? I'm like me ankle and my fifth metatarsal.

[A]

It didn't look real because if he's lying like that, he would have been knocked out. He should have been just up against

[B]

three minutes to run out and just pour. Oh, important to figure it out.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Just get a ladder. Yeah. And a lay down. I don't know.

[A]

Those people were kicking it. What a fun thing to do. Just to do pranks all day and stuff.

[B]

I know. They go, we thought of a good one.

[A]

I'm gonna prank you on next week episode. But I'm not.

[B]

Do not.

[A]

I hate pranks.

[B]

I hate them. Oh my God. I hate being humiliated.

[A]

It'd be funny if you thought you're getting on the zoom with me here and then I just come up from behind your couch.

[B]

Oh, that would be scary. I think that would scare me too.

[A]

Dead silent. Hello.

[B]

You drove all this way and I get mad.

[A]

Isn't it funny?

[B]

Okay, let's do one more. Then we.

[A]

One more. Then we. I got. We had a lot loaded up.

[B]

Let me see if this one's worth. We did see what this is. This guy's listening on time. Are they talking? I don't know if you guys are

[A]

meta trick by any chance?

[B]

All three of you guys? Sure.

[A]

Okay, all three of you guys give

[B]

me a random number.

[A]

Eight.

[B]

Okay, eight, three, three.

[A]

Final one.

[B]

And 16.

[A]

Okay, eight, three, 16. Now give me a color. Red, purple, Blue. Red, purple. 8, 3, 16. Got it. What if I told you the conversation we just had wasn't real? This was a fully pre recorded and generated conversation. Are you for real? I'm being totally for real. This was pre recorded and generated to react to everything that you just said. This took months of planning. Wait, do it again. Do it again. Do it again.

[B]

How the did you do that?

[A]

What?

[B]

Like I'm gonna have a

[A]

what? So what? I mean, I'm confused. What the. Keith.

[B]

But my head hurts. Wait, do something else.

[A]

Do something else. Do it. Come on.

[B]

I know. It's like a paper.

[A]

Like a towel or something. Wait, how is Heather?

[B]

Did you see that one? Okay, stop. Wow.

[A]

Okay, that's cool.

[B]

It's called. I think it's called chat roulette. You just keep hitting your zoom and it spins and just someone else pops up and you either Talk them for a while or you don't. Yeah. Usually the guys wang out.

[A]

How did he and Heather's experience wang out? Is that the way they call it now?

[B]

Yeah, you can do it. Because it's just. They don't. They're not really recording.

[A]

How did he get the thing that they said randomly on the piece of paper?

[B]

I don't know. That's. That's the intrigue.

[A]

That's the joke part. So all the doing the thing that

[B]

he's writing, I mean, it's obviously a trick if they set it up with him ahead of time. Possibly. But even how he did this part with looked cool, no matter if it was set up where he's playing a video and he's like.

[A]

But I. I had the amazing Kreskin once. He's a guy.

[B]

Did you see him in real life?

[A]

Yeah. And he. I saw. I saw him doing the trick, but I didn't see.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

So he's holding this up, and he goes, give me, give me, give me, you know, two numbers in a letter or something like that. So I said, 3, 7, 3, 7, B. And then he goes like that. And he got a little pencil out, and he was kind of riding it on. On the paper plate as. As he was distracting me.

[B]

He's jizzing.

[A]

Yeah. And I go, hey, Kreskin, that wasn't so.

[B]

Oh, is that what he did? He wrote it like. Okay, yeah.

[A]

So say. You say. Say it to me like.

[B]

Okay, okay. So I'll give you seven.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[B]

You got a pen?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We're doing a magic trick. Everybody start recording. This is going to be good.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

7, 11, and J. Let's see if you can do this. That's it. I feel like those girls in the car. That's it.

[A]

But what he really did was. Say it again. 7, 11, Jeff.

[B]

7, 11, J.

[A]

And then he wrote it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's good.

[A]

He did it better than that.

[B]

He was right on the yellow part. I could read it better.

[A]

I didn't have a blank thing. You know, I have so many ideas. Pads are full of stuff here. It'd be like this. Okay, say another one.

[B]

Okay. Five, three, Q.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

What's he doing?

[A]

That's amazing. Oh.

[B]

Oh, my God. You wrote five, three, lollipop.

[A]

I'm doing it terribly.

[B]

I think it's good. Preskin was big, dude.

[A]

It's all about distraction.

[B]

Over here.

[A]

Look over there.

[B]

Let me tell you something, Dana. When these guys do it to me. I was interrupting you. But when these guys.

[A]

No, no, I Like, let me tell you something. I think it's funny. Let me tell you something.

[B]

Okay. No matter what they want me to do, I do it whether it's on purpose or not. They go, okay, so your wallet's over here. Then they go, oh, a birdie. And I'm like. I look back and then I'm like, how did you do it? They were like, oh, when you looked away, I did it. I'm like, but anyway, were their hands. While they talk, they're doing little tricks that you're supposed to follow something, and then they're rubbing your arm. They got your watch. David Blaine, I've seen him in person and do stuff crazy and do it to me. He did stuff to me. Anyway. He said it was magic.

[A]

Well, you know, Ricard is. It's inside that Baskin Robbins that's closed. It's. It's in the sherbert ice cream.

[B]

You know, like, usually he goes, it's in your anal cavity. I'm like, it is.

[A]

And you would say again.

[B]

I go, I go, is that it? No, those are my car keys. That's a. Yo, yo. Where was that?

[A]

With Lance Bird? You know, he's got the jacket.

[B]

Oh. Because I think it's up his sleeve.

[A]

He's like. And he rolls up the sleeves. And then he just goes like that. And he's got a lit candle.

[B]

Yeah. When David Blaine was on the street, like 10, 20 years ago, and he took a guy down the street and it was. The card is in the other side of a store. On the inside.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Inside the glass.

[B]

And then sometimes it's a newspaper on the glass and puts his arm through the glass.

[A]

That's.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

There's a great YouTube video where he is at Harrison Ford's house.

[B]

I saw that. Yeah.

[A]

He's doing all this sleight of hand, and then somehow what Harrison Ford wrote on gets inside an old. An unpeeled orange or something. Yeah, yeah. And he peels it and then Harrison Ford pauses and says, get out of my house.

[B]

He opens it up and says, get off my plane. That's what he says in Air Force One.

[A]

Yeah, that is get off my plane. Kadish.

[B]

What about. Okay, we can end on that one. David Blaine plays the WI and Resorts world sometimes. I, I, I would like to see.

[A]

He's so entertaining. I, I love, I love magic. I love mag. I'm always very entertained. I want to be tricked.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't want to know how it is.

[A]

No. I like when it's just so inexplicable. You're like, what the.

[B]

Yeah, well, maybe we should get him on and he could do it right here on the thing with us.

[A]

I'd come in, we could do it in there and then.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I get scared. It's so crazy. I think it's like witchcraft.

[A]

But, yeah, he'll try to.

[B]

I would do it. I think he would do it. We could do it in person. Okay. All right, Dana, thanks for coming.

[A]

Yeah, thanks for completion of another episode. Let's.

[B]

It's a miracle.

[A]

Hey, let's read some ads.

[B]

All right, listen, if you're enjoying the Fly on the Wall, of course, hopefully you are, click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that God dang button on your favorite podcast app.

[A]

Leave a review.

[B]

A good one. Leave a review. A five star rating, nothing else.

[A]

Whoops.

[B]

And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think?

[A]

I'm gonna tell you this right now. Hear me now, believe me later. Fly on the Wall, Believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by. Hold for It, Dana Carvey and David Spade or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil Sweettech Talent Production and booking by Sophia Lepore.